#130 - PFT

Barstool's PFT joins the pod for a special episode from the Barstool offices in Chicago to discuss his proto Breaking Bad concept, the agony of kidney stones, working as a used dog salesman, the origins of PFT Commenter, why kush is so damn strong, and much more. PFT and Stav help callers including a man who's distraught that his wife is getting a breast reduction, and a woman who got ghosted after getting lovebombed for a month. Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order and enjoy free shipping on orders over $75. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Follow PFT on social media: https://www.instagram.com/pftcommenter/ https://x.com/PFTCommenter Check out Pardon My Take: https://www.youtube.com/@PardonMyTakePodcast 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:26Speaker 01

  At Lowe's this Veterans Day and every day. Military members, veterans and their spouses get automatic MyLowe's Rewards Silver Status Benefits. Plus 10% off eligible purchases with no annual limit. It's one way we honor and give back to those who have served and still do. Learn more and verify now at Lowe's.com/military. 10% discount can't be combined with another offer. Exclusions, terms and conditions apply. Loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details at Lowe's.com/terms. Subject to change.

• 0:56Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We are here in our Chicago, a little Chicago stint. We're at the Barstool headquarters. We got our boy PFT, Eric "Suckdickenburger," is that correct?

• 1:14Speaker 03

  Suckdickenburger, really? Suckdickenburger, it was Suckdickenberg. Tried to change it if I wanted it to be mainstream, yeah.

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  I love it, dude. Our boy PFT, thanks for coming, dude. Thanks for being on the show.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's interesting because you really did get, you got famous and you, as a, you, like, starting as a character. You know what I mean? Because it's like, like, even after we were friends, it took me maybe a year to learn your actual name.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 1:42Speaker 03

  I like it like that, yeah.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  And even your last, like, even your last, and it feels strange to call you Eric, even. And that must be, you're like, definitely people feel, you know, there's a, there's a separation between who you are on mic and who you are off for everyone. But for you, it must be like extra kind of schizophrenic. Because you're such a defined character. And then you're just like this guy that like, I feel like I've hung out with Eric, like... For four hours of my whole life.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 2:09Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 2:10Speaker 03

  You spent more time PFT, yeah.

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I spent more time PFT and I've been thinking about PFT because like before I knew you, I actually did, I would read KSK.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  And so I knew, I knew that character and I was like, I was confused as to what the fuck was going on when you first popped up. And then like when you, and then when it was you and you were just like a young guy, like you know what I mean? Like, I didn't really know what was, and for those who aren't big like, you know, football blog readers from 2011 like I was. Uh, PFT was a, you were a character making fun of old guys on a website called Pro Football Talk.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, the comment section.

• 2:44Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. So you were, you were basically like, like sports Reddit guys, basically. You were making fun of the comment section of a, of a sort of like, the, Pro Football Talk is a little more old. Does it skew older, would you say, or what do you think?

• 2:58Speaker 03

  I think it skews a little bit older and it definitely did at the time and it was, uh, it was like the stupidest football fans. But also kind of the most entertaining with like the craziest takes.

• 3:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I mean, I would have to, I would sit down at my computer and write blogs for like five hours at a time. And then I would have to do something that made me feel like I wasn't a complete fucking moron afterwards. Otherwise I would just start to think like this guy. So I'd like log off and then go pick up a book and just look at the book for a little bit. So I felt like I wasn't turning into this guy. But yeah, now it's more, I, I would say now what you get in terms of what I do, a part of my take is like 60% PFT, 40% Eric.

• 3:37Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Cause.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  You're weaning them in, you're letting them slowly learn you as a human being instead of a troll character.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  And, and for those people that weren't online chronically from like 2012 to 2015.

• 3:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Like absorbing the culture that I was, that the character was born in, you lose a lot of that context.

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  And so I still, like, me and Big Cat still do a lot of the trolly stuff.

• 3:56Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  We still like fuck around, but, uh, yeah, you're, you're starting to see more and more of the real Eric.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  Of you as a human being and not just like an ethereal idea.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like even like, like I feel like I didn't see your eyes until, like I just had no idea what your eyes looked like. You were a sunglasses guy.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  I didn't want people to know what I looked like. I was like, surely I'll be able to work at Barstool Sports and stay off camera.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  That was honestly my idea.

• 4:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  I didn't want people to know what I looked like.

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  That would have been fun though, actually. I think like, or you're just in a shadowy figure in glasses and like, you're lit kinda poorly.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:31Stavros Halkias?

  They should have done that.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  Well, we tried to do stuff like that at first.

• 4:34Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  And then, uh, then like everybody, we would hire just interns for the summer and their job would be to walk around with a camera, with their phone and videotape everything that's going on. Sometimes I would be in the background. And then they'd have to like, look at their phone, be like, oh shit, I have to delete this because PFT was in the background. I'm like, now I'm making this like 19 year olds job harder.

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  So fuck it, I'll just be on camera a little bit more. But yeah, I got, I got really into the character for a little bit. Like I planned a lot of stuff out because I didn't want people to know my real name. It was funnier if they could just like,

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Pretend that this was an actual guy, suspend disbelief. So I sat down one day and I was like, I gotta think of a name for this guy. Like what would his name be? And the name I settled on was Wayne Tables.

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  Wayne Tables isn't bad.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  Wayne is a great shithead name.

• 5:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  And then his family, uh, if you go back throughout the years, like they had a job, they worked with their hands, but they're not like, you can't say carpenter. They weren't good enough at everything. They just built tables.

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  They could make tables.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, they built tables. So it's like Wayne Tables was the name I was gonna go with.

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's so fascinating.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  And then Dicky V called me Patrick the other day. Cause before we, before we did our interview with him.

• 5:40Stavros Halkias?

  Cause PFT, there's a T and a P in there?

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Well, at the start of it, he was like, my, my grandkids told me, you gotta go on with Big Cat and, uh, and PDF. And I was like, I hope he doesn't call me PDF. Like you can arrange those any other way that you want. And then halfway through the interview, he went from calling me PTF and he just switched up. He's, and he started calling me Patrick.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, dude.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  I was like, fuck it, if Dicky V calls me Patrick, I'm Patrick from today. Yeah. I'll be a bitch, Dicky V.

• 6:06Stavros Halkias?

  I love it, dude. Shout out to Dicky V, old as hell.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:09Stavros Halkias?

  Old as hell, still kicking. Oh, goddamn, that is very funny, dude. And then what is the, yeah, it's funny to just think of you as like an ethereal, but probab- when it really comes down to it, you're just a guy, you're like literally a guy, some guy from, were you from Virginia?

• 6:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, Fairfax County originally.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Fairfax, okay. I did some open mics in Fairfax.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah?

• 6:29Stavros Halkias?

  So you're, yeah, you're a fellow sort of DMV boy.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  I am, I was an O's fan. I don't want to say like fan, I guess I liked the Orioles when I was growing up, because it was like, if you go to a major league baseball game, it's gonna be the Orioles.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  We had a lot of that, we had a lot of like, we, like, Angelos was mad when the Nationals came around, because he was just like, what the fuck? I don't have to try and these people are my fans, but yeah. No, Baltimore, yeah, I mean, the Orioles were, were great, but, it just, the ballpark was great when we were kids too, it was just like a fun, fun place to be.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  My first game was at Memorial Stadium, so I went to like the old one, that was my first baseball game.

• 7:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking crazy.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  And then I would go to an Orioles game like, maybe once or twice a year, but then the second we got the Nats, I was like, fuck that.

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Like, that's, that's my team now.

• 7:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, and I could never like root for any DC, it just feels so wrong to root for anything from DC as a Baltimore.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:18Stavros Halkias?

  We're just such different, we're such different towns. Why DC was your father like an evil weapons contractor?

• 7:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, my dad was, no.

• 7:26Stavros Halkias?

  Are you in the CIA, are you a CIA plant?

• 7:29Speaker 03

  My grandfather did work for the State Department for a little bit.

• 7:33Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  But, he got hired, he was the guy that would like, decide, he would help people when they were doing the Foreign Service Exam. Because like back in the, I want to say 30s, if you're gonna be a diplomat somewhere, they didn't even make you learn the language. To go over there, that's how dumb we were. And, and he was a missionary to China for like 30 years back.

• 7:56Stavros Halkias?

  Your grandfather?

• 7:57Speaker 03

  I just found out, he was, he was at the Rape of Nanking.

• 8:00Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, so his-

• 8:02Stavros Halkias?

  What was he up to?

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Which, which side of those-

• 8:07Stavros Halkias?

  He put on a fucking Samurai outfit and it was like, alright, switching sides.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  No, he was like, he was working-

• 8:12Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ, he was there?

• 8:14Speaker 03

  He was, he was like delivering food to the Chinese and like-

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Helping the Chinese farmers and peasants like escape. What was going on? So he was working with like the communists and the nationalists at the same time. Cause at the time it was like.

• 8:26Stavros Halkias?

  It was just one big, yeah, China was kind of all over the place.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  We'll settle our differences after Japan gets the fuck out of here.

• 8:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  So he was over there for a little bit and then he came back to the US and he said, I want to keep working, doing the same job that I'm doing, but I don't want to work with the church anymore.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Can the government, can, I think it would be beneficial to the US if we helped the poor people in China survive after World War II.

• 8:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  And so.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Some hearts and minds.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Hearts and minds, yeah. Was it Belton, whatever it is that China is doing?

• 8:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Uh, but then he came back to DC and uh, he started working for the State Department and the Foreign Service Institute. Helping people, like putting in rules like you have to be able to speak the language if you're going to work there. So he worked there for a little bit and moved out to uh, to McClain, like a tiny house and then uh, like giant mansions just pop. So his, his neighbors were all like lobbyists and lawyers by the end of his life out there.

• 9:23Stavros Halkias?

  Brutal.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, so he didn't, he didn't really like his neighbors too much.

• 9:26Stavros Halkias?

  He was like, I want to, I don't want to work for the corrupt church anymore. What I need to do is uh, work in the, for the State Department of the United States.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 9:35Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe the old, I don't know, what's more corrupt? The Catholic church or uh, the intelligence community? Either way, it ain't good. Either way, you're not surrounded by the, the best people. That's fucking crazy. I mean, it might, did you, so was that like, uh, were you like surrounded by that? So you started your life there?

• 9:53Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  Did you grow up there the whole time? Were you in Fairfax the whole time?

• 9:55Speaker 03

  I was in Herndon growing up.

• 9:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Herndon, okay.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  So my, my street in Herndon was like run by MS-13.

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Cause if you look at like the evolution of MS-13 as a gang.

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  I think it started in LA.

• 10:10Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  And then it sprouted out to like Herndon, Virginia.

• 10:15Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  In Fairfax County.

• 10:16Stavros Halkias?

  Just one guy moved there.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  It might've been something like that. And then uh, yeah, it was uh, like a very El Salvadorian neighborhood.

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  That I grew up in. But it was, yeah, it was a, it was a pretty, pretty chill.

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Like they didn't fuck with me too much.

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  They were just like, okay, he's gonna walk to school. Let him walk to school.

• 10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  But they're definitely supermercados that I was not supposed to go in.

• 10:36Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  At certain hours. I'll say this, though. People don't talk about El Salvadoran food.

• 10:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Papoosas are delicious.

• 10:43Stavros Halkias?

  Really good stuff.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  Really good. I mean, it's the same ingredients. It's like flour, cheese.

• 10:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but they do it in a better, it's like kind of mashed up in a nice way. It's like a cheesy, it's like a better, it's like the best version of stuffed crust pizza possible. If you took the idea of a stuffed crust, separated from the pizza and just make it something cheesy, a little cheesy pocket, great stuff.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  It is good.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  Papoosas are great. What's the crew look like? Who are you fleeing MS-13 with as a suburban Virginia boy? What's the, who's the, like, it was me and Eldis over AIM, like, you know, our crew was like, who were the, who were the fellas when you're probably just a dork who loves football, trying not to get beat up by the El Salvadorians?

• 11:23Speaker 03

  I mean, that was.

• 11:23Stavros Halkias?

  Who were your boys?

• 11:24Speaker 03

  That was like my neighborhood that was like, had a lot of the MS-13. The other side of town didn't have as much.

• 11:29Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  And so by the time middle school hit, met those guys, still friends to this day. They do the Hard Factor podcast.

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  So like Will, Mark, Pat, Wes, those guys from that show, we all kind of like bonded together in middle school. And Pat, obviously, who's still, he's, we call him the beef now.

• 11:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, so he's still like one of my best friends.

• 11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's one of your best friends? Oh, I didn't know that.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, since like middle school.

• 11:53Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  We would hang out, hijinks, like.

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  Get into some mischief, all that shit. And then we go off to college and we stayed in touch and we started a sketch comedy group.

• 12:01Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 12:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, right out of college, moved to Charlottesville, Virginia. That was our idea of like moving to an artistic city.

• 12:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the artistic city, Charlottesville.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  There's a lot of filmmaking going on in Charlottesville. So me and my five boys are gonna move there and get fucking blackout.

• 12:15Stavros Halkias?

  Stay in Virginia, by the way.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  We're gonna get blackout.

• 12:17Stavros Halkias?

  We're not gonna even think about moving out of the state.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Dude, stay in central Virginia.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. You can even make it to Richmond.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Dude, I went, I went east of Massanuton and I was like, this is, this is paradise, man.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  And so we were like, we're gonna make, we're gonna make movies, we're gonna make sketch comedy, it's gonna be great. But we all like to party way more than we were able to focus on like doing the artistic shit. And then after like, I don't know, nine months, a year of being in Charlottesville, we're like, Charlottesville's just not happening for us.

• 12:50Stavros Halkias?

  This is the name for, the scene, the scene is dead. The vibrant Charlottesville scene. We were here a year too late.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:56Stavros Halkias?

  We gotta switch it up.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  We got, it's not us, it's the city.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  So let's move to Austin, because Austin is like Charlottesville on steroids.

