#132 - Joe List

Dear friend Joe List returns to the pod to discuss his new special SMALL BALL, the etymology of his favorite Japanese word, how awesome it is to chill with his son, how AI will crush us, watching children's shows, and much more. Joe and Stav help callers including a guy who doesn't want to invite his alcoholic friend to his wedding, and a college student who's worried about getting caught for using AI to write papers. Watch Joe List's new special SMALL BALL out now on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXAEFZ-z_ns See Joe List live and follow him on social media: https://www.comedianjoelist.com/ https://www.facebook.com/comedianjoelist/ https://www.instagram.com/joelistcomedy/ https://twitter.com/JoeListComedy/ 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. Start your morning with the $6 Mcgriddle's Extra Value Meal. Featuring your choice of a sausage, egg and cheese Mcgriddle's or bacon, egg and cheese Mcgriddle's. Plus crispy hash browns and a small premium roast coffee. Sweet, savory, crispy and caffeinated. It's everything your morning ordered, all for just $6. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing at participating McDonald's.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  At Lowe's, this Veterans Day and every day, military members, veterans and their spouses get automatic Milo's Rewards Silver Status Benefits. Plus 10% off eligible purchases with no annual limit. It's one way we honor and give back to those who have served and still do. Learn more and verify now at Lowe's.com/military. 10% discount can't be combined with another offer. Exclusions, terms and conditions apply. Loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details at Lowe's.com/terms. Subject to change.

• 0:54Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody to Stop His World. 904-800-STOP. Call in and we'll solve all your problems. Returning one of our favorites, Big Joe List, baby. How we doing? My new nickname. Big Joe.

• 1:10Stavros Halkias?

  Biggie, biggie, biggie. This is my favorite show to do. Can I tell you that? I love that. Number one favorite podcast to do. That makes me feel good. List and Are You Garbage? You're one... Then we might be drunk. Yeah, yeah, okay. And Rogan.

• 1:22Stavros Halkias?

  Rogan, Rogan won. Now I know you're fucking lying.

• 1:27Stavros Halkias?

  Let's go for it. Let's go three hours. Spending three hours nervously trying to not say anything about immigrants?

• 1:33Stavros Halkias?

  They're not trying to get clamped agreeing with something fucked up? I still... You write Twitter, Joe List, Joe Rogan. There's still every day 15 minute worst guest of all time. He blew it. He sucks. He folded. He fucking stinks. The show is fun, but you do three hours and there's like an hour and a half, which is what a podcast should be, that's awesome. And then you're high as shit and you're like, "Did I say eugenics is good?" You know what I mean? Like I've smoked a joint and I'm like, "What did I just nod along with?" Because I'm not, I'm trying to not be high. I'm not even smoking joint. I'm just there and playing YouTube videos. I'm like, "Whoa, crazy."

• 2:14Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, we did love, we did about forty, one of my, I do like, uh, the, on one of my episodes, we did about forty minutes on squirting, and we looked at real scientific evidence, you know, we look, we Is squirting real? I, I've on the record as saying that I think it's different than piss, uh, But it's mixed with piss. Well, that's the thing, that's like saying Kool-Aid is water, you know what I mean? Oh. I think it has a little, some extra. That's deep. Thank you, you know what I mean, like, yes, you put some, you put a little Kool-Aid in water, it becomes a different thing. You put some squirt concentrate in piss, it becomes squirt, but that's my philosophy. But why does some women do it and some don't? Just. Some can't.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  You know, different, uh, shapes in, in her pussy shapes, I think, I think it's purely mechanical. Shapes? I think so, I think their pussies are shaped, by the way, you know, we've immediately gotten demised, it's been ninety seconds, we've said squirting, uh, anyway, who gives a Reverse bukkake is my biggest fantasy. You wanna be reverse bukkake? Yeah, bad, yeah, badly, that's my fa- I, I don't watch a lot of porn, but when I do, I go straight to reverse bukkake. How mu- I, I imagine there's maybe eight of those videos, you've must have seen them all. You're out of your mind. Really? Yeah, it's a couple thousand, I found one where it's just male women, it's like male carriers. Oh, I thought you were, I thought you were like, it's just male women. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  I realized that sound, that was, maybe that was a Freudian slip. I found it where it's a guy, and the guys are jacking off on him. And their squirt is like white? It's white, and it's stinky, and it looks so much more delicious to me than women's for some reason. No, reverse bukkake's, they're all lined up and calling you a little bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanna be dominated. Interesting. By you and Eldis. We don't have it in us, I don't think me and Eldis could, that'd be so funny if we had to tag team someone. I got a lot of spunk for you, Joe. Actually, that's true. Spunk is You know what's fucked up, actually, what would happen is Eldis's animal would take over. I don't like, Eldis locks into a way he talks about sex that even makes me, his famously horny

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  and best friend of 30 years, even makes me like, oh, Jesus, Eldis, relax.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  There's certain people, my friend, I don't, I feel like I'm always poking fun of my dear friend Ronan Hirschberg, but he's a guy that likes to tell you what he's jerking off to, and it just makes me very unsettled. Even though I talked about reverse cocky, but we're being silly geese. I mean, I just feel like I jerked off to her today, and like, real deadpan eyes, and you're like, Jesus Christ.

• 4:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you don't want to think of Ronan, you, if you saw a close up of Ronan's face while he was jacking off, his jowls are moving, he's dead eyed, you know, because I've, I've contained, and I've told this to his face, much fatter face than body, so just thinking of him jacking off, you think of his fat face.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  But if he had a nice, maybe he's in a nice little midsection, I wonder what his penis looks like.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  I find it so hard to think about comedians fucking. And I brought this up to Mark Norman, he's the one that's, it's the hardest to think about, because he's rubbing his chin and being like, I'm coming.

• 5:18Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, jizz.

• 5:21Stavros Halkias?

  Cum shot. She's nutting.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  You can come, but you can't go.

• 5:25Stavros Halkias?

  I'm coming, am I going?

• 5:29Speaker 03

  I just picture the woman being like, oh my God, I thought the body was-

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, but does yes mean the yes?

• 5:35Speaker 03

  She's like, I wanted to see his abs, but now I gotta deal with this. He's got a foot up on the stool.

• 5:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, doing this while he's getting head, oh, I thought it'd be better.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  He's like, praise Allah.

• 5:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I don't know, was this worth cheating on my wife?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Norman doesn't cheat on his wife, I think that's important to say.

• 5:59Stavros Halkias?

  No, he doesn't.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  I don't want to.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  No, but it's a fun, it's fun to think of him being like, oh, mistake.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  I said I wouldn't, but now I am.

• 6:11Stavros Halkias?

  I know, he doesn't cheat, he's not Chris DiStefano, he's a good guy. No, that's, he's Italian.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 6:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we can assume, yeah, yeah. No, Chris is, uh, I do love accusing him of being a piece of shit. I saw him yesterday at Sam's house, actually.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  Oh, I was gonna go, and then I got fucking caught up. What's been, it's hard about throwing a basketball apart and then your team loses and you're just a bummer to be around.

• 6:32Stavros Halkias?

  Really tough, really tough, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  I wanted to go, was it a good group?

• 6:37Stavros Halkias?

  Fun group, nice little hang. Um, our boys JP, Ian Lara, lot of good, lot of good people were over there.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Love Ian Lara.

• 6:45Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Low-key loves to really argue. I don't wanna get too inside-baseball, people don't know who the fuck Ian Lara is, but that guy-

• 6:51Stavros Halkias?

  We were talking about all our friends jacking off and fucking and-

• 6:53Speaker 03

  He's one of those guys, though, he likes to debate. Like, before you know it, you're just in a shouting match. He's not unlike you, I bet you your two would really go at it.

• 7:00Stavros Halkias?

  We had a great time on the road, yeah, yeah. Cause we would get locked in, but always good, always good stuff. Um, but yeah, great group, had too much pizza, I'm trying to be, trying to be a good boy, but-

• 7:11Speaker 03

  I just had two slices myself.

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  Sam comes through, he's got a whole, and no one's eating that many slice. It's like comedians are like, you know, I don't even know, the, the other half of the people are just like a band and like their hot girlfriends who maybe like have a quarter-

• 7:26Speaker 03

  At Sam's house?

• 7:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Who's the band?

• 7:28Stavros Halkias?

  He's got friends who are in a band, they were cool.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  That's gross.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'm just saying, it's either half scavenger comics who are gonna eat four slices-

• 7:35Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 7:36Stavros Halkias?

  Or half people that don't eat pizza, so there's always some leftover, and then you're like, alright, well. You take the ones, you do one slice and kinda see-

• 7:44Speaker 03

  Absolutely, do a lap.

• 7:45Stavros Halkias?

  You do a lap, quickly you do two. Two's totally fine, right?

• 7:48Speaker 03

  Two's appropriate.

• 7:49Stavros Halkias?

  You take one, you take two, and then you give it maybe eight minutes, nine minutes.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Six, whatever.

• 7:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, see, just see, and if, and when you see the pizza disappearing at a slow rate, you're like, ooh, we're in range for four.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  And then, yeah, and then you gotta do it kinda like, so it's not, it, man, I'm gonna, okay, I'll just, yeah, I'll just kinda, you're just kinda slowly sneak it over.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  And he gets cheese and pep, classic, that's what you gotta do with a big group. And then, so I have, I'm on three, right?

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  And then I noticed there's a supreme pizza, too.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  What's, that's got all the shit on it?

• 8:21Stavros Halkias?

  All the shit on it, and I don't even like that, but to me, I'm like, well, no one's touched it.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  I've had the other ones, I'm not gonna get another one of those, but now, at this point, I'm like worried about Sam. Sam doesn't want all this pizza in his house.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  This is how I am with pussy. I'm like, I've had a couple classics. I never had a male woman.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Let me see what it's all about.

• 8:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure. Male woman's nice. Circle back that they're all wearing like USPS, like a uniform, they're wearing the little blue shorts and like.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I made it up. I bet you could find it. I bet you could find something like that. That was where my head went was male carriers.

• 9:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, interesting. I thought it was real.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  It could be real. I mean, I don't know if you can do a quick search. I mean, if you want to go to Pornhub, I bet you could find. Yeah, letter carrier, Bukkake.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think you can find letter carrier Bukkake, although the fantasy of a male, your male woman. Post office porn.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  This is an adult website. Ah, fuck, we can't go in. Oh my god.

• 9:22Stavros Halkias?

  Looks pretty good. None of this is post office, by the way. It's just hot women getting fucked. Wait, go down. Is that the go from, is that the? Someone's done AI of Zootopia and it's go down. It's the Zootopia bunny sucking a real guy's dick.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  A huge dick. What is Zootopia? And what is that dick?

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's a like children's, oh no.

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, just get out of here, dude. X out. We're done.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  There has to be male woman porn, though. There is, I'm sure.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sure.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  She shows up with the bag of bills. I can't afford these, whatever.

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, well, I just deliver it. It's like, well, can I fuck you anyway?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Why does she care?

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, man, just my job. I'll suck your dick. I am a whore, but it's not gonna help you with the bills at all.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  We should get into porn. I think it'd be fun to write porn that's never been made. Well, now, and I assume this must for sure exist. We watch Miss Rachel. I have a baby, so it's Miss Rachel all day. There's gotta be Miss Rachel porn.

• 10:22Stavros Halkias?

  Unfortunately, there definitely is.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's because it's pink headband and but they should have the peripheral characters. I bet there is.

• 10:30Stavros Halkias?

  There probably is.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  And it's, it's for dads. Well, this is the thing, because I watch Miss Rachel all day. Not all day, but you know, a half hour a day, every day. So you just have to come up with something. So I'm like, I guess I could fuck her. Or like, all the characters, you're like, I could be into that.

• 10:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right. There's other characters, I'm not, I don't have a child, I'm not familiar.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  There, there's other, not characters, but she has like buddies around. It's all her kind of, I think, theatre-y people.

• 10:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  And her husband's on there, too.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's hilarious to be, that's fun, though. She's, she's putting her friends on. She's like, alright, man, that's like the equivalent of like, opening for your friends is like, alright, man, you wanna play a lion in my children's YouTube series?

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I think she's hot.

• 11:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. She's hot. Good politics. Shout out to Miss Rachel.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  I disagree there, but...

• 11:14Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about? Oh, you're pro, you're pro genocide?

• 11:19Speaker 03

  I'm pro war when it's necessary.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  We're back!

• 11:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's so funny. She did, she did a video with a child that had amputated.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Had her arms blown off and like...

• 11:35Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, when you're on the side that thinks it's bad for a child who had its legs blown off to be happy for one afternoon, you're the bad guy. Like, no matter what it is, if you're like, hey, hey, we need more context for a child that was maimed to smile.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  She's like, ear to ear.

• 11:54Stavros Halkias?

  The happiest this baby's been for, in her entire life. But shout out to Miss Rachel, I hope they're not making too much pornography of you out there, but they probably are, unfortunately.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's not her, it's just people wearing pink headbands, I imagine. And talking like, blow me!

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's really fucked up, because you're right, it is dads, but it's also guys that wanna be like infantilized. Like, I bet you there's like, they change, it's like a Miss Rachel stand-in, like, "It's time to change your stinky diaper." You know, and it's like, ooh, what do we got here? There's definitely diaper guys that are into that level of thing. I mean, I guess they've, I've seen like... Cartoons they make porn of that feels fucked up. I guess it's just that it's a real person. Cause there's definitely SpongeBob.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 12:39Stavros Halkias?

