What's So Funny About Space?

Our season finale features the incomparable comedian Joan Rivers. In this episode, she provides color commentary for a Red Carpet parade of previous show topics, including space tourism, the anniversary of Apollo 11, and the search for alien life (both in space and in Hollywood!). NOTE: All-Access subscribers can listen to this entire episode commercial-free here: https://www.startalkradio.net/all-access/whats-funny-space/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Our universe is filled with secrets and mysteries, leaving us with many questions to be answered.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we find ourselves searching for those answers as the very fabric of space, science, and society are converging.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Here, for the first time, these worlds collide as we give you the knowledge that breaks the barrier between what is science and what is merely pop culture. This is StarTalk. Now, here's your hosts, astrophysicist Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson and comedian Lynn Koplitz. StarTalk.

• 1:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We're back on StarTalk. Lynn Koplitz, good to see you again. I missed you last week.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  I know, I always miss you.

• 1:18Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're so busy, like, working.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  I gotta work for my money, Neil. I'm back on the stroll.

• 1:23Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We don't pay enough here? All right.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Back on the stroll. That's the life of a comedian.

• 1:28Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're listening to StarTalk Radio. I'm your host, Neil deGrasse Tyson, joining with me my co-host Lynn Koplitz, stand-up comedian and actress. So, what we've got here is StarTalk Radio. You can track us at StarTalkRadio.net, and not only that, we're now podcastable on iTunes. All you have to do is go, like, search for StarTalk, and it's actually a Discover, it's a Discover magazine portal. They have other podcasts available through that channel, but we're there. StarTalkRadio.net.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  I think it's great that we talk about science on this show, and you're an astrophysicist, and the two of us just had a total spasm moment where we couldn't get sound on the air. See, we're real people, people.

• 2:12Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah. No, we're good. I think we're good now.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  So, we're on, this is our 13th show?

• 2:17Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  13th show, Bakers Dozen. That's right.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Our 13th show, and, um... I think it's been kind of successful.

• 2:24Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, well, I think there are a lot of ways to measure that. How many people call in, how many emails we get.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  It's really been a little experiment because we didn't know how it was going to work out, Neil.

• 2:33Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  An astrophysicist and, you know, a space cadet, as they like to call me in the intro.

• 2:40Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I think of you as a space brigadier general sometimes.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Thank you so much. And according to what Stephen Colbert said on a show where he said repeatable results, I just want to, I'd like to prove today that I have listened to the show and learned something. I think the repeatable results is that we wanted to see if people would be interested. If we could draw your crowd and my crowd.

• 3:01Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I think that is, that is success.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  If we could bring them both to the dinner party and the repeatable results would suggest, yes.

• 3:07Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Plus, you were showing off that we had Stephen Colbert as a guest.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I'm just a bit of a name dropper and we have some other big names. We had some astronauts and Peter Max.

• 3:17Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So the real experiment here is linking science and comedy, really, to see what that experiment means.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  A pop culture.

• 3:24Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Pop culture.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  I'm pop culture, I think.

• 3:26Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And Bill Nye had something to say about this.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sure he did.

• 3:30Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It's our Bill Nye minute. Let's see what he's got to say on that subject.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  When we take our summer break, is Bill Nye going to take it with us?

• 3:36Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yes, he will. So let's find out what he's got to tell us.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Hey, Bill Nye, the Science Guy here. This week, is science funny? Well, try this one. 186,000 miles per second. It's not just a good idea, it's the law. See, that's funny if you know the speed of light. 300,000 kilometers a second. Is that any funnier? Not really. How about this one? If a plane crashes. Well, that's because there were too many poles in the left half plane.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  See, that's not really funny. It's about a plane crash. But if you know about control systems and imaginary numbers in the left half plane, it's kind of charming. And they asked these guys in Switzerland at the particle accelerator, at CERN, is it true that you're going to make a black hole that could swallow up the Earth in 45 minutes? No, it's more like 50 minutes. See, that's funny to the scientist, but to the illiterate journalist, it's kind of a mystery. Well, I remind you that science is a human idea. Maybe the best idea humans have ever had. And since there are humans involved in science and humans are funny, well, that makes science funny. Get it? I got to fly, Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

• 4:39Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  There he goes. You know, Bill Nye started his career as a stand-up comedian. I don't know if you knew that.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Oh, really? Well, you can't tell, that's good.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Well, listen, we are, this show, let's tell everyone, we're about to go on a summer break, you and I.

• 4:55Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yes, yes.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Because we have given all we can to the universe right now, and we both need to enjoy a little sun and get out of the studio.

• 5:02Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Right.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  And so we decided, instead of just doing flashback clips, we have some interesting guests, and we wanted ourselves to kind of nostalgically go past some of the shows that we enjoyed.

• 5:14Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, well, you said interesting guests. This is like-

• 5:17Speaker 02

  We have a special guest who's my friend.

• 5:19Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Your friend? Well, it's not just any old friend. I happen to know Lynn. You slipped in Joan Rivers on us.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  I know, I saved the best for last. You didn't know that's what I had with all your rocket scientists, and I pulled Joan Rivers out of my pocket, baby.

• 5:35Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You totally, you totally delivered, Joan Rivers. And we've got-

• 5:39Speaker 02

  And we went to her house. You got to go to her house.

• 5:41Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We did. It was, she was so kind to us, by the way. She had her little dogs running around, too.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  Yes, they're everywhere. She's hilarious with her dogs. She's like me with my dogs. But also, you know, her grandson Cooper is a huge science fan.

• 5:54Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  He's like a middle schooler or something.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  He's nine.

• 5:57Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, okay.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  And he loves Hayden Planetarium, and you were generously giving her your membership there for Cooper.

• 6:03Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I had to kiss up somehow.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  She was so tickled. She was thrilled. So we have a lot of interviews with her. We're going to listen to them, huh?

• 6:09Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, and we want to find out. What are her views on many of the subjects of the series?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  We picked some of our favorite subjects, and then we wanted to see what Joan would say.

• 6:19Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Like, for example, on space exploration. Let's see what she told us about that. Stock Talk Radio is here in Joan Rivers' library, and I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson with Lynn Koplitz and Joan Rivers.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Joan Rivers.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  It's my library. I should be in here.

• 6:34Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Okay.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Makes sense.

• 6:38Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So Joan, StarTalk, as you know, we talked to anybody who's got something to say about the universe, and we know you had stuff to say about everything, including the universe. So I just wanted to start off, I had like a bunch of questions I want to ask you. You realize that in space, particularly in orbit around Earth, there's like no gravity, there's like zero G, and on the moon, it's like one-sixth G. And so you realize that it's, with less gravity, things float. Do you have any thoughts about that? Do you ever thought of living in space because things float?