• 13:05Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  It's like real burgeoning film scenes.

• 13:08Stavros Halkias?

  And this is probably, what, 2005, 6, 7?

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Moved to Austin in 2008, I believe.

• 13:14Stavros Halkias?

  Eight, okay, sorry, yes.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  So we go down there and my, uh, my dream and our dream at the time was to make a movie out of a short story that, that I wrote that we turned into a, a short film.

• 13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  And the premise of the short film was a, a high school dropout. And he decides to support his family by making and selling methamphetamines with his high school chemistry teacher.

• 13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, you had From Jesse's Point of View, Breaking Bad.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:47Stavros Halkias?

  You had Jesse's POV, Breaking Bad, Locked and Loaded.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think the, the point was his...

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  Just with none of the social commentary whatsoever. It's just a criminal. Like, there's no catch 22, there's no moral quandary, there's just like...

• 13:59Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he just wants to sell drugs and not go to school.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Exactly. Well, it was, he wanted to sell drugs because he wanted his mom to buy him an Xbox. And his mom wasn't making enough money as a stripper, so he wanted to make money so he could buy...

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta have the mom stripper. You gotta see her tits at some point in the movie.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  His idea was, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna sell meth so I can afford to get my mom a boob job."

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's a good son.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  And then, then the money starts flowing in.

• 14:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good son, yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  And then she'll buy me an Xbox.

• 14:29Stavros Halkias?

  So it was about the, the healthcare system. It just wasn't chemo, it was fucking fake tits for your mom.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude. People are always like, uh, I remember back in 2016, they're like, "Yeah, you know, the, the Chapo, come town, part of my take, resistance movement."

• 14:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Really caring about the healthcare in, in this country. Yeah, I was there from day one.

• 14:46Stavros Halkias?

  Day one, trying to get tits for moms.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, so...

• 14:50Stavros Halkias?

  And I agree with that. Honestly, my dream in life is to buy, is to find a woman I trust so much, I buy her tits. That's love to me.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Cause you're not getting that back.

• 14:58Stavros Halkias?

  The tits can go at any moment. The tits go out with her, and that to me is proof that you really love someone if you buy her tits.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  That's super altruistic.

• 15:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, "I'm doing this for you."

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  "I'm doing this for you."

• 15:09Speaker 03

  "It's not for me at all."

• 15:10Stavros Halkias?

  I'm completely... Look, there's some benefits for me, but I'm completely at your mercy here.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:14Stavros Halkias?

  You take the tits, the tits are yours.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not like an engagement ring.

• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's more than an engagement, you know, exactly. It's better than, you should have to buy your wife-to-be big fake tits to show that you really mean it. Because not only that, you're making her more attractive. You're actually helping her if she wanted to cheat on you. That's how much you trust her. You're like, I'm handing you the gun to shoot me with, and I trust that you'll put it away and not, you know what I mean?

• 15:37Speaker 03

  You gotta be confident dude to do that.

• 15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. Well, that's what I'm saying, I'm not there yet.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's my goal, that's what I wanna find, a woman I buy tits for, so.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  You gotta go to like a psychiatrist and be like, yeah, I just wanna, I want to get to a point where I'm so confident that I can get my girl tits. Can you help me, doc?

• 15:53Stavros Halkias?

  Doctor, please help me, or get so rich that money doesn't mean anything and I'll buy anyone tits.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, 20 year anniversary, you upgrade the tits just like the diamond?

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, dude. You should be able to do that, that would be, that is true love, I think. Uh, that's, that's beautiful, man, and I guess, uh, that's still in development now?

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's still in development.

• 16:15Stavros Halkias?

  You should do it now with the resources at Barstool. You should shoot like a really shit, take like a weekend and just like storyboard it with like your cameras here and just shoot a really bad version of that movie.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  That's not a bad idea. I was pissed off for a little bit though when Breaking Bad came out.

• 16:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  I was like, this motherfucker Vince Gilligan stole my idea.

• 16:31Stavros Halkias?

  He stole my shit, dude.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  Stole my shit, and, uh, and then after a while I was like, you know what, maybe, maybe I'll try watching it.

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  Tune in for an episode, and I was like, this is the best show I've ever seen in my entire life.

• 16:42Stavros Halkias?

  I created this.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is for me.

• 16:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Visible, the smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises, we love it. We just got a new assistant, she loves it, she's taking all our sushi orders, they're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my god, they're the best. Today at visible.com, the visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium visible plus pro

• 17:26Stavros Halkias?

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• 18:10Stavros Halkias?

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• 18:51Stavros Halkias?

  I do love that though, because sometimes you like people, like I'll, I've been, I was off Instagram, I was like off my phone for a while, just trying to, I took a year to kind of get off shit and like lose weight and all this stuff. And recently, since I've been on the tour, I'm looking at my phone, I'm promoting the shows, I'm just on my phone way more than I used to. So I'm checking my DMs, like the way I didn't used to. And sometimes you'll just get like, guys being like, dude, I got an incredible movie script idea. You play a fat, lovable loser and you get divorced. And I'm like, I'm not sure exactly what happens, but like, at the end, you like, you get, you like, show all your, like, you have like this bitch ex-wife and you Get over and it's just like not an idea at all.

• 19:33Stavros Halkias?

  It's just like kind of stuff they've seen from other stuff and been like, so yeah, man, whenever you're ready to talk about this, like this is a really like. And it's just like what people think is an idea. Like you definitely thought the concept of a guy selling meth to get his mom tits was like, that's the idea. That's a true, like that's enough to be considered like they're stealing from me.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  A million percent.

• 19:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like you were pissed off.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  It was mostly the, the high school chemistry teacher.

• 19:59Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  That part of it, I was like, well, they, that's, I like that part.

• 20:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I love how you were like, you know, the more compelling character is the stupid high school dropout. Not the kind of teacher who would be, who would be forced under certain circumstances of formerly upstanding member of society. That's not interesting. He's the sidekick. I need the white trash idiot.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  It was a coincidence that that happened to be the character that I would play.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  He's the star. Yeah, yeah. I know. I think about that too, where I'm like, damn, I can't all the idea, like in my head, all the ideas that you would do when you were starting out are about young people finding, and it's like, I could never play, I'm like, I'm so fat and old now. That it's like, I have to make things about a divorced guy. You know what I mean? Like I have to make things about like a guy. It's things I haven't even experienced because my, my face and body look like a man that's lived the life, even though I have the life experience of some fucking dumbass, like, you know, kid or whatever.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  You've watched a coming of age movie and it's like clearly 26, 27 year old actors.

• 21:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  You're thinking of ways that you could play like a 45 year old guy.

• 21:06Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't play guys that are older than me. I got like, I got the stuff I get auditions for, it's just like, oh, come on, man.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  You can pull off a high schooler, stop it. That would be great. Like just make a movie about high school. Like it's about high school, but the actors are all clearly in their 40s.

• 21:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's fine. I mean, the, they, when they did that with Wet Hot American Summer 2, that was funny.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  We just watched Mac and Devon go to high school, which is Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  Who are both playing high school students. Wiz Khalifa, now look, they give, they give Snoop some plausible deniability. They make him, they say he's been in school for what, like 12 years, Aldous?

• 21:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:44Stavros Halkias?

  Or fifteen years, which would make him like thirty years old. Like, when this, when did this come out in two thousand twelve? So Snoop was probably fifty-five years old, playing a fucking, play, or actually, he's a little younger than you think, because he got famous when he was like sixteen or whatever, but still, it's hilarious that they are both high school students.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  I love that. How have I not heard of this movie?

• 22:04Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, you, you will love this movie. It makes no sense. So Wiz Khalifa is the uptight nerd. So he, he's the uptight nerd that's, that Snoop just offers weed to, and instantly, he's cool as shit. Like, he smokes weed for like forty seconds, and like, ten minutes later, he, he has like a soft core porn scene. Like, he's literally in the champagne room of a strip club, and it's like a two-minute scene. And they cut, they see your, like, it's simulated penetration. It's fucking, it's incredible.

• 22:36Speaker 04

  He's like motorboating her tits.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  That's what happens the first time you smoke weed. You're not, you don't get like anxiety. And you don't think like, everyone here knows that I'm high. Oh, is it my parents? Is that their footsteps? No, you just, you go straight for the tits.

• 22:51Stavros Halkias?

  You become fucking awesome.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  It's like Stefan in Steve Urkel.

• 22:55Stavros Halkias?

  It really, it really is, man. No, that, that, that's a great, I think you'll really enjoy that flick, man.

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Do you agree with me that weed got too strong?

• 23:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Like, we've reached that point, right?

• 23:05Stavros Halkias?

  I am dealing with that right now, where I actually, a buddy bought me joints that are literally, like, they're like, you puff on them four times and they're out, and I smoked one of those, and it was the perfect amount.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:18Stavros Halkias?

  I can't smoke a whole joint. I need to smoke one eighth of a joint, and they're selling those. It's like, how about we just make the weed a little easier?

• 23:25Speaker 03

  Bring back mids.

• 23:26Stavros Halkias?

  Bring back mids, bro. Bring back mids. Like, I need old man weed. I need like, how Michelob Ultra's two percent by volume.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  Give me two percent by volume joints. Give me, give me a watered-down joint.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. You wanna go in on this?

• 23:39Stavros Halkias?

  I would a hundred percent do like, easy, like, easy joints or something like that, like.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  Just call it regular weed.

• 23:45Stavros Halkias?

  Regular weed.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  I don't know, yeah, maybe easy joints.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  Or like, uh, yeah, old man, old man Kush?

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Weed Zero.

• 23:53Stavros Halkias?

  Weed Zero is not bad.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Then that implies like, zero percent.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  Weed Light?

• 23:57Speaker 03

  Weed Light, yeah.

• 23:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Throwback Kush.

• 24:00Stavros Halkias?

  Throwback Kush, heirloom Kush.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Ooh, I like that.

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  Heirloom Kush.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  That sounds prestigious and classy.

• 24:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  For the discerning palate.

• 24:07Stavros Halkias?

  Old man heirloom Kush, that's not bad.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  Do you want to be able to-

• 24:11Stavros Halkias?

  Gentleman's Blend. Yeah, heirloom Kush, Gentleman's Blend.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  I like that a lot.

• 24:15Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, alright, we're getting something going here.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  You want to be able to smoke a joint and watch a movie?

• 24:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, and fall and remember it.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:21Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I've said this before on the podcast, I watched the, uh, the Joaquin Phoenix movie where he's fucking guys up with a hammer. You were never really there, is that what it's called? I saw that three times and on the third time I was like, oh, I've watched this twice. Like, I watched it once high as shit, then I watched it again and at the end I was like, with the end, it's a very memorable ending scene and I was just like, wait. And then I remember I've seen it all before and then I watched it a third time and the exact same thing happened except instead of remembering, I was like, wait, I've watched this twice.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  That's awesome.

• 24:53Stavros Halkias?

  And that's how, there was a period in my life where I was getting so high and watching movies and I remember maybe like 2% of them.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  Blacking out from weed.

• 25:00Stavros Halkias?

  Heirloom weed, yeah, heirloom Kush, Gentleman's Blend. And you're right, because at first I was thinking the branding should be sort of like Bud Light or something like that, or like light branding and kind of modern, but I think like, let's go with the heritage vibe. It's like, this is your, this is old school. I mean, we've gotten to the point where if we did it 70s branding, it would actually feel very retro, like, extra retro.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  To us, that's, oh, that just happened, but to chill, like, to Zoom, the Zoomers in this office, the 70s or the 30s.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  They're like, that's so cool.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  I think, yeah, you gotta, you gotta separate mids, like, the way we say mids, I think is different from the way that kids now say mids.

• 25:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right, mid is bad now.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Mid is, yeah, mid is bad, the overton window of weed has expanded so wide, that you just have to be like, it's just regular weed, man.

• 25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Regular weed.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Regular weed.

• 25:46Stavros Halkias?

  But I think we should offer mid too. That's the thing, it's like, we should have, it should be, it should be, it goes from, we started Shake. You know what I mean? Like Shake and just like, and Sticks and, we should sell Sticks and Stems, right? That should be like the, the, like, ground up Sticks and Stems.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  Dude, it's like byproduct from the good weed that people are making now.

• 26:04Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  They probably throw that shit out.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, so we started Sticks and Stems, then we have Shake, then we have like mid- And then we have gentleman's blend, which is, or then we have maybe regular weed. And then we have gentleman's blend was just like elevated, maybe a lit, a very fine sprinkling of keef. Not, dude, they cover it now.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:23Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, and they put it with like wax, like it's like none of that, dude. I think that's, we need to have different levels and we have to have different branding. Regular weed is just kinda like every man, that is your Bud Light. And then, you know, we have like gentleman's blend can be like, now we're mixing it, but like High Life. Like we, the champagne of weed.

• 26:42Speaker 03

  Ooh, I like that too.

• 26:43Stavros Halkias?

  We need to come up with champagne of weed.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  Black label?

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  We need that, yeah.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, you basically market it just like you'd market whiskey.

• 26:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly right, exactly right. No, we, we're onto something here for sure.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Let's do it. We can make a fuckload of money.

• 26:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd be great spokespeople to go in on a weed. We're exactly, the two kinds of guys that want this, you look exact, the guys that need this look exactly like us, dude. Alright dude, I love it. We're gonna get, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna make a shit ton of money with regular weed. Regular weed gentleman's blend.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  When you look at me and Stavi, you think gentleman.

• 27:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we do need somebody to, we, we'll need a celebrity to come in for gentleman's blend, but we can get started with, with Sticks and Stems and Shake and all that stuff. Yeah, do you wanna smoke weed and not forget where you are? Do you wanna smoke weed, like literally yesterday, I was so high, I got up fully, I had a cup of water in my lap. And I just got up and it spilled all over the fucking floor.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Dude, I got, I got so high last week cause I was dealing with a kidney stone, which sucks, so I, I took the edible. Have you had those?