  Out there.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Well, there's Seinfeld porn, and I know that because everyone ever has sent it to me.

• 12:43Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Cause I'm always talking about how hot Elaine is. And then people think like, oh dude, I got a solution.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Check this out. And I'm like, but that's not truly who he drives.

• 12:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's a lady that, you know, with a pierced clit and a weird curly wig.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Just like a bald guy fucking her. That's not what I want.

• 12:59Stavros Halkias?

  And the George, I believe the George they used for that had a clearly shaved his head in a funny way that wasn't. It was kind of, it was like stubbly, like it was so clear. Uh, Jerry had a bad wig on that one. I've seen that one, this, but you know what I don't like? They, I believe it was called This Ain't Seinfeld XXX, a porn parody. And they were doing that when it's like back in the day. You had a little fun with it. Call it Sexfeld. I mean, that's just right off the top.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 13:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like my, we've talked about a lot on this podcast, but my, me and my brothers found a porno VHS that we assume was my father's that was called like Loose Times at Ridgely High. And it was a Fast Times parody, you know?

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Then there was, Forest Humps was a big one.

• 13:41Stavros Halkias?

  Forest Humps is Edward Penis Hands.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:44Stavros Halkias?

  Like, we got a name, like, they were doing for a while. Who's Nailing Palin was maybe the last good one, although that's not really a spinoff of intellectual property. It's more, you know, just a play off the name, but I, but look it up. Was it called This Ain't Seinfeld XXX? Probably was.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Let me try to think of some good Seinfeld ones.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  Not does anything right with this.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  A triple X parody. I mean, you're not even fucking trying, dude. Yeah, I mean, look.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. That looks like you.

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Elaine looks pretty hot.

• 14:18Stavros Halkias?

  Elaine looks hot, but she also looks, you know, Puerto Rican perhaps? Which, you know, Kramer's hilarious because he's shorter than George somehow, but he's got big ass hair.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  But Jerry is dead on.

• 14:29Stavros Halkias?

  Jerry's James Dean famously, I believe.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  What do you mean, James Dean?

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's the guy's name.

• 14:35Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, go back, let's look up who played Elaine in This Ain't, just, you know, just for scientific purposes.

• 14:44Stavros Halkias?

  You know, do a little, maybe get a little faster. Sasha Grey? No, I think she had a smaller part. Anyway, whatever. Go down. Oh, there was one called The Porn Nazi. I like that. Oh, Porn Nazi's good. They're attempting to purchase porn from a man known as The Porn Nazi. Wait, running time, 143 minutes? Longer than Goodfellas. You gotta be kidding me.

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, alright, that's an, oh Christina Rose apparently played Elaine. See, you know, I have nothing, obviously I've beat off to many Latinas. I think they're beautiful, but it's like, we couldn't get a Elaine, Elaine had to be Latina? This is the real. Seems like lazy casting. This is the real, she looks Asian to me. No, she's Latina, for sure. Look at her eyes. Alright, well, I think, you know, that she can have, Latinas can have. Look at her, look at her, uh, etymology, whatever. This woman's as Asian as my father. Cause you know what I just did? I did the thing nerds do when they like, cast a, a black person as like a superhero. There can't be a black little mermaid. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, I'm like, yeah. There can't be a Latina poor Elaine getting fucked. Latina Elaine getting sucking dick. I literally turned into the. They're taking the white people's jobs.

• 15:54Stavros Halkias?

  Look, it's, it's taking me out. If I'm supposed to jack off to Elaine, I would definitely jack off to this woman Christina Rose, but you know. Look at Tracy Quinn Perez from San Diego. She's Asian.

• 16:10Stavros Halkias?

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• 16:52Stavros Halkias?

  and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOVE. Terms apply. Ah, November, what a month. The whole, everything you've been doing all year comes to roost. You're coming right into the holidays, it's getting cold. Why not have a little questionable, little treat in between lunch and dinner? Why not overstuffed the calendar with fun, with family obligations, holiday parties? So much chaos going on? That's where AG1 earns its spot. Not when life is easy and you got time for a whole routine. Right now, when everything is full and something has to give. One scoop covers what a full stack of separate supplements would.

• 17:31Stavros Halkias?

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• 18:16Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, well, you came on here to promote your special. This will get demonetized immediately, so. I'm okay with that. Yeah, yeah, me too. It's just a good episode. Small Ball? Small Ball is the special. It's out now. It's out by now. On YouTube, yeah, it's on YouTube. My fourth special. I can't wait to see it, it looks so funny. And my special in order, they have 10 million views, 3 million views, 1 million views. So I'm hoping to have 50,000 by the time.

• 18:45Stavros Halkias?

  Just a nice, steady ski slope of success.

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  I would contend that is the fault of YouTube. It used to be a great place for stand-up specials and they have completely destroyed the ecosystem with like censoring shit, demonetizing shit, and also too many people.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Too many people.

• 19:04Stavros Halkias?

  Horrific, you know, what, they put a fucking camera on a stool and they're like, "It's my special!" And it's like, alright, man.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Well, the first one also was on Comedy Central's page and they have however many million followers and it was COVID.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  So that helped. And, yeah, most people hadn't done YouTube specials at the time.

• 19:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  And then the last one, I said cunt in it. And they told me that was fine and then they were like, "Just kidding."

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  And I was like, "Well, I would have bleeped it."

• 19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that destroys, you know, part of my livelihood, probably. That probably knocks me down a couple pegs.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  It was a bummer. But what can you do?

• 19:36Stavros Halkias?

  What can you do?

• 19:38Speaker 03

  But yeah, it's out.

• 19:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's out. It's hilarious. Looks great.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  You gotta thank you, buddy.

• 19:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah. Thank you. Thank you for thanking me.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  You too, Eldis. It's dedicated to you. Says, "R.I.P. Eldis."

• 19:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Eighty-five, two thousand twenty-six.

• 19:55Stavros Halkias?

  Quote, "It's probably by now."

• 20:01Stavros Halkias?

  It looks great and I like the way you shot it because it was in-

• 20:03Speaker 03

  I used your guys.

• 20:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I saw, I saw his name. I saw our boy, Mr. Rockefeller.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Derek and Willie.

• 20:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Derek and Willie. Shout out to Originator. They did a great job on, you know, Live at, or no, sorry. We did Live at the Lodge Room. Which one was it? Fat Rascal?

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Fat Rascal.

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  But they're great. And it looks great. And you shot it in clubs. It looked awesome.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Chicago, yeah. We did Zany's Downtown and Rosemont.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's cool.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  And we cut them together, but not in like a distracting way.

• 20:31Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that Chris Rock special, which was a great special, like, but it was like he kept cutting within jokes to like-

• 20:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  He was in South Africa. He was in like, I think, he did it in three different places.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 20:41Stavros Halkias?

  And it was awesome, but it did- It was like more, you're watching more of an interesting like film than you are

• 20:47Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  The material.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, this one, you don't even really notice it unless you're like really paying attention. And it's like, it's like Godfather two, there's like four cuts.

• 20:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:57Speaker 03

  It's not like.

• 20:58Stavros Halkias?

  I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  So I think it's good. We did a little theatrical run, which was fun and it's the first one I've ever watched. I was like, that's pretty good.

• 21:05Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 21:05Speaker 03

  I laughed a couple times.

• 21:07Stavros Halkias?

  You don't watch your own specials?

• 21:08Speaker 03

  No, well, the previous one, I told the director, Jason Katz, who's great, he did my first three, but I was like, I can't watch you guys edit. And he left in all these crowd work moments. They left it. I mean, and it was my own fault, but then all the comments were like, this thing wasn't ready. It's not tight.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Well, it would be tight if we just cut out me being like, oh, fuck you. So I was like, oh, fuck. Like, this is a sloppy piece of shit mess. I'm like, no, no, no, it's good. So this time I was like, let me get in there a little bit.

• 21:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's hilarious. I mean, I get it. It's excruciating to watch.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  Oh, it's awful.

• 21:42Stavros Halkias?

  I want to, you know, blow my brains out when it's happening, but it is necessary for sure.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  Well, at least I straightened my teeth. That helps.

• 21:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's good.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  Before that, I just wanted to really kill myself. Now I just kind of want to kill myself.

• 21:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's good, man. That's good. That's all you can hope for.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  But go watch it for the love of Christ.

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  Go watch it. The man's got a child.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  I got a child, a baby.

• 22:02Stavros Halkias?

  A beautiful baby boy.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  But AI is going to kill us all anyways, right?

• 22:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, probably.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Right?

• 22:07Stavros Halkias?

  Elders loves it. Elders welcomes our AI overlords.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  I do think it's just inevitable, so.

• 22:12Stavros Halkias?

  You really are. Yeah, you're just giving up, dude.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  It's inevitable. And then, you know, there will be artistic innovations within the constraints of AI. People will use it in an interesting way.

• 22:22Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think they really will, honestly.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  I think they will. Some.

• 22:26Stavros Halkias?

  Already it's become so homogenized and it's what's happened is the most uninteresting, uncreative people type in like, you know.

• 22:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like, brooding woman with large breasts or something, and they're like, "Look at this piece of art I made," and it's just other people's work that a computer is copying. You're just getting a computer to plagiarize for you.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  I think that's Luddite mindset. I think, I think it's like when people, when people in the 90s are like, "Oh, you can't shoot a film on a digital camera."

• 22:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's a little different than that. It's because you weren't stealing other people's work with every fucking digital camera.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  It's so new right now, but...

• 23:03Stavros Halkias?

  The whole point is stealing, though. You think, the computer isn't drawing Superman, it's taking other images of Su- whatever, it doesn't fucking matter. Doesn't matter.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Oh, we're fucked.

• 23:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but we are fucked.

• 23:13Speaker 03

  And there's gonna be no jobs.

• 23:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. No jobs.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Well, people keep me like, "It's gonna be utopia or dystopia," and I'm like, "Well, based on..."

• 23:21Stavros Halkias?

  I think we know. I think if those are the two options, look what's happening now.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  I'm like, "Maybe utopia will come up, that'll be good."

• 23:27Stavros Halkias?

  Star learning Chinese, folks. They got bullet trains, they get halfway across the country in 20 minutes.

• 23:35Stavros Halkias?

  Bleep all that, please, Eldis. Bleep. I know Chinese. Do you have Scotch tape?

• 23:44Stavros Halkias?

  I do a really cool- Do not give him Scotch tape, Eldis. I do a really cool thing. We don't have to get into that. And just some light brownish makeup. No, none of that will be necessary. Bleep that too, please.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  We bleep that to leave bukkake.

• 24:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. Come on, man.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  Oh, bukkake.

• 24:14Stavros Halkias?

  I think, what is the actual, I feel like bukkake doesn't, the actual meaning wasn't, like, getting your face, you know, painted. I think it, it's like, it's some kind of-

• 24:24Speaker 03

  Original meaning. I love how perfectly you spelled bukkake right out of the gate. Oh, it is Japanese.

• 24:29Stavros Halkias?

  To splash with liquid, or, you didn't know it was Japanese.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I mean, I had a sense.

• 24:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's often used in the context of food, particularly bukkake udon. So you can order bukkake udon. Joe goes, he's pissed it's not a bowl of jizz with noodles in it.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  The term bukkake is also widely known as a slang term, referring to a sexual act which a group of men ejaculate onto a person, typically a woman. What?

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Or even onto food.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. Now we're talking. Anyway, okay, so it just means splash. I got you. But it's taken over. Um, you know, splash videos. But anyway, Joey, what's going on with you, man? How's it been? It's been a little while. How's the boy? How's the boy? How's the wife?

• 25:12Speaker 03

  Uh, he's great. Wife is great. She was just away for five days. She went to the, uh, Vail Comedy Festival.

• 25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  And she booked her flights all wack. And they asked, she was leaving Friday and they asked her to book an earlier flight. And they meant like earlier in the morning. So she booked Thursday. And then she got there and she's like, nobody's here. And so she just left an extra day. So she was gone for five days. And so it was just me and the boy. And I gotta tell you, life-changing experience. I, I need to quit everything because it was the happiest time of my life, not because my wife was gone.

• 25:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Didn't hurt. Not because my wife was gone and not because I was with the son. I cleared my schedule.

• 25:50Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  I had five days of no horseshit podcasts, no, no, no offense, no spots. And I just raised a child for like 12 hours and then put them down and watched hockey.

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  And a little bit of basketball.

• 26:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  And I was like, this is good.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  This is a nice life. So that's what I've been up to. And now I'm like, I gotta quit all my podcasts.

• 26:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, probably.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Doctor money making them. So I gotta keep.

• 26:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, no, not your podcast. You just stopped doing, with the exception of Stavi's World.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:19Stavros Halkias?

  You have to stop doing other podcasts, probably.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  But even your own podcast, you gotta do one a week plus a Patreon. And I have the regs.

• 26:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  It's a lot of work, folks.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck it. Our lives are tough.

• 26:31Speaker 03

  Sure, you're climbing up the ladder and knocking, you know, hammering your thumb and this bees on you.

• 26:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  But I gotta talk about coming to hockey for like 90 minutes a week, every week.

• 26:46Stavros Halkias?

  But that is, do you just feel like, like the fact that it was, if you, the fact that you did have a, you know, you were with your son though, probably is what also makes it, you know, meaningful, right? Or no?

