#164 - Robby Hoffman

Robby Hoffman joins the pod to discuss her new special WAKE UP (out now on Netflix), trying to keep it cool but having no chill when she met Stav, growing up poor with nine siblings, what she ate the first time she broke kosher, pivoting from accounting to comedy, and much more. Robby and Stav help callers including a fisherman whose wife is self-conscious about how lame her job is compared to his, and a club promoter wondering what he should do with a $9 million inheritance that he has coming his way. Watch Robby Hoffman’s new special WAKE UP out now on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81978270 See Robby Hoffman live and follow her on social media: https://www.robbyhoffman.com/ https://www.instagram.com/robbyhoffman https://twitter.com/iAmRobbyHoffman https://www.facebook.com/robby.hoffman1 Thank you to our sponsors! Visible.com - promo code SWITCH26 ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, there it is. Welcome, everybody, to Stop His World 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We have on the couch Robbie Hoffman. Thanks for being here, Robbie.

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:12Stavros Halkias?

  Special.

• 1:12Speaker 03

  It's always, you walk in and it's like, I've been to so many, you see the guy getting ready.

• 1:19Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:20Speaker 03

  It's always like the producer of a podcast is shocked that they have to record a podcast.

• 1:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's like somebody woke Elvis up in the middle of the night. And it's like a Scared Straight program.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  But that's actually, that's actually how they do it everywhere. Like, actually, if they were just ready when you walked in, like, for some reason, I think the industry would fall apart. Like, they need to, they need us to watch them do their job.

• 1:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  Like, because if we, if we came in and it was already set up, we would think he did nothing.

• 1:48Stavros Halkias?

  We could do this.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  But because we saw him click, click, click, click.

• 1:50Stavros Halkias?

  Three buttons.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  He did that, he turned on a light, he put his own headphones on.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  There's a lot of disgusting stuff going on behind the cameras. You guys don't need to know anything about, you know?

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's the theater of performance for all this. And mind you, we did a podcast moments before you got here. So it's not like he had to set up anything, but it was that he had to refocus. I didn't change. Why did my camera need to be refocused?

• 2:15Speaker 03

  They just like to go, for those who don't know what's going on, there's a camera on a tripod, and what they do is they just... Do that.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  You do a little tinkering.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  They turn off and on again. And it all takes ten, twelve minutes.

• 2:27Stavros Halkias?

  It takes too long, absolutely.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  It takes, and you're just sitting here. We don't know each other.

• 2:31Stavros Halkias?

  We don't know each other.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Yes, we could get here, we could talk shit, we could talk smack, but we don't know each other like that. In fact, I've, this, and I haven't said this, I've been begging to get on your podcast.

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  There's no other podcast I wanted to, because I feel, and I'm so, I said, he'll never have me on because I think we had, we had a weird interaction.

• 2:51Stavros Halkias?

  Where was this?

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Because I'm always weird. I can't be chill if I like someone.

• 2:54Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember this, so that's good.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Oh, this is good.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  I have no chill. You know, people say like, no chill, like, just, you know, I've had friends all the time, like, you have to chill. I just, for some reason, I have no chill. And it's despite having no chill that I got here. It took me a lot longer than somebody who had no chill.

• 3:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  And I recognize I got in my own way in that.

• 3:12Stavros Halkias?

  You think so?

• 3:13Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, because...

• 3:13Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think you did, but what are you describing? When did we meet?

• 3:16Speaker 03

  I think because, um, Friedland's a good friend of mine, Adam.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, strike one.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, strike one. So exactly, strike one.

• 3:24Stavros Halkias?

  So that might be a problem, sure, sure, sure.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Okay, but then I met you somewhere. I really, really liked you, and I never tell anyone I like them or anything.

• 3:32Stavros Halkias?

  I appreciate that.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Because, because I'm trying to be chill.

• 3:33Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember, like, an awkward interaction. I remember, like, a brief meeting you.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Okay, tell me what you remember.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you know, because we meet...

• 3:40Speaker 03

  It didn't go well. I'll tell you, it didn't go well. I felt very, I felt I wasn't cool. Like, the thing is, is I'm like...

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  I straight up, and here's the other thing.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  I'm accidentally cool, like, I think I'm cool, but I'm not, not due to the way that I behave.

• 3:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, certainly not.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  It's like, because I would do the uncool thing where I'm like, Sub, you're, you're so funny.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I appreciate it. I would have appreciated that.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  And we just saw a movie with you, that you were in it, and between me and you, and it had big people in it, but you were the best part.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't the best part, but I appreciate it. Now you're overdoing it.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  No, I'm not overdoing it, but you see, this is the no chill.

• 4:11Stavros Halkias?

  I was two of the, we're talking about two of the best actors living were in this movie.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  But you were a really fun part of the movie.

• 4:18Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, I appreciate that.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  You know, and the movie you did, there's a lot of gratuitous, okay, of course, you, we want to see a woman begging, we want to see a woman... Okay, yeah, but you...

• 4:27Stavros Halkias?

  In any movie I see.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  You, and I'll say this, coming off the conversation of how annoying I feel around people sometimes, especially when I'm excited, your character was, I, I saw myself most in that character of all the characters. He's kind of staying around.

• 4:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hanging around, nobody wants him there.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  He's like, he wants to see, when I came in here, I'm like, you renting here? Like, this is your apartment? I'm that type of thing, so I just thought, I get in my head, you know how we make a narrative?

• 4:57Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  Like, this whole story happened that you're saying, yeah. And I'm saying, ah, man, you see, it's again, another time where I like somebody and I said, I shouldn't have said that I like them. Because the fellas, it goes right to the heads.

• 5:09Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Fellas don't like, apparently, guys?

• 5:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  You can't go up and you say you like them, like, they think that that's like, I don't know, like, they're too good immediately. I got a sense, but I knew you weren't like that. So this one, I knew I screwed up.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I don't, I think for me, it was more, like, if anybody is too effusive, I just don't know what to, I'm like,

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Exactly, they don't know what to do.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's not that I'm like, I like the compliment and I take it, but I'm just like, oh, cool, you know what I mean? Like, thanks.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  And then I go, you stupid to me, I'm like, why did you even say anything? You can't like people from afar. And this is probably how people who come up to me and say something.

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  You know, and maybe I didn't say the right thing back. I try and have empathy for myself in them, where they probably walk away and go, why did I say that to Robbie? Or, or something. By the way, if you had an interaction with me and you think it didn't, I forgive you.

• 5:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Give grace, you're doing the best you can. You saw Robby Hoffman, you got excited, I saw staff, I got excited, it happens.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  This is fully you saying this to yourself.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  It happens.

• 6:08Stavros Halkias?

  Over us meeting, which I don't remember going back.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  So I'm so happy, so I never go through, all of these things, they all happen through friends and stuff.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  I went through people.

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  I said, they said, is there anything for the special? Because Netflix has you going here, they have you going there. Is there anywhere you want to talk about your special with? I said, I'd love, I'd love to go on staff, but I don't think I had such an interaction. Where I gave him a compliment, by the way. By the way.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  Was I weird? Did I take the compliment weird?

• 6:35Speaker 03

  No, I think I was too. I have to take it to, I have a thing where I, again,

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  This is in LA, right?

• 6:41Speaker 03

  I'm cool in spite of having no chill. I am the only, one of the only people I know, cool in spite of having no chill. I just didn't even think about it. I saw you and I just didn't even think about it, like many people who probably see us on the street.

• 6:53Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Okay, first of all, some of you may take this from us and start to think about it. I've started to think about it. I don't just run up to everyone. And you should also start to think about it. However, if you do not think about it and you see me in the street and you come up and you had, it's fine.

• 7:08Stavros Halkias?

  Has that been happening?

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Trust me, it's, it's fine.

• 7:10Stavros Halkias?

  Have you been having weird interactions on the street?

• 7:11Speaker 03

  No, I don't think they're weird. That's why it's fine.

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think they're fine too.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  If you walk away and you think it was weird or I didn't like what you said to me or whatever, get that done. It's over.

• 7:19Stavros Halkias?

  I agree with you. I agree with you. The only way it can be bad is if you overstay.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  I've done that before.

• 7:25Stavros Halkias?

  If we have a nice like-

• 7:26Speaker 03

  I have done that before.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure, sure, sure. If we have a nice, especially when it's like, hey, nice to meet you, big fan, whatever. It's like, oh, thank you very much. I'll take a picture. I'll, I'll even chat for a little bit. But when there's that natural break.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Take the natural break, but you're learning. You're learning.

• 7:40Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta go somewhere. I'm, I'm usually, I'm always late. That's another thing. I'm always late. So I have a like worried, angry face at myself.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:50Stavros Halkias?

  If you see me in the street and I, I, I wonder sometimes if people think-

• 7:54Speaker 03

  No, I was embarrassed myself because it is where we're in this industry where we don't, we can be, you know, we're doing it, but we're also fans of each other's work sometimes.

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  From afar, or we meet through frenemies or whatever it is and it's an awkward thing. It's his enemy, my enemy and your enemy isn't my enemy.

• 8:10Stavros Halkias?

  Adam is not my frenemy.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  Okay? And, and, and so it's this awkward thing where, where we've gotten cool and jaded. We don't have to say, but some, sometimes once in a while, there's somebody with a little something that I really, I'm like, I actually really fuck with it.

• 8:23Stavros Halkias?

  You'd like to have an actual connection.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  And I do do it. I break my rule of like, whatever. Not that it's even a rule. I'm just, you're jaded naturally. We do this all the time.

• 8:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  But sometimes I get to feel that innocence again where I'm like, oh, I'm excited too. And it's just nice to, to lean in. So I'm glad that you've reassured me that it was nothing. Just like when people see me and they probably spiral. Did I say the right thing? Did I, I brought up, you know, this, that. Um, it's all good, baby, baby.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's what I, I agree. I fully agree.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  You know, it's funny that you're always late. I thought I would be late here because, because, you know.

• 8:55Stavros Halkias?

  You have a packed day, right?

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, a packed day, but also, you know, between the subway and, you know. But, so I said, well, you message him and say that we're running tight. I was on time.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  See, my on time, I think that's late.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  I know, yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  So that's how I operate. I'm like.

• 9:12Stavros Halkias?

  Have you always been, was that like a, were you maniacal about being on time?

• 9:16Speaker 03

  Well, my mother, my mother had such a reverence for anybody wealthy. Growing up, it's just like, we had a doctor appointment once a year for school.

• 9:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  You had to get like a clean bill of health, like a checkup. If the school didn't require it, we never would have been at the doctor. So thank God the school, like you have to.

• 9:33Stavros Halkias?

  What school is this? What kind of school? Just whatever, public school?

• 9:36Speaker 03

  I didn't go to a public school. I went to, no, I went to a Jewish private school, all-girls school, and then a regular Jewish school.

• 9:41Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  Public school.

• 9:43Stavros Halkias?

  Did you grow up in Canada? Where'd you grow up?

• 9:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm, well, I'm born in New York and then I grew up in Montreal.

• 9:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  So yeah, small Jewish school that required that you could do, you know, whatever, you can go to school.

• 9:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's good, because a private school, sometimes they will really, they'll eschew basic health stuff. So it's good they made you go to the doctor.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, this was a good school. I went to, this was like a really expensive school that we got subsidy to go on.

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, in Canada, right?

• 10:09Speaker 03

  In Canada, yeah, which by virtue, yes, it's a Jewish perk. I'll say that. I went to a good school, thank God. By the way, it's been exposed now, but I'll be the first to say I benefited from that and it was a fantastic education. And thank God it sent me to the doctor, but my mother would be there before the doctor was there. Like, we would take the bus. Because she didn't want to fuck up us going to the school. They're taking you at the school, this is the type of paperwork you need. We're not paying anything, you know?

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  You can't be someone who can afford a cab or a car. You have to take the bus.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, my mother also didn't have a license. We took, we, we, we took the bus, but no, but also she was gonna get the paperwork in, she was gonna get everything in. They're already taking us free. We don't need problems that she didn't get the medical or whatever else. So we get there and it's like literally seven in the morning, maybe our appointment's at nine. And like, and it's so cold in Montreal. You have to understand, it's like minus forty. The building isn't open, doctor's, it's not.

• 11:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  The building's not open. Yeah, we would see them opening the buildings, security coming, opening the, I'm like, mother, doctor's not here, like even, and she's like, I brought a book, you?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  And I remember she just had such a reverence at this as a doctor. Like even, we went to the checkup, it was me, I remember three of my brothers, I have a brother eight year older, a brother two years older, a brother three years older.

• 11:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  And we would all sit on the doctor's, is it the bed or the bench?

• 11:31Stavros Halkias?

  That weird little bench, yeah, that elevated bench with the wax paper.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  It's weird that it doesn't have its own...

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  It does not have a designation that I can think of.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Cause I know, I've heard of a cité or a chaise longue, they have fancy names for some of these.

• 11:44Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think it's a chaise, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Inter, is it a chair, is it a...

• 11:48Stavros Halkias?

  I think there was a moment where, there was, like historically couches, there were many different types of couches. People took couch taxonomy a lot more seriously back in the day, now I think everything's a couch. But that's a bed, let's say the doctor's bench.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Right, bench bed.

• 12:05Stavros Halkias?

  With the weird paper, right?

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, with the paper, so we're all on the paper in our underwear.

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  You know, everybody's like...

• 12:09Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone's lined up.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, everybody's like, you know, nine, 10, 11, 12, whatever, yeah, me and my brothers would go. I can't remember which, you know, she went, sometimes I went with other siblings, whoever she could take and get the forms done. And we're all sitting there and you had to get weighed and you do the knee thing and the doctor is a doll and he's so fun and...

• 12:26Stavros Halkias?

  What's he like, do you remember? I remember my, my PD, Dr. Solihy, shout out to him.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Uh, Dr. Rothstein, he actually got, um, we actually went to him, he was free, but he ended up getting Alzheimer's and we were actually still seeing him when he was, uh, but my mother really went to the end.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  The checkup every three times, back to back to back, he forgets he did it already?

• 12:48Speaker 03

  No, exactly, like he was already, my mother was like, he's really, but he's what we have and he'll sign the paper.

• 12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  So, but we went and I remember she was going down the line, the doctor was going down the line, my mother's like looking, the doctor was like, you know, gets to my brother, Shmuley was like, he, he's a hefty boy, uh, he, he, yeah, he's, he's doing good.

• 13:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's a cool name.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  He's doing good, healthy, I hope he has a wonderful school year, we'll see him next year. You know, they would get to my brother, Menachem, he's a little small, he's in the, they would give you a percentile, like, you know, he's a, you know, he's, he's a little, he's a little on the skinny side, nothing to worry about, he'd tell my mother, Connie, nothing to worry about, just the kind of thing, make sure he's finishing his plate, that sort of thing, get to me, risk off.

• 13:33Stavros Halkias?

  Don't let Shmuley have his dessert.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly, exactly, Shmuley, you know.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Rifka, she's looking, my given name, she's, she's looking average, she's looking good. Okay, kids, I'll see you next year. Have a, have a great year at school. The doctor would leave, my mother would be like, "Get dressed, get dressed." We're like getting dressed, and she would pull my brother Manachem's pants. Okay? "You don't weigh enough." Yelling at him like he has anything to do, he's eight years old, like he has anything to do with what he weighs. Embarrassing me in front of the doctor. Because she already felt bad, like we're on welfare, now she's starving us, like, we, you know, she prioritized food. My mother was always cooking, we always had a ton of food.