• 27:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, somehow I haven't. He has, which he had, I was, we were roommates when he had, well, he had a kidney stone. And I lived in our living room at the time and all I hear is Eldis, wake up, and I, first of all, I just hear

• 28:03Stavros Halkias?

  Like he's just low grade moaning like a fucking ghost.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  It somehow makes you feel a little bit better.

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  To just make those noises.

• 28:10Stavros Halkias?

  He was just going

• 28:13Stavros Halkias?

  And then I hear him get up, moaning the whole time, get, I hear him, get the bong. I hear him rip the bong and then go back and just, the morning didn't stop by the way. He went, it got fucking crazier.

• 28:27Speaker 04

  I was in agonizing pain all night and I was like dribbling bloody piss like every two minutes for like six hours and then I was like fuck, I need to do something. I thought weed would help. I just ended up getting like really high, no sleep, it felt even worse.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  Did you know what it was? Did you know what was happening at the time?

• 28:45Speaker 04

  It was like passing from my kidney to...

• 28:48Speaker 03

  But like were you, did you know the pain is a kidney stone?

• 28:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you didn't, did you?

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Uh...

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Cause that's the worst part, I think.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  I don't think I knew.

• 28:56Stavros Halkias?

  You didn't, you didn't, cause you went to the doctor.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  I went to the ER.

• 28:59Stavros Halkias?

  I was literally scared. I was like, what the fuck?

• 29:01Speaker 03

  You feel like you're dying.

• 29:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  It's like very, very bad. It's weird pain too.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  It was, it was like agonizing. It was the worst pain I've felt. They say it's worse than like childbirth.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  That's what the doctor said.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  She said she'd given birth to three kids and this is worse. And I was like, I'm gonna tell that to every woman I meet.

• 29:16Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's awesome. I gotta get one now. Just to be able to fucking wag it in every dumb bitch's face. Sweetie, sweetie, I gotta diet high in nitrates, okay? Ah, you've had kids, I've had eight kidney stones. How do you get them? It is like, isn't it like protein or what?

• 29:33Speaker 03

  There's a lot of different causes for it. I actually, I saved the kidney stone.

• 29:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  So they're gonna analyze it and see what it's made out of, but they think it's probably made from sodium and I eat a lot of salt.

• 29:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  And I was trying to think like, this is weird, like I eat a lot of sodium, but I always eat a lot of sodium, why am I getting stones right now? And then just like 30 minutes ago, Madeline on macrodosing, she just said, "You think you have anything to do with your gumbo week?"

• 29:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh right!

• 29:57Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh shit, how, that's how bad my diet is.

• 30:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, then a week...

• 30:01Speaker 03

  That a week of eating nothing but gumbo, I had like 15 or 16 gumbo's in a row.

• 30:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  That didn't even register with me.

• 30:08Stavros Halkias?

  What was it, the national championship, Super Bowl?

• 30:09Speaker 03

  A Super Bowl week.

• 30:10Stavros Halkias?

  Super Bowl was in New Orleans.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  In New Orleans, yeah, so I only ate gumbo and I was like, "That might have something to do with the high intake of sodium."

• 30:16Stavros Halkias?

  How, when, how soon after gumbo week did it happen?

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Uh, so this was, I think I got it a week and a half ago.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  So like a month, a couple of months, but I don't know how long these little fuckers stay.

• 30:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  So I'm down in my, in my basement, I go into the E... They did like an ultrasound. They didn't ultrasound like on my balls. They put the wand on my, because they thought my testicle was like twisted around itself. They're like, we might have to remove it.

• 30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Your balls trying to fucking hang itself?

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:42Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, they might, they were, they would have had to remove your nut?

• 30:44Speaker 03

  Well, they thought that it was like the, the twisted, the twisted nut. And if you have that, you have to get it operated on like immediately or else you have to take it out.

• 30:53Stavros Halkias?

  And then would you have gotten another, a fake ball in the pouch? Or would you have rocked a single?

• 30:57Speaker 03

  I think I would rock solo. I would go solo ball. Cause like, I, I always talk about, uh, people are, cause I've had that question before. They're like, would you have it removed? And there's an ancient art, you're probably familiar with it, Stavi. The Japanese art of flower arrangement.

• 31:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. I don't know about it.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  It says that, uh, like one rose looks beautiful in a vase. Two roses look terrible.

• 31:18Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Three roses look great. Four roses look terrible in a vase. So I feel like my, my ball sack might look better.

• 31:26Stavros Halkias?

  But that's one dick and one nut. That makes two.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  That is true.

• 31:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you, you know.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Now it's like, yeah, now it's like the big three down there. It's like, this is KG. Yeah. So I don't know. I didn't think about that. That's an excellent point.

• 31:39Stavros Halkias?

  That would be my worry. Cause it's like, you got one little ass, for me, I have a little ass dick and then I would assume, cause the sack is still the same size and you have one nut weighing it down. You just have a longer, more angular, you kind of have basically what looks like your dick. It would look like my dick. Cause my dick is little as fuck. It looks like a little fucking, you know, little thing on top of your shit. And then you just have lower, foreskin, foreskin in a nut sack look kind of similar. For me, it would look, the two things would be too similar without two nuts.

• 32:06Speaker 03

  It might, so one of the nuts, I think the remaining nut would stay in its home. It's like, I've lived here too long. I'm not moving out. And then, then the dick would kind of migrate into the place of the old nut.

• 32:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you think your dick would hide in your nuts?

• 32:20Speaker 03

  Your dick would just be like at the side, like hanging down kind of sideways.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  You think they would be parallel to each other?

• 32:25Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think, I think you'd just be like, my dick is on my right and my balls.

• 32:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't have that much hang time.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  On my left.

• 32:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  So, so I'm down, I'm down in the basement. They gave me like one day worth of painkillers.

• 32:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, ridiculous.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  At the, at the doctor. And so I, I had to obviously self-medicate. On some gummies.

• 32:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  And so I took a gummy and I was trying to piss this thing out. So I'm chugging waters. I probably filled this thing up like five times. I'm chugging these waters, going to the bathroom every like 15 minutes. And then I got to the point where I get a little bit paranoid because I'm too high. And then I'm like, did I just give myself water poisoning? Like, am I gonna die now because I drink so much water?

• 33:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  And so then I start panicking and I'm like, that's like an electrolyte imbalance. There's not enough sodium. I'm gonna go upstairs. I'm gonna eat a, I have to eat some salt. So I went upstairs.

• 33:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  A full bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. And that was, that was also my medicine. I was like, I gotta do this for my health.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  For my health. So I know Elders was talking about how he was like, he, you know, you saw some video where it was like, they say you should put a little salt in your water for better hydration. And it's like, in no world do we not get enough sodium. There is no world where our diet needs a little salt in the water. I think we fucking crush it. With all the canned fish you have alone.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  You think we're hydrated enough?

• 33:38Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I don't think we are, but I don't think not enough salt is the problem. It's awesome that you're like, yeah, that's what's stopping my body from absorbing all the fucking water.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Is meant for like Michael Phelps to drink?

• 33:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's, yeah, exactly.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  And I need that too.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's guys who like, it's guys who measure the macros to like the gram. You know, it's not us, bro.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I pissed that fucker out.

• 33:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, guys who, for guys who like, don't take Gatorade because they're like, it has too much sugar.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:03Stavros Halkias?

  We're all, we also drink Gatorade, Elders. Like, we have so much Gatorade on the bus. Anyway, um, yeah, we've been, we've been doing an okay job, staying fucking, you know.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  25,000 steps.

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  20,000, dude. Yeah, every day. I'm on a 20,000 step streak. Today's the first day. It's, uh, it's at risk because I got here. I've been, I've been actually podcasting all fucking day, but I'll get it, I'll get it afterwards.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  It burns calories too.

• 34:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the mind is working. The mind is working so hard.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Muscle of all. We do have a treadmill downstairs if you want to hop on that, yeah.

• 34:34Stavros Halkias?

  I'm actually might hop on for a little bit. Actually, it depends on what the weather's like. I might just go, Chicago's a fucking beautiful town. But I do love thinking of, yeah, it's funny to think of you as like in your little, in your Austin, I'm a fucking artist. Phase. And it was. Was it those, it was like your friends from middle school? You guys all had that fucking, yeah, like a house in Austin?

• 34:54Speaker 03

  We had, yeah, we had a little compound.

• 34:55Stavros Halkias?

  Did you have a job? Like, what was your day job back then?

• 34:57Speaker 03

  So, my first job was, I was an adoption counselor for homeless dogs.

• 35:02Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:03Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, holy shit.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  I should've just stopped him.

• 35:05Stavros Halkias?

  What a good guy, oh, for dogs.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was a, I was a used dog salesman.

• 35:08Stavros Halkias?

  Used dog salesman?

• 35:10Speaker 03

  I would set up my little pens outside of like PetSmart. And then I would try to get there early in the morning to the shelter.

• 35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you would like, you would, you would show up bef, at where they do puppy mills and be like, "Don't go get them from here, get them from here."

• 35:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, really shame them.

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's good, that's smart.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  So, I, I would go to the shelter early in the morning.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Girl Scout, like, like, Girl Scout, girls setting up outside of a grocery store. It's like, "Oh, you're gonna go buy Chips Ahoy?"

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:33Stavros Halkias?

  "How about from us, you fucking piece of shit?"

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, "Oh, you wanna go get a, a yellow lab that's eight weeks old and adorable inside? That will be very well behaved."

• 35:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  "How about this nine-year-old cat of Hula that's tried to bite me six times today?" This dog's way better.

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  So, I, I would get to the shelter super early in the morning because you could try to get the better dogs that would like bring more people over.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow. And so. You would get in line waiting like it's a new iPhone?

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, "Let me get one, let me get a dog that doesn't shit itself."

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we get like all these puppies and stuff, set them up there. I got paid like five twenty-five an hour for that, I think. And then I got accused of stealing at one point from the owner.

• 36:08Stavros Halkias?

  Stealing what?

• 36:09Speaker 03

  The donations.

• 36:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the donations, yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Where all these dogs are, I have no idea. I'm wearing a coat, man.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  Now, that's good. Yeah. One Hundred One Dalmatians rebooted for like a fucking early twenties stoner dirtbag? That's pretty funny.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, at one point, this guy was like, "Where's your, uh, where's the bag of donations, Eric?" And I was like, "Dude, I don't know, I put it in the safe at the end of my shift. It had like forty bucks in there."

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  "I'm sorry," he's like, "Well, the, the money's not in there." I was like, "Well, then somebody else that works for you is..."

• 36:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  "Like some lowlife is stealing the money out of your safe before you check it." And then at one point, um, well, I, I enjoyed the job because it was fun hanging out with the dogs.

• 36:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  But, uh, then one day, the guy that ran the place just disappeared in the middle of the night. He like moved to Mexico overnight. So we all go to the shelter in the morning and nobody's working there. And there's just probably a hundred dogs.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  Are you serious?

• 37:04Speaker 03

  What the fuck do we do with all these dogs now?

• 37:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god dude, he just left it, left the dogs there?

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's like, I'm going to Mexico. He literally said like, I'm, I gotta get away from all these dogs. And the location, I think that's where Elon built the Tesla place.

• 37:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  I think it might be on that same land.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  So two great entrepreneurs, both fucking did their business on that plot of land.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's, I got bad news. There's gonna be a lot of Tesla people coming down with Parvo. In the next couple of years, that was a dirty spot. Yeah, so I worked at that place for a little bit. Austin's a fun place to be in your twenties.

• 37:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  It really is.

• 37:38Stavros Halkias?

  Especially back then. Now the tech bros have ruined it a little bit. It's not as fun, but I like, the shelter's fascinating me. I was actually thinking, this is, this is like me. I just wrote this down in my notes yesterday about like, I'm always trying to like, I try doing you joke every time. Is, let me break your brain to somebody who worked at a shelter. Like, it is crazy how good Americans treat dogs here. Like, and so I was thinking like, you're never gonna, like, I definitely have a very foreigners. Some of my fans hate how much I'm like, dogs shouldn't be on, and you probably hate it too. I know you have beautiful, you know, you love your dogs and you and Big Cat are big dog guys, but. I'm a, I'm a like, dog in the bed? What am I, a fucker? You know what I mean?

• 38:19Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, put him outside, feed him pork bones, like eat finished ribs and just throw the bones at the dog. That's what they should eat. And we're never gonna, and maybe I'm a little too extreme, whatever, but I think the only way we're gonna, this is an opportunity, maybe we solve homelessness where it's like, if you want to design a dog. You also have to adopt a homeless guy. And he doesn't have to live with you, obviously, but you have to give him like, whatever you spend on your dog. You have to just give the homeless guy also. You know what I mean? Like matching. And it's like, that way, you know what? You want to have a dumb dog with a fucking north face? Great. Now a homeless guy gets a fucking north face. You know what I'm saying?

• 38:54Speaker 03

  I think that, yeah.

• 38:55Stavros Halkias?

  The farmer's dog, you're, I think that's humans, it's human grade food.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I could eat it.

• 39:00Stavros Halkias?

  You know, so give the guy a couple little, a couple packs. Farmer's dog.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  It is wild in in America. I actually think that if like some dude walked into like an adoption shelter with an AR-15 and shot up all the dogs.

• 39:15Stavros Halkias?

  It would make more headlines.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  I think it would make a bigger dent.

• 39:17Stavros Halkias?

  It would make more headlines than if they shot a literal orphanage.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right. We've already killed kids. We don't give a fuck.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's like pictures of like puppies and blood on the ground. People are like, oh my god.

• 39:28Stavros Halkias?

  It would do so much bigger numbers.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Where are we as a society where this is okay?

• 39:32Stavros Halkias?

  God, you're so right. That sucks, dude. Yeah. Damn, I might have to steal that for this bit, for the bit we're workshopping here.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Steal it. This is all this is all your IP on this pod, right?

