#181 - Jaboukie Young-White

Jaboukie Young-White joins the pod to discuss his rudeboy uncle, Jamaican names, the juicy tale of how his parents got married, why GLP1s are psyops, and much more. Jaboukie and Stav help callers including a gay man who's ethically conflicted after learning that the married man he hooked up with was gay and not straight, and a 40-year-old husband and dad of three who's responsible in every way except the fact that he loves doing dabs. See Jaboukie live and follow him online: https://www.jaboukie.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jaboukie https://www.twitter.com/jaboukie https://www.tiktok.com/@jaboukie ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:31Speaker 01

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• 1:25Speaker 01

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• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Hup ah! Welcome, everybody, to Stavvy's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. On the couch today in the beautiful Lower Manhattan Temporary Studios of Stavvy's World, we have Jaboukie Young White. Thanks for being here, Jaboukie. Thank you for having me, Stav. Yeah, dude, we've had a lively discussion already. Uh, that's the thing, you motherfuckers, you don't get the good stuff. We, we really let loose before, before the cameras start, uh, start rolling, but it's a gloomy day here in, in New York City. We're coming off a couple beautiful days. Yeah. And this is real podcasting weather. I couldn't bring myself to podcast when it was eighty degrees.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  No, oh my god, you gotta get outside.

• 2:13Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta get in a, you gotta get in a tank top.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  This is good, this is pensive. Sit inside, think, muse a little bit.

• 2:19Stavros Halkias?

  Muse, think about Ice Spice, mostly. You know, shout out to her for holding it down in McDonald's, getting jumped.

• 2:27Speaker 04

  And then also keeping brand awareness mid fight. That is so impressive, like, I aspire to that. That is so.

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking beautiful, that is, yeah, that is beautiful. Held her own, and I'm back in, I liked seeing, I, first of all, more than holding her own, the fact that she was in a McDonald's alone, ostensibly kinda late, I don't, I don't know, I just saw the video, I didn't really like, even really key in, I didn't get the details, but it's like, I love that from a fucking, cause she's, she's not just famous, she's like young pop star, starlit famous.

• 3:00Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  Which is the, which will be taken away from her, you know what I mean, like, that sucks, but that's how the world works.

• 3:06Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 3:07Stavros Halkias?

  Society, like, a young hot woman is like the most of famous a person can be, cause you're both famous and you just have the desires of being hot and, and like, just, like, how everybody wants, society wants to fuck you, basically.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:22Stavros Halkias?

  Is just commodifying you, but that does make you the most famous a person can be, I think.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, because it's fame on top of fame.

• 3:28Stavros Halkias?

  Fame on top of fame.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  Just being a hot woman, you're already famous.

• 3:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're famously, yeah, societally speaking, that is what, that's how fame started.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:35Stavros Halkias?

  It was like, Helen of Troy was just hot.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right, like, she was famous cause she was a piece, like, from The Odyssey.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  Like, everyone else has like, fucking slay, giant slayer, the man who could tell the future, Apollo granted him, and then it's like, she was just a piece of ass.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  Dude, that was a fucking bad.

• 3:54Stavros Halkias?

  She was a bad bitch. The type of bitch that'll start a war and into a world war, but that's, it truly is, and even like, growing up, the pretty girl in class? Superstar.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  I know what it's like to be in a room with Taylor Swift, cause I know what it was like to be in a room with like, the hot girl when I was like,

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 4:12Stavros Halkias?

  When you're in second grade, and like, that one girl who's like, hair is like, done nice, and she's like, and she's kinda polite. She kinda, she kinda feels like a politician.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 4:20Stavros Halkias?

  Because she's-

• 4:21Speaker 04

  There's also like a weight to her.

• 4:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  Like, she is really trying to hold it all together.

• 4:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, she's, she's a symbol already.

• 4:29Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:30Stavros Halkias?

  She's symb- yeah, we all, it's like, we need, it's, it's like, yeah. The way they would, when they would send fucking Marilyn Monroe over for World War, for like, uh, USO shows and shit, it's like, that was for like dumb children. It was like, the pretty girl who like can tap dance or something. You know what I mean? She just has like one random skill, or it's like, you know, she's into horses or whatever. Anyway, yeah, there was a weight. There's a lot, you know, from a young age, you're carrying a lot on your shoulders.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, big pressure.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  Big pressure, but yeah, I'm just so, Ice Spice has won me over again, uh, with the Afro Latino song and, and eating McDonald's by herself. And having her cheeks out at SpongeBob. Which was awesome, respect. Being hot, looking like, like a piece of ass.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 5:16Stavros Halkias?

  Salute to her, goes, I like to think there's one fat little boy who's just there to watch SpongeBob. And now, she, she is, in that night, there's at least one kid who went from caring about SpongeBob to caring about huge asses. And she's started him for the rest of his life. And that's beautiful. There'll be a kid who will like, in his fucking, he'll be wearing a Patrick Star shirt, and he'll be like, going to the premiere of SpongeBob changed my life. I'm addicted to just caked up.

• 5:48Speaker 04

  He goes home and throws away all of his like, fuck my sister, I love video games. Shut up, mom, I'm playing video games on those stupid ass shirts. She's just like a walking coming of age ceremony, basically.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  For real, for real. I mean, I try and think what would have happened to me if I, 12, I saw Ice Spice in person? Changes my life forever, probably.

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:09Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I, I don't think we had access to people, like, hot, the hottest woman I was around was just like, a pretty hot girl in Greecity. It was like my fucking friend's older cousin.

• 6:23Speaker 04

  Right.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  And that, and that woman was, again, celebrity starts with beauty. What if I see Ice Spice when I'm 12? I think I'd go crazy. I think, actually, maybe it was too much. Maybe she drove, maybe she drove a couple of children to insanity.

• 6:39Stavros Halkias?

  Salute to her, though. I can't, you know.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  But then that's good because she's kind of like steering them away from the manosphere.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Cause they're like, well, I can't hate women too much.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  I can't hate women too much. They're so awesome. Is that the way we need to? I mean, I do think ultimately that is the path. That is the path, which this is a big part of this, this program. We're trying to get people to just channel horniness in a positive direction. And that's the thing, get so horny you see Ice Spice that you, you pick up a craft. That you're like, I have, what could I do?

• 7:06Speaker 04

  I gotta learn pottery.

• 7:07Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta learn, I gotta be a woodworker. I gotta learn at least poetry, like.

• 7:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  Find your thing and be, yeah, maybe that's good.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Start smithing something.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. A work. A, a, a, a, a jobs program, but with like really hot ladies. Get incels to fucking like both respect, understand that a hot woman knows more than you and can teach you stuff. If we send busty ladies to show incels how to fucking, how to be, become metalworkers, how to become fucking, uh, what is that shit called? Welding?

• 7:40Speaker 04

  Yes, welders, yes.

• 7:41Stavros Halkias?

  I think this is interesting. We'll put a pin in this. We'll, we'll settle this up, but what's up with, anyway, that's just a little. What's going on with you overall? You're, you're back from Europe. You're fucking, how are you living now? How are you, how you, are you excited for our sprint? The, the nice weather has got me excited.

• 7:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:57Stavros Halkias?

  How are you feeling? Where are you in your life? What are you looking forward to?

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Allergies crazy, right?

• 8:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  I'm snorting Zyrtec. Like, I'm really trying to get through it. But I do love it.

• 8:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  Love the warm weather, fucking with that. I feel like this summer in New York, crazy.

• 8:16Stavros Halkias?

  I think so too.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  It's gonna go crazy.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  There's something bubbling.

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like.

• 8:19Stavros Halkias?

  There's something percolating.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  Everything that we built up over the winter.

• 8:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cause yeah, Zoron, like, Zoron, like, the getting elected, it was cold.

• 8:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  No one's.

• 8:28Speaker 04

  Fucking freezing.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  It was too cold to get head, like, to, to like, to get, cause that would have been, if that happened, if the inaugurate, or if he wins his, like, if our elections are in the spring.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. That would have been July.

• 8:40Stavros Halkias?

  Baby boom.

• 8:41Speaker 04

  Oh my.

• 8:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's a fucking, there's a New York City baby boom dude happening for real. People, yeah, that would have been fucking awesome.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, the Zaron freak off would have went crazy.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  Zaron freak off, hell yeah dude. And I do think we're due for some, so that's like, that's a lot of potential energy that's gonna get paid off.

• 8:59Speaker 04

  Definitely.

• 8:59Stavros Halkias?

  You even felt it a little bit, if we had two more warm days this month.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:04Stavros Halkias?

  Things would have gotten fucking crazy.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  Was crazy.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  Tank tops in April was nice, and I know it is May now, folks. As you all know, it is mid-May, of course, we're just reminiscing about what happened a month ago.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:15Stavros Halkias?

  We're just reminiscing about a cool week a month ago.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was a great week.

• 9:19Stavros Halkias?

  And you were, you were fucking, you were getting it in Europe, you were across, you're, you're on tour now, we should say, go see Jaboukie, he's got a couple of dates.

• 9:27Stavros Halkias?

  You don't know where, exactly when, just figure it out, man, go to the website, go to the Instagram.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, it'll be there.

• 9:33Stavros Halkias?

  It'll be there, but you were, you were doing the, the Euro tour, huh?

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's nice, dude, where'd you go, did you like?

• 9:40Speaker 04

  I loved it.

• 9:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah?

• 9:41Speaker 04

  I went to London, Paris, Berlin, and then Dublin.

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, that's a nice, that's a nice one.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  It was just gonna be London and Paris, and I was like, where else can I write off of my taxes?

• 9:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  It really is like, I think when John Marco was here, I was making fun of him for going to like, India, or he's just going, he's doing stand-up where I'm like, alright, I mean, I guess, have fun, you're just going on vacation.

• 10:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:02Stavros Halkias?

  You're just seeing, you're just seeing shit you want, but those are some good, those are the classics.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:08Stavros Halkias?

  And Berlin is like, I, I don't know what the, everyone who talks about it, I don't, I can't place what it's like. Cause you were saying it's like a fucking, it's just a bunch of New York transplants, basically?

• 10:18Speaker 04

  It was a lot of New York trans, but then it was also a lot of Germans.

• 10:22Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  And, um, it was interesting.

• 10:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  They, uh, that was like the wokest crowd I've ever performed for in my life.

• 10:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's, that's like, that's the woke factory.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  Oh, 100%.

• 10:34Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's, cause it's like so, I, I mean, and everything, it's like, it's so freaky, like the, everything about the clubs.

• 10:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:41Stavros Halkias?

  The culture being like. How many people go to like these insane clubs where wild shit is happening? A ton, right?

• 10:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 10:48Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that's what, that's like a big, a huge industry in the city. And it's like, getting, like, people are in, like, a dungeon, like, you know, sucking each other off while shitting or whatever. And then they're also like, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't be fucking,

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:02Stavros Halkias?

  don't say that. That's kind of nuts.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  It, it's not even like necessarily that. It's like, there's this American sensibility that we have where it's like, everything's fucked up, but we love it.

• 11:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  And they're like, no.

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  You actually shouldn't love that. It's not funny at all.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  I understand, maybe like gallows humor, you're trying to make the best of a situation, but you should fix that.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  They were not.

• 11:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's a pragmatism thing.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, where they're like, don't joke about that.

• 11:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  That's actually serious, you should solve that.

• 11:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I don't, I, I don't, I have no, because wasn't also like Berlin, like cra- that's, because everybody thinks that, sort of like, the Nazis kind of like, that's what you think of Germany in your head, where you're like, when, for me anyway, where you're like, oh, everything, well, that's where Nazis come from, and before that, they were just extra strength Nazis, but wasn't Berlin like crazy, like chill?

• 11:58Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 11:58Stavros Halkias?

  It was like, they were just on, way ahead of the curve.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  Weimar.

• 12:02Stavros Halkias?

  Which is kind of why this-

• 12:03Speaker 04

  It was crazy.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  When he got reelected, when Trump got reelected, I was like, I need to figure out, what, what happened last time?

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  Like, what, what was really, like, actually going on?

• 12:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  I just started reading a bunch about Weimar, I was like, okay, so that was just Bushwick.

• 12:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was their cool, so yeah, basically, we're just seeing what happened now is what started it. They just tried trans people in the 40s, and then we got Hitler, and then they're like, all right, now that we're getting them going again, we got Hitler Jr.? Is that really what it is?

• 12:35Speaker 04

  Well, it's so interesting, because I feel like people are always like, oh, like, homosexuality or like gender deviance is always a sign of a falling empire, but what I think is like, the empire starts crumbling, and people are like, what are the faggots up to?

• 12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get in on this.

• 12:48Speaker 04

  What ideas, like, fuck it. Everything's falling apart, like, fuck it. In the sissies, I don't know. Like, they're fun, they're having a good time.

• 12:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  So, I don't know.

• 12:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Speaker 04

  It was interesting, though. But Berlin is like a gigantic museum. It's like, you're not gonna forget.

• 13:05Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, alright. Maybe we'll fucking go.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:07Stavros Halkias?

  I do wanna go on a little fucking, a little just Euro tour. Cause I, I always go to Greece. You know, my family's from Greece, so it's like, it kinda feels stupid to not go to Greece.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 13:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, who gives a fuck about Germany?

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:19Stavros Halkias?

  I wanna go to the beach.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I've never been to Greece, it's so fucking appealing.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  That's fucking crazy, dude. It feels like there's so many different moments.

• 13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Greece is the best.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:29Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like, everyone just does. I mean, I think what, and I think also getting back to why my psychology is like, like what I'm talking about. I have, I'm friends with some horrible people. It's, Greece is kinda like that where you're like, you can be with a literally evil person, right? Like, some fucking, you're on some rich guy's boat who's a piece of shit, but he's a good time. And he's not-

• 13:51Speaker 04

  He's Greek, or he's just-

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  He's Greek, he's Greek. And he's not, everyone is always trying, even if they like, like, I met people who, I met like, you know, I met some like, we're just, I'm out with some friends and they have like, through friends of friends, they're like connected to these like, kinda like finance bro types.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:11Stavros Halkias?

  And they were pumped to talk to Americans, cause they're like, oh, capitalists.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:17Stavros Halkias?

  These guys are gonna be fucking awesome. They're gonna love, and I start talking about how we don't have fucking healthcare and how despicable it is.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:24Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, what the fuck?

• 14:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  They're like, they're expecting me to be like, yeah, fuck, I love inequality. You guys should come over and fucking, to steal some of the money from the poor, from us. But it is funny how like, Greek like, like, European capitalists see Americans, they're like, nice dude, the real deal's here. And so they were pissed when I'm a social, when I'm talking about how, no, social, like, this is, your quality of life is better than Amer- than America, what are you fucking idiots talking about?

• 14:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:53Stavros Halkias?

  They were mad. And here, once, once conservatives find out you're a socialist, they're like, well, you're too, I don't wanna be friends with you, you're, we'd destroy the world. There, they're like, well, that's fucking gay that you think that, but, let's get fucked up, let's get fucked up and try and fuck some chicks and eat some fucking barbecued octopus. And that's the thing, it's like, you can have a fundamental disagreement.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:13Stavros Halkias?

  Like, and there'll still be like- You're a bitch, but let's get, let's have a good time.

• 15:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  And that's.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  But you can still have fun.

• 15:20Stavros Halkias?

  And you can still have fun and you can still be like, you know, boy, you could actually still literally be friends. And as long as nobody has actual power, that's fine.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:28Stavros Halkias?

  As long as you can't actually change the world, I do think like, I'm like, who cares if this fucking idiot thinks something stupid? I have friends who think like they can control the weather with their mind. I have friends who think they're abducted by fucking aliens. Like, I don't, I never stop them and I'm like, it's, it's problematic. You think aliens are real? It's like, if you think something fucked up, it's like, I'll call you stupid. And then as long as you're not harming anyone, we can still smoke a joint on a boat.

• 15:54Speaker 04

  And I feel like maybe that's why Europeans can be more chill about it is because they all have this belief where it's like, I'm not going to ever really.

• 16:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  Be the biggest person in the world or like be a rock star.

• 16:03Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's a little more collective too.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:05Stavros Halkias?

  And I also think they just have literally lived through civil wars.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  So true.

• 16:09Stavros Halkias?

  They've literally lived, like Greece fully had a fascist versus communist situation.

• 16:17Speaker 04

  Really?

• 16:17Stavros Halkias?

  And well, dude, there was a 19, in, we're one of the like, in this, what the CIA has fucked up montage? Greece is like a my, because they didn't assassinate anybody, they just deposed. We had a leader who wanted to socialize, who wanted to like nationalize our, not that we have the kind of energy that other places do, but we just had a leader who wanted to kind of do what, what, how, how they, how the CIA assassinated, you know, most famously and most fucked up for our situation right now, Mossadec in, in Iran, where he was like, oh, obviously we're nationalizing the oil, the British and the fucking powers that be don't get our oil. And then they, you know, deposed him. We had a, a military takeover in 67. And we had a democratically elected socialist who was like, hey, America, like,

• 17:00Stavros Halkias?

  you know, you guys are intervening when, when military takeovers happen. And they're like, oh yeah, but like, for fascists we're intervening, not for fucking socialists. So it's like,

• 17:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:09Stavros Halkias?

