Bonus #192 - Live Call Show Vol. 43 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at patreon.com/stavvysworld A new live call show is coming to you straight from the basement in Baltimore, where Stav and Eld reminisce about the chaotic final days of tour and the filming of Stav’s new special, parse through some technical difficulties, and talk to beloved Patreon callers including a woman whose mom is letting loose having casual hookups while living with her son, a woman who wants to tell her coworker/boss’s daughter that she smells so bad it’s disrupting business, and a 30-year-old virgin who loves to play Pokemon. ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  My mom is around 50 years old. She's had three kids. We're all adults now. Um, and since she is, uh, 50, she's become single and she's on and is like swiping right on like young twink barbacks that I know.

• 0:20Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 0:21Speaker 00

  And to like dates at like my friends restaurants that they work at.

• 0:26Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  And then she's also, um, you know, not, she'll tell my brother who, who he works like 12 hour days. To like not come home after work because he's like on a date.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  She will, you know, she'll, she'll make sure to text me like, okay, don't, remember, don't come over after six.

• 0:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Tom flaunting it.

• 0:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man, that's awesome.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  Pays rent.

• 0:52Stavros Halkias?

  He pays rent.

• 0:53Speaker 00

  I'm like mad at my mom for being a bad landlord too.

• 0:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can't, yeah, you can't, you can't be like, uh, restricting the movements of your tenants so you can get dick. That's rude of, that's very rude. Yeah.

• 1:07Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's really funny. Keep going.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  I'll say like, I've kind of like jokingly tried to talk to her about it because it does seem like a, a sensitive subject. And I think she's taking it wrong because she's like, well, don't worry. I'm not just seeing one guy. She's like, I'm seeing multiple guys. Don't worry, mom. I don't worry. You know, I'm getting dick.

• 1:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. I'm not a door. I'm not a loser.

• 1:32Speaker 00

  Crazy. And so I want to talk to her about it, but I know she's gonna be just like super blown up in my face. And I wonder if it's even worth bringing up because it, I mean, I live, you know, I don't live with them or anything like that. It does make me like super angry at her.

• 1:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. So let me ask you.

• 1:52Speaker 00

  I don't know how to.

• 1:53Stavros Halkias?

  Before we get, before we get into the, the, the actual specifics of it, what about this makes you? Cause you're saying you get real angry. Is there something, is there like, what about this do you think is extra triggering for you? Like, cause on some, like, cause there's another world where this happens and you're like, ah, mom, you know what I mean? You're like, that's pretty funny. You know what I'm saying? Like, has your mom always been kind of selfish in certain ways? Is this triggering some like, uh, deep seated resentments or are you just sort of like, you just think it's kind of rude? Is it, do you think it's surface level or does it go back to anything?

• 2:28Speaker 00

  Definitely bringing stuff up like, uh, cause there's been some times where she's been single before. And like in my younger twenties, like definitely needed her and she was like, I was gallivanting somewhere.

• 2:40Stavros Halkias?

  I see. So.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  See it to my little brother and I'm like angry that it's happening to him.

• 2:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:46Speaker 00

  He's like my angel baby.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right. I see, I see, I see. Okay. Wow. Okay. So this is, this is so about, this is about two things, but this is so clearly you're so, you're mad at her for how she behaved when you were younger and you kind, it's, this is fully bringing that anger back up, which is valid. It's just important for you to know, like, cause sometimes in these situations, it's like, if this comes up in a way that, uh, if you confront her, let's say, and you're, you pretend it's all about your brother, it'll feel, it'll ring hollow, I think on some level. Or it'll be, or she, or she'll be able to be like, well, you're just mad about thi- this has nothing to do with me and fucking Eric.

• 3:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's all how mad you are about, right? So you kind of have to, if you're going to address it, I do think this, you, you just kind of lead with that even. When you're like, hey, hey ma, like what's going on? You know, like number one, it's pretty rude. Uh, what you're, what you're doing to, to, to our brother here. Uh, now there's the, the other flip side is, so, okay. So we've established that's where you're coming from. The other flip side of this is if we want to take, if I was your mother's attorney here, I would say she's a grown woman, you know, she's trying, she, this, she's entering a period of her life where she wants to. When you say she recently became single, was she like, was she in a long-term relationship before this?

• 4:12Stavros Halkias?

  Cause and I assumed it was, she just got divorced or something, but is, has she been in and out of relationships? Cause the, the.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Like in and out of relationships. She just had recently broke up with the guy that she was with for like a couple of few years.

