Bonus #147 - Cheeks Brothers Vol. 1: In the Valley of the Kush [PATREON PREVIEW]

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Consigliere and spiritual guide of Stavvy Baby Enterprises, Mr. Cheeks AKA The Cheeksman, returns to usher Stav and Eldis to the mystical Valley of the Kush. In this exciting new subseries, unlike any other done before on the pod, the boys go to The Cheeks Zone, but with kush a la Kush Brothers, to discuss questions that have confounded man for all of time (what is light?), explore formative childhood experiences, and talk about who beat who in Mario Tennis and Mario Kart. Mr. Cheeks, Stav and Eldy help callers including a guy who really hates his coworker’s aspiring cop boyfriend, and an Albanian who wants to protect his son from viral Albanian conspiracies like the meme that George Washington was Albanian. Check out Ben O'Brien's beautiful creative direction at stavvy.biz and Stav's accounts. Follow Ben on social media: https://www.instagram.com/benfobrien/ https://twitter.com/benfobrien Follow Eldis Sula on social media: https://www.instagram.com/eldissula/ https://twitter.com/eldissula 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:41Speaker 00

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• 0:53Speaker 01

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Hi, Stavi. Big fan. Super excited to get to call you today. It was something that I think is kind of fun. So I recently discovered through a guy that I was dating that I might have a special kind of niche kink. I am a big girl, BBW, and I like having my belly played with. And I also like being fed, like hand-fed yummy, yummy treats.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  It's weird because I was never into this before, and now it's pretty much like mostly what I care about. And I want to date, and in fact, I am in the early stages of seeing someone, and I haven't told him anything about this yet. We've been on six dates, we haven't had sex, you know, we've made out a little bit, but that's about it. Six dates.

• 2:22Stavros Halkias?

  You're free, you're an undercover freak? And you haven't even so much as suck dick in six dates?

• 2:28Speaker 04

  I feel like that's common.

• 2:29Stavros Halkias?

  To not fucking six dates?

• 2:31Speaker 04

  Some people just have a harder shell. And once you get past it, then they're like.

• 2:34Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, but I'm saying six.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Six is a lot. Six is a lot.

• 2:37Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, am I being a prude here?

• 2:39Speaker 04

  No, I don't think it's prudish.

• 2:40Stavros Halkias?

  I think six is when it starts getting, I would even say, I would, five to me is kinda like a reasonable. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, especially it's like, I mean, maybe these are very casual dates.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, you could be counting like the coffee you got or whatever.

• 2:53Stavros Halkias?

  Six is like.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  We'll give the benefit of the doubt.

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  Six that we've only made out a little is a little strange. Cause I could see like going on a couple of dates, making out, not fucking whatever, but.

• 3:02Speaker 05

  I agree with you. She does touch on, she does hammer her helmet a little bit more.

• 3:06Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going.

• 3:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, let's just hear her out.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Very shy, very sweet, super like skinny nerdy guy, exactly what I'm into.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, I mean, this is.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  But.

• 3:16Stavros Halkias?

  Pause this. I've seen these women at the anime club. A lot.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:22Stavros Halkias?

  Jack Skellington in a nice BBW.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  That's my favorite.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  I love that combo, dude. And I get it, dude. I get it. I've said, I've often talked about, you know, the two belly problem.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:33Stavros Halkias?

  You, we all know Netflix's hit adaptation of the book, The Three Body Problem.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  But do we know about the Stavros Halkias? Theory of why it's hard to fuck other fat people called the two belly problem? Especially when your dick's little. So anyway, I'll, he can get in there like a pipe cleaner. And really, and really, really, and really, really get in those cheeks. So I love this. This is very cute. This is a cute, uh, couple. Keep going, Eld.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  At me bringing up this kink is going to be like a lot for him. Um, so I wondered if you had like any ideas as to how I could broach the subject with him? Um, especially since we haven't like had sex at all yet. Um, it is really important to me. It's not something that I can just like forget and like not, uh, partake in. Uh, it's a huge part of my sexuality now. So, uh, yeah, if you have any recommendations on how to get this man to feed me and or jiggle my belly.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, yes, dude.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  That would be awesome.

• 4:34Stavros Halkias?

  She's a fucking Sultan sexual. She's a Buddha sexual. She needs to get her belly rubbed to nut.

• 4:39Speaker 05

  That's awesome. So that's, that's what I was gonna say. For starters, um.

• 4:46Speaker 05

  You know, she, she has, it's been six dates, they haven't fucked, but it sounds like for her, this is like changed her fucking sexual life.

• 4:56Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, absolutely.

• 4:57Speaker 05

  And she can't even like think about getting intimate.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  Origin story, what happened?

• 5:00Speaker 05

  I know, we do, we do definitely need more.

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  She's getting, she's getting railed, the guy like bumps his head, there's some Reese's pieces on the shelf, they fall into her mouth, and she's like, oh, he's like, are you okay? Are you all right? And then she's nuts even harder, maybe that's what happened.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  It feels like, it does feel like child, like, like kinda.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right elders? Hold on, hold on, right elders?