• 39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. Well, that's the thing. What you signed, what you signed earlier, they email you.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  The email that I pretended to read.

• 39:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The text you answered, that actually makes it anything you said is legally binding mine. And everything you say for the next two hours. So anything that happens on PMT after this.

• 39:55Speaker 03

  It's yours.

• 39:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's mine as well.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm gonna say some really stupid shit.

• 39:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so I don't know. I've been I've been kicking around that idea. It's like, get a, if you get a fucking golden doodle, you need to fucking like help a fucking Vietnam vet. You know what I mean?

• 40:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:09Stavros Halkias?

  Get some canned tuna or whatever the fuck.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  I mean, it would help if the Vietnam vets, if like maybe, you know, look a little bit cuter. Like snuggle with me. Have you ever been cuddled by a Vietnam vet? Like if a guy.

• 40:21Stavros Halkias?

  I can't say I have.

• 40:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, if a guy like, you know, walking down the street, down and out, long hair, scraggly beard, if he just walked up to you and just like rested his chin on your shoulder.

• 40:30Stavros Halkias?

  Get him.

• 40:31Speaker 03

  You would be like this.

• 40:31Stavros Halkias?

  Cuddly grandpa.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  He's so adorable.

• 40:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think that's definitely a.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  I can't say no to you.

• 40:36Stavros Halkias?

  Come here, buddy.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Cause they don't eat tricks?

• 40:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, just screaming, just having flashbacks. Why don't we do, I know you gotta get out of here, but so we're, but let's do, let's do at least one question and then we'll finish out.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  I have some questions too, so I.

• 40:52Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, please. Yeah, yeah.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  I knew you were doing a pod with Big Cat and Nick.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  And I was like, I don't know what Stavi's gonna be ready for doing all these pods. This is like a marathon for you.

• 41:01Stavros Halkias?

  No, this is nothing, dude. Well, we don't respect podcasting here at Stavi's World. Well, you guys actually have, you guys plan shit out. You have, you interview actual like people in in the field that's, that are interesting.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  We don't really.

• 41:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I got you, bro. I fucking peeked my head out of the office, I was like, who's around? Oh, PFT, you got an hour for my 90 minute show? Fuck it, we'll figure it out. Fuck, fuck these animals. That's kind of our viewpoint, but I'm glad, I love that you brought, that you have stuff ready to go.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  I didn't really bring anything on my own. I asked other people to do my work for me.

• 41:33Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, great, great.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  So I just, I tweeted out, go on Stavi's podcast a little. I want to bring my own questions to his show. Anything you want to know about Stavi?

• 41:41Stavros Halkias?

  Love this, love this.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  Okay, so this is my first time looking at this. Does he make a mean agglamono?

• 41:46Stavros Halkias?

  Agglamono? I don't, my mother does. It's a lemon drop soup.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  It's my favorite soup.

• 41:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. It's an egg lemon soup that Greek people do when you're feeling sick. I don't know how to make it. I'll be honest, when I was a little kid, the egg aspect of a soup freaked me the fuck out.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:03Stavros Halkias?

  It didn't, I was a, I was a packaged ramen guy when I was sick. So I've come around to it as an adult, but I haven't got to the point where I make my own yet.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  It's so good.

• 42:13Stavros Halkias?

  It is a great soup.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  And it's egg soup, but it doesn't have, it shouldn't have like the strands of egg. It's like whisked together.

• 42:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, well now I like that stuff. Like I like, there's certain Chinese soups that have the like, you know, little egg in there, whatever. But yes, it's creamy.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:25Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but no, unfortunately to that person, I do not make a mean agglamono.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Okay, uh, this person want, there's a lot of questions about your weight here.

• 42:33Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Watch Stavi Gets Ripped, season three, coming out soon.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Ask him about the Thousand Island stare debacle.

• 42:40Stavros Halkias?

  There's no debacle, I just, some might claim that I said Thousand Island stare when I meant, I don't even even know. Thousand, that's not, doesn't prove, that's not good on my, on my behalf.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  You still can't remember the actual phrase?

• 42:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, the phrase, 10, whatever it was, eight years later. Yeah, Thousand Yard Stare is what I definitely said. I don't even know, I don't even like Thousand Island dressing.

• 43:07Speaker 03

  There's a lot of questions about if you can see your dick.

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  I can, thank you very much, it's gotten a little easier. It's gotten much easier.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Oh, here's a good one. What's the best way to keep the body fresh with summer being right around the corner? How do you, how do you freshen up?

• 43:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I'd love to say that we have now gotten fat enough as a country where now we have not just deodorant sticks, but we have like thigh, thigh chafe sticks. Like Golden, Gold Bond makes that. So that, that does make me feel fresh because you, you eliminate kind of like that fat boy swamp nuts kind of situation. It's not powder, which feels weird. I feel like a baby when I powder, but this like you, you glide on your thighs, you're feeling fresh. That's good. I mean, there's no secret here, right? You shower, you wear deodorant, you change your clothes, you shower a little more than you think you have to, and you change underwear and socks, even if you don't shower. These are keys to be a fat person that does not smell bad.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  Are you a towel guy? Like bring your own towel over your shoulder?

• 44:03Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not an over the shoulder towel guy.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  That is actually the best look, I think.

• 44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  That guy is cool.

• 44:07Stavros Halkias?

  That is the type of guy. Lots of theaters have asked me if I need a stage towel. And it does kind of, you know, hurt my feelings because they think I'm a constant dabber. I'm not on that tip, but uh, no, that's, that's it, man. I mean, when you're also like gum helps, just general freshness, general positive smells. Gum, just like minty. You want to be like fresh in general overall.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Cover all your holes, all your holes should be smelling good.

• 44:32Stavros Halkias?

  Freshen your holes up as much as possible. That's really wipes, be a wet wipes guy. You're fat as shit. Who are you kidding? Shower more than you think you need to, change your socks and underwear, all that kind of stuff.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Are you on a, are you on that whole body deodorant shit? Cause I've seen, there's so many of those commercials now.

• 44:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, you know what? I don't know. Now you're, this is good because you're reminding me of a bit I keep forgetting to do. I think for sure the reason those are out is because they're trying to get us ready for not having water. I think, I think because, because like when have we ever talked about full body deodorant ever in the history of mankind? But now I have a really like my, my like, like I think they're trying to get us to Mad Max, where I think companies are going to start charging for water. We're not going to have access to the amount of water we think we are. And they're getting us ready for the idea of cleanliness, not necessarily needing water. So I hate full body deodorant. I think it's a sign of like, it's a sign of a cataclysmic future to come.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  That's next level thinking.

• 45:26Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  It is.

• 45:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  That's when, when that Soylent shit came out, you remember the Soylent drink?

• 45:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, of course.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  I was like, they're trying to get us ready for not having food.

• 45:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  It's just like you drink your entire meal.

• 45:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that's, that shows you again, tech bros have no idea how ideas are, how human beings. Soylent. They named it after Soylent Green, which the dystopian thing, the famous, and we're not spoiling anything. It was a Simpsons joke too. Soylent Green is people. Like it's the dystopia of like they're grinding up people and feeding it to you and they're calling it this wonder. And it's like, you name your product Soylent?

• 45:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:59Stavros Halkias?

  You're fucking idiots. And of course it's not going to take off. And there's been like competitors and shit like that.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Like all the AI companies that are just, they're building Skynet.

• 46:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  They saw Terminator and they're like, dude, that's great technology.

• 46:09Stavros Halkias?

  They have no, they have no fucking, do you know the word, the term robot is from a short Russian science fiction? Like, they didn't even have a term for it. They stole it from an artist. Like, these guys have no creativity whatsoever. I mean, even that fu, the shitty Tesla cars, the new, the Cybertruck, it's just some, like, it looks like Robocop. Like, there's no imagin, these people have no fucking imagination whatsoever.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  You're forgetting how epic the Cybertruck is.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  Somebody lived in Austin in his twenties. You can't shake it. You can't shake that kind of thinking.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Susan Snatch wants to know, is Hassan as beautiful in person as on screen?

• 46:44Stavros Halkias?

  He, it's all smoke and mirrors. He's got a fucking whole, he's got a whole team of beauticians over there. He's disgusting in real life. He doesn't pay them. They're migrant workers that he gives, that he, that he threatens. He has all their passports and if they talk back, he won't let them see their families for, you know, Ramadan. He's a real piece of shit, that guy.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  I think his camera angle keeps getting like lower and lower so that his shoulders just look bigger. And his head looks smaller.

• 47:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  He's rocking like Kyle Kuzma sweaters now.

• 47:15Stavros Halkias?

  He does, yes.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  There's just massive shirts.

• 47:17Stavros Halkias?

  And he has that little ass head.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:19Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the Alba cam overpowered again. That's right. Fuck you. Play us one, one of our questions here.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 47:24Stavros Halkias?

  Before we say goodbye to our friend PFT.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  I selected this, uh, this is like really important one, so I think.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, we'll do one and then we'll send PFT on his way.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  Hey, Stavi, uh, long time listener, long time.

• 47:37Stavros Halkias?

  Start us over, Big LD.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Me and Stavi were doing what's known as raw dog in this podcast.

• 47:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 05

  Hey, Stavi, uh, long time listener, long time fan. Um, I have a little bit of, uh, bad news. It's predicament that I'm in right now. Actually, I.

• 48:00Speaker 05

  My wife just texted me that uh she is gonna potentially consider breast reduction surgery.

• 48:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh!

• 48:11Speaker 05

  Because of her bad back.

• 48:13Stavros Halkias?

  No!

• 48:14Speaker 05

  You know, she talked about taking weight loss pills and everything to hopefully maybe help her back or work out more, help her back.

• 48:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 48:22Speaker 05

  But now it's getting to this, Stav. I don't know what I could do. I love my wife a lot and I think she's beautiful and I think she's sexy and everything, but the problem is, uh, I really, really, really like her, like her tits.

• 48:37Stavros Halkias?

  (laughing)

• 48:40Speaker 05

  You know, definitely, definitely a top two feature, so.

• 48:44Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 48:45Speaker 05

  What do I do? Is there, is there a way to work around this? I mean, is it really?

• 48:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I have some thoughts, actually, for real.

• 48:53Speaker 05

  Her tits really will hurt her back that much, you know, like, hopefully, uh, your guest can give me some good insight.

• 49:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, PFT's thought about this a lot.

• 49:02Speaker 05

  Hopefully, if your dumb Albanian can give you insight.

• 49:05Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 49:06Speaker 05

  Sorry, Elvis, but, uh, I'm just interrupting.

• 49:09Stavros Halkias?

  He's reeling, Elvis, don't take it against him.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  I usually get mad at the dumb Albanian comments, but I gotta let it slide.

• 49:14Stavros Halkias?

  This man is reeling right now, dude. He's, he's fucking, yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 05

  Walk to a waterfall on my, on my break and stare off and consider what is, uh, what is life.

• 49:28Stavros Halkias?

  This is tough.

• 49:29Speaker 05

  Thank you for this, everything you do, Stav, and, uh, hopefully, uh, you can give me some good insight.

• 49:34Stavros Halkias?

  Protecting him.

• 49:35Speaker 05

  Bye.

• 49:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, this is really, really tough, man. You hear it in his voice. He's like, like, some guys, some guys might ask this question and be joking, this is like a man who's up against it right now. He's staring at a, at a horrible future that he's trapped in.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  Looks like a beautiful part of his life is dying.

• 49:53Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  It'll never get back. I think, I think.

• 49:56Stavros Halkias?

  I have some thoughts, but go ahead, PFT.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  Well, she, obviously, you know, she's in pain.

• 50:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  You don't want your wife to be in pain. Sounds like you love her.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Why not just get her one of those old people's scooters?

• 50:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  You're like, honey, I know your back hurts from standing up all day. This is a great way to solve both of our problems. Your tits stay the same.

• 50:14Stavros Halkias?

  Your tits stay the same size.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  And you don't have to worry about, you know, coming home with your C4 or whatever the vertebrae is.

• 50:20Stavros Halkias?

  Well, is there some kind of exoskeleton we can get her? You know what I mean? Is there some kind of like, like, go, go where they're doing like, cutting edge research on people with spinal injuries and they have like a, an exoskeleton that like, allows them to walk. Surely if she has that, she can keep her tits, right? Now, if I'm gonna, if, I immediately, I immediately went into like, when he's saying this, I'm like, alright, let's brainstorm real solutions here, right? Cause I, I was like, what if this was me? And I think the tact I would take first and foremost is, you cannot be like, no! You know what I mean? You can't be like, what? Chop your tits off? No! You can't do that, right? Like, you can't have a breakdown when your wife says she might get a breast reduction?

• 51:05Stavros Halkias?

  What I would do is because this, like, okay, she seems to have other, she has other back issues, right? And she's talking about weight loss pills. She's talking about working out more. I really would say, here's how you phrase it. You don't talk, you don't just talk about her tits. You just say, the surgical options should be our last option. That's what you say. Cause, you know what I mean?

• 51:26Speaker 03

  That can be dangerous.

• 51:28Stavros Halkias?

  Cause when it comes to back, even back injuries in general, they just tell you like, like if she didn't have tits and they were like, either go on a strict workout regimen, take weight, take these GLP1s, or, or get back, like, back surgery? Everyone tells you, never get the surgery, no surgery, no back surgery helps. Now, she's not talking about back surgery. She's talking about tit surgery. But either way, you say it that way, you're like, it scares me to think of you going under the knife. I know these are routines and this happens, but like, you never know.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Mistakes happen.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  Mistakes happen. It could be, it could just be, the recovery can be tough. So what you say is, The, you say like, the surgical option should be our last option. What can we do, like, can we, you know, and now you need to be your, your wife's weight loss coach? To save her tits. This has to be your greatest job ever.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  You almost have to get involved too.

• 52:19Stavros Halkias?

