#137 - Felix Biederman and Nick Mullen

Felix Biederman and Nick Mullen join the pod to discuss the new Chapo Trap House comic book anthology Year Zero, names made out of initials, Felix the Cat, the evolution of the YMCA, Dick’s Last Resort, Halo, white guys with Asian girlfriends, who would write a movie about the Brooklyn podcast scene, and much more. Felix, Nick and Stav help callers including a woman whose husband is going through a midlife crisis because they can’t find a third partner for a fling, and a man who has trouble telling people he works in funeral transport services. Purchase Chapo Trap House: Year Zero at Bad Egg Publishing: https://badegg.co/products/year-zero-1 Follow Felix Biederman on social media: https://www.instagram.com/byyourlogic https://x.com/ByYourLogic Follow Nick Mullen on social media: https://www.instagram.com/mulldogforever https://www.tiktok.com/@mulldogforever https://x.com/nycguidovoice Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPod. As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Eat smart with Factor. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50off and use code STAVVY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com/ and use promo code STAVVY to try your first month of BlueChew FREE -- just pay $5 shipping. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Watch LET'S START A CULT on Hulu: https://www.hulu.com/movie/lets-start-a-cult-1f157c44-3840-4f01-8863-bb6afa472a0b ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:41Speaker 00

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• 0:55Speaker 01

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Oh, hey, man.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By the glow, White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:24Stavros Halkias?

  Opah! Welcome, everybody, to Stavvi's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We have two absolute geniuses, brain geniuses on the couch right now. Felix Biederman, Nicholas Mullen. You ever go by Nicholas?

• 1:43Speaker 04

  I'm gonna start.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  Nicholas Mullen?

• 1:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. I always wanted letters.

• 1:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't have a middle name?

• 1:50Speaker 04

  I mean, I do, but it would be NJ, which is not, you can't go by NJ.

• 1:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, NJ, NJ Mullen.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  That's an autistic move.

• 1:58Stavros Halkias?

  New Jersey Mullen?

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  NJ's not bad. What would yours be?

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Mine? I would be...

• 2:05Stavros Halkias?

  Middle name?

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Uh, FC Biederman.

• 2:07Stavros Halkias?

  FC Biederman, that's pretty good.

• 2:09Speaker 04

  That's like, yeah, that's like a race car driver.

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  What's the... Yeah, FC Biederman's not bad, actually.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is sort of F1. I was thinking like it sounds sort of eugenicist.

• 2:17Speaker 04

  You should go by F1 Biederman.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  What's wait, what is the middle? I always like when someone would just do the first name like our, our. We had a pal that went by T. Brad.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:31Stavros Halkias?

  I or F. Scott Fitzgerald, what would, what's your? I would be S. Emmanuel Halkias. S E is horrible. S E Halkias sucks.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like that's a, that's like a girl's initial.

• 2:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right. Fuck. What's the C in?

• 2:49Speaker 02

  It's, uh, Charles.

• 2:50Stavros Halkias?

  Charles, ooh. F. Charles Biederman's actually really good, dude.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like, I hated my first name when I was a little kid because it was, it was weird. My parents almost named me fucking-

• 3:00Speaker 04

  Well, there's a cat.

• 3:01Stavros Halkias?

  Felix the Cat's awesome, man.

• 3:02Speaker 04

  When you're a little kid, your name can't rhyme with anything.

• 3:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it can't-

• 3:06Speaker 04

  It can't be a reference to anything.

• 3:08Stavros Halkias?

  I feel like Felix the Cat was cool, though. It was like a niche.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  You know the rules. It literally doesn't matter.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  I always, I always thought that like Felix the Cat, like the last people that watched it like died in the Korean War.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Like it was, it-

• 3:21Stavros Halkias?

  It is kind of Betty Boop adjacent.

• 3:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's like Betty Boop but without getting pussy, like there's no slut in it. It's just like some fu- you're right. It's just some gas cat.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  Does he, like, does he, is there like a Felicia that he tries to, like?

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think he's horny, no.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  I found out there's a girl Garfield. Did you know that?

• 3:40Stavros Halkias?

  I do know that.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  I did know, yeah.

• 3:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 04

  It's not Nermal, by the way.

• 3:43Stavros Halkias?

  Nermal's a little boy.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, Nermal, Nermal would be-

• 3:45Speaker 04

  They say that, but-

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  Nermal's a little boy, dude.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, look, Felix the Cat does have some pussy. Annabelle, apparently? Oh, no, there's Kitty the Cat. I mean, that's fucking bullshit.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was la- a last minute addition.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. She looks kind of hot. Pull her up there, eldest. What are you doing?

• 4:04Speaker 05

  Right here.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  There's a, yeah. I mean, that's not bad. Candy Kitty, I'd fuck Candy Kitty. That's pretty hot right there. But yeah, I don't know.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  Does she pull stuff out of her pussy that's magic?

• 4:17Stavros Halkias?

  That would be cool.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Put her magic pussy out of-

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Who's the old guy that hates the cat?

• 4:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, isn't that Gar- are you thinking of Gargamel from the Smurfs?

• 4:25Speaker 04

  No, no. In Felix, the bad guy's an old guy with a mustache that hates Felix and wants to kill him to get his bag.

• 4:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 4:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. No, not that guy, the old man, Master Cylinder.

• 4:37Stavros Halkias?

  Master Cylinder?

• 4:38Speaker 04

  I wanna put my cylinder in the...

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  That guy, yeah.

• 4:42Speaker 04

  Isn't that The Simpsons? No, it's this guy, this old man.

• 4:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, whatever, who gives a fuck?

• 4:46Speaker 04

  I do. I wanna get to the bottom of it.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  That's how I spend my time.

• 4:54Stavros Halkias?

  Coin Dexter?

• 4:54Speaker 04

  Trying to remember things from cartoons, getting it wrong, and then looking up and being like, "That's right."

• 5:01Stavros Halkias?

  I wanna go, I wanna go to the talk page for the Felix the Cat fan wiki. Professor, is it just Professor? There's Old King Cole. I just remember seeing Felix the Cat when I was a kid, and it feeling kinda trippy. And I only saw one, I literally only saw it one time, but it stuck with me forever.

• 5:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't recall ever seeing it, I just know this guy, and he wants Felix's bag.

• 5:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you seem to know a lot about him.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  I do.

• 5:24Stavros Halkias?

  Does he have a fucking bag? I don't even know that.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  Felix has a magic...

• 5:27Speaker 02

  That was like his only thing.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Felix has a magic bag of tricks that he can pull whatever he wants out of.

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay, interesting.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, hence the pussy thing.

• 5:36Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I thought you were just asking that about the other cat's pussy.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Oh, can I fuck her? Can you fuck the cat?

• 5:47Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to fuck.

• 5:50Speaker 04

  How would she do?

• 5:54Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, so anyway, so you didn't go by F- so did you go by Charles for a second?

• 5:57Speaker 04

  No, I, that was...

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Like, too much commitment.

• 6:00Speaker 04

  F Chuck.

• 6:01Stavros Halkias?

  F Chuck. F Chuck Biederman's pretty good, dude.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  They did, they did suggest that to me, like, that I could try to...

• 6:07Stavros Halkias?

  Chuck Biederman?

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  I, yeah, I don't know.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Kinda sounds too much like Chuck Klosterman.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I've been trying to avoid that my whole fucking life.

• 6:15Stavros Halkias?

  You guys are so similar, you and Chuck Klosterman.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  I would risk blindness for Lysick.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  No offense to him.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to fucking love, I used to be, I used to be like seventeen and thinking I was smart as shit for reading Chuck Klosterman books. Being like, "Damn, this is fucking good-ass essays."

• 6:35Speaker 02

  I read it, yeah, I remember the first one I read when I was in like sixth grade, and I was like, "This would be the coolest job."

• 6:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Like a guy who writes a book about music videos he saw.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  And then I got to do something even easier.

• 6:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Like, I got to do even more bullshit thing.

• 6:52Stavros Halkias?

  That is fucking true.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  I get to talk about, like, articles that read the headlines about a week ago.

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  Well, speaking of bullshit, don't you guys have a book? That's the whole...

• 7:04Stavros Halkias?

  Chapo year zero, right?

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, this is, well, year zero is the title we would have went with for the book we wrote like, you know, seventeen fucking years ago.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's about, that's because it's named after your penis, the length of your penis.

• 7:18Speaker 04

  Seventeen?

• 7:19Stavros Halkias?

  Zero.

• 7:22Stavros Halkias?

  Year zero.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:24Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and it's actually also named after your penis as well.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Year?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  What a coincidence.

• 7:28Stavros Halkias?

  Zero, no, just zero.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's mostly the zero part.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  It's both of ours.

• 7:35Stavros Halkias?

  Your dick's a front zero.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  He's already zero, I gotta be either.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  You're also zero.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  Year or Chapo, I'll take year. Three hundred and sixty-five.

• 7:42Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 7:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 7:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's not how that works.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 7:45Stavros Halkias?

  Well, actually, actually, you know, yeah, because time is a different dimension. So it doesn't exist, it's time, which is fine, because we can't even fathom it. So a bitch can't get fucked by it because it's, time is passing by.

• 7:56Speaker 04

  You can get fucked by time. I've had that happen.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  That's why most people get fucked.

• 8:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, shit, really? Fuck. Well, anyway, Chapo year zero.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  It is messed up that if you just, you can wait around and eventually you'll die. You can't just wait around and get your dick sucked.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  I guess not.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  I mean, it's anyone.

• 8:15Stavros Halkias?

  What are the odds? Now, does your dick out and where are you?

• 8:19Speaker 04

  You're, you're in the women's locker room at the YMCA.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  And you get maybe twenty minutes before you. Before the cops are there.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  I think if there was some kind of magical, if you were like, kind of, if you were sort of, protected by magic, where they couldn't arrest you.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  So you're Felix.

• 8:39Stavros Halkias?

  Or call, you, you reach in the Felix's bag, you put a fucking shield over you, every part of you but your dick. And you're in a women's locker room for eternity.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  So you have, you have seen Felix, then?

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Well, no, I'm just going off context clues.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  That's, well, that's what I remember.

• 8:54Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, look, the point is.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  That was like the steamboat Willie one.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  That was kind of, that was the first one.

• 8:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh. We put this dick out in the YMCA. His dick is out for eternity until it gets sucked.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  There's a Gucci bag with a cock hanging out of it, and women keep coming by sucking it, trying to get the bag. And then a cat comes out, and then they're all throwing up because they've sucked off. They're filled as a cat.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  They realized they've been filled with cat.

• 9:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right, they thought it was a man's cock.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it wasn't.

• 9:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Interesting, interesting, interesting. Yeah, I haven't seen that one. But I do think eventually you get your dick sucked if your dick was just out at a YMCA, a good women's locker room. Thoughts?

• 9:32Speaker 02

  I mean, like, do women, so like for the women, the YWCA, do they, is that also for like down and out women? Like the way the YMCA was for sort of down and out men?

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  That is how, when did that stop, by the way? Because you would read, you'd read an old book and it would be like a drifter would go get a room at the YMCA.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  I don't think it stopped.

• 9:49Stavros Halkias?

  You can still get a room at the YMCA?

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, it just became known for-

• 9:53Speaker 04

  It's a shitty gym now, that's all it is.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  But there's still-

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  You'd be able to sleep in the locker room, basically.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I mean, it became known for another thing besides being a gym. Like, it was, there's an interim period.

• 10:02Speaker 04

  The song is when it ends.

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  So when they started having gay sex?

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, when it became like a cruising spot, like, sort of what they had to have instead of Grindr. They picked one civil organization where there was lodging.

• 10:14Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  And they're like, well, I'll go here. Because there's no, there, no one has a phone or apps.

• 10:19Stavros Halkias?

  So gay men reverse gentrified the YMCA. They did the opposite of what they do to neighborhoods. Because they, they made the YMCA a shitty gym when it used to be a cool place you could fucking cool out for a couple of days.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  I don't think it was a cool place.

• 10:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right. It was hobos, bums would like-

• 10:34Speaker 02

  You did that after you like got kicked out of your house when you were nine and then like assaulted by hobos.

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  After you got, like, getting raped on the rails. You would, you would hit the YMCA.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  After you walked from Connecticut.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  When did the song come out?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  1973, something, yeah.

• 10:52Stavros Halkias?

  So probably up until the late 60s, you could probably rent a cot there.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I would think like past that. I think like when the song came out, they were like, okay, we have to, we, this is a problem now.

• 11:04Stavros Halkias?

  No more, no more beds, they're having, but then people, then gay guys just moved to steam rooms. To where they're still doing it today.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. And it's weird because it's just, it's not the dry sauna. And I tell you this story, it's out of my gym, and a gay guy tried to come into the dry sauna instead of the steam room.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Oh, the steam room was-

• 11:21Speaker 04

  And he sat down, he was like a middle-aged guy, and he's like, ah, it was so much hotter yesterday, it felt amazing. Like, looked around at everybody, and nobody said anything, and then he kind of, and he went.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Got up, he's like, "Well, enjoy your day, guys."

• 11:41Speaker 02

  And the director's cut of Eastern Promises, that happens in the middle of their play.

• 11:46Speaker 04

  Christmas Eve! It was like a holiday.

• 11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man, that poor guy just wa- he was like, he had just gotten divorced from his husband.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  He wanted to fuck it, and he wanted to feel good about himself.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Fucking three feet away, there's the steam room. It's like, there's rules here, that's why.

• 12:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Dry sauna's not for gay shit.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  No.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Was it like his first day of being gay?

• 12:06Speaker 04

  No, this was like an older guy. I think it was his first day at the gym.

• 12:09Stavros Halkias?

  So maybe he didn't even know about the duel. He thought he was just going into the... Do you think he had gay sex in there yesterday? He said it was hotter yesterday.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think he probably tried yesterday and then it didn't work.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, that's not right. They keep it at the same temperature.

• 12:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, you know, there's variations. Sometimes it's, you go in there, yeah, sometimes you go in the dry sauna and it's like a bullshit temperature in there.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  Because you throw a little fucking water over the rocks and it gets hotter, right?

• 12:35Speaker 04

  You're not supposed to do that.

• 12:37Stavros Halkias?

  You're not?

• 12:37Speaker 04

  No, yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Why are they there, then?

• 12:39Stavros Halkias?

  But it's so fucking cool.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  The rocks and like the water.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  The rocks hold the heat. So the heater like heats the rocks up and then the rocks stay hot and...

• 12:47Stavros Halkias?