• 26:57Speaker 03

  No, it's very rewarding. And you really connect. I mean, it was just beautiful. We went, we're making the eye contact and he's starting to. Learn all these words, it's really sweet and he laughs and then you have connection. And now he's old enough to play on his own. So like, he'll be playing, you just sit and watch it.

• 27:12Stavros Halkias?

  What you doing, blocks? What you working with?

• 27:15Speaker 03

  He's got blocks, he stacks, he plays trucks, trains, the whole thing. We can, we can have a pass now, we kind of bounce the ball.

• 27:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  I mean, it's not like the Field of Dreams catch. It's kind of, he bounces it, it rolls over, whatever.

• 27:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you hit him in the head, it rolls back to you.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you take him to the park and we went on the ferry, we took a ride to Astoria to go to the dentist, which was fun and it was awesome. Yeah, it was beautiful.

• 27:37Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, what, does he have any obsessions? Is it trucks? We have a friend who her, her son loves sea creatures out of nowhere. No one in the family ever cared about sea creatures and it's not, he saw Finding Nemo once.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:50Stavros Halkias?

  And he locked in and now he like knows the, he knows more sea creatures in, he knows them in Greek and English.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 27:58Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, he's just, he's so locked into sea creatures, it's awesome.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  I'm the same way. I love clam.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Folks, there's your clip. There's your clip, folks.

• 28:12Stavros Halkias?

  We'll take, yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Straight to the top.

• 28:14Stavros Halkias?

  Take eight minutes off, we got it baby, we got the viral clip.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  No, yes, he loves wheels, he's obsessed with wheels and the boat, because we live next to the ferry terminal. So it's all, and he wants to get on every boat and he goes, he goes, boop, boop, boop, and does this.

• 28:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  And, uh, every, every wheel, he stops and touches every wheel. And then I had a family friend in town, she was like, that's a sign of autism. And I'm like, an 18 month old boy that likes wheels? I'm like, I think he.

• 28:42Stavros Halkias?

  What is going on?

• 28:43Speaker 03

  And then you look up the, the fucking, uh, what do you call it? Symptoms of autism in an 18 month old? And I'm like, this kid could not be less autistic. He's like, he talks, he makes eye contact, he's got, you know, he's fine.

• 28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. There is, I mean, I think we talked about the last time you were here, actually, where there is something, autism has just got, basically.

• 29:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's basically turned into you could just say the you could just drop an R-bomb. You're not supposed to say, you know, retarded anymore.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:12Stavros Halkias?

  And I think in that vacuum autism has just slipped in.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 29:17Stavros Halkias?

  You can say autistic, like, oh, it's a little autistic. It's just, it's just that. I think that's really what it is. And now everybody talks about it. Everybody says they're a little bit of it. You know what I mean?

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:28Stavros Halkias?

  It is a little. It's gotten to the point where as a punchline, it's hack, I think.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah, as a life thing, it's hack.

• 29:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. To even bring that up, to be like, he's autistic. It's like, no, he's fucked. You don't know shit, lady.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:42Stavros Halkias?

  You dumb bitch, whoever you are.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, take that, you whore. But autism, yeah, has like a lot of symptoms of OCD are very similar. Cause I read the symptoms of autism. I'm like, oh. I have a bunch of these, but that's anxiety and OCD.

• 29:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Like I got to, if I don't take my tea bags out after three minutes, I fucking start smacking my head and spit at the people.

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  Eee, yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe starts screeching if the jasmine is too strong.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  So, yeah.

• 30:09Stavros Halkias?

  Is it three minutes? You do have it down. I know you like to steep your tea.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  It's supposed to be three minutes with a bag, but they put two bags in. So I go about 90 seconds, two minutes. Yeah.

• 30:18Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  You ever teabag somebody?

• 30:21Stavros Halkias?

  With my actual nuts?

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:23Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I've gotten my nuts sucked, but I've never been like, you know, the way like Halo where you kind of, did you ever do that? And you're playing a, that was a fun thing to do in Halo. You would kill someone and then you would crouch. But it looked like you were putting your nuts in his mouth.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  That's fun.

• 30:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's good stuff.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  I haven't played video games since 1992, but I might pick up a machine and get, play a little Halo. What is it? Playstation 3 or something like that?

• 30:46Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, it was an Xbox. Xbox is a big game. It kept them afloat, I feel like.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Are they still alive?

• 30:52Stavros Halkias?

  I think Playstation 5 is eating their lunch. I think they try, I think the Nintendo Switch and 20, uh, Xbox begs to host a game show, whatever.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Okay, so they're kind of around.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think they really, like, what's the newest Xbox even fucking called? I think, I think the Switch and the Playstation pretty much fucked their asses, but, um, who, you know, and they're Microsoft. Newest Xbox Series X. I don't know. Colin, if you're a dork and you think the Xbox is still cool, you let us know. But yeah, we were, we were briefly an Xbox family. We were Nintendo growing up. So I got a GameCube when I was like, I don't know, that was the best Christmas of my life I've discussed. Me and my brothers, we, everybody loved each other in my family for about like eight days.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:40Stavros Halkias?

  That Christmas where we got that GameCube. It was literally the closest I've ever felt to my, my fan, like, it was exactly what I wanted. It was like truly the, the best eight days of my childhood is like right that Christmas. When, you know, me and my brothers were playing together. We're like playing Star Fox, it's collaborative.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  That's beautiful.

• 31:56Stavros Halkias?

  We're doing a Madden franchise together, you know?

• 31:59Speaker 03

  That's really sweet.

• 31:59Stavros Halkias?

  It was beautiful. Um, that lasted, you know, about eight days and then slowly diminishing returns from that. But then we moved on to Xbox and now I'm back to PlayStation, you know? PlayStation in Greece, my cousin played it. We were playing FIFA there. So we've kind of jumped around console wise, but you know, you were never a big like.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  No, I went, I went Nintendo and then Sega Genesis. That was my last thing.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Big Techno Bowl and then Sonic. And then after that, I just kind of became a man. I got my first smell of pussy and uh, I said goodbye forever. Haven't stopped sniffing the cooch.

• 32:35Stavros Halkias?

  More uh, your first smell of whiskey.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Whatever. Whiskey, pussy, all the same.

• 32:44Stavros Halkias?

  Now speaking of Xbox, now here's what's really been going on. You want to hear a crazy story?

• 32:47Speaker 03

  I do, I do.

• 32:48Stavros Halkias?

  You want me to give you a nice?

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Give me something juicy.

• 32:51Stavros Halkias?

  Something nice, something ni- whatever, spicy, sexy, hot.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:56Stavros Halkias?

  So speaking of Xbox, I'm doing, I'm in Cleveland. I like to do yoga on the road. You know me, I'm a yoga guy. And uh, I book a class Friday morning. I'm, I'm working Hilarities. I go do yoga at this yoga studio, seven thirty in the morning. It's a hot.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Seven thirty, wow.

• 33:11Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I get, I wake up early now because the baby, I go to bed early, I wake up early.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  You're doing spa, I mean, that's, it's hard for me to go to sleep on the road because you're just amped from the late show.

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Well, this is the thing I'm never, I don't have those kind of shows.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  My late shows are a little sleepy.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  I was joking, my late show, it's all the waitresses come in with coats and they're like, "It was nice to meet you." And I'm like, "Where are you guys?" "What's going on here?"

• 33:38Speaker 03

  I'm kidding, I should stop making jokes like this, because everyone takes everything serious. People are like, "Joe's bro, this is why he's failing." And I'm always like, "I'm doing better than 99% of comedians that have ever done comedy." Of course, it's so funny. It's like, three comics doing better than me, and they're my best friends.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  I make a lot of money, I'm very successful. Joe's doing great, one of the best in the biz. Six, seven women on each coast. But anyways, so I get up early, I do yoga. And then the next day, I was like, "What should I do tomorrow?" I've tried to make commitments. Like, I read the book Atomic Habits, you ever read that book? It's a hell of a book. I'm gonna check it out. I didn't read it, I listened to it, but it's awesome. It's great, but it was, one of the things about it is, you gotta commit to something before. So you pay for the class before you go, because you'll be less likely to can't. Like, if you just go, "I'm gonna do yoga on Friday." Yeah. But if you sign up and pay, you're like, "I got a receipt, I'm here, I gotta go." So I did that again, and I was like, "I'm gonna do yoga the next day, Saturday morning, 7:30 a.m., I'm going."

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Wake up, I didn't wanna go, but I was like, "Fuck it, you signed up, let's go." Atomic Habits, baby, you're getting your life together. I run over there, I open the door, my ex-girlfriend, that I lived together 17 years ago. What? In Cleveland? In Cleveland, she's from Denver. What the fuck? Moved to San Diego, got married in San Diego. I haven't talked to her in seven and a half years, haven't seen her, spoken to her, no contact whatsoever. Oh my. Her husband's a doctor, he's like a... So he goes, he works... Holy shit. I mean, I shouldn't give out too much information. Yeah, we'll bleep, we'll bleep out where it works. Yeah, but he, I just, she moved to Cleveland, I open the door, it's like, "Kling!" And I look up, it was like a fucking movie. Oh my. I started shaking, I was like, "What the fuck?"

• 35:23Speaker 03

  And she knew I was coming, because when I signed up, they get an email, like, "Joseph List, Joe List Comedy." She's a teacher? She's the yoga instructor. So it was like, seven minutes for class. So you're looking, it's not even like she's in the corner, you can't get near her. And so we had to like, catch up after eight years, and then I just go into her class, she has the little fucking thing. And she's like, "Okay, class," and I'm like... How many people in the class? Like, six. Oh my god. It was like, five of the hottest women I've ever seen, and then my ex. It was also attractive, but it was just the most insane experience of my life.

• 35:56Stavros Halkias?

  To be doing that at seven in the morning, too.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  It was mind blowing, jarring, the craziest thing. And I, at this point, I was just like, oh, and we didn't have like a bad, we remained friends.

• 36:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  For a while. And then it wasn't like we were like, I'm never talking to you again, you piece of shit. It just kind of, you fall off, you're both married. And how about this? We had kids three days apart.

• 36:15Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  She's like, she didn't know I was a father. She's like, you're a dad? That's crazy. I'm like, yeah, he's a year and a half. She's like, I have a one and a half year old. What's his birthday? We do the birthdays three days apart.

• 36:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  We had children at the same time.

• 36:27Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  And, uh, yeah, it was fucking wild. Now we talk all day, every day.

• 36:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you reconnected.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  That's great.

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  You're on Signal, the one you can't track.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  Well, Sarah, my, my wife, who you know, dear friend, dear friend of yours, dear wife of mine.

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. My wife, she's one of my great, she's a really dear friend.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Good buddy. Well, she was like, it's like the universe wants you to fuck. I'm like, maybe the universe wants us to reconnect.

• 36:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, be friends, you know? It's like, cause I ran into my ex. So, you know, maybe we should each fuck.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  The signs are there. I'm like, wait, what? The big Latino guy?

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was fucking, it was wild. I mean, I was like, and then like I said, you have to like get into like, all right, we're doing yoga.

• 37:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, now I have to clear my mind and like be in a meditative state where all you're thinking about is this person.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Fucking crazy, but it's nice catching up with someone you haven't seen in a while. Cause they're like, how you been? And I'm like, well, I live in Battery Park City, bitch.

• 37:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Here's my balcony, you whore.

• 37:28Stavros Halkias?

  Remember the drunk guy that shit in your shoes? Is this that person?

• 37:31Speaker 03

  No, that wasn't an act. That was a random.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that was a restaurant?

• 37:35Speaker 03

  No, this was, this was like, we live together, the whole thing. We'll get married someday. It was a real serious thing. I went to Peru. I did a one man show about it.

• 37:43Stavros Halkias?

  I remember this. Yes, yes, yes. Damn. That is nuts.

• 37:46Speaker 03

  She called me ugly. She kind of apologized for that. That was nice.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, kind of.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  Uh, she said, I'm so sorry.

• 37:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so she did.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  But it wasn't like, it wasn't like a sit down, like, I want to tell you, I'm sorry. It was like, remember you said that? And she was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you piece of shit.

• 38:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  Well, this is what she said, because I had a horrible overbite and crooked teeth. And she's like, you're gonna get surgery? At the time, I made like 11 grand a year.

• 38:13Stavros Halkias?

  Surgery?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  That's what I said. I was like, reconstructive surgery.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  You want me to break my jaw in nine places and not talk for a year?

• 38:19Speaker 03

  This is my girlfriend, and I was like, I don't think so. I was like, surgery? Oh, it's worse. So then I'm like, I don't think so. And then she literally said, this is a quote, she goes, so you're just gonna like, look like that forever?

• 38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  I told Alan, our therapist, my therapist, and he was like, you can't talk to this woman ever again. He's like, this is horrible.

• 38:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Then there was another one. I've told, I tried to do this a bit, but it never worked. I, one time, when we first started dating, we were like, I might probably tell you this story. We were madly in love. And so I, she left her like Gmail up, we lived together. And so I searched my name, thinking it's gotta be just me being like, he's the best.

• 38:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  And it was a conversation with her friend.

• 38:58Stavros Halkias?

  This is the G chat days.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  It was a G chat. And it was like, and I found what I wanted to find. She's like, he's amazing, he's hilarious, I'm like, in love with him, I literally think he's the one. And then she's like, he's not attractive, but I just think he's so sweet and funny.

• 39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  And so I just had to read her behind my back. Literally, just be like, he's ugly.

• 39:22Stavros Halkias?