  You have to wake up early, you meal prep. Yeah, we're doing this together. I don't want you going under the knife. This has nothing to do with potentially losing your fat luscious tits. This is just because, you know, this is a wake up call. We're too young to be getting surgeries to help, you know what I mean? Like, we have to change our lives and that's your only play if you're gonna save these tits.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  That's true. I think you're right. I think you gotta make this a team effort. You gotta, you gotta play the like, he obviously cares about his wife a lot, but you have to let her know that you care about her too.

• 52:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  And yeah, make that a team thing. And at the very least, just be like, if you get it, if you get him reduced, can we at least put it into your ass?

• 52:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do a BBL? Absolutely. Can we keep this titty fat and put it in your, in your, in your ass cheeks? And, and even, you know, honestly, what I just said though, I actually do believe too. Because now, if she were calling me, right? And she's just like, hey, I'm a little overweight, I have these, you know, my, I'm thinking about getting a reduction. I literally would say like, try everything before you, I, I really do believe that. I just think that is also a good argument for him. Clearly, he's not thinking cogently. He's thinking, he's, he's like, he's a man who's like, he's, he's like a wild animal just scrapping for anything. So we just have to give him, this is a good argument and I actually believe it. When it comes to, like, I really do have back issues. That's another reason I was like, I really have to lose weight.

• 53:39Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I have shoulder pain. For everything, I'm like, I'm trying to lose, I'm trying to like, and, and a doctor told me, they offered me back surgery, they offered me shoulder surgery and I just, I know those are fucking bad. And so I'm trying to do everything I can before that. And even like with weight loss, it was like, you know, back in the day, there was the like, uh, lap band surgeries, all that kinda stuff. I've started dabbling with the GLP-1 stuff, the like, Zepbound, it's something different. Um, I'm on a really low dose, but I'm just trying it out. So it's like, I'm try, I'm like, when you get medical shit involved, you wanna do it slowly. And for a whole year, I did noth, I just like, Took time off and I tried to lose weight to fix some of my health problems. And they're slowly going down. Some of them are faster than others.

• 54:23Stavros Halkias?

  Some I might not need medicine, some I will need, you know? And I really would say, if, if this is just an overall weight problem, I would try. Cause her titties are gonna get smaller if she loses weight too. They'll get smaller in a more natural way. Um, so, that's really, I think, the only play you got, pal.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Now, if it comes down to it and she's like, I, I need to have the surgery. I have to have it done. They might, they might look perkier. Like, let's try to find maybe grass is greener.

• 54:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  They might.

• 54:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess. No, if I was him, I would, if, I would go to the operating room and I wouldn't tell her this. And then as soon as she goes under the knife, I would commit seppuku, uh, in the, in the like waiting room.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  I don't wanna live in a world.

• 55:05Stavros Halkias?

  I would just get a kimono and I would cut my guts open.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Do you think that there's a possibility that if he, if he expresses how he feels about his wife's tits? In like a real genuine way to her, that she'll be like, you know, this is kinda cool that my, my husband still finds my tits so, uh, so like devastatingly sexy. That he won't, he can't bear to think of a world without them.

• 55:28Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I do think there is an, I think he can, I think he can wrap it up all in one bow where he's like, look, I, obviously I love you, but I find you so attractive. I really love your tits. I do. Obviously, your health is first and foremost, but if there's something we could do to keep these tits around, I'd really appreciate it. I do wonder, that, that goes to how, how good a relationship do they have? How truthful can you really be? Cause I do think in a perfect relationship, you could be like, like what if, like what if you had to get half of your dick chopped off?

• 56:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:02Stavros Halkias?

  Would she be thrilled? Some women would be like, whatever, I don't give a fuck. Your dick's small anyway. Some women would start crying if you told them that.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:10Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, I think men forget, or, or don't wanna feel too lecherous in a relationship, but it's like, it's your wife, you love her, you clearly are super attracted to her. That doesn't hurt to feel, she, there's a world where she just doesn't, she might think it doesn't matter. You don't, you don't see her like that anymore. And so if it helps her back. And it doesn't affect you, she might be touched to know how much your fat tits, her fat tits mean to you.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  And if she does get it, maybe you can get like a 3D laser imaging done or a mold. Get like a statue made.

• 56:39Stavros Halkias?

  She wears like a breastplate over her ti- every time you fuck her, she puts the fake tits, the fake version of her old tits on her, on her new shitty little tits.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  On her anniversary for old times sake. You wanna bust out the old puppies?

• 56:52Stavros Halkias?

  You make her put on a real doll suit of herself. That's fucking hilarious, dude. Yeah, so we got you a lot of good ideas here, buddy. You gotta run?

• 57:02Speaker 03

  I do, yeah, sorry, we got an interview.

• 57:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's all good.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  You did the Barstool Car Wash here, you did everything today.

• 57:07Stavros Halkias?

  I did, I did everything.

• 57:08Speaker 03

  But yeah, sorry to, to the Stavi people out there. I didn't want shortchanging.

• 57:11Stavros Halkias?

  Come back, whenever in New York, hit me up, dude, we'd love to have you.

• 57:14Speaker 03

  And go see Stavi live. I'll plug it for you. The show's very, very funny.

• 57:18Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, brother. We're gonna take a little break here and we're gonna finish up with some calls after PFT gets out of here. Thanks, buddy. See you next time.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  It's a me, man. Yeah, good to meet you. Take it easy.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  See you, boys.

• 57:31Stavros Halkias?

  See you, dude.

• 57:33Speaker 06

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT. Remedy a pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers

• 58:18Speaker 06

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 58:57Stavros Halkias?

  And we're back, folks. We were gonna do this episode. PFT had a very important, uh, he had to go call an NFL coach a bitch.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:05Stavros Halkias?

  That is his job. It's awesome.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  It is a pretty sweet job.

• 59:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Like, when you get down to it, that's what a lot of my job is.

• 59:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Be like, you know what, uh, Patrick Queen, you're kind of a pussy.

• 59:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  I could probably beat you up.

• 59:17Stavros Halkias?

  And he is for abandoning the Ravens. Um, but, uh, uh, and we were gonna just do this solo. And then I, I had to shit, I took a shit that was so long. It was pretty much PFT's whole interview. So we were like, ah, why don't we just wait for PFT to get done? I'm here anyway. Uh, and so we're back and let's give some of that beautiful wisdom to the people. Eldis, what else we got?

• 59:41Speaker 07

  Hey, Savvy. Big fan, long time fan. Saw you in Denver on tour.

• 59:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, thank you.

• 59:47Speaker 07

  Love the show. Um, keep doing what you're doing. So it's not a crazy story or anything. Uh, just a heartbroken girl who got ghosted and looking for a male perspective. Um, yeah, so basically I didn't even know you could be ghosted after like a month plus of consistent dating.

• 1:00:10Stavros Halkias?

  Didn't know you could.

• 1:00:12Speaker 07

  And that's what just happened to me. Uh, I had a man that had been like pursuing me. It's pretty hard for like over a month. Like dates, flowers, sleepovers.

• 1:00:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:25Speaker 07

  You know, like skiing together, we'd cook together.

• 1:00:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's a one month thing?

• 1:00:28Speaker 07

  All the time. Take walks. Um, and he turned into a ghost. So, yeah, basically like I've mourned it. I've cried. Like in our last texting interaction, I tried to open up the conversation a little bit and he hit me with a thumbs up reaction.

• 1:00:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 1:00:50Speaker 07

  Which felt like a pretty clear slap in the face.

• 1:00:53Stavros Halkias?

  Thumbs up. I bet you took skiing.

• 1:00:56Speaker 07

  But, you know, there's still a part of me that's like, what the hell just happened?

• 1:01:00Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:01:01Speaker 07

  That basically like a perfect gentleman was airdropped into my life and then I blinked and he was gone.

• 1:01:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 07

  As if it never happened.

• 1:01:10Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 1:01:10Speaker 07

  Uh, so yeah, so it's just been like emotional whiplash. Um, starting getting my, to get in my head, like, what did I do wrong? Things were going so well. He was investing a lot into me, it felt like. Yeah, so would love your thoughts, your male perspective.

• 1:01:28Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:01:28Speaker 07

  Um, did I just get a more subtle and longer form of love bombing performed on me? Or like, did he lose feelings? Was he never that serious? Okay, appreciate it. Love you guys. Bye.

• 1:01:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, did you say how old she was?

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  I don't know, but she's definitely attractive.

• 1:01:51Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  A hundred percent attractive. I'm not going off the voice on that.

• 1:01:55Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  She is amazed that she got ghosted.

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I know. She said, "I didn't know you could get ghosted after a month." Like, the con- like, a fucking meteor could come out of the sky and fucking destroy your house. Like, weird shit happens. Getting ghosted a month in is definitely within the realm of possibilities.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  This guy stopped responding to my texts. What is going on right now? I think-

• 1:02:22Stavros Halkias?

  That is a hot girl wake-up call, where it's like, you're in the real world. Maybe she moved to a better city. You know what I mean? Like, she just doesn't know. Like, tens get mistreated in New York. You know what I mean? Like, she must just like, that's a little bit of that. You know, that's definitely very-

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  And that's not her fault. She was born like that.

• 1:02:41Stavros Halkias?

  Born like that, yes.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  It's a disability.

• 1:02:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it is. It can- it really can be. Um, so a lot's going on here, right? And I think you're right. First things first is, she's hot.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:02:52Stavros Halkias?

  But this is also just a rude awakening in general, whether that's the point in her life that she's at. Where it's like, you know, maybe you're younger and the guys you're around just kind of like fawn over you. Once you're an adult, like, yeah, people pop at you. You just meet people that like, don't value you the way other people used to value you. And in terms of what happened, if we had to do a post-mortem, I wouldn't even say this is necessarily subtle love bombing. This feels like love bombing 101 to me. I also think there is something, I think, at the heart of this, this guy's a coward. We can start there, right? Because if this was somebody who, and this is something I struggled with when I, you know, when I was younger, and just being upfront-

• 1:03:34Stavros Halkias?

  About what I want, like, you know, like, you know, I'm in a place in my life now where I don't, I don't have time for a real, a serious relationship. And like, I wanna go have fun. If we have a nice connection, like, we'll keep in touch if I'm where, your city, whatever, like, maybe I will go some, maybe not skiing, but like, you know what I mean? Like, maybe I'll go have a fun weekend with somebody I don't, that I date very casually, just because that's what I like to do. But I, I try and be upfront and say, hey, look, here's where I am in my life. We can go do some cool, fun stuff. If you're not into that, I totally get it, cuz it is weird, right? It's weird to just kinda pop into someone's life and be like, let me take you on a sick vaca-, you know, like.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  Right, the first couple of months or whatever. It sounds like, yeah, he, he also might've gotten scared cuz he did all this stuff in the first month. He's like, I'm actually just exhausted.

• 1:04:18Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  That was a lot.

• 1:04:20Stavros Halkias?

  He might've bit off more than he can chew. I will also say, thinking back to when I was a piece of shit with women, like, more of a fuckboy, it's like, what could be possible, what happened to me multiple times in relationships is, you do all this stuff, and then your fear of commitment kicks in. And so this guy could very well be making a mistake here, right?

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:39Stavros Halkias?

  That is, that actually is possible. He might regret this. I have, if it's any consolation, and I know it's not, because she's just sad now and it's, this isn't gonna work. Either way, even if this guy comes back around, it's not gonna work. You're always gonna be afraid, like, is he just gonna abandon me again? Like, you, you can't build a fa-, a, a so-, solid relationship on this kinda foundation. But that is also one of the possibilities, is that he did get swept up. He was having a good time, and it got too good. He's scared of a relationship. He did move too fast, and he kinda spooked, it's like, you know, when you think you're getting along with an alley cat and you're like, and it's slowly coming at you, and then you like, try and lunge and grab it.

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  I put the tuna down too fast.

• 1:05:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes, exactly.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  He got scared of the clank.

• 1:05:25Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, that could be what's happening here.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  It could, I, I'm thinking that there's a chance this guy maybe is in another relationship.

• 1:05:32Stavros Halkias?

  Hundred, that's, exactly, that was another possibility, for sure.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Perhaps his, his significant other was out of town for like, a month and a half.

• 1:05:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  And he was saying to himself, I'm gonna sow my wild oats for a little bit.

• 1:05:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  Let's have a fling.

• 1:05:44Stavros Halkias?

  This could definitely be cheater stuff, because cheaters, it's like, they ha-, the time they have for you, they like, They re like, they take you, they're like, oh, let's go out for the weekend. Let's go to a city nobody knows me for the weekend. You know what I mean?

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  It's like, yes. The divorced dad coming in for his, you know, every other weekend. You're gonna go, you're gonna go to the amusement park.

• 1:06:04Stavros Halkias?

  You're going to Sizzler.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Gets you all the fun, okay?

• 1:06:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly, yes. That's kind of what I say dating me is like, where it's like, look, I'm not around a lot. I'm like your deadbeat dad that comes around once a month and you have an awesome weekend. And then it's like, you might never hear from me again.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  He speed away in your convertible.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  So that, I think that's actually, that's something I thought about too. And it might not even be necessarily dating some, or like, in a committed relationship, he might just be the kind of guy that had a, has a couple, has a bit of a roster going on.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:36Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, you're a high-profile draft pick that he tried out just as a starter. And he was like, this actually isn't working for us. Let's trade her for fourth-round picks.

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  His roster is so full right now. There's no piece, because you would be like a prime piece of a contender.

• 1:06:51Stavros Halkias?

  And you should be, and you deserve that, by the way. You deserve to be the, a prime piece somebody builds their life around.

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  Especially in Denver, I feel like.

• 1:06:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, she's in Denver?

• 1:06:58Speaker 03

  Denver has, a lot of dudes in Denver.

• 1:07:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there is some, there's some pretty hot girls in Denver.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  Are there?

