Pod Insights So True with Caleb Hearon Marie Faustin Wants a Free Couch About this episode Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Marie Faustin! Marie and Caleb talk Sinners, the height of men, the concept of renderings, Denzel Washington, and much more!
Join our Patreon for an exclusive post-episode chat with Marie and other bonus content! https://patreon.com/SoTruePodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
Follow Marie! @reeezy
Follow the show! @sooootruepod
Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings
Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud
Book now at Booking.com !
Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to www.rocketmoney.com/SOTRUE today.
Warby Parker has over 270 locations to help you find your next pair of glasses. You can also head over to www.warbyparker.com/SOTRUE right now to try on any pair virtually!
Get up to 55% off at www. Babbel.com/SOTRUE. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash SOTRUE.
About Headgum:
Headgum is an LA & NY-based podcast network creating premium podcasts with the funniest, most engaging voices in comedy to achieve one goal: Making our audience and ourselves laugh. Listen to our shows at https://www.headgum.com.
» SUBSCRIBE to Headgum: https://www.youtube.com/c/HeadGum?sub_confirmation=1
» FOLLOW us on Twitter: http://twitter.com/headgum
» FOLLOW us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/headgum/
» FOLLOW us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum
So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan and Executive Producer Emma Foley. So True is engineered by Casey Donahue and engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript 17,240 words · 6 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
0:29 Speaker 01 Visible puts the ultimate wireless hack in the palm of your hand. With unlimited 5G wireless data and hotspot, designed to keep you connected, powered by Verizon's 5G network. And no contract holding you back. Plans start at $25 a month or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code HACK. Make the switch at visible.com. Terms apply. See visible.com for details.
1:00 Speaker 02 When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall Lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.
1:31 Speaker 03 This is a HeadGum Podcast.
1:34 Speaker 03 But a tall guy is not gonna be smart.
1:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:37 Speaker 03 The air is thinner up there.
1:39 Speaker 04 He's got God in his ear. Yeah, he's up there, close to heaven.
1:41 Speaker 03 The air is thin, he can't spell. The text is gonna be crazy.
1:49 Speaker 04 Marie?
1:50 Speaker 03 Caleb.
1:51 Speaker 04 What's going on? I've been trying to get you on this show forever.
1:54 Speaker 03 I know.
1:54 Speaker 04 I've been dying to do it.
1:55 Speaker 03 Obsessed.
1:56 Speaker 04 You've been, I'm obsessed with you. You've been away. Well, we got to hang out because you and Sydney came and did my DC show.
2:02 Speaker 03 Oh, DC was so fun.
2:03 Speaker 04 That was a blast.
2:04 Speaker 03 Can you believe?
2:05 Speaker 04 Two shows.
2:05 Speaker 03 There was a rotisserie chicken debacle that I'll never forget.
2:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, what was it?
2:10 Speaker 03 They didn't have one.
2:11 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:13 Speaker 03 Or they had one, but it was cold?
2:15 Speaker 04 I think it was that, maybe. I think it was that. Cause did you want some?
2:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, but not if it's cold.
2:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, see, that's the thing is we put the rotisserie chicken in the rider and we say, please have rotisserie chicken there. Here's what I'll tell you. The venue in San Diego, shout out to the Balboa in San Diego. They are the only venue. Some places brought it hot from the store. Some places had it clearly in a refrigerator for a day, which is so insane.
2:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:37 Speaker 04 Balboa, they cut it up the way that a chicken's supposed to be cut properly and put it in a dish with a burner underneath it. So that when we got there, it was hot, cut, fresh, ready. That's service.
2:48 Speaker 03 Well, I feel like that's the craziest thing about a rotisserie chicken, cutting it.
2:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:53 Speaker 03 Cause I'll rip a leg or a wing off and maybe like slice like the juicy part of the breast. But then the rest of it, I don't want.
3:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
3:01 Speaker 03 How do you cut it?
3:02 Speaker 04 You're just ripping through it with your hands, really.
3:05 Speaker 03 So now I got meat under my fingers.
3:07 Speaker 04 Kinda.
3:08 Speaker 03 And all rotisserie chicken is not created equal.
3:10 Speaker 04 No.
3:10 Speaker 03 Some of it is not seasoned.
3:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
3:13 Speaker 03 I thought rotisserie meant seasoned and then they spin it.
3:16 Speaker 04 No, sometimes they really just spin it on there. Well, Mexican, Mexican people do really good rotisserie chicken.
3:22 Speaker 03 Well, Mexican people know what seasoning is.
3:23 Speaker 04 Exactly correct. They season that shit out of the, Houston, they brought us, cause uh, there's a Mexican joint in Kansas City that does this too. But uh, they do like Mexican uh, seasoned rotisserie chicken and then they serve it too with like pickled vegetables and tortillas. Houston, they brought us a rotisserie chicken and some tortillas that were.
3:38 Speaker 03 Okay, what I'm hearing is I need to go to Houston.
3:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
3:41 Speaker 03 And eat rotisserie chicken.
3:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, you need to go, what, where did we play in Houston? I forget what the venue is called. You need to play that venue.
3:47 Speaker 03 Baby, you doing theaters, okay? I'm not going to Houston and a hundred people show up and it's a, I don't know, 2,000 seat, no, thank you.
3:56 Speaker 04 You could still request that chicken though. Wherever you're, wherever you're going in Houston, request that chicken, cause it's good stuff.
4:01 Speaker 03 I think based on how many tickets you sell, you should be allowed to ask for things like that.
4:05 Speaker 04 I don't even ask for that much. One rotisserie chicken and some hint of lime tortilla chips is not a big writer.
4:09 Speaker 03 That's it? That's two things?
4:10 Speaker 04 I asked for hint of lime tortilla chips, Dr. Pepper, salsa.
4:16 Speaker 04 And rotisserie chicken.
4:17 Speaker 03 That's it.
4:17 Speaker 04 That's, there's some like additional stuff on there for everyone else, but that's my ask.
4:20 Speaker 03 We, we wanna know everything on the rider. That's it. It's four things.
4:23 Speaker 04 There's chomps, there's Dove's chocolates, Chance always asks for whiskey, I think Virginia asks for rosé. Like, other people put stuff on, but all I need when I get there, Dr. Pepper, salsa, hint of lime tortillas, rotisserie chicken.
4:34 Speaker 03 I didn't even know you could ask for rotisserie chicken. Let me tell you what's on my rider.
4:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:38 Speaker 03 Um, Welch's fruit snacks.
4:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, let's go.
4:40 Speaker 03 Pringles.
4:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:41 Speaker 03 Rosé.
4:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:42 Speaker 03 Uh, grapes, bananas, strawberries. That's it.
4:46 Speaker 04 Oh, do you know what? Virginia started asking for rosé because of you and Sydney.
4:49 Speaker 03 Oh.
4:50 Speaker 04 She was, she was like, I'm influenced.
4:52 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah.
4:52 Speaker 04 Yeah.
4:53 Speaker 03 You know what? I am an influencer, so I know that for me.
4:56 Speaker 04 She literally left, she, Virginia's obsessed with you both, and she left the DC shows being like, "Those are like my two favorite people. Like, I need to start ordering rosé." Like, she literally was like, "I need to be like those girls."
5:06 Speaker 03 Mind you, Sydney is sober. The rosé was just for me.
5:08 Speaker 04 Was you. Mind you, she's like, she's like, in their green room, they had rosé. I need that. That's huge. That's absolutely massive.
5:14 Speaker 03 Well, see, rosé and rotisserie chicken, that's the new rider.
5:17 Speaker 04 That's big. Well, I started doing rotisserie chicken because of Stavi.
5:20 Speaker 03 Okay.
5:21 Speaker 04 Stavi told me this.
5:22 Speaker 03 You see, this is how you learn things.
5:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, people tell you.
5:27 Speaker 03 You talk to people, you sneak into their green room, you steal something.
5:30 Speaker 04 You know what? Stavi, I've, I've done this phone call more than once, but I will straight up call people and say, "How much money did you make on that?" Cause I get, someone makes me a similar offer, I call people and say, "What money did you get paid for this? Are they lowballing me?"
5:42 Speaker 03 Okay, please expect me to call you.
5:44 Speaker 04 Call me!
5:45 Speaker 03 In the fall, when my money is up.
5:48 Speaker 04 I'm tell, I, well, oh yeah, I wanted to, I'm, here's what I'm telling you. Anybody, anybody who's friends with me, you, anybody, any one of our friends, if you called me and said, "How much did you make on this?", I would flat out tell you the exact number. Cause I, that's what they, I think sometimes when people are offering you stuff, like, they're counting on us not talking because it's like supposed to be this shameful thing, but I'm like, "No, you don't have to tell me, but I'm gonna ask."
6:08 Speaker 03 A couple of years ago, and this has nothing to do with you, because...
6:13 Speaker 03 Couple of years ago, someone in the industry started a black people group, um, Google Doc.
6:21 Speaker 04 Oh, I'm in there, yeah.
6:24 Speaker 04 I snuck my way in, yeah.
6:25 Speaker 03 Right, right, right, right. I thought I saw you in there, right underneath.
6:29 Speaker 04 I went in and created an allies tab. I put my, only my name in there.
6:34 Speaker 03 So, and it was like, and it wasn't like people's names specifically, but it was like all these different jobs in the industry and how long they had been working and what they were getting paid and like rates for stuff. I gotta find that.
6:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
6:47 Speaker 03 I don't know where that is, but it's helpful because people don't talk. And they count on you not knowing how much somebody else got paid. But if you're being transparent, then it's easier for somebody else to be like, I know you have more money. Give me more.
6:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, and it's like, it's also like, we all, anybody who does this kind of work, like, you know, TV writing jobs or acting gigs or venues or brand deals, all that kind of stuff. We all understand, like, I'm somebody who's embarrassed about making money because I grew up poor. And, but I understand that we all understand that like, the number you see on the paper is not what you're getting, not even close.
7:22 Speaker 03 No.
7:23 Speaker 04 After you pay everybody and all that kind of stuff. So I think, yeah, removing some of the shame and just being like, yeah, this is what I got. It went to a myriad of other things. I maybe got a tiny little chunk of it to actually spend, but like, this is the number. I think that's, that's good.
7:34 Speaker 03 Also, they always have more money.
7:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:37 Speaker 03 Whenever you get a contract, whenever you get an offer from a company or a business or a brand, they give you what number is ideal for them.
7:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
7:46 Speaker 03 So I always ask for more. Even before I had a lawyer, I was like, double it, triple it.
7:51 Speaker 04 More, now more.
7:52 Speaker 03 More, more, more, more. And, uh, you know, it's working out great for me, so.
7:58 Speaker 04 Did you see Centers?
7:59 Speaker 03 I did see Centers. Did you see Centers?
8:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:02 Speaker 03 Interesting.
8:02 Speaker 04 The scene where, interesting.
8:04 Speaker 03 Interesting.
8:05 Speaker 04 The scene where he teaches, uh, the little girl how to negotiate.
8:08 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The girl in the truck.
8:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, no spoilers. But if you haven't seen it, you trash.
8:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, get out there. It's like, that was one of those ones that you knew you had to, you had to get going.
8:18 Speaker 03 I didn't know what the movie was about.
8:19 Speaker 04 Mm-mm.
8:20 Speaker 03 I didn't know what I was walking into. I didn't see no trailers. My, the person I went to see it with was white, so I was like, this feels wrong.
8:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
8:27 Speaker 03 But, uh, I think he paid. So actually. Support black business.
8:32 Speaker 04 And that's correct, yeah.
8:33 Speaker 03 Right, but we went to like, we were in like the recliner seats. So I'm laying flat. And so the movie starts and I'm like, slaves?
8:44 Speaker 03 I'm like, why is this cotton field that we passing over for mad long? And then it continues and I'm like, twins?
8:53 Speaker 03 I do nothing. Vampires, I do nothing, but I enjoyed it.
8:57 Speaker 04 Were you, was this verb, were you giving this out loud? Were you giving the commentary for the people?
9:01 Speaker 03 A little bit.
9:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:02 Speaker 03 Every other word I screamed.
9:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, oh, I started, when it started getting scary, I was just, I was, I was yelling out loud. I was like, you're fucking kidding me. I was like, do not walk over there.
9:11 Speaker 03 When the lady was.
9:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
9:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, I'm gonna spoil, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm spoiling one thing, cuz I wanna say this. So if you don't wanna hear a center spoiler, tune out for the next forty-five seconds to a minute. It was tough for me when the evil vampire racist white people started playing that banjo music. And it was supposed to be scary, cuz I was like, I started tapping my foot.
9:40 Speaker 03 That's the center's touch.
9:41 Speaker 04 I said, I like songs like that. I said, oh, no.
9:44 Speaker 03 You said.
9:46 Speaker 04 I was like, damn, they're on to something there. Yeah, I really liked it, it felt like home.
9:49 Speaker 03 They're playing the devil's music and you were like.
9:54 Speaker 04 It was tough, they were like, look at these racist white vampires. I was like, the song is catchy, I'm having a good time. I wanted to dance bad.
10:01 Speaker 03 LOL.
10:02 Speaker 04 That was tough.
10:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, I saw it in mixed company. So there was like, there was like, like, black people all around and it was white people kinda scattered about. And so it was, it wasn't a quiet viewing experience. And I think that's what movies should be, a little bit loud.
10:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:16 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:17 Speaker 04 Well, I grew up in a real small town in Missouri. Okay, so my movie-going experience was always very like, quiet, boring, like, country white folks, okay?
10:27 Speaker 03 Sinners.
10:28 Speaker 04 Uh, sinners. I, when I was like, seven, sixteen or seventeen, Kevin Hart had put out a special that was like, it was, uh, they were playing it at AMCs. And I was like, oh, my god, they're not playing this in my town. I want to go see this, so me and my friends drove up to Kansas City to go to an AMC that had like the recliner seats. Cause back then that was still kind of like a bougie like luxury.
10:48 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, lay flat?
10:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:50 Speaker 03 I'm on my back watching a movie like this?
10:52 Speaker 04 You remember the first time you saw one of those and you were like, whoa?
10:54 Speaker 03 I I was so focused on the chair. I don't even know what movie I saw.
10:57 Speaker 04 Yeah. Well, I know what I saw. I saw the Kevin Hart special. And we were the, there, it was a sold out theater.
11:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:03 Speaker 04 We were the only three white people in the room.
11:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:06 Speaker 04 And I, the first time that he told a joke, like the, the punchline, and everyone started like jumping out of their seats and screaming. I was like, I literally was like, I thought something had occurred.
11:19 Speaker 04 I was like, I'm learning something today. Like, I didn't know you could have fun at movies.
11:23 Speaker 03 You are evolving.
11:24 Speaker 04 Yeah, I said, whoa.
11:25 Speaker 03 Did you take that back to your small town?
11:26 Speaker 04 Hell no. What I started doing was driving to the city every time I want to see a movie.
11:33 Speaker 03 It just makes it better. Plus, you're watching a stand up movie.
11:36 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:36 Speaker 03 Stand up.
11:37 Speaker 04 Yeah, stand up, scream, you know. Well, and I also had never seen a stand up special in a, a space. Like, we always watch those, we stream those at home.
11:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:46 Speaker 04 Like, I hadn't like gone and seen a stand up special at a theater.
11:49 Speaker 03 I don't think I've ever done that.
11:51 Speaker 04 I don't know. I, I have never seen it. I'm sure that someone's done it since, but like, I specifically remember being like, whoa, I didn't even know you could do that.
11:59 Speaker 03 Some people do their specials like that.
12:01 Speaker 04 What do you mean?
12:01 Speaker 03 Like, people have like their special premiere days at like event spaces with little theaters and we watch them like that.
12:09 Speaker 04 Yeah?
12:10 Speaker 03 Yeah. Are you gonna do that for yours?
12:11 Speaker 04 I don't know.
12:12 Speaker 03 Hmm.
12:13 Speaker 04 I might have to cut this. I don't think I'm allowed to talk.
12:16 Speaker 03 LOL, whoops.
12:17 Speaker 04 Whoops.
12:17 Speaker 03 Anyway.
12:18 Speaker 04 You know, moving on. Um, yeah, I think that would be fun. I've only ever been to special release parties where they like kind of half-heartedly play it at a bar.
12:26 Speaker 03 Nah, Rosebud Baker did hers at like, I want to say Soho House or something like that. And they had, we were in the screening room and it was, and they gave popcorn and, you know, candy and people's teeth fell out. It was great. We had a good time.
12:38 Speaker 04 That would stress me out.
12:39 Speaker 03 Would it?
12:40 Speaker 04 I don't like watching people watch me.
12:42 Speaker 03 Oh.
12:42 Speaker 04 Was she in there?
12:43 Speaker 03 I don't like watching people watch me either.
12:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:45 Speaker 03 She was in there, but it was all like, you know, her friends and family. The baby was there.
12:49 Speaker 04 Yeah, the baby.
12:51 Speaker 03 The baby was there.
12:51 Speaker 04 The titular baby from the, from the bump, from the promo pictures.
12:54 Speaker 03 The baby from the special.
12:55 Speaker 04 The baby from the special was in the screening.
12:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
12:58 Speaker 04 Dude, I, a Q and A with the baby.
13:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you feel about this?
13:03 Speaker 04 You want kids?
13:04 Speaker 03 I don't know.
13:05 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay.
13:07 Speaker 03 I go back and forth with it, you know? Every time I see Rihanna pregnant, I'm like, I should have a baby.
13:11 Speaker 04 She makes it look good.
13:12 Speaker 03 I should have a baby. But also, like, some days I forget to eat until like 3pm and and I've smoked weed already and it's like, I can't do this if I have a baby.
13:24 Speaker 04 I'm high, I'm hungry.
13:25 Speaker 03 I'm high, I'm hungry.
13:26 Speaker 04 The baby's sober and hungry.
13:27 Speaker 03 The baby would be dead. Like, what? Plus, it's like, I don't know. I can leave my house for days at a time and not think about it. You can't do that if you have a baby. You have to like, be there.
13:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, you really do.
13:40 Speaker 03 It's kinda crazy.
13:41 Speaker 04 It's crazy that I'm like, of course I want kids, I really, really do. And then I'm like, literally for the last five years, I've wanted a dog and can't do it. Like, I can't commit to taking it out and I can't commit to being in town with it. Like, that's insane.
13:53 Speaker 03 Are you gonna put a little vest on the dog?
13:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, I would put shoes on it too. Like, I'm really one of those. I'm really, like, I would get... Here's, I know exactly what'll happen. When I get a dog, first, I view myself as too cool to do shit like that. I do think of myself as someone who's cooler than that. I would start, I would get the dog. I would start doing it ironically. I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna put shoes on the dog.
14:13 Speaker 03 The dog has Crocs.
14:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm like, isn't that funny? And then I would legitimately fall in love with it and start doing it all the time. I'm somebody who's susceptible to that. I'll start doing something ironic and then I legitimately just become someone who's doing that.
14:25 Speaker 03 I don't, I can't do a dog.
14:26 Speaker 04 No?
14:27 Speaker 03 No.
14:27 Speaker 04 Not even a little small guy?
14:28 Speaker 03 I can't do a dog because I'm not picking up poop.
14:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:32 Speaker 03 And then, but you gotta like, walk the dog multiple times a day. I'm out late. I used to date this guy, he'd be like, I gotta go home and feed the dog. And I'd be like, what? It's 2am! The dog still didn't eat. But you know, like, he was like, I gotta take the dog out. And it was like, oh my god. And he was like a big 6'3" dude, like, and I had never seen the dog, so I just assumed he had like a big sexy dog. And then I met the dog, it's a Yorkie.
14:57 Speaker 04 Dude.
14:57 Speaker 03 I said, this petite girl dog. And he's like, yeah, my ex got this dog. And I was like, I don't wanna talk about the dog no more.
15:04 Speaker 04 Get your ex's dog out of my house.
15:06 Speaker 03 Shut that ex dog up. Um, anyway, the dog's dead now. Bye.
15:09 Speaker 04 When a big sexy man has a tiny cute little dog, uh, that's just something to me that happens a lot in New York. That's something to me that is very spiritual.
15:17 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. And he walked it with no leash. The dog just would walk with him.
15:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:21 Speaker 03 That's hot. When a guy can walk a dog with no leash.
15:23 Speaker 04 Yeah. I mean, that's scary to me, but not when it's a York. What was that?
15:27 Speaker 03 Oh, Yorkie.
15:28 Speaker 04 Those are tiny. They can't do anything.
15:30 Speaker 03 Yeah. And it looked, it looked like a little baby dog for the whole time. It was, the dog was 18 years old when it died.
15:37 Speaker 03 I'm like, hey, little guy, look at the baby. And he got like a bad hip.
15:41 Speaker 04 He's like, I'm a hundred in dog years.
15:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, the dog was like. Like coughing and it was like, oh my God.
15:47 Speaker 04 Why do we, why do we do dog years? Do you understand that?
15:49 Speaker 03 No.
15:50 Speaker 04 What is that about?
15:51 Speaker 03 Yeah. What's that about? Their bones age faster than ours?
15:54 Speaker 04 Or is it just literally that we're like, they're gonna die when they're 18. So we have to feel better about them not dying as children? Is that kinda what it is?
15:59 Speaker 03 But all dogs don't live to be 18. I think average dog is like 12. I actually know nothing about dogs.
16:05 Speaker 04 Actually, as it turns out, let me.
16:07 Speaker 03 I don't even think it was a Yorkie. I don't know about a dog.
16:11 Speaker 04 I would love to have a dog, but I can't. Yeah, I can't commit. And people say, get a small one and take it with you. I'm like, I already, like the number, the number of days that I wake up and almost cancel everything just cause I'm not feeling it. Like it's already, I almost canceled, I almost canceled this podcast and the next three things I have today just cause I woke up being like, it would be nice to hang out at home. Like.
16:29 Speaker 03 Oh, that's so crazy. I also felt the same thing when I woke up this morning.
16:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:32 Speaker 03 I was like, huh.
16:34 Speaker 04 Gotta go to Manhattan. Yeah.
16:35 Speaker 03 I gotta go to the city, but I have a lot of stuff to do today. So.
16:38 Speaker 04 What are you doing?
16:39 Speaker 03 Ah, I'm trying to get a free couch. So I'm going to this thing later, uh, right after this, uh, like a brunch for this couch brand that I like.
16:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:46 Speaker 03 They invited me. So I'm, I'm going, I'm a network.
16:49 Speaker 04 You're going in there asking for a free couch?
16:50 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no. I'm just gonna go in. I'm gonna go and be like, is this the new line?
16:54 Speaker 04 Ooh, this would look good in my place, but. I don't really wanna buy one right now.
16:59 Speaker 03 I don't. Couches are expen- the sexy ones are expensive.
17:02 Speaker 04 Couches and rugs will fuck you up.
17:04 Speaker 03 A rug?
17:04 Speaker 04 Yes. Rugs will fuck up your life.
17:07 Speaker 03 But also, I don't know how to pick a rug and like it. You understand what I'm saying? Cause like, it has to go with the space, but also go with the couch. But also, I don't know. It's hard. It's all hard.
17:18 Speaker 04 I'm not good at- so I have, I have good taste and I like the things I like. But I am decorating my house right now. And I hired my friend to be the interior decorator for it, or the interior designer. Sorry. Because I- that's the thing is I'm like, I like that rug, I like this couch, I like this piece of art.
17:35 Speaker 03 They don't necessarily go together.
17:36 Speaker 04 I put them in the room, they make no sense.
17:38 Speaker 03 Right.
17:38 Speaker 04 And then all of a sudden, they'll pick something that seems like it makes no sense, they put it in the room. It's a skill. It's a crazy skill.
17:44 Speaker 03 And you'll be like, oh my god.
17:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, it'd be so simple. Yes.
17:48 Speaker 03 All it needed was a plant right there? I, I hired an interior designer and she quit.
17:53 Speaker 04 No.
17:54 Speaker 03 Girl.
17:55 Speaker 04 Why?
17:55 Speaker 03 She said I was too indecisive.
18:00 Speaker 04 You put her through hell.
18:01 Speaker 03 I did it for her through hell. I literally was like, yeah, I think I want an orange couch. And then the next time we spoke, I'd be like, I want a pink couch. And then the next time we speak, I'd be like, no, I wanna leave it blue. And she'd be like...
18:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:13 Speaker 03 But, all of the HGTV that I watch...
18:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:17 Speaker 03 The, the interior designer shows up with some 3D renderance.
18:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
18:22 Speaker 03 Like, if you want orange, we could do this. If you want pink, we could do this. She never showed me no 3D renderance.
18:26 Speaker 04 No renderings.
18:27 Speaker 03 So that's on her.
18:28 Speaker 04 Yeah. Get your renderings right.
18:29 Speaker 03 Get your renderings ready.
18:30 Speaker 04 Yeah, get your, get your CAD plans or whatever.
18:32 Speaker 03 Bring me the renderings.
18:34 Speaker 04 I want my renderings now.
18:35 Speaker 03 Now. It's my renderings and I need them now.
18:39 Speaker 04 You, you driving this woman to quit because she didn't have renderings is cracking me up.
18:44 Speaker 03 Caleb, do you watch, do you watch HGTV at all?
18:47 Speaker 04 No, not much.
18:48 Speaker 03 Oh, I love it. I think if I wasn't doing comedy, I would be an interior designer who, who was indecisive.
18:55 Speaker 04 Who has the renderings.
18:55 Speaker 03 But I would have the renderings.
18:58 Speaker 04 So I don't know why renderings is so funny, but you running an interior design show is something I would tune into.
19:02 Speaker 03 Oh yeah. Somebody sent me something, they pitched it to me. They're like, you walking into people's houses and saying yuck at everything you don't like. And I was like, yes, let's do it.
19:11 Speaker 04 We need you to have-
19:12 Speaker 03 Seventeen seasons.
19:13 Speaker 04 We need you to have an unscripted show immediately called Marie Faustin's Renderings.
19:17 Speaker 03 Renderings with Reezy.
19:18 Speaker 04 Renderings with Reezy, come on.
19:20 Speaker 03 Mirandaings.
19:21 Speaker 04 Mirandaings, come on, it's all right there.
19:24 Speaker 03 Let's go Hollywood, come on, cut the check.
19:27 Speaker 04 This would be so good.
19:28 Speaker 03 I don't even know how to do renderings.
19:30 Speaker 04 You know, it might help you get that couch if you say the brand right now on the show.
19:34 Speaker 03 No.
