#169 - Eric Andre

Eric Andre joins the pod to discuss who gets toilet privileges at his home, watching awesome Ebaums World videos as a kid, his crazy friends from his childhood in Florida, the surprising massage he got in Taipei, Lenny Kravitz's dad, and much more. Eric and Stav help callers including a man whose off-grid oasis has been overrun by trashy YouTubers in RVs, and a woman whose boyfriend asked her to pay for his BBL with money she got from a lawsuit settlement. Follow Eric Andre on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ericfuckingandre https://x.com/ericandre https://www.tiktok.com/@ericandre https://www.youtube.com/@BombingWithEricAndre ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:21Speaker 01

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• 0:39Speaker 02

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• 0:51Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-Stavi. Call in and solve all your problems. On the couch today, very happy to have Eric Andre.

• 1:04Speaker 04

  Hey, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, Hollywood, Tinseltown. You Tinseltown TikTok types are the talk of the town.

• 1:12Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, that's so true.

• 1:14Speaker 04

  Drinking your Hollywood hot dog hogwash.

• 1:17Stavros Halkias?

  That is fucking true as fuck.

• 1:20Speaker 04

  How's showbiz, baby?

• 1:21Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, you're looking at it. Welcome to the new temporary Lower East Side headquarters of Stavi Baby Enterprises. We are between studios.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  I need a new calendar. I need a 2026.

• 1:32Stavros Halkias?

  I might have one for you right here. We gotta find it through all my... I'm moving for the folks at home, but I will get you 12 pictures of my butt cheeks right the fuck now. Yeah, we're, you know, we're all struggling here. We're going through a snow... I got snowed in here. There's nothing here. It's the most depressing, it's the most depressing, like divorced man's apartment setup right now. Like, it feels like my, I was just, my wife just left me for a more beautiful man. And I've got nothing.

• 2:03Speaker 04

  You're living like fucking Lee Harvey Oswald.

• 2:05Stavros Halkias?

  This is a CIA flop house.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  This is Derek Chauvin right before he went to jail.

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  This is that motherfucker with the Mirage in Vegas. This is what his apartment looked like, but with way more...

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Steven Paddock.

• 2:17Stavros Halkias?

  This is Steven Paddock, sweet at the Mirage.

• 2:20Speaker 04

  And the only picture they had of him was him, like, doing a shot of fucking Jack Daniels.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Seems like a cool guy.

• 2:28Stavros Halkias?

  From what I can see, he seems cool.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  Seems chill. You don't know his side of it.

• 2:33Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah. So we're, I'm fucking struggling. I fucked my back up. You gave me a book to read that should solve.

• 2:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, John Sarno. People know there's Sarno heads out there.

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to fucking Sarno, baby.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Shout out to John Sarno. Howard Stern's the biggest Sarno fucking head. Yeah. So is Larry David. Yeah.

• 2:47Stavros Halkias?

  Now, Howard Stern likes, this is the, it's about back pain. Does it teach you how to suck your own dick?

• 2:52Speaker 04

  Yeah. It teaches you how to remove your ribs. It's co-written by Marilyn Manson. And then you can suck your own dick.

• 2:58Stavros Halkias?

  If, if your back got limber enough, could you suck your own dick even with the, now you've got a nice piece.

• 3:04Speaker 04

  Could I? Could I personally?

• 3:06Stavros Halkias?

  You seem like a limber guy.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  I don't think I could reach it, but I've never tried to suck my own dick.

• 3:10Stavros Halkias?

  Were you ever, were you ever like a thin kid or anything like that?

• 3:13Speaker 04

  I was a very thin kid. Yeah. I was a fucking little fucking string bean.

• 3:16Stavros Halkias?

  So you might have at the, but you never attempted to suck, suck yourself balls?

• 3:19Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no. I was fucking eating fruit by the foot and gushers and shit. I wasn't doing this fucking perverse.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  It didn't even occur to you?

• 3:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it's fucking perverse.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  What was your first perverse thought?

• 3:28Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, you're, you're rubbing your dick all the time when you're a little kid, you know? I'm like watching Baywatch and rubbing my fucking dick against some fucking, I would steal my dad's silk boxers and like rub my dick and watch fucking Jenny McCarthy on Singled Out.

• 3:41Stavros Halkias?

  The silk boxers are a nice touch, dude. Was that when you were treating yourself?

• 3:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know. I was, you know, you're fucking 10. So you're like, ah, you're a wild chimpanzee. It's fucking disgusting. So, um.

• 3:53Stavros Halkias?

  And your dad was a silk boxers guy?

• 3:55Speaker 04

  I know. I think he just had like one random pair of silk boxers that I stole and fucking nutted all over. Shit sounded like fucking Velcro coming off the floor. It's fucking disgusting having fucking creepy best of boys coming of age.

• 4:10Stavros Halkias?

  Of having specific jerk off shorts. That's awesome.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  I think I still do. I think I'm like, I have like the three lightest like shirts that are the jizrag jerk off. I'm fucking my pillows. I still fuck my pillow.

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're still a pillow guy?

• 4:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I fuck my pillow. Cause I'm kinda like, you're not, you're kinda like simulating the fucking sex. Yeah, yeah.

• 4:30Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you could, this is interesting to me because I just feel like that to me is childish behavior. No disrespect.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, well.

• 4:35Stavros Halkias?

  To fuck your pillow.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  You're not, you're out of your mind while you're jacking off. You're not like, hey, okay, I'm fucking gonna fucking solve it. E equals mc squared. You're like completely out of your mind. On your jerky, you're a fucking orangutan that escaped the zoo. Yeah.

• 4:53Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna fuck my pillow. Interesting.

• 4:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, you're thinking clear thoughts when you're jerking off. You're like, oh, you're reading E. E. Cummings. You're like, oh, interesting.

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Not horny. I just feel like the pillow, the pillow feels like such a to do.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  No, no, no. I'm like kinda jerking off and then I'm like, you know, if there's like a sock or shirt near the pillow, I'm kinda like fucking rubbing it all around. You gotta get it out. You gotta get it out. You gotta get it out. You gotta get it over with.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  So you're in a.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  So whatever it takes, by any means necessary, I'm the Malcolm X of jerking off.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  That picture.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  By any means unnecessary.

• 5:33Stavros Halkias?

  That picture where he's got the gun and he's looking at just you holding a pocket pussy.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, he has me holding a fucking flashlight.

• 5:40Stavros Halkias?

  See, to me, that feels like you'd be a candidate for flashlights if you're a pillow fucker.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Maybe. Or MyPillow, that MyPillow guy.

• 5:45Stavros Halkias?

  MyPillow, sure, that's a Mike Lindell.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Who made the country great again. The country's great again. I don't know if you noticed.

• 5:53Stavros Halkias?

  I have noticed and I.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  They did it. It's great.

• 5:56Stavros Halkias?

  What if the pillow, what if the secret to the MyPillows, then it's just an okay pillow, but it's awesome to fuck?

• 6:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, I hope so.

• 6:03Stavros Halkias?

  What if that's it?

• 6:04Speaker 04

  I'd be fucking, my apartment would be sky high with MyPillows, sticky ass MyPillows.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful respect. Well, we need to also address before we get into, and I know this is about.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  Every time I jerk off to porn on my phone, I'm like, there's like a Russian fucking KGB guy like watching me jerk off, right?

• 6:21Stavros Halkias?

  Probably. And the thing is, he doesn't see your dick. He just sees your eyes. I think if I had to pick, I'd rather see a random guy's cock than his gaze, than his jack off stare.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Oh, nightmare.

• 6:34Stavros Halkias?

  I think if I had to pick, it's like, all right, a cock's a cock, but that disgusting look in his eyes.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Sunkin' eyes.

• 6:39Stavros Halkias?

  That hunger, those fucking, yeah.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Horrendous.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  We should look, well, this is obviously about you, Eric, and we're very happy to have you here.

• 6:48Speaker 04

  Oh, whatever.

• 6:48Stavros Halkias?

  We should address, Eldis, this is day two, two full days in this apartment. Eldis takes his first shit, immediately clogs the bathroom.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  Disgusting.

• 6:58Stavros Halkias?

  Immediately clogs the bathroom.

• 6:59Speaker 05

  It was after the first couple flushes, let's start there. So it's not like, you know, it's not like a crime scene in there. It's just some clear water still, but.

• 7:08Stavros Halkias?

  Clear water, no shit particles?

• 7:10Speaker 05

  No.

• 7:11Stavros Halkias?

  Well.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  You shit.

• 7:13Speaker 05

  There's not like turds floating around, you know, there's always bacteria and stuff, of course, but.

• 7:17Speaker 04

  There's always bacteria.

• 7:18Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay.

• 7:19Speaker 05

  The bacteria.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  I'd a dollar for every time I fucking heard that, brother.

• 7:23Stavros Halkias?

  So what's, is the water up high? What do you mean there's no shit?

• 7:26Speaker 05

  Uh.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  It won't flush clean?

• 7:28Speaker 05

  I think.

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Bring one of those cameras in there, let's see what we're cooking with.

• 7:31Speaker 05

  I think by the end of this episode, the water will be pretty low and it'll be safe to try another flush to follow up and see if.

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  But the water is at the top of the bowl right now.

• 7:40Speaker 05

  It was about, it was like maybe a little past halfway, so I didn't want to risk it when it was, when it was like that. But, you know, we'll get a plunger in here sooner, sooner or later.

• 7:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 7:49Speaker 05

  We'll get to the bottom of it.

• 7:49Stavros Halkias?

  What was this a particular, this is just something we need to know with you. Cause if, this doesn't even feel like it was a run of, this feels like a run of the mill shit.

• 7:56Speaker 05

  It was a run of the mill shit.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  From shitting in my apartment.

• 7:59Speaker 05

  No, no, no, no, well.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  I don't let, yeah, I don't let anybody shit my apartment, that's crazy.

• 8:03Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want to.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  You go down, you go outside on the street, you shit in the sewer. Get the fuck out of my house.

• 8:10Stavros Halkias?

  This is why I wanted to.

• 8:11Speaker 04

  My mom, okay, she's 81, I'll.

• 8:12Stavros Halkias?

  Your mom is the only person who's got the shit pass?

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Fuck, I'm gonna kick my mom out, but yeah, guys, no man is coming over. Women can shit in my house, of course, like.

• 8:21Stavros Halkias?

  Small women shits.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, like women shitting is fine, cause they're fucking respectful about a man shitting, it's like, goddamn rhinoceros loose.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  I'm with you, actually, you know what? If I had my druthers, I would not allow a man to shit in my apartment.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, men should not shit in my.

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  This is over, maybe you.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  Men gotta go downstairs or outside, the shit has to go away.

• 8:41Speaker 05

  I respect that, actually.

• 8:43Stavros Halkias?

  And that's, that's gentlemanly of you as well. Now, is there a woman who you'd be like? You know what I mean? Like, maybe a bigger girl.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe a friend of yours who you know is is small, but maybe she eats a lot of protein. Do you have any like small weightlifting friends? And you're like, I know she's gonna rock my shit with those.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  All my small weightlifting friends. All my female bodybuilder friends. That is true. I don't, you know, you're making a good case.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  I guess you don't really run in those circles.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  Well, it's not true. I mean.

• 9:13Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have, who's your most jacked female friend, would you say?

• 9:16Speaker 04

  I don't know. That's a great question. That's just, I'm stumped. I don't know. Cause there's so many.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see you being randomly friends with like someone who does like aerial yoga.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  What the fuck is that?

• 9:29Stavros Halkias?

  Some bit, some like lady on a fucking ribbon.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  She's doing like the fucking.

• 9:33Stavros Halkias?

  She's got weird.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  House of yes, the box kinda shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  You, you can't tell me you have it like befriended a Cirque du Soleil light.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm running those circles.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  Who would be friends with one of those.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  I'm not letting her take a shit in my house. I'll tell you that. Okay, so we found. Dad, I draw the line. A man has boundaries. I can only be so many things to so many people.

• 9:59Stavros Halkias?

  I get that. I get that. You're right, man. I'm gonna, Elvis, I think you might have lost your shitting in my house.

• 10:03Speaker 05

  Well, look, I don't wanna point the finger, but you need to get someone up here to check out the water pressure.

• 10:07Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 10:08Speaker 05

  That toilet.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  Make them blame him.

• 10:12Speaker 05

  That toilet is not going fast.

• 10:14Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, pal, this is my, what these, what this apartment has to offer, okay? And by the way, I'm fat as shit. I've shit a couple of times. I took some pretty hefty Indian food shits this weekend. Cause how I got to the snowstorm, Eric, is I just bought a hundred twenty dollars of Indian food and rationed it for the weekend. That was my equivalent of like.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  It's not like we live in the medieval times. The supermarket was open.

• 10:39Stavros Halkias?