  He is, now, look, I, it's, I close my eyes to not, I can't really look at him. I kinda do that thing, I kinda cross my eyes. I kinda do the thing where you're doing an eye spy, and you try and look at the magic eye thing. Like, I do that to not focus on his features.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  It was horrible. It was so hard.

• 39:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough too, because it's like, that is, that's the truth. That's deep in her, her and her best friends, who are actually doing, because we've all done that, where you're like, I like this thing, I like this thing, I hate this thing, but I love her. And it's, and even though it's in the context of, he's the one, I love him, whatever, devastating.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  It was devastating.

• 40:00Stavros Halkias?

  If your girl doesn't think you're hot, Jesus Christ.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Well, we had another one later, too, where we were hanging out with some friends, and um,

• 40:07Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sorry to keep making this worse, but she didn't even say, he's like, he's like, You know, maybe he's not conventional, but I just find him so attractive.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 40:16Stavros Halkias?

  She didn't even say like, I don't even get it. Like I've had women thinking they're being like nice to me, be like, I don't know why, but I find you attractive.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 40:24Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? We're just like, alright, I'll ta- I know what you mean and that is the way you can find me attractive. Cause you can't just be like, well, that's what I like.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 40:31Stavros Halkias?

  But she didn't even say that. She just said, I don't find you attractive.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  He's ugly, but I like him. I'm gonna give it a try.

• 40:36Stavros Halkias?

  I like everything else about him, but man.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  But uh, the other time we were hanging out and she was like, they were talking about what's your type? And she was like, well, I like, you know, I'm from Denver. I like a, like a kind of an outdoorsy guy. I like long hair and like tan, big bill. Like she described a thing. I'm like, wait, what? Like, can you at least fake it? Come up with, like, just for my benefit, I'm sitting here.

• 41:00Stavros Halkias?

  Say, I don't really have a type. I'm, you know what I mean? Do something, but like.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Tall. I like a real tall guy.

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  Tall, that's it.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Even if he's flanky, I still like height.

• 41:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Funny. I like a funny tall guy.

• 41:10Stavros Halkias?

  Funny tall guy, something fucked up about his jaw and his face.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, like his front teeth to be a few inches in front of his bottom teeth.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  But anyways, now I have a beard and I straightened my teeth.

• 41:22Stavros Halkias?

  The beard is nice. I like the beard.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  So now it's like, and I think kid is big too. That makes you look like a real man.

• 41:30Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, absolutely.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  So every day I send her a photo of me and my boy.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  No good?

• 41:39Stavros Halkias?

  I love that dude. Yeah, that is really funny. Cause I mean, to be smacked in the face with that.

• 41:44Speaker 03

  It was cra- I mean, it's like if you went to Indianapolis and saw your girlfriend there. It's fucking.

• 41:49Stavros Halkias?

  Crazy.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  It was seriously the most insane thing. And like, she's like, kind of like Denver, kind of came from money and was in the cool, like, and was a world traveler. Like she left me, she went to Argentina. I visited her in Peru one time. So I thought she would have lived in fucking Bhutan before she lived in Cleveland.

• 42:07Stavros Halkias?

  Cleveland, yeah.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Which is another nice thing. When you see an ex and you're living in Battery Park City, you're living in Cleveland. You're like, wow, I win this round.

• 42:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. What, and remind me, what was the job that you compared your salary to, to say it was good?

• 42:20Speaker 03

  A doctor?

• 42:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, what is her husband's name?

• 42:22Speaker 03

  He's a doctor. Doctor working fucking 700 hours a week.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Coming home exhausted. She never sees him. Doesn't help with the kids. I'm with my son all day, every day. Except for I'm doing labor here.

• 42:36Stavros Halkias?

  Except for right now.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is work.

• 42:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and then, you know, maybe we'll hang out for a couple hours after, you know.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  Eat some pizza and cooking.

• 42:43Stavros Halkias?

  I do love the cover doing podcasts gives like friends with families like I've had people who are like, you know, sometimes I feel bad because we do kind of record for a while.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:53Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it's not like your typical hour, hour in and out, whatever. And then for some people I feel really bad and then for other people they're like, okay, okay. But sometimes you can go longer too. Like you can tell who hates their family.

• 43:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:03Stavros Halkias?

  But they're like, no, I'm hanging, dude. It's all good.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm cool.

• 43:06Stavros Halkias?

  Want to do another one? Let's do another one. Let's do a Patreon, dude. Who cares?

• 43:10Speaker 03

  I can't wait to get home. I love my son.

• 43:13Stavros Halkias?

  It is fun.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  And wife.

• 43:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  Whatever her name is.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  Her name's Cleveland. No.

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  But it is beautiful though. I mean, I am in the, you do see a lot of my friends are in the, you know, having kids zone where like at first it was people I knew of, obviously, like, uh, you know, outside social, not the inner circle. Now it's like, really, my best friends are all kind of in that zone and it is beautiful. You know, my brother had a kid. We got, we got a little, we got the nephew of the podcast who's out there. So cute. He came to the, he came to the DC show. He's there with his little like little earmuffs.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  At a balcony, you know, watching. It was, it was really cute. Um, and it was, yeah, we brought him on the bus. He's in a little, they just put a little tracksuit for me. It was so fucking cute. And you do see like the, and even though it is probably, you know, just the animal thing that you're supposed to do, you see a little baby that you're related to, or you love their parents or whatever, and you're like, I would literally like kill and die for this little lump of like, you know, this little lump.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:27Stavros Halkias?

  And there is something just like, oh yeah. Cause I've had days where I have nothing to do and I'm like. Shouldn't I do something?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:35Stavros Halkias?

  And you realize like, oh yeah, that's for having children.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:39Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, that's what that like, you've figured everything out, you have some time in the day. It's for that, you know what I mean?

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it's wonderful. It's the best. I can't, I mean, thinking about it makes me just wanna go home. I'm like, this is stupid. What am I doing?

• 44:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Selling my specials.

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's right.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Right after we talk, right after we talk about seeing my ex, we have a weird fucking cut. It's gonna look so incriminating.

• 45:00Stavros Halkias?

  Leave this in. Definitely leave this in.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  I'm like, yeah, so I saw my ex, it was great to see her. But yeah, I think the, uh, capital of Florida is Sarasota, if I'm not mistaken.

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  No, I know, it is, it is fun. I'm excited. And just think about him being like, you think about like, actually turning into a person and a guy you can hang out with.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  But this is what scares me. I just feel like the wor- I'm worried the world is gonna be fucked so hard for him.

• 45:28Stavros Halkias?

  It will be, yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Like, AI, I won't even understand how to teach him life. Like, he's gonna go to school, I'm gonna be like, well, I'm thinking of like chalk and it's gonna be robots.

• 45:36Stavros Halkias?

  There's no chalk, there's no chalk.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  It's gonna be a robot fucking lady shooting us.

• 45:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 45:42Stavros Halkias?

  Well, if it's a robot, if there's robot teachers, you don't have to worry about, you know, sexual indiscretions, that's good.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  I guess you're right.

• 45:48Stavros Halkias?

  There's some robot priests, that's the future. They stop, they stop fucking, maybe, you know, we're back in.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  But AI, there'll be a lot of good stuff too. They'll solve cancer and all that shit.

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  Usually what happens. Oh, definitely.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Right?

• 46:01Stavros Halkias?

  Big business won't continue to profit off of suffering. That's what happens when a new technology, they use it for good.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  No, but that, they'll make money off of that.

• 46:10Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so, man. I, I'm just, I'm very skeptical and at least, I don't, you know, it just, again, seems like it's mostly stealing. Like, whatever AI, it just feels like a search engine or it's stealing. To me. Again, I don't know shit, obviously. Some of it is like shortcuts, like, you know, whatever, but we don't fucking know what we're talking about. I just have no.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  I don't know why I said we. You don't know what you're talking about. I know.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah?

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Oh, dude.

• 46:37Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it doesn't help that everything I think of with machines is like, well, the Terminator, of course. It's like, it's so easy to say we're in Skynet, and I don't necessarily dislike. I guess, I think we are also giving it too much credit. I actually don't think it's that cutting edge is really where I come down on it.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  But it's, it's growing exponentially. It's smart.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  I guess.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  I mean, Elders is gonna be the first one out of a job.

• 47:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, that's the good thing, is that I will be able to replace Elders for a fraction.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  The robots will always need a competent human to oversee the output. They're nothing without the human behind them.

• 47:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's all gonna be run by Eldesses, dude. It's gonna be all like barely competent middle managers that are gonna thrive under AI.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  We could use a few more Eldesses out there.

• 47:23Stavros Halkias?

  I think so.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 47:25Stavros Halkias?

  I think so.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  The Bukkake, I mean.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  Think of all those Bukkake videos.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  I think that robot, that's clip number two, I'm thinking. Yeah, I got some big ones here.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  Just let us know.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Small ball, baby.

• 47:37Stavros Halkias?

  Small ball.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  YouTube.

• 47:38Stavros Halkias?

  Check it out. Um, yeah, I don't know. Are we, are we, should we help the people, Elders? You know, are you, are we ready to really take some calls, really help? We've got a wise father who just do nearly, who just barely dodged, you know, cheating with an ex. That's what we cut out.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  Hippo. These people believe the shit. That's what I'm learning.

• 48:02Stavros Halkias?

  You're right, you're right, you're right.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  Every, every, every fucking, I was just talking about this in Ronon's. I think I'm the most misunderstood, because I'm very deadpan.

• 48:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Everything I say, people are like, this guy fucking hates black people, he's afraid of cats.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. They, they think you and Bobby both are racist.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  I'm doing a gag.

• 48:19Stavros Halkias?

  We gotta get you and Bobby back on. Christmas this time, we actually, we're not, actually, maybe if we move, we should just smoke cigars in here one last time.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  But let's just, let's take precautions. Get a fan and a thing.

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  Open the window.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Eld, AI can make us smoke either.

• 48:34Stavros Halkias?

  Elders can suck in our smoke. We'll put, we'll put, yeah. Every time we exhale, we do it into Elders' mouth.

• 48:41Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm into that. That's hot.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  My dick's getting hard.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Mine's been making hard.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Clip number three.

• 48:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hit us with some questions, big Eld.

• 48:58Stavros Halkias?

  Can't hear shit.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Oh boy. See, we need AI. All this is fucking up.

• 49:05Speaker 05

  He is about, hey Stav, hey Otis, hope you guys are doing well. Um, I have a question not for me, but for a friend.

• 49:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, sure.

• 49:15Speaker 05

  So.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  I mean.

• 49:16Speaker 05

  He is about to have a baby with his wife and we've always talked about having good looking girls and we know she's about to have some thick tendencies and Scotty baby, we know you're, you're, you're a thick sexy motherfucker, but we don't know about having that for the girl. So.

• 49:33Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 49:34Speaker 05

  Like, what's your advice?

• 49:35Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about?

• 49:37Speaker 05

  A thick girl come into this life. She has some thick girl tendencies. She's already getting those, those arms, those, those elbows and those legs, like she's a skinny girl. So how do I coach my boy through this pregnancy?

• 49:49Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about?

• 49:50Speaker 05

  And make sure he stays around after she gets birth.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, this, what is this fucking question?

• 49:55Speaker 05

  Appreciate any and all his life. I know you don't have a kid, but I know you have friends that have a kid.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Fat people elbows.

• 50:00Stavros Halkias?

  I was just saying, my wife is getting fat from having my child. How do I stick around?

• 50:07Speaker 03

  His friend's wife.

• 50:08Stavros Halkias?

  Still.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Can I say, I have a, like, I was joking about all the Bakaki in the business. I have like a pregnant, I, my wife, when she was pregnant, I was so into her.

• 50:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  And I have a doctor that's like pregnant right now. She's hot anyways, but I'm like, I like it. It's sexy. And if she's not fat before, she probably won't remain fat.

• 50:26Stavros Halkias?

  Also, what the?

• 50:28Speaker 03

  It's like cheating. You're like, you have a fat girlfriend for like, for like four months, you got a fatso. It's a fucking beautiful gift. I'm gonna have another kid just so I can have a fat titted wife for like five months. It's like the best thing ever.

• 50:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  You have a different body.

• 50:44Stavros Halkias?

  I like that idea. Yeah. That is, that's a nice way to look at it. You know, I would say, take that approach with Joe's saying. What you're saying is just like, he's like, well, if my wife gets too fat having my child, I don't want to stick around.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  That's the best line. Yeah. How am I gonna keep him sticking around after he has a baby?

• 51:02Stavros Halkias?

  Or even he's saying like, you know, we've always talked about having good looking girls. It's like. What's more important, your boy, like, that's, that's the other thing that's so funny is like, wanting credit from your boy for getting pussy, that's such like, twenty year old mentality, where it's like, well, what's important is, I show my friends who I fucked and they think it's cool, not, you know, enjoying the person, loving the person that I'm with and having a child with them, so. I like Joe's approach, I didn't like, I honestly did not care for his tone, if I'm being honest here. Um, and the, hold for my friend stuff, and we've always talked about, it sounds like he wants to fuck his friend also.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  She's already getting those elbows.

• 51:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's getting fat elbows.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  I've never heard a man refer to women's elbows ever once in my entire life, for any reason.

• 51:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Also, I feel like that's the place you can't gain weight.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a bone.

• 51:56Stavros Halkias?

