#188 - Jimmy Tatro

Jimmy Tatro joins the pod to discuss his new show “The Hawk” (out on Netflix on July 16th), the Stavvy’s World hotline brought to you by Visible, how he’s been on every single streaming platform, the precious billboard real estate in Roku City, a beautiful Obese Aquatics league, when a coach put him in the game at the absolute worst time, and much more. Jimmy and Stav help callers including a woman who’s wondering if her husband and her should sacrifice their incredible work-life balance to progress in their careers, and a 21-year-old who wants to know if he has a chance at pulling the hottest MILF in town. Watch "The Hawk" on Netflix on July 16th: https://www.netflix.com/title/81695311 Follow Jimmy Tatro on social media: https://www.youtube.com/@LifeAccordingToJimmy https://www.instagram.com/jimmy/ https://x.com/JimmyTatro Thank you to our sponsor! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 1:14Stavros Halkias?

  Folks, we have a great episode with Jimmy Tatro. Hilarious guy. I've been a big fan for a while. We're pumped to have him on. But before that, we want to let you know, the special is finally happening again. Cross your fingers, I'm not riding any scooters from now until then. On July 18th and 19th in Baltimore, four shows at the Lyric. Saturday, 7:18. There is a 7:00 PM and a 9:30 PM. Same thing on Sunday, 7:00 PM and a 9:30 PM. I'll be honest with you, we switched it from a Friday/Saturday to a Saturday/Sunday. I didn't think about the fact that people wouldn't want to go to a Sunday late show. So the Sunday late, the others have almost sold out. The Sunday late show we could use, oh come on, I know we got some scumbags in Baltimore

• 1:58Stavros Halkias?

  that have nothing better to do on a Sunday. Buy your tickets. We're so close to selling out, four shows. I can't wait to, I can't wait to finally record this. It's going to be so fun. I love this hour so much. It's gonna be a blast. Please buy your tickets if you haven't already. And then if the, if you're in New Jersey or Long Island, the weekend before, on the 10th and the 11th this coming week, I am going to be in Montclair, New Jersey, at the Wellmont Theater and at the Paramount. I think those are pretty close selling out, but buy your tickets. That'll be the last time, fingers crossed, that I do that hour before, before I record it. So, in the meantime, enjoy our pal Jimmy Tatro and enjoy the inaugural episode

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  of the Visible sponsored Stavi hotline.

• 2:46Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOP. Call the Stavi's World hotline, presented by Visible. That's right, folks, new sponsor. Visible is now sponsoring the Stavi's World hotline. All your advice, that's made possible. Me hearing the advice, that's made possible by our friends at Visible. So really consider Visible if you're looking for some excellent wireless service. Jimmy, does it feel good being here for the inaugural Visible, the inaugural Stavi's World hotline, presented by Visible?

• 3:18Speaker 04

  100%.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  Does that feel good? Yeah, we waited to have you. We got our boy Jimmy Tatro here. Thanks for being, dude, big fan. So happy, so happy you're doing the show. Yeah, we really saved that honor for you. I know you're a big Visible guy. You wouldn't shut up about it.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  I can't get enough of this stuff.

• 3:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you just, you buy extra phones.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that you don't even turn on, just because you love the service so much.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  I really, I really appreciate you, uh, seriously, it means a lot.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  Honestly, I didn't know, I didn't know he was gonna do this.

• 3:49Stavros Halkias?

  I know, man, it was a surprise, but you know, you deserve it, bro. You deserve it.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 3:53Stavros Halkias?

  We weren't gonna have a non Visible fan be here on the first episode of the,

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Of course not.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Of them being a presenting sponsor of the Stavi's World hotline.

• 4:03Stavros Halkias?

  You'd be so mad.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'd be pissed.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  You'd cancel when you see it, when you saw it air? Yeah, thanks for being here, dude. I've been a big fan, obviously. I love seeing anyone who escapes the sewer of the internet, you know, like, you know, and you, I- I lucked into podcasting weirdly, but you were a fucking, you were like on, you were really doing it, bro. You were, you were on YouTube. The Real Brothers of Simi Valley, one of the most legendary pieces of online content there is, bro. So funny. And it's very, I love seeing anybody kind of like, you know.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Make it off the tube.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  Make it out, dude, make it out of the tube.

• 4:40Speaker 04

  Make it out of the tube.

• 4:42Stavros Halkias?

  Although now I think we're going back. It seems to be the best place to put, to put shit now.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  It's, it's infuriating to see.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  I've been, the amount of articles I've seen in the last like three weeks that are like, YouTube's the new TV. And I was like, I was like, dude, I was saying that. I was trying to say this 10 years ago.

• 5:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  And you guys are like, no, no, no, no. It's not, it's not the new TV. And then, and then like, I finally get off the tube.

• 5:13Stavros Halkias?

  Fully off.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  And then all the people that I was trying to convince were like, yo,

• 5:19Speaker 04

  YouTube's actually pretty interesting.

• 5:21Stavros Halkias?

  Have you ever heard of YouTube?

• 5:23Speaker 04

  I fucking told you this, literally 15 years ago.

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. It is very funny. It does feel like as they're letting us be in movies now, like, famous people have podcasts and YouTube channels.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's almost like they're like, once they let us in, they're like, all right, we can't be around these type of guys.

• 5:42Stavros Halkias?

  We need our own podcasts. We need our own YouTube channels.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  We're headed to YouTube now. We're all, oh, you guys are still.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  They're letting these guys in movies?

• 5:51Speaker 04

  Oh, you still want to do.

• 5:51Stavros Halkias?

  Movies aren't good anymore. We gotta get out of here.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  You still want to do TV and movies? Oh, no.

• 5:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, but you know what? I love it because it is, it's kind of awesome to just have your own shit and then you can do whatever you want.

• 6:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  When you have your own like, you know, especially the, dude, a pod is a hilarious, like, like ATM machine. Thank you to everybody who is filling their empty lives with our, with our conversation and allowing us to make money off just idle conversation and chit chat.

• 6:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  We, we love you for that, folks.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  It is, it's, it's a good way to just like.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  The output of it is nice.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  And then I think once you get caught up in like the the way that you have to make things, it gets frustrating because things just take so much time.

• 6:39Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  And it used to be like you have an idea.

• 6:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  You just go execute it.

• 6:43Stavros Halkias?

  That afternoon, that afternoon and it's out in a day.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, and that freedom, it's it's nice and it also takes some getting used to not being able to, you know, make things that way.

• 6:56Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Where you're like, we've been waiting for a response.

• 6:59Stavros Halkias?

  I'm in a trailer, I'm in a trailer just waiting, or even even getting them, yeah, to get the money.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  You know, when you're like going through the process of like developing and stuff.

• 7:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  You're like, yeah, yeah, we'll get back to you.

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  Which thing you should you're working on right now, because I've I obviously I love The Real Brothers of Simi Valley. The movie was fucking hilarious and you've also been on maybe every platform possible. Like you were literally on

• 7:20Speaker 04

  Thank you for noticing that.

• 7:21Stavros Halkias?

  Facebook TV.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I tried to check.

• 7:24Stavros Halkias?

  That show's so funny because I tried to watch it like two years ago and it was like, well, three episodes are on YouTube. Four are on Facebook TV. Tubi's got one running in an ad. If you watch, if you watch an old episode of Golden Girls, if season three, episode four, the third ad break will be a full episode of Real Brothers of Simi Valley. That feels like.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  It's funny because the show, the show, like it started originally as a mini series on my YouTube channel.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 7:51Speaker 04

  And then that did well and Facebook was making a push to like, you know, have like a Netflix type.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  Everybody was trying to become like a streamer.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  They put like real money into making shows for a while and we were part of like, you know, their legit group of shows.

• 8:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 04

  And then, uh, we did two seasons. It did really well on Facebook and then they were like, wait, why are we? Why are we trying to make shows?

• 8:16Stavros Halkias?

  Why are we trying to make art?

• 8:18Speaker 04

  And they were like, let's just go back to being Facebook.

• 8:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, why are we trying to improve the human experience with art?

• 8:23Speaker 04

  What do we?

• 8:24Stavros Halkias?

  Why are we bringing laughter into the world? We should be stealing people's data. That's why, that's how we need to be making money, not funding the arts.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  So they're like, that was, that was weird. Sorry about that. I don't know why we tried to dabble in, uh, in the arts.

• 8:38Stavros Halkias?

  That was a waste of money. Now, please check out the metaverse.

• 8:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking dumb asses.

• 8:42Speaker 04

  So then, so then they left, that kinda just like ended.

• 8:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  And then Roku picked it up for the movie.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Moved into Roku City.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, we.

• 8:53Stavros Halkias?

  You rented some, some space in Roku City.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  A little billboard in Roku City for a second. The way they talk about it, they're like, they're like, you know, when the show comes out, we're gonna get you guys. We're gonna get you guys a spot in Roku City. And I'm like, well, yeah, I would hope so. It's a Roku original movie. They're like, they're like, we think we can get forty-eight hours. And, and immediately I'm like, that's good? Forty-eight hours of like.

• 9:21Stavros Halkias?

  Times Square?

• 9:22Speaker 04

  I feel like that's like bare minimum.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  Like, that's a.

• 9:26Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have other shows we're competing against?

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Free for you to.

• 9:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome, dude.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  But yeah, so the show existed on YouTube, Facebook.

• 9:37Stavros Halkias?

  And Roku, hell yeah, dude.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  But what I, what I liked the most about that show was it was like a mini-series. And then when we did season two on Facebook, it was like twelve to fifteen minutes.

• 9:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  So it upgraded.

• 9:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 04

  A lot in terms of production, everything. And then season three was like a full-length, twenty-two-minute.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  Half-hour comedy show. And then we did a movie.

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  So I was like, it had every version.

• 10:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Of what something can be.

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome though, too, because it's like a lot of this shit, and it was like your first thing that you were saying earlier, like, let's just go make it. And you did get to just kinda learn every step of the process, which is, you know, that's pretty fun.

• 10:14Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, I'm grateful for it now.

• 10:16Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  At the time, I was just looking to make fucking five seasons of this. Someone just, just stop dicking me around. Let me make a bunch of this.

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, good, I mean, you really are very, and I, I feel this way, I feel like you're very talented at playing like. Truly dumb asses. American Vandal, or it was incredible, dude. The way you're able to like, to take the light out of your eyes. Like, right now, you're a lively man, you know, with a full, with hopes and dreams. And when the cameras roll, you can just turn that off and just be like, what's up, dude? You know what I mean? That's, that's a real talent you have, dude.

• 10:55Speaker 04

  You're saying some, some really nice things.

• 11:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's a deep compliment, dude. As a guy who's, they bring in to be a bully or a horny idiot. I, I love, again, that is what they bring us in for, right? They want, they want like, a certain kind of, they're like, yeah, we could get these guys to be dumb.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  It's like, it's always the, uh, they're like, he's dumb, but he means well.

• 11:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  You can really make that dumb guy like.

• 11:22Stavros Halkias?

  But you really do play.

• 11:23Speaker 04

  You can give him some heart.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  I'm serious where you play that with complexity, where it would be really easy to just be a one-note idiot. And it is, you're real, you're fuck, you're great at that, for real.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Cause, you know, they're, they don't think they're idiots.

• 11:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  They don't think they're funny either.

• 11:39Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, they really don't.

• 11:40Speaker 04

  So that's like the funniest thing is like, these people, they, they're not actually like, I'm a funny character. They're just like, that's just who they are.

• 11:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 11:49Speaker 04

  So the more serious you are about it, the funnier it is.

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they don't have any introspection. So it's like, everything that like, there's no step between immediate impulsive thought and doing something or saying something. And that's a, I don't know, there's a real beauty in that.

• 12:06Speaker 04

  I really envy sometimes, just like a total lack of awareness.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  Like, you know, when you hear stories about someone and you're like, damn, it really takes a complete and utter lack of self-awareness to have that kind of story about you.

• 12:21Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. He just went in there and demanded a raise. He's been there for like a month. And he got it because the boss respected his chutzpah? It's like, what the fuck? I've been working quietly like a fucking asshole for years. Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 04

  I'm like, man, I wish, you know, you hear these stories, I'm like, I don't think there's any stories that are that crazy about me.

• 12:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Where they're like, oh yeah, that guy on set, he was crazy. He did this, this and this. I'm like, man, I wish I had. Like one of those.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you wish your there you one P A got scalding hot teeth thrown in their face. Yeah, I should. Yeah. Something like that.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  Just one.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Just one, and it's a rich guy's kid who hasn't had, and you're actually helping him. Right? Because like, a lot of these nepo P A's, you know, they've never faced any consequences. So it would be good for you to act out, and it would be good for them to finally have something to write about on a college admissions essay.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  You want to know the the most annoying I've felt about something I was irritated about?

• 13:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  There was a P A, and this, I even hate that I'm even saying this.

• 13:20Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  There was a P A that would knock so loud.

• 13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's the kind of thing you can't be like, hey, could you turn that down thirty percent?

• 13:29Speaker 04

  And I'm like, I don't have the heart to like, open the door and go, could you tone it down? Like, I'm right here.

• 13:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right.

• 13:38Speaker 04

  It's not that big of a room.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's a tough one, too.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  And also, the couch is right here. So when you're when you're knocking, it's, you know, it's bang, bang, bang. And I just like.

• 13:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  Every time I'm sitting there chilling, and then it's all.

• 13:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  And I never had the heart to be like.