• 1:07:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're around, for sure. So that does make sense to me, why it's Denver, you know what I mean? Maybe she moved to Denver, you know what I mean? Maybe she's like, small town, Midwest, mountains, whatever, to the big city, gets fucking treated poorly for the first time, gets womanized for the first time. But yeah, I think your instincts to mourn this and to let this go are correct. Because, look, best-case scenario, we're just dealing with an incredibly immature guy, somebody who you don't want, somebody who doesn't communicate what they want, overdid it, got too lovey-dovey for you and for him, probably. That's best-case scenario, is somebody who's a poor, a very poor communicator, and is so scared of any kind of conflict.

• 1:07:49Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe he did just want to break up, maybe he's just something, but he can't even, he's such a coward, he won't even just have that conversation with you.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, the fact that he's not replied, that he's emphasizing text messages.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  The thumbs up.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  That's a him problem.

• 1:08:02Stavros Halkias?

  The last thing you say to someone you date, like, and I don't even, by the way, I'm not that, I think ghosting is kind of a, it makes sense, in like, a casual, there's certain instances where it's like, look, we went out a little bit here and there. It's not the best thing in the world, but it's, people really overdo it. You're gonna get your, is it rea, is a half thought out apology breakup text that much better than getting ghosted?

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  Well, the thumbs up is the worst.

• 1:08:29Stavros Halkias?

  The thumbs up's crazy.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  I would rather get a thumbs down. I would, I'd rather be like, is there a chance, maybe we can just like, talk about this, at least I can know if I did something wrong, so I can try to work on myself.

• 1:08:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  I would much rather to get the thumbs down at that point than like, thumbs up and no response.

• 1:08:44Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Like, just end it.

• 1:08:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely, the thumbs down's all, I actually would have respected a thumbs down. But either way, like, the thing about ghosting is, yes, you'd like it some, you'd like to know for sure, but closure's bullshit. That's a myth, that doesn't really happen. You are gonna feel this way, like, if a guy you really didn't see it coming out of anywhere breaks up with you after a month, you're not gonna feel better than if you get ghosted. You might just be a little, you're in the dark for less time, but ultimately, you got the point either way. So, best case scenario, there's somebody you don't really want in your life. Worst case scenario, there's like, a weird manipulative guy who might be cheating, who might, whatever. And if he pops his head back in, you don't want that. You know what I mean?

• 1:09:30Stavros Halkias?

  And if, and I will say, the only advice I would give you, because again, I'm talking about dealing with versions of me where I would do this, right? And then, I got, I would get spooked, and then I would go away, and then I would like, weasel my way, and then I'd be like, fuck, I miss her. I was an idiot, and I would weasel my way back into, you know, some of these girls' lives. It was never good.

• 1:09:50Speaker 03

  Do you ever do the, the, like, I apologize for being a weasel conversation?

• 1:09:56Stavros Halkias?

  I would now, because I do think I'm different.

• 1:09:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Stavros Halkias?

  But I never did the, I mean, I guess I would do, be like, I'm, I'm just so frickin' effed up.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:04Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sorry, which is like pathetic.

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  But you're just saying that just so that you can get back in.

• 1:10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Just to get another crack.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Stavros Halkias?

  Just to get another crack at it, absolutely.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  You don't mean, you don't mean any of it.

• 1:10:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, not at the time, I didn't, or I thought I did, but who knows? So, what I'm going to tell you is like, move, you know, this is just par for the course.

• 1:10:23Stavros Halkias?

  If this guy pops his head back in, the only way you should even consider is to be like, we have to be very explicit about what we're looking for. And, and don't lead him either, just see what he wants, and if he says anything you don't like, don't, don't even accept it. I lean towards just move on completely, this is just not somebody who you wanna build, uh, you know, build a relationship with. And, yeah. Also, I but just to take again devil's advocate, he might have gone on a little too strong, but the skiing's a little crazy, but also at the end of the day, it is a month. What's consistent dating in a month mean? Three dates, you know what I mean? Like, a few dates and that weekend trip, like, that's something, but you know.

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  You bring flowers, maybe on the second date.

• 1:11:05Stavros Halkias?

  I guess the flowers and the.

• 1:11:06Speaker 03

  Is that love bombing though? Love bombing is one of the, I know it's a real thing, and I know that like, it can be, it can be a big warning sign if it's taken to.

• 1:11:13Stavros Halkias?

  If you're associate, but it, but it's also like, also, when you first sue me, I'm more fucking enthusiastic when something is new and fun. Everyone's like that. Some of this is just, this guy's sin is just not being open. It's not, if you, if you go all out, like, let's say, let's play devil's advocate and say he was courting her in a nice way. None of this sounds bad, until the ghosting. So if he, if he gave her his best shot, and then for whatever reason, he realized, I don't think this is going anywhere. If this guy says, I had a great time with you, I don't regret any of it, but I just, I'm realizing like, I'm not ready for this, I feel too strong, whatever,

• 1:11:56Stavros Halkias?

  if he just says anything to her, she's sad, but he's not a bad guy.

• 1:12:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:00Stavros Halkias?

  So I don't know that the coming on strong is necessarily the problem. The problem is just not communicating.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:06Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, good luck. We're sorry you're, you're dealing with heartbreak for the first time as a hot woman. Get, you get back out on that horse. There's somebody out there who's, who's gonna, who's gonna treat you right, who's gonna stick around for the long haul, baby girl.

• 1:12:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's some guys out there that like hot chicks still.

• 1:12:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:24Stavros Halkias?

  They're still out there.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  We all have our types.

• 1:12:26Stavros Halkias?

  We all have our little quirks. What else we got, LD?

• 1:12:31Speaker 07

  Dove Eldis, esteemed guest. Hey, Savvy, as someone who isn't married, I need your take. Basically, I'm in a six-year relationship.

• 1:12:43Stavros Halkias?

  Six years.

• 1:12:44Speaker 07

  Everything's great. No issues there. We trust each other. We communicate well. And we just, honestly, we just have a laugh. Like, it's, it's great. However.

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Trying to place this accent.

• 1:12:55Speaker 07

  My boyfriend is a few years older than me, turning 30 this year.

• 1:12:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Irish.

• 1:12:59Speaker 07

  And we've been to the first wedding of four weddings this year, and they're all either his family or friends. Like, my group are definitely not.

• 1:13:08Stavros Halkias?

  Body loss.

• 1:13:09Speaker 07

  In that stage right now. But at the wedding we were just at, there were a few comments thrown around about how he needs to wife me up, um, put a ring on it.

• 1:13:22Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:13:23Speaker 07

  Et cetera, and here lies the issue. Um, I guess my view is that I don't, I don't think I want to get married or have kids because, well, the way I kind of rationalize it to myself is I feel like I'd only be doing it because society expects me to do it.

• 1:13:43Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:13:43Speaker 07

  Not because it's genuinely what I want to do deep down. Um, however, I'm also that annoying woke person who like hates establishment and that gets a kick out of, I guess, going against the grain. So then on the flip side, I'm asking myself, do I actually not want to get married and have kids because I just enjoy being difficult and annoying? And which is maybe my ego and isn't being true to myself either. I don't know if that even makes sense, but.

• 1:14:12Stavros Halkias?

  It does.

• 1:14:13Speaker 07

  I mean, kids is pretty much flat out, no, nothing's, nothing's coming out of that. Marriage, is it something I should reconsider? I think my partner's fairly keen to do both and I love him very much, but I'm not really sure where that leaves us. Anyway, love you babes, bye.

• 1:14:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and I think I'm gonna land with Scottish or so. I don't think it's Irish.

• 1:14:36Speaker 03

  I thought it was Irish. The thirty.

• 1:14:38Stavros Halkias?

  I think, yeah.

• 1:14:39Speaker 03

  I guess it could be Scottish.

• 1:14:40Stavros Halkias?

  I think that, I don't know, well, either way, sorry if we're wrong.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  This is a very important question and let's definitely get to it, but I just wanna, I've got a take that I've been brewing on for the last like two weeks. I don't think that the new Outback Steakhouse voice guy is actually Australian.

• 1:14:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:14:57Speaker 03

  Listen to his voice.

• 1:14:58Stavros Halkias?

  I think I, I've, I've only heard the, uh, the, I've only heard the commercial in passing.

• 1:15:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:04Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, it's really over the top.

• 1:15:06Speaker 03

  It's like, no, really, it was just right. It's like, that's not, that's not, it's somebody pretending to do an Australian accent. I don't know how we can prove it or how we can look it up.

• 1:15:14Stavros Halkias?

  Look up Outback Steakhouse's voice actor, Elders.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  But Stavi, I love that your audience trusts you so much.

• 1:15:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:21Speaker 03

  That they hit you up and they're like, Stavi, should I get married? And like, I can think of no better, no better compliment that a man can have with his audience, that they trust you that implicitly.

• 1:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Well, I do, I have some thoughts here. Okay, so apparently it's this guy Toby Ricketts.

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  Where's he from?

• 1:15:37Stavros Halkias?

  Where's he from? Let's find out.

• 1:15:38Speaker 03

  He's a British?

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  British! British. Oh, wait, wait. Dialects ranging from, he specializes, but where is he from?

• 1:15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, he doesn't want, I bet you he doesn't want to say.

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's a Camilian man.

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  Just, he's not Australian, I'm telling you.

• 1:15:58Stavros Halkias?

  Um, Toby Ricketts is a multi-award winning Irish voiceover, has 25 plus years of experience. Where is he from? Where did he grow up?

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  His custom-built studio?

• 1:16:09Speaker 04

  I don't know if we're gonna find it.

• 1:16:10Speaker 03

  In the heart of New Zealand.

• 1:16:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, New Zealand, not Australia.

• 1:16:14Speaker 03

  In the heart of New Zealand.

• 1:16:15Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  I knew there was something up for him.

• 1:16:17Stavros Halkias?

  So something a little off.

• 1:16:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:18Stavros Halkias?

  Not quite, it's like Canada, but it's a little, I think you-

• 1:16:21Speaker 03

  There's a difference.

• 1:16:22Stavros Halkias?

  There is a difference, I think you're right.

• 1:16:24Speaker 03

  V G M I, as opposed to Veggie Boy.

• 1:16:27Stavros Halkias?

  Um, alright, I'm glad we got, you know, vindicated P F T.

• 1:16:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel good, I feel good. Like, that's honestly, like, that is, that's maybe the best take I've ever had to call that shot.

• 1:16:35Stavros Halkias?

  You called that, you called that.

• 1:16:37Speaker 03

  They tried to fuck us up.

• 1:16:38Stavros Halkias?

  And they did overdo, like, he's, it's very, I feel like it's a more intense, there's more bells and whistles on his voice, I think. Um, now, going back to our-

• 1:16:46Speaker 03

  It's private equity, that's what that does.

• 1:16:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, they cut it down.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  They're ruining our voice actors.

• 1:16:50Stavros Halkias?

  You get it, Australians need to be voicing our fake Australian chain, that was started in like Florida or something.

• 1:17:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so, our pal here. Now, there's a couple of things going on here. One, the same, like, I think our friend is dealing with sort of like the, kinda like militant girl version of like, we were like, kinda trolls early in our youth, like in our twenties. And we talked about it earlier in the episode, where it's like, you're kinda trying, you, you were like this char-, your whole persona was a character, you were never really yourself, and like- When old men try and stay trolls and try and be, dude, there's nothing more pathetic than an edgy forty year old man, right? Like, I'm, oh, I'm, I'm going there. You don't have anything to say, you just like getting a rise out of people. I, I think you could argue the flip side of that is like, is like a girl who like, you

• 1:17:45Stavros Halkias?

  know, in college, like, fuck the patriarchy, I'm never gonna have, I'm never getting married. And then you kind of grow up and you're like, I probably don't want kids, but I love this guy. And making a commitment to him is not the same as like, like, I think maybe our friend here might be holding on to like, her more extreme values of youth. Everybody softens in youth.

• 1:18:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:07Stavros Halkias?

  I don't believe that, I think there's a bullshit thing of like, the older you get, the more conservative you get. I don't think that's true at all. I think you're, if that's true, you're selfish. And like, you know, there's, there's that adage, but I think whatever you are, most people will become more extreme with age.

• 1:18:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:22Stavros Halkias?

  They tend to soften.

• 1:18:23Speaker 03

  You see the nuance everywhere.

• 1:18:25Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I guess a lot of people are getting weirdly radicalized by QAnon shit these days, but it's not, it's not who they were, they just become a totally different person.

• 1:18:32Speaker 03

  Right, they flip. There is a change in one way or the other, depending on how angry you are at the world at that time.

• 1:18:38Stavros Halkias?

  For sure. I, I. And I guess actually maybe that's, the world is getting so much worse that I probably have a little more extreme, like redistribution politics than I did. But I would say from a pers, something so personal, like, like, I think, like, it's easy to have certain ideas, and then you're faced with them when you grow up, and you're like, the idea of like, fuck marriage as an institution, that's easy to say when you're twenty, and you, you haven't met someone you love more than anything, you haven't met someone that you want to settle down with, and then you meet them, and you're like, like, you could do, you could have a commitment ceremony, you don't have to get married in a church.

• 1:19:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:15Stavros Halkias?

  I married elders, for Christ's sake, it wasn't a real, it wasn't a real ceremony.

• 1:19:19Speaker 03

  Did you have somebody that was ordained by like, the minister of the universe?

• 1:19:22Stavros Halkias?

  I was ordained by the Universal Life Church.

• 1:19:23Speaker 04

  He was ordained, but it was fake, cause we already like, did it at City Hall.

• 1:19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  We just kind of did it for, you know, the wow factor, the cool restaurant.

• 1:19:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  This, I don't want to say this type of girl, cause she sounds actually very well adjusted.

• 1:19:36Stavros Halkias?

  I love her. Look, she's one of our, she's one, she's a subscriber, you know what I mean? Yeah.

• 1:19:40Speaker 03

  But I, I have seen this type of person in rom-coms before.