  If he's talking, I mean, maybe he's talking about like lunch lady arms.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 51:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough, I will admit, that is a tough look, that's, one thing I praise God, that he made me the type of fat guy that does not have those arms.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  Saggy elbows.

• 52:07Stavros Halkias?

  Saggy, yeah, like when it's coming down here, that's tough, that's a tough look, but, you know, if we're, all we're talking about is somebody gaining a little weight, relax. Exactly, it's like cheating, that's a good way to look at it, that's a good way to get through to a misogynist about this. It's like fucking a different bitch, dude.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  No, it's awesome, I love, I loved it.

• 52:28Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I definitely have taken some strolls through the, uh, pregnancy part of exvideos.com. Not too much, but like, when the tits get huge and you just.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  And they're veiny?

• 52:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  I love a veiny, blue veined tit.

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  But then you start thinking like, damn dude, what's going on in her life, she has to do porn while pregnant?

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's the hard part, that, it feels like the kid, it feels slightly traumatizing for the child.

• 52:56Stavros Halkias?

  The child's in the womb, so, basically, there's a chi, you know, if, if it's late enough in the game, when you see the real crazy ones, it's like, well, that basically, and I'm not, I'm definitely a guy that's pretty, you know, pretty, uh, it's really not a kid until pretty close to it coming out, but it's tough to just be like, you were in there, I was nine months pregnant and just getting nutted in.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  I have big, black cock for money.

• 53:23Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows what color it was, but you know.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  The one I watched was black.

• 53:28Stavros Halkias?

  Joe's bukkake black pregnant porn.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  So you're pro-choice?

• 53:34Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yes, I am.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  All right, another topic we can't talk about.

• 53:45Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, put it on the Joe List, uh, problemat- or whatever, you know, Joe List is a fascist, uh, supercut. Let's do that. Let's get, let's just completely misrepresent Joe. You think you know what the clips are, pal?

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 53:58Stavros Halkias?

  We got a supercut coming. Um, all right, what else we got, LD?

• 54:04Speaker 06

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• 54:46Speaker 06

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• 55:03Speaker 07

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• 55:34Speaker 08

  Hi, Sal, Elvis, and theme guests. Thank you. I have a friend group. It's me and three other guys, so four of us total. Um, we're all pretty good dudes. There's this one guy, we all knew each other in college. There's one guy though, who is an alcoholic, um, pretty bad. Uh, the first time my fiance met him, he drank, and it's not exaggeration because we counted, he drank like thirty-two beers in like four hours. Awesome. Granted, he's like six-eight, so none of the same. But he, uh, every time I see him get blackout drunk, it's a whole thing. So, I'm getting married next August and I want to make, uh, this group of friends my groomsmen.

• 56:17Speaker 08

  And, um, my fiance, like I said the first time, uh, she's met him, he was blackout drunk, he drank over like a hundred and something dollars worth of her liquor that she was having for New Year's. It was a, a whole fight. You have some insight into this. Um, he was like passed out on a couch and left the next morning at five AM, still drunk. Driving is not, not good. But anyway, um, she didn't want me to invite him. And so I told him, I said, hey, you need to figure your shit out to be invited. I ain't telling him he's gonna be a groomsmen yet, or I want to, but you need to figure your shit out, um, or else you're not invited to the wedding. And for a couple of months, he was doing good. But then, one day, he goes missing, to the point where he's not answering calls or texts. I have to, uh, call in a missing persons report up in, uh, a couple of states away.

• 57:02Speaker 08

  Then he just shows back up out of nowhere and pretends like nothing happened, refuses to address it. And now he's posting pictures in our group chat of him drinking forties and stuff on a Wednesday afternoon. So, question is really, how do I make the other two friends groomsmen in the friend group exclude this guy? And not be an asshole when I say, hey, you can't come to the wedding because we don't want you blackout drunk, uh, being annoying and ruining the day and whatnot. Um, yeah, that's all I got. Thank you. Interesting.

• 57:31Speaker 03

  I, I had this exact situation.

• 57:32Speaker 08

  Really?

• 57:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:33Speaker 08

  What happened?

• 57:34Speaker 03

  Well, it's one of the funniest stories.

• 57:36Speaker 08

  Yeah, all right, let's hear it.

• 57:37Speaker 03

  So I had a guy, a friend, he wasn't a groomsmen, but I didn't have groomsmen, but, um, I just had a best man, you were there.

• 57:43Speaker 08

  I was there.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Um, but anyways, he, I had a friend that was a big drunk like me, and then I got sober. And, uh, he kept drinking and all my friends, he lived in Boston, all my friends kept warning me like, hey, this guy is like fucking really out of control right now. He got thrown out of a minor league baseball game by the umpire.

• 58:04Stavros Halkias?

  The umpire. You're out.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  I swear to God.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  I mean, is that not the fucking craziest thing? Like, the actual, with the mask umpire was like, ew, you're gone. Want me to run you?

• 58:19Stavros Halkias?

  Get out, looking up is insane.

• 58:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, so anyway, so, and then he hit my other friend, and so I talked to Sarah, my therapist, and I was like, I think, Sarah, it was like, whatever, it's your call.

• 58:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  But I sent him a long, I don't know if this is helpful, but I sent him a long message and just wrote like, I can't invite you to the wedding, I'm hearing these sto- I just don't want you to, fuck, you're a mess, you're a black guy. And then I was, it was really, one of the hardest things I've done.

• 58:44Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, yeah.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  To tell this, like, close friend, and I was one of his groomsmen, to tell this person, I can't have you at my wedding, you're a liability, whatever. And then I thought it was kind of like, okay, I took care of that, and then he wrote back, like, the most beautiful, thoughtful email, and was like, I love you, I need this, I would never be a problem at your wedding, I promise I won't drink, just let me be part of, whatever, and it was a beautifully written, thoughtful message, so I brought it up to my therapist and to Sarah, and she's like, it's totally your call, and I decided to give him the go-ahead, be like, you can, you can come, because that meant a lot to me, his stuff, response, here's the punchline, he's sitting in the back, Sarah, my wife, is walking up the aisle with her dad, and I look back, and just out of a corner of my eye, I see him next to her, he goes,

• 59:30Speaker 03

  he did the,

• 59:31Stavros Halkias?

  He's making the pussy eating.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  Eat pussy. Which is so fucking funny, because he didn't drink, he left early, he came, he didn't make a scene, but he still could not do the like, eat her box.

• 59:42Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, imagine that guy with even four beers in him at your wedding.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Fucking hilarious.

• 59:48Stavros Halkias?

  Doing the pussy eating maneuver when she's walking down the aisle.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  Like, next to her, but like, the image is my wife, her dad, and my friend eating pussy. It's just too good.

• 59:58Stavros Halkias?

  And he was sober.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Dead sober, but anyways.

• 1:00:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's kinda, that is kinda nicer that he, that he sent you this thoughtful, and he actually held his, you know.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, no, he was great, and he danced on the dance floor, I think he threw his knee out on the dance floor and left early. But, um, so anyways, yeah, I think you gotta tell this guy, and it's, your wife is number one on the day of the wedding.

• 1:00:18Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  So I would give her the option, what do you, what do you think I should do? What should I, do you want him here or not? And I think if your wife says, I don't want this fucking guy at my wedding, you gotta say no.

• 1:00:27Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, yeah, and, and look, we hear it in his voice, right? This is brutal, and the, what you were feeling when you were sending him that message is horrible, cause it's like, you're one of my best friends, of course I want you there, and, and it's not even really his fault, it's obviously his like, you know, his addiction, so that's what's really sad about it, is that like, it's not even really him, right? Like, especially you as a sober person, you understand that, that it's like, if he took care, if he took care of his shit, he could be there, and, and there is definitely a version of our caller here. There's a version of his friend that if he's, you know, hopefully someday he gets sober, hopefully, this is something, you know, he can look back on the fucked up shit, you know, the dumb shit he used to do.

• 1:01:08Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but, if the, and his question is, how do I get the friends to exclude him? I mean, your, if your other friends don't understand why your wife doesn't want this guy at your wedding, they're fucking idiots too.

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:01:25Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, that's part of it, it's like, if this was, you know, luckily, we don't have anybody like this in our close friends, or whatever, Elvis, but like, if there was a guy that you, that was like, that a significant other very fairly had a reason to not want at your wedding, and it was like one of our best friends, I wouldn't be like, come on dude, your wife's being a bitch, you know what I mean? Like, that's insane, you know? So, I'm sorry, you know, sorry that you have to go through this, but I think you've kinda, he already did the conversation you said.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:02:00Stavros Halkias?

  He already said, I can't have you there, uh, you know, if anything, maybe our friend kinda tried a little too early, right? Like, he kinda tried to get him to fix his whole life, and it's like, Maybe you should have just kept your powder dry and been like, you can't come unless you're sober for the wedding. And the second you see him drink, you know, you gotta toss it. But then again, this guy's fucking six, eight. And you don't wanna have that whole, you don't want that hanging over. You don't wanna be thinking about that during your wedding.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  See, I thought he hasn't asked him. Doesn't he say, need to figure out or else you're not invited? Oh, he said, you gotta figure it out or you're not invited.

• 1:02:32Stavros Halkias?

  So he said that, and then the guy was trying, and then he, you know, fell off the wagon. And now he's basically like, okay, so he's used up his chances. How do I break it to my friends? And it's like, dude, you told, they know about this. If they don't think this is, you know what I mean? If they don't understand where you're coming from, they're being fucking idiots. And I think all you do is, you have the conversation, you let them know, you, you know, you like, hey, I just can't have him like, it's just a fucking liability. I don't want him ruining my wedding. Um, and it's really sad, but he just can't come. And they'll probably be bummed, but if they don't understand it, then you can go from there.

• 1:03:13Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I think what probably is gonna happen is you have this conversation, you're dreading it, cause it's a hard conversation to have with your. If a friend group has one guy that you've been friends with since you were kids, and he's not at your wedding, that feels bad for everyone. But you're worried about something that hasn't happened yet, right? Like, you're worried that they're gonna have this conversation, then be like, dude, you're a fucking asshole. How could you like, not bring drunk Ed to your fucking wedding? Don't worry about that yet. We're not there yet. This is classic like anxiety and worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. So, one step at a time. If they then act like dickheads, you could be like, well, listen, man, that's just how it is.

• 1:03:51Stavros Halkias?

  I want you to be my groomsmen. And if they've argued with you about it, then it's like, you, you worry about then. You cross that bridge when you get to it.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  Right. And you put it on the guy, like your, your care about him. I, I want you to get help. We're worried about you. Go to rehab, you fucking homo, whatever. Put it on him.

• 1:04:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and it is his. That is something he has to do. I mean, there's no way, there's no way around it. Um, so yeah, whatever. But thirty two beers in four hours. That's pretty cool. He does sound cool. I will say that. This is a guy that was awesome when he was twenty. Yeah. You know what I mean? I like the cut of his gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  That sounds like college level. Also, just like how specific that number is to you could like see yourself telling a story like that when you're like twenty one.

• 1:04:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'm telling you, he drank thirty five and a half beers. I mean, that's eight beers an hour. Yeah.

• 1:04:41Speaker 04

  I could have done that in college.

• 1:04:42Stavros Halkias?

  He's a big guy.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you probably could have.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Well, I guess that is a lot, but.

• 1:04:47Stavros Halkias?

  You probably could have. Psych, pussy. You're a lightweight.

• 1:04:52Stavros Halkias?

  Not from my angle.

• 1:04:56Stavros Halkias?

  Clip.

• 1:05:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hit us with another.

• 1:05:01Speaker 09

  Hey, Bob. Hi, Eldis. I am calling with a particularly odd dilemma. Um, so my boyfriend and I live together in a house where our two other roommates, they're separate, they're not together as a couple, but they are both gay. Um, my landlord, who is one of the roommates, has cameras all over the house, um, mainly outside, but they're a couple inside and like, I think one in his room and one in the common area.

• 1:05:33Stavros Halkias?

  They're inside?

• 1:05:34Speaker 09

  Anyway, my boyfriend and I are pretty physical, uh, sexually, and he likes to try and get down with the get down outside when we're sitting around the fireplace or just enjoying a drink, whatever. I'm uncomfortable because there's cameras everywhere. Uh, I know that he's not gonna watch this and get off to it. I know that that, you know, that's not the point, but, um, I don't know. The cameras make me super uncomfortable. They were here when I moved in. I've only lived here about a month. Uh, I'm sorry, I'm rambling. Uh.

• 1:06:12Stavros Halkias?

  Don't be.

• 1:06:12Speaker 09

  How the fuck do I get over this? I mean, I don't wanna go up to the man and be like, "Take your cameras down," but also, and you might be thinking, "Well, why not just fuck in your bedroom?" I mean, we do, but I feel bad turning my guy down all the time over this

• 1:06:31Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:06:32Speaker 09

  Weird peeve that I, I don't even know if it's a peeve, but anyway. Blah, blah, blah. Love you guys. Thank you.

• 1:06:38Stavros Halkias?

  You don't wanna be filmed fucking. You don't wanna be, you don't wanna fuck in an area where it's being, there's security cameras? I mean, this is insane, dude. You're, what a, I mean, I respect what a people pleaser. I, I hear this and it's like, you know, how this woman's like bending over backwards and her, she sounds like a cool girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Or the guy sounds like a very, a guy who's good at guilting someone. But imagine, ima- like, okay, if you and your boyfriend were sitting around a fireplace and in the corner of the yard, your landlord was sitting there reading a newspaper. Right. And he's not really paying attention. He's reading the newspaper, whatever. Would you wanna suck his dick then? No, it would be weird. That's essentially what the security camera is.

