#121 - Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland

Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland join the pod to discuss Adam killing the mood at a party with an off-color joke, why movies aren’t as awesome as they used to be, spending way too much money on Eames chairs, DIY dental work, and much more. Nick, Adam and Stav help callers including a national park ranger who wants tips on hooking up with seasonal visitors, and a woman encountering too many gooners on dating apps. Visit https://helixsleep.com/stavvy to receive 20% off all orders sitewide. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com! https://www.booking.com/ Get 20% off @chubbies with the code STAVVY at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Check out The Adam Friedland Show: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAdamFriedlandShow https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ https://www.patreon.com/theadamfriedlandshow Follow Nick Mullen and see him live: https://www.mull.dog/ https://www.instagram.com/mulldogforever https://www.tiktok.com/@mulldogforever https://x.com/nycguidovoice Follow Adam Friedland and see him live: https://www.adamfriedland.com/ https://twitter.com/adamfriedland https://www.instagram.com/adamfriedland 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Oh, hey, man.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the claw. White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Cell to Work, Chicago, Illinois.

• 0:30Speaker 02

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. Start your morning with the $6 McRiddles Extra Value Meal. Featuring your choice of a sausage, egg, and cheese McRiddles, or bacon, egg, and cheese McRiddles. Plus crispy hash browns and a small premium roast coffee. Sweet, savory, crispy, and caffeinated. It's everything your morning ordered, all for just $6. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing at participating McDonald's.

• 0:54Stavros Halkias?

  Opa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavvy's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. Special episode here, I got my old pal Nick Mullen on the couch. Adam Friedland is also, might be here, he's actually in the living room taking a call. Oh shit, Eldis with the big guns right off the top, dude. Eldis fucking got the fucking classic guitar riff.

• 1:21Speaker 04

  That's probably gonna like cause an issue with somebody. They're gonna hear that and they're gonna fucking just pull over. It'd be like falling down.

• 1:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they're gonna start crying, they're gonna remember.

• 1:30Speaker 04

  They're gonna come out and cause.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Being 18 in their life, being like horrible but like having a great time.

• 1:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that, that is gonna trigger people.

• 1:38Speaker 05

  I can't imagine all the people out there who would slit my throat to be sitting in this chair right now.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  Do you ever get like people after shows, like I bet you the people are like, man, you know, Come Town really helped me through a hard time. And I, I'm pretty universally, I'll say to them like, well, I hope things are going better now.

• 1:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  50% of the time, well, no.

• 1:59Speaker 04

  No, no, I guess not.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  Not really, but that was a nice solve for the first four years before you guys started phoning it in.

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, look who it is. Sit down.

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Oh, let's hear the big story.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  Let's go ahead.

• 2:19Speaker 04

  What happened 20 minutes before you guys, "Maya, can you call me before we start?"

• 2:23Speaker 01

  No, it wasn't Maya, she's out of town.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  "Can you pretend to be mad?"

• 2:27Speaker 01

  No, it's her brother.

• 2:27Speaker 04

  I said, "I thought of this great joke about Patrick Mahomes and I don't have a way to work it in like it's, I'm coming up with it on the spot. So I need you to come up with a fake story about how everyone's mad. This is my one chance."

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I feel bad.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  This is my one chance.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Okay, my friend, his girlfriend's friends were there and then I'm...

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  So you're at a Super Bowl party and this is coming out probably in what, April?

• 2:51Speaker 01

  And I guess I said Maho... I said Mahomo.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  I guess I said Mahomo.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  I said Mahomo and there were two gay guys there.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Which, you know, I think of jokes like that all the time.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  But then he was like, no, no, but then he was like...

• 3:02Speaker 04

  That's just, you know, you know me.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Then he was like, after I left, everyone...

• 3:06Stavros Halkias?

  I was a riff master.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  I'm just, I can't help myself. It's just, I think he just riffs.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  No, it's hateful. It's a hateful joke.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's hateful.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  The funniest person that it's, and that's not me. I'm not hateful. I'm not a hateful guy. You know me.

• 3:20Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  I didn't realize those guys were gay.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  You were at a gay party. You went to a gay sex party.

• 3:29Stavros Halkias?

  What kind of Super Bowl party would you be invited to?

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, somebody put the Super Bowl on.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  I was on Christopher Street in the West Village. No. But then, no, the worst part...

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone's in leather overalls.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  The worst, yeah, leader hoses, yeah, with butt flaps.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  The guy dressed up like a Native American got very mad at me. So I went over to the construction worker and I said, "What the hell is this guy's problem?"

• 3:50Speaker 01

  I thought I was at a blue collar sort of working man's event.

• 3:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yep, yep.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  No, but the worst part is that he was just like, "Yeah, after you left, everyone was like, what the fuck was he on?"

• 4:00Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  That's the embarrassing thing. I made an ass myself.

• 4:03Stavros Halkias?

  You bombed. It's not that you made a homophobic joke. If you made that joke and everybody loved it, you'd be like, "I'm the man."

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Well, I kept also saying that Kendrick Lamar should apologize for anti-Semitism during the halftime show.

• 4:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's funny.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Which I believe. That is not a joke.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really? What did you say that's anti-Semitic?

• 4:18Speaker 01

  "They not like us."

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, thanks Adam for making this episode that comes out in April instantly dated from minute three.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry Stavros.

• 4:28Speaker 04

  Kendrick's been dead for two weeks.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Oh, so it's uh, my birthday is coming up is uh, April, it's Aries.

• 4:36Stavros Halkias?

  Hitler's birthday, right?

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, April twentieth.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  April twentieth.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  He used the word belligerent. I wasn't be, I had, it's very embarrassing.

• 4:45Stavros Halkias?

  It is embarrassing. No, it's really embarrassing to have a party, for you to leave a party and everyone be like, fuck that guy.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what happened last night.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  That's what happens in your mind.

• 4:57Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck was that idiot?

• 4:58Speaker 04

  That's the thing you tell your therapist and they're like, well, of course that didn't happen.

• 5:03Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe a couple people would have been annoyed, but I'm sure you're fine. But no, everyone was like, oh, thank God, he's gone.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  No, but apparently they were also offended that uh, me and the guy I was sitting next to were reading uh, Kanye's tweets to each other.

• 5:17Stavros Halkias?

  Hilarious.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  But I'm Jewish, I could read.

• 5:19Stavros Halkias?

  You can do it.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  I could read Swastika stuff.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  You can't be offended by.

• 5:24Stavros Halkias?

  Did you bring food to the party?

• 5:26Speaker 01

  I brought, no.

• 5:27Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so you're a bad guest. You go to a Super Bowl party and you call people gay.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I called Patrick Mahomes gay.

• 5:35Speaker 04

  Remember when he went to the wedding and he thought, he thought it was a valid gift that he paid for his own flight to go to the wedding?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  My presence is a present.

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  That was so awesome.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  My presence is a present.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, we all know what you were making. We were all pretty rich at the time.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  No, we weren't. No, we weren't.

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  We were pretty, we were.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  No, we were making like four thousand a month, each of us.

• 5:56Speaker 04

  And you were buying like a six thousand dollar oven at the time for yourself?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  No, that's bullshit. That's bullshit.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, but you, you had, you were making money in entertainment, basically.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  I mean, it was phenomenal.

• 6:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you couldn't have set us, you could have bought them a hundred dollars. Yeah, exactly. The cheapest thing on their fucking registration.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  I went to that wedding because I knew I like, wouldn't talk to the guy again if I didn't go to the wedding and I have not talked to him again.

• 6:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cuz they were like, he didn't even fucking.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  No, no, it's not my fault. It's not my fault.

• 6:24Stavros Halkias?

  But you didn't get him a present?

• 6:25Speaker 01

  No, it's cuz my bohemian lifestyle just didn't jive with it. It's because now.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  Boh- bohemian.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Come on, man. Come on, man.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  If I'd been at that party, it'd be like the meme, the fucking human resources meme.

• 6:43Stavros Halkias?

  You know, he's creepy.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's you.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  Well, Adam, if you had come through with like an amazing buffalo dip, or like some, or a dessert, they would be like, you know what, he was weird, he had, he was, he said that weird thing, but.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  He brought Mountain Dew Code Red.

• 6:58Stavros Halkias?

  Mountain Dew Code Red and the sliders were awesome.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 7:01Stavros Halkias?

  I think it would have helped for real, because you.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  What, because those, those gay guys that were, would have been like, they like dips? What are you talking about?

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if your come through was a good.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  No, I was, no, they were policing my language.

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  Being homophobic again.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Guess what?

• 7:14Stavros Halkias?

  Gay guys don't like dip?

• 7:15Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, our guy got re-elected. I'm sorry, it's lea- it's legal now to say mahomo. It's the Super Bowl, you can say, I'm sorry.

• 7:26Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yeah, it is also just not that good. It is like.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  It wasn't a joke, I just, it was a throwaway.

• 7:32Stavros Halkias?

  Why would you say that in a group of people you don't know?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Because I know half of them and we say that kind of stuff.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  So it was a joke. You were trying to be funny and you fucking bombed.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  No, I didn't, no. I was just like, oh, fucking mahomo.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  You bombed so bad, you're getting calls about it now.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  I wasn't at the Apollo.

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  We all know what it's like to bomb socially and you bombed at the.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  I've never bombed socially once.

• 7:57Stavros Halkias?

  You just did. There's fallout from a Super Bowl party.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Imagining people after you, well, imagining people after you leave somewhere being like.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's crazy.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Also, if there's any place that's like, it's acceptable for there to be one guy that's like racist or homophobic, it's.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Who wasn't racist?

• 8:12Speaker 04

  At a football event in the living room.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Actually, that's what I'm supporting.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Usually you have your uncle like zoomed in.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 8:18Speaker 04

  And he's like, well, so usually those, these guys are violent animals, but when they're the quarterback.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Offensive line.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  They have the brain of a wide man, so they're okay.

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that is fucking hilarious, man. But yeah, if you, if you had come with something, a nice offering, you go to a Super Bowl.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  They were the hosts.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  He wrote down, he wrote down on a, on a pink post-it note, he wrote down, say Patrick Mahomo. And he folded it up and he put it. Put it in his pocket.

• 8:44Stavros Halkias?

  He was sweating. Yeah, he hadn't said anything funny in a while.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and he's just like. Uh, Patrick Mahomo. Breaking classic, breaking case of emergency. Bing, Patrick Mahomo.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Patrick Mahomo, everyone's like, what?

• 8:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, the game is on. Also, by the way, he had. He had a D E I, whatever they taught. He had a horrible game. Yeah. There was nothing to be like, ah, fucking Mahomo about. He was blowing it. He threw fucking a pick six. Quarter, I said Mahomo. But he hadn't scored, he, he didn't score until the second half. He had a horrible game.

• 9:14Speaker 04

  But everyone's expecting he's gonna do his magic all over again.

• 9:17Stavros Halkias?

  So you weren't even. I don't remember why I said it.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  You're shaking right now.

• 9:21Stavros Halkias?

  You weren't even locked into the game. It wasn't even appropriate to say it. You did force Mahomo.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  I missed you guys so much.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  I'm so happy. Right now, I, I don't think I've been this happy in three years. I, and I've lost these friends, so I need, I need this back right now.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  So, don't go on tour.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'm going on tour. Which just started two months, two months ago. We're in the middle of it. Please buy tickets to see me on the Dreamboat Tour coming up, uh. Where are we, Aldous? Figure out what's coming, what dates are coming up. Do a little fucking producing for Christ's sake. Um.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  I love this guy so much.

• 9:56Stavros Halkias?

  We're on the bus. You know, we're getting, Aldous is.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  It was funny at the beginning of the Super Bowl when they were like, uh. And here we are in New Orleans, the site of a horrific terrorist attack at the beginning of the year. And it's like, yeah, no one remembers it.

• 10:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, I don't even, some guy shot like.

• 10:13Speaker 04

  Some guy drove a truck.

• 10:14Stavros Halkias?

  A car, it was a car.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  You know, a bunch of people that were gonna die of alcohol poisoning in forty-five minutes anyways.

• 10:19Stavros Halkias?

  Uh-oh, he's getting another call. All right.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  We're in Columbia, Missouri tonight.

• 10:25Stavros Halkias?

  We're in Columbia, Missouri tonight.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  It's literally nothing.

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, wait, no, I'll read the text.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  It was a fake, it was a fake, oh my god.

• 10:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. We start, we moved on, and he was like, he was like, wait, let's go back to talking about me.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  It was four minutes ago.

• 10:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god. Oh, they were gonna maybe move on to a different topic of conversation. We don't have to talk about this anymore. Well, what did they say? You said you were gonna read this again.

• 10:50Speaker 04

  Let's talk about you, Stav.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, what do you wanna talk about?

• 10:52Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 10:53Stavros Halkias?

  I'm an uncle, that's my biggest life thing right now. Congrats.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no.

• 10:58Stavros Halkias?

  New cat, a kid?

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 11:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going uncle mode. I'm pumped. Whoa. Ah, that is pretty sick dude, honestly. I'll be, none of us, yeah, cuz you don't, only child.

• 11:10Speaker 04

  It's funny cuz you're, you're gonna be, there'll be like events when your nephew is like twenty.

• 11:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  And you're the like woke uncle.

• 11:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  You know, that's like ruining Thanksgiving cuz you're like, I think they're people and they're like, oh my god.

• 11:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 11:27Stavros Halkias?

  It is funny. If he's twenty, I'm gonna be fifty-five. That's crazy. Yeah, I'm gonna be.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Wait, what?

• 11:34Stavros Halkias?

  It's a boy? Right, yeah.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  I, I, I'm bad at math. I don't know why I tried to check you on that one. I'm like, uh, don't you mean seventy-two?

• 11:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's, uh, it's adding twenty to thirty-five.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  You're disagreeing with that?

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's like some of the simplest math possible.

• 11:49Speaker 04

  I just saw Oppenheimer.