19:34 Speaker 04 You don't think so?
19:35 Speaker 03 I'm not saying it, cuz I don't have the couch yet.
19:38 Speaker 04 Give a follow up.
19:39 Speaker 03 When I get the couch, I'll say the brand.
19:41 Speaker 04 I want you to tell them this, when you go there today, if you get to talk to someone, if you get to talk to someone who seems like they have couch power, I want you to say, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna take a video of myself on my new couch and send it to Caleb and he's gonna put it on the show.
19:52 Speaker 03 Let me tell you something.
19:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
19:54 Speaker 03 I went to visit the couch last month.
19:56 Speaker 04 I am obsessed with this.
19:57 Speaker 03 I'm looking at it, I'm laying on it, I'm like, oh, this is nice. I did go with a man who I was like, maybe he'll buy the couch. He didn't buy it.
20:05 Speaker 03 But when we were on the way out, this girl was like, Marie? And she was like, oh my god, I'm listening to your podcast right now. And she was like, she worked for this, she worked for this company.
20:14 Speaker 04 Yeah.
20:15 Speaker 03 And she was like, you know, I can talk to the marketing team for you. And I was like, do that.
20:19 Speaker 04 Do that, yeah.
20:20 Speaker 03 And then, I guess she didn't. But, she messaged me and invited me to this brunch today, which is why I'm going to the brunch.
20:26 Speaker 04 A couch brand having a brunch is so like, we, brands have gotten out of control, I feel.
20:31 Speaker 03 I'm calling it a brunch, but they might not have no food there.
20:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, it might just be that they want you to come see some couches.
20:35 Speaker 03 And if you're inviting me to see the couch, that must mean I'm leaving today with a couch.
20:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'm going home today.
20:41 Speaker 03 I'm leaving here with some.
20:42 Speaker 04 I'm leaving, that is my favorite, that is my favorite conversation of all time.
20:46 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm from around the way.
20:48 Speaker 04 I'm from around the way, I'm leaving. And the way, dude, he's so funny. The way he says that is so goddamn funny. He has Jamie Foxx in tears.
20:57 Speaker 03 Yes.
20:57 Speaker 04 Jamie Foxx, one of our only Renaissance men.
20:59 Speaker 03 Yes.
21:00 Speaker 04 Jamie Foxx, who can do it all.
21:02 Speaker 03 Literally, literally, except date black women.
21:05 Speaker 04 Does he not?
21:06 Speaker 03 No.
21:06 Speaker 04 Jamie.
21:07 Speaker 03 That's okay.
21:08 Speaker 04 Jamie.
21:08 Speaker 03 That's okay.
21:09 Speaker 04 I can't be on his case about that, I don't either.
21:12 Speaker 03 Neither do I.
21:13 Speaker 04 I don't pay black women.
21:16 Speaker 03 Well.
21:17 Speaker 04 Oh god, I wish.
21:19 Speaker 03 Hang in there, sis, come on.
21:21 Speaker 04 Sorry to the black women listening, I am, uh, off the market. For you, for you, for you. I'm not off the market, for, if you're a single black gay man, hit me up, who knows?
21:31 Speaker 03 Show him the renderings.
21:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, show me the.
21:35 Speaker 04 I want my renderings and I want them now. Wait, what was I thinking of? That Denzel clip is so fucking funny to me. Oh, well, I'm jealous of the place he's at, well, for a million reasons. But he's got that fun, he's got that, he's in that fun part of his career where he's a legend. He's done it. He's done the most iconic movies. He's one of the greatest actors of our lifetime.
21:57 Speaker 03 He's done plays, he has the Academy Award.
21:59 Speaker 04 Yeah.
22:00 Speaker 03 You know, he's done seven equalizers. I don't know how many he's done. But, yes, you're ready to have fun.
22:06 Speaker 04 He gets, he shows up, he shows up in sweats. Or like, he shows up in like, like that interview, he's like dressed so casually, not, I don't think he ever shows up in sweats. But he's like casual, having fun, goofing off, and also saying what's on his mind. Like, did you see that interview with him? He was talking to an interviewer and the interviewer was like, "Uh, what do you think of all, like, all you Hollywood people coming and doing theater?" And he was like, "Excuse me?"
22:28 Speaker 03 All you Hollywood people?
22:29 Speaker 04 He was like, "I do theater." He was like, "I'm a theater actor first." And then he, he like, he just says what he wants now.
22:36 Speaker 03 But also, how do you not, how are you interviewing me, the Denzel Washington, and you haven't done your research?
22:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
22:43 Speaker 03 I do theater.
22:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, he's a theater actor, yeah.
22:46 Speaker 03 Right. He did Fences and he's doing Othello right now and, I mean, I don't know where he went to school. Is it, is he a Yale School of Drama person? Or Juilliard?
22:57 Speaker 04 He went in New York for acting school. I want to say it was like, maybe Fordham or something? It was, I don't think it was like NYU. Where'd he go? Somewhere, yeah, he went to Fordham. Ooh!
23:06 Speaker 03 Look at you!
23:09 Speaker 04 That was good.
23:10 Speaker 03 I didn't know.
23:10 Speaker 04 That was really good.
23:11 Speaker 03 This is nice having the, having the computer TV screen locked up like this.
23:15 Speaker 04 Yeah, he went to Fordham. And then, I, because I knew he was in New York, but he went to Fordham and yeah, was doing, was doing theater. Now, I don't know what American Conservatory Theater is, but that's something he did as well.
23:25 Speaker 03 Yeah. So, don't, how, how does it feel like to come into, "Bitch, I do theater."
23:33 Speaker 04 And he did, that's what I'm saying though, is like, he's at that awesome place of life where like, he doesn't have anything to prove to anyone, he's a fucking legend. And he'll just be like, he just did that interviewer in an interview was like, "No, excuse me?" He was like, no, absolutely not.
23:47 Speaker 03 He said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I do that.
23:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
23:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:51 Speaker 04 I love that for him.
23:52 Speaker 03 I do, it's so great, but I think that a- as you become successful, you can be that comfortable, cuz you, you can talk your shit. You've proven yourself already, you have nothing else to prove.
24:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:04 Speaker 03 You, you there, you're there, in like a year or two. In like ten years.
24:09 Speaker 04 What's your favorite Denzel movie?
24:10 Speaker 03 Um, I really like, um, Remember the Titans, I like John Q.
24:16 Speaker 04 John Q's my favorite.
24:17 Speaker 03 It's just, it's, it's so dramatic.
24:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
24:20 Speaker 03 It's so dramatic, my son needs a-
24:23 Speaker 04 Heart? Heart.
24:24 Speaker 03 And I'm robbing this hospital.
24:29 Speaker 03 Bring me the heart.
24:30 Speaker 04 He's locking the doors, he's got like guns pulled on doctors and shit, yeah.
24:33 Speaker 03 Yes.
24:34 Speaker 04 Yeah, John Q's a big one for me.
24:35 Speaker 03 It's so good, um, and then, I'm blanking on all the other Denzel movies.
24:40 Speaker 04 I just rewatched Training Day.
24:41 Speaker 03 Okay, does it still hold up?
24:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, it does.
24:44 Speaker 03 Okay, okay, I'm gonna watch it, I'm gonna rewatch it.
24:46 Speaker 04 I mean, he's so insane in it, like, he's so, he's so like nuts and scary in that movie. I'm just like, Denzel, he can do anything.
24:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, but also like playing a villain, I feel like, has to be fun.
25:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
25:02 Speaker 03 Cuz being the good guy is like, you want people to root for you, yay, but the villain has more fun in the movies, I think.
25:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, cuz we don't really care much, I, I think we're more into villains now. Like, you look at the people who play the good guys and we're all just kinda, I, I, I don't know, I feel, at least in my circles, I'm bored with the good guy movies, I'm like, bring me a good villain.
25:21 Speaker 03 Bring me a villain.
25:23 Speaker 04 A big time villain.
25:24 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's kinda why I was disappointed in Cruella, cuz it was like, Cruella is more badass than this.
25:30 Speaker 04 I didn't see it, who was in it?
25:31 Speaker 03 Emma Stone.
25:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay.
25:34 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's not giving what Glenn gave.
25:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, Glenn's got, Glenn's got those, there's something in the eyes there.
25:39 Speaker 03 She got crazy eyes.
25:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
25:41 Speaker 03 She would kill a Dalmatian.
25:46 Speaker 03 Emma Stone is not killing a Dalmatian.
25:49 Speaker 04 No, too sweetie, too sweetie with that one.
25:51 Speaker 03 I think she had a Dalmatian in the movie, it was like, this don't make sense.
25:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
25:55 Speaker 03 Where is the coat?
25:56 Speaker 04 Where is the coat?
25:57 Speaker 03 Where are the coats?
25:58 Speaker 04 Make the coat.
25:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:59 Speaker 04 I want my renderings and my coat immediately.
26:01 Speaker 03 Give me a rendering of the coat.
26:07 Speaker 04 Dude, I love Emma Stone though too, cuz she has, she's had a, um, she did like Easy A and movies like that.
26:13 Speaker 03 She started in Superbad.
26:14 Speaker 04 She was in Superbad and Easy A.
26:16 Speaker 03 She was super bad in Superbad.
26:17 Speaker 04 And now.
26:19 Speaker 03 She just did some movie where she, what was it? Pretty Things? Poor Things?
26:23 Speaker 04 Poor Things.
26:24 Speaker 03 Did you see that?
26:24 Speaker 04 Yes.
26:25 Speaker 03 That was a good movie.
26:26 Speaker 04 I love Yorgos. Yorgos Lanthimos. Sometimes people say Yorgo. I don't know what's correct.
26:30 Speaker 03 I don't know who Yorgos is.
26:31 Speaker 04 Yorgo Lanthimos. Yorgos Lanthimos.
26:33 Speaker 03 Is that the guy who did the movie?
26:34 Speaker 04 Yorgo, he's the director.
26:36 Speaker 03 What else has Yorgo directed?
26:37 Speaker 04 Oh my god, The Lobster. You seen The Lobster?
26:40 Speaker 03 No, what is The Lobster? That sounds like some crazy Swedish movie.
26:44 Speaker 04 Yorgo? Is it Yorgo or Yorgos? Do you pronounce the S? Can you, Nicole, can you Google?
26:49 Speaker 03 Lanthimos.
26:50 Speaker 04 Can you Google?
26:51 Speaker 03 He's Greek as hell, huh?
26:52 Speaker 04 Can you Google Yorgo, uh, pronounce S? Yeah. How do you say Yorgos Lanthimos? Yorgos Lanthimos? Oh shit, I didn't even realize the second one could be different. Soft Y or goes. The last name is pronounced Lanthimos. Yorgos Lanthimos?
27:09 Speaker 03 I love it.
27:10 Speaker 04 Wait.
27:11 Speaker 03 That's like a, his name is like a haiku.
27:13 Speaker 04 Wait, with the T silent and Lanthimos?
27:16 Speaker 03 Yorgos Lenhimos.
27:17 Speaker 04 Lenimos?
27:18 Speaker 03 Lenimos.
27:18 Speaker 04 Yorgos Lenimos.
27:21 Speaker 03 Yorgos Lenimos, that sounds like a spell.
27:25 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you wanna run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
27:53 Speaker 04 Yeah, it sounds like something Hermione would say when she's being annoying.
27:56 Speaker 03 Yorgos Lenimos.
27:57 Speaker 04 The boys can't get it and she's like, no, it's this. Yorgos Lenimos.
28:00 Speaker 03 I have a confession.
28:01 Speaker 04 We're not supposed to talk about her anymore.
28:02 Speaker 03 I've never seen Harry Potter.
28:04 Speaker 04 That has turned out to be correct.
28:06 Speaker 03 Why are we not supposed to talk about her anymore?
28:07 Speaker 04 Well, we're not supposed to talk about Harry Potter anymore because J.K. Rowling hates trans people. Yeah, and like really vocally.
28:16 Speaker 03 Well, she's she's doing the reverse Denzel.
28:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:18 Speaker 03 She's been very successful. She's like, I'mma talk about how I feel.
28:22 Speaker 04 Yeah, that is funny. I guess I, yeah, I guess maybe there's, I don't envy her. I actually wish ill for her. But yeah, I guess if you're not a transphobe, it is kind of, to me, I'm like, as a business person, if you feel that way,
28:37 Speaker 04 you know what I mean? Why not just keep it quiet?
28:38 Speaker 03 But that's how you know everybody on her team is old.
28:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:41 Speaker 03 Cause a young person would be like, we don't talk like that in twenty twenty five.
28:45 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:45 Speaker 03 Or twenty twenty three, whenever she said it.
28:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
28:47 Speaker 03 We don't talk about that post pandemic.
28:52 Speaker 04 She's saying it every day. Yeah, we're not supposed to be, and I'm not, I'm not watching them anymore, but as a kid, Harry Potter was like, big for me.
28:59 Speaker 03 Who is she telling, like, who, does she have a podcast or a blog?
29:04 Speaker 04 She's on Twitter every day, like railing against trans people, tweeting, like just tweeting out arguments. She's, she's interacting with people criticizing her. She's quote tweeting people and being like, being like, oh, I'm sorry, like, you know, however they talk.
29:19 Speaker 04 Some men are supposed to use the loo then with the girls. And it's like, shut up bitch. No one, shut, shut up.