  I hurt my back, you know, it's hard for me to walk.

• 10:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:42Stavros Halkias?

  So I had to really, I had to make some chicken tandoori, some lamb Rogan Josh, some fucking.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Joe Rogan lamb.

• 10:49Stavros Halkias?

  Some Joe, yeah, yeah, yeah, some elk, some fucking curried elk meat. What else did I get going? Chickpeas?

• 10:59Stavros Halkias?

  And the grilled tandoori chicken.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 11:03Stavros Halkias?

  A couple of rices, you know what I'm saying? Some osa. Made that last three days.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  Stretch, stretch your time. What else is at the supermarket? What other foods are at the supermarket?

• 11:12Stavros Halkias?

  This is about truth, Eric. I'm not stretching.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  I get it. We're on Truth Social, we can talk about right now.

• 11:18Stavros Halkias?

  And we are sponsored by Truth Social. Retruth this episode with Eric Andre. We're happy, we're happy. We've switched from serious to truths. We are a Truth Social original now.

• 11:30Speaker 04

  Stavie's World is moving to Rumble.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Rumble, the boxing gym?

• 11:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's, it's where you could just be, you could just say the N word. It's for real. It's like the racist YouTube, basically. They're like, YouTube is too libbed out. We can't even say straight slurs. So Rumble exists now. So we're on Rumble.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  I gotta get on that Rumble.

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  I think you'd actually have a good time. I think you'd have a good time on Rumble.

• 11:58Stavros Halkias?

  Rumble is very, Rumble does feel very Florida coded and you are a Florida boy.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you must have fucking, you must have had some fucking, what's the crew looking like in Florida growing up?

• 12:08Speaker 04

  Now they're almost all dead.

• 12:10Stavros Halkias?

  Really? All your childhood friends are dead?

• 12:13Speaker 04

  So many overdoses. For real. And I thought that was like the norm that most people like their childhood class clown friends.

• 12:20Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 12:21Speaker 04

  Like a class clown in Florida is just like a kid willing to like die for a joke.

• 12:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. A kid fucking playing Russian roulette.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Totally, totally.

• 12:29Stavros Halkias?

  Isn't this fucking funny?

• 12:31Speaker 04

  Totally, totally. Butterfly knives in school and shit, like sketchy, sketchy. Pantera shirt.

• 12:38Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck yes, dude. I love that shit.

• 12:40Speaker 04

  Phil Ensemble.

• 12:42Stavros Halkias?

  May he rest in peace.

• 12:45Stavros Halkias?

  I think he did, right?

• 12:46Speaker 04

  It's Dimebag Daryl.

• 12:47Stavros Halkias?

  Or Dimebag Daryl. Phil's still kicking?

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:50Stavros Halkias?

  Phil in his deep ass voice.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  Stronger than ever.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  I take it. Sorry, Phil. That's fucking, so you're, you were, are you saying you were like the tamest in the crew?

• 13:00Speaker 04

  That's insane.

• 13:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was the tamest.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  If you were like the fucking well-balanced one in your group. My friend Alex was like chasing these kids and threw a little hatchet through the back of their car window and then landed like an inch deep in their thing. He's like, whatever, they cut me off, dude, while I was driving.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  Like he was fucking totally crazy. He was totally crazy. He would eat Adderall all morning and eat OxyContin all night. He didn't, he didn't last long. He didn't last long.

• 13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Burn bright.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Last long. Burn bright.

• 13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Burn bright.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, he would like bathe and like, he would do acid and bathe and toothpaste.

• 13:35Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  And his skin would be burning and he'd be like, ah, and he'd go, he'd be on acid. He'd be like, if God exists, fuck you. If God exists, fuck you. And he'd be like, ah, Alex is crazy, dude.

• 13:47Speaker 05

  That was the class clown?

• 13:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's what a fun goof was?

• 13:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, dude.

• 13:55Speaker 04

  Our class clowns are like Gigi Allen and like motherfuckers like that.

• 14:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I was, I was one of the funniest guys just for like repeating shit I heard on the Anchorman commentary. That's what was like the being, that was being funny. Call someone gay, you know what I mean? Baltimore 2004, dude.

• 14:17Stavros Halkias?

  Cue someone being gay. Later turns out he is gay and you feel bad.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  John Waters.

• 14:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, actually I lost class clown to a closeted gay guy. Who might be the funniest guys, right? Cause like a closeted gay guy's gotta be.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  Peter Thiel.

• 14:31Stavros Halkias?

  In high school. Oh, yeah.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Knee slapper.

• 14:34Stavros Halkias?

  They're on, they're on, they're on their, they're like on the offensive. You know what I mean? Like, cause they're funny.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:40Stavros Halkias?

  Gay guys are hilarious, right? And they're also like, gotta keep, gotta keep you off the scent. So they have to strike, call you fat, call you white. You know what I mean? Really get your ass.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  White?

• 14:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I was white. I was one of the few.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  Who was the guy? Was he black?

• 14:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  Oh, black gay closeted.

• 14:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, black gay closeted.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Why do these lights need to be so bright?

• 14:59Stavros Halkias?

  I take that up with eldest man. I don't know what to tell you.

• 15:00Speaker 04

  Is that really the like, like there's a light, there's two lights per one camera.

• 15:08Speaker 04

  You need three cameras.

• 15:09Stavros Halkias?

  We have a pro setup, dude.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  It's just me and you hanging out here.

• 15:12Stavros Halkias?

  I think Aldous is making up for shit, clogging my toilet.

• 15:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, I had to crank some all up.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Especially this light. This is like just lighting nothing.

• 15:19Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I think we're getting the backdrop maybe?

• 15:21Speaker 05

  You're getting the backdrop, getting those edges a little.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Blinding. It's like I could see like the veins in my retina pulsating like a ren and Stimpy fucking still.

• 15:32Speaker 04

  See like cells floating in my fucking pupil.

• 15:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we got the casting lighting set up. You familiar with?

• 15:40Speaker 04

  It's weird like going to countries where porn is illegal.

• 15:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:43Speaker 04

  Like in Korea and India, like I would be like, man, I'd get a jack off and go to bed and it'd be like, no, you're not. I'm like, oh, come on, man.

• 15:53Stavros Halkias?

  Korea and India?

• 15:54Speaker 04

  Bathing suit. Many, many countries porn is illegal.

• 15:57Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude. The South is like that where you have to go through, you have to like, in England now, I was in London, they gotta fucking, you gotta fucking scan your face. It's fucked up, dude.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, France is doing that too, but that's more to like, keep children, prevent children from watching it. That's not like porn is illegal.

• 16:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy, dude.

• 16:13Speaker 04

  That's just like.

• 16:14Stavros Halkias?

  You should be able, a child should be able.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  How's the boy gonna become a man?

• 16:18Stavros Halkias?

  A child should be able to watch pornography.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  I did. I watched like snuff footage on E-bomb's World. I would watch like, this woman was crushed in a fucking industrial factory. By a fucking nightmare machine.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Tis popped out, one of the tits popped out.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  Rotten.com and all that shit. I would destroy my mom's computer, downloading like fucking nightmare footage. This guy was run over by a steamroller.

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  Mama was doing my homework. I don't know why it's running so slow. I was on homework.com.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  Trying to download like a JPEG of Jenna Jameson. It's coming in like.

• 17:03Stavros Halkias?

  Coming across like.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Top Matrix printer.

• 17:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I got in trouble for just crushing a whole like thing of ink on a, a picture of a Trish Stratus. You could see her nipples through a white t-shirt.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Why do you have a thing, you had a thing of ink like a Ben Franklin quill dip?

• 17:19Stavros Halkias?

  It was, you know, you know how expensive toner and shit was, dude? That was probably like a fucking $40 picture of tits.

• 17:28Speaker 04

  Like Berndoltz told me that when he like worked at like the, he worked for the, the MTA of Chicago. Like he worked for the bus station, like basically. And like, it was like Gen one internet. He's like, dude, I'm gonna print out Madonna's sex book. He printed it out, he printed it out at work and forgotten his boss came back like, don't print this shit out in the fucking. I'm going to Portillo's. I don't need this shit.

• 17:52Stavros Halkias?

  I love, it's like, that's old internet where it's like, the printer had like the little pieces of paper up top. Remember the little, the dots?

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:59Stavros Halkias?

  The circles?

• 18:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:00Stavros Halkias?

  The respect. So that's black and white.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Respect.

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Ike Behrholz, man, jacking off, just jacking off in the fucking Chicago MTA. Forgetting, forgetting the sex books nuts. I remember every piece of pornography.

• 18:13Speaker 04

  It took like a year to download it, four years to print it.

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV. Terms apply.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  Pandora makes it easy for you to find your favorite music. Discover new artists and genres by selecting any song or album, and we'll make you a personalized station for free. Download on the Apple App Store or Google Play and enjoy the soundtrack to your life.

• 19:17Stavros Halkias?

  So you might, so you were just a complete, you were an only child, I'm guessing?

• 19:20Speaker 04

  No, I have an older sister.

• 19:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you have an older sister?

• 19:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so, but you were destroying the, the computer.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  My sister's eight years older than me, so she was already out of the house.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Perfect timing.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. So, but when you're in your prime, looking at fucked up stuff.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  So when I was like 10, she was off to college.

• 19:33Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  So then I was fucking, you know, destroying computers left and right.

• 19:37Stavros Halkias?

  And were your parents just done, like, did they, did parenting one child take it out of them?

• 19:43Speaker 04

  They got divorced like right when my sister left, like when I was like 11 or 12.

• 19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so it was a real bummer that you're still around. They're like, she's gone, we're divorced. We still gotta figure out this fucking piece of shit. He's doing whipits. He's doing fucking whipits with a kid with fucking neck tattoos.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  I wasn't, I wasn't with the crazy kids at first.

• 20:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  In middle school, I started getting really hyper and crazy. So I was still getting like straight A's.

• 20:10Stavros Halkias?

  And this must have been some like undiagnosed ADD shit, right?

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't, probably, I mean.

• 20:15Stavros Halkias?

  It is, knowing you, it is. You're telling me you still don't know? You're telling me everyone in your life hasn't told you? You fucking, you were late cause you went to the grocery store before the podcast.

• 20:28Speaker 04

  I was so hyper in school. I was crazy in school.

• 20:33Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  I was crazy in school, especially when I started pressing puberty, I was not.

• 20:38Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really? The puberty.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, when the testosterone started growing.

• 20:44Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm, I'm understanding the, why you're still fucking pillows.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:47Stavros Halkias?

  This is like still, when you get.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  I got my testosterone tested when I turned 40, I'm 42.

• 20:52Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  And the fucking doctor goes, you're still have like ton of testosterone. You're like a bull.

• 20:58Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  And I was like, hell, yeah. So, uh, how's the estrogen? And he's like, that's really high too. You got like titties and shit.

• 21:05Stavros Halkias?

  You're just hormoned up?

• 21:07Speaker 04

  I'm just like a sensual man of the earth, huge pendulous breasts.

• 21:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. How's the titties? How are your titties? Are your titties?

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I have some nice titties.

• 21:15Stavros Halkias?

  Are your titties, uh, uh?

• 21:16Speaker 04

  Subtle.

• 21:17Stavros Halkias?

  Now, do you, are they like sensitive? Getting them pinched?

• 21:22Speaker 04

  They're sensitive, you know?

• 21:23Stavros Halkias?

  If you're getting your dick sucked, are you playing with your nipples?

• 21:27Speaker 04

  I'm not not playing with my nipples.

• 21:29Stavros Halkias?

  You're not looking for it, but if it pops up?

• 21:31Speaker 04

  I'm not looking for it, but if it happens.

• 21:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're not telling anyone to stop.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  That's kinda how I am with any sexual activity. I'm like, I didn't think that I was into that, but guess what? Turns out I am.

• 21:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. I saw a clip of, I saw a clip online where you were talking about going to Thailand or some shit.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  Taiwan.

• 21:46Stavros Halkias?

  Taiwan.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  Taiwan. So I went with my ex.

• 21:51Stavros Halkias?

  Ex, okay.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  She's Taiwanese. She wanted to surprise her dad and I wanted to go there.

• 21:55Stavros Halkias?

  And he was working, he was giving you the massage?

• 21:57Speaker 04

  He was giving me the massage.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  So he went to his massage parlor. No, so she and my friends, the international tea masters from Miami, he's this Cuban stoner dude. And he goes to Taiwan three times a year.

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  International tea?

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Tea master. He's obsessed with tea.

• 22:11Stavros Halkias?

  Sick.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  So Taiwan has the best tea in the world, right?

• 22:14Stavros Halkias?

  Really? Okay, sick.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  All the tea culture, shit like that.

• 22:16Stavros Halkias?