  But it's fucking cool. You'll, you'll admit it's cool to go. They have a fucking little thing, too. Why do they have the thing? It goes...

• 12:55Speaker 04

  Depends on, maybe at your gym. I think the wood ones you can.

• 12:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Speaker 04

  But the electric ones, you're not supposed to pour fucking water on the...

• 13:02Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  On the wires and shit.

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  I guess that makes sense.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  And then, like, there's already a steam room, you know what I mean?

• 13:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right. The stea- and I guess that's true, because you could, at least part of it, you're in the fog when you're doing gay shit. It's not as clear.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:20Stavros Halkias?

  So you could theoretically, somebody could be doing gay shit on the other side of the steam room and you could be having a regular straight time on the other side of it.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  That's what that Robert McNamara documentary.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Your dude hit one of those.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  It was a really strange joint by Errol Morris, but they got a lot out of him.

• 13:40Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the guy was really guilty about Vietnam, so he had to go do some gay shit. You know, it's the way it really fucks people's brains up, you know? I mean, I would feel bad if I were him too. He did some fucked up shit over there. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stabby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stabby's World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out.

• 14:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STABB. Terms apply. Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up. It's dark outside, fast. You're getting off. You gotta switch from summer to the fall? That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else.

• 15:05Stavros Halkias?

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• 15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi. Uh, yeah, I, I remember watching that in, in high school and being like, damn. This guy's fuck, this guy's fucking smart. Yeah, I, I actually respected McNamara after watching that.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  Does he say anything smart in that? That's a whole big point in a sec. He's like, I was the first guy to think you should think about what your enemies are thinking.

• 16:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  No, I just. That seems like a basic requirement for a fucking job.

• 16:29Stavros Halkias?

  I was just, you know, 15 and being like, shit, this guy's fucking smart.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, anyone, anyone that bold is like impressive to you.

• 16:36Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Especially at that time.

• 16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wearing a suit.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  I was, I was a big Donald Rumsfeld head.

• 16:44Speaker 04

  I thought Rumsfeld was so cool and a genius.

• 16:49Stavros Halkias?

  I respected Colin Powell personally.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  You remember being a teenager and finding out how long Rumsfeld and Cheney had been in government?

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 04

  Like, it seemed like, cause you know, you don't know anything and you're like, well, these guys, this must be their first time. Here and they're just bad at it. There's like pictures from the 30s.

• 17:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, yeah, they're wearing like Princeton, like fucking pea sweat. They're like playing football with fucking leather helmets on and shit like that.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  I love, I love those old photos of Rumsfeld when he was on Team B with Wolfowitz because all of those guys had.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Was Rumsfeld on Team B or did he just?

• 17:21Speaker 02

  I think he was on Team B.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  I could be wrong though.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  I think it was just, he was one of, one of the, the people behind it.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Like he, like he, he incubated the thoughts for, like.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  He pushed for it, yeah. Cause Wolfowitz was, but I mean, I could be wrong. I don't, cause he was.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Wolfowitz was working for DOD at the time for sure.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  But wasn't, he was already, Rumsfeld was already the Secretary of Defense?

• 17:46Speaker 02

  No, see, he, Rumsfeld. Right, he was the Secretary of Defense under Ford, you're right. Yeah.

• 17:52Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, really? What the fuck?

• 17:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was the youngest ever Secretary of Defense.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  He's, he's, he's the youngest and oldest Secretary of Defense.

• 17:58Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, nice. That's fucking cool.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  But all of them, whether it was Wolfowitz or Rumsfeld, everyone except Gerald Ford had those stupid sideburns.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Like, everyone agreed to get those.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, the seventies talk show.

• 18:11Stavros Halkias?

  Look up, look up Young, dude. Look up Young. Let's see how sexy he is.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  He was hot when he was young.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  It's like if you looked at a photo-

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's pretty sexy.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  It's like if you, you looked at a photo from the Bush administration and like, half the guys have cornrows.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  He's already like, he's already like fifty years old in that age.

• 18:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  He was born in like nineteen oh five.

• 18:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  He was-

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, look at him as a wrestler. Okay.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:39Stavros Halkias?

  I wouldn't mind taking him to the steam room and after with a singlet on. He literally did go to Princeton? Hilarious.

• 18:48Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, how much weird gay shit were the leaders of the free world up to when they were like nineteen in Princeton? And Yale and all that kinda shit?

• 18:55Speaker 02

  I mean-

• 18:56Stavros Halkias?

  They were jacking, is the skull and bone shit real where they're jacking off?

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  But that was, that's more, that's more, uh, uh, uh, uh, poppy.

• 19:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  I mean, like, all of that-

• 19:08Speaker 04

  Rumsfeld was kind of like an outsider, sort of.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Rumsfeld was from Illinois.

• 19:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's their whole thing, right? They were all fucking losers, but then because, because Nixon, uh, got fucking-

• 19:18Speaker 04

  He brought in the losers. He said, let's bring in the-

• 19:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, no, no, didn't-

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like Revenge of the Nerds.

• 19:24Stavros Halkias?

  Was it something where like, because he got fucking impeached? It was like, it really was just a bunch of fucking dickheads got to be in the Ford administration or something?

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Well, a lot of, definitely a lot of, like, of the upper and upper middle echelons of the Nixon administration, like, either did just like, straight away, have to go to like a criminal trial or resign in shame.

• 19:44Speaker 04

  The Ford administration changed like halfway through. There was some big controversy where they swapped the entire cabinet.

• 19:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:52Stavros Halkias?

  And that's where these motherfuckers came in?

• 19:54Speaker 04

  Was it called, it's like the, the-

• 19:55Stavros Halkias?

  I remember this-

• 19:56Speaker 04

  It's like the Halloween massacre or something. Some dumb name for it.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I don't think it was one of the massacres, but was it like Abscam or like, or no, Abscam was the eighties.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can't remember.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  But, and then Hongsong Park was during Carter, so it couldn't be that.

• 20:12Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows dude?

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Now we're getting into what was Felix about territory?

• 20:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  This is my favorite thing to do. Now that I'm middle aged is not remember something and be like, what was it?

• 20:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, that feels as good as knowing something. It's not knowing. Sort of vaguely maybe knowing it and then looking it up and being like, that's right.

• 20:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I didn't know. I honestly knew shit for like maybe six months. Like I was smart maybe for like six months when I knew shit like this. And now it's all gone.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Why you should beat off all these pictures?

• 20:46Stavros Halkias?

  Of young Donald Rumsfeld?

• 20:48Speaker 04

  I sat by, above my bed. I had a bunk bed.

• 20:53Stavros Halkias?

  You're an only child, but you had a bunk bed?

• 20:57Speaker 04

  I had a Dick Cheney body pillow. And I would trade off. I would either be on the top beating off Rumsfeld or fucking the Dick Cheney body pillow.

• 21:08Stavros Halkias?

  I love that shit dude. Did you ever hear, when you guys were roommates, you ever hear him jack off to Dick Cheney vids? Felix?

• 21:14Speaker 04

  No, just yakity sex.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  That's when you knew. That's when you knew. We're up to no good.

• 21:21Stavros Halkias?

  You did have a fucked up weird, did you have a bunk bed in, when you guys lived together?

• 21:24Speaker 04

  I did. Well, when I was in that first room.

• 21:25Stavros Halkias?

  You had a loft bed?

• 21:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, I built that loft bed and it was like, I remember my girlfriend at the time, like

• 21:31Stavros Halkias?

  Hysterical.

• 21:32Speaker 04

  I moved in, she was like, cause I lived with Chinese people before that.

• 21:34Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that very well.

• 21:36Speaker 04

  And so I moved in with Amber and she's like, well finally I can like, you know, I can finally come over to your place. And then I built a bed that was 27 inches wide.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  And she's like, well where am I gonna sleep? And I'm like, at your fucking apartment.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  There was no ladder too, to be able to fill up and get up, to get into the bed.

• 21:56Stavros Halkias?

  I remember like the week you moved in, me and Amber were like, he's gonna be so happy. He doesn't have to share a bathroom with nine people.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:05Stavros Halkias?

  Guaranteed electricity. And then the first week you were just like, this fucking sucks. I used to be able to walk to my jam. I hate this.

• 22:14Speaker 04

  I was so depressed having to move to Brooklyn.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  But yeah, I ran out of money and then it would have felt bad to like to like an immigrant Chinese family being like, well, technically I got six months before you can evict me.

• 22:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  You're just gonna have to deal with not getting rent from me. So the second I didn't have the cash, I just left.

• 22:32Stavros Halkias?

  I do remember, that was very funny that you literally just lived with a fa- like at first you lived in that weird office building.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 22:38Stavros Halkias?

  That was completely not zoned for humans and there was.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  I remember when the, cause the guy that owns Dr. J's bought that building.

• 22:44Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  And then like, I g- I don't know, it was like inspectors or something that came in and it was like two guys from Con Ed and they were looking at the gas lines. I think it was after that building blew up on Second Avenue.

• 22:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  And I could hear the Con Ed guys being like, what the fuck?

• 23:01Stavros Halkias?

  Like scared to be in there?

• 23:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:05Stavros Halkias?

  But, but then you just lived at a fucking Chinese family's house.

• 23:09Speaker 04

  And they were great. They were awesome.

• 23:11Stavros Halkias?

  I remember, cause we basically moved, I helped you move and you bed like two boxes.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  And everything you had fit in my Honda Civic at the time. And I remember it was like, there, like you just would like sit at a table with some fucking teenager who was like playing World of Warcraft.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, well.

• 23:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's where you would like work.

• 23:29Speaker 04

  That, well, no, I would, I would, I would be in my room. Cause there was, there wasn't much room in the apart- the entire apartment was maybe twice the size of this room.

• 23:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  But yeah, that kid would sit and he would play like some online RPG and he had a Chinese accent, but he would say the N-word.

• 23:46Stavros Halkias?

  Was that your first apartment, Felix, when you moved to New York? You moved with Amber or no?

• 23:49Speaker 04

  You lived with an old man, didn't you?

• 23:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you lived in Astoria, didn't you?

• 23:52Speaker 02

  No, I, I lived in Astoria, yeah, for like two months or less, I think. But it was with, that was the first like Trump person I ever met was the woman I was subletting from.

• 24:02Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  And I was subletting her couch just in the middle of her living room. And she was like the oldest person with BPD I ever met.

• 24:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  Like she would do that like really, she would do that weird old person thing of like, when they, you, you remember like when I was, I, I was young and I would always wear like skimpy tops? Very low body fat. Where they hit on you by going like, you look like one of those Sarkisians that Elizabeth Taylor played in a movie. Like some weird racial category you've never heard of.

• 24:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  And then like, like, I would, I would leave and then come back like 12 hours later. And she would be like, your shoes are poking out from the middle of your cot. Someone's gonna trip over it and die. And I'd be like, Jesus, fuck, I'm not even related to you.

• 24:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  But yeah, I, Amber's was like the first real place I've lived in.

• 24:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah, dude.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  That was, god.

• 24:55Stavros Halkias?

  That was like the Parisian salon, dude. Three intellectuals, three podcasters. That's like Hemingway having fucking, uh, whiskeys with whoever the fuck.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  I had to go to LA for work and then Will Menaker sublided my room.

• 25:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god, that's hilarious.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  I'm pretty sure I told him when I was coming back, but I like came back and I got off the plane and I like went in my room and he was like, still asleep.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  His like ass was kind of out. And he was like, oh, shit.

• 25:26Stavros Halkias?

  Will was climbing up into your fucking little room.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  No, no, no, this, after Felix moved out, I moved into his room.

• 25:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, that's right, that's right.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Cause that front room was tiny.

• 25:35Stavros Halkias?

  That room was small as shit.

• 25:36Speaker 04

  And then Andrew was only charging me like 400 bucks a month.

• 25:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  It was a closet.

• 25:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:41Stavros Halkias?

  That was hilarious.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  That was such a great time because like my rent was, it was like $600, I think.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  It was $550 because I moved into that room and it was.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah. But like, the podcast happened like in the middle of that.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  You're right.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  There weren't that many, like, it happened like pretty quick. And there were days where I just like, I was just like, I need to spend, like, I'm not spending enough.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Like buy a second Xbox.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  I would like just order sushi that just sat in the refrigerator for like months.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  Amber, Amber had that TV that didn't work and it was just on like cinder block.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:18Speaker 04

  And then, yeah, the second like, I made, first time I made money, I was like, I'm getting a big screen.

• 26:22Stavros Halkias?

  Big ass TV.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  Big screen TV back when you still called them that.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, dude.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  And I got that TV and Playstation 4.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 26:29Stavros Halkias?

  Playstation and TVs all around. That first Patreon check hit, dude.

• 26:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:34Stavros Halkias?

  Immediately, we all got Playstations and big ass TVs.

• 26:38Speaker 02

  I was still, I was still playing Xbox with like, oh weird like, you know, one of those like kitchen TVs.

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yes, yes.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Like when Michael Scott's like plasma.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  I had one of those on a metal folding chair in front of my bed.

• 26:57Stavros Halkias?

  I know, that apartment sucked so much shit. You got how rich everyone in there was and how dog shit it was. It was fucking always messy.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  I was hanging on to it.

• 27:07Stavros Halkias?

  Ernest was fucking always like shitting, fucking throwing up everywhere. The fat cat, the fat diseased cat.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  My first night ever in there, like the first time I moved in and like, you know, got my floor mattress set up and was like, ah, finally not a couch.

• 27:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Crazy woman's living room and Ernest immediately like clawed the door open and took a shit on the floor mattress and left.

• 27:30Stavros Halkias?

  On the mattress?

• 27:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:34Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude, what disrespect.

• 27:36Speaker 04

  That was a great cat.

• 27:36Stavros Halkias?

  That was a great cat. He was, but he would throw up constantly.

• 27:39Speaker 04

  He had to get his ear removed.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  Cause he wouldn't stop like picking at it.

• 27:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, it was disgusting.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  We're just gonna cut it off.

• 27:50Stavros Halkias?

  I know. He was indoors, we had open sores constantly and he was just throw up and have diarrhea inside like every three days.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:59Stavros Halkias?

  Great stuff.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Twenty-eight.

• 28:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he was fat as shit, old as shit.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:03Stavros Halkias?

  Respect. When did Amber even get him? Like, he was old already, right?

• 28:07Speaker 04

  I think he was, she said he was already eleven when she got him.

• 28:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy, dude.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  I think he came from Indiana.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  He came from Indiana. That was the other funny thing about him, that he was like white trash.

