Sydnee Washington Returns

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Sydnee Washington! Sydnee and Caleb talk about cruise ships, the need for more Queen Latifah in the universe, flirting, and much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Sydnee! @justsydbw Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Visit https://Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. To get involved, text UPDATE to 22422 or visit https://ImForPP.org Find exactly what you’re booking for at Booking.com. Book today on the site or in the app. So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite?

• 0:03Speaker 00

  Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.

• 0:09Speaker 02

  Hey, let's get back to work, please.

• 0:10Speaker 00

  But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  Taylor Hansen? Nice.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Try one.

• 0:18Speaker 02

  Mmm.

• 0:22Speaker 03

  King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  Wave.

• 0:34Speaker 03

  I've had them done twice, and I am obsessed with the idea of, you know, you want to upgrade yourself, you want to do a little...

• 0:41Speaker 02

  What'd you have done to them? Bigger both times?

• 0:43Speaker 03

  Yes, yes. And I'm, I think, if I get another gig, I'm gonna get them done again.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  First of all, you know there's always something with me.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  There's always something.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  I do know this.

• 0:59Speaker 03

  And so, I said when I come back on your podcast, I want to be, like, well-adjusted. I want my life in order, and we're not there yet.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  No, okay.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  We're not there yet.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  No, what's going on?

• 1:10Speaker 03

  Well, the thing is, is that I'm in a relationship, things are good, comedy is going well.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  Um, but I feel like I want to move towards, like, when I want to be an adult. And I'm not, like, I eat candy in the morning. I'm drinking, I'm smashing Red Bull every other day.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  I eat candy in the morning?

• 1:32Speaker 03

  I eat candy in the morning. You thought I was gonna be like, "I'm doing crack!" You're like, "No."

• 1:37Speaker 02

  No, because I gotta tell you, even when you were saying, "I'm not doing well," I'm like, Sid, you live in a beautiful apartment. You have a lovely, admirable relationship.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  I do.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  You're getting up constantly. I have never seen you turn up to any function, the smallest function, an apartment hangout on my couch where the entire point is to get high and eat snacks. You have never not showed up, full beat, hair, outfit. So I don't, when you say your life's not together, I'm like, keep in mind, you're more together than I am. And so I'm wondering what the hell you're talking about, but then the candy in the morning, obviously.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  I'd like you off the Red Bull. I'd like you off candy in the morning, of course.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  Please, please. It's just, but Lisa Traeger, you know, we love her. She's like, you gotta have advice. She's like, you don't drink, you don't smoke, you're not committing crimes. What is a little candy in the morning? What is, you know, a Red Bull at 9:00 PM?

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  And I said, Lisa's got a point.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  She kinda does.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  She's got a point.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  This is one of those moments where we gotta hand it to Lisa.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  You gotta give it to Lisa. You're like, you know what? You're making sense.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  So, but I wanna move toward, cause you know, I'm getting older and you were just telling me about going to the doctor and I'm like, I really need to take that seriously.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  My friend Kevin, Kevin Morby, who has been on the show, he gave me some of the best advice I've, and I really have taken it to heart.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  He said after 30, the first time something feels off, anytime something feels off, go to the doctor. Just immediately do, and nothing feels off. I'm going just preventively. Like, I'm going just to get stuff run because I'm having a weird kind of re-flare up of my old hypochondria that I had kicked. But just the, anytime something feels off, just go. If you have, if you have, I know and that's a privilege if you have health insurance and stuff.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  I was like.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  But I'm saying, if you have that option, and even if it's like, it's gonna cost you a little bit, but you technically could, do it. And of course, if you're listening and you don't have health insurance, I send all my love and I feel bad that I said the thing, but this is for people who do have health insurance.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Okay, but look at this. This is what really messes me up, right? So obviously, I'm mentally ill. I have ADHD, anxiety, depression, whatever. And so I need to get my insurance through WGA.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Right? In order to do that, you gotta get on the phone.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  And I get on the phone, they got me on hold. They got me on hold. They said I gotta do this, I gotta do that. By the time I get to the person who's actually gonna start my insurance up, I'd already hung up and took a nap.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Sid, here's what we're gonna do.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  We, and I, this, I am sending this out to everybody. Everybody who's listening, I am sending this out over the airwaves to you.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  We need to start leaning on our friends.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Even when we feel like it's not warranted. What you need to do is, if that's something that needs to get done, and you know I am not gonna sit on that phone, you need to call me, you need to call Lisa, you need to call Marie, call somebody and be like, "Do you have two hours this week to come and sit with me and hold my hand while we do this?"

