Pod Insights So True with Caleb Hearon Hoja Lopez Returns About this episode Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Hoja Lopez! Hoja and Caleb talk party etiquette, the importance of high quality furniture, queer friendships, caveats, and much more!
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So True is a Headgum podcast, created and hosted by Caleb Hearon. The show is produced by Chance Nichols with Associate Producer Allie Kahan. So True is engineered and edited by Nicole Lyons. Kaiti Moos is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Luke Rogers for our show art and Virginia Muller our social media manager.
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Transcript 12,222 words · 3 speakers
0:01 Speaker 00 This is a HeadGum Podcast.
0:05 Speaker 01 People would really like me when they first met me. And then the relationship would peak at the beginning and eventually every single one of those friendships would. It was like they would get to know me and it was harder to be my friend.
0:17 Speaker 02 Why was that?
0:18 Speaker 01 You know, I was a big liar and a thief. And, uh, yes.
0:26 Speaker 02 Oh, huh?
0:27 Speaker 01 Hi!
0:28 Speaker 02 What's up, my queen? You gonna pop that water open right at the start?
0:31 Speaker 01 I don't know what to do. What to do, oh god! Everybody, watch. I think this can be sexual if you try hard enough. Are you ready?
0:37 Speaker 02 I'm feeling turned on. Oh, never mind. You blew it for me personally.
0:42 Speaker 01 Woo! Woo! Woo!
0:44 Speaker 02 What's going on, dude?
0:46 Speaker 01 Oh, my god. There's a word in Spanish called "me desvele", which means that I stayed up late, barely slept, and now I'm here. But I think you did the same thing.
0:55 Speaker 02 What? Why were you up late?
0:57 Speaker 01 Well, listen, I went to a party last night.
0:59 Speaker 02 What party?
1:00 Speaker 01 Okay, okay, as my friend first down, very well.
1:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:04 Speaker 01 But you guys, I was a hit.
1:06 Speaker 02 You were a hit?
1:07 Speaker 01 I was on fire last night. But I was on fire, but I was also allowing other people to speak. I held court.
1:16 Speaker 01 I held court. I really was at my most charismatic yesterday. It was, I really had the time of my life. And then, of course, everyone left and I started to ask, like, what's the median age here? She was like 25.
1:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:28 Speaker 01 And I went, oh, they don't know what good is yet. And so, um, I seemed like a shining star.
1:36 Speaker 02 They were drawn in by the expertise and wisdom of an older, beautiful woman.
1:40 Speaker 01 Exactly right.
1:41 Speaker 02 Who knows the world a little bit.
1:42 Speaker 01 Who knows the world a bit. I've been through at least two, like, you know, psychosexual threesomes.
1:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:48 Speaker 01 I've definitely, like, you know, dated a married person.
1:52 Speaker 02 Oh, I remember this, yeah.
1:53 Speaker 01 I've been through it, yeah.
1:54 Speaker 02 Yeah, I remember hearing about this.
1:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's huge. There is something so electric about when you go to a party and you're fucking on. Like, hold on.
2:03 Speaker 01 I could cry right now. It is, this is my stage and it's a three-bedroom apartment.
2:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:10 Speaker 01 In like Humboldt Park and everybody here is obsessed with me. And that's the thing, I'm obsessed back.
2:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:17 Speaker 01 You have to be obsessed back.
2:18 Speaker 02 I knew what kind of headspace you were in last night when you said I allowed other people to speak.
2:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:23 Speaker 02 I'm like that, because when you're on like that, it's like, I don't really have to see the mic tonight. But a generous, charismatic queen lets the other speak even when she's killing it.
2:32 Speaker 01 Absolutely, because also it's, there's a self-interest there. You know that if you keep going, you'll lose it.
2:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:38 Speaker 01 You're gonna lose them if you don't let them in.
2:40 Speaker 02 God, something to be said about that.
2:42 Speaker 01 Absolutely, and the host was so lovely. They did paint marbling, so it was like, everybody brought a piece of paper and then they did like the ink stuff. And then you kind of dip your paper, it's a very seventies sort of craft, but that's what the kids are into. It's crafts at parties.
2:58 Speaker 02 Really?
2:59 Speaker 01 Yes, and.
3:00 Speaker 02 Now, why do you think that makes me mad? That made me mad. Why did you think that made me mad?
3:05 Speaker 01 I don't know. What dark place is that for you?
3:09 Speaker 02 I don't know, like the idea of showing up to a party and someone being like, we're gonna marble paper together. It does, it does upset me a little bit, doesn't it?
3:17 Speaker 01 And there was like a corner for it.
3:19 Speaker 02 Oh, it was in the corner?
3:20 Speaker 01 It was a corner, it wasn't sort of a centrally located marbling sort of setup.
3:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:24 Speaker 01 But I've been to parties recently where there's sort of like, there's kind of like rooms that you can go into. And instead of there being like dark sex heroin, it's like, you know, like four guys playing domino together.
3:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:38 Speaker 01 And like reading a book in a corner.
3:39 Speaker 02 At the Ba'abang Club?
3:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, it's like, it is kind of the Ba'abang Club, but.
3:44 Speaker 02 I think it's only joyful to do a paper craft at the party. I wonder why it upsets me so.
3:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:49 Speaker 02 I do, I think that's probably a me problem, but I'm like, that did, that struck, that struck anger into my heart.
3:55 Speaker 01 Do you want to, do you want to give me like the? The my thesis, I'm really into Spanish right now. I don't know what's going on. This is my second word I can't conjure in English.
4:03 Speaker 02 Is it Finnish your first language?
4:05 Speaker 01 It is, yes. It is my first language.
4:07 Speaker 02 I'm really into my native tongue right now, actually.
4:10 Speaker 01 I've just been in America for 20 years that sometimes I do speak, I think officially, English better than I speak Spanish.
4:16 Speaker 02 Oh, really?
4:16 Speaker 01 And I'm better, I know how to be gay in English. I don't know how to be gay in Spanish.
4:21 Speaker 02 That is so fascinating.
4:22 Speaker 01 Yes. There's a whole culture in English of being gay that I really identify with. And then I try to be gay in Spanish and it's flat.
4:31 Speaker 02 I can only be gay in Spanish in the way of like, con lugar, sin lugar. Like who has a place who doesn't have a place, pasivo, activo. Like I can only do like, I've been in Spanish speaking countries on Grindr enough to, I can do like gay sex.
4:49 Speaker 01 You could do gay sex in Spanish.
4:50 Speaker 02 I can do gay sex in Spanish. And some of the hottest sex I've ever had in my whole entire life has been, well, sure with the guys who speak Spanish, but also just with, there have maybe, maybe been, I would say,
5:04 Speaker 02 maybe two to 5% of my sex has been with someone that we didn't speak a shared language. And, um,
5:12 Speaker 01 But you did.
5:12 Speaker 02 I liked it.
5:13 Speaker 01 But you really did.
5:14 Speaker 02 I had fun with those. I like that.
5:16 Speaker 01 What, that is so fascinating to me because there is a, where there's the ancient ritual of sex, which is very different than just, you know, miss fucking, but, um,
5:26 Speaker 02 When I'm doing it.
5:30 Speaker 01 Do you feel like connected to your forefathers in any way?
5:33 Speaker 02 Michelle got so mad when I did that. She shook her head so big. Yeah, there's no difference when I'm doing it, sweetheart, but tell you stories.
5:39 Speaker 01 Stop. You really become sort of a very forward Italian father sometimes, you know? Just too much, divulging too much information to your children.
5:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, I like sex. I like, yeah, I mean, the, the nice thing about sex with someone You, okay, when you're having sex with someone and you don't speak the same language.
5:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, I hit it.
5:58 Speaker 02 There's a beautiful thing of like, really, you always pay attention during sex if you're, if you're doing it well. But you really are like locked in, because you're like, I want to make sure that we're both, if I have to pull out the phone to be like, wait, tell me what's going on, you know?
6:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, where do you, yeah.
6:12 Speaker 02 But you can tell most things you need to know about how it's going by just really paying attention. And great sex is just paying attention, but wow, when you're really paying attention.
6:20 Speaker 01 Bless the people who get to have sex with you, my friend.
6:22 Speaker 02 Say that.
6:23 Speaker 01 Just bless the people who get to do it with you, Caleb, because like, the, if you have sex, the way that you do comedy, the way that you think about the world, I just genuinely think that you're, they're having a great time.
6:35 Speaker 02 You know, it can be. It can be.
6:42 Speaker 02 It can be a great time.
6:43 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
6:44 Speaker 02 How are, you and Rachel, your partner.
6:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
6:46 Speaker 02 Have been together for so long.
6:47 Speaker 01 Long, long-term sex.
6:48 Speaker 02 How's the sex going?
6:50 Speaker 01 You know, there is something called lesbian bed death, which I do believe that all lesbians are staving off at every single moment.
6:57 Speaker 02 Yes, I know it.
6:58 Speaker 01 And every decision that you make, day in and day out, is to save off lesbian bed death. I think women have this sort of like, peaks of desire and they're very like, hard to overlap at the same time. And so, while we don't schedule sex, there is a level of like, we've got to do it. Like, this is the good for the relationship, a lot of times. And then other times, is the most natural, fun, organic, easy thing.
7:24 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:24 Speaker 01 We've been together for nine years now, and like, she has a way, she's so horny, all the time. She's obsessed with my body, she's constantly touching it, she's constantly, and I'm going, get the fuck off of me. You're like, we have different drives.
7:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:40 Speaker 01 And so, I think I learned to, like, give in to sex first, and then she's learned more how to let the flirting and the emotional side come first. Like, we've both had to meet.
7:52 Speaker 02 Giving to sex didn't feel great to her.
7:54 Speaker 01 Sorry. So sorry.
7:56 Speaker 02 What do you mean by give in to sex?
7:58 Speaker 01 Like, like, the idea for me is that you start with flirtation and like, uh, excitement. But after you've been with someone for a while, for me personally, I don't think it's for everyone. You have to sometimes do sex first and then get into it as it's happening. You know what I mean? Like?
8:15 Speaker 02 Oh, I understand what you mean. Yeah, like order of Pimdos.
8:17 Speaker 01 Uh, Pimdos, exactly. You have to sort of decide that sex is happening and that, and you have to go with that decision. And then eventually in the first, you know, it just takes a little bit and then you're like, I fucking love this. I forgot that I was having a great time with this. Your brain just, um, I don't know what that is. I think your brain wants to continue in the inertia of like your day. I think women's brains can be very like, uh, what's the next thing? What's the like, what do I need to work on or what's, you know, what does the house need? What does my mom need? And I think Rachel's brain is very much like,
8:52 Speaker 01 literally focused.
8:54 Speaker 02 Say that.
8:54 Speaker 01 She wants to come.
8:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:56 Speaker 01 And I'm like, uh, yeah, I could, I could come.
8:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:00 Speaker 01 I could come.
9:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, Rachel, that's my boy.
9:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, she is, she's a horn dog. Okay? This woman is like, literally I have to like shoot her like little fucking looks like shut the fuck up. Cause she's like talking about my tits in front of me to our friends. I go, Rachel!
9:17 Speaker 02 Rachel, stop!
9:18 Speaker 01 Stop!
9:19 Speaker 02 Those are my tits.
9:20 Speaker 01 I kinda like it a little.
9:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:23 Speaker 01 A little, um, but I do have to.
9:27 Speaker 02 You guys never did open, right?
9:29 Speaker 01 No.
9:30 Speaker 02 You've always been monog.
9:31 Speaker 01 We, we've talked about this a little bit of like, uh, the door is open, but neither of us walks through it really.
9:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:37 Speaker 01 Um, we just, I think I, we, we, sometimes I think just don't like, this is great. Don't, let's not add more complications and variables to it.
9:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:48 Speaker 01 But I also don't find anyone that I want to make out with and have sex with a lot. So.
9:52 Speaker 02 Really?
9:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't see them.
9:54 Speaker 02 Sex, I understand. Sex, I, if I'm having, if I'm in, if I'm in a situation, if I'm in a relationship with somebody and I am falling in love with them or in love with them, sex, I'm kind of like, whatever. Maybe I'd have sex with someone else if the opportunity, if I was like away for a long time or something, I'd get horny. I also don't care if my partner sleeps with other people that much these days. But making out, I'm always wanting to make out with someone new.
10:16 Speaker 01 Oh, making out is delightful.
10:18 Speaker 02 I'm gonna cry cuz.
10:19 Speaker 01 Making out is incredible.
10:20 Speaker 02 Making out with someone new, ooh.
10:23 Speaker 01 The, the sort of like tickle of the throat. Sometimes I feel like there's a thing like just coming out of my tongue just going, kiss me. You know?
10:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, what is that?
10:34 Speaker 02 Don't fight that. I like making out with someone new. It's one of the best things that ever happens to me.
10:38 Speaker 01 Have you made out with a girl like in the last five, six years? When was the last time you made out with a girl? I didn't finish that question, but you know.
10:45 Speaker 02 The last time I made out with a girl, uh, no.
10:50 Speaker 01 No way. No.
10:52 Speaker 02 It's, it's been a long time.
10:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:54 Speaker 02 It's been a long, I'm not a, um, I will say I have a lot of friends that are, well, I think just maybe more fun and more progressive or advanced than I am. Like it feels like they're correct that they're like, making out is like a fun, like if I'm making out, it's cuz I like, it's like a sexual thing to me.
11:10 Speaker 01 You want it to lead one thing to another.
11:11 Speaker 02 It doesn't have to lead one thing to another. I'm quite happy to just make out sometimes, but I only wanna do it with people that I'm like sexually attracted to. I have friends that are like, oh my God, I'll make out with my friends just for something to do at the bar or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not, that's not really my vibe.
11:25 Speaker 01 I don't do that either.
11:27 Speaker 02 Do you know what I mean?
11:27 Speaker 01 No, I totally understand what you mean. There has to be an electric feeling. The kiss has to feel, uh, spicy.
11:35 Speaker 02 Exactly.
11:35 Speaker 01 In some way. Yeah, I feel that.
11:36 Speaker 02 It feels like making out with a friend, like I've done it, I've done it inadvertently. I wasn't doing it to make out with a friend. I've tried making out with a friend that I thought maybe there would be a spark with. And when there's not that spark of like, we might fuck, we could fuck, we both wanna fuck, who knows if we will fuck. When that spark isn't there, it just feels like making out with someone at work, like, like, like acting or on camera or something where it's like, oh, it's like, this just isn't the same. It's the, there's, there's some like spirit of making out removed from it. And I'm like, now we're just touching faces.
12:05 Speaker 01 Yeah. It could be any other body part as well. It might feel the same.
12:09 Speaker 02 Totally. I think it's cool though. When people are like that, I wish I got joy. If I could get like a, if I could get like a, um, like the same feeling from just making out with a friend, God, my life would be so easy.
12:20 Speaker 01 Yeah. Do you, when you walk into a party, do you like scan a room and do you go, who can I make out with here? Like what's the, when you walk in, what is your like prime directive?
12:30 Speaker 02 Not really. I'm not going out with the intention. Usually I'm going, genuinely, I'm usually going out. For two reasons, either I'm going out to have fun with my friends and feel alive. And it's a, I really wanna be out, or more often, I'm going out out of some sort of obligation. That I was, my need to be out, I have some reason I have to be at this thing, I told someone I would be there. Whatever. It's funny, we've been to a couple of parties this month for the movie. And I, every time have said, I'm staying for 45 minutes, doing my obligation and going home. And then I have fun, I stay out for four or five hours. But, yeah, I'm not, I'm not really ever walking into a bar or a party being like, "Who am I gonna..."
13:06 Speaker 01 "Who is it here?"
13:08 Speaker 02 But when it happens, it's so great.
13:09 Speaker 01 It is. I definitely don't scan for that, but I am doing little taste and bites of who's fun here.
13:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:16 Speaker 01 Who's interesting here, who's gonna say something crazy to me that's gonna be fun and entertaining to hang out with.
13:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:21 Speaker 01 And then I am, at times, when I'm in that mode, last night, dropping people like flies, too.
13:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:27 Speaker 01 A little bit.
13:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
13:28 Speaker 01 I can be a little cutthroat at a party that I'm trying to have fun at.
13:31 Speaker 02 Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm moving on.
13:33 Speaker 01 I gotta move on from this conversation.
13:34 Speaker 02 I'm moving on.
13:35 Speaker 01 Yeah. There, I, I got hip, well, listen, they might listen to this, but I got hip with a couple of duds.
13:43 Speaker 01 I'm so sorry if you were at this party.
13:45 Speaker 02 It's okay, we've, I've been the dud.
13:47 Speaker 01 Yes.
13:47 Speaker 02 We've all been the dud.
13:48 Speaker 01 We've all been the dud.
13:49 Speaker 02 Sometimes everyone has to play the dud.
13:50 Speaker 01 Thank you Caleb for this perspective, we've all been the dud.
13:52 Speaker 02 We've all been the dud, it's okay.
13:53 Speaker 01 And last night, they were not on their best, like, they were not the shiniest that they've ever been.
13:57 Speaker 02 I have felt myself at parties, I have felt myself in a conversation being like, "This person deserves to be talking to someone better right now." Like, I'm not, no, I'm not on right now.
14:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:08 Speaker 02 That's okay. I'm looking around the room, I'm going, there's more on people in here. I'm talking to somebody who's on right now.
14:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:14 Speaker 02 And I, I release them. I release, I go, you go talk to someone who's on.
14:17 Speaker 01 That's your power, too.
14:18 Speaker 02 Yes.
14:19 Speaker 01 To hold on to someone when you're not at your best.
14:22 Speaker 02 Tonight I'm the dud.
14:23 Speaker 01 Is a torturous thing to do to someone.
14:25 Speaker 02 Yes.
14:26 Speaker 01 It is, let them go.
14:27 Speaker 02 And you know what, let me tell you something, release them.
14:29 Speaker 01 Release them.
14:30 Speaker 02 Release them.
14:32 Speaker 01 If their eyes are glazed over.
14:34 Speaker 02 Release them.
14:35 Speaker 01 That's why it's so nice when you're around people where you don't feel like you have to host anything.
14:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:41 Speaker 01 Where you don't feel like you have to make it fun. Other people make it fun too.
14:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
14:45 Speaker 01 And you can volley and that is, I feel like all of my bones just settle. I go, oh, thank God.
14:51 Speaker 02 I know, it's electric.
14:52 Speaker 01 It's electric. And that was me at the party last night.
14:55 Speaker 02 You were in it last night.
14:56 Speaker 01 I was so in it. Oh, something else that happened. Somebody made a delicious shepherd's pie that was passed around because she hates cakes. So no cakes were allowed.