• 28:20Stavros Halkias?

  He literally was just a fat, white trash cat from the fucking heartland.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  He would always sexually harass the other cat.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Don't got me bang.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, salute to him.

• 28:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:36Stavros Halkias?

  Were you, did you have any pets? Although, I never had pets growing, we all had fucking, we always had fucking asthma. Were you guys pet guys?

• 28:43Speaker 04

  Cats, yeah.

• 28:44Stavros Halkias?

  Cats.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  There's always been cats around my entire life.

• 28:46Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting. That's why you're so feminine.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Even ma- ma- no.

• 28:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's why you have feminine tendencies, because you've been around cats.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  I wouldn't say I have feminine tendencies.

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's true.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Don't say that at all. In fact, I need the cats to kind of pull me back.

• 29:02Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay. Okay, okay, from the masculine ledge.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  I remember that brief period I didn't have a cat and I was just, I was getting like way too much pussy.

• 29:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  It was scary.

• 29:13Stavros Halkias?

  I remember it differently, I remember you didn't have a cat, you'd, so there's like a lot of guys around. There was like a lot of jacked guys around.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  To train.

• 29:21Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it started that way, but then you guys, you invited them over for a fight.

• 29:26Speaker 04

  Look, sometimes you get tired of fighting.

• 29:29Speaker 04

  You gotta take it up a notch to prove you're not gay to yourself.

• 29:33Stavros Halkias?

  When you had a squat rack in your bedroom?

• 29:35Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 29:35Stavros Halkias?

  That, that was a straight, that was a very straight time in your life?

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:39Stavros Halkias?

  When you were just working out constantly?

• 29:41Speaker 04

  I had the cat then, though.

• 29:42Stavros Halkias?

  You did have a cat, you're right, you're right. I, I take it back. Felix, did you have pets, bro?

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, we had, um, uh, I mean, uh, we, Obama copied us. We had a Portuguese water dog.

• 29:54Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, and you're from Chicago, so you definitely knew about it.

• 29:57Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Yeah.

• 29:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he was, he was asking around.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  Obama ruined a lot of stuff. He made a lot of stuff not cool.

• 30:02Stavros Halkias?

  He definitely did.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:04Stavros Halkias?

  Well, what about the rumor that he was getting pussy from Jennifer Aniston?

• 30:07Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 30:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's pretty obvious.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  I, I was in LA like ten years ago and I stayed with, uh, there was this girl, Sam Pitchell, that used to like, she worked on like, like industry side stuff.

• 30:19Stavros Halkias?

  Uh huh.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  And I stayed at her place and, uh, she had to like work or something, so I was just at her like apartment, like her house, like all day, and I was out in the backyard and there was this big ass tur- there was a turtle that was like this.

• 30:30Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  It was a giant turtle. And so I was like, and you, turtles are retarded, so I was just pulling the grass up and feeding the turtle grass. And then she came home and I was like, how long have you had this turtle? She's like, well, it's like, I don't know where that came from.

• 30:46Stavros Halkias?

  That was just a turtle?

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, this giant fucking monster that like made its way into her backyard.

• 30:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I was talking to her for like fifteen minutes while playing with the turtle and she didn't react in any way. She's like, no, I haven't. That's not my turtle.

• 30:59Stavros Halkias?

  She thought you brought the turtle with you?

• 31:00Speaker 04

  I don't know. I don't know. I guess maybe that's a regular thing in LA.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  A big turtle shows up in your yard.

• 31:05Stavros Halkias?

  Turtle would be a great pet though, because it is, it looks kinda cool.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, and you can pick them up and they're just, it's like a big dinner plate.

• 31:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and they're pretty much helpless.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:14Stavros Halkias?

  Slow, they're not really gonna bu- you don't wanna, the snapping ones piss me off.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  Those are crazy. Those are scary.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  I don't think anyone owns those though, right?

• 31:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're wild animals.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  They're using those as a prison though.

• 31:26Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm?

• 31:26Speaker 04

  They have, they're using them to guard the prison.

• 31:31Stavros Halkias?

  A snapping turtle Alcatraz?

• 31:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:34Stavros Halkias?

  That would be pretty scary.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  That is pretty fucked up.

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  It is insanely fucked up.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  It's bad enough to have a concentration camp, but then to like incorporate-

• 31:41Stavros Halkias?

  To work on the brand?

• 31:42Speaker 04

  Fucking alligators on-

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Imagine, imagine if you were in the Holocaust and like you just get separated from your wife and then Benny Johnson shows up. Hey everyone, it's our first day here!

• 31:54Speaker 04

  Or even if they had like chimps outside of Auschwitz.

• 31:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  So even if you made it past the towers, you're losing your hands.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's so, they rip your dick off. That's so fucked up. Yeah dude, it's so fucking, it's so weird and like, it's like they're working on branding for a concentration camp. They're thinking about po- they're like, uh, yeah, maybe we won't, we won't like ruin that many immigrants' lives, but the posts are gonna be awesome. Like you know they care more about how they're perceived. It's so fucking bizarre, dude.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, and doing it like right after Trump made that announcement where it's like, alright, we figured out if we'd like to pour too many people, it uh ruins the service economy. You know that thing we've been saying about wage competition? Actually, we need that. Actually, it turns out that's how this entire thing works.

• 32:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know dude. It's fu- it is fucking insane.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  Which is to say like, oh, we need them to steal your jobs.

• 32:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. We did like the racist aspect of separating families, but it's actually fucking up our billionaire friends.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  We need them to steal your jobs, so we can't kick them out unfortunately.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  We looked, we looked into it. It turns out we can't, we can't switch to an export economy in like three weeks.

• 33:08Speaker 04

  We tried.

• 33:10Stavros Halkias?

  What do we even make here? Energy drinks?

• 33:13Speaker 02

  We make pharmaceuticals and weapon systems.

• 33:15Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Those are like-

• 33:17Stavros Halkias?

  Podcasts, of course.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  I mean, our, I don't know if that's our biggest thing by volume that we export, but those are like, the, the, like, marquee American products now.

• 33:26Stavros Halkias?

  Is pharmaceuticals?

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Pharmaceuticals and, uh, weapon systems.

• 33:30Stavros Halkias?

  Nice. So maybe a gun that shoots dick pills into your mouth.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  That'd be cool.

• 33:34Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we could do two for one, dude. That would be fucking sick. Imagine, dude, imagine you're about to get your dick sucked, and you're, your dick's soft, and you're like,

• 33:44Stavros Halkias?

  you can get the fucking, the pleasure of killing yourself, but then your dick gets hard.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  That's what happened with Art Bud Dwyer. He was like, he said, "Don't look at this if you're sensitive," because he was gonna get his dick sucked one last time. And then he, he packed the wrong gun that day.

• 33:59Stavros Halkias?

  He packed his bullet gun, not his dick pill gun.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Classic mistake.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  And that's why he was bad at fucking government or whatever the fuck. Isn't the thing he killed himself over, like, so pathetic?

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Well-

• 34:10Stavros Halkias?

  Was it like-

• 34:11Speaker 02

  A lot of-

• 34:11Stavros Halkias?

  Was he a news guy? I don't, I just remember the video.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  He was a state legislator.

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  He, and some people think he was framed, but there was, I think, like, a documentary about it.

• 34:21Stavros Halkias?

  But isn't it like, he committed like mail fraud or something?

• 34:24Speaker 02

  It's a very penny amount of money compared to like, anything now, yeah. It's, you know, fucking nothing compared to now.

• 34:31Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, a looming prison sentence for what? Accepting a bribe? In exchange for a, a computer contract? How big was the bribe?

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Think about how shitty that contract was between the state of Pennsylvania and Computer Technology Associates.

• 34:46Stavros Halkias?

  In like, eighties? It was like a Pong, it was like installing Pong on the public computers.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, yeah, what was that deal? We'll drive you home if you give this to us?

• 34:59Stavros Halkias?

  Nah, he's the guy, he, he's the guy who, uh, he installed, uh, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego on all the library computers? That was big and struggling.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  I'm surprised they haven't turned that into a big movie franchise yet.

• 35:11Stavros Halkias?

  Well, Carmen Sandiego?

• 35:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:13Stavros Halkias?

  I would watch that shit.

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  I thought you meant Bud Dwyer.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  With Gal Gadot.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  And she's in Israel.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  And there is no Palestine.

• 35:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, they're like, yeah.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  They guess Palestine and the children go to jail.

• 35:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, if you guess Palestine, they arrest you.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  You're fired.

• 35:32Stavros Halkias?

  That place doesn't exist.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  Take his badge and his gun.

• 35:37Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, gumshoes, you're going to Alligator Auschwitz for that.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  Alligator Auschwitz would be cool. I said it wouldn't, but now I'm thinking it would be.

• 35:47Stavros Halkias?

  You think it's good?

• 35:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm against it personally.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  Not the one in Florida, if they reopen the one in Poland.

• 35:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting. It's like an amusement park?

• 35:55Speaker 04

  But they're like cold alligators.

• 35:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 35:58Speaker 04

  Their alligators are like the cold.

• 35:59Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  I thought, I thought you meant like Auschwitz with more like a Cajun theme. Like a Mardi Gras type of thing?

• 36:07Speaker 04

  It's like Dick's Last Resort.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 36:11Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just rude to you.

• 36:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's a very interesting, yeah, that's a really good idea for tourism. We open up a Nazi-themed Dick's Last Resort.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  It's just like a bunch of naked Jewish guys standing in line, they're all emaciated, and some guy puts a hat on his head that says, "World's smallest."

• 36:41Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome to Dick's Last.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Welcome to Dick's Last Camp.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is literally the, that's, Ron DeSantis is gonna open that as well. I mean, that's, we're not, that is not that far away from an alligator like concentration camp, is the sad thing.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Going to Dick's Last Resort with, with Brian Six, it's Gang Fest, was, is one of my favorite memories.

• 37:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  Cause he just couldn't handle it, he's like, got into it.

• 37:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he just didn't understand?

• 37:08Speaker 04

  No, I mean, he understood, but it was still like, you know, it's him, so he's like.

• 37:12Stavros Halkias?

  Six is the man, dude.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  He's like fucking, he's like getting mad.

• 37:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  He's like, I think he called the waitress the N-word, not to her face, but. He's like, so, he's like, someone should say that.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  Call my glasses gay? How about I say the N-word to you?

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, what if I did?

• 37:31Speaker 02

  What did they say?

• 37:32Speaker 04

  I could win if I wanted.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  What did they say that got him so mad? Or it's just like the, just the concept itself?

• 37:41Speaker 04

  I don't even think they fucked with him.

• 37:42Stavros Halkias?

  Being disrespected.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  He was ready, yeah.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Oh, that, well that, I mean, he is the guy who said, you know, fuck with my friends and family.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  He took it as a challenge, yeah.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  That actually is very much, you know, kinda what he's like. Fuck with my friends and family, I'll call you the N-word.

• 37:56Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you cannot take Philly white trash to a place like that, man.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  No.

• 37:59Stavros Halkias?

  They don't understand, they're not having a good time, it's not fun to them.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  The Yelp reviews of all those places are good, because there's always one or two where somebody didn't know what they did into it. It's like, they called my eight-year-old daughter a whore.

• 38:12Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it is true, it's like, to actually be good at that, you do kinda have to thread a needle, but I'm sure a lot of people just are bad at it. Like, they just overdo it, you know? Like, that's the kinda job that people who think they're funny get, and they probably would call, like, you know, some guy in a wheelchair a cripple or something, you know what I mean? Like, they would just take it way too fucking far. I've never been there, I'm too, you know, they wouldn't be even be able to make fun of me for anything.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  It would close down the restaurant, dude.

• 38:40Speaker 04

  Right. That's why the restaurant would close down.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  Not because the deep fryer would be so overworked.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, but the deep fryer-

• 38:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it would be because I'm too sexy. And not make fun of bull about, make fun of bullying, whatever, you get it?

• 39:00Speaker 04

  We're out of appetizers.

• 39:06Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, fuck. Damn, I would like a nice, fuck it, there's nothing quite like the general, like, appetizer platter that give you any-

• 39:13Speaker 04

  The sampler. You know, you can't decide? You know you just wanna hurt yourself?

• 39:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, just ordering one of those for yourself is brutal.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I need, I need to try, I need three mozzarella sticks, two shitty chips.

• 39:26Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know what jalapeno poppers are, I need those plus boneless buffalo wings.

• 39:32Stavros Halkias?

  And some onion rings.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  I think it's the type of thing an emperor would order.

• 39:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Just a little bit of all the cuisines.

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely right. That is true. I do like that shit. I like the, I like that. I like a poo poo platter.

• 39:45Speaker 04

  That'd be cool if they, they did emperor, if the emperor's new clothes parable. It was actually about tricking the emperor into eating shit.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 39:54Speaker 04

  And it wasn't even, it wasn't clothes.

• 39:56Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 39:56Speaker 04

  It's probably another dimension.

• 39:58Stavros Halkias?

  He's full of clothes, he's fully clothed.

• 40:00Speaker 04

  Clothes, it's the guys, they, they work at a restaurant, they show up and they're like, we're gonna make you an awesome meal.

• 40:05Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  And the emperor's bragging about it and then he brings all the townspeople out and then he's just eating shit.

• 40:11Speaker 04

  And he's also naked.

• 40:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and then he pulls his dick out. He's like, and by the way, my clothes are cool too, aren't they?

• 40:19Speaker 04

  It's called the coolest emperor.

• 40:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck dude.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  Damn, now I wanna fucking.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  The emperor's new penis.

• 40:29Stavros Halkias?

  That would be cool.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  They made the emperor the biggest penis anyone's ever seen.

• 40:32Stavros Halkias?

  What is the emperor's new groove about?

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Uh, they write a song for him and his clothes fall off.

• 40:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 40:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's not the naked emperor, right?

• 40:40Speaker 04

  No, that's the emperor's new clothes.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  I don't know how, I don't know how you would get a feature out of that.

• 40:45Stavros Halkias?

  Out of what?

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Like a feature length film out of like.

• 40:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can figure it out.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  Spend a lot of time on B plots.

• 40:51Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like really showing his dick.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 40:54Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like really animating his dick.

• 40:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. I remember Eartha Kitt's in it. I remember I actually got head watching this one time. Oh, yeah, David Spade is in it. People seem to fuck with it. It was never, I guess it came out in 2000. I was too old to give a fuck about shit like this.

• 41:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've never seen it. I was thinking about watching Finding Nemo.

• 41:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's good.

• 41:15Speaker 04

  I've never seen.