• 13:53Stavros Halkias?

  Please turn that down.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Hey, could you knock less loud?

• 13:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a really, it's a reasonable, in in a vacuum, it's a very reasonable ask. But imagine that conversation, and it's like, yeah, teacher asked me to turn it down exactly fifteen percent.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  On the knock.

• 14:11Stavros Halkias?

  And if it was, if it was more or less, he'd have me fucking fired. If I didn't figure out how to get it.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  As I'm saying this, in the wake of our last conversation, like, maybe that should have been my.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  That could have been my thing.

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  That could be good. You could be like, and play it dumb, too, but, bruh, it's too loud.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Too loud.

• 14:29Stavros Halkias?

  If you act like an idiot, oh, that's how you get around it. Because like, oh, he's a sweet guy.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  I did, I did act, the first thing I went, one time I acted like really thrown off.

• 14:40Speaker 04

  Like.

• 14:40Stavros Halkias?

  You use this as an acting exercise?

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just, like, I opened it, I opened the door, like, like, is everything okay? Like, I opened it like, hello? And she was like, they're ready for you. And I was like, oh.

• 14:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I thought someone had died.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:52Stavros Halkias?

  I thought there was. I thought they hit a third tower.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  I thought like.

• 14:56Stavros Halkias?

  I thought there was a real problem. Yeah, dude.

• 14:59Speaker 04

  I thought like the cops were here.

• 15:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 04

  And they like found something and I was busted.

• 15:05Stavros Halkias?

  I know. My favorite shit is like, it is funny to go from having absolutely nothing and seeing how they really like, truly, you see why actors become insane.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:16Stavros Halkias?

  Because they just have like two, two like, you know, two people assigned to their every whim. To the point where I'm just like, bro, you don't have to, they'll like try and hold an umbrella over your head. And it's like, I can hold my umbrella, dog. I'm not gonna fucking lash out at you.

• 15:31Speaker 04

  I know.

• 15:31Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not, I'm not like a guy who's gonna put out cigarettes on your forehead for pissing me off.

• 15:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:36Stavros Halkias?

  But it seems like, it is funny how much they used to get away with, whereas now it's like, when you come from like, oh, I just have a camera and me and my friends. It's like, you don't need any of this shit.

• 15:44Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:45Stavros Halkias?

  But at the same time.

• 15:46Speaker 04

  But at the same time.

• 15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Am I mad somebody brings some fucking steak to my trailer at lunch?

• 15:51Speaker 04

  Am I mad when I'm sitting there in the sun and someone's like?

• 15:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:56Stavros Halkias?

  A little fan.

• 15:56Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 15:57Stavros Halkias?

  They give me a little fan. That's the most I feel like a baby.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  Oh, the fan?

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, and like hair and makeup, like truly, this is, it's so funny to go from, again, doing shit on your own to like, you just have like the nicest women of all time and like the nicest women and like coolest gay guys of all time just primping your hair. Like, there'll be like four people. And I look like shit. That's the other thing. They bring me in a movie to be the fat guy, right? It's not like, you know, I'm on a movie with Glenn Powell. Yeah, primp up.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  They're putting makeup. You're like, you're ruining it.

• 16:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. This is not the look, but it's so funny to just be fat as shit and just have somebody like dabbing your forehead oil. It's like, I don't need this, man.

• 16:35Speaker 04

  I was on the phone with one of my buddies from college and I was like, I'm so glad he can't see what I'm doing. Cause like while we're on the phone, I'm like, I get like, I get a knock and then they're like, they're ready for you. And I'm like, okay, cool. So I'm walking and talking and I'm being, you know, escorted by the P A into the room. I get to set. Someone takes my jacket off. Someone puts my other jacket on. And then there's, and then they're, they're putting the hair and makeup there. There's three people around me and I'm just talking to them and I'm like, thank God he can't see this.

• 17:06Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  I'd be getting a whole lot of judgment.

• 17:08Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent. And I broke my arm so litera- like when I was working on a movie. And literally, not only were people like helping with hair and makeup, but like they were dressing me like a fat, like a giant baby. Like I was just like, I was just waiting.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  Cause they were trying to hide it?

• 17:22Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I couldn't, I couldn't hold, I just couldn't dress myself. I couldn't use my left arm at the time.

• 17:26Speaker 04

  But like, were they hiding it in the show?

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  They were hiding it a little bit, but it was mostly just, I physically could not get my clothing on. I was that like momentarily disabled. So it was just like, I felt like a giant baby. It was like, okay buddy, we're gonna put your suspenders on now. I was like, I don't want the suspenders. Get me the belt. You know, and it was just, it's the most pathetic you fucking feel. And then for what? To just go up there and like, be like, just riff? That's what all this is for?

• 17:54Speaker 04

  I had one of those in a, in an Iron Man costume. I did a show called Home Economics.

• 17:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  And uh, we were always doing like holiday episodes.

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 04

  It was like a network show. It felt like we were just moving from like Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year's to Valentine's Day.

• 18:10Stavros Halkias?

  I love, I miss that when it comes to how TV is made now. It was awesome when there was like, they had thirty fucking episodes. By the way, it was cool when twelve episodes sucked dick. I liked when, when shows just phoned it in half the time. Cause it's like, look, cause they were po- network TV was what podcasting was. Where it was like, just fucking throw some bullshit in the background. You know what I mean? And every once in a while, there's a good one.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  We did twenty-two, season two.

• 18:35Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  And like, that was a lot.

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  But there was, the episode was, I like had this legit, my character was super rich and my brother wasn't. So he had like a shitty Iron Man costume and I had like, I had like a legit.

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  But it was, you can't put that thing on yourself. So I had literally four people. I'd had to get there like an hour early. And stand there in this little like um, red onesie. Like you know those green guys, the green onesies? It was like that but red. And I would stand there like this in the morning. And then it was like these big things on my fingers, so I couldn't use my hands. And I had to be like, coffee.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  And someone would come over with a little straw.

• 19:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 04

  And I also couldn't sit down.

• 19:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  Cause they were worried it would break. So they had crutches for me.

• 19:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  I would just lean.

• 19:24Stavros Halkias?

  Damn.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  They just had a little thing for me to lean on.

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  And then one time they laid me down and I had to just, I was like.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Apple box.

• 19:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  And I just was like, I just couldn't move. They're like, are you all right? I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm just resting.

• 19:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm good. Like, have you heard, like, the Grinch, when Jim Carrey did the Grinch? And they literally had to teach him, I was reading, they did, they just put out some like, um, like oral history of it. And they literally brought in a guy who trained like Green Berets or CIA guys. With anti-torture techniques. So he was just in there like, like as if he was getting water. He had, he had the same training that people getting waterboarded had. He was saying it sucked that much, but.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  It makes sense because you're in there for like seven hours.

• 20:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  And also you probably get a little, imagine first thing you wake up, like it sucks to put makeup on in the morning when you're like, my face isn't even awake yet and you're covering it.

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, yeah, this is the first time I've worn makeup and I'm like, women do this every day.

• 20:24Speaker 04

  Every day?

• 20:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  But then like, imagine, I don't know, the Grinch makeup?

• 20:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  Dude, I, I feel like I'd be claustrophobic in there, like you're sitting in there and it's all hairy and you're just like.

• 20:36Stavros Halkias?

  Were you like?

• 20:36Speaker 04

  It's getting in your mouth.

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, you don't want that. Who knows what that's made of? Who knows what that, those are synthetic fibers for sure. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month.

• 21:21Stavros Halkias?

  Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro. Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code staff. Terms apply.

• 21:29Speaker 02

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• 22:15Stavros Halkias?

  Did you, were you like a theater kid? Like what did you, like, what did you, as a kid, were you at, what were you, what were you like up to? You're more of a jock?

• 22:23Speaker 04

  I was more jockey.

• 22:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Um, but I, I made videos, like I've always made videos.

• 22:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  That was just kind of like, I got a video camera when I was like, my, my parents had a video camera and I would, and I would like make skate videos. And that was kind of my entry to filmmaking.

• 22:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. With skate videos.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Skate videos, because also skate videos back then were like funny.

• 22:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 04

  And so I would like.

• 22:50Stavros Halkias?

  The CKY school of skate videos.

• 22:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:52Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 22:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:53Stavros Halkias?

  The proto jackass school of, like, because jackass did come out of skate videos.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I would see those and then I kind of would do like, we'd do our skating stuff and then do like a little sketch, like a little comedy sketch. And then, and I was also, I kind of learned how to edit a little bit, even though I didn't have an editing program, because I would just like, I had a boombox and I would hit play and record at the same time.

• 23:16Stavros Halkias?

  Camera.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  And then, but the funny part is I couldn't, I wasn't editing it, so we'd shoot all the bales at the end.

• 23:23Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  You know, keep in mind, I'm like nine.

• 23:25Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  But like.

• 23:26Stavros Halkias?

  We're talking.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  We're like, all right, time for the bales portion. And it would just be us fake falling. You know, for the bails.

• 23:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  And then it was like intercut with little sketches.

• 23:36Stavros Halkias?

  The tricks are so easy, you can't fail. You're like, all right, let's pretend we did.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:41Speaker 04

  It was just like, some of them were obvious. Some of them were obvious, some of them weren't.

• 23:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  Uh, but that was like how I started.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  Uh, making like sketches. And then once I got to high school, I took a TV production class, learned how to edit.

• 23:54Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  And then that was where I really started making videos for fun. And then in college, I started.

• 24:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  The YouTube channel.

• 24:03Stavros Halkias?

  Well, how good were you at skating? What was the best thing you ever fucking pulled off, dude?

• 24:06Speaker 04

  I could like tray flip.

• 24:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's not bad.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  Um, but I.

• 24:13Stavros Halkias?

  The crowd loves it, dude.

• 24:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, man. Um.

• 24:17Stavros Halkias?

  This man could fucking tray flip.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  Pretty much.

• 24:23Stavros Halkias?

  Elders, I remember you had a brief attempt at skating.

• 24:26Speaker 05

  Yes, I was, I really wanted to be good at skating, but I was always a bit oldish, a big, large.

• 24:32Stavros Halkias?

  I can't imagine a worse body type for skating than your body.

• 24:36Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  That's a tough thing to realize. Like, so there's some things you're just not built for.

• 24:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's just not gonna happen.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  And I'm, I've always been, you know, a little stocky.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  And that's not ideal for skating. You wanna be a little more wiry, but that's not an excuse. I just didn't have what it takes.

• 24:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's all right, man. It's okay. I know, it's like some growing, like as a kid, you realize like skaters, A, were cool, like, I feel like we grew up, we're out, we're on the same age. We grew up in the era where like, the skate, in the white community, the skater boy was like the guy everybody wanted to suck off.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 25:11Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it was like, and it was, cause they were athletic, but like model, you had to have kind of a model body to be good at it. You know, like a little stocky guy's not gonna cut it. You had to have kind of like, like, uh, the, the sort of Jack Skellington, but like, but cool and with a, and a little athletic and there was like a bad boy element to it. And there was, those guys were cleaning up in the 2000s.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 25:34Stavros Halkias?

  It was, that's who, and I understand why, Elders, you wanted to be those guys. I never even considered it an option for what. Whatever reason, I think I was sort of like pretending I was a good, like I was a jock too. Where I was like, um, in sixth grade, my origin story is I did not get the part, I did not get Charlie Brown and you're a good man Charlie Brown. And then I was like, fuck art dude, I'm a fucking jock. You're gonna fucking pass me over for Charlie Brown, you fucking idiots, I'll show you.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  Who got it?

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I don't even know. And I also lost funniest, uh, class clown in high school.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  That's tough.

• 26:09Stavros Halkias?

  But it was a closeted black guy and gay black dudes are the funniest people on earth. And afterwards, he's kind of come out, has a full life, he has a husband now. So it's like, I can't even really be mad.

• 26:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:21Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't lose it to like some guy who like, you know, I don't know, a, a lower grade class clown. And also, you know what I mean? Like, that would have been tough.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  I see, a- as a class clown myself.

• 26:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Did you win? Did you?

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Back to back, eighth grade and then high school.

• 26:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, first you're fucking tray flipping, now you're winning back to back.

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Back to back.

• 26:40Stavros Halkias?

  Now you're just rubbing salt in my wounds.

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, give him the boot, he's fuck Jimmy.

• 26:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, man.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  But with the skating, I, you know what's funny is I, my mom was very protective and we, I grew up in Venice. And I was hanging out with these guys that were like five years older than me.

• 27:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:02Speaker 04

  And so she was like, and like, you know, this kid, this kid Kevin, he would always like pick up cigarettes off the ground and smoke them. I'm like, damn, that kid insane.

• 27:09Stavros Halkias?

  That guy's awesome.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  And uh, she's like, I don't like you hanging out with Kevin. He like keyed my dad's car.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  But they had me wearing like, they made me wear helmets and like pads. For a long time. And so I was like robo kid out there.

• 27:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  And I was good, but like, it really hurt my style.

• 27:28Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's about style, it's mostly lifestyle.

• 27:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, guys who become good, it kind of is by accident. It's mostly to just smoke cigarettes on the ground, you know, be, be a, be a 16 year old that's like, you know.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, who doesn't give a fuck.

• 27:42Stavros Halkias?

  Who doesn't, who's dropped, who dropped out of middle school somehow. And his parents don't fucking care.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  How are you skipping middle?

• 27:49Stavros Halkias?