• 7:09Speaker 04

  No, what I've thought about is, I know that if you go around the Earth, if you go backwards, you get younger.

• 7:16Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That was in the movie Superman?

• 7:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, but that's not real, though. That was just Superman.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Well, apparently Suzanne Somers now lives in a rocket ship. So, no, I don't like the outfits, so I wouldn't live in outer space.

• 7:32Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So it's all about the clothes?

• 7:33Speaker 04

  Yes, I'm sorry.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  I agree, but I like the idea of zero gravity, Joan, because without zero gravity, gravity is what pulls everything down. So it does give us that more uplift. That's the only reason I would even consider going in space, is the idea of I don't have that drag down.

• 7:50Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So Joan, you don't need any more uplift, apparently?

• 7:52Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, the point is, yeah, so you would have things up, you still have to wear those stupid spacesuits.

• 7:58Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, good point.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  They look like gay exterminators. I don't like the spacesuits.

• 8:02Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Good point. So even if you're floating, no one knows because you're wearing a spacesuit?

• 8:07Speaker 04

  Yes, you're wearing a stupid spacesuit, they don't know, you can't get your toes down, those big boots, the gravity boots. It is so not for me.

• 8:14Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So you want open-toed gravity boots?

• 8:16Speaker 04

  I would like if I was good, I will wait to go on the moon until they figure out a way you can look nice.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  No, I see, I could totally see you doing for QVC, something designer in the whole the aerospace line. We could do first.

• 8:34Speaker 04

  The moon pin.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  And it makes you look thinner.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  And that's me mocking that everything, everything on QVC, they always say makes you look thinner.

• 8:46Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  This is where, this is where, if you want to find her on TV, she's going to be on QVC like half the time, is that, is that where she-

• 8:51Speaker 02

  And the, and the roast, they're playing it over and over again and it's wonderful-

• 8:56Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  On Comedy Central when they roasted Joan Rivers.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  It's absolutely wonderful. Now what else, we have more clips from Joan.

• 8:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, so I also asked her about the practical realities of human space exploration. Listen to what she says about that, alright.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  I would like to know what a woman does seriously, I might make a joke about a period in space. What do you do? That's why I think there's so few astronauts, ladies that they send up. Remember that idiot that drove wearing a diaper, of course-

• 9:19Speaker 02

  No, you think she's an idiot because I say she's a genius. Everyone called her crazy and I was like, only an astronaut comes up with the clever idea of going from Texas to Florida and wearing a diaper so she just saved time.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  I know, but for God, would you want to sit next to her in the car? I mean, remember that she went to kill her boyfriend of the, of the astronaut's wife? I don't know. Only an astronaut would think that. But I think, I love the idea of, I've always thought of my body as kind of the last frontier. And my G-spot is a place that no man has dared to go, so.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  And if he does, he may not come back. He'll get sucked into some sort of black hole, is that what you're telling?

• 9:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  There's a concern, because in the long voyages to Mars, people have to live in close quarters for a long time and they have to be really friendly with each other.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  And I find that really, you better make them very ugly lady astronauts. Yeah, oh, I think, you don't put a good-looking, hot little astronaut in there with other men. You put in like a big lumpy astronaut.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  I don't know if you know this, but this was on one of our shows as well, that there is an NASA sex tape out there, because they wanted to see if they could have sex in space. And they actually taped it. And I was saying that-

• 10:32Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I've never seen it, I haven't seen it.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  And I said that I thought the favorable position would be doggy style.

• 10:37Speaker 04

  It would have to be, I would-

• 10:39Speaker 02

  You have to hold on?

• 10:40Speaker 04

  You have to hold on, I think that's-

• 10:42Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You've got to brush up on your laws of physics if you're going to do sex in space.

• 10:46Speaker 04

  You understand, of course, that this is what you're going to put on as a viral video. You talk about a viral video. That's a viral video.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  That's a viral video.

• 10:54Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Okay, so just to recap, we put ugly women astronauts.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  In the space.

• 10:58Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  In the space station.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  And I think we make sure we we regulate their cycle and make sure that they're not PMS when they're up there because we don't need someone having some sort of space craze.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  But I I wonder when they do send up the women astronauts, they have to take that into consideration.

• 11:13Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  The cycle, well, you mean the launch date.

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Or do you, when you're in space, not have your period, the way ballerinas don't?

• 11:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I I don't know.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  That's interesting.

• 11:23Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, ballerinas don't because they because they're basically dysmenorrheic, right?

• 11:27Speaker 04

  They're so, ballerinas are also busy working and working out. Like, a lot of women athletes don't have their period. I wonder if astronauts do it. See, that's the kind of things people would love to know. But no, they tell us the stupid things.

• 11:42Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, no, there's other stuff they don't tell you. They don't tell you every time an astronaut throws up. They don't tell you that.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  And they do throw up all the time, and they're in that little helmet. Yeah, they do.

• 11:50Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And it floats in the air, and they have to, like, vacuum it up.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  And that's why they would take a woman in space. Could you clean that up? Hey, Joan, could you clean that up?

• 12:01Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Joan is hilarious. What an icon she is.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Isn't she great? I think it sounds like I love listening to this because I, you know, I haven't heard it yet, and it sounds like Joan and I are two little kids playing, and you keep coming in like the papa, like the teacher, like, and really, astrophysically speaking.

• 12:16Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That's because I'm sitting between the two of you during that interview. I felt like, you know, I'm like, why am I even here? You know, because you all just, like, resonating.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Because you were keeping us both down-to-earth and sane.

• 12:27Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You know, and plus Joan's been around for many decades, as we know, and.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  I don't think she'd appreciate that.

• 12:32Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, no, she'd be she'd admit to that, and she's, of course, around for the in the 1960s. And we recently had, in June 20, July 20.

• 12:41Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  2009 was, of course, the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing. And so, always wanted to know what people were thinking and doing back then. And so, very much, I wanted to know that from Joan. Let's find out what she had to tell us.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Okay. I was at Fire Island, and I remember that we had a wonderful little house, my husband and I. And we had friends over, and I remember sitting and watching, as we all did, on television, watching them land on the moon. And then all those insane rumors started that they were, they didn't land on the moon. They did it in a, in New Jersey, in a, in a...

• 13:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  In a hangar?

• 13:12Speaker 04

  In a hangar, remember all that stupidity? And it was very exciting. And I remember that China, do you remember this? Came out and said, "We have our own space plant, and we will have," I remember this clearly, "a restaurant up on the moon in 2001." China made a big announcement, and Israel already made reservations.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  But I remember China saying that, "You think you're so smart. We will have a restaurant up on the moon in 25 years." And I thought, "Oh, just say how smart we are."

• 13:45Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, I have to say, but it would have no atmosphere.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  No, oh, oh.

• 13:50Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Am I allowed to crack a joke every now and then?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  You're allowed to try, baby. Um, so wait, I want to know, is that really true, what she was saying? Or was she joking about, did they say that, that it was, that the moon landing didn't really happen? Was that one of the rumors that happened at the day?

• 14:04Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, at the time, no. The moon rumors...

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I mean, were they saying it happened in Jersey later?

• 14:08Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  In a hangar in Jersey.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  No, were they saying that, though? Because lots of strange things happened like that then.

• 14:12Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, people, there are always people in denial of the advance of technology. But I, I've seen the moon hoax claimers to be more vocal in recent years than back at the time. Because at the time, there was the whole buildup. We had Gemini going into orbit, and every, all the steps were taken. So there was nothing happening out of the blue.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  All I remember is I wanted to watch Chastity Bono on Sunny and Cher. My mother said, "No."

• 14:34Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Because we were going on the moon?

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Because the moon is, she's like, "Look at that." And I was like, "Whatever." And I remember being in front of the TV and being annoyed.

• 14:40Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You so did not say "whatever." That came like, two decades later.

• 14:43Speaker 02

  I was little, I was little, I didn't say "whatever." I just was like, "Ugh." I was annoyed.

• 14:47Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're listening to StarTalk Radio. I'm your host, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. We're in our 13th show, reflecting on some of the shows that have come before. And Lynn, we've had more time with Joan Rivers.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Yes, if you missed out on the past 13 episodes, it's okay. We don't hate you. Today, you can get caught up so that the next 13 will be so exciting for you.

• 15:09Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, you can get caught up on, you can actually podcast us right off of iTunes, or directly hear the broadcast on StarTalkRadio.net. So, let's take our first break, and we'll be back with more from StarTalk Radio, and more of our interview with Joan Rivers.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  You have to wee-wee. You have to take a break. You have to go wee-wee.

• 15:27Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  No, I don't, but I don't have to, but doesn't mean I won't. All right, we'll see you in a moment.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Whether you're a space cadet, or a rocket scientist,

• 15:41Speaker 00

  we want to hear from you. The phone lines are open. Call now. This is StarTalk.

• 15:51Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We are back on StarTalk Radio. I'm your host, Neil deGrasse Tyson, with my co-host, comedienne Lynn Koplitz. Lynn, I have to say, you were awesome in getting time with Joan Rivers for this 13th program of ours.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Well, thank you. And you know what was really fun for me was, it's a very collaborative effort when we come up with what the shows are about, and our producers let us really join in. It was really fun, because I got to go back to some of the shows that I really loved, and that I thought were comically rich, that I thought Joan would really enjoy. And, you know, one of the best ones was Virgin Galactic.

• 16:30Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, space tourism. We had to bring that subject to her.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  We just had to, because I just, you know, I interviewed people on the street for that show, and just so people at home know what we're talking about, it was on space tourism, and Richard Branson has Virgin Galactic.

• 16:47Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  The aviation entrepreneur, Richard, billionaire.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's not going on the first voyage, but he's really pleased to take 200 grand from you to put you on it.

• 16:57Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Selling tickets to it.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, and... And everyone, I interviewed people on the street and, and a lot of seniors

• 17:04Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  were all for it. And a lot of the young people were like, heck no. And you yourself, Neil, said no. You were like, I'll try the fifth or sixth one.

• 17:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I, I'd heard too much about maiden voyages of ships.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  That's exactly, we've seen blimps blow up. No, thank you.

• 17:17Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I've seen those stories.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  So I wanted to know what Joan, at seventy-five years old, what her reaction would be.

• 17:22Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, let's find out.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Only if there was a first-class section.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  There isn't. JoJo, right now, there's no flight attendant, or meal included. Nope. And you can sit next to anyone.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Nope, nope.

• 17:35Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It might not even have a bathroom, because it's just a flight up and then back. It's just like, it's a suborbital and you come back.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  No, I definitely like first class. I like my own bathroom. I want to be given earplugs. I want to be given... No, I would not go.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Wouldn't you be angry if you didn't get a window seat? That was my whole thing.

• 17:53Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  For two hundred grand?

• 17:54Speaker 04

  For two hundred grand, I want a thing that you can sleep on.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Sleeper seat.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  And definitely a flight attendant.

• 18:00Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  For twenty grand, rubbing your feet.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Eight flight attendants? I want three gay men lined up.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  And she wasn't kidding. I mean, she was serious. I mean, because when this was over, she continued on about this topic.

• 18:15Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Joan is outrageous.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  She was absolutely disgusted. And, and so was I. If you remember when we did the show, if, if, people listening, if you go back and you, you go to our website and you go to that episode, you will laugh very hard, because it really was aggravating.

• 18:32Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, I can tell you that for her to ask for a sleeper couch, you're, you're paying to get the view of Earth, so she's not going to want to go to sleep.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Oh, but give me a break, Neil. It's like the view, it's like in, in the Vacation movie. Okay, seen it. Uh-uh. You know, how many, for five minutes, you see the view of Earth? Oh, that's really great.

• 18:49Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  If I pay two hundred grand, I'm going to stay awake the entire time.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  I just don't want people throwing up on me. I don't want, you know, stuff like that. And I don't know, if there's big celebrities up there, I'm also taking pictures of Val Kilmer looking at the view of Earth.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  But we also asked Joan about the Timothy Leary.

• 19:06Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, yeah, you know, there's this seems to be this trend, Timothy Leary among them, Clyde Tombaugh among them, the discoverer of Pluto. These are people who have requested and-

• 19:15Speaker 02

  I love that name drop. Go ahead, go ahead and, and, and drop Clyde Wabba.

• 19:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  He's dead, but what do you mean?

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, but because I dropped Joan Rivers.

• 19:24Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Okay, but I've never even met the guy, so I'm not dropping, I'm just mentioning a historical figure who discovered Pluto.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, baby. Clyde Tannenbaum, go on.

• 19:34Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Clyde Tannenbaum, Clyde Tombaugh, uh, among others, including, who's the guy who, who created Star Trek? Uh, Gene Roddenberry.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:42Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  All these folks have agreed to get their ashes launched into space. And Clyde Tombaugh's ashes are gonna pass by Pluto in five years, and Roddenberry's ashes went to the moon. And so, I, I think a question for Joan was, if we-

• 19:55Speaker 02

  I'm giggling because I know what she said.

• 19:57Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  If she, if she gets cremated, what should we do with her ashes?

• 20:02Speaker 02

  Or her dog's ashes.

• 20:04Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Should we send them into space or not? Let's see what she said.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  No, I'm gonna have my ashes thrown in my agent's face. So I know exactly where my, my ashes are going. But, um, I think it's, you have to do something with the ashes. But just if everybody was getting, uh, cremated and ta- we're gonna, we're ruining space as it is. I don't wanna have my ashes up there in space somewhere.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  You're right, it's kind of littering, isn't it?

• 20:28Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It's kinda, it's-

• 20:29Speaker 04

  You're seriously, as a scientist, what would that do if everybody starts cremating and throwing the ashes up into space?

• 20:36Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It creates more, there's a lot of space debris there already without people's ashes, but it would just add to it, that's all, add to the, add to the garbage dump.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Now, how many, how much garbage is there up there in space? At what point are we gonna say we have polluted space?

• 20:49Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We have because our satellites are up there cramming their spot in their orbit to try to, to get up there. It's, it's, it's a mess, and it's a deep concern going forward to, because they, we know all, the, the satellites have to have extra fuel to take themselves out of orbit to burn up. Otherwise, they just stay up there forever. And so, and they're running out of space to put satellites. That's what's going on now.

• 21:13Speaker 04

  So what happens if I wanted to put another satellite up? I would actually have to knock somebody else's out?

• 21:18Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yes, because all the satellite spots for communications satellites are all taken.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  It's like housing in Manhattan, like you're waiting for someone to die so you can get their apartment.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  Isn't she a great guest?

• 21:28Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  She's great.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  She just makes me smile every time I hear her voice. I adore her.

• 21:32Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You know, the first time I ever saw her was live. I didn't even know she existed. I was a little kid. It was back in the 1960s. And we got, one of my relatives arranged music for The Fifth Dimension. And they were on the Ed Sullivan Show in New York.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  How apropos is that now, given what you do?

• 21:50Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  What, The Fifth Dimension? Well, the Fifth, okay, yes, it was a, it was a performance group. But actually, Fifth Dimension, they, they were not, they've thought that one through, right? Did you know that, remember the four elements of ancient times, earth, air, fire, and water?

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:04Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Remember those? Not that you remember them, but you've read about them.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Earth, wind, and fire. That's the group I like.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Is that what you're talking about?

• 22:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Earth, no, no. Earth, air, now you're getting confused. Earth, air, fire, and water. All right, those are the four elements.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  No, it was earth, wind, and fire. Air got fired early on for being uppity and having too much to say.

• 22:24Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So, so what, you had, the Greeks had a fifth element. I don't know if you knew about this. There's a fifth. Not only those four, the fifth, in Greek, and it was, the fifth element was the essence of where the gods lived. The, it was the essence of, it was, it was the cosmos.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  So that's where the name of Fifth Dimension came from?

• 22:42Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, the, I don't know exactly, but I do know that if you want to think of a fifth thing, the fifth, the fifth essence is how the Greeks thought of it. And the word for that is quintessence.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 22:56Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Quintessence.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  I had them on eight-track.

• 22:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Had a group, too?

• 23:00Speaker 02

  No, I had Fifth Dimension on eight-track.

• 23:02Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, the Fifth Dimension, yes.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  And I used to listen to Won't You Marry Me, Bill?

• 23:05Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, yeah, Bill. Yeah, on the balloon.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  And, and Up, Up and Away.

• 23:09Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  And Aquarius. These were all very big tunes back then.

• 23:13Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Songs of a generation. Well, I saw The Fifth Dimension on the Ed Sullivan Show, and she was one of the acts that night.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  That's amazing.

• 23:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So I had to ask, I had to, I had to remind her of this, just in case. Let's see what she said.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  She was funny.

• 23:26Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You were on the Ed Sullivan Show and following the fifth dimension. And I came out and you signed my autograph book at the time. Do you remember that?

• 23:32Speaker 04

  No. But I remember the fifth dimension because they were adorable. And I have a picture of all of us. Ed Sullivan was live, and if you were on the second half, you got cut because people went longer on the first half than was supposed to. I have a picture of the fifth dimension and me all looking up, watching a clock, which is hilarious. Because we knew if somebody was going longer now, whoever was saying like 10 minutes, you were gonna get bumped. So I loved the fifth dimension. I loved their outfits.

• 24:03Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, that was of the day and of the moment.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:06Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So, so have you ever performed for scientists or anybody at NASA? Or just a geeky crowd?

• 24:12Speaker 04

  Yes, as a matter of fact, I was hired to do a Trekkie, a Trekkie convention and do my act. But it was in Miami, so there were mainly Shekkies, not Trekkies.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Isn't that like a Jewish Trekkie?

• 24:27Speaker 04

  A Shekkie is a Jewish Trekkie.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  I've been around you long enough now. I knew exactly what you were. I saw the look on Neil's face, like, what's a Shekkie? Because Neil is so, you know, he's a genius, genius level, so he immediately wants to know why he doesn't know.

• 24:40Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I didn't want to embarrass myself by wondering what a Shekkie was, but...

• 24:42Speaker 02

  See, finally, you feel like I normally feel.

• 24:45Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So how did that go?

• 24:46Speaker 04

  It went very well. They were adorable. Remember, anyone who's interested in space is smart. We know that. Everyone who's interested in space is smart. They're interested in something outside of the shell of people like me. All I care about is decorating my apartment. That's the only space I am interested in.

• 25:06Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That was Joan Rivers on StarTalk.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I adore her.

• 25:10Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah. So Lynn, how is it that you know Joan Rivers? I know comedians know some of each other, but for you to know Joan, how...

• 25:16Speaker 02

  I work on a TV show called Z-Rock on the IFC channel, and Joan plays my aunt.

• 25:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Independent film channel, channel.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  The independent film channels on Sunday nights, and Joan plays my aunt on the show.

• 25:25Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So you play relatives?

• 25:26Speaker 02

  Yes, and we had an instant chemistry, and she has been an amazing mentor the last two years. I'm really blessed to say that. And she's, and a good friend, and just wonderful. She's as generous in spirit. As she is with her jokes and her time and I mean she did this for us.

• 25:43Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  In the middle of a million things she was doing. She's but what I gotta have to point out is you know how her voice is so distinct?

• 25:49Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Mm hmm.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  She will leave me messages, especially when I have big things and she'll be like, "You're wonderful, you're brilliant, it's Joan Rivers." And I just burst into hysterical laughter because I'm always like, "I know it's you." Like, "Who else could it be?" Um, listen, one of the things that I wanted to ask Joan about too, because I, you know, going back over past shows, I was like, "Oh, I know she'll think she'll have something rich here," is um, we, we did a show on, well, we've done plenty of shows where we've addressed the topic of life on other planets.

• 26:21Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  And um, we actually had a caller on one show that I thought was hilarious. I even remember his name, Gary, and he was the guy that was in, he was in California and he said, "Am I all alone?" He was like British, "I'm all alone, out here by myself. I want to know if there's more people in the universe."

• 26:38Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Mm hmm.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  So we, we asked Joan about aliens in space visiting us and uh, you know, what she thought about that.

• 26:45Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  All right.

• 26:46Speaker 04

  Do you think that there is life out in outer space as we know life?

• 26:52Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That's a perfect question, excellent question, and if you look at how big the universe is and how common the chemistry is of life, we're made of ingredients that you find everywhere in the universe, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, it's the most common ingredients in the universe and the universe is vast and it's been around a long time. It would be inexcusably egocentric to suggest that life on Earth is alone in the cosmos.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  But we keep thinking the search is for intelligent life. What we might find is like pond scum. Like, at this point, we're dumbing it down.

• 27:21Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Slime, slime mode. Anything, any, any, so, so that's an interesting point. If, if we find life out there, it could be smarter than us. Or dumber, right? Do you have like a feeling about that? If they're smarter than us, you're worried they might treat us the way we treat, that would make us pets?

• 27:37Speaker 04

  Right, right. But I always wonder, the whole universe, it's something so incomprehensible to me. Because where does it stop? Where do you fall off? You know, and if it goes on forever, are there other planets that we could eventually connect with?

• 27:54Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Should we fear aliens coming to us, or should they fear us if we visit them?

• 27:57Speaker 04

  No, I think we should be terrified if they're coming to us. Terrified. I don't want to know about it. I don't have to make friends with them. I don't want to wear a dog collar. I'm not interested in them saying she used to be a funny person on Earth. But the way what would-

• 28:13Speaker 02

  You could end up a pet. You could end up a pet in someone's house.

• 28:18Speaker 04

  I could be a rescue pet.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  You could rescue a lot worse pets, I tell you what. She would be one heck of a rescue pet. Yes, this is hilarious.

• 28:29Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, part of this experiment of StarTalk is trying to explore science's pop culture and pop- and the comedic side of the universe.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  Have you noticed, though, every celebrity we've had on, one common thread? Peter Max said it last week, and Stephen Colbert has said it, and Joan just said it. Every celebrity, and I'm name dropping our celebrities, but every single one has said that they're all in awe of how big it is.

• 28:52Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Isn't that strange? She just said it again. She was like, "It's just awe inspiring and how big it is."

• 28:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I'd like to think that everybody, you don't have to be a celebrity to feel that way.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Don't you wish you had a quarter for every time you heard that, Neil?

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Had to be dirty. We're going on a break soon.

• 29:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, so, yeah, we will soon be having our summer break, but we wanted to get reflections on the previous episodes. By the way, you can listen to our previous episodes, they're being logged one week at a time, on, you can download them as podcasts from iTunes. And those of you who are from another planet and don't have iTunes, you can hear these episodes on StarTalkRadio.net.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Speaking of which, people might be here, living among us from another planet.

• 29:39Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You think they might be here-

• 29:40Speaker 02

  We actually talked to Joan about it.

• 29:41Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Masquerading, do you think? Is that, do you think they've already visited? You know, I've been to Times Square, and the many people I could have imagined would be-

• 29:48Speaker 02

  That naked cowboy, I'm pretty sure. Well, I actually asked Joan which people in Hollywood might be aliens.

• 29:53Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Really? Okay, let's find out.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  In the movie Men in Black, Dennis Rodman, who's your friend, right?

• 29:58Speaker 04

  My very good friend.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  is actually an alien in Men in Black.

• 30:01Speaker 04

  And in real life.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Well, that's my question. I want to know what other celebrities you think might be aliens.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  I think Tom Cruise for sure.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  Tom Cruise, well, they, but they believe in all that. Oh, Angelina Jolie with those stupid lips. Those are not human lips.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're right. She has a velociraptor kind of feel about it.

• 30:20Speaker 04

  There are many celebrities.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  I think John Travolta because he's either the Antichrist to me or an alien because I don't think your career could go from Vinnie Barbary into like Oscar winner without having some sort of

• 30:32Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Some kind of help.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, you've got some sort of pact with somebody.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  There's a pact with the devil. You can see that in his eyes. He has pointy ears.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Oh, we're making friends here on StarTalk. I'll tell you three celebrities that won't be on our show next.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise.

• 30:52Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Dennis Rodman.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Dennis Rodman. No, Dennis though is really, he's like really good friends with Melissa and Joan.

• 30:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  So that was all said with love. So we also talked about UFO sightings and abductions.

• 31:06Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, yeah, because I, every time you get someone famous, they're always talking about getting abducted and something I don't fully understand.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  It's just a way to blame everything. I think, didn't Anne Hayes do that? Didn't she tell everyone? The aliens dropped me and then I went in those people's backyard and went into their, their rec room and I had to have a Capri Sun after I'd been abducted by the aliens. They found her napping on their sofa, her and Margot Kidder. Blame it on the aliens. When in doubt, blame it on the aliens.

• 31:36Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, let's find out what Joan has to say about.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  I asked her if she'd ever seen a UFO.

• 31:40Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, you did? Okay, let's, let's see what she has.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  No, but I have a friend who is doing a documentary on us and she has interviewed so many really smart people who will not give out their names because they feel it will really hurt them by saying they have seen it. I have not seen it. A friend of mine in Connecticut. I saw them and they're very, she and the husband saw it in their car together. But I don't know, I never had anyone from Harvard or Yale ever come up and say, I've seen a UFO. It's always like two idiots with no teeth. You know, I saw it, I was, you know, I was skinning a rabbit and there it was.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Or they use it as some sort of excuse for something, I'm sorry I didn't come home. I was abducted by aliens and probed.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  But I also had another friend who's very smart, who, um, he, he does Alf, you remember Alf? The, the funny little comic.