  My fucking dad, he claimed, like, this is like when people pretend to be cool. They're like, oh yeah, I was a domestic terrorist. Like my dad was like, yeah, I fucking, yeah, I set off bombs against the fascists. That was cool. I don't believe him.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:22Stavros Halkias?

  But it was like, you grew up being a fucking domestic terrorist. Or being a fucking bootlicker.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 17:28Stavros Halkias?

  And they're happy to fucking be those identities in a fucked up way. And you still are in a society together in a weird way. Where it's like, so you just had like, so I think that's part of it. They like, they did kill each other, like in each, in Eastern Europe. And then you talk about fucking Yugoslav, what all that kind of shit. There were literally civil wars and then they like, got through them.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:48Stavros Halkias?

  So they did the worst part of it. Like the thing we're worried about.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  They like fought in.

• 17:51Stavros Halkias?

  They did it. Like they actually had violence within each other where we're like, fuck, I hope it doesn't erupt in civil war.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  They did it. So now they're like, well, we did it. It happened.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  I mean, I guess, yeah, it does have to happen at a certain point.

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  Well, dude, I saw a really funny fucking, uh, a really funny stat. Where it was like, no country over this BMI has ever had civil war. And they're like, we're safe.

• 18:17Stavros Halkias?

  Americans too.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  We have to stop Ozempic right now.

• 18:24Stavros Halkias?

  GLP ones, the powers that be invented GLP ones to make us not fat so we could have a civil war.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  CIA invented GLP ones to create civil war.

• 18:36Stavros Halkias?

  We did it.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  Stop it.

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  We figured it out.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  The needle.

• 18:39Stavros Halkias?

  You know what's so fu- I literally believe that.

• 18:44Stavros Halkias?

  Cause we didn't have a cure for being fat for so long. And it's like, and they're like, alright, alright, we gotta get this going. Fuck, there's, they hate each other, but they're too fat to leave the house. Alright, we got, oh, I, alright, I guess we gotta get them less fat. That's, that's genius, dude. We gotta look into that. That's, that's, I think that's what's hap- but anyway, so it is, but, but that's, yeah. You'll have a great, basically, my point is just like, you will have an incre- because having a good time.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Is at the top.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of the societal, like hierarchy.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  You will have an excellent time. Like hanging out is the, I think that's what's made, that's in the way that my culture has formed me, my like, you know, where I'm, where my family's from. I think just being a guy that loves chilling first and foremost has helped me. But I mean, I don't know, Jamaica, your, your family's Jamaican.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Yes, that's also a huge.

• 19:36Stavros Halkias?

  So I was gonna say, it must be the vibe, I really wanna go to, I've never been Jamaican, I really wanna go. But it must be, the vibes must be like that, where it seems like a great hangout, like, just have a good time place.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Huge chillers.

• 19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Huge, huge, huge chillers. Also, wait, doesn't my name mean blowjob in Greek?

• 19:54Stavros Halkias?

  Tsimbuki.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 19:56Stavros Halkias?

  Tsimbuki.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  With an M.

• 19:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's, I guess the way I would spell it would be TS. It's not, it's not a sound that exists in America. It's like a Z. It's like a S, J, T, TJ, TS. It's like a T and an S and a J somehow.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 20:16Stavros Halkias?

  Tsimbuki. So the buki part.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah, that's close, that's close.

• 20:21Stavros Halkias?

  Tsibuki.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  And I'm fine with that.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  It's a positive association.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think people would like to hear that, you know what I mean? I think you'll find some guys that are excited that your name rhymes like, you'd have a great time. That's all I'm saying. Um, yeah, no, it's the fucking, eh, it fucking rules. But you, did you go a lot, did your fa, when did your, your parents came here, like, when?

• 20:45Speaker 04

  So my dad came here, like, late eighties, I think.

• 20:47Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, same.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  And then, uh, my mom came, maybe like eighty-nine, ninety, sometime around.

• 20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, alright, hell yeah. And it seems from all your, from like the, from your material and everything, that we're in a similar spot of like, the greatest immigrant mom of all time, who's like the sweetest person in the world that saved your life.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  One hundred percent.

• 21:08Stavros Halkias?

  And like a, and my, and your dad seems a little worse than me, just from like echolocation? Not that we're making it a bad dad contest.

• 21:16Speaker 04

  We can.

• 21:16Stavros Halkias?

  But, but I think you got, cause I've always said my dad is like, he is the best bad dad. Like, whenever, when people have bad dads, I'm like, I'm happy I had my dad. But he is the worst good dad. Like that's kind of where my dad is where it's like.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 21:30Stavros Halkias?

  He wasn't, you know, we didn't go hungry. Yeah, he had some anger problems. Yeah, he yelled. He was like, the abuse was mostly.

• 21:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:38Stavros Halkias?

  Not physical.

• 21:39Speaker 04

  Okay, so it was like a Noah Baumbach like sort of.

• 21:42Stavros Halkias?

  And he's not like manipulative enough to really hurt your feelings.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 21:46Stavros Halkias?

  So even like guilt, yes, but it's also like guilt from like a guy who's not that good at pulling your strings.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  Right.

• 21:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's just like.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  So you see the play.

• 21:54Stavros Halkias?

  He just brute forces it or he just hits you over there with it over and over again. So it's like, you know, at the end of the day, yeah, I have some psychological problems and I have some anger issues I have to get over now, but compared to some other stuff.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's kind of, but still like even just seeing like an Instagram story with your mom, I'm like, that feels like she's connected. That feels like a variant of my mom. Seeing like a nice smiling woman who's still, at the same time, no, there are things you do that she hates, but she lets that go. You know what I mean? Like my mom is, when my mom lets it, when I hear this, when she actually is real with me.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:32Stavros Halkias?

  And she does hit me with a, so are you ever gonna fucking have a girlfriend? Like she's even got, she's off of grandkids now. She's like, just date a nice girl. You know what I mean? Like when she shows me her disappointment, when it finally sneaks in.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  Home to her?

• 22:45Stavros Halkias?

  Not since college. Like, and she loved my college girlfriend and she met, the last like really serious relationship I was in, she met her, but it was like, we were in the pro, it was so fucked up. We were in the process of breaking up.

• 22:59Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 22:59Stavros Halkias?

  Like we could both.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  When she met her?

• 23:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's a really fucked up situation and it like, all the legit, like I do think there's a, sometimes I think back and I'm like, wow, the logistics of that relationship. I think if like one thing goes different, we don't break up, but it was like, everything kind of like we were getting in a fight. We actually were in Greece. And then I remember one time, we were trying to rent a movie and it, to this day, I think, but we couldn't, it's like Greece and they have like weird, it's the hotel has like eight, they have like 20 options, right? To this day, I think, and they were showing Mamma Mia at a movie theater, right?

• 23:37Speaker 04

  And I was like. Which they're just doing 365.

• 23:39Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. I mean, it's like tourists that are like, Mamma Mia. And so we missed it. And I was like, I'm sure we can get it in the room, right? To this day, I think if we had watched Mamma Mia, I don't think we'd break up.

• 23:53Stavros Halkias?

  Eventually we break up probably, but I think the trip gets saved with the power of song. I really believe that because but we what we did instead was we had heard about it was fucking um. Fuck, what's the uh? It's a good movie, but it was so not uh sorry it was sorry to bother you.

• 24:13Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 24:13Stavros Halkias?

  Which is a great movie, but it's not.

• 24:15Speaker 04

  It's not an uplifting title.

• 24:16Stavros Halkias?

  When you're fighting with your girl on vacation, you don't want to think about, you know, you don't like avant garde communist cinema. Cinema is not gonna be what fucking what like so we tried that that didn't work and then we watched Ocean's Eight. And that dead none of the magic of Ocean's Eleven. If we even got Ocean's Eleven, maybe Ocean's Eleven wins us buys us two weeks.

• 24:39Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 24:40Stavros Halkias?

  But my I to this day, sometimes I'm like, I bet you if we watched Mamma Mia and sang some ABBA. I really think we would have gotten a at least a six month extension on that relationship. So anyway, but so the last and even I mean, but even the the my ex and my mom met in a precarious she loved her too. And she like kept she would always be like, oh, I see she's doing like she's really cutely would be like I watched, you know, her stuff and it was, you know, she's really talented. Like my mom is a really beautiful like she kind of likes my exes more than me on some ways. Cause there obviously she love my you know how immigrant moms are she would fucking kill somebody for me.

• 25:20Stavros Halkias?

  But I just mean, I just think she likes when a nice put together woman she just and my mom all boys. I think you're saying three boys, right? I'm three boys.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Where do you fall?

• 25:29Stavros Halkias?

  I'm the oldest.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Same.

• 25:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, look at us, we're you know, uh, uh, and and and I just think like she never got to scratch that itch with a girl. She never had a girl. I'm sure she wanted one.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Right.

• 25:41Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, we had a my my cousin, we didn't get to see as much my the only on her on my mom's side, the only girl. We didn't get to see her as much as we wanted to. So I think there's like, I think that's what it is for her where she's like, she just wants so. Like, uh, you know, uh, and she's great with both my sisters in law like they have, you know, my mom's the best mother in law you could fucking hope for. She's not a bit, you know, she doesn't have that classic.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  She has some.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  But she just wants.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  She's being a little greedy.

• 26:07Stavros Halkias?

  She thank. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavi Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month, or get the Premium

• 26:48Stavros Halkias?

  Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply. Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up. It's dark outside, fast. You're getting off. You gotta switch from summer to the fall. That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else. AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics,

• 27:28Stavros Halkias?

  and you're not gonna believe this, superfoods. It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1. You know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi Gets Ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic. I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish

• 28:12Stavros Halkias?

  oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2 with your first subscription order of AG1.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drink AG1.com/stavi.

• 28:24Stavros Halkias?

  Do you ever get that? Do you get the like, uh, what are your, what are your brother situations? Are they?

• 28:29Speaker 04

  No, so my youngest brother isn't dating anyone. My middle brother like sort of is, but it's like a long distance thing.

• 28:39Stavros Halkias?

  Are you single right now?

• 28:41Speaker 04

  No, I'm single.

• 28:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're single somewhere. Okay, nice. It's here for a while?

• 28:44Speaker 04

  It's been like a few months.

• 28:45Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so you're, we're, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not jinx anything?

• 28:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:53Stavros Halkias?

  But not at the level where mom's getting involved at least. Yes, yes, yes. I see, I see, I see. But yeah, that's the, the, the, the, that's, that seems to be the like, and so they came, so they were already like married? Or what, what's the situation when they came over? Your mom, they're both Jamaican and met in America or how did it go?

• 29:13Speaker 04

  They, um, so they were engaged to separate people.

• 29:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  Dad had already had my sister, who's like maybe 16, 17 years old.

• 29:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  Like much older than me.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  He's like visiting Jamaica. My, and I think he's married to my sister's mom. My mom is engaged to a pilot and.

• 29:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, pilot.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, right? I'm like, where is that guy now? Like I want some free flights.

• 29:46Stavros Halkias?

  Pilot in like the fucking, we're talking the 90s. It's pretty good.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  That's nice as fuck.

• 29:51Stavros Halkias?

  Pilot Jamaica 90s?

• 29:53Speaker 04

  Right?

• 29:53Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 29:54Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 29:54Stavros Halkias?

  What was your dad up to? What was his job?

• 29:57Speaker 04

  He might've still been working at a factory.

• 29:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:01Speaker 04

  But he was back. My mom and my aunt were like being kind of messy. And my aunt was like, so like the wedding's coming up. Is there anyone that you would call off the wedding for? And my mom was like, I don't know. I mean, I guess if Condell like burst through the church doors, like.

• 30:17Stavros Halkias?

  Your mom's sitting there dreaming of a fucking, of a like interruption of an 80s movie styling. Speak now, she's dreaming of speak now. Not I do. Speak now or forever hold your peace is what she can't wait for.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  My aunt was like, oh, interesting. And then she goes to my dad and she's like, Norma said that she would call off the.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  And then my dad goes over and is like, do you want to get married? And my mom was like, okay. And then my aunt uh lent her address and they got married at the church that day. And I did not know this until I was like 23, had just moved to New York and was like visiting my aunt in the Bronx.

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  And she's just telling you this like it's a fun story?

• 30:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, she was just like, did your parents ever tell you like how everything happened? She was like, you know, it was me.

• 31:01Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 31:03Speaker 04

  She's like the oldest sister.

• 31:04Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, that's fucking insane. So they had dated before or something?

• 31:08Speaker 04

  They grew up together.

• 31:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 31:09Speaker 04

  They've known each other since they were like, single digit.

• 31:12Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, and so your dad went off, had a kid.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:15Stavros Halkias?

  Started a family, it's like, you know what? Rough draft.

• 31:21Stavros Halkias?

  Rough draft. Let's get back, let's get back to my roots. Who's the, who's the pretty girl I grew up with?

• 31:30Speaker 04

  I remember growing up, like my sister's mom used to be so shady to us, like whenever we would see her things.

• 31:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  And I'd be like, okay, whatever.

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's kind of a bitch and now you're like, she's the most vindicated woman on earth. Of course.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm like.

• 31:42Stavros Halkias?

  Imagine being this woman and having to see like three cute little boys and like, you know?

• 31:48Speaker 04

  Girl, let's get a drink, like let's, like, let's dish, like, let's just talk.

• 31:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow, you should become friends with her now. That's a very, yeah, just two people your dad has uh wronged.

• 32:03Speaker 04

  Oh, that's great.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's fucking crazy dude. And you know what? That's beautiful because that's, the, the social media era has cost us those out of the blue insane moves.

• 32:15Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 32:16Stavros Halkias?

  Because your mom, now, today, they're liking each other's stories, they're occasionally cheating on their spouse. You know what I mean? They're occasionally hooking up, they have a messy situationship. This is the first time that I think situationship is a real thing. Before I was just like, oh, that's just dating.

• 32:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:33Stavros Halkias?

  But it is a type of, sort of your quasi, it's like quasi-real, quasi-not.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:39Stavros Halkias?

  It exists online, it exists, like, most situationships, if you take dating, or if you take social media weight, don't exist. Cause I think there's a li, in my, the way I look at it is like that, the lifeblood of a situationship is like. On a random day, when you haven't even thought about this person at all, does one Instagram story lead to them being in your life for two months again? You know what I mean?

• 33:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's not someone that you actually truly give a fuck about. It's just that you're constantly reminded of them because of, you know, how you don't really exist outside of the internet anymore, really? Or like, people mainly exist on the internet. Back then, your mom's just thinking about him. It's building up.

• 33:19Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Your aunt senses it. She says some wild shit, like being kind of a... And then like, you get these explosive, out of the blue, like betrayals? Which we don't get anymore.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  No, because it's also like, you can come to terms with being a villain to like, your immediate surroundings.

• 33:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  But now, that's gonna go on TikTok.

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yes.

• 33:41Speaker 04

  Like, that would be like, you'd be the main character for the week.

• 33:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, you're right in that now. Everyone has to have PR campaigns. Back then, it's like, your dad wanted to fucking just bury your mom. And he was like, "I'm doing it."

• 33:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 33:55Stavros Halkias?

  "And then I'm fucking moving. I'm going to a different... Then even if people could get annoyed, I'm leaving the country."

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 34:01Stavros Halkias?

  And you never have to think about the evil you do ever again. That's another, that's another thing. Social media has forced us to see our mistakes forever.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Over and over.

• 34:10Stavros Halkias?

  As opposed to being able to just be like, you know what? I'm a different guy now.

• 34:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  And I think we should be able, like, I think the fact that you used to be able to

• 34:18Stavros Halkias?

  take a car, a horse to a different town thirty miles away? And say your name is now Jonathan? And that you're a fucking classics professor?

• 34:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 34:27Stavros Halkias?

  And everyone would be like, "And now, yeah, I'll be teaching Latin here." And, yeah, and just pretend you're a Latin professor in Montana?

• 34:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 34:34Stavros Halkias?

  And then, you could live like that for twenty years.

• 34:36Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:37Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's good, that we were able to get unlimited fresh starts.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  Same.

• 34:41Stavros Halkias?

  Because people could just be like, you know what? I don't really want to be a piece of shit anymore. I want to be a learned gentleman. I'm not going to college. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna buy a stove top hat.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  A little bowtie.

• 34:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna buy a bowtie and a vest. And tell people I went from, you know, I'm a lettered man. But, that's, yeah, this is an old school thing that... You let the feelings build up and you never have to actually deal with the social backlash. And I think we need, we need to be less connected so we can do more fucked up shit that makes us happy.