  And plenty of those guys did. By the way, so Venice, we're talking like the classic boardwalk situation. Is that what I mean?

• 27:55Speaker 04

  Well, it's funny because people are like, oh, you grew up in Venice skating like at skate park must have been amazing. Dude, they put that in like 10 years ago, maybe 15 years ago.

• 28:05Stavros Halkias?

  You were in, yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  I had already left Venice.

• 28:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:07Speaker 04

  I moved when I was like 14, but the Venice skate park used to just be like, it's actually still there.

• 28:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  It's just like, people now are like, oh, look at this little walkway on the way to

• 28:19Stavros Halkias?

  To the real shit.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  The real skate park. It was nothing. It was like this little tiny curb ramp and then like one rail thing.

• 28:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 04

  And that was, that was it.

• 28:30Stavros Halkias?

  That sounds like a fun crew though. I mean, being, being, hanging out with kids five years older when you're like 11. Is, is that it? Your parents were so right. That's the danger zone. Because it's like that, like those kids are straight up like, some of them are smoking crack and you know, like I grew up in Baltimore. There were definitely kids who were like, oh wow, these motherfuckers are doing drugs now. Like there were kids who were just, I remember a kid got, went, came to school high in middle school and I was like, we're doing drugs? I was like so scared. I was like, wait, fuck, I'm not ready to do drugs yet. I was like, literally like, no, I'm not gonna be cool. Because this kid wasn't cool either. And it immediately, he catapulted to cool guy.

• 29:09Stavros Halkias?

  One of the biggest dorks of all time. All he had to do was have a sad home life and have access to marijuana as a 12 year old. And everyone's like, fuck dude, that kid's fucking awesome. And then he got, yeah, and then he really, I, I respect that kid because then he went into becoming the one straight guy in the drama program, which is a smart move if you want, uh, women's attention as a loser, but he did everything right. I have to tip my cap. If you do, kids, do drugs. Do drugs early, you'll be cool. And if you, and if women won't talk to you, just be the one Straight guy in drama. That one is actually a great. I kind of regret that that wasn't my path, actually, the second one.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:51Stavros Halkias?

  I would have, I would have, I would have A. loved it. Clearly, that's what I was meant to do. I don't know who I was pretending a five, seven, two fifty. I'm like, I'm gonna make the NFL. I literally thought.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  I also took way too long to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't gonna go to the NBA. Looking back on it, I was like, no one was able to talk some sense into me. Like dude, just look at the facts.

• 30:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Five foot ten.

• 30:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  Look at the NBA. Watch a game. Watch five games. You don't see, there's not one guy.

• 30:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, there is.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  That's your size.

• 30:21Stavros Halkias?

  It's, he's the most skilled basketball player that's ever lived.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  But I don't even know if there's a five, ten guy in the league right now.

• 30:27Stavros Halkias?

  Right now.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  And a five, ten white guy. Cause it was like, there was like a five, ten guy, but not a five, ten white guy.

• 30:33Stavros Halkias?

  No, you're right. Isaiah Thomas is the last guy who, the Isaiah Thomas, the Celtics.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:39Stavros Halkias?

  Isaiah Thomas was, he was like, honestly, he might have been five, nine, dude. He was so fucking tiny.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  He was short.

• 30:43Stavros Halkias?

  Look up Isaiah Thomas Heidell, please. Do some fucking producing for god's sakes. Uh, and, uh.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Wait, no, I wanna see.

• 30:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, hold on.

• 30:52Speaker 05

  Five, nine?

• 30:53Speaker 04

  Five, nine.

• 30:53Stavros Halkias?

  Nailed it.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  I remember seeing Steve Nash and I was like, oh, short white guy. Look him up, six, three. I was like, oh.

• 31:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's, NBA players are the most like, what, if you watch the game and then see them in person, it's the most jarring thing of all time because a guy you think is small, like six, three, right?

• 31:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Like Steph Curry, who we think of as a small, the shooting, whatever, six, three, you might, ma- maybe Steph, yeah, I think Steph is six, three, six, two.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:22Stavros Halkias?

  If you saw him next to like a defensive end, they wouldn't look that different.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  Right.

• 31:27Stavros Halkias?

  Like Russell Westbrook is insane, is like cra- if you saw that motherfucker walking around, you'd be like, that's like a someone injected him with like super soldier serum. Like, he's so jacked, he's fucking huge. But yeah, basketball players are the most like, it just, it really tricks you into how huge these guys are.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. I, there's no way to explain to a kid, though.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  Of course not.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  You can't do anything.

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Your body does limit you in some career path.

• 31:55Stavros Halkias?

  And your mind. You know, let's be honest about that also. But yeah, you have to tell a kid, you basically, to raise a child well, have to lie to it first. And then kinda slowly reveal.

• 32:06Speaker 04

  Slowly be like.

• 32:06Stavros Halkias?

  Let them figure it out for themselves.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  Be like, Scott, are you sure you wanna be a swimmer?

• 32:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 04

  I'm gonna swim.

• 32:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, just trying to backstroke.

• 32:17Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I skipped swimming and, uh, we had a swimming, uh, portion in high school and I was, that was the tail end of my, uh, fat shame. And I was like, I can't be fucking titties out in 10th grade. But I kinda regret it now, cause I, I, to this day, I'm a poor swimmer. I think because I skipped that program. And then in college, I was like, let me take swimming now. I'll actually learn.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  You took swimming in college?

• 32:42Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there, you had to get like two PE credits, basically, like in, at my school.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 32:46Stavros Halkias?

  And I never graduated, by the way, uh, but, but I took the swimming class. I was like, this will be good. It'll chance for me to learn, be a stronger swimmer. I just never went. And I was like, it's PE. I'll just take it next semester. And they passed me. And I was like, great. Well, never have to take a swimming class again.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  You had PE in college?

• 33:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like, uh.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  Is that a normal thing?

• 33:06Stavros Halkias?

  Like, uh, yeah, a couple gym credits, I feel like. Elders, you, did, in Maryland, did you have to take gym?

• 33:12Speaker 05

  I don't think so. It just really rang about.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  I think high school was the end of, uh, PE.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you know, the University of Maryland Baltimore County, uh, disagrees with you.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  They need, they need their kids swimming.

• 33:22Stavros Halkias?

  They need them swimming. It is a dork school, so it's maybe kinda like, hey, let's let these fucking, let's let these guys come out with a little, little something going on.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  I used to, I swam a lot in college. I went to the University of Arizona.

• 33:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah, dude.

• 33:34Speaker 04

  And they had a beautiful swimming pool.

• 33:36Stavros Halkias?

  Rigorous academic program.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Rigorous academics. And they had, the swimming pool at the school was like, comically cool.

• 33:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wait, wait, Arizona's Wildcats, not Sun Devils. Sun Devils are the ones.

• 33:51Speaker 04

  The Sun Devils are the rigorous academics.

• 33:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's, that's Grok.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:54Stavros Halkias?

  Gronk, sorry.

• 33:55Speaker 04

  But the, the, Gronk is U of A.

• 33:57Stavros Halkias?

  Gronk is, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  And, uh, but they had this swimming pool that was like. I mean, it felt in college like, like it was like a Vegas.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  You know, like everyone just is there.

• 34:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, like a fun hangout.

• 34:08Speaker 04

  Like it was a fun hangout, but then it also was like this beautiful lap pool. And we would just get so high.

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Go swim laps.

• 34:16Stavros Halkias?

  Put the goggles on.

• 34:17Speaker 04

  And put the goggles on and we'd be like in there doing like ninja battles, like in the deep end. And the lifeguard, we were doing like these swim workouts, but they were like, they looked weird from above. They must have.

• 34:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 04

  And one day the lifeguard was like, what are you guys doing? I see you guys, you come here like three times a week to swim laps.

• 34:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:36Speaker 04

  What are you doing? We're like, oh, we came up with like a little, little swim workout thing that we do.

• 34:42Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  She's like, okay. And then we realized that they were just watching us from the lifeguard tower, just like looking down.

• 34:47Stavros Halkias?

  Looking down is tough.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  And we're literally in the deep end, like doing like.

• 34:50Stavros Halkias?

  Doing karate at each other.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  Kai Chi.

• 34:54Stavros Halkias?

  That you developed like.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  That we developed, we were like playing games.

• 34:58Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way that was did anything.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  We had like a whole workout program, like we'd go across just like doing this.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  And, and they had underwater speakers, so we were really vibing out.

• 35:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's cool.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  And sometimes the synchronized swimmers would be practicing.

• 35:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's cool.

• 35:13Speaker 04

  And we could watch them from under.

• 35:15Stavros Halkias?

  If you're high, that's all.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  Oh, man, you're like under there watching synchronized swimmers.

• 35:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Have this little like, uh, formation.

• 35:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  That they go up to the top and launch.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  Very cool.

• 35:27Stavros Halkias?

  That is cool. I would love to do, I would love to sit underwater and just fucking watch some crazy shit like that. Cause I was, I don't know how the fuck they do synchronized swimming. That's some shit where you're like.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  I do.

• 35:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've seen it. That's right. You've seen the practice. You've seen how the sausage is made.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  And they're in there, they got a, they got a microphone that's going to the wire and they're like, one, two, three, four, five, six. And then they're just like going through the, but they create to throw someone like this, um.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  Pyramid?

• 35:56Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 35:57Speaker 04

  Underwater pyramid?

• 35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 04

  And they're all like bicycling?

• 36:01Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  And they all rise together and then the person at the top is able to do like a

• 36:07Stavros Halkias?

  Little trick.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  But it's like a whole pyramid of.

• 36:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. The tip of the iceberg.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:12Stavros Halkias?

  It's gotta be nice to be the tip.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:14Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you're the baddest bitch in the synchronized swimming. It's gotta be tough to be the bot- like, it's classic. As, again, speaking of someone who's never touched even the second layer of a human pyramid.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 36:25Stavros Halkias?

  I wonder what it's like up there. You know what I mean? What's the highest you've ever been on a human pyramid?

• 36:30Speaker 04

  I was never a top guy either.

• 36:31Stavros Halkias?

  Never a top guy, but maybe you got to the second rung?

• 36:33Speaker 04

  I was probably like second.

• 36:34Stavros Halkias?

  You feel like a second rung guy to me?

• 36:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, second rung.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, I'm, I'm a cornerstone, dude. I'm right at the bottom, you know what I mean? Like, I might be right in the middle of the bottom.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. One day, one day I'll know what it's like at the top. I had a ve- I wonder if I could start the first incredibly fat man synchronized swimming club?

• 36:54Speaker 04

  That would be fun to watch.

• 36:56Stavros Halkias?

  That would be fun to watch? You wanna talk about? You wanna talk about a fun watch underwater?

• 37:00Speaker 04

  I would watch that.

• 37:05Speaker 04

  Like an amateur tier, not like the, not the best.

• 37:08Stavros Halkias?

  No, just for the love of the game, man.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Like an amateur fat man swimming, synchronized swimming.

• 37:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes. Cause there's gotta be some great swimmers that got fat.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:16Stavros Halkias?

  And we need them, right?

• 37:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:18Stavros Halkias?

  In the monta- in the recruitment montage, I'm, that's what I'm, that's how I'm starting. I'm going to like former college, like, you know, national champions and looking them up on, on Instagram. Being like, who's gotten fat here? You know what, it's not gonna just be men. I thought about this, it's gonna be coed. You know what I mean? Let's get some, let's get some, you know?

• 37:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:35Stavros Halkias?

  You know, that, some, let's get some fat ladies in there too.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Well, you're definitely, if, if it's coed, you're definitely not getting to the top of the pyramid then.

• 37:41Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, you're right, it's gotta be, you're right, you're right, you're right. Or, yeah. Or we really prioritize very, very fat women. Because I feel like they're, they're forgotten in our society, maybe the most forgotten group. And we make them our, I make them our superstars. Thank you, that's right.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  If you're fa- if you're an incredibly fat woman who's good at swimming and fatter than me, I know that's, this gonna, I'm describing maybe one person.

• 38:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'm describing maybe.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  But brother, she is on the edge of her seat right now.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  I don't even know how that happens, but we're we're gonna find you. Okay. Uh, all right. This is good. Let's put a pin in that, Eldis. Let's put the very fat, the incredibly fat people's, uh, and it's for the people, by the way. The people, the obese.

• 38:32Stavros Halkias?

  Let's come up with a catchy name. The obese ladies and gentlemen's aquatic club.

• 38:38Speaker 04

  Ooh, aquatics. I like aquatics.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  Obese aquatics.

• 38:41Speaker 04

  Aquatics is good. It sounds very.

• 38:43Stavros Halkias?

  Obese aquatics is.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  Obese aquatics.

• 38:45Stavros Halkias?

  Obese aquatics is a nice starting point. Cause again, the incredibly fat people do get forgotten, especially I feel like aquatically, because there's so much less clothing that you can hide behind. This is gonna be a good, this is gonna be good. This is gonna be a big body positive thing.

• 39:00Speaker 04

  Because I think also a little bit of fat is helpful in the water. Helps you float.

• 39:05Stavros Halkias?

  Helps you float. And we're gonna be doing a lot of floating. There's gonna be a lot of locking arms and floating and like kind of wiggling our feet. You know, like we'll figure this out. We'll figure this out. Thank you for being here and and kind of spurring, uh, this, this momentum, this creative momentum.

• 39:20Speaker 02

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• 39:59Speaker 02

  limited time at coopsleepgoods.com/comedy. That's C-O-O-P, sleepgoods.com/comedy.