  Taiwan seems awesome. I want to go. Yeah, yeah.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  So he's always there. So I was like, fuck, why don't you surprise your dad? I go hang out with, his name is Michael.

• 22:25Stavros Halkias?

  Drink some fucking top notch chamomile.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  Top notch, oolong, who are lap song, Sushang, I'm drinking tea of the gods, right? And um.

• 22:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's what's awesome about you. You're lit- you literally just mean I'm drinking awesome tea.

• 22:39Speaker 04

  Just tea. There's no euphemism. There's no metaphor, like tea, like PG tips, Earl Grey.

• 22:46Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome at tea.

• 22:47Speaker 04

  I have a friend, he's the first Western, his joke is I'm the first round eye who won the international tea conference. In Vegas everywhere year. It's always like 200 year old Chinese guys.

• 22:56Stavros Halkias?

  Coming for you guys.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  And he's just this like Miami Cuban stoner dude that makes amazing tea. So shout out to Michael.

• 23:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so you're in Taiwan, you're going to Taiwan.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  So I go to meet up with him and I'm dating a Taiwanese guy. Her dad lives there. So I was like, well, surprise your dad. So she's taking me around Taipei. We're drinking. We're having a fucking blast. The food's amazing there. And she goes, you know, it's like, uh, it's part of the culture to get to go to a massage parlor after a night of drinking. Not like a jack off place, just like a fucking total Burke Williams spa. It's like a way to wind down after drinking. I was like, fucking awesome.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  That sounds sick.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  We go into this place. It looks totally normcore fluorescent lighting. There's old people playing fucking mahjong and reading the paper in the front. It's three, four in the morning, maybe five in the morning.

• 23:44Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  And it's like men and women work there. It's bright. It's not all dark and like, you know what I mean? Brothely, no blackout windows. It's not brothel at all.

• 23:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  So I'm like, okay, we'll get a couples massage. And the massage there, a massage in America is like luxury. So it's really expensive. Massage there is like going to the grocery store. It's like 40 bucks for two hours. Whatever. So we get a couples massage.

• 24:08Stavros Halkias?

  Same room.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  Same room. She's on one side. She's a female therapist. I'm on the other side. I have a male therapist. They put a little, like a little dicky curtain. Like a little fucking airplane blanket between us.

• 24:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 24:20Speaker 04

  Totally normal, getting a massage, she's getting rubbed on, I'm gonna rub down. Then the guy starts getting fucking up in my spaghetti and meatballs. And I'm face down, I'm not, I'm not up here.

• 24:29Stavros Halkias?

  He's giving you the underneath?

• 24:30Speaker 04

  He's going, he's just getting real fucking close and comfortable. He's fucking going woo.

• 24:36Stavros Halkias?

  He's grazing your nuts.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  He's grazing and I'm like, fuck, don't get a boner, don't be gay, don't get a boner, don't be. I get a raging hard on, I'm like, I'm fucking good, alright.

• 24:44Stavros Halkias?

  You got a high T, bro. High T betrayed you.

• 24:47Speaker 04

  And the high E. Both, both. So I'm rock hard, I'm like, fuck dude, this guy's like fucking, give me a boner. And I was like, alright.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  And your fucking girl.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  And my girlfriend and the other lady is right there. I'm like, fucking A. So he flips me over and I'm like, fuck, you gotta get your boner to chill. You're like trying to get your boner to come down. And he starts fucking going all around fucking boner town.

• 25:12Stavros Halkias?

  And what does this guy look like?

• 25:13Speaker 04

  I'm like a hard, he's not attractive, he's like, he's just like a schlubby.

• 25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't seem like a, I mean, not that he anything, but just a regular.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  No, he wasn't.

• 25:20Stavros Halkias?

  Just a schlub.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  He was kinda schlubby, he wasn't like, like he wasn't like.

• 25:24Stavros Halkias?

  Just a masseuse, a good masseuse.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Does a good masseuse, so I'm like, you know what, I'm in Taiwan.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  There's not feminine about him?

• 25:28Speaker 04

  No, no, he's not particularly like effeminate or feminine, so like, he's, he's.

• 25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Any facial hair?

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's kinda got some scrass, he's balding, he's got some zits.

• 25:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds hot.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  So, you know, so he's like doing his thing and then I'm like, and then he goes and I'm fucking rock hard. I'm like, god damn it. And then I'm like.

• 25:47Stavros Halkias?

  And you're flipped over.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  And I'm flipped over, I'm like pitching a ten, fully pitching a ten. It looks like fucking when you're like a ghost for Halloween, that's a little good, you know? So, I'm like, fuck. And I'm looking at my girlfriend and she's noticing, and then, and then he goes, and he speaks no English. He just goes, it's okay? And I'm like, yeah, it's okay, what do you mean it's okay? It's okay. And then he goes, it's okay? And I'm like, yeah, man, and in my mind, I'm like, if you're talking about jerking me off right now, just fucking do it. Get it over with, make sure the fucking girls don't hear, cause I've crossed, my mind is already crossed. The fucking point of no return.

• 26:21Stavros Halkias?

  You think it's been hard for too long.

• 26:22Speaker 04

  I'm like, just get it out, get the poison out. It's okay, I'm like, yeah, it's okay, it's okay. And I don't know what, like culturally, I'm like, maybe this is just, maybe I'm thinking. Getting the wrong.

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  He goes, no, it's okay. It's okay. I'm like, it's okay. Just shut the fuck up. You know, like the girls are there. Just just get over it. So I close my eyes. And then I feel like, like a hot octopus, you know, on my dick. And I'm like, oh dude, he's going to town on my dick. He's like jerking me off. Then I look, he's giving me a fucking blowjob full. He gets two sucks in. And I've never been jerked off by a guy, let alone getting a blowjob. So I'm like, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Like it was like too much for me. I want, you know what I mean? I was like, no. And I knock on his head like a door. And I'm like,

• 27:01Speaker 04

  girls. I was like, the girls are here. I was like, dude, maybe if, you know, later I come back, she goes to sleep. She goes to sleep. I come through the back. We, you know, we, we fucking horse around a little bit. So he gets two full, like slurp, slurp. And he's just like,

• 27:18Speaker 04

  and then uh, I'm like, oh, this is crazy. I'm like, this is crazy. I'm having like a homosexual awakening. So then the massage finishes normal. They leave.

• 27:27Stavros Halkias?

  You don't nut?

• 27:28Speaker 04

  No, I don't know. I'm like backed up and I'm like, I'm like fucking in hysterics, you know?

• 27:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  And I tell my girlfriend, I'm like,

• 27:33Stavros Halkias?

  The surprise of the suck took you out of the moment.

• 27:36Speaker 04

  It was too much. Maybe if the girls weren't there, I would have just been like, all right, I'm in Taipei, baby. Let's go.

• 27:40Stavros Halkias?

  Let's take the if out of that statement.

• 27:46Stavros Halkias?

  Let's go ahead. If it was a thicker curtain,

• 27:52Stavros Halkias?

  let alone if they weren't there.

• 27:56Stavros Halkias?

  If it was sound dampening at all.

• 28:01Stavros Halkias?

  Dubitine or something.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Foley blankets. So, um, so the massage therapist leave and I tell my girlfriend, I'm like, dude, that guy just fucking rubbed, jerked me off and sucked my dick. And she's like, she's like, what? You told me this is part of the cultural thing. She goes, that's not what I fuck. I'm like, dude, that guy sucked my dick. I'm not even fucking joking. And she's dying laughing. She's dying laughing. She's like, did you like it? And I was like instantly cunty. I like found out what kind of gay guy it was. I was like, nah, he was pudgy. I was like a bitch.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  But if he was hot, that's awesome.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  He was hot. I would have gotten like a better sound for me back. And then like the worst part was I walked out. And immediately my girlfriend goes off and goes to the bathroom and her female therapist is long gone. It's just me and the dude in the hallway like, and I'm just like, you like sports?

• 28:58Speaker 04

  You want some tea or I got a tea guy here?

• 29:01Stavros Halkias?

  You hang out with him? He's in the crew? He sucks your friend off for some oolong?

• 29:08Speaker 04

  So is it? I had an homosexual awakening in Taipei.

• 29:11Stavros Halkias?

  The rest of that trip, you're thinking about that guy sucking you. You're at dinner with her, your, her dad.

• 29:17Speaker 04

  Oh, she was like, she was-

• 29:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's gotta be in the back of your head.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Not the back of my head, the front of my, we didn't, we didn't stop talking about it the whole fucking trip. We're like, we gotta hit that guy up.

• 29:29Stavros Halkias?

  Respecting that guy too, for sucking dick in a couples massage. You know, that's a-

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Fucking, that's fucking, he sent it.

• 29:36Stavros Halkias?

  He got a, he got a thrill out of that. That's wild. That's a man living on the edge.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  That's wild.

• 29:41Stavros Halkias?

  I kind of respect, I tip my cap to that man.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Tipping a cap to you, sir.

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's like fucking trying to get three stars on the mission. You know what I mean? He's trying to be, he's trying to be as gay and sneaky as possible. That's awesome, dude.

• 29:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was wild.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking, I'm always, I'm jealous that you travel like a motherfucker. Every time I text you, you're like, I'm in fucking Zimbabwe or whatever the fuck. You're always somewhere cool.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  Let's go to Greece.

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to go.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Macedonia.

• 30:05Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to go to Greece. I want to do a whole fucking road trip, but I want to go somewhere. Where did you just, where'd you just come back from? You were in the fucking-

• 30:11Speaker 04

  I was in Barbados, Dominica, Martinique and St. Lucia.

• 30:15Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah, dude.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, brother.

• 30:16Stavros Halkias?

  Getting some fucking rays?

• 30:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, brother fucker. I swam with the fucking sperm whales.

• 30:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 30:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, speaking of sperm.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  I'm sailing with the sperm whales, let me flex some fucking sperm whale content.

• 30:26Stavros Halkias?

  Please show us some sperm whale content.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  I'm gonna flex on you hard, my G.

• 30:30Stavros Halkias?

  That is fucking awesome, dude. So you're just go, you're, you're a beach bum. You're also, you took a fucking sick trip to Africa last year.

• 30:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I'm going back, I'm going back this year, I'm going to a cocktail festival in South Africa. This is me and my friend, at least.

• 30:42Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Swimming with the fucking sperm whales.

• 30:44Stavros Halkias?

  Bro, these whales, you gotta send this to elders, that's, you're so close to those fucking whales.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, we were swimming right at them and they would just go.

• 30:51Stavros Halkias?

  And they're just chill bros?

• 30:52Speaker 04

  They're just chill ass bros, they're like sea cows.

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit, dude.

• 30:55Speaker 04

  It's wild.

• 30:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. What's, is that the largest animal you've been near?

• 31:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a fucking whale. What's the, what's the, no, I was next to a fucking T-Rex. I went to Jurassic Park.

• 31:09Stavros Halkias?

  The megalodon dude, the big ass shark. That's fucking crazy.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, man.

• 31:14Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, did you feel, were you just like, that's a sick thing to do?

• 31:17Speaker 04

  Time stood still, I felt like I was on Mars, man. It was fucking gorgeous.

• 31:21Stavros Halkias?

  Is that, what's your favorite trip you took? What's the wildest shit you saw?

• 31:25Speaker 04

  Haiti was pretty wild. And um, wild as in like, like, like fucking, there's no laws there kinda place? Haiti is like, there's no laws, this place is in the, there's parts of the Philippines and parts of Brazil that I was like, this is fucking gnarly property. But uh.

• 31:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm scared of, I'm definitely scared of parts of Brazil, like parts of Brazil and then parts of, yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 04

  I'll be honest with you, the, the most danger I've ever been in my life is always in American cities.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Gun in my face in Providence, knife in my face in Boston. I mean, you're from Baltimore, right? Like, fuck dude, like, I don't know, like, people think like, oh, the world's not that scary. I mean, we give guns to every, every one of our citizens as guns and like whiskey.

• 32:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's true, I mean, it's just, it's a danger I understand better. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know, like you, you, you like, without realizing got your dick sucked. What if that guy was a violent criminal? That guy was able to sneak your cock in his mouth?

• 32:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:25Stavros Halkias?

  Imagine if he was trying to rob you or, or kill you?

• 32:28Speaker 04

  Bit on my dick.

• 32:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I'm fucking, I am fucking scared. I mean, when I was younger, I was like scared of, of like anything I didn't understand at all. Like I was scared of China and shit like that, but now I wanna go. I mean.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  It always seems scarier before you go and then when you land, you're like, oh, it's totally normal. And like 90% of people on earth are not like violent, fucking sociopathic criminals. They're just like wanna like, eat food and go to bed.

• 32:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's more the like, uh, the, the tourist scams. You know what I mean? Especially when you're fat.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, you gotta go with somebody that like knows the lay of the land and they can avoid that shit. You need, you need a fixer.