29:23 Speaker 03 Right. She doesn't even use public bathrooms. You have seven bathrooms in your house. Stay pee there.
29:29 Speaker 04 Yeah. We're not, so we're not supposed to talk about, about anymore.
29:32 Speaker 03 Harry Potter's canceled.
29:33 Speaker 04 But you never got into it?
29:34 Speaker 03 No.
29:35 Speaker 04 What were you into as a kid? What was your big like?
29:39 Speaker 03 As a kid, I wasn't allowed to really watch movies. You know, my, my parents were like school and church. That's what we do here.
29:46 Speaker 04 Yeah, church and school only.
29:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, they're very, you know, they're Haitians, I'm first generation. They care about the Lord and the books. And it's like, what else? I would, I remember I was invited to a birthday party, to see She's All That at the movies. And I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties because they were like, you can't go to somebody's house, you're gonna get took, you're gonna get touched, you'll get taken. Tuch, touch, taken.
30:13 Speaker 03 I just wanna eat pizza with my friends.
30:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:16 Speaker 03 And watch a movie about an ugly girl who has glasses and when she takes her glasses off, she cute down.
30:20 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:21 Speaker 03 And they would not let me go. But for the whole week, I thought, they're gonna let me go.
30:26 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:26 Speaker 03 No.
30:27 Speaker 04 Really?
30:27 Speaker 03 I had a piano lesson that day and they made me go to my piano lesson. Ah, I just wanted to see if she saw that.
30:34 Speaker 04 They're legends. To me, I love them.
30:35 Speaker 03 Ugh, yeah. But I'll never forgive them for that.
30:38 Speaker 04 Are you, what's the, are they still in New York?
30:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:42 Speaker 04 Doing church all the time?
30:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, but like separately.
30:45 Speaker 04 Oh.
30:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
30:46 Speaker 04 Interesting.
30:46 Speaker 03 Yeah. It's like, you guys, you love the Lord but don't love each other. That's interesting.
30:50 Speaker 04 Interesting.
30:51 Speaker 03 Yeah. But my parents have been together for like forty years and I think they should not have been together for that long. And I think if you're together for that long and you're a certain age, it's just like, what am I gonna do? Start again?
31:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, yes. There's a lot of people like that, that I, there's people like that, especially back in Missouri, that I know, who of course I'm not gonna mention, but
31:13 Speaker 03 They know who they are.
31:14 Speaker 04 They know who they are. But yeah, you, you're together for so long that you just go, I'm not starting over. You do your thing, I'll do mine. Let's just write out the tax benefits until we're both out of here.
31:21 Speaker 03 Right.
31:22 Speaker 04 We'll do the burial plots next to each other and that's just how we'll get out of this thing.
31:25 Speaker 03 No, we'll do a space between us in the burial plot.
31:27 Speaker 04 You, some grass, me, yeah.
31:30 Speaker 03 You, Uncle Albert.
31:35 Speaker 03 No, I don't want that. I don't want that for me, for me.
31:38 Speaker 04 No.
31:38 Speaker 03 I'd rather be alone than be with somebody that I don't like.
31:41 Speaker 04 Yeah, for sure. I, that's, my mom and I have talked about this a lot because she dated a lot of people that she, my mom had like, uh, my mom wanted to fix a lot of broken men. And we talk about that a lot now that she's in her fifties and she's single and she's like, no, I just, I think it's actually better for me to be alone than to be with someone I don't like. And I'm like, ye- yes, welcome to it.
32:01 Speaker 03 We've been saying that.
32:01 Speaker 04 This is what we're saying, yeah. I just don't wanna be with, I don't want someone in my house that I'm like annoyed with.
32:06 Speaker 03 Hard stop. I don't want somebody in my house. I feel like Whoopi Goldberg.
32:09 Speaker 04 Whoopi, wait.
32:10 Speaker 03 Shout out to Whoopi G.
32:12 Speaker 04 She really nailed it with that one.
32:14 Speaker 03 But like, as somebody who's lived alone for now five years, I can't imagine someone in my house. Even like, my friends will come or like guys I date or my sister stay with me for like a couple of months. And I like everything where it is, cuz that's where I put it. She would put the Brita filter in the, in the fridge in a different place.
32:33 Speaker 04 No.
32:34 Speaker 03 And I'd be like, huh.
32:37 Speaker 03 It's blocking the light. I can't even see in the fridge. And it's like, girl, it's a clear filter with water in it.
32:43 Speaker 04 Yeah.
32:43 Speaker 03 You can still see, but I'd be like, oh my god, it's hideous. And so, yeah, me and my sister have proven that we cannot live together. But she now has her own place, I have my own place. I think when you meet somebody and you move in together, you just have to get a new place together.
33:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:01 Speaker 03 You can't move into each other's space because it's not gonna work.
33:05 Speaker 04 I'm not integrating into your place.
33:06 Speaker 03 No.
33:07 Speaker 04 And you, not in mine. The idea that like, we're gonna get rid of your dresser because I like mine and we're gonna put it into the space and hope, no, we're getting a new place.
33:14 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
33:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:15 Speaker 03 I can walk through my apartment with the lights off and not hit anything.
33:19 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:20 Speaker 03 You start moving your big bulky, manly, ugly stuff in here, I'm gonna stub my toe. And now you have to leave. You need to leave.
33:29 Speaker 04 That wasn't in the renderings.
33:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, this, whoa, this was not in the renderings.
33:33 Speaker 04 This was not in the renderings. I've got renderings for my life and you are not in them.
33:37 Speaker 03 They're ingrained in my brain.
33:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:39 Speaker 03 But, I don't know. I think that if and when I get married, he's gonna have to live across the street.
33:43 Speaker 04 Yeah. People do that. People do that very successfully.
33:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:49 Speaker 04 I don't know, man. I feel like I want them in my house though at the same time. Do you know what I mean?
33:54 Speaker 03 Separate bedrooms, then.
33:55 Speaker 04 You think? You're like doing anything to hold on. You're like, please, separate bedrooms.
33:59 Speaker 03 Something. I just, my space is really important to me. And I, as a single person, like, just to come home and not have to answer questions about my day and be able to just take all of my clothes off at the door and then put my keys down. You know what I mean? Like, you're allowed to be gross when you're alone, but when someone's watching you, you gotta tweak how you act because they can see you.
34:23 Speaker 04 You're being perceived, yeah.
34:24 Speaker 03 Yes.
34:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:25 Speaker 03 And it's like, I just want you to think that I'm cute and cool. And then when you see me come home after doing three shows, you see that, oh, I'm kind of a savage.
34:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:35 Speaker 03 Right?
34:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:35 Speaker 03 I'm like naked, on like, on my knees, doing a wordle at 12:42 in the morning. And I'm on the ground on my knees for like... An hour.
34:46 Speaker 04 Yeah.
34:47 Speaker 03 And then I get up and my knees creak cause and then I drink something from the bottle. And then I shot like I have there's steps to my madness.
34:56 Speaker 04 Yeah. I had a guy that I was seeing once that I was I was at home in my like stained laundry day T shirt. I had when I had come in, I had like kicked my shoes off in the living room. I had like there's shit on the I have like trash on the counter from dinner because I had ordered takeout. This is all stuff that I'm gonna handle.
35:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:13 Speaker 04 But he text me and he was like, hey, I'm outside. I was just in the neighborhood. Can I like come in and hang out? And I was like, dude, there's so many things that would have to happen for you to come in here. And so I was like, I didn't I didn't answer for like 10 minutes because I was running around the house fixing stuff. I got back to my phone and I was like, oh, yeah, give me a couple of minutes. So I took a couple more minutes. And I'm like this, you can never pop up on me like that.
35:32 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:33 Speaker 04 I'm doing shit when I'm alone that you can't witness.
35:35 Speaker 03 I hate the pop up. I hate the hey, I'm downstairs or worse, the buzzer.
35:41 Speaker 04 Not the buzzer.
35:42 Speaker 03 So if I hit a buzzer and my house looks how you just described your house, I hit the deck. Literally, I did that the other day. I was like, whoop.
35:51 Speaker 04 Turn off the lights.
35:52 Speaker 03 No, the lights were I was like he he'll know that I saw it and I turned the lights off because you you can see that my lights are on when you walk up.
36:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
36:01 Speaker 03 So I'm I'm on the ground. I'm like, there's no way he can see me.
36:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
36:04 Speaker 03 I'm like crawling to the bathroom.
36:06 Speaker 04 Yeah. I had my I had two friends the other day. My I'm on the um not the ground level, but just right above. So you can people on the street can see in my windows. And I had my windows open because it was hot. So the you can hear what I'm doing in there. I can hear what's going on out there. And you can see because I only have the sheer curtains over it.
36:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:22 Speaker 04 My friends were walking by on a walk and they I'm sitting on the couch playing video games and they go, Caleb. They're looking at me.
36:28 Speaker 03 Oh, no.
36:29 Speaker 04 And I was like, oh, God.
36:31 Speaker 03 You gotta get like privacy um like sticky, clear stuff for your windows.
36:36 Speaker 04 I know, but I like it. I like being able to see. But I I most of the time people are just walking by minding their business, you know?
36:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:43 Speaker 04 These are people who knew I live there.
36:45 Speaker 03 Caleb, so what did you do? Did you did you hit the deck?
36:47 Speaker 04 I went, I went, no. And then they they laughed really hard and then started to walk away and didn't I said, come in because I did want them to come in. But they didn't hear that part. So they just walked off and I let them. I was like, get out of here.
36:58 Speaker 03 You said, you said, no.
37:00 Speaker 04 Come in.
37:04 Speaker 04 I text him and said, I said, come in. And they said, they said, oh, we thought you said, go away. I said, no, come in.
37:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, the no was to go away.
37:11 Speaker 04 The no was the, yeah. No. Yeah. I didn't like, I don't like, I don't like the pop up.
37:19 Speaker 03 I hate a pop up.
37:20 Speaker 04 I think it's good for community and I do it to people, but I don't, I don't like it if I'm in a certain, you need to, you need to pop up on me when you know that I'm correct.
37:28 Speaker 03 Can I text you if I'm in your neighborhood? Or I'll text you if I'm gonna be close by. Don't just show up. I have a friend, he'll do that. He'll show up on his little bike. He'll be like, hey, girl, come downstairs. I'm here. And I'm like, I'll come down, but you're not coming up.
37:46 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
38:14 Speaker 04 Yeah. I like, I like a pop up with just a tiny bit of notice. I do like when someone's like, hey, I'm in your neighborhood, I'm coming by in 15 minutes. That I don't mind because then I can choose if I want to go out or if I want to let them in. Like, I, I like a casual, like, friend pop over. There is something specifically different to me about a romantic context. Where I'm like, or someone that I have sex with, where I'm like, it's different. My, actually, most of my friends, like, truly, Maria, if you came over to my house unannounced and I was in my laundry clothes and there was takeout on the counter and stuff, I'd be like, that's just Maria, that's my friend Maria. I'm like, I wouldn't actually mind that so much.
38:44 Speaker 03 That's crazy. You wouldn't clean for me?
38:45 Speaker 04 I would clean, but I wouldn't be so scared of you perceiving me because you're my buddy. Somebody I fuck is like, oh, man.
38:51 Speaker 03 It's different.
38:52 Speaker 04 It's different, yeah.
38:53 Speaker 03 I had a guy pop up on me once, it was like midnight. I'm in my underwear, literally just panties, I'm on the couch, my legs are up, the couch that I'm trying to get rid of. And I was on the phone with Sydney, we're like FaceTiming. My, my buzzer goes off and she's like, who's that? I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, is it you? She's like, no. We're both like, who is it? And this guy that I was dating. Calls me and then texts me, hey, I'm downstairs. I came to pick up my hat. What?
39:23 Speaker 04 No.
39:23 Speaker 03 At twelve thirty-four in the morning?
39:25 Speaker 04 Not the hat.
39:26 Speaker 03 The hat?
39:27 Speaker 04 Not the hat.
39:28 Speaker 03 You don't have no other hats at the house?
39:29 Speaker 04 Get, get another hat in the renderings. Stay out of my place. I had a, I had a hat thing with a guy one time. I hooked up with this guy from Grindr. He like, I, I got on Grindr. I don't know if I've said this on here before. I got on Grindr. This guy messaged me. He was like, hey, do you want to hook up? I was like, yes, come over. He came over.
39:45 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
39:45 Speaker 04 This is all, takes place in like ten minutes. It was like one of those.
39:48 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
39:48 Speaker 04 Comes over, hooks up. It was cold out. He had a stocking cap. He left it. And then when he left, I messaged him like an hour later because I noticed the stocking cap. I messaged him. I was like, hey, you left your thing. Like, feel free to swing by tomorrow. I'll be around. Because he like told me he worked in the neighborhood.
40:01 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
40:02 Speaker 04 I was like, swing by tomorrow if you want to grab it. Or, he said he worked at a coffee shop. I was like, or I can bring it by your coffee shop if you just tell me which one it is. Like, no big deal. To me, I'm thinking like, you just left a hat here. It's winter. I'm gonna bring you your hat or you can come get it.
40:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:14 Speaker 04 He messaged me back like an hour later and was like, hey, just want to let you know, like, I have a boyfriend, so I'm not really looking for anything serious. I was like,
40:21 Speaker 03 Whoa.
40:22 Speaker 04 I'm not, you left the hat with me.
40:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:25 Speaker 04 I'm not trying to date you. I'm trying to get rid of this hat.