15:07 Speaker 02 I think I'm getting mad again.
15:09 Speaker 01 She was so hardcore about not wanting a cake. And so they passed around a delicious shepherd's pie with a joint lit at the top of it.
15:18 Speaker 02 I'm back.
15:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:19 Speaker 02 I'm back, unfortunately.
15:20 Speaker 01 I kind of am now, just rage baiting you.
15:22 Speaker 02 But that brought me back.
15:23 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Do you ever have moments at parties where you need to take little breaks? Like, you'll go to the bathroom, still the toilet be quiet?
15:28 Speaker 02 100%. Also, I'll go to the bathroom and I will just stand in the bathroom sometimes and do this.
15:32 Speaker 01 I'm cold. Yes.
15:36 Speaker 01 I sat in the little back, like, stair area. You know how, like, Chicago houses have that, like, enclosed stairs going up the back of homes? And I sat there by myself and a woman walked out and she saw my face. She went, oh, I'll come back later.
15:49 Speaker 02 Yes.
15:50 Speaker 01 I'll be back.
15:50 Speaker 02 God bless that.
15:52 Speaker 01 She read that sign.
15:54 Speaker 02 God bless the person who sees you having a moment and lets you have it.
15:58 Speaker 01 And just goes.
15:59 Speaker 02 Mmm, amen.
16:01 Speaker 01 Get out, you do whatever you need to do there.
16:03 Speaker 02 Let the church hear it. That is so beautiful.
16:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, you just need to regulate. You need to calm down. Nothing like a silent moment. And cold, I can't be hot and have a silent moment. That's like, that's a prison. That's a hell.
16:16 Speaker 02 One of the most exciting things that ever happens to me in my entire life.
16:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:20 Speaker 02 Is when I'm in a hot space, feeling overstimulated, and I can step out to a cold outside and be quiet.
16:28 Speaker 01 Mmm.
16:28 Speaker 02 And I need that.
16:29 Speaker 01 You have to have it.
16:31 Speaker 02 Because when I go back in there, I'm back at work.
16:34 Speaker 01 I'm back at work.
16:36 Speaker 02 I'm gonna service those people.
16:37 Speaker 01 When I went back into the party, after that, what I would call a 10-minute, sort of like, sensory deprivation chamber in the back of the house, I walked back in, killed.
16:49 Speaker 02 Yes.
16:50 Speaker 01 Killed.
16:50 Speaker 02 That's so beautiful.
16:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, I will say, and not to talk about this every single time we're together.
16:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:55 Speaker 01 No chairs in that house.
16:56 Speaker 02 God damn it.
16:57 Speaker 01 Not a wanna chair in that fucking house I could sit in.
17:00 Speaker 02 And I knew there was something about the crafting in the shepherd's pie that did let me know.
17:05 Speaker 01 It was.
17:05 Speaker 02 It wasn't gonna be a comfy seat house.
17:07 Speaker 01 Bananas, not a comfy seat house.
17:09 Speaker 02 I wanna tell thin people, I'm gonna try not to cry.
17:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:13 Speaker 02 Thin people, I'm gonna try not to cry when I say this to you.
17:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:18 Speaker 02 Thin people.
17:18 Speaker 01 Thin people.
17:20 Speaker 02 When you're buying seats for your home, I want you to think of the fattest person you've ever seen.
17:25 Speaker 01 Thank you.
17:25 Speaker 02 I want you to think of the fattest, biggest, chunkiest motherfucker you've ever encountered.
17:31 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
17:31 Speaker 02 And I want you to think, if I had them over, would they enjoy this seat?
17:35 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
17:36 Speaker 02 And if the answer is no, I'd like you to skip it, thin people. Thin people, if you can hear me. Thin people, if you can hear me right now, thin people.
17:45 Speaker 01 But they can't. You have a lot of thin fans, I feel.
17:47 Speaker 02 I do, and it's concerning because they are small and, thin people, your seats aren't working.
17:53 Speaker 01 No.
17:53 Speaker 02 And I'm not changing.
17:54 Speaker 01 No.
17:55 Speaker 02 I'm not gonna lose weight to come over.
17:56 Speaker 01 No.
17:57 Speaker 02 You need to get different chairs.
17:58 Speaker 01 And I'm gonna tell you something right now, your little mid-century fucking furniture that you purchased.
18:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:04 Speaker 01 It's a hazard to me. I will break your beautiful things.
18:07 Speaker 02 Mid-mod.
18:08 Speaker 01 It doesn't mid-mod.
18:09 Speaker 02 More like, good god. I gotta get the fuck out of here.
18:13 Speaker 01 Oh, stop! She had, their dining room table was, it was so cute. It was a bench that has the seats attached to the table, so you can't move the bench out in order to sit. So you literally have to be a certain diameter to fit it. Anyways, um...
18:31 Speaker 02 Antique. More like, I think, I'm gonna break this fucking thing.
18:35 Speaker 01 I'm gonna break this fucking thing. Have you ever broken a chair?
18:38 Speaker 02 Of course!
18:39 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
18:40 Speaker 02 Are you kidding?
18:40 Speaker 01 That's how I got my strength, I'm gonna tell you right now.
18:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:43 Speaker 01 Um, not by physically breaking a chair, but the dignity that you have to have.
18:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:48 Speaker 01 Coming back up after breaking a chair in front of a group of people is the kind...
18:53 Speaker 02 Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
18:54 Speaker 01 Absolutely.
18:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, pulling yourself out of the rubble.
18:57 Speaker 01 Absolutely.
19:00 Speaker 01 Just a hand first and then you come out ash driven.
19:05 Speaker 02 Would you?
19:05 Speaker 01 Face covered in ash.
19:06 Speaker 02 As a fat person, when you break a chair in front of other people, the way you have to roll off the wreckage.
19:11 Speaker 01 Cause you can't get straight back up, baby. You can't get straight back up.
19:16 Speaker 02 You have to roll off the wreckage onto your elbows and knees and then begin to ply your, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. You have to ply, pry yourself off the ground.
19:24 Speaker 01 Slapping away the hands of helpers.
19:26 Speaker 02 Don't touch me.
19:27 Speaker 01 Don't fucking touch me.
19:29 Speaker 02 Like Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump.
19:30 Speaker 01 Absolutely. Don't touch me.
19:32 Speaker 02 On New Year's Eve, when he wants to put himself back in his chair, you have to get yourself up. Oh, it's humiliating, but then you stand tall.
19:38 Speaker 01 You said, I can go through anything.
19:41 Speaker 02 Yes.
19:42 Speaker 01 I can do anything. Um, one, absolutely. It is invigorating to fall off a chair, come back out, break it. And then just be you again.
19:53 Speaker 02 To, yeah, to stand in, to stand in the rubble of the chair that you broke with your, just by having a body that you put on it.
20:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, absolutely.
20:01 Speaker 02 And to look around and go, everyone sit with this.
20:04 Speaker 01 Yeah. And to watch the apologists.
20:06 Speaker 02 Yes.
20:06 Speaker 01 To watch them all feel bad.
20:08 Speaker 02 Yes.
20:09 Speaker 01 They said, we should have thought of this. And I go, yes, you should have.
20:12 Speaker 02 And to watch the chair owner, and if it's a good chair owner.
20:15 Speaker 01 If it's a good chair.
20:16 Speaker 02 To watch the chair owner go, oh, there was something already kind of off with that chair.
20:21 Speaker 01 It was already a little square and loose and wobbly.
20:23 Speaker 02 Well, I sat down on it. It felt fine.
20:25 Speaker 01 It felt good.
20:26 Speaker 02 There was nothing off with the chair when I touched it.
20:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, I broke out. One, uh, there is a succession of chairs that are terrible for fat people. Number one in my mind is the Bad Bunny, uh, Puerto Rican chair, the Latino chair. It's the plastic white chair with the Corona brand on the back of it that you see.
20:42 Speaker 02 Interesting. I didn't think of that as a Latino chair.
20:44 Speaker 01 Oh, well, that's.
20:45 Speaker 02 I thought, I thought of that as a white trash chair.
20:47 Speaker 01 Oh, that's.
20:47 Speaker 02 Isn't that beautiful?
20:48 Speaker 01 Beautiful.
20:50 Speaker 02 And you, we're not so different.
20:51 Speaker 01 We're not so different, that's so beautiful. This is my feelings.
20:55 Speaker 02 Bad Bunny uses it?
20:56 Speaker 01 It's the cover of his album, is that chair. And as soon as I saw it, I said, this man is bat phobic.
21:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:01 Speaker 01 And very beautiful, and good at what he does.
21:04 Speaker 02 I don't care what his, I need to see, I need to be with him.
21:07 Speaker 01 You need to be as a body.
21:08 Speaker 02 I need to see with him about some stuff.
21:10 Speaker 01 Motherfucking.
21:11 Speaker 02 So.
21:12 Speaker 01 Ad with the little tattoos, his little facial hair.
21:17 Speaker 02 You know what sucks about me?
21:18 Speaker 01 Well, no.
21:19 Speaker 02 Guys like, like, okay.
21:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, go off.
21:23 Speaker 02 I'm gonna be sick.
21:24 Speaker 01 Wait, what, okay.
21:25 Speaker 02 Straight guys, and I'm not saying he's straight, I'm just saying, straight guys, I don't know if he's straight. Straight guys who, um, think they've got it going on. They usually do with me. Do you know what I mean? Like, when, when, when straight guys have like little tiny tattoos and wear like a fucking keychain on their belt loop.