• 5:19Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 5:21Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 5:21Speaker 05

  That's very possible.

• 5:23Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. Ben, go ahead. You think it's connected to childhood?

• 5:26Speaker 04

  I think it's, it is like being fed, being kinda tickled.

• 5:29Stavros Halkias?

  Cared for, tickled, I mean, that's a very, a cared for child, fat child.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Yes, yeah.

• 5:35Stavros Halkias?

  Was definitely getting, like for me, it was, I getting my cheeks pinched.

• 5:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:41Stavros Halkias?

  Very interesting, I want, fed doesn't, doesn't, I don't get it, but I, I gotta say, I do kinda like when a bad bitch rubs my belly.

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:48Stavros Halkias?

  Not like, not even like it helps me not, but I'm just like, this is cool.

• 5:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  I like this feeling.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that it's, it's an interesting question because it is weird to talk with someone about that before, like if you've only made out, I think that's what the wall here is, it's like you have to go a little bit into that water.

• 6:08Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  And then kind of like get a sense of, you'll get a sense better, like sometimes you, you start hooking up with someone and it's instantly, you're like, oh, you're a freak.

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  You get that vibe, I feel like you have to hook up a little bit and still take it slow, but then just kind of like after you've had that experience, then you can be like, what are you into? Like, I just need you to know I'm into this.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  You lay the base, you lay the base, the sexual like, you know.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  Foundation.

• 6:34Stavros Halkias?

  Foundation down, and then, cause I think that's common, even if you would, even if, even if you're somebody who fucks on the first date, or the second or third date, it's like, which, whenever the first encounter happens, you don't come out guns fucking blazing.

• 6:48Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 6:48Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Even if you're into, even if you're a real fucking freak, you might be a little freakier than someone who's not, but you don't give him the full. The full ever, you might hint towards it.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:58Stavros Halkias?

  And maybe you might react more if he happens to rub your belly or some shit, but like, you gotta lay the sexual foundation, you gotta feel comfortable. Cause you might also get a vibe, I mean, some of this is physical too, right? Like, you might just catch a vibe that helps you understand how to, or things might happen, uh, naturally, there might be some.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  And a lot of people, I mean, a lot of people's turn on is just what turns the other person on.

• 7:21Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  So there's a lot of, I feel like there's a ton of people that would be.

• 7:24Stavros Halkias?

  Especially a skinny nerdy, skinny nerdy dude.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're, you're very, it's possible that it's either that, he just wants to make you feel good no matter what. Or could, sometimes you hear about like shy people being the biggest freaks.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  Especially these fucking gamer guys.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  It makes sense, it's like.

• 7:41Stavros Halkias?

  It might be into some weird shit.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  It's kinda heavy, it's big stuff.

• 7:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:44Speaker 04

  So it kinda feels like I wanna trust you before.

• 7:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right, true, true, true, true, true.

• 7:48Speaker 05

  I know, that's what I'm wondering, it's like, what, so she just can't fuck anymore? Absolutely not if she can't do this shit, or it's like, just fuck the guy one time.

• 7:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, I know, I think, I think what I'm hearing here is that, I mean, she's been on six dates with this person. She seems to really like him, and it's enough for her to stay in the game.

• 8:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:06Stavros Halkias?

  You know, so it seems like she wants it to work with this guy. And so her worry is like, if this was somebody she's probably hooking up with, she'd probably ask them to do it, if they said no, she'd be like hit the bricks. But for her, it's like, I, this is a new deal breaker for me.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:22Stavros Halkias?

  She's just found out what she has to have sexually, right? Which, good for you, sister, if we could all be so lucky. Uh, and she's kinda wants to make sure like, if he's not into, he's not into it, but I don't wanna blow it because of the way I tell it to him. I think that's her worry.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  I actually do think in this situation, if it's so important to you, you are going a little too slow. In a sense, because it's like, you actually kinda have to know a little bit before you get invested.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  If you're sexually, yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  So you might need to like, check it out.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  You should fuck soon, definitely.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Earlier or later.

• 8:54Stavros Halkias?

  You need to fuck this guy soon and lay the sexual foundation.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  And then you can talk about it.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:00Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I suppose, some people when they wait that long, might wanna have a conversation beforehand, right? Like, um, and you can kinda start with, I mean, I feel like the belly rub's not even a tough ask.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 9:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's food fair, that sounds hot.

• 9:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:18Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, the feeding is closer to weird than the belly rub, I think.

• 9:24Speaker 05

  I know a couple of eclairs on the side of the bed don't sound so bad to me.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  What are we feeding?

• 9:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't feel, listen, I'm not mad, let me say, let me tell you something. I'm getting my dick sucked and a girl hands me a donut. You think I'm getting pissed off at that? I'm just saying, I can't imagine sitting down and being like, you gotta feed me mozzarella sticks. Or you gotta go. Like, I can't imagine that, right?

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Well, you're already asking so much of the woman to just be there with you naked.

• 9:51Stavros Halkias?