• 41:16Stavros Halkias?

  I watched it, uh, a friend of mine, her baby loves, uh, like aquatic shit. So I've watched Finding Nemo, Finding Dory. That man just came to my house, sat in my chair and put on Finding Nemo. He's fucking a year and a half years old. And he was just like, he just didn't give a fuck about anything. He was like, he just sat in my fucking ergonomic chair.

• 41:38Speaker 04

  That's crazy. He knows how to use a remote.

• 41:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he figured it out.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Does he speak?

• 41:41Stavros Halkias?

  I think he was like, I think someone, yeah, he can speak. He's pretty smart. And I think it was like already, I think it was like, uh, pulled up, but he fucking. Like I think his mom was like, all right, if you're good, we'll put on Finding Nemo or something. And he just fucking took that shit started and was like. Just fucking post it up. It's fucking awesome. And it's funny, when you see a baby watching TV, you're like, oh, he's smart, he's not an iPad baby. He's watching TV is basically reading books. Yeah, absolutely.

• 42:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:12Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking iPad kids.

• 42:13Speaker 04

  You know what I'm thinking about, I know, cause I never watched it when it was on, but I've been thinking about getting into Game of Thrones now.

• 42:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  Cause no one's talking about it, and I could just enjoy it. It could be a thing that only I know about.

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. It's pretty good. You know, I liked it. I watched the first epis- I watched the first season, then I read the books. Cause I watched the first season.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  Kurt used to have that bit about that guy being from New Jersey that was so funny.

• 42:37Stavros Halkias?

  He is, yeah, yeah.

• 42:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:38Stavros Halkias?

  He's from Jersey, he loves the Jets and shit.

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:41Stavros Halkias?

  And he ju- there's that picture of him with a bunch of black ladies, that's pretty fun. But I think he's had the same girlfriend.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  That guy must hate his fans.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  Oh, he does.

• 42:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, probably.

• 42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  Imagine how you write three books, and it's like the biggest thing in the world, and they're like, you have to write more.

• 42:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  And he takes 11 years to do it, and they're like, this sucks, do it differently.

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  He's like, look, I'm trying to just buy a model train hat.

• 43:06Stavros Halkias?

  Well dude, yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  I he- I love how he, he commit- he never wears a different type of hat.

• 43:13Speaker 04

  That's the, like, this is the look of the guy that hangs out at the coffee shop, who's 65 years old, and he has a hot girlfriend.

• 43:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Who's busted, but 20.

• 43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at his wife.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  A caveman looking woman with just some giant sloppy tits.

• 43:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. But honestly, for him.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  One of those 21 year old girls who just like genetically, there's no eyebrows. Never grows on that fat line.

• 43:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah, dude.

• 43:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude. George R.R. Martin and Par- what's her name, Paris McBride?

• 43:46Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck it. You think he's getting pussy outside the marriage now that he's rich and famous?

• 43:50Speaker 04

  Oh, definitely. Look at him.

• 43:54Speaker 04

  Imagine you're a young lady, that guy comes up to you like, "Jiffy move", and he's like, "I invented dragons."

• 43:59Speaker 02

  I saw him on Field the other day.

• 44:03Speaker 04

  I came up, I invented, uh, knights.

• 44:05Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, you don't think this guy, a bitch, uh, uh, uh, Ren Faire style bitch would fuck this guy? You're out of your mind. She would love to.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  I guess. I mean, I'm, you're probably right.

• 44:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Who you're, the best version of who you're describing about like the coffee shop?

• 44:22Speaker 04

  I believe you. I mean, I say, but I, those guys already do that and they're like, they're like an adjunct professor in a community college.

• 44:28Stavros Halkias?

  True, true, true, true.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  There are a lot of like, girls who loved dragons, dude.

• 44:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. I think he would get sucked to oblivion if he wanted to.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Probably every time he goes back to Bayonne.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  He hits up the dicks to Bayonne.

• 44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck yeah, dude. Shout out to George R R Martin.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  Did you read the books after the, watching the show?

• 44:51Stavros Halkias?

  I watched the first season. I liked it and I was like, damn, I want to know what happens. And I just read the books and I didn't watch the rest of it.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  Are the books good?

• 44:59Stavros Halkias?

  They're pretty good. I don't know. I was in, it was literally freshman year of college.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 45:02Stavros Halkias?

  I fucking, and then I stole, I torrented the audi, the, the Kindle files. So I stole that shit, dude. Yeah, I was pretty fucking, I was a badass, dude. I was stealing Kindle fucking files. Reading and shit like that. I'm an intellectual, much like Felix.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, no, I, um, I, when we were talking about my first apartment in Astoria, I remember, uh, reading a torrented PDF of Preacher at the same time.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  That type of literature.

• 45:36Stavros Halkias?

  Preacher or Reacher?

• 45:37Speaker 02

  No, preacher.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  You see they got a Kindle now that's like colored so you can read comic books on it?

• 45:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck that, dude.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  It's like.

• 45:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's an iPad.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 45:47Stavros Halkias?

  But you could probably read, uh, Chapo Year Zero on that shit.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  You could, if you've totally given up and you've gotten the, the color Kindle.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Now, I just think people be like, oh man, I can't wait till I can watch movies on my Kindle.

• 46:04Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they have the Kindle Fire.

• 46:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  Which is just an iPad.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  My mom got that. I check out that station at Best Buy every time I'm there.

• 46:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep, yep.

• 46:12Speaker 04

  I make a lot of trips to Best Buy.

• 46:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah?

• 46:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, just to walk around.

• 46:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I do like the various stations, of course.

• 46:19Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, checking out, yeah, there's a lot of different tablets. You got Microsoft, you got the Kindle.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  The Kindle.

• 46:26Stavros Halkias?

  Uh...

• 46:26Speaker 04

  Microsoft Copilot, that's their AI.

• 46:29Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  They have like, they have so many different AI.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  They got rid of Cortana, you remember Cortana?

• 46:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Cortana's gone, dude?

• 46:34Speaker 04

  Cortana's gone, it's Copilot now.

• 46:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's a sexy name, dude. People were probably getting too horny at Cortana.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  Wasn't it from Halo?

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 46:42Speaker 04

  And then they made it, they made it...

• 46:43Speaker 02

  The Halo Cortana came first.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  And then they made it real?

• 46:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, look up Cortana, fucking idiot. Who gives a fuck about Microsoft Co- Copilot? And Cortana is pretty sexy.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, well Cortana, according to Halo lore, she's like the, not the consciousness, but the personality and kind of the face of the woman who made her, I think.

• 47:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 47:06Speaker 02

  I don't really know Halo lore that well. I dropped out of college before that.

• 47:10Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, Halo's fucking good. Oooh. Didn't they make a TV show about that shit, but it sucked? People were mad about it?

• 47:21Speaker 04

  They made a Halo TV show?

• 47:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I get a lot of clips on my, on like YouTube shorts and it's like...

• 47:26Speaker 04

  That was the biggest YouTube channel, was like the, do people like dub?

• 47:32Speaker 02

  Oh, Red Versus Blue.

• 47:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  That was pre YouTube, though.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  Was it?

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was just, you would just go to redversusblue.com and like download a QuickTime file.

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  And what was it?

• 47:42Speaker 04

  It was like they would record gameplay and then dub it, so it was like a sitcom.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:48Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:49Stavros Halkias?

  Were those the same guys that did the jugg- I'm the juggernaut bitch? Where people would do that shit, they would dub over like X-Men?

• 47:56Speaker 02

  I think that was an independent filmmaker.

• 47:58Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, yeah.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  I think it's a different guy, but those are, those people became fucking, what was it? Rooster Tooth.

• 48:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  That's who they became.

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  What is Rooster Tooth?

• 48:09Speaker 04

  It's an animation studio in Austin, right?

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:14Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. Wait, how long were you in college for those?

• 48:17Speaker 04

  Oh, there he is.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  No, I was, I was joking.

• 48:20Stavros Halkias?

  You never went to college?

• 48:21Speaker 02

  No, I went to college, I didn't drop out.

• 48:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, pussy. This fucking pussy went, dude, this guy went to college. Him and Eldis both have degrees, Nick. Can you believe these fucking losers?

• 48:30Speaker 04

  That's a mistake.

• 48:33Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, you studied, you, you just studied like fucking history or whatever the fuck?

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Uh, kind of, yeah. I, I mean, I, I, how would have anyone like predicted the Patreon economy? But like, I did, I don't know. I wish I had studied like, literature or something.

• 48:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  I did, uh, international relations and it was just.

• 48:54Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck yeah, dude.

• 48:56Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  You're gonna be in the US? Dating an Asian woman?

• 49:02Speaker 04

  How to get an Asian girlfriend? It's like year five, you're like, when are we gonna learn?

• 49:08Speaker 04

  What I thought.

• 49:09Stavros Halkias?

  What kind of sushi rolls should I order?

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:11Stavros Halkias?

  Which one?

• 49:12Speaker 04

  When I was in San Francisco, I saw a white guy walking around with like this like ten, perfect ten, Japanese lady.

• 49:19Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  And they're walking around and then he turns to her and he's like, Yakatukado, katukadoka, he starts speaking Japanese to her and I'm like, this has been like a 25 year plan.

• 49:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's the happiest guy that's ever existed, dude.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  This guy, he had a goal.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  It's like, it's almost like it reminded me of like, you know, the Killdozer guy? The guy that like sealed himself off from society and built like a tank to destroy the police department?

• 49:45Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  That's what this guy, he's like, I'm not, because that's probably the only woman he's ever fucked. He was like, I'm gonna learn everything about Japan and then fucking put the money together and then go get one.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he probably also fucked geishas to get ready. Like he probably bought pussy from geishas in traditional.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:01Stavros Halkias?

  Like you would go to like, remote villages where that's still going on.

• 50:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:04Stavros Halkias?

  He would like get poured fucking tea and shit like that.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, pouring tea all over his cock. Burning hot tea.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  That's the closest thing to like the plot of Gattaca, what that guy did.

• 50:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, basically, yeah. He's like the Gattaca guy.

• 50:19Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, that's the one where it's like genetic splicing?

• 50:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, he uses Jude Law's blood so he can go to the moon.

• 50:25Stavros Halkias?

  And get pussy from Charlize Theron?

• 50:27Speaker 04

  I don't know if he's even trying to get pussy.

• 50:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 50:29Speaker 04

  He just wanted to be an astronaut or something. And he had a, he has like a heart condition. And they could tell by his blood, so he wasn't, he was like excluded from the program.

• 50:39Stavros Halkias?

  So he steals blood?

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Charlize Theron has the heart condition. He's just like, his parents had two brothers and they're like, "All right, let's give one like the good genetic bullshit and then have one normal." And the normal one's like, like, of course his life is shit.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  And like when they-

• 50:55Speaker 04

  But he's got, he's got drive and motivation.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:58Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  So he, doesn't he end up killing the brother by swimming too far?

• 51:01Speaker 02

  No, he doesn't kill him. He saves him.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Oh, he saves him?

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah. I love this style of podcast.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  This is the only thing that I've affirmatively known.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  I don't know, I get an abscan was in the eighties. No, okay. Here's the entire plot of Gattaca.

• 51:22Stavros Halkias?

  I remember seeing Gattaca in school.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  In Gattaca.

• 51:27Stavros Halkias?

  They showed it to us as like, in like science class, they showed us Gattaca, which I respect.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  For some reason, like, I saw that movie in the same timeframe that I saw What Dreams May Come. And they combined in my head.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  It was like a, probably like an eight-year period where there would be details from both movies in there.

• 51:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  I'm like, yeah, there's a genetic component and then he has to go to hell to find his wife.

• 51:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's a good ass movie with the Robin Williams.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  That is one of the worst movies ever made.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  I remember being eight and being like, holy fuck.

• 52:02Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, I thought it was real when I was a kid.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  You thought it was real?

• 52:07Speaker 04

  I was like, yeah, that's, that's what happens when you die.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Well, that was like a really popular, like, there would be news specials where they're like, we talked to nine people who died.

• 52:16Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  I remember Colton Burpo.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  Colton Burpo.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  This is pre Colton Burpo.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  This is pre Burpo, yeah, yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  In the ninety, I remember I saw one where it was just like, you know, some like, like electrician with a mustache and he, he got zapped like plugging a TV in and it like killed him for five minutes. And he said, I saw Jesus Christ walk into the middle of the room and he showed me in a grid, the faces of every person I'd ever insulted.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  What it felt like to get insulted by me.

• 52:49Stavros Halkias?

  In a grid. Jesus fucking had spreadsheets going.

• 52:53Speaker 04

  Jesus takes you to Dick's last resort.

• 53:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking before you get into heaven. Everyone says your dick is small. All the angels telling you your dick is small.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's the tribulation. The seven years we have to live through. The worldwide dick's last resort.

• 53:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, and the fucking mop sticks are cold and they say your dick is small.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Catholics say that you have to spend hundreds of years in Dick's last resort.

• 53:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny. I remember seeing that movie and being like, this is fucking cool, but it probably does suck dick, huh?

• 53:32Speaker 02

  When you have to rescue your wife from hell.

• 53:33Speaker 04

  Well, we, I didn't, we watched it.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  I think we did watch it.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  I think we watched it to make fun of it.

• 53:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. This is coming back to me now.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  This is why I had to stop podcasting, because there's not, there's literally no thing I could say that I haven't already. I don't remember it happening.

• 53:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I know, it is funny when people like come up to you and say a sentence and it's like, I have no recollection. And it's like, I guess something we said fucking seven years ago and they just keyed in on it, dude, I couldn't even, I don't even remember.

• 54:05Speaker 04

  I don't remember the name of the podcast.

• 54:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  We've done 500 fucking app or like more now.

• 54:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  And it's like, I see why people like go cra- and are like, I'm a fucking Catholic now. Because I like, I feel like I've said, I've said everything I can say about nuking Tel Aviv.

• 54:24Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  I get it. Like, I get, like, I get the idea of just like, I want to try something new, like.

• 54:32Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  You know, I would like to be, you know, a fiscal libertarian or something.

• 54:37Speaker 04

  It really does like, put into perspective what kind of perseverance you would have to have to be like, somebody that's in media for like 40 years.

• 54:45Stavros Halkias?

  A fucking drive time radio DJ.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Nothing changes.

• 54:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, nothing changed, like, 30 years from now, people are gonna be like, well, I don't know if we should bomb Iran.