• 32:35Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  The show, the TV show.

• 32:37Speaker 04

  TV show and the character. And he writes Alf. And he swears he was in his house at Malibu and he opened up his eyes and there was this thing hovering right outside his window and then woke his wife up, showed it to her, and then again it went away. So I know two people I respect that have seen them. And then a lot of people that are asses that I don't respect that have seen them.

• 32:58Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  But none of them are dragged to like an alien carcass in front of you to look at?

• 33:01Speaker 04

  No, but my cousin Sheila claims they abducted her from a Starbucks. And they took her towards, I think it was Venus, and they let her go because she kept saying, oh, are we there yet? Are we there yet?

• 33:16Speaker 02

  How, you know, it's not as surprising that they roasted her. I mean, it's surprising that they waited this long because look how quick she is. Like that was just on the top of her head.

• 33:25Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, not only that, Joan Rivers, I think, is famous for sort of getting on the case of so many other people. So I kind of view the roast as, you know, chicken coming home to roost, you know? Finally, everyone else gets a chance to talk about her situation, right?

• 33:38Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, but I thought she was the funniest one on the roast.

• 33:41Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, that's kind of.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  She, Melissa, her daughter too. Her daughter was hilarious.

• 33:44Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  She's, she's the, she's the comedy icon. I mean, that's what, what that is.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Except for I did enjoy, um, what's his name from the Dick Van Dyke show? Um, oh my gosh, what his name just went out of my head. The, the famous, uh, older guy who created, Carl Reiner.

• 34:02Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  And he just kept cursing because he never got to do that. So he just kept saying like MF and all this like.

• 34:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Getting it out of his system.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  It was the funniest thing I've ever seen is he had 87 year old man just going, oh, C word. And he just was, just kept cursing. It was really, it was hilarious. But, um, back to Joan.

• 34:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah. So I, I just, first of all, I think many people have thought about the universe. And I think the more you learn about the universe, the more informed your thoughts can be. And from what I hear from Joan, you can't be as comedic as she is unless she's actually thought deeply about all these subjects. So I'm very, I'm impressed with her intelligence and her, her background and where she, where she wants to take all this.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  The thing about, about comics, especially comics like myself and Joan, do you love that I just put myself in the same category as her?

• 34:46Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  In the same sentence.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, but the, the thing is, you know, we're cultural anthropologists, really. We're just kind of reporters of the truth.

• 34:53Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I agree.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  We just go out there and dig it up and bring it back and we bring it back raw and we just let you do with it what you will. And, um, and I've definitely learned this from working with you the last couple of months, Neil, and, and I love it. Is that I'm starting to see that I'm smarter than I thought I was when it comes to, um, anything. Because, because we really, we really do have to think a lot and, and, you know, and you brought that up with Joan.

• 35:18Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, comedians are observers of.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  She's a smart lady.

• 35:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Culture and science is, I think, when it's the, the material for comedians, I, I'm charmed and tickled to realize that it can be of comedic substance. I mean, I, I, no, we asked Joan, uh, I was curious what her educational background is because no one ever asks that of a comic.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  No one cares. They're like, just dance monkey, dance. But she's a very smart woman, very smart businesswoman and very smart, you know, Joan is that rare breed of book smart and common sense smart.

• 35:51Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And then you can, you can, you can turn that into a fortune. I, I asked her, what, what science did she study? Let's find out.

• 35:57Speaker 04

  I loved biology. I was very good in biology. I was very good in geometry. I was a terrific geometry student because it's very logical and I like the logic of it.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Have you used geometry? You said you majored in geometry? Did you use geometry?

• 36:10Speaker 04

  No, I've, I've never used geometry. I just loved it because it made, I love things that make sense and you can control. And geometry is a very controllable science.

• 36:19Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, okay, since so is hu- so is humor and comedy, right? So do you, do you, you come-

• 36:24Speaker 04

  No, no, comedy is not controllable, because you can think something is very funny, and, uh, nobody else does. You don't control an audience, you could never control an audience. But, uh, geometry, yes, you can control this to that equals this. It's controllable, and that's it, and you can't change it, and I can't change it, and that's it. Comedy, you have some idiot in the front row that can ruin your whole show. So there's nothing to do with it.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  Now, Neil was talking, Neil's always asking me if there's a formula to joke writing. And my type of joke writing, there's no formula. I'm just kinda, I don't work that hard.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  You can't, there's no formula.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  No, I don't think so either.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  And the strangest things they think are funny. You know, you'll write and work on something you think is hilarious, and it isn't, and then you'll say, "Bluh, bluh," and they'll go, "Ah!" And you go, "That's funny? Okay, that stays in the act."

• 37:15Speaker 02

  I always have them laugh at the setup. Like, I'll set up a joke, and they'll laugh and laugh, and I'm like, "Really? I haven't even gotten there yet. I don't understand why we're laughing."

• 37:23Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Okay, so we conclude that comedy is not geometry?

• 37:26Speaker 04

  It's not, it's not geometry, it is not, it is not a science. Comedy is, there is no such thing as a science of comedy. And people that try to teach it, I feel, are so cruel. So if anyone is listening out there, if you've got any kind of a logical mind, don't take a course in comedy.

• 37:46Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Lessons for the, for the, for those in school. You know, the, Lynn, what I find interesting is, first, she's proud of her science background. That, I think that's great. And not enough people are. I think they viewed science as something they weren't good at, or, "I don't like math." And they're, and they're proud of it, and other people, like, band behind them and agree and chuckle. And I don't run around saying, "Oh, I was never good at nouns and verbs," and chuckle with other people about this. You know, so I think we should view all of this as just part of what we should all know about the world that we live in.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Well, you know, we, we did a show on space spinoffs-

• 38:19Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  And on practical applications of science. And I think this is like getting to the core of it now with our, some of our recent celebrity guests. Peter Max said it last week and when we got back, you kind of gave me that look like, wow, it's so cool that science influenced him so much.

• 38:35Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  And I know you're such a huge fan of comedy and I'm sure this has got to be exciting to you, to hear a legend like Joan Rivers talk about how science influences her a lot.

• 38:45Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, and I know, I mean, I know many scientists who love art and love music and so I just, it's, it's, it's very, I think you can't be a complete person without all sides of you stoked and fed and fulfilled.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  Well, and now with, again, with the Space Spinoff Show, with all the applications that come on your, on your computer and your iPhone and I, it's just silly to say that our lives aren't touched by science and that, you know, that, that science can't be an interesting sexy topic.

• 39:14Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  This is our last show before we go on summer break and it's our 13th show. We've been reflecting on some of the past shows and in the meantime, bringing you our interview with Joan Rivers, a buddy of Lynn Copeland.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  And now yours.

• 39:27Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  My co-host here. And yeah, I don't know if I can count her as a buddy, we're an acquaintance, but her dogs were like licking me the whole time, so I feel like I'm better friends with the dog than, than.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Maybe he just tasted like bacon. I think we had hot dogs or something before that.

• 39:40Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're listening to StarTalk Radio and you can download all of our past episodes on startalkradio.net or podcast them off of iTunes. It's a portal of Discover Magazine, by the way. They've taken an interest in what we've been up to. We're coming, we're coming up on a break, but you have something to say right before then?

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were breaking it.

• 39:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  I thought we were going to talk about Stephen Colbert.

• 40:01Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, let's do that. Let's slip, let's.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Because what I wanted to talk about was, remember when Stephen Colbert was on the show, we asked, you asked him a great question that I love about, about, about science and where did he feel we should be by now?

• 40:14Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  And he was frustrated because he said he thought he would have his own robot and flying cars. So we asked Joan the same thing.

• 40:21Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  What she wanted for, for, out of science by now.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, what she, what she expected.

• 40:26Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Okay, let's see what she said.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  My cousin married a woman who was at Harvard who worked on making spaceships edible because if anybody got, worked on this the day she died in a program at Harvard. Because if they went up and they got stuck in space, it would take them like eight or 10 years to get somebody else up there to bring them back. So she, I would say, how are you Shirley? And she'd say, we made the most delicious split pea desk.

• 40:56Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That's nasty.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  It's true. It's really true. Really.

• 41:02Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It makes sense, though, when you think about it, because...

• 41:04Speaker 04

  If they're stuck up there and they say, Lynn, we can't, we're starting right now, Lynn, to figure out how to get you down. We'll be up there in 2014. What are you gonna do? You're gonna start eating your spaceship.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  That's what I was gonna say is, first of all, I would lose weight before I went up, because I would not want people looking at me with a bottle of A1 going, oh, she's got the big booty. We start with her. We finish with that little one over there. This is the one we start with.

• 41:31Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That was me and Lynn in the library of Joan Rivers, telling us, just telling us like it is.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Edible spacecraft, that's not a bad idea.

• 41:41Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We're gonna take a break. You've been listening to StarTalk Radio. You can find us on the internet at startalkradio.net. We'll be back in a moment.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  Bringing space and science down to earth. You're listening to StarTalk.

• 42:00Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We're back on StarTalk. I'm your host, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, with my lovely co-host, Lynn Coplitz, actress and comedian.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 42:10Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And what Lynn did for us on this 13th episode of StarTalk, before we go on summer hiatus, is she's buddies with Joan Rivers and...

• 42:20Speaker 02

  It's what Joan did for us, because, I mean, I called her and asked her, and she said, yeah, which was very nice of her.

• 42:25Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Because the value here is, part of our goal, pitting you with me and back and forth, is to try to see if the universe, is there something funny about the universe that we can sort of celebrate? And to get Joan to share with her some of our past episodes, just to see how she reacts.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  We're making science sexy, Neil. We said in one of the earlier shows that we need to give it a makeover, and we are. We're introducing science to pop culture. We put them on a date. We put them on a date for 13 weeks, and it was an eHarmony. I think it was a huge success. It was a huge success. It was a love connection.

• 43:03Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  All the way.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Science and the real world got together and they made a baby called Neil and Lynn. They made a StarTalk baby. Oh, I'll take it. That works. I think that's what happened. I like it. Alright. We didn't know if they would get together or not. Okay. It was a little awkward, maybe the first show, and then all of a sudden, and now, it's just bow, ticky bow, bow, now they're hot and heavy.

• 43:25Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  One of our first shows, one of our earliest shows, was to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Galileo and the telescope.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Speaking of sexy.

• 43:33Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I always want to know.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  You know I love Galileo. He brought sexy back.

• 43:37Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I always want to know if somebody owns a telescope and what people's reactions are to them. So, I asked that of Joan. Let's see what she says. We did a whole show on telescopes. That was in fact our opening show. Yeah, so, because it was the anniversary of Galileo, 400th anniversary of Galileo and his telescope.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  I dated him.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  The telescope was, he had it very small, you know what, and so he made it small.

• 44:01Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It was small.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  It was an extension. You know how men...

• 44:05Speaker 02

  The bigger the telescope, the smaller the...

• 44:07Speaker 04

  Yes. The bigger the telescope.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  Our listening crowd are right now peeling Spock ears back, getting so angry. We're not going to watch that, Rose. How dare she?

• 44:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So, did you ever own a telescope?

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Yes. As a matter of fact, I have one. I have a country house and I have views of the mountains and I love to look at them. I own a telescope. Also, again, it's a great decorating prop.

• 44:34Speaker 02

  When you say you love, you look at the, you love to look at them, you love to look at the sky or you love the mountains, not the other neighbors?

• 44:40Speaker 04

  No, no, I like to look at the mountains in the fall because it's pretty. I don't care what the, no. But I think it's, I think it's wonderful. I love the heavens. I think they're very beautiful. I can't even find the stupid Milky Way, though. I'm not very good.

• 44:53Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, not from New York, you're not going to find. Milky Way, you got to be like in the boonies for that.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  I feel better than, because I can't find the North Star. If I was stuck in a boat, I'd be screwed.

• 45:01Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  No, they'll give you GPS and then you're good.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:09Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  What she, you know, so she's, I think she's an affirmation of this experiment that we, that we've conducted, because this wouldn't have worked with her, but it's working famously.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  What else did we ask her?

• 45:19Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Ask her some other funny stuff.

• 45:21Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Well, I, what I want to know, you know, about the planets, you know, how does she feel about the planets? This hit a lot of people very personally.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  And she didn't know about you.

• 45:30Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  What? Oh, because I had, no, well, Pluto had it coming, first of all, let's like, set that up straight, alright, so I want to find out whether she had any strong feelings about the planets, let's see what she said.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  And I wanted to go to them.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  Venus, Earth, Mars, now I'm getting...

• 45:47Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're good so far? That's four for four.

• 45:50Speaker 04

  Uh, Uranus.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  Saturn, Pluto.

• 45:56Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Pluto got demoted, but we'll give you one.

• 45:58Speaker 04

  Oh, don't do that.

• 45:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I will.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Pluto will...

• 46:01Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Pluto had it coming.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  Be a planet.