• 35:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 35:12Stavros Halkias?

  Ultimately, ultimately, ultimately. Cause now I think people, people really do think like everyone is a fucking, everyone is a fucking like executive and everyone is a PR, everyone is a publicist. No one is just a person. And your parents were the definition of messy people who are like, I just want to do this more than anything. I know it's gonna fuck everything up, but I don't care. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm leaving. That's fucking crazy, dude. That's fucking nuts.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's how I got here.

• 35:42Stavros Halkias?

  And so they, so they get, they get married in Jamaica. And then your dad comes over here first, you said?

• 35:48Speaker 04

  So he was already here.

• 35:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he was already here. He was just coming back.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was just like there visiting for a little bit.

• 35:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 35:54Speaker 04

  Which then makes it even more chaotic.

• 35:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's even more, that's even crazier. That'll happen with Greek people too, where uh, so like I know a lot of kids my generation where their dad is some fresh off the boat Greek guy who fucked their mom when she was on vacation and just got, and you know, they're not, they don't know about uh, the uh, they don't know about the pullout method yet. So we got a couple, like a couple of people who were like conceived on vacation in Greece. Like Greek American girls go over, you know, visit their cousins in the mountains, fuck some mountain boy and get pregnant. And they're like, well, guess you're coming to America now. That's, that happens quite a bit.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  And they just bring him?

• 36:32Stavros Halkias?

  Just bring him.

• 36:33Speaker 04

  Why? Just because of like traditional, like, well, we're gonna raise this.

• 36:35Stavros Halkias?

  Well, yeah, it's like, it's kind of traditional. It's like, you know, cause if we're talking about people my age than our fa, than my pa, than our parents were talking about, you know, people who were this, this shit's happening like the, the late seventies through the eighties type shit. So they're still kind of traditional and it is a, it for all, for how party and fun it is, it still is in weird ways can, a conservative culture.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  Even though it's very open minded, it's like with traditions, like for example, it's just the kind of thing where it's conservative in that no one really believes in God or talks about the gospel's message or anything like that, but you have to go to church. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of thing where it's like, you just kind of have to do it. We don't really believe. And probably each generation is getting less and less. But I guess so, it's, it's about, traditions are very important.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Right.

• 37:23Stavros Halkias?

  And I also think they have that thing that a lot of immigrants, I don't know if Jamaicans are the same way where it's like.

• 37:29Stavros Halkias?

  We really want you to end up with a Greek girl.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  It'll be fine if you don't, you know, and neither of my brothers did and no, and nobody ultimately gives a fuck and they're, you know, it's not like anybody looks down on them. But if I came home with a Greek girl.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:44Stavros Halkias?

  They.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  They would be ecstatic.

• 37:45Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking pumped.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:47Stavros Halkias?

  Pumped. So I think that was part of it where even to this day, sometimes like, like, like people, Greek people will just tell me like, just go to Greece and find a wife. Lily's just like, go to fucking Greece, find a fucking village girl, like bring her back. Like that's still viable for certain, like Greek town is still of, they basically a bunch of Greek people created a village in a shitty neighborhood in Baltimore.

• 38:09Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 38:09Stavros Halkias?

  And they all kinda, it is still has, it still stays a little traditional in that they're so connected to their version of what Greece is. So I don't know.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  Is that the number one Greek town in America?

• 38:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, we're probably, we're probably pretty low. I would say Astoria is pretty big.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  Oh, true, true.

• 38:26Stavros Halkias?

  Um, Detroit, I don't know if there's that many Greeks left, but they had the big diner culture. Chicago actually is a really big Greek town.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  So many amazing Greek diners in Chicago.

• 38:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  I thought that every diner was Greek until like I got to New York.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of them are though. That's the thing. It's like, that's, that's the thing. It's like, if a place doesn't have good diners, that means there's no Greek people there. Cause we fucking, we really do diners and just shitty eateries well. Um, is, did your parents go straight to Chicago or does that, cause you grew up, you grew up in Chicago, right?

• 38:54Speaker 04

  My, um, my one uncle, Hopewell.

• 38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Great name. Do you make his crush names by the way?

• 39:00Speaker 04

  Oh, so good.

• 39:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hopewell?

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 39:01Stavros Halkias?

  As a name? That's not even a phrase.

• 39:03Speaker 04

  Yes, they have like, no, exactly.

• 39:05Stavros Halkias?

  Let alone a name.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  Exactly. Like they get like the British like sounding whimsy.

• 39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  But then also like the black creativity.

• 39:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great way to put it.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  It's so good.

• 39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe that's what's confused me so much. I'm like, why am I enjoying something that is British coded?

• 39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  He was already there and then my dad came and like, joined him there.

• 39:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  And they, I think my uncle was like a barber or something. My dad was like, yeah, we'll do this. Oh no, my dad had been doing that. He started like, cutting hair when he was 12. He dropped out of school.

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, really?

• 39:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:40Stavros Halkias?

  Cool.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, my dad dropped out. He was like an apprentice woodworker at like, literally me, he dropped out of middle school.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  Really?

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  So a similar thing where he was just like, oh, I guess I'll just pick this. And just never thought about it again.

• 39:52Speaker 04

  Really?

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Was a woodworker, was like, yeah, I'm good. And he is good at it, but still, it's crazy how just people just like, yeah, this is my job now, whatever. Now we're like, fuck, everyone's like, rat, like, fuck, what should I do? My dad just, I'll just get a job that's fine and just, I'll work and then I'll fucking get fucked up with my friends and play soccer and try and fuck tourists. Simple, nice life.

• 40:12Speaker 04

  And he still is a woodworker?

• 40:14Stavros Halkias?

  Still is a woodworker. No retirement plan. I'm still like, so, how long you doing that? You, you're like, not in great shape, bro.

• 40:22Speaker 04

  What does he do? Like, uh?

• 40:23Stavros Halkias?

  He's, dude, he's an incredibly talented, like, whatever you want to do.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  Really? Oh, he'll just build like custom stuff?

• 40:29Stavros Halkias?

  He's, yeah, his stuff's been like Architectural Digest.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  Holy shit.

• 40:32Stavros Halkias?

  He's built like, he's built stuff for like, super, yeah, like, super rich people have like, he's made, he'll make bespoke anything you want.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 40:40Stavros Halkias?

  He's so fucking talented, but he's just, and there is a path where, he should just become like an Etsy store and make like, and just make like, markup shit. Like, he can make like a fucking coffee table.

• 40:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:52Stavros Halkias?

  And he could just find, design, he could just do dupe. He could just make dupes out of wood.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 40:57Stavros Halkias?

  And he would make so much fucking money.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:59Stavros Halkias?

  And I did, there was a period in my life where I was like, hey dude, I could, once I, once I graduated, or dropped out of college essentially, once I fake graduated college.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  I count that as graduating.

• 41:10Stavros Halkias?

  They let me walk.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  You self-graduated?

• 41:11Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, they let me put the cap on.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Okay, so you did it.

• 41:13Stavros Halkias?

  I graduated.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  I have, picture me with a cap and gown.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  You fucking did it.

• 41:16Stavros Halkias?

  I graduated.

• 41:19Stavros Halkias?

  But I, I was like, oh, I'll, cause I didn't want to get a job, cause I knew I wanted to do comedy and I was like 21 and I was like, look, I can work here. I'll make you a website, I'll market the fucking, like, I was really like, we can actually have, the thing he always was like, why don't you ever want to work with me? Like, and I called this bluff and he was like, nah, I'm good. He just didn't want to do it. He was like, ah, I don't want to fucking do all that bullshit. And I think he didn't want the oversight. I think he was up to, he was up to some, uh, let's just say Jamaican style, uh, monogamy, monogamy activities. Greeks and Jamaicans have that in common.

• 41:58Stavros Halkias?

  The, the culture of, uh, the flexible monogamy. With regards to the man, you know, it's like, I think he, he kinda, his, his workshop was his, was base of his social operations. Cause he had like a huge wood shop with a little office and shit. Where I think he, there was a futon in there. It's like, what do you want a futon for pops? You know what I mean?

• 42:21Speaker 04

  You're not in that.

• 42:21Stavros Halkias?

  Why is there a box of wine? Why is there Franzia in your mini fridge? Next to the brisk iced teas that you're, that you're paying day labor. Yeah. And they're like, it's so fucking, anyway, but I always did think about like, fuck, I wish, he just is so fucking talented, but you know, and I even was just like, dude, you should convert the garage into a small workshop and just fucking make little shit. But he just is addicted to his, you know, his way of, you know, whatever. But I'm trying to, I am trying to reconnect with my dad right now. And it's good. It's like, you know, just kind of an interesting.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I, cause you know, at the end of the day, it's your dad. And I don't know if you've gotten to the point of being like, just having, you know, just empathy for your parents where you're like, your lives were fucked.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  You shouldn't have, you shouldn't have had this much responsibility. You didn't know what the fuck you were doing.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  And I also just think about like me just upping and going somewhere.

• 43:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 43:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  I can barely do the paperwork required to be an American.

• 43:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right, right.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  Even this, I'm already like, this is too much.

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:26Speaker 04

  So like.

• 43:27Stavros Halkias?

  You're in a completely different country and you know what I mean? Like you at their age, starting the fuck over.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Right. I mean, I'm like approaching the age that they were when they had me. And I'm like, I don't know how the fuck you guys did that shit. Like that's crazy.

• 43:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, that makes fuck, that makes a lot of sense. Um, so, okay. So they come over here and you're fucked. So where, what's the, you clearly, are you, do you have a good relationship with your dad? How's it going now?

• 43:49Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no. It is non-existent.

• 43:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, it doesn't exist. Does he still? Did your parents split up?

• 43:54Speaker 04

  No, they're still together.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking.

• 43:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny. That, yeah, you're kind of, it's so funny how you're mirroring, because there was like, when my, when my parents were still together, there were years where I didn't speak to my dad, but talk to my mom. And it was so weird.

• 44:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:11Stavros Halkias?

  So weird.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's like when you're like, when like your friend from college, you don't like their roommate? And you're like, is Frank gonna be there?

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Right.

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  Last time, you said he wasn't gonna be there, and I showed up, and you made me fucking have lunch with him.

• 44:23Speaker 04

  Exactly, exactly. And I do have those conversations. I do 100% have those conversations. Yeah, we're all like back in Chicago, she's like, do you want to come over? I'm like, is he there?

• 44:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Who's there?

• 44:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, so who's all gonna, who's all gonna be there? Who's all hanging out right now?

• 44:40Stavros Halkias?

  I know. When you, it got to the point where I'd just be like, is he there or not, man?

• 44:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Just fucking, stop trying, stop trying to trick me.

• 44:46Speaker 04

  Right, I know, like, because like, what do you think is gonna happen?

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  Like, both people are gonna be like.

• 44:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, awesome. We've just complete, both of us became completely different people. Since the last time you tried this, four months ago. Like, do you think that's what's gonna happen? Do you think I'm straight and now when he's not, and he's not a fucking asshole?

• 45:04Speaker 04

  I'm always like, I think, I'm like, you're leaning too much on your contributions to me. Like, there's also half of him in here.

• 45:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:13Speaker 04

  So like.

• 45:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great way to, that's so funny. That is so fucking hilarious, dude. Oh, so they stayed, I would have assumed they just kind of, you know.

• 45:24Speaker 04

  Well, like.

• 45:25Stavros Halkias?

  Is it the immigrant staying together?

• 45:26Speaker 04

  That, and then they've known each other for like 60 years.

• 45:29Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  You just like are not gonna, like, switch that up.

• 45:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they probably have a good thing, they got a good thing going.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  Right, like.

• 45:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  And even if they don't, it's like, an inexplicable thing going, you know what I mean?

• 45:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, maybe not good.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, or I don't even know.

• 45:45Stavros Halkias?

  Established.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  Exactly. It's so established, and it's like so familiar. I'd do the same thing.

• 45:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  I would.

• 45:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, are you, are you thinking about that? You think about just staying in a toxic marriage for?

• 45:56Speaker 04

  I feel like five decades in.

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  I am, actually.

• 46:00Stavros Halkias?

  I think I would, yeah, I guess I just would never get to that point.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's the thing that is very shocking about, like. I don't know what it was about, why so many people just kind of, I guess people just didn't dream to think about anything better? Is it that simple? Is it just like, oh, you know, you fucking get married and then you fucking-

• 46:19Speaker 04

  Well, I feel like our generation is the first to like seriously take time and be like, "Am I enjoying my life?"

• 46:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, to even have that as a true thought.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:31Stavros Halkias?

  Other than when you're on like a weekend trip. Like, people would only let that sneak through when they're getting fucked. That's why, that's why there's that whole thing of like, oh, when you, you're drunk, you say the craziest stuff. It's because no one was ever honest with themselves. So they just like gave, they gave themselves that window of like, "I'm drunk, I hate everything about my life fundamentally, ha, ha, ha, ha." And then you go away, and then you're hungover the next day, like, "Whoa, that was a crazy night. I said some stuff I didn't mean." Anyway, back to the fucking office and my wife who hates me. I think you're right. This is kind of the first time that that's even a thing.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, like everyone before us was very plot first. Where it's like, "I'm just getting to the next point."

• 47:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, life is just a series of checkpoints.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 47:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now, and it's a combination of, we have the most time and also the least resources as a generation where it's like, we can't even have-

• 47:28Speaker 04

  Right.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of people who probably would just fucking, "Oh, get married and have a fucking, what, ki-" like, they can't even, I mean, they're having kids, they can't afford them or whatever, but they can't afford a house, they can't afford this other shit. So people are like, "All right." It kind of forces you to become like a island nation with a bad economy and just be like, "Having a good time." When Gre- it's like Greece or Jama- millennials are, have to live like Greeks and Jamaicans.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  We were born for this.

• 47:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we really, really were.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  We are so ready for this shit.

• 47:56Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, when I went to Greece in the, in the middle of the economic crisis, everyone was pissed, but they were still getting fucked up and having a good time. It was crazy how much better the vibes were in Greece. When everyone's pensions are getting slashed, no one can, people literally 18 through 40 can't find jobs. And everyone's just like, they're like- They act like how like we would act if like it like, uh, you know, if it rained for three days in a row. Like they were like, they had the, they were like, as a nation, they were mad the way we'd be mad about bad weather. And it's like, that's fucking awesome, dude.

• 48:30Speaker 04

  That's sick. I wish that for us.

• 48:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, it's possible. I do sometimes think about just going back, baby. I think about a Greek, a Greek retirement. That would be really nice. Did you go a lot? Did they, did you go to Jamaica a lot or no?

• 48:43Speaker 04

  So I went when I was five.

• 48:46Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  And then like when my third brother was born, it was like, we were too broke for all that. So then we didn't go back until I was 25 and I took my mom and my brothers.

• 48:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  And then I went back again a few more times after that and I'm kind of overdue. I want to go again.

• 49:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, for sure.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:03Stavros Halkias?

  I like, yeah, I mean, there is, there's that thing. I found this thing where I'm like, oh, I love this place with Greece. I used to, you have a complicated relationship just because it's, you have all your family baggage, but then when you realize like, oh, I could just come here by myself.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  I can just have a good ass time on the beach and fucking, you know, whatever. You have a bunch of family there still or no?

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, a lot of family, yeah.

• 49:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  One of my, um, uncles has like 40 kids.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  And I'm not even.

• 49:34Stavros Halkias?

  Respect. Respect.

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  Real bad man.

• 49:42Stavros Halkias?

  Real rude boy.

• 49:45Stavros Halkias?

  And the rude boy of the year goes to.

• 49:50Stavros Halkias?

  Goes, goes to Hopewell.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  Goes, goes to Chauncey Hopewell Livingston the third.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  Oh, my fucking god.

• 50:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome, dude. Fuck. I gotta check it out. I gotta. I do wanna go to the Caribbean. I've just never, I think, I went to Jamaica on like a fucking senior trip. And I got sun poisoning. And it was, and it was like, and like the least famous road rules. Like the celebrity guest was like some guy who was on Real World. And he was just like a grown man trying to fuck teenagers. It was like, it was the most disgusting trip I've ever been on, but you know, I'm not gonna fault Jamaica for a weird teen, a teen resort thing, where I saved all my money working at a telemarketing firm. So that I could go, I was like, I'm gonna get pussy in Jamaica. It's gonna be awesome. And then I just got sun poisoning. While everybody else did get pussy. It's actually still, the way I think about Mamma Mia.

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  And how different my life is if we get Mamma Mia on that vacation with my ex. Sometimes I think, what if I didn't get sun poisoning? Because literally that night, that night would have been the night that changed my life.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 51:04Stavros Halkias?

  I would have been, I would have gotten, I would have gotten some head at eighteen instead of in college. You know, I would have, I think it would have solved everything.

• 51:13Speaker 04

  That would have really set you off.