• 40:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice. I love that, dude. So, so it was from skating to hoops. What was your greatest hoops glory? Was it like an AAU game, a high school game?

• 40:33Speaker 04

  Uh, it was not in high, it was not my high school. It was like, um, club.

• 40:40Stavros Halkias?

  Ah.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  My high school coach, he didn't like me too much.

• 40:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no. This, this shows you how much like this is in your head. It's like you're successful. You're like, you have a successful career in, in a very hard to you, you, you're like, to be an actor is so tough. Like out of the internet, like we said, and you're still like, man, fuck my high school basketball coach.

• 41:03Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I still think of that, but with my Greek Orthodox Youth of America basketball coach. That's right. The highest basketball I ever played was Greek church league basketball.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Okay. How many teams?

• 41:16Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we had a good, every, there's a, there's a, every church has a team. We'd have tournaments. It was fun.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  And this is in Baltimore?

• 41:23Stavros Halkias?

  Baltimore and you would go up and down the east coast, you know, as far south as Newport News, Virginia. As far north as somewhere in Pennsylvania.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  You know, I was like, damn, you're traveling. And then I was like, coming from California, that's pretty much like going to Fresno.

• 41:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's nothing. Oh yeah. Fresno, what a horrible place.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  I would, I would feel myself, cause you know, I was, I was a shooter. But if I was too far behind the three point line, cause I could shoot from deep, but I would, I would, if I would start the shooting motion, I would see him already calling for a sub.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  And like that scarred me so deeply, just like getting ready to shoot and just seeing him being like, yeah. Go get gym. And then I was like, if I hit it, he'd, he'd call off the sub.

• 42:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  This is such an unhealthy way.

• 42:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  To play. I'm just constantly in my head. I cared so much.

• 42:14Stavros Halkias?

  You should get, especially at that time, you really think he's stopping you from the NBA.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  I really did. And also I, cause I, I went to like a, I went to a camp. I did really well at this camp. I made like the all-star team at the camp.

• 42:27Stavros Halkias?

  That feels good.

• 42:28Speaker 04

  And that felt good. That might be my.

• 42:30Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, honestly, cause there's probably like, did you ever, cause I love when people have the stories of like the one random NBA player in like a camp or a high school.

• 42:37Speaker 04

  There was a few at the, it was the double pump camp, which was like a big camp. And I made the all-star team. I play in the all-star game and then I started getting letters from Yale. And I was like, ooh, I can, I mean, I'm, am I going to go play basketball for Yale?

• 42:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  They come watch me play. My coach plays me for one minute that game.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Puts me in, puts me in to take the game winning shot and that's it.

• 43:05Stavros Halkias?

  Did you make it?

• 43:06Speaker 04

  No.

• 43:08Speaker 04

  No dude.

• 43:11Speaker 04

  Puts me in, there's like thirty seconds on the clock. I'm pissed off. I'm like Yale came to this game. I don't play one, I don't play one minute and he's like Jim.

• 43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Ice cold.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  What?

• 43:24Stavros Halkias?

  Hey man, biggest moment of the game, ice cold, you're pissed at me all day.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Brings me in to hit the game winning shot, I miss.

• 43:29Stavros Halkias?

  You're a child too, like you don't have the psyche.

• 43:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm like seventeen.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  Yale stopped calling.

• 43:36Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck this guy dude, I don't fuck, I don't like your coach.

• 43:39Speaker 04

  No, me neither, man.

• 43:39Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck you dude, Jimmy's too fucking good of a guy to say it, but fuck you man.

• 43:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:44Stavros Halkias?

  You, you really need to rethink what you're doing.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  Sucked all the fun out of the game, man. We look back on it, I talked to my, my buddies, we're like, damn, he, he really, he really sucked all the fun out of the game. We're sitting there like doing, like, he like watched Coach Carter and was like, yeah.

• 44:01Stavros Halkias?

  Well dude, you get that.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  He was like, yeah, I'm gonna run these kids like that.

• 44:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's, yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 04

  And I'm like, but they're, they're like, they have the talent.

• 44:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 44:09Speaker 04

  We need to be shooting the ball.

• 44:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 04

  We're like doing defensive slides all practice.

• 44:13Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, you guys were hilariously right, that's exactly where the game went right after you basically. It was like shooting and like spread the floor, whatever. The high school coach is a fascinating guy in general, cause you get so many people, like so many losers, like who failed out of everything, kinda launder, like they just basically, they, if they don't have it, if they don't take it out on their kids, they're like, what if I could take it out on forty of somebody else's kids? You know what I mean? Like what if my life failures could be a bunch of children's problems?

• 44:47Speaker 04

  And they're like, wait, all these kids are taking me really seriously.

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  They're kinda hanging on to every word I say.

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  This is the first time anyone's ever respected me.

• 44:55Speaker 04

  They have to listen to me.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy how many guys are so fucking bad at it.

• 44:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then they're like, I either do this or I, or I become a cop.

• 45:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Kind of the same, kind of same mentality.

• 45:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, imagine the guys that are both, cop, high school football coach, maybe the worst guy of all time. No, you're so right. That is like, yeah, that's like if you're. You're too much of a coward to be a police officer. But you still want to abuse your authority.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  You still want some power.

• 45:22Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta be a high school coach.

• 45:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great show. Hey, I don't know, man. You should, you should play your shitty, that's how you get it, you get it back in him. You make a show about a fucking loser. Basically, you make like Ted Lasso, but like.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  But if he was.

• 45:37Stavros Halkias?

  But if it's real.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  But a bad guy.

• 45:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just a piece of shit.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:41Stavros Halkias?

  Where, yeah, yeah, yeah. You make like just, that's honestly, I don't, I like this, dude.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  It's not bad.

• 45:46Stavros Halkias?

  Write this down, I'll just write that down right next to obese aquatics.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  I did want to do a show about.

• 45:51Stavros Halkias?

  Obese aquatics, you can have the basketball.

• 45:52Speaker 04

  I did want to do a show about like the, about a group of guys that like decide to start coaching like rec league basketball.

• 46:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  Like as a bet.

• 46:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  And then they all become super invested in like their teams.

• 46:07Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. I like that.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  Maybe there's some crossover.

• 46:09Stavros Halkias?

  I think there's some crossover. You have to do it as a bet and then you get invested in it. If it's two different guys, one could do it for pure reasons and the other one becomes a piece of shit. That could be another thing to see. It almost becomes like how power corrupt, how even the smallest amount of power corrupts. I think that's good. I mean, truly, that's, that might be the proof of that theory. High school athletics.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:34Stavros Halkias?

  The smallest amount of power corrupts. And then you like go back and it's like, these guys that you idolize, you look at their resume, it's like, he watched football. Some of these guys didn't even play or they played in high school and now they're, and it's like, this guy is not a fucking, I mean, I remember the summer, the summer, I played football for a couple of years. And the summer, my senior year, they fired the coach who I liked and hired like a real old disciplinarian, like a guy had been coaching high school football for like 30 years and I just quit. I was like, I'm not fucking doing this bullshit. I'm not running today. I don't fucking care, dude.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  You're like, I, I, I'm contingent on the coach.

• 47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Hundred percent.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  We had a guy that, uh, he, he, he just had this voice that like it cracked like every, every time, every other word.

• 47:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough.

• 47:24Speaker 04

  And when he used to scream at us, he'd come in and he'd be like, come on, Sarah, what's going on out there?

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  And he had this like squeaky voice and I would do these impressions of him.

• 47:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  He'd like, he would like do this whole thing and he also got like really animated where he'd be like, you're going out there, you're showboating around, what are you doing? And, and I started doing these impressions.

• 47:47Stavros Halkias?

  I know the impressions went crazy.

• 47:49Speaker 04

  Come on, Sarah.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  And then so it became like, when he started going on that like rampage,

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  people were looking.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Everyone would start like, like you could just feel the room trying so hard not to laugh like, oh, he's getting squeaky.

• 48:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  It's just like those moments, you know, when you look around and you just make eye contact with your friend and neither can smile.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:13Speaker 04

  And it's like you just give him that, that look from across the room, the complete deadpan look. And you just see, you just see the whole room just like with their, with their heads down.

• 48:24Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, the flip side of like the authoritarian piece of shit coach is the guy who really is trying to, in his mind, was trying to help children and is a nice guy and gets bullied by children. That also happened, my first, my JV soccer coach, some guy named Sandy, we fucking lit him up, dude. He tried, he tried to discipline us and it was like, we had a bunch of delinquent pieces of shit on it. Like, so we were like smoking weed behind the CVS before practice and we literally just made this guy quit coaching. And then they hired, really quickly, they hired just a, just a guy, they didn't do a background check. He, I, he hap, I knew the guy, he, this is crazy, this coincidence is insane.

• 49:04Stavros Halkias?

  He happened to, he was a former deacon at my church who was arrested. He robbed the church. He did an Ocean's Eleven heist. On like the fucking church candle money. It was like him and a fucking guy, him and a guy now who has a very successful career, literally working on the docks from season two of The Wire. They, they masterminded this thing. And I was in a position where only I knew this guy was a criminal who clearly didn't pass a background check. They were just trying to like replace the coach. So I had all this like.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Wait, you knew about this, but people didn't know? How did you know?

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I went to the, I knew him. He was a Greek guy from my church.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  It was just known at the church.

• 49:43Stavros Halkias?

  A couple of years ago, like three or four years prior to this, this guy had quit. He had been kicked out of the priesthood because he tried, him and a guy from the neighborhood robbed the church in like a heist.

• 49:56Speaker 04

  Elementary scheme.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's so pathetic.

• 49:58Speaker 04

  Like, that seems like the kind of heist that like a kid came up with.

• 50:03Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  It was like, hey, we should steal this money that's going around. Like, cause it's the one that they pass around, right?

• 50:08Stavros Halkias?

  You see dollar bills.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, you see dollar bills. What if we stole that?

• 50:11Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, there must be fifteen hundred dollars in there.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  Imagine what they have in the back. Maybe, maybe over a thousand.

• 50:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's, dude, literally it was, I believe it was during Holy Week. The one smart thing they did was they waited for Holy Week where people are coming and I, and they robbed it after Holy Week, but it was like, you immediately, they immediately got caught.

• 50:33Speaker 04

  And the church is like, we're looking for, we're missing seven hundred and fifty dollars.

• 50:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:40Speaker 04

  We're, we're missing a lot of money.

• 50:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you just ruined your life for so little money. But anyway, that's the neighborhood I come from. But anyway, I, so I had all this leverage over him. So it was like, I was starting, it was awesome, dude. And it was kind of this un, he knew I knew. I was like, hey, man. And I never said anything. And then this guy later on would give a child pornography, not, literally not in a molestation way, in a, I'm so pathetic, I want this child to think I'm cool way. And he got fired for that. It was all, it was actually pretty, pretty hysterical stuff.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  So you were starting because you had dirt on this guy?

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly right. I had, I was blackmailing my coach as a fat fourteen year old. I was pretty good. I was, listen, I was just. Just too fat.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  No, it wasn't hard for him to start.

• 51:27Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. Look, he could figure out a way. No one was that surprised. I was on the cusp, right? It was between me and a different guy. You just, listen, you had to put me either up top or down below. I'm not running back and forth.

• 51:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  I'll score you some goals. I'll stop some goals. I was either a striker or a, you know, stopper at the end, but, but then, yes, he got kicked out and that's how I got to play football. It's just a very Rube Goldberg machine of my, you know, of my athletic career. And at the time I was like, hey, I'm going, I'm going D1. I'm going D1 because I was good at JV football in Baltimore. You know what I mean? It was so fucking stupid.

• 52:00Speaker 04

  Well, you come out of, you come out of, like, I came out of flag football in eighth grade, like, I'm, I'm among the best in the nation.

• 52:09Speaker 04

  I, I, I entered high school football, like, they, they've never seen anything like it. You know, I'm like, I can throw, I can run, I can catch.

• 52:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  What can I do? I'm, I'm playing both ways. I'm returning kicks. I got, I'm having like four or five touchdowns a game.

• 52:25Stavros Halkias?

  Dude.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  And then I get to, then I get to my high school, first time I played tackle.

• 52:30Stavros Halkias?

  And you're playing in, in where like outside of, I feel like California has some great.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  Dude, I went to Notre Dame High School, which was like, you know, we had like.

• 52:38Stavros Halkias?

  A factory.

• 52:39Speaker 04

  Um, and freshman year, I'm playing against Anthony Barr.

• 52:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Who's a running back at the time.

• 52:46Stavros Halkias?

  Insane.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  And I, and I tackled him one time, but he, I brought him down.

• 52:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  But he won.

• 52:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 04

  I brought him down like, like on top of me. And I just remember like laying there and being like, I don't want it like these guys.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  This isn't for me.

• 53:08Stavros Halkias?

  The moment where you're like, fuck that. I mean, I had that same moment when I, I literally went to the first practice, looked at them running and did not go back. And then I was like, you know what? I'll play soccer again. I was, by the way, I'd gotten so fucking fat playing two years of football. And I, I was a telemarketer next to a Wendy's. That was my summer job. I ate two junior bacon cheeseburgers every day for a summer. That's not how you should be training to get back into soccer. That's the nose tackles diet.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's.

• 53:39Stavros Halkias?