• 4:22Speaker 03

  They do not. And, they do not, you do, okay.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  I will make two hours.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Well, you gotta take the D and D off. Okay.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Text.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  I gotta, I gotta.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Text, don't play games with me. No, and don't you guys laugh at it either. No, you don't say it, you don't laugh at it.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  No, but I'll come over. I'll come over.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  We'll get it sorted.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  We're gonna get it done.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  We'll get it done.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  We'll get it done.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  If this is the thing.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  It is the thing.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  We'll get it sorted.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  It is. And, and, and then after that, and then when I do get their insurance and I go to the doctor and everything is in order, I will still find a way to be like, "You know what?"

• 4:53Speaker 02

  It sucks.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  It sucks, yeah.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  It totally sucks.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  It totally sucks, but you're doing, I think you're doing really well. I feel like you're in a much better place than a couple of years ago.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Woo, when I came the first time to So True, I was fresh off a breakup, I just left LA, I was talking shit about everything and everybody. I was in a, I was like, "Bring back De Blasio," like, I was saying anything. I was saying anything. I, and I wanna apologize for a lot of the things that I said. And now, I'm, I'm in a good place, I am.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  I am.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  I really like it.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  I am, I, the thing is, is that the world is on fire, but I'm looking to the little light like you and my friends, and, you know, the Dodo, I go to the Dodo when I just wanna get in a better place.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  What's going on with the Dodo?

• 5:38Speaker 03

  You don't know about the Dodo?

• 5:39Speaker 02

  What's up with the Dodo?

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Come on, you know about the Dodo.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  What are you going to the Dodo for?

• 5:41Speaker 03

  Okay, so, they do these videos, long-winded, rehabilitating animals. And so, you'll see, like, a little dog limping and missing an ear. And then all of a sudden, you know, three minutes in, the ear is back. It's, the, the dog is frolicking.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  It's got like a, you know, a Burberry scarf on, like, they got a family. Like, it's those, those things where you see this little thing that is doing bad, Dodo is like, "No, they're..." There's, there's, there's light at the end of the tunnel and it reminds me of like, if that could happen, you know, for this beaver, then there's hope for me as well.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. This is a channel of some sort?

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Uh, yes, yes, it's on Instagram, it's on, it's on TikTok, it's on YouTube, it's, yeah. Get into it.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  I really might.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's otters, there's cappy bar, whatever you want, they got. Owls. There was an owl that was found in a, in a train and it was overheated and it came out and it looked a little wonky. They were like, this, this owl should be gone, but it's still here and they're like, he can't, he can't really hear or see, but he's alive.

• 6:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  And, um, they, they got him with a, another owl that's like older and kind of out of it as well. And they're like besties.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they'll try to talk to one of them and they're just like, and I said, I relate to this, it's just disassociating.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  You put these two fucked up owls together?

• 7:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  They made a beautiful friendship.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's us.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Yes, it is us.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  That's me and you.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  No, you're, you're way more, you know, there.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  That's me and you in a big way. Dude, that reminds me, I hooked up with a guy a couple of weeks ago.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Not the, not the owls out of it, you're like, this reminds me of somebody I've had sex with.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  It's the video suggestions.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  It's the video suggestions. I hooked up with this guy, we had a, we had a fun date and we went back to his place and, and hooked up. And he lives in LA and.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Oh, you should have started with that.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  I know.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  And then, uh, yesterday, he sent me a, a, a link to a video and he goes, this made me think of you, I should have sent it in the moment. This made me think of you the other day, I should have sent it in the moment, but sending it now. And I click on the link, it's like a 27 minute video essay that's like, what is the meaning of life? And I was thinking back on the date and I'm like, what did we get into? That this made you think of me, because I'm like, I thought we had a nice time, but I was like, what did we, what did I put across that made you, and I was happy about getting the video, I liked it, that is the kind of stuff I'm into. I was like, a 27 minute video essay, that's the kind of follow up I'm getting.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Well, cause you know, you're very, you're very heady, what is it, cerebral, like you, is that, that's not the word you want.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm just listening, I'm taking this in, I'm taking this in.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  I feel like you can have really good, deep conversations that. It's about, you know, everything and anything. So I think maybe in the date, you kind of trailed off to that.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  You're very funny, but you could get deep. Like, what else do we have to offer?

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Other than jokes.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  People like to tell me their problems. I think, I know that happened on the date. He was telling me some of his problems.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  It's not a date if somebody's not trauma dumping over the breadsticks.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  You know, people are really apologetic when they do that. And I go, I would, I far prefer this to stupid bullshit. Tell me your problems. Let's get into it. Cause I've also, by the way, I've got solutions.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  You are solution oriented.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  We can fix this up.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  You're a type A person, and I like that.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Do you guys think I'm type A?

• 8:55Speaker 03

  I think you're type A.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  I think the way we were supposed to do, we were supposed to go on a trip, we were supposed to go to New Mexico or Mexico City or something like that. And you had, you, you know, the Airbnb, the flights, all that stuff. You were on it. You, the emails.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  I trust myself.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  I trust myself to get things done right.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, you also were like, okay, Sydney and Lisa's on the chat. These bitches not doing that.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  That was one thing. You were like, I have to come with a plan because we can't rely, rely on them. So there was that.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  But also I wanted to say, you said that you would never go on a girls' trip or something like that. And then I saw you with girls on a trip.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  What trip?

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Did you go to Ireland or Scotland?

• 9:39Speaker 02

  That, you know what?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Dublin?

• 9:41Speaker 02

  I did, I was in the same city as some girls. I stayed separate. I stayed separate. I'm not doing the big house with girls anymore.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  I'm not doing the big house with girls anymore, Sid. It's over. I do, I love women. I have a lot of respect for women. I want to shout out all women. Right now I am shouting out all women. Shout out to you, to you girls. Thank you for everything that you do in the world. You can't stay in the same house as me on vacation. It's a mess.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Why?

• 10:06Speaker 02

  There's attitude problems.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  There's hair dryers everywhere.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  There's clothes everywhere.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  It's, it's 45 minutes after we said we'd get out the door to get out the door.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Just to go to lunch. Just to go to lunch. We're coming back for a nap before we do the evening stuff. I love women. I have so much respect for women. We're not staying in the same house on vacation anymore. I'll be in my own hotel room. I will see you at the plans.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  You know, I hate when you're right. Because you're right. You're fucking right. You really are. And we're too grown. We're too grown.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  And by the way, I was never going on trips with gay guys. That was, that was so far out of the realm of possibility. I was never gonna go. The gay guy vacations where it's like, we're going to, we're going to Cock Sock Island and we're gonna...

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Fire Island, you mean?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, whatever they call it. Yeah, we're going to Cock Sock Island and we're all gonna stay in a 25-person house and everyone's bringing, uh, kay.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  I was never involved in that. So I was willing to trust women due to my massive respect for them. And then I lived with some of them on trips and I said, it's a different situation.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  It's, the thing is, when we all come together, right? That's where it becomes a mess. If you do one-on-one, and me and you went on a trip?

• 11:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  You could deal with one mess.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Six messes, that's too much.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Me and my friend Ally can go on trips together. We can stay in the same place. One woman at a time. I'm a one woman at a time guy. I'm very conservative.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  You would be an amazing as a straight guy.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  I know it.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Why don't you do it?

• 11:29Speaker 02

  I know it because I, you know, I, there's varying, um, responses when I say this kind of stuff, but I'm not attracted to women and that upsets people. They get really upset. I don't want to have sex with women.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Why?

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Do I not want to have sex with women?

• 11:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  I can't get hard about it.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, it just doesn't make me hard at all.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  That's an amazing answer. Okay.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  It doesn't make me hard at all.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Which I have in common with a lot of straight guys, I've learned.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  To hear my girls tell it, I'm not the only guy feeling that way.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  I mean, the, the thing is, I mean, what is hard? You know, what is wet?

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Say that.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  You know? I feel like we're so in a, in a time where everything is like so sexual, like we gotta fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. We gotta be with all these people. And it's just like, I'm done. I did all that. I'm, I'm, I've juiced that out. And so it's no longer about the, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's like, what, what do we have together?

• 12:25Speaker 02

  I'm trying to get to where you are.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  If we can't have sex, then what?

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  How do you satisfy me? Not even just like mentally, just like existence. How do you, we be together and I'm content? You and I? I've actually come to your house and if I could just be in the corner on the couch scrolling and you somewhere, you know, doing what you do on the phone, you know, your meetings and whatnot. I could do that all day.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  I could literally do that and feel like we had a solid day.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  I have that with all my friends.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  It's the romance part of it that becomes troublesome.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  And see, that's where you gotta look, you gotta look in and say, that could be romantic.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz that's what I do with my girlfriend. That's what I do. She'll be on the phone, working or whatnot, and I'll be scrolling. I'm like, damn, this is, phew, I love this relationship.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  You know, and then occasionally, you know, we have sex and I'm like, this is nice as well.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Occasionally.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  But if we don't, occasionally, yes, yes. Hey, you guys talking about you gotta have sex three times a week? You're not working enough. You got a lot of time on your hands. You're having sex three times a week? Somebody's unemployed. Somebody's got a lot of free time. Somebody's not doing enough Sudoku.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  If you're having sex three times a week?

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Having sex five times in one night, bitch, you are not dehydrated. I am. I'm not doing five times.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  You gotta, first of all-

• 13:48Speaker 03

  I'm doing one time, we're good.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Sydney can't be having sex five times a night. She has candy to eat in the morning.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  She's gotta get up and go to the candy store.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Yo, you've never just like finished having sex and then there's just like some sour powers right now. You're like, something to take the edge off, you know?

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Come on. Come on. I'm taking some of those little rips, sour candies, just straight to the dome.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Oh, I love the rips.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Straight to the dome.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Listen, I just got my teeth in order, you know, a lot of cavities have been filled. I have Invisalign. I shouldn't even be fucking with candy, but I'm like, again, I need something. I need advice.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't care about sex, so it's like, I need the candy, I need the rips.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  Don't care about sex.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  This is crazy to say on such a wide platform.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  But can you, can you get to the point where you've exhausted all of the sexual things you could possibly do? That you're at a place where like, yeah, I did that.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  I'm trying desperately. I do think I'm getting close. I will say there's been a shift in the last three years where like, there are times that I'm like, kind of horny. And someone cute is messaging me and like, willing to come over at the moment. And in the past, I would have dropped everything. I stayed up until three in the morning, even though I had to be up at five. I'd do anything. And now I'm just like- There's something that has shifted, but I'm not fully where I want to be. I'd like to get to complete asexuality.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  That's where you want to get to.

• 15:03Speaker 02

  That would be ideal. Don't you think life would be amazing?

• 15:05Speaker 03

  I think you take it too far.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  But no, no, no shade to the asexuals. I'll say, hey, I love the A.

• 15:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  But no, I, A.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Shoutouts to y'all in many ways.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  To the A. Uh, but, I mean, being intimate, there's something about that that is also beautiful. But the way that they've ran through this, like, sexual talk, to talk you through it, the, oh, let me spit in your mouth. Like, all of this saying out loud.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  It's, it's kind of giving me the ick.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Like, I don't even, I don't even really do dirty talk no more.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Really?

• 15:37Speaker 03

  I like silence. Oh, nothing? Hearing nothing? Oh, I'm wet. I am. Slip off the, slip off the bed.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Nothingness is amazing.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Just like, because sometimes somebody will talk too much and you're like, actually, let me call the car. Let me get up out of here, you know?

• 15:54Speaker 02

  See, I don't, I can't do no talking.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  But you talk for a living, Caleb. Aren't you exhausted? People are talking to you, you gotta hear everybody's thoughts.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  You, I mean, is your phone bricked up?

• 16:06Speaker 02

  No, I got the Android.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Okay, you got the Android.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  I got the Android.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Well, you're close to bricked.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  It changed everything.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  It changed everything, the green bubbles.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Android is great.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  The green bubbles.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  People are not texting me. People are, people are emailing me and saying, I think your number changed. Uh, I wanted to ask you about this. And I go, that's perfect. Keep it in the email.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  I love that. Don't, do not be texting me unless you're a very dear friend.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I think that because I hear all these opinions and I'm seeing all the content and everybody's got a show, everything's created, it's literally has taken, you know, all the fun out of things that just hearing nothing is actually exciting.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  To sit in silence, you ever, like, go to a restaurant and you're just sitting there, you're eating, and people are just eating and they're not, so how was the day? They're talking about work, like, just not hearing that?

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  You're like, the food tastes better.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  The bartender is actually, you could just hear the jigger and the shaking. You're like, oh, that's music to my ears.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  But I don't know, maybe it's just me. Maybe my antidepressants is just too damn high. I think I might have to go down.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  I'm really happy with the.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  I might have to go down.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  The things you're saying are making me very happy.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Really?

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm happy for you. Do you know what I can't shake in my mind right now?

• 17:20Speaker 03

  What?

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Earlier, when you asked if I was type A, the only person that didn't shake their head yes was Michelle. And that's completely fine, except for, Michelle texted me yesterday.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Michelle texted me yesterday, sent me a link to an article.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Hold on. The article was headlined, she sent me a link to a New York Times article. The article was headlined, Celebrity Assistance Exists to Indulge Their Bosses, But When Does Duty Cross the Line?

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  And, and really, really sent that to me.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Is that passive aggressive?

• 17:55Speaker 02

  People don't respect me. I mean, you know, it's really, it's really, really interesting. Yeah, Michelle?

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  So what you been telling your mom?

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Right, yeah! That's what I said. I wasn't gonna bring mom into it, because I don't know the comfort level.

• 18:12Speaker 04

  That's a great question. Mom loves Caleb, like, huge fan.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Oh, the moms love you. Down.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  She's just like classic mom who sends me like crazy articles, like when she sees like even a single word that relates to my life. But she saw assistant, and she was like, perfect, a perfect article.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Celebrity and