• 1:07:20Stavros Halkias?

  The camera in a common area is also psychotic in general. Yeah, I mean, that, there's, the two issues here are, hey, we don't want, now, I don't know what exactly the camera i- like, is it, is it like, is it that, is that your private space? Like, when you rented that place with like private backyard? Cause if that's the case, you could say, "I don't really want a camera here. I feel like it's not private. I just don't like the idea." Cause like, let's say, somebody fucking breaks into your house. Yeah, it could be a black neighborhood. Yeah.

• 1:07:53Stavros Halkias?

  I suppose it could be a white neighborhood. It could be an Asian neighbor, you know. Break-ins happen everywhere. That's a bit, don't clip it. Break-ins happen everywhere, you know? No clip.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, let's say, like, yeah, nothing happens right now, right? But, and then the fucking cops come, or even your landlord, and they scroll through eight times you're getting, you're sucking your boyfriend's dick to find the culprit or whatever. You know what I'm like? You're not in the wrong here at all to feel uncomfortable. And your question being, how do I get past my pretty reasonable boundary?

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:08:31Stavros Halkias?

  And suck my boyfriend's dick on camera on like, even though no one's gonna watch it and my gay landlord is not gonna jack off to it. You don't wanna do it and you shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to do it. Now, as a tenant, if you're like, hey, this feels like a little bit of a, you know, two, you have cameras too much in my, this doesn't feel private. I don't like the, I don't like this here. That's something you can talk to your landlord about, but that, those are the two issues you can talk about, not how do I get over this to make my boyfriend happy?

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Right. Can I also add, first of all, just because the guy's gay, doesn't mean he's not gonna watch you guys fuck it.

• 1:09:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  Like if I had surveillance camera and two men just were railing each other.

• 1:09:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'd probably, I would take a look for a second.

• 1:09:14Speaker 03

  I'd be like, oh, that's interesting. Also, this is just a side note. What kind of people, I've never heard of someone with roommates having a fireplace.

• 1:09:22Stavros Halkias?

  I, I think it's a fire pit, right?

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  It's an outdoor fireplace.

• 1:09:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 1:09:27Speaker 04

  Cause she said there's cameras outside. There's also two cameras inside, one in the common area, one in the landlord's bedroom.

• 1:09:35Speaker 03

  Outside, we're sitting around the fireplace. Okay, that makes a little more sense. I'm just picturing a home with a fireplace. You don't usually have roommates.

• 1:09:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  Who can afford a fireplace but needs roommates?

• 1:09:43Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you know, you never know.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Hard times, I guess.

• 1:09:45Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes you get a nice place and the only way you can afford it is because there's fucking five of you in there.

• 1:09:50Speaker 03

  Right. Like you used to be.

• 1:09:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. It's this apartment.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  Even without cameras, it's ballsy to have two roommates and like try to fuck your girlfriend like in the backyard where anyone could just walk in at any time.

• 1:10:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, you're not wrong here. You have a thing, like, you have something that makes you uncomfortable and that's okay. You know what I mean? Like, some people are into like exhibitionist stuff, right? Like I've been out with girls who liked like, Flashing their tits in a restaurant and like it's kinda hot. They're like, ooh, maybe we get caught. But it's like, and then I've tried to, one time I tried to fuck outdoors and I couldn't do it. Cause it was like, people were walking by. It felt like I kept losing my, my heart on, cause I was like, huh, yeah, someone's coming. You know what I mean? Like it was, we were like in, in a weird little bush area. And it's like, whatever. You're just not into it. You don't have to feel bad about this.

• 1:10:41Stavros Halkias?

  You just fuck where you feel comfortable. And if you wanna do something kinda not, whatever, naughty outdoors, go camping and suck his dick in the woods or something. But it's like, you don't have to want, you don't have to do this if you don't want to, man. Also, you're gonna go to hell for living with homos. So you might as well.

• 1:11:00Stavros Halkias?

  She's just living with a gay man. Right, right. That's an implicit approval of their lifestyle. So. You're gonna be living inside of a fireplace for eternity with these sinning gays. Yeah, I'm guess, Elvis, what is the, the, the living situation here? It's like, her, her landlord and his, and his.

• 1:11:19Speaker 04

  She said there's two, no, it's two gay guys. They're not dating. They're just two single gay guys they live with. One of them is the landlord. So I don't know if he owns it.

• 1:11:29Stavros Halkias?

  So it's a big house? It's not apartments?

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  I think it's a big house. Yeah.

• 1:11:33Stavros Halkias?

  This is crazy. A big backyard and a fireplace. You should not feel bad. Yeah, sorry. I thought for, I, you know, I thought it was an apartment. They had their own place. And there was like cameras in the common area.

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  I guess it could be an apartment like with, with, uh, you know, just a big ass apartment, but you know.

• 1:11:48Stavros Halkias?

  With a common backyard or whatever. So anyway, what, either way, yeah, you're fine, dude. Don't fucking, don't do something if you don't want to. And you know, go, go fuck somewhere else outside where there's no cameras and maybe there's a little more privacy. Your gay, your gay roommates might not see you. About two gay guys, they, they're not dating.

• 1:12:08Speaker 04

  I'm assuming they fucked.

• 1:12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Every couple of hours or so. These people, you have no idea.

• 1:12:17Stavros Halkias?

  I knew a couple of these guys back when I was in Boston. Yeah, yeah, that could be tough. We took care of them. We took care of them. We sucked them off.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  They're gone now.

• 1:12:26Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I kinda, I got embedded to really learn their lifestyle and you, the amount of times they wanted, I said though, when I was under, I'd have to fuck them four or five times a day.

• 1:12:37Stavros Halkias?

  What else we got, LD?

• 1:12:39Speaker 10

  Hey stop, hey eldest, big fan, coming to see you in Pittsburgh this coming Thursday.

• 1:12:45Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, that was a fun show.

• 1:12:46Speaker 10

  So, I know you said not to buy Thursday tickets, but.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's for comedy clubs. That's for comedy clubs. Please buy tickets. Let me be very clear. Come see me anytime I'm at a theater. It's the one time I'm in town. I just said Thursday is kind of a weird day at comedy clubs. It's your warm-up show. If you're a real fan of comedy and you wanna see somebody like really kinda try, try new stuff or kinda get their legs underneath them, it's fun, it's a fun show, but I think, I think the Saturday, Friday, Saturday is better personally.

• 1:13:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. It must be nice to be in a place where you can tell your fans not to come on certain nights.

• 1:13:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's not what I'm saying.

• 1:13:25Speaker 03

  Come Thursday, Friday, any show.

• 1:13:28Stavros Halkias?

  No, listen, buy the Thursday tickets too, but if you have first dibs, I would say as a consumer typically.

• 1:13:35Speaker 03

  Saturday early.

• 1:13:36Stavros Halkias?

  Saturday early is the best show. So, or Saturday late if it's not too late, people aren't too drunk, but yeah. That's all I was saying. But thank you for coming to the show in Pittsburgh. That was a great show.

• 1:13:46Speaker 10

  Awesome, but it's all good. Hopefully you're lit. Um, I'm a Gen Z listener and this call is about AI in college. I don't know if this is pertaining to anything, but I really need advice. So, I use AI to pretty much fucking write everything. I use the generator to see like, oh, it's forty percent AI generated, it's a hundred percent AI generated.

• 1:14:13Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 1:14:14Speaker 10

  Because I feel like the teachers probably use that. But I have these long ass papers, seven page papers.

• 1:14:22Stavros Halkias?

  Seven pages is long?

• 1:14:24Speaker 10

  And they give you so much work, how could I not use AI?

• 1:14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my, pause this shit. Ah, this legit is making me, old man yells a cloud. I really feel like Grandpa Simpson right now. Seven pages is fucking long? Seven double spaced pages? It's not short, but come on, it's not that much fucking work. That's kinda fucking insane. No, we're, we're done, we're cooked. We're so fucked. And look, I get, I empathize, right? Because I remember being in college or even high school and there was shit like summarize dot com or just some random shit that I would do, but it was so clearly, you would get instantly busted if you used it, or Cliff Notes, or like, you know, shit that existed and, and I get it.

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's tempting to use the shortcut, right? But I just, you had, like, me and Elvis are fucking stupid, right? And we could do this easily, yeah, yeah, I mean, Joe, Joe again was getting, was blacking out. He wouldn't even bother even applying for community college. I didn't think about going to college for a single second. And I respect it, and you are right about that. But like, you're complaining about doing something like in one generation essentially, right? From millennial to Gen Z. We're two dumb guys. Seven pages was not that much, it was a little annoying, but it was not that much work. It's become an insurmountable fucking thing for, for these kids that, to not use AI. That is scary.

• 1:15:52Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, let's finish what she's saying, but I, you know, I just wanna say like, we really are fucked and we're essentially cooked here.

• 1:15:59Speaker 10

  Well, could I not use AI? Anyway, let me get to the point. So I have a paper, seven pages. It's forty-five percent AI generated, that's what it's saying, it's saying a hundred percent. And of, some of these other detectors, I use Grammarly. I don't know, sorry for the free look. But should I be paranoid? Like, am I gonna get hit with plagiarism and? Like ruin my fucking life, or should I also not give a fuck because everybody uses it? Everybody uses AI. I see discussion board questions that all are the exact same essay with the same reference and like,

• 1:16:39Speaker 10

  no one gives a fuck like, uh, what's your opinion because you're definitely not going to answer this in time, but for future lessons. Thank you. Love you guys. Bye.

• 1:16:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, here's my opinion and back to old man stuff is like,

• 1:16:53Stavros Halkias?

  don't even go to college then. Like, you know, go just like, you don't have to go to fucking college. I think college for a lot of people is fucking stupid. The only reason I enjoyed going to college is because I met some of my best friends and it was like more of a social thing and like, you know, I I was hosting shows at my college and I used it for that stuff like, but other like, and and it was nice to kind of learn about certain things, you know, uh, that I was interested in, but was it necessary? Even if I wasn't doing comedy, would I have wanted to go to college? Probably not. I probably would have wanted to fucking, ended up like trying to run my own business or do some other shit. Like I didn't like the the jobs that college gives you. I don't think would have been for me. Go to a fucking blue, you know, do a jobs training program, do some other shit.

• 1:17:38Stavros Halkias?

  If you're going to college, what is the fucking point of? You're basically robbing yourself here. I hate to sound like literally a fucking parent, but it's like, the whole point of going to college that you do the reading, you find references, you learn about the topics, and then you have knowledge. It's not to get a grade and get debt. Like, the whole point is to actually learn something. And you are, you're sort of robbing yourself of the ability to get the skills that writing an essay gives you. And I will say, I'm not, you know, I'm not an academic whatever, but it actually has helped me in like,

• 1:18:19Stavros Halkias?

  you know, like I did some pretty writing heavy stuff. It's helped me to like put together scripts, to think about stories, to think about this stuff. I'm sure like all the shit you do, you know, like getting everything together, get, you know, whatever, like, college kind of helps you do that to even like fucking, you know, produce shit.

• 1:18:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, at the very least, even just like finishing it or going through the work teaches you how to like fucking finish something.

• 1:18:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:45Speaker 04

  I've never finished anything in my life. But yeah, it does see, I'm assuming she's like talking about like history or some kind of humanity shit. And yeah, that's like, that is pretty pointless. If you're gonna like do those classes, you might as well just like put in the grunt work and like, you know, why, why waste your time being an information manager?

• 1:19:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:06Speaker 04

  Like doing AI.

• 1:19:07Stavros Halkias?

  Being a middleman to have compute between two fucking apps.

• 1:19:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:11Stavros Halkias?

  You're a middleman between, you know, AI and a word processor.

• 1:19:14Speaker 04

  Or think about like another major.

• 1:19:16Stavros Halkias?

  Right, that, yeah, exactly. Here's where we come down on it. We don't give a fuck about college. We don't think you need to go to fucking college. We're not your fucking parents. But if you choose to go to college, then actually do the fucking thing. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like paying to go to a fucking amusement park and then hiring a guy to ride the roller coasters for you.

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  Like, but that's, this is literally where we're headed.

• 1:19:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:37Speaker 04

  And this is the problem. This is what it is. It's like, everyone's like, why would I do that? It's why there's gonna be no jobs or anything.

• 1:19:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's fucking.

• 1:19:44Speaker 04

  The whole point, when she graduates, she's gonna get a gig. That's just the same thing. You just plug it into AI. We're fu- I mean, we're fucked.

• 1:19:50Stavros Halkias?

  I guess. I mean, maybe that is where, maybe this has become training to use AI for a company. But even that, she just said it. Everyone uses the same references. Like, this will be a problem. Because it's like, it's, this stuff isn't that, and maybe it'll get more sophisticated, whatever, but it's like, yeah, what's the point? That's what I would tell you. You're not fucked because you're gonna ruin your life. And even this, this shows the problem in this thinking, because a lot of kids are just going to college because they're going through the motions. She's, you're going to college, you think it'll help your life, and you, the only reason you're afraid of using AI is because you don't want to get caught and it'll ruin your life. That shit doesn't fucking matter. It's what do you actually want? You're wasting your time if you're using AI for it.

• 1:20:32Stavros Halkias?