40:27 Speaker 03 Yeah.
40:27 Speaker 04 I don't, I was so.
40:29 Speaker 03 It's an ugly hat.
40:30 Speaker 04 I was like, what? Never got the hat back to him. After that, I was like, you're crazy.
40:35 Speaker 03 Some people are crazy.
40:36 Speaker 04 People are crazy.
40:37 Speaker 03 But like, it's like, he thought you were doing like a reverse, leave something at somebody's house so you can see them again.
40:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
40:43 Speaker 03 He thought you hid the hat, so he, he had to come back to pick it up.
40:46 Speaker 04 You left the cap. I'm not trying to date you.
40:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, he's like, I'm leaving here with nothing. No.
40:51 Speaker 04 I'm not from around the way.
40:53 Speaker 03 I work around the way.
40:55 Speaker 04 I work around the way. I'm leaving here with nothing.
40:56 Speaker 03 I'm leaving here with nothing. Come get your raggedy hat. Sounds like the hat was ugly.
41:01 Speaker 04 It was ugly. And it like, it, but it's so insane to me to go from like, we hooked up and we, everything happened in under ten minutes, that we, we talked to each other, we agreed that he would come over, and then he was on his way. That, I would go from that to you leaving a hat to me being like, I think I need to trap this guy. I need to keep him around.
41:21 Speaker 03 Girl, first of all, hitting me with the, I have a boyfriend. I'm not looking for anything. You had a boyfriend when you came over here ten minutes ago.
41:26 Speaker 04 By the way.
41:27 Speaker 03 So.
41:29 Speaker 04 Tell your boyfriend to come get the hat.
41:31 Speaker 03 Well, tell him to come get that.
41:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
41:34 Speaker 03 Where does your boyfriend work?
41:35 Speaker 04 Does he work at a coffee shop in the neighborhood? Can I take the hat to him? I don't care who gets the hat.
41:40 Speaker 03 People are delulu.
41:41 Speaker 04 Also, I will burn the hat. I don't care about the hat.
41:43 Speaker 03 Babe.
41:44 Speaker 04 I was trying to be nice.
41:45 Speaker 03 I will use it to wipe my TV and my countertops and then throw it in the trash.
41:50 Speaker 04 I will wipe all my floors with this hat and throw it away.
41:53 Speaker 03 I will Cinderella my whole house from floor to ceiling with this hat.
41:56 Speaker 04 I will easily do that with the hat, but I was trying to be, yeah, I was trying to be Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. A friendly, a friendly smile.
42:03 Speaker 03 This is a lesson that you need to learn. You can't be nice.
42:06 Speaker 04 You think?
42:06 Speaker 03 You gotta be a little country.
42:07 Speaker 04 You think I need, what do you, what do you think I need to, do you think I need to be a little meaner?
42:12 Speaker 03 Maybe. To men, for sure, yeah.
42:14 Speaker 04 To men. Yeah, you're better about that. You're better about that.
42:18 Speaker 03 Thank you so much.
42:19 Speaker 04 Yeah, you treat men bad.
42:20 Speaker 03 It's not that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't treat men bad.
42:24 Speaker 04 I'm running a narrative. I'm running a narrative.
42:26 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sinners. Let's not do this. I don't treat.
42:31 Speaker 04 I start playing banjo.
42:33 Speaker 03 Her leg starts tapping.
42:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
42:34 Speaker 03 No, I don't treat men bad. I just think that, uh, if you're a little bit mean to people, they want you to like them more.
42:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
42:43 Speaker 03 This is a fact.
42:43 Speaker 04 Yeah. Well, people want you to like them not because you're mean, but because you're cool.
42:49 Speaker 04 You know you're cool. Don't play with me.
42:51 Speaker 03 I'm not cool all the time, and I'm cool now, but I wasn't cool as a kid.
42:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
42:57 Speaker 03 I got, I'm cool as an adult because I'm like, uh, none of this matters, and that is cool.
43:02 Speaker 04 How do you think you, how did you become cool? Because you are cool. You have a carefree attitude. You always look good. It's like, Marie, you've got a cool factor for sure.
43:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I got anxiety.
43:11 Speaker 04 Yeah, oh, I know.
43:12 Speaker 03 Anxiety.
43:13 Speaker 04 Anxiety.
43:16 Speaker 03 I have it, but I just, you know what it is? It's the pandemic. I was in my house and I was like, you know, I think I'm going to accomplish all the things that I want because I've also decided that the universe wants me to be happy, um, and it wants me to win. So everything that I'm supposed to do, I'll do, but I was like, I don't want to be like 75 and be like, Jim, I didn't really enjoy my life.
43:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:33 Speaker 03 So I think in order to enjoy your life, you just have to do what you want and wear what you want and say what you want. And that's, I think, what makes me cool.
43:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:41 Speaker 03 Is I'm like, none of this matters. People who overthink things and think about what everybody is perceiving about them, those people are stressed.
43:51 Speaker 03 Those people are not cool.
43:52 Speaker 04 No.
43:53 Speaker 03 Do what you want.
43:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:54 Speaker 03 You gonna die soon.
43:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
43:55 Speaker 03 Spend the money. Send the renderings.
43:58 Speaker 04 Send the renderings immediately.
44:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, but also I, you know, I wear things that I feel like I'm not gonna see somebody else wearing. So I think that's why people think I dress cool.
44:06 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:06 Speaker 03 Cause I'm like, no one else is gonna wear this. It's ugly cute.
44:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:10 Speaker 03 I love an ugly cute.
44:11 Speaker 04 Well, you make it, yeah, you make it cool. You could wear anything and make it cool. I do think that about you. You have a good, you have a good, you, you, you accessorize well and you have a, you have a cool attitude about it. So if you, you could wear the ugliest, you wear the ugliest thing I've ever seen and genuinely I'd be like, I need to start dressing like that. I would. You could influence me easily.
44:29 Speaker 03 Let me tell you, I was in, so I was in Tokyo for ten days. They are cool.
44:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:34 Speaker 03 I thought I was cool before I got to Japan. I was like, oh no, I'm the girl from She's All That.
44:41 Speaker 03 I'm that.
44:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:43 Speaker 03 Cause they dress, like, they'll put stuff together. They had me saying sentences I'd never thought I'd say, like, what an incredible blouse.
44:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:50 Speaker 03 Like, I've never said that before. Incredible blouse?
44:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:53 Speaker 03 But they dress so cool.
44:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:56 Speaker 03 And Japan, like, is such, I mean, it's like five thousand years old. They're very old. Um, but, like, so you see somebody wearing, like, the traditional, like, robe, you know, the thing with the thing, the shoes with the thing. And then you see somebody in, like, a, like booty shorts with leggings and pigtails and things on her face, like a Harajuku girl. And they coexist together and neither of them are judging each other.
45:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:18 Speaker 03 And it's just like, that's cool.
45:20 Speaker 04 That is cool.
45:21 Speaker 03 That's so cool.
45:22 Speaker 04 That is really fucking cool.
45:23 Speaker 03 I have to go back to To- Tokyo, almost. America's so ghetto compared to that place.
45:27 Speaker 04 I, I almost, I, the, okay, I moved to New York last fall.
45:32 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
45:32 Speaker 04 And I promised myself, I usually travel for, like, Christmas and New Years. And I promised myself I'm gonna stay in New York, cause I moved here and then had to go away for work immediately. And so I hadn't really settled into my place. And I was like, December, I'm spending in New York. It's like my commitment to being in New York.
45:45 Speaker 03 This December?
45:45 Speaker 04 This past one. This was last year.
45:47 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
45:48 Speaker 04 And then.
45:48 Speaker 03 I didn't see you at, at the church.
45:50 Speaker 04 I wasn't at the church. That's my bad. I wish. Send me the invite. I would love to hang out with your parents. I don't know how we'd get along, but I'd love to try. Some parents love me, some don't. It's just we have to try. Uh, but I, I was, I had committed to myself. I was like, I'm staying in New York in December. My friend hit me up and was like, hey, free hotel room for two weeks in Tokyo if you want to come.
46:10 Speaker 03 Oh.
46:11 Speaker 04 And I didn't take it.
46:12 Speaker 03 Why?
46:13 Speaker 04 Cause I had made a commitment to myself that I was like, you just went through this huge move to move to New York. You told yourself you were gonna give New York a chance. And if you spend every fucking month away from it, you're not doing the thing you said you would do. And so I had told, I had promised myself I would stay in New York and I did it. I skipped Tokyo.
46:28 Speaker 03 Who is the friend that, tell him to hit me up?
46:30 Speaker 04 I will. I'll tell, I'll tell her.
46:32 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, tell her to hit me up.
46:34 Speaker 04 I'll tell her to hit you up.
46:35 Speaker 03 I'm leaving this podcast with something.
46:36 Speaker 04 I'm leaving this podcast with a trip to Tokyo. I want the red dreams.
46:41 Speaker 03 Two weeks, free hotel?
46:43 Speaker 04 I know. And it's normally something I would so jump on, but I just was like, I felt like, I felt burnt out and I felt like I kept, I had, I had broken a couple of promises to myself before that. And I was like, this is something you need to stick to.
46:54 Speaker 03 Okay.
46:54 Speaker 04 And I'm really glad I did because then, instead of starting, there was something else that, the new year was starting crazy. Like maybe the begin, top of the year, I had to do something. I had something in January that was like starting off, uh, hectic and I can't even remember now what it is, which is funny. But, uh, I was like, you don't wanna, you don't wanna go travel for two weeks?
47:14 Speaker 03 And then come back and deal with that.
47:15 Speaker 04 And then come back and start the new year with this hectic thing. And it turned out I was really right. I felt like I started the year recharged.
47:21 Speaker 03 Isn't it crazy how we stress out about stuff? It, it like consumes us and then we do it and then a couple of days or months pass and then we don't even remember what we were so stressed out about.
47:34 Speaker 04 Uh, do you ever have that thing? Yes, I, okay, yes. And also do you ever have that thing where you're feeling stressed and you have to go, wait, what was I stressed about? And remind yourself why you're stressed out in the moment? You don't get that?
47:45 Speaker 03 Sometimes, but my memory is really bad. My memory is trash. I forget stuff that I have to do all, I forget to pay my bills.
47:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:52 Speaker 03 I mean, I pay them when they get, they send me that final termination notice. That's what I'm like, uh, I guess I'll pay, can't add.
47:58 Speaker 04 Yeah. I love, yeah, I'll get, I'll like be talking to a friend and I'll get like really sick to my stomach stressed about something and be like, oh fuck, I forgot about that thing I had to do today. And then I'll still feel the stress in my body and be talking and enjoying myself and going, wait, you were supposed to be stressed about something.
48:14 Speaker 03 Yes.
48:15 Speaker 04 And then I go, oh yeah, it was that thing. And then I feel relief that I remembered the stressful thing.
48:19 Speaker 03 Yes. Well, cause I'm, I'm one of these like, uh, go into a room to do something or pick something up and then be like, what? Like run into the room.
48:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:28 Speaker 03 And then be like, what did I, what did I need?
48:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:32 Speaker 03 Why am I here? And then I have to retrace my steps and I'm like, and then when I'm leaving my house, I'm like, huh, right. Yes, pants. Or whatever.
48:41 Speaker 03 Or I'm on the train and I'm like, oh, I forgot to put my rings on. That's like a bad day for me if I don't have any rings on.
48:47 Speaker 04 You need your rings bad.
48:48 Speaker 03 And I forgot to put all of them on.
48:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
48:50 Speaker 03 I got some pinky rings that I love. Uh, whatever. It's a lot.
48:54 Speaker 04 Uh, how did, how did you or why did you start, uh, Why Are You Single? What was that about? What was the genesis of that?
48:59 Speaker 03 Um, I, it's an idea I've had for years and I just sat on it and I'm so mad I sat on it. LOL. So mad I sat on it. Um, but uh, never mad I sat on it. But I, uh, yeah, it's just an idea I had and I didn't really know what I wanted it to be. Right? I do this thing at my shows where I ask people to give me three adjectives of what they're looking for in a, in a person. And every time I did it, it was fun for me. And I was like, this is a game. And then, um, I don't know. I was talking to people about it. I got tired of talking to people about wanting to do it. So I just started doing it and every time I do it, it's a different, it like morphs into a new thing.
49:41 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:41 Speaker 03 And so I had it last night and it was so good.
49:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:44 Speaker 03 It's so fun. It's like silly and I, I don't want people to take it too serious. And I want it to feel like a mix of like The Price is Right meets, I don't even know what, like the group chat meets any dating show you've ever watched.
49:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
49:59 Speaker 03 Right? Price is Right in that like anybody in the audience could be on stage.
50:02 Speaker 04 Yeah. I had a go last night.
50:04 Speaker 03 It was just good. Like four messy people. The way I started it was Least red flags wins, but now it's most red flags wins.
50:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:13 Speaker 03 Cause we want you to be messy.
50:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:15 Speaker 03 I want you to show up and be like, yeah, I lie sometimes. I say I'll call you and I don't.
50:20 Speaker 04 I won't, yeah.
50:20 Speaker 03 Yeah, and it's like, yes, and everyone in the audience gets a little red flag and they love waving it when they hear something they don't like.
50:26 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:27 Speaker 03 Uh, people in the audience be like, ah, and it's like, girl, you waving it, but you also have red flags.