21:44 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
21:45 Speaker 02 And like, unfortunately, like when they leave the house and they're like, I'm fine shit. Unfortunately, I usually agree.
21:51 Speaker 01 They get you.
21:52 Speaker 02 And that's stupid of me.
21:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, but it's like, are you the, are you the kind of the person that like liked the main jock guy, like the main football player?
21:59 Speaker 02 Not exclusively, but yeah.
22:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, me too.
22:02 Speaker 02 I was liking other things as well, but yes, I was sometimes into that.
22:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:05 Speaker 02 I'm not gonna lie about that.
22:07 Speaker 01 It's the confidence, um, and I believe it, I believe it with them.
22:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:12 Speaker 01 I, yes, Bad Bunny is a real, I feel a trickle on my neck with that one.
22:17 Speaker 02 Also, I'm just gonna say it, a lot of the sport, like when I, when I was developing crushes for the first time in my life, a lot of the sporty guys were nicer than like the theater kids.
22:26 Speaker 01 You're so fucking right.
22:28 Speaker 02 Kids were mean as fuck. I would talk to the theater kids and be like, I've never heard someone talk like this.
22:35 Speaker 02 I was like, I really, I feel, I feel in my soul that I should be connected with you, but I've never heard such a hateful and beautifully, like, put together string of words.
22:43 Speaker 01 Oh, a hundred percent.
22:44 Speaker 02 And I'm kinda missing hanging out with the football guys right now because they're stupid, but they're nice.
22:48 Speaker 01 More in their bodies, you know, they're more just about the experience of sort of goofily walking around and touching things.
22:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:55 Speaker 01 Theater kids are thinking too hard about every single fucking little thing, and I'm describing myself, by the way.
23:01 Speaker 02 Hello.
23:02 Speaker 01 Also, Rachel is, in this case, she is the experiential body jock and I'm the theater kid.
23:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, Rachel's like.
23:09 Speaker 01 This is our relationship, yeah.
23:10 Speaker 02 Rachel's like, like, truly showing love by like fixing your friends' transmissions and shit. And you're like sitting in the house analyzing.
23:18 Speaker 01 Oh, absolutely. I got mad at her the other day because she was going to help a friend on a car. I go, what about our car? Our fucking broken car.
23:26 Speaker 02 She's like, this is your friend, babe.
23:28 Speaker 01 It is. It's true.
23:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:31 Speaker 01 I think you can be a little, I wouldn't say more stupid, but like you can engage with the world in a lovely, sort of like open, easy way. It doesn't always have to be, um, criticism, not in a bad way, but just a, a sort of decryption of every little fucking interaction and every little thing, you know?
23:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:52 Speaker 01 But we've reached a lull in the conversation. Are you feeling it right now? Like, where do we go from here? Well, I just thought, what's next?
24:00 Speaker 02 That's so interesting. I was thinking in my head, what do you think is the best and worst thing about you? That's what was going on in my head. If about yourself.
24:07 Speaker 01 About myself?
24:08 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:08 Speaker 01 The best and worst thing about me. It's a really good question.
24:12 Speaker 02 Cause I only think of good things when I think of you.
24:13 Speaker 01 That's so sweet. That's wonderful.
24:15 Speaker 02 Based on my deep love for you.
24:21 Speaker 01 I'll start with best, cause yeah, um, it's just the number one good thing. Let's start with that one.
24:29 Speaker 02 Cause yeah, that one's fun to answer.
24:30 Speaker 01 That was fun to answer.
24:31 Speaker 02 And the other part sucks.
24:32 Speaker 01 The other one, we'll see if we get to it. We'll see if I can like sort of prolong that one.
24:36 Speaker 02 Let's both do best and then see if we get back to worst.
24:38 Speaker 01 If we get back to it.
24:39 Speaker 02 Do you know what's funny about me?
24:40 Speaker 01 What?
24:40 Speaker 02 I, speaking of worst things about you.
24:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:44 Speaker 02 About, not about you, about worst things about me.
24:46 Speaker 01 Okay.
24:47 Speaker 02 Sometimes I can't help, but when I picture people criticizing me, I can't help but to imagine that they had caveats. Have I said this on here before? Like sometimes, like sometimes I'll be like, I'll be like, oh, I wonder if that person doesn't like me. And I'll be like, what would they say if they didn't like me? And then I'll imagine them saying like, he's so annoying, but he is funny.
25:09 Speaker 01 So it's like the worst thing comes with still.
25:12 Speaker 02 Like I imagine caveats sometimes when I imagine people criticizing me. That I'm like, that I'm like, they would be right to say that I am annoying, but I think they would have to admit that I am fun. You know what I mean? Or I'll like, sometimes my brain will just naturally create caveats.
25:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, you, you want an out.
25:29 Speaker 02 I, my brain needs it.
25:30 Speaker 01 Well, there's no absolutes. You're not always bad. You're not always good.
25:33 Speaker 02 Well, and I think it's because, I think, I think it comes from a place of even the people I dislike the most in the world. I do caveats for them.
25:40 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
25:41 Speaker 02 I, and not even in my own brain, I go like, God, that person is such a fucking asshole, but credit to them. They are a good painter, you know, or what, or whatever the thing is.
25:50 Speaker 01 Whatever the thing, yeah.
25:51 Speaker 02 I do that.
25:51 Speaker 01 I totally do that, too. I, um, I definitely, I was just, not to bring up, but I was just reading a nun's book.
25:59 Speaker 02 Okay.
25:59 Speaker 01 Helen Prejean's book.
26:01 Speaker 02 Yes.
26:01 Speaker 01 Um, and.
26:02 Speaker 02 She the prison abolitionist?
26:03 Speaker 01 Yes, sorry to bring up prison abolition right now, but.
26:06 Speaker 02 This is good.
26:06 Speaker 01 All that to say is that if the worst fucking dude who's a fucking murderer and, and that she has found a way to unconditionally love that person, I go, okay, what can I bring about that in my life? How can I look at an asshole and be like, okay, I know why you're an asshole. The explanation helps. We don't need to hang out, but I see your value.
26:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:25 Speaker 01 As a person.
26:27 Speaker 02 Oof, that's hard.
26:28 Speaker 01 It's so hard. It's, I mean, especially now, it's so fucking hard to look at people and think of like, what you love about them when you hate them and they seem to hate you. But, um, uh, the best thing about me, just to really move through to that, um, I think I'm someone who is very inclusive. I really want to, uh, bring people close and I desire that intimacy with everyone and I'm not afraid to go for it with people that I meet, with, um, friends, with friends' friends. I'm a pursuer of intimacy and care and love and I love that about myself. And I think the friends that I have, uh, um, uh, have come to me in a lot of different ways,
27:13 Speaker 01 say how much they appreciate that closeness that I almost like demand of people that are in my life. It's like, I want to know everything about you. I want to know every, like what you're thinking about little things and big things. And, uh, I, yeah, I pursue it like rapidly. It's where I get all of my energy is that. Um.
27:30 Speaker 02 I think that's true about you.
27:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, oh, that's right.
27:32 Speaker 02 I think that's deeply true about you. I think that's a beautiful one.
27:34 Speaker 01 Thank you. Yeah, I love that about myself. And then I would say maybe my worst quality.
27:38 Speaker 02 Oh, we're doing it. Okay, wow.
27:39 Speaker 01 No, we're going.
27:40 Speaker 02 Oh, okay.
27:41 Speaker 01 Um, I love talking about myself, so this question is perfect. Um, I would say that the worst part of myself is I can be, on the other side of the coin, very judgmental and critical.
27:53 Speaker 02 Wow.
27:53 Speaker 01 Um, and that sometimes I can, uh, take away the joy of moments, um, by,
28:06 Speaker 01 criticizing things through the lens of my insecurity, my lack of knowledge, my, like, uh, desire to feel better about myself.
28:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:14 Speaker 01 And so sometimes I can tear shit down in my brain and in my heart because I'm not feeling good about myself.
28:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:21 Speaker 01 So, and I have to really, I have to quiet that voice down.
28:27 Speaker 02 Interesting.
28:28 Speaker 01 Quite often. And it affects people negatively in my life, that criticism and that, like, uh, yeah.
28:34 Speaker 02 That's interesting.
28:35 Speaker 01 Hmm.
28:36 Speaker 02 I don't see that about you very often.
28:37 Speaker 01 Well, I hide it so well.
28:38 Speaker 02 I know. Well, that's nice. The, the worst thing about you being like a bad day scenario, rather than a constant through line, is a nice thing. That means you're doing good work. That means that you're like, you're, um, establishing, yeah, you know your stuff and you're like working on it and doing good.
28:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I don't, um, I for, I don't know if you had this, but for many years thought I was terrible and a bad person and.
29:00 Speaker 02 Really?
29:00 Speaker 01 Uh, oh, yeah. I spent, probably until like maybe 27, really thinking the worst of myself. Like, I was, oh, I, I, it was, uh, peaks of like, uh, sort of, uh, delusional charisma and then, uh, couldn't back it up with any real substance of friendship. It was really hard. People would really like me when they first met me.
29:21 Speaker 02 Hmm.
29:21 Speaker 01 And then the relationship would peak at the beginning and eventually every single one of those friendships would. It was like they would, uh, get to know me and it was harder to be my friend.
29:31 Speaker 02 Why was that?
29:32 Speaker 01 You know, I was a big liar and a thief.
29:34 Speaker 02 And, uh, yes.
29:37 Speaker 01 I um, yeah, they.