  And then I immediately. Pulled a hamstring and I was like, fuck this, I'm not playing sports.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  We did, you know those drills where you like, you turn and then one, you're trying to like, the guy's trying to get by you and you're trying to tackle him?

• 53:49Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:50Speaker 04

  And this guy Kamati just went, lowered his shoulder and just, we went bam, head to head. And I was like, I just remember being like, you're not supposed to do that.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  You're not supposed to.

• 54:02Stavros Halkias?

  Coach, he cheated.

• 54:03Speaker 04

  I was like, you're not supposed to go head to head, man. And I was like, oh wait, they don't care? It's like, we're like, we could damage our heads. And I remember I came out of that like, I was concerned, I was like, dude, you're not supposed to.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  And I was like, oh, he doesn't give a fuck.

• 54:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  And I have to also not give a fuck.

• 54:21Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  You're either the hammer or the nail, and I'm the nail here.

• 54:24Stavros Halkias?

  Nail, for sure. I got a concussed bad by like this little guy, like, we were playing, um, we were playing like, uh, maybe it was a scrimmage or some shit, I don't know, it was like, uh, we traveled to, I don't even remember where the fuck it was, but it was like the kind of thing where they, they swapped out like, you know, first team, second team, whatever. And, uh, oh, that's right, it was my, when I got called up to varsity at the end of the season, and we had like a final game and it was,

• 54:52Stavros Halkias?

  it was like not competitive, so the last quarter, they were like, alright, let's let the JV, let's let the JV kids and the shitty varsity kids kind of get a taste of real, you know, football or whatever. And I was a nose tackle, and the, the center was literally, this kid was like five one, and I was like, this kid is food, I'm gonna fuck this kid up. Immediately, this little cocksucker comes up like a rocket, just hits, head to head, hits me under the chin with his fucking helmet, I'm seeing Looney Tunes stars and shit. And I just stayed in the game, like, being like, I'm not a fucking bitch. And I have no, I have, dude, for real.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  You're just in a constant state of like mortal combat about to be KO'd.

• 55:28Stavros Halkias?

  Ten minutes, um, ten minutes, I'm, yeah, I'm like, if it was a boxing match, I'm clinching. But like. But you couldn't do that. So I was just like lining up, getting dominated by this like five one. And he was a little, it wasn't even that fat. He was just like a five one little stocky guy. And I was like, I can't even defeat this guy. I'm fucked.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  And this guy doesn't have a chance.

• 55:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude, no. But he fucked me up bad. And the, the, I love, this has become the guys remembering their pathetic, their pathetic victories in high school sports.

• 56:03Stavros Halkias?

  Brought to you and remember, folks, hit the visible hotline, the Stavies, Stavies World hotline brought to you by visible. In fact, Elvis, why don't we, why don't we take some calls before we start talking about other ways people from our childhood wronged us?

• 56:16Speaker 05

  Absolutely. And you know, this is, this is the Stavies World hotline brought to you by visible. It'd be appropriate to start with a question on the topic is very near and dear to our hearts with a man who needs a lot of help here.

• 56:28Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 56:30Speaker 02

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• 57:16Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavros World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit Sirius XM.com slash Podcast Plus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.

• 57:35Speaker 06

  Hey staff, hey elders, hey esteemed guests. Hope you're doing well. Long time, first time. Um, got a bit of a conundrum for you. Uh, it's gonna start out with a brag. Uh, I've got a lovely wife. Uh, been together for about three years.

• 57:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 57:51Speaker 06

  Uh, she's got some great natties.

• 57:54Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, congrats on your breast breasts.

• 57:56Speaker 06

  But we're expecting our first child here soon. We're at like 14 weeks.

• 58:02Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, man. Don't say my wife's got great tits, but we're expecting, but the most magical thing in the world is happening. But the whole reason humans exist, it's gonna put her tits in jeopardy. I, I assume that's what he's getting at. Let's, let's go ahead. Maybe not.

• 58:19Speaker 06

  14 weeks. Um, and what's really cool is they're getting bigger. Um, very excited. Um, but it's kind of like a bad wish on a genie here. They hurt. Um, I'm not allowed to touch them.

• 58:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 58:34Speaker 06

  Don't know what to do. I'm really excited to see them grow, but I'm not allowed to touch them. Um, so hoping to get some advice from you. What are some great ways to appreciate the growing natural while I got them, uh, without touching them?

• 58:53Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, this is awesome.

• 58:54Speaker 06

  Pretty tough, um, but also very lucky. So I'm hoping to see what you got to say.

• 58:59Stavros Halkias?

  I have answers immediately, bro.

• 59:01Speaker 06

  Love you. Bye.

• 59:01Speaker 04

  It could be a fun exercise, you know?

• 59:03Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  In, uh, in observing.

• 59:07Stavros Halkias?

  Observing. I was gonna say, get into photography. This is the, get, turn your shed into a darkroom, develop your own film. Cause this is clearly a, you've, you've gotten a visual bonus here, right? This is visual. You can't touch them, you know, uh, support her as much as you can. But yeah, I say get into charcoal etchings, oil painting. Now is your time. If there's ever- Something that would make me learn how to be a fine artist. It would be my wife's tits getting huge and me wanting to.

• 59:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:40Stavros Halkias?

  To for to.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  Or become a sculptor.

• 59:43Stavros Halkias?

  A sculptor, get some clay.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Throw down one of these.

• 59:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think that's the answer. Get into high, high, high definition photography, painting, poetry even. Like, this is awesome because this is the guy, we, this is the podcast for, obviously you, as you could tell from the very first call, uh, for very stupid people, right? Kind of imagine your characters. There's a thou, every character you've ever played, clone them 4,000 times. That's basically who's listening to this podcast, right?

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:00:13Stavros Halkias?

  So, uh, we're basically, we're, we're saying here is like, yeah, this is good. This is the way guys like us can appreciate, turn to art. This is your opportunity to understand art. You thought poems were gay until now? What about poems about how awesome and juicy your wife's breasts are? So I think this is a, a, a perfect moment for you to open up your horizons. This is your entry point into understanding the world of nat, the world of natural beauty. Some people see it in a sunset, some people see it, you know, uh, some people see it in, you know, uh, uh, a beautiful fragrant, right? Maybe you're walking by a pie shop and you smell delicious crust, right?

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  You float.

• 1:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  You float over. You float over, you have some, you have a cherry tart. Uh, but for you, my friend, this is your entry point into understanding true beauty existing, and I think that's, that's actually wonderful.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, and, and like you said, the poems, you know? That's a nice poem, you know, you're, you're yearning for something.

• 1:01:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:11Speaker 04

  That you can't have.

• 1:01:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  That's, that's a poem right there.

• 1:01:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's actually really nice because this is on, you get to experience unrequited love with the person you love the most in the world. Because eventually you will get to touch her breasts again. But for now, absence makes the heart grow fonder. And you get to look at them and appreciate them from a purely aesthetic position.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  And then this is. Different, but would would she maybe let him just?

• 1:01:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:01:39Speaker 04

  Just hold them?

• 1:01:40Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  Take some of the pressure off?

• 1:01:42Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Go behind in a non-sexual way, lift the titties up.

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  Just a little lift?

• 1:01:47Stavros Halkias?

  Just a slight lift and don't get greedy.

• 1:01:49Speaker 04

  Don't get greedy.

• 1:01:50Stavros Halkias?

  Because now you're gonna wanna grab.

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  Just take.

• 1:01:53Stavros Halkias?

  She needs a lift.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  Just take some of the weight off.

• 1:01:55Stavros Halkias?

  Take some of the weight off. You're only there to support her and that's beautiful, by the way. Yeah, there's so much here. Maybe you could invent a sort of a hammock for her breasts. You know, when you're not there, something to lift them up.

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  You're just talking about a bra, dude.

• 1:02:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but you know.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  You're like, what if? We invented it? A breast hammock. Two breast hammocks. They lift, they hold and play it.

• 1:02:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think we're on to something.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  I think we're on to something big, man.

• 1:02:23Stavros Halkias?

  The breast hammock?

• 1:02:26Stavros Halkias?

  So, hey, man, good for you. We're really happy, you know, and and good luck on the baby as well. And there's another part of your life you should be thinking about is the child that's about to come out of your wife.

• 1:02:40Stavros Halkias?

  What else we got, Little Elsie?

• 1:02:41Speaker 04

  What else we got?

• 1:02:43Stavros Halkias?

  Hi, Stavi. Hi, guest. Hi, Elvis. My question is about work-life balance and whether we are being smart or stupid. I'm a nurse and I work weekend nights, Friday, Saturday night, 7:00 PM until 7:00 AM. And my partner works for a really big financial company. And his schedule right now is Saturday through Monday, 12-hour shifts. He has a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter and this weird schedule has honestly worked really well for us. She's luckily never had to go to daycare because where we live, I. He works Saturday, Sunday, Monday, 12 hours. Got you.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  Wait, he works Saturday to Sunday?

• 1:03:22Stavros Halkias?

  Saturday, Sunday, Monday, 12-hour shifts and she works night shift Saturday, Sunday, right?

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:03:27Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. She's luckily never had to go to daycare because where we live, I. The cost of daycare is literally more than our mortgage. And my parents are super great and they help watch her on the weekends, which we love, she loves.

• 1:03:43Stavros Halkias?

  And then during the week, we get a lot of family time together. We do little state park trips, random vacations, even like impulse a flight somewhere for a couple of days and we send. A lot of time together as a family and I feel really, really grateful for that. But he just got offered a new job to make more money, more career growth, and then a more like normal corporate trajectory. And I'm torn because part of me is like, this is the smarter, long-term move. But the other part is like, our daughter's only little once. Um, we're kind of in the school of thought of like, once is enough. We have our child and she is perfect and we are very happy. Um, we don't plan to have more kids.

• 1:04:16Stavros Halkias?

  An only child whose mother calls her perfect. Sounds like somebody who's definitely not going to be annoying when she grows up. Imagine being a kid whose parents take you on trips. You're a perfect little angel. We don't need anything else. I just, maybe don't have another kid, but let her, let her have cousins or something. She's got to know that, you know, she's not a little, that everything's not. I worry about only children.

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  I missed, I missed some of that.

• 1:04:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry. So basically her, it's not done. I'm just kind of popping into shit on her a little bit. Uh, and just as a fair warning, don't call, don't let your kid think it's perfect. You know what I mean? Only children can be real tough, but not you guys. You guys are the exception.

• 1:04:56Stavros Halkias?

  Is there more, there's more. Basically, what, basically what she's wondering so far is that her husb- they work these weird weekends where they work like.

• 1:05:03Speaker 04

  Opposite, opposite hours.

• 1:05:04Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, they all work, they both work. Basically, they work full work weeks during the weekend. She's on overnights, he's on 12-hour shifts. And there, her parents watch their daughter during the weekends. And so that means they have a full weeks to hang out with their kid. She's saying this setup's awesome, but her husband was offered a better job or a promotion, which means regular hours. And I think she's torn. Is there any, any more context, Elvis?

• 1:05:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'll let it keep going.

• 1:05:32Stavros Halkias?

  We are very happy. Um, we don't plan to have more kids. And I know we're never going to get the space back where we have all this random weekday time off together and she's home with us instead of daycare. Ideally, we've talked about, you know, I'd stop working weekend nights and she'd start daycare around three and we'd have more no, normal schedules. And I, you know, maybe be able to regain some sanity and sleep. But I'm really struggling whether we should prioritize maximizing income and career momentum or protect this like a really unique family setup while we still can. So basically my question is, how do you know when it's time? To stop optimizing for time and start optimizing for money and career growth. Um, thank you, and I really hope you answer this, and I hope your elbow feels better. Thank you. I appreciate that. Sorry, I said your kid was gonna be a piece of shit.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  Quick sidebar.

• 1:06:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:20Speaker 04

  I'm new, you know, to the, to the call-ins.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, anything you need.

• 1:06:24Speaker 04

  So, so they're, they're dealing with what seems to be, you know, a pretty serious like decision.

• 1:06:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  And they call you.

• 1:06:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's right. I love this moment that dawns on every guest about two or three calls in.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  And

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  your advice here.

• 1:06:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, could change the course of their lives.

• 1:06:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. And by the way, folks, I'm not legally responsible for anything that happens. This is a purely joke show.

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  But I'm curious, like, did they like go back and forth and, and they like get to a point and they're like, we're at an impasse?

• 1:07:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Speaker 04

  Call, call.

• 1:07:01Stavros Halkias?

  We need to call the wisest man we know. And that's what this show is. That's right. That's right.

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  And she's like, should we just?

• 1:07:10Stavros Halkias?

  Should we just?

• 1:07:10Speaker 04

  And you're like, just call.

• 1:07:11Stavros Halkias?

  Just, just hit the button. Push the Stavie's World button. Push the Stavie's World hotline brought to you by Visible button.

• 1:07:17Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:17Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so I think, here's, here's my take on this. I think a very, a, a time that makes sense, there will be a time that makes sense, when your daughter's in school. If she's two or three right now.

• 1:07:32Speaker 04

  Do we know how old she is?

• 1:07:33Stavros Halkias?

  She said she's two or three, right? Didn't she? All this? Two, I think?

• 1:07:36Speaker 05

  Uh, fuck, did she say? I don't know. But yeah, she's young.