• 51:14Stavros Halkias?

  I really think so. I think it would have made me a less, a person who cares about, cuz there is the like, you just have to come to grips as an adult, as a straight adult man who's, as a, as a recovering incel, right? When you, this struggle is to be like, look, man, no matter what you do, you're never gonna go back in time and get pussy at sixteen. So just stop. You can fuck as many girls at thirty, in your thirties as you want. It's never gonna make you cool in high school.

• 51:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 51:44Stavros Halkias?

  But sometimes I do think like, what if I just, and not even, it's not like I wasn't cool, just like, I just couldn't get over the like, you know, just like, I just, I want, I just was so, I just felt like such an inadequate loser that I think you spend a lot of your years trying to prove you're actually cool. And then it's like, this, what are you really getting out of this? You know what I mean? Like, so sometimes I think like, what if I had, but what if I had just, what if I never even think about that? And I got to fuck, and, and I've said this story before on the podcast, but all of my friends hooked up with somebody and there was one chubby girl that nobody fucked. And I was like, it's cartoon rules. Everybody gets the one, Alvin, Alvin, the chipmunks girlfriends just look like girl verses of them.

• 52:28Stavros Halkias?

  There was like some like kinda like, and she was, it was like, it was hysterical. I was like, fuck, that literally is like, if you would draw my cartoon girlfriend, it's like a fucking tan girl with big titties and a little, ah, I still think about her sometimes. Just a random girl.

• 52:43Speaker 04

  Wait, so you never did?

• 52:44Stavros Halkias?

  I never did.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  Oh, whoa.

• 52:46Stavros Halkias?

  The next day, they just like showed me pictures. They were like, dude, check it out. They like group pics with everybody and they were like, dude, check out this girl. There's nobody to fuck her. You could have fucked her. And I literally have thought about that girl forever.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 52:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's just like a girl, I think I made-

• 53:00Speaker 04

  Where does she know?

• 53:01Stavros Halkias?

  Lord knows. I have no way of figuring this out. Probably, it's probably not looking too good if we're being honest.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 53:08Stavros Halkias?

  I look like this and I'm rich.

• 53:12Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think she fucking looks like?

• 53:18Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think my fucking Baltimore class, it wasn't, it was a different school. It wasn't our school.

• 53:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:23Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, nah, I'm not. I'm doing better. I'm in a different situation now.

• 53:26Speaker 04

  Do you feel like you still would have done comedy?

• 53:29Stavros Halkias?

  I think I ultimately would have done comedy, but sometimes I'm like, would I have just been like a fucking, like the most fun lawyer in Baltimore? You know what I mean? Like would I have been the like, cause I also tried to do like, were you, were you, did you try and do anything before? Were you, I mean, you were really young. I feel like you were doing, you were getting shit going really young.

• 53:47Speaker 04

  I started doing standup when I was 19.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  Um, and I wanted to be a lawyer for a long time and then I took AP English and AP US, my junior year, and I was like, okay, if this makes me wanna kill myself, no.

• 54:02Speaker 04

  What am I gonna do in law school?

• 54:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  Then I was like, let's start rethinking that.

• 54:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  Um, but yeah, that like funniest lawyer, that really speaks to me.

• 54:12Stavros Halkias?

  I really think-

• 54:12Speaker 04

  You see it, do you ever see like closeted standup comedians out where you're like-

• 54:16Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, they're happy.

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's how life should be.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:20Stavros Halkias?

  We have turned what should be the mirth you give your friends and family. We've commodified it. I really think it's a problem. I really do. My whole life is fucked up.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 54:31Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm stuck. I can't change now, but I really think you're better off, like even joy. Really what stand up is just like cracking up your friends podcast. I mean, we, we're not even doing stand up anymore. We're like, uh, the economy is run on podcasts, which is just having a pleasant convo with your friends and making each other laugh. Why aren't we just do, why are there mics here, Jaboukie? Why aren't we outside having fucking coffee and talking about our dads and not pulling any punches? Cause the cameras are here, but we have made it so our careers depend on this.

• 55:04Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 55:04Stavros Halkias?

  And sometimes I think like, yeah, I was so much happier when I wanted to get laughs. Cause I'm pouring that energy into my community. You know what I mean? Like I'm pouring that into making everybody happy. I'm looking to make people laugh.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:15Stavros Halkias?

  And yeah, I'm, I'm scratching my selfish itch.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:18Stavros Halkias?

  But at the same time.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  It's mutually beneficial.

• 55:20Stavros Halkias?

  Every, yeah. And now obviously there's very bad versions of that.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:24Stavros Halkias?

  When a guy, the guy who can't stop riffing, tough guy. There's, there's, yeah, they, they exist, but what are you gonna do?

• 55:32Speaker 04

  The best case scenario is the guy who can't stop riffing knows he's bombing, but it's so compulsive for him that he has to keep going.

• 55:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:38Speaker 04

  And then it like kind of loops back around to being funny again.

• 55:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Cause now you're like, stop. Yeah. You could just be like, dude, we got it and he can't help himself. Those are funny guys.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. But that's really the only time I can accept it.

• 55:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When it's, when it is like a type of Tourette's.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:52Stavros Halkias?

  When it's, when it just is a type of Tourette's.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, riff Tourette's is bad. Yeah, I don't know, dude. I do, I do think my life would have gone in a different, uh, in a different direction, but I don't know. Do you ever feel that, is there any kind of like, where do you, what do you like? You know, were you always like creative growing up? Were you like, did you want to do shit like this? Were you into, what were you into at all? Cause I, for me, it really was kinda, it is kinda sad how one note I am where it's like, I was a comedy nerd. All I thought about was stand up. I've dedicated my life to it and it, all, all the time growing up, I was like, this is a huge advantage. And I do think it was in terms of doing what I love, but it's a disadvantage in that the rest of my life is kind of not as developed because I poured everything into that.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:37Stavros Halkias?

  So I don't know, what do you, how did you find? Cause again, you do, you, yeah, you started doing it when you were 19 and now, I mean, I started when I was 19, but for, uh, 10 years, no one cared about me. And you started when you were 19 and you did the Tonight Show in like, you know, nine months. So we, so we have different, and I'm, that's not me shitting on you. I've, even when we met, I would, you know, like, I always thought you were funny. Because you know, dude, when a 19 year old starts getting stuff. You know, open micers are trashing them.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 57:03Stavros Halkias?

  But I was a defender, cuz I was just like, this kid's funny, dude. It was like, yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  Stand-up comedians are the most hateful people.

• 57:09Stavros Halkias?

  They are.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  On earth.

• 57:10Stavros Halkias?

  Well, because it's like, there's no, uh, like, I, I actually, we might have met at Sidney and Marie's show in that hookah bar. Do you remember that?

• 57:18Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 57:19Stavros Halkias?

  This was like, 10 years ago.

• 57:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:21Stavros Halkias?

  The fucking Karma? Karma Lounge?

• 57:23Speaker 04

  Karma Lounge!

• 57:24Stavros Halkias?

  I think it was Karma Lounge.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 57:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was Sidney and Marie's show. Yeah. And cuz, cuz I think, cuz you were big on Twitter.

• 57:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:31Stavros Halkias?

  And everyone did, and by the way, when, when we, when I watched you, I was like, let's see how I feel about him. Cuz I wasn't going in hating, but if, part of me was hoping you'd bomb, so I could, so I could hate you. So I could join in and be like, this fucking industry plant piece of shit. You know what I mean? Like, don't get me wrong, I was looking to hate you, but I was just, but I would, but I at least was like, alright. But I did, this, again, pathetically being like, stand-up, being funny matters more than anything. It's a pathetic code to have, but it is my code, and there's nothing I can do about it.

• 58:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. And I still kinda stand by that.

• 58:06Stavros Halkias?

  I do too, like.

• 58:07Speaker 04

  And then I also do think, I'm like, there is something to being likable.

• 58:10Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  And there is something to just being a crowd pleaser, for sure.

• 58:13Stavros Halkias?

  But that's also part of it.

• 58:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:15Stavros Halkias?

  Like, the fact that we're pretending that's not all part of it.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  Right.

• 58:18Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, yeah, when I was coming up, I hated energetic, great performers, cuz I was a fat writer. Who just, was just like, had like a, I had to get through my 15 jokes in order.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  Right.

• 58:30Stavros Halkias?

  And, and then I realized, like, no, don't hate, like, learn from them. Yeah, they're not good writers, fine. You're not a good performer.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:37Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking do both. Like, the, the goal is to do, and, and also to find what's worthwhile in every other, in everybody's, like, style.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:45Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz I think when you start stand-up, at least for me, you really just care about, you just wanna be, you like the people who are exactly like you, or who you've modeled yourself around. And then the more you get into it, you're like, no, I like, you realize, like, oh, no, I'm, I actually tired of, I wanna be the best version of me, so I actually wanna destroy everyone who's like me. And I need, and then I want to make friends with the best versions of whoever they are.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 59:11Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 59:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:12Stavros Halkias?

  And so I do think there's a shift that happens at, you know, for me, it was like literally 12 years into standup. But anyway, so the point is, you're very good at getting me to just fucking not follow up on a question by asking me something. Feeding into my ego with good questions.

• 59:26Speaker 04

  Well, also to feed into your ego, I feel like I love, um, in the same way that you're like, I love watching people and being like, what is the thing that they're really great at? You are so like embodied on stage.

• 59:38Stavros Halkias?

  I appreciate that. Thank you.

• 59:39Speaker 04

  Really, and I feel like that's why you, like, anytime you do crowd work, it's so lived in and it's so like.

• 59:46Stavros Halkias?

  I really appreciate that. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 59:49Speaker 04

  It's so impressive to me.

• 59:51Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, man. That's my, my true goal, like, all I've tried to do with standup is fe, like, my, what I'm trying to get to is be the exact same guy on and off.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:00:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's my, the, my, that's been my like North Star with standup where it's like, I want there to be no difference. Like, I want to be, and actually, you think what's gonna be hard is to be as comfortable, the hard part is to be as comfortable offstage. Onstage is easy.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's actually so true.

• 1:00:20Stavros Halkias?

  You know everything you're gonna say. Yeah, yeah, and it's like, kind of melding, gaining the, the, but I appreciate that because like, I do, I do think that's, that's what I'm chasing, that's what I'm, just like, cause I think at the end of the day, the, the superpower of standup is authenticity. There's a thousand better mediums. There's a thousand, every medium is more artistically worthwhile. But you can, the thing we can do that other people can't do is legit, is truly open up and, and in the room, in the moment, actually be a person you're connecting to, not create a piece of art that later gets interacted with, that you hope some of that comes through.

• 1:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  And it's still very hard for standup because it's very easy to be artificial and to just only chase the laugh or whatever. And it's hard to sometimes, and sometimes it goes the other way where sometimes I think some of these specials are too, um, Self referential, whatever, or too about the performer and not about giving a good performance.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:01:19Stavros Halkias?

  That can happen too. But I don't know, I do, I do think my main thing is always trying to be like, can I just be exactly the same guy?

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  I feel like you do a great job.

• 1:01:27Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, I appreciate that, but, and you did it again, in the middle of me telling you, you're doing a good job of fucking not making me ask you questions. Everyone's always like, Stav talks too much, this episode they're gonna be like, cool Jaboukie fucking interviewed Stav. I feel like you've talked like, you know, you're getting me dude, but, uh, yeah, I guess the question was just like going back to that, like, yeah, what did you ever, what did you even see for yourself? Cause I do feel like shit started going well for you so fast that you never even had to think about, what do I do if this doesn't work?

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  No, I, um, I was a comedy nerd from like eight years old. Like I would watch the Comedy Central Presents, memorize jokes and then

• 1:02:08Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Go to school, before school, I would like try to slip jokes in a conversation.

• 1:02:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Speaker 04

  People would laugh, I would like, like, I could watch Family Guy and so many other kids could not, so I would like watch Family Guy, memorize the plot of Family Guy and then be like, okay, so Meg is doing this, but then Brian does this and then Brian is like, like, and I would just

• 1:02:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's incredible.

• 1:02:33Speaker 04

  Recite Family Guy plots, I was just like obsessed with.

• 1:02:36Stavros Halkias?

  We had a South Park kid like that.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:02:38Stavros Halkias?

  When we couldn't get to South Park, yeah. He was just, he told me what happened in South Park. Eldis actually was that for me, cause his fucking parents let him watch whatever the fuck.

• 1:02:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, they didn't give a fuck.

• 1:02:47Stavros Halkias?

  His parents were like, we survived, we fucking fled, we were, we were targets of the communist government in Albania. We don't care if he sees tits on TV. So Eldis was kind of my entry point, my mom was very overprotective, but his parent, I could watch whatever at his house.

• 1:03:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, I remember one time I was in my mom's room with her and I was just like watching South Park on her bed on the TV in there and my landlord is just like swings by, he's saying hi, he's chatting with her, she's like doing her

• 1:03:13Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like nine.

• 1:03:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was like nine years old, like young as fuck, she's just like doing her hair in the mirror and like chatting with him and then he was, he kept like looking over at me, he was like, you know, he really shouldn't be watching that. And my mom either like didn't understand or didn't care, didn't like pick up the nuance of like his concern for a little child watching South Park. He said it a couple more times as she like kept talking and I was like, shut the fuck up, man, let me be over here.

• 1:03:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's so funny. One time he also snitched on me because I was like just watching Titanic when he like came by. And he just like rose his tits around. I was just like, and he like did tell my parents about that. I was like, what the fuck?

• 1:04:00Stavros Halkias?

  What a fucking narc. I know. Yeah, that's, Elvis was big on kill all landlords. Elvis was a fuck, Elvis was a fucking Maoist before he knew it because the landlord tried to stop him from looking at tits. Yeah, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, dude, that's fucking, that, that, so you, you just had that going and then, you know, that's, that's fun though. So, so I guess that kinda, that probably is probably happening to you now where you're like, what the fuck do I even want my life to look like?

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, I thought that like now would be the time where it'd be like, okay, maybe like by 30 I'll start getting like, you know, acting roles or maybe I'll get my first writing job or something.

• 1:04:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:04:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, I don't know.

• 1:04:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm just like, my goal was I want to be able to make a living doing comedy.

• 1:04:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  And I did that.

• 1:04:43Stavros Halkias?

  Same.

• 1:04:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:43Stavros Halkias?

  Where I was like, I hope I can make 70 grand a year, working the shittiest clubs in America.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  That was all I ever hoped for. So it is like, uh, yeah, now you're like, now you have to ascribe meaning.

• 1:04:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:55Stavros Halkias?

  To your life where you're like, oh, success doesn't make you happy.

• 1:04:58Speaker 04

  Well, it was.

• 1:04:59Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't, really doesn't.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 1:05:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:01Speaker 04

  It wasn't until I, um, learned about like the alt comedy Brooklyn scene.

• 1:05:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  In like the early 2010s, mid 2010s where I was like, oh, so I could for real do this.

• 1:05:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 04

  If we're doing this like liberal arts educated.

• 1:05:14Stavros Halkias?

  Jamaican in Chicago.

• 1:05:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, bitch, I'm gonna clean up.

• 1:05:17Stavros Halkias?

  Here's about, here's about alt comedy.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:19Stavros Halkias?

  Here's about the fucking American apparel hoodie, hoodie era of comedy. Oh, you must have been fucking salivating.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  I was so fucking ready to go to Brooklyn. I was so fucking ready. And it was so funny because by the time I got here, I like.

• 1:05:32Stavros Halkias?

  You left immediately. Did you move to LA?

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was here for like a year and then I moved to LA.

• 1:05:38Stavros Halkias?

  I met you at that show. I was like, oh, that kid's cool actually. And then by the time I even knew it, you were like in LA already, but. You're here now, baby.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Hey.

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• 1:06:01Speaker 05

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• 1:06:26Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, why don't we, why don't we try and ascribe some meaning into our dull lives, into our meaningless existence by helping, helping our callers? What do you say?

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  Ooh, yes.

• 1:06:34Stavros Halkias?

  What do you say, Jaboukie?

• 1:06:35Speaker 04

  I love these clips so much.

• 1:06:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get in there. And in the meantime, go see Jaboukie on tour. We'll, we'll post the stuff. We're, we're reminding you here. Go, go check him out. See, uh, follow him on Instagram, all that stuff. Hit us with a call here, LD.

• 1:06:50Speaker 05

  Hey, Subs. Hey, Elders. Hello, gorgeous guests. I have a situation here. I'm, uh, curious to get your opinion on. So recently I was talking to this guy on Grindr, talking about coming over to give him some head.

• 1:07:02Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  He sends me a dick pic. I am down. He won't send me a face picture. He says he's down low and attached. So, straight married, cheating on his wife.

• 1:07:13Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. None of your business.

• 1:07:16Speaker 05

  Kind of fucked up with me, but I'm still down.

• 1:07:18Stavros Halkias?