• 1:19:44Stavros Halkias?

  This is a classic rom-com setup.

• 1:19:46Speaker 03

  Where it's like, I will never settle down with a man. No man can treat me as good enough as I will treat myself.

• 1:19:50Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:19:51Speaker 03

  And then you meet Prince Charming, you're like, I will suck his dick all day, like that sort of thing. I'm not saying that's where she's at, but I, I do.

• 1:19:58Stavros Halkias?

  No, I know what you're talking about. You're talking, it's more like workaholic has no time for a man. Cause she's married to the job. That's kind of the, the rom-com thing for sure. Like I'm a girl boss. And then he's laid back and he's, and he's annoys you, but there's just something about him, you know, like, um, yes, this is a different person. But yes, I know what you're talking about. And by the way, those rom-com characters statistically are correct. Single, like women without children, like they, they have all these like mortality statistics. It's like, and it's, and I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. Because I think you're clearly sacrificing something for the next generation, but it's like, women without kids. Like if you look at like quality of life, like mortality, like there's just so much unmarried women that have it.

• 1:20:42Stavros Halkias?

  Cause like in, in most of our families, it's like the women are fucking like, like a lot of women like sacrifice a lot for like, my friends who have kids, like the, the women, like my friends who have kids, the dudes, they're like, yeah, it's pretty fun. You know, it's a lot, you know, sleep's a little bad. And then, but your, your friends who are girls that have newborn babies, they're like, I've thought about killing myself every day, even though he's the light of my life. You know what I mean? Like the, the, what it takes out of a woman is crazy. So I get where she's coming from.

• 1:21:12Speaker 03

  The dads are like, I, I don't get to play as much golf as I'd like. The women are like, I had to go to the doctor four times last week because I had a nipple infection.

• 1:21:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, exactly. Oh, dude, when they're feeding off, you're literally.

• 1:21:24Speaker 03

  Sucking life out of.

• 1:21:25Stavros Halkias?

  They're sucking your life force.

• 1:21:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:26Stavros Halkias?

  Like you're literally, it's like crazy.

• 1:21:28Speaker 03

  I'm drinking, I'm drinking her bones right now.

• 1:21:31Stavros Halkias?

  I made my mom melt down some of her bones so I can suck them out of her tits.

• 1:21:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, this, uh, in this case, I understand, actually, I completely understand why a woman in her teens, twenties, maybe even thirties, like, they might not really be super into the prospect of marriage because they're hanging out with a bunch of 23-year-old guys.

• 1:21:52Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:21:53Speaker 03

  And do you really, nobody-

• 1:21:54Stavros Halkias?

  Is that who you want to settle down with?

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  Nobody should want to marry a 23-year-old guy.

• 1:21:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point.

• 1:22:00Speaker 03

  I was the biggest piece of shit when I was like 23.

• 1:22:02Stavros Halkias?

  Me too, are you kidding me?

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  Unmarriable.

• 1:22:04Stavros Halkias?

  Without question.

• 1:22:05Speaker 03

  Unmarriable. In fact, it would like the, the kind of girl that would want to marry me at 23, I wouldn't want to marry either.

• 1:22:11Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:22:12Speaker 03

  Like, it's, uh, it's, as you get older, you start to mature a little bit, you find nuance in things. I don't know if it's soft around the edges, but you, you develop a better understanding about why people are the way they are.

• 1:22:23Stavros Halkias?

  And who you are, by the way.

• 1:22:24Speaker 03

  And who you are, too.

• 1:22:25Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you have a, you have this fake understanding of this is the type of person I'm gonna be, and then you actually face stuff, and you might react differently than you thought you would, and you realize who you actually are, and you know, just, it's very fluid the more you, the more you age.

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, and in her case, I would say that divorce is an option.

• 1:22:41Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  If you don't have kids.

• 1:22:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:44Speaker 03

  Divorce, it's sad, it sucks.

• 1:22:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:22:46Speaker 03

  Everybody's upset for a little bit, it will affect your future relationships, uh, because you'll be thinking, you'll, you might spend time blaming yourself for things, it can't fuck with you mentally, but divorce is a viable option if you decide, I don't really want to be with this guy for the rest of my life.

• 1:23:02Stavros Halkias?

  And, and the other thing I'll say is like, yes, I agree, and if you love him and you really want that, that's fine. Now, what, now, so basically, I think we're kind of landing on, you're not, um, you're not betraying your belief system if you get married to somebody you love more than anything in the world. That's not, don't be that fucking dumb, you know?

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  All those poems I wrote in college don't mean anything to me anymore.

• 1:23:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly. So that, but, now, the, the only thing that kind of got me, my antenna up a little bit is that she's definitely doesn't want kids, and at the very end, she says, "I think my partner is keen on both."

• 1:23:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:39Stavros Halkias?

  Now, that is the actual deal breaker.

• 1:23:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Because if he, if this is the guy that you love, you have this great relationship with, and you say, "Hey, I don't really want to get married in the church, I don't want to make a big deal about it, but I love you, I want to be with you forever." And he wants that too, and then you're like, of course, like I've told you. Now that's changed, but I want to be very clear. I never want kids. And this is not something, if you don't want, if you really want them, we shouldn't get married because this is not something I'm gonna change my mind on. I don't want you pressuring me, because sometimes I think people do that too. Whether they want kids or they don't want kids, they think they can change a fundamental like opinion of their partner and they're like, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

• 1:24:23Stavros Halkias?

  And then you get there and that's the act, like, to me, I think this couple could get married no problem. I think the problem would be if he really wants kids and you really don't want kids, that's why you don't get married. Not because of some idea of wanting to be like a contrarian to your mom or whatever the fuck.

• 1:24:41Speaker 03

  Right, I, I think you would, if he really wanted kids, you would either go through a phase where one person was pressuring the other, you get into a lot of fights. And then on the outcome of that, you would have, you would carry resentment towards that person.

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Without question.

• 1:24:56Speaker 03

  And if you didn't have resentment to him, for him constantly being like, do you want kids, you want kids? He would hold resentment, like, I'm never going to have the life that I wanted.

• 1:25:05Stavros Halkias?

  That I really wanted, yeah.

• 1:25:06Speaker 03

  And he, even if you guys grow old together, it'll be like that old couple that just hate each other. No idea why they live together.

• 1:25:13Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:25:14Speaker 03

  They just go out to eat like once a week, they don't talk at the dinner table.

• 1:25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:18Speaker 03

  It's very awkward for everybody.

• 1:25:19Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:25:20Speaker 03

  So you don't want that.

• 1:25:21Stavros Halkias?

  There's a lot of places for love to disappear, that's for sure. So yeah, you're still relatively young, it sounds like, she says, he's 30, she's a couple of years younger. You just have to, again, let that shit go of what you thought. You're in a place now where this, where your life is really like, but actually talk about the stuff that matters. I think marriage is something that you can sort of, you know, cave on if you want to look at it that way, but kids, it sounds like. You know, she seems pretty dead set. So just, whatever it is, make sure you guys are on the same page. And, and it can't be sad, by the way. It sucks if you completely line up, except for kids. And that happens, you know? And some people really don't want them, and I get that. I'm a wishy washy guy. I could go either way, honestly.

• 1:26:06Speaker 03

  She's gone to what, four weddings? So you're all, that's been like, the only thing you've been thinking about for the last year.

• 1:26:12Stavros Halkias?

  Gauntlet, too.

• 1:26:13Speaker 03

  Gauntlet, so you're always thinking about weddings. Everyone around you is getting married. Like, when I moved to New York, I never, I never fucking liked the Knicks, ever. But then the Knicks started winning some games. I'm like, kinda fun being in the atmosphere of, of the Knicks winning a playoff game.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's all love, it's beautiful.

• 1:26:29Speaker 03

  Win tonight. That would be great. That's what you're going through.

• 1:26:32Stavros Halkias?

  You go to enough weddings, you're like, ooh.

• 1:26:34Speaker 03

  I can see myself.

• 1:26:34Stavros Halkias?

  I could be in one of these.

• 1:26:35Speaker 03

  Getting drunk in a suit.

• 1:26:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, with my, the people I actually like in the world. Yeah. It is, they are fun. A good wedding's fucking great. But yeah, good luck out there. Our, uh, some, we're, I guess, our guest was Scottish. Hopefully we're right.

• 1:26:51Speaker 07

  What's up, Steph? I'm, uh, 23 years old. Uh, I'm a relatively thin dude. Relatively, I'm kind of putting it lightly. I'm, I'm skin and bones, man. I'm six foot two, I'm 130 pounds.

• 1:27:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:27:07Speaker 07

  And no matter what I do, I can gain weight. But that's not even the point of this. My point is that I got a lot of, uh, larger friends. A lot of my friends are on the heavier side. And I feel like I can kind of relate to them in the way that like, they struggle with weight loss, I struggle with weight gain.

• 1:27:27Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:27:28Speaker 07

  You know? And I just, I don't know how to like, talk to them about that. Without just like, sounding like a narcissistic fucking asshole, being like, oh yeah. Man, like, I can eat whatever the fuck I want and I just never gain a weight. But like, e- even right now, I feel shitty talking to you about this, but.

• 1:27:47Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 1:27:49Speaker 07

  It is like, it's a similar struggle and I just, I want to know how I can talk to them about that. Uh, thanks, I'm Joe.

• 1:27:58Speaker 03

  Start counting your steps.

• 1:28:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting. That is really interesting because

• 1:28:05Stavros Halkias?

  he really wants connection.

• 1:28:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like, that's the thing here is that.

• 1:28:09Speaker 03

  He wants validation.

• 1:28:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he wants, I guess, yeah, he, he is struggling, right? Like, cause the thing is, girl, it's just,

• 1:28:19Stavros Halkias?

  I would, I, like, maybe, you know, how old is he? Twenty-three. So that's different.

• 1:28:23Speaker 03

  Wait a couple of years.

• 1:28:24Stavros Halkias?

  Cause if you're twen- at twenty-three, would I want to hear this from a skinny guy? Probably not.

• 1:28:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:28Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Now, now I have, again, more, I can see how their lives could be hard. I just, but even still, the fat, little fat loser in me kicks in and I'm like, come on, I'm six-two. Like, there's so, so many bitches talk about wanting like some beanpole looking, that's the type of guy that can get pussy.

• 1:28:44Speaker 03

  That is.

• 1:28:45Stavros Halkias?

  A six-two, like, I mean, a one-thirty's crazy.

• 1:28:47Speaker 03

  That's very skinny, for six-two.

• 1:28:49Stavros Halkias?

  It is very skinny, but there's goth bitches that want to fuck Slenderman.

• 1:28:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, like, I do feel like I see that. I do feel like that is an archetype, is like, big-titted goth girls with the skinniest boyfriend you've ever seen in your life.

• 1:29:00Speaker 03

  Do you want the, the heroin addict boyfriend that's not, like, you don't have to deal with all the mess of actually being on heroin? Yeah, there's a spot for you there. But if this guy waits ten years, and he's still at these dimensions, six-two, one-thirty, then I think more people will understand, like, this, there's a problem.

• 1:29:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:18Speaker 03

  Your, your metabolism is, like, too fast.

• 1:29:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:21Speaker 03

  But at this age, it is skinny, but I, I feel like that's tough to, to do a woe is me session on being too skinny.

• 1:29:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, especially when you're tall.

• 1:29:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:29Stavros Halkias?

  Like, here's what I'll say, you can connect with these guys if you don't get pussy. But if you're getting pussy, don't, do not try and commiserate with a fat twenty-three-year-old. Just from my experience, if, if I had a nerd, a tall nerd who we were both struggling to get pussy, in fact, Some of my friends, a good friend of mine was a tall nerd that couldn't get pussy. You know what I mean? Like, who was skinny. Like, that's, at that age, that's what it all boils down to. Cause there's, you know what I mean?

• 1:29:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's the only thing that matters in life at that age. And I, again, now, because my life is more full than that, I could talk to someone with the struggles. But really, like, that's your way in. If you fuck, you can't really commiserate with guys who are fat, in my, in my experience. Now, if you don't get pussy and you could talk, and like, you could be going to the gym with your fat friend and you're drinking weight gainer and you're like, don't talk to them about how, oh, I'm eating all this ice cream and nothing's happening. Don't say that shit. Just be like, you know, my body hurts, I don't have enough, like, fat lubricating my joints. Like, I can't lift, I'm weak, like.

• 1:30:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Pick the stuff that actually.

• 1:30:37Speaker 03

  Weak is a good one.

• 1:30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Weak is good, yeah.

• 1:30:39Speaker 03

  Cause the, the big boys that are going to the gym, they're probably at least able to throw some weight around.

• 1:30:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, when I, when I was eating well and not, cause now I'm trying to like, I'm, I'm on a calorie deficit so my numbers are just kinda staying stagnant. But dude, when we were shooting Tires and I was just like eating like shit, I felt strong as fuck.

• 1:30:54Speaker 03

  Did you do rewrites on that? Were you like, hey, season two, can I not be eating in every scene?

• 1:31:01Stavros Halkias?

  I love the eating, yeah, I love that. I was basically like Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven, but I think, you know what's funny? We forgot we did that.

• 1:31:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:09Stavros Halkias?

  And I think I was only eating in like, you know, I don't wanna, I don't, I don't think we kept the meme up, but I don't remember. I ate, listen, I did not eat on the show.

• 1:31:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:31:17Stavros Halkias?

  I definitely, when I was stressed, I went back, cause I think the character is the kinda guy who eats when he's stressed, you know? That deep character that Dave is, that I had to do a lot of, a lot of theatrical work to get into his mindset. It was tough.

• 1:31:31Speaker 03

  They make prop cupcakes, like they make prop cigarettes, so you can like smoke all day.

• 1:31:35Stavros Halkias?