• 4:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so this isn't even, cause I was about to give her a lot of grace and be like, look, if she just got out of a fucking shitty relationship with your, you know, dad or stepdad who was a piece of shit or something, let her go. Let, but if this is an established pattern of behavior where she just kind of.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  Also where, cause like we're a little close in, like my mom had me when she was young, not super young, but younger. So we're like kind of friends sometimes more. And so like the other thing of like, I just see she, she is so much more happy with her life. Sometimes when she is single, so it's hard to kind of figure out that line between mother, daughter of like.

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  Or whatever. And then also like, hey lady, if you just like unfocus your life, but then that becomes a line where it's like, not my business.

• 5:12Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's interesting, right? Because maybe your mom just, it like, look, she had you young, right? Which to me screams, didn't really plan it out too much, right? Hold on. Now we have to use headphones because, uh, elegant solution. Hold on.

• 5:31Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Oh, fuck. Now I can hear myself. Can you turn me down?

• 5:35Stavros Halkias?

  This is so fucking funny. You're, I'm so much louder than everything fucking else, dude.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, I can hear like the back of your voice.

• 5:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:45Stavros Halkias?

  Can you please turn me the fuck down and at least in my headphones?

• 5:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. So this, fuck, this sucks, dude. I hate this.

• 5:56Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want to fucking hear myself when I talk to you. Like just sounds fucking weird.

• 6:03Stavros Halkias?

  And now I've completely lost my train of thought because my fucking voice is booming in my own ears.

• 6:09Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. So what I was saying was that, you know, your mom clearly didn't plan on having you. Maybe she was the kind of person that like, yeah, maybe this straight up was not for her, right? Maybe, cause you're saying she's so much happier. So there's like, I don't think you can be judgmental about your mother, about how she lives her life, right? I think the problem is how that is affecting her kids. It's not, if this is who she wants to be, great, right? If she's happier being single, being, you know, not being tied down, whatever, that's fine. And I don't think you can come at her from like, uh, you know, I don't think you can slut shame your mother here, but I think what you can, I think what you can do is just be like, hey, a- and, and the context is very important too, right?

• 6:53Stavros Halkias?

  Because you can go into it with some empathy where you're like, look, I get it. You had me young, whatever. But there were moments where this kind of behavior was harmful to me, whether, you know, and I'm not saying that to, I'm not saying that to sort of like argue. I'm not saying that to hurt your feelings. I just, I, this, this new behavior and how it's affecting my brother. A, it's on, I think you're, you're being a little unfair to him, but B, this is bringing up, um, you know, this is bringing up this old stuff. And I think it's a good opportunity for you to, to bring up something that bothers you organically, right? Like you could be like, hey, you, you could, because I think this is clear, to me, this is clear that this is a big, this is a big problem in your relationship with your mom and probably in your relation, in your family in general.

• 7:39Stavros Halkias?

  And I see it as an opportunity to be like, hey, let's deal with this because if I were to pivot here, right? The other, the other reality is like, look, he pays rent. Okay, fine. It's still her fucking house, you know?

• 7:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  If it was me, I wouldn't charge my kid rent, whatever, but your brother chooses to live there. And the other thing I would say to your brother, how old is your, your brother by the way?

• 8:01Speaker 00

  He's like 23, 24.

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  All right. He's got to fucking move out. What are we talking about? He's got to get the fuck out of here.

• 8:06Speaker 00

  That's the other thing I've been pushing towards. Cause that's the real answer. That's the real actual answer. He moves out and everyone gets to live their own independent life.

• 8:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And I get it. Look, shit's very hard. I mean, there's a statistic that's like half, half of fucking people under a certain age are living with their parents. So I understand shit is really tough right now, but you know, you guys also don't see, this, this doesn't seem to be the traditional setup, right? We're not talking about moving back to your boomer parents basement or some shit. He is roommates with his mom is what your brother, you know?

• 8:40Stavros Halkias?