  AKA, none of your fucking business. Get in the Altima and suck his dick and shut the fuck up. So he does kind of address this point here. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

• 1:07:30Speaker 05

  Obviously, kind of fucked up with me, but I'm still down. I ended up getting a face picture out of him. My moral justification for this is that he's got to explore his queer side. Something he's not getting out of his marriage. He's gonna be doing it with someone else, else if it's not me.

• 1:07:46Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:07:48Speaker 05

  Also, I'm just really horny.

• 1:07:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let's fuck.

• 1:07:50Speaker 05

  You know, making justification for it. So I go over there to his house.

• 1:07:55Stavros Halkias?

  And we all know, by the way, it's really hard to find people to blow anonymously.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  That aren't married. Oh, but you would have to do this two more times.

• 1:08:06Speaker 04

  The other thing too is people will say that and they're lying. They're chopped. And they're trying, and they're trying to do like, they're trying to paint a picture and a narrative so they could like boost what really is not that sellable.

• 1:08:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that makes sense.

• 1:08:18Speaker 04

  I one hundred percent like.

• 1:08:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's genius. Mark, you want to talk about genius marketing? Call back to when the cameras weren't rolling. Like, why the fuck are they laughing at that? Hey, fuck you guys. Sorry. But no, you want to talk about genius, Mark? If you have a bad product, now you can say, if I show this guy my face, I might not get head. But if I tell him, uh, sorry, I'm, uh, you know, I'm, I'm figuring stuff out, you know, my wife, whatever. And he gets there and I'm ugly, he's already there.

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:49Stavros Halkias?

  If you're there, you're gonna suck his dick and be like, god damn. That's what's cool about gay guys.

• 1:08:55Speaker 04

  Well, and the other thing too is like, it's social proof. It's like, well, she thought he was hot enough to marry him. So like, I mean, I guess like, he has a family.

• 1:09:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has some value. He has some societal value. That's really funny that these guys lie about that. Okay, interesting. Uh, is there more to this, Elvis?

• 1:09:14Speaker 05

  She's acting super weird. I kind of want to leave right off the bat. Honestly, he's kind of freaking out. He's like, you might have to leave out the back door if we hear the, if we hear the car come up the driveway. And his, his, his dog, his dog is super cute. I'm like, damn, this is, this is where he lives with his, his wife and his dog.

• 1:09:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're in the house?

• 1:09:34Speaker 05

  I don't leave though. I'm like, I already said I would come here and do this. I'm already here. Let's do it. So we're getting into it. I'm sucking his dick.

• 1:09:42Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:09:42Speaker 05

  I look over to the living room and I see a photo of him and his partner.

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  In a frame of a living room table and it's a man.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  What did I say? What did I fucking say? I call this shit. I knew it. And when he said his dog was there, I was like, I bet it's a fucking Jack Russell terrier. I bet. I know what the fuck. Like, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

• 1:10:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, hey, come on. Gay men can still cheat.

• 1:10:10Stavros Halkias?

  Let's, let's not get so woke that we're homophobic, alright?

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  No, I bet that's possible.

• 1:10:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's possible for gay men to cheat. It's rare. It's rare. This guy is the one gay guy in America in a non-open marriage. But maybe that's what's go- maybe you can be a traditional gay scumbag, you know? It's not just for straight guys. That's really fucking funny.

• 1:10:33Speaker 04

  I really think that the husband was in the closet, like jerking off, watching the entire thing, like.

• 1:10:38Stavros Halkias?

  He's asking for my face. Uh, tell him you're married to a girl. His husband's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, we don't want this.

• 1:10:45Speaker 04

  It's really just like the guy, like, works at Palantir and is afraid of his, like, nudes getting out or something like that.

• 1:10:51Stavros Halkias?

  I bet you there's so men- so much more of that gonna start happening. People lying about being ICE and Palantir and all this shit. I hope so, anyway. Fuck the- all those people should- I won't say what should happen to people that work for ICE and Palantir, but something should happen to them. Let's keep going, Aldous. He's gay married. He's not straight married.

• 1:11:13Stavros Halkias?

  I immediately feel sick to my stomach. His exasperation is awesome. Sick to my stomach. I don't leave even then. I still finish.

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 1:11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sick to my stomach. I don't leave even then. I still finish.

• 1:11:26Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:11:27Stavros Halkias?

  Finish what I'm doing. In your mid-suck job. I leave feeling like a big piece of shit. Just feeling gross about myself. So I guess I'm wondering, am I? Am I stupid for thinking that there's a difference between like their moral gray area between the gay cheating and the straight cheating? This is awesome. Cause I left there being like, why, you know, why did I feel so much worse knowing that he was actually married to a man? And not a woman. It's uh still cheating at the end of the day. Anyways, let me know what you're saying. This is awesome. This is an awesome philosophical quandary.

• 1:12:10Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 1:12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay. I have a couple angles. Do you have anything you want to jump in on?

• 1:12:14Speaker 04

  Okay, um, this is so like psychologically rich.

• 1:12:17Stavros Halkias?

  It's so rich. So first of all, let's start with this.

• 1:12:20Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:12:22Stavros Halkias?

  The whole, well, maybe he's finding himself, let's throw that out the fucking window. That's a, you know, that's bullshit. So let's just, let's just take it from, you know, you, there's no, the difference here isn't going to be that you're maybe helping a closeted man figure his shit out. This, this was not a, this guy has a system, even if this is a guy, he's on Grindr.

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:12:44Stavros Halkias?

  He's no, he's saying, he's saying, he's using gay link, like hookup app link, this is not his first, maybe if you met a shy guy and like you had a weird like kind of thing at the office and he showed some interest and you had like a kind of cute, you suck him, you suck his dick and he busts so fast, like this guy's gay. Maybe, maybe you could say, you know, if it comes up kind of naturally without meaning to sort of like romantic comedy style, maybe you have a leg to stand on there and he's never done it, you know, whatever, and he's, and he's really experimenting, maybe. That, but other than that, I don't think so. So now we're just discussing, why does it make you feel worse that you, now maybe is

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  it, uh, you know, is this, uh, you, maybe are you a misogynist? Were you- Happy to feel, make a woman feel bad, but didn't want to make another gay guy feel bad. That's one angle. That's one possible angle. Other than that, is it that you don't feel as special? That you don't feel like, it was like, well, he fucking, he gets sucked by guys all the time. He gets sucked by his husband.

• 1:13:52Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 1:13:53Stavros Halkias?

  Like, when you're like, when you're the like, oh, you're the object of his uncontrollable sexual passion? That he's risking his, uh, a- and, you know what? This is sort of like, the other angle is, you are destroying traditional values by sucking a married guy's dick. You are actually, you are actually harming the patriarchy and the, like, in a way where, like, tangibly, score one for the gay guys when you suck off a married straight guy, right? That, maybe that's it. Maybe you're like, what the fuck? We didn't even get a point. We didn't even get a point on straight people now. You're just, now you're just a side bitch.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:14:34Stavros Halkias?

  And, and you have, your usual standards, ooh, your usual standards, you've let this guy, the fantasy of being the like tantalizing, you know, uh, uh, hook up for him, that goes against his, his, his whole way of life. You let him, you, you, it sounds like this guy usually needs a face pic, needs more info, needs whatever. You let go of all of that for the promise of being, there's a, it's charged to you to be this object of desire that he can't help himself, whereas like, if he's gay, he's just cheating.

• 1:15:14Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:14Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:15:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:15:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're just a fuck, you're just someone who came over and sucked an anonymous guy's dick with, and by the way, who cares? But also, I, that to me, the, some, some of these ideas are percolating up for me.

• 1:15:26Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. I think that, along with the gay guy cheating thing, it's like, that situation specifically, it's so unsexy because gay guy cheating is so cowardly. Cause it's like, It's like, you guys are probably already some version of open. And all you had to do was have one difficult conversation. And you don't even wanna do that. Like, come on. Like, there's not that many stakes. Like, there's no kids, it's just a dog.

• 1:15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:51Speaker 04

  Like, what are you really losing?

• 1:15:53Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  I also need to know what this location is. Like, it depends on where in the country this is.

• 1:15:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point. Do we have, do we have a area code, Eldis? And of course, area codes mean nothing, I still, but, you know, and we'll bleep this out, this is just for us. Yes, we are in...

• 1:16:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, come on.

• 1:16:11Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:16:12Stavros Halkias?

  Ton of gay people over there, right?

• 1:16:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, there is, but then I'm also thinking of the grid, and it's like, how would he be able to get away with it? Like, if he's in the gay community at all?

• 1:16:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true, true, true.

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  Like, his friends might see, or like, what was his profile?

• 1:16:25Stavros Halkias?

  Cowardly chea- that's so funny to call a cow- you're right. He's, there's no stakes here.

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if, if his hu- if his wife comes in and you're sucking his dick, she's like, "Ah!" She's, she's breaking. She's like, "How could you?" His husband comes in, he's like, "Eric, are you serious, man?"

• 1:16:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:42Stavros Halkias?

  "You're getting your dicks, I th- I was supposed to cheat today. Today's my cheating day." And he's like, "I know, but I just really wanted my dick sucked, and you, and you just got your wisdom teeth out, and you're not allowed to suck dick for another week, so..." Like, it, it becau- it's the difference between like, an earth-shattering, gay guys-loving drama. It's the difference between true drama.

• 1:17:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:17:03Stavros Halkias?

  And like, ugh, just in a no- going to the DMV.

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  This is my other thing too, in terms of drama, is the guy feeling stupid because he was mad that it wasn't a woman. It's like, no, you're stupid because you couldn't tell that this guy was acting. And like, was like, "Wait, no, wait, listen for the car, listen for the-" it's like, that's a gay guy. That's a gay guy. Like, you're falling for it.

• 1:17:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  And then all-

• 1:17:25Stavros Halkias?

  You do the li- he sends you a live picture of his dick, you press it, and there's fucking Gloria Estefan behind it. He's just in a show tune, the live pic just fucking has the fucking, the fucking, uh, think of a fucking musical chorus line, is that one? It says that playing in the background. You're like, "Oh, this guy's straight as hell."

• 1:17:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, there's like, a fucking Eames chair and shit, like, in the living room. Like, there's fucking, just like, stainless steel countertops and shit, like, everything's so cold.

• 1:17:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right. There's no, there's no wine, it's wine o'clock somewhere signs. There's no-

• 1:18:03Stavros Halkias?

  There's no framed Taylor Swift albums on the wall. There's no fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great point. So, yeah, what was his question? Is he wrong for feeling this way?

• 1:18:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's wondering if there's like, what are the moral implications of like, feeling more hurt that, you know, the guy is gay married and not straight married?

• 1:18:25Speaker 04

  Well, then you know what I think is to his point, like, is something real is that if a guy was straight married, then it's like, well, this is all a ruse to begin with, and I'm experiencing the only real thing that he has. Whereas if it's a gay marriage, then it's like, oh, but he's supposed to really be in love with this guy.

• 1:18:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:44Speaker 04

  So I think there's that.

• 1:18:46Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, it's like, yeah, you're now, the way we're saying before cheating on a woman's, sucking a woman's husband's dick is scoring one for the straight, for the gay guys. Now it's gay on gay crime. You know what I mean? Now you're fucking, now you're breaking, now you're breaking the fucking, you know, you're breaking the heart of some fuck, you know, I don't know who this guy's husband is. Some, some, some Chasin Buttigieg style guy. You know, whatever the fuck that guy is.

• 1:19:13Speaker 04

  Smiling with his Warby Parkers on.

• 1:19:16Speaker 04

  So sincere.

• 1:19:17Stavros Halkias?

  I know. And the fact, and it also could be, now another element is, now what if he does go in there and it is what we were making fun of? It does have the fucking, in the wine o'clock somewhere. It is, what if not only did you cheat with a guy who is gay, he's a corny

• 1:19:36Stavros Halkias?

  guy? What if you, what if you sucked off a guy who works for, he's gay, but he works for Deloitte?

• 1:19:42Stavros Halkias?

  Because at least if you were cheating with a gay guy, it's like, alright, he's wearing a mesh tank top. He's got, I'm looking at if there's a fun art installation. We're listening to some fun music. But you are listening to fucking, you know what I mean? You're, you're, Michael Bublé is playing, you know what I mean? It's like, what if you, now maybe that's part of it. You are, again, you're down to do, to suck a corny guy's dick if this is the real, the realness. But now you found somebody who, his reality, you are the most disposable thing in his reality, and his reality is embarrassing to be a part of. That's another element.

• 1:20:19Speaker 04

  And I think the other thing too is every gay man, when he gets on an app, he is first and foremost a storyteller.

• 1:20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Crafting a narrative.

• 1:20:31Speaker 04

  Crafting his own narrative.

• 1:20:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  When he gets a picture, he's crafting a narrative about that person. It's like, that's all you have during a hookup. So like.

• 1:20:40Stavros Halkias?

  Right, because you don't know them.

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  No, right. It's like, what else are you going off of? Like, it either has to purely be what you are looking at body-wise, or like some narrative that you have cooked up. So like, they could make one wrong move.

• 1:20:53Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, I really would have thought it's pure body.

• 1:20:55Speaker 04

  For most people.

• 1:20:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, salute to gay guys and their creativity. For having to craft the narrative where it's like, I would assume it's like, nice, I'm gonna suck that guy's dick and not even think this deeply about it. But, you know, this is nice. I'm a little, I'm learning, you know?

• 1:21:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:11Stavros Halkias?

  Because I, because gay, because when you, when you try and put your, when as a straight guy, you try and conceive of what gay hookup culture is, it's so hard not to think like, that's so sick. Because it's like, because it's like, you're so hard not to just be like, because what I'm imagining is just like, a hundred hot girls want to fuck me. You know what I mean? And it's like, that is all, the idea that that's possible, and I don't even have to, I just show them a picture of my dick.

• 1:21:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's all I have to do.

• 1:21:41Speaker 04

  Well, is that for you because you're straight? You know, so you have that narrative.

• 1:21:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right, I guess that's true.

• 1:21:48Speaker 04

  Like, you could have pulled that guy so fucking easy.

• 1:21:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:51Speaker 04

  I mean, he listens, so he maybe wants to, like.

• 1:21:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, that is true. I probably could get this guy to suck my dick.

• 1:21:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:21:58Stavros Halkias?

  No disrespect, so I don't, I know my callers are my friends first and foremost. I don't mean to sexualize you that blatantly.

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  Like, every straight guy is like, you have a six-month window where you could probably fuck some of the hottest gay men in the world. Just off the strength of being straight. And a lot of gay men will try to pretend like that's not true, and that they have self-esteem higher than that. And you might be the select few that that's true for, but there are so many where that's not true.

• 1:22:25Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like a feather in your cap.

• 1:22:27Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:22:27Stavros Halkias?

  To like, like, the way like, uh, like, what you'll hear, like, uh, guy misogynist talk about lesbians where like, they just haven't had the right dick yet. It's basically a gay guy being like, he hasn't had the right, the right pussy.

• 1:22:43Speaker 04

  Exactly. And they'll be like, I'm gonna be the one.

• 1:22:45Stavros Halkias?

  So that might be, that's another element here. A fundamental element of this is that, yes, you've lost that and now it's just some gay guy.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  Cause every-

• 1:22:52Stavros Halkias?

  Now you just suck some gay guy's dick.

• 1:22:56Speaker 04

  Pedestrian.

• 1:22:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:58Speaker 04

  Just plain.

• 1:22:59Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, but you know what I will say about our caller here? He really gave us a lot, there was a lot of meat on that bone.

• 1:23:03Speaker 04

  That was great.

• 1:23:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's a lot, that's a lot. That's a great quandary. Salute to you, my friend, and you know, hopefully you're sucking off either, you know, a cooler gay guys or, you know, just straight men who really are harming their wife by hooking up with you, man.

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  Or maybe he met the husband and, you know, they're equally as hot and he loves hooking up with both of them.

• 1:23:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's fun, that would be great. That's another, that's another huge element of gay culture I'm very jealous of. Imagine if there was just, and again, this doesn't work because you're all the same guy, right? Like whatever. It's, but I'm like, damn, what if I could just fucking, just two hot girls were dating and I could just fuck both? And I could just be like, they're like, and then they date me together sometimes. Like gay guys, that seems fun.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  I have a friend who did that and then the two women ended up getting married and then he was-

• 1:23:55Stavros Halkias?

  I would love that. Are you kidding me? I would do their vows. I would be crying harder than their mothers at their wedding if that happened. I would be touched. That would take a, you understand how mu, what a load off that would take for me? I would be like, I got to fuck them for a year and now they're like, now they pay their own bills?

• 1:24:16Stavros Halkias?

  I would be like, Martha and Julia, you and your love inspires me? I would be bawling at the reception. I think I would be, I didn't cry at my brother's wedding. I would cry at their wedding, dude. Without question, that would be, that would be the most, if my, if two bi girls were, got, let me be their like kinda off again, off again boyfriend for a year and then they got married? That would be the greatest honor of my life. That, I would be, oh. I'm literally like tearing up thinking about that.