29:39 Speaker 02 All of my lying and stealing, of course.
29:42 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, yes, I was a big liar, a big sinner.
29:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:44 Speaker 01 Um, no, I was a big like, uh, I think just toxic ass, full toxic bitch, you know? And I was, it was also mired in a, in a lot of charisma.
29:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:55 Speaker 01 In a lot of like dictatorship over my friendships.
29:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:58 Speaker 01 And, uh, it was, uh, yeah, uh, until I was probably about 27 or 28. Uh, truly, uh, thieving and making excuses for it, babes.
30:08 Speaker 02 You stopped stealing.
30:08 Speaker 01 Oh, I stopped stealing. I think there was a little klepto style stuff going on, you know? Uh.
30:14 Speaker 02 I, I'm, I want to ask though, how did you, I, I'm sure, I'm sure there are people listening to this that are relating to at least some piece of this. I don't know about the lying and the thieving, but, uh, how did you, I think more broadly, like you identified that, that your relationships weren't going the way you wanted them to.
30:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:32 Speaker 02 Then you ident, you did probably the harder part, which is, I think many people can identify like, life kind of isn't going the way I'd like it to go.
30:38 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
30:39 Speaker 02 Then you did the harder part of identifying your role in it, which is one of the hardest parts of self-improvement and happiness is realizing that you, you have a shared creation in every dynamic you're a part of, whether you like it or not. You're not a victim. You are playing a role in every dynamic that you're in, whether it's allowing bad behavior or participating in bad behavior. So you recognized your role in it and then you made a change. Was there a person that said something to you or a thing you read or like? What happened that helped you change the behavior that was making you unhappy? Do you know?
31:10 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. Um, I was.
31:13 Speaker 02 Is it really dark and deep?
31:14 Speaker 01 No, it's not dark and deep. It's not dark and deep. It's, I, my friend James, uh, who I love so much, he, I, he had this amp at my house and I couldn't pay my rent and I sold his amp and took the money and paid my rent.
31:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:31 Speaker 01 And it caused a ripple effect in my, in my friend group at that time. People that were very close to me and all of them were like, hey, we just can't abide by this behavior.
31:40 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:40 Speaker 01 We're done. And so.
31:42 Speaker 02 Right, that sucks. Yeah.
31:43 Speaker 01 And so I lost my entire kind of close circle of friends in that moment at 27, 28. And, uh, they sort of created a lot of boundaries around me and it was barbed wire boundaries too. It wasn't just like, you can't come around. It was like, get the fuck away.
32:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:01 Speaker 01 And, uh, that really.
32:04 Speaker 01 You know, you're alone in a fuck, like in a room. And, you know, who do you call? Your mom, you know what I mean? You call your fucking mom, because it's the only fucking person in your life that is gonna still talk to you at that point.
32:17 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:18 Speaker 01 And so I called my mom, and she really honed in on this thing that I really have taken very seriously ever since, which is like the, the forgive yourself and then you can move on.
32:28 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:28 Speaker 01 Like, and I always got stuck, the wheels got stuck in the forgiving myself part. God, this is so self-helpy, Caleb, but like, truly.
32:35 Speaker 02 No, I doubt it.
32:36 Speaker 01 Now, I fuck up, I go, I forgive myself, you fucked up, move forward, you can make amends from that point on. If you stick around and you're like, ah, I did this thing and it was so fucked up. Like, of course, you're gonna think about it and figure out what your part in it was, but don't let that get in the way of like actually making amends with people and changing things.
32:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:56 Speaker 01 I find that if you get too stuck in the like, I'm a fuck up and I'm bad.
32:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:00 Speaker 01 That was the shift, just like, actually, I'm not bad. I forgive myself, even if no one else does.
33:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:05 Speaker 01 And that really started a whole new era of my life. Um, that was so much fucking fun.
33:12 Speaker 02 Well, you have such beautiful, deep, rich, varied friendships in your life now.
33:17 Speaker 01 Absolutely.
33:17 Speaker 02 So it obviously worked. I think the thing you're talking about, though, of am I a good person, am I a bad person? I think about this a lot with am I a happy person or not, etc. The line of thinking of am I X, Y, or Z type of person
33:28 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
33:29 Speaker 02 is to me inherently negative. I don't really worry about if I'm a good or bad person, I worry about if I am doing good or bad.
33:35 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
33:35 Speaker 02 Like, it's, sometimes we will all do bad, and sometimes we will all be mean, and sometimes we'll all be negative, and sometimes we'll all be critical, or selfish, or whatever. Those behaviors occur naturally, like, in human life.
33:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:47 Speaker 02 That doesn't mean you are, behaving selfishly on a Monday doesn't mean that every day thence forward that you are a selfish person, capital A S P. It just, you were selfish on Monday.
33:58 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
33:58 Speaker 02 And I, I don't know, the, the, the focus on, I think shifting the focus on, um, from what type of person am I to how am I behaving is way better. Cause it allows you to be like, oh, I was kinda bad yesterday, or, or I've noticed that lately I've shown up uh, in X way in my friendships, or whatever.
34:18 Speaker 01 Oh, and to have a lovely friend who calls you and goes like, hey, I noticed you've been interrupting me a lot lately. I had a friend call me about that, like, a couple of months ago.
34:25 Speaker 02 Oh, my god.
34:26 Speaker 01 She was like, hey, I just wanna let you know, I feel like you've been interrupting me a lot lately. She goes, I'm not mad or anything, I just wanna let you know it's happened four or five times.
34:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:34 Speaker 01 Um, and that's it. I just have that for you.
34:38 Speaker 02 I'm six, I'm six, one, half dozen the other on that because
34:41 Speaker 01 Okay.
34:42 Speaker 02 Did you feel like you were interrupting them a lot?
34:44 Speaker 01 Um.
34:44 Speaker 02 Do you feel like it was based in truth?
34:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, there was something going on between us.
34:48 Speaker 02 Great.
34:48 Speaker 01 That, like, I'm gonna be honest, I felt like she was being a, she was just talking to talk.
34:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:55 Speaker 01 Talking to talk, talking to just to say stuff.
34:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:57 Speaker 01 And sometimes when I feel like people are just like wanting to hear their own voice a lot.
35:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:01 Speaker 01 And I told this to her, um, I'll be like, let me redirect this a little bit. And this is my organizational skills and benevolent manipulation, I could probably stop doing that. I don't need to do that all the time.
35:13 Speaker 02 The reason I'm, the reason that bumps me is because I think always you're welcome to voice, uh, any relationship I have in my life, I would welcome someone voicing their concern. I just have been in friendships sometimes that I've had to like, not cut off, but like slow down or pull the brakes on a little bit that like, I, I just won't engage in like constant evaluation and criticism. And so sometimes those things, I'm like, like, I feel like you've been cutting me off a lot lately. It's totally fine if I'm doing that, and if I recognize the behavior is true, I'm happy to hear it and we'll change course. But sometimes I've been friends with people that are so therapized and so critical and constantly evaluating that I'm like, you're not wrong, but if it comes up all the time, I'm gonna eventually get the vibe that we just aren't a fit.
35:59 Speaker 02 Like, there are just certain times that I'm like, I don't wanna hear from you anymore about your little evaluations and criticisms of our dynamic. At a certain point, you might just not like, like talking to me, and we should stop doing it so much.
36:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:11 Speaker 02 Like, not every relationship is worth so much work.
36:15 Speaker 01 That is, that is such a hard thing to learn too, because we, right now especially, I think, are taught like, preserve the friendship, keep moving, move through stuff, work through stuff, and it's like, actually. You just have a nicer time if we hang out less.
36:28 Speaker 02 To a point.
36:29 Speaker 01 Less.
36:29 Speaker 02 There are some relationships, I think there are relationships, you'll identify them, you'll know what they are in your heart. There's no hard and fast rule, which is why I would never be like, don't tell me I'm interrupting you. Sometimes it's nice to hear those things and I have friendships and like Holmes and I are very honest with each other. And Holmes, Holmes is the type of relationship that I've had for long enough and has been beautiful enough and we've been through enough that anything Holmes says to me about my behavior, I'm gonna listen. But then there are more like tertiary friendships that I'm like, damn, the last like six times we've talked, you've had some weird gripe about our dynamic. And whether it's valid or not, I just think we need to spend less time together. Like, maybe we're just not a match and that is so fucking fine.
37:06 Speaker 01 It's so fine. Have you been able to say that to people and them react positively?
37:10 Speaker 02 I've done it both ways. Like, there have been times where I've naturally put distance between a relationship and they've, we've kind of tapered off a little bit and I haven't put words to it because they haven't asked. And I feel like sometimes that's generosity. Like, sometimes it's like.
37:22 Speaker 01 It's your little white lie. It's a different version of that, of like, the distance can be enough.
37:26 Speaker 02 You don't wanna hear about it. Also, I don't owe you a thesis on why we're not talking as much lately. Everyone's busy and we're adults. Anytime someone asks, I will tell. If someone's like, hey, I feel like there's distance, I will absolutely be like, yes, I'm putting distance because you've been on my nerves. And every time we talk, I feel like it's a criticism and I'm just really not feeling it. And so, that's what it is. And I've, I've distanced friendships and been like, hey, I just really think we're not on the same page. And it almost really never spawns from a criticism of our dynamic. It almost always is a recurring thing that I'm like, I'm not really digging the energy lately. And that's okay.
38:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:02 Speaker 02 I would say, by the way, maybe this has happened six times in my life.
38:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, not that much, yeah.
38:10 Speaker 02 This doesn't come up a lot.
38:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, I feel the same way. It doesn't come up too much. I feel like I've gotten good at being like, I'm gonna take a little step. You're a dinner friend. You're not a come over to my house and hang out friend.
38:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:20 Speaker 01 You're a hang out with a group of people friend. You're not a one-on-one friend. It's so fucking cool, though, to know the difference because I, I feel like you can get along with so many more people and enjoy so many more people by keeping them at the right, sort of like.
38:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
38:34 Speaker 01 Distance, sort of.
38:34 Speaker 02 And also, there's a real art and importance, I think, to. Learning who you should be taking notes from.
38:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:41 Speaker 02 I don't need.
38:41 Speaker 01 Like, what do you mean by that?
38:42 Speaker 02 I don't need notes from everybody.
38:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:44 Speaker 02 I don't need to hear what everyone thinks of my art or behavior or work or attitude or disposition. I don't, not everyone's notes are valuable.
38:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:53 Speaker 02 Like, there just are people that I meet and we get into, like, we're in a work relationship or a friendship or a romantic, like, entanglement. And sometimes you hear the note and you go like, oh, I actually don't need to hear notes from you because I actually don't like the way that you're moving. Or I don't think that your notes are valid. I think about this a lot more in a work context.
39:11 Speaker 01 This is helping me so much right now. Oh, direct it, bitch.
39:13 Speaker 02 Really?
39:14 Speaker 01 Oh, absolutely.
39:15 Speaker 02 We've made contact?
39:16 Speaker 01 We've made contact. It is, like, vibrating inside of me right now. And it's literally, I'm going, I know what to do about this particular situation I'm going through. One hun- very helpful.
39:25 Speaker 02 Well, you think about it, why would every note from every person be valuable? Would you let a stranger on the street tell you about yourself?
39:31 Speaker 01 No, no.
39:32 Speaker 02 Every note is not valuable.
39:33 Speaker 01 Although they do.
39:34 Speaker 02 They do, of course.
39:35 Speaker 01 Strangers love to say a little thing to me sometimes.
39:37 Speaker 02 Same.
39:38 Speaker 01 Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's mean. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's mean. Sometimes it's mean, yeah. I go, I don't need your opinion, but thank you.
39:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, thank you for sharing it.
39:48 Speaker 01 Thank you for sharing that.
39:48 Speaker 02 I think it comes up more for me in a work context where I'm like, sometimes people want to give you notes that I'm like, well, you haven't made anything that I love.
39:56 Speaker 01 So why?
39:56 Speaker 02 So I actually don't want to hear from you about my work. And there's zero malice in that.
40:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:00 Speaker 02 It's just like, you're doing something different than I'm doing.
40:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:02 Speaker 02 I'm not going to take notes from somebody who hasn't made something that I love because in what world would that make sense? And I think sometimes when you're, when you're a nice person or you're a kind person, we want to be like, we want to hear everything with an open heart and keep the heart open. But sometimes openness doesn't mean, sometimes openness means letting a thing in and letting it walk around for a second and then releasing it.
40:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:27 Speaker 02 Openness doesn't mean that you hang on to anything that anyone says to you.
40:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's, I think that, you know, when I said the thing that I like about myself, the intimacy piece.
40:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:35 Speaker 01 Is that, and the inclusivity piece, my, like, DNA, my, my brainwaves are like, want to be open to everyone. They, I wanna let people in, cuz that's how I sort through.
40:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:45 Speaker 01 Like, who, like, who can be close. But I do think that, that there is a level of, like, exhaustion that comes from that, like, desire, and from letting people in in that way. And I do, I very much, what do you think? What do you need? What do you want? And, um, it causes me trouble, of course.
41:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:03 Speaker 01 Not big trouble, but a little bit of trouble.
41:06 Speaker 02 Well, that's the other thing is like, I don't know, my life is pretty, not big trouble, but a little trouble.
41:11 Speaker 01 That's how I feel.
41:12 Speaker 02 Story of my stuff, where I'm like, my life is pretty cool. My relationships are like, in really good places. I mostly don't have conflict. God, in my early twenties, I had some friendships that I really had to let go. Like, those six people are all pretty much from my early twenties.
41:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:26 Speaker 02 That like, I just had really turbulent relationships, and now I'm at a place in my life where I'm like, that was crazy. I actually don't have turbulence in my life like that.
41:35 Speaker 01 If there is a level of turbulence or discomfort in my life, it's like, because I don't have it that often, it's like a fucking light focus on the discomfort and the problem. Uh, and it becomes, like, I go, why is that happening? And I have to figure it out and try to push it away, um, or try to solve it, really. But, uh, yeah, I feel the same way.
41:59 Speaker 02 See, that's interesting, cuz I, because my, my work life, and my love life, and my family life, and my friend life, pretty much, mostly cool. Like, I really don't, like I said, I don't have a lot of, like, huge conflicts or crazy mess. So I do sometimes feel myself getting sucked into a small thing and getting really upset about it.
42:17 Speaker 01 Yes.
42:17 Speaker 02 And I have to stop myself and go like, wait, this actually isn't that big of a deal, and I'm kind of giving it more weight than it needs to.
42:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:24 Speaker 02 And like, actually, everything's pretty okay, and I can relax.
42:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:28 Speaker 02 But I have a tendency to get like, It's almost like you want to be invested in something. You're like, you're like, oh, I-
42:33 Speaker 01 Well, drama is like fuels.
42:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:36 Speaker 01 A little bit of drama when I'm, don't have it, when I'm drama dry.
42:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:39 Speaker 01 I will lock on to that shit and try to-
42:42 Speaker 02 You feel yourself on your seventh phone call to a friend about it and you're like, I'm not getting anything from this.
42:46 Speaker 01 That is how you know it's too much.
42:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:48 Speaker 01 You go, wow, I've talked about this five fucking times in the last, like, three days.
42:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:52 Speaker 01 But that is a way of, uh, you're exercising the problem. You're just like framing it over and over and over and over again until you get fucking tired of yourself and then it gets removed from the dock.
43:02 Speaker 02 There's an interesting thing when you're retelling drama, the first like three or four people you talk to about it, you're finding the beats.
43:09 Speaker 01 You're finding the beats, babe.
43:11 Speaker 02 You're like, you're like finding the beats where you're like, okay, that part needed to go a little later and the reveal will seem crazier if I do it this way. And then like the fifth or sixth person you talk to about it, you go like, I found the story.
43:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:20 Speaker 02 I know what the drama is, you know?
43:22 Speaker 01 And you know what the most fascinating emotional parts of it are. You know who's the villain, but also you have caveats for the villain.
43:29 Speaker 02 Caveats for the villain, that's always important.
43:31 Speaker 01 Caveats for the villain.
43:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:32 Speaker 01 Yes.
43:33 Speaker 02 You've made yourself the most reasonable character in the drama.
43:35 Speaker 01 Yes, but you admit to some fault because it's not-
43:38 Speaker 02 You admit to your fault in the drama because you know that-
43:39 Speaker 01 That's right, baby. That's how you become, that's it.
43:42 Speaker 02 The way to tell the story.
43:44 Speaker 01 God, it's sickening.
43:45 Speaker 02 If you stop right there, if you stop and let it go and move on or go to the person or when, if you stop right there, life is good. On the seventh or eighth retell, when you've already nailed the story, you've already figured out your feelings about it, there's nothing else to really discuss.
43:57 Speaker 01 You're telling the same person again.
43:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
43:59 Speaker 01 You're telling one person and that person is on the other end of it just, like, just taking it.
44:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:06 Speaker 01 You gotta stop.
44:07 Speaker 02 That's when, ideally you stop before that, but if you catch yourself there, then it's like, you really gotta move on.
44:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, and if you write it, it only takes like one or two times, which is sickening too.
44:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:17 Speaker 01 It's like, just write it.
44:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:18 Speaker 01 But-
44:19 Speaker 02 I've definitely told friends I can't talk about this anymore.
44:21 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, me too.
44:22 Speaker 02 I've said, hey, I'm so sorry. I don't want to hear about that conflict anymore.
44:26 Speaker 01 I can't hear, it's over.
44:27 Speaker 02 Your coworker sounds like a bitch. I'm done hearing about it. I love you to death. I gave, I gave, I did my part. I nodded so emphatically through the first telling. On the fifth one, we're gonna have to do solutions or move on.
44:37 Speaker 01 They find little colors, little flavors, though, in the fifth telling. They're still not landing on the story, is what's going on.
44:43 Speaker 02 But I need to move on.
44:43 Speaker 01 We gotta move on.
44:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
44:45 Speaker 01 Um, do you, um, do you find yourself, are you good at knowing if you're talking too much? Do you ever find yourself in that situation?
44:53 Speaker 02 I don't think that's one of my problems. I have, I have problems, but I don't think that they're, I don't think that me talking too much is usually one of them.
45:02 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah.
45:03 Speaker 02 I, I, I do, so I have, I have talked too much. But I think I'm pretty good at, um, asking questions and moving on.
45:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:12 Speaker 02 At least I hope so, because it's one of my biggest pet peeves.
45:15 Speaker 01 When other people talk too much.
45:16 Speaker 02 When somebody is on like the, I'll say 23rd minute of a story that should have been six minutes. I feel myself being like, right, right, right, right, right. And, and anyway, anyway, anyway, what's everyone's favorite color? Like, I'm like, let's get the fuck off of this.