  And so there's two, these are two separate issues. One is, you know, you talk to your brother, you're like, look, this is annoying. In a perfect world, our mother would not treat you like this, like this. In a perfect world, your mother like is, you know, just a, uh, nothing but support, doesn't charge you rent, is a little more discreet, let's say, but that's not who your mom is, right? So that's fine. So you have to face that reality and you also have to tell him like, look, dude, it sucks, but you just gotta fucking move out or you gotta fucking make a plan and let's, let's see how we can do that, right? And then this, I think you, these are two different things. This is tell your brother to fucking move out and, and, and kind of grow up a little bit

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  and figure out a plan. And then tell your mom like, hey, you could, you could bring it up to her and be like, look, it's a, you know, it's a little much. The kid's fucking 23 and he's got it, he's got it. He's, he's fucking, his PlayStation five is shaking. Cause you're getting your, your fuck, you're getting your back blown out while he's trying to have some cereal for a midnight snack.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  There was like one night where he got off work and he texted me and all he said, he was just waiting in a parking lot. Cause dude, anywhere.

• 9:53Speaker 00

  I was like, oh my god.

• 9:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  I said he should just tell my mom to not be there for a few hours and invite.

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I mean, look, that is the other thing, right? If your mom just wants to be like, we're purely roommates, then you could, he should, now, he can't do it because it's his mom also. This is a weird, this is a weird, like, you know, power dynamic thing. But you could be like, hey, this is kind of fucked. You're charging him rent and you're just like, he's barred from the house. You should be a little more, I think the conversation is like, hey, you know, this is a little fucking weird for him. And can you at least be just a little more, if he's gonna be your roommate and you're gonna charge him rent and you're not his mom who controls everything, then you gotta be more realistic here. He can't just fucking bar him from his own home that he pays rent for. So I think that's a, that's an in with your mom.

• 10:43Stavros Halkias?

  And basically for there, it's like, charge him rent or, you know, have, or have, you know, have.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  Turn it into a sex power.

• 10:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like, if you're charging him rent, you can't really fucking be like, alright, well, I need to fuck whenever I want and you can't nap in your bed because of that? And I'm your mom, by the way, that's another fuck. Like, if that, if that's what, if my roommate told me that and I, it wasn't my mother, I'd be like, okay, well, I don't fucking give a fuck. This is also my apartment.

• 11:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, right.

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  But I think this is obviously a weird situation and I think to me, it's an opportunity for you to maybe get some shit out of, shit off your chest and also just have the conversation with your mom and who knows where that leads to? I don't know what type of person your, your mom is. I don't know if you think she would be receptive to this kind of conversation. My hunch is no, but I don't know, you tell me. But that's what I think, I think these are two separate issues. And you're saying probably not, right? She's probably not gonna love having this conversation.

• 11:42Speaker 00

  No.

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  Well, look.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  But I think you're very much right about that. It's kind of two separate issues and it is a good opportunity for me to be like, hey, this is why it feels so jumbled all together a little bit.

• 11:53Stavros Halkias?

  And listen, you can be honest and give her, so remember they'd be like, I get why this happens, right? You're, because look, her, her youth was interrupted with your birth, you know what I mean? And so, so she's sort of.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  It's that classic, like, what are you, like, turning into your mom is like, where are you? What time are you coming home? Did you finish your homework?

• 12:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right, when you have a parent who, yeah, totally, that, that makes so much fucking sense. So, look, she might not like this conversation, but it's not about her. It's about you getting this off your chest, in my opinion. And, and, and you go, you take it from there and then you also have to look at your brother and be like, hey, dog, this sucks. And it would be nice if at 23, you had a very supportive, you know, parent that does anything for you, whatever. But also, you're being, you're being kind of like, whatever, man, you can't, you're not a fucking kid. If you're mad your mom's getting plowed in your home, get a fucking apartment. Pick up a couple of extra shifts.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Yes, I, I agree.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, sweet. Yeah, you got it. Good luck, let us know how it goes and, you know. Shout out to your mom, look, your mom sounds cool. I'll give her that.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  My mom is the coolest, she's hot, she's cool, she's awesome, you would love her.

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds good. It's a shame she's into these little twinks. If she ever changes her style up, you let me know. Do you need a stepfather?

• 13:15Speaker 00

  I'd love if you were my stepdad.

• 13:18Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry, if I was your stepdad, we're building a little, a little pool house for your brother to live in. No questions asked.

• 13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, well, good luck, Tim Tam.

• 13:27Speaker 00

  Thanks, man. Y'all have a good day. Thanks, Sammy.

• 13:30Stavros Halkias?

  Bye bye. Damn, cut her off ruthlessly. Fucking hung up on her in the middle of her thanks.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  I think she cut, she got cut off, yeah.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, that's who it was. I'm wearing headphones.