• 54:55Speaker 04

  It'll be the same people making the decisions, it'll be 130 years old. And then you just keep, you keep saying, this is a bad idea, or this is a good idea.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I always think that, think about that when I watch like those Opie and Anthony documentaries on YouTube. How they, like, every day, they would have to get up at like 5 a.m. and do like five hours.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  It's insane.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  With like your former best friend who you hate.

• 55:20Stavros Halkias?

  10 years. It's fucking crazy. And I guess they were paid, they did get a lot of money, but still.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  They did get well.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  They got crazy money, yeah.

• 55:28Stavros Halkias?

  But still, that lifestyle, I would fucking want to kill myself.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Even waking up that early. I mean, waking up that early is nice, but only if you're waking up to silence.

• 55:36Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, have a little coffee.

• 55:37Speaker 04

  Right, waking up at 4 a.m. to chaos.

• 55:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  That like have to say the N-word.

• 55:45Speaker 04

  They're not even, the Klan wasn't even doing that.

• 55:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:47Speaker 04

  It was like an afternoon.

• 55:49Stavros Halkias?

  They were keeping racism alive.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:51Stavros Halkias?

  In that, that early in the morning.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it'd be funny, Anthony's just going over his like spreadsheet stuff like, oh, what did I see a black person do this weekend? Like, being like in a car at 4 a.m. being like, alright, let me try and remember. Yeah, dude, shout out to, see, for me, I, I just like, I see it as like. Fucking like a river running through my brain. Shit comes out, goes out the other side. I don't remember shit. And it's just like a, it's a type of zen to me, doing a podcast. I, I am like, I'm sort of, uh, completely, nothing is going on in my head at any moment that I'm podcasting. This is actually rela-, I've gotten to the point where it's relaxing now. I feel the opposite.

• 56:34Speaker 04

  Even with the lights and stuff, I mean, this is like.

• 56:37Stavros Halkias?

  Huh?

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Even with the lights?

• 56:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, this, I'm so comfortable.

• 56:40Speaker 04

  Are you?

• 56:41Stavros Halkias?

  There are some times where I'll just fucking throw a fucking show on this TV and after we're done, after we're done recording, I'll just fucking be hanging out here and watching like, a little fucking TV or whatever. That's the only way you can do it, is if you subscribe, no meaning to it whatsoever, and no like, uh, no fulfillment.

• 57:00Speaker 04

  I would get back into it if I could master another language.

• 57:03Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, podcasting it.

• 57:05Speaker 04

  Maybe I could learn, yeah, I could learn a language by podcasting.

• 57:11Stavros Halkias?

  The Mullen Duolingo Cast?

• 57:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, you just have a fucking.

• 57:18Speaker 04

  Conjugating verbs?

• 57:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 57:22Stavros Halkias?

  There would be some fucking losers who would pay, you just do a Patreon, and they would be like.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  It's a thousand dollars a month.

• 57:29Stavros Halkias?

  Mullen is a genius, he's conjugating fucking.

• 57:32Speaker 04

  It's five thousand dollars a month.

• 57:33Stavros Halkias?

  He's learning fucking Japanese.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess this is the job.

• 57:44Stavros Halkias?

  That would be fucking, you, you have to do it dude, just for fucking scientific reasons.

• 57:49Speaker 04

  Domo origato, everybody.

• 57:53Speaker 04

  Every, every bodaroo.

• 57:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, I'm so cooked in terms of learning. I'm gonna have to take lessons to like, relearn Greek basically. I wanna, I wanna like, get fluent in Greek, but the idea, people who like, learn languages at this point of life, no way dude. That's fucking crazy. Unless you're like, married to a lady. Pussy's so good that you learn Spanish.

• 58:13Speaker 04

  You have to like, have a reason to.

• 58:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? I feel like if you drop me off somewhere, eventually I'd have to fuck.

• 58:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  I wouldn't be able to just like, point.

• 58:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but where?

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Just pointing at a lady's pussy. And then the mannerisms are wrong, this means like I'm gay.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  He's like just such jacked Chinese guy coming up and slowly walking up to me. Down the street, he's naked and he gets bigger and bigger as he gets closer. I'm like, what?

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 58:50Speaker 04

  What'd I do? What's up, what's up, Stuff Elvis? I love the transcribing.

• 58:54Stavros Halkias?

  The transcribing is never good.

• 58:56Speaker 04

  What's up, Scotty? What's up, Stuff Elvis?

• 58:59Stavros Halkias?

  Stuff Elvis is a good one.

• 59:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, my name's Stuff Elvis.

• 59:03Stavros Halkias?

  Stuff Elvis is actually pretty good. Um, why don't we fucking help the people out here, Elvis? We, like we said, we have.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Starving gang, what's up, guys? Saw you on, saw you on.

• 59:13Stavros Halkias?

  Play, play the call, let's see what we got, Eld.

• 59:16Speaker 00

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• 1:00:00Speaker 00

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• 1:00:09Speaker 06

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends, everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:00:25Speaker 07

  Stavon Gang, what up guys? It's not playing. Saw you on tour this past spring. Dickhead. Stavon Gang, what up guys? There it is. Saw you on tour this past spring and just want to shout out Eldis for one of the most impressive farmers practice of all time. Eldis does have his ass out setting up the mics. I've seen your ass so much when you're fucking setting up the mics. For the show. It happens. Really put Albania on the map with that one and that image has been burned into my brain since then. My girlfriend and I are both thirty, been together a year and a half. I love her, she's great. We recently moved in together and are currently decorating. Most of the furniture is hers. I let her pick out the dining table, she has a lot of artwork, but it's all good because she has nice taste. Her main hobby and source of exercise is pole fitness or pole dancing. Pole dance?

• 1:01:10Speaker 07

  She goes to classes a couple of times a week, totally cool, totally cool, completely supportive. The issue is that now she wants to install a pole in the townhouse that we're renting. We each have our own offices, we only work from home and she's put it in there but the ceiling has vaulted and too hot for the pole. The only real option is our main floor between the kitchen and living room, right in the middle of everything. I was cool with the pole in her office of course, it's her spot, but the idea of it being kind of the centerpiece of the house has been getting to me a little bit. I already said I was fine with it because I understand the office is limited, but now I'm thinking, do I get to frame my Ed Reed jersey and put that on the living room wall? Like, do I get to add something? Maybe. That typically wouldn't go in a common area. Maybe Saudi Arabia calendar, for example.

• 1:01:52Speaker 07

  On one hand, I love that she'll be able to practice her pole moves at home and not sure what to exercise, but it just feels like a lot in the center. It's very produced. Yeah.

• 1:02:05Speaker 07

  And she'll be able to practice her pole moves at home. And, you know, she'll be able to exercise, but it just feels like a lot in the center of the house on top of most of your stuff already decorating the place. So let me know if I'm being a little bitch about this or if you'd be cool with the pole in your living room. Appreciate it y'all, thanks for the laughs.

• 1:02:23Stavros Halkias?

  Um, I mean, you kind of are being, I don't know, who fucking cares?

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  I mean, it really doesn't sound like he has an actual problem. It sounds like he wants to tell people about the townhouse.

• 1:02:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right, he has a townhouse. Your bitch can pole dance. Also, don't you think this will lead to you getting, you know, I don't know, your dick sucked while she's like hanging on the pole or something, or, you know? I mean, a- as it, as an eyesore, as a decoration eyesore, it's kind of back to what we were talking about, like putting, it's like you putting a squat rack in the middle of your fucking house, which is like, you know, some people put a fucking treadmill in their living room.

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  It wasn't in the middle of my house.

• 1:02:58Stavros Halkias?

  It was in your bedroom.

• 1:02:59Speaker 04

  It was in the bedroom, it was my bedroom.

• 1:03:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  I lived by myself.

• 1:03:02Stavros Halkias?

  I know. I know, it just was like, you would put away your fucking bed to squat.

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  I wouldn't have to put the bed away for that. And then I did, the only, and it's in, now that room, now, it's in its own room. I have a gym in there, because the gym used to be the racing wheel room.

• 1:03:18Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that, yes, yes.

• 1:03:20Speaker 04

  That room was in a race car.

• 1:03:21Stavros Halkias?

  I remember the racing wheel room.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  And these are things you don't have to worry about, if, you know.

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, true.

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Now you gotta deal with poles.

• 1:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  Stuff like that.

• 1:03:31Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, what if-

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  If a woman moved away my F-16 cockpit to put a pole in?

• 1:03:36Stavros Halkias?

  You'd be pissed.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 04

  What kind of setup do you have?

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  I have, well, it's not really an F-16, so I, sort of, it's more like an SU-30.

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  And what do you, what do you play, War Thunder?

• 1:03:47Speaker 02

  DCS.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:03:49Stavros Halkias?

  What's DCS?

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  DCS, uh, Digital Combat-

• 1:03:52Stavros Halkias?

  The dick-sucking game.

• 1:03:55Stavros Halkias?

  Got him.

• 1:03:59Stavros Halkias?

  Got his ass. That's a flight simulator, basically? Fuck, yeah, dude, that's pretty sick. I mean, look, so we have, we have two hobbyists here. Would you be mad if, if a bitch put a fucking pole in your living room? I wouldn't really give a fuck.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  Fair, no.

• 1:04:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's a pole also, by the way. That's, sometimes that shit's in rooms. I don't know, I mean, you, basically the problem is you got steamrolled in these negotiations. You're like, oh, would she have a problem if I put something of my own? I don't know, why don't you fucking ask her instead of writing a little essay and asking the podcast?

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  That is a good point. I'll go as far to say, this guy's the personality of someone who kills his family.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  He's probably setting up an excuse now.

• 1:04:40Speaker 04

  This is only my second time here for this show.

• 1:04:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:04:43Speaker 04

  My impression thus far is the answer to every single question is fuck you.

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  Not every time. I would say, I'd say a third of the time.

• 1:04:57Speaker 04

  He go fuck you. What the hell is this, Nick's last resort joke? Is that where we're at?

• 1:05:06Stavros Halkias?

  I think, look, in general terms, like, uh, your partner asking to put something in the common area is like, you have to be like, yeah, do I have a problem with it? Is a pole that big? A pole is pretty small. And it's like, you know, the, the benefits could be she's doing a little pole dance. Maybe, you know, and, you know, maybe you get some fucking, your bitch stripping for you or whatever. Um, but yeah, if you want to put something in there too, I don't see why that's a problem, but you, the problem is you already said, yeah, you can do it. And now you're like, whoa, well, what do I, you know, that's not fair, but it's like, you should have said that when she asked you, but you folded. Cause she asked you, you know, you weren't, you hadn't gotten your, you hadn't gotten yourself ready to, to, to disagree with your significant other.

• 1:05:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would say if you're already being this passive aggressive, just go down that road. Start wiping on the pole.

• 1:05:58Stavros Halkias?

  Right, put your ass cheeks between the pole.

• 1:06:00Speaker 04

  Just rub on it when she's not home. And then when she's like, what the fuck is this like? And then, you know, you're like, I don't know.

• 1:06:07Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, maybe it's your pussy.

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  Eventually she gets, yeah, she gets a horrible fucking yeast infection. And dies.

• 1:06:16Speaker 04

  She dies. And then now it's your pole.

• 1:06:20Stavros Halkias?

  Now it's your pole, you can do whatever you want with it, dude.

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  You can keep it there and, but you'll know that's what happens if somebody disrespects you.

• 1:06:29Stavros Halkias?

  You notice that he's not saying like an example of something?

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  This is unrelated, but like, how about like a gay guy that's got like, like guy's asses mounted on around it like a hunter would?

• 1:06:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I like that.

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  And so it's like all the guys he's fucked to death.

• 1:06:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, to death, nice.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, to death, so they're like their rear, like, you know, the, the thing you can fuck, it's like the guy's dick and his ass.

• 1:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  It's those but backwards.

• 1:06:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  They're all mounted on plaques around his house and he's looks like the Jumanji guy.

• 1:06:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:00Speaker 04

  And he's like, yeah, I'm gay.

• 1:07:02Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gay and I've killed these many guys with my dick. Yeah, that's interesting, man.

• 1:07:08Speaker 04

  What if you did that?

• 1:07:11Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. What if you got molds of girls tits you fucked?

• 1:07:14Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:07:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, hey, you wanna put, you wanna put something pornographic in my living room?

• 1:07:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, hang them all around the ceiling.

• 1:07:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  A big fuzzy painting of Joe Camel and he's got giant tits.

• 1:07:24Stavros Halkias?

  He's got huge tits and you're sucking his dick.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he's smoking his own penis like a cigarette.

• 1:07:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. That would be fair. That would be fair. This thing you agreed on.

• 1:07:38Speaker 04

  He's pulling the sunglasses.

• 1:07:40Stavros Halkias?

  Smoking his own dick.

• 1:07:44Stavros Halkias?

  Now is it connected to him or is it like disemboweled?

• 1:07:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep, yep.

• 1:07:54Speaker 04

  And you hang it from the pole?

• 1:07:55Stavros Halkias?

  You could get something like that by the pole. You're like, well, you got something for the living room? I got something for the living room.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  My stuff.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  Fair's fair.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  It says Nintendo GameCube on it.

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, man, the basic lesson here is just actually address things when they come up. And if you've changed your mind, you can do that, but you just have to go up to him and be like, sorry, I don't actually like the pole here. But I think ultimately just suck it up and like the pole. And then if she, if she's not using it, you could be like, hey, you don't ever fucking use this thing and it's an eyesore. And you know, whatever. Or get that fucking painting. It sounds good. Next question, Eldis.

• 1:08:30Speaker 08

  Can you guys put your branded beverages on the ground or between the couches?

• 1:08:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, man. Holy crap. What the hell? Oh, man. It's time to, you guessed it, we have to...

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:08:48Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, it's the motherfucking ass twisted fucking question of the week. Brought to you by Twisted Motherfucking Tea. Wow, what do you have now for us all this? What's the twisted fucked up ass question of the week?

• 1:09:03Speaker 09

  Yo, motherfuckers. Um, so I'm just sitting in my work truck. Just finished a couple rotisserie chicken leg quarters.

• 1:09:12Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful.

• 1:09:12Speaker 09

  From the grocery store.

• 1:09:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great lunch.

• 1:09:15Speaker 09

  Uh, I'm a construction worker and here's my dilemma. I've been dating this girl for three years. We both have kids from prior relationships.

• 1:09:26Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:09:27Speaker 09

  So we're like a blended family. And a year into the relationship, um, I, I did a bad thing. Arguably. Where I went and looked through her phone.

• 1:09:38Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:39Speaker 09

  On Instagram. And I saw she was searching this one dude.