• 1:24:48Speaker 04

  Make it happen.

• 1:24:49Stavros Halkias?

  You know what? Let's make it happen, man. I really do have the little boy fantasy of like pulling the Lou Williams and having two girlfriends. I just want, it's just so stupid to just be like, but it just seems fun.

• 1:25:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:03Stavros Halkias?

  It seems awesome. And again, gay guys figure that out. They'll just, you guys got all kinds of like different setups.

• 1:25:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:09Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? There's the, the.

• 1:25:11Speaker 04

  The throuple feels so uniquely gay though. Like I don't think there is any other configuration that works.

• 1:25:16Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:25:17Speaker 04

  Of like people. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:19Stavros Halkias?

  The throuple is so, it's a beautiful, it's like a perpetual motion machine. You know, it's like the physics are so beautiful on a gay throuple where it's like it never, it's clean energy. Someone's always getting fucked. Someone's always sucking someone. Someone's always mad. Someone's always getting heads. You know what I mean? It's like someone's always doing.

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  Perfectly self-contained.

• 1:25:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah. Someone's always paying bills. Like there's one guy's always has a, it's beautiful. Anyway. Um, another question for us here, LD, or is it? Uh oh. No, that's for you. I mean, Jibuk can wear it. You want the twisted fitted? Yeah.

• 1:26:06Speaker 04

  Oh, that's sick.

• 1:26:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's time for the motherfucking fucked up ass question of the fucking week. Brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea.

• 1:26:21Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, let me, uh, let me get some ice cold delicious twisted tea right here.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, that's fucking good. What have we got, Elvis? What's the call this week? Hey, I have an honored guest. My family's insane, so I'd love some advice. This year, my dad blew up the family and got a one-way ticket overseas. Uh, he married a. 22 year olds in secret and of course immediately knocked her up.

• 1:26:51Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and I'm sure at this point you can guess we're Arab Muslims. Uh, and I want to be clear, like we all saw it come. She said they're Arab Muslims.

• 1:26:59Speaker 05

  She said they're Arab Muslims, yeah.

• 1:27:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, again, this, this goes back to my bit about how Greeks are the most light skinned Arabs. Because this is the thing I could see half the dads I grew up with doing. But go ahead, keep, and this villager girl shit, go find yourself a 22 year old villager. Like this is that thinking right here. Uh, keep going, LD. Uh, and I want to be clear, like we all saw it coming. He's been saying he wanted a second wife for like five years and we all told him no chance in hell.

• 1:27:26Stavros Halkias?

  My man, listen, that guy read the secret.

• 1:27:31Stavros Halkias?

  That guy knows the power of visualization.

• 1:27:37Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, I want a second wife. He's telling his kids for five years. He's a ma- this, his current wife was in high school that when he first starts talking about this? Oh my God. All right. Keep going, LD. Only the younger than his own daughter part was a surprise. Um, my siblings and I have been begging our parents to get divorced for 10 years. Uh, so my question is actually about my mom. She doesn't want to change anything about her quality of life. She's asking us kids, there's three of us, early career kids who all live in expensive cities. And there's a kid in college right now. And she's asking us to basically bankroll her. Nope. And I want to know how to make her understand that shit is actually impossible.

• 1:28:20Stavros Halkias?

  She basically wants to recreate her bougie suburban housewife life without the husband who spent 30 years building it. Uh, she's not divorced on paper yet. They've not managed to both meet up in court, but she managed to get half the money from the, the house sale. And like another 100 K lump sum. Uh, she literally has more money than any of us combined from ever. And, uh, but it's not enough to like keep her standard of living. So yeah, how do I get my mom to stop trying to live her old life? Also, my dad is begging her to stay married and to come back. What? Love the show. Bye. Wait a second, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:29:05Speaker 04

  Oh my, first of all, both your parents are fucking insane.

• 1:29:07Stavros Halkias?

  And they're both, they're both keeping it rather twisted. They're keeping it very twisted. I will say this family's keeping it twisted. These parents are keeping it very twisted. The dad kept it twisted as hell. Two, he kept it too twisted. Let's be on the record here. Twisted T, he kept it a little too twisted. And the mom is keeping it too twisted too.

• 1:29:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:29Stavros Halkias?

  She's out of her fucking mind. Um, and the dad being like, he wants her to come back? I guess he means he wants to just have two wives, is what he means.

• 1:29:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, she mentioned that earlier too.

• 1:29:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, she did?

• 1:29:42Speaker 05

  That's part of like what he said, like he's just, has always wanted more than one wife.

• 1:29:47Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so listen.

• 1:29:49Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:29:50Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know if, I don't know what the rules of Twisted T are. Whether I can tell your mom to suck it up and be wife number one. But it comes down to doing a little mathematics here. And being like, how are we gonna get the life we want? If the guy's begging you to come back and you can kind of turn a blind eye and, you know. It sounds like she's, didn't have to do much. It sounds like she just kind of had like, a pampered life. Well, this guy now has a second wife, but I'm gonna guess he wasn't not cheating the whole fucking time. There's no way this guy was faithful.

• 1:30:28Speaker 04

  All of a sudden.

• 1:30:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so this, this is just a big, this guy just went back home and got, got himself a 22 year old wife. And, and look, by the way, that is totally grounds for divorce, obviously.

• 1:30:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:41Stavros Halkias?

  But your mom just needs to be okay with either living off the, the, look, you're just gonna have to downgrade here.

• 1:30:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:48Stavros Halkias?

  You made a fucking, you made a choice, you stood up for yourself, you're like, I'm not gonna be, I'm not gonna let this guy just marry another woman.

• 1:30:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:30:56Stavros Halkias?

  And then still stay married to me, which by the way, legally, how, whether we even talking about here? You know what I mean? But anyway. And, but then also what's very funny here is that she's like, how do I tell my mom to stop? And it's like, your mom's not the problem here.

• 1:31:10Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:31:11Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, they're both the problem, but it's like, she's lost her mind.

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  But they both seem insane.

• 1:31:17Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:31:18Stavros Halkias?

  Both your parents seem fucking crazy.

• 1:31:19Speaker 04

  But I'm interested, like, is she even hurt?

• 1:31:23Speaker 04

  The mom?

• 1:31:23Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so.

• 1:31:24Speaker 04

  Cause she's kinda just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, but how am I going to keep doing Pilates?

• 1:31:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 1:31:28Speaker 04

  Who is paying for my Pilates?

• 1:31:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, we're still 3K short a month. If everybody could just put the, if you each could put 1K on auto pay on Zelle, that would really help me out. Let's do it the first of the month.

• 1:31:42Speaker 04

  And then also, she's just gotta get realistic, like,

• 1:31:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:44Speaker 04

  It's capitalism. You can't have pride and money.

• 1:31:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's true.

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  One of them has to go.

• 1:31:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's exactly it. And we clearly chose ours. We don't have pride. We decided which one we want.

• 1:32:00Stavros Halkias?

  And don't forget to keep it fucking twisted, folks.

• 1:32:06Speaker 04

  Get the family together.

• 1:32:07Stavros Halkias?

  Keep the family together. An ice cold twisted tea. Get an ice cold twisted tea. This is what you need to do. Get the family together on a nice hot day. Crack open a game day pack of twisted tea. Cause that actually has all the different flavors. And you'll have raspberry, you'll have peach, somebody wants half and half. And over, over 12 twisted teas, I think your family will come, will come to a conclusion and realize what's really important here.

• 1:32:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:37Stavros Halkias?

  You know?

• 1:32:37Speaker 04

  And then create a throuple.

• 1:32:38Stavros Halkias?

  And then create a, oh, create a throuple. Is this the first non-gay throuple that works?

• 1:32:49Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, that's such a good point of like, your mom chose pride and good for her. But maybe tell her to fucking go and choose money instead and fucking stay married. Or, you know, not to get crass about the whole thing, like, she should, you know, does she get remarried? Does somebody else fill in here?

• 1:33:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:33:07Stavros Halkias?

  Like, is there somebody, is there a lesser, is there a less well-off?

• 1:33:11Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:33:11Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like fucking car salesman that she get in Dallas that she can fucking end up with?

• 1:33:17Speaker 04

  I feel like if she puts up too much of a fight, you could create a contract where it's like, we'll bankroll you if you can get remarried in like six months.

• 1:33:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I love that.

• 1:33:26Speaker 04

  So like, we'll keep you looking like a baddie.

• 1:33:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 1:33:29Speaker 04

  But you gotta show us something.

• 1:33:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:33:31Speaker 04

  Cause I bet she did something like that when you were applying to school.

• 1:33:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point.

• 1:33:35Speaker 04

  I bet. I bet they had those rules for you.

• 1:33:36Stavros Halkias?

  Did your mom ever body shame you? Did she ever call you too fat? You should fucking pinch her fucking, pinch her around the fucking waist. Like, is that we're getting a second husband? You think this is how we're staying in fucking hot yoga, mom? Really? You can get her back now.

• 1:33:53Stavros Halkias?

  Body shame your mother.

• 1:33:55Speaker 04

  Yes, that every immigrant kid needs to hear that. By the time you turn 30, you need to start flipping their tactics back on them. Whatever they did to you, do it to them. It doesn't matter what the scenario is. Like, you have to.

• 1:34:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, yeah, that's our advice. And really, at the end of the day, get the whole family together and crack open an ice cold Twisted Tea. And remember, folks. Keep it twisted. Whoa, what the hell? Oh, shit, fuck.

• 1:34:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, dude. That was crazy. Keep it twisted. And that was the motherfucking ass question of the fucking week, brought to you by Twisted Tea. What else we got, little LD?

• 1:34:47Speaker 06

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• 1:35:01Stavros Halkias?

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 1:35:27Speaker 05

  Hello, Sal, hello caller.

• 1:35:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're the caller?

• 1:35:30Speaker 05

  My question. So I'm getting older, I'm like 44, my wife's getting older. You know, she has like some, she has, I can't remember what it's called, but her like fucking arm hurts all the time for no reason.

• 1:35:42Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, time out.

• 1:35:43Speaker 05

  And, um.

• 1:35:44Stavros Halkias?

  Time to fuck out.

• 1:35:48Stavros Halkias?

  Can't remember what it's called. Your wife has a chronic health condition? That's awesome. Alright, alright, that's fucking hilarious. Couldn't bother to fucking memorize the name.

• 1:36:00Speaker 05

  Can't remember what it's called, but her like fucking arm hurts all the time for no reason. She gets headaches. And um, she's really into sex. She reads all these sex books.

• 1:36:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:36:09Speaker 05

  Like uh, kinda like the gay hockey ones, but they're a little more like violent. And I'm naturally a dom in the bedroom. I'm like a big dude.

• 1:36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:36:17Speaker 05

  But we can't do that anymore because it hurts her. Like I can't fucking pull her hair. I can't choke her. There's no dom sex happening anymore.

• 1:36:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude.

• 1:36:24Speaker 05

  Because of our, we're aging out of that shit.

• 1:36:26Stavros Halkias?

  No you're, no.

• 1:36:26Speaker 05

  Like what, what should we switch it up to? Like what's a more like soft sex thing we could do, you know? Like.

• 1:36:33Stavros Halkias?

  This is a lack of imagination.

• 1:36:34Speaker 05

  Like, I don't fucking know, that's why I'm calling dude. What do I do as a retired dom?

• 1:36:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're clear.

• 1:36:40Speaker 05

  Hopefully you have a good answer. Hopefully you get those.

• 1:36:43Stavros Halkias?

  You need, you're clearly not a, you're clearly not a curious person. You don't even know what your wife's chronic illness is called, right? To you, being a dom is literally hair pulling, choking and like slapping and maybe spitting, right? You're not aging out of it is like, it's like how Mi- look, Michael Jordan was a, he played, he used to play shooting guard. He gets a little older, he moves to the three. He's not a, he's not as explosive, right? But he's more of a technical player. And that's when you age out of things, you have to learn technique, more bang for your buck. To me, this feels like, again, a lack of imagination. Read some of those books.

• 1:37:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:25Stavros Halkias?

  See what, see what it is that's getting her juiced up. A lot of times, talking crazy will do everything you need.

• 1:37:33Speaker 05

  More than enough.

• 1:37:33Stavros Halkias?

  I have, I, I think really like when you, when you think about what you're gonna say and like, describe wild shit that you wanna do to her. Threaten that kinda shit sexually. Get some fucking, also toys, right? Cause you're thinking of it as like pure physical violence as being dominant, but it's like, being in control is really what it's about.

• 1:37:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:37:54Stavros Halkias?

  So if you're fully in control, you're gonna have to play a couple more mind games. Maybe you get into fucking ropes and shit and tying her up. Playing with fucking toys, right? If you can't do, if physical pain and taking her to the limit was one, was once your thing, maybe you have to fucking, you know, hit her with a fucking, one of those fucking, one of those fucking jackhammered fucking vibrators where it's like.

• 1:38:17Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean, like intense pleasure one way or the other?

• 1:38:20Speaker 04

  Or like withholding pleasure?

• 1:38:22Stavros Halkias?

  Withholding, huge, big, yeah, people love that, like teasing, doing this other shit. You right now, it's like the old adage of like, if you have a, if you have a hammer, every problem starts to look like a nail, is what they say, where it's like, yeah, you're gonna try and smash shit if you're, if all you have is a hammer. You need some fucking other tools in your fucking toolkit. You're, you need to become a fina- now is time for you, you can't dunk anymore, learn how to finger roll, you know what I'm saying? Like learn, learn how to be a finesse player because being, you, you don't, and I'm not, I'm not a BDSM person, but I think, like, you know, it's like whatever, whatever I'm into in the bedroom, it's not like I'm, I'm not one of these motherfuckers just like reading about this shit or like, you know,

• 1:39:03Stavros Halkias?

  but I do think, my friends who are into it, I think they would have a very derisive view of you. Because you really aren't, you just see it as like, your four semi-violent sex moves

• 1:39:14Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  are what make you a dom, whereas for them, it's really more, mostly mental, is, is, is, you know, for the friends of mine who are like super into that shit, so.

• 1:39:23Speaker 04

  And I feel like so much behind the dumb stuff is like, behind all of the violence is like, this person wants me so bad that.

• 1:39:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:39:31Speaker 04

  They're like.

• 1:39:32Stavros Halkias?

  They'll do whatever I say.

• 1:39:33Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:39:34Stavros Halkias?

  And that is fucking awesome.

• 1:39:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:36Stavros Halkias?

  That is a great feeling to, and if she has that, you should be, why aren't you having a great time?

• 1:39:41Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's the thing, look at this with fresh eyes. You know what I mean? You have this woman who loves you and will do whatever you want sexually if you, if you just kind of meet her, uh, you know, sort of ha- like, I know, I hooked up with somebody who was like into fat guys, and was just, she was so just into my body in a way that was like, I felt like the man. And then when you hook up with, you know, you'll hook up with random people, it's like, for whatever reason, you just represent the right thing at the right time for their, and they're so turned on, and it's like, that is the fu- and, and they tend to be the ones that are like the most submissive they want. I think when you, I've said this before, but it's like, when you are kind of a big fat piece of shit, hot women want you to just fucking toss them around and shit. And when you fu- and, and that naturally was never, I was never like.

• 1:40:26Stavros Halkias?

  Naturally into like the violent aspect, but it was what you just said that that unlocked it for me where it's like, oh, this is a person that like wants you, wants you so bad. They'll do whatever the fuck you say. And it's like, that doesn't just have to be choking and spitting. That could be a bunch of shit, you know? So get a little more creative. Open your bag up, brother.

• 1:40:43Speaker 04

  Yeah. And also, she's so committed. She's like playing with a torn ACL.

• 1:40:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right. She's trying, dude. She's a trooper. And maybe you can't do all the same stuff, but you can get, you just have, you, it's just from knowing you, this amount, which is hearing a voicemail. I know you're an incurious person. I know it in my bones. And just open up your horizons a little bit, dude. That's all I'm saying. Maybe you're just nervous. That's possible. But I do think in general, and, and look, I've, I've had that problem too, where I don't think about the outside world. And that's when I'm the least happy, or I'm not, I don't ask follow-up questions, when I'm so in my own shit. You're so focused on how you used to fuck and what you've lost, that you're not looking at what you could gain by this new, these new setups. Some of my favorite like restrictions make

• 1:41:32Stavros Halkias?

  some of the best art, right? It's like, and now you, now you get to be fucking Picasso, dude. Get to, now, now we find out if you're actually good at fucking. Before, before you were just using your fucking, you were a brute force, you know? Now, do you have technique? Do you know how to fucking make a woman bust with the, in the sexual theater of the mind? You know, and a couple fucking dildos and shit, whatever the fuck, you know what I mean? Figure some, those beads that you control, that seems kind of fun. That seems classic, just being like, and a girl gets horny, that seems fun. So yeah, there you go, buddy. Give us, what else we got, LD?