50:32 Speaker 04 You're doing this as well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:34 Speaker 03 Right, or you see somebody like, like scratching their head and you're like, that's you.
50:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
50:38 Speaker 03 You do that.
50:39 Speaker 04 When people do, would do their three characteristics of what they're looking for in someone, did you feel they were being honest most of the time or no?
50:44 Speaker 03 Yes.
50:44 Speaker 04 You thought they were?
50:45 Speaker 03 Yeah, usually.
50:47 Speaker 04 Cause sometimes I feel like when my, I'll do, you know, you talk to your friends and be like, they'll be like, oh, I'm so tired of being single, dating's a nightmare, whatever, the thing we all say. And then you'll be like, what are you looking for? And my, my, you know, some of my closest friends will straight up lie to my face. Like, I'm looking for someone kind. I'm like, no, you're not.
51:02 Speaker 03 No, you're not.
51:02 Speaker 04 You have ditched every kind person you've dated.
51:05 Speaker 03 Well, kind is, I gotta say, kind is boring.
51:07 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:08 Speaker 03 Where's the toxicity?
51:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, you want toxic.
51:11 Speaker 03 A little bit, just a crumb of it. Too nice is not good.
51:15 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:16 Speaker 03 Not, but like, it's boring.
51:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:18 Speaker 03 But also if you're too nice, I'mma feel like you gonna murder me.
51:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:21 Speaker 03 Like.
51:22 Speaker 04 You're hiding something.
51:23 Speaker 03 You're, yeah, why? Why you being so nice to them?
51:25 Speaker 04 What are you hiding? Yeah.
51:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's unpack that.
51:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, or they'll say nothing physical and I'm like, that, sometimes that's true, but then your friend who is so, like, it'll be a friend that I'm like, you have only ever dated one type of person, you've only ever dated tall guys and you're not mentioning tall, that's feeling crazy to me.
51:40 Speaker 03 Well, usually when I ask women, we'll start with tall and it's like, girl, that's implied.
51:43 Speaker 04 Yeah, we're starting, yeah, but.
51:45 Speaker 03 Tall is already in it. It's in the renderings.
51:48 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's in the renderings. Tall is in the renderings, cake baked in.
51:51 Speaker 03 No girl is ever like, small, petite, a petite prince, girl.
51:55 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:55 Speaker 03 We know you want him to be tall.
51:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
51:57 Speaker 03 And if he's tall, and then they'd be like, nice, smart. I'm like, if he's tall, he not gonna be smart and he's not gonna be nice.
52:04 Speaker 04 If you want smart and nice, more than you want tall, we're gonna put short in there.
52:07 Speaker 03 Right.
52:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's gonna be an option.
52:08 Speaker 03 You gotta get you a little, a five seven, five eight.
52:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:12 Speaker 03 They're nicer, they're lower to the ground.
52:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, they're more humble, they're down there.
52:16 Speaker 03 Right, but a tall guy is not gonna be smart.
52:18 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:19 Speaker 03 The air is thinner up there.
52:21 Speaker 04 He's got God in his ear, yeah, he's up there, close to heaven.
52:23 Speaker 03 The air is thin, he can't spell, the text gonna be crazy.
52:27 Speaker 04 His grammar is nonexistent.
52:29 Speaker 03 No.
52:30 Speaker 04 He's tall and gorgeous.
52:31 Speaker 03 Yes.
52:31 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:32 Speaker 03 So, that, and I always say that, and they're like, tee hee, and I'm like, no, you're laughing, but I, I've done the research.
52:38 Speaker 04 Yeah, if you want a well-read king, you better get someone who's down on those, those levels of the library stats.
52:43 Speaker 03 Yeah, the low books.
52:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, the low, where they put the hard to find ones, yeah. That is so funny, tall guys can't access those.
52:50 Speaker 03 No, they don't even go to the library, why can't, why should they?
52:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
52:54 Speaker 03 They're tall.
52:54 Speaker 04 Yeah, they're playing basketball, they're in the NBA.
52:58 Speaker 03 They, all tall guys are in the NBA.
53:00 Speaker 04 Every tall guy is in the NBA.
53:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
53:02 Speaker 04 I've never seen a tall guy who wasn't an NBA player. I sat between two really famous NBA players, and I'm not a basketball guy, on a, on a flight recently, and I don't know who they were, but I know they were, I recognized their faces as like, that's a guy who was a famous basketball player and now is like a famous commentator, and I sat between both of them on the plane.
53:19 Speaker 03 Shaquille O'Neal.
53:20 Speaker 04 No, well, I wish, god, I wish it was Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal, those are my guys.
53:23 Speaker 03 They're so funny together.
53:24 Speaker 04 They're, I could cry, I love them so much, they're the funniest duo that's ever existed.
53:29 Speaker 03 I know, just like, that's the dream, right? To have a fun job, just judging other people doing the thing that you used to do, and you get to do it with your funny friend.
53:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
53:39 Speaker 03 And make lots of money.
53:40 Speaker 04 I mean, I've said this on the show, uh, several times, but the way that, the way that Shaq specifically eggs Charles on, the way that Charles would be doing, saying something, he's in the middle of saying something that is so, he should not be saying it, and Shaq would just be like, what else, Chuck?
53:59 Speaker 03 You need a friend like that.
54:00 Speaker 04 That is the best thing.
54:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, say it. Say it with your chest.
54:03 Speaker 04 Yeah, go ahead Chuck, what else? It really cracks me the fuck up.
54:07 Speaker 03 You do a good Shaq.
54:07 Speaker 04 I love him. I think about him all the time. He had a, he had a reality show on like, maybe like Max or something. I watched every episode.
54:14 Speaker 03 Shaq?
54:15 Speaker 04 Yes.
54:15 Speaker 03 What was the reality show?
54:16 Speaker 04 It was just like him living his life. It was just him like, it was like him running his businesses. He like went into a Papa John's.
54:22 Speaker 03 Isn't he also like a sheriff?
54:25 Speaker 04 Yes, he's a deputy sheriff. Shaq's reality show is prominent is Shaq life. His life, his entertainment, um...
54:31 Speaker 03 Shaq's life.
54:32 Speaker 04 I just loved, I watched every episode of it. It was fucking awesome.
54:36 Speaker 03 Who do you think is having more fun in their side quests? Shaq or Snoop?
54:42 Speaker 04 Shaq.
54:43 Speaker 03 Well, Snoop was at the Olympics on a horse. He has the show with Martha Stewart.
54:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:48 Speaker 03 He's selling Skechers now.
54:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
54:50 Speaker 03 I don't know if he's a sheriff, but he might be a lieutenant or something.
54:53 Speaker 04 He might.
54:53 Speaker 03 Like, both of them started doing one thing, did it well, and then have now done, are doing like a million other things.
55:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, that's the dream.
55:01 Speaker 03 Truly.
55:02 Speaker 04 And, you know, we haven't gotten this from her, and it makes me sad, but I don't think she wants it, but Queen Latifah. If she wanted to do, I wish she, I wish she had like, cause you know Shaq's got the DJing. Snoop's got like the, the cooking shows with Martha and stuff. I want more, as a fan of, of Queen Latifah's, I want her to do more like stuff as herself.
55:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
55:24 Speaker 04 In real world, unscripted, but I just think she's so rich and chilling.
55:28 Speaker 03 She is, and her hair always, always looks good.
55:31 Speaker 04 She never doesn't look amazing.
55:33 Speaker 03 She's never had a bad hair day from like living single days to now.
55:37 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:38 Speaker 03 Always looks good.
55:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
55:39 Speaker 03 Yeah. I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to do that.
55:42 Speaker 04 I don't think she does, and I also wish she, I, yeah, if she would dive back into music, I would be so here for it, but...
55:46 Speaker 03 Well, Cindy was telling me, um, that Queen Latifah, so Meg Thee Stallion bought Queen Latifah out at Coachella, and then like posted like videos of them like her trying escargot for the first time with Latifah and her wife. And she was like, the videos are so fun to watch. Queen Latifah is funny.
56:03 Speaker 04 Oh yeah.
56:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:04 Speaker 04 She's, she, she again, like Jamie Foxx, she's one of our true renaissance, like, she's funny, she's a brilliant musical artist, she's a seri- set it off.
56:12 Speaker 03 Set it off.
56:13 Speaker 04 She's a brilliant, serious actor.
56:14 Speaker 03 Yeah.
56:15 Speaker 04 And she can do it all.
56:16 Speaker 03 Oh wait, what's the movie that she did, uh, with that white dude, the old white guy?
56:20 Speaker 04 Steve Martin?
56:20 Speaker 03 Yes, what's that movie?
56:21 Speaker 04 Bringing Down the House?
56:22 Speaker 03 Bringing Down the House. Classic Queen Latifah movie and then Last Holiday.
56:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:27 Speaker 03 Love that movie.
56:28 Speaker 04 Last Holiday is so fucking good.
56:30 Speaker 03 Life-changing Christmas movie.
56:32 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:33 Speaker 03 Cause I was like, yeah, we all gonna die. Buy the dress.
56:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, I lo- I love Last Holiday.
56:38 Speaker 03 I love it.
56:39 Speaker 04 I love Last Holiday. It's my second favorite Queen Latifah movie.
56:41 Speaker 03 What's the first one?
56:42 Speaker 04 Set it Off.
56:43 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
56:43 Speaker 04 I love Set it Off.
56:44 Speaker 03 My friend was sad and like really going through it a couple of years ago, like during the pandemic, I think.
56:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
56:49 Speaker 03 And we were like, let's cheer her up. We all went to her house. You know, we're having like a girl's day. We're like, what should we watch? She had never seen Set it Off. We were like, let's watch Set it Off. We watch it. The saddest movie.
57:01 Speaker 04 Yeah, it's not a cheer up movie at all.
57:03 Speaker 03 The saddest movie.
57:04 Speaker 04 It's sad every step of the way.
57:06 Speaker 03 The whole movie is sad.
57:08 Speaker 04 And by the way, it's sad in every way you can imagine. It's like, it's like sexual violence sad, it's police violence sad.
57:15 Speaker 03 It's sad for every single character. Jada Pinkett has to sleep with that gross man for a check for her brother to go to college.
57:23 Speaker 04 Yes.
57:24 Speaker 03 He don't wanna go to college.
57:25 Speaker 04 He doesn't wanna go to college.
57:25 Speaker 03 They're doing the cleaning business and uh, the, what's her name? Kimberly, Kimberly Elise brings her son. He like drinks bleach.
57:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
57:33 Speaker 03 That's sad.
57:34 Speaker 04 Yeah.
57:34 Speaker 03 Um, Vivica A. Fox loses her job at the bank cause the bank gets robbed. That's sad.
57:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
57:39 Speaker 03 Queen Latifah goes out, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Sad.
57:43 Speaker 04 And you didn't even mention, by the, by the way, not only does he not wanna go to college, he gets killed by the police.
57:48 Speaker 03 Yes.
57:49 Speaker 04 It, it, the whole thing is like.
57:50 Speaker 03 The whole thing.
57:51 Speaker 04 Every step is more sad than you could ever imagine.
57:53 Speaker 03 But also imagine having sex with somebody nasty.
57:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
57:57 Speaker 03 That you don't want, for money, so for, for a good thing, for like, to send my brother to college.
58:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
58:04 Speaker 03 And then he's like, man, fuck college. No, you need to go fuck that man.
58:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, you need to sleep with him and give me my money back. Double our money, go sleep with him. Yeah, that, it really is sad, but every single one of them turns in, eh, eh, there are like five Oscar-winning performances in that movie.
58:20 Speaker 03 And not one Oscar was won.
58:21 Speaker 04 And that's what I'm saying. Queen Latifah should have gotten an Oscar for that movie and I'm never, will never stop talking about it. I love her. And if she would do a reality show, I would tune in.
58:29 Speaker 03 I don't think she will.
58:30 Speaker 04 I know she won't. And I, I actually really respect that. I don't think she wants it, but goddamn, she's funny.
58:36 Speaker 03 Do you think a movie has to be sad for somebody to win an Oscar?
58:39 Speaker 04 Yeah, I just don't think we respect comedy in that way.
58:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
58:43 Speaker 04 If anybody was gonna win an Oscar for a comedy ever, I think it would have been. Well, I guess I shouldn't say that. I I think what I mean to say is. I, when I think of an Oscar winning comedy performance, I think of Michael Keaton in The Other Guys. Have you ever seen this?
58:59 Speaker 03 Was that the Will Ferrell one?
59:00 Speaker 04 Will Ferrell, uh huh.
59:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't remember Michael Keaton.
59:03 Speaker 04 Michael Keaton plays the captain at the police station.
59:06 Speaker 03 Uh huh.
59:07 Speaker 04 Uh, he plays that role so goddamn funny. This is him in it.
59:12 Speaker 03 Oh, yes, I've seen this.
59:14 Speaker 04 Dude, The Bed Bath and Beyond, where he does it as a side hustle so his bisexual DJ son can go to NYU.
59:21 Speaker 04 I've talked about this on the show before. Well, you know what? There's actually a connection to you, me, and this movie because. We did the DC show and that guy came backstage afterwards, who I think maybe he works for Adam McKay or something.
59:32 Speaker 03 He works for Bed Bath and Beyond.
59:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, he works for Bed Bath and Beyond. But he came to the show and was like, I'm the guy who says the, um. Dancing in Highsmith, free hot dogs for life, no drinks, I can't do it. The guy who says that in that movie. Came to the DC show and we talked to him backstage.