• 1:09:43Stavros Halkias?

  Uh-oh.

• 1:09:44Speaker 09

  So every time I, like, I would see that she searched it, I would delete it. And then I'd go back the next day and it's like she would be there again. So she was creeping on this dude. And I, I asked her about it and I come to find out that like, that's like her ex lover slash sugar daddy.

• 1:10:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:10:02Speaker 09

  And they broke up and he moved away and now, you know, he's with someone else and has a kid and whatever. So... Everything's going with our relationship, you know, we moved past that. And then we get to the point where fucking, three nights ago, she tells me, um, I asked her if I'm the only one for her and she says, um, well, do you want me to be brutally honest?

• 1:10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, dude. You ask a bitch, "Am I the only one for you?" And she's like, "Want me to be brutally honest?" That bitch was keeping it all the way twisted.

• 1:10:42Speaker 09

  Oh, man.

• 1:10:43Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Well, I would like just preemptively give him the advice of Ace Ross and Casino. Love is something that a couple can work towards.

• 1:10:53Stavros Halkias?

  It ended really good for Ace and Ginger.

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  Eventually, they.

• 1:10:58Stavros Halkias?

  Now, did she suck his friend off?

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  To her credit, he like went through her phone and found shit and she was like, "Yeah, this guy I used to fuck and I look him up all the time."

• 1:11:08Speaker 04

  I know. She is pretty straightforward. It's like, that's a level of honesty that almost no one.

• 1:11:15Speaker 04

  This might be the most honest person I've ever heard.

• 1:11:19Stavros Halkias?

  I know, respect. This woman would have no problem telling her significant other and she doesn't want to pull in their living room.

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  Here's the thing, with this lady, you never have to worry whether she's cheating on you or not, because you'll know.

• 1:11:28Stavros Halkias?

  She'll tell you.

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  I fuck somebody else.

• 1:11:33Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, go ahead and finish the call, just.

• 1:11:35Speaker 09

  Three nights ago, she tells me, um, I asked her if I'm the only one for her and she says, um, "Well, do you want me to be brutally honest?" And confesses that she, uh, doesn't feel like she has closure with this guy. And, you know, doesn't, doesn't feel like the, the, uh, the line is severed and.

• 1:12:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:12:01Speaker 09

  And I'm like, "Why are you telling me this?" And then she's getting mad that I feel some type of way like, "Dude, you're literally thinking about this other dude while you're with me." And we're supposed to be happy-go-lucky.

• 1:12:15Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 1:12:16Speaker 09

  With me. And we're supposed to be happy-go-lucky and I feel like it's holding us up from, you know, getting engaged.

• 1:12:23Speaker 04

  He had no shit that she's in love with another man.

• 1:12:26Speaker 02

  Hopefully, hopefully you guys figure out that problem.

• 1:12:34Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck, dude. You gotta keep it a little, he needs, alright, let's finish, but my guess is he needs to keep it a little more twisted.

• 1:12:41Speaker 09

  Getting engaged and, um, from really just moving past a stagnant place. So, anyway, just, I don't know what to do with that, you know?

• 1:12:53Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows? How can you solve that one? Holy shit. Normally, I would say, you know, you and your significant other should sit down with a couple ice cold twisted teas and figure it out. But I think this is not, I don't even think the delicious beverage that's brewed with real iced tea can solve your problems here, man. I think you're fucked, pal. Keep it twisted. She's keep, to her credit, she's keeping it really twisted. She's keeping it very twisted, she's keeping, she's being very honest with you. The problem is, she's basically told you, "I love someone else."

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  I don't feel like the line is severed. I would have fucking seen. No, it's just that, it's just that I think about, um, you know, if you were him every night.

• 1:13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and like, he's happy with someone else, but the second that would change, I would obviously go back to him. I mean, you gotta get the fuck out of there, dude. What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  Oh, my fucking god.

• 1:13:55Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta go, and you have fucking kids, man. Like, this woman clearly does not care about you that much. Like, until this guy dies, she probably will constantly be thinking, like, at best, you're like, just a plan B, and you want something more than that. You're clearly in love with her, you feel bad, but, good Christ, bro, you gotta get the fuck out of there. You gotta enjoy some ice cold twisted teas by yourself, and maybe with a new woman who doesn't think about her ex-sugar daddy slash boyfriend who she's still in love with. Uh, yeah, you gotta get the fuck out of there, man. This is pretty right down the middle. She's keeping it twisted, you're not keeping it twisted enough.

• 1:14:40Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta keep it twisted and get the fuck out of this relationship.

• 1:14:42Speaker 04

  Congrats on the rotisserie chicken.

• 1:14:44Stavros Halkias?

  That is awesome, yeah, yeah. That's a good, that's a good ass lunch. Half a rotisserie, all dark.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:49Stavros Halkias?

  Love that. I actually kinda want that now.

• 1:14:51Speaker 02

  Do you have like a twisted tea sound drop for like unblending the families?

• 1:14:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, but we should. Holy fuck, that was twisted.

• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  That's what families say when they get unblended.

• 1:15:04Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, where's the other?

• 1:15:05Speaker 04

  Can I, I don't, um, to say something, you might have to cut.

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there goes that. Next question, Elders. Yeah. Remember, folks, remember, if you're, if you're theoretically, you're one DM from an ex away from getting cucked, you should keep it twisted and get the fuck out of that relationship. All right.

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  What's the music, guys? Can we talk about other drinks?

• 1:15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure, man, you can.

• 1:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, go ahead, man. What other drinks do you want to talk about?

• 1:15:33Speaker 04

  The non-alcoholic Guinness will blow your fucking mind.

• 1:15:36Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 1:15:37Speaker 04

  It's so good.

• 1:15:38Stavros Halkias?

  I might have to get in there.

• 1:15:39Speaker 04

  It's really good.

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I've been doing some NAs, I've been doing some like, uh, you know, obviously when I want something alcoholic, I can take the smooth 5% bi-alcohol brewed with real iced tea, twisted tea.

• 1:15:50Speaker 04

  It was so good, I like looked up on Reddit to see if other people liked it. And then I found the post from a guy on Reddit that says, "End in the weekend the right way." And he's got a cigar and a non-alcoholic Guinness.

• 1:16:00Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, yeah, dude.

• 1:16:00Speaker 04

  And then a non-alcoholic Guinness branded pint glass.

• 1:16:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's specifically the NA one?

• 1:16:07Speaker 04

  He's in his backyard.

• 1:16:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 1:16:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's the kind of shit a guy who's just been cucked is fucking, that's what he's posting on Reddit, dude.

• 1:16:18Speaker 04

  End in the weekend the right way.

• 1:16:20Stavros Halkias?

  End it the right way. Even though Gina went back to her ex, I'm not gonna fall off the wagon.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, all right, what else we got, Big Eld?

• 1:16:32Speaker 08

  This is a long one, and it kinda cuts off before they get to the actual question, but I think the caller needs some guidance, so.

• 1:16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:16:38Speaker 08

  Let's hear him out.

• 1:16:39Stavros Halkias?

  All right, Elders.

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  Nah, for real, though, you gotta delete that call.

• 1:16:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we will, we will cut it off. We will cut it off. But, but, this, yeah, this is fucking crazy. That is so fucking funny.

• 1:16:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, alright. Yep. We'll probably not even air that, or...

• 1:17:02Stavros Halkias?

  Then we'll just resume the episode right now.

• 1:17:05Speaker 04

  If this is gonna be cut, then people are gonna think I said something insane.

• 1:17:09Stavros Halkias?

  It was not Mullen. It was not Mullen, it was... Our caller may have, uh...

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  Incriminated themselves?

• 1:17:16Stavros Halkias?

  Incriminated themselves?

• 1:17:19Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 1:17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, well, that is, you're so right, dude. People are gonna be like... Stop, yeah, half the people are gonna be like, "Mullen", and then half the people are like, "Stop's a fucking pussy."

• 1:17:34Stavros Halkias?

  And meanwhile, we're just trying to keep someone out of jail.

• 1:17:37Speaker 04

  I didn't even say, I was just expressing enthusiasm about non-alcoholic Guinness. The members of the non-alcoholic Guinness community, I'm tame to these things, you know, for ties.

• 1:17:47Stavros Halkias?

  I do love a nice NA beer, for real.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  What do you drink?

• 1:17:51Stavros Halkias?

  Just like, uh, what's the athletic one, what's it called?

• 1:17:54Speaker 04

  I've heard that recommended.

• 1:17:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty good.

• 1:17:56Speaker 04

  I had a Klaus taller last night.

• 1:17:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  Because that's just the only thing they had at the grocery store.

• 1:18:00Stavros Halkias?

  No, I like them. I mean, I'll just get like a fucking regular ass.

• 1:18:04Speaker 04

  I tried last 4th of July, I saw Soder, and I guess he had only recently stopped drinking.

• 1:18:09Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:18:09Speaker 04

  Or maybe, maybe I'm confusing, but the point of the story...

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  Is that maybe it was like he was new to Heineken Zero?

• 1:18:15Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's where it really went.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he was like, he was like, "Yeah, these are just as bad." He's like, "I had 12."

• 1:18:24Stavros Halkias?

  12 Heineken Zero?

• 1:18:26Speaker 04

  12 non-alcoholic.

• 1:18:27Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I have, dude, I have seen guys fucking put those, and they'll be like, "I have to have the ones that are zero", because some of them are like, .2 or whatever.

• 1:18:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:35Stavros Halkias?

  And they'll be like, "I can't do that, because I will just have like 40 of them."

• 1:18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:39Stavros Halkias?

  But, that is pretty fucking funny, when just the taste does it for you.

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's kind of like an argument as to why child pornography should be illegal.

• 1:18:49Stavros Halkias?

  Alright. Next question.

• 1:18:53Speaker 04

  I agree, it should be illegal.

• 1:18:58Stavros Halkias?

  And folks, we left that in, so we're not censoring Nick, it's just the call is what we cut.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  I'm saying it should be illegal.

• 1:19:09Speaker 04

  And non-alcohol appears evidence for that.

• 1:19:13Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, and we agree.

• 1:19:17Stavros Halkias?

  Next question, Eldis.

• 1:19:21Speaker 10

  Hey, Stavi, hey, Eldis, uh, and esteemed guest, uh, first time caller, long time viewer. Um, so, my problem is basically this. I have a girlfriend, she's great, uh, we've been together on and off for years.

• 1:19:39Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh.

• 1:19:40Speaker 10

  Um, she's super hot, she's got big tits, um... But, she's not very good at giving head. Um, I don't really, I don't really care. Um, it's not like, you know, I've only gotten good head from like, someone else like, once in my life. Don't really care. I'd, I'd rather fuck.

• 1:20:06Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:20:06Speaker 10

  But, she keeps trying to do it, and trying to get better, and I keep giving her pointers.

• 1:20:14Stavros Halkias?

  She's just practicing to suck other guys off. He's like, alright, this fucking idiot that I've been on again, off again with, I'm gonna learn how to suck dick on him, then I'm gonna fucking suck my dick to, suck dick to the top.

• 1:20:25Speaker 10

  I'm trying to help her figure it out, and every time I give her a pointer, she kinda just doesn't really do it. And I'm not, I'm not out here begging for a head, I don't, I don't, it, I don't absolutely need it. But she's the one that wants to get better, she wants to keep trying. How do I get her to get better? She, she, she loses her grip on it, she can't.

• 1:20:52Stavros Halkias?

  She loses her grip on it? She has motor problems? She's one of those like, grippers for like, old and fat people to get shit off the shelf? She used to jack you up with that?

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  You gotta make her chase a chicken around the parking lot.

• 1:21:07Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of jump rope.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  She might be more of a visual learner too.

• 1:21:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right, you might have to show her how to suck a guy's dick. You might have to get the Joe Camel poster.

• 1:21:21Stavros Halkias?

  I want that now dude, I want a fuzzy Joe Camel fucking.

• 1:21:25Speaker 04

  You can do it man, draw that shit.

• 1:21:29Speaker 04

  Break out the pen.

• 1:21:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's like a light, like the billboards. Oh yes dude.

• 1:21:38Speaker 02

  That's gonna be the welcome to New York sign, when you enter New York under so wrong.

• 1:21:43Speaker 04

  Well yeah, he will be wearing a full burka obviously, you'll be able to see his dick through it. He'll be sucking his own dick.

• 1:21:51Speaker 10

  She just, she just can't do it right, she... I, I feel bad for her, she's always disappointed when I'm, when I ask her to stop, or... You know, I don't stay fully hard.

• 1:22:03Stavros Halkias?

  She's that bad that you're losing your erection?

• 1:22:05Speaker 10

  It's a shame, I feel bad for her. But... It's not like, it's not like I absolutely need her to be doing this all the time.

• 1:22:14Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:22:14Speaker 10

  Um... But, I could have worse problems.

• 1:22:18Stavros Halkias?

  This is a crazy question.

• 1:22:20Speaker 10

  Hope you can help.

• 1:22:21Stavros Halkias?

  Your girlfriend is enthusiastically trying to get better at sucking dick? But she won't take your pointers? And then makes your dick soft? I don't fucking get it dude. Basically just...

• 1:22:34Speaker 04

  This was filed under the fuck you.

• 1:22:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is in the fuck you category. I mean, first of all, I guess you could be a better teacher. What are your pointers? Are you coming at her directly, or you saying... Cut, you know, jerk it and suck it at the same time? Play with my balls, or are you just kinda being like... Uh, I'm not feeling, you know, you need to, you need to have, come at it with a little more intense... Like, are you giving her direct quote, direct stuff, or are you just giving her feeling directions? Do, you know what I mean? Like, do it like you need it, or something like that, that's not useful. Granular, tell her how to suck your dick. And otherwise, it's like, I don't know dude, this isn't the fuck you category. Cause I don't understand how it could, if someone's asking you for pointers? How, it sounds like you're fucking it up.

• 1:23:21Speaker 02

  I will say that Lou Holtz has a great book on coaching.

• 1:23:26Speaker 02

  I think you should read.

• 1:23:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you should read a bunch of like, you should read Bill Belichick's book. You should read fucking, uh, Phil Jackson's book about how he played mind games with Kobe to get him to win. That might be what you need to do. You might do mind games here.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  You watch a documentary about the Moranoviches, maybe?

• 1:23:45Stavros Halkias?

  Or yeah, she might be a visual learner. You could show, you could buy a dildo and suck dick in front of her. Suck the dildo in front of her. Be like, do it like this.