  And I know it's hard. I've been there. I've literally looked up stuff and I remember the like, uh, find a good paper, find, somebody's older brother took this class. I got their paper and then I just changed a couple, like, we all cheat a little bit every once in a while. But it's like, ultimately, what are you doing it for?

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  It also it also should feel like gratifying to like, you know, be dumb, but still like come off as smart in the quality of your papers.

• 1:20:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:59Speaker 04

  The workload is heavy, but it feels good like to write a paper. You don't really need to read like an entire book.

• 1:21:06Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  That you're writing on. You need like, you know,

• 1:21:08Stavros Halkias?

  Find the passages.

• 1:21:09Speaker 04

  Two or three good passages to like really squeeze the juice out of.

• 1:21:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:13Speaker 04

  And you could like, you know, fill up a hell of pages talking about that. And sure, you could supplement with some like book summaries or something that you've read, but I don't know. Once you get into like a little flow.

• 1:21:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:25Speaker 04

  But.

• 1:21:26Stavros Halkias?

  But it's I just feel bad because she's like, everybody's doing it. And it's like, I'm again, we're literally being like fucking old people and be like, well, if everybody jumped off a

• 1:21:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:21:34Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking bridge, would you do it, young lady? But I hate to hit you with that, but unfortunately it's like, you know, if you're gonna do this, drop out and fucking go to a fucking, you know, become a construction worker or a fucking x-ray tech or a hairstylist before you fucking just go on AI to get your, you know, answers.

• 1:21:52Speaker 04

  But it's gonna be like steroids in baseball. You're like, I can't stay in the league if I'm not doing it because everyone else is doing it.

• 1:21:58Stavros Halkias?

  But steroids, this is be like if everybody use steroids to bat two thirty, you know what I mean? Like

• 1:22:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:22:03Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone's using AI to just pass.

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:22:06Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, I doubt, I doubt that it's like you're getting incredible work done with AI. I think most people that are using AI are doing it to just like get by or, you know, we all took that stu- I had to take a class called Science of Water. Would I have used AI? Because it was because it was like a fucking requirement to just write a lab report? You know, yeah, I fucking would have. And that's even, you know what? I'll even condone that kind of cheating. Cheat on that dumb bullshit where she's, you know, uh, they make you jump through hoops, but like I, I'm glad I didn't have the opportunity to do it on the papers I actually gave a fuck about. You know what I mean? Like in in the, you know, poli sci shit, in the history shit, in like media study shit I did. I liked learning about that stuff. So, anyway, whatever.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  Also, it's two hydrogens, one oxygen.

• 1:22:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. Oh, science of water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:22:57Stavros Halkias?

  It is. You're right. You got that.

• 1:22:58Speaker 04

  I didn't even go to class.

• 1:23:01Stavros Halkias?

  What was it? So not, didn't even think about, what was your, was that when you were working at Sears? Were you like 18?

• 1:23:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I started working at Sears, well, yeah, I started working at F Y E. For your entertainment and then I went to Sears after. Yeah, but I just, I hated schoolwork. I hated, I hated having to paper and a thing. And I was like, I'm gonna do comedy, getting out. And I did one open mic a week for two years. Didn't even go to a second video. I was like, I gotta hold on, I got a good bite on it.

• 1:23:30Stavros Halkias?

  So you're just living at home?

• 1:23:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, living at home. Every Wednesday I would drive to Boston and do a five minute set and be like, alright.

• 1:23:37Stavros Halkias?

  Mine worked for the week.

• 1:23:40Speaker 03

  Any day. Now you wonder why I fucking am behind. People are like, you've been doing comedy 25 years. I'm like, sort of. I did 60 sets my first year.

• 1:23:52Speaker 03

  And then people, what would happen was on, I'd go Wednesdays and people would be like, how come we never see you at the comedy vault on Sunday? I'm like, what?

• 1:23:59Stavros Halkias?

  Sunday? Well, Wednesday's the day you do comedy, right?

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  And literally for another full year, I did Sunday and Wednesday.

• 1:24:06Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:24:07Speaker 03

  I didn't then be like, wait, so is there also Monday and Tuesday? I just, yeah. That was horrible.

• 1:24:14Stavros Halkias?

  You were having a good time though, right?

• 1:24:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, not really.

• 1:24:17Stavros Halkias?

  No?

• 1:24:17Speaker 03

  A little bit, I was having a good time.

• 1:24:18Stavros Halkias?

  What were you doing on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays?

• 1:24:20Speaker 03

  Drinking.

• 1:24:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:24:21Speaker 03

  Going out drinking with like regular high school buddies.

• 1:24:25Stavros Halkias?

  With all your F Y E money?

• 1:24:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was fucking horrible. That's why these kids these days, now they can get A I and just make clips and be big.

• 1:24:33Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm, that's so true.

• 1:24:35Speaker 03

  But whatever.

• 1:24:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Couple more here, LD, what do you got for us?

• 1:24:40Speaker 11

  What's up, what's up, Elvis and guests? I've put you out on like the past four times I've called just because I get flustered and anyway. So I want to make it quick. My girlfriend has, is great, wonderful. We've been together for a while now, about a year. Uh, no real issues. She has a polyamorous past, which there's nothing wrong with that. Does make me a little uncomfortable in the sense of it's just not what I experienced. But I'm like open to the fact that we all get to the place we're at in different ways, that's fine. My thing is, she also used to be the, the mistress party of affairs

• 1:25:21Speaker 11

  or cheating situations a few times. Like, and she kind of was drawn to. The lack of commitment element to it, the kind of scandal of it and I feel like that makes her kind of an asshole. Um, we brought it up, she says she's, you know, she feels bad about it, but like it doesn't seem like she feels that bad about it. So my question to you is, do you think that that is a reason to uh, cut things off or be wary or anything like that? Um, yeah, let me know. I probably just overreacting, but you know, you never know. Thanks for, adios.

• 1:25:59Stavros Halkias?

  This shit's not gonna work.

• 1:26:04Stavros Halkias?

  So she was fucking married guys? Yeah. She sounds cool. Sounds like my kinda gal. Yeah, I'd like to get to know her. Yeah, I would too, but the fact that the polyamorous, he says polyamorous past, she was like, the, like, I, and obviously, okay, I'm a, I was a little, a little joking, but if I had to bet, does this work out or not?

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so because you guys just aren't aligned on this stuff. And obviously, somebody who, who used to do this kinda shit in their past, they can definitely settle down and they can definitely put that behind them. Or ma- more than likely, maybe they settled down with somebody who had a similar past and they understand each other and they're both okay. Or you settle down with someone who's maybe not poly or, but has less attachment, isn't as jealous. The fact that this is something that you're, you A, kind of are judging her about it, you know? You're more, you're making a moral judgment and saying she's a piece of shit for doing this. And she, and you actually, you don't appreciate the level of atonement she's shown. Like that's a str- from your perspective, you're like, she should feel more bad about this. Right.

• 1:27:13Stavros Halkias?

  And that's one of your problems, let alone the fact that clearly in the back of your fucking head, you're like, is she cheating on me? Right? That's really the problem, um, is that you're like, this is something that clearly is eating away at you. And that's why I'm skeptical of you being able to figure this out, right? Like, you know, whatever, make a moral judgment, you can say whatever she, what she did was wrong, whatever, whatever. Um, and I'm not even saying you're wrong to feel this way. But you do feel this way, right? Like you do, this is clearly something that's bothering you. Cause what is the solution? You tell her like, hey,

• 1:27:53Stavros Halkias?

  I need to see you cry about being a whore four years ago before we take this to the next level. You know what I mean? Like, there's no real solution. You can't go back and have her unsuck a married guy's cock for four months in exchange for her a nice sublet or whatever, or like a fucking used Honda or whatever she was doing. I hope she got the bag, but you know, this is just something where it already feels like he's like, even the poly stuff, he's like, yeah, you know, that's not me, but we all get here in different places. It's like he's doing like generalization and like rationalization speak, so I don't know.

• 1:28:30Speaker 03

  I think you gotta accept in life, accept people for who they are.

• 1:28:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:28:35Speaker 03

  There's certain people, like I remember, I don't wanna give too much away, but there was a person that had a thing and then this other person did a thing and I was like, are you mad at that person? He's like, no, that's who that person is.

• 1:28:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:45Speaker 03

  There's a real life, like you could make this a person you fuck and you like her and then, you know, know that for her past,

• 1:28:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:53Speaker 03

  she may not be loyal.

• 1:28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:55Speaker 03

  Have a chick that you're like, I fucked this chick, but it's never, we're never going to that next level because this is who she is.

• 1:29:00Stavros Halkias?

  Or be the kinda guy who's like, yeah, if you wanna take us to the next level, understand that might happen to you.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:29:07Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, cheating, it is bad, obviously, but it's also, some couples get over it, some people can deal with it. And you should just know that is maybe a possibility. And again, people definitely can change whatever, but

• 1:29:22Stavros Halkias?

  we also, I don't feel like I'm getting a clear picture of her because I do feel like we're getting her through his lens. You know what I mean? It's like, she might not wanna cheat at all anymore. Like she might legitimately have gotten this out of her system, but it's still something that you are obsessed over, so. If you can't accept her, that's a great, accepting people for who they are is huge. Uh, if you can't do that, then yeah, I wouldn't say, you're saying, should I be wary? It's like, you're already wary. What are you talking about? You're clearly wary of the situation. It's like, you have to be honest with yourself and say, can I accept this? Is this the kind of person I want to be with? And if the answer is no, or more, more likely, is this the kind of person that's, it's gonna, I'm gonna be anxious to be with?

• 1:30:04Stavros Halkias?

  I'm always gonna be waiting for her to, you know, to cheat or me to find some emails where she's calling me ugly and sucking a guy's dick or whatever, or some, something different. Uh huh.

• 1:30:15Speaker 04

  I also, I also feel like, you know, does this also come down to that? You just never really got that much pussy? Cause that can, that can eat away at you if you like, meet a girl that's like fucked a lot in the past. And then, you know, she settles down and that just makes you feel, that can make you feel like, hey, what the fuck like, why, you know? She's been ran through by every guy in town.

• 1:30:39Stavros Halkias?

  I can't even watch the Timberwolves game.

• 1:30:43Speaker 04

  So it's like, be honest, is that part of what's going on here?

• 1:30:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:46Speaker 04

  And that's okay too, if it is, like, maybe you're both, they sound like they could definitely both be young and it's like, you know, hey, maybe you just need to sow your walled oats or whatever out there a little more.

• 1:30:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's a great point is like, some people can be with someone who cr- crushes them on body count, right? Some people, it doesn't matter to them. Some people need to be about equal, whether that's a ton or that's low. And it's just, and there's, I honestly have no judgment on either way. I think whatever you want to do, however many people you want to fuck is great. But when you settle down, you have to know what matters to you and make a decision either way. So, good luck, she sounds cool. Um, have her, you know, and maybe have her DM me and I can kind of get her perspective.

• 1:31:31Speaker 04

  And then you forward me her number and we'll just be.

• 1:31:35Stavros Halkias?

  Cause we really want to help you, man, but you know, just kind of let us get into contact with her and really figure this out.

• 1:31:43Speaker 06

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• 1:32:42Speaker 07

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• 1:33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis with a little...

• 1:33:16Speaker 12

  Hey, Josh. Hey, Eldis. Hey, guys. Um, I'm gonna try to make this quick, but basically me and my boyfriend have been together for a couple of months now. And we have really great sex, but the only problem is he lasts kind of long.

• 1:33:32Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 1:33:33Speaker 12

  And it's something that I'm not really used to. And like, when I mean long, I mean like minimum 20 minutes, maximum an hour.

• 1:33:40Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Hard the whole time.

• 1:33:42Speaker 12

  He's doesn't like the best he's ever had. And like, this is the shortest he's lasted with someone. But it's just like, I don't know, I'm not used to it. I'm used to like, max being like 10. Um, and I don't really know what to do about it. So if you could help, that'd be great. Love you guys. Bye.

• 1:34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Um, tell him to get off of antidepressants.

• 1:34:09Speaker 03

  This guy is clearly on Zoloft or something.

• 1:34:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:34:12Speaker 03

  If he's fucking for an hour without coming?

• 1:34:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's, yeah, does he bust? Like, yeah, that's a good point. Are there other pharmaceutical things here?

• 1:34:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, something's at play here.

• 1:34:22Stavros Halkias?

  Is it antidepressants? Also, I've had it where you take too many dick pills and your dick just stops being connected to you. It's just a hard thing. You might as well be wearing, you might as well be wearing a strap on sometimes. And it takes like, oh, like, a while of fucking to nut. Is he taking dick pills? Is he taking antidepressants? If he's just a guy who lasts this long, that's nuts. Also, for you, if it's too much, you can be like, you know, I think.

• 1:34:54Speaker 03

  Shit, sorry.

• 1:34:54Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's all good. You could say like, hey, you know, rail me till I nut. And then maybe, you know, maybe it's time to, you know. Cause usually the problem is you can't stay hard. I've had this happen when I'm not, I'm not hard. So it's like, we fuck for a while and then it's like, all right, well, why don't I just beat off with your tits in my mouth? And I'll nut that way. Maybe you need to do something like, hey, man, an hour of intercourse is too much for me. Like, it's rare that it happens because the guy lasts too long, but it's like, just because this guy's dick is hard for an hour, doesn't mean you have to fuck him for an hour if you don't want to.