59:48 Speaker 03 He said that to you backstage? He said, I'm the guy that says this?
59:50 Speaker 04 Yes, he's like a producer who like eh eh had a line in that movie for fun, I guess, or maybe he was an actor at the time.
59:56 Speaker 03 But how did that come up that he needed you to know that he said that?
59:59 Speaker 04 Because I talk about how much I love that line all the time. It's one of my favorite lines in a comedy movie.
1:00:03 Speaker 03 Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
1:00:05 Speaker 04 And I talk about it on the podcast and he came to the show and was like, that's me. And I was like, cool.
1:00:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, you were like, do you want some rotisserie chicken?
1:00:12 Speaker 04 I was like, have some of this cold rotisserie chicken, yeah. Have some rosé.
1:00:15 Speaker 03 Have some rosé, yes. Um, you know who else should have won an Oscar? An Academy Award for a movie, that's also kind of sad. Angela Bassett, What's Love Got To Do With It?
1:00:27 Speaker 04 Okay. I'm gonna cry because the way she played that role. I I I have ne- I have not seen something like it.
1:00:36 Speaker 03 I thought for years that that was Tina Turner.
1:00:40 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:00:41 Speaker 03 And then I saw Tina and I was like, no, that's, that's not her.
1:00:44 Speaker 04 Where's Angela Bassett?
1:00:45 Speaker 03 No, that's not, that's not her.
1:00:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, it was, I don't know wha- I don't know what channel I was watching that this was. I watched that movie a million times and I watched the Temptations movie a million times.
1:00:55 Speaker 03 Probably BT.
1:00:56 Speaker 04 Those two, it wasn't.
1:00:59 Speaker 03 Come on Kayla.
1:01:00 Speaker 04 It might have been BET.
1:01:00 Speaker 03 You come from a BET home?
1:01:02 Speaker 04 We were definitely watching BET, but I also thought maybe it was MTV. But BET makes more sense.
1:01:06 Speaker 03 It might have been VH1, because I feel like they used to play movies.
1:01:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:09 Speaker 03 But yeah, I, I, the first time I saw What's Love Got To Do With It, I was just like, like, you know, clicking through the channels and I was like, oh, what's this? And then I was like, oh my, like, and also the Temptations movie. I had never seen them from the start.
1:01:22 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:22 Speaker 03 I had only ever seen them from like halfway or like kinda close to the beginning. And every time it's on, I would have to watch either of those movies.
1:01:31 Speaker 04 Yeah, if I'm in a hotel room to this day and the Temptations movie is on, I'm just like, yeah, this is what we're watching. I thought those guys were the Temptations. And who played Ike Turner, was it Laurence Fishburne?
1:01:40 Speaker 03 Yes, Morpheus. Morpheus, now, and I, literally, like, two days ago, I was, I randomly was Googling Ike Turner. So I was looking at pictures of Ike and Tina and Angela Bassett kept coming up.
1:01:54 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:55 Speaker 03 And then when you look, she really embodied that.
1:01:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:01:58 Speaker 03 Uh, killed it.
1:01:59 Speaker 04 She's amazing.
1:02:00 Speaker 03 Her body, her voice, her, when she's wearing the white suit and they're fighting in the limo, girl.
1:02:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, she's incredible in that. Ugh, I wish, I do wish, I do, your question though about can only sad movies be like award worthy? I do wish we cared more about comedy culturally.
1:02:19 Speaker 03 I mean, comedy albums win Academy Awards. And Whoopi Goldberg won for Ghost. She was kinda funny in that.
1:02:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, but not, do you, you know what I'm saying though, like, a big studio, well, we don't really do big studio comedies anymore. But those are never considered like award winning. Like, it is something that's like very sad or dramatic or, do you know what I'm saying?
1:02:38 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, remember when Charlize won? I was like, oh my god, she didn't have no makeup at all.
1:02:42 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:43 Speaker 03 They made her look like that?
1:02:44 Speaker 04 Yeah, she looked bad.
1:02:45 Speaker 03 She did, they made her look like a monster.
1:02:47 Speaker 04 They made her look like a monster and hey, hey, they succeeded.
1:02:50 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:02:50 Speaker 04 They, they, they drew up the renderings and they accomplished it in a big way.
1:02:55 Speaker 03 She gained a bunch of weight.
1:02:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:02:57 Speaker 03 She killed a couple people.
1:02:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, she might have actually killed people for that.
1:03:01 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:01 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:03:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:03:02 Speaker 04 What was I thinking deserved an Oscar recently? Something, there was something that I watched recently that I was like, damn, that's Oscar winning. Hmm, it escapes me, but.
1:03:11 Speaker 03 It's fine.
1:03:12 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:03:12 Speaker 03 We'll fix it, we'll add it in post.
1:03:14 Speaker 04 Marie, what's so true to you?
1:03:15 Speaker 03 Oh my god, I wrote, I wrote some stuff down.
1:03:17 Speaker 04 Come on.
1:03:18 Speaker 03 Cause I was like, I literally, I was thinking about this in the shower at four AM. I was like, oh my god, yeah, that's what I was in. Cause I had to shoot some content that they've been begging me for, for the last three weeks and I was like, I have to do it tonight. Um, okay, what is so true to me? Um, well, what's on your heart? Did you wanna talk about something that's so true to you?
1:03:41 Speaker 04 No, I wanna talk about yours.
1:03:43 Speaker 03 Well, I wrote a couple of things. I don't know if any of them are good. Can we go through like three of them?
1:03:47 Speaker 04 Yeah, baby.
1:03:48 Speaker 03 And then the one that we like can stay.
1:03:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, easy.
1:03:50 Speaker 03 I think every year, once a year, we should have a pandemic for a month.
1:03:56 Speaker 04 What do you mean by that?
1:03:57 Speaker 03 Like, shut the world down for a full month.
1:04:00 Speaker 04 So you think just a shutdown?
1:04:01 Speaker 03 Just shut it down.
1:04:02 Speaker 04 Yeah, one.
1:04:03 Speaker 03 One month a year.
1:04:05 Speaker 04 Yeah, one twelfth of the year, we shut everything down.
1:04:07 Speaker 03 Yes, the whole world, everybody on mute.
1:04:10 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:04:10 Speaker 03 Or just, you know what I mean?
1:04:11 Speaker 04 I think they do that in Europe.
1:04:13 Speaker 03 It's called summer vacation.
1:04:16 Speaker 04 Truly, you can't, if you work with European people and you try to email them in the summer, good luck, you'll hear from them in October.
1:04:21 Speaker 03 Everything is time, uh, everything that I wrote is a time thing. If you pay your rent on time, every, like, you should get like a punch card.
1:04:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:04:29 Speaker 03 And like get one month rent free.
1:04:31 Speaker 04 That is really true. That is a real, that, Marie, that is my, maybe my favorite social we've ever had.
1:04:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, cause.
1:04:37 Speaker 04 I'm paying it on time every month.
1:04:38 Speaker 03 Every month?
1:04:39 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:04:39 Speaker 03 And on time is loose.
1:04:40 Speaker 04 Yeah, be- before the seventh.
1:04:42 Speaker 03 It's always gonna be before the seventh.
1:04:44 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:04:45 Speaker 03 It might be the sixth.
1:04:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:04:48 Speaker 03 But I feel like I'm paying rent regularly.
1:04:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:04:51 Speaker 03 You taking it from me. At, like, if I can get a free coffee after twelve, I should be able to get a free rent.
1:04:58 Speaker 04 A free rent, yeah, or a free upgrade of my choosing even.
1:05:01 Speaker 03 Right.
1:05:01 Speaker 04 Hey, come in here and put in a washer dryer for me.
1:05:03 Speaker 03 Hey, take this white refrigerator out.
1:05:05 Speaker 04 Get this out of here. Come and change the knobs on the, on the cabinets, I'm not enjoying them.
1:05:08 Speaker 03 The lights is dusty, put metal lights in here.
1:05:11 Speaker 04 Get in here.
1:05:12 Speaker 03 Cause it's like, what, what are we paying for?
1:05:14 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, their mortgages and their lifestyle. Mortgage, you know, landlords. You're gonna accidentally get me started. Landlord's income went up thirty percent last year. Did anyone else's? Did any, did any workers, did, did people who work at McDonald's, did their income go up thirty percent last year? No, so these people make more and more money off of us. They're colluding.
1:05:33 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:05:33 Speaker 04 I read an article like two days ago.
1:05:35 Speaker 03 Did you watch a TikTok or did you actually?
1:05:37 Speaker 04 I read an article.
1:05:38 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:05:38 Speaker 04 Um, cause it's in the newsletter of KC Tenants, the organization that I love in Kansas City. And they send out a newsletter and there's links at the bottom that are like things to be reading. And I read this article about how there's a lawsuit right now that several states are involved in. That because the landlords all got together and started using this technology that basically like put them in cahoots with each other. To instead of uh, competing in the market, which is every like capitalist like favorite thing to talk about is how great the market competition is for all of us allegedly. They just started artificially getting together and saying, hey, we're all gonna raise our rent to this amount. So that no one can find any housing that isn't this expensive.
1:06:12 Speaker 03 It's so crazy to me that the apartment will be the same.
1:06:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:06:17 Speaker 03 They're not upgrading anything. They're like painting over some light sockets maybe.
1:06:21 Speaker 04 If even.
1:06:22 Speaker 03 When someone moves out, they're like, let's add three, four, five hundred dollars to this.
1:06:27 Speaker 04 Or they force them out by saying, we're gonna raise this five hundred dollars. You can pay it or leave.
1:06:31 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'm not paying that.
1:06:33 Speaker 04 It's nuts.
1:06:34 Speaker 03 Squatters rights.
1:06:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, I'll be staying in here actually. No, I don't. Yeah, it drives me nuts. These people are, these people are criminals. So the least they could do is give us a punch card.
1:06:43 Speaker 03 A punch card. Hey girl.
1:06:45 Speaker 04 Thank you. A Simba's on us.
1:06:47 Speaker 03 Catch this in.
1:06:48 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:06:48 Speaker 03 Or hey, birthday month.
1:06:50 Speaker 04 Yeah, ooh, that'd be fun. Yeah, they're bad. They're bad. That would be huge. One month of free rent also. It's crazy to think about how, how much one month of free rent would change so many people's lives.
1:07:02 Speaker 03 Rent is like so much.
1:07:04 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:07:05 Speaker 03 Well, in New York, I don't know where you live, you, you know, it might be.
1:07:07 Speaker 04 Oh, it's up everywhere.
1:07:08 Speaker 03 It might be eight hundred dollars wherever you at.
1:07:10 Speaker 04 It's up everywhere.
1:07:11 Speaker 03 Everywhere?
1:07:12 Speaker 04 Yeah. Oh, it's, it's rising across the country. The, the rate of rent is up and it's, it's up in places, Kansas City. Kansas City actually has, and I'm very distinctly un-proud of this. Kansas City has the highest rate of rent in, increase in the country.
1:07:25 Speaker 03 What?
1:07:26 Speaker 04 Rate. Yeah. So the, the, the, from where it's been to where it's headed.
1:07:29 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:07:30 Speaker 04 Now that's, it would be hard to compete with a place like New York because it's always been expensive.
1:07:33 Speaker 03 Right.
1:07:34 Speaker 04 But yeah, the rent is raising everywhere and people can't afford it.
1:07:37 Speaker 03 What's the average price of a one bedroom in Kansas City, you think?
1:07:42 Speaker 04 I do, I did know this at one point and I feel like the average price of a one bedroom in Kansas City might have been like thirteen, fourteen hundred.
1:07:49 Speaker 03 Should we be blaming Taylor Swift and that man?
1:07:52 Speaker 04 Uh, that man. No, we should blame, um, we should and do blame landlords, private equity firms, and the government for not stepping in and regulating this shit.
1:08:04 Speaker 03 Oh, they don't give a damn.
1:08:05 Speaker 04 Well, they more than don't give a damn, they're in the pockets of these people. They make money off of it.
1:08:09 Speaker 03 So during the pandemic, uh, everybody in my building was like, you know what? We should not have to pay rent, or something like that. Like, they, they got together and they're like, we should be able to get it lowered, or delayed, or whatever, and they were like, let's talk to the landlord. And I was like, this not gonna be good for them. I already knew. I was like a Trinidadian landlord. I said Caribbean people notoriously cheap, and about their money. So they were like, let's all write an email or a letter. And I said, y'all do that.
1:08:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:08:38 Speaker 03 And they did it, and she responded, oh my god, she, like, you guys should thank the Lord that you have a place to live in this difficult time. Literally, God has blessed you with an apartment to live in.
1:08:53 Speaker 04 Queen behavior, honestly, yeah.
1:08:54 Speaker 03 You will be paying your rent as you pay your rent.
1:08:57 Speaker 04 I'm pro landlord now, yeah. That brought me over, that brought me over, I'm pro landlord. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:09:02 Speaker 03 Not even lobbying for the landlords now.
1:09:04 Speaker 04 Queen behavior. She said, it's actually godly of me to accept that rent on time, and I will be.
1:09:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:09:08 Speaker 04 Yeah, you'll be paying that rent on time.
1:09:09 Speaker 03 And will.
1:09:10 Speaker 04 And will.
1:09:10 Speaker 03 And did.