  Just to fuck me immediately, yeah, just that.

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  So, but anyway, I just see, I feel like a rub on a body part is so clat, like, whatever. Even if it's like clearly some, you know, rub me, rub my fat, whatever. It's like, people are into that. People are into getting so many different parts of their bodies rubbed. Where I feel like that could happen pretty fast without it even needing to be a whole conversation. You could just be like, could you rub me like, what, you know, what, you know, just tell someone where to touch you.

• 10:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's always nice when somebody gives you directions.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:21Stavros Halkias?

  I have no problem with that.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  When, you know, somebody knows exactly, like, you gotta squeeze her left tit at a certain, you know, angled, you know, whatever, like, whenever somebody knows their shit, that's good. And then I think you just go off of that and then see where you, you could be like, you know what else I like? And start small, don't go with the party sub right away. Don't get the fucking Subway hoagie. You know what I mean? Start with a couple cherries, some classic strawberry cherry.

• 10:50Speaker 05

  A bonbon.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  What's that?

• 10:52Speaker 05

  A little bonbon, a truffle or something.

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  Truffle whipped cream. Let's start there, let's start in the, and then we can say, alright, get a kielbasa. Get the fucking grill going.

• 11:03Speaker 05

  Get the crab dip.

• 11:07Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, let's get a, let's get a Manhattan clam chowder out here.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  The Pillsbury Doughboy, maybe.

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  Huh?

• 11:14Speaker 04

  The Pillsbury Doughboy.

• 11:16Stavros Halkias?

  What about him?

• 11:16Speaker 04

  He likes to get tick, he likes to get his belly poked.

• 11:18Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, I would, if you don't thi, oh yeah. If you don't think I got hoo-hooed, that was maybe one of my first people poking me. First bit that popped was going, hoo-hoo. I dressed as the Doughboy one year.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  That was the legendary year Eldis was dressed as Bill Clinton getting head from Monica Lewinsky.

• 11:39Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:40Stavros Halkias?

  My mom was always talking about it before my mom was flabbergasted. How old were you? We were young, dude.

• 11:45Speaker 05

  This was third grade, maybe fourth grade.

• 11:48Stavros Halkias?

  It was of him getting head? Well, he had a, we talked about it before, but whatever, fuck you guys. This is what happens in the, when your cheeks brothers, deep in the valley of Kush.

• 11:58Stavros Halkias?

  Deep in the valley of the Kush, volume one.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

  His, he had a mask that had like, there was clearly a Bill Clinton with his tongue out like.

• 12:08Speaker 05

  It was a rubber Bill Clinton mask, his hair was all must up.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  His hair was muffed up.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  He had like lipstick kisses all over his face. He's just had a wild little face with his tongue sticking out.

• 12:18Stavros Halkias?

  So Elders got that.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  So I had that mask and then I just put on a suit. I like untucked one side of it. I like disheveled the thigh.

• 12:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he was dressed like a guy who gets head in a suit.

• 12:29Speaker 05

  And you know, one half was like out of my pants.

• 12:32Stavros Halkias?

  Your zipper was down.

• 12:33Speaker 05

  The other half was like popping out of the zipper of the shirt.

• 12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 05

  And yeah, I was like trick or treating like that this year.

• 12:41Stavros Halkias?

  And my mom was like horrified, dude.

• 12:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, I don't understand. And she, you know.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  I remember.

• 12:47Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think our moms ever had an disagreement ever, except for my mom being like, completely taken aback that we were like not, like I remember the conversation and my dad laughing. My dad being like, and my mom being like, why would a child want to have that as a costume?

• 13:06Speaker 05

  I thought it was so awesome.

• 13:07Stavros Halkias?

  And it was.

• 13:08Speaker 05

  I was like, this is hilarious.

• 13:09Stavros Halkias?

  We also didn't know what getting your dick sucked. We just kind of knew he had sex. And you knew that adults were making fun of him. We just knew that adults would get naked with the, you know.

• 13:17Speaker 05

  And my parents did think it was like a hoot. They loved it.

• 13:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 05

  They're like, oh, that's so funny.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

  It is pretty funny. It is very funny.

• 13:23Speaker 05

  It's like bod, bodri immigrant humor attitude towards like sex.

• 13:27Stavros Halkias?

  It really, really, there's so, so few times where I feel like we had different experiences, but that's when you show that you're the sub level of the Titanic. That you were, you know what I mean? You were right next to the boilers. And I was, I was still under, below deck. Don't get me wrong. I don't get to be up top, but I was just like.

• 13:46Speaker 05

  Oh, God.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, Inc.

• 14:20Speaker 06

  Meeting new people just got way more fun because now you don't have to do it alone. With Tinder's new Double Date feature, you and your bestie can match together. Tap the Double Date icon to see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the group chat kicks off. Scope the profiles, send memes, keep the chat fun. Hype each other up, flirt a little, maybe plan a hang. It's always better when you're in it together. Try the new Tinder Double Date. Explore all the possibilities. Tinder: It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.