• 11:53Speaker 04

  I'm trying out a new thing. Is it seventy-five?

• 11:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah dude, I'm uncle, I'm going uncle mode. I can't wait to, you know, get high and watch John Wick with a fifteen-year-old in, in fifteen years. Oh, your nephew? Yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  Now, stuff like this used to be important.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is, this is culture, man.

• 12:12Speaker 04

  They got a girl John Wick coming out.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  I am excited about it.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. I don't know, I was, by the time Four, I mean, I watched.

• 12:18Stavros Halkias?

  I loved Four.

• 12:19Speaker 04

  I was like, I've seen enough karate.

• 12:22Stavros Halkias?

  It was good though. The, the Japanese part was fucking awesome.

• 12:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't even remember.

• 12:26Stavros Halkias?

  It was fucking good. I actually really enjoyed, I liked it much more than Three.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  One and two, I loved.

• 12:31Stavros Halkias?

  Three was just okay.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  Four was, I thought, a return to form. If a little long for my taste, but it just ended, it was basically two different movies.

• 12:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:40Stavros Halkias?

  But mashed together.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. It should've been Four and Five.

• 12:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean, I liked it how it was.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:45Stavros Halkias?

  Cuz that's like, you know, I don't wanna, I don't wanna have to wait a whole, but yeah, Three was a little whatever. And one thing I will say, why weren't there tits in that movie, in those movies?

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Good point.

• 12:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda fucked up. Like, action movies used to have tits.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Girl movie.

• 12:58Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so, dude.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's a fucked up thing that we've done is like, everything's gotta be good for China, even our action movies. It used to be like.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  China's the bad guy.

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  Well, China doesn't want tits in their movies, do they?

• 13:09Speaker 04

  I think everybody does.

• 13:12Stavros Halkias?

  But I don't, isn't it like, don't they want shit to be like, I don't know?

• 13:16Speaker 04

  I think you just can't criticize China, right? Everything else is, and then you can't have.

• 13:19Stavros Halkias?

  Can you show tits?

• 13:20Speaker 04

  You can't have black people in the.

• 13:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right. They're racist, but yeah, go ahead, go, yeah. Can you show boobs in Chinese movies?

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Shy woo boobs.

• 13:29Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, see, why are Chinese dramas more conservative? Yeah, so what I'm saying is, like, um, think about, let's see, um, classic Schwarzenegger movie, like, there's, I feel like there were tits in, like, even Terminator had tits. True Romance had a nice amount of tits.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Total Recall had three.

• 13:45Stavros Halkias?

  Total Recall had three tits.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Three.

• 13:47Stavros Halkias?

  And you could kinda see, and you like, you really wanted to fuck Sharon Stone, even though you didn't really see her naked or anything.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  You saw her pussy in Basic Instinct.

• 13:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, which, you know, I'd rather see tits, I think.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  Apparently.

• 13:59Stavros Halkias?

  I'd rather feel pussy and see tits.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  No one on set knew.

• 14:03Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean?

• 14:03Speaker 04

  That she was about to show Beaver.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Newman must have been.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  That must have been fun that day.

• 14:09Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, I would have been like, oh shit, like, if a bitch showed her pussy in a movie, I didn't know it was coming, I would have been like, oh, not.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Someone was like, thank god I'm a best boy.

• 14:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:19Speaker 04

  That makes, that makes more sense.

• 14:20Stavros Halkias?

  That makes my whole life.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  Then if they went to Sharon Stone and be like, yeah, so here's the script, and, you know, like, you're bad or something, then, gee, yeah, in this scene, you show your pussy.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, and then it continues, you know, it's cool, it's a cool movie. She's like, okay.

• 14:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'll show her, okay, I'll show my pussy.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  And also, if you're the director, and like, do you do a take where she shows her pussy? And she's like, how was that? You can't be like, yeah, we're not gonna use that.

• 14:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, what the fuck, call the police, this bitch showed everybody her pussy. That is another one of the, the HR memes things, imagine if an ugly bitch is like, I'm showing my pussy in this room, they'd be like, you're going to jail.

• 14:59Speaker 04

  Kathy Bates, dude.

• 15:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Kathy Bates, like, why don't I shove my pussy in James Caan's face?

• 15:05Speaker 04

  About Schmidt. Yeah, you see her, you see her hooters.

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  I like that, a fat old lady's tits are kinda fun to look at.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  She should have done it in Titanic. Jack should have drawn Kathy Bates.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  The unfuckable Molly Brown. Jack should have drawn Kathy Bates.

• 15:18Stavros Halkias?

  He should have, he should have just, he should have done both, he should have been like, alright, I gotta, I'm gonna chill for a little bit, and then he just fucks Kathy Bates right after.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  He's just been on a pussy.

• 15:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's fucked like four girls on the Titanic.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  He fucks Fabrizio.

• 15:32Stavros Halkias?

  One Irish guy. Oh yeah, Fabrizio was kinda hot.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 04

  I found a YouTube video that's like, like in loving memory of Fabrizio. And it's like a montage of all of the scenes set to like.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  And it's like, this is the, this is the character you attach to. This movie and there's all these people, Fabrizio is my favorite character.

• 15:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  In love with that wop.

• 15:55Stavros Halkias?

  I don't really, I mean, I just remember him being his poor friends. Did he, how did Fabrizio die in that movie?

• 15:59Speaker 04

  The fucking smoke, the smoke stack crushing.

• 16:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's right. Pull up Fabrizio Titanic for fuck's sake, elders.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Pull up Fabrizio nude.

• 16:07Stavros Halkias?

  Fabrizio Titanic, AI, AI nude. Oh, yeah.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, he looks good. He kinda looks like, like Nick a little bit.

• 16:16Stavros Halkias?

  No, he doesn't at all.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  If Nick got the hat, it could be, it could be aesthetic.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  This guy looks fucking.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  I meant in a handsome way.

• 16:23Stavros Halkias?

  But he doesn't look like that.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Danny Nucci.

• 16:25Stavros Halkias?

  He also is the kind of Italian that actually has a claim to saying he's not white. He kinda looks a little Colombian. Stop. Stop. Give him his, give him the vape.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  It's my baba.

• 16:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'll just start a, I'll just start a timer. They have to switch vapes back and forth.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  It's mine.

• 16:41Stavros Halkias?

  How long do you guys wanna switch?

• 16:43Speaker 04

  This is a socialist podcast, dude. We share.

• 16:44Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  We share things.

• 16:46Stavros Halkias?

  That is, actually, we're apolitical, you know, we really stay out of things.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  I'm center-left.

• 16:50Stavros Halkias?

  You're center-left? Yeah, that's right.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  I've been watching Western, this is the most lib shit. I've been watching it since Trump won to remember.

• 16:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  But like, it's so funny, it's so funny what the issues of the day were. They were like, should gay guys go to the army?

• 17:05Stavros Halkias?

  That's like what people were doing.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  And then the resolution of that episode.

• 17:07Stavros Halkias?

  Uniforms to school.

• 17:09Speaker 04

  The resolution of that episode, isn't it, it's like the, the, one of the black joint chiefs? I forget that actor's name.

• 17:14Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember. I didn't watch that show.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  LeVar Burton.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's like, you should not be allowed to be.

• 17:18Stavros Halkias?

  LeVar Burton was in the.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Michael Winslow.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  You're thinking of.

• 17:21Stavros Halkias?

  He's just naming.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  Star Wars.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  It was Geordi, right? Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Geordi LaFloyd.

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  Geordi LaFloyd? Sounds sexy.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like a hot girl, honestly.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  I can't see.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  Get off me, I can't see.

• 17:38Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, was that a real guy?

• 17:39Speaker 01

  Jord- Jordy La Forge.

• 17:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  It was a real guy.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  Who's Jordy?

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Jordy on Star Trek.

• 17:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I didn't want.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Jordy Vai. On Star Trek, his name's Jordy La Forge.

• 17:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I get, alright, I get what we were doing now. Yeah, yeah. I never watched Star Trek. You know what I've been, on my TikToks or my fucking YouTube Shorts, what's come up a lot is Seth MacFarlane's weird Star Trek show. Have you seen that?

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's bizarre.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  With Steve Carell, right?

• 18:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no. This is just like Seth MacFarlane just straight up made his own Star Trek. And I've only watched it through YouTube Shorts. And it's just like, kind of feels like great value Star Trek, like they have their own Klingons.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Is Cleveland in it, or no?

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Cleveland's like, "I wanna get some alien pussy." Or whatever the fuck.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Giggity, giggity.

• 18:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's quagmire.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 18:30Stavros Halkias?

  I have been also watching a lot of Family Guy.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  It's so funny. Seth MacFarlane did that, then fucking Jean-Luc Picard should do that with Family Guy.

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  And then we go a little bit something.

• 18:39Stavros Halkias?

  Stewie.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  I'm Cleveland.

• 18:40Stavros Halkias?

  I'm Cleveland, Stewie.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Look at me, I'm fucking Cleveland.

• 18:43Stavros Halkias?

  Let's go get pussy together, Stewie.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Take that.

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  Who's the gay, who's, oh, Seth, yeah, yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  He's saying that is.

• 18:53Stavros Halkias?

  Is he gay? Or is he?

• 18:55Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 18:55Stavros Halkias?

  Everything about him, oh, that's just Picard.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  I think Jean-Luc Picard's taking shots.

• 18:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  The baby's gay in Family Guy.

• 19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Stewie's gay, yeah.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Stewie's gay.

• 19:02Stavros Halkias?

  Which is an interesting move.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  MacFarlane's gay too, no? He's a friend, he's a friend.

• 19:07Stavros Halkias?

  Has he done the show, you trying to get him on the show?

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, he did that one time. I was saying something completely innocuous about Post Malone.

• 19:14Stavros Halkias?

  He's a friend.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  And then Adam goes, "Stop, stop, stop, stop." Because he's a fan, he's a fan.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  My friend does Bud Light commercials. One of my best friends does Bud Light commercials with him.

• 19:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Well, he would call me his best friend, he's just one of my friends.

• 19:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, he kept, he was like on tire shit, was like, "Damn, I miss Adam."

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Did he say that?

• 19:37Stavros Halkias?

  He said it every day.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:39Stavros Halkias?

  "I wish he would..."

• 19:39Speaker 01

  He sent me multiple texts like the morning after, uh, like seeing him, where he's like, "You know I don't actually hate every Jew in the world."

• 19:49Stavros Halkias?

  For some reason, seeing you brings that out of him, huh?

• 19:55Speaker 04

  It's also, it's like, nobody hated every one of them.

• 19:58Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  Even Hitler, there was like a guy that made like biscuits for him or something.

• 20:01Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 20:02Speaker 04

  I think so. No, no, there was a guy. It was like his childhood doctor.

• 20:05Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  And he's like, this guy's the one.

• 20:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  This guy's our-

• 20:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's the no homers.

• 20:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 20:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  That's not much of a-

• 20:14Stavros Halkias?

  They call it-

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Hitler's favorite Jew.

• 20:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, don't, don't Google Hitler's biscuit Jew, Elvis.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  Why can't he? You can, you can Google whatever you want, Elvis.

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  X out of this, man. I don't even want to-

• 20:23Speaker 04

  What's gonna happen? But, but-

• 20:25Stavros Halkias?

  Our guy won, okay? He's back, he's a princess.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  German biscuit giant apologizes for-

• 20:31Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, fucking Google it again.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  Google it again, Elvis.

• 20:33Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see what Hitler's biscuit Jew comes up with.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  The boys are back in town.

• 20:37Stavros Halkias?

  The boys are back in town. This episode got demonetized the second we recorded. Who cares?

• 20:41Speaker 04

  Check out the Adam Friedland Show. The Times of Israel, check it up. Click that one, it's probably the truth.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  Don't, don't do that one. Dude, go to politico.eu.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  I would say this should, this should call it-

• 20:51Speaker 04

  You won't even click Israel?

• 20:54Stavros Halkias?

  No. Don't give him more clicks, man.

• 20:57Speaker 04

  Why can't you just click? Oh, stop, bro, in this day and age.

• 21:01Stavros Halkias?

  German biscuit titan says, sorry for taking advantage-

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Chocolibens?

• 21:05Stavros Halkias?

  Chocolibens and pick up maker admits it used forced labors during World War II. It used colo- the hogs was making chocolate biscuits?

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I bet those slave cookies tasted-

• 21:16Stavros Halkias?

  Sam, you jealous? I'm jealous. Like, now I want a cookie.

• 21:19Speaker 04

  Oh wait, you, you see that brand in the store? Sometimes I see those cookies, the lebene ones, and I'm like, maybe I can eat desserts like a European rebel.

• 21:27Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, look at the guy on the right. Is that his cock damage?

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's not his cock.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Wait, no, right there. It's like past his knee.

• 21:32Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think that's his cock.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  That's water damage.

• 21:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's not his cock. Yeah, zoom in, Elvis.

• 21:36Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought it was his dick.

• 21:37Stavros Halkias?

  Enhance. Enhance. So, okay, so, go, now zoom out.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  What is that? What-

• 21:43Stavros Halkias?

  What kind of cookies this? Let's look at the cookies.

• 21:45Speaker 04

  They have them. They're like shortbread cookies.

• 21:47Stavros Halkias?

  Let's look at the cookies. Keep scrolling, man. Maybe they have a picture of the cookies. Stop, you're pissed. I'm fucking hungry, actually.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  A sugar-coated apology.

• 21:56Stavros Halkias?

  Issued a sugar-coated apology for the comments. Okay, whatever. Yeah, look up what kind of cookies these are.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  They're good. They're like shortbread. They're like, you know, the little Scotty Dog cookies?

• 22:04Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-mm.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  You never, um, this is surprising.

• 22:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, oh, yes, those are good. Oh, these are good Libens. Yeah. Oh, you're right. I have seen these. Yeah, yeah, these are good.

• 22:13Speaker 04

  Sometimes I'll get, I'll eat like a whole box of these and be like, it's fine. It's like I'm in France.

• 22:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm fucking Parisian.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  It's like I'm in the Holocaust.

• 22:21Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, come on, madam. Well, shut up in this day and age.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Dude, there's one going on right now.

• 22:26Stavros Halkias?

  There, yep. Yeah, the new hol- it's April, right? The Holocaust has started. Is it seasonal? No, I mean, it's by, at this point, you know? Oh, yeah, I hope not. That would be... Thank you. I'm, I'm coming out of, I don't want another age.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  They just did it a little bit every year. You know what I mean?

• 22:44Stavros Halkias?

  Good point.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  If they only, there was like one oven and they just did like a half.

• 22:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you mean like? Just a slow burn. We're talking, not metaphorical. You mean like legitimate? And we're back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  Once a year, it's like, it's just a thousand.

• 22:56Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think they, I got, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, I don't think you could do a thousand a year and get away with it.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  Israel does it.

• 23:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but that's not literal oven.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  They do. That's what they call it.

• 23:08Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 23:09Speaker 04

  I'm not kidding. Look up mowing the lawn.

• 23:11Stavros Halkias?

  Don't look that up. Let's go back to talking about cookies. That's what my dad. Just look up the phrase mowing the lawn. Let's see what comes up. That's what my dad calls taking a shit. He's like, I'm gonna go mow the lawn or talk to my accountant. Lawn care.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  You have to add a little context.

• 23:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's all we're, that's all you get. All you get is mowing the lawn.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  Second result, that's, that, tell me that's not the American History X guy. Holy shit.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  The Home Depot, uh, the Home Depot commer- the Home Depot link? Let's talk mowers. What are your favorite mowers? You seem like a guy that would.

• 23:43Speaker 04

  I would never get on a ride on.

• 23:45Stavros Halkias?

  Really? I would have guessed for sure you would.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  That's the laziest shit I've ever seen.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  Well, because you were a bonsai guy.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  No, I try. I couldn't even get the thing to sprout. Yeah. And then I realized it takes like twenty-five years. And I was like, this is some stupid Japanese bullshit.

• 23:58Stavros Halkias?

  Are you, but you don't want, you don't want to go zen or whatever?

• 24:02Speaker 04

  Not with fucking doing gardening.

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  What, what do you want to go like?

• 24:06Speaker 04

  Taking kratom pills.

• 24:07Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have a lawn at this point, Soff? I don't have a lawn, no. None of your properties? None of my properties. You have eleven houses. My property, I have, I have two point five shitty homes in southeast Baltimore. My family lives in one point five of them. So you got one whole house?

• 24:22Speaker 04

  Wait, what do you mean one point five?

• 24:24Stavros Halkias?

  I, I basically.

• 24:25Stavros Halkias?

  A box that he has in an alley for his dad. I bought half my mother's home to help her, basically. And then I also have the house that my brothers li- used to live in that now, I think my dad just lives there.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, imagining it was like, you know, you guys are not allowed to come on this.

• 24:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put a strip of tape down the middle. So, yeah. Fucking ninety sitcom style. This side of the house is mine.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  This is empty before it should be.

• 24:53Stavros Halkias?

  I want another sip. Elders, would you want, would you get our guests a couple of Liquid Deaths? And you know what? I also have a little surprise for them. Get those, get a couple of boxes of those, uh, cookies for them.

• 25:02Stavros Halkias?

  These cookies?

• 25:03Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry if, uh, I got a little too spicy with the mowing the lawn.

• 25:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, that's all right, man. What do, what do you see?

• 25:13Speaker 04

  That is, that is real, though. Did you not know that?

• 25:16Stavros Halkias?

  I, I, I don't know the phrase mowing the lawn. Well, thank God at this point Gaza is the fifty-first state. Welcome Gaza. They've opened Trump, Trump, uh, the Trump Taj Mahal two. Two, yeah. On the. Gaza City. On the beach. Gorgeous. Yeah, man, we are, it is hilarious. I wonder how fucked we'll be in April. I wonder if eggs will cost forty dollars.

• 25:38Speaker 04

  But you just said you can't have eggs anymore.

• 25:39Stavros Halkias?

  But I, I like egg whites.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  I'm, I love those commercials for eggs when I was a kid with the old man. They'd be like, the incredible edible.

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  The incredible edible egg.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  And then there's a stinger on the end where some old ass man, he would look at the camera and he goes, I love eggs.

• 25:57Stavros Halkias?

  They are good and I love a fried egg sandwich and I love a little bacon.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  I didn't like eggs growing up until I learned how to cook eggs when I was like twenty eight.

• 26:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, there we go.

• 26:07Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 26:07Stavros Halkias?

  Those are iced teas and we each get a little box of cookies. And they're fresh, by the way. They're fresh, they were baked to celebrate the birth of my nephew. So these aren't from Christmas, these are from.

• 26:17Speaker 04

  Where did she get the boxes?

• 26:19Stavros Halkias?

  She gets them from Michael's, I believe.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. Oh, man, what a lady.

• 26:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  I had a good experience at Michael's the other day. What's that, what happened? Um, Adam ripped one of the set. Oh, my, it wasn't my fault at all. We spent four thousand dollars each on those chairs. Yeah. They're like. Wait, you got real chairs?

• 26:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  You didn't get like the dupes? No, no, no, they, on, on the real Dick Cavett show, he used dupes. Of co- why wouldn't you just get dupes?

• 26:43Stavros Halkias?

  Nick, Nick, Nick says they all have to be sourced from the same place. We found a guy in Pennsylvania because the leather has to match.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  Adam said, Adam said, have Max, have Max.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yet another thing he blamed his friend.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. Max. Oh, right, cause he is a, he is a furniture guy. So Max says those are Time Life Lobby chairs, so see if you can find those. I said, okay. And then there was a courthouse getting rid of, some guy found like seventeen of them in a courthouse. Oh, nice. And they were the right color. I was like, great. You know, and I did cut a deal on them. They were like four, forty-two or something. Jesus Christ. And so, yeah, we got for thirty-eight hundred each, but they're, they're fifty-year-old chairs. Yeah, that's cool. You can turn around and sell them for the same price. That's cool, yeah. But they are like, you know, vintage designer chairs. Yeah. And he ripped the button off.

• 27:25Stavros Halkias?

  There's no, there's nothing connecting me to that button.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  Did you really do that, man? Uh, yeah, he ripped one of them. So I had to put the button back on the chair and I needed, I had to learn how to.

• 27:35Stavros Halkias?

  You weren't even there.

• 27:36Speaker 04

  I'm asking. Why would? I asked you, did you do it?

• 27:42Speaker 04

  Wow. The crowd, the crowd has turned on you.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Eldis, I'm your only friend in this room.

• 27:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's not true, he's my best friend.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  He's telling you not to Google, you can Google whatever you want Eldis.

• 27:55Stavros Halkias?

  You have Google privileges now, you tried to ask to Google when we were doing our final.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  I didn't know, I thought it was a separate project.

• 28:03Stavros Halkias?

  That was a separate project, Eldis' mic wasn't working.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  Guys, welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead, yeah, yeah, you know what, host from the guest chair.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Sabros, you were recently in Hawaii, right?

• 28:14Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  And you recently had the birth of a nephew?

• 28:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 28:18Speaker 01

  Congratulations.

• 28:19Stavros Halkias?

  Where did Hawaii come from?

• 28:20Speaker 01

  So what you're saying is, when you're 55, your nephew's gonna be 20?

• 28:23Stavros Halkias?

  Your first question was just not even sort of true?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  I don't know, that's something they say on talk shows. I'm trying to get better at this talk show thing.

• 28:29Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, there you go, practice on us.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  You haven't been seeing my growth?

• 28:34Stavros Halkias?

  I've seen your growth, but this is. Get even crazier.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  You're the Black Eyed Peas?

• 28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm Fergie, he's Will I Am.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 28:41Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis is the Native American.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  Yes. What's his name, Delirious or something? Sab is the Black Eyed Peas, I'm the Roots.

• 28:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I'm the whole band, the Black Eyed Peas.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  So what was it like working with Scott Storch? It was awesome.

• 28:58Stavros Halkias?

  We never worked with him, but we liked the videos where he's high as shit playing piano.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  Getting a haircut, smoking a cigarette?

• 29:05Stavros Halkias?

  And I like to imagine what, how much pussy Scott Storch, because he's kinda ugly, but he was in Miami and he like lost all his money on boats.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  So much pussy.

• 29:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, he lost like 200 billion dollars because he got addicted to yachts and cocaine. There's a really good drink champs with him, like from like eight years ago where he talks about this thing called the Miami Blizzard that him and his friends got into. Where he was like, I was with a massive pop star icon woman, and he wouldn't say the name, but people think it's Mariah Carey. And he said, do you want any cocaine? And she said, yes, but not, I don't do it in my nose, I do it in my culo. So he took a straw and he had to blow it into her bum, and then him and his friends got addicted to this thing they called the Miami Blizzard. Where they'd line up porn stars and then they'd blow drugs into their asses.

• 29:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome. That actually sounds pretty fucking cool.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  What a cool guy. One of the coolest guys of all time.

• 30:02Stavros Halkias?

  Blowing it into their asses.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:04Stavros Halkias?

  Mariah Carey, come on, you think so?

• 30:07Speaker 01

  I mean, that's what fantasy is about.

• 30:11Stavros Halkias?

  Blow coke in my ass. Spread me open, let it, uh, let it blow. Hmm, I'm a little rusty. How does that go?

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know, I just remember the name of the song.

• 30:24Stavros Halkias?

  Sweet, sweet fantasy, baby.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  That's it, yeah.

• 30:28Stavros Halkias?

  Which one am I singing? Is that, is that fantasy?

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

• 30:33Stavros Halkias?

  I get fucked every night. Suckin' dickin'. Get, ah, damn, yeah, I've lost my touch, man.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  No, come on, we can get it back. We got the Vegas residency.

• 30:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we gotta get it ready for our Vegas residency.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  After my fourteenth divorce settlement?

• 30:52Speaker 01

  I've never signed a prenup.

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  She loves me, guys. Yeah, you are the kind of idiot that would do that. She hasn't checked it past, but she loves me. It's different this time.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  It's an actual, it's an actual dog.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Just married a Pomeranian. Her brother from the Ukraine lives with us and it's clearly a guy that's just fucking the shit out of her.

• 31:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, her brother moved in with her, he's a refugee.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  You just hear like.

• 31:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, they're doing folk dancing?

• 31:27Speaker 01

  No, they're doing doggies, yeah, just loud doggies.

• 31:29Stavros Halkias?

  My parents are over for Passover. Her brother and her do, yeah, they're doing, they're clogging.

• 31:36Stavros Halkias?

  They're refugees from the war. Every wife is the same age, no matter how old you are. They're all twenty-seven or whatever.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  They're all, yeah, yeah. I justify it because I'm anti-Putin and they're Ukrainian refugees.

• 31:48Stavros Halkias?

  Even though they're just Russians.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm just bragging about how I'm kind of a good guy.

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Have you, are you planning your wedding, Adam? Are you, are you, have you gotten a dress yet?

• 31:56Speaker 01

  It's whatever, every plan that I've proposed has been outright rejected. I asked if me and three friends could do, could do each first.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Cause they're all based on like Adam Sandler movies.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  No, they're not.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  You have like bad ideas.

• 32:11Stavros Halkias?

  I asked if me and three friends could do each verse of International Players Anthem.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  It's a wedding song.

• 32:18Stavros Halkias?

  It's a wedding song. Isn't it like he's retiring from getting pussy?

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  He sent a text to a girl that he used to see.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  And he said that, which is I.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  CC all the girls that I used to see around town.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  You know, I plan on sending texts to girls I I used to see. Just so you know.

• 32:33Stavros Halkias?

  Just so you know.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  You could speak now if ever hold.

• 32:36Stavros Halkias?

  Even though you've been dating for years.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I I know I've I've been with the love of my life for six years, but.

• 32:44Stavros Halkias?

  But if any of the insane woman from the internet that I fucked after my breakup.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Remember Michelle? Remember Michelle? She she was like on episode four of Come Town or something? That girl that I.

• 32:55Stavros Halkias?

  The Korean.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  The Korean girl. She used to she used to send nudes to other guys from my bed. Yeah, and then.

• 33:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, I forgot about her. Yeah.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  I I'm still I'm friends with Michelle, but she reminded me the other day. No, she's.

• 33:07Stavros Halkias?

  She used to send her tits to other guys in your bed and you're like, we're pals.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  We weren't dating. We used to stup.

• 33:13Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  And she was, yeah, she's crazy. I was like, but she's my girl. But she reminded me, she reminded me.

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds pretty cool now that I think of it.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  She has a boyfriend now.

• 33:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay. Never mind.

• 33:24Speaker 01

  She reminded me that Gina, that she asked me in 2011, in 2011, she asked me for a dick pic.

• 33:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  It was the first dick pic I'd ever sent and I didn't know. So I just pulled my pants down and took a picture of my flaccid penis. I didn't know.

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean?

• 33:40Speaker 01

  And she said she text, I remember she texted me back.

• 33:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's like what a retarded person. 2011, you didn't know to get your dick hard?

• 33:47Speaker 01

  That's early. It was the first dick pic I'd ever sent. And so she said, I'm actually depressed now.

• 33:54Stavros Halkias?

  You said the soft cock pic?

• 33:56Speaker 01

  I yeah, I got nervous. I was just.

• 33:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy, dude.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I said soft dick.

• 34:00Stavros Halkias?

  You'd never sent a picture of your cock before?

• 34:02Speaker 01

  It was my first dick pic ever.

• 34:02Stavros Halkias?

  Instinctually, though, you should know that's not.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 34:05Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Did you fluff it?

• 34:07Speaker 01

  No, I'm humble.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, come on, that's a horrific thing to send a woman. How big is your dick soft?

• 34:13Speaker 04

  Or he's lying.

• 34:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  He's like, actually, it was soft.

• 34:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 04

  And then she's going around saying it was probably hard.

• 34:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  And Adam's like, I said it on a podcast.

• 34:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  There's evidence.

• 34:28Stavros Halkias?

  She said, I'm actually depressed. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. She's like, oh, this is the worst, I said this to seven guys and this is the worst one I got back. Probably the worst one ever said to a girl. That's so funny. You didn't fluff at all. I didn't, I, I never sent a dick pic before. She just, she wasn't, you weren't sexting, you were just, she just asked for your cock? Middle of the day, like 11 a.m., she said, send me a dick pic lol. So I was like, okay, so I'm gonna do a funny one, nice and soft? No, I didn't even do it hilariously. What were you doing at the time, 2011? Were you here or were you in DC? Had we started at Comtown? I think it was before Comtown.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  No, that was 2016.

• 35:06Stavros Halkias?

  Twenty, maybe the tail end of 2015?

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Twenty sixteen, it was 2016.

• 35:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, what's the year of 2011?

• 35:10Speaker 04

  May of 2016.

• 35:11Stavros Halkias?

  I'm lying right now, it had to have been 2014 then. Okay, so that's even less defensible. Mm-hmm. 2014, you didn't notice and your dick hard? I had a fabulous girlfriend in DC before I left. Oh, yeah, she was awesome.

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Guys, we've been through so much together. You had nothing but cool. I mean, you literally are married, the only cool woman you've dated. We went to Japan, we went to a cabin, we went to Australia.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Dude, that argument we got into in Australia was the funniest argument of all time.

• 35:42Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember which one.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  Cause Nick was dying of laughter at us arguing, cause I wanted to take a shower. You're like, you're like, I have a fucking busted in ten days.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Cause you were like, you were on a girlfriend trip with us in Japan.

• 35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was fucking annoying.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  You're on the most annoying trip of all time.

• 35:57Stavros Halkias?

  It sucked, and by the way, yeah, you, I still, it was your classic little trick of like, I, I had just fucked my foot up and I couldn't walk, remember? And I was like, oh, let's go to somewhere like a beach, let's go to like Thailand before Australia, somewhere relaxing. And, and then, and then it switched to like Japan. If anything, I would have loved. Japan's cool.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  Certain parts of Thailand.

• 36:19Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, yeah, but now, but then it was like the whole trip was walking. I wanted to chill and by the way, it wasn't close to Australia. Japan to Australia is like eleven fucking hours, dude. I wanted to go somewhere near Australia, you fucking piece of shit.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  That chick came over and then you text us, we were at breakfast, you're like, I got the poison out of my body, boys. I'm good, I'm sorry.

• 36:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I wanted to fuck and you guys wanted to hang out a little bit.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  She left on her lunch break, if you remember, right? It was in the middle of the day and you said, oh, so I'll see you at the show tomorrow night and she's like, what show? And you're like, you know, the Come Town Show tomorrow night? She's like, no, I just like you for your body.

• 36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a girl who's into fat guys.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  You just liked your body. It was amazing.

• 37:00Stavros Halkias?

  It was kinda crazy.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  She left, she left work.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  That was awesome. Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  That was awesome.

• 37:04Stavros Halkias?

  Roof of our Airbnb.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  And I was like, I wanna shower. You're like, I need to come.

• 37:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I needed the bus, dude. You, you were fucking.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  But Nick was just sitting there just dying of laughter.

• 37:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, showering instead of your friend getting pussy.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  It wasn't instead, we had three bedrooms. We had three bedrooms.

• 37:22Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. I stand by it. You, you can clear out and get a little lunch. It's basically like switch the order of your shower and lunch.

• 37:30Speaker 04

  I chose to be Switzerland. If you remember during World War Two, Germany was killing all these Jews, Britain got mad about it and Switzerland said, I'm just gonna sit here and laugh.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna have anything.

• 37:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm stinky. God forbid you get a little pussy.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  Giggle.

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking asshole. And that whole trip was so you could go shopping. We went to fucking Tokyo so you and Dasha could wear little outfits. You fucking piece of shit.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  To be fair, she needed clothes.

• 38:01Stavros Halkias?

  We went to Japan so you could spend twenty thousand dollars on fucking your girlfriend.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  No, the exchange for the yen was phenomenal at that time.

• 38:09Speaker 04

  Once a week, I think.

• 38:09Stavros Halkias?

  Look, there were cool parts of Japan, don't get me wrong. I had some, we had some great meals.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Japanese people's ears.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:17Stavros Halkias?

  You being rude on the train and them being so mad, you like hitting, you were hitting. With fucking umbrella in his shins. And every Japanese person was like, looked so disgusted at you.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  You're so easy to upset.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  I was on the escalator and I kinda like leaned forward so that my ass was directly in his face.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, they hated that dude. And your underwear was a little out. So it's like, they could kinda see your ass through your jeans.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Remember I got him like seven times.

• 38:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, farting in the green room.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Farting in my face in the green room.

• 38:55Stavros Halkias?

  You got him right in the face, dude.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Farted seven times in a row.

• 38:58Stavros Halkias?

  It was awesome.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  I just felt the air like on my cheek.

• 39:01Stavros Halkias?

  That was fucking crazy. That greeter one was like one of the most direct farts in a person's face I've ever seen.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  Why was I so, what was I doing?

• 39:09Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, but that was the craziest part. Cause it was like, he got in you off like five times in a row. And you were even like, alright, that's not happening again. And like, truly.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  It's like Homer with the chips or the puppies. That was the show where I accidentally stood up to racism, but I couldn't understand what the guy was saying in Melbourne.

• 39:30Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember that.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were like, wah wah wah. And I thought they were heckling me like, you're a gay, you're a bug, whatever. If you guys remember, the Melbourne show was like Comic Con. There was like fat Hawaiian shirt guys. There were Adidas tracksuit.

• 39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that would happen a lot. It was like, guys would dress up as one of the three of us.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  All the little earring guys.

• 39:47Speaker 04

  I kinda think that we sort of just look like Australian people without realizing it.

• 39:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, they were, they were guys that were like.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Comic Con.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  They were trying to look like you. The guy, there were guys who tried to look like you or me and then some guys.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  The little earring guys would be like, yeah, so my friends also call me a.

• 40:04Speaker 01

  So I really are Dana Faw with the Adam character though.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Thank you. Thanks, I'm so glad. No, but yeah, in Melbourne, I thought someone was just calling me gay or someone were doing a bit from the show. But, but, uh, and so I was like, shut up. Like you'll never be on Come Town. And I got a huge applause. And then I went back to.

• 40:24Speaker 04

  Crushed, absolutely.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, but I went back. But I didn't realize.

• 40:28Speaker 04

  It was, I mean, the way.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  I just absolutely destroyed.

• 40:33Stavros Halkias?

  They carried me out on their shoulders.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Crushed.

• 40:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we were there.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  I went back to the hotel and apparently.

• 40:40Stavros Halkias?

  He's lying about something we were next to him for.

• 40:46Speaker 01

  No, no. Apparently they were saying like despicable slurs about Aboriginals.

• 40:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  And I just couldn't hear what they were saying. But I was accidentally, yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  I didn't even mean to.

• 40:57Stavros Halkias?

  Shut up.

• 40:59Speaker 04

  Destroy.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  I was trying to say that I didn't actually know I was standing up to racism. I was thinking, I was.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  The humble hero.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  I hate myself.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  This is so us. This is so us.

• 41:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's the fuck, Adam.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  This is so us. This is so us.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  I miss us.

• 41:16Stavros Halkias?

  Shut up, Adam.

• 41:17Speaker 04

  I wanna die with you guys. I just wanna be in hospital beds, holding hands. Die of HIV.

• 41:26Stavros Halkias?

  Then they gave you as a prank?

• 41:28Speaker 04

  In Greenwich Village.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Smoking the wires up differently in the hospital. The fluids they're doing.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  This, you just hear for buying a curtain? What you doing with my, with my, with my fluids too? What you putting there?

• 41:44Speaker 04

  I'm like, shh. I'm playing a prank on Adam. Okay. What you doing with a tattoo? Adam's like, my arm feels cold. There's something cold creeping up my arm.

• 42:01Stavros Halkias?

  That will be nice, man. Someday we'll get there. After the Vegas residency, we'll all be in, we'll all be in a fucking hotel, uh, hospital bed together.

• 42:10Speaker 04

  I just learned that hospice isn't a place. I thought it was like a.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  I think it can be, right?

• 42:14Speaker 04

  It's a place you go to and they just like suck you off and give you cigarettes.

• 42:17Stavros Halkias?

  They suck your dick?

• 42:19Speaker 04

  They do whatever you want, dude.

• 42:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's pretty sick. They should do that. They should suck your dick.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Hospice isn't like, oh, like, they're not like doctors. They come and they're like, yeah, I'll read you Garfield comics or you're dying.

• 42:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're just dying. It's, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  So we'll make you as comfortable as possible. I'm pretty sure they, they service you.

• 42:35Stavros Halkias?

  That'll be awesome. They should give happy endings in hospice.

• 42:37Speaker 04

  I might be confusing hospice care in that episode of Deadwood when the priest is dying.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that was sad, dude.

• 42:44Stavros Halkias?

  He does go crazy. He had like a fucking brain tumor or something.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:48Stavros Halkias?

  And they wouldn't even let, he, all he wanted to do was listen to music and they're like.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  Well, he wanted to talk to people.

• 42:52Stavros Halkias?

  Priest can't be at the whorehouse.

• 42:53Speaker 04

  He wouldn't shut up.

• 42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Remember they kicked him out of the whorehouse? So fucked up.

• 42:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, swears you just kills him.

• 42:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 42:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  But they, but he just wanted to, he was like clapping and shit, listening to music. And they're like, look, it's a bad look for me to have a priest in here, which is like, you're a fucking whorehouse. Let the man die. So fucked up. Well, I think it's time we fucking give knowledge to people, guys. I mean, you know.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Oh, I forgot the calls.

• 43:16Stavros Halkias?

  There's call-ins.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 43:17Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we have to give advice.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  I thought we were going into a read.

• 43:20Stavros Halkias?

  We're three of the smartest men of all time. No, no. We will do something similar to a read soon, but Elders, play us a little call and then, uh, let's see what we got here. Adam is much smarter now.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Me?

• 43:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude. You've been training to be a fucking interviewer. So you have, you have, you know, incredible skills. Play us, play us some fuck, play us some, uh, calls here, Big LD.

• 43:43Speaker 06

  Stop. This is RD. Big fan of the podcast.

• 43:46Stavros Halkias?

  Sup, RD.

• 43:47Speaker 06

  I, uh, got divorced about ten years back.

• 43:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 43:50Speaker 06

  And, uh, really screwed me up. I haven't really been in the dating game until just the last year or so. Taking some time to work on myself and whatnot, but, uh,

• 44:02Stavros Halkias?

  Ten years.

• 44:03Speaker 06

  I discovered that I am basically a virgin again. And I am a one, one pump Trump now. Uh, had a couple of hookups and it's been, uh, like really fucking embarrassing. Just as soon as that, my dick hits pussy, it's like it's done. Uh, so, you know, I try to get the girl, you know, uh, right, but, uh, it's like causing me some performance anxiety now. And, uh, I've had a couple of chances to get laid and like, you know, I'm just so nervous about it that shit doesn't work.

• 44:36Stavros Halkias?

  He's a good guy.

• 44:38Speaker 06

  Wonder if you had any input on, uh, kinda how to get over this and, uh, you know, what, what next steps to take?

• 44:43Stavros Halkias?

  Eat her pussy first.

• 44:44Speaker 06

  Appreciate the advice. Love the podcast.

• 44:45Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 44:46Speaker 01

  Eat her pussy first. Easy, done. Next.

• 44:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's not just that.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Eat her pussy to completion, then you, it doesn't matter if you bust too quick, she's already come.

• 44:52Stavros Halkias?

  Well, this is, this is a shame that this isn't a read.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  He's a good guy.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Any dick lads coming up? Well, just in case, let's, let's, you know.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Are there any questions about like what color Yeti thermos should I get?

• 45:05Stavros Halkias?

  There might be. Who knows what Elders has cooked up?

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Cause the answer is king crab orange.

• 45:09Stavros Halkias?

  That sounds cool.

• 45:10Speaker 04

  So that's my advice. Maybe see if you can find any king crab.

• 45:13Stavros Halkias?

  Get a nice thermos. Get your mind off how quick you bust. Eat her pussy for a while is true, Adam, for sure. But also like, this is one of the most classic dick pill solutions I've ever heard in my.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  But dick pills, you still, it doesn't keep you longer.

• 45:26Stavros Halkias?

  But you bust, you get the first one out, you can go again.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  Porn style.

• 45:30Stavros Halkias?

  Porn style, absolutely.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Or you can put your fingers in your ass.

• 45:34Stavros Halkias?

  In your own ass?

• 45:35Speaker 04

  And then put them in your nose. So you just, every she smells like shit and she was just disgusted by this woman. And then you can't come.

• 45:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, but he's busting fast or not getting hard. That's a tough combo. Cause you don't want to smell like shit and your dick is soft.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  It's pretty cool if you can bust soft.

• 45:53Stavros Halkias?

  That is, that is cool. And I have busted like so close, like fifty one.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  I feel like if I saw a man standing there and he busted soft, I'd feel like I was at like a Tool concert.

• 46:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  That would be like the visuals. You'd be like, whoa.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. That would be awesome. And you see it changing his face.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, just Michelangelo's fucking.

• 46:13Stavros Halkias?

  Vitruvian suck dick vian man.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  And he's, and he's just leaking. But then it turns into like an alien.

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. The jizz kind of becomes silver.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  And I turn over and Lewis is to the right of me. And he's like, that's fucking smart.

• 46:33Stavros Halkias?

  He's moved to tears. And how beautiful the symbolism is.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  I can't wait to share this with James.

• 46:42Speaker 04

  James will like this.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  But seriously, if the girl's already busted from you like, uh, eating her pussy, maybe it'll relax you a bit because you feel like you made her come.

• 46:52Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Try that out.

• 46:53Stavros Halkias?

  Definitely, yes. But all, like, you are the guy dick pills are made for. Except for really old guys. You're, you know, you're fresh off a divorce.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  We've been taking them since we're twenty one years old, dude.

• 47:04Stavros Halkias?

  On and off. Not twenty one.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  I was taking them every day for my heart.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  Sixteen. No, they're good for that.

• 47:09Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 47:10Speaker 04

  They lower your blood pressure.

• 47:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  The Cialis ones do, yeah. If you take the, like, take a half of one of those, uh, is it Bluetooth you're with or do you have?

• 47:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, who are we with re- right, most recently?

• 47:21Speaker 05

  I think BlueChew might be most recently.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 47:24Stavros Halkias?

  We'll just put it over, we'll just, if it's a different one, we'll just put a different one.

• 47:27Speaker 04

  Just put it over the logo.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  From our first A, we're, you know, we, we, the products were-

• 47:34Speaker 04

  They got mad, they got mad at us because I said that the Hamas guys were using it on October 11th.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, no. This was amazing. Nick, they're like, BlueChew wants you to pull an ad. And Nick's like, they have been advertising with us for eight years. I have a great relationship. They were like, well, let's talk to the, they wanted us to talk to someone that was like the admirer. He's like, I want to talk to the company. We talked to their head of like, uh, of promotion or something. And they were like, yeah, man, like, you, you can't say that Hamas took it before they flew Mario Karts into the music festival. He's like, you guys have been great partners, but you can't-

• 48:10Speaker 04

  Yes, I can, and I did.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Nick was like so fired up and then he-

• 48:16Speaker 04

  I can say that. I did say that. And it's probably what happened. Now where is my $200?

• 48:26Speaker 04

  I would like my $200.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  The amount of times we should have crossed the line and then that-

• 48:32Stavros Halkias?

  I know, it is funny. I mean, the funniest one of all time was Thursday Boots.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Thursday Boots is about the Holocaust, what was it?

• 48:38Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's like, it's getting or something.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Their offices, their offices right across the street from the studio.

• 48:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they're huge, no, really?

• 48:44Speaker 04

  So I walked past the sign, I'm like, we'll go up there, say hi for old times.

• 48:47Stavros Halkias?

  Remember, remember that?

• 48:49Speaker 01

  We got dropped.

• 48:51Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, get your dick hard with pills. You're doing good. The fact that you got women to want to fuck you is good. And yeah, you're just starting over, brother. I remember this phase of my life when you're in your twenties and you're getting pussy for the first time. You're just redoing it. Take some cock pills. Use promo code STAVI on whatever you end up buying.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Or just worry about more important things. Elon Musk is destroying you.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right. Stop talking about yourself, sir.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  Who gives a fuck about pussy right now when some, a bunch of 19-year-old Indians are turning the post office into an anime convention?

• 49:22Speaker 01

  Girl shit?

• 49:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, now fucking chicks with fat tits dressed like Bulma are gonna fucking send you mail in little caps, little Dragon Ball Z capsules. Which actually, sounds pretty cool, actually.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Also, can we?

• 49:33Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to fuck a Bulma mailman.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  I'm gonna be so pissed if all of this stuff ends up being good.

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  It won't be, but yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  But if it does.

• 49:42Stavros Halkias?

  It won't be, but yes, I agree with you.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  I'm gonna be mad.

• 49:44Stavros Halkias?

  Elon is such a fucking gay loser.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Also, like, girls should think.

• 49:47Stavros Halkias?

  They're lying about playing video games.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  That is insane, dude. He said he's the best Diablo player in the world.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Why would you aspire to?

• 49:55Stavros Halkias?

  And then he was on, he was on like, stream, and everyone was like, this guy sucks at this game.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:00Stavros Halkias?

  And he just hired a guy to.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  He said he was the best in the world.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  I like, I've been replaying Metroid Prime, and I'm like, I miss, I could have killed myself years ago.

• 50:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  And I'm like, this is so humiliating, and I'm like, I gotta get a hundred percent.

• 50:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  Gotta get all the missiles, it's a twenty-two-year-old video game, but I gotta, there's no way I'm not one hundred percenting.

• 50:20Stavros Halkias?

  Do you get, when you one hundred percented, do you see her in a bikini?

• 50:23Speaker 04

  No.

• 50:24Stavros Halkias?

  Isn't there a part where you can see her in a bikini?

• 50:25Speaker 04

  At the end of Super Metroid, but not Metroid Prime.

• 50:29Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to fuck Samus if she was a real person.

• 50:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  I'd be honest.

• 50:33Speaker 04

  Really, honestly, any woman.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, any woman.

• 50:35Speaker 04

  Any woman if she was real.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  That applies.

• 50:38Stavros Halkias?

  Well, cause Samus is like, you know.

• 50:40Speaker 04

  Lisa Simpson.

• 50:41Stavros Halkias?

  She's supposed, Lisa's a little kid.

• 50:43Speaker 04

  From SpongeBob.

• 50:44Stavros Halkias?

  Sandy, maybe, yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  I would love, yeah, just.

• 50:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, she scrolls eyes?

• 50:49Speaker 04

  Just nut in the nut, the nut is in the helmet.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Just fill in the helmet. Oh, good, good, good, like, whoa, you're killing me.

• 51:00Speaker 01

  Oh, can I go next?

• 51:02Speaker 04

  Yeah. Sure, Patrick, you look soft. Cause you'd be much bigger than all of them.

• 51:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  You know, they're, he's, they're all this big.

• 51:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Patrick should go first.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  And then you just clean your leg up with SpongeBob.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  Hey! Get your jizz away from me!

• 51:18Stavros Halkias?

  You fucked my friends today.

• 51:22Stavros Halkias?

  And you're using me as a comrade.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry SpongeBob, I just really like cartoons.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  I'm forty years old and I just really like cartoons, I don't know what to tell you SpongeBob.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  I've always wanted to try this.

• 51:38Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, yeah, good luck, buddy.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  RD, also, just tell the girl she's so sexy you busted one.

• 51:43Stavros Halkias?

  You know, whatever, you're fine, bro.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Your pussy's so perfect, I busted it fast.

• 51:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  That's cause you're so, hey Elvis.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love that, just Google can't learn.

• 51:54Stavros Halkias?

  The Google Translate can't deal with it.

• 51:56Speaker 04

  Names, yeah.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, next question here, Eldis, uh-oh. Oh shit, what's going on?

• 52:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck dude. Shit. Shit guys, it's time for the motherf- something crazy's happening.

• 52:09Speaker 04

  Uh oh.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  This is a segment?

• 52:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god. It's time to keep it motherfucking twisted with the twisted ass, motherfucking ass question of the week.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  I'll have one of them.

• 52:19Stavros Halkias?

  You like twisted tea?

• 52:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:22Stavros Halkias?

  Play the, play the thing and get, get our friend Adam a ice cold twisted tea, which by the way, it's brewed with real iced tea. I don't know if you guys know that. And it's the perfect drink on a game day or just enjoy yourself.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  How does that work? Does the tea itself ferment?

• 52:38Stavros Halkias?

  Play the, play the, play the call. Play the call, you fucking prick.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  We can read it. I'll do it.

• 52:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, it's alright.

• 52:42Speaker 04

  Hey Stavi, hey Elvis, huge fan of the podcast.

• 52:47Stavros Halkias?

  How does what, hold on, what, how does what work?

• 52:50Speaker 04

  How do you, like, does the tea ferment? Or do they add alcohol? What do you mean? I'm asking a question.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  You're asking about the fermentation of a twisted tea?

• 52:57Speaker 04

  They just said it's made with real tea, so I'm asking.

• 53:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's brewed with real iced cold iced tea.

• 53:02Speaker 04

  This is why, this is why sponsors drop off all the time, Adam, because I'm feigning interest in their process that they brought up. And very fakely, by the way, to help the read.

• 53:13Stavros Halkias?

  See, Nick, we don't have to worry about all that science mumbo jumbo. All we have to know is that it's delicious and that we have a twisted ass, motherfucking question of the week. Let's see what we got.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  Holy fuck, that was twisted.

• 53:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's alright, we, we'll just, uh, edit over whatever Adam said. It doesn't really matter. Go ahead, Elvis.

• 53:34Speaker 00

  This makes me. Keep it twisted.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  Play the twisted ass que- exactly, just keep editing over Adam and, uh, and let's play the twisted ass, motherfucking ass question of the week.

• 53:44Speaker 07

  Hey Stavi, hey Elvis, huge fan of the podcast.

• 53:46Stavros Halkias?

  You'll get it back.

• 53:47Speaker 07

  So here's my question. Uh, a few months ago, I moved to a new city.

• 53:50Stavros Halkias?

  Who's this? Your boyfriend?

• 53:51Speaker 07

  Uh, and the same day I moved into this apartment, uh, there's a really hot woman moved. Hey Stavi, hey Elvis, huge fan of the podcast. Uh, so here's my question.

• 54:01Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 54:02Speaker 07

  A few months ago, I moved to a new city, uh, and the same day I moved into this apartment, uh, there's a really hot woman moved in literally right in front of me. Uh, initially I told myself I would just ignore her because I think it's kinda comp- it kinda complicates things to date your, uh, same first time you saw me.

• 54:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's why. That's the reason. The hottest woman I've ever seen.

• 54:21Speaker 04

  This is James Comey.

• 54:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  This is like a James Comey, like, fucking, like, oh, I'm doing the principal. No, you're a coward. And that's what makes cowards dangerous is that fucking ninety-nine percent of the time, they do the right thing because they're too much of a pussy to do the wrong thing.

• 54:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right. And then, let's see how, let's see if this guy keeps it twisted or if he stays a coward.

• 54:39Speaker 07

  Same person in your building, nevertheless, somebody like lived directly in front of you.

• 54:44Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, yeah, dude.

• 54:45Speaker 04

  You would have fucked her otherwise.

• 54:46Speaker 07

  Probably. But, you know, since then, uh, we've been talking in the elevator and I found out that we actually have a lot in common.

• 54:54Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm, in the elevator.

• 54:55Speaker 07

  She really is my type of woman and like, I would be out shooting my shot if not for her being my neighbor.

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  Stop talking.

• 55:02Speaker 07

  And the thing is, I'm pretty sure she likes me too.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  I feel like, yeah, like, all of your new fans now are just the guy from that movie that wanted.

• 55:09Stavros Halkias?

  Which, which?

• 55:10Speaker 04

  That could bend bullets? In the beginning of the movie when he's like...

• 55:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, where he's getting like bullied by Chris Pratt?

• 55:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's very much like, yeah, like nineties office worker guy.

• 55:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hey, let's see what he's got.

• 55:20Speaker 04

  Or like the guy from Office Space.

• 55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Before the hypnosis.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  Before the hypnosis, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 55:24Stavros Halkias?

  And dude, this show is hypnosis, it's making them cool. That's the whole...

• 55:29Speaker 04

  Have you ever done that?

• 55:30Stavros Halkias?

  I've never done hypnosis.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Cause they do it for like eating and stuff.

• 55:33Stavros Halkias?

  That'd be sick, actually. Dude, if someone could hypnotize me.

• 55:35Speaker 04

  What if it backfired?

• 55:37Stavros Halkias?

  I eat more?

• 55:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, you just like, you take over a Cinnabon with a gun?

• 55:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'm in a fugue state, I'm like, "Give me pastries!" Let's finish this guy's call, we could talk about that fanciful, uh, scenario later.

• 55:51Speaker 07

  Neighbor, um...

• 55:52Speaker 04

  What did he just say?

• 55:53Stavros Halkias?

  Go back, go back a little bit, I wanna hear this pathetic loser.

• 55:56Speaker 07

  For her being my neighbor.

• 55:59Speaker 07

  I'm pretty sure she likes me too, just because, um, her, her, the way she, she interacts with me, she's excited to see me, she asked for my number, and she even like, she even asked, like, one time my sister came to visit and she was asking me who this woman was.

• 56:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, she was jealous, she wanted that prick.

• 56:17Speaker 07

  Um, and, uh, so I'm like, okay, I think she likes me too. Uh, the problem is, I still have like six months on this lease, and I, I think it's a really bad idea to like shit where you eat.

• 56:29Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, come on, man.

• 56:29Speaker 04

  Don't, don't shit on her pussy.

• 56:31Speaker 07

  Anyway, thank you for taking my call and God bless Albania.

• 56:34Stavros Halkias?

  God bless Albania.

• 56:35Speaker 04

  The problem is, you're six months on a lease.

• 56:38Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, you guys are right, this guy's a loser, he just said, "God bless Albania."

• 56:42Speaker 04

  Why, Dua Lipa is from there.

• 56:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but everybody's got, you know, one hot ass woman in their country.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  Oh, the Gal Gadot of, uh, Hitler at his biscuit, guys.

• 56:53Stavros Halkias?

  That is so true.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  This guy is a loser and I hate him.

• 56:57Stavros Halkias?

  Uh.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  Fuck, she asked for your number, just have sex with her dude.

• 57:01Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta keep it twisted, man, right? That's the important thing to do.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Just keep it twisted.

• 57:04Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted and fuck this lady.

• 57:06Speaker 04

  Did he not make you angry?

• 57:07Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 57:07Speaker 04

  These quests, cause it seems like all of them are like, yeah, I wanna get pussy, but I don't really.

• 57:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, this guy in particular, it's like, who are you kidding, bro? You're, oh, your sacred apartment? This woman's hot as shit, she's made enough small talk with you.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  He only has six months left on this lease.

• 57:25Stavros Halkias?

  And that's the other thing, six months, how bad could it go in six months?

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Fucking idiot.

• 57:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just get pussy, keep it twisted and fuck this lady.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Just keep it twisted.

• 57:33Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you're really not keeping it twisted, you're betraying the ideals of a twisted tea drinker. Twisted tea is about keeping it twisted, having a good time.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you got six months on the lease, whatever, man, have sex with this lady, don't be a coward.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  So she showed me her pussy and I'm not sure that means.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:53Stavros Halkias?

  One way or another.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  She spread it open like this, like with her two fingers, but I don't know what that means, cause she saw my sister one time. What are you talking about, you fucking idiot?

• 58:04Stavros Halkias?

  Well, he was saying that the sister, she was at, he's, he's insinuating that the girl is jealous.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Or.

• 58:10Stavros Halkias?

  Or asking him who the woman was.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Literally, it could be the Joker one, like he could be just fantasizing.

• 58:16Stavros Halkias?

  He could be fan, and yeah, he's ve, and if you are the Joker, don't keep it twisted. Don't kidnap this woman, don't show up in her apartment.

• 58:24Speaker 04

  It depends on which Joker, you know, if it's the Jack Nicholson Joker, I'd say go for it.

• 58:28Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, but he's not charming enough to be the Jack Nicholson Joker.

• 58:31Speaker 04

  You don't know that, we haven't seen him. He could look like him, maybe that's it, maybe she's like, oh my god, is that Jack Nicholson?

• 58:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, this guy's definitely fucking Joaquin Joker, not even close. Cause he's not even cool enough to be the weird, um.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  Heath Ledger.

• 58:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, Heath Ledger's the man, but who's the other, Jared Leto? He's not even like sexy enough to be the weird Jared Leto Joker.

• 58:50Speaker 04

  Thirty seconds to bust.

• 58:51Stavros Halkias?

  Thirty seconds to bust, yeah.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  You know what he could do, get her evicted.

• 58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, smart.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  And then have sex with her.

• 58:59Stavros Halkias?

  That would be keeping it pretty twisted. That would be the ultimate twisted move. So you got a couple of options, pal. And look, whatever you do, take this gal out.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Call 911 on her.

• 59:10Stavros Halkias?

  No, don't. Take her out for a nice, refreshing twisted tea brewed with real iced tea.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  Leave her gas on.

• 59:18Stavros Halkias?

  Don't do that.

• 59:18Speaker 04

  Actually, leave a twelver with a big old suitcase of twisted outside of her apartment. Write a little note on the top that says, "Keep it twisted."

• 59:27Stavros Halkias?

  No, don't do that. That doesn't really follow the ideals of the twisted tea corporation.

• 59:36Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta keep it a li- you gotta keep it a little twisted. Twist that up like my dick in your ass and it's twisted. Still too twisted.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Keep it twisted.

• 59:45Stavros Halkias?

  Just, just get her, how about this? Just share a nice twisted tea with her and fuck her. That's twisted enough.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 59:53Stavros Halkias?

  Don't do anything.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  I like Nick's plan.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  I'll start fucking guys instead.

• 59:58Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, yeah.

• 59:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:00:01Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know why that would work on her, but yeah, you can try it.

• 1:00:04Speaker 04

  It's your last chance.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Nick says, "Leave a note." I say, "Call the police, say she's gonna..."

• 1:00:10Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted. Don't do that either.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  And Star says, "What, share a twisted tea with her?"

• 1:00:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Aldous is making notes of what to bleep out now. I say, "Get a nice, ice cold twisted tea with her." And don't forget. Keep it twisted. All right.

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:00:26Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that was the...

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's me.

• 1:00:28Speaker 04

  Have you ever seen the clip of that McLeven guy doing?

• 1:00:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Damn, son. Where'd you find this?

• 1:00:33Speaker 04

  Oh, it's fake.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  It's fake?

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  I just rewatched that movie.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  So funny.

• 1:00:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh my God, Superman?

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  So funny.

• 1:00:40Stavros Halkias?

  Classic.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Irish soul singer?

• 1:00:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:45Stavros Halkias?

  All right. So we helped that guy out. He was kind of a coward. That wasn't that good of a twisted question, Aldous.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  I hate him.

• 1:00:50Stavros Halkias?

  You kind of fucked up there, but, uh, what else we got, man?

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  Bobby Eldis guest.

• 1:00:57Speaker 08

  Stavi, Eldis, yes, first time, long time, you know the drill, I'm gonna get right to it.

• 1:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 1:01:03Speaker 08

  I have a similar question to one that was asked on a similar episode.

• 1:01:07Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:01:07Speaker 08

  It was about the guy, he was a Greek guy, he owned his family business, or managed his family business, and he wanted to know how to fuck his employees and our customers that came through.

• 1:01:17Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that guy.

• 1:01:18Speaker 08

  I'm not stupid enough to hear and say-

• 1:01:20Stavros Halkias?

  Paul, pause this.

• 1:01:21Speaker 08

  Stavi, give me-

• 1:01:21Stavros Halkias?

  On that episode, Sagala was insisting it's not wrong to fuck your employees. He was like, "Well, this isn't the entertainment industry, what's the point of being-"

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  But also, it is the entertainment industry.

• 1:01:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, he meant like, he meant like, if you owned a diner, you should be able to fuck your waitresses.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  I mean, listen guys, Brendan Sagala has employed thousands of people.

• 1:01:40Stavros Halkias?

  He called him Brandon.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Brendan? You said Brendan.

• 1:01:45Stavros Halkias?

  You did, you definitely said Brendan.

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  No, I didn't say that.

• 1:01:47Stavros Halkias?

  It's taped, it's recorded, so we'll know. But go ahead, Eldis, let's finish this, guys.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  How do you fuck your employees?

• 1:01:53Speaker 08

  I'm not stupid enough to hear and say, "Hey Stavi, give me permission to vangle a raise above these bitches' heads."

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Stavi, give me permission, that's what they're here for.

• 1:02:01Speaker 08

  I'm not that stupid, I know fucking employees would be messy, I don't even have any employees or-

• 1:02:09Speaker 08

  But I do want advice on the other half. I, uh, a little context, I'm 26 years old, I just got out of a two-year relationship. Uh, I manage a lodge in a national park, pretty big national park that is frequented by hundreds of thousands of people each year. Um, our high season is coming up, I, uh, and I'm just looking, how do I, how do I clean up on these women that come through here?

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I changed my doge is a good idea.

• 1:02:38Stavros Halkias?

  We don't need national parks anymore.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  This guy shouldn't be paid by the fucking Department of the Interior, I don't think. Stavi, you are a philosopher king.

• 1:02:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  These people want your permission.

• 1:02:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's, yeah, that's what I'm here for, man.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  That's so cool.

• 1:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, you, you fucking, they interviewed Neil deGrasse Tyson, and now I do philosophy. We split off into our true passions.

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  I, um, I made him kiss me. I sexually assaulted Neil deGrasse Tyson.

• 1:03:05Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, how does he like a little bit, tastes of his own medicine?

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, after what he did.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  He really is like a giant nerd. After it ended, he was like trying to do wrestling moves on like, on me. He like picked me up. I'm like, the fuck are you doing?

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's all. It's so funny because he's another guy that'll come up on like YouTube shorts and half of the time he's, he's being, Anthony Kumia is edited out of it. He was like a mainstay on the Kumia show. Yeah, on the, that first year the Kumia like hadn't re- like, it was weird because it was his, everyone knew what Kumia was about. Like he had gotten disgraced for-

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  No, even, even on, I mean, his like then, maybe he was on, but the very next guest would be that fucking like Irish guy that wrote that, those books about like black crime.

• 1:03:48Stavros Halkias?

  Well Gavin Mcginnis?

• 1:03:49Speaker 04

  No, no, there's another guy. He, his, his name was like Colin, I don't know, McFurty or something. No, I, that was his name.

• 1:03:59Speaker 04

  He was wearing a little newsy cap and you're like, did you know that fucking ten white girls got beat up by blacks last year?

• 1:04:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  It's like, no, I didn't know that. And it's like, that's because you're not doing the research. It's like, I just don't care.

• 1:04:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was so funny because he was a huge Kumia guy.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:16Stavros Halkias?

  He would be on Kumia all the time. It's very fascinating. Uh, go ahead. Let's, so this guy's trying to fuck.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  People that say it is hotel.

• 1:04:23Speaker 08

  I, uh, just got out of that long-term relationship. Like I said, that was my second one that I've had. First one was a five-year one.

• 1:04:30Stavros Halkias?

  Good to know.

• 1:04:31Speaker 08

  I haven't been single that long. I had some years in college where I cleaned up pretty good, but I, um, yeah, I'm looking on advice how to, how to clean up with these women around here. Uh, we have a bar that's attached to our lodge. Our bar is organized to meet.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Oh, he's the bartender.

• 1:04:46Speaker 08

  We are so remote. We're an hour away from the corner now.

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's not better.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  If they called the police.

• 1:04:50Speaker 08

  Not much to do, not much.

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  This guy might be Jack Nicholson.

• 1:04:54Speaker 08

  Uh, I think I'm a corner of the market. You might be on that. Thanks for the advice.

• 1:04:58Speaker 04

  Here's my penis.

• 1:04:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. This is a creepy question. Yeah, dude, I mean, like, how do I make the women-

• 1:05:03Speaker 04

  We're so remote as a detail is crazy.

• 1:05:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it's always sunny, the implication. We're so remote. How do I get him a couple of drinks, get him back to my room? We're so remote.

• 1:05:13Speaker 04

  Women really like, you should cover yourself in honey and go outside the lodge.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Go out into the woods and wait for the women to come.

• 1:05:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I actually read an article that horny women love when a guy's covered in honey.

• 1:05:26Speaker 04

  Fill your pockets with salmon.

• 1:05:30Stavros Halkias?

  Um, look, bro. You, if, if something happens and a woman takes the initiative, but this is still weird and wrong to be like.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  Do you have a boss also that says?

• 1:05:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like, they don't want you to try and fuck the customers at this remote lodge. Um, if, if you're, if you're fucking bartending, you hit it off with somebody that's, that's like, you know, fucking camping or whatever the fuck and they wanna, and they kinda make it clear they wanna fuck you. You have to completely take somebody else's lead. You don't want, you know, yeah, you don't want somebody, you know, uh, tweeting at the nineteen year olds that Elon has to be like, uh, this guy tried to, actually, if you said this guy tried to fuck me, they might give you a raise.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  They burned down Yellowstone?

• 1:06:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, they're like, they're like, oh, we can make so much money if we chop down this forest and sell the wood. This is another government inefficiency, you know, like, but yeah, you don't want, you don't wanna get fired for trying to fuck everyone who comes through your weird little lodge, bro. Just, you took, it's your fault you took a job in a remote place. You can't be trying to fuck the women that just wanna see nature. But you, you might, I mean, I don't know, some of these girls might be on vacation, they might want to fuck.

• 1:06:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess it, it does seem like the women that would go there on their own would be those like weird, smelly, like home birth.

• 1:06:50Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. If you catch them before they, they're in home birth, when they're like young, they're on their way to becoming those women.

• 1:06:57Speaker 04

  Just very long breasts.

• 1:07:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, not fat, but have fat.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  They call their pussies their yoni.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  Very vascular forearms, kinda naughty women.

• 1:07:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  Strong joints.

• 1:07:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you might be able to fuck some of them, but you can't, how do you, how do you make this your go-to? You can't, you just have to put the vibe out, you can't be weird and creepy. Cause the second they sense like, oh, this guy got this job to try and fuck us in this remote corner of fucking Idaho or wherever the fuck you are.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  But stop, don't forget, he had years in college where he cleaned up pretty good.

• 1:07:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  That's a great piece of evidence.

• 1:07:34Stavros Halkias?

  And if you wanna get pussy, you shouldn't be the bartender at a remote cabin. Like, if you wanna get pussy, go to a major city, be the bartender there, you know what I mean?

• 1:07:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, take their time there to like take a taxidermy course and come, come back to Brooklyn with those skills.

• 1:07:48Stavros Halkias?

  Right, yeah.

• 1:07:49Speaker 04

  And then you can clean up financially.

• 1:07:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right, you make them little, what, raccoon pelts?

• 1:07:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, something like that.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  So far, the first guy is a great guy and these last two I hate.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, next, Eldis. There's not much, that one was, there wasn't much there, but don't, yeah, don't be a creep at the bar.

• 1:08:09Stavros Halkias?

  Although, if you work at a cool national park, then we're gonna be around, although it's April. We probably missed him. I'm trying to go hiking on this tour.

• 1:08:19Speaker 09

  Hey Sav, hey Eldis, big fan of the pod, I'm on the Patreon.

• 1:08:23Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, brother.

• 1:08:24Speaker 09

  Love me stand up for years, yada, yada, yada, hello esteemed guest, all that stuff.

• 1:08:28Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:08:29Speaker 09

  Um, I'm gonna try to get to the point, as you like to keep it. Um, I am aspiring creative. Uh, my whole life I've really been into performing, arty shit, all that stuff. I've just kinda always had an inkling to do that, um. I'm now twenty-five years old, I think, you know, I'm holding down a decent job. I've got a good place with a couple of friends, I'm in a relationship, all that stuff, but yet, for some reason, I'm still depressed as shit and I can't get any of my personal projects done.

• 1:09:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:05Speaker 09

  Um. I had to deal with like some really bad grief early on in life. Was born with a myriad of mental health issues.

• 1:09:14Stavros Halkias?

  None of us know what that's like.

• 1:09:15Speaker 09

  An upward battle, but I guess, I was just wondering if you had any advice for when you're just kind of a fat, depressed, unmotivated piece of shit.

• 1:09:28Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:09:28Speaker 09

  Like, I, I just, I have so many ideas, like, projects that I wanna work on, but I just, with everything else that's going on in life, it's still hard to.

• 1:09:37Stavros Halkias?

  You can't.

• 1:09:39Speaker 09

  To find the, the gumption and the time and the energy to do that, while also maintaining like, you know, an adult life.

• 1:09:47Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there's your problem.

• 1:09:48Speaker 09

  Um, yeah, I would just appreciate if you had. Any advice for me, uh, appreciate you, love you, all that stuff, bye-bye.

• 1:09:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean. You could start a podcast that actually becomes successful by accident.

• 1:10:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, you could be friends with Nick.

• 1:10:05Stavros Halkias?

  That works for fucking all of us.

• 1:10:08Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, y- y- at the end of the day, dude, I hate to give you some tough love here.

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, you just gotta do it.

• 1:10:15Stavros Halkias?

  You have to pick one thing and do it.

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  Just fucking do the thing.

• 1:10:18Stavros Halkias?

  Ideas mean nothing.

• 1:10:19Speaker 04

  And also, you're never gonna be happy.

• 1:10:21Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone has fucking ideas. Yeah, you're probably not gonna be as happy as you wanna be, but you will be happier if you're working on something. And you have to do something that the flow of the work makes you fulfilled, even if it never works out, right? Like, when I was, you know, whatever, before I moved to New York and I was just doing open mics, I just loved the process of working out a new bit, of like fucking doing it. And it's like, even if I had come, and when I moved to New York, I was like, even if I fucking flame out, I'll always do stand-up because I like doing it. Like, it does something for me, right? You gotta find something like that and not think about making it. Just think of like, in term, not think about being successful. You just have to work on something.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:00Stavros Halkias?

  That's really all there is to it.

• 1:11:02Speaker 04

  And don't expect it to make you happy. Just expect to just keep working.

• 1:11:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and in many ways, you have, I mean, you have, it's, if you have an adult life where you have, you know, some friends, a girlfriend, like, I don't fucking have, you know, I don't have a fulfilling home life.

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  Get a job at Yosemite.

• 1:11:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you could fucking, yeah.

• 1:11:19Speaker 04

  Become a bartender at Yosemite.

• 1:11:20Stavros Halkias?

  Do you wanna get out?

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:23Stavros Halkias?

  Cause there's a way out.

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  There's a guy there, I think you might be a lot happier if you.

• 1:11:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:30Speaker 04

  And I hear there's a bartender at Yosemite that called you a pretty big fucking loser.

• 1:11:36Stavros Halkias?

  We don't even know that it's Yosemite. He's just fucking, he got, this guy does listen to you and he kills just any bartender.

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  Then I'm on my phone, I'm like, hey, Ian, uh,

• 1:11:47Speaker 04

  I got tickets to Yosemite.

• 1:11:50Speaker 04

  I have this extra, I heard there's a lot of gay guys that are attracted to bartenders. So I got you a shirt that says, "I'm the bartender."

• 1:11:59Speaker 04

  And the ticket is, you leave today and you come back, well, there's no return ticket.

• 1:12:05Stavros Halkias?

  We're shooting a prank show.

• 1:12:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I've hidden cameras rigged up everywhere. You just have to be the bartender and you're seventy.

• 1:12:14Speaker 04

  Kill Ian, kill Ian finance.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  You'll feel a lot better.

• 1:12:20Stavros Halkias?

  You, yeah, you, you might, man. Um, yeah, dude, who gives a fuck? Just, you gotta start fucking.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  And also, at the age you're at, that's adorable to feel that way.

• 1:12:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:12:30Speaker 04

  A lot of guys don't even figure out that they want to be a talk show host until they're forty-two years old.

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  A lot of people like, don't try for the first time in their life until they're thirty-five years old.

• 1:12:40Stavros Halkias?

  Well, again, four, I would say thirty-eight.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Well, I started trying at thirty-five.

• 1:12:44Stavros Halkias?

  Not really.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  Changed everything.

• 1:12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Not really.

• 1:12:47Speaker 01

  Yes, it did. Thirty-seven.

• 1:12:49Speaker 04

  Nope, no.

• 1:12:49Stavros Halkias?

  Nah, wasn't thirty-five, thirty-six.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  Now you're the, you, you.

• 1:12:52Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  You can't erase my net, my age.

• 1:12:55Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 1:12:56Stavros Halkias?

  Started trying at thirty-six. Uh, yeah, so you have.

• 1:13:00Speaker 04

  Eight to be safe.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  I'm not thirty-eight.

• 1:13:03Speaker 04

  Call thirty-eight.

• 1:13:04Stavros Halkias?

  Actually, is this out in April?

• 1:13:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:05Stavros Halkias?

  I'm thirty-eight years old.

• 1:13:10Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, dude, honestly, it sucks to hear, but you just have to do stuff.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, just do stuff.

• 1:13:16Stavros Halkias?

  And you're gonna be bad at it at first, but it doesn't matter, just keep making things. We have all been depressed. I have definitely been and am fat. Nick was fat. Adam never was fat.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  I've had issues with bulimia, interac- nervosa.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, he can't stop gagging and throwing up on the cock. And that's not believable.

• 1:13:38Stavros Halkias?

  He has a shallow, he has a shallow throat, so he's never held down meals.

• 1:13:42Speaker 04

  Throw up after every load.

• 1:13:44Stavros Halkias?

  Sucking dick twice a day for his whole, whole life. Fucking gags on even the smallest dick.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Inherited trauma from the Holocaust.

• 1:13:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so we all have problems. Adam's really persevered. But yeah, everyone, at the end of the day dude, there's so many people who are depressed and think of themselves as creatives. You're not until you do something. We hate to give you the tough love, but that is just fucking true. You just gotta do stuff.

• 1:14:09Speaker 04

  Also like being something doesn't add anything to your life.

• 1:14:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  It's like doing that. A lot of people don't realize that, I mean, they don't make the distinction of doing and being.

• 1:14:20Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 1:14:21Speaker 04

  So they're like, oh, I wanna be a writer. It's like, well, you have a fucking laptop.

• 1:14:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just do it. Exactly. Yeah. Don't be attracted to it because of whatever you have imagined is the prestige of being considered something. Just do the fucking thing. Whatever you're, pick one project, start working, brother. And that will be your salvation. And, but also it might, you still might be depressed. Be, be, be ready for that.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  And it's not gonna make you happy. What it's gonna do is you're gonna just get better at something.

• 1:14:46Stavros Halkias?

  But it, I mean, it does help a little bit.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  It helps to be occupied.

• 1:14:50Stavros Halkias?

  But it also helps to.

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  And driven.

• 1:14:52Stavros Halkias?

  I think it helps to see yourself make progress in something too. You know what I mean?

• 1:14:59Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, what else we got? Little elders with the little ass nuts?

• 1:15:02Speaker 10

  Hi folks, I was using the whole intro, but, um, I was gonna make this short and now I'm not making it short. Anyways. Um, love you guys so much. So my question is, so recently back on the dating scene, enjoying myself.

• 1:15:16Stavros Halkias?

  Enjoying yourself, respect.

• 1:15:17Speaker 10

  Been meeting a lot of great guys, having a lot of fun.

• 1:15:19Stavros Halkias?

  This is a cool chick.

• 1:15:20Speaker 10

  Hmm, it's kind of a sensitive question, I guess. I don't really know how to phrase this. So obviously we kind of know about the concept of like. Gooners and guys.

• 1:15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Arsenal. Shout out, no, not Arsenal. Guys beating they dick.

• 1:15:36Speaker 10

  Gooners and guys that just been waiting for time for having.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  What is it?

• 1:15:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  What's a gooner jerking off?

• 1:15:41Stavros Halkias?

  Is it different from edging? No, it's just guys who beat off all the time. Okay, but it's not like.

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  It's like beating off obsessively or something.

• 1:15:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's just like. But it's not edging. I thought it was like. No, no, gooners aren't edging. They're busting. Alright. But they're just beating, it's like guys who just like are addicted to pornography.

• 1:15:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:15:57Stavros Halkias?

  So many more young bros are. Yeah, gay pornography. In Adam's case, gay pornography. These guys. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Jewish gay, what?

• 1:16:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just you. You, basically.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  I don't watch porn anymore.

• 1:16:10Stavros Halkias?

  You and the guy, yeah. You don't?

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  No. Doesn't work, it's too contrived.

• 1:16:16Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, why is there a woman in this? This is so unrealistic. This is contrived. Where are the guys?

• 1:16:22Speaker 04

  There should be a man throwing up after half of a McDonald's hashbang.

• 1:16:26Stavros Halkias?

  Why aren't, why aren't they crying after they bust? Why aren't they crying and calling their fiance and ask them how their day's going after they bust?

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  Everyone's mad at me because I said Patrick Mahoma. Which is pretty funny, by the way.

• 1:16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Which is hilarious, by the way, I'm so funny.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  And then I said, this is so us.

• 1:16:47Speaker 04

  And then also, and then also, I'm gonna keep saying, this is so us. This is so us. I've been trying to, working, dated, and then at one point, I'm gonna say, that's so Samantha. That's so Samantha. I've been doing my- That's so you.

• 1:17:03Stavros Halkias?

  Um, alright, so gooners, she's talking about straight gooners, not Adam-style gooners, and let's go ahead, Eldis.

• 1:17:10Speaker 10

  Like, gooners and guys that just spend way too much time on porn have been consuming too much, like porn and the issues kind of resulting from that, like maybe, like I think like somebody called it like death grip syndrome, like guys are just like beating their shit way too hard and they can't actually fuck. Um, so then, doing my thing, and have encountered like a fair amount of guys that literally just, like, I'm not complaining, but like focus on going down on me, like all of these things, like everything is focused on me, which is fantastic, but then either don't ask to be reciprocate, like they don't-

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  They don't ask.

• 1:17:47Speaker 10

  Like I'll say, like, I'll go down on you, like, no problem, they have like, I'm into it, and like, oh no, don't worry about it, or like they can't finish or they can't really get hard, like never really had an issue with this, like, previously, but in the last, like, call it a couple months, like, I literally have just like not, it hasn't been like repeat offenders, but like, I just like, I keep seeing it. Not that I'm like sleeping with that many guys, but you know what I mean?

• 1:18:10Stavros Halkias?

  Pause this.

• 1:18:11Speaker 10

  So that-

• 1:18:11Stavros Halkias?

  I can't imagine eating pussy and not, I mean, like, sure, every once in a while, you just eat pussy and then like, whatever, it's like, oh, I gotta go to work. I can't get my dicks, but like, someone asking to suck your dick and you don't even let her do it for a little bit? Even if you're not gonna bust?

• 1:18:28Speaker 04

  Sounds like a great guy.

• 1:18:31Stavros Halkias?

  This guy sounds like a fucking bitch.

• 1:18:33Speaker 04

  The board did that on time.

• 1:18:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:35Speaker 04

  That's real people, they're walking by.

• 1:18:38Speaker 05

  Eldis, I have stood by you from day one.

• 1:18:43Speaker 05

  That one wasn't at you, that was at the thought of not asking you to get your dick sucked.

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is great, especially when you got a girl chomping at the bit to slurp you up.

• 1:18:51Speaker 04

  Well, hopefully she's not chomping at the bit, I don't think, maybe that's the best.

• 1:18:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  Man, maybe you should stop chomping on everyone's bit.

• 1:18:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, don't go, what was that, what's that, what's that little black, um, ball from Mario?

• 1:19:03Speaker 05

  Beetlejuice.

• 1:19:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's called Beetlejuice?

• 1:19:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:19:06Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, I didn't know.

• 1:19:07Speaker 05

  You said little black.

• 1:19:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, oh, no, I meant the little black ball from Mario that chomps.

• 1:19:12Speaker 04

  Oh, uh, it's like chomp-omp, right?

• 1:19:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, ch- ch- no, machomp is a.

• 1:19:19Speaker 04

  No, it's chomp-omp, chain chomp.

• 1:19:21Stavros Halkias?

  Chain chomp, yeah, don't go chain chomp on the prick, but I don't think she is, I think she wants to slob on it. Finish up, Eldis.

• 1:19:27Speaker 10

  I'm like sleeping with that many guys, but you know what I mean?

• 1:19:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's okay if you are.

• 1:19:30Speaker 10

  So that, like, that is just kind of like, what do I, like, do I do anything? Do I need to be changing myself? I like, don't think so, but like, I don't know, like, I was fucking this guy and, like, he, I thought I was having a, like, we were having a great time, and he, like, just kind of stops and was like, hey, you mind if I just put on porn to finish?

• 1:19:50Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:19:51Speaker 10

  I was like, I, I mean, I'm not gonna say no, but like, I don't know, you're fucking a 25-year-old, like, I, like, I, what, what, what is the issue? Am I doing something wrong? Should I just like stop fucking around? I don't know. Anyways, this is very long, love you so much, bye.

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  This is weird because it's like, this, like, this is obviously not anything you can control, there's no advice for this lady that, like, that sounds like a.

• 1:20:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's not get better at fucking.

• 1:20:16Speaker 04

  It sounds like a society problem, so unfortunately, and I would really never suggest this to anybody, but it sounds like you need to move to India.

• 1:20:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:25Speaker 01

  Might be a good idea.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  I'm sorry.

• 1:20:27Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's over correcting Nick. I think we're going a little too far.

• 1:20:31Speaker 01

  No, they're sending over theirs, why can't we send over ours?

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  I think you might have to move to India and start fucking Indian guys because they will do, they will just, I mean, it's gonna be 10 on 1 as soon as you're coming off the plane.

• 1:20:43Stavros Halkias?

  Again, I think that's too, I think that's too extreme a solution here.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  As soon as you get off that plane, I mean, you're never getting your pussy eaten again, it's just.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true.

• 1:20:55Speaker 04

  Straight, yeah.

• 1:20:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, how about this, if you're worried about getting your pussy eaten too much, an older Italian guy. A guy who thinks he's in the mafia.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 1:21:01Stavros Halkias?

  Who thinks it's gay to eat pussy.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:03Stavros Halkias?

  You know, or black guys.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  I feel, like, we had to work so hard to find titties when we were like 13.

• 1:21:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is bad.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Get out any time they want.

• 1:21:11Stavros Halkias?

  This is a dark omen for men of this generation.

• 1:21:13Speaker 01

  I'm sad about the kids.

• 1:21:14Stavros Halkias?

  Guys, if you're listening, don't put on porn when you fuck a girl. Figure, even if, listen, fellas.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  It's their fault, girl.

• 1:21:20Stavros Halkias?

  Even if you gotta.

• 1:21:21Speaker 04

  Put on Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

• 1:21:23Stavros Halkias?

  Put on Who Framed, no, dude, I would, as soon as Jessica Rabbit comes on the screen, I'm like.

• 1:21:27Speaker 04

  I've done that, I put on Toy Story 3 one time.

• 1:21:30Stavros Halkias?

  While fucking?

• 1:21:33Stavros Halkias?

  Is that the one where they're almost dead, where they, yeah, that's the part you come at?

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  That's the one where he plays with Andy for the last time?

• 1:21:38Speaker 04

  No, I didn't, I actually just stopped and I was like, I wanna watch Toy Story 3. And I, I downloaded it at the time, so it was in Russian and mirrored.

• 1:21:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:21:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, so you had to read the subtitles backwards.

• 1:21:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's good.

• 1:21:50Speaker 04

  And I, yeah, I just sat there.

• 1:21:51Stavros Halkias?

  You're training your brain for what's important.

• 1:21:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:21:54Speaker 01

  You just went soft, eating a pussy.

• 1:21:56Speaker 04

  No, I was hard.

• 1:21:58Stavros Halkias?

  But you wouldn't let her touch it?

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, don't touch it.

• 1:22:03Speaker 04

  What's gonna happen to Buzz?

• 1:22:08Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, I mean, look.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  I feel bad for this guy.

• 1:22:10Stavros Halkias?

  This is a tough one, this also, selfishly, I'm like, nice, the generation after me.

• 1:22:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:17Stavros Halkias?

  Is like, they might have disqualified themselves from fucking, you know what I mean? It's like, you do, you just need to, you gotta be around non-gooners. I don't know how you find that, I don't know what's characteristic of a gooner, I feel like everyone is jacking off too much.

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's just, that sounds like when we were 16 or like 15, right?

• 1:22:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like, imagine what we would do if we had access to this amount of pornography when we were like younger. It would be bad.

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  Probably fucks your brain.

• 1:22:43Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, I don't know. I mean.

• 1:22:45Speaker 05

  Try, I, I, I feel like I would usually say like, meet people on the apps, use the tools you have available. But in this case, it's like maybe the younger generation, just like really phone obsessed, really like used to the gamify dating. It's like, try to fuck people IRL.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  I know what you're saying, oldies. She should fuck like a seventy-five-year-old man. Who doesn't know how to use the phone.

• 1:23:07Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, just, just, yeah.

• 1:23:08Speaker 05

  Who's horny and.

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  You should date a seventy-five-year-old man.

• 1:23:11Speaker 04

  You are homeless people. Homeless men without access to.

• 1:23:17Stavros Halkias?

  But you know, this is a good point of like, go outside your normal, whatever's going on here. Your normal dating pool, for whatever reason, we're not sure. They're not busting the way they need to.

• 1:23:27Speaker 04

  Stop fucking people from Discord.

• 1:23:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly. Yeah, that's what's going on. You need, you need to go a little bit outside. And at the end of the day though, it's not your issue. Dating is, is, is annoying for a number of reasons. It's usually not, guys won't let me suck their dicks and they have to beat off to porn while we fuck annoying. It's usually like, oh, that was a waste of time. You do have to wade through a lot of people to connect to, so. You just gotta, and then if you catch, here's the thing, if you catch some gooner energy here, maybe just be like, alright, try, figure out a way to filter this out before you fuck these people probably. Cause they're not what you want, right? You have to figure out like, you know, what, you know, culturally.

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  The guy wearing an Apple Vision Pro and he's, you can see the pornography. As he's talking to you at Starbucks. Through the lens, maybe avoid that guy.

• 1:24:21Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but man, what a, what an interesting conundrum for our gal to be in. We're, you know.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  It's not your fault. Don't feel bad about yourself.

• 1:24:28Speaker 04

  I like these. These are fun, dude.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  She seems like a nice girl.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  She seems nice. She's trying to suck dick and society won't let her. Puh. This is Trump's America, dude.

• 1:24:40Stavros Halkias?

  You got some, what do you think, something nice to go out on here, Aldous?

• 1:24:43Speaker 04

  Sure, we can go to kind of a response to a call from a recent Kush Bros.

• 1:24:48Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, what was the call?

• 1:24:51Speaker 04

  It was about, uh, do guys like getting their nipples played with?

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:24:55Speaker 01

  Stop does.

• 1:24:57Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean, I do?

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  You do.

• 1:24:59Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:25:02Speaker 01

  Stop also believes in titty fucking as a real thing.

• 1:25:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you know what? That's another annoying thing. You should be able to titty fuck.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  It's not, it's a fake thing, though.

• 1:25:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's not fake, it's cool. If you like tits, it's nice to have tits around your dick.

• 1:25:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, but what does it do for the girl?

• 1:25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's a take turns situation. And maybe some of them like it.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  Stop, we've been through this a thousand times.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  This is because at the time you were dating one with smaller tits than Nick, and you were trying to fucking pretend you were an ally.

• 1:25:28Speaker 04

  Smaller tits than me?

• 1:25:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:29Speaker 01

  Smaller tits than Nick.

• 1:25:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, at the time.

• 1:25:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, I have.

• 1:25:35Stavros Halkias?

  And so you were being a pick me.

• 1:25:37Speaker 04

  Actually, that's true, she probably does have smaller tits.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  I remember when I started dating my current girlfriend, you picked me up in the car, I was like, "Stop, I feel like I'm 13 again."

• 1:25:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:44Speaker 01

  I've fallen back in love with who knows.

• 1:25:46Stavros Halkias?

  And that disgusted me, because you're just a guy with no fucking morals.

• 1:25:49Speaker 04

  Nobody, yeah.

• 1:25:50Stavros Halkias?

  Wherever the wind blows, you pretend is the best thing.

• 1:25:52Speaker 04

  Nobody wants to hear about good things happening to you.

• 1:25:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:56Speaker 01

  I have cancer.

• 1:25:57Stavros Halkias?

  Also, you were pretending to like tits on some level. I think on some level, you like your wife to have smaller tits.

• 1:26:04Speaker 04

  If you told me you had cancer, I would say, yeah, it's probably one of the good types.

• 1:26:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you probably have like skin cancer. You'll be out of it, you'll be like, you have like, uh, go to a dermatologist's office, you're there for 45 minutes, it's gone.

• 1:26:16Speaker 04

  That happened, you remember that happened? He was, it was like a whole week and a half, he was bellyaching about how he had skin cancer.

• 1:26:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god, how many times have you had health panics?

• 1:26:22Speaker 04

  It literally fell off.

• 1:26:24Stavros Halkias?

  How many times have you had health panics?

• 1:26:24Speaker 04

  Which have all been real.

• 1:26:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:26:27Speaker 04

  Mine have all been real.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  I will say this, I will say this.

• 1:26:29Speaker 04

  I've never had skin cancer fall off. It was a booger. It was like a dried booger on his hand, that he had not, he just like wouldn't even wipe it off. He didn't even try. Can you imagine having a sore, you don't even try scratching it?

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  I went for a hand booger to the doctor.

• 1:26:43Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you also were doing your own dental work, that was wild.

• 1:26:46Speaker 04

  I was doing my own dental work.

• 1:26:46Stavros Halkias?

  Remember, you were fucking getting those scrapers or whatever?

• 1:26:49Speaker 04

  I still use those. The kinds I use at a dental hygienist.

• 1:26:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucked up, dude.

• 1:26:52Speaker 04

  I will say this, yeah.

• 1:26:54Stavros Halkias?

  Using the hooks on yourself is nuts.

• 1:26:56Speaker 04

  Well, I'll be, look, full disclosure, I'm an older man now, I don't mind admitting when I was wrong, did not work. I suffer from periodontal disease and I have to get a $400 teeth cleaning every three months.

• 1:27:10Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, let's take-

• 1:27:11Speaker 04

  Louis says that too. I've had like multiple medical things where like, you know, I talk about it and then Louis reaches out to me, he's like, "Yeah dude, I had that too." I'm like, "God damn it." Cause they're just bad hygiene things.

• 1:27:23Stavros Halkias?

  You have skank mouth?

• 1:27:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, literally. He's like, he's like, "I've been doing like coconut holy, coconut holy and xylitol gum and stuff." Cause we both have gum disease.

• 1:27:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:27:31Speaker 04

  And then we both have like eyelid problems.

• 1:27:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 1:27:34Speaker 04

  Cause we'll like fucking like get like, you know-

• 1:27:36Stavros Halkias?

  Whip your ass and-

• 1:27:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'm like sticking my fingers in my eye after my assholes.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, fuck dude. Not me, I've got beautiful health. Let's see what this fucking, let's see what this question about nipples is.

• 1:27:52Speaker 11

  Hey, Savi, LD, and esteemed guest or guest-

• 1:27:56Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:27:56Speaker 11

  Uh, I'm calling in response to the call from the lesbian on the Kush Brothers episode with Pat Bercher and JP McDavid, which was released-

• 1:28:05Speaker 04

  Shout out. Two legends.

• 1:28:07Speaker 11

  Uh, February 6th, I think it was recorded in December, so maybe we'll get this one in June.

• 1:28:12Stavros Halkias?

  In April, actually, buddy.

• 1:28:14Speaker 11

  Our friend was asking about if, if men like their nipples played with and all four of you fine gentlemen, uh, responded to the negative and I, I am one of the few.

• 1:28:24Stavros Halkias?

  You're not, it's not the few.

• 1:28:25Speaker 11

  Uh, it's something that I've known about myself since I was a teenager. I don't know exactly where it comes from. Um, I like a, a, a light touch or a lick. Sometimes you can get a little pressure and a pinch, but not too hard.

• 1:28:37Speaker 04

  Hold on, you know who this guy reminds me of?

• 1:28:39Stavros Halkias?

  Who's that?

• 1:28:39Speaker 04

  Um, can you look up the scene from Mars Attacks where they're doing the press conference? And one of the reporters asks if the aliens have two sexes?

• 1:28:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, do the more, yeah, this guy. This is who this guy is.

• 1:28:56Speaker 01

  Good morning. It's nice to see you all again. I just have a few minutes for questions.

• 1:29:02Stavros Halkias?

  What a great movie.

• 1:29:08Speaker 06

  The Martians have two.

• 1:29:14Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, can we watch that?

• 1:29:16Speaker 04

  Mars attacks?

• 1:29:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Uh, we don't have time. I have to go too. Yeah, let's finish up with his nipples and then we're done. And then come back, we'll do a Mars.

• 1:29:24Speaker 04

  Oh, this guy's got numbers in here.

• 1:29:26Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 1:29:27Speaker 04

  He's got percentages.

• 1:29:28Stavros Halkias?

  Let's see what he's got.

• 1:29:29Speaker 11

  In a pinch, but not too hard, you know, not the media and stuff.

• 1:29:32Stavros Halkias?

  It is disgusting hearing him talk about this.

• 1:29:34Speaker 11

  The only way that I've like been able to describe it to other people, and obviously I have no actual insight into this, is like I have two clips on my chest.

• 1:29:43Stavros Halkias?

  Two clips?

• 1:29:43Speaker 11

  It really feels that good. It's something I don't necessarily need it to come, but seventy-five, eighty percent of the time I probably have my nipples played with. Uh, while I'm getting off, so. Uh, I don't do it on my own. It's only something I do with partners.

• 1:30:00Stavros Halkias?

  Why did you pick this question?

• 1:30:01Speaker 11

  But yeah, there are, uh, there are, um, some of us out here, I, I don't know if I've ever met anyone else, but, um.

• 1:30:08Speaker 01

  This guy's nauseating.

• 1:30:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's just a guy saying he likes his nipples played with.

• 1:30:13Speaker 04

  What's the advice?

• 1:30:15Stavros Halkias?

  He just called in to let us know.

• 1:30:17Speaker 01

  I have two clit or eye on my chest. Uh, shout out to JP McDade.

• 1:30:23Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to McDade.

• 1:30:24Speaker 01

  Eighty percent of the time, I, how, this guy is disgusting.

• 1:30:27Stavros Halkias?

  All right, man. Congrats. You like your titties played with a little bit?

• 1:30:30Speaker 04

  Cool.

• 1:30:30Stavros Halkias?

  Just a little insight to an opposing view to end the show. Yeah, yeah. You're always, you're about keeping the. This is a forum for discourse.

• 1:30:37Speaker 04

  I really hope, I hope this guy made the same exact phone call to Washington Journal.

• 1:30:44Stavros Halkias?

  Well, there you have it, folks. You guys are not nipples guys, are you? Whatever a girl tells me.

• 1:30:52Stavros Halkias?

  I don't even like having sex.

• 1:30:56Speaker 01

  Adam's gay. Adam's gay.

• 1:30:59Stavros Halkias?

  You're the gay one. Uh, that'll do it, folks. Thanks to Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland. Watch the Adam Friedland Show.

• 1:31:06Speaker 04

  Boys.

• 1:31:07Stavros Halkias?

  Come see us on tour. Nick, anything to plug here, my friend?

• 1:31:10Speaker 04

  No, the only thing I have on the calendar is, uh, I'll be opening for Shane, I guess, in, I don't know, the middle of the summer.

• 1:31:16Stavros Halkias?

  All right. Look out for that. That'll be fucking fun. Um, and, uh, yeah, thanks for, thanks for listening. We'll talk to you next week. Bye-bye.

• 1:31:25Speaker 04

  Watch Adam Friedland Show.

• 1:31:37Speaker 12

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends. Everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:31:52Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobbies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the Premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOVE.

• 1:32:37Stavros Halkias?

  Terms apply.