• 1:07:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, good. Fuck, fucking dumbass. Just look what the fucking thing said while we talked. Anyway, she's two, uh, she, your kid's a toddler right now. I think there's a clear moment when you make this switch. It's when she goes to preschool, she goes to kindergarten or first grade where it's like, where your kid, someone is, takes care of your kid during the days. Cause right now she's saying, we'll put her into daycare until three, right? And look, I know the, the thing for career momentum, all this shit, but if you guys are doing well right now, and your husband is talented and you know, obviously it feels in the moment like if you don't take a career opportunity,

• 1:08:21Stavros Halkias?

  you're fucked. And I know, I mean, that's, that's what this fucking industry feels like. I mean, I feel like I'm literally killing myself to, you know, play a scum. Right now, I had to play a Glenn Powell scumbag agent with a broken arm instead of recuperating, instead of doing PT. I was risking having the mobility in my left arm ever come back to do, you know, a Judd Apatow movie. So I know what it's like to sacrifice dumb bullshit for your career. But I think, I think they have the fucking dream. Like, being able to go and like take trips and spend time with your little ass kid. Eventually, somebody else is gonna teach her unless you wanna really pour on the freak juice and make her a homeschooled only child.

• 1:09:03Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you're gonna send her to school, that's when you change. And then, and then it actually would make sense for you to switch your hours to align with hers. But right now, I think the, the striving for more and wanting more and more and more, that's what's fucking killing us. That's what's destroying this country. And like, don't, you would be doing a rebellion against American greed and helping your family. Your husband would be making a really principled stand that I would personally really respect if he put his child ahead of, you know, career momentum for just a couple of years. We're not saying never get a promotion. We're just saying, that's what I would do if I was them anyway. Um, like, I'm trying to build up my life to,

• 1:09:48Stavros Halkias?

  like, I feel like I've worked too much and I haven't put any like personal shit in there. So if I was them, you have the more important shit. The more important shit is spending time with your kid and actually being able to, now it would be different if you were barely making ends meet, right? But it sounds like you're doing okay right now. So that's what I would do. Cause you're right, the most finite thing in this equation is you, being with your toddler. That's the shit that you can never get back. You can get back fucking, you know, Working at Goldman Sachs or whatever fucking scumbag, because he's, he's working for a big corporation, a big finance corporation.

• 1:10:22Speaker 04

  Wait, are they not both nurses?

• 1:10:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, she's a nurse and he works in finance. So that's the other thing. By, by not taking a better job in finance, you're actually also helping the world. Cause not, finance does nothing but loot, you know, money from actual hardworking people. I mean, that's, that's the fakest fucking job of all time. And if he's in fucking, if he's in fucking, what's it called? Like, private equity, everyone in private equity should be bleep it out, but they destroy everything they put their fucking hands on. So that's my, my thing is, on one hand, you get a beautiful couple of years with your child that you can never get back. On the other hand, it's, should I sacrifice that to make my husband's bosses more money?

• 1:11:08Stavros Halkias?

  And you more money as a result, I guess, but to me, this is kind of clear. You gotta fucking invest in your family while you still, while you can right now. And then when your kid goes into, has normal hours, I say fucking, you know, switch it up then. James, what do you say?

• 1:11:26Speaker 04

  I just say the complete opposite of that. And make a really impassioned, like long counter argument. And just leave her just like, fuck.

• 1:11:36Stavros Halkias?

  We weirdly turn into smart guys on this topic. We just start doing statistics at each other.

• 1:11:41Speaker 04

  I just come back at you and then just, we just leave her again, at a neutral decision. I'll just, I'll just say, I'll just say yes to that.

• 1:11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't wanna, I don't wanna overcomplicate this.

• 1:11:51Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. Like, I feel like if I was in that position, I don't know, if you were in the position where you're like, oh, I can have this like really awesome job opportunity, that maybe I won't get this exact one, but maybe in a couple of years I can do something similar. Or I can spend, you know, let's say you have a kid and, and like, I can spend, when she's three and four, I can spend every day with her. I think that's an easy decision personally.

• 1:12:13Speaker 04

  My only thing where I'd be like, maybe that's a interesting variable is uh, if he would no longer be working on the weekends and then he would be able to like move some of the time. Hang out during on the weekends when he previously wasn't able to. That would help.

• 1:12:31Stavros Halkias?

  But that's what I'm saying is that like, I think right now, yeah, they would totally shift their shit up. But it's like, right now they get to hang out with their kid like five days a week versus, or four days a week versus three. I just think like, they have a cool setup right now and there's a, I think they would do that when, I think it makes more sense to do that when your kid is in school. And also you don't have to pay for daycare, by the way. That's another thing we didn't discuss.

• 1:12:53Speaker 04

  You just gotta switch it up when it gets to the point where, okay, you're spending too much time.

• 1:12:57Stavros Halkias?

  When you're annoyed, it's like, I don't wanna fucking do blocks, man. Can we do something else? Can you be into hula hooping or some bullshit?

• 1:13:06Speaker 04

  I wanna miss you.

• 1:13:09Stavros Halkias?

  My fucking daughter's so clingy, dude.

• 1:13:13Stavros Halkias?

  My nephew dude, he's at this stage, I have a one and a half year old nephew. And he's just understanding shit. Like he's just stopped being a complete baby. He's still a fucking baby, but now he has preferences. And anytime somebody comes over, now he's scared that if it's my mom, my, me or my brother, that we're babysitting him and his parents are gonna leave. And he just goes, no, don't. He'll, he'll go, don't. He'll be like, don't. He'll, he'll wave his finger. He'll be like, don't. It's like, you're a fucking baby, dude. You have no, and I like to let him understand that your parents might say, let you do whatever you want. Uncle Stav is gonna let you know you're a fucking baby.

• 1:13:51Speaker 04

  No, it's important to say no.

• 1:13:55Stavros Halkias?

  I'm here to bully you. I'm here to toss you into a couch and powerbomb.

• 1:13:59Speaker 04

  I'm gonna say no to everything you're asking me to do. No.

• 1:14:03Stavros Halkias?

  Cause, cause no one in your life does. But anyway, so yeah, those are, I felt pretty impassioned about this one. And again, when you think about how much you're saving on not doing daycare. And look, if your husband's gonna lose this opportunity forever, that's a different thing, but that's never the case. Believe me, I've fucking, I started passing on shit and it's been fine. Like other shit comes around, you'll be okay.

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  I feel like, I feel like whenever you have like a very cushy setup like they do, I mean, it's like unheard of for parents to like be able to get by working on the weekends and having the majority of the week to just hang out with their kids.

• 1:14:40Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:14:40Speaker 05

  That's like a sweet setup. And I also feel like whenever you do have a setup like that, like sooner or later that will come to an end. Something's gonna happen every time, like even if it'll take like a few years. So that's like another reason.

• 1:14:54Stavros Halkias?

  Totally enjoy it while you can. And switch it up when she's in fucking school and you don't have to pay for it. All right. Next question.

• 1:15:02Speaker 06

  What's up, Starve Elvis, esteemed guest. I'm trying to see if and how I can, you know, hook up with this hottest MILF that's in my hometown. I'm 21.

• 1:15:14Speaker 05

  A little more R speed, huh Jimmy?

• 1:15:21Speaker 05

  See dude, you complained about these being too heavy questions and Elvis fucking figured it out.

• 1:15:29Speaker 06

  College, kind of a nerd, do engineer. One, I go to college MILF that's in my hometown. I'm 21, I go to college, kind of a nerd, do engineering, have some good friends, but haven't fucked yet. Have dated girls, just anyway, it just hasn't happened.

• 1:15:48Speaker 04

  He's awesome. He's definitely 21.

• 1:15:50Speaker 05

  He's 21. This guy's fucking awesome.

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  I realized that guys our age don't say MILF anymore because we're talking about women our age.

• 1:15:58Speaker 05

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  I had a really crazy realization when I was like, oh wait, MILFs are just women our age, but with kids.

• 1:16:06Speaker 05

  Wait, MILFs are people?

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  I remember being like in college, like, like someone said, yeah, I hooked up with like a 35 year old. And I was, and I'm like, oh no, we're MILF age.

• 1:16:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and we have nothing to show for it.

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  We are MILF aged men.

• 1:16:25Speaker 05

  Men of a certain MILF age.

• 1:16:29Stavros Halkias?

  MILF aged men is a really funny way to put middle aged.

• 1:16:34Stavros Halkias?

  Early, middle aged. Yeah, we're MILF aged.

• 1:16:37Speaker 04

  I'm a MILF aged man.

• 1:16:38Stavros Halkias?

  That sounds better than early, middle aged, honestly, is MILF aged men.

• 1:16:44Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, so we, I love this kid because he's, first of all, I hear the go getter in his voice, right? Hasn't fucked yet, shooting for the moon. He's like, how do I, I'm skipping a couple of steps, I'm getting right to MILF. I'm making up for lost time, but let's hear the rest of this.

• 1:17:01Speaker 06

  Anyway, um, so I'm home for the summer. Uh, I knew this woman from like going to church, playing in the church band. She led it, but we both kind of, she quit that job and I don't go to church anymore because, you know, they're homophobic kind of pieces of trash. Anyway, um, but I saw her around and we were chatting, you know, about her kids, college, whatever. And then she was like, you're 21 now, right? And I was like, I am. And she's like, well, I gotta buy you a drink. Do a real catch up. And I was like, absolutely, that sounds rad.

• 1:17:33Stavros Halkias?

  He just nuts in his pants every time he tries to get up and go. Every time they've had a date, he just puts on his jeans, he's like, oh, fuck. Uh, I can't make it tonight. Keep going.

• 1:17:43Speaker 06

  And, um, and then she was like, or may, you know, get your mom there too, hang out. And then I was like, is she like, hinting that she wants to get a drink with me? And then, you know, kind of safety backing it up by mentioning my mom. Does she actually want to hang out, but doesn't want to give me the wrong ideas, so she's mentioning my mom? Um, anyway, do I text her and be like, let's go get a drink? I don't, you know, I don't know. I feel like I'm good at talking to people, but just kind of a coward.

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  You definitely are a coward, I can tell.

• 1:18:14Speaker 06

  Anyway, but she's got big ol' titties, she's really pretty, she got a big ol' ass, very sweet, very fun. Uh, been divorced like two years now, which is, uh, anyway, it could be a lot of fluff if we fucked. And just whatever guidance from here would be awesome.

• 1:18:30Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck, this kid is incredible.

• 1:18:32Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 1:18:34Stavros Halkias?

  This is the audacity of youth.

• 1:18:36Speaker 04

  I know, I was gonna say, I would say your biggest obstacle

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  is you just seem so young.

• 1:18:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:44Speaker 04

  And, and I think that would be the thing that gets in the way a little bit.

• 1:18:48Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:18:48Speaker 04

  Is, uh, the way, the way you're talking, you're clearly 21 years old. And that might be a bit of a turn off.

• 1:18:55Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. You, your only chance here is that shit's going kinda bad for her. Right? And that she wants to sort of act out.

• 1:19:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:04Stavros Halkias?

  The only, the only chance you have is that she, she says she's two years post divorce. Might be a little late for this. This is more, you might be able to catch the tail end of it. This is more immediate divorced situation. Where it's like, you've got someone who, and I don't know, I'm purely speculating. But if she was divorced, she used to go to the church and she isn't. Maybe she's somebody who got married too young. Didn't get to have her youth, right? The only, your only shot is that she wa, she's like interested in sort of, you know, kind of reclaiming a little bit of youth here. Now, the problem is, if that's the case, she probably wants to fuck a cool 22 year old. Not a fucking dork like you. So what you have to do is just purely endear yourself. Here's a lesson you have to have overall.

• 1:19:50Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, and I, I know this is gonna be really hard for you to hear as maybe the horniest guy in the world. Right? Cause I remember what it was like to be, you know, 21 and desperately want to get pussy. Uh, your desperation is the worst thing that you have going for you. You're probably a nice guy, you're probably, are you that interesting? I don't know, you're a child, you're 21, you don't have much to talk to her about.

• 1:20:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:10Stavros Halkias?

  But if you can just be nice and endearing and by, and the overall lesson is uh, just sort of like make connections with people without expecting anything in return.

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:22Stavros Halkias?

  That will, cause I remember being like 21 and being like, okay. And looking at like dating as like a video game where it's like, if I unlock enough achievements, I will get pussy. You know what I mean? Where it's like, well, she will have, if I hang out four times and I buy her eight drinks. You know what I mean? Like, thinking like it's math. And it's like, but the reality is being a good person who's nice and fun to talk to. Just go out for a drink with this lady expecting nothing. Use it as like, as training for talking to a woman you're very attracted to. Because the odds of you fucking this woman, I'm gonna be honest with you, very slim.

• 1:20:55Speaker 04

  Very slim.

• 1:20:55Stavros Halkias?

  Very, very slim.

• 1:20:57Speaker 04

  The best thing he could do probably would be to not appear to be too interested.

• 1:21:03Stavros Halkias?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:21:04Speaker 04

  But just be, be a genuine guy.

• 1:21:10Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:21:11Speaker 04

  And it would help too, if maybe he seemed pretty occupied with something else.

• 1:21:18Stavros Halkias?

  His studies, his college.

• 1:21:20Speaker 04

  Another girl.

• 1:21:21Stavros Halkias?

  Another girl, yeah, sure, sure.

• 1:21:23Speaker 04

  So she's like, oh, does he think he's too good for me?

• 1:21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:29Speaker 04

  You know?

• 1:21:30Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:21:30Speaker 04

  And then he's, but all he's doing is just being a nice guy.

• 1:21:33Stavros Halkias?