  No, they did, they, they, they had like a spit, like, it's so funny, cause they, yeah, actually I'm remembering one scene where the whole point was I was eating something disgusting, and it was like fast food and it's like, and like anchovies and like, it was just like a weird fucked up like meal. And they were like, we got a spit bucket for you, we got everything, and I just fucking housed it all. I made them like, I, like, they wrote it and it was like sardines and like crackers. And I was like, I literally was like. I don't think this is trashy enough. I think you guys need to go to Wendy's and get me nuggets and fries. Like, I actually, like, punched up how fucked up his meal was. So I'd, and they were like, "Oh, yeah, we'll get you through this." And I always, always ended up eating more snacks. They didn't need the prop. They tried to do prop stuff, and I was like, "I'm just eating these."

• 1:32:18Stavros Halkias?

  Like, at a certain point, there, I was eating, we were doing a party scene, and I just was eating food that had just been sitting out for, like, three days. And they're like, "That popcorn hasn't been reset." And I'm like, "Fucking popcorn." You know what I mean?

• 1:32:32Speaker 03

  What, the consistency's a little off?

• 1:32:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:33Speaker 03

  I love, I love the idea of you giving notes, though, like, I think, I think the character would have Wendy's, too.

• 1:32:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I know, you're like, "Did you give notes? Stop making me eat." I was like, "No, my notes were, if we're gonna be realistic, he'd be eating Wendy's right now."

• 1:32:48Speaker 03

  I thi- I think with this caller, it also matters if your friends, if they're also tall, or if they're short and heavier. Because if you're tall and skinny, and there's a short, fat guy, you're like, "You're complaining about the two things that I want."

• 1:33:01Stavros Halkias?

  You, yes, that's absolut- if this kid is fucking, like, a- and I'm, I'm, I'm an interesting case because I legitimately didn't think I was short until, like, three years ago.

• 1:33:12Speaker 03

  How tall are you?

• 1:33:12Stavros Halkias?

  I'm 5'7".

• 1:33:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:13Stavros Halkias?

  But growing up, I was like, Eldis, like, I would just be around, all my friends were taller than me, and in my head, like, in my head, Eldis is, like, four inches taller than me. You know what I mean? Like, he's got a full foot on me. But in my head, I'm like, "He's a little taller."

• 1:33:25Speaker 03

  We're close.

• 1:33:26Stavros Halkias?

  And then my friends who were six feet, I'm like, "We're the same height." Like, I just have, like, I'm just blessed, and it didn't, I was so, like, worried about being fat, it didn't dawn on me that I was also short.

• 1:33:35Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:33:36Stavros Halkias?

  But if, yeah, you cannot be going up to 300-pound, 5'5" guys and be like, "Life is so hard for me." And, and I, and I feel bad for him because he means well, and he is having a struggle, but if you're fucking, don't, just find other skinny people, man.

• 1:33:52Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:33:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Go, go make friends with anorexic girls. You know what I mean, like?

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, your strategy of just saying I'm weak, that's a good one.

• 1:33:58Stavros Halkias?

  I'm weak is good.

• 1:33:59Speaker 03

  That's the actual- Insult to yourself that your other bigger friends might be able to.

• 1:34:05Stavros Halkias?

  It has to be self-deprecating, yeah.

• 1:34:06Speaker 03

  And I think they'll appreciate that.

• 1:34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Because yeah, what he said, his real, you can't tell them real problems that don't sound like problems.

• 1:34:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:34:13Stavros Halkias?

  Because that would drive me crazy. When I had a friend who was like, oh, I just can't put on weight. And it's like, I can't not put on weight. You know what I mean? Like, I physically can't not, like, I have such a horrible metabolism that it would, and I love eating so much that would enrage me. I would be like, I wish I could eat for you. Like, I wish I could eat for people with that kind of metabolism. I bet you I could get him to gain weight, I'll tell you that much.

• 1:34:36Speaker 03

  I think that a lot of guys that are trying to put on weight like this, they don't know what it means to eat like shit.

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  They don't. They really don't.

• 1:34:43Speaker 03

  I have a glass of whole milk with every meal. I can't put on any weight. But I mean, if this guy is trying to put on weight, that is a struggle. It's a legit struggle.

• 1:34:50Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 1:34:50Speaker 03

  That you're dealing with. And I'm sure that, looking yourself in the mirror, you see a bunch of stuff about your body that you would like very much to change.

• 1:34:56Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, yeah.

• 1:34:57Speaker 03

  And you should continue to work on that because it will eventually work for you. And if it doesn't, then there might be medical thing that you have to look into. But you're doing the right things. I would say just give it a couple of years. The metabolism is going to even out a little bit.

• 1:35:09Stavros Halkias?

  And yeah, and exactly. It'll even out. And it's like, yeah, work on it the way fat people try and work on losing weight. Like, you have to stay disciplined. You know what I mean? You have to hit a calorie goal, but it's in the other way. And if you're not somebody who eats that much, he probably has to eat like, you know, he's 6'2", he probably has to eat like 3,000 calories, 4,000.

• 1:35:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:31Stavros Halkias?

  4,000. Like, he has to gain weight. He has to eat a lot, like, like stuff that does, that is hard to put down. So like, you know, get weight gainer, get protein shakes, whatever, all that kind of shit. And stick with it the way, you know, other people stick to their diet. And do your best, like I said, if you couch it in the right ways and you're not getting pussy, you can make friends with fat people if you share the struggle. Go to gym, fat guys, because, exactly, PFT, you're right, they're stronger than you. They might feel superior to you in the gym, even though you're superior to them outside. You need to balance out the relationship if you want camaraderie of this sort. And, you know, if not, you know, I don't know what to tell you, little buddy. It's going to take some time. But if you're getting pussy, you're fine.

• 1:36:14Speaker 03

  I'm like you, Stavie. I didn't know that I was that short until I started part of my take.

• 1:36:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:21Speaker 03

  And then I'm only hanging out with professional athletes on the show.

• 1:36:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, all the pictures are hilarious.

• 1:36:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, so here's, just sit next to Blake Griffin for a little bit. And then very quickly you realize, yeah, I'm a freak. I look like a freak now.

• 1:36:33Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, especially all those, and big cats, you know, six.

• 1:36:36Speaker 03

  Everybody that works here is like six, two, six, three. It's crazy.

• 1:36:39Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, that's a tough one, man. But yeah, good luck to our, to our fucking Jack Skellington ass, Kevin Durant ass motherfucker that called in here. Uh, you know, we're rooting for you and it is a struggle.

• 1:36:48Speaker 03

  That's the only guy in America that is in the healthy range on the BMI chart. That chart is so fucked up.

• 1:36:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right about that. Oh, you have something quick for us to go out on, Elvis?

• 1:37:03Speaker 06

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur.

• 1:37:44Speaker 06

  Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:38:02Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. Start your morning with the $6.00 McRiddles Extra Value Meal. Featuring your choice of a sausage, egg, and cheese McRiddles, or bacon, egg, and cheese McRiddles, plus crispy hash browns and a small premium roast coffee. Sweet, savory, crispy, and caffeinated, it's everything your morning ordered, all for just $6. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing at participating McDonald's.

• 1:38:27Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, here we go.

• 1:38:30Speaker 04

  Howdy, baby. So I'm listening to the...

• 1:38:34Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, I keep forgetting.

• 1:38:37Speaker 04

  Howdy, baby. So I'm listening to the McDay's Maniacs episode, episode two. And, uh, I, I just got to the question where the girl asked if...

• 1:38:48Stavros Halkias?

  She should try to hook up with her mailman. And he, I gotta say, as the mailman, just, yeah, no, hook up with him. Do it a hundred percent. I hope that that's me. But, yeah, hook up with your mailman. Does it matter what the situation is? Just hook up with your mailman. Good idea.

• 1:39:06Stavros Halkias?

  Good idea. Good idea. He's smart, dude.

• 1:39:08Speaker 03

  Did they do it like through the slot?

• 1:39:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, put your dick through the slot, like an old fashioned glory hole.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, this guy's hilarious. This guy's just dreaming this will happen to him. I think that is fun. I mean, mailman, the milkman, that's an old fashioned thing.

• 1:39:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:26Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking a guy that can't really get back to you, like, they might, mailman must be fucked with like phones and modern society. In a cashless world without the internet, traveling guys used to get so much pussy.

• 1:39:39Speaker 03

  I'm fucking the seamless guy now.

• 1:39:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A guy who, who's every instant is tracked. Like, you can't cheat the way you used to. And horny housewives were probably like, half of them are probably suicidal. Half of them are like, you know, their doctor jerks them off and gives them Klonopin because they can't, they can't like-

• 1:39:57Speaker 03

  They're hysterical.

• 1:39:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they're hysterical, like, I bet you-

• 1:40:00Speaker 03

  I know it'll fix you. I'm gonna make you come real quick.

• 1:40:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, so ma- I bet you so many just horny dissatisfied housewives just fucked a mailman or a milkman back in the day. And we need to get a little bit more of that going on. So, yeah, like this guy said, fuck the mailman. I remember that episode, McDade's Maniacs, volume two. And I think we told her she could fuck the mailman, right? She was confused.

• 1:40:23Speaker 04

  She, she was asking about asking him out. She didn't say fuck him.

• 1:40:26Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:40:27Speaker 03

  Is the mailman, is he, like, is she getting good vibes from him? They're hitting it off?

• 1:40:30Speaker 04

  She said that he got a good vibe. They like, he introduced himself to her one day or something and, yeah.

• 1:40:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's how funny women are. It's like, do you think I could fu- it's like, yes, of course.

• 1:40:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't finish the sentence.

• 1:40:41Stavros Halkias?

  Just ask him. That's the thing, like, like I think JP said on that episode, he was like, I've never spoken to my mailman once.

• 1:40:47Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:40:47Stavros Halkias?

  Like, what man has, has a mailman ever introduced himself to a man? I don't think so.

• 1:40:53Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:40:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so.

• 1:40:54Speaker 03

  I think, I think maybe back in the day, I think that-

• 1:40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:40:56Speaker 03

  Like, it was the, it, part of the community.

• 1:40:58Stavros Halkias?

  But I mean, have you guys-

• 1:40:59Speaker 03

  You knew the officer walking down the street, whistling, swirling the baton?

• 1:41:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:41:02Speaker 03

  Oh, that's Officer O'Shea.

• 1:41:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes. That's Jimmy the Mailman, whatever. But yeah. Have you, do you know the first name of a single one of your mailmen?

• 1:41:10Speaker 03

  I'm trying to think.

• 1:41:11Stavros Halkias?

  Man, like, from childhood, I do, because, yeah, we got the tail end of that community thing.

• 1:41:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:15Stavros Halkias?

  But, like, in New York, they all, they, they change anyway, like, I never. So the fact that this guy went up and talked to you means he's trying to smash.

• 1:41:22Speaker 03

  I think he's saying what's up, yeah.

• 1:41:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. So, good. Fuck this, and, you know, fuck this guy if he's your mailman, folks. And, uh, thank you for listening. Thanks for calling in. PFT, thanks for coming, brother. This was so fun.

• 1:41:34Speaker 03

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:41:35Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Listen to Pardon My Take. Anything else you want to plug?

• 1:41:38Speaker 03

  Uh, Pardon My Take, macrodosing.

• 1:41:40Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 1:41:40Speaker 03

  Yep. Fun times.

• 1:41:42Stavros Halkias?

  Fun times. Eventually, we're gonna get that, we're gonna get that Breaking Bad feature film.

• 1:41:47Speaker 03

  That's coming out, but more importantly, uh, regular weed.

• 1:41:50Stavros Halkias?

  Regular, oh, that's right. We're bringing back regular weed, dude.

• 1:41:53Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get on the phone with some, some cannabis people.

• 1:41:55Stavros Halkias?

  Talk to some people. Let's make this happen.

• 1:41:56Speaker 03

  Yes, because we-

• 1:41:57Stavros Halkias?

  I would love a lot of money. We need to do the fucking, the predator handshake for this.

• 1:42:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:02Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? It's like, we are the two archetypes of the guy who wants regular weed.

• 1:42:07Speaker 03

  I just want to smoke and not get debilitating anxiety in public.

• 1:42:11Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:42:12Speaker 03

  I want to have, be able to fake my way through a conversation with a cashier.

• 1:42:15Stavros Halkias?

  I want to smoke a whole joint with a girl, and who I know, we have a good relationship, and not in the middle of it, gets so scared, I'm like, I feel like I'm in middle school again.

• 1:42:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:24Stavros Halkias?

  And like, I can't, like, go in for a kiss.

• 1:42:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:27Stavros Halkias?

  That, dude, that's happened to me where I'm like, I've invited a girl over to express, like, in the text, like, let's hook up. You know what I mean? Like, there is no confusion, and then I get high, and I'm like, ah, I hope she likes me. You know what I mean? Like, I just want weed that I can get my dick sucked without worrying, you know? Regular weed, folks. That's what we're bringing to the table.

• 1:42:46Speaker 03

  I want to be able to have the courage to have the best thing possible happen to me that's already been agreed upon happening.

• 1:42:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:54Speaker 03

  And not, and not freak myself out so much that I'm like, I'm just gonna go jack off later.

• 1:42:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, uh, nice to see you, ma'am, and just fucking go away scared.

• 1:43:05Stavros Halkias?

  All right, folks, that's gonna do it for us. Uh, we will talk to you next week. Bye-bye.

• 1:43:25Speaker 06

  This podcast is supported by Nurtec ODT. Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtec. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtec can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtec is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtec ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain,

• 1:44:09Speaker 06

  or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTEC, or visit Nurtec.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 1:44:24Speaker 00

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. Start your morning with the $6.00 McRiddle's Extra Value Meal, featuring your choice of a sausage, egg, and cheese McRiddle's or bacon, egg, and cheese McRiddle's, plus crispy hash browns and a small premium roast coffee. Sweet, savory, crispy, and caffeinated, it's everything your morning ordered, all for just $6.00. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing at participating McDonald's.