• 1:42:17Speaker 05

  Guests you got on there.

• 1:42:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:42:19Speaker 05

  Uh, listen, um, I'm calling, uh, because I, um,

• 1:42:28Speaker 05

  so my situation is this, I'm a forty year old dad of three.

• 1:42:32Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:42:34Speaker 05

  I'm a good dad. I have my shit together. I, uh, you know, still married and still with mom.

• 1:42:42Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:42:44Speaker 05

  And, uh, yeah, everything's good on the home front.

• 1:42:47Stavros Halkias?

  The more positive ones that he racks up, the more I'm scared about what the turn is gonna be. But anyway, let's, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

• 1:42:56Speaker 05

  Uh, doing really well in my job. Kids are happy. I feel like I'm knocking it out of the park as a dad. Um, that said, I'm hitting like mad dabs throughout the day.

• 1:43:13Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:43:14Speaker 05

  Waking up.

• 1:43:15Stavros Halkias?

  We need a respect drop.

• 1:43:16Speaker 05

  I'm dabbing.

• 1:43:17Stavros Halkias?

  We really need a respect drop.

• 1:43:21Speaker 05

  I'm hitting like mad dabs throughout the day. Um, waking up, I'm dabbing afternoon, evening.

• 1:43:32Speaker 05

  I'm also taking about a handful of stems, uh, ADHD meds. I somehow have lucked out into getting a prescription for, very easy to get. Um, I'm

• 1:43:47Stavros Halkias?

  This is

• 1:43:47Speaker 05

  Hello productive, doing all the, the, the stuff, playing music in my free time. Everything's good. I'm loving it, but it feels wrong.

• 1:43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:43:59Speaker 05

  Um, let me know what you think. Am I a secret, high functioning drug addict? Do I need to stop? Do I need to get my priorities in order?

• 1:44:09Stavros Halkias?

  You are talking to a high functioning drug addict right now. I'm so addicted to weed right now, it's crazy. I take hundred milligrams every night. I tried, tonight was the first night I couldn't, I was like, let me just not do this. I could not sleep, dude. I straight up, I slept like four, two nights this week, I was like, I'm not gonna do it. And I, it's not like I didn't, I just, I was like, I'm just gonna smoke weed, that didn't do it. I need to be so blotto out of my fucking mind.

• 1:44:35Speaker 04

  Like edible, like how are you taking this, like?

• 1:44:37Stavros Halkias?

  I have, so there's, like, I literally have done the research to find the way to get the most, there's like a, a brand of, that ma, cause in New York, I know the laws. In New York, every package can't be over a hundred milligrams.

• 1:44:50Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:44:50Stavros Halkias?

  So other, in other places, you might get like, packages that are five hundred milligrams, and they're like fifty or a hundred milligram, like gum, fifty gummies usually.

• 1:44:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:59Stavros Halkias?

  Or twenty, what I'd really love is twenty-five grams, so that I could do seventy-five. In the state of New York, the max is a hundred milligrams. And so most places do either five milligram little guys, or ten milligrams. And there's one company that does these little square chocolates that are a hundred milligrams, and I just fucking pop one of those fuckers, and I am so fucked up, it's awesome. And I, and I sleep so goo, let's, I also fucked my back up, so I'm, I'm trying to stay off other more harmful pills.

• 1:45:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:45:32Stavros Halkias?

  And so I, I've literally know, the last two, last three months, I've become a high functioning drug addict. And there are negatives, like, yeah, I need a little, I need a, I need an hour to really get going in the morning, cause I'm still pretty fucked up.

• 1:45:46Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:45:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know, every morning.

• 1:45:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:45:48Stavros Halkias?

  But I kinda like it.

• 1:45:49Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:45:50Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I take a fucking walk, you know what I mean? I fucking meditate sometimes, but I go on a kinda stoned walk, I drink coffee, and then, within an hour, I'm kinda good to go.

• 1:45:59Speaker 04

  That doesn't sound bad to me.

• 1:46:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's not that, the, the problem is, I've been like, I have to stop this. And right now, I just ca, I'm shooting my sp, you know, I just have too much shit to try and kick weed.

• 1:46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:46:10Stavros Halkias?

  And that would be my, so my question for this guy is like, How, what he's saying doesn't sound that bad.

• 1:46:18Speaker 04

  Mm-mm.

• 1:46:19Stavros Halkias?

  I would.

• 1:46:19Speaker 04

  The stimulants. Like a literal handful, like how many milligrams are we talking?

• 1:46:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I would say is like, like my problem, like I know when shit gets less busy for me, I'm going to, at the minimum, like go off weed for six months because I can, I don't know how my tolerance got here this fast. Cause I truly, dude, I didn't smoke weed for like, like before the tour, was I even smoking weed, Eldis? I don't think so. Just like occasionally, like max.

• 1:46:46Speaker 05

  Going okay.

• 1:46:47Stavros Halkias?

  Before the tour, once a month I'd smoke weed.

• 1:46:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:46:51Stavros Halkias?

  I really wasn't smoking weed. Uh, the tour, touring and fucking my backup, I was just like, if I don't smoke weed, I'm fucked.

• 1:46:57Speaker 04

  It's the same thing with touring. Like I have to get, um, like hydroxazine. It's like, uh, what like Zyrtec used to be before they took the drowsiness out of it. Otherwise I can't go to sleep. Cause you're just like fucking switching time zones so much.

• 1:47:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's.

• 1:47:10Speaker 04

  You're like drinking Red Bull before a show, like.

• 1:47:13Stavros Halkias?

  It is like, you know, I know the fucking, the smallest violin for fucking comedians, but, but it is really hard. When you have just done a show and your adrenaline is through the fucking roof and you had a, yeah. If the nights where it's like, sometimes you have a fucking coffee to get in the right zone or you need a Red Bull, you need whatever. It's like, you're not gonna go to bed unless you have drugs. You're straight up not going to. For until, naturally I would probably go to bed at like 6 a.m. if that was the case.

• 1:47:42Speaker 04

  Yep. And a lot of time you're flying out the next morning.

• 1:47:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's so, it's so, it sucks. So, so I know that, but right now, my life is like a fucking Jenga tower. And if I took out the weed block, it's crumbling.

• 1:47:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:47:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right? So that's what I would say is like, where are you in your life? Cause I know I'm gonna, when it's, when there's less, when it's less precarious, I'm gonna slowly take that weed block out and try and rebuild.

• 1:48:05Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:48:06Stavros Halkias?

  Um, for him, how, like he has, he has kids, right? How old are your kids? Um, like, if you have young kids, I would say I'd be scared. The other thing is like, he seems to, he didn't mention, I was really waiting for the, I wanna cheat on my wife thing to drop. Cause that's most calls we get where the guy talks about what a good guy they are.

• 1:48:29Speaker 04

  Going up with that Adderall, then he might be getting his dick sucked by guys on Grindr, honestly.

• 1:48:35Stavros Halkias?

  Like. This limp dick suck. Yeah, it's like.

• 1:48:39Speaker 04

  Like, at a certain milligram amount, you are gay.

• 1:48:41Stavros Halkias?

  You just become gay.

• 1:48:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:48:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch out. Yeah, yeah. So I think, my question to you is, A, how old are your kids? Are you putting them in danger? Are there times where you're so fucked up? That if, because my thing with parenting is like, I'm not saying someone with kids cannot, can never get fucked up. Obviously, that's, you know, crazy. But I do think if some, if you have young kids, you have to think of yourself as a, as on call.

• 1:49:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:49:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if an emergency happens, do you want to be too stoned to take your kid to the hospital?

• 1:49:12Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:49:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that's number one. Now, if you pass that test, if it's like, either you never get that fucked up when they're around, or you just ultimately know, look, my wife's gonna take care of this. That's the other, that's another thing that we don't know is like, is he just the type B? And is this his wife run everything? And she's like, yeah, yeah, get in the garage, play music, I'll fucking, every time you try and help, you fuck something up. So just fucking take dabs and play fucking, play guitar, you know, play Wonderwall in the garage while I raise our children. If that's the case, keep doing what you're doing. But, but I, I guess my thing is like, yeah, from a true health standpoint, think about what's your percent, what are your milligrams? You're probably fine, you're probably fine for a while, if we're being honest.

• 1:49:56Stavros Halkias?

  But, do you want to live your life addicted to, to be doing a safe speedball every day? You're talking about amphetamines and fucking, like, amphetamines and, and weed, you're getting pretty close to be, to doing fucking heroin and cocaine. You know what I mean? Like, you kind of, when you're talking about dabs at that level, because he's not talking about, I smoke, I smoke a joint or I take five milligrams.

• 1:50:21Speaker 04

  Right, I forgot it's dabs.

• 1:50:22Stavros Halkias?

  He's saying, I'm taking dabs throughout the day, and I'm taking a handful of Adderall's.

• 1:50:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:50:26Stavros Halkias?

  When you're doing that, weed, they, weed has gotten to the point where when it's potent, it's as fucked up as any drug.

• 1:50:32Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:50:33Stavros Halkias?

  And you're on, so it's like, that's my thing, it's like, look, I think you're probably, if we're gonna be realistic. You seem to be fine, but you need to think about this the way you you would think about the way you fucking eat. The way I would say, somebody who goes and drinks fucking ten beers, like somebody who drinks four beers every day. It's like, is that the worst thing in the world? No, but long term, is this how you want, you know, think about it like that. That's how I would, because it doesn't seem like he's putting his kids at danger, doesn't seem like he's fucking his life up.

• 1:51:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:51:02Stavros Halkias?

  It just seems like he morally feels bad for doing what he perceives as wrong behavior.

• 1:51:08Speaker 04

  Mm hmm. But then also, it kind of logistically doesn't make sense because he started doing a bunch of dabs and he probably was like, damn, my attention span is just fried.

• 1:51:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:51:17Speaker 04

  I should probably get on Adderall. And now he's like doing the Adderall to offset the dabs. And it's like, you might just not need either of those.

• 1:51:24Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe not, maybe, but maybe he needs both. I mean, I do feel like the limitless pill, if it's real, is like, five milligrams of Adderall, cold brew, uh, uh, the gentlest edible of all time.

• 1:51:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:51:37Stavros Halkias?

  Ha, uh, a dick pill and like allergy medicine. If you put all that together, but like the, the non-drowsy.

• 1:51:45Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:51:46Stavros Halkias?

  If you put all that together, I think that's what the limitless, like when I'm on Adderall and, and smoking weed, I do feel incredible.

• 1:51:52Speaker 04

  That is true.

• 1:51:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's one of the fucking best feelings in the world.

• 1:51:55Speaker 04

  That is true.

• 1:51:56Stavros Halkias?

  Completely understand why so many people die of speedballs. You're like, I bet this feels so good.

• 1:52:02Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:52:03Stavros Halkias?

  I bet doing heroin and an upper feels so fucking good. And I'm never gonna find out, because that will kill me. Like, I just know, if I ever do heroin, I'm so toast.

• 1:52:15Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:52:16Stavros Halkias?

  Because I even pill, I've, I've dabbled in pills for a while, but if I felt that real shit, anyway, sorry.

• 1:52:21Speaker 04

  I'm doing it at some point, though, like when I'm like, close to death.

• 1:52:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:24Speaker 04

  I'm ripping it. One hundred percent.

• 1:52:26Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great point. As an old guy, I'm doing heroin.

• 1:52:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:29Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta get, if I live to seventy, I'll reward myself with heroin. Let's do that. Let's put that on the board, Elders. That's, that's the Stavros world. That's a goal for us. Get to seventy, you get to do heroin. Um, but so that's I, I would purely look at it as a health thing. Cause that's kinda how I'm looking at the weed thing where I'm like, there's no way ingesting a hundred milligrams a day is good for you long-term. There's just no way that's true. The same way, there's no way eight dabs and 25 extended and 25 extended release, whatever. And like two extended release Adderall's a day is good for you. You know that you ultimately know that. At least you're not destroying your life with it.

• 1:53:15Stavros Halkias?

  So you think like, maybe I could do this forever. It's like, no, you shouldn't just because it's unhealthy for you. Good for you that you're not destroying your life. That's good. Maybe you're the kinda guy who if it got that bad, you'd stop. And it may be on some level, you're like, as soon as it starts fucking my life up, I'll chill. And it just hasn't happened. So you're like, do I just get as fucked up as possible? It's like, no, dude, cause the end of this is ultimately something really fucking dark.

• 1:53:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:53:38Stavros Halkias?

  Cause tolerances keep going up. What you need to get that juice keeps going up. I'm living it in a much more wholesome way than you somehow. So I know how it goes. So that's why I would say, pick a time in your life where you have some downtime and try and kick this. And then if you wanna, if you wanna get back to maybe smoking a joint. You know what I mean? Smoking a joint and taking the amount of Adderall you're prescribed. Okay, try that. But you do need a reset. Minimum.

• 1:54:11Speaker 04

  It's not sustainable and your heart.

• 1:54:13Stavros Halkias?

  Your heart, brother.

• 1:54:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, for sure, for sure. With all those Adderall, that's not.

• 1:54:17Stavros Halkias?

  Did he say he was in good health? What did he say? Did he say, cause he mentioned all the other stuff he's good at.

• 1:54:20Speaker 05

  He didn't specify, but.

• 1:54:22Stavros Halkias?

  I'd be really scared.

• 1:54:23Speaker 05

  Doing good.

• 1:54:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's the thing, dude. I thought I was doing, I mean, again, all this is projection, but like I went through something this year where I was like. You know, I've been fat as fuck my whole life and I've been addicted to multiple substances a different part of my life. And I always was waiting for the doctor's visit where it would force me to get my life together. And I was always like, my blood work's good. What's going on? And then I fucked my back up because I've been like, and I realized, oh, I was always waiting for like diabetes or heart stuff. And it's like, I didn't even consider that I could fuck up literally like my spine by being fat.

• 1:55:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:55:04Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, dude, you might be, you're taking care of all this stuff that you're thinking about right now, but there's stuff that is, these drugs are fucking your life up in ways you're not conceived of, you haven't conceived of yet. And you think you're doing everything with your kids, but like, what do your kids think of you?

• 1:55:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:55:21Stavros Halkias?

  Let's say they're safe. I never see my dad because he's playing math rock on Adderall. He's doing chord progressions on fucking 40 milligrams of Adderall. So I don't ever get to, he missed my fucking, he missed my game, he missed my fucking soccer game because he was trying to do, he was trying to copy Buckethead's guitar solo or whatever the fuck.

• 1:55:39Speaker 04

  Also, that combo is low key like schizophrenia from scratch.

• 1:55:41Stavros Halkias?

  It really is.

• 1:55:42Speaker 04

  The paranoia that you might get if that goes like a little wrong.

• 1:55:46Stavros Halkias?

  I think about how, because I was, I'm ADHD, whatever, and I was prescribed Adderall for a while. And I think about what, like how, how irritable I would get sometimes when I didn't eat enough or like, because it stops you from eating, so you don't realize you're hungry. And if you, if you fucking abuse amphetamines, you get very irritable, you get, you have a bad mood. And when you combine that with fucking the paranoia, like I still, even as someone addicted to huge quantities of marijuana, I will freak out every night. I have like about a 20 minutes like, I'm gonna fuck everything up. I'm about to fucking bomb the special, I'm gonna fuck the movie up, I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:56:28Stavros Halkias?

  But you just power through that part and right after that 30 rock gets even more awesome. So as soon, as soon as you power through that little 20 minutes of like, you're a fucking fraud, you're gonna fuck, but, but if combining that with fucking Adderall, yeah. So anyway, you, you know, we just said everything you actually have known this whole time, but you didn't need to hear it. So that's it, little buddy. Elvis, you got something fun for us to go out on here?

• 1:56:55Speaker 05

  Here's a guy with a medical issue that we did help.

• 1:56:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:57:02Speaker 05

  First of all, I don't have a question, to be honest with you, but I have a funny story.

• 1:57:06Stavros Halkias?

  Great.

• 1:57:07Speaker 05

  You would appreciate. Um, a few months ago, I was in a bike accident and I flew off my bike over the front handlebars going like 20 miles an hour.

• 1:57:19Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus.

• 1:57:19Speaker 05

  And I was wearing a helmet, but I still cracked my pavement hard enough to get a concussion.

• 1:57:25Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Thank God you had a fucking helmet.

• 1:57:28Speaker 05

  When I realized I had a concussion, went to the doctor, they told me that, you know, first I have to be in a dark room with no stimulation, mental stimulation of any kind. Uh, but then they said I should start slowly introducing more stimulating things to get my brain used to like sensory input. But what I found is that even like thinking about things too hard would trigger like my symptoms. So like, I tried to go back to work. I'm a, a program from my job for computers. And I started trying to do that again and I would like, would be looking at the code and then everything would go blurry and like the lights would get really sharp.