  I, I think what you do is, and by the way, we're not telling you to pretend to be a nice guy, okay? You're not, first of all, that's bad advice. Second of all, you're not capable of manipulating a beautiful woman. You're just, you don't have the juice.

• 1:21:44Speaker 04

  No, you have to just be genuine.

• 1:21:46Stavros Halkias?

  You actually, and I think you are a nice guy. That's what you have going for you. And so I think what you do here is because, you're right, you're right. I seem like, just be interested, be a nice guy. And here's the thing. Ask her, you know, you have this music connection. Talk about, you know, hey, are you performing anywhere now that you're not leading the church? Talk about, if you both left the church, maybe that's some, you know, you're like, oh, what did you, whatever.

• 1:22:08Speaker 04

  And don't say the word MILF.

• 1:22:10Stavros Halkias?

  Don't say the word MILF.

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  Say the word MILF, that ages you down, maybe you drop 15 years lower.

• 1:22:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:22:17Speaker 04

  She doesn't, she doesn't wanna be called a MILF.

• 1:22:19Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. Well, who knows?

• 1:22:21Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:22:22Stavros Halkias?

  Probably not.

• 1:22:22Speaker 04

  I think MILF is.

• 1:22:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's over?

• 1:22:25Speaker 04

  Maybe if you're like, you know.

• 1:22:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's become a porn category, you're right.

• 1:22:29Speaker 04

  Well, but also like, how I guess, how, I don't know how old, maybe if you're like. In your 50s, it's cool to be called a nun.

• 1:22:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:22:36Speaker 04

  But if you're like in your 30s.

• 1:22:37Stavros Halkias?

  True, true, true.

• 1:22:38Speaker 04

  You don't want to be called a nun.

• 1:22:38Stavros Halkias?

  You just want to be, you're right. Especially if you're like divorced and you're just trying to get, you're just kind of trying to Stella, get her groove back. But by the way, Stella gets her groove back. She fucks Tay Diggs. She doesn't fuck some 21 year old engineer, right? So it's like, but again, use this. I will say this. Avoid your mother being involved in this at all costs. All right? You don't want to hang out with your mom and this lady. But if at the, if what you get out of this is a friendship with a beautiful woman who's older than you, that's a big win for you. Because that's like a lot of, a lot of my fellow, you know, and part of the, the, the part of this, the reason for this program is to try and convert incels, get them out of this as a former incel myself.

• 1:23:21Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I try and say if, you know, I'm fat as shit. I'm 5'7", I'm bald, right? I figured out how to live a wonderful, fulfilling life. You can too. And that's what I'm trying to get, that's what I'm trying to tell this guy is like, the second you stop thinking of it as like every interaction with a woman is desperately trying to get laid and you just genuinely make female friends, genuinely see girls as people. That will help you develop as a human being. And yeah, if you have women friends, they might set you up with their, their, or like this lady, you know, go into this, try literally as practice for talking to a woman you really want to fuck and not blowing it. Cause you're not, look at it as I'm, I'm not going to smash. Just look at it, there's something freeing in that.

• 1:24:06Stavros Halkias?

  And then say, let's go out for a drink. Let's talk to her. Let me try and get her. If you get this woman to take you seriously as an adult and not as like Martha's son, that's a victory. If you forge a real relationship, and by the way, you never know. You're, you're putting the ball in play at the very least.

• 1:24:25Speaker 04

  You never know, but I, I like your, I like your idea about put it out of your head.

• 1:24:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's out, it's not gonna happen.

• 1:24:29Speaker 04

  It's not gonna happen.

• 1:24:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's not gonna happen. But this is still a valuable friendship for you to have. And it's like good prac, it's kind of like harmless practice for talking to a girl you're attracted to.

• 1:24:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause then she'll, you'll say things to her, she'll roll her eyes.

• 1:24:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:24:44Speaker 04

  You'll realize the things that you're doing that may be immature, that maybe you weren't realizing.

• 1:24:49Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:24:50Speaker 04

  And that'll be a good learning experience.

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  Good learning experience. And it's a good experience for you being actually interested, because right now you're purely horny for this woman.

• 1:24:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:59Stavros Halkias?

  This is a good opportunity for you to practice asking a woman about her life. You know what I mean? Like, ask her what's been going on. Like, don't look at it as like, let's trick a hot lady into sleeping with me. Look at it as like getting to know a person who, yes, I'm attracted to and would love to have a romantic relationship of some kind with. But like, these will be valuable skills for you when you go back to college. Let's say you don't hook up and you just get a couple of drinks, form a friendship with somebody. Now, you've talked to, you know, you've spent, you're, you're more comfortable around beautiful women than you were before this summer.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 1:25:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I would tell you, my friend. And look, if some incredible, you know, you hit some kind of sexual lottery and she takes pity on you and jerks you off once, that's the craziest victory of all time. But just coming out of this with a, a new friend who makes you more comfortable around hot girls, that's what you want, buddy.

• 1:25:55Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 1:25:56Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta get rid of that desperation. I know that's tough to say, but that is what's leaking through. I could feel it.

• 1:26:02Speaker 05

  I feel like he said something interesting. He said, oh, you're 21 now? Let me buy you a drink. And he said his response was, oh, absolutely. That sounds rad. I wonder like how excited he got.

• 1:26:12Stavros Halkias?

  He was like, yes, can we go right now? Raspberry vodka with Sprite, please? Could you pour some simple syrup in it as well?

• 1:26:21Speaker 04

  Vodka orange soda, please?

• 1:26:24Stavros Halkias?

  Do you serve brass monkey here?

• 1:26:29Speaker 04

  I'm getting crazy doing some Jägerbombs, her and I.

• 1:26:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do some Jägerbombs. Oh, cool. Yeah, I'll make some jungle juice.

• 1:26:35Speaker 04

  Jägerbombs, please.

• 1:26:37Stavros Halkias?

  And for the lady, a jungle juice. And for the lady, Crystal Light with Popov's vodka.

• 1:26:46Speaker 05

  Man, I feel like it could have been something as small as that, that made her immediately be like, or yeah, maybe we'll go with your mom. And she's just like, what the fuck?

• 1:26:57Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right, Eldis. You might be like, yes. So, yeah, yeah, me, you and your mom will get us. And it's White Ziffing Day at 3:00 PM.

• 1:27:04Speaker 04

  She's, you know, more mature. I think she might want something nice, like Cristal. Maybe some hypnotic.

• 1:27:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hypnotic. Let's do the incredible, an Incredible Hulk for the, for the lady.

• 1:27:20Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, good luck, buddy. That's it's a very cute call.

• 1:27:25Stavros Halkias?

  We got something else, LD, as we're wrapped. And by the way, anything specific you want to plug here, my friend? Sorry, we should have done it at the midway point, but we're just so wrapped up. No.

• 1:27:35Speaker 04

  I mean, I, I am, I have a show coming out.

• 1:27:38Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:27:39Speaker 04

  Called The Hawk on Netflix.

• 1:27:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, yeah, dude. That's awesome. Will Ferrell.

• 1:27:44Speaker 04

  What was that?

• 1:27:45Stavros Halkias?

  Will Ferrell.

• 1:27:45Speaker 04

  Will Ferrell.

• 1:27:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:27:46Speaker 04

  Molly Shannon.

• 1:27:47Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, the goats.

• 1:27:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:50Stavros Halkias?

  Are you kidding me, bro? On screen with the fucking, fucking, uh, uh, what the fuck was, uh, what was her character? We watched.

• 1:27:59Speaker 04

  I forget the name.

• 1:28:00Speaker 05

  Superstar.

• 1:28:01Stavros Halkias?

  We watched the movie, by the way.

• 1:28:03Speaker 04

  She's great.

• 1:28:03Stavros Halkias?

  She's incredible. One of the best of, truly, like, she was so good in the other two, uh, as their mom. You ever see that? That shit is fucking awesome.

• 1:28:11Speaker 04

  I gotta re-watch the other two. I started watching it. It was like on the other day and I just like started watching. I saw it so long ago, but that movie is so funny.

• 1:28:20Stavros Halkias?

  She's so good. Molly Shannon is fucking incredible. But anyway, that's fucking awesome, dude. Check out The Hawk.

• 1:28:26Speaker 04

  We play pro golfers.

• 1:28:27Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  And, um, yeah, I play Will's son.

• 1:28:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 1:28:33Speaker 04

  And I'm a, I'm a professional golfer who's like starting to make a name for himself. And he is like on the, like, the amateur tour or not the, he's not on the PGA tour. He's trying to claw his way back.

• 1:28:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, but he was.

• 1:28:48Speaker 04

  He was. He was the man back in the day.

• 1:28:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yes. It's Tiger Woods.

• 1:28:52Speaker 04

  And now his son is starting to be the man.

• 1:28:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:54Speaker 04

  And.

• 1:28:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're basically playing Charlie Woods, basically a version of Tiger's son. Have you seen him?

• 1:29:00Speaker 04

  Oh, no. I've seen his swing.

• 1:29:02Stavros Halkias?

  He's fucking nice.

• 1:29:03Speaker 04

  He looks good. And their mannerisms are all like the same and stuff.

• 1:29:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's when you're like, look, sometimes nepo babies just inherit the talent. Some, yeah, sometimes they're untalented pieces of shit who, who, you know, their uncle gets them a job. But sometimes, yes, maybe Tiger Woods' son might be fucking awesome at golf and maybe, you know.

• 1:29:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe like growing up with the best golfer of all time also makes you a pretty good golfer.

• 1:29:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:26Speaker 04

  As is the case with like every profession.

• 1:29:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:31Speaker 04

  Um, but yeah.

• 1:29:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, dude.

• 1:29:32Speaker 04

  And then, yeah, he starts to make a comeback. Um.

• 1:29:37Speaker 04

  And he's like sets off on a mission to reclaim his glory and make sure that he is always known as the most talented Hawkins.

• 1:29:47Stavros Halkias?

  I fucking love that.

• 1:29:48Speaker 04

  I'm Lance Hawkins, he's Lonnie Hawkins.

• 1:29:50Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck yeah, dude.

• 1:29:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, so it's fun. It's very funny. Um, just like, uh, yeah, it's a fun comedy show. A lot of the same people from like Eastbound and Down worked on it.

• 1:30:02Stavros Halkias?

  Best dude, I love, yeah.

• 1:30:04Speaker 04

  David Gordon Green directed like four of the episodes.

• 1:30:07Stavros Halkias?

  This is all, this is gonna be so fucking good.

• 1:30:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's great.

• 1:30:10Stavros Halkias?

  Check that shit out. That's a Netflix show?

• 1:30:11Speaker 04

  Netflix show, July 16.

• 1:30:14Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh babe, this might come out right around that time. Uh, so check out The Hawk. And, uh, Eldis, you got one or two more questions for us here? We're wrapping up here, buddy.

• 1:30:22Speaker 06

  Hey, Stav, eldest esteemed guest. Uh, keep it quick and I hope this is on the regular. I'm setting up the Patreon. Times are tough out here. Anyway, um, we're in a small company. I'm the office manager. We have a warehouse manager and I don't know how to approach the fact that the warehouse manager doesn't wash his hands after he takes a shit in the morning. I feel like.

• 1:30:49Stavros Halkias?

  Bro, I mean, what you just worked? Yeah, that's gonna happen, bro. I'm sorry. But keep going, keep going.

• 1:30:56Speaker 06

  Hard to bust somebody on that, you know, it's like a one person bathroom. Like, you know, I, you know, if I approach the boss saying, hey, man, I don't think he washes his hands, like, how do I prove it? It seems like a tough, tough one to tackle. Um, I feel like I'm being kind of like an office snitch if I, you know, waited outside the bathroom. It just seems like an invasion of privacy.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  You just gotta tell them.

• 1:31:22Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, but how, this is an interesting, how you like, hey, man, I've been, I've had my fucking glass, uh, to my. Ear on the door and I never hear the sink go off when you're shitting. I hear those fucking, I hear those breakfast burrito farts, but I don't hear any fucking running water.

• 1:31:38Speaker 04

  I think you started off with a question, you know? He leaves the room, if you're ever near the bathroom when he exits, you just hit him with a little, you wash your hands? You know, start there. Start by posing the question, yo, you wash your hands? And if he's like, no, be like, dude, you gotta wash your hands.

• 1:31:57Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, is he, did he say, he said, who's this guy not washing his hands? The warehouse manager?

• 1:32:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Bro.

• 1:32:03Speaker 04

  Is he above him?

• 1:32:04Stavros Halkias?

  No, but the guy works in a fucking warehouse. I've worked at a warehouse, these people are animals, dude, they're not gonna, this guy's not wa- You're telling me a guy who works at a warehouse, the office manager? Who is, you know, just, that's a way, it's like, you know, that's, they don't respect the guy who has to order the toilet paper, the soap he's not using. This guy's job is just like, he's not gonna listen to, and he's probably younger, this guy's probably, he's the warehouse manager, right?

• 1:32:29Speaker 05

  The guy who isn't washing his hands is a warehouse manager, and this guy's the office manager.

• 1:32:33Stavros Halkias?

  So we're talking about some fucking old guy that's been working in a warehouse for thirty years? And now a guy who, he just started working there? Did he say? I'm just telling you, this is not as simple as you think it is.

• 1:32:47Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:32:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, man.

• 1:32:48Speaker 04

  I feel like even just bringing it up, I mean, I guess I can't imagine that, cause I'm, I wash my hands. Like, all, like, everything I do.