• 1:23:54Stavros Halkias?

  So there you go, man. Good luck.

• 1:24:00Stavros Halkias?

  This is just weird because it's not like the questions that I'm trying to get my girlfriend to suck me off. It's like she's just doing it too much and I don't like it.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, like in his ideal world, what, like, how would his, like, how would you solve his problem?

• 1:24:12Speaker 04

  A lot of these people don't understand what a question is.

• 1:24:16Speaker 04

  They're just calling in to complain about something. They're like, I have cancer.

• 1:24:22Speaker 04

  It sucks. The treatment isn't working.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  It's ass cancer.

• 1:24:29Stavros Halkias?

  I would say you just be more specific with your pointers. Or just fuck her face, you know what I mean? That's pretty easy. Just be like.

• 1:24:37Speaker 08

  Or just get to the pussy if like.

• 1:24:38Stavros Halkias?

  Get to the pussy post haste.

• 1:24:41Speaker 08

  Yeah, be like, I'm good on that right now. Let's just fuck. I really want your pussy or something.

• 1:24:46Stavros Halkias?

  Great.

• 1:24:48Stavros Halkias?

  Great. Get to the pussy fast.

• 1:24:50Speaker 04

  Get a pair of underwear that says closed for business. So when she takes your pants off. Point to it. It says closed.

• 1:24:58Stavros Halkias?

  Pussy only, no head.

• 1:24:59Speaker 04

  Pussy, the pussy only zone.

• 1:25:03Stavros Halkias?

  But then it makes it seem like he has a pussy. He's only got a pussy.

• 1:25:08Speaker 02

  Then she won't try to suck it.

• 1:25:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true dude. Alright, yeah, that's true. Pussy only zone. Or closed for business.

• 1:25:14Speaker 04

  Or you know what? You put your, you store your penis in your ass. So it smells terrible.

• 1:25:23Stavros Halkias?

  What if your dick is small?

• 1:25:24Speaker 04

  Shit, yeah. Just smear shit all over your dick, constantly.

• 1:25:29Stavros Halkias?

  The pole question and the dick and the head question for you.

• 1:25:32Speaker 04

  When you fuck her, she gets a terrible decent.

• 1:25:36Speaker 04

  And she dies.

• 1:25:37Stavros Halkias?

  And she dies, dude.

• 1:25:38Speaker 02

  I mean, that was, that was solved like three out of four of the questions. And maybe the one that you're not airing. Right, right, right, right, right. If she really had a lot of time.

• 1:25:50Speaker 04

  Oh, here we go. This is a good one. Age gap.

• 1:25:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, play it for, play it for us, Eldis.

• 1:25:55Speaker 11

  Savi, Eldis, guest. Love you guys. What's up? I'm calling because I need some help with my husband.

• 1:26:02Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this sounds like Dennis the Menace.

• 1:26:04Speaker 02

  Doesn't even sound like a woman. I don't think that two weeks is a fair enough time to take my slingshot.

• 1:26:13Speaker 04

  Mr. Wilson keeps opening his trench coat to Wilson when I'm digging up his yard.

• 1:26:19Stavros Halkias?

  That is the menace calling in about his age gap relationship with Mr. Wilson.

• 1:26:28Speaker 11

  My husband, I think he's going through his midlife crisis or something. And I just, it, it's breaking my heart, man, to see him going through this.

• 1:26:36Speaker 04

  Can you turn it up?

• 1:26:37Speaker 11

  First, some context. I'm 28 and he's 52. We've been married for almost four years. We've got two kids.

• 1:26:44Speaker 02

  Two kids.

• 1:26:45Speaker 11

  Life is fucking awesome. Everything's going good. But, you know, lately, I, I just see him like calling himself ugly and saying that he's old. And, you know, we just found out recently that he's got some arthritis and he needs a knee surgery and stuff. So he feels like he's just like ugly and unwanted now. And it, it's fucking killing me, guys. Like, I don't know, you know, I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm, I'm young, so I'm not really there yet mentally.

• 1:27:13Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:27:13Speaker 11

  Um, and he's like, you know, he's a, we're, we're party animals. We like to

• 1:27:18Speaker 04

  Party animals.

• 1:27:18Speaker 11

  Have fun and fuck and have three sons and shit.

• 1:27:21Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 1:27:22Speaker 11

  Lately, nobody seems to wanna fuck and he's taking it to heart and

• 1:27:27Speaker 02

  All right. I have, I have an easy answer for this one.

• 1:27:32Stavros Halkias?

  Put him in a fucking retirement home.

• 1:27:34Speaker 02

  Well, kind of like adrenochrome, TRT. TRT. If you're a 52-year-old man and you have two kids with your 28-year-old wife and you're like, I, no one wants me. Like something, I thought, do you have postpartum? What's going on, buddy?

• 1:27:48Speaker 04

  The problem

• 1:27:48Speaker 02

  But you need testosterone replacement therapy.

• 1:27:50Speaker 04

  The problem is is the Gen X guys don't have like an effective way to have a midlife crisis. It's like, what do you get back into? Kevin Smith movies? It's not like this guy's gonna buy a fucking Mustang or Harley and kill himself on it.

• 1:28:02Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:28:03Speaker 04

  Well, his life is already... They wasted their youth.

• 1:28:07Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's possible that this fucking marriage is kind of a midlife crisis.

• 1:28:10Speaker 04

  Millennials, yeah.

• 1:28:11Stavros Halkias?

  You married a 24-year-old and you have threesomes with her, it's like, is it possible that the fucking bill is coming due for that? You know what I mean? Like, where he's like, what am I doing? Am I even this guy? Like, you know?

• 1:28:23Speaker 04

  I'm getting into midlife crisis territory now.

• 1:28:26Stavros Halkias?

  What are you thinking?

• 1:28:27Speaker 04

  Retro gaming.

• 1:28:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  I got a GameCube.

• 1:28:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 1:28:30Speaker 04

  So they got flashcards now, you can put every game on everything, and it's amazing.

• 1:28:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'm with you.

• 1:28:36Speaker 04

  And that's my, like, hot rod. But I don't know what you do if you're 52. It's like, we go watch Dawson's Creek.

• 1:28:45Speaker 04

  They have nothing.

• 1:28:47Stavros Halkias?

  Um, keep going, I'll see if there's... I think we've pretty much got it, but...

• 1:28:51Speaker 11

  I'm not saying that it's because of him, because it's not, but I don't know what to do or say to help him feel better, you know?

• 1:28:58Speaker 04

  Damn, this guy's got a nice setup.

• 1:29:00Speaker 11

  It's just something that we kind of all go through and just have to wait it out, continue to be supportive and tell him that he's handsome and that I love him.

• 1:29:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:29:07Speaker 11

  And a couple will come out of it, but...

• 1:29:09Stavros Halkias?

  You're married! Yeah. You have to tell him he's handsome, god damn it.

• 1:29:13Speaker 11

  Love you guys, keep up the great work, hope you're here for the next day.

• 1:29:16Stavros Halkias?

  This is cute though, she loves her husband.

• 1:29:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, gee, yeah, somehow this didn't just, like, disgust her.

• 1:29:21Speaker 04

  It'd be great too if this guy just thinks he's being humble.

• 1:29:26Speaker 04

  He's like, "Oh, I'm so fucking old."

• 1:29:29Speaker 04

  "Yeah, dude, I'm fucking a child." "I tricked her into letting me fuck other people, so..."

• 1:29:36Speaker 04

  "Oh, I'm just an old man, where are my glasses?"

• 1:29:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, look, part of this is that he... Here's the thing, he is older, he is old, he fucking needs knee surgery, he has... Like, he's not... You're the one who's more wrong about this than him. Like, he is... He's correct about what's going on with his life.

• 1:29:59Speaker 04

  52's a little young for knee surgery, isn't it?

• 1:30:01Stavros Halkias?

  But I mean, if your shit's fu... It's the... It's the lower limit of that shit.

• 1:30:05Speaker 04

  I was in Austin, like, fucking, when I saw you. Yeah, and, uh, I got... That night, I went out and I got drinks with, like, friends I hadn't seen in, like, 15 years.

• 1:30:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:30:13Speaker 04

  You know, these are guys I've known since I was in my early twenties.

• 1:30:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  And so, some of them, we're talking about, like, "Yeah, it's crazy that we're, like, older now." Like, one of our friends has just turned 52.

• 1:30:22Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit, yeah.

• 1:30:23Speaker 04

  He's weird, he's like a... Like a singer in, like, a punk band, you know? And he's like a fucking old man. And then my friend Joe, who's forty, he's like, yeah, I just found out I have to get my hip replaced.

• 1:30:32Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 1:30:33Speaker 04

  And I was like, well, that, you're forty. What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:36Speaker 04

  It's like insane.

• 1:30:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:30:37Speaker 04

  To have to get your hip replaced at forty, but.

• 1:30:39Stavros Halkias?

  Does he, he legit has to?

• 1:30:41Speaker 04

  He said he has to. He said he has like.

• 1:30:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:30:43Speaker 04

  Bone spurs.

• 1:30:44Stavros Halkias?

  That shit can happen. So like, I guess that part of this is, yeah, I think Felix, you're absolutely so right. TRT is so the solution here.

• 1:30:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, just fucking get on that shit. Sylvester Stallone still has fuck, he's still jacked. He's like seventy or whatever.

• 1:30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:30:58Speaker 04

  You know? Mel Gibson looks about, I think really the answer is antisemitism.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  Well, that's a side effect of TRT.

• 1:31:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:08Stavros Halkias?

  Mel does look pretty good.

• 1:31:09Speaker 02

  Winning all those fights.

• 1:31:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. How old is Mel?

• 1:31:13Speaker 04

  He's like sixty-seven.

• 1:31:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:16Speaker 04

  Let's see.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  Mel Gibson age, sixty-nine.

• 1:31:19Speaker 04

  Damn, I was close.

• 1:31:19Stavros Halkias?

  He looks pretty good for seventy.

• 1:31:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:21Stavros Halkias?

  So Sylvester Stallone's seventy-nine? That's crazy. So yeah, put him on some fucking steroids, but ultimately, he's got a, you, you've provided a pretty nice life for this guy. You got kids.

• 1:31:33Speaker 02

  What more could you do for him?

• 1:31:34Stavros Halkias?

  You can't do anything else. So, you know, he's got to fucking snap out of it and, you know, you can be supportive, whatever. Uh, but, you know, it's so funny to be like, yeah, we, lately, nobody's wanting to fuck. It's so funny. We can't get pussy together. My husband's sad because we can't get pussy together.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  He's sad for both of us.

• 1:31:53Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, you've done a great job here. Keep being supportive, whatever, and, and put him on some TRT and hopefully he'll fucking snap out of it. Damn, that's a nice little setup.

• 1:32:05Speaker 02

  I knew a couple, like, maybe you should cut this, but like, I knew a couple, not like, not like that where the guy was fifty-two, but like, they had an open, you know, thing like that where the girl was really hot and she would always like, you know, go out to like, get threesomes for them. And she was like, well, like, you're just like some fucking loser and you're fucking all these girls because of me. I want to fuck a guy. And he was like, okay. And I was that guy that she got to fuck. And I was like, are you sure this is like a good deal for you?

• 1:32:37Speaker 02

  Are you, did you think about this?

• 1:32:42Stavros Halkias?

  And you're just like, you like, you fucked real fast and you're like, alright, time to fucking fire up the Xbox?

• 1:32:48Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, you just fucking nut fast, then you like, get the Xbox and order Seamless with the guy. Thanks for the pussy, gotta go!

• 1:33:00Speaker 02

  Leaving for my own apartment.

• 1:33:05Speaker 04

  Just go and put your pants back on. Just don't talk about the street.

• 1:33:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking hilarious, dude.

• 1:33:12Speaker 02

  I don't care if you got that.

• 1:33:13Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:33:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 1:33:18Speaker 00

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• 1:33:59Speaker 00

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• 1:34:11Speaker 06

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• 1:34:28Speaker 12

  Hey, Stavon Eldis, hope y'all are having a good one. Wanted to call and see if y'all could help me out with something here.

• 1:34:35Speaker 04

  The whole, it sounds like that guy from the Simpsons that like owns the gun store.

• 1:34:39Speaker 02

  It does sound like him.

• 1:34:41Speaker 04

  With the missing arm.

• 1:34:46Speaker 12

  Help me out with something here.

• 1:34:49Speaker 12

  I work in the, uh, let's call it the funeral services industry, right? And, um, I do overnight transportation, you know, so kinda jarring for some people. The problem I've been having is that in my day-to-day life, talking to people, you know, I'll kinda let them know what I'm up to in my day-to-day and I usually get two reactions. They're either horrified at the job that I do, or they, uh, are so into what I do that it kinda creeps me out a little bit, like I'm talking to some Jeffrey Dahmer types or something and I was wondering if there was any way that I could sort of subtly hint

• 1:35:30Speaker 12

  to people at what my job is without freaking them out, or if I'm just sorta, you know, doomed to be the, you know, grim reaper to people most of the time. So if you got any advice, let me know. Thanks, guys.

• 1:35:43Stavros Halkias?

  He does sound like that. He kept sounding like that the whole time. So he transports dead bodies? Is that what he does? Yeah, I think so. That's what it sounds like. My man just is a trucker for dead bodies. He overnights dead bodies. Why don't you just say you fucking, you're a truck, an overnight trucker? Yeah. That's as bad, dude.

• 1:36:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's where the dead bodies come from. I guess that's true. Funeral, funeral services don't have their own type of extra low-class prostitute. I do love that about fucking truck drivers, just having lot lizards.

• 1:36:19Speaker 04

  Which I've never seen. And now I don't even know if I've been to a truck stop. Aren't those just like on the side of the interstate? Is that what a truck stop is?

• 1:36:28Stavros Halkias?

  We've been to some truck stops. We were on the tour. Flying J's. We, yeah, flying J's.

• 1:36:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, right. So it's just a gas station, but I've never seen the prostitutes. I've seen those, yeah.

• 1:36:38Stavros Halkias?

  I think probably realistically, that was way more of a thing before the internet, like before the internet, like, I bet before it was like, you could just find a prostitute off your phone. You had to just kinda show up somewhere. You had to be selling pussy at the truck stop. You know, I think we probably missed it.

• 1:36:56Speaker 04

  It's like the YMCA.

• 1:36:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda like the straight YMCA. MCA is lot lizards. That's gone.

• 1:37:01Speaker 08

  I'm sure it's also like you have to know what to look for and the lot lizard has to know. You know, none of us quite look like a trucker or something.