• 14:13Stavros Halkias?

  Well, how many siblings are we talking here?

• 14:15Speaker 03

  I have nine siblings.

• 14:16Stavros Halkias?

  Nine is nuts. So you're doing, you're doing the like Jewish version of being Amish, basically.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 14:22Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, old school.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  So you, you grew up very traditional, I'm guessing, the like?

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, ultra orthodox Jewish.

• 14:29Stavros Halkias?

  Orthodox as hell.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, it's like the Kardashians but poor.

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  There's a lot of us, but yeah, I remember my brother Manachem, the whole bus ride home, "You don't weigh enough, embarrassing me in front of the doctor," like that. Like, you're the one who feeds it, like now thinking back, and we were all like hitting him, we're like, "You don't weigh enough, you fucking..."

• 14:47Stavros Halkias?

  Piece of shit. You make mom look like an idiot in front of the doctors. Who doesn't remember his own name?

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Literally, literally. And so, um, so the late has a lot to do with the reverence of like, you don't waste a doctor's time. You don't waste like somebody wealthy's time, somebody anything's time. And now, to me, that's, that's just become, you don't waste anyone's...

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Not a bad thing.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  No, it's not a bad thing.

• 15:10Stavros Halkias?

  On time is not bad. I think, I, Greek culture is not a very like be on time culture. My best, I mean, all my, I hired my friends, right?

• 15:20Speaker 03

  That's true, I can notice that.

• 15:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, you can tell by how unprofessional everything is. And Eldis is Albanian, he's the only non-Greek, and all my, literally my friend who's essentially, she handles...

• 15:32Speaker 03

  By the way, for the rest of us, we think it's the same thing. We don't, we don't, I don't know, so it's all...

• 15:36Stavros Halkias?

  Let's not get crazy, Robby.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  I don't differentiate between, you know, the different whites over there.

• 15:42Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, Eldis, you take that back. And I, for the record, Eldis is celebrating being thought of as Greek, everyone. I want that on the record as well.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  No, no, no. You're trying to get out of white over there. If the Jews can't get out, you can't get out.

• 15:56Stavros Halkias?

  They're trying to get, they're taking it away from you, don't worry. It's not really get out of it for Jews. It's, it's, yeah, they, they, they give it every, every like 10 years, you're up for renewal.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  I know, literally, we got the visa.

• 16:08Stavros Halkias?

  This decade, it seems like it's out. Seems like it's, you know?

• 16:11Speaker 03

  This decade, I think we got the white card.

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  You think you got it, you think you got it, I think what the Trump, from first, from first election, I think you're kind of up in 26 is really, from 16, once Trump got elected, I feel like they yanked it from you.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, they might have yanked it, you know what, it's hard to keep track, but you're definitely sitting there with a white card.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, everyone is late and like literally my, all my, even friends of mine who are successful, they're just, and I had that problem, and I've tried to be better about.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  No, you just have to be who you are.

• 16:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  That's the whole thing, it's like, it's like stand up, like, some people are annoyed, or, or, you know, they, oh, I don't like this guy, I don't like, like, for instance, for me, I love Pete Davidson.

• 16:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Okay, people are like, oh, you really, I'm like, I really found his special to be, just darling, I enjoyed watching it.

• 17:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  I was delighted, I found myself just with a smirk on my face, and I enjoyed it. But I'm the complete antithesis to that type of comedian, he's laid back, he's chill, he smokes a cig, he goes up there, he's just, I, write a lot, do a lot, am a lot, it's kind of like you can be the Pete Davidson chill going in, or you can be the Taylor Swift type, you're putting out a lot, you're writing a lot, you're doing a lot, and I like both of them.

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  You see yourself as Taylor Swift.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  I'm in, yes, I'm in the Taylor Swift camp, where I try a lot, I do a lot, but I love the chill dudes.

• 17:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Who, who just come out with a guitar too, and I can like it both, just know who you are, and that's fine.

• 17:41Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the Pete Davidson thing's interesting because, you know, you say it's antithesis of a comedian, but I could also see.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  No, antithesis of me as a comedian.

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  Or, yes, right, but I mean, even as a person, to me, what you're describing, your, your upbringing, to me, like a, like, sort of like, trash coated, like, east coast Pete, I'm saying, like, not you.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, you know, the, you know.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  I was like, what'd you say?

• 18:06Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, certainly not, I mean, like, a guy who's like tattooed, fucking drugs, like. Who fucks around, like, kind of just, seems to be a hang, seems to have gotten everything from being a good hang.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's the exact opposite to like 12. Children that were birthed in an assembly, in a Jewish assembly line.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was a goody two shoes and a good student and I've never done drugs and this and that. Yeah, and I, I like it all, but I like them to be, like, I don't want you now that I know you're always late. If you're on time, I'd be worried of like, I want you to be the most you. Like, what I love about people is them being them.

• 18:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  And I would be worried.

• 18:46Stavros Halkias?

  A real authenticity.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would be worried if suddenly you were on time, like, is he good? Like, is he going through it? Is he sad? Like.

• 18:53Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, actually, when I'm, when I'm really on time and really about work, which is actually kind of what we're in the middle of right now, I'm not that happy. Cause it's like, I've taken time away from my essence.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:05Stavros Halkias?

  To make sure that work gets done.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's terrible. No, no, no, you gotta be distracted, you gotta be carried away. You gotta be, oh, you know, what's, what's that smell? Let's check out what they're cooking in there.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  Dinner went late, we had drinks. Then I saw somebody, ran into.

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's always nice.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  I ran into an old pal.

• 19:25Stavros Halkias?

  When you can live, I do love living my life that way. And actually, the great tragedy of success is that it's taken away the ability to just sort of float through life.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  Really?

• 19:34Stavros Halkias?

  Which I don't, I want to get back to, like, I want to plan around being able to just, yeah. Cause I also definitely identify with the, my great, I think I'm good at stuff, but I think my good skill is hanging out. Ultimately, it's just having a good time, figuring it out.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Well, if you, and, and, and I don't want to, I don't want to discourage you from hiring your friends and things like that. But if you hire people who.

• 19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Elvis is on thin ice.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Robbie, come on now.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  There is a world, there is a world, and Stavvy's world, where you hire people who can assume more of the responsibilities.

• 20:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  You can delegate some of the worky stuff.

• 20:12Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  To them, if they could take on that responsibility, which would free you up to be who you're supposed to be, which is, which is why people pay to see you in the whole thing for the hang. So there is a world, and Stavvy's world, where we upgrade the staff.

• 20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Or the staff step up.

• 20:32Stavros Halkias?

  I like to think that.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Or the staff step up.

• 20:34Stavros Halkias?

  This is great.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  And understand that he's expressing a need in his life.

• 20:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right, you hear this, Elvis?

• 20:39Speaker 03

  But he's been bogged down by all the extra work.

• 20:42Stavros Halkias?

  I love this.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  And I'll tell you, there's no work without him, you don't have a job without him.

• 20:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, listen to that.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  Here's the thing, Robbie, if I wasn't here, Stav wouldn't be as grounded as he is.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Grounded plenty.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  Denise's coffee, Don.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 20:55Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  Grounded plenty.

• 20:57Stavros Halkias?

  I actually do, there is the great trade off of like, having your friends around also means some people can actually talk to you like a human being. Whereas like, I'm sure you, you know, you see people who, in entertainment, it's like, they're surrounded by people who depend on them for everything and also can't cross, or like, can't.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  I can't wait for that. See, I'm somebody, I can't wait to sell out as soon as humanly possible. I'm sick of all you people and I'm ready for an upgrade. I'm ready for Delta Comfort.

• 21:26Stavros Halkias?

  I get that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network, brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month

• 22:07Stavros Halkias?

  or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOV. Terms apply.

• 22:15Speaker 05

  If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. Hi, I'm Sean Evans from Hot Ones and I want to tell you about YouTube Premium. It has offline downloads, so you can watch without Wi-Fi. Background play, so you can lock your phone and it still plays, baby. Oh, and it is completely ad-free. Yes, I said it, ad-free. Try YouTube Premium for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime.

• 22:45Stavros Halkias?

  That is, I mean, just that upbringing though is cra- I mean, that's terrible stuff.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  It's really bad.

• 22:52Stavros Halkias?

  We're talking bunk beds? What are we talking?

• 22:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, bunk beds.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're talking bunk beds. We're talking the bunk is sinking. And I'm like, Mom, I could get crushed to death. Like, this is a real...

• 23:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Like, this is a real concern. I'm like... Like...

• 23:07Stavros Halkias?

  What did your parents do? Like, were you...

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Nothing. We were on welfare.

• 23:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. Your dad didn't do anything either?

• 23:11Speaker 03

  My father wasn't in the picture on and off.

• 23:14Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  My father was in the picture in the beginning, and he studied.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  Every... Oh, well, he was in the picture every nine months or so, it sounds like.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, he studied.

• 23:21Stavros Halkias?

  He would pop back in.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  But no, they didn't. They gave it all to God. My parents almost like...

• 23:26Stavros Halkias?

  Super religious.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like, they just give it to God. Like, if God wants us to eat, we'll eat.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, that's crazy.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  Like, it's... They give it to God. So, however, we were on welfare and, you know, which is... I love when people like, you know, people take advantage of this system, like, these people living on welfare. Yes, my parents are retarded.

• 23:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  But just they had 10 kids. I'm seven. I'm going, I had nothing to do with this. I agree with you.

• 23:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to get off the dole.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  I agree with you, but I can't even work yet.

• 23:57Stavros Halkias?

  I know. That's my gri- my big... I actually weirdly... There was a moment in my life where I thought I might do something good for the world instead of selfishly entertain. And I was into welfare policy a lot. That's what I studied. And I couldn't understand why people took it out on the kids. It's like, these kids are actually so mu- so fucked. Like, the odds of... These kids are already so fucked that it's like, you're gonna cut back their fucking parents? Oh, you're really gonna show their parents by making sure their kids have an even shittier life than the parents? It's so fucking stupid.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  It's like, for me to even be sitting here with you and everything I did today, it's like... From where I come from, it's just like Michael Jordan proportions.

• 24:36Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  In terms of... Yeah, and it's just... Yeah, I agree with you. My parents... Are fucked.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  Probably shouldn't have had that many kids.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  I agree. There was no, you know, I asked my mother, how did you have all these kids? She's like, it seems like every time I went to bed, I woke up pregnant. I'm like, that's the grossest fucking thing I've ever heard. Close your legs bitch. You got no, you cannot afford it.

• 25:03Stavros Halkias?

  Ten kids.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  And it's like, give it to God. He's not giving you much.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  No. After the first five, you saw that God wasn't giving anything back.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  He wasn't giving much.

• 25:11Stavros Halkias?

  At least, you know, I said Amish, but it's like, at least the Amish were using those kids to build barns.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  They're building.

• 25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You weren't doing, what are you just studying?

• 25:19Speaker 03

  We're studying ancient texts. It's like not applicable. It's not helpful.

• 25:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's what, I mean, what's your relationship to, are you religious anymore? Cause you know?

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Here's the whole thing Gabby says, my wife Gabby says that I'm the most religious person she's ever met.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  You know, I grew up, now I equate like being religious to like induced OCD or something. Cause like there's a way to do everything. There's so many little like traditions and laws, you know? For instance, kissing the mezuzah when you walk in the door. I still do that. I'm not an animal. So there's certain things, you know, but, but it starts to, the line gets blurry between OCD and religion. I think for now, like if people ask me if I believe in God or whatever, I definitely think there's, I think it's, there's something bigger.

• 26:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, something out there.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  I think, you know, when somebody asked me about the afterlife or things like that, I think it's as crazy that we're here, living this earth, that there could be an afterlife.

• 26:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  There's nothing I don't believe in almost is the thing. Like anything you tell me, like I could get into it because I just don't know anything.

• 26:26Stavros Halkias?

  But you're not still studying.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. I don't do that, but I definitely give it to God, but I don't know what God is. Maybe it's an energy, maybe it's, it's forces, maybe it's everything coming together. There's just something larger. I don't know.

• 26:40Stavros Halkias?

  Was there like a definitive moment for you where you were like, cause you're primed to, you know, rebel against, not only is like.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Well, I remember the first time I ate not kosher.

• 26:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  Cause growing up as a kid.

• 26:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  All the non-Jewish kids, after school, whatever, they had like a McDonald's Happy Meal.

• 26:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  And it was in that little house.

• 26:59Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. I remember the house big time.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  And as a kid, I'm just like, I want a Happy Meal. I can't be happy too.

• 27:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's literally called the Happy Meal.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  I can't be happy too. We felt like we were like denied happiness.

• 27:10Stavros Halkias?

  What are your lunches looking like? What's mom packing in there?

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Peanut butter sandwich. Four Saltine crackers.

• 27:16Stavros Halkias?

  Tough stuff.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  And now Gabby says that all the snacks I like are so Soviet Union. Cause I like, I'll take a sleeve of Saltines with some peanut butter and call it a day. I just don't understand.

• 27:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  And she's like, I haven't seen Saltines in so long.

• 27:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. No, that is a complete poverty food.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, but you know, I've still, I love the, anyway. Um, and if I'm splurging, I'll do the Ritz. You know, I like to. The Ritz is the upgrade to me. The Ritz is the upgrade. Yes, yes, yes. That's the upgrade.

• 27:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's, yeah, that's flexing.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Um, but, uh, wait, what were we just saying?

• 27:49Stavros Halkias?

  The rebellion, the first time you ate not kosher.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  No. So I really, all I wanted was like a nugget throwing up. If I like, just the waft of that smell.

• 27:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they were the best.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Right? So then I remember I was, uh, I was in college in, in Montreal, I went to, after high school, you have something called CEGIP. It's like, anyway, I was in college.

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like a year program?

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's like a year program, but you do university for three years and you do this year program, year or two program.

• 28:13Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Before. Anyway, then they call that college and then university.

• 28:17Stavros Halkias?

  Uh huh.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Um, so I was, I was studying and I was starving. I just had an exam. No, I had like an eight o'clock or something exam.

• 28:27Stavros Halkias?

  What are we studying in college?

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Accounting.

• 28:30Stavros Halkias?

  Accounting, really? I mean, we're just.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Well, cause I didn't think I was gonna go to school.

• 28:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  So, cause my mother would, you know, we weren't taught to dream or anything. If anything, we were discouraged. My mother would say, school's not for everyone.

• 28:41Stavros Halkias?

  School's not for everyone?

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Because it was like, you know, a racket. It was expensive. She always got us into this private school, but that was gonna be it.

• 28:48Stavros Halkias?

  And so the, the, so what's the goal as growing up? Cause our thing.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  They weren't gonna let us in free there. We went to a Jewish private school that let us go for free.

• 28:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  And they reminded us every year and it was just, it was horrible.

• 28:59Stavros Halkias?

  But what's your mom, like, what do they want for you, I guess is the question.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Nothing. There was no expectations of us.