45:30 Speaker 01 It's the redirect.
45:31 Speaker 02 Yes.
45:31 Speaker 01 You have to redirect because you are counting the beats in the room. And you know, it's been talked about for too fucking long.
45:36 Speaker 02 And I'm, I'm like, the craziest thing to me is I'm like, how are you not feeling?
45:40 Speaker 01 How are you not feeling?
45:42 Speaker 02 Three times, that person just went to the bathroom, even though they were in there 10 minutes ago.
45:44 Speaker 01 It's the eyes glazed over at the party, release them.
45:47 Speaker 02 Release them.
45:48 Speaker 01 Release them, baby.
45:49 Speaker 02 We're releasing them.
45:50 Speaker 01 We're releasing you.
45:51 Speaker 02 The power of release.
45:52 Speaker 01 The power of, let you, yeah, but again, the caveat.
45:56 Speaker 02 Yeah. Trying to think of the last time I talked too much.
45:59 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
45:59 Speaker 02 Last time I watched someone's eyes glaze over when I was talking. I don't know if I can place it. When was it? When was it?
46:08 Speaker 02 Did I have, I, I know, I remember this.
46:09 Speaker 01 I don't know why I'm thinking, I'm going, when was it?
46:11 Speaker 02 When did he do it? I remember this sensation sometime in the last two months. I remember I had the sensation of saying something that didn't go over and feeling embarrassed. But I can't remember what it was. But that's a nice thing about my brain.
46:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
46:27 Speaker 02 My brain will move on.
46:28 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
46:29 Speaker 02 I've trained myself to be like, to be like, that didn't happen.
46:33 Speaker 01 Do you do that little thing where you kind of, yeah, you kind of trail off right at the end? Or do you go, I'm fucking losing them, but I'm going deep in?
46:40 Speaker 02 If I've locked in, because a lot of times what will happen is you realize.
46:44 Speaker 02 You're in a circle of seven and you realize you've lost six of them, but you find the one person.
46:49 Speaker 01 And then you will hone in on that one.
46:51 Speaker 02 But, but, but, but anyway, and you're like, and so then they're, they're your target.
46:55 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Okay. This happened to me recently and okay, I was in a group of seven or eight people.
47:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:01 Speaker 01 And there were two very powerful speakers who did not want to stop speaking.
47:04 Speaker 02 I remember you talking about this. Yeah.
47:06 Speaker 01 And I want to tell you this because this is so stupid, but these two people would then realize that neither of them were going to stop talking, right? And so they would each individually attach to the person closest to them and continue speaking, creating what I can only call a fractal of division, um, in which now half of the group is talking, uh, is holding court with this person and the other half of the group is holding court with this person essentially. And I'm observing the entire thing happen going, I just want to be together, guys. I just, and I keep trying to push the two groups together. They were too powerful.
47:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:40 Speaker 01 They were too powerful and they did not notice that they were doing it over and over and over again.
47:45 Speaker 02 Then you know what? Can I say, I'm happy for them.
47:48 Speaker 01 Yeah.
47:48 Speaker 02 That sounds like they had a beautiful evening.
47:49 Speaker 01 They had a great time.
47:50 Speaker 02 I bet they went to bed feeling like, what a night.
47:52 Speaker 01 What a beautiful evening.
47:54 Speaker 02 Isn't that nice?
47:55 Speaker 01 It is. Well, I do think delusion is correct and there are ways in which you and I are delusional and we don't totally know about it yet and I can't wait to find out.
48:04 Speaker 02 I know that I'm delusional.
48:05 Speaker 01 Oh, it's part of life.
48:06 Speaker 02 And by the way, I know that I'm annoying.
48:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:09 Speaker 02 You think I don't know that I'm annoying?
48:11 Speaker 01 Oh, annoying.
48:12 Speaker 02 Of course I'm annoying. Listen to me.
48:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:14 Speaker 02 I'm fucking annoying, but it's awesome the way that I'm annoying. And it's a beautiful type of annoying.
48:20 Speaker 01 It's gorgeous.
48:21 Speaker 02 No, I am annoying. I, I'm happy to be annoying though. I'm fine with it because if the alternative is being boring, like I do need to remind myself sometimes that when people are annoyed with me, I'm like, only boring people are like unobjectionable all the time. I don't want to be a boring person. I would rather be annoying.
48:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
48:41 Speaker 02 That's my take about me.
48:43 Speaker 01 That's really beautiful.
48:44 Speaker 02 The best thing about myself is that I am loyal. I think that's maybe my favorite thing about myself.
48:49 Speaker 01 I'm so sorry I didn't ask it back. Thank you for offering.
48:51 Speaker 02 I'm giving it because I felt bad for asking you and you being the only one who answered.
48:54 Speaker 01 I've touched your hand so many times. I just feel very close to you today.
48:57 Speaker 02 Today?
48:57 Speaker 01 Yes, I mean, yeah, especially.
48:59 Speaker 02 Say it today, okay.
49:00 Speaker 01 Stop it!
49:01 Speaker 02 Beautiful. Uh, I feel, I like that I'm loyal. I think that's something nice about me. I feel like I really give people, I give people chances. Um, maybe to a fault sometimes, but I like it. I wouldn't change it. And then my least favorite thing about myself.
49:19 Speaker 02 Oh, there are a couple, or maybe the, the most difficult thing about myself. Um, I'm rigid about, I like, things need to be my way.
49:28 Speaker 01 Oh, wait, that's one of mine too.
49:30 Speaker 02 I know, well, you have a lot of the same ones.
49:31 Speaker 01 Please!
49:32 Speaker 02 Things need to be my way, and it's tough because it was really good for me at my job. I have taste, and so it really works for me at work. Sometimes not for you guys, but shout out.
49:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's really hard.
49:43 Speaker 02 But we, my thing, things that I make work because I know how I want them. And, but then it carries into other aspects of my life where I'm like, I really could be less rigid. And I'll feel myself being rigid, and I'll feel myself being like wanting things my way and being annoyed that it's not going exactly my way. And I'll feel myself in it being like, God, you're being annoying right now, and I can't stop. I'm like, I don't care, it should have gone my way.
50:06 Speaker 01 But you also, there is this thing, right, which is that you're right a lot. And I'm right a lot. Listen, I can't, we can't fucking help it.
50:14 Speaker 02 Chance is shaking. Thank you so much for coming back, O-Ha. This has been so true with all.
50:21 Speaker 01 It's, it's disgusting that we're right a lot. Um, and I hate it.
50:27 Speaker 02 We, okay, yes, I do identify as someone who's right a lot.
50:32 Speaker 02 But I will say, it's not that important to be right all the time.
50:36 Speaker 01 Agreed.
50:37 Speaker 02 And I need to relax.
50:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:39 Speaker 02 Here's the deal, sometimes when you're right, you could also just shut the fuck up.
50:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:43 Speaker 02 And Caleb has to internalize that note.
50:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
50:46 Speaker 02 Like, sometimes you are right, and you also could shut the fuck up.
50:49 Speaker 01 I have absolutely, uh, am in an era right now where I'm not giving feedback to people about, even sometimes when they ask me.
50:56 Speaker 02 Really?
50:57 Speaker 01 I'm going, opt out.
50:58 Speaker 02 Really?
50:58 Speaker 01 I'm opting out because I don't, the energy, that I can't spend it on that. They're gonna learn that lesson on their own, eventually, they will get there, and maybe another person will help them, today it won't be me.
51:11 Speaker 02 Do you know what I feel like in this conversation?
51:13 Speaker 01 Oh, what?
51:14 Speaker 02 Did you ever see, I talk about this a lot, did you ever see that clip of Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey in pajamas? In bed together? Do you know what I'm talking about? There's a clip of Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey wearing pajamas.
51:27 Speaker 01 I know exactly what you're talking about.
51:28 Speaker 02 And it's that clip, if you've ever seen it, where Maya Angelou goes, "When people show you who they are, believe them." And Oprah goes, "Believe them." And they're like, they're like being so girls at a sleepover in the most beautiful way. And I, sometimes when I'm really locked in with a friend, I feel that way.
51:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:44 Speaker 02 And that's us right now.
51:46 Speaker 01 I love that.
51:46 Speaker 02 We're in PJs in the bed.
51:47 Speaker 01 We're in PJs in the bed.
51:48 Speaker 02 And it's, by the way, that conversation is beautiful, if anyone hasn't heard it, you should go listen to it. But they're like so, that moment between them is so awesome and electric. Then you really feel like they're locked in, and that's how I feel with you today.
51:59 Speaker 01 That's how I feel with you.
52:00 Speaker 02 Oh, what's so true to you?
52:02 Speaker 01 Lesbians can say-
52:03 Speaker 02 Thank you! Thank you!
52:06 Speaker 01 We can say it, we can say, it's the funniest fucking word in the dictionary.
52:11 Speaker 02 Yes, you can!
52:12 Speaker 01 It's the greatest word that's ever existed, lesbians can say- We've done a lot for you guys.
52:16 Speaker 02 Yes!
52:17 Speaker 01 We were, okay.
52:18 Speaker 02 You guys were the AIDS nurses.
52:19 Speaker 01 We were at the hospital. We were the nurses, bitch, we could say-
52:22 Speaker 02 Yes, you were at the hospitals.
52:23 Speaker 01 Who do you think made the quilt?
52:24 Speaker 02 Yes.
52:24 Speaker 01 We made the quilt.