• 46:03Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Pluto had it coming.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  Ha, no, Pluto is a planet.

• 46:06Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  It had it coming.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  It's toward that ethical culture school, and it's staying a [BLEEP] planet.

• 46:10Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're sticking with it.

• 46:13Speaker 04

  It's a planet. Pluto, and then who's on the, where, and then out here is Jupiter.

• 46:20Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, you got Jupiter, and did you say Saturn yet? Did you say Saturn?

• 46:23Speaker 04

  I said Saturn before.

• 46:23Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I think you got them all. You got them all.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  Did I get them all?

• 46:26Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  That's because, my grandson that we made, uh, we've also made a thing that goes around a mobile, mobile.

• 46:33Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You're hooking him up, he's gonna be your next astrophysicist.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Well, kids love that, and they should know where we are in the, in the universe, and they should know about Earth, and they should know about how we're ruling our planet. I think it's all very important to make them aware.

• 46:48Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So she, she actually did, she left out Neptune.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  The only way she, the only reason she got Uranus was because I, I, I pointed to my butt.

• 46:54Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I did notice that at the time, because she was, you kept pointing to your butt, I said, why is Lynn pointing to her butt? This is like comedian, comedian...

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Joan looked right at me and went, Uranus!

• 47:03Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Comedian code.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  But it's not really, you don't say Uranus. How do you say it?

• 47:08Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Uranus.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Uranus.

• 47:10Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Now, now, we gotta ask everybody, how's the world gonna end? What would they do if they learned that the world was gonna come to an end? And I, we had to say, Joan, you know she'd have something to say about that.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Oh, she's got a plan.

• 47:21Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Let's find out.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Now, let me ask, was Saturn the one that got hit?

• 47:24Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Oh, Jupiter got hit.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  Jupiter got hit. God, that really upset me.

• 47:28Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Jupiter got slammed by a comet, and Jupiter has the biggest gravity in the solar system, so it was kinda asking for it. But it's a shot across our bow, cuz we've got these things that could hit Earth.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:37Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And we always wonder, if you know we're gonna get hit tomorrow, and that's the end of civilization, what would you do today?

• 47:42Speaker 04

  Eat Italian food.

• 47:46Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  That's it? No, no, no.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  No men, no sex, no nothing. If I knew tomorrow we were gonna be killed and demolished, I would go in and eat fettuccine. That would be it for me.

• 48:00Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So not even men? Men are not doing it for you anymore, huh?

• 48:03Speaker 04

  Oh, no, men are doing it for me. Fettuccine does it more. I would have fettuccine, and I'd probably have french fried onion rings. I would, they'd come and get me.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  See, but you know what? Joan, we can get that right now, and you can scratch that off your bucket list.

• 48:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, but then you'd get fat. I would like to know...

• 48:22Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  You'd be fat and dead, and it wouldn't matter.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  I would like to know a week before it happened. I wouldn't even tell anybody. I would just go in and start eating.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  You know, I like that, but I would do that now. So for me, if I knew I only had a week, I think I would start open-handed slapping people.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  Wouldn't that be great?

• 48:40Speaker 02

  Just open-handed slapping, like in the middle of the drugstore. The minute the girl's like, "We don't have those batteries," smack!

• 48:46Speaker 04

  I was in dinner, and I had a friend, and he's a very elegant gentleman, very English, very distinguished, and he said to me, "Look around this restaurant, there are at least ten faces here I'd like to slap."

• 48:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So that's why we need the comet, so that people that deserve getting slapped, they get slapped.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  It's a good idea to slap people. You get out of the taxi cab, I need a tip. Really, come closer.

• 49:10Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  I never thought this is what you would do when the asteroid comes.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  Oh, I love when Joan sounds excited by things you say. She got so excited. Did you hear?

• 49:18Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And we asked her one last question. It was, what did she want to see happen in her lifetime scientifically? What kind of discovery? What? Just in her lifetime. I don't know how many more years she's got. What does she tell us?

• 49:30Speaker 04

  That Bernie Madoff gets out of jail, calls me up and tells me where the $62 billion are.

• 49:37Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Then you can die.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  After Bernie and I spend it all.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  He'd be a good one to slap.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  What would I like to see?

• 49:47Speaker 04

  I would like to see the planet cleaned up. I think it's, we're being very serious for a second. I shouldn't be. But I think it's a disgrace what we are doing to our atmosphere. It's a disgrace what we are doing to our planet. And I think we better clean ourselves up. And also, I'd like to, I'd like to live until they can tell me nothing is going to fly in from outer space and destroy us. That is very scary when they say a meteorite may come down, may kill you. And that's terrible. It just makes me want to charge up more on my Amex card.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  That's so funny. I have the same way. Can you tell me exactly when it's going to hit?

• 50:25Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Wait, wait. Actually, so it's not the day we'll tell you it'll never hit. It's the day we tell you that if it's headed towards us, we can do something about it.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. Yes. I just want to know. Science, I think, wastes so much time on stupid things. And I think we should clean up the universe, clean up the space. And don't worry about going out into space. They'll come and find us.

• 50:46Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  So Joan, any parting thoughts for the StarTalk audience?

• 50:49Speaker 04

  Just that I think how wonderful it would be if there were something out there and if they were all single and Jewish.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  I think Joan and Al Gore need to pair up.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Because she's clearly green and wants to...

• 51:05Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yes, there's a big green dimension to her. I would not have expected that.

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Well, we're gonna take a little summer break.

• 51:11Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  A summer break. This is our 13th episode of StarTalk Radio.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  But we encourage people to listen to us on our website.

• 51:18Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yeah, you come to iTunes and there'll be added a show per week. There's a little time delay from the live broadcast, of course, but you'll get them and you'll get them each week.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Get caught up, people. I don't want you not knowing what we're talking about next time.

• 51:30Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  And of course, it's StarTalkRadio.net. And in fact, we're tweetable at @StarTalkRadio.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  And we will be looking at your questions over... even on a break, we will still be...

• 51:40Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yes, we will be monitoring...

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Because of science, we can keep working. Thank you.

• 51:44Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  Yes, it is. And I've been your host, Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'm an astrophysicist, and I also serve as the director of New York City's Hayden Planetarium. And Lynn Koplitz, you're not only a stand-up comedian, you're an actress on...

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Z-Rock, on IFC Channel.

• 51:59Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  On Sunday nights. So, check that out. This is StarTalk Radio, funded by the National Science Foundation. We'll see you next time.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  I'll miss you, Neil.

• 52:08Neil deGrasse Tyson?

  We'll miss you. Keep looking up.