• 1:37:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. If we wanted to buy pussy at a truck stop.

• 1:37:13Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:37:14Stavros Halkias?

  It would, we would be suspect.

• 1:37:15Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 1:37:16Stavros Halkias?

  They would, they, they're probably looking for a certain type of gentleman.

• 1:37:18Speaker 04

  I'm wearing a cardboard truck. How about the suspenders?

• 1:37:25Speaker 04

  Ma'am? Ma'am?

• 1:37:28Speaker 08

  Twenty dollars for pussy, twenty dollars?

• 1:37:30Speaker 02

  You're carrying, you're carrying a bag and you accidentally let a Tonka truck fall out? Oh, what's this? My truck?

• 1:37:38Speaker 04

  Oh shit, I keep my condoms in there.

• 1:37:42Speaker 04

  Lifestyle XL.

• 1:37:45Stavros Halkias?

  The Magnum Lifestyles?

• 1:37:50Speaker 04

  The free, the free big condoms.

• 1:37:52Stavros Halkias?

  Getting big condoms, but it's the shittiest ones.

• 1:37:59Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, that's probably some low, I mean, my guess is some real low grade pussy right there. Um, I mean, what do you tell people if you fucking transport dead bo- first of all, why do you have to tell people right off the top? I would say I work as a, you know, I, I, I would just say I'm a trucker. Or something, or that you work for a funeral home. And then the more you get to know someone, the more you're just like open with what it is. But what are you opening with the fact that, yeah, I haul dead bodies every fucking night?

• 1:38:28Speaker 04

  I thought that was only a job during like COVID.

• 1:38:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, how many dead bodies even are there like day to day?

• 1:38:33Speaker 04

  Not many, I don't know.

• 1:38:35Stavros Halkias?

  Like, yeah.

• 1:38:35Speaker 04

  Do you drive the, what's it, the hearse?

• 1:38:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that'd be cool if you drive the hearse.

• 1:38:39Speaker 04

  Tell people you're a gravedigger. Tell people you drive gravedigger.

• 1:38:42Stavros Halkias?

  Tell me you drive gravedigger, yeah.

• 1:38:44Speaker 04

  And when I die, that's the hearse I want. I want to be brought to the.

• 1:38:51Stavros Halkias?

  The funeral home is fucking, it's fucking destroying other, uh, graves. It's just taking like all the tombstones, just trampling all of them.

• 1:38:58Speaker 04

  Crushing other hearse's.

• 1:39:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, although I will say, the idea of like getting some weird goth pussy off this is not horrible.

• 1:39:10Speaker 02

  That's what I was gonna say, is like, whether he tells them what his job is or not, like, I, I think he has a fantastic voice and way of speaking, but he does, you know, type is drawn to type, let's say. This guy didn't just randomly, oh, this guy could have been a contract lawyer.

• 1:39:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:39:28Speaker 02

  You know, this was, he was gonna work in the funeral business, one way or the other.

• 1:39:34Speaker 04

  Everybody thinks I'm weird.

• 1:39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, actually now that-

• 1:39:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm actually The Rock's agent. Yeah, that wasn't gonna be, so you are probably going to attract someone who is into your whole thing.

• 1:39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right. I would, you're right. Fucking steer into it. Start wearing fucking black leather. Start fucking getting, doing eye makeup, and then get pussy from goth bitches with fat tits.

• 1:39:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, go around, you know, I know Jack Skellington.

• 1:40:03Stavros Halkias?

  He's my friend.

• 1:40:04Speaker 02

  He got me this job.

• 1:40:05Stavros Halkias?

  Jack Skellington is my friend. He's real and he's my friend, that'd be awesome.

• 1:40:12Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I fucked a bitch who put the fucking, uh, with the slotted spoon or whatever. The fucking-

• 1:40:19Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 1:40:20Stavros Halkias?

  You know, she drinks, she pretends to drink the poison.

• 1:40:23Speaker 04

  Tricks her dad and gives him poison to kill him.

• 1:40:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so she can go out and get-

• 1:40:25Speaker 04

  Nightshade.

• 1:40:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. Oh, that's her dad?

• 1:40:28Speaker 04

  That's her dad. Well, he made her.

• 1:40:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true, true, true.

• 1:40:31Speaker 04

  He's the scientist that made Sally out of dead body parts.

• 1:40:33Stavros Halkias?

  Sally is a piece of pussy, I'll tell you that much. Salute to her.

• 1:40:37Speaker 04

  And she can tighten it at will.

• 1:40:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's so true. They have two bolts like fucking Frankenstein, has bolts on his neck, she's got them on her pussy.

• 1:40:51Stavros Halkias?

  That would be awesome, you could just leave your dick in there and then she could tighten and loosen and it feels like you're fucking without even having to move your dick in and out.

• 1:40:56Speaker 04

  Just imagine coming down the stairs, Christmas morning, and then you see that. And he's like, "Merry Christmas." He's like busting. Busting a dead woman. "Merry Christmas, little boy."

• 1:41:10Stavros Halkias?

  "Here's some Franken pussy for you."

• 1:41:12Speaker 04

  The studio's like, "Uh, no, Mr. Burton, I don't take really good receipts."

• 1:41:18Speaker 04

  Maybe for the DVD.

• 1:41:22Speaker 04

  I don't think for the theatrical release, we're gonna leave in the busting in Sally on Christmas morning. Scene to scare the kids.

• 1:41:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, salute to her. Truly, definitely, probably why I wanna fuck a golf bitch is probably Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. Felix, do you have any inclinations that in that regard? Did you wanna fuck her from Nightmare Before Christmas? I know Nick did.

• 1:41:48Speaker 04

  I'd like to put Mr. Oogie Boogie in the microwave.

• 1:41:52Speaker 04

  Wrap him around. Little hole in Mr. Oogie Boogie. Get him all warm. Spilled with bugs.

• 1:42:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's not bad.

• 1:42:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:02Stavros Halkias?

  That ain't bad. Nothing for you, huh Felix?

• 1:42:05Speaker 02

  On, on her, I don't know. I don't remember that movie too well.

• 1:42:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 1:42:09Speaker 02

  I liked Gina Gershon.

• 1:42:11Stavros Halkias?

  Gina Gershon from in, uh...

• 1:42:13Speaker 02

  You know, Face Off.

• 1:42:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, you just liked, well, you just wanted to fuck her. I know who Gina Gershon is, Elvis. You don't have to fucking look up Gina Gershon.

• 1:42:21Speaker 02

  Nah, bring her back.

• 1:42:25Speaker 04

  Damn, I'd love to Gershon her.

• 1:42:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:29Speaker 02

  In her Gina.

• 1:42:30Speaker 04

  In her jeans.

• 1:42:31Stavros Halkias?

  On her Gina. I like the Gershon her Gina. There we go, boys. We got to it.

• 1:42:38Speaker 02

  Sometimes it takes the village.

• 1:42:40Stavros Halkias?

  Gina Gershon, three of the sharpest minds of 2010's podcasting.

• 1:42:47Speaker 02

  A few, yeah. I remember like a few years ago, this girl told, this girl told me like, "You should write this show about the podcasting."

• 1:42:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:42:57Speaker 02

  She was like, "If you don't do it, someone else will." And I was like, "I don't think they will."

• 1:43:03Stavros Halkias?

  They will.

• 1:43:03Speaker 04

  They did make, they tried to make a podcast show with Zach Braff and some Indian lady.

• 1:43:07Speaker 02

  No, but she, she meant about like...

• 1:43:09Speaker 04

  I think it was called the Indian Ladies Podcast.

• 1:43:13Speaker 02

  She meant, she meant like literally either a Roman a Clef or like straight retelling of Chapo and Gumtown and it's like, nothing would fucking happen.

• 1:43:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, we would just-

• 1:43:25Speaker 02

  Worst idea ever.

• 1:43:26Stavros Halkias?

  It would be like, it would be like just-

• 1:43:28Speaker 04

  You got the whole story. We got Playstation.

• 1:43:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Well, it could-

• 1:43:33Speaker 04

  And that was the end of it.

• 1:43:33Stavros Halkias?

  It could take place in that, so many episodes took place in that apartment, in that living room. And it was just like, you guys would record and then we would come in with sandwiches. And we would eat the sandwiches. And then we would record and then we would fucking watch a movie and then we would go home. And that was everything.

• 1:43:49Speaker 04

  Adam would say something lame.

• 1:43:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:51Speaker 04

  He'd be like, "This is awesome."

• 1:43:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. You know who's writing it is Adam. Adam right now is writing the fucking sitcom and making himself out to be the hero.

• 1:44:01Speaker 04

  He's like, he's dictating the, the, the key points with someone else.

• 1:44:08Stavros Halkias?

  Adam Friedland stars. And it's gonna come out in like 20 years and he's gonna insist on playing himself. And everyone else is gonna be 26. And Adam's gonna be fucking 61, playing himself.

• 1:44:23Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, who's that guy who played, fuck it, he played himself in like a movie about being a high schooler? Uh, some fucking gay guy, they made fun of him. Anyway, it's gonna be like that. It's gonna be like that gay guy everyone made fun of.

• 1:44:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:35Stavros Halkias?

  But with Adam.

• 1:44:38Speaker 04

  And it's called "The Gay Guy."

• 1:44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck. You got something nice for us here, Elvis? What do you got?

• 1:44:52Speaker 08

  Yeah, here's an update from someone who called in during Jim Norton's episode.

• 1:44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, great.

• 1:44:58Speaker 05

  Howdy. Uh, Stav, Elvis, guest, you know the drill. Uh, I called bef- this is more of an up- this is an update, not a question.

• 1:45:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:45:08Speaker 05

  I did call to update, but, uh, I've had the great, wonderful fucking idea to get blackout drunk watching, uh, Let's Start a Cult.

• 1:45:17Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:45:17Speaker 05

  So of course, seeing your beautiful face, Stav, I was like, I better call the fuck.

• 1:45:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:45:22Speaker 05

  And, uh, sorry about that, Elvis. I'm sure that call was terrible. I don't even remember it, but I'm almost positive I did that. Anyway, I called on the Jim Norton episode about, uh, how I'm into fat bitches and asking about the moral implications of, uh, letting my wife get fat.

• 1:45:39Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that question.

• 1:45:40Speaker 05

  Well- She is now like, she's now pregnant.

• 1:45:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's what we told him to do, right? We told him, the guy who wanted his wife to get fat, we were like, just get her pregnant, dude. It looks like he's done that. Alright, nice.

• 1:45:54Speaker 05

  But like, at that stage where it's like, two months pregnant, so she doesn't look pregnant, she just looks fat. Which, for most guys, they would be livid, but, holy shit, it's, it's, uh, fucking fantastic.

• 1:46:13Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going.

• 1:46:14Speaker 05

  She's getting privy to, um, me liking it because, uh, I literally, uh, touched her stomach when she was naked and got hard instantly. And, uh, even she commented on that, but, uh, yeah, um.

• 1:46:28Speaker 05

  Fuck, I mean, I'm happy to have the baby, but, I mean.

• 1:46:38Speaker 05

  Pretty good too, and, uh, pregnant tits, fucking hell. Yeah, pop those in my mouth, like, motherfucker, alright.

• 1:46:46Speaker 02

  Well, I think that seals it. You guys should call yourselves the number one pro-life podcast.

• 1:46:54Speaker 02

  And Steven Crowder isn't doing this.

• 1:46:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, dude, no, Steven Crowder's fucking fans aren't nutting inside their wives like ours. So, thanks, man, that's awesome. Congrats on the baby. We've got a future podcast listener in the womb right now. 100%.

• 1:47:11Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, that's interesting that he, his dick gets hard because he's touching his wife's stomach. But yeah, this could be nice for you, man. This could be the way you break into letting your wife know you're into a plus-size gal and, you know, maybe she'll put on a couple pounds. Um, yeah, good for you, man. That's nice. That's really beautiful to want to fuck your, your pregnant wife that much.

• 1:47:36Stavros Halkias?

  You really go. I've just been trying to get that sound effect going for a while now.

• 1:47:41Speaker 04

  It's a good one. It's perfect, perfect length.

• 1:47:42Stavros Halkias?

  That is a good one. That is a good one. Yeah, salute to that guy. All right, well, I think that does it. None of you want your wives to get fat, huh, boys?

• 1:47:53Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, my future wife.

• 1:47:56Speaker 04

  I mean, I think that's probably a normal reaction. It's just most people don't call into a podcast about her.

• 1:48:01Stavros Halkias?

  I think so. I mean, I think, well, there's, there's people who like complain about that shit, but I think the older you get, it's kind of like in basketball where it's like you size up a position. It's like, you know, my MJ went from shooting guard to small forward. I just feel like ever your wife should get, if she's hot, she goes into the, she should be into like the thick. I think the older people get, the more it's like, kind of nice to have fatter tits and a fatter ass, you know, a little belly.

• 1:48:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like the William Shatner thing where like, he didn't get crazy plastic surgery, but he like gained like 10 pounds every year and it kept his face very smoothed out.

• 1:48:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, smoothed out, nice. Yeah, fills out the wrinkles that way. So salute to that guy. Uh, I think that's gonna do it for us, gentlemen. Of course, as we've been talking about this whole time, the book is Chapo Years In A Row.

• 1:48:52Speaker 02

  All right, I was supposed to be promoting that.

• 1:48:56Speaker 02

  If you've liked all these calls about like the mortician or whatever the fuck. The, that's in there.

• 1:49:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep, yep.

• 1:49:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:49:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's in the book, man? Real quick, give us like a third.

• 1:49:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:49:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's just comics or whatever?

• 1:49:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, we all, we all did.

• 1:49:13Speaker 02

  We all did comics.

• 1:49:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's just like shitty Regis. So what's this piece of shit you got? Sounds great, fuck you.

• 1:49:24Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking comics or whatever, who fucking cares? You all did your own comics?

• 1:49:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Matt and Amber worked on.

• 1:49:35Speaker 04

  Matt's drawing it too.

• 1:49:43Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna take a really long time, guys.

• 1:49:48Stavros Halkias?

  He's hand drawing every single one.

• 1:49:53Stavros Halkias?

  So stop the pre-orders.

• 1:50:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck. Yeah, whatever. You guys get it. We'll fucking, we'll link you to it. It's out there. Boys, thanks for doing the pod. My pleasure. We'll, we'll talk to you guys next time. Bye-bye. See ya.

• 1:50:25Speaker 00

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• 1:51:20Speaker 01

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• 1:51:41Speaker 01

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