1:09:11 Speaker 04 You will pay and I will receive, thank you.
1:09:13 Speaker 03 And they were shocked, and I was like, honey.
1:09:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:09:17 Speaker 03 You're leaving here with nothing.
1:09:18 Speaker 04 You're leaving here with nothing.
1:09:19 Speaker 03 Literally.
1:09:20 Speaker 04 Yeah, I mean, some of these people are over-leveraged, that's the other thing, is like, they've gotten themselves in bad positions where they can't afford to pay their, their notes every month without the extortion of the people that live in their buildings. Cause some of the, some of the landlords have it really good, where like, they, you know, they inherited these buildings, or they got them during a crash of some sort, when the interest rates were, rates were two percent. So they can afford, like, if a couple of people don't pay rent, or if they don't have, if they, if they don't raise it five hundred bucks every, every year, they can actually afford to still pay their bills. Some of these new landlords decided that they They were going to hack their income or whatever. And they went and bought too expensive a properties and over leveraged themselves. And now they're in a bad way.
1:09:59 Speaker 03 I don't feel bad for them.
1:10:00 Speaker 04 I don't either, but I'm saying that's why they're being so, that's why they're being so evil about it.
1:10:04 Speaker 03 They don't need no more money. I think if you hit a billion dollars, like if you make money and you hit a billion, your account should reset. Or maybe it's not a billion. You, I think if you hit a certain amount, let's say, how much money do you think people actually need? Three hundred million? If you hit a hundred million, you hit a hundred million dollars, you got a, like it goes back to zero.
1:10:28 Speaker 04 How much money do you think people actually need? Three hundred million dollars?
1:10:32 Speaker 03 How much does Mariah have?
1:10:33 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah, whatever Mariah's got, you can have that.
1:10:35 Speaker 03 I think she has a half a billion dollars. I think she's worth like five hundred billion, million. Yeah, if you hit a hundred million dollars, you get a, is reset.
1:10:42 Speaker 04 I, it's, yeah, it should be humiliating to be a billionaire. If I was a billionaire, I would be embarrassed. I would literally be on the street every day being like, please take this money from me. I'd be handing out cash. I'd be like, please, please, please.
1:10:52 Speaker 03 You'd rent a hot air balloon. And you would throw money.
1:10:55 Speaker 04 I would be humiliated. I'd be like, please don't let me be like those guys. Take this, take this away.
1:11:01 Speaker 03 Have you ever thought about what a billion dollars is? And then there's people who have multiple billion dollars.
1:11:09 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, you know what? You know what trips me up though? Is when there are sometimes like people on the internet will try and do, where they're like, they're like to, just to give context to what a billion dollars is. And then they'll give an example that is so much more confusing to me than I was started out. Like they'll be like, if you took a football field and multiplied it by ten for every lot in the country that wasn't occupied by a family. And you did that ten times every day for a hundred years, you st-. I start going, hold on, can we find a different way to talk about it?
1:11:37 Speaker 03 You have like fractions on your face. You're like, you're like Winona Ryder.
1:11:41 Speaker 04 It's a beautiful mind montage. I'm like, hold on.
1:11:43 Speaker 03 You have pins with string. You're like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1:11:46 Speaker 04 Somehow I understand a billion dollars less and I'm less mad at them and not mad at you. I'm like, why are you explaining it this way?
1:11:52 Speaker 03 Right, a football field?
1:11:54 Speaker 04 They start, yeah, they start getting weird with it. They're like, if every day you made twenty dollars for every second that you weren't doing a chore.
1:12:00 Speaker 03 Let's see if we can break it down. So a million dollars is a hundred thousand dollars a hundred times?
1:12:09 Speaker 04 Wait, ten times, right?
1:12:11 Speaker 03 No, cuz then that's-
1:12:12 Speaker 04 Ten hundred thousand dollars.
1:12:13 Speaker 03 Is that what, is that what a- A million is ten hundred thousand dollars.
1:12:17 Speaker 04 Yeah, right, yeah, because it's, yeah.
1:12:18 Speaker 03 Okay, so, I'm already, I'm already like- I'm already like, whoa.
1:12:23 Speaker 04 Yeah, yeah.
1:12:24 Speaker 03 The football field?
1:12:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:12:25 Speaker 03 Ten hundred thousand dollars-
1:12:27 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:12:27 Speaker 03 Is a million.
1:12:28 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:12:28 Speaker 03 So, a million, hold on.
1:12:33 Speaker 03 So, a billion-
1:12:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:12:35 Speaker 03 Is ten-
1:12:38 Speaker 04 No, can I think about this? A million is ten hundred thousand dollars. So, ten million-
1:12:49 Speaker 04 Is a hundred hundred thousand dollars, right?
1:12:52 Speaker 03 No, my brain is broken, that's not how I do it. Let's do it the other way, let's do it the other way.
1:12:55 Speaker 04 You're right, that's like-
1:12:57 Speaker 03 Let's do it the other way.
1:12:57 Speaker 04 Yeah, okay.
1:12:57 Speaker 03 Because we're trying to get now to-
1:13:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:00 Speaker 03 A hundred million.
1:13:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:02 Speaker 03 That's one million a hundred times.
1:13:06 Speaker 04 Yeah, that is so easy, that part makes sense to me, yeah. A hundred million is a hundred millions, yeah.
1:13:11 Speaker 03 It's a hundred million.
1:13:12 Speaker 04 Yeah, that really makes sense to me, yeah.
1:13:14 Speaker 03 Now, a hundred million, ten times-
1:13:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:17 Speaker 03 Is a billion?
1:13:18 Speaker 04 Yeah, cuz it's a ten hundred million, which would be a new thing, which is the billion.
1:13:22 Speaker 03 I think we did it.
1:13:22 Speaker 04 We did it. Yeah, so a hundred million, ten times, is a billion.
1:13:27 Speaker 03 I think.
1:13:29 Speaker 03 We don't have it.
1:13:30 Speaker 04 It doesn't matter, we don't have it, and landlords are bad, landlords are bad.
1:13:33 Speaker 03 And I think if you have a hundred million dollars, that's the max. That should be the max.
1:13:38 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:38 Speaker 03 Cuz what else do you need?
1:13:40 Speaker 04 By the way, we're smart people and look how dumb we just looked.
1:13:43 Speaker 03 Ooh, math is hard.
1:13:44 Speaker 04 Trying to understand this. So, understand, that's how evil it is.
1:13:46 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:13:47 Speaker 04 The devil is working to make us look stupid.
1:13:48 Speaker 03 I took calculus.
1:13:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:13:50 Speaker 03 Pre-calculus.
1:13:51 Speaker 04 AP? I don't know what those were.
1:13:52 Speaker 03 No, it wasn't AP.
1:13:52 Speaker 04 I didn't do stuff like that. I don't even know if my school had that stuff.
1:13:56 Speaker 03 Eh, it didn't.
1:13:57 Speaker 04 Sometimes people from, sometimes people from nice schools and nice places will talk to me and they'll be like, "Well, of course, when I took college prep, la da da." I'm like, I don't, my school might have had that, but I don't, maybe I just wasn't doing it.
1:14:07 Speaker 03 I took a couple AP classes.
1:14:08 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:14:09 Speaker 04 I don't know what those were.
1:14:10 Speaker 03 It didn't matter.
1:14:11 Speaker 04 Yeah. I have a segment for you, Marie.
1:14:13 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
1:14:14 Speaker 04 True, false.
1:14:15 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:14:16 Speaker 04 This is a game.
1:14:16 Speaker 03 Love games.
1:14:17 Speaker 04 You love games.
1:14:18 Speaker 03 I play them.
1:14:18 Speaker 04 I'm gonna read you fifteen statements.
1:14:20 Speaker 03 Mm-hmm.
1:14:20 Speaker 04 You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said was true or false.
1:14:23 Speaker 03 Okay.
1:14:23 Speaker 04 And then if you get ten or more correct, I'm gonna give you fifty US dollars.
1:14:26 Speaker 03 Is that one dollar fifty times?
1:14:29 Speaker 04 So, that's basically if you have a dollar and you do that fifty times, then you have fifty dollars.
1:14:33 Speaker 03 Wow.
1:14:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
1:14:34 Speaker 03 Look out Jeff Bezos.
1:14:36 Speaker 04 He's done. Yeah, you're coming for him. Okay, fish don't blink.
1:14:41 Speaker 03 They do blink.
1:14:44 Speaker 03 False.
1:14:45 Speaker 04 It's true.
1:14:47 Speaker 04 Butterfly-
1:14:47 Speaker 03 I feel like I've seen a fish blink before.
1:14:49 Speaker 04 No, no you haven't.
1:14:50 Speaker 03 I have.
1:14:51 Speaker 04 Hey Nicole, are you keeping track of these by the way for me? Oh, I will. Will you?
1:14:55 Speaker 03 I saw Finding Nemo, they blink.
1:14:58 Speaker 03 Pixar fish blink.
1:14:59 Speaker 04 Butterflies taste with their wings.
1:15:02 Speaker 03 No.
1:15:02 Speaker 04 False, it's their feet. Milk is the most popular beverage on the planet.
1:15:07 Speaker 03 No, false.
1:15:08 Speaker 04 False, it's water. Haiti's motto is liberty, equality, fraternity.
1:15:13 Speaker 03 That's false.
1:15:13 Speaker 04 That's true. Leviticus is the third book in the Bible.
1:15:18 Speaker 03 That's true.
1:15:19 Speaker 04 That is true. A blue whale's heart can weigh up to 400 pounds.
1:15:22 Speaker 03 Do they have hearts?
1:15:26 Speaker 03 True?
1:15:27 Speaker 04 It is true. Long Island is smaller than Rhode Island.
1:15:32 Speaker 03 I don't know, false.
1:15:34 Speaker 04 False. Ms. Frizzle was the teacher in the Magic School Bus.
1:15:36 Speaker 03 Oh, true.
1:15:37 Speaker 04 True. MTV stands for millennial television.
1:15:40 Speaker 03 False.
1:15:41 Speaker 04 False, music television. Texas has the largest population of all US states.
1:15:45 Speaker 03 False.
1:15:46 Speaker 04 False, California. A human can survive a month without water.
1:15:50 Speaker 03 False.
1:15:51 Speaker 04 False, only about three days. You cannot buy fireworks in Massachusetts.
1:15:56 Speaker 03 False.
1:15:56 Speaker 04 True. Mariah Carey has won 12 Grammy Awards.
1:16:01 Speaker 03 True?
1:16:02 Speaker 04 False, only six.
1:16:03 Speaker 03 That's crazy.
1:16:04 Speaker 04 That is, that's not right, is what that is. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 14th, on July 4th, 1776.
1:16:12 Speaker 03 False.
1:16:12 Speaker 04 True.
1:16:15 Speaker 03 I knew the Ms. Frizzle one though.
1:16:16 Speaker 04 You did, big time. Omnivores eat both plants and meat.
1:16:21 Speaker 03 True.
1:16:21 Speaker 04 True, how'd she do? Nice! Let's go!
1:16:25 Speaker 03 I'm rich, bitch!
1:16:27 Speaker 04 You're a landlord now.
1:16:28 Speaker 03 I am leaving here with some.
1:16:29 Speaker 04 You guys should be blessed that Marie let you live in her building. God has sent you Marie's landlord. Marie, we love you.
1:16:36 Speaker 03 That was hard.
1:16:36 Speaker 04 That was hard, he kinda did a hard one. Chance wrote a hard one on that one.
1:16:39 Speaker 03 Yeah. Chance did that?
1:16:40 Speaker 04 Chance writes those.
1:16:41 Speaker 03 Send Chance a message.
1:16:42 Speaker 04 Yeah, send him a note. Write to him. We love you, is there anything you want to plug?
1:16:47 Speaker 03 I have a podcast. It's called Mess. I do it with Sydney Washington. It's fantastic. And I host a show called Why Are You Single? And it's all about helping people find red flags, not love. Not helping people find love.
1:17:00 Speaker 04 Not love. We won't do it.
1:17:01 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no, no.
1:17:01 Speaker 04 Not us.
1:17:02 Speaker 03 People will show up and be like, I thought I was playing for a chance at a date with you. You're not.
1:17:06 Speaker 04 No. You're not in that game.
1:17:08 Speaker 03 In this America?
1:17:09 Speaker 04 You're not in that race.
1:17:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:17:11 Speaker 04 But there is a couch you could buy if you wanted to be competitive.
1:17:13 Speaker 03 Ooh, okay. I am accepting couches and renderings. And then you can find me on Instagram, Reezy, R-E-E-E-Z-Y.
1:17:23 Speaker 04 Marie, thank you for doing it.
1:17:24 Speaker 03 Thank you for having me and waiting because I was half an hour late.
1:17:27 Speaker 04 Nah, we don't care about that. That was a HeadGum Podcast.
1:17:33 Speaker 00 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
1:18:01 Speaker 02 When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall Lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.
1:18:31 Speaker 05 The holidays sound a little different when we show up for one another. And for families facing hunger, your generosity could mean one less difficult choice. Across the Feeding America Network, your donation fulfills the promise of connecting families to nourishing food and greater stability. When you give this holiday season, you help ensure more neighbors can gather around a meal. This Thanksgiving, give at feedingamerica.org/holiday.
Previous Krysta Rodriguez Was a Child Star Next Lizzy McAlpine is The Pope Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated