Marie Faustin Returns

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Marie Faustin! Marie and Caleb talk credit scores, mom phone calls, a thrilling night out in Iowa, Ubers, and much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Marie! @reeezy Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Visit https://hin.ge/SoTruewithCalebHearon to download Hinge today Visit https://Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE. To find delicious recipes and learn more about the antioxidant goodness of POM Wonderful, please go to https://pomwonderful.com Right now, buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at https://WarbyParker.com/SOTRUE #WarbyParker #ad So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Anna Weis. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:23Speaker 04

  I went to sleep, I woke up like a couple hours later and I could see every crack and crevice and dust bunny in my bedroom. And I was like, "This is how I live."

• 1:34Speaker 04

  I gotta make a change.

• 1:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:40Speaker 05

  I hope your landlord doesn't need anything serious.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  I think she needs my lease renewal.

• 1:44Speaker 05

  No, are you gonna do it?

• 1:46Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 1:46Speaker 05

  You gonna stick around?

• 1:47Speaker 04

  I need to bring my credit back up.

• 1:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, what happened to it?

• 1:52Speaker 04

  Well, you know, I watched it plummet because I watched a TikTok that said, "Do these three things and you can get these things removed off your credit report." And I was like, "Yeah."

• 2:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, I need that.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  I'm on experian.com or whatever.

• 2:09Speaker 05

  I love the idea of you immediately hitting Experian and just being like, "All right, what can we do here?"

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Literally, I felt like one of the hackers in the truck outside while a heist is being done. I'm like, "Yeah, no."

• 2:22Speaker 05

  We're lucky.

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm locked in. And then I literally just watched my credit score go down every day.

• 2:28Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Refused to pay my student loans. And I was like, "It's about to fall off the credit at any time."

• 2:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  And the Experian didn't do what it was supposed to do.

• 2:38Speaker 05

  Uh-uh, well, maybe you did a hard check. Is that considered a hard check or a soft check?

• 2:42Speaker 04

  I don't know what that means.

• 2:44Speaker 05

  See, I had to learn that the hard way because there's hard checks on your credit and soft checks. And I thought, anytime someone checks your credit, no big deal. It's just a number that sits over there. No, if they're checking it for like a loan or something and you don't get approved, it's a hard check and it can actually bring your credit down, which I didn't know.

• 2:57Speaker 04

  Well, only if you don't get approved.

• 2:58Speaker 05

  I think, but I also think maybe just the check itself can bring your score down. I think I'm right about this.

• 3:03Speaker 04

  Right, I've always heard anytime you check your credit score or it gets checked, it gets affected, which is crazy.

• 3:10Speaker 05

  These are so made up, it makes me so mad. It makes me so mad.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  I only got, but you know, 600 of these points. Why? Why are y'all checking it? I'll tell you what it is.

• 3:22Speaker 05

  I'll tell you what the points are.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  I'll tell you what it is.

• 3:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:24Speaker 04

  Also, do you know how high your credit score can be? Like the top of it?

• 3:29Speaker 05

  Is it 750, 800?

• 3:30Speaker 04

  No, what is it? I think it's 900.

• 3:33Speaker 05

  No.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  I think it's nine.

• 3:35Speaker 05

  See, I'm in a situation where I don't even know my credit score.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 3:38Speaker 05

  I haven't checked on anything in a while.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  No soft check, no hard check, no medium check.

• 3:41Speaker 05

  No checks I'm thinking about. I'm not looking at it. Once I got business managers, I said, "You guys tell me if there's a problem and otherwise, I'm staying out of it."

• 3:47Speaker 04

  That's how you know you've made it a business manager?

• 3:50Speaker 05

  I know, I was poor my whole life and all I ever did was think about my finances. The second I got to stop, believe I did. They could be robbing me and I have no idea. Chance, what's the highest credit score you can have? 850. 850, damn.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  I know, I didn't even know it could go that high.

• 4:03Speaker 05

  I wonder what I have.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  Yours is probably good.

• 4:05Speaker 05

  I think it's good.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  I'm sure the business manager's got it.

• 4:07Speaker 05

  It was not my whole life, but I think it might be good now. I bet they figured it out.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, you know, I think I'm in like the mid to low sixes.

• 4:13Speaker 05

  I don't think that, I've heard horror stories and they did not start with a six.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  Oh, well, it just got up.

• 4:18Speaker 05

  Okay, yeah. We got it back up there.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  It's so crazy because it goes down so fast and then it goes up like...

• 4:26Speaker 05

  And it's made up. They just made this stuff up to hurt us. I'm like, "Y'all need to stop doing this. It doesn't make any sense. Do I have money or not? Quit it."

• 4:34Speaker 04

  Right, because I'm like, "I have the money."

• 4:36Speaker 05

  Right.

• 4:37Speaker 04

  I just don't like paying my bills on time. Now, why is that your business?

• 4:42Speaker 05

  Right, stay out of that.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  Because you'll get the money when you get the money. And actually, when I pay, I pay right before they cut my stuff off. So you getting a book drop.

• 4:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  You getting like six months.

• 4:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, that whole amount you needed, you got it, yeah.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  Don't spend it all in one place.

• 4:59Speaker 05

  You, I'm trying to say what we should talk about first.

• 5:04Speaker 05

  They are spending it all in one place, executive bonuses. You said that you wanted to air me out or something? You wanted to ask, you wanted to get in my business?

• 5:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I want to get in your business.

• 5:12Speaker 05

  Get in my business, let's do it.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  You know, I feel like you've been globe trying. You on all the lists. You got a beard now. You're a completely different person.

• 5:22Speaker 05

  Okay, full honesty, because I know you would be real with me. How are we feeling about the beard?

• 5:25Speaker 04

  I saw you last night and I said, "I like the beard."

• 5:28Speaker 05

  Really?

• 5:28Speaker 04

  I like the beard.

• 5:29Speaker 05

  Okay, interesting.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, you know, beard is contour for men's faces.

• 5:33Speaker 05

  That's right, I'm getting some good feedback on beard. I'm feeling good about it, but I know you would tell me. I know you would give me the truth if the beard was there.

• 5:39Speaker 04

  I love facial hair.

• 5:40Speaker 05

  All right, okay.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  I love facial, you know, the men are going to Turkey to get the beards to connect now.

• 5:45Speaker 05

  Really?

• 5:45Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm, it's not just up here, it's face follicles now too.

• 5:49Speaker 05

  Really?

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:51Speaker 05

  Well, I think I gotta start on the beard because my, my, my whole life, I've had a little bald spot on the top of my head.

• 5:56Speaker 04

  No.

• 5:56Speaker 05

  And it's getting a little bigger. And I said, "You might want to start working on that facial hair."

• 5:59Speaker 04

  But now, how tall are you?

• 6:00Speaker 05

  I'm 6'2" or 3", something like that.

• 6:02Speaker 04

  No, you feel taller than that.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  No, that's it.

• 6:04Speaker 04

  That's it?

• 6:05Speaker 05

  6'2" or 3", that's what I got.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  Well, maybe you'll be having a little platform Doc Marten on when I see you. When you're this tall, people can't see your bald spot.

• 6:13Speaker 05

  Well, not usually, except on camera. So when I do acting jobs, they take this little old like powder gun and powder, black powder onto my bald spot so it looks like my hair is all there. And that's really annoying because anytime I touch it, it gets all over my hands.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  That's gender-affirming care right there, babe.

• 6:27Speaker 05

  That is gender-affirming care and I want to go buzz cut beard. That's where I eventually want to get to. Buzz cut with beard, I think I could rock it.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  Buzz cut beard is definitely a type.

• 6:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I want to get involved.

• 6:37Speaker 04

  Okay, you gonna G.I. Jane it? You gonna do it live?

• 6:40Speaker 05

  No, unless, watch, watch, some brand, some brand is gonna hear this and hit us up and be like, "So we have an idea."

• 6:49Speaker 05

  Caleb shaves himself on our Instagram Live and he mentions us 12 times.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  The brands gotta back up.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  No, they might even need to step up. I mean, if they, if they have, it depends on what the money is.

• 7:00Speaker 04

  The brands have the money.

• 7:01Speaker 05

  The brands have the money.

• 7:02Speaker 04

  They have it, but, and I'll agree to do a brand deal and in real time be like, "Future me is not gonna be happy about this." And then when it's time to do the video, I'm like,

• 7:12Speaker 04

  "I'm just doing this for the money."

• 7:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, crying my way through it. It's too much.

• 7:17Speaker 04

  Get ready with me to go to...

• 7:22Speaker 05

  Performance face.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it hurts me more than it hurts y'all to watch.

• 7:27Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, just know, when I was doing it, I felt bad about it. Yeah, I felt bad that I was doing it.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  And then we take an ad break right here on the pod?

• 7:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, kick over to those ads. Oh my God, how did, how did your, you just did a show, was it for Tubi?

• 7:40Speaker 04

  It was cool, we did three episodes. Let me move my knee, I don't want to block my chin. Um, yeah, we did three episodes and we might be doing some more.

• 7:48Speaker 05

  How was it?

• 7:49Speaker 04

  I don't like watching myself.

• 7:51Speaker 05

  Really?

• 7:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 05

  You're so charming and beautiful and smart. I found that hard to believe.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, thank you. These are facts. Thank you for saying that in front of the fire.

• 7:58Speaker 05

  You're exactly right.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  But yeah, I, I think it's ADHD. I have a lot of executive dysfunction, but I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist yesterday because we getting me some drugs, baby.

• 8:10Speaker 05

  Hey, what kind?

• 8:14Speaker 04

  Uh, well, I guess I have to do other stuff before they tell me what I'm gonna do.

• 8:18Speaker 05

  They're gonna figure that out.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Right, right. But it's so funny, are you on anything? Adderall, Viva, something like that? You just, you get stuff done just naturally?

• 8:27Speaker 05

  It takes a lot of work, but I do.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Work is hard.

• 8:31Speaker 05

  I know.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Uh, no, I had an appointment with this lady and soon as I get Adderall, it's over for you hoes.

• 8:37Speaker 05

  I think maybe, have you done Adderall a lot?

• 8:39Speaker 04

  I mean, I've done other people's Adderall.

• 8:41Speaker 05

  Right.

• 8:41Speaker 04

  It wasn't effective.

• 8:42Speaker 05

  Really, so what makes you think yours is gonna be?

• 8:44Speaker 04

  I believe I'm stronger than Adderall.

• 8:45Speaker 05

  Okay, so you, do you think there's like an extra strength Adderall laying around that you haven't gotten your hands on maybe?

• 8:50Speaker 04

  I just think that the right concoction hasn't found me yet.

• 8:53Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  It's different when you take somebody else's pills.

• 8:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, of course.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  Because I'm, I'm doing them like Skittles.

• 9:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  And I don't think that's how you're supposed to take them.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  No, certainly not. And they might be, are they gonna be combined with something else? Like, do you think you need more than an ADHD? Do you need a depressant, an anxiety?

• 9:08Speaker 04

  Hey, baby, I'm not a doctor.

• 9:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 04

  Let me tell you what. Let me tell you what Dr. Krista told me yesterday. She said, "We're gonna," she was like, because I'm also self-diagnosed ADHD.

• 9:18Speaker 05

  Right.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  So I'm telling these people all my business so they give me the good drugs, right? I'm like, "Yeah, I think when I was a kid is the first," like, I'm just, I'm telling them all my business. And at the end of the call, she goes, "Yeah, so you have it. Yeah, you got it."

• 9:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  She said, "But we have to take, you have to take a test to tell us what type it is." And I said, "A test? Like a Scantron? Like what you talking about?" She said, "It's like a 30-minute like video game I have to play and then the results of that will say what it is that I have and what I need." I'm like, "A 30-minute video game?"

• 9:52Speaker 05

  Tough thing to put someone with ADHD through.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  Hey babe, that's not gonna get done for another two months.

• 9:58Speaker 05

  So we're gonna be able to help you. You just gotta lock in on one task. Okay, well, that's kind of the whole problem, so...

• 10:03Speaker 04

  I'm like, "Yeah, so," and it's how long, they're like 30 minutes. I was like, "And I can't be on my phone while I do this?"

• 10:08Speaker 05

  Right.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  They're like, "We want to help." And I'm like...

• 10:13Speaker 04

  But once I lock in, it is over for you guys.

• 10:15Speaker 05

  I'm really excited for you to get the meds. I hope they figure out what particular cocktail you need.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  Hey, you know, it's a learning curve. I'll take a little bit of this, little bit of that.

• 10:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  I don't take anything now.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  Really? Nothing at all?

• 10:26Speaker 04

  And I'm operating at like a, I don't know, 10% of my usefulness, I feel like.

• 10:32Speaker 05

  You think?

• 10:33Speaker 04

  I don't think I'm, I'm maybe like 35.

• 10:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 04

  I don't, I'm not really working that hard.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  What's not getting done that you want to get done? Can I ask that?

• 10:42Speaker 04

  My taxes.

• 10:42Speaker 05

  Right, okay.

• 10:46Speaker 05

  Primarily my taxes.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  My taxes. Um, I used to be really good at returning stuff. Like I'd order stuff online and I'd like return it. My printer ran out of ink.

• 10:56Speaker 05

  And that was the end of that?

• 10:57Speaker 04

  And I just never got ink again. And now the boxes are piling up. Or I go to my gym to print stuff out there.

• 11:02Speaker 05

  That's good.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, but they, they don't really love that. They're like, are you a member here? I'm like, yes!

• 11:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, I am.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  And I, and I, I check in and then I'm like, can I print some stuff out here?

• 11:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  And they say yes, but they don't, they mean no.

• 11:16Speaker 05

  I asked to print a script at a coffee shop I go to a lot one time. I was like, I know y'all got a printer back there. Can I print a script? It's only 15 pages. And they're, and I go in there all the time and I'm very friendly. And they're like, uh, we guess? And I was like, why is this so contentious? The amount of money I spend on coffee in here, I can't get 15 pages one time?

• 11:34Speaker 04

  They said the tariffs had made the price of the ink real high.

• 11:37Speaker 05

  I was like, hey, but yeah. The printer, the printer running out is a thing I've run into. Getting the packages returned at all is hard for me. God bless Michelle. She returns them now. But before Michelle, I was really not returning stuff.

• 11:47Speaker 04

  I gotta, I gotta get me a Michelle.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  You need a Michelle.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  But I also, that's the other thing. I know I need an assistant. The process of looking for one and finding it, also the ADHD is keeping me from doing that.

• 11:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, of course. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is everything is on the other side of these tasks.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  I know. And everyone's like, I, I spoke to this woman and she was like, as, as a woman who has ADHD, the older you get, the harder it gets. It gets worse.

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Why?

• 12:14Speaker 04

  Everything about being a woman gets worse as you get older. I'm learning stuff about being a woman that I didn't even know. Perimenopause? That's new. What, what is that?

• 12:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, Amy Miller was talking about this.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  Yes, it's like, and I learned it from her.

• 12:25Speaker 05

  Really?

• 12:27Speaker 04

  So that and then, I don't know, uh, women's bones lose density and they shrink into like little, is your mom shrinking?

• 12:36Speaker 05

  My mom, yeah, kind of a little bit actually.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, my mother's shrinking too.

• 12:39Speaker 05

  She's shrinking a little bit.

• 12:40Speaker 04

  My mom used to be taller than me and now she, I could put my...

• 12:43Speaker 05

  You're, when you're hugging her, the chin's on top now?

• 12:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. But she still thinks she's big.

• 12:47Speaker 05

  Really?

• 12:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:48Speaker 05

  That's interesting.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  She's in denial as well.

• 12:49Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  I'm gonna try to give her some of my meds when I get them.

• 12:54Speaker 05

  I need meds for two. It's for me and my mom.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  For two?

• 12:56Speaker 05

  For two, you don't mind? Um, interesting. Yeah, being a woman seems tough. I don't know what's going on over there. I'll look into it.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  Thank you. Thank you for doing the work. But this girl I spoke to said she started taking Adderall and it's made her life 80% easier.

• 13:08Speaker 05

  Eighty?

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Eighty!

• 13:10Speaker 05

  Big number.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  I said, babe, that's almost a hundred. She said it's 80% easier.

• 13:15Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  I said, I gotta get in on this.

• 13:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  And that's why I made the appointment.

• 13:19Speaker 05

  I'm really proud of you.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  Two months later.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  Two months later, we got in there. We saw Krista.

• 13:23Speaker 04

  Krista?

• 13:24Speaker 05

  And we're getting into it.

• 13:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I think Krista's new because her like supervisor was also on the call. I think that might've been her first call.

• 13:30Speaker 05

  Really?

• 13:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 05

  Oh damn.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. You don't want to be your psychiatrist's first client.

• 13:35Speaker 05

  Not at all. Or last.

• 13:39Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? You don't want to be the last client. Like, oh, you were the last person before they figured out that person shouldn't have a license.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  You wouldn't be smack dab in the middle of some clients.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like the pit. Wait, is it like the pit?

• 13:51Speaker 05

  I've never seen the pit.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  You've never seen the pit?

• 13:53Speaker 05

  No, but from what I understand, they're just doing surgery over there, right?

• 13:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's crazy surgeries.

• 13:58Speaker 05

  Right. OR, or not OR, what, ER? Are they in the emergency room? Or no?

• 14:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 14:03Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 14:05Speaker 04

  All I know about the pit is each season is 24 hours.

• 14:10Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Like each season is one shift at the hospital.

• 14:14Speaker 05

  Really?

• 14:15Speaker 04

  So the episodes are like...

• 14:17Speaker 05

  No one's ever pitched this to me.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  Each episode is a different hour of the shift.

• 14:22Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:23Speaker 05

  That's crazy.

• 14:24Speaker 04

  Isn't it?

• 14:26Speaker 05

  I had surgery a couple of weeks ago.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  On what?

• 14:28Speaker 05

  I got my tonsils taken out.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  Bad.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Okay, bad?

• 14:32Speaker 05

  Marie.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Even though you got the good insurance?

• 14:35Speaker 05

  But, oh, I got, yes, and I went to a good place and they can't stop it from being two open wounds in your throat for two weeks. It was horrible.

• 14:40Speaker 04

  Well, are your tonsils, they're up?

• 14:43Speaker 05

  You got yours? You got your tonsils?

• 14:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, but my tonsils are real tiny.

• 14:46Speaker 05

  Really?

• 14:47Speaker 04

  They real demure.

• 14:48Speaker 05

  Congrats.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  I have tonsils.

• 14:51Speaker 05

  They're just little, little tiny tonsils.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  You got tonsils!

• 14:54Speaker 05

  Mine were big. And guess what? It made me, I thought of it because my nurse was clearly new and the way I know is she took my blood and she goes, after she takes my blood, she's kind of quiet for a second. And my mom is a nurse and my mom was sitting there with me.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:08Speaker 05

  And my mom was like, you know, talking to her about nursing and she was asking my mom a bunch of questions about nursing, what kind of nursing my mom has done throughout her career, you know? And after she takes my blood, she goes, you know, I guess for either of you, but maybe Kelly, mostly for you, just scale a one to 10, how do you think I did on drawing that blood?

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Scale it one to 10?

• 15:24Speaker 05

  How do we think you did on drawing the blood? You're not confident in that you drew the blood good?

• 15:29Speaker 04

  She's covered in blood. She like, she like, I think I did. She's drinking it.

• 15:34Speaker 05

  Truly. She's like, she's like wringing out her shirt. She's like, how did that go?

• 15:38Speaker 04

  She's like...

• 15:40Speaker 05

  I was like, don't ever ask a patient that in my head.

• 15:43Speaker 04

  Well, what did Kelly say?

• 15:45Speaker 05

  My mom was like, my mom was like, you did really good, hon. My mom's like trying to, you know, but I was like, I don't know about all this.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  This, that's the nurse who did the lethal injection of, for that lady the other day.

• 15:53Speaker 05

  What happened?

• 15:56Speaker 05

  Oh, the prisoner?

• 15:57Speaker 04

  Yo, did you see that?

• 15:58Speaker 05

  No. I mean, I, I knew that she like survived it or something, but what?

• 16:01Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, first of all, this lady was on death row for 30 years.

• 16:04Speaker 05

  Right.

• 16:04Speaker 04

  So they had 30 years to, to practice.

• 16:06Speaker 05

  Right.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  They had 30 years to take the poison out the freezer to defrost it or whatever they needed to do.

• 16:10Speaker 05

  Whatever needed to happen, yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  30 years to figure out where the veins are.

• 16:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:15Speaker 04

  So she, she has her last meal. She says her last words. I don't know what they are.

• 16:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  Right? And they, they give her the lethal injection in one arm. She don't die. They say, that might be her strong arm.

• 16:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, no.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Let's see what this arm's talking about.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  No!

• 16:31Speaker 04

  They do it on the other arm.

• 16:33Speaker 05

  Same time?

• 16:33Speaker 04

  Doesn't die! They put her in an ambulance. I'm like, why?

• 16:38Speaker 05

  What, what, yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  They should have put her in an Uber pool.

• 16:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, don't waste the money.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  They should have given her one of those like diarrhea salads from the summer.

• 16:48Speaker 05

  Have you seen Your Mother, Your Mother, Your Mother yet?

• 16:50Speaker 04

  Oh, what's that?

• 16:52Speaker 05

  Your Mother, Your Mother, Your Mother is Mahershala Ali's new movie and it's amazing.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 16:56Speaker 05

  But it, there's a, I'm, I won't say it of course for people who haven't listened. I don't want to spoil, but it makes me think of that. There's a moment in the movie that is identical to this, that I'm like, maybe they were predicting something. Maybe something's about to start happening with

• 17:10Speaker 05

  death and who can die and who can't. Maybe she's some sort of prophet. That's all I'm saying.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  The lady that, the lady that...

• 17:15Speaker 05

  They gave her a lethal injection twice and she didn't die. You better start worshipping that bitch and put her picture up.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  Then they, then they put her back to jail.

• 17:23Speaker 05

  They need to let her out. I'm sorry, but if you get, this should be the rule. If you get the death penalty, I don't care what you did. If you get the death penalty and they give you two lethal injections and it doesn't work, you get a do-over on freedom.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  Well, at this point, first of all, I, I want to know what her first words were when she came back.

• 17:38Speaker 05

  Right.

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Cause we, the final words, whatever. What's the first words when you realize you didn't die?

• 17:44Speaker 05

  Nice try, bitch.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Is this hell?

• 17:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  Or she said, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

• 17:51Speaker 05

  Send me back to that jail.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  And then she flexed her arms and claws came out of her hands. Cause she's a super, she's a supervillain now.

• 17:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  They made her mutant.

• 18:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's real. I mean, I really do think if you survive a lethal injection twice, we got to give you a do-over. Let you try some new stuff. Start a, start a church.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  No.

• 18:08Speaker 05

  Do something.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  That's crazy. A lethal injection twice, those are designed to kill you.

• 18:13Speaker 04

  They're trying to decide if they're gonna give her a third one. And it's like, I think she just got to stay where she's at.

• 18:19Speaker 05

  Where am I and who are you were Pike's first words.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  Where am I?

• 18:24Speaker 05

  That makes sense.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  Who are you?

• 18:27Speaker 05

  Oh, murder and torture. I should probably look into this.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  You just said...

• 18:32Speaker 05

  Murder and torture, you know what?

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Doesn't matter what you did, if you survive, you get the lethal.

• 18:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I forgot you could torture somebody.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 05

  Murder I get, but torture, what she, why she, she tortured her classmate? I need to look into this.

• 18:43Speaker 04

  It was like a girl she thought was flirting with her boyfriend in high school.

• 18:46Speaker 05

  Torture's crazy.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, torture is crazy.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  Murder's one thing.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Well, cause murder feels like, you know, it could have been an accident.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  Right.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Torture, you doing that on purpose.

• 18:57Speaker 05

  Murder is like, you could have gotten caught up in the moment and kind of forgot this was a human being standing across from you. Torture's like, you're jigsaw. That's crazy. Torture's like, you're going back in every once in a while and being like, I found a new idea.

• 19:08Speaker 04

  Torture is, let's play a game.

• 19:09Speaker 05

  It's creative.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Murder could be, oops!

• 19:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, whoops.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  I thought that was the break.

• 19:14Speaker 05

  Really, my bad. Torture's like, you really were having some fun with it. That's crazy.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  There's crimes of passion. There's no torture of passion.

• 19:21Speaker 05

  No. Torture is really, really, really strange and bizarre. I'd call, I'm not on her side. I don't, I think, I, but I also don't support the death penalty. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna replace with it. I don't support the death penalty at all, actually.

• 19:33Speaker 04

  I think it should be a different type of death penalty.

• 19:35Speaker 05

  How do you mean?

• 19:36Speaker 04

  Like dodgeball.

• 19:38Speaker 05

  Right.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  But some of the balls got spikes in them or something.

• 19:44Speaker 04

  If you can...

• 19:46Speaker 05

  If you can outwit. Yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  If you could dodge a hammer, you can live.

• 19:52Speaker 05

  You're good.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 19:53Speaker 05

  Yeah. So you're basically creating the movie Saw.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  But dodgeball.

• 19:59Speaker 05

  But Saw.

• 19:59Speaker 04

  Saw starring Will Ferrell.

• 20:02Speaker 05

  It's Saw starring Will Ferrell. We're gonna do fucking Globo Gym, Vince Vaughn and Ben Affleck, not Ben Affleck.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  One of the best. One of the best.

• 20:11Speaker 05

  I'm getting older, dude.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  But you know what's crazy about getting older too? Is our celebrities are also getting old.

• 20:18Speaker 05

  They're getting old.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  Isn't that wild?

• 20:20Speaker 05

  I'm looking at some of these folks and going, how did? Cause I've just been watching a movie of them when they were 25 for 20 years.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  Right.

• 20:26Speaker 05

  And I'm like, all of a sudden, you're 71.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  Okay, Bruce Willis, let's talk about it. Bruce Willis. I didn't even realize he used to have hair.

• 20:35Speaker 05

  He had hair.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  He had hair.

• 20:37Speaker 05

  He had hair. I'm gonna fucking cry.

• 20:38Speaker 04

  It was kind of.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, it wasn't always.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  No, it was, it looked kind of like that.

• 20:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, it wasn't approaching us, it was kind of.

• 20:44Speaker 04

  He needed all of these hats, but.

• 20:47Speaker 05

  But he had some hair up there.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  He had some hair and then he went bald and now he's. What? He's.

• 20:54Speaker 05

  He's, he's really old and sick.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, it makes me really sad.

• 20:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I heard when it was getting really bad, he like wasn't able to memorize his lines. So they had to like a lion feed him.

• 21:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  And now he's just done.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  Gotta be, yeah.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  It's wild.

• 21:07Speaker 05

  I read a devastating quote the other day.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Oh devastating.

• 21:10Speaker 05

  It was devastating. You know what, I'm not even gonna find it, but it was basically like, I forget which actress it was, it was an older actress. And maybe Judi Dench or, I don't want to describe someone wrong. But she was talking about how she's like, I can't memorize lines anymore, I can't really see. So like, I can't act anymore, which is my favorite thing. And she was, she said this, she said, she can't really see anymore, but she's still alive. And she was like, they say that the Bluebells were brilliant last spring, but I wouldn't know. And I was like, hey, so that's actually the most devastating fucking thing I've ever heard.

• 21:46Speaker 04

  I don't know what a Blue Bell is.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  It's like a flower.

• 21:48Speaker 04

  Oh, I was thinking of Baby Bell cheese.

• 21:50Speaker 05

  That's simply gorgeous.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  Beautiful.

• 21:53Speaker 05

  And also would be sad.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  I was like, that is devastating.

• 21:55Speaker 05

  I don't want to lose sight of that.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  I want to peel some cheese.

• 21:57Speaker 05

  I've loved, did you ever, I used to chew on the package.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  No.

• 22:00Speaker 05

  Cause I thought it was, I liked the texture. I wasn't trying to eat it, I was just, it would be like a toy for me. I was like, put my teeth imprints in it.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  Never done that. I always turn them into little cubes.

• 22:09Speaker 05

  Really?

• 22:09Speaker 04

  That's my thing.

• 22:10Speaker 05

  I would do that after, I would put my teeth prints in them and be like, that's neat. And then I'd fold them up.

• 22:13Speaker 04

  Now you got wax all on the front of your teeth.

• 22:15Speaker 05

  I get it off. I get it off, I'm strong.

• 22:17Speaker 04

  Uh, I'm gonna be a little bit vulnerable with you right now and say that I also can't really see right now.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  What?

• 22:23Speaker 04

  So I got Lasik like, I don't know, 10 plus years ago.

• 22:27Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  And when I first got Lasik, I was seeing better than 2020.

• 22:30Speaker 05

  Really?

• 22:30Speaker 04

  Ah, I didn't even know you could do that.

• 22:32Speaker 05

  Right.

• 22:33Speaker 04

  I, I, I got the surgery and I was like, oh my god, like seeing through walls type shit. Like I felt like, you know?

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  I felt like I needed glasses to keep myself from being able to see through people's stuff. And I remember my doctor was like, this is not your final vision, your eyes, your vision is gonna change. And I was like, shut up, Dr. Castor.

• 22:53Speaker 05

  Right.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  I can see your dick. Like that's how good my vision was.

• 22:56Speaker 05

  I'm in there, yeah.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  I can see through the lab coat and the jeans. Um, and then.

• 23:01Speaker 05

  He's wearing jeans. He's wearing a lab coat and jeans.

• 23:03Speaker 04

  I had a cool doctor.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  This was in LA, so.

• 23:08Speaker 05

  I can see through that lab coat and those Jinkos.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:11Speaker 05

  He's wearing cool jeans.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  I can see through your Levi's 501s.

• 23:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  Um, and, uh, wait, do doctors not wear jeans? That's crazy.

• 23:19Speaker 05

  I've never seen a doctor in jeans, but I love the idea of like, a cool doctor who's wearing like, yeah, fucking Wranglers to work.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  Wait, so the lady who drew your blood, she had on jeans?

• 23:31Speaker 05

  No, she was wearing full scrubs, thank god. The jeans would have really pissed me off.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  It is scrubs.

• 23:36Speaker 05

  The jeans would have put me in a crazy different space. If I'm about to go under anesthesia and you come over wearing jeans, I'm off, I'm getting off the table.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  What if it's like, like a designer denim?

• 23:47Speaker 05

  What happened with your eyesight?

• 23:48Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  Listen, soon as I get the Adderall.

• 23:56Speaker 05

  I'm gonna get involved in the medication conversation, yeah.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  Soon as I get the Adderall, is, I will be able to have a linear conversation.

• 24:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 04

  So, uh, yeah, they just said as you get older, your eye, the shape of your eyes is gonna change and your vision is not gonna stay the same. So, you know, over the last couple of years, like, I can't see perfectly anymore, like I could. And I went to the eye doctor to get an exam and I tried to cheat on that exam.

• 24:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  You know, they're like, cover your eye and I'm like,

• 24:25Speaker 04

  and they turn back around and I'm like, trying to like squint at the thing. Anyway, I need glasses again.

• 24:30Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  And I know I need glasses, but I still don't want to wear them.

• 24:34Speaker 05

  Why?

• 24:34Speaker 04

  Because I, I don't want to go back there. But at nighttime, I be.

• 24:41Speaker 05

  What's going on in here? Who's, who's with me?

• 24:44Speaker 04

  People be like, Marie, is that you? And I'll be like, I don't know who that is.

• 24:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 04

  I can't see. I heard the Bluebells is beautiful this time of year.

• 24:51Speaker 05

  I wouldn't know.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  I wouldn't know.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  See, to me, it's about, to me, the reason that's so profound is not like, there, of course, blind people exist and they have a beautiful experience of the world too. I just mean to have your whole life to have access to something.

• 25:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 05

  And then because of this beautiful privilege of aging, there's also these like really hard and like grieving, things that you have to grieve of like, okay, it's a privilege to get older, thank god I'm still here. But also I'm losing these things that used to be like huge touchpoints for me and what it meant to be alive. That fucks me up.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, getting older is a gift, but also kind of a curse.

• 25:24Speaker 05

  It's horrible.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  Cause it's like, you're, you're, it's your privilege to age.

• 25:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  But, yeah, like stuff is falling apart.

• 25:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Literally our bodies are like betraying us.

• 25:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:36Speaker 04

  You know?

• 25:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's just, it's just, it's like, you can't hang on to it forever, no matter what you do.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  I know, and I, like for a very long time was the type of person who, like on a public toilet seat, this might be TMI. I would just kind of like hover. Cause I had a good core.

• 25:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  But the other day I needed to pee and I felt myself. I said, I guess I'll put some tissue down.

• 25:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get one, let me get one of those little, yeah. Laying out different rectangles on the whole thing, yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  And then you try to sit and one goes in and you're like, I guess I'll just sit on the toilet like this.

• 26:10Speaker 05

  Oh no.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  Um, but yeah, me as an older person hovering is not in the cards.

• 26:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  It's not gonna happen.

• 26:21Speaker 05

  It's scary to me and I want it to happen. I want aging to happen to me. I really like being alive. I'm really not into the alternative at all anymore, thank god.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  Anymore, sure, sure, sure.

• 26:30Speaker 05

  There was a time where I was pretty obsessed with the alternative, but yeah, I like living and I want to be here, but god, I get so. Sometimes I'll sit at like lunch or dinner with an older friend. I'm lucky to have some older friends in my life. And I'll look at this person across the table who's like 73 from me and I'm like, someday I'm gonna be 73 sitting across from someone who's 31. And I'm like, I, did it just go like that for you? Were you just me on this side of the table? And they're talking about something lighthearted, by the way, and this is what's going on in my head.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 26:57Speaker 05

  So then I have to kind of get back into like, yeah, the, yeah, the crudo's amazing, you know, like I have to like, I have to snap back into normal mode, cause I'm having thoughts about both of our mortality.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, anytime I see a page where like they, they're talking to an older person and they ask them like, what they learned or what they thought or what, you know, for whatever. It's always like, well, you know, I'm 63, but I don't feel 63. And I'd be like, well, you look 63.

• 27:24Speaker 05

  But it's that, I think something, yeah, I think something happens where people, I think, I think it shuts off at some point for some people. And then they go, oh yeah, the last 30 years have just felt, I felt, I felt 28 since I was 28.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, when we're older, time flies more, like October, do you even remember October?

• 27:39Speaker 05

  No.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  That was literally the fastest month of the year.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  And now it's about to be 2027, or it is 2027, I don't know, we're not gonna drop this.

• 27:48Speaker 05

  I'm really not sure.

• 27:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, scary.

• 27:54Speaker 05

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• 33:19Speaker 04

  But when you're young, time is so slow. I remember I used to count the days till Christmas.

• 33:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 04

  Or count the days until XYZ happened and it felt like it was so long. Now I look up and I'd be like, what day is it? What year is it?

• 33:36Speaker 05

  How did this happen?

• 33:37Speaker 04

  What time is it?

• 33:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Young man, what day is it? And it's Christmas. It's Christmas every time.

• 33:44Speaker 05

  And he's, it's a doctor in jeans and he goes, ma'am, you're waking up from surgery. It's okay.

• 33:49Speaker 04

  A doctor in jeans is crazy because I thought they wore jeans, but you're right. They do wear scrubs.

• 33:54Speaker 05

  No, I loved it. I was really into it. I was hoping it was true.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, on the pit. I think they were jeans.

• 33:58Speaker 05

  Doctor denim, doctor denim.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  I want a cool doctor that when he's giving me my lab results, he's on the chair backwards.

• 34:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  He's sitting on it like a cool sub.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  He wheels in a TV. He's like, let's talk about your broken bones.

• 34:14Speaker 05

  We're worried about your vision, babe.

• 34:17Speaker 05

  I'm gonna be real with you. I'm gonna be completely real with you.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  But I do have a couple pairs of really cute glasses. I just have to wear them.

• 34:23Speaker 05

  Oh yeah. You're gonna, you're gonna look fierce in those glasses. I can't wait. You're gonna, you're gonna turn it into a moment. You always do.

• 34:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I just, I don't want, I want, I want to be able to see well forever from, from far.

• 34:35Speaker 05

  See, I love my glasses. I would never, I don't think I would ever get the corrective surgery.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  Do you wear contacts at all?

• 34:40Speaker 05

  No, never. I don't like having shit in my eyes. I'm scared. I'm scared of having stuff in there. I don't like putting stuff in my.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  But how bad is your vision? Like if you took these off, could you still see me?

• 34:52Speaker 05

  You wanna see? Yeah, I can see you.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  Imagine I put them on and they're my exact prescription.

• 34:58Speaker 05

  I'm like, couldn't.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  Bitch.

• 35:01Speaker 05

  Did that help?

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Hang on that. I've seen enough.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  Bitch.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  Was it helpful or was it weird?

• 35:11Speaker 04

  It was a little bit helpful.

• 35:12Speaker 05

  Damn, that's not good. That's not good. You hate to see it.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  It was really clear, but I'll say this about the LASIK. Why you look over there? Is there ghost?

• 35:20Speaker 05

  No, I was seeing, I was seeing writing. I was like, how good can I read that? I started to worry about my vision. I went inward for a moment, but then I was back with you quickly. You saw how quick that was?

• 35:27Speaker 04

  I did, but it made me go.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  I thought you were trying to Ellen DeGeneres me like there was somebody.

• 35:34Speaker 05

  Someone pops out of the plant. Yeah. Scares the hell out of you.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  There's a trap door right here.

• 35:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:39Speaker 04

  Uh, what was I just talking about? Hey, don't man.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  Listen, once I get on the.

• 35:45Speaker 05

  What was Marie saying right before I accidentally looked away? Do you remember? You're talking about the vision. Your vision, the surgery.

• 35:51Speaker 04

  Oh, the surgery was really cool.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  It was really, really cool. They lay you on your back. They never even touch you. There's like a, a laser on the ceiling. That's very fuzzy and it blinks a couple of times and then it's clear. It's like. The surgery is like five seconds on each.

• 36:10Speaker 05

  You're awake?

• 36:11Speaker 04

  You're awake.

• 36:11Speaker 05

  And what are you seeing during this? Can you see?

• 36:13Speaker 04

  This red light on the ceiling that's flashing.

• 36:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  Cause like they, what they do with LASIK or when, when I did it back in my day, when I got LASIK, the technology probably changed now chat GPT doing it. Um, but yeah, they measure your eyeballs. You take a bunch of tests. They measure like the depth and the sickness and the size of your pupil, whatever. And then they type it all into the computer and then the laser does all the work. Um, and then you're done. And when you, you go to sleep and wake up, you can see perfectly.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  You didn't have to like wear glasses or keep your eyes closed?

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Oh, I had to wear the goggles and I couldn't get water in my eyes for like a couple of days.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Really?

• 36:51Speaker 04

  But it's not something that I was actively doing.

• 36:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Just like spraying water into my eyeballs.

• 36:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's that us.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  But I went to sleep. I woke up like a couple of hours later and I could see every crack and crevice and dust bunny in my bedroom. And I was like, this is how I live.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  I gotta make a change.

• 37:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  Yeah. I had to start with the man in the mirror, babe. I said, this is crazy.

• 37:15Speaker 05

  Now that I can see him.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was bad. And now I feel like my vision is not that crisp anymore. So I'll be in my house like, I know it's dirty in here. I know it's hairs.

• 37:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 04

  On the floor that I missed when I swept.

• 37:28Speaker 05

  That's all right.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  I just, I just blow on it.

• 37:31Speaker 05

  That's okay. That's gonna be fine. Leave those hairs. Put those glasses on when you're ready. You take your time.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 37:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm supportive.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  Cut to me getting in the wrong Uber for the rest of the year. For Marie.

• 37:41Speaker 05

  Hello? They'll take you too.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  No, sometimes I get in cars that aren't Ubers. Have you ever done that?

• 37:46Speaker 05

  Oh yeah. And people get mad.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  Oh, they be pissed.

• 37:50Speaker 05

  Which totally understandable.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Hey babe, why do you drive this car? This is a Uber car. You are in an Accord, babe.

• 37:57Speaker 05

  Why are you in a Honda Accord?

• 37:58Speaker 04

  Why are you in a Honda Accord?

• 37:59Speaker 05

  If you got a Toyota Corolla that's idling on, on my block, y'all, I'm gonna get in it.

• 38:04Speaker 04

  Also babe, or, or a Toyota Sienna, a lot of Siennas.

• 38:08Speaker 05

  Siennas. Siennas are doing a lot of work for this city.

• 38:11Speaker 04

  Sienna's for the city.

• 38:12Speaker 05

  Toyota Sienna is the leading provider of Ubers that have a smell to them.

• 38:16Speaker 04

  Oh my God. And the Ubers are getting smellier. Can we talk about this?

• 38:20Speaker 05

  They got a smell to them.

• 38:21Speaker 04

  Have you ever gotten into an Uber that smelled so bad that you had to get out?

• 38:25Speaker 05

  No, I've always been able to power through. Have you had to get out?

• 38:27Speaker 04

  No, but I've gotten into Ubers that like, as I'm sitting down, I'm already rolling that window down.

• 38:33Speaker 05

  Before I get fully set in the scene, I'm already.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  Already, I'm leaning in, the door is still open right here. I'm in the body. And I'm hitting it with my foot.

• 38:42Speaker 05

  I'm getting both of them, both sides.

• 38:43Speaker 04

  Trying to get a cross breeze back here. I'm like, bring back the little shower curtain from the pandemic, that the, the force field.

• 38:51Speaker 05

  Shower curtain, yeah.

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Well, yes, some of the drivers were literally just taping.

• 38:55Speaker 05

  Taping them up, yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 04

  They were, they were using nail glue.

• 38:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  And now we, we just, it's free, the breath is hot, the air is hot. I can't even vape back here.

• 39:04Speaker 05

  I don't like that.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  Your car is gonna explode.

• 39:06Speaker 05

  I don't like that.

• 39:09Speaker 05

  I had a really sweet Uber driver the other night who, his phone rang and he goes, excuse me, sir? Would you mind if I spoke with my friend for a little bit?

• 39:16Speaker 04

  I love when they ask.

• 39:17Speaker 05

  And I said, oh my God, I'm gonna cry. I was like, please speak with your friend.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  I'd be like, put it on speaker.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, we're both gonna talk to your friend.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  I love being in other people's phone conversations.

• 39:27Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, it's the best.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:29Speaker 05

  Except when I'm not in the mood and then it has to stop.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. Hey, can you wrap that up?

• 39:33Speaker 05

  I don't, you know what, my mom, I used to get so fucking mad at her as a kid because we'd be on some long drive and she would take a phone call with someone that she wouldn't put it on speaker. So I'm only hearing her side of a conversation and after 15 minutes I would start just like out loud being like, please hang up, please hang up, please hang up. Cause I'm like, I can't listen to music. I'm sitting here quietly and all I'm hearing her go is, no. Well, I told him, mm, mm, mm. And I'm like, if you don't put this shit on speakerphone or hang up, I'm gonna bang my head against the window until I die. That sucks so bad.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  Right, because you clearly were not an iPad kid.

• 40:05Speaker 05

  No.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  You just had to be in the car listening to, mm, oh no way.

• 40:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 04

  Didn't it feel like our mom used to be on the phone all the time?

• 40:12Speaker 05

  All the time.

• 40:13Speaker 04

  All the time.

• 40:14Speaker 05

  It was a constant phone call.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  And, and like, my mom would be on the phone and then hang up and then call somebody else to talk about what she just talked about on that last call.

• 40:21Speaker 05

  Yes. And by the way, we have a life where we have many, many friends, right? Like, we can't even really keep up with all of our friends, which is great and beautiful and wonderful. My mom had four friends and she was on that phone all the fucking time.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  Well, the four needed to know what was going on with the other four.

• 40:36Speaker 05

  That's right. It was, it was Kelly, Kelly, Shelley and.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  Kelly, Kelly, Shelley, Shelley.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  Kelly, Kelly, Shelley and Teresa. Those were the friends. And I'm like, she was on that phone constantly. Crazy.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  And we're in the background, are you an only child?

• 40:48Speaker 05

  Uh, no.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  In my house, we're in the background making, and she's, shh, I'm on the phone. You're always on the phone.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Or, or the worst part with my mom is we would do something or one of us would get in trouble and she'd be on that phone just telling our business. Let me tell you what Marie did on Thursday.

• 41:06Speaker 05

  Well, and I'm right here.

• 41:07Speaker 04

  What are you talking about? Mind you, I can't interrupt her call. Like, I can't be like, mom, mommy, like, she, I'm on the phone. You're talking about me.

• 41:15Speaker 05

  Right.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  So we're on the phone.

• 41:18Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  What's up?

• 41:20Speaker 05

  What's going on? I wanna tell my side of the story.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  There are three sides to every story. Your side, my side, the truth.

• 41:27Speaker 05

  The truth.

• 41:29Speaker 05

  And now there's a fourth, your friend's opinion on it.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  Now Shelley, Shelley, Kelly here.

• 41:33Speaker 05

  Shelley, Kelly, Shelley, Kelly, Kelly and Teresa are going in about my little story. I didn't like it. It really upset me.

• 41:39Speaker 04

  Teresa's a good mom friend name.

• 41:41Speaker 05

  It really is.

• 41:42Speaker 04

  Cause I don't know any young Therese's.

• 41:44Speaker 05

  That's right. They weren't allowed.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  No baby Therese's.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  They weren't allowed.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Mother Teresa, Teresa, um, prostitution whore. You know the Teresa. Teresa, New Jersey.

• 41:54Speaker 05

  Prostitution whore.

• 41:56Speaker 04

  Prostitution whore from House, New Jersey Housewives.

• 41:59Speaker 05

  I haven't seen it.

• 41:59Speaker 04

  That's like her most iconic thing, when she flips the table over, she says, you prostitution whore. A table in a restaurant.

• 42:07Speaker 05

  I feel so bad. I've never seen it. I'm so sorry.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  It's from the early, the early 90s or something, whatever, whatever the first season of New Jersey.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  The early 90s, New Jersey Housewives show.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Famously came out that early, but.

• 42:19Speaker 05

  Wait, I was gonna ask you, are you and your mom friends? Would you identify as friends with your mom?

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Um, sure. I mean, I don't really know too much about my mom from before. Um, I was born, this, this, I'm not crying, I'm just.

• 42:35Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  My mom is real secretive.

• 42:38Speaker 05

  Really?

• 42:38Speaker 04

  And I feel like some people, as their parents get older, they get like looser with the lips. My mom is like, even more secretive. I'm like, what happened?

• 42:47Speaker 05

  And she won't tell you?

• 42:49Speaker 04

  No.

• 42:49Speaker 05

  Interesting. I kinda like that.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  I mean, it's mysterious, but like, babe, what's the lore?

• 42:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:55Speaker 04

  Like, talk to me about who you are and why you're like this.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  I wanna know how we got here.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Right. Meanwhile, my aunt, my mother's younger sister, she'll spill some tea.

• 43:04Speaker 05

  Really?

• 43:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 05

  Does she spill about your mom or is there a boundary?

• 43:06Speaker 04

  She'll spill about my mom, but it'll be like a little bit at a time.

• 43:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  And I'd be like, and then what? And she'd be like, when she sees I'm too like invested, she'd be like, well, you know how your mom is. I'm like, I don't.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  Write it down.

• 43:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Put it in the burn book.

• 43:21Speaker 05

  Yeah. Do you think, you have one sister?

• 43:24Speaker 04

  I have a younger sister and an older brother.

• 43:26Speaker 05

  Um, do you think they're getting the same treatment that you're getting on that front or are they getting more info?

• 43:30Speaker 04

  Well, my sister is, and my mom are not in communication at all.

• 43:32Speaker 05

  Got you, got you, got you.

• 43:34Speaker 04

  My sister's like, I've, I've set a boundary. And I'm like, well, you should probably talk to her, you know, you don't know how long she has left. And she's like, she doesn't know how long I have left.

• 43:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, period.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  That's on final destination.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  Right. Yeah, I love that.

• 43:50Speaker 04

  She doesn't know how long I have left. I'm like, mm.

• 43:55Speaker 04

  But they're not speaking. Um, yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 05

  Interesting.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 05

  I, yeah, my mom and I are in friend territory, tells me, tells me everything. And I, I think it's, I would be interested to have a parent who has some mystery. I'm not complaining. I love my mom and I's dynamic, but I'm like, a parent with some mystery would be very fascinating to me.

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• 45:41Speaker 04

  I feel like if I was a mom, I'd be like a little bit of both.

• 45:44Speaker 05

  Yeah. I'd keep some stuff for my kids, for sure.

• 45:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. I love a secret.

• 45:50Speaker 05

  I'm gonna lie to them.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  Yes, and then lie.

• 45:52Speaker 05

  I'm gonna lie to my kids.

• 45:53Speaker 04

  But lie about stuff that you don't need to lie about.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  That's right. I'm looking forward to it.

• 45:56Speaker 04

  Like, that's how my mom did it.

• 45:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Like, my little sister has dimples, and none of us, no one else in my family has them. And I was like, "I want dimples." And my mom said, "Well, you get them, like, when a baby is new. You just hold on to their faces like this, and you squeeze real tight." And then they have dimples.

• 46:13Speaker 05

  Now, why would she tell you that? Because why was she squeezing her and not you?

• 46:16Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 46:16Speaker 05

  Right, hello.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Bitch.

• 46:19Speaker 04

  Respectfully, I have a black mom. She's not a bitch. But, yeah, she said that, and for years, I believed it. And I went to school and, like, shared that.

• 46:27Speaker 05

  I shared that. I went to school and shared some of my ideas.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  With my community.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  And everybody in the class was like, "That's not how that go."

• 46:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  My mom said...

• 46:41Speaker 05

  Oh, we believe everything, too. That's the sad part.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  I know.

• 46:44Speaker 05

  You think your parents are like, "True," you're like, "This is undeniable truth. It came from my parents."

• 46:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. And then you turn, like, 11, and you're like, "Yeah, I don't know nothing."

• 46:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:53Speaker 04

  And then 12, 13, 14, you're like a little terrorist in your house. And then, you know, then you realize, "None of us know anything."

• 47:00Speaker 05

  That's really where it gets to.

• 47:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 05

  You, the people, yeah, I get, the older I get, the more I talk to people I have looked up to and respected. And I go, "Genuinely, no platitude? You all were just actually making it up the entire time, and you knew, you knew nothing."

• 47:15Speaker 04

  That's what adulthood is.

• 47:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Adulthood is realizing that all of us are kind of just going through the motions, and nobody really knows what's going on. The people who seem like they have it the most together, I feel like, are the people who are, um... I don't know. They're, like, good at pretending, or they're good at one thing. They do one thing really, really well, and the rest of their lives is kind of in shambles.

• 47:39Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 47:39Speaker 04

  Low-key.

• 47:40Speaker 05

  I asked somebody this the other day, and I kind of liked it. And I'm, now I'm wondering it about you. What do you think your life is about? What's Marie's life about?

• 47:46Speaker 04

  That's a great question.

• 47:47Speaker 05

  Like, what's the point? What do you, what's it about?

• 47:49Speaker 04

  I have no idea.

• 47:50Speaker 05

  Really?

• 47:50Speaker 04

  I have no idea. But then, every once in a while, people will send me messages on Instagram, and I'll be like, "I'm here to save the world, babe."

• 47:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I think you are.

• 47:59Speaker 04

  One, one reel, one stoner reel at a time.

• 48:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  People be like, "Yeah." Or they'll come up to me at shows and give me, like, a sob story, and I'll be like, "Um, I did that for you?"

• 48:11Speaker 05

  Right.

• 48:12Speaker 04

  And it's like, "I just, I literally just be high in my apartment, and I'd be like, "The lighting is really good in here today. Let's do a video."

• 48:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:18Speaker 04

  "Let's go live."

• 48:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  And people be like, "You know, when I was going through what I was going through." I'd be like, "I helped."

• 48:25Speaker 05

  Me?

• 48:26Speaker 04

  Me.

• 48:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:27Speaker 04

  "I don't even help myself, babe."

• 48:29Speaker 05

  I believe it, though. Because you're so fun.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm fun because for me, I'm like, none of this stuff actually matters.

• 48:36Speaker 05

  What stuff?

• 48:37Speaker 04

  Life.

• 48:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  But like, some of the stuff does matter.

• 48:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 04

  I'm just in my house like, none of it matters.

• 48:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  So.

• 48:44Speaker 05

  I see it. You're so fun. I really love, I've never had, I've never had a bad energy around you. I just think you're a blast. And you also are so like, I get why someone would have this feeling with you because you make things feel light.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  I want them to be light.

• 48:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  I don't want heavy, I don't want dark. I feel like, uh, uh, being a child of immigrants, it's, it be heavy. It is dark. My life has been that. And now, you know, through the power of mushrooms and weed, and just like, living alone and making my own money, I'm like, oh, I don't actually have to like, let all this stuff stress me out. But also, I haven't done my taxes in two years.

• 49:18Speaker 05

  So the taxes do need to get done.

• 49:19Speaker 04

  They do need to get done.

• 49:20Speaker 05

  I will bring that into the conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Allegedly, allegedly I haven't done my taxes in two years.

• 49:26Speaker 05

  So nobody check in on this, but allegedly those do need to get done.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  This is all common.

• 49:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Satire, satire.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. I'm working on a bit.

• 49:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, this is for my hour. Uh, they got done. Don't worry about it.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:38Speaker 05

  Everybody got paid.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  But also like, my life can be light because I do what I do for a living. Like, if I had a job where I was in an office every day, if I had to leave my house and get on a train every day, it, I wouldn't be this. I'd be, you know, like the rest of the world.

• 49:55Speaker 05

  And also you, th- this is the thing though. This is the, the, the thing I come back to with that, where I'm like, yeah, I have the privilege of being light. That's true. It didn't feel like a privilege when it was really fucking hard and I was busting my ass to get it though, is the thing. I'm like, you put in the sacrifices and the risk and the like, hard work and belief, back when other people were going to law school and med school and like, building up that part of, like, getting, preparing for this part of their life, you were out there risking and sacrificing and putting years of your life into getting here. And so, sometimes when I, because I'll stop myself. I'll be like, oh, life can feel like X. And then in my own brain, I go, well, that's easy for you to say. And I go, well, it's only easy for me to say now because I did it when it was hard. So it's, there's this like, do you know what I mean?

• 50:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 05

  The easy for you to say is a thing I come back to a lot where I'm like, well, yes, I do have certain privileges and that's real. And then also, I worked really hard when it wasn't easy. And so I, I come back to this place of like, who's to say? But do you know what I'm saying?

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, what I'm hearing is I just gotta keep working even when it's hard.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  You are. You're doing it. You're fucking doing shows, making videos, running around. You're at everybody's shit. You're do, you already are.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  I'm not at everybody's shit.

• 51:04Speaker 05

  You're, I see you at every. Maybe we, maybe we just like the same people.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  I would like to be at everybody's shit, but sometimes I'll be at the house. And now, because, and I guess this is a sign of aging too, because when you're young, you're like, I gotta go. I, I might miss something. Somebody might show up that I wanna see. But sometimes I'll be at my house and I'm like, yeah, um, if I had gone, I'd know I would have been miserable and I'm glad I didn't go. Or I'll be at a party now and I'll be like, I think I'm ready to go.

• 51:34Speaker 05

  It's time to go. I don't need to hang around and see if I missed something. I can go now. Yeah.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  And if I miss something, I'll be like, aw, man.

• 51:40Speaker 05

  Crazy. Well, anyway.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  Okay. I'd be like, send me the clips and then I'll pretend I was there.

• 51:45Speaker 05

  Exactly right.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  I'll throw it in my stories.

• 51:47Speaker 05

  I was wanting everyone to stay out the other night. We were at a gay bar in Des Moines for my friend's wedding. And I was randomly wanting everyone to stay out longer, which is not normally my mode. And so I kept, everyone who kept trying to leave, they'd come up and they'd go, hey, I think I'm about to go. And I go, you can go, but I received a prophecy that said that anyone who leaves early will miss out on a big treasure. And that was kinda working for me for a second. Like people.

• 52:09Speaker 04

  That sounds like something they would believe in Des Moines.

• 52:11Speaker 05

  People were being like, okay. I was like, yeah, if you leave, you're gonna miss out on the biggest part of the night. And I can just feel that. Like, I know the biggest part of the night hasn't happened yet. So people stayed. And then, our friend danced on the pool table for too long and security forcibly removed her. And then, we all got thrown out of the bar together. And I said,

• 52:28Speaker 04

  And that's the prophecy being fulfilled.

• 52:29Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:30Speaker 05

  And I did, people did come up to me and say, I'm glad I stayed for the prophecy. And I said, exactly right.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Now, scale of one to 10, let's rate the dancing.

• 52:37Speaker 05

  Oh, she was eating, she's a dancer and she was eating down.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 52:41Speaker 05

  And I didn't get kicked out, but I was trailing behind her getting kicked out and said, gay people used to be fun. You people fucking suck. A beautiful woman can't dance on a pool table at a gay bar? What the hell do we have left?

• 52:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 52:53Speaker 05

  Oh, I, Marie, I could get, I'm getting hot.

• 52:55Speaker 04

  You threw, you, you throw the, the brick, you throw a brick through that window?

• 52:59Speaker 05

  A beautiful woman cannot dance on the pool table at a gay bar? We have lost recipes. What are you talking about?

• 53:07Speaker 04

  We're losing the recipes.

• 53:10Speaker 05

  That's the whole reason a beautiful woman gets out of bed in the morning. It's the whole reason all those gay guys got out of bed. I can't believe it. This is unacceptable. You can't kick a beautiful woman out of a gay bar for dancing on a table. That's not right.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  Especially if she's killing it.

• 53:22Speaker 05

  Eating, eating. People were throwing money at her, getting her drinks, taking videos of her.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  It's the bartenders. The bartenders were like, those could be our tips. Get her out of here.

• 53:31Speaker 05

  Get her out of here.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  Get her out of here.

• 53:32Speaker 05

  Oh, I was mad. You cannot treat a beautiful woman like that at a gay bar. She's the whole reason the building stands.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  That should be your subway take.

• 53:40Speaker 05

  I'm gonna run for office.

• 53:43Speaker 05

  I'm gonna run for office in Des Moines.

• 53:44Speaker 04

  Hey, 100% agree.

• 53:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'm like, that was, I was wrong. And I was mad about it. I was really mad about it.

• 53:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like that. I do love a good party and I don't want it to end, but sometimes you, you gotta leave before it gets too sad.

• 53:57Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:58Speaker 04

  Like, at the hang, you know? Um, I, I've decided, and I, this might be premature to say it right here, right now, but I think that I've decided that I'm gonna have a New Year's Eve party this year.

• 54:09Speaker 05

  Okay, are we talking, uh, like, rent a venue, do a house?

• 54:12Speaker 04

  I feel like it's gotta be somebody sexy loft.

• 54:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:14Speaker 04

  It's gotta be like, a, a house party is the dream.

• 54:17Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  Um, get a bunch of people that I like together with the people that they like. And just have like, like a, like an epic house party.

• 54:25Speaker 05

  This is magnificent news. This is magnificent news.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  That being said, I don't wanna plan any of it.

• 54:29Speaker 05

  No.

• 54:29Speaker 04

  So will it happen?

• 54:31Speaker 05

  I knew that you weren't, I knew. When I heard, when I heard you say it, I knew that we were speaking in a very hypothetical sense.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  But hold on, I might be on, I might be on my meds by then.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  But I got excited.

• 54:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know, it's exciting.

• 54:41Speaker 05

  I got excited about that.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Because we're always looking for something to do on New Year's and it's never quite good enough.

• 54:46Speaker 05

  Maybe we could collab on something, if I'm gonna be in town. Because you know, I do, I can make a plan.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  Oh, that's right.

• 54:52Speaker 05

  I can make a plan.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  And you plan things unmedicated. You are, you're Neo.

• 54:57Speaker 05

  I got a lot of help. I got Michelle.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  Oh, that's right, Michelle.

• 55:01Speaker 05

  Anna Nicole Chance.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  I did say I need to get me one of those.

• 55:03Speaker 05

  Michelle, you medicated? Michelle's not medicated, so she's really doing something.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  But Michelle, you're young. Yeah.

• 55:09Speaker 05

  She's not that young.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  Damn!

• 55:16Speaker 05

  She's getting up there.

• 55:16Speaker 04

  Well, Michelle, how old are you? Oh, yeah. We're like the same age. We're like the same age.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Twin.

• 55:29Speaker 04

  That was crazy. She not that young. I thought you was an ally.

• 55:33Speaker 05

  No, no, no. Michelle's young, Michelle's young. You know, it compare, it just depends on who you're comparing to.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  But that's the other thing about getting older is, once upon a time, we're young and we're like, I'm the youngest person in the world. And then you meet somebody younger than you and you're like, who the hell is this kid?

• 55:48Speaker 05

  What the fuck is going on with this? Yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  Who is this child?

• 55:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  And they just keep getting younger.

• 55:53Speaker 05

  Uh huh.

• 55:56Speaker 05

  Hey, I got a question for you. You know what you're gonna wear to my birthday party?

• 56:00Speaker 04

  Are you, is it gonna be a costume party again?

• 56:02Speaker 05

  Oh, yes, it is. Do you have any rejected Halloween costumes that you might spring out for that? Because I, I get excited about your costume.

• 56:09Speaker 04

  Ooh, well, Ho- the Halloween party that we went to, um, this year.

• 56:14Speaker 05

  Hours ago.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Hours ago. That SpongeBob? That country SpongeBob?

• 56:19Speaker 05

  There was a sexy SpongeBob that had a brain for a reason. I didn't understand.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I didn't get that. I thought it was pink hair. I thought, I was like, okay, a barb. That SpongeBob is a barb.

• 56:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, the whole, but the whole head was a brain. I didn't understand the SpongeBob. I didn't understand the brain part.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  But the body was tea?

• 56:33Speaker 05

  Body.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  The boots were like, platform, like, I've never seen a better body.

• 56:39Speaker 05

  Sexy brown spandex, like, uh.

• 56:42Speaker 04

  SpongeBob SquarePants.

• 56:43Speaker 05

  Sexy, yeah, all yellow, of course. Eating.

• 56:47Speaker 04

  Eating.

• 56:48Speaker 05

  Won the judges' contest for the costume.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  But that was great. Marie Antoinette, it was a, a girl with a, a high wig with the curls, cake for titties. I said, that's art.

• 57:00Speaker 05

  I liked that. And let them eat cake.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  Let them, literally let them eat cake.

• 57:03Speaker 05

  But there are titties.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  But there are titties.

• 57:05Speaker 05

  I love gay Halloween.

• 57:06Speaker 04

  I do love gay Halloween.

• 57:07Speaker 05

  I love gay Halloween. It was so special.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I was inspired. I saw a lot of really cool costumes last night. Um, I don't know, I think maybe for your birthday party, I'll be a peacock or something.

• 57:19Speaker 05

  You were Tweety Bird last year?

• 57:21Speaker 04

  No, I was Tweety Bird a couple of years ago.

• 57:23Speaker 05

  No.

• 57:24Speaker 04

  But I was Tweety at your birthday party too?

• 57:26Speaker 05

  No. You were Tweety at my birthday party, I think.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Oh, I might have been Tweety at your birthday.

• 57:29Speaker 05

  I'm pretty sure you were Tweety at my birthday party.

• 57:31Speaker 04

  Well, I still had the costume from a couple of years ago, so I saved it. I DIY'd that.

• 57:35Speaker 05

  That's the thing about a birthday costume party though, is people will often in the week of be like, oh, fuck, he wants us to wear a costume? And then they gotta find something out quick.

• 57:43Speaker 04

  Well, did you see the girl who performed, um, after Spike?

• 57:48Speaker 05

  Oh, with the feathers?

• 57:48Speaker 04

  With like the flowers and the feathers. I was like, I should be, or flamingo. I'll be a flamingo for your birthday.

• 57:53Speaker 05

  That'd be cute as hell.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:54Speaker 05

  That'd be really cute. Some pink tights.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  And I'll just stand like this all night?

• 57:57Speaker 05

  That'd be really funny. That'd be really funny. I think you should. You should do that. That'd be really, really funny.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  I don't know. I don't know. Um, or just maybe I'll be like a jester.

• 58:07Speaker 05

  January, the month after the, just a couple of weeks after your iconic New Year's Eve party. Something to think about.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  Something to think about.

• 58:14Speaker 05

  Are you gonna do dress code for your party of any kind? Theme?

• 58:16Speaker 04

  Just dr- look nice.

• 58:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  Don't show up looking shitty.

• 58:19Speaker 05

  Get dressed up.

• 58:19Speaker 04

  I feel like we're living in a time, well, maybe, maybe it's mainly like Gen Z. They love a sweatsuit. They love a, they love a croc.

• 58:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:29Speaker 04

  Hey babe, don't come to my New Year's Eve party in no crocs. You will be escorted, you will be jazzy jeffed out of there.

• 58:35Speaker 05

  You'll be thrown Uncle Phil style.

• 58:38Speaker 04

  Uncle Phil style.

• 58:38Speaker 05

  Out of this party, yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  Out. A hundred percent.

• 58:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  And your crocs will fly through the air behind you.

• 58:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:44Speaker 04

  Cause that's ugly.

• 58:45Speaker 05

  It's too casual.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  Just, just look good.

• 58:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, I can't, I, I wanna agree with you, cause I love the take and I love how good you always look. But we both know that I don't really dress the way that I should be dressing.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  Anytime there's a costume party though, you show up.

• 58:57Speaker 05

  I'll put on that costume.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  You'll, so just treat it like you were in a, be a king. Show up to the party looking like a king.

• 59:04Speaker 05

  I come to your New Year's Eve party the only person in a costume? I will. Not a problem for me.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:10Speaker 05

  I'll do that.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:11Speaker 05

  That's fine for Caleb.

• 59:12Speaker 04

  Come to my, my party in full drag.

• 59:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 05

  You know I've never done drag? And I'm scared, cause I know how good it'll be when I do.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  What do you think your drag name would be?

• 59:22Speaker 05

  Well, I've experimented. There's, there's a couple of plays on my name that I like. Kayla Baron? Or Kay LaBaron?

• 59:30Speaker 04

  Kay LaBaron?

• 59:31Speaker 05

  Kay LaBaron is actually kind of sickening. I thought of a good drag name the other day, Ian, it was the name of that store when we were, Mama Winner? Mama Winner. Mama Winner. We were, we were, we were passing some like African food store in Deep Brooklyn that was called Mama Winner. And I was like, Mama Winner is a fierce drag name. Mama Winner just feels like, you just wanna say it. You're like, Mama Winner, like, I just like that. But I've got, I've got a list somewhere. It could be a lot of different things.

• 59:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, I really need to use my notes app more.

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't do good, some people do really good at like the notes they keep. Where they're like, this is my note of drag names, or like I have a friend who keeps a note of like, things they hear that aren't band names but should be. That's really fun. I do bad at keeping my notes.

• 1:00:14Speaker 04

  I have a, a things shit, shit Sid said. Like stuff Sidney says. And I have a, a note of karaoke songs, cause I never know what to sing when I do karaoke. And then I go through the list while I'm there and I'm like, I don't wanna do none of these.

• 1:00:29Speaker 05

  I'm not doing any songs, yeah.

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  I don't wanna do none of these songs.

• 1:00:31Speaker 05

  Last night, after the party, I re-downloaded Instagram to share some stuff. That was fun.

• 1:00:35Speaker 04

  And then I saw your last post was deleting this again, bye.

• 1:00:37Speaker 05

  Delete it down again. And I need to, I actually have to, I think it's so, there's some things on social media that happen a lot that I think are so stupid. And one of them is what I did, which is being like, I'm deleting my Instagram again, but I actually have to do it in order to make myself do it. Like, there's something about the accountability of being like, I am now deleting my Instagram, or else I won't do it, and I need to do it.

• 1:00:59Speaker 04

  How long of a break do you usually take?

• 1:01:01Speaker 05

  I need to delete them forever. That's what needs to happen. That's what we're building towards. Someday I will never have them on my phone again, is my, my goal in drinking.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  And then a team is just gonna post on your behalf.

• 1:01:10Speaker 05

  No, no one will post. Eventually, no one will post. Eventually, they'll just, the podcast page will post and Caleb won't post at all. Caleb just won't post. There'll be no posting. We'll be in a post-posting society.

• 1:01:20Speaker 04

  You'll be like Angelina Jolie, cause she don't post. That's very old Hollywood.

• 1:01:24Speaker 05

  There'll be no posting. But for now, deleting is good enough, and it's going well. It's funny, I, it's funny, I check other things. Like, I, I check my texts more often, I get back to people more often. I check Substack, which is technically social media, but I keep it because I do see a lot of intellectually stimulating stuff on there. And not so much slop, not that it's perfect, but it's more like articles and stuff.

• 1:01:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. I thought that's what Substack was, people who just had like their little newsletters or something.

• 1:01:52Speaker 05

  It's gotten a little inundated with people like me, that are like trying to get off jokes and making the place a little worse. But, but as a user, I do think it's ultimately good.

• 1:02:03Speaker 05

  But yeah.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  So do you like subscribe to people's pages?

• 1:02:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Okay, so it's like OnlyFans, but for like people who read.

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  Writing, yeah, it's good. Sam Erby has an incredible Substack, do you know Sam?

• 1:02:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:16Speaker 05

  Her Substack was one of my first, like my, she's been doing it for so long. She does like Judge Mathis episode reviews.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  Yeah. She's so fucking funny, dude. And a lot of my musician friends have good Substacks where they write about music, which I love.

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  Do you know in 2020, I said Judge Mathis was my dad and people believed me?

• 1:02:34Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:02:35Speaker 04

  I said Judge Mathis is my dad. And people were like, yeah, you know, Marie, you do seem like a judge's daughter.

• 1:02:44Speaker 05

  Oh shit.

• 1:02:45Speaker 04

  Ah, yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 05

  Marie, what's so true to you?

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  Oh, um, hold on, I think I wrote this down.

• 1:02:51Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 1:02:52Speaker 04

  Well, cause I woke up this morning and I had not thought about it and I was like, oh, something's up.

• 1:02:56Speaker 05

  Who's thinking about a podcast before they're on the way? Not me.

• 1:02:58Speaker 04

  Not me, not me.

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  Okay, I just wrote, social media has ruined New York City.

• 1:03:10Speaker 05

  Whoa, tell me about it. Cause you're born and raised.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I just feel like New York used to be a place where like, people were like cool and individuals and kinda did their own thing. And now with social media, everyone's waiting on the same lines.

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  Which is insane to me.

• 1:03:25Speaker 05

  Humiliating.

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  Y'all waiting for half an hour or an hour for yogurt?

• 1:03:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 1:03:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Speaker 04

  But also, people move here and they, um, all look the same. Everyone's dressing the same, and this is kinda like worldwide, honestly, with social media. Everyone has like the same style, they're all wearing the same baggy jeans, they're wearing the same jeans and a black top.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  And, uh, yeah, I don't know, I just, I feel like they've, I think it's ruined New York. It's not a vibe no more. Like, the West Village and the East Village and all these neighborhoods that used to be like gritty and, and artis-y and, and fun are very beige. Very beige, very unseasoned, very avocado toast. You know? Do you agree? Do you disagree?

• 1:04:12Speaker 05

  I don't know, because I wasn't here. So, but I'm like, it sounds right. I do, I see, I see people dressed all like, and I, and I wince. I see people waiting in lines for dumb shit and I wince. Like, I, yeah, it sounds right to me.

• 1:04:25Speaker 04

  If I'm walking down the street, last, yesterday, I was walking down the street and every other corner I turned, there was another line that people were waiting for something else.

• 1:04:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  And it's like, I already don't believe in lines.

• 1:04:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  So anytime I see a line and I'm trying to get inside, I'm trying to cut that line.

• 1:04:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, or go, or I'm trying to leave immediately.

• 1:04:41Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, a hundred percent. I like to go right to the front of the line and be like, are you gonna make me and my hot friend wait in line?

• 1:04:46Speaker 05

  And I bet that works, that's what makes me sick.

• 1:04:48Speaker 04

  It works sometimes.

• 1:04:48Speaker 05

  I bet that works and that makes me sick.

• 1:04:50Speaker 04

  But if I'm by myself, I'm even, I'm trying even harder to not wait on that line.

• 1:04:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  They're like, we're at capacity. I'm like, yeah, but look how tiny I am, I'm not gonna take up no space.

• 1:04:59Speaker 04

  And sometimes the bouncers laugh and they let me in, and other times they be like, get your ass back there.

• 1:05:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  And I'm like, I'm going home.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  Yeah. Actually, the tiny line might work for me in a different way.

• 1:05:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  I actually might get someone with that. I might try that.

• 1:05:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:12Speaker 05

  Look how small I am, I'm not taking up space. I might get a laugh and get in there.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  They're looking up at you like this.

• 1:05:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:05:17Speaker 04

  Get in there.

• 1:05:18Speaker 05

  Yeah. They're gonna throw me out. Yeah, the lines are too much, and I definitely feel, even in the time that I've been coming to New York, like, I've been coming to New York since I was nineteen years old, and even in that time, I have seen things change. So I can't imagine, for people that were born and raised here, it must feel crazy.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  I mean, and every, every day there's a new article, this is the West Village girl, and it's like, that is not the West Village girl. You know? But for me, it's mainly the lines. It's the lines and it's the people that move here thinking it's gonna be like what they see on social media, and as soon as they get here, they start complaining about the people who already live here.

• 1:05:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, the complaining about New York stuff is really fucking annoying. And, what was I thinking when you were saying that? Like, people, people moving in, oh, the fucking man on the street shit has gotta stop. The man on the street interviews have got to fucking stop. Going to Washington Square Park and seeing twelve hundred people with, out of the three thousand people that are there at that moment, with fucking tiny microphones shooting content. I'm like, this fucking sucks. Get outta here.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  Another example of social media ruining the city.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:06:26Speaker 04

  Cause you're, we're all in the park, either trying to take a shortcut or watch people dance or whatever, whatever, and they're like, so what do you think about, uh, la, la, la?

• 1:06:37Speaker 05

  That's alright. No, and it ruins your, it ruins my experience of the park, cause I'm like, I don't wanna be in the background of your fucking video. Like, stop filming everything.

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Right. I'm not supposed to be here, I called out of work, babe.

• 1:06:49Speaker 05

  Hello, I'm in trouble if someone knows I'm here.

• 1:06:50Speaker 04

  Now I'm going viral because I'm in the background trying to hide.

• 1:06:53Speaker 05

  Right, it just like heightens the feeling of living in a surveillance state. It feels like you're constantly at risk of being filmed and recorded, and it's ruining the ability to just participate in daily life.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  But I mean, even you go to a concert and everybody's phones are up, and it's like, babe, you not gonna watch this footage at home. Just watch it now.

• 1:07:12Speaker 05

  Enjoy it now.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  Or, it's like, I'm trying to enjoy it and it's all these phones in my face, and I'm just, now I'm watching the show through somebody else's cellphone.

• 1:07:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:21Speaker 04

  And I'm like, I'm so glad you have an iPhone eighteen, cause.

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  It is, okay, it is crystal clear, but still.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  I'm like, you zoom in, zoom in right there?

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:28Speaker 04

  Cause I can't see, but, or people are going to concerts with full, um, the light?

• 1:07:34Speaker 05

  Please. That is so annoying.

• 1:07:37Speaker 04

  Girl, why you got a ring light on your face?

• 1:07:39Speaker 05

  Like, anyone wants to see you right now, we're here to see.

• 1:07:41Speaker 04

  But everyone behind you is like this.

• 1:07:46Speaker 05

  Oh, you know what was a good concert, though? When we went to Amber Mark.

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  Amber Mark was so good.

• 1:07:53Speaker 05

  We had a night.

• 1:07:53Speaker 04

  So good.

• 1:07:55Speaker 05

  She turned it out. She looked so good. She sounded fucking amazing. We were such a fun group.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:08:03Speaker 05

  That was a night.

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  And we were standing right where we needed to stand.

• 1:08:06Speaker 05

  Yeah. That was me, you, Sydney, Leo, and Michelle, right? Was that our group?

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  Michelle was there!

• 1:08:12Speaker 05

  Michelle was there.

• 1:08:14Speaker 04

  Well, Michelle, you know, I can't really see. Hey, girl. That was you this whole time?

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  Why you didn't say nothing?

• 1:08:24Speaker 04

  I've been here for six hours. Oh, Michelle! Let me see your glasses again.

• 1:08:33Speaker 04

  I love live music.

• 1:08:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:34Speaker 04

  I love an artist that's gonna put on a good show, have on a good outfit, and the microphone is on.

• 1:08:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Speaker 04

  Have you seen Zara Larson?

• 1:08:40Speaker 05

  I have not.

• 1:08:41Speaker 04

  I saw her live. I was at Lollapalooza, and she's so fun to watch. And also, I didn't know that I knew that many songs from her.

• 1:08:50Speaker 05

  People are really on the Zara Larson train.

• 1:08:52Speaker 04

  She started singing, and I was like, that's Zara Larson?

• 1:08:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:56Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, that's Zara. She's been around for like 10 years.

• 1:08:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, you get the feeling she's really appreciating the moment.

• 1:09:00Speaker 04

  She is.

• 1:09:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Speaker 04

  She's fun.

• 1:09:02Speaker 05

  That's a lot of fun.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  I liked her. And then I saw Charli XCX. And I was pleasantly surprised.

• 1:09:08Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:09:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I saw you. There was a pause there. You was like...

• 1:09:10Speaker 05

  I was waiting to see, cuz you said you did this. You go, I saw Zara Larson. It was lovely. And then I saw Charli XCX. And I was like, okay.

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  No, Charli, I was pleasantly surprised.

• 1:09:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:21Speaker 05

  What was the surprise? What was the difference between expectation and reality?

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  Um, I thought she didn't really do too much, except walk back and forth, but she did with some choreo.

• 1:09:31Speaker 05

  She's moving up there.

• 1:09:32Speaker 04

  Yes. She throwing that head around. I said, she must got good insurance.

• 1:09:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Speaker 04

  Cuz the neck work was working.

• 1:09:40Speaker 05

  And she does look sickening.

• 1:09:41Speaker 04

  She does. And she's wearing like, she's wearing like a boot, or a stiletto, or something that I'm like, huh. That, I would be in a flat shoe.

• 1:09:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  Or a kitten.

• 1:09:51Speaker 05

  I'd be in a runner. I'd be in a trainer if I was doing all that.

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  New Balance.

• 1:09:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Or those little dancer heels that are like this.

• 1:09:59Speaker 05

  Teeny, tiny, thick ones.

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  The Dancing with the Stars shoes.

• 1:10:01Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly right.

• 1:10:02Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:03Speaker 05

  Damn. I need to, I haven't seen Charli in a minute. I saw her on the Sweat Tour. I need to get back to it. I think she went out again, didn't she, since then? She did another tour after that.

• 1:10:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think she's on tour now. She has a new album.

• 1:10:14Speaker 05

  I gotta go back. Marie, you wanna play a game?

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:16Speaker 05

  I got a game for you.

• 1:10:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:18Speaker 05

  You know what? I'm gonna read you 10 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. 15 statements, actually.

• 1:10:23Speaker 04

  Great.

• 1:10:24Speaker 05

  Um, you're gonna tell me if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  Woo! That's enough for a coffee.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  You can start picking up the cost from your landlord if you win this.

• 1:10:35Speaker 05

  Are you ready?

• 1:10:36Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:36Speaker 05

  Green Eggs and Ham was published in 1960.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  True. The Baltimore Orioles have won three World Series titles.

• 1:10:47Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:10:48Speaker 05

  True.

• 1:10:52Speaker 05

  Florence is the capital of Italy.

• 1:10:56Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:10:56Speaker 05

  False, it's Rome.

• 1:10:57Speaker 04

  Ooh, I said one of these gotta be false.

• 1:11:03Speaker 05

  The Nintendo GameCube is older than Jenna Ortega.

• 1:11:06Speaker 04

  I don't know who... True.

• 1:11:09Speaker 05

  True. The Seton Hall University's motto is "Despite hazards, move forward."

• 1:11:14Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:11:15Speaker 05

  True.

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  You know what's crazy? I went to Seton Hall.

• 1:11:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:18Speaker 04

  I was like, did they just say...

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  Chance knows that. He knows that. He's doing this shit on purpose. Uh, Denny's was originally called Danny's Donuts.

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:11:26Speaker 05

  True. In Air Bud 3, the dog played baseball.

• 1:11:29Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:11:30Speaker 05

  In Air Bud 3...

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  Is it the original dog, or is this his child?

• 1:11:34Speaker 05

  It's the third movie.

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  Cuz dogs don't even be living that long. I'm gonna say false.

• 1:11:40Speaker 05

  False, it was soccer.

• 1:11:41Speaker 04

  Oh, boom. And how does a dog play baseball?

• 1:11:44Speaker 05

  You gotta check out the movie to find out.

• 1:11:46Speaker 04

  We know. He played soccer, though, babe.

• 1:11:49Speaker 05

  This is how they do it.

• 1:11:49Speaker 04

  The dog's like this.

• 1:11:53Speaker 04

  Or the dog is in the back like, shrrr.

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  The dog's like this.

• 1:11:59Speaker 05

  He's the umpire.

• 1:12:03Speaker 05

  A scaling triangle has two equal sides. Is it saling or scaling?

• 1:12:07Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 1:12:08Speaker 05

  Scaling has two equal sides.

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:12:12Speaker 05

  False, no equal sides.

• 1:12:13Speaker 04

  Okay, cuz I know isosceles, and I know equilateral, okay? Scalene, I don't know her.

• 1:12:20Speaker 05

  Scalene's different. T-Mobile is the largest cell phone network in the US.

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  That's what Catherine Zeta-Jones be saying. Is that true?

• 1:12:30Speaker 05

  False, it's Verizon.

• 1:12:31Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 1:12:35Speaker 04

  When Catherine Zeta-Jones talks, the whole United States is pink.

• 1:12:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's... Making it look that way.

• 1:12:41Speaker 04

  Yes. I said the Electoral College for the Catherine Zeta-Jones. We gotta talk to them.

• 1:12:47Speaker 05

  Okay, here, okay, this, good job, Chance. This is a good one. Haiti is the second oldest independent nation in the Western Hemisphere.

• 1:12:54Speaker 04

  No, that's false. It's the first.

• 1:12:57Speaker 05

  It's true.

• 1:12:59Speaker 04

  Who's the first?

• 1:13:00Speaker 05

  The United States.

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  No. Haiti got their independence before the America, America did.

• 1:13:07Speaker 05

  Like Haiti.com said this. Haiti.com!

• 1:13:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that's run by the United States.

• 1:13:15Speaker 05

  Haiti.com!

• 1:13:16Speaker 04

  You gotta go to Haiti.edu.

• 1:13:18Speaker 05

  You gotta go to Haiti.Haiti.

• 1:13:22Speaker 05

  Saturn is the seventh planet from the sun.

• 1:13:25Speaker 04

  Oh, hold on.

• 1:13:28Speaker 04

  Wait.

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  Damn, I don't know where Saturn is. My very excellent mother just... No, it's the sixth.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  False, it's the sixth.

• 1:13:40Speaker 04

  Yeah! Hold on, my very excellent mother just served me nutty peanut butter.

• 1:13:49Speaker 05

  Really? I didn't know this thing, this device.

• 1:13:51Speaker 04

  That's how you memorize the planet.

• 1:13:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, I didn't know that one. What was it? Never eat soggy waffles. That was the directions one that we learned. Never eat soggy waffles.

• 1:14:03Speaker 05

  Octopuses die after giving birth.

• 1:14:06Speaker 04

  Is that why they call it octopus?

• 1:14:15Speaker 04

  Octopus. Um, false.

• 1:14:20Speaker 05

  It's true.

• 1:14:20Speaker 04

  So octopuses don't have moms?

• 1:14:22Speaker 05

  I guess not. I guess not. I was really sad to read that.

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  Immediately after.

• 1:14:28Speaker 05

  Like, straight after death, straight after birth, we're dying?

• 1:14:31Speaker 04

  Hey.

• 1:14:32Speaker 05

  That's scary.

• 1:14:33Speaker 04

  That's a reason to not do it, babe.

• 1:14:34Speaker 05

  Well, right.

• 1:14:35Speaker 04

  Live your life, travel the world.

• 1:14:36Speaker 05

  So octopuses don't have moms? Okay, Lyft was originally called RideLink.

• 1:14:42Speaker 04

  Uh, that feels true.

• 1:14:44Speaker 05

  False, Zimride. Earlobes have no biological purpose.

• 1:14:48Speaker 04

  No, mine do.

• 1:14:53Speaker 04

  Stop.

• 1:14:56Speaker 04

  I'm gonna say... Damn, you know, I'm not a doctor, but from the pit, I'm gonna say true.

• 1:15:05Speaker 05

  It is true. The Bell House opened in 2008.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  Did it?

• 1:15:13Speaker 04

  This ain't...

• 1:15:16Speaker 04

  The Bell House opened in 2008. I'm gonna say that's... Ooh, this really could go any way. Um... I'm gonna say that's true.

• 1:15:30Speaker 05

  What'd you say?

• 1:15:31Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:15:32Speaker 05

  It's true. Give it to her.

• 1:15:34Speaker 04

  Yes!

• 1:15:34Speaker 05

  How much'd she get? Nine.

• 1:15:37Speaker 04

  Including the Bell House? But I'm gonna need to check your work.

• 1:15:40Speaker 05

  Check on Haiti. Haiti was, declared its independence on January 1st, 1804. And is the world's first black republic and the second independent nation in the Western Hemisphere. Damn, the US did get in there. The US did get in there. That's sad. I hate to see it. I was rooting for Haiti the whole time. Y'all know that.

• 1:15:58Speaker 04

  Me, too. Big fan of their work.

• 1:16:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, y'all know that. Oh, Marie, thanks for doing it.

• 1:16:05Speaker 04

  Thank you for letting me sit here and have my socks out. And, I mean, I don't know what the shot gave, cuz for most of it, I was like this.

• 1:16:13Speaker 05

  I saw Nicole mess with the cameras.

• 1:16:14Speaker 04

  And for some of it, I was like this.

• 1:16:17Speaker 05

  Nicole never says a word, but I know when we have an active in the seat guest, I just see Nicole going...

• 1:16:24Speaker 04

  I hope there's not a hole in my pants, and I hope that my fly was not zipped.

• 1:16:27Speaker 05

  They'll let you know. Do you wanna tell people where they can find you?

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  CGI it. Uh, yeah, you can find me at the gym. I be working out.

• 1:16:33Speaker 05

  Hello. And printing.

• 1:16:34Speaker 04

  And printing.

• 1:16:35Speaker 05

  At the gym printer.

• 1:16:36Speaker 04

  Mainly I go to the gym to print.

• 1:16:38Speaker 05

  You can find me at the gym printer.

• 1:16:39Speaker 04

  I'll go in, I print, I leave. But I check in every time.

• 1:16:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Because I need it to show on my calendar that I went to gym that day.

• 1:16:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:47Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, you can find me on, um, at Reezy on Instagram, R-E-E-E-Z-Y, um, or our podcast when it comes back. We need to talk about mess.

• 1:16:58Speaker 05

  I can't wait. We need to talk.

• 1:16:59Speaker 04

  We need to talk about mess.

• 1:17:00Speaker 05

  We need to talk in a big way. Let's talk right now when we get off this. Thanks for doing it, Marie. We love ya. Appreciate you.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  This holiday, all plans, even unlimited, are just $15 a month. A holiday deal this good obviously deserves an enormously expensive holiday song, like "All I Want..." Right. OK, we can afford that. You know what? Forget the music budget. We're going to stick with whatever's in the public domain. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch.

• 1:17:24Speaker 02

  Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only. Greater than 50GB may slow when network is busy. See terms.

• 1:17:37Speaker 03

  Does checking your bank statements feel like digging through a dusty attic full of forgotten subscriptions and old free trials?

• 1:17:45Speaker 03

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• 1:18:06Speaker 05

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