• 1:32:57Speaker 05

  Pussy.

• 1:32:59Speaker 04

  I get a little thing, wash my hands, a little thing, wash my hands. I wash my hands like fucking twenty times a day.

• 1:33:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:33:04Speaker 04

  So I can't imagine taking the shit and not washing my hands.

• 1:33:07Stavros Halkias?

  That's foul. Look, I'm not gonna sit here and say, I'm a, uh, I'm a strict hand washer. I'm not gonna, but, I wash my hands after shit. Look, I'm not, I'll be honest with you, most pisses I'm not washing.

• 1:33:20Speaker 04

  I mean, no, I wash my hands before I pee.

• 1:33:22Stavros Halkias?

  Before, respect. Wow, you might have converted me with that.

• 1:33:27Speaker 04

  Your dick's not dirty.

• 1:33:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point.

• 1:33:29Speaker 04

  You know, you go in there, your ha, if your hands are dirty.

• 1:33:31Stavros Halkias?

  My dick.

• 1:33:32Speaker 04

  You dirty your dick, and then you wash your hands after, it's like, what's the point of that?

• 1:33:35Stavros Halkias?

  You're a genius.

• 1:33:36Speaker 04

  The only thing-

• 1:33:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:33:38Speaker 04

  That doesn't look good sometimes, is if you wash your hands first, and then you pee, and then new people enter the bathroom, and then you leave. They might go, that guy didn't wash his hands, not knowing.

• 1:33:50Stavros Halkias?

  I'm free of that judgment, though.

• 1:33:53Speaker 04

  God, I don't worry about it.

• 1:33:53Stavros Halkias?

  I live my life in a way where that doesn't affect me.

• 1:33:56Speaker 04

  So, yeah, I start.

• 1:33:57Stavros Halkias?

  But if piss gets on my hands, I'm washing my hands.

• 1:33:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, but.

• 1:34:00Stavros Halkias?

  It won't have to be a real problem.

• 1:34:02Speaker 04

  You know, we're in our 30s, we're better at.

• 1:34:05Stavros Halkias?

  I've been holding my penis for, yeah, years now.

• 1:34:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:34:08Stavros Halkias?

  And so you're right, but I, I just don't think this, having worked with warehouse guys and in a machine shop and my dad's a contractor. These are the type of guys that really, A, would they, it's not even that he cares about washing, he doesn't. Here's the problem, it's not the sanit- sanitation issue. This guy will see it as he's being challenged by a younger man he doesn't respect. So whatever it is, he'd be like, fuck you, who the fuck are you to tell, I'm, I'll wash my fucking hands if I, I don't, if I don't want to, I won't. I promise you that's how this guy would, anyway, that's who I'm imagining.

• 1:34:43Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:34:44Stavros Halkias?

  Let's keep going.

• 1:34:45Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I have another potential solution, too.

• 1:34:47Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:34:47Speaker 06

  And then if I kind of accuse him of it, knowing, like, you know, then he'd be like, probably wondering how I figured that out. But, I mean, if it's simple as walking by the bathroom and then not hearing him fucking use the sink after he takes a shit in the morning. We worked together long enough, so like, I don't know. And I kind of got like a little OCD, so it bothers me a lot, so I don't know. Any advice is great advice. Thanks, Dob. Love the pod.

• 1:35:12Stavros Halkias?

  I, I have something too, but go ahead.

• 1:35:13Speaker 04

  I have an idea, if there's ever a situation where they're all kind of talking. And he is able to naturally slip in a story where someone doesn't wash their hands after taking a shit and how gross that is.

• 1:35:29Stavros Halkias?

  Gotti coli.

• 1:35:30Speaker 04

  You know, you're like, you're like, yeah, this guy I know, didn't wash his hands.

• 1:35:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:35:36Speaker 04

  This negative thing happened.

• 1:35:37Stavros Halkias?

  He got pink eye.

• 1:35:38Speaker 04

  Also, fucking disgusting. Can you imagine?

• 1:35:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:35:41Speaker 04

  To the guy, can you imagine?

• 1:35:43Stavros Halkias?

  But here's what the guy does, yeah, fucking gross, just keeps not washing his hands. Cause here's the thing, like, if you accuse him, you have no proof, it's like, yes, I do, yes, I did. What do you do then? If somebody says, yes, I did wash my hands, when you know they're lying, you have no recourse.

• 1:35:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:35:58Stavros Halkias?

  And then here's, here's my idea. Shut, you're the office manager, shut the water off one day, right? Just the spigot, right before this guy's about to shit, shut the water off.

• 1:36:09Speaker 04

  But then he can't flush.

• 1:36:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's why I'm saying, I think there's a spigot under the sink. You don't cut the water off to the whole building, you cut it off at the, at the sink. You know, you can go underneath the sink and cut it off. And then you're like, and you wait for him to shit and you come out and you're like, dude, I'm so sorry, the water was off, you couldn't even, oh, could, could you wash your hands? Cause now you know for a fact the water was off and he didn't wash his hands. So he can't lie about it. That's, that's maybe your only way to trap him into that, but still.

• 1:36:39Speaker 04

  If he's a reasonable human being, I think the reason I, I said the question is because recently, a woman in my neighborhood.

• 1:36:46Stavros Halkias?

  She was shitting on the side.

• 1:36:47Speaker 04

  Took a big shit, right at the bottom of my driveway. You know, like right, just right in the middle of my driveway, big shit. And my neighbor's like, yo, someone, someone just let their dog take a massive shit. And I look at my cameras and I see the dog, I see the woman.

• 1:37:05Speaker 04

  And I was like, I'm gonna say something.

• 1:37:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:37:08Speaker 04

  If I see her. And I was like, wait, how do I do this? Cause I can get a little confrontational.

• 1:37:13Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:37:14Speaker 04

  Like if I say something seriously, it sounds intense.

• 1:37:18Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:37:19Speaker 04

  Like, hey, hey, did your, you know, I can quickly, the blood starts to boil.

• 1:37:22Stavros Halkias?

  I get that.

• 1:37:23Speaker 04

  And I was like, the best way to do it, I would, I'm gonna, if I see her, next time I see her, cause it happened like a week ago. I'm like, I'm gonna pose it as a question. I'm gonna be like, eh, you got bags? She's walking, you got bags?

• 1:37:36Stavros Halkias?

  You need some bags? I got some bags.

• 1:37:37Speaker 04

  And if she says no, I'll be like, gotta have bags.

• 1:37:41Stavros Halkias?

  Gotta have bags.

• 1:37:42Speaker 04

  And if she says yes, I'll be like, okay, cool, just making sure, cause I did see you on my cameras. Let your dog take a shit and walk away.

• 1:37:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's insane. That, you're so in the right though, to be like, hey, please don't let your dog, I don't even, that, I don't even think you need to ask a question. I think you're so squarely in the right.

• 1:38:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:38:00Stavros Halkias?

  And you have proof.

• 1:38:01Speaker 04

  I was considering printing out the screenshot.

• 1:38:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  And sticking it on a, on a pole.

• 1:38:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:38:10Speaker 04

  And my fiance was like, please don't do that.

• 1:38:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, that's cra, that's way too conversational, too quick. In your situation, you could just say, hey, did you let, you could ask the question like, hey, was that? You could, that, cause then she's like, no, then you're like, well, that's it.

• 1:38:22Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, because I actually saw you and I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.

• 1:38:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:38:26Stavros Halkias?

  I would really appreciate if you just didn't do that anymore.

• 1:38:29Speaker 04

  You didn't let your dog shit right in my driveway.

• 1:38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. If she doubles down, then you print it out. But you don't want, you don't want to escalate.

• 1:38:36Speaker 04

  No, I'll wait. I can wait on that one. And if she can, if I see it again.

• 1:38:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:42Speaker 04

  She might get a printout, but it's just right at the base of the driveway in, in danger of being run over and smeared.

• 1:38:49Stavros Halkias?

  Smear, dude. You don't want that.

• 1:38:50Speaker 04

  And then I was like back, it's the hard driveway to back out of. And I was anchoring my wheels. So I was going around it.

• 1:38:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:59Speaker 04

  But then like, after a few hours, someone, someone stepped in it and it was just like, and it became.

• 1:39:06Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:39:07Speaker 04

  Uncleanable.

• 1:39:08Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:39:09Speaker 04

  Just became part of the street.

• 1:39:10Stavros Halkias?

  Part of the milieu of your driveway.

• 1:39:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, look, I think in this case.

• 1:39:18Stavros Halkias?

  I don't even, look, he's a grown man who doesn't wash his fucking hands. I don't know what to tell you. If you really feel super strongly about it. Now again, if this is the kind of atmosphere I'm imagining where it's a warehouse office thing. The thing these guys do respond to is like, you could bust his balls about it. Like you, I don't think being polite and being like, excuse me, Jeffrey, I noticed you didn't fucking wipe. Or you didn't wipe, right? That'd be awesome if you knew that. Uh, I noticed you didn't wash your hands. He's gonna be like, fuck you nerd. But if you're like, you fucking scumbag, or you, did you get shit on the, on the? Hey, there, did you get shit on the fucking refrigerator, the company refrigerator?

• 1:39:55Speaker 04

  Or you see him shake someone's hand and be like, hey, watch out, this guy doesn't wash his hands after he shits.

• 1:39:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you just got shit particles on your fucking.

• 1:40:01Speaker 04

  I'd wash your hands if you were, if I were there.

• 1:40:03Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:40:04Speaker 04

  Cause he's, he doesn't wash his hands after he shits. Boom.

• 1:40:07Stavros Halkias?

  That's the way, that's the way, I think that's the way, that's the only, again, if I'm reading the situation right. If this is like a warehouse guy who's like a, you know, blue collar guy who doesn't like to, who doesn't like to be challenged. That's the language those guys understand. Now, if you're in a reasonable office with reasonable people. Like Jimmy believes, naively believes that's how the world works. Yeah, you can have a conversation with him and it'll stop, I guess. But if you want the real shit, you gotta embarrass this man until he fucking buys something.

• 1:40:37Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 1:40:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:38Speaker 04

  I would say depending on the man.

• 1:40:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:40:42Speaker 04

  Either hit him with a little, a little, a little nudgy question.

• 1:40:45Stavros Halkias?

  A little nudge, yeah.

• 1:40:46Speaker 04

  The question with a smile, you know, like, eh. You wash your hands or?

• 1:40:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:50Speaker 04

  And it's a little ball busty.

• 1:40:51Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit, yeah.

• 1:40:52Speaker 04

  You're giving him the question.

• 1:40:54Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta strike the tone of light, you gotta strike the tone of light ball busting on the initial question.

• 1:40:59Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:40:59Stavros Halkias?

  To open up, you don't want the initial question to feel snitchy.

• 1:41:02Speaker 04

  And you don't want it to be. But you're right to say you don't want to be too serious if you're like, hey, um.

• 1:41:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, can I?

• 1:41:08Speaker 04

  So, could I talk to you?

• 1:41:10Stavros Halkias?

  Can we discuss about, do you have a minute later?

• 1:41:11Speaker 04

  Cause then he's embarrassed.

• 1:41:13Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:41:13Speaker 04

  And then the embarrassment turns to fuck off.

• 1:41:17Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's the thing. Yeah, of, of, he's unreasonable. He doesn't wash his hands after he shits. You think he's a guy you can reason with?

• 1:41:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:41:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's dis- it is disgusting. So, anyway, that's my advice to you. I think we really solved everybody's problems, Elvis. What do you think?

• 1:41:32Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 1:41:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Jimmy, thank you so much, man. This was fucking awesome. Anytime you're in town, please come. We'd love to have you again. Check out The Hawk, everybody. Uh, on Netflix, probably, probably by now. Come see us on tour. Uh, we are, at this point, actually, at this point, holy fuck, when your show comes out, is the exact weekend we were, we, I'm recording my special.

• 1:41:55Speaker 04

  Oh, nice.

• 1:41:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I had to postpone it because I broke my fucking arm, but.

• 1:41:58Speaker 04

  Where are you, where are you recording?

• 1:41:59Stavros Halkias?

  At the Lyric in Baltimore. I, I grew up in Baltimore and that's, I love that theater.

• 1:42:03Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:42:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna be awesome. Please, you know, buy your tickets. Uh, uh, if you haven't, or actually, I guess it's happening right now, or it's happening this weekend, or it just happened. Either way, folks, uh, check it out, hopefully, hope, on Netflix, hopefully, a couple of months after. The Hawk and then, yeah, you got The Hawk and then, honestly, I feel like a couple of weeks later, Tyrus comes out too, so. You got some nice comedy coming out on Netflix this summer, folks. Um.

• 1:42:28Speaker 04

  That's season three?

• 1:42:29Stavros Halkias?

  Season two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was fucking nuts. We had, that's where we've, this was the one where I was like, oh, we're actually making a show.

• 1:42:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:37Stavros Halkias?

  We had locations, you know what I mean? Like, it was annoying because we had to schedule stuff. It's like, what, what do you mean we have to schedule stuff on the location? Can't we just do every scene in the shitty office we've done the first two seasons?

• 1:42:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:48Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, no, maybe we should make this professional look good. And I was like, fine. Um, but it's really fucking funny. It's a great season and, uh, it's gonna be great. A lot of good comedy this summer, folks. Uh, and yeah, we'll talk to you next time. Bye, bye.

• 1:43:01Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 1:43:12Stavros Halkias?

  Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcasts, or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.