• 33:06Stavros Halkias?

  If you're fat, if you're a fat white man in a Hawaiian shirt.

• 33:10Stavros Halkias?

  These motherfuckers are rubbing their fucking.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  I love China.

• 33:13Stavros Halkias?

  They're rubbing, the scammers are ready, dude. They're ready to sexually coerce you. They're ready to rob you.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  You gotta go, if you have a local on the ground, that's the best. That's the best. And now like with the contacts I've made and just through Instagram, I'll just throw up like comics are good. Like when I was in Hong Kong, I was like, hey, any Hong Kong comedians out here? And a bunch of people reached out. I met a bunch of comedians in India. Like they can tap you in because they're on the same wavelength as you and your pursuits, but also they know the different languages and they know where to go and know where not to go. So like comics actually like have a good structure of community.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like you could also blend in a nice way, a lot of places.

• 33:55Speaker 04

  I'm ethically ambiguous.

• 33:56Stavros Halkias?

  You really could fuck, you put a hat on.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  I am white in Africa and Haiti. I'm fucking Haitian. My dad's from Haiti and they were like, blanc, blanc, blanc, blanc. I was like, half blanc.

• 34:09Stavros Halkias?

  How dare you.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  Half pino noir.

• 34:14Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude. Pierre was from fucking Haiti.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  Pierre was from Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Yeah. Yeah.

• 34:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's fucking sick.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:20Stavros Halkias?

  What kind of, what were your parents into? What were they like? What'd they do for you?

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Straight fucking dog.

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  They were sucking it fucking all the time?

• 34:26Speaker 04

  Fucking like a Taiwanese fucking massage therapist.

• 34:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, what? You grew up in South Florida, like?

• 34:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was born in Miami and I was raised like in the suburbs, Boca Raton, where Jerry Seinfeld's fictional parents are. My mom's still down there.

• 34:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's kind of perfect.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:43Stavros Halkias?

  Your dad's made your mom was Jewish?

• 34:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's a Jew from Harlem.

• 34:45Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's kind of, Jew from Harlem ending up in Boca Raton is almost like, exactly right.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's where, that's like where.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  So Jews go to die. God's waiting room.

• 34:57Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever consider doing the Kramer and moving into a retirement community?

• 35:00Speaker 04

  No, I grew up in that. I grew up and escaped that, you know?

• 35:04Stavros Halkias?

  So there's all old motherfuckers around?

• 35:06Speaker 04

  All old people. That was my whole childhood.

• 35:08Stavros Halkias?

  When they, when your parents got divorced, did you live with one of them more than the other?

• 35:11Speaker 04

  I lived with my mom, but my dad was in the same town, like fucking, you know, 10 minutes away.

• 35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  So it's not like, you know, he didn't move like to a different.

• 35:18Stavros Halkias?

  We get any step family?

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I got a step mom. My dad remarried, a Lebanese woman.

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting. Getting more beige in the family. You know what I mean? It was like, let's get Lebanese. Nice.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:31Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  And then they got divorced and then he was dating this like Puerto Rican Haitian chick.

• 35:35Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Pierre, dude.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  And then he died. Then he broke up with her and died.

• 35:41Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude, when the pussy's so good.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:44Stavros Halkias?

  Once it's taken, once it's taken away.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Bring it up through a chick through an email.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Or he like wrote her a letter where me and my sister were like, dad, that's harsh dude. You were dating that woman for three years, you coward. Like you gotta fucking break up with her in person, at least a phone call. He's like, no, I wrote her a letter, you know, I'm like, you are a fucking chicken. Yeah, that's harsh.

• 36:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  He's like, what if I fall and you need to go to hospital, she won't be here. I'm like, okay, well, yeah, that's a reason, but I don't know. Maybe express like communicate better than.

• 36:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  Communication wasn't as strong.

• 36:19Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, immigrant dads.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Immigrant dads. What's your parents?

• 36:22Stavros Halkias?

  Greek, both Greek.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  No, but like from Greece?

• 36:24Stavros Halkias?

  From Greece, they came here in like 82.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  Oh, your first generation?

• 36:27Stavros Halkias?

  First generation.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Why did they move? Why did they leave Greece?

• 36:29Stavros Halkias?

  They left, they left because my mom's, my mom's parents were here. My, my grandfather moved to Greece, some real classic old world. Don't consult your wife about anything shit. He just got a, he got a job offer in Greece to move to America. And he just comes home.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Your dad did?

• 36:47Stavros Halkias?

  My grandfather, my mom's dad. And he just comes home one day, he's like, um, by the way, I'm moving to, we're moving to America. I'm going to head over there for six months, save up money and then send for you. There was no like, what do you girls think about moving to America? There was like, I'm moving to America. And so they came to visit them and like save up money. And then they just fucking, and then they couldn't.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Your parents came to visit your grandpa and save up money? And then they just stayed in Baltimore.

• 37:15Stavros Halkias?

  In Baltimore.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Greek community in Baltimore?

• 37:17Stavros Halkias?

  There was a Greek community in Baltimore, although the funny thing is my.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  A lot of Greek people in Australia, I noticed.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Melbourne, second most Greeks outside of Greece.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:23Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, great Greek food. I've said it before.

• 37:26Speaker 04

  Killer.

• 37:27Stavros Halkias?

  Stalactites.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Can you speak Greek?

• 37:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  Can you read the alphabet?

• 37:30Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm. I can read, I can read like a fucking child. You know what I mean? Like if I had to read it.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  Fully fluent.

• 37:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, fluent.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 37:37Stavros Halkias?

  But it's like, but it's like, when I start rolling and I really wanna communicate shit, it's a little annoying, cuz it's like, you know, I fucking talk for a living.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I have like a, I have to translate and it takes forever, but.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  But you got Uzo at the house.

• 37:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we got, well, not here, we gotta restock, we just moved in, but yeah. Growing up, absolutely, I mean, totally, and if, if in Greece.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  The fucking little leaf with the rice in it.

• 38:01Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, dolmas. I'll fuck up a dolma for sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and, and so there, but yeah, they, they.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  Greece was fun, I had fun in Greece.

• 38:12Stavros Halkias?

  Where'd you go, what'd you do?

• 38:13Speaker 04

  I did, I went to Athens and I went to Melos.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Melos, great, yeah, great island.

• 38:17Speaker 04

  I went to Bekanos, but that's not my, that's not really my cup of tea, I was just like, uh, observed and, and left, that's not.

• 38:24Stavros Halkias?

  Lot of sheiks.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  It was just too.

• 38:26Stavros Halkias?

  Smoking five hundred dollar hookah and shit like that.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that wasn't for me.

• 38:29Stavros Halkias?

  Lot of sex trafficking.

• 38:30Speaker 04

  Oh, god, really? I didn't notice that, it seemed more like.

• 38:34Stavros Halkias?

  High end sex trafficking.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  Like, eh, Euro Burning Man kinda like house music.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's super rich people, it's just become completely over the top rich people, and when I say sex traffic, I mean like, you know, millionaires paying like.

• 38:47Speaker 04

  Sugar, sugar babies.

• 38:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sugar baby, sugar baby sex trafficking.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:52Stavros Halkias?

  That type of stuff.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  A guy with a yacht, some like fucking.

• 38:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, oil baron troll with a yacht and a fucking sugar baby.

• 38:59Stavros Halkias?

  Rock, paper, scissors, who has to suck his dick?

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, damn it, alright. Keep losing, he's like, I don't care.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  Man, people wanna be on a boat that fucking bad, I mean, I like a boat.

• 39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Truly, boats are not that, I, I thought about that recently.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  But I'm not gonna suck an old man's dick for a goddamn boat ride.

• 39:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's not worth it.

• 39:17Speaker 04

  God damn, you really wanna be on that boat.

• 39:19Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe once, maybe you suck him by once and then you're like, alright, this wasn't worth it, and you have to learn, but when you real, you love a boat that much.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:27Stavros Halkias?

  Go to the beach.

• 39:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:28Stavros Halkias?

  The beach is so much better, and that's, the Greece I like is like. The non-tourist islands where it's like.

• 39:35Speaker 04

  What are the non- that's what I that's what I'd wanna go to.

• 39:37Stavros Halkias?

  You just, I mean, you just wanna.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  But it's fucking like rust, even Milos is like rustic.

• 39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, Milos is good. That's a pretty good one. And it's just kinda like the further you wanna get from there, the ones that are like less. Like the anything in that island chain, the Quicadas, the Cyclades or whatever, they're gonna be pretty touristy, but like if you go to like Andipar, like there's Barros, there's Andiparos, there's like, um. I like Noxos, it's the biggest one. It's like the capital, but it's like not as crazy as like, you just don't wanna go to Miko, you don't wanna go to fucking Santorini, basically.

• 40:08Speaker 04

  No.

• 40:09Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's like from there, you wanna try some shit on the other side, you know, go to like Icarial, that kind of, it's like.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  Send me to, get me out of all that shit. And I wanna do fucking former Yugoslavia shit, Montenegro, all that shit.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  I kinda wanna go to.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  Croatia.

• 40:22Stavros Halkias?

  Croatia's looks awesome.

• 40:23Speaker 04

  I wanna stay at a lighthouse in Croatia. It's my type of life I'm trying to live. When are you going to Greece next? We'll go, we'll film some shit.

• 40:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  I'm trying to do a new show where I just film fucking.

• 40:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's smart.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Anthony Bourdain meets, you know, Hunter and Samson.

• 40:37Stavros Halkias?

  You would actually be great at that, cuz you actually do do that shit.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  I pitched it all over town, HBO pass, Netflix pass, everybody pass, I'm just gonna do the YouTube. I'll be the Mr. Beast with no budget. Shoestring, one dollar, ninety-nine cent, Mr. Beast.

• 40:50Stavros Halkias?

  It'll do well, though. It will do well.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  Hopefully, once I get on Rumble or Ramble or whatever.

• 40:55Stavros Halkias?

  Get on Rumble.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Say the N-word every episode.

• 40:57Stavros Halkias?

  Get whatever, whatever type of person is considered the lowest to fight each other. Do bum fights in each country. Find whatever their N-word is, and then make them fight, and then you'll be the number one travel show on Rumble.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  Another Andrew Tate production.

• 41:16Stavros Halkias?

  The top motherfucking G.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  The theme song is Howl Hitler by Kanye West.

• 41:22Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, you'll do numbers, smart. That right word, that right pivot, you get mad, no one picked up, no one picked up your travel show, you go fucking right, that would be so funny. Dude, the other black guy, the other like, the black dudes who just go right, cuz they can't get a mainstream entertainment crew, would be so pissed to see you coming. Like, fuck, a real entertainer has decided to go right? Well, there goes my whole bullshit.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  I moved to Austin for this fucking shit.

• 41:51Stavros Halkias?

  I was trying to be Gutfeld's token black guy. Andre just fucking took the whole thing. You do fucking conservative Eric Andre show?

• 42:04Stavros Halkias?

  That would be awesome. You inject trans people with the wrong.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Zins with Tucker Carlson?

• 42:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you surprised.

• 42:14Speaker 04

  What happened to men in America? He's like Jiminy Glick, Tucker Carlson. What, what, what, what happened to men in America?

• 42:21Stavros Halkias?

  Jiminy Glick shit. I would love Jiminy Glick V Tucker.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 42:25Stavros Halkias?

  That would be a nice combo. That would be a nice combo. You surprised Kyle Rittenhouse with a guy with a gun? He's like, huh. You do Eric Andre show style pranks?

• 42:35Speaker 04

  I think.

• 42:35Stavros Halkias?

  On conservative figures?

• 42:36Speaker 04

  This is what I've been saying. I think the judge in Luigi's sentencing should be like, if you can hunt, find and kill Kyle Rittenhouse, you're off scot-free. Other than that, electric chair.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  Like the right wing shooter versus the left wing shooter?

• 42:50Stavros Halkias?

  That would be fun. That would be fun.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  Rittenhouse versus Luigi? Somebody's gotta like, Trump's gotta pardon Luigi so that he can have a rumble in the jungle.

• 43:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hunger Games.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Total Hunger Games. They just, they have, they have GPS trackers that can track each other and they have to hunt each other down whoever wins.

• 43:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 43:08Speaker 04

  That gets to be the next two presidents.

• 43:10Stavros Halkias?

  Then you get to be vice president. Yeah, I like that. It would be cool if they gave Luigi some kind of like, listen. Yeah, some task like you have to kill like 10 more CEOs or something. And if you, if you don't get all 10, you're going to jail. If you get all 10, you win. You know what I mean? You win. I would like to see him get a couple of the, you know, something like that going.