• 1:35:29Speaker 03

  No, I used to have, because I, years ago, I was on Paxil when I dated the girl I was talking about earlier. And I just couldn't come. So I would just tell her, like, it's not you. It's me, I'm on this fucking mental, it's a side effect. And, uh, we'll fuck as long as you want and then I'll just fucking crank my cock. And I'd be all blistered up and bleeding and shit. But I'm not gonna just rail on a woman for 30 minutes. It's not, that's not what it's meant for.

• 1:35:53Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:35:54Speaker 03

  Your pussy will be destroyed, especially if you have a huge cock, but.

• 1:35:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:35:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't fuck for 20 minutes minimum, 60 minutes maximum.

• 1:36:02Stavros Halkias?

  Minimum is nuts.

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  It's like you're in the Seinfeld porn.

• 1:36:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, could you do other, like, it is funny, because usually this is a problem the opposite way, where a woman takes an hour to come or whatever. And it's like, in that, in that setup, what you do is some foreplay, you switch it up, you do different stuff, you suck, you finger, you, you know what I mean, you take a little break in the middle, whatever. Maybe you should do this, where it's like, you control the amount of intercourse, because it's too much for you, and then you just kind of do other stuff and help him not in other ways, but, you know, you don't have to feel like you have to do, and then also, I don't know, is there like stuff to make you nut faster? Because I know they have like numbing gels to make you not nut, but there's gotta be some, maybe put something up his ass.

• 1:36:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, try to surpris-, I feel like I come the best in fa-, I've been in a relationship for a long time, when I'm surprised by something.

• 1:36:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:55Speaker 03

  Like, she'll be like, oh god.

• 1:36:56Stavros Halkias?

  She's got a dick.

• 1:36:57Speaker 03

  Fuck my ex. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. I like coming my ass. You just say something you haven't said before, and he'll be like, whoa, Jesus, you know, throw him off.

• 1:37:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, switch up the routine, I mean, this definitely feels like it's something medical, though, otherwise this man's a marvel, a marvel of science. Um, and also the thing of like, the best he's ever had, all that stuff's great, but it's like, you also sometimes, you can't, you know, every time can't be the best time. You know what I mean, especially in a relationship, it's like, you can't have your best perfor-, sometimes it's just gotta be like, you know, not every game is game seven, sometimes it's a regular season, he's gotta get through it. You know what I mean, you don't have to bring your best stuff every time, that can be a little, you know, that can be a little tiring, and I think that's probably where you guys are at. You've gotta make the transition from that honeymoon period of a relationship, where the, the sex is insane,

• 1:37:51Stavros Halkias?

  to something a little more sustainable here, I think, but.

• 1:37:54Speaker 03

  And it's possible you're ugly.

• 1:37:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, are you busted? Is your pussy fucked up? We haven't even considered that.

• 1:38:01Speaker 03

  You could just be a hideous human and, uh, and he hates you. It could be like my girlfriend was with me.

• 1:38:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:38:07Speaker 03

  Loves everything about you. Unattractive, gross looking face.

• 1:38:11Stavros Halkias?

  Keeps getting snagged on her pussy.

• 1:38:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:13Speaker 04

  I do wonder if he's secretly taking dick pills too.

• 1:38:16Stavros Halkias?

  He might be.

• 1:38:16Speaker 04

  Cause they've only been dating for a couple of months.

• 1:38:18Stavros Halkias?

  He might be.

• 1:38:19Speaker 04

  That seems like a habit that just could keep running with after you're like off the market or something and yeah, he could be like, well, this is still pretty new. I still gotta bring my A game to the fucking.

• 1:38:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:38:31Speaker 04

  So.

• 1:38:32Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know that the bait and switch.

• 1:38:33Speaker 04

  But how do you even ask that to someone who's like been secretly like fucking you with dick pills for like months?

• 1:38:39Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I don't think we need to cast judgment on a man like that, you know? I think it's like, I don't even say secretly makes it sound surreptitious. The man has pharmaceutical needs. Would you say secretly taking Advil if he has a headache, Aldous? I think you're kind of, you're kind of being pretty rude to the ED community here, let's say.

• 1:38:58Speaker 04

  Aren't you like 32 years old?

• 1:39:00Stavros Halkias?

  Huh?

• 1:39:00Speaker 04

  Aren't you like 32 years old?

• 1:39:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm 36 and I'm obese. Thank you very much.

• 1:39:04Speaker 04

  I'll throw him in the mix when I really want a nice performance.

• 1:39:07Speaker 03

  I've never had a single boner problem.

• 1:39:09Speaker 04

  Very good for you.

• 1:39:10Speaker 03

  Even when I was drinking.

• 1:39:10Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's all scabbed up.

• 1:39:12Speaker 03

  Same way, yeah, no, it's a mess, but same woman, 14 years, hard as a rock, baby.

• 1:39:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, some of us are really fat and secretly gay. Is that what you want to hear?

• 1:39:21Speaker 03

  Well, I am fit and secretly gay.

• 1:39:25Speaker 03

  And clip it.

• 1:39:31Stavros Halkias?

  Um, anyway. So yeah, whatever. Have, can you have a, but I think, I think in the middle of that, we gave you good advice before going off the deep end, so.

• 1:39:40Speaker 03

  About how ugly you are.

• 1:39:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, you sound hot.

• 1:39:45Speaker 03

  I think I only got time for one more.

• 1:39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I was gonna say.

• 1:39:47Speaker 03

  I gotta go, uh, get back to the baby. My wife hates me.

• 1:39:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, please, something to go out on here.

• 1:39:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is a woman calling in with some insight to a call we got on Mark Norman's episode. It was the guy who was like obsessed with making girls come every single time he fucked.

• 1:40:03Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:40:03Speaker 04

  Um, so here's what one listener has to say.

• 1:40:06Stavros Halkias?

  Let's hear it from her.

• 1:40:08Speaker 13

  Hey Sav, uh, first time, long time. I just had a pause, I'm listening to the Mark Normand episode, um, and he just finished the question from the guy who was like, "Why can't I get these girls to come?" And his energy was kind of off about it. Uh, just wanted to throw in my two cents here. I am not a comer, I love sex.

• 1:40:28Stavros Halkias?

  Love sex, not a comer.

• 1:40:29Speaker 13

  I'm a hard come.

• 1:40:30Stavros Halkias?

  Pause this. You gotta tip your hat to women, by the way. Like, it's like, sometimes you go to the girl, she's like, "Look, it's hard, it's hard, don't..." Like, you'll be eating pussy for twenty minutes, she's like, "Hey, it's all good, it's not your fault, I just don't..." And it's like, insane for me. Imagine if you didn't nut? I'd be like, "Well, I'm never going outside. I'm gonna watch games."

• 1:40:50Speaker 03

  I was this guy, I'm telling you. I would, I would, I just wouldn't come.

• 1:40:53Stavros Halkias?

  And you still wanted to fuck?

• 1:40:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it's awesome to fuck.

• 1:40:56Stavros Halkias?

  I guess you're right.

• 1:40:56Speaker 03

  I always said, I'm like, "The fucking is great, coming is nice."

• 1:40:59Stavros Halkias?

  Coming's-

• 1:41:00Speaker 03

  But fucking's wonderful.

• 1:41:01Stavros Halkias?

  Coming's pretty good.

• 1:41:02Speaker 03

  It's great! But like, fucking is pretty good, too.

• 1:41:05Stavros Halkias?

  You're right, you're right.

• 1:41:06Speaker 03

  You're dickin' a hot, wet asshole, or a vagina. Fuck!

• 1:41:11Stavros Halkias?

  Clip it!

• 1:41:16Stavros Halkias?

  You're right.

• 1:41:16Speaker 03

  Please cut that, please cut that.

• 1:41:19Stavros Halkias?

  We'll put this into the thing we cut out earlier.

• 1:41:24Stavros Halkias?

  Um, I got you, okay, let's, let's let her finish, let's let her finish.

• 1:41:27Speaker 03

  She can't.

• 1:41:29Speaker 13

  Something I think is an important, you know, factor to add in to what you guys were talking about. I've been on antidepressants for fifteen years. Like, it's gonna take a lot to get me to come.

• 1:41:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:41:40Speaker 13

  And when I'm having sex with a guy for the first time, uh, seeing how they handle the fact that I'm not gonna come is sort of really a good vibe check. Like, obviously if it's a one-night stand or whatever, it's different, but if someone's super fixated on it, and they can't like, trust me when I say, "No, like, actually, I'm, I'm good, I'm having fun in other ways", that's gonna be like, the number one turnoff.

• 1:42:04Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:42:05Speaker 13

  So I just, I just wanted to add that in there, love the show, I love you guys, have a good one.

• 1:42:10Speaker 03

  I can see how many female listeners you have, it's so nice.

• 1:42:13Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, it is nice, shout out to our female listeners.

• 1:42:15Speaker 03

  We have like, three.

• 1:42:17Stavros Halkias?

  And they've all transitioned probably, they all got into you when they were like 14 year old dudes that didn't get pussy. Like, well, this is what I'm gonna stick around. They're male women. Yeah, they're your male, yeah, you're trying to get bukkaked by them. Yeah, that's, I think that's good, and I remember that guy's call, cuz he was weird about it. And there are guys that are like that, that are like, I gotta make her come, it's almost like a little, he needs a little checklist on his own. And I think the best thing when a woman tells you she has trouble is like, give it, give it a good effort, but don't not, you know, make it seem like you tried as hard as you would, like, you don't hear that and be like, great, I don't have to try at all. Give it the same effort you would to anybody else, and then if it's not happening,

• 1:42:58Stavros Halkias?

  you know, that's, uh, you, you have, you have clearance to just nut really fast, you know, cuz that's, that's my style of lovemaking, is let's do our best to make the girl come, and then, once that's been checked off, alright, time to bust hysterically quick. Time to get pussy and just nut in five minutes. I've just never cared if the woman comes.

• 1:43:21Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck do I care? Clip it! Yeah, Joe. Why would I give a fuck about anything a woman thinks or feels? Oh, I'm suppo, oh, I guess I gotta care if the urinal's happy I'm pissing in it too.

• 1:43:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, get a vibrator and, uh, whatever the fuck. Sure, sure. You know, who do I care? Yeah, just, listen, do your best, if a girl tells you she can't nut, don't take it personal. That's gonna do it for us, folks. This is probably our most, uh, immediately censored episode of, maybe we'll have to, we, we should maybe also put this on the Patreon, uh, uh, when it gets demonetized. This is my big plug, this is my special, it's crazy! I'm saying after, let's, let's, let's have the unabridged version. Where you can see all the, we might have to bleep out a couple cons here and there. Oh, I see. Uh, but maybe- That's for some reason we said "good". You said it when you said, you said it on your special.

• 1:44:21Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 1:44:22Stavros Halkias?

  We'll bleep it here too, though, it doesn't matter.

• 1:44:23Speaker 04

  Let's, let's also, let's also plug the Patreon. We started putting all the apps on there too.

• 1:44:28Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, some have complained that we're getting too ma- that we're advertising. It's like, it's a free show, dickheads. How do you think we're supposed to make this happen? Uh, so, yeah, we're, we're, we're advertising, but if you are a beloved Patreon subscriber, it's not more money, it's the same five bucks and change that we cha- charge for everything. We've also started putting the ad-free episodes for our patrons on there. So, if you subscribe to the Patreon, you get a, a bonus episode every week, and then you get these episodes with all the ads cut out, uh, and all the curses left in. So, all the good stuff. So, yeah, that's true. We should start promoting. It's so funny, dude, we did a tour and we forgot to promote the dates on my own podcast. We just-

• 1:45:11Speaker 04

  I've done that.

• 1:45:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's so, we're so stupid.

• 1:45:13Speaker 04

  We plugged it like three or four times over the three months.

• 1:45:15Stavros Halkias?

  All the ones we plugged did much better, by the way, than the ones we didn't. Whatever, we're dumb. Uh, I guess let's plug the fact I'm coming to the UK, that we're coming to Boston, your hometown, I'll be there, and I'll be in Austin as well, and we're adding some shows to the Dreamboat Tour. Me and Nell just want to do a grimy one in the fall, where we just get like a minivan and go through the south, because we did all these theaters, we want to go do shitty clubs again.

• 1:45:38Speaker 04

  Oh, that sounds fun.

• 1:45:39Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so we'll see, we're, uh, stay, stay, stay posted for that. And of course, go watch Small Ball. We've, we've already linked it, we already plugged it. We'll share it on everything, and, uh, Joe's one of the, you're truly one of the funniest comics in the world.

• 1:45:53Speaker 04

  Thanks, buddy.

• 1:45:54Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, you guys are gonna love the new special.

• 1:45:56Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:45:57Stavros Halkias?

  See you next time, guys. Bye-bye.

• 1:46:14Speaker 06

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So, when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take If Allergic to NerTec ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's Syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers

• 1:46:59Speaker 06

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NER-TAC or visit nerTAC.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:47:16Speaker 14

  The Disney Plus, Hulu, HBO Max bundle. The best in entertainment in one bundle. This is gonna be a good time. With new seasons of your favorites like Percy Jackson and the Olympians on Disney+

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  Do you ever get used to all this? Nope.

• 1:47:28Speaker 14

  The scandalous All's Fair on Hulu.

• 1:47:30Speaker 03

  Let's give these girls a show.

• 1:47:32Speaker 14

  And the high society drama of the HBO original, The Gilded Age, on HBO Max. What have I gotten myself into? Streaming this month. Plans starting at $21.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit DisneyPlusHuluMaxBundle.com for details.