• 1:58:12Speaker 05

  And I would have to lay down and it would just be too much.

• 1:58:14Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ, dude.

• 1:58:15Speaker 05

  And I found that the only thing that I could do, uh, that was the least mental stimulation of any activity was just to listen to your podcast.

• 1:58:33Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have severe brain damage?

• 1:58:38Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry. Does it hurt you to think too hard? To have, to hold, does holding images in your head challenge you too much mentally? Well, don't worry, Stavi's world is here for you. We're gentle enough that even someone who, if they imagine, if they try and remember their grandpa's name, get a migraine? We won't challenge them at all, dude. We, we'll just feed them right what they want. Comfort, pure comfort food. That's awesome. Does he have more?

• 1:59:11Speaker 05

  And there was a period of like five days where I literally could only just lay down on the couch. With my eyes closed and just listen to Stavvy's World. And I probably listened to like.

• 1:59:24Stavros Halkias?

  Hell yeah, get this man, find this man and gift him a Patreon subscription, Eldis.

• 1:59:29Speaker 05

  For that one, it was.

• 1:59:31Stavros Halkias?

  Get him the, get him Albanian supremacy.

• 1:59:35Stavros Halkias?

  The $10 tier where you get to see Eldis's camera only. We charge more to get access to Eldis's camera for the whole two hours.

• 1:59:43Speaker 05

  You can see what I'm doing, my facial expressions throughout the course of an episode.

• 1:59:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's literally like an hour and 40 minutes of Eldis just being like.

• 1:59:56Stavros Halkias?

  You see, you can see how cross-eyed he is with, with that cam too, by the way. That's so fucking funny. Is that, so how's he doing that? Did he, is that it? Is that the end of the call?

• 2:00:06Speaker 05

  That was it.

• 2:00:07Speaker 04

  Great delivery.

• 2:00:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's beautiful. Yeah. That actually was really good. That was really good. That's so fucking funny. And that does. You know what? That makes me feel good, man. The fact that we're helping the, the people with the, the, the TBI community.

• 2:00:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny, dude. And I, by the way, I do take that as a compliment. I take it as we're, you know, we're just, you're here with your friend, you're with an old pal. We make you feel comfortable here. Do you ever, you ever, what's the most fucked up injury you've ever had?

• 2:00:37Speaker 04

  Ooh, um, most fucked up injury? Hernia.

• 2:00:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck. I remember, I remember you like posted about that and I was like, how the fuck did this guy get a hernia? Was it working out?

• 2:00:48Speaker 04

  No, well, yes and no. I got so strong that I thought that I could do anything.

• 2:00:55Speaker 04

  So it was working out.

• 2:00:56Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking hilarious.

• 2:00:57Speaker 04

  But I tried moving a mattress up some stairs by myself.

• 2:01:00Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you were jacked.

• 2:01:01Speaker 04

  And it's like, I could do it, but like, I just moved a little bit in the wrong direction. I just felt something pop. And I was like, ooh, what was that?

• 2:01:09Stavros Halkias?

  How fucking long did that take?

• 2:01:11Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 2:01:12Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have to get surgery?

• 2:01:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I had to get like a mesh put in.

• 2:01:16Speaker 04

  I couldn't do any lifting whatsoever for like maybe a month and then like no real working out for like six months.

• 2:01:24Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, yeah, that's brutal.

• 2:01:25Speaker 04

  It was terrible.

• 2:01:26Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus, but at least, I mean, because I'm literally dealing with my, I was the most actually on my shit that I've been in years. I was working out.

• 2:01:34Speaker 04

  Always how it happens.

• 2:01:35Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, and I haven't been able to, I haven't been able to like re, it's been, you know, it happened in January and I'm trying to get back to fucking, I want, it's hilarious that the moment I want to lift in my life, the first time in my life, the gym is like a positive to me. It will kill me if I try doing it like, um, uh, but thank God it fucking the hernia, they just fucking, and you're good. It's not like a chronic thing or?

• 2:01:57Speaker 04

  No, like sometimes I get like nerve pain a little bit.

• 2:02:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:02:01Speaker 04

  And then if I start getting really like jacked in the abdomen, I can feel it moving.

• 2:02:07Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 2:02:08Speaker 04

  Or like repositioning kind of like when the muscle like.

• 2:02:12Speaker 04

  And it's so alien feeling like there's just like that thing there.

• 2:02:15Stavros Halkias?

  So does it stop you from getting like, can you, but can you work out regularly now?

• 2:02:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I can. Yeah, it's like completely healed.

• 2:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  If you get, can you get fucking, could you go Kumail mode if you wanted and it would it hurt?

• 2:02:26Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 2:02:27Stavros Halkias?

  Like get jacked as fuck Kumail.

• 2:02:29Speaker 04

  I know it's in me because my brother does it. Like it's in the genes somewhere.

• 2:02:33Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck dude.

• 2:02:33Speaker 04

  And I like, I've seen him do it and I'm like, I could.

• 2:02:35Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have that desire? You know?

• 2:02:37Speaker 04

  Do you want to be jacked as fuck? For like a little bit and it's fun, but then like you can't really dress like nothing fit me right. I just always felt like I should just be naked right now. Because no one's really getting the effect.

• 2:02:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:02:49Speaker 04

  Like you guys don't get it. Like this actually isn't selling it.

• 2:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  That's really interesting too.

• 2:02:53Speaker 04

  And I like clothes. So I'm like, I don't know. I don't wanna.

• 2:02:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's very interesting too, from like, again, just, uh, sort of the way, um, uh, oh fuck, just sort of like a, a showing our viewership.

• 2:03:06Stavros Halkias?

  Different stuff about, uh, gay people, our, our former incels. It's like immediately I would have thought like, but wait, gay guys work out and they like clothes. And it never, never at once that I think like, whoa, that's two mutually exclusive things.

• 2:03:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:03:21Stavros Halkias?

  Cause if you're jacked, you're right. Nothing.

• 2:03:23Speaker 04

  Nothing's for you.

• 2:03:24Stavros Halkias?

  Good because you're jacked, but also it's like if someone's too jacked, they actually can never look. Great in clothes. Like super, we're talking about like bodybuilders look fucking crazy.

• 2:03:36Speaker 04

  100%.

• 2:03:38Stavros Halkias?

  And even in like suits, like jacked guys started wearing the like fucking tight ass suits. I've been in a suit with the right tailoring, but then you gotta be a guy who wears a fucking suit all the time.

• 2:03:47Speaker 04

  Right, no.

• 2:03:48Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 2:03:49Speaker 04

  It's like you should be fighting or fucking someone right now.

• 2:03:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true. There's no reason to get that jacked if you don't have like physical, if you're not like violent, doing some kind of violence, whether that's sports or like, you know. Sexual violence, but consensually.

• 2:04:05Speaker 04

  Would you ever, do you have the desire to get like super?

• 2:04:08Stavros Halkias?

  Not, I mean, obviously, I'd have the desire to just fucking get huge arms. Like just get bouncer physique.

• 2:04:15Speaker 04

  Get like a shot put build.

• 2:04:16Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 2:04:17Speaker 04

  I see that for you.

• 2:04:18Stavros Halkias?

  And the thing is like, I do want, I'm gonna take time to fix my, the back I also just kinda needed because you always say, I'm gonna take time and actually fix myself, right? Fix my problems. This made it so that I had to be, I literally was like, I turned down a bunch of jobs because I was like, I have to after, I've agreed to do certain things. And like, you know, this movie, I, I was really lucky to get cast in this movie with Apetow and who, dude, you know, when I'm, you wanna talk about being, I literally like listened to the fucking DVD commentaries of this shit. Like it's crazy. If it wasn't Judd Apatow and it wasn't, and I am a bit, I'm a fucking Powell guy, dude.

• 2:04:59Stavros Halkias?

  I saw that motherfucker in Top Gun and I walked out of there being like, that's the fucking guy. No disrespect to Miles Teller, great actor, but I was like, fuck, give me more of this fucking guy. He was so good at being like Iceman 2.0 and he just had that like kinda, that like dickhead. I'm so excited to fucking do this movie because his presence on screen is so fun and like, he just has such a specific energy. And if it wasn't like legit a movie star and the fucking director I grew up like, I probably would go, because I, I'm like trying to find doctors, like I have a bunch of shit I wanna do. So I do think the- If I don't, if I don't do it now, if you don't see me in like a year with a fixed back, getting in good shape, it's just never gonna hap. I'm getting to that point where it's like, I'm thirty seven.

• 2:05:43Speaker 04

  Have you ever had to do physical therapy before?

• 2:05:45Stavros Halkias?

  I have, I have, yeah. I'm gonna have to do a bunch of PT. I've, my, I fucked my shoulder up. I, my hope is, once I'm done with the movie, is to just like, I'm really gonna go into PT seriously, and I just wanna be able to work out my upper body again, at least a little bit. Cause my, the irony now is like, my legs are always the strongest thing, and I just can't really fuck with them right now because of my back. And I think I probably could, I always was like, I'm fat issue. It doesn't make sense to like, do like, arm workouts for, I need to like, just get healthier. But I think there will be a moment where while I'm fixing my back, I really can't do anything but purely arm stuff. So, who knows, man? Maybe I spend the year just getting fucking, big ass.

• 2:06:24Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, I'll do everything. Peptides, fucking stem cells, fucking, take my blood out, fucking circulate it, put it in, you know what I mean? Like, I'm, that's the other thing is like, I don't really spend money on much. I've been very lucky in my life. And I just wanna spend money on making my body not feel like shit, you know? Like, that's the thing.

• 2:06:45Speaker 04

  What's your peptide stack? Do you have, have you been scoping anything?

• 2:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  I have nothing yet, but I'm getting in the zone, you know? I'm gonna get in the mix for sure. Cause like, the GLP-1s have helped me an incredible amount. Because like, there have been moments, I've been on them a little under a year, or about a year. And even when I don't, you know, I haven't been losing weight a ton, like, uh, fat. Like, when I started, I was losing weight so fast because I had nothing to do and I was so focused. But now, there have been moments where I've been so stressed that if I wasn't on them, I would be going buck. Or I have a crazy night and then they fucking, they let you know you fucked up. And your stomach hurts. It kind of is like a, it is kind of like a shock collar thing. Where it's like, you know what I mean? You have too much dessert, you hit the collar the next day on the toilet.

• 2:07:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, oh yeah. You hit the fucking shock fence. So I'm like, these medicines have clearly helped me. There's probably other medicines that can help. And so I'm on, I'm on the hunt for like, rich guy solutions to my back. So we might, maybe Stabby Gets Ripped season fucking three or, what are we up to? Four, five?

• 2:07:50Speaker 04

  There's like, the peptides are tearing through the gay guy community.

• 2:07:53Stavros Halkias?

  It seems like it.

• 2:07:54Speaker 04

  And I'm really scoping them out.

• 2:07:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:56Speaker 04

  I like, there's a few test dummies that I have.

• 2:07:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, put it, hey, we gotta send a couple of dogs to space. Before we get, before me and you get in the shuttle.

• 2:08:05Stavros Halkias?

  Let's make sure they can fucking come in and out.

• 2:08:07Speaker 04

  Exactly, exactly. Gotta send some Sputniks.

• 2:08:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I definitely see that for sure. It's like, it seems like a lot, it's like tech, gay guys, and then like, secret Hollywood, people that don't want to admit. Like peptides seem to be like the way people can just do something.

• 2:08:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:08:27Stavros Halkias?

  And be like, well, it's not the things you've heard of.

• 2:08:29Speaker 04

  Well, the gateway for me, and I think for a lot of people, Accutane.

• 2:08:33Stavros Halkias?

  Is that a peptide technically?

• 2:08:34Speaker 04

  No, just like.

• 2:08:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, just like a weird.

• 2:08:35Speaker 04

  It's just vitamin A.

• 2:08:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 2:08:37Speaker 04

  But then some of these peptides are just like copper.

• 2:08:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 2:08:39Speaker 04

  That you're shooting into your ass.

• 2:08:41Stavros Halkias?

  I know, that's why I want to give it a little second.

• 2:08:43Speaker 04

  Right.

• 2:08:43Stavros Halkias?

  I was like that with the GLP-1s. I gave it like quite a, like I started last year. And I feel like the first round of Ozempic was like, maybe what, four years ago, probably?

• 2:08:52Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 2:08:53Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like it probably was, something like that. I feel like it was like a right out of the pandemic type thing. E- even probably during, was some, because so many people had all this pan- massive pandemic weight loss. And it was right when GLP-1 started.

• 2:09:06Speaker 04

  Like, what the fuck?

• 2:09:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:09:09Stavros Halkias?

  But, but yeah, dude, I'm, I'm excited to fuck. I do, I'm obviously never gonna be in great shape, but I want to get strong as fuck. Just from a, at this point, literally from a survival standpoint. But I also just think like the ultimate, I've just always been on the quest to perfect what I, who I, what my, what my strengths are. And I think the, the physical attractiveness for me, I'm not some fat guy that thinks he wants to get skinny. That's crazy, right? That's also not who I am. I'm not a little guy. And so I'm, and it's also like, I'm 5'7". If I lost 100 fucking 20 pounds at 5'7", I'd be a weird little guy with loose skin. That's not who I want to be.

• 2:09:46Speaker 04

  And a really big head.

• 2:09:47Stavros Halkias?

  Humongous head.

• 2:09:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:09:48Stavros Halkias?

  I really, like, do fat people just grow larger heads, or do, I feel like so many fat people that lose weight happen to have huge heads? Is there some kind of thing, does your head grow because you're fat?

• 2:09:58Speaker 04

  See, I.

• 2:09:59Stavros Halkias?

  Chicken or the egg? I'd love to know.

• 2:10:01Speaker 04

  Like, I have a gigantic head. Sometimes I see myself on camera and I'm like, holy shit.

• 2:10:05Stavros Halkias?

  But we're just used to it.

• 2:10:07Speaker 04

  Lollipop-ing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 2:10:09Speaker 04

  But when I, I had like, I think at my heaviest I was like 200. And like, I looked so normal.

• 2:10:17Speaker 04

  I was like, whoa, like, everything is proportional. Like, it's crazy.

• 2:10:20Stavros Halkias?

  What size hat do you wear, do you know?

• 2:10:21Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ, like, I couldn't fit that, I don't think.

• 2:10:24Stavros Halkias?

  We have, I have a humongous head. Try this, dude.

• 2:10:27Speaker 04

  See, you're on the last.

• 2:10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Last, last, yeah, yeah. Hair. Similar, yeah.

• 2:10:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is terrible.

• 2:10:34Stavros Halkias?

  Similar size, yeah, yeah. But that's a, I just love this hat, but I hate going, yes, yes, I'm too fat for hats, we've discussed it. We've discussed it. I hate going on the last one, but we went to fucking, uh, where did we just go? Uh, Milwaukee? And bought, like, beer hats, and let me just say, they got them for the ample head. When you buy beer merch, they are the right, they're for fat ass head motherfuckers, but, yeah, hell yeah, dude. No, I'm gonna, uh, I do, I definitely have the desire to just kind of fuck it. I'd love, I have a, I love that eighties action movie so much, and I have a script that I like, you know, I have like a project that I love working on that's like, that it, that is in that world,

• 2:11:16Stavros Halkias?

  and it would make sense for me, for this thing to just get, not, obviously, I'm never gonna be as jacked as fucking, but that would make sense. If I get somebody to make this, and then it's like, alright, well, I need a year to get jacked, like, I, I, I always dream of figuring out a way to like, you know, tie it into my life, so that I don't have to completely, set the groundwork now, where like, get healthy, and then be like, hey, if you like this, I gotta fucking get, I gotta get on some fucking peptides and get fucking jacked as hell.

• 2:11:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 2:11:45Stavros Halkias?

  We'll see. Stay tuned, Stabby Gets Rip, season four or five, again, I don't remember which one it is, but, we're, and if, sorry, folks, we were gonna do it, but I fucked my back up, so I couldn't work out at all. But, we're gonna get, once I'm done shooting this movie, we're gonna, we're gonna get Stabby Gets Rip going again. Anyway, that was a fun last call, it, it, uh, we're glad we could help the brain damaged, our brain damaged fan, and, and you know, that's nice, it's, it's nice that one of our fans has to have, uh, accidents to get brain injury for a change.

• 2:12:16Stavros Halkias?

  Usually, that's just kind of how they were born. They were kind of missing a chunk of one lobe or another, so, respect to you guys. Jaboukie, this was great, man.

• 2:12:24Speaker 04

  Thank you very much.

• 2:12:24Stavros Halkias?

  Anytime you want to come back, we'd love to have you. Find Jaboukie, he's on the road right now, follow him online, he's hilarious, uh, in every medium, and, uh, we will talk to you guys next time. Bye, bye.

• 2:12:47Speaker 06

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• 2:13:01Speaker 05

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