• 43:31Speaker 04

  I think that's the plot of Die Hard with a Vengeance.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  You know when they played, growing up? When they played Die Hard with a Vengeance on TV, they changed Bruce Willis's sandwich word to, I hate everybody. And Samuel Jackson's like, oh, hell no. I see a dead man. There's only humanitarians up in Harlem.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  You hate everybody. No misanthropes up in here.

• 44:00Stavros Halkias?

  We are humanists.

• 44:03Stavros Halkias?

  Us black criminals in the 90s are humanists.

• 44:09Speaker 04

  I hate everybody.

• 44:10Stavros Halkias?

  I know, that's.

• 44:11Speaker 04

  You be Kanye, Mr. Falcon.

• 44:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Some of the best, some of the best fucking editing. That's a lost art.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  That is a lost art, the made for TV edit.

• 44:20Stavros Halkias?

  The made for TV edit.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  Totally a lost art.

• 44:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  That is true. I would look forward to like, how the fuck are they gonna make this Two Live Crew song work?

• 44:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  Oh, me so hungry. It'd be like Weird Al.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  Me hungry, long time.

• 44:36Stavros Halkias?

  Me feed you long time.

• 44:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, me so hungry. Dude, we actually got ourselves a Weird Al hit on our hands.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  Sherry go Weird Al.

• 44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Me so hungry. Me feed you long time.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  Weird Al, we're trying to kick off our rumble channel and we got a pitch for you.

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  Or that could just be the commercial for our Vietnamese restaurant. Me so hungry.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  That's gotta exist. There has to be some little shack in Houston.

• 45:03Stavros Halkias?

  Me so hungry, please?

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Me so hungry.

• 45:06Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, man. It might be just stupid and racist enough to not exist.

• 45:11Stavros Halkias?

  And what do we got? Oh, what a surprise. Elders cannot work the board.

• 45:15Speaker 05

  I see a place called Me So Hungry Two in San Francisco.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  Oh, the sequel. He thought the first was good. Get ready for the sequel. Such a good pun. They skipped right ahead.

• 45:23Stavros Halkias?

  I stand corrected, Eric. Your instincts were better than mine. It doesn't already exist.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  Me So Hungry Two, Electric Boogaloo.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  D minus health reading.

• 45:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But good stuff. Great names. Great names.

• 45:37Speaker 07

  Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored, catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments. With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen. You can listen to Jeff Lewis live at home or anywhere you are. Download the Sirius XM app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more. Subscribe now and get three months free. Offer details apply.

• 46:07Speaker 07

  If your child lives with type one diabetes, a low blood sugar is hard enough without trying to convince them to eat another

• 46:13Stavros Halkias?

  Chalky glucose tablet. That's where Glow Gummies come in. Delicious glucose gummies made with fast acting dextrose to raise blood sugar quickly. In a soft gummy they'll actually want to eat. They're vegan, gluten free, dye free, don't melt or stick to teeth and taste just as good as candy. Head to GlowGummies.com, that's G L O W Gummies dot com and use code PODCAST20 for 20% off. What would be?

• 46:38Speaker 04

  So what's going on? You're single now? You're dating? What's, how's your love life?

• 46:41Stavros Halkias?

  I'm single dude. I'm single. I got this fucked up back like Luigi.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  You gonna settle down soon? Cause I know, I know you're a bit of a playa playa. You got the ladies of the eighties waiting in the White Castle.

• 46:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Sarah Squam goes, Stabby gets laid with hotties. I was like, I believe it. He's swagged out. It's funny. He's fucking hilarious.

• 47:00Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, dude, I hurt my back. I don't know. I might need a wife to take care of me. Yeah, for real. I'm monkly. I'm in, I'm not, I.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  You're in a monastic.

• 47:07Stavros Halkias?

  I'm monastic due to an injury. Although I did fuck.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  How long ago was your back fucked up?

• 47:12Stavros Halkias?

  For like two weeks, dude.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  Oh, that stinks.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Three weeks. Like, it's like been a while. So I'm going to the doctor to get my, I'm going to get some like steroid injections to take the swelling down or some shit. But it is hard. It's the exact motion you use to fuck, you know?

• 47:27Speaker 04

  You got ibuprofen?

• 47:28Stavros Halkias?

  I'm crushing ibuprofen.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  You doing hot bath, cold plunge, all this other?

• 47:32Stavros Halkias?

  I'm in the fucking, I'm doing my Epsom salt bath. I gotta heat pad right now. Dude, I'm about to fucking crack open Sarno like you wouldn't fucking believe. What about you, my friend? You also seem to be sucking fucking yourself.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  I suck at fuck.

• 47:46Stavros Halkias?

  You, you seem like a bachelor.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  I'm no, I'm no, you know, I'm not virgin.

• 47:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, I didn't think you were a virgin.

• 47:51Speaker 04

  I'm celibate.

• 47:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  Lenny Kravitz is practicing celibacy for all of us.

• 47:55Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. For every light skin guy?

• 47:57Speaker 04

  He said he's been celibate for nine years. I was like.

• 48:00Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 48:01Speaker 04

  Fucking way.

• 48:02Stavros Halkias?

  But can I say something though? Lenny Kravitz being celibate for nine years, he still averaged wise. If you average the last year pre celibacy in the last nine years, he's had a better decade than everyone.

• 48:13Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:14Stavros Halkias?

  In that one year, he, he got more pussy than anyone on earth.

• 48:17Speaker 04

  Anyone.

• 48:18Stavros Halkias?

  So his 10 year readout is still like insanely high, I would say.

• 48:22Speaker 04

  A hundred percent.

• 48:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that's gotta be a guy who's just OD'd.

• 48:26Speaker 04

  I think he OD'd. I think he became a sex addict.

• 48:28Stavros Halkias?

  Can you think of a guy who, like, it's almost like craft him in a lab?

• 48:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  To get to fuck the most.

• 48:33Speaker 04

  Have you seen his dad? Have you seen his dad?

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't seen his dad.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  Look at a picture of him and his parents. His mom's a beautiful black woman. His dad's like, hey, you want some potato go?

• 48:43Speaker 04

  Looks like if a California raisin was white.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  He's like, Lenny, Leonard, you forgot your Benadryl. You really. Shut up dad, I'm gonna be a hot black guy.

• 48:56Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying to be a hot black guy dad, oh my god. He looks like Alan Dershowitz.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, totally, for real. He's like, Lenny, excuse me, the music is a little too loud.

• 49:07Stavros Halkias?

  Could you stop getting pussy so loud, Leonard? I'm trying to get pussy from your beautiful black mother.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  Your rhythm is throwing me off. Your rhythm's too powerful.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  I suck at this gorgeous black woman and having children with me.

• 49:25Stavros Halkias?

  Leonard, stop, your stroke is distracting me. That's fucking, you really, with his dad, you really see where the name Lenny Kravitz comes from.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's like, you're like, Lenny Kravitz is Jewish? I go, yeah dude, his name is Lenny Kravitz.

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's not a slash thing where you can hide behind a cool name.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  It's Leonard Smolowicz Kravitz.

• 49:48Stavros Halkias?

  That is how hot he was though. It completely papered over being named Lenny Kravitz. Wow dude, think about.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Alan Dershowitz Kravitz.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  If we hit you with the Men in Black thing and we're like, draw Lenny Kravitz. You would never come up with Lenny Kravitz.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  You would end up drawing Stephen Miller.

• 50:06Stavros Halkias?

  You would be arrested for hate crimes. If you, if you wrote, if you drew the name, if you drew the face that your brain associates with Lenny Kravitz and it's actually the hottest guy of all time.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  I can't believe Stephen Miller is younger than me. Like, that guy looks like Mr. Burns. He's 39. I'm like, dude, you look like you're fucking 90, dude.

• 50:28Stavros Halkias?

  And he looks like his little bones. He looks like he could crack his wrist by fucking squeezing his hand too much. I feel like a baby could beat up Stephen Miller. Let's, look up how Mussolini died. Completely unrelated to what we just bleeped out, by the way. Just, it's just our history corner, it's just Stavon Eric's history corner right now.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Mussolini, they fucked up, right? They were like cutting off his dick and shit, right?

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  They literally dragged him through the streets and like hung him upside down.

• 50:58Stavros Halkias?

  The Italians were like, look, I'm, our bad. Look, we fucked him up, please, forget we were friends with Hitler.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  He wants to boss up Rima Vera.

• 51:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, Japan and Italy, their food's so good that it like wiped out our association with it.

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  The food, all the stuff they came up with, the vibes are so good.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  Japan was horrendous. They would rape women with knives.

• 51:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Like Chinese and Korean women, they would like do medical experiments, like shove like live eels in women's pussies and shit like Jigsaw from the Saw movie, human centipede shit.

• 51:30Stavros Halkias?

  And they put all that into their, uh, yeah. Into their food and their like animated pornography.

• 51:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  That you totally see that, that that's where it went.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 51:42Stavros Halkias?

  The like, uh, the octopus genre, you know, that all makes sense.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:47Stavros Halkias?

  They couldn't do it anymore.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  No, they were fucking fucked up. They would throw Filipino babies in the air, like catch them on ban outs and shit. And they would like, I met these like Australians like, oh yeah, my granddad like was trying to fight the Japanese and the Japanese soldiers would put them in a dog cage and poke them with knives all day. I was like, oh my god.

• 52:07Stavros Halkias?

  Strong rebrand for the Japanese, dude. Now you think of them as like gentle anime guys.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, hey, we're just into photography. It's like, nah dude, you were fucking gnarly, bro. You were fucking super gnarly.

• 52:21Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point, dude.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, they were fucked up.

• 52:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry Germans, fucking sausage and fucking Wiener schnitzels not good enough to get you out of it, man.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Not good enough to get out of the Nuremberg.

• 52:33Stavros Halkias?

  Ellis, why don't we take some fucking calls, buddy? You know, let's, uh, let's get some of Eric's wisdom.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  My friend, Kimmy, completely get locked out? Or did she give up?

• 52:40Speaker 05

  No, she should.

• 52:42Speaker 04

  She ain't smoking a cigarette for an hour.

• 52:43Stavros Halkias?

  I told her I could.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  I probably gotta go too.

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  You can check with her.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  How much more time do you need?

• 52:47Stavros Halkias?

  We do a couple, we do like, uh.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Take your time.

• 52:49Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we do some calls.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  I got a, um, a Zoom meeting with the CEO of Quibi and.

• 52:57Stavros Halkias?

  Gotta get turned down one more time for that fucking travel show?

• 53:01Speaker 04

  I'm putting my, uh, new standup special in an iPhone ratio, fucking.

• 53:07Stavros Halkias?

  Let's play a couple of calls here, little Elvis. Hey, Stabby, it's me, Lindsay. Um, I'm up to do anyway. Kind of his classic move. So, let me just like jump right in. What'd you get when you get Albanian producers? My husband is. Oh, he's unplugging shit. That's a bad sign. No, dude, now we hear us.

• 53:31Stavros Halkias?

  Why did you unplug? When does that ever work? Just play.

• 53:36Stavros Halkias?

  The theme song worked. You're embarrassing me in front of Eric.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 53:41Speaker 05

  I think we got it now.

• 53:42Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, go ahead, Eldis.

• 53:44Speaker 07

  Hey, Stabby, it's me, Lindsay. Um, I'm obsessed with you. Anyway, I need some help because, um, so, let me just like jump right in like we, uh, were talking last week. My husband is very into anal in like the, um, uh, misogynistic kinda way, which is fine because like I like being subjected. Um, but since having his child, uh, my ripped open to my and, um, I'm just like not really like into it anymore. Like every single time I just, uh, first of all, like it's a process. Like, uh, it's, I don't have time to like clean everything, wax everything,

• 54:29Speaker 07

  self-man everything. Like, I just don't have the time to put in the effort of being a hot porn star anymore. And like, I don't want to.

• 54:38Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you don't have to.

• 54:39Speaker 07

  Like, uh, how about, how about, how about heat me out? Like, you're one. Um, anyway, so like why I'm asking for advice is because like I said, I have a child and I'm married. So I don't really like have an out.

• 54:56Stavros Halkias?

  An out?

• 54:57Speaker 07

  This sounds so dramatic.

• 54:58Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 54:59Speaker 07

  This is like way harder to do than, um,

• 55:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's what we need to call the police.

• 55:01Speaker 07

  I thought it was going to be. Um, anyway, yeah, I just like, I, I, I don't really, like, he's just on the wrong side of porn. Um, and I don't really, like, I'm just not really into it. And I've tried having a conversation, but like, uh, my communication skills are, are pretty poor. Uh, I blame my Staten Island Jewish mom and my Long Island, uh, father. So when I try to communicate like, hey, uh, this literally isn't for me. Um, what comes out is, what are you fucking gay? And I, I, you know, like,

• 55:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, it doesn't.

• 55:33Speaker 07

  Do I mean it? Yeah, yeah, I do. So I, I don't really know, uh, where.

• 55:37Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, hold on.

• 55:38Speaker 04

  Wait, what's the premise of this podcast?

• 55:43Speaker 04

  Where the fuck did that go from?

• 55:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome.

• 55:47Speaker 04

  What's that psychopath?

• 55:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome because she was like 100% completely in the right.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:52Stavros Halkias?

  And then she's like, what are you gay? And she's like, do I mean it? Sort of. It's like, okay, we'll, we'll let that, so we'll just pretend you didn't sneak that weird shit in there.

• 56:02Speaker 04

  What advice was she looking for?

• 56:03Stavros Halkias?

  So basically, this comes down to, her husband wants to fuck her ass all the time. And she does not really want that to happen.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  So go no.

• 56:12Stavros Halkias?

  So.

• 56:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, what is it?

• 56:15Speaker 07

  Well, from here, but um, his idea is to just boycott sex entirely. So um, I'm gone like nine months dry because I won't stick it up my ass.

• 56:26Speaker 04

  This sounds like a relationship riddled with problems.

• 56:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. What, what do we think?

• 56:31Speaker 04

  What do we think?

• 56:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're doomed. You should have never had a child with this guy.

• 56:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, why are you dating this guy?

• 56:37Stavros Halkias?

  Married and has a kid.

• 56:38Speaker 04

  What's the compatibility? Why are you calling us to give you advice?

• 56:44Speaker 04

  Anyone on earth you should go to before. There's seven billion people on earth. We're like the last two out of the whole seven billion list.

• 56:53Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is a tough one because, yeah, I mean, you clear, first of all, don't, it's like your communication issues aren't the problem if your husband won't have sex with you at all unless he gets to fuck your ass. That's wild.

• 57:08Speaker 04

  That's wild.

• 57:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's a cra- it's one thing to be like.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  Also, like, he's gotta find somebody that, that is cool with that. That's like his fucking line in the sand.

• 57:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, also, it's like, she's like in the misogynistic way. You clearly have problems in this relationship. I mean, you have crazy issues here.

• 57:24Speaker 04

  Why are you bringing a kid into that situation?

• 57:25Stavros Halkias?

  And the kid is tough, but it's here now, so we're not gonna, we're not, you know, whatever, the kid's here.

• 57:33Speaker 04

  Unless you wanna do like a Casey Anthony fucking.

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Maybe frame him for the murder of your child. No, don't kill any children.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  No, don't kill kids, don't kill kids.

• 57:43Stavros Halkias?

  Don't kill any kids or people at all, I guess, but. Uh, yeah, I mean, listen, this is bizarre. And you're like, he won't fuck, like, he just won't have any sexual contact? You should go to couples counseling, I guess, because this is insane.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:57Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I have never even-

• 57:58Speaker 04

  I would start with that.

• 57:59Stavros Halkias?

  I've never, I can't even, it'd be one thing if he's, first of all, he, it sounds like he doesn't eat her out. Because she, she, she very frustratingly was like, how about you eat me out for once? Like, for once? He fucks your ass, he doesn't eat your pussy?

• 58:11Speaker 04

  And the-

• 58:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts!

• 58:12Speaker 04

  And then, um, he's gay.

• 58:15Stavros Halkias?

  And then the gay, that's, you might have something to work on. But also-

• 58:19Speaker 04

  Sounds like a whole bucket of syrup you fucking jumped into.

• 58:21Stavros Halkias?

  But also, I, yeah, I do think that, like, the, the one scenario where I would, I, I sort of, she's been driven into ho- homophobic insanity because he won't fuck her anything but her ass? And it's like, she's not right, but I also kind of see where she's coming from. Where it's like, what do you mean he just boycotts sex if he does, if he can't have anal? You got a lot of problems, sister.

• 58:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  And you and this guy-

• 58:50Speaker 04

  Sounds like therapy, couples therapy, a lot of that's in your future.

• 58:53Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta talk to a sexual therapist something, because his shit's out of control. And also, you have a kid, it's been a year, she said, is that right?

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Nine months.

• 59:01Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, dude, the fact that you're even talking about this, it's like so tough for the mom when the baby's that fucking, that young, it's like all over, it's like, I feel like the mom gets the brunt of everything when the kid is a year and under. So it's like, if anything, your husband should be really deferential to you. And if he's like, hmm, I can't have anal, well, I'm not gonna have a sex with you at all. It's like, that's a real problem, that's a real issue. And you need to work on-

• 59:29Speaker 04

  Is that what this podcast is about?

• 59:31Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, it's not normally like that, not, well, sometimes it is, I'm not gonna lie to you. We, yeah, it's not the anal show, they're not, every, we take five more calls, they're all about getting fucked in the ass? No. But this woman clearly, this woman clearly has her own issues too. She has like, uh, you know, it's like, you gotta be, you've allowed yourself to get gaslit into thinking this is normal and that you have a communication issues and you're bringing up your Long Island and Staten Island upbringing. It's like, that has nothing to do with your husband. Like, take, take the anal out of it. If your partner was like, "I will only do one sex act and I will do nothing for you. You must do exactly what I say." That's insane. No matter what

• 1:00:14Stavros Halkias?

  that act is, right? And let's, and now when you throw in the fact that it's, you know,

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  That's not really a partnership. Let's use like a dictatorship or something.

• 1:00:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. This is sexual dictatorship here. And maybe, my guess is that, that goes to the rest of your relationship too. So, take a real serious appraisal of what the fuck's going on, sister. You already have a kid. The kid's here. Don't do it. Don't go Casey Anthony or anything. Don't do that. But, your relationship, maybe do, maybe do drown your relationship in a bathtub.

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  Don't let him Natalie Wood you.

• 1:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right. Absolutely. We're rooting for you and you believe in yourself a little more and go to therapy if you don't already.

• 1:00:56Speaker 05

  Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored. Catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments. With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen. You can listen to Jeff Lewis live at home or anywhere you are. Download the Sirius Text them app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more. Subscribe now and get three months free. Offer details apply.

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  If your child lives with type 1 diabetes, a low blood sugar is hard enough without

• 1:01:31Stavros Halkias?

  trying to convince them to eat another chalky glucose tablet. That's where Glow Gummies come in. Delicious glucose gummies made with fast-acting dextrose to raise blood sugar quickly. In a soft gummy they'll actually want to eat. They're vegan, gluten-free, dye-free, don't melt or stick to teeth, and taste just as good as candy. Head to glowgummies.com, that's G-L-O-W gummies dot com, and use code PODCAST20 for 20% off. Let's do some more calls here. I just gotta fucking get to a sushi elders. Dobby, esteemed guest. Um, I am 38 years old. I live in the woods of Colorado.

• 1:02:10Stavros Halkias?

  It used to be a cool like off grid spot, two acres. Uh, but lately a lot of RV people moving in like running generators, dog parks.

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  RV.

• 1:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  Piece of shit people. Like off grid, it's a big, you know, YouTube thing, uh, but I'm actually living it. And so it's this place that used to feel like the wilderness now feels like I built my own prison in a shitty RV park in a shitty neighborhood.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  That sucks.

• 1:02:39Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, it used to be like my freedom, um, you know, paying 500 bucks a year in rent, they are property taxes. So if you had a good amount of money in the bank and you were kind of living off grid, do have a girlfriend, um, who's down to, you know, shit in a bucket and stuff.

• 1:03:00Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:03:00Stavros Halkias?

  But if you had some money, but you were living off grid, you're kind of just working some nonprofit job in a small town in Colorado.

• 1:03:09Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, and you just get mad now that all these RV generator people have moved up here. What would you do? Would you leave? Would you follow some dream?

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Colorado's a massive state.

• 1:03:19Stavros Halkias?

  What is the, uh, Stavi baby perspectives? Thank you all.

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  I never shit in a bucket. I need a bidet in fact.

• 1:03:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  I need a robot to lick my ass clean.

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  I'm the same.

• 1:03:31Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gone from that, but I see where he's coming from. This guy's a, this guy, if I were a guy who loved the outdoors, right? I mean, yeah.

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  It's like, I mean, he's in an expansive, massive state and like, uh, you could go to Wyoming.

• 1:03:45Stavros Halkias?

  Push out. Yeah, exactly.

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  Just like fucking pick up. It sounds like he lives pretty minimally and, and rustic.

• 1:03:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're gonna have to, these guys found your little fucking, your little niche. You're gonna have to move out.

• 1:03:57Speaker 04

  Go anywhere into the Rockies and it seems like you'll be happy.

• 1:04:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if you got the cash, cause it sounded like he's, I thought he was gonna tell us he's trapped there, but he's not.

• 1:04:05Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:04:06Stavros Halkias?

  He says he can move, his girlfriend will shit in a bucket.

• 1:04:07Speaker 04

  Girl runs cool. She's shitting in buckets. He can work online or whatever.

• 1:04:11Stavros Halkias?

  And is he also in a van?

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  Your demographics, living in vans, shit in buckets, torturous relationships.

• 1:04:20Stavros Halkias?

  I'm getting sexually coerced by my husband and I live in a van, but I'm superior to the other guys that live in a van. That's the thing. It's like, I thought he lived in a cabin and all these van guys moved in. You're also a van guy? You're just mad they're also living exactly like you? Just fucking drive further. What the fuck are we talking about?

• 1:04:40Speaker 04

  Turn to the end, just step on the gas, dude. Drive 20 minutes in any direction.

• 1:04:45Stavros Halkias?

  Is he in a van?

• 1:04:46Speaker 05

  I don't think he's specified, but you know.

• 1:04:47Stavros Halkias?

  Well, listen, either way, pick up and move.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Get a van.

• 1:04:50Stavros Halkias?

  Our good buddy, Saxon cameraman extraordinaire, he lives out in, uh, up in like, I don't, we don't want to dox, he's probably already said it, but whatever. He lives in the state of, uh, kind of near where our former bus driver lives as well. Uh, actually bleep that out. He's a, the man loves his privacy. Uh, but, uh, yeah, dude, anywhere, just fucking pick up and move. You actually have no problem here, especially if you live in a van. So pick a place that's a little off the beaten path. Don't go to some van life type shit. Don't look up the hashtags and fucking follow that shit. You seem like you like being in the fucking sticks. Live further in the sticks, dude. There's nothing, I would never do, like I said, I gotta be in

• 1:05:34Stavros Halkias?

  a fucking, I love being in New York City, baby. I love having a bidet. Uh, you know.

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  You know, some gabagool.

• 1:05:42Stavros Halkias?

  Gotta get my gabagool. I would be a beach guy. As a retirement, I would be a beach guy. That's what I got in my bones.

• 1:05:49Speaker 04

  Go to Milos.

• 1:05:49Stavros Halkias?

  I might. What about, what was you, where would you retire? You a beach guy as well?

• 1:05:53Speaker 04

  Oh God, Vietnam, man. I had the best time of my life in that country.

• 1:05:57Stavros Halkias?

  That makes sense.

• 1:05:58Speaker 04

  You go there, everybody's nice because they overthrew France and they overthrew the USA. They're fucking confident. They're like, we beat two imperial, two of the harshest, hardest imperialist powers. We overthrew you both. They're cool. Best food, beautiful women, great music. You get a little moped. You can order whippets from an old guy on a moped that just comes up with like a tang. Love cocktails. They got exotic fruit, the best coffee.

• 1:06:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  The best coffee.

• 1:06:28Stavros Halkias?

  The coffee is awesome.

• 1:06:29Speaker 04

  Funnest people. I just had a blast. It is just beautiful. I don't know.

• 1:06:32Stavros Halkias?

  Even the shit they took from the French, the bon me.

• 1:06:35Speaker 04

  The bon me, the egg cream coffees. Fuck, man.

• 1:06:39Stavros Halkias?

  Shit, man.

• 1:06:40Speaker 04

  It's just unbelievable there.

• 1:06:41Stavros Halkias?

  They got beaches?

• 1:06:42Speaker 04

  They got beaches. They got the fucking, you're out in the, the, you know.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  The jungle and shit?

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, in the jungle, you're eating the raccoon shit coffee. You're on the boat, you're in the how long bay.

• 1:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, I might have to check out.

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  It rules, Vietnam rules.

• 1:06:56Stavros Halkias?

  Again, being, I might have to be slightly less fat, slightly less Hawaiian shirts. I just feel like I'm a mark.

• 1:07:02Speaker 04

  Nah, they don't care. There's a bunch of expats there.

• 1:07:04Stavros Halkias?

  But I'll look, but see, the thing is, I'll either look like a, a mark or I'll look like a trick. Cause I look like a fat guy coming for sex tourism, which.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  Which you're not.

• 1:07:14Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not, nah. It's not, at the top of it, it's not, it's on the list. I wanna get pho, bon me, check out, go on a hike.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:23Stavros Halkias?

  But after that.

• 1:07:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:24Stavros Halkias?

  Four or five, couple bullet points down.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, not there.

• 1:07:28Speaker 04

  It's not, nah, man.

• 1:07:30Stavros Halkias?

  I'm getting a couples massage.

• 1:07:33Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not stopping the guys, all I'm saying.

• 1:07:36Speaker 04

  Whether your girlfriend's in the other sheet over.

• 1:07:39Stavros Halkias?

  The sheet is crazy, dude. The sheet is nuts. I can't even imagine like your eyes starting like.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, just get it over with, man.

• 1:07:49Stavros Halkias?

  Quick.

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  It's like, get it out of me. Can't think straight.

• 1:07:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:07:55Speaker 04

  Get the poison out.

• 1:07:56Stavros Halkias?

  We'll do a couple more. You know, we gotta, we gotta help the people here, Eric.

• 1:07:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, I get it.

• 1:07:59Stavros Halkias?

  Give me, give me just a couple more.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, Stevie, Elvis, I guess I'm dealing with a problem you've kind of alluded to before in some of your material. I was 21 and met this great woman who helped build me into a much better guy. She was super supportive in building my, my career, my, my fitness, kind of like, you know, every part of me improved while we were dating. Uh, we dated for six years and then I got it in my head that I could do better for some reason and.

• 1:08:38Stavros Halkias?

  Tough.

• 1:08:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wouldn't commit to marriage or anything. I broke off the relationship. It's been about a year since then. I've dated a couple times, uh, and.

• 1:08:47Speaker 05

  I am still struggling to get over that relationship. I've accepted that it's done. I fucked it up, but it's becoming harder and harder to properly let go of it. And it's causing issues in my new relationships. Yeah, she's been on this huge journey of ruin since we broke up. She lost all this weight.

• 1:09:13Stavros Halkias?

  Why do you know that?

• 1:09:15Speaker 05

  She's like in ads on TV locally around here now.

• 1:09:17Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, she's doing ads for a fucking local dry cleaner? Holy fuck.

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  She's doing ads for herself. She's like, I'm hot.

• 1:09:26Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, I dropped thirty pounds. Dude, that's, okay, keep going, but this guy's so fucking cooked.

• 1:09:32Speaker 05

  Hard to mentally uh skate from the situation. Um, starting therapy over it this week. Looking forward to that.

• 1:09:40Stavros Halkias?

  This week?

• 1:09:41Speaker 05

  I was wondering if you had any advice.

• 1:09:43Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, man.

• 1:09:44Speaker 05

  Is this something you've tried to push on before?

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  I just swallowed the penicillin, but my fucking, my infection still hurts. Have a seat.

• 1:09:53Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, this is fucking nasty.

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  Wait, I missed the first person. What's his deal?

• 1:09:56Stavros Halkias?

  So this guy was in a relationship. The, she kinda helped him become a better guy, whatever, whatever.

• 1:10:02Speaker 05

  He was twenty-one.

• 1:10:03Stavros Halkias?

  He was twenty-one, you know, all this shit. And he thought he was too good for her. Breaks it off, and now he's regretting his decision. Or at least like, it's kinda the one that got away. He says he's still in a relationship. And the funniest part is.

• 1:10:18Speaker 05

  He's dating.

• 1:10:19Stavros Halkias?

  He's dating. But the funniest part is, he's like, uh, she's doing so much better now. She's in local, she's in local commercials. I mean, dude. First of all, she's doing fucking commercials for a fucking, for, yeah, a car wash in Des Moines.

• 1:10:33Speaker 05

  He says it later, he's from Oklahoma City.

• 1:10:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow, okay, so he sucks dick. So I get that. Brutal town. You ever been there?

• 1:10:41Speaker 04

  E brutal.

• 1:10:42Stavros Halkias?

  Brutal stuff. Brutal stuff.

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  I've played all over that state. It's just like flat and hot and weird and stuff.

• 1:10:47Stavros Halkias?

  Tulsa's probably better. I haven't been to Tulsa. Okay, see.

• 1:10:50Speaker 04

  I don't remember. I confuse all that, that like area.

• 1:10:54Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sorry to be such a coastal lead, but okay, see.

• 1:10:57Speaker 04

  No, I'm not even going. Like, it's just between the Rockies and Chicago, that fucking, that chamber of.

• 1:11:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like cornfields. That specific type of white trash. And it changed at every latitude point. You get a different flavor of like weird Midwest white trash. Um, okay dude, so look, first of all, you got. You shouldn't be keeping up with what she's doing. You shouldn't have a fucking Google alert for your ex.

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  No, that's weird.

• 1:11:23Stavros Halkias?

  Step one is that you're keeping tabs. That's a big fucking problem.

• 1:11:26Speaker 04

  There's also something in, in attachment theory about the phantom ex-girlfriend. If you have an avoidant attachment style and you're in a relationship and you're fawning and fantasizing about your ex.

• 1:11:36Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh.

• 1:11:37Speaker 04

  That's a way, it's a, it's a type of avoidance.

• 1:11:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm liking this. This might help me, actually.

• 1:11:41Speaker 04

  So, yeah, so a lot of people with avoidant attachment style, right? What'd you say, Kimmy? People with, guys with, well, maybe any gender with a avoidance. As a, you'll kind of fantasize about your ex. You'll forget all the shitty reasons. Like, why you guys broke up.

• 1:11:57Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  And you'll fantasize, oh, I should get out of my current relationship. I should get back with my ex. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's an avoidance.

• 1:12:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:12:06Speaker 04

  Behavior pattern.

• 1:12:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's probably what's going on here, but also, I think it is. This guy's fucking, it's also like, but I think you're right. He's like romanticizing some shit because he also knows it's impossible. So it's like, well, I'll never have this.

• 1:12:20Speaker 04

  And he had her and he got rid of her. You know, he, he called it off, so.

• 1:12:23Stavros Halkias?

  So you fucked up.

• 1:12:24Speaker 04

  You know, or maybe he didn't fuck up. Maybe he called it off for a reason. And now he's like, he's rewriting history in his mind because he's like, whatever, feeling avoided in his current relationship or something. I don't.

• 1:12:34Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Well, he said he started, he said he started, that's fine, dude. He said he started therapy.

• 1:12:39Speaker 04

  I thought I was just coming on to tell some dick jokes with my boy Stappy.

• 1:12:44Speaker 04

  We're gonna just rip farts and fucking eat cheeseburgers and shit. Fucking like giving secondhand therapy to some fucking Oklahoma freak.

• 1:12:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's the beauty of the show, man. The people, we need to help the people, Eric.

• 1:12:59Speaker 04

  Thought we were just gonna roll cigarettes and watch some fucking MMA and shit.

• 1:13:05Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, yeah, Elders has done some great producing. The first one was a crime. The second was a fucking real estate va, a van hobo, real estate problem. And the third call is like a guy pining after an ex. Yeah, dude, move on. You started therapy, you'll be all right. But yeah, you gotta, your brain, you're an idiot. Your brain is dumb and it's trying to. Stop you from enjoying the shit you have in your life now. Stop keeping tabs on our fucking local commercials.

• 1:13:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:33Stavros Halkias?

  All right? Either you blew it or you didn't, but it's over.

• 1:13:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, it gives a shit.

• 1:13:37Stavros Halkias?

  Move on, dude.

• 1:13:38Speaker 04

  Move on.

• 1:13:39Stavros Halkias?

  This is tough, though. This is provincial thinking.

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:41Stavros Halkias?

  When you live in a small ass town.

• 1:13:43Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Everything seems, like, honestly, move is really the answer.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  Move. Get it out of K C.

• 1:13:48Stavros Halkias?

  Starting you life, but he's not going to.

• 1:13:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:13:51Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, at least you got the thought. Shay Gildes Alexander, great player. Enjoy the Thunder. You know, you guys are gonna be a dynasty for, for years to come, it looks like. Even though you stole Seattle's team, you fucking redneck.

• 1:14:06Stavros Halkias?

  Give back the Sonics. Fuck you. I'm glad that bitch left you.

• 1:14:11Speaker 04

  We're doing this for Sean Kemp.

• 1:14:16Stavros Halkias?

  Sean Kemp, Sean hemp. Smoke his strand of weed.

• 1:14:21Stavros Halkias?

  Give us another one, little eldest. Let's see what you got now.

• 1:14:27Stavros Halkias?

  Any tragedy here?

• 1:14:30Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, let's see.

• 1:14:32Speaker 07

  Hey, stop. What's up? Um, so I have a question for you because I recently won a lawsuit and got like a nice chunk of change. Like, less than fifty thousand dollars, but more than ten thousand.

• 1:14:46Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:14:47Speaker 07

  And I tell my boyfriend about my finances and he said that he would love if I sponsored a trip to him for, to Brazil.

• 1:14:59Speaker 07

  Important context, he does have body image issues. He and I both kind of have like body dysmorphia type thing.

• 1:15:06Stavros Halkias?

  Body image issues?

• 1:15:08Speaker 07

  But I'm not a huge fan.

• 1:15:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's not a fucking cheat. He doesn't have ALS. He's not gonna take one last trip before he's confined to a wheelchair. He's got tits. What are we talking about? That's fucking nuts, dude. All right, let's finish. I'm sorry. That caught me by surprise.

• 1:15:22Speaker 04

  That caught me by surprise.

• 1:15:23Speaker 07

  Thing. Um, but I'm not a huge fan of plastic surgery. I've never had. Surgery, I don't plan on getting it, but he wants

• 1:15:30Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 1:15:31Speaker 07

  A one inch lift all around. And I don't

• 1:15:36Stavros Halkias?

  He's going to Brazil for

• 1:15:38Speaker 04

  Wait, she won a lawsuit and he's like, hey, babe, give me that money.

• 1:15:42Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta get my shit done. Holy fuck, this is crazy.

• 1:15:47Speaker 07

  Like, I didn't know what that meant at first, but then he just kept saying like, one inch, one inch.

• 1:15:53Stavros Halkias?

  Is he talking about his cock?

• 1:15:54Speaker 07

  I know that he would, keeps making jokes about like getting a BBL, but I think the BBL jokes are becoming a little too frequent to be jokes. And then the one inch lift all around, like he doesn't seem to really want to do like steroids, but I don't think plastic is a good alternative to that. And then he's like, whoa, one inch, like all around, like to his dick.

• 1:16:22Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:16:22Speaker 07

  And for me, it's just like, like his dick is perfect. Like it's good. And as Amelia Banks, like I remember a few years ago, she had tweeted about getting with a guy who like had a, had like a plastic extended dick, like he had the plastic surgery on his dick. And it's being so uncomfortable and awful that I'm like, one, like my boyfriend's dick is perfect the way it is. But two,

• 1:16:46Stavros Halkias?

  You're too supportive.

• 1:16:47Speaker 07

  I don't want a, like too big jaden piece of plastic going into my cooter. Um, that just sounds super uncomfortable. So I need your advice. Um, cause I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind investing in something that makes him happy.

• 1:17:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're fucking out of your mind?

• 1:17:05Speaker 07

  Money that I kind of got, not money that I had to work really hard for. I have, I have no problem with that. Um,

• 1:17:12Stavros Halkias?

  Body image issues.

• 1:17:13Speaker 07

  But I'm worried about where the line between happiness and body image issues, you know, comes into play.

• 1:17:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:17:20Speaker 07

  So yeah, thank you so much for listening.

• 1:17:21Stavros Halkias?

  So much good shit here, actually.

• 1:17:23Speaker 04

  Okay. She won a lawsuit.

• 1:17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:26Speaker 04

  Less than 50,000, more than 10,000. Let's say it's 30 grand.

• 1:17:29Stavros Halkias?

  Let's say 30 grand. Not that much fucking money.

• 1:17:33Speaker 04

  She's gonna, her boyfriend was like, congrats, babe. You're gonna invest in that fucking whatever story you want to. He goes, oh, hell yeah. I'm gonna get my dick one inch bigger.

• 1:17:43Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, babe, that

• 1:17:44Speaker 04

  In Brazil.

• 1:17:45Stavros Halkias?

  That ice rink chopping off your toe was the best thing that ever happened to us. That Zamboni running over your fucking foot.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  The doctor's gonna do the same thing to my dick in Brazil.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  Ching.

• 1:17:59Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that this guy's, forget, listen, not to be, not to be Hollywood elites here, but that's not the kind of money where you can buy your boyfriend, plastic surgery and a trip to Brazil. That, all that money's gone.

• 1:18:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on to that money. I don't know what happened to get the money. Hold on to it. The boyfriend's scoop. It is not his money. It's your money, girl. And then he wants to go get like a facelift, a BBL, a bigger dick. He's like, random sketchy. Brazilian doctors just chopping him up. He's like, oh, hell yeah. Then he leaves her.

• 1:18:35Stavros Halkias?