52:25 Speaker 02 Lesbians were at the hospitals and made the quilt.
52:27 Speaker 01 We've done a lot for you guys, we are the emotional backbone-
52:30 Speaker 02 Yes.
52:31 Speaker 01 Of all of- We can say
52:33 Speaker 02 You can say it.
52:34 Speaker 01 We can say it.
52:35 Speaker 02 We're bleeping all of these, of course, but yes.
52:36 Speaker 01 You have to be pure of heart to say a slur now.
52:38 Speaker 02 Yes.
52:38 Speaker 01 That is how I feel.
52:39 Speaker 02 Yes.
52:40 Speaker 01 If you're gonna say a slur, it has to come up like from a place of pureness of heart.
52:44 Speaker 02 Yes.
52:44 Speaker 01 And I am pure at heart and I'm allowed to say
52:46 Speaker 02 You are.
52:46 Speaker 01 And I can see those little gay boys' eyes twitching when I say it, okay? And I say, "Take it."
52:51 Speaker 02 Do you know how warm-
52:52 Speaker 01 Take it.
52:53 Speaker 02 Do you know how warm I feel when I hear you say the F slur? It warms me. And by the way, I'm not gonna stop doing it even if you say no, but do you mind that I say the D slur?
53:00 Speaker 01 I would love for you to.
53:01 Speaker 02 Thank you.
53:02 Speaker 01 It is a beautiful word. It's been retookin'.
53:04 Speaker 02 I love saying it.
53:05 Speaker 01 It's been taken.
53:06 Speaker 02 Queer people, here's what I wanna say to queer people.
53:09 Speaker 01 Go off. Tell them.
53:10 Speaker 02 Queer people- Queer people, listen up.
53:12 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
53:13 Speaker 02 We-
53:13 Speaker 01 We talked to thin people, or now it's queer people.
53:15 Speaker 02 Thin people, we talked to you, now queer people.
53:16 Speaker 01 Hmm.
53:17 Speaker 02 We are supposed to be making fun of each other.
53:19 Speaker 01 Hmm.
53:19 Speaker 02 The other people are not supposed to be making fun of us. We're supposed to kill them when they- When straight people make fun of us, we're supposed to kill them. When we make fun of each other, that is what we're supposed to be doing.
53:29 Speaker 01 That's right.
53:30 Speaker 02 That is what queerness is. I'm like a little tired of these Tinder queers.
53:34 Speaker 01 The preciousness is exhausting.
53:36 Speaker 02 Who can't hear a single thing about themselves.
53:38 Speaker 01 No.
53:38 Speaker 02 They're like, "The way that you invalidated..." Shut up.
53:40 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
53:41 Speaker 02 "I'm gonna do it again. Shut up." Like, we're supposed- I love you. I wanna grab these Tinder queers by the face and I wanna say, "I love you, and that's why I'm doing this."
53:53 Speaker 02 I am seeing you-
53:54 Speaker 01 Let's have a little fun.
53:55 Speaker 02 And I'm making fun of your outfit because I love you.
53:57 Speaker 01 That's right.
53:57 Speaker 02 And I want you to do the same thing to me.
53:58 Speaker 01 By the way, the first thing you said was to me when I walked in the room, "Wow, I've never seen you in clashing patterns before." Dunk!
54:03 Speaker 02 It's all you wear!
54:06 Speaker 01 I fucking know!
54:07 Speaker 02 It's all you wear and I love that about you. That's a- but that's a love.
54:11 Speaker 01 It's a love, and I, uh, never feel more seen than when somebody is roasting me well.
54:15 Speaker 02 If I walked into a room and you said- And you- and you called me and you were like, "Hey, here comes this fat-" I would be like, "Oh, God, it's so good to be back with my friends."
54:25 Speaker 01 Oh!
54:26 Speaker 02 I would feel so seen by that, and it feels like an ancestral communion with queer people before us.
54:30 Speaker 01 It really is.
54:31 Speaker 02 Oh, that's beautiful.
54:32 Speaker 01 Thank you.
54:33 Speaker 02 I have a game for you.
54:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, hit it.
54:34 Speaker 02 Maybe- maybe, by the way, maybe my favorite so true of all time that you just did.
54:38 Speaker 01 Oh my God, that's so sweet.
54:39 Speaker 02 That was beautiful. Are you ready?
54:40 Speaker 01 I'm ready.
54:41 Speaker 02 I'm gonna read you 15 statements, Oha.
54:43 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
54:43 Speaker 02 And by the way, we're looking for a sponsor for this segment. If any- if any brands out there wanna contact us-
54:48 Speaker 01 If any brands out there-
54:49 Speaker 02 We're considering branding the True False segment. And why?
54:53 Speaker 01 I love that.
54:53 Speaker 02 Because I have a mortgage. Okay, I'm gonna read you 15 statements.
54:57 Speaker 01 I'm ready.
54:58 Speaker 02 You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can, Oha, what I just said is true or false. And if you get 10 or more correct, we are going to give you 50 US dollars.
55:04 Speaker 01 My god, okay, amazing. I could use that.
55:06 Speaker 02 And imagine if I had said like, we're gonna give you a Hyundai Sonata, you know?
55:10 Speaker 01 I actually do need a Hyundai Sonata.
55:11 Speaker 02 You do?
55:12 Speaker 01 I really do, yeah.
55:13 Speaker 02 Hyundai, reach out. Okay, you ready?
55:15 Speaker 01 Yes.
55:16 Speaker 02 The main character in The Land Before Time's name is Littlefoot.
55:18 Speaker 01 True.
55:19 Speaker 02 True. Gordon Ramsay was born in Scotland.
55:21 Speaker 01 True.
55:21 Speaker 02 True. The microwave oven was invented in 1845.
55:25 Speaker 01 False.
55:25 Speaker 02 False, it was 1945. Friendster is older than MySpace.
55:29 Speaker 01 True.
55:29 Speaker 02 True. Pringle is a Greek word for tube.
55:31 Speaker 01 No.
55:32 Speaker 02 False. The movie Eight Mile is three hours long.
55:35 Speaker 01 False.
55:36 Speaker 02 False, an hour and 50 minutes. Houston was once the capital of Texas.
55:40 Speaker 01 False.
55:40 Speaker 02 True. The Chicago River, the first one you miss is a Houston question?
55:43 Speaker 01 I know, and I'm literally from Houston. I'm so sorry, boys.
55:46 Speaker 02 Oh my god.
55:46 Speaker 01 I love you guys so much.
55:47 Speaker 02 The Chicago River is longer than the Missouri River.
55:51 Speaker 01 False.
55:51 Speaker 02 False. You don't actually need a stamp to mail a letter.
55:56 Speaker 01 False.
55:56 Speaker 02 False. Six vice presidents have been from Illinois.
55:59 Speaker 01 True.
56:00 Speaker 02 False. Nancy Pelosi has been to every continent.
56:04 Speaker 01 False.
56:05 Speaker 02 False. Burger King was originally called Insta Burger King.
56:08 Speaker 01 False.
56:09 Speaker 02 True. Lemons float but limes sink.
56:15 Speaker 01 True.
56:16 Speaker 02 Are you sure?
56:18 Speaker 01 False.
56:19 Speaker 02 It's true.
56:21 Speaker 02 Anne Hathaway's mother invented the Bowflex machine.
56:23 Speaker 01 It's fa- false.
56:24 Speaker 02 False. The longest English word is 189,819 letters long.
56:29 Speaker 01 False.
56:29 Speaker 02 True. How'd you do? Wow.
56:34 Speaker 01 Hyundai Sonata.
56:36 Speaker 02 Hyundai Sonata coming to your driveway.
56:38 Speaker 01 Hyundai Sonata.
56:39 Speaker 02 Say that. Say that.
56:41 Speaker 01 I have a wife.
56:41 Speaker 02 Say that, no, that was beautiful.
56:43 Speaker 01 Thank you.
56:44 Speaker 02 Uh, Oha, we just love you so much.
56:46 Speaker 01 I love you back.
56:47 Speaker 02 I think we've done a podcast, my love.
56:48 Speaker 01 We've done it. Thank you guys for having me.
56:50 Speaker 02 Do you wanna tell people where they can find you and how they can support you?
56:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, you can find me at Oha Lopez on Instagram, H O J A L O P E Z.
56:59 Speaker 02 I think it's Aloha Oha, right?
57:01 Speaker 01 I changed it.
57:01 Speaker 02 What, oh, you cha- you changed the handle?
57:03 Speaker 01 Stop, you're calling me out.
57:05 Speaker 02 No, I thought you were just saying your name, but you changed the handle.
57:07 Speaker 01 No, I changed the handle because I'm not a Pacific Islander.
57:12 Speaker 02 Right.
57:13 Speaker 01 I have no claim on Aloha.
57:15 Speaker 02 This is sending shockwaves.
57:16 Speaker 01 It's sending shockwave. I've had it since I was 19 years old. And literally, two months ago, I changed it to @AlohaLopez.
57:23 Speaker 02 Aloha, we love you so much. Thank you for doing it.
57:25 Speaker 01 I love you, Angel. Touch my hand again.
57:26 Speaker 02 Chaballa.
57:27 Speaker 01 Love you.
57:27 Speaker 02 Chaballa, my love.
57:28 Speaker 01 Bye bye.
57:28 Speaker 02 We would make beautiful babies together.
57:30 Speaker 01 Oh, I've told you this.
57:31 Speaker 02 Yeah. Let's end it here and talk about it off camera.
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