• 29:04Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 29:04Speaker 03

  Zero.

• 29:05Stavros Halkias?

  So they're just, to them, like their base, they're just existing. And to them is what you do is just have 10 kids. Like it's insane to me to have that many kids without.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  There's no thought.

• 29:17Stavros Halkias?

  Being like, I mean, it's not like zealots have that many kids, but you, your, your parents sound like, sort of like ambivalent zealots? Like it's the weirdest combination of anything I can think of.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  There, there was no thought. Like, you know, people read parenting books and this and that. There was no, there was not a thought.

• 29:34Stavros Halkias?

  But there wasn't even like.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Even when I got into school, I remember being 18. I was like, my, I applied to school. I got it. She goes, I can't do all that. You'll have to pay for your own bus pass if you move out. And so that was it.

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's fascinating that they wouldn't want you to go to fucking school.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  It's good. They want you to work. Get a job.

• 29:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  We just didn't.

• 29:51Stavros Halkias?

  Was the plan that you would stay at home and everybody pools their resources?

• 29:54Speaker 03

  No, everybody moved out at seventeen or eighteen.

• 29:56Stavros Halkias?

  Everybody moves out.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:57Stavros Halkias?

  This is the most bizarre setup I've ever heard.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  You're like, I was fully a grown up by like seven. I mean, I remember being five years old and changing my brother's diaper. My brother, I was small in my family and one of my little brothers was as big as me, but he was a year younger, a year and a half younger.

• 30:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  And I remember, he must have been three and he was like potty training, but sometimes he would need a diaper at night. Or a pull-up and I would hoist him onto the table. Get his legs up.

• 30:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  Slide up. And I'm only five.

• 30:27Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's nuts.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  So we were really respected and talked to us, you know, there's, there's a parentified aspect certainly to it, but there was also a respect to it. My mother, the school called me because I, I had trouble, you know, being the poor kid at the rich school.

• 30:41Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  I always like was, it, it just felt uncomfortable all the time.

• 30:45Stavros Halkias?

  You're not just the poor kid, you're also the weird kid, I would guess.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 30:48Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like, cause you have fucking, all your siblings are there. You're like, they're the poor ones and there's fucking eighteen of them?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, and my brothers were always getting in trouble for like violence. Like they were always like beating each other up. And I was like the, you know, I was their sister and, and it was just. And my mother though, let's say they would call the school, my mother would be like, she's your responsibility from eight to four.

• 31:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  Like when my mother would say what happened at school, my, ma, that teacher, she's fucking crazy. And she'd be like, I know she's crazy. She is, she's off. I met her. She's off. But can you, can you just be good? This is such. My mother was like, please just shut up and listen to her. This is an amazing opportunity for you. Don't you know? Don't you know this could be a great opportunity?

• 31:33Stavros Halkias?

  She must have been young, right? Your mo, your parents have kids young. So it's like, did it feel like they're your roommates more than anything?

• 31:39Speaker 03

  No, it just felt like, I remember being ten and looking around and seeing my mother and being like, I gotta get out.

• 31:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  There's nothing doing. This is not good.

• 31:48Stavros Halkias?

  Are there uncles, aunts? Is there any, any shining light in the family whatsoever?

• 31:52Speaker 03

  I had an uncle Rob in Vermont, but we didn't see him often. And that's how I get my name Robbie. Because when I was starting to do stand-up, I had this accounting job and the reason I, again, and see, we came back to it very naturally, see? I'm a Weaver, but we've come back.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Is, I grew up so poor that when I got into school, and we were taught school was a scam, which it is.

• 32:17Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  And my mother was right.

• 32:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think higher education is a lot of it.

• 32:19Speaker 03

  But she said like, you have to, you know, what are you gonna, if you go to school, it has to be for something you don't know how to do.

• 32:24Stavros Halkias?

  So you're, yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  You know, art, you go to the library, take out books. What, what do you need? It's all free. So, um, I asked the academic advisor, what's the least amount of school for the most amount of payoff? And she said, if you go into accounting, they'll give you a job this summer. You could get internship, paid internship. So that really spoke to me. And then I interviewed at an accounting firm and they gave me a laptop for keeps. I was like, for keeps? And so they gave me the laptop. I was in.

• 32:50Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  And that was my first time having the laptop, which imagine how, people ask me like, what's your, what's your life like now? You're having such a moment. I've had so many moments. One was when I got my laptop. It's not like the other kids didn't have a laptop. Every kid but me had a laptop.

• 33:05Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Holy fuck.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  So it's not even like I grew up, oh, there was no laptops. Everybody had a laptop. It was bizarre to be printing the teacher's lesson. And then write, you know, I would print the slides.

• 33:17Stavros Halkias?

  And handwrite things.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  And then write on notes on them, instead of directly

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  In the notes on the slides.

• 33:22Stavros Halkias?

  And what do you, what's entertainment like even? You don't have a laptop? Is there, is there like a one TV that everybody shares?

• 33:29Speaker 03

  We had one TV.

• 33:30Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Um.

• 33:31Stavros Halkias?

  Were they strict about what you could watch?

• 33:33Speaker 03

  Nothing. Watched everything. Oz. My mother was, she was asleep at. Well, first of all, we weren't as religious by this point, by the time that we're sharing the one TV.

• 33:42Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  My mother left this community. We were still.

• 33:45Stavros Halkias?

  Cause your dad's not around?

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Yes. So my, my parents', uh, marriage fell apart. That's when we moved to Canada.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  Remember when I said about trash coated? Let's take the coated out.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  It's a.

• 33:56Stavros Halkias?

  Let's just go ahead and.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:59Stavros Halkias?

  People don't think there's white trash, everyone, they don't, people don't think it's Jewish trash. They don't think of it.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  But by the way, and they shouldn't think of it. I didn't think of it.

• 34:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  I go, how do you even get?

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  You're the exception.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  How are you even poor and Jewish anymore? I remember growing up and looking at my mother, how do you even get poor and Jewish anymore?

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  It's almost unheard of.

• 34:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  It's like she had to go out of her way to fuck up so bad.

• 34:21Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Like, we were so close. You hear, "You're born in New York," you're like, "That's pretty good." "Oh, it's Jewish. Okay, shit is looking up."

• 34:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Well, sir, what the fuck went down?

• 34:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Where did we go wrong?

• 34:33Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Because if you had stayed in New York, at least, like, you're at least in the weird, insular, religious community, which is fucked up in its own right, but it's like, something, you know, there's something going on there. You were, you guys were so, and it's like, the way you're describing is no man's land, where it's like...

• 34:50Speaker 03

  Yes, we were the most New York kids to move to Canada, ever. And we went to this new, with this, some of us got, every, most people went to public school, but a few of us were able to go to this, what my mother thought was like, this great school, private school, and it was a very good school, and thank you, Ma. I'm not resentful if you're listening, which she's not. But I'm just saying that, you know, it was a bizarre, it's a bizarre, you know, it made me feel way poorer than I ever was.

• 35:16Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  You know, I'm like, oh, I would come home from school, I'd be like, "Oh, it's really bad here." Like, I'm like, "Ma, it's like, somebody's gotta be..."

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, I get that.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  "...thinking about this." So that's why I ended up in accounting, because, gave me a job, I was paid every two weeks.

• 35:29Stavros Halkias?

  And you are, and also, to go back to the, you're studying for accounting. What is this first meal, this non-kosher meal?

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Wow, look at us weaving in and back. You're actually an underrated podcast host.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, I appreciate that.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  And I know you're pretty, like, people think that, oh, you're really, you know, you're up there, everybody knows about it. He could actually have more.

• 35:49Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  No, he could actually have more.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  From your, from your lips.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Sometimes I say people are, are, yeah. I, I'll, so I was, I had an exam, probably like an eight to 10, or a 10, a very early exam, and I was starving after, and there was no kosher food by my school, it was downtown. Now I was commuting downtown, and...

• 36:10Stavros Halkias?

  Is big Jewish population in Montreal?

• 36:12Speaker 03

  It's, there's a population, but, you know, it's, it's insular, like anything else, you get kosher food, you have to...

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  And I was starving, and I was just kind of looking up in this McDonald's there.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  And I said, that's it. That is it.

• 36:28Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  I am sick of this. And I walked in and I heard about the Egg McMuffin.

• 36:32Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, ooh, nice.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  From Big Daddy. I watched, loved Big Daddy.

• 36:36Stavros Halkias?

  Great movie.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  And I thought, in my head, I thought, breakfast is closing. I don't know what time.

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Thank God they were open. It was probably, it had to be before 11 at the time. I get there, I said, breakfast is still, they said, breakfast is still serving. And I got Egg McMuffin with bacon.

• 36:53Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, you went the whole.

• 36:54Speaker 03

  With bacon.

• 36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  And I got the two little latkes, the hash browns.

• 37:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good breakfast.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  And it was unbelievable. And I had it every day for a month. At my first job, I started working at McDonald's and I ate McDonald's every day.

• 37:13Stavros Halkias?

  What happened to the internship?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  No, this was before. The internship was after college.

• 37:18Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so the fir-, your first job was McDonald's?

• 37:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Hilarious. So you go from, and that was the first meal?

• 37:24Speaker 03

  Single day.

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  The first non-kosher meal was McDonald's?

• 37:27Speaker 03

  First non-kosher meal I had was Egg McMuffin. I just was, that was it. We weren't kosher.

• 37:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  And nothing happened. And it was fine.

• 37:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  I mean, I don't know still, Husham, but I'm hoping, come on.

• 37:40Stavros Halkias?

  He could be playing the long game.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  I know, I know. We don't know.

• 37:43Stavros Halkias?

  Giving you all this cool stuff.

• 37:44Speaker 03

  No, and I already feel like I'm gay. I gotta be careful. Like, you know, I'm getting away with murder here.

• 37:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  I'm getting away. But I do feel like, even with coming out gay and not being kosher, like, for some reason, my relationship with God, whatever this is, I feel like if there is a God, like, I feel like he fucks with me. Like, I feel like he's just like, what are you gonna do with Ravi? Like, I feel like he doesn't really, like, he's not as hard on me. Like, he's like, well, that's Ravi. Like, I feel like we get along. We just, like, we just respect each other and, and, and that's just how it is.

• 38:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's a very interesting look at it, because it's like, is that your way of processing having good luck? You know, you know what I mean? Because like, your circumstances are one thing, also just entertainment in general. I mean, I struggle with that too, where I'm like, the way I process it is just like, it's, I won a lottery ticket, essentially.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 38:34Stavros Halkias?

  So, but I don't think of that as me and God are boys, you know what I mean?

• 38:37Speaker 03

  I think he fucks with you.

• 38:38Stavros Halkias?

  You think God likes me?

• 38:39Speaker 03

  I'm getting word in now.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  And I think he's like, tell him to come over.

• 38:45Stavros Halkias?

  I'll hang, yeah. I'm down to chat with God, but.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  He just went grocery shopping. It's a stocked house. No, I always feel like he just, so, maybe, and maybe that's, you know, when they say, first of all, people are allowed to tell us that, that, that, that Jesus spoke to them. God fucks with me. How's that?

• 39:02Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  How's that?

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  I guess you have as good a, you have as good a, a case for it as anyone.

• 39:07Speaker 03

  Thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you.

• 39:10Stavros Halkias?

  Are, you must be, are you doing the best out of all the siblings, would you say?

• 39:14Speaker 03

  Everybody is doing, thank God.

• 39:16Stavros Halkias?

  Really good?

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Really well. I think actually, randomly, my mother ended up, the non-parenting ended up being the best thing to suit us for this world. Because nobody was hungrier than us.

• 39:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  You know, and I think she ended up being the best example. I think she knew subliminally, or, or subconsciously, or even didn't know, and it was accidental, which is probably the case. That she wasn't gonna be around, and that she was spread very thin, but she did shit that really, my mother valued a few things. We were gonna be fed. That's why my brother, being skinny, really, because she really was cooking all the time.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  And she made food last, and she made big crock pots of shit and whatever.

• 39:57Stavros Halkias?

  And what do we, give us a sample menu?

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Stew, like it's all the chalant, it's, you know, I would see that crock pot, I would come home. We'd eat a huge, and I'm like, that's dinner for the next nine days.

• 40:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  It made me sick. But anyway, now I love it.

• 40:11Stavros Halkias?

  What's in it?

• 40:12Speaker 03

  It's like, it's like, uh, beef and carrots, whole carrots.

• 40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Classics do.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, not like the little mini, like the big dildo carrots, like huge chunks of whole potatoes.

• 40:25Stavros Halkias?

  What, but, with the racist Looney Tune cartoons where they would go to Africa, and they would put bugs in it, and Bugs Bunny, and chop up the, the potatoes and carrots?

• 40:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, no, that's what my mother was doing. Exactly, exactly. You get the big witch, the big witch spatula, whatever.

• 40:41Stavros Halkias?

  And a whole side of beef. Sounds pretty good.

• 40:43Speaker 03

  But we were gonna be fed, we were gonna be sheltered. Yes, there's cockroaches. There's a roof over your head, is there not?

• 40:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  Okay, and then we were gonna be educated. My mother, any free program, we were at the library every weekend. She let us take out whatever she didn't monitor.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  And later on, taking out videos from the library. And one thing she did was, for her break, for her grown-up time, once a week, she went back to school.

• 41:08Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, interesting.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  She, she, she, my grandfather would come over and she'd be like, "Please don't burn the house down."

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  And, and she would just go to school. And then, one year when I was graduating university,

• 41:22Speaker 03

  and one of my sisters was in university also, we're all close in age, my mother was suddenly graduating.

• 41:27Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  And we're like, "What? The bitch is graduating?"

• 41:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  But after 12 painstaking years of taking one evening class.

• 41:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Every week through the summers.

• 41:39Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  The bitch had enough credits, and we're like, I just, for some reason, oh, we thought she'd be...

• 41:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  But she, and I think it's something like that, that tenacity, which she never spoke of in nothing and even told the schools, "Not for everyone."

• 41:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  She never even thought she would finish.

• 41:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  That sort of lesson, she ended up leading by example.

• 42:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Accidentally so, probably. It was just to get her mind off of, to have one night outside the house.

• 42:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, your life is so bad that taking school is your, like, escape.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  I know, she's such a nerd. I know. She's such a nerd. She loved it.

• 42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Get me away from my fucking malnourished 11 children.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  By the grace of God, graduated and got an undergrad.

• 42:21Stavros Halkias?

  In what? What was she studying? Just general?

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Just history, yeah. Just, yeah, art, art degree.

• 42:26Stavros Halkias?

  What did she do when it was like, when everyone was gone from the house? Did she have a, a second act?

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Well, they're not still gone. I have a brother at home, and, um, yeah, there's a lot. They're not everyone, no. In fact, she lives with my brother, but she helps, uh, my niece, who's amazing, but people have family and she's, you know, in a big grandma role.

• 42:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, grandma. I guess you're right. Grandma, going right into the grandma role, really is.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's, she, and she, yeah, so...

• 42:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, my mom's the same way, where now my brother had a kid and it's the most... It's exact, it's like she, she wants, she's happier doing that. Like she,

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  My mom does want to go to school too and like,

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Oh, does she?

• 43:05Stavros Halkias?

  Well, she always said that and I told her like now it's like, yeah, go to school, whatever. Like I was like, I'll pay for whatever you want to do.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  It's too late now.

• 43:10Stavros Halkias?

  She just would rather hang out with the baby.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:12Stavros Halkias?

  She's just like, the baby's the man.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 43:14Stavros Halkias?

  Like, the fuck do I want to go study for? But I, I know what you mean about that tenacity because that's how I feel about my mom where it was like, there's shit, she was working at a certain point, two jobs. We have, you know, three kids. And it was just like, that example of like, oh, this shit, her life is bad. Like it's tough. And it never, it's just, she's stopping, is not even a consideration in a way where whenever I'm like frustrated with like shit, being too busy or whatever, I'm like, if my mom could do what she did for twenty years, it's like, what, who gives a fuck?

• 43:52Speaker 03

  I'm literally living one of the greatest lives I've heard about recently and it happens to be mine. Like, I can't believe it.

• 43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Heard about.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Like, you hear about these lives? Do you know what I mean?

• 44:02Stavros Halkias?

  I do know what you mean.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Their life must be great. I like go to bed with Gabby and I'm like, this is outstanding.

• 44:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  And having money, like it, it's so much better. Like that ruse of like, oh, well, money doesn't make you happy. I am here to dispel.

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  It is so much better.

• 44:20Stavros Halkias?

  It really helps.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  It really helps.

• 44:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, when you grow up poor, you know.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  To be able to help your family and to, and to go to sleep at night. I mean, it's just much nicer.

• 44:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Much nicer. It's night and day. That even comparing that makes no sense.

• 44:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, they have to say that so they keep people poor.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. The richest people say that. And I'm telling you, get the money.

• 44:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  If you can. They're keeping us from it, but, but by the grace of God, one or two get out. So we're like the fucking cockroaches.

• 44:51Stavros Halkias?

  According to Robbie, God likes both of us. He must not like you guys. That's what, that's what I'm getting. He must. I don't know what you did to piss him off, but, interesting. And then, Yeah, so but was there like a so that's the first kosher thing.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:06Stavros Halkias?

  First breaking of kosher, which feels very symbolic, but was there like a great, I mean, changing your name coming out like was there like a very was there a real like, did you feel like, was it just a gradual?

• 45:17Speaker 03

  It was gradual.

• 45:18Stavros Halkias?

  Becoming who you are?

• 45:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's definitely, it's like a transition.

• 45:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  You know?

• 45:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  Um, that they get their surgeries, sometimes they start wearing a skirt, then they get a surgery, then this, and then they're they're become the women that they are.

• 45:32Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  It was like that, but really, yeah, and there's still things that my mother, you know, my mother is still kosher, for instance, there's still things like back home, like not everything has been shed, and obviously at our house, like, you know, um, even though I went to a less religious Jewish school in Montreal, we were still the most religious kids at that school, but to us it felt a lot less.

• 45:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Like, you would think it's fanatic, but I'd be like, you don't even know fanatic. Have you been, you know what I mean?

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  We're not reading by candlelight.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly, but to us it felt less, and so it was a slow gradual thing like that, almost like a transition.

• 46:09Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, I get that.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, into a secular life.

• 46:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and so what was like, did you stay in after like Montreal or whatever, like you're you're you didn't stay with accounting that long, or did you?

• 46:21Speaker 03

  No, I was in accounting for like three years.

• 46:23Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  Um, and, uh, no, it was the greatest because I was like, I'm getting paid every two weeks.

• 46:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, a paycheck.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Salary job, bro.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  So that's the first time that I started even thinking stand up or anything, I never thought what I like, all I like was money.

• 46:43Stavros Halkias?

  You had your basic needs met for the first time in your life.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I was sleeping, and then I heard about stand up, then I was like, okay, I'll do, you know, because in Montreal, they had the biggest festival there.

• 46:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  So I thought, I'll just do the festival, go up to them, and they were like that, you know what I mean?

• 46:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  But I didn't really know of it.

• 46:59Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  At all.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Cool town. I love Montreal and also very like, uh, it feels not just secular, but like, uh, sort of like European kind of horny, kind of evil in certain ways.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  It's the best.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  It's the best. And you know what? It's so cool that Montreal is my hometown now. Because I get to bring Gabby home to Montreal and she brings me back to Denver and I've listened. There's no problem.

• 47:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  But I'm just saying it's cool when your hometown is Montreal.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  Montreal's way better.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  And you're eating like a king for a dime, like a dollar goes crazy. It's just.

• 47:34Stavros Halkias?

  We had a great time. That was where a guy gave me, he threw a 5,000 milligram edible.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 47:39Stavros Halkias?

  On stage.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  That checks out.

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  Took a little nibble and I was fucked up for three days. But we had a, but before it kicked in, we had a great day having a pastrami, having a walking around.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  It's unreal. It's unreal.

• 47:51Stavros Halkias?

  The green something the place was called.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, Green Avenue.

• 47:54Stavros Halkias?

  Deli or something like that. Anyway, great stuff.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Fantastic.

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a big fan of Montreal.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  It, it, it's amazing.

• 48:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love Montreal too. I forget what you were asking, but you'll remember because you're very good at coming back.

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  Just sort of like more, I guess it just doesn't sound like you ever really took a hard rebellious stance. It was more just like, because I guess it was, your upbringing is not as.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Well, it felt like the rebellion, it wasn't like, like I could be who I wanted or, or whatever. I guess being gay was a hard one because I'm like, no, not another thing. Like I didn't, I didn't grow up thinking I was gay.

• 48:30Stavros Halkias?

  My family.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  I didn't think I was, you know, I didn't grow up. I was a kid for a long, you know, I was very kidlike as a kid. I wasn't, you know, I always feel like I'm, I'm either seven years old or I'm 73 years old. I feel like I'm like.

• 48:45Stavros Halkias?

  You skip sex either way.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:47Stavros Halkias?

  Innocent or old person, you know what I mean?

• 48:49Speaker 03

  By the way.

• 48:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  I, I, we're making up for everything. Don't even worry. I don't get into it. My wife doesn't love it. But listen, I'll just say this. My wife had 25 boyfriends three years ago and we got it done. So.

• 49:04Stavros Halkias?

  Now she's gay, huh?

• 49:05Speaker 03

  So yeah, there's something, you know.

• 49:06Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah. You're, you're, you're getting your money's worth.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  But I know, I, I don't know. I think, I think the hardest thing for me was having that good accounting job and then realizing like comedy. I was like,

• 49:20Speaker 03

  First of all, being gay, I'm like, oh, I don't want, my mother's already this hearing impaired, single mother of 10 kids on welfare. I'm living on my own. I just don't need another thing right now. I could marry rich. I was getting good dick back then.

• 49:31Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 49:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  You were dating like rich guys?

• 49:33Speaker 03

  The rich boys in the community. There was rich Jews. I was, remember, I went to this school.

• 49:38Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  That had all these like rich families and our big hope was I would get into one of them.

• 49:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, really? How many girls in the family?

• 49:45Speaker 03

  First of all, I'm low key pretty.

• 49:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  People don't, people don't know I have a pretty thing about me.

• 49:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  In a certain way.

• 49:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  I could kill it in another way. It's like, my sister sees me wearing clothes like this, yeah. And she goes, it's like you choose to look ugly.

• 50:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Like, they think, well, you're so pretty with your figure. What I would wear, like, they think I don't, like, I'm not into myself.

• 50:07Stavros Halkias?

  It was wasted on you, is what they think.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:09Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 50:10Speaker 03

  Okay. So, there was a chance for me to do that.

• 50:13Stavros Halkias?

  You were the one they were dangling out there to the rich families.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Then when I'm gay, I go, I gotta make money.

• 50:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  I gotta get cash.

• 50:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  So then I get this accounting job. I'm paid every two weeks. The work is boring, but it's fine work. It's not so different. They're not doing much. Okay?

• 50:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it really isn't.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  And, and then the comedy, I heard about it and I thought I'll do it, but I didn't think it was anything.

• 50:34Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  But then I knew, but then I was good at it.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  And it, oh my God, now I have to do it. Like, I wouldn't wish a calling on my worst enemy. It was very difficult for me to say, I have to leave this job.

• 50:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  That finally I have everything to lose. I have a job paying me every two weeks. It's all I ever wanted was money coming in.

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Money coming in.

• 50:54Stavros Halkias?

  And that must not have been, in the grand scheme of your life, we're talking, that's what, three years, four years, where you felt like you had things figured out?

• 51:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:01Stavros Halkias?

  And then you had a, and then you're like, oh, great, now I'm gonna just completely fuck this up.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I felt like I had lots to lose, my job, because I never even dreamed of having a job like that.

• 51:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  I remember my mother, because I worked at a big building downtown. It's a big firm, KPMG. I got an internship, then I got hired. Okay. And I remember my mother told my brother to apply for a job at my building and he showed up with a basket of oranges. And I was like, Schmo, why are you here? He's like, he's like, Ma said you guys might be hiring. I'm like, I went to school for this. Like, that's, I like, no, I got a degree for this. We're not just like, Willie, and what are the oranges? He's like, it's nice to come with something. The weirdest thing to come with.

• 51:44Stavros Halkias?

  This is like Ellis Island's level thinking, like tenement, tenement Lower East Side in the 1900s.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  It's like cold, he's got this basket, like a wooden basket, literally of oranges. I'm not gonna come empty handed, ask for a job.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  It's like you, it was just so bizarre.

• 52:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I'm fascinated about the like, the, were you ever in a serious relationship back then with one of these rich guys? Or you were just kinda dating around?

• 52:10Speaker 03

  No, you know what? I wasn't, I've, I've given, you know, I, I, I was kind of dating a friend of mine. I had them around. I knew they were available, you know? I had like a guy friend confessing his love to me every three, four years.

• 52:26Stavros Halkias?

  Was that, did you like that feeling?

• 52:29Speaker 03

  I did it. To me, it was a backup plan and I would ask them, I'd say, worst case scenario. This is what I said with one of my friend Dave. I said, worst case scenario, if I'm in destitute stuff. Okay. And you see, I finished school, we're in school, would you give me $88,000? That's the most money. To me, a hundred felt, felt piggish.

• 52:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  I would never ask a hundred. But just 88 felt classy and like I could live on that for a long time. So I said, worst case scenario, would you give me 88? And I would make them shake on it.

• 53:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure, sure. And this 88 to marry them or just?

• 53:06Speaker 03

  No, just if I'm in destitute, if you really love me.

• 53:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. Oh, you just wanted a cash infusion of 88?

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, like you're telling me you love me. Well, what would you do? What does that mean?

• 53:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. 88 to me, pure cash, that seems a little high.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Well, they, by the way, and there's some of them I should, well, I can't call it now.

• 53:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  And by the way, they might need 88 and happy to help.

• 53:26Stavros Halkias?

  It might backfire on you.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Happy to help, I'm happy to help. Call me, we'll see what we can do.

• 53:32Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, okay. So you had the kosher moment. Was there a, a similar gay moment where there was like, it was McDonald's? Who's the girl version of McDonald's for you?

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Uh, Italian girl. This was at college. It was all happening at this time. We were going, right? And I didn't wanna be gay. I never would. I was outed brutally. I don't think I ever would've come out. I appreciate and respect a closeted individual. I do appreciate, no, I appreciate. There's a dignity to it. There is a dignity. You have a private life, excuse me.

• 54:05Stavros Halkias?

  You could say, no, I'm just private.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  No, exactly. It's like we were, I was just saying, you know, my sister always said, if you're a grown up who likes Disney, there's some things you can keep private.

• 54:15Stavros Halkias?

  I agree. Disney adults 100% should be closeted.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. This is something in private life.

• 54:20Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  Okay, so that's what I felt about it. But I was brutally outed.

• 54:26Stavros Halkias?

  What happened?

• 54:28Speaker 03

  I was, I was, it was like the end of the year and students were all got to go to this student bar and there was like picture sales and everybody was putting in whatever money they had.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  And I went to the bathroom with, with my girl, what we were, I said, you don't talk to me in pers- like, you don't look at me, you don't anything.

• 54:52Stavros Halkias?

  This is the Italian girl.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, okay. And, and she would do graffiti and stuff. She, and she would be like, oh, spot me. I'm like, I'm gonna be the one narking on you.

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Beautiful building in Montreal, you think your tag? The building is 400 years old. This is a masterpiece of architecture.

• 55:12Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  And they think their little tag, her tag is what's gonna complete the building.

• 55:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  In any event, and then we were in the bathroom and we were making out in the stall.

• 55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. Classic, classic stuff.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  And then it opens the stall, like we were like lunged out of it because people were coming in and out and the doors weren't.

• 55:32Stavros Halkias?

  Busy bar.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Caught embracing.

• 55:34Stavros Halkias?

  Ah.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  And this bitch Carrie, a rich girl, saw, and it was like a walk to remember the next like day, it felt like when I walked into school in the cafeteria.

• 55:45Stavros Halkias?

  In college.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  Yes, and but our college, again, it's like pre-college.

• 55:49Stavros Halkias?

  That weird like, yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Okay, and it was very segregated, like a prison. It was a Jew caf. I'm not making this up. If you went to Dawson, in the comments, confirm this.

• 55:59Stavros Halkias?

  They call it the Jew caf?

• 56:01Speaker 03

  All, and then there was Conrad's, all the Italians.

• 56:04Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  There was, there was a black floor.

• 56:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  No, it was extremely segregated. The Jew caf was one room on the third floor. The main floor was Italians and black kids and just generally cooler people.

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  Okay, and then we were on the third floor.

• 56:27Stavros Halkias?

  It was cool segreg- it was cool segregation.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  So I walked into the cafeteria and you couldn't really be...

• 56:34Speaker 03

  In the different cafes, it was weird. That's why, cause like, my Italian girlfriend-

• 56:38Stavros Halkias?

  So what happens if you go get a slice of pizza and sit down and do-

• 56:41Speaker 03

  No, they would like, yeah, they would kinda give, like, look at you. Like, if I just went to the Italian floor, they would kind of just be like, "Well, who do you know here?"

• 56:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  And I couldn't say the one dyke-

• 56:52Stavros Halkias?

  Montreal-

• 56:53Speaker 03

  That they had, cause that would out me.

• 56:55Stavros Halkias?

  Uh-huh.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  We each had one, and like, you know what I mean?

• 56:58Stavros Halkias?

  Well, let me ask you this, not to be indelicate, what's your personal style at the time? Cause you think you're being-

• 57:04Speaker 03

  I was feminine with a hint.

• 57:06Stavros Halkias?

  Fem hint, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:08Speaker 03

  I had the hair down.

• 57:09Stavros Halkias?

  If you're really paying attention.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  I thought the Converse were giving something.

• 57:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right, right.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  You know, so I, but especially being caught with the other, she was a little more advanced than I.

• 57:21Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I see.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  She was wearing a lot of layers, and I would tell her to calm down on the layers.

• 57:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  It was outing everybody.

• 57:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:27Speaker 03

  And, and, and, and she, so, I, if I was just, if she was the Italian I knew on the Italian floor,

• 57:33Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  It's over for me.

• 57:34Stavros Halkias?

  You can't, yeah.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  And Italians and Jews talk too.

• 57:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  We wouldn't hang out on the same cafes, but everybody had class together. So you could have your school friends, but then when you had lunch-

• 57:43Stavros Halkias?

  This is insane.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  When you had lunch, you ate lunch separately, but in class, you could be friends with anyone you wanted. I was friends with all kinds of people. This is how it was.

• 57:53Stavros Halkias?

  Segregated lunchrooms.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Everything was segregated, and then Montreal's like very multicultural, but segregated. It's like the weirdest thing.

• 58:00Stavros Halkias?

  There is something to that, if some places-

• 58:02Speaker 03

  There's communities, like they're-

• 58:03Stavros Halkias?

  Super old-

• 58:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:04Stavros Halkias?

  In terms of their, in terms of being like diverse, if you started being diverse in the 1700s, you were also kinda segregated.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  You're saying, that's what our place was, it's like, you know, so, I, um, I walked through my cafeteria, and it felt like a walk to remember where her nudes were leaked, and everybody is looking at her, I felt like-

• 58:29Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone knows I'm gay.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  That's the dyke.

• 58:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  And I felt that because I was like, we knew one other lesbian and I was the kid who went when that lesbian walked in the cafe, I'm like, look at that dyke. I was that. I was the internalized, like, I've had everything internalized. Like, you name, internalized homophobia, check. Internalized trans, check. Internalized, that's, check.

• 58:48Stavros Halkias?

  Anti-Semitism, all of it.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  Everything is check, check, check.

• 58:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  And I wouldn't have it any other way. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

• 58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Were those all phases? Are you still rocking with all that internalized self hatred?

• 59:01Speaker 03

  I think you rock with all of it, but it's also like, I play, you know, for instance, it's like, some people yell at me about they/them, you know? I can yell about they/them, right? So, I, I play whatever, I'll code switch where I need to show other people that they're annoying like me. For instance, if, if, if, they/them, first of all, when I was roped into the they/them community, I was, I was, again, like, not another thing. Because I'm like, I'm already born into one of the most annoying communities that ever was.

• 59:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  Now I gotta be part of the next most annoying community?

• 59:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  You lie, you gotta let, you gotta...

• 59:41Stavros Halkias?

  Jewish plus non-binary is a tough combo.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  You've gotta let up on me. You've got, I'd love a cool commi, something, right? So...

• 59:48Stavros Halkias?

  You read both, though, is the problem.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  I read both, thank you, exactly.

• 59:51Stavros Halkias?

  You're not gonna be able to hide either one.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  It's terrible. So, so, when I, you know, and people get mad at me, oh, you know, we're making fun of the, you know, they/them, yes, I know it could be used in a sing, they/them, it flopped. I've talked about this. And I know that they/them is, yes, people complain it's plural. I know that it can be used singular in a fashion. If somebody hits you and you didn't see who hit you, you'd be like, they hit me.

• 1:00:15Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  Or if somebody was standing in line in front of the 7-Eleven or something with you, you'd be like, they were here first. I get that. But predominantly, it's not used. You said it would be an easy lift. It's not. It's been cumbersome and people didn't catch on. Okay, it flopped. We have to be honest. But then at the same time, I went to a dinner, like a, you know, a Shabbat dinner where they had like old, an old Jew there who was like, "Why they them? What are they doing with they them? I don't understand it." I said, "Bitch, you don't understand space travel either."

• 1:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  There's a lot you don't have to understand.

• 1:00:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Just because you don't understand it. Yeah, you're old. You don't know shit.

• 1:00:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  So, I kind of push back where I need to in both senses.

• 1:00:58Stavros Halkias?

  You want to be the most conservative member of the, the community.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  In what sense?

• 1:01:03Stavros Halkias?

  Of the like, you want to be the they, in the non-whatever, gender fluid, you want to be the one being like, "Guys, come on, let's..."

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  I don't want to be anything.

• 1:01:12Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want to be anything.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  I just want equal opportunity for everyone.

• 1:01:15Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  Or, or, or not even like, I don't even want, I, you know what? I don't know what, I don't want, I'm just talking shit.

• 1:01:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Talking shit.

• 1:01:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're just making a value judgment.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  You're making like this big thing, like this big prof- It's nothing profound. I just, I said some shit.

• 1:01:32Stavros Halkias?

  And I do, I know what you mean in terms of you're making a value judgment on it almost as like, as an advertising firm for they/them. You're saying like,

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  I would, listen, they rolled me into it.

• 1:01:42Stavros Halkias?

  It didn't go the way we wanted to.

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  We didn't, exactly.

• 1:01:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  Let's, let's-

• 1:01:45Stavros Halkias?

  We're still sticking with it, but let's be honest.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  If you're, if you're, if you're doing they/them, yes, I will do it.

• 1:01:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  It was a flop. Nobody came to me, and I have some good marketing ideas.

• 1:01:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  Nobody, we didn't even throw out some alternatives. We didn't, we went with the plural. Somebody in some marketing room went hard with it and they didn't consult some of the front-facing members.

• 1:02:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Members, and then I can't do it. I gotta stick she her. And then you left me she her, the last she her on the motherfucking planet.

• 1:02:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  Because I can't take another annoying thing. I can barely, this one's been hard enough.

• 1:02:19Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think if your personality was different, you could go they/them? If it wasn't, if you weren't as, like you said, no chill?

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  If I had more chill, it's possible.

• 1:02:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:31Speaker 03

  But I'm running up to Stav. I can't also be they/them.

• 1:02:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  I can't be like, "Hey, Stav, I'm a huge fan of, my pronouns are they/them."

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  You're like, bitch, I didn't even want to say hi to you.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  What, it's like, it's too mu- that's overstaying.

• 1:02:48Stavros Halkias?

  Too many things, I understand.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  That's too many things.

• 1:02:50Stavros Halkias?

  I do get that, I do get that. Uh, well, I think that, that's a beautiful philosophy to have. And I think it's gonna really help. Man, I'm sure Eldis has a lot of questions queued up. That your expertise will help. It is a bizarre upbringing. I had no idea.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  It's very bizarre.

• 1:03:06Stavros Halkias?

  I thought generally, you know, if I had to guess, you know, I just heard you talk about having siblings, you know, I would see it. Things pop up, were you having a lot of siblings? I have friends who grew up in like those orthodox communities and I just thought we were dealing with much more straight down the line, left, uh, very religious community, but you got a whole other bunch of other stuff going on.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:27Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, it's not that like clean cut, grew up in a repressive environment and rebelled. Very, it's much different than that, I would say.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it really was a hodgepodge.

• 1:03:38Stavros Halkias?

  So it's very, and we should say, by the way, special's out right now on Netflix.

• 1:03:42Speaker 03

  My special on Netflix is already streaming. Robby Hoffman, Wake Up, and, and I don't want to sound out of line here, Sav, but I think it's one of the greatest stand-up specials recorded in recent history. You know, and I'm telling you, I would tell you that if it, if it wasn't mine and I thought the same thing.

• 1:03:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  I'm being, I'm being as obj- I'm telling you.

• 1:04:02Stavros Halkias?

  I believe you.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  Because by the way, I've been in plays before where I go, by the way, he asked me to be in this play. It's not a good play. Don't come. I would tell you if it wasn't good.

• 1:04:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? So.

• 1:04:11Stavros Halkias?

  Directed by our pal John Mulaney, one of the funniest people of all time.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  One of the legends, and people won't believe it, but he asked me.

• 1:04:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  He heard Netflix was percolating about a special for me and he called me, begging me to direct it. The people will not believe. But I'm tell- I'm not here to lie to you. You watch it for yourself and you tell me.

• 1:04:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I believe it. Uh, watch the special on Netflix right now and, uh, let's take some calls, little Eldis.

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• 1:05:07Speaker 07

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• 1:05:38Speaker 09

  He doesn't hate. Hey, Savi. I'm calling because I'm 19. I've been in a relationship with this guy for like six months. Everything's like going okay. Like, I love him, but we had this issue

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 1:05:54Speaker 09

  about three months ago about guy friends. I have had guy friends like my entire life, specifically these two, who I've been very close with.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Get rid of him!

• 1:06:08Speaker 09

  He asked me to block them, and I said, okay.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  This guy's an abuse. This guy's controlling.

• 1:06:13Speaker 09

  And told him I would, and then I didn't end up blocking them.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  You have to block him. You have to go to the police immediately. And we need, this is where we need the Minority Report squad. We have to, at 19, get him at 19. No, that's unacceptable. Controlling behavior.

• 1:06:33Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely. How much more we got here? Hold on.

• 1:06:38Speaker 09

  Like, we're very close. Nothing weird's happened. I was a lesbian for eight years and I wasn't, so like, these guys, like...

• 1:06:46Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, she said she was nineteen? She was living for eight years? She said she was a lesbian for eight years. But she's nineteen? Yeah, yeah. Okay, anyway, let's finish this.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  What, is she a nine-year-old lesbian?

• 1:06:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:00Speaker 09

  At a time when I was like, very...

• 1:07:02Speaker 03

  It's weird to attribute a child with a sexual... Like, even a heterosexual boy or girl, like, if it's, like, I don't, I wouldn't even say, "Oh, it's a straight boy."

• 1:07:12Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean.

• 1:07:13Speaker 03

  Right, like a gay, like, like, like...

• 1:07:15Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes, like, there's that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where the, uh, he's dating the woman and he gives her son a, uh, uh, what do you call it, the... S- what do seamstress use? A sewing machine? A sewing machine. I mean, and the kid is very flamboyant, like, sometimes you will see little gay boys, I think, sometimes, where you're like... The only one that I feel comfortable being like that's attributing any sexuality to a child is a little gay boy who's just like, you know, like, that, that kid from the, from the... Generally, I agree. It's like, these are children, either way.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's bizarre, so go on. I mean, she's self-attributing, so fine, I guess she knows.

• 1:07:53Speaker 09

  Into men, so like, I didn't really think anything of it. Anyway, like, he found out about it, like, went to my phone, freaked out, and it keeps coming up, and now he, like, doesn't want me to, like, talk to guys or be around guys.

• 1:08:05Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is nuts.

• 1:08:06Speaker 09

  Which is difficult, because like, they're just everywhere. I don't know if he's in a relationship, he wants to go to my phone, he has the passwords to every single, like, thing on my social media. My friends say he's being controlling.

• 1:08:18Stavros Halkias?

  He is.

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  Yes, this is like, guys, this is it, this is not even a debate. If you do listen to this, leave him now. This is not like a joke, it's not like, it is controlling, you're not like, "Oh, it's just one opinion." This is the, this is the opinion.

• 1:08:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, are we missing anything else, or is this just a kid who's...

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  It will only get worse, and I'm just, shame on you, being a quote-unquote lesbian for eight years and not knowing better on men. Shame on you.

• 1:08:43Stavros Halkias?

  Well, she was a child, she was an eleven-year-old.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  Shame!

• 1:08:46Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, the fact that she's 19 is the only reason this is even a question.

• 1:08:49Speaker 03

  Lesbians have been skeptical of men for a long time. It takes a lot less than this for us to say leave.

• 1:08:55Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. I also, who knows, identifying that way is a weird move for a kid to do.

• 1:09:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's a child.

• 1:09:01Stavros Halkias?

  She's just, like, basically, this is insane behavior.

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  Insane, insane.

• 1:09:06Stavros Halkias?

  The only reason this isn't like even scarier is because he's a fucking idiot child as well. And so, hopefully, he figures this shit out. If this is the behavior of like a 30-year-old, it's a, this is like, call the police legitimately.

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  Oh, if he's 30, literally call the police and blocking and having passwords.

• 1:09:24Stavros Halkias?

  Nuts.

• 1:09:25Speaker 03

  That's insane.

• 1:09:27Stavros Halkias?

  He can't have your passwords.

• 1:09:28Speaker 03

  By the way, I'm married. We don't look like, honestly, it's just either you trust or you don't. I think anybody looking, I draw, like, if somebody really wanted to see my phone, sure, but it's like, every time, if Gabby, if my phone's off and Gabby and I are cuddling and she could see what's on my phone, fine, she doesn't care, but somebody requiring all of your passwords.

• 1:09:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Here's the thing, if you're in a relationship and it's going fine, and, you know, you have some app on your phone that they don't have, and you just throw it to them, and they look through it, and they like, get on the thing, who cares? But if somebody's like, hey, can I see your phone real fa- like, that's the weird, is wanting to do it. If you happen to see, you should be able to just randomly look at your wife's phone, and she should be able to randomly look at your phone.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:10:17Stavros Halkias?

  But when your significant other requires it, huge, and look, he's a 19, this is also a fucking young, stupid.

• 1:10:24Speaker 03

  This call was the equivalent of a whole red flag. First of all, even, you think, the whole call is a red flag. Even the fact that you called in to stop is a fucking red flag. Every aspect of this, it didn't get better, it got worse. The, you're the lesbian, the phone, the guy friends, the, but I love him, but it's three mon- get rid of it, but the 19, there's not one green flag.

• 1:10:51Stavros Halkias?

  There's no, nothing here. You're, in general, at this age, it's like- If there's anything even sort of wrong, it's like, just move on. You're, you're young, right?

• 1:11:00Speaker 03

  Age even aside, if you were 90, I would tell you the same thing. So totally, he's right. At 19, forget it.

• 1:11:06Stavros Halkias?

  At 19, it's, there's even stuff that maybe you could work through older, but this is legitimately, best case scenario, this kid is just, look, I also know what it's like to be a 19-year-old, like, boy, and have a girl you love so mu- like, you obsess over that, that I-

• 1:11:24Speaker 03

  You gotta go through that obsession, love phase.

• 1:11:26Stavros Halkias?

  And there was definitely like, my first girlfriend in college, I was like, yeah, I was like weirdly attached and worried. And you have to get over, like, hopefully this guy is just young and stupid and he's gotta get over this.

• 1:11:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:11:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's the best case scenario. Either way, worst case scenario is he's like a budding abuser.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  And by the way, you breaking up with him helps him learn faster for the next one.

• 1:11:46Stavros Halkias?

  And, yeah.

• 1:11:47Speaker 03

  That he's gotta work on his emotions and his jealousy and whatever he's insecure about.

• 1:11:52Stavros Halkias?

  He needs to work on that regardless.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  And you need to get out and you need to work on why the hell you can't see any red flags, ever.

• 1:12:01Stavros Halkias?

  And also thinking it's appropriate to give him these passwords. Like, you, you're already sort of in the web here.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  I'm worried sick about her.

• 1:12:08Stavros Halkias?

  Either way, this has to end. You gotta get the fuck out of here. And you have to set better boundaries for yourself. And this guy hopefully has to fucking like, understand he's behaving like a fucking lunatic.

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  And he will in due time. Yeah, we're all allowed, especially at that age, you, these first relationships are so, uh, do or die. I mean, I remember after my first breakup, I lost nine pounds. I'm in no position, never have been in a position to lose any weight. But it's just, it, it really is, you have to go through it.

• 1:12:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  So break his heart. The sooner you break his heart, the better he'll become.

• 1:12:42Stavros Halkias?

  Hopefully. There's also fucked, I mean, this fucked up behavior and like, the other thing is like, somebody who's this controlling is like, hopefully he takes it, but if not, you have to like, think about, you know?

• 1:12:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is beyond also a normal, like, anybody doing this, this is also like, not the same as a lusty or obsession. This is control and a form of abuse. We've, you've heard the point, I hope. God knows, you may not listen because that, God knows.

• 1:13:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I think she'll listen, you know, she trusts us.

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  I don't know. Please follow up, write in at least and say, did you, did you listen or you didn't listen and be honest?

• 1:13:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's like, good news, we're actually married now.

• 1:13:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, literally.

• 1:13:21Speaker 04

  I'm pregnant.

• 1:13:22Stavros Halkias?

  I'm pregnant and we're married.

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  And by the way, I wish them well.

• 1:13:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  I wish them well.

• 1:13:30Speaker 04

  That's a good look. That's a good outlook. What else, Eldis?

• 1:13:33Speaker 10

  Hey, Stav, Eldis, esteemed guest. I got a quick one for you. My wife and I have been together for six or seven years, and here's a question. Whenever we go to a party or wherever after dinner, you know, you eventually end up talking about what you do for a living. I am a commercial fisher, fisherman in Alaska, and she is an environmental consultant. Thing is, people think my job is fucking cool, and they don't give a fuck about environmental consulting. They have a ton of questions for me, and she rarely gets to, you know, her line of work. And after the dinner or the party, she kind of is hangdog about her occupation. I make a little bit more money than

• 1:14:17Speaker 10

  she does, and I have a ton of free time. My work is super exciting. I've thought of some ways to

• 1:14:25Speaker 03

  Her job is fake news. Consulting anything, I go, what?

• 1:14:29Speaker 04

  Consulting's bullshit, yeah.

• 1:14:30Speaker 03

  Consult. She should just drop the word consulting.

• 1:14:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean-

• 1:14:34Speaker 03

  And she should say environmental fracking or something. If she said some shit that they're actually up to, you know?

• 1:14:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, the things that you're li- that she's lying about.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:14:43Stavros Halkias?

  The things that some horrible company-

• 1:14:45Speaker 03

  Environmental consulting is for like GP or some oil company.

• 1:14:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe she deserves this.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  Consulting where to put the oil wells.

• 1:14:51Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. The- some horrible company- Satan incarnate is paying her to launder their reputation.

• 1:14:59Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:15:00Stavros Halkias?

  So, you know, ho- maybe not. I mean, otherwise, it's like, she's thinking like-

• 1:15:05Speaker 03

  Ninety-nine percent sure she works for-

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, unfortunately, that's probably what it is.

• 1:15:10Speaker 04

  He did say, as a fisherman, he makes more than she does, though. So I feel like if she was doing that shit for BP, she would be making bank.

• 1:15:16Stavros Halkias?

  She might just be having an actually boring, good job. So, her two options are- An evil job or a good job for the world that's boring.

• 1:15:26Speaker 03

  Also, the party sounds so boring, everybody talking about what they're, what they do for a living.

• 1:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:15:32Speaker 03

  The, like, the premise is boring already.

• 1:15:34Stavros Halkias?

  But I also know.

• 1:15:34Speaker 03

  Like, I'm interested, him being a fisherman is really interesting a job.

• 1:15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:38Speaker 03

  Because that's one of those old school, great jobs.

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:15:41Speaker 03

  Like, that's just, you're a fisherman. I know what you do. It's not consulting, liaison, all these new age. It's a real job. I know what you do. You fish, you bring home the fish, you're hunting, you're gathering. We get it.

• 1:15:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's in a baby's book. It's baker, butcher, fisherman.

• 1:15:57Speaker 03

  Position. What are the other people at the party? I'm sure she's more really, I'm sure, are most people, maybe in Alaska, they all, you know, a lot of them have cool jobs because Alaska's so sick.

• 1:16:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's a weird place.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  So cool and one of the last, like, sick, cool places.

• 1:16:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:12Speaker 03

  So, I don't know, she may be shit out of her luck. And by the way, so get a new job, make your shit cooler. Like, I don't want to hear about environmental consulting.

• 1:16:20Stavros Halkias?

  I don't either.

• 1:16:21Speaker 03

  I'm falling, I'm actually feeling a yawn coming on, thinking about it.

• 1:16:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:25Speaker 03

  But for, because I'm on a podcast, I'm, I'm suppressing it.

• 1:16:29Stavros Halkias?

  Did he have anything else, Aldous? Did he have anything that we were missing out on?

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  Uh, that was the gist, but I think, uh, I think it's worth just.

• 1:16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, go ahead, finish him off.

• 1:16:38Speaker 10

  Kind of include her more, either just not even bring up what I do at all, or, uh, give her, you know, the spotlight.

• 1:16:47Speaker 03

  Do not dim your lights.

• 1:16:48Speaker 10

  Proper up. Um, some caveats, I feel like.

• 1:16:52Speaker 04

  Caveats, okay.

• 1:16:53Speaker 10

  I could make working at a gas station sound kind of cool. I'm a little better of a storyteller.

• 1:16:57Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:57Speaker 03

  He sounds okay, he's really.

• 1:16:59Speaker 10

  You know, people are just generally don't care. I kind of want her to be a little more proud of her work, um, and, yeah.

• 1:17:08Speaker 03

  You sound shitty. I totally, I didn't want your light to be dim.

• 1:17:12Speaker 10

  And make it seem a little more exciting for her. Uh, if you need any fish, hit me up. Stock guy Sam is a shit.

• 1:17:18Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, I do watch salmon.

• 1:17:19Speaker 10

  I understand the stuff on these coasts.

• 1:17:21Stavros Halkias?

  Hit him up, text him.

• 1:17:22Speaker 10

  Isn't quite there yet. Anyway, thank you.

• 1:17:24Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, don't fuck it. We can get good fish. I live in New York City, you fucking motherfucker.

• 1:17:27Speaker 03

  We can get everything good. You can get everything good everywhere.

• 1:17:29Stavros Halkias?

  His cockiness is shining through big time. Okay, what we're up against here is that, yes, his thing is more interesting. It is. It just is regardless. But also, you know this guy. This guy would brag about it fucking his high school football day. Like, he had, this is a guy who would brag about shit that sucks, and he happens to have something cool. So that is gonna be overpowering, right?

• 1:17:52Speaker 03

  I think there's something more to the story if we got to speak to the wife.

• 1:17:55Stavros Halkias?

  I think so.

• 1:17:55Speaker 03

  He's probably fucking annoying. You thought I was annoying coming up to say hi to you? He's probably, she's probably not even mad that he's talking about the job. It's how he's talking.

• 1:18:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's very possible.

• 1:18:06Speaker 03

  And how he's not letting anyone else. And I've been a victim of being him, so I understand and I have empathy for all sides of the, all sides of the, of the coin.

• 1:18:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:18:14Speaker 03

  But I will say this. There's something up with you men. That you had no awareness, there was no self-reflection. By the way, I could be doing this more. I could be, he goes,

• 1:18:24Stavros Halkias?

  he's like, listen.

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  There's nothing to do, there's nothing to help.

• 1:18:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'll talk about being an environmental lawyer. It'll be, or whatever. It'll be cool. That's not necessarily true, but you're right. There's no, and even his is like, how can I, do I need to stop being so fucking cool to make my wife feel cool? It's like, that's, you're not that cool. Relax. Also, her job fucking kinda sucks, right? And I'll say this, your point earlier of like, how boring is this party? Yeah, your job is not something you have to talk about.

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  For that long, that it's like, becomes the night.

• 1:18:57Stavros Halkias?

  Like, and, and your, your wife, like, uh, maybe there is, and look, what you're saying, there's truth to it. If you have confidence, you were, people are more engaged with a confident speaker than with somebody who doesn't, you know, who's kinda meek or whatever. At the same, and maybe she could make better talking points about what her job does. Because I also think environmental stuff is cool for the world, like it's good. If, is there some kind of fucking animal you want to talk about? People are, there, I could see a world where people would be interested in it at a party.

• 1:19:29Speaker 03

  If you knew a shit ton about a type of whale, or that whale that they're looking for, that there's only one of, and he's like 5,000 years old, okay.

• 1:19:37Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  Okay, I am, I would like to hear more.

• 1:19:40Stavros Halkias?

  But, yeah, I would also just say, does it have to be about? Because he framed it very specifically in the context of their jobs. And it's like, okay, you have the most interesting job, what, but are you the more interesting person?

• 1:19:52Speaker 03

  No, exactly.

• 1:19:53Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean, like?

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  I doubted his personality. The job, the job is doing a lot of heavy lifting for him.

• 1:19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:19:58Speaker 03

  I get the impression that the job is doing a lot of the heavy lifting here, in terms of his personality.

• 1:20:04Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's very true, and I think, take away this job, he sounds annoying.

• 1:20:09Speaker 03

  He sounds annoying.

• 1:20:09Stavros Halkias?

  But I would talk to him about the job. So now I'm saying like, you're, maybe you and your wife are flipped, where her job's a little boring, but may, does she have other shit to talk about? And if the answer's no, then you're both boring and you should do some other shit.

• 1:20:21Speaker 03

  No, you should both boring and, and I wish you well.

• 1:20:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:25Speaker 03

  And you actually sound like a perfect fit.

• 1:20:28Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:20:28Speaker 03

  Just keep doing what you're doing.

• 1:20:30Stavros Halkias?

  But it is the kind of thing of like, what do you talk about at a party? It's like, you can't, you, your thing is your job. Like, she doesn't, her, nobody should be defined by their work necessarily. It's okay if you like to, but your wife doesn't, he's, he's seeing it as a competition between jobs.

• 1:20:48Speaker 03

  He sounds insecure about her job. She has said nothing, we have heard nothing from her.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  He says she's a hangdog.

• 1:20:55Speaker 03

  This is a reverse Johnny Depp Amber. We didn't get to hear from Johnny, okay? We heard from Amber, and then Johnny entered the room and we heard the other side.

• 1:21:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:04Speaker 03

  Here's what's happening here.

• 1:21:05Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:21:06Speaker 03

  He sounds like he's embarrassed of her job. That he, something is bothering him about what she does. She has told us nothing. She might like what she does and, and be a normal person like, I don't really talk about my, my job at this. Meanwhile, he's running his mouth on his job. He might be embarrassed and by the way, he might be the whole time itching. I hope they don't ask my wife what she does because it's not cool. And I like to be cool ma cool. Cause I'm a tool.

• 1:21:35Stavros Halkias?

  Where are they even, what is he talking about? They're going to parties? What does he say?

• 1:21:38Speaker 03

  Alaska?

• 1:21:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think he's just talking about like dinner parties, going out with friends and stuff.

• 1:21:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's just such a specific, strange question because I wouldn't, if the question was, how do I bring my wife out of her shell socially? That's, that's a different question than why, how do I, how does my wife talk about her job better? Do you know what I mean? Like, isn't that a little specific? Does it have to be about the job is my big question.

• 1:22:02Speaker 03

  When she's talking about her job.

• 1:22:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe she loves it, but it is boring. Maybe she's a nerd who can go on about boring shit and, and puts the room to sleep. Maybe that's what it is.

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  I'm willing to take him a little like face value. Cause like, I could imagine being at a party. It's, you know, it's all the couples. Everyone's got an office job.

• 1:22:18Stavros Halkias?

  You get to talk about being a podcast producer. Honestly, the fuck, with the squares you're hanging out with, you're fucking Mr. Personality Elders. That's true. You drop your big podcast producer dick on the table.

• 1:22:29Speaker 04

  I'm like, yeah, traveling is so annoying, guys. Constant travel, crazy hours.

• 1:22:34Stavros Halkias?

  I've been berated by so many people on television. So many people on television have made fun of my production abilities. Beck Bennett just pulled out a perfect impression. You only knew you fucking 10 minutes.

• 1:22:46Speaker 04

  That was pretty good.

• 1:22:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Robbie started this episode very astutely pointing out how bad you are at your job, but go ahead.

• 1:22:53Speaker 04

  But yeah, I mean, you know, that is the kind of job that could light a dinner party on, on fire and have everyone like asking a million questions. And if she is doing like good work as a-

• 1:23:04Stavros Halkias?

  But would your wife be annoyed about her job not being as interesting? I see your wife as being somebody who, as an example, has a lot of interests, talks about other shit, keeps up with movies and shit.

• 1:23:16Speaker 03

  Six, seven years together married. Like, this is just- Something is just not adding up to me. Six, seven years and you're still navigating how to do parties together? We are a solid unit.

• 1:23:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:31Speaker 03

  Gavin, are we walking? We know what the hell we're fucking doing. Obviously, we both have very cool jobs.

• 1:23:37Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:23:37Speaker 03

  Obviously. But I'm just saying it's the kind of thing that you haven't talked to your wife about.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I could also see-

• 1:23:43Speaker 03

  You haven't navigated, like, hey, let's say she brings, she is upset that she was left out of a conversation. Be like, oh, I could open the floor more.

• 1:23:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:23:50Speaker 03

  Or if she's insecure about her job, if I do take you for face value and she says, it's a boring job. She doesn't know how to talk about it. Maybe you could, you know, maybe you could...

• 1:24:02Speaker 03

  I don't know what to do at that point.

• 1:24:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:04Speaker 03

  I'm thinking off the top of my head, it might be-

• 1:24:05Stavros Halkias?

  If you're such a good orator like he claims.

• 1:24:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:24:08Stavros Halkias?

  You just said it yourself. It was me. I could... So fucking give her some pointers.

• 1:24:11Speaker 03

  So do it. That's good. That's exactly it.

• 1:24:13Stavros Halkias?

  How about flip it?

• 1:24:14Speaker 03

  You can make anything sound good.

• 1:24:16Stavros Halkias?

  How about, yeah, the next dinner party, you have to talk about how good her job is.

• 1:24:20Speaker 03

  That is an excellent idea. By the way, my wife works as an environmental consultant and I'll tell you, she just discovered the last living whale of this species. You make it sound good.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Um, anyway, were you about to make a point before I cut you off or was that...? Okay, good.

• 1:24:35Speaker 03

  I cut you off, so thank you for taking that.

• 1:24:37Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:24:38Speaker 03

  It was actually me who cut him off. So you said, but you took the fall for me and I appreciate that.

• 1:24:42Stavros Halkias?

  No problem, no problem.

• 1:24:43Speaker 03

  I really do.

• 1:24:44Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, good luck. I don't know. Fucking, who cares? Fuck this guy. Yeah. Next question.

• 1:24:49Speaker 03

  Fuck them both.

• 1:24:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, fuck his dumb bitch wife.

• 1:24:54Stavros Halkias?

  Learn how to tell a story, bitch.

• 1:24:57Speaker 03

  Literally wasting all this time. We've been working all week.

• 1:25:02Speaker 04

  I'm sure her organization has had their funding gutted this past year.

• 1:25:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true, dude. Absolutely.

• 1:25:08Speaker 11

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• 1:25:38Speaker 07

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• 1:25:56Speaker 08

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• 1:26:08Speaker 12

  What up, Stavi? Um, giving you a ring. I just had a pretty life-changing event happen. Someone in my family died, and I am getting around $9 million.

• 1:26:21Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 1:26:21Speaker 12

  No. It's in a trust. It's like a trust fund, so I can't like spend it all right away. That's what everybody says. They're like, you gotta... And also, I know like, don't tell anybody, but like, I've kind of been telling a couple people, bro. Yeah. Like, just like my girl and like my closest friends. Um, and like, obviously, my family knows, but like, some of my family has actually like, changed the way that they kind of look at me. Um, little background about me. I'm a total piece of shit. I, um, like a club promoter, um, but like, I'm also a photographer and videographer. Um,

• 1:26:59Speaker 12

  but like, when I tell people I'm a club promoter, they're like, oh, yeah, like, they kind of just kind of... Um, I did like, study politics. I did, uh,

• 1:27:07Stavros Halkias?

  None of this is good.

• 1:27:08Speaker 12

  Work for, defending Jerro Polis. Um, I am like, very politically active. Uh, uh, Politically active and now he got money. Um, I am like, very politically active.

• 1:27:17Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, what did he say he did work for? Cause that could, that could really inform what kind of guy this is.

• 1:27:22Speaker 12

  I did like, study politics. I did, uh, work for, defending Jerro Polis. Um, I am like, very politically active. Um, I really like, uh, you know, what you've been doing. But like, my question is like, what would you, I, I'm, I know this kind of, sounds like I'm like bragging, and that's what also I'm worried about.

• 1:27:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're a club promoter. You're a broke club promoter who's fucking aunt slipped down a fucking stairwell and you got a big fucking payout. You're not bragging. But go ahead.

• 1:27:50Speaker 12

  They just think that I'm bragging, but really, it's just like, I was broke as fuck before this, man. Like, I was working,

• 1:27:56Stavros Halkias?

  And you didn't earn it.

• 1:27:57Speaker 12

  At like a dispensary, and I've had good jobs too, like, working at law firms and stuff, but like, I don't know, I'm kind of a... Um, like it did it, I'm this is going like kinda long, but I'm sure you're just like, yeah, just like live it up and whatever, but

• 1:28:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm not gonna say that.

• 1:28:12Speaker 12

  You know, I'm really open to traveling or or getting into a hobby or just like finding something to do because The only reason I'm getting this money is because my dad was an alcoholic. I'm sorry I'm going really long. Um, and he died and I'm like the youngest person in my family that's getting this money. Um, but it's going to like everybody. It was around like half a billion dollars.

• 1:28:30Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck.

• 1:28:31Speaker 12

  And if you guys wanna, like I can, it's a whole story, but like, what would you do, man? Like, would you travel? Would you like, Would you act like nothing happened? Like, would you change your life?

• 1:28:41Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:28:41Speaker 12

  Um, would you tell anybody?

• 1:28:43Speaker 03

  He must be like, like, it's, well, it's so crazy to me is there's anonymous families living with like half a bill.

• 1:28:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, we probably never heard of this guy.

• 1:28:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, it's not a oil tycoon or you would, you know what I mean? It's like, you think you know of all the rich families because you're like, They're so rich, it must be like so, like, they own everything or something, but it's like.

• 1:28:59Stavros Halkias?

  The ones we know about are the ones that other rich people laugh at for wanting attention.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:03Stavros Halkias?

  Cause the real rich people just buy politicians like secretly.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:29:08Stavros Halkias?

  They don't need to be on fucking Time Magazine, right?

• 1:29:10Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:29:11Stavros Halkias?

  They're not fucking almost begging to be liked.

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  Exactly. It's like the rich whisper.

• 1:29:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:29:15Speaker 03

  Right? So it's like why Gabby and I like we all, like, I always joke like, I'm not whispering, like, I'm screaming. I got a product shoe on. I'm screa-, it's gotta say it on there. Or it didn't happen. Like, I am not at the whisper level.

• 1:29:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:32Speaker 03

  I'm at the screaming.

• 1:29:33Stavros Halkias?

  I get that.

• 1:29:34Speaker 03

  Look at this, look at this, it's something on here, cause I never had brand names or anything and that's all I wanted. And now I'm like,

• 1:29:40Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:29:40Speaker 03

  Make sure it's on your side.

• 1:29:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:29:42Speaker 03

  So I'm screaming, so I guess I don't get like this type of family where it's like,

• 1:29:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:29:46Speaker 03

  Where it's like half a billion dollars, there's families like that, just totally anonymous.

• 1:29:52Stavros Halkias?

  Biggest piece of shit in the family gets nine million dollars.

• 1:29:54Speaker 03

  For no reason.

• 1:29:55Stavros Halkias?

  For nothing. Like, that's the thing. What do you mean live it up, travel? Like, your whole life has been good. You're some rich piece of shit who got to be a club promoter and pretend he was doing political work, but at the end of the day, you knew your family could pay your bills.

• 1:30:09Speaker 03

  And he knew, right?

• 1:30:10Stavros Halkias?

  Unless I'm missing something, right?

• 1:30:11Speaker 03

  He must have known. Like, he's saying like it came out of the blue. It was your father. Like, you knew some shit was coming to you.

• 1:30:17Stavros Halkias?

  Happening. Yeah, you, oh, I've been broke for years. You knew as soon as your fucking dad's liver gave out. You were about to have.

• 1:30:24Speaker 03

  You poisoned him.

• 1:30:27Stavros Halkias?

  No pop, don't go to AA. Let's have a couple pops dad. Let's have some twisted teas maybe.

• 1:30:34Speaker 03

  It's like he has to have known, but also it's like, invest it.

• 1:30:39Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, nine mil, by the way, look, I know this is gonna sound insane. And it, I'm not gonna say nine million is,

• 1:30:46Stavros Halkias?

  it's obviously a fuck ton of money and that, but if you're, you're talking like you're, he's in his 30s, you're never gonna have to like work again. I mean, I guess if you invest it and you come from a rich family that knows how to invest things, maybe you won't have to, like you could invest in the right way and live off your fucking dividends or whatever the fuck. I'm too stupid, I still don't know what to do with money.

• 1:31:05Speaker 03

  I don't know, it's terrible. I just got a 401K.

• 1:31:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 1:31:10Speaker 03

  Which is, I'm really, I feel like I tell people I have investments. Because it is technically, it's investments, thank you.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. But what I would say is, yeah, look, if I got nine million dollars from being broke, what I would do is buy a house I love.

• 1:31:26Speaker 03

  Thank you, exactly.

• 1:31:27Stavros Halkias?

  And just set up, kinda set up the rest of your life in a, in a,

• 1:31:33Stavros Halkias?

  in a way that's, that's, that you can live with those means. Don't live above your means. Don't buy a four million dollar, a four million dollar fucking thing. Buy it a nice fucking house, half a million dollar house. That's like your fa, that's somewhere you could see yourself living forever, whatever.

• 1:31:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:48Stavros Halkias?

  Raising a family. And just invest it and like, I guess the rest of your family's rich. If it was me, I would be scared, I wouldn't spend any of it because to me, and part of my, getting money, I don't spend that much money because I'm always like,

• 1:32:02Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone depends on me. If there's ever a fucking emergency, I, you know, I'll have to fucking figure it out. You're not in that position. Buy some shit that's fucking, buy a house, put money away, invest it. You wanna take a vacation like a, hooray, my dad's dead vacation if you want. That's another thing, it's kinda morbid to celebrate getting money this way.

• 1:32:24Speaker 03

  Travel the world, I mean.

• 1:32:26Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know dude, I, that's what I would do. I would just buy a fucking house somewhere I like, set up my life, invest it.

• 1:32:32Speaker 03

  You take a little bit off the top. It's a, it's a lesson my brother Levy has always shared with me. Like, like I sold my first, I got my first script sold, uh, uh, six years ago for $65,000. It seemed like the craziest amount of money you could get.

• 1:32:47Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:32:48Speaker 03

  I always wanted a watch.

• 1:32:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:50Speaker 03

  Okay, but I never thought, I thought if I have a really good deal, and that seemed like a first TV deal.

• 1:32:54Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, at the time, your length is insane.

• 1:32:56Speaker 03

  So I took, you take, I took $3,000. He goes, you have to buy something, a thing that you like. Because there's one thing, you know, I watch all these after show, you asked me about God earlier, but I, there's really nothing I don't believe in in terms of the afterlife, or reincarnation, or whatever the things, I, I'm open to it happening, you know? Um, but the one thing I take away from all of these, uh, all of these conversations is that the material world is fleeting. That it's possible, I can see my grandfather in the afterlife, and I, and I hope that is the case. Daddy, I miss you, I'd love to hang out.

• 1:33:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:28Speaker 03

  Okay, I hope that it's the case, that I can spend forever with him and everybody else, you know, that we love.

• 1:33:35Speaker 03

  But if I can see him in the afterlife, okay, great, let, let me have a, a nice watch now, let me have a car now. Like, if I can't, it sounds like you can't have a car in the afterlife. It does sound like there's certain things.

• 1:33:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:33:47Speaker 03

  That were not, like, the material world is like, like, things is a big part of the world, actually.

• 1:33:52Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:33:52Speaker 03

  Like, it is important, it's really, it's like, even having a material, physical body, like, the physical is very actually important. Cause it sounds like through all these things, that's the one thing that disappears.

• 1:34:03Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:34:03Speaker 03

  You're just kind of floating there, which is sounds amazing.

• 1:34:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:06Speaker 03

  So, take a little bit off the top, for, like he said, a house. I always wanted a watch, I have always had watches my whole life, I had, when I was a little kid, I had the, uh, I got the Beauty and the Beast watch. Where the, the head of, of beauty lifted, and it was a digital watch under. And I would always say, ma, ask me what time it is, ma, ask me what time it is. So I've always liked watches.

• 1:34:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:28Speaker 03

  So I bought that, and I, and I'm like, you, the rest of it went, and I always calculated how many months of rent, I said, I just bought myself. Like, I have two years of rent.

• 1:34:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:38Speaker 03

  Or 18 months rent, I always calculated in rent, oh my god, I've made rent till next November.

• 1:34:43Stavros Halkias?

  Every show, I'm like, alright, how much can I afford, like, every, you know, the studio.

• 1:34:50Speaker 03

  This is not that guy, why are we even wasting our time?

• 1:34:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, but I would also say, like, you know, just don't go cra- like.

• 1:34:56Speaker 03

  I hope he goes broke.

• 1:34:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess.

• 1:34:59Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be honest here, it was never money that belonged to, you're not gonna give it away, you're not gonna be, you're not gonna be altruistic, you're not gonna do anything. So I hope, Liv, you know what, go nuts.

• 1:35:11Speaker 03

  Go fucking nuts.

• 1:35:12Stavros Halkias?

  Hit the casino, brother.

• 1:35:14Speaker 03

  Hit the casino. You got this.

• 1:35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, here's my advice.

• 1:35:16Speaker 03

  Put it all on red.

• 1:35:16Stavros Halkias?

  Put it all on red.

• 1:35:18Speaker 03

  Put it all on red.

• 1:35:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you want nine or you want eighteen, huh?

• 1:35:22Speaker 03

  Thank you, exactly, exactly. And I wish you well.

• 1:35:27Stavros Halkias?

  And if you do hit, give us a couple mil.

• 1:35:30Speaker 03

  By the way, we told you to put it on red.

• 1:35:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's all us.

• 1:35:36Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 1:35:39Speaker 13

  Hi. I'm not gonna divulge any information regarding my age, sex, nor location, just for the safety of anyone in my past, present, or future life coming across this and knowing that it's me.

• 1:35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:35:55Speaker 13

  But my boyfriend doesn't vote. He has no interest in voting.

• 1:36:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:36:01Speaker 13

  And that hurts my fucking feelings.

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  I don't, but I haven't voted until recently. No, because I stopped voting after Bernie. You know what? I got such hell. I was so Bernie. And then I got such hell. You know, had the DNC or had the Democratic Party been, been more democratic.

• 1:36:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:21Speaker 03

  Even if they said, you know what, we got caught cheating it, you know, we know that Bernie got the popular vote. He was the populist candidate and we rigged it and we're sorry we were caught, we're embarrassed. I can apologize, like, just like, listen, if, okay, we're so embarrassed we got caught. We never would've come forward if we didn't. We did, and we're sorry. Okay, let me, let me, let's start from there. But because it was nothing and they just steamed rolled us and then they steamed rolled one. Well, I'm with her. I said, I'm not with this bitch. What is going on?

• 1:36:53Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:36:54Speaker 03

  Like, they made us, like, guilted us into being with her, like, the whole, like, the guilt of it? And then, and, but you, to me... You know, I've been poor under both administrations, under Democrats, under Conservatives. There wasn't enough of difference. The checks weren't marginally different that made a difference to my life. The trickle down didn't work either way you, you, you put it. And so, they lost me after Bernie. When I realized that, that, that, in my opinion, the Democratic Party and the Republican Party weren't that different. They were all in cahoots together at the top. We're kind of seeing that now.

• 1:37:29Stavros Halkias?

  They're both corporate centrist parties.

• 1:37:30Speaker 03

  They're corporate, they're establishment, they work for companies, they don't work for people. When I realized, when that all unraveled, that it's really true that the government works for companies, not for people. I, they lost me. And I said, if somebody comes around, that's, that, that, if some, they have to give me something to vote for. If I'm, you know.

• 1:37:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was not health, healthcare is the main, the, the crazy thing the Democrats don't do is healthcare is such a winning issue.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 1:37:57Stavros Halkias?

  You see it, the fact that like, uh, uh, healthcare CEO gets gunned down and people are like, nice.

• 1:38:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:03Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, that's how much people hate our healthcare system.

• 1:38:06Speaker 03

  They didn't get it done.

• 1:38:08Stavros Halkias?

  But, but I agree with you. I think, I, I get, but I think your point is a good one in terms of like, even if you were, and that's if you, if you live in like, Pennsylvania, or Ohio, or Florida, maybe your presidential votes count. Now, there are local elections where you could, you know, I was a big Mom Donnie guy, mostly because.

• 1:38:28Speaker 03

  Exactly, but he also gave us something to vote for, Mom Donnie.

• 1:38:30Stavros Halkias?

  And, and not only that, but also I think it's important that, I hope other candidates like that, who are like, unknowns, who are running on issues, who are running on populist issues, I hope that happens across America. So I thought it was important to do that. But, you know, maybe there's more to this, maybe this guy isn't even, doesn't even have this level of political engagement.

• 1:38:50Speaker 03

  But the apathy is real because they've, that, that's what, and, and it is true, like, yeah, voting can help a little bit. It's kind of like therapy. It's kind of like, if you do therapy every day, if you do therapy a lot, it can help a little bit.

• 1:39:08Speaker 03

  It's not gonna do like, you know what I mean? People are expecting like their whole, like, it might help a little bit.

• 1:39:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:14Speaker 03

  But it's also a bit of a ruse. There's a lot of therapists who are unqualified who got online degrees at Phoenix U.

• 1:39:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:39:20Speaker 03

  And now it's like, so, it's true.

• 1:39:23Stavros Halkias?

  And also, it doesn't help, if you, you go to therapy and you don't practice any of the shit you do in therapy, it doesn't matter the same way like, you can vote, but if you don't do anything to make your actual community better, it doesn't really matter that much. But, what is, let's see what she has to say here. Let's see from, you know.

• 1:39:38Speaker 13

  And that hurts my fucking feelings. So.

• 1:39:42Speaker 03

  She sounds crazy.

• 1:39:42Speaker 13

  I know he has the same political beliefs as me.

• 1:39:45Speaker 03

  It shouldn't affect her this much.

• 1:39:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:39:46Speaker 13

  For the most part. I mean, maybe he's not as crazy on like, I don't fucking know. I don't know. He doesn't talk about anything like that. And he's not passionate about anything like that. And it's a really big fucking part of me. You know what I mean?

• 1:40:01Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:40:02Speaker 03

  So then break up. You sound scary.

• 1:40:03Speaker 13

  Like, full-blown Democrat.

• 1:40:06Speaker 03

  Why, why does he have to?

• 1:40:07Speaker 13

  It's ridiculous. Like, frankly.

• 1:40:09Speaker 03

  Wait, rewind. Sorry, I was talking over her. I do this.

• 1:40:10Speaker 13

  Democrat. It's ridiculous.

• 1:40:12Stavros Halkias?

  Full-blown Democrat is what she said. She says she's a full-blown Democrat.

• 1:40:15Speaker 03

  But she's like, part of the problem of the Democratic Party.

• 1:40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, thinking it's just voting that matters.

• 1:40:20Speaker 03

  No, but also yelling at you.

• 1:40:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:22Speaker 03

  And not talking to you. And also being, it's like, why don't you vote?

• 1:40:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:40:29Speaker 03

  He doesn't talk about these things. Have you asked him?

• 1:40:31Stavros Halkias?

  And you're just mad at him instead of trying to understand where he's coming from. Is that, is there any more? That's basically the gist. Okay. Um, yeah, I mean, listen.

• 1:40:40Speaker 03

  The apathy is real. They, the system has fucked us over and over and over. The apathy is real. It's hard to still have faith. That said, yes, people should continue to try and move the needle, even if it's at a molasses pace, millimeter by millimeter. But I think that if it's this big an issue and you're like, identify as a, as a Democrat, like, that's your identity.

• 1:41:01Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:41:02Speaker 03

  Which I, I.

• 1:41:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's a problem.

• 1:41:03Speaker 03

  I can't imagine.

• 1:41:04Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's a problem, for sure.

• 1:41:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just, it's a little embarrassing.

• 1:41:07Stavros Halkias?

  The mainstream Democratic Party is a, like we just said, it's a corporate centrist party.

• 1:41:11Speaker 03

  I mean, they've fumbled the bag over and it's, it's, it's the fumble of the century.

• 1:41:15Stavros Halkias?

  For sure. So, but. But I think getting down to brass tacks within a relationship.

• 1:41:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:41:21Stavros Halkias?

  Instead of being angry at him and sort of, like you said, guilting him and, you know, oh, you're a bad person if you don't vote for Kamala or whatever. You're a bad person if you don't vote. Why don't you, if you guys are so aligned, why don't you have a real discussion about it?

• 1:41:36Speaker 03

  Why aren't people communicating?

• 1:41:38Stavros Halkias?

  Because I have that, you know, I've, I've said the same thing where, I don't, I didn't vote for fucking, I didn't vote for, I'm in New York, right? I didn't vote for Kamala because I just, I thought there were some real problems with, I thought there should have been an actual, uh, uh, primary. I thought the Democrats' position on Gaza was fucking insane.

• 1:41:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:56Stavros Halkias?

  I thought there were so many things that I couldn't support this party. And I had the luxury of doing that because I lived in New York.

• 1:42:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:42:04Stavros Halkias?

  If push came to shove and I lived in a fucking swing state, I probably would have voted Democrat because I didn't want Trump. You know, all the shit we're seeing now, I didn't want. But I had that luxury, right? So it's like, now, some of my friends are mad at me that I didn't vote for Kamala even here, where I'm like, it's completely symbolic here. So just talk to him. Where do you guys live? You know, do you live in a specific district where it doesn't fucking really matter? And then if you just, if you think it's important for him to vote, even if his vote's not going to really move the needle, and if he doesn't like these parties, but you think voting's important, can he vote third party, right? I've voted third party before in my life. It's like depending on the elections. If what you're saying is you just want him to be civically engaged, being bitter about it and being pissed off, it's not the way to go about it.

• 1:42:49Stavros Halkias?

  Talk to him about it and see if there's a compromise.

• 1:42:51Speaker 03

  With all of these calls, the approach is off.

• 1:42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:55Speaker 03

  The relationship approach.

• 1:42:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's true. A lot of it comes down to talk about it.

• 1:42:58Speaker 03

  Communication is king. Talk to your wife if her job sucks.

• 1:43:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:03Speaker 03

  Okay, is she unhappy with it? Are you unhappy with it? Are you embarrassed by her? Have the hard conversations. Okay, be prepared to hear things you, you, you didn't want to hear. Okay? Is your boyfriend not voting? You don't wake him up waterboarding him to vote. You have a little conversation.

• 1:43:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 1:43:24Speaker 03

  I mean, what is gone? The problem is the country doesn't communicate as usual.

• 1:43:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I agree.

• 1:43:30Speaker 03

  We should be engaging and talking to one another, but this is what you're the Democratic Party or the Republican Party or red versus blue or gay versus straight or this versus this has done to us. It's divided and it's by design and you need to wake up.

• 1:43:46Stavros Halkias?

  There we go.

• 1:43:46Speaker 03

  That you are a proud Democrat by fucking design.

• 1:43:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:51Speaker 03

  That is what's going on. You've taken the bait and now you hate people on the other side. You hate people who don't think like you and who aren't acting like you, your own boyfriend.

• 1:44:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, who you say you agree with on everything. So, yeah, have the conversation.

• 1:44:04Speaker 03

  You are creating walls rather bringing them down. Bring the Berlin Wall down. Have a conversation.

• 1:44:13Stavros Halkias?

  Bring it down.

• 1:44:13Speaker 03

  We have a lot more in common than we have difference.

• 1:44:17Stavros Halkias?

  I agree with that. Uh, yeah, absolutely. You could tell she's got that annoying like.

• 1:44:22Speaker 03

  That's terrible.

• 1:44:23Stavros Halkias?

  Voting's gonna solve everything, uh, you know, kind of that, that quality in her voice that like guilt, the guilting you about not voting.

• 1:44:32Speaker 03

  It's like I had an ex who was vegan. And so I told her I was vegan, but I was lying. I was vegan at the house. I've been kosher my whole life. So vegan at the house, kosher at the house. When I go back to my mother's when I wasn't kosher. Okay, I'm kosher in the house. What do I care? I wouldn't bring un-kosher food into the house.

• 1:44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:44:48Speaker 03

  So I'm like, okay.

• 1:44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:50Speaker 03

  And one, one day I had a trip. I was on the road. This is years ago and I came back and she wasn't home yet. I beat her home, probably by a few hours. I said, oh, I'm getting a steak. I picked up a little steak.

• 1:45:08Speaker 03

  I picked up a little

• 1:45:09Stavros Halkias?

  You cooked it in the house?

• 1:45:10Speaker 03

  A little kale, yeah, but she wasn't gonna be home till like minute, like

• 1:45:12Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 1:45:12Speaker 03

  We were texting on the way home, like her flight, like, I was like, perfect. On my way home, I'm gonna pick up a little steak, little kale, some garlic, get a dressing going. I made, I made the steak, three minutes one side, a little salt and pepper, three minutes one side, two minutes the other, medium, perfect.

• 1:45:28Stavros Halkias?

  Good stuff.

• 1:45:29Speaker 03

  Okay, I made my, my dressing for the side, I, I massaged the kale, massaged, massaged with oil. I put some Dijon, honey, garlic, lemon juice, made a nice dressing.

• 1:45:40Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful.

• 1:45:40Speaker 03

  Okay, threw it on, okay, had a little roll on the side, I bought French bread. She walks in, I, she, her flight wasn't something, it's like out of a movie, I was caught cheating. So, so, and I'm eating, I'm like

• 1:45:53Stavros Halkias?

  You're eating a

• 1:45:53Speaker 03

  And she's like, you're eating a cow, she comes in, yelling, she's like, you're killing a cow! You're killing a, don't you care that you're killing a cow? I'm like, bitch, I barely care if people die.

• 1:46:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:06Speaker 03

  Like, no offense, I have five brothers, if I lost one of them, I don't wanna lose any of them. If I lost one, I know I would move on and my life, no, I don't want to, but I have, I'm, I don't want to.

• 1:46:17Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 1:46:18Speaker 03

  But, I could move on and my life would rebuild, okay? Never mind a cow, I, I never even met, I have no rapport with, the approach to her

• 1:46:28Stavros Halkias?

  Did she, was she completely shocked?

• 1:46:31Speaker 03

  No, she was so mad at me, you're eating a cow!

• 1:46:33Stavros Halkias?

  Did she know you, you ate outside of the house?

• 1:46:36Speaker 03

  People have told her and this, you know, there's a couple of pictures and stories I'd been posted in, where it's like, I'm like, oh, it's, it's, it's a vegan pepperoni slice, you know, the pepper, it looks very realistic. No, they're doing great things.

• 1:46:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's mushroom.

• 1:46:50Speaker 03

  They're doing great things with the vegan pepperoni, I'm telling you.

• 1:46:54Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, whatever, good luck to this lady, just don't, just talk to them about it, see where you, see where you come from. You got something fun for us?

• 1:47:02Speaker 03

  Let's get a dialogue going.

• 1:47:03Stavros Halkias?

  You wanna go, Eldis?

• 1:47:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's send on a note of hope here.

• 1:47:06Speaker 03

  Oh, here we go, a note of hope.

• 1:47:11Speaker 14

  Hey Stav, hey Aldous, any guests? Um, I remember in one episode a while back, you said, if anybody has a success story from like the advice given on this podcast to call in.

• 1:47:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:47:23Speaker 14

  And I'm not a hundred percent sure if this is what you meant, when it comes to the lesson, but I hope it counts anyway. Um, so I'm 28, I'm bisexual, male.

• 1:47:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:47:34Speaker 14

  Uh, and I haven't had sex with any girls in like, three or four years.

• 1:47:38Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:47:38Speaker 14

  And it's really just because, uh,

• 1:47:41Speaker 03

  You're gay.

• 1:47:42Speaker 14

  Uh, like I really like getting my ass fucked.

• 1:47:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:47:44Speaker 14

  And I would say,

• 1:47:46Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:47:47Speaker 14

  I was having sex at like, a higher rate than my straight friends. But for, you know, essentially a gay man, I feel like, you know, I should have been doing way better.

• 1:47:58Stavros Halkias?

  You're a loser because gay guys fuck a lot, sure.

• 1:48:00Speaker 14

  I thought, because I live in like a pretty conservative city, I thought it was, you know, racism because I'm not white and I live in the white section, you know? But I saw your episode where, uh, the guy called in and said that like, hey, nobody wants to fuck me because I prefer to use condoms and I'm not on prep.

• 1:48:19Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:48:19Speaker 14

  Uh, and I realized like, oh my God. Like, you said in your advice to him was like, put in your bio like, listen, I'm only comfortable using condoms or whatever. And that's what I had. So I realized like, okay, I got a fucking prep prescription and I've been getting this fucking pussy torn open. Life is so fucking good. Uh, I hope that this brings you joy and like, I hope

• 1:48:44Speaker 03

  It brought him a lot of joy.

• 1:48:45Speaker 14

  This counts, you know, in terms of feels good. Uh, literally, I just had three guys leave my apartment. I took like four loads and one in the face and we did unspeakable things by God.

• 1:48:58Stavros Halkias?

  Um, that's the ones you told us about.

• 1:49:00Speaker 14

  To the advice of your podcast, so.

• 1:49:02Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:49:03Speaker 14

  Really huge thank you, Stavi.

• 1:49:04Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, man.

• 1:49:05Speaker 14

  If this makes the episode, I'll die. Um,

• 1:49:07Stavros Halkias?

  It did make the episode. Congratulations.

• 1:49:09Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Is that a feel-good story?

• 1:49:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:13Speaker 03

  Is that a feel-good story? He took four loads? Is that an unbelievable story?

• 1:49:20Stavros Halkias?

  All thanks to us

• 1:49:22Speaker 03

  Now I'll say this.

• 1:49:23Stavros Halkias?

  Making fun of a guy who wanted to use condoms on another episode.

• 1:49:26Speaker 03

  Oh, that's a feel-good story. I'll say this, I wish you well and leave women alone. I'll say that. I'll tell you, the bisexual is over, okay? You leave women alone and you have yourself a good time. Wish you well.

• 1:49:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's beautiful. That's a beautiful sentiment to end on, I think. Congrats to our friend for getting his ass fucked way more. Equal accomplishment. Congrats to Robbie with her Netflix special out. I think it's neck and neck.

• 1:49:58Speaker 03

  Wake up only on Netflix. I am Robby Hoffman on Instagram. Thank you so much.

• 1:50:03Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you for doing it. It was so fun. Yeah, go watch the special and we will see you guys next time. Bye bye.

• 1:50:12Speaker 03

  Also be on tour, I forgot to say. If you want to continue to add. I'll be on tour. I forget about it.

• 1:50:17Stavros Halkias?

  Just turn it off.

• 1:50:19Speaker 03

  And you can add it. I'll also be on tour, but I don't know if it's gonna be sold out. I'm only doing eight dates. People go, "Oh shit, you're not coming." No, because I can't wear out.

• 1:50:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:28Speaker 03

  I do a lot when I perform. I do a lot and you're getting a great show. And no, I don't add more shows. I'm not, whatever the shows are, they are. And by the time you're watching this, they might be sold out. There's only two cities we would add a second show in New York and Toronto potentially. But I mean, I've said no. So maybe we didn't add them. So if you're watching and you go, it's possible. I don't like to wear out. I like to give a good show and then I like to get a snack and go to bed.

• 1:50:57Stavros Halkias?

  I respect that. I wish I drew further boundaries. We'll be on tour for eternity, pretty much. But yeah, see us on tour, see Robby on tour.

• 1:51:07Speaker 03

  You take a bus?

• 1:51:08Stavros Halkias?

  We just started doing a bus this time.

• 1:51:09Speaker 03

  How's a bus? I do wonder. Oh, really?

• 1:51:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's the best. It depends on how you, we sleep like babies on it. Some people can't sleep.

• 1:51:15Speaker 03

  No, it's supposed to be very good for sleep, rocking.

• 1:51:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, it's incredible.

• 1:51:18Speaker 03

  Cause I always, as a child, I fell asleep in a car or on a bus all the time.

• 1:51:22Stavros Halkias?

  Then I think you'll love it and it'll be a way for you. I think you'll be able to add more shows.

• 1:51:26Speaker 03

  You do more, right? I do think a bus is way less hectic than airports.

• 1:51:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, airports are brutal. So something to think about. Go see her, go watch the special. We'll see you guys next time. Bye bye.

• 1:51:51Speaker 15

  Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting. About coordinating another meeting. To prepare for the pre-meeting. Ahead of the follow-up meeting. Which will, of course, require a recap meeting.

• 1:52:09Speaker 15

  And then, another meeting. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest. In airplane mode.

• 1:52:18Speaker 16

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