  A full body, yeah, exactly. He wants a full body yassification on your dime and you think he's coming back fucking loyal?

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  Kanye West's mom died.

• 1:18:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. That is true.

• 1:18:46Speaker 04

  Remember she got like six.

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  He could go the way of Don the West.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  She's like, I'm gonna get my titties done, my lips, my ass.

• 1:18:52Stavros Halkias?

  In Mexico. Tough, tough look.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  And then her body was like cobloey.

• 1:18:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's a tough one. And that was one of many dominos that led us to.

• 1:19:02Speaker 04

  The new hit Heil Hitler.

• 1:19:04Stavros Halkias?

  The new song, taking, uh, taking rumble streamers by storm.

• 1:19:09Speaker 04

  Holy, Andrew Tate records.

• 1:19:11Stavros Halkias?

  So, okay, that, number one, this is an insane, that's not enough money. That's number one. Number two, this guy's selfish as fuck. His girl wins a lawsuit and he wants his dreams to come true. And third, his dreams are pathetic. He's a fucking weird bitch, if you ask me, dude. I, I, I hate to be like, I hate to go into classic, like masculine, feminine shit. And listen, but you know, if this guy wanted hair plugs, maybe it'd be a little different. If he wanted like, what, like, but like, to want a full, they don't, she doesn't sound that old. It's not like he's a, it's not like he had a, a, he's a burn victim. And he's like, I've never gotten my confidence back since the accident. I'd love an expensive skin graft. He's just a pudgy fucking loser.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  He's just like a flubby guy.

• 1:19:57Stavros Halkias?

  She even says do steroids. She threw out steroids. She's cool with him getting yoked. But he's like, no, I want to, I want to go under the knife? I don't respect this man at all.

• 1:20:08Speaker 04

  I gotta see a picture of this guy.

• 1:20:10Stavros Halkias?

  Offer him, I will say.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  We gotta get a picture of this guy. We gotta talk.

• 1:20:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, we need a picture and I would say offer him steroids. And that way he can, he can earn his salvation through the iron paradise. You buy him steroids.

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  So his girlfriend's like, your dick is fine. It's not like she's got, oh, you got a little penis or fucking, you know.

• 1:20:26Stavros Halkias?

  What's this about? If it's not, if his girl is happy with his dick. And then the final piece is if there was a cock lengthening surgery that worked, we would know about it. This would not be.

• 1:20:39Speaker 04

  We would be at cock lengthening.

• 1:20:41Stavros Halkias?

  This would not be a secret.

• 1:20:42Speaker 04

  We'd be at the cock lengthening Mayo Clinic right now.

• 1:20:44Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. I'd have a punch card.

• 1:20:46Speaker 04

  With their dogs on the floor.

• 1:20:47Stavros Halkias?

  I'd be getting my shit and we've tuned up every fucking nine months, dude. There's no way this.

• 1:20:52Speaker 04

  And then that big whale cock that looks like a fucking silly straw going up. Fuck it.

• 1:20:58Stavros Halkias?

  This, this is fucking insane. What is going on in your life to our caller? Were you would even entertain this? That's the problem here. You have some serious self-esteem issues. You're getting gaslit to oblivion by this fucking guy. And you gotta, what do you want to do with the money? What the fuck do you want to do with the money? Does that ever come up once?

• 1:21:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, why don't you do what you want to do with your money?

• 1:21:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what?

• 1:21:23Speaker 04

  That's yours, not his.

• 1:21:24Stavros Halkias?

  We could not be more anti this plan.

• 1:21:27Speaker 05

  That didn't come up and in fact she was like, well, it's not money I really earned. I just got it through a lawsuit, so.

• 1:21:32Stavros Halkias?

  Are you fucking kidding me?

• 1:21:34Speaker 04

  You didn't hear that at all.

• 1:21:35Stavros Halkias?

  That is all we needed to hear. This is a person that has a hard time accepting anything good. She has low self-esteem and she's probably in a relationship dynamic where the guy gets to fucking walk all over all the time. We're here to tell you, stand up for yourself, sister. This guy's a fucking dork, number one. Okay, he wants to get a fucking Brazil, he wants to get a lift? Come on, dude. We believe in you. You're saying his dick's perfect. Actually, this might be the one time I'm with him. His dick probably does suck and you probably gas him up too much. Cause you seem like a nice person. I would say from this even being a conversation, I don't want to call my shot and be like, "Leave him," but I feel like this might be as doomed as the sexual coercion, anal husband.

• 1:22:20Speaker 04

  Doesn't sound great. Doesn't sound perfect.

• 1:22:21Stavros Halkias?

  He's immediately asked, imagine you're dating someone and you immediately ask for most of her money?

• 1:22:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's weird.

• 1:22:27Stavros Halkias?

  You're dating someone.

• 1:22:28Speaker 04

  That's weird. Also, you're the guy, like you, you.

• 1:22:31Stavros Halkias?

  I know, there's a little bit, and maybe we're.

• 1:22:33Speaker 04

  You're the guy, you gotta fucking provide the money.

• 1:22:35Stavros Halkias?

  And it wasn't even like, let me, listen, give me this seed money, I'll start a business and, and we'll feed our family off it.

• 1:22:42Speaker 04

  No, no, no, he's like, I'm just, I'm gay.

• 1:22:43Stavros Halkias?

  I need DSLs.

• 1:22:47Stavros Halkias?

  I need DSLs to maintain our heterosexual relationship. I mean, this sucks. This is crazy.

• 1:22:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's weird.

• 1:22:54Stavros Halkias?

  And she's so nice and like, uh, she's so nice and like, uh.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's getting taken advantage of.

• 1:22:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that's our read on the situation. So definitely don't give this guy your fucking money. Hopefully this call wasn't from October or some shit. When's it from, Eldis?

• 1:23:08Speaker 04

  9/11?

• 1:23:09Stavros Halkias?

  All right, that's not bad. This will come out in February. So hopefully you haven't done anything, hopefully that money's still tied up in red tape and this guy doesn't have fucking, you know,

• 1:23:17Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:23:17Stavros Halkias?

  filler already. He doesn't have fucking Sao, Sao Paulo filler in his fucking system already. Speaking of great movie, The Secret Agent, you see that?

• 1:23:26Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 1:23:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking good.

• 1:23:28Speaker 04

  All right, let's see.

• 1:23:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's really good. Check it out. Wagner Mora.

• 1:23:30Speaker 04

  Best respect.

• 1:23:32Stavros Halkias?

  All right, well, let's do, uh, let's do one more here, Eldis.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Give a, give us a, give us one to go out on. How we doing? Do we, do we hit the 120 mark? All right, give us one to go out on.

• 1:23:52Stavros Halkias?

  Eric's got rancid sashimi to get home to. He's got fucking room, room temperature fucking Toro to peel off his fucking doorstep. The juices are coming down.

• 1:24:06Stavros Halkias?

  All the neighborhood cats have come in through the fucking, have come in through the fire escape.

• 1:24:13Stavros Halkias?

  Play us one to go out on here, buddy boy.

• 1:24:17Speaker 07

  Hi, Stav. Hi, LD. Longtime fan of the pod here. I have some input in regard to a caller's dilemma that I actually feel like I've heard about more than once in the QA, Q and A section as well. Well, as in real life.

• 1:24:34Stavros Halkias?

  Great. Wonderful.

• 1:24:35Speaker 07

  And that is women or pussy havers that don't enjoy being eaten out.

• 1:24:41Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 1:24:42Speaker 07

  Saying it's just not for them, that it doesn't do anything for them. I just wanted to say, I came to terms with being one of these people until recently, a man changed my world.

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:24:56Speaker 07

  Comes to oral. I had to kind of surrender to it because I was stuck in that mindset and just had so many less than ideal pussy eating situations.

• 1:25:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. A lot of chomping going on.

• 1:25:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, I didn't believe this would be any different, but it is. I actually love being out by him and crave it and think about it frequently. So I guess this is just a PSA to the ladies out there that need to hear it.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  Salute to you, sister.

• 1:25:23Speaker 07

  Settle. Maybe you actually would enjoy it if your man was actually good at it.

• 1:25:28Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:25:29Speaker 07

  Good luck out there. Uh, anyway, love you guys.

• 1:25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Love you. Thank you. You heard it there. You heard it, gals. Decolonize your pussy. Open up your mind to getting your pussy. And that's coming from a lady who was once in your shoes. Cause we're pro everyone sucking and fucking on this podcast. We're pro getting sucked and sucking and eating and getting eaten out, et cetera. So we're happy to hear that. Keep, keep at it, gals. Uh, Eric, anything you'd like to plug on the way out?

• 1:26:02Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, I got a podcast bombing on iHeartRadio bombing with Eric Andre. Listen to my fucking pod, bro. I want you on it. You gotta come on it.

• 1:26:09Stavros Halkias?

  I'll be on for sure.

• 1:26:12Speaker 04

  Get your pussy eaten, get your butthole eaten. Get your dick hole eaten. That never gets eaten.

• 1:26:16Stavros Halkias?

  The hole never, the dick hole doesn't get a lot of play.

• 1:26:20Speaker 04

  Tiny tongue.

• 1:26:23Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone, everyone just skips right over the hole.

• 1:26:26Speaker 04

  Skips right over the dick hole. They're not even thinking about what I've been through.

• 1:26:30Stavros Halkias?

  Give it a little blow.

• 1:26:33Stavros Halkias?

  Blow right into that dick hole. Put your ear up to it like a fucking seashell. What noises does the dick hole make? Find out, find out. That's what Eric's plugging.

• 1:26:47Stavros Halkias?

  Listen to the pod, Eric, you're the man, dude. Thank you for doing it. And yeah, we're on tour, probably when this comes out. We might be on the bus when this comes out, Eldis.

• 1:26:56Speaker 04

  Did you just start touring? Are you in the thick of it or what?

• 1:26:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're in the, I did a whole leg last year and I'm gonna record a special in the spring.

• 1:27:05Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:27:05Stavros Halkias?

  So this kinda, this is like our last run to kinda tighten everything up. Come see us. It'll be, you'll be seeing me work on the finishing touches of this next special.

• 1:27:15Speaker 04

  Did you play New York already?

• 1:27:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, in fact, let's plug that one specifically, Radio City Music Hall.

• 1:27:21Speaker 04

  Oh, fuck yeah.

• 1:27:22Stavros Halkias?

  What is it, 28th, Eldis?

• 1:27:24Speaker 04

  Can I come?

• 1:27:25Stavros Halkias?

  God forbid you fucking know, you piece of shit. Yeah, of course, dude. I think we're gonna have a big party afterwards, too. I'm actually excited.

• 1:27:31Speaker 04

  Is that one of your last shows?

• 1:27:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty close. It's like the, it's kind of on its own and then I'll do like one more run right before I record in April.

• 1:27:40Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:27:41Stavros Halkias?

  But last time I did the Beacon. March 28th. I got it right. Last time I did the Beacon and it was awesome, but I just didn't celebrate at all. I was like, had to promote my special right after it. And like this time I want to actually, I'm trying to work on enjoying my life a little bit.

• 1:27:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:56Stavros Halkias?

  When I have a, it's a big one. It's a dream come true. I'm actually shocked my life is in a position that I can play Radio City Music Hall. I never would have fucking thought this was gonna happen, so we're gonna have a great time. Please come out.

• 1:28:08Speaker 04

  Very talented.

• 1:28:09Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, brother.

• 1:28:09Speaker 04

  And the last time I played the Beacon, I got naked and James Dolan called my AJ and I almost got banned from, I was doing like the Orpheum. No, no, like I was doing like one of his Boston venues next and they were like, if he does it again, I'm calling the police.

• 1:28:24Stavros Halkias?

  You can't show cock? Live theater?

• 1:28:27Speaker 04

  It was apparently, I think it was James Dolan, whoever owns.

• 1:28:29Stavros Halkias?

  They own, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, so I got it.

• 1:28:31Stavros Halkias?

  Because I, I mean, Mr. Dolan, I love what you're doing. Please keep Knicks tickets coming.

• 1:28:42Speaker 04

  No disrespect.

• 1:28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Good, this fucking louse.

• 1:28:44Speaker 04

  From a Knicks game.

• 1:28:45Stavros Halkias?

  I had no idea, Mr. Dolan. I would have never had him on if I knew he disrespected such a beautiful theater.

• 1:28:52Speaker 04

  Naked at the Knicks.

• 1:28:53Stavros Halkias?

  With his baby penis.

• 1:28:58Stavros Halkias?

  All right, that's gonna do it for us. We'll see you next time. Bye, guys.

• 1:29:13Speaker 05

  Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored, catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments. With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen. You can listen to Jeff Lewis live at home or anywhere you are. Download the SiriusXM app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more. Subscribe now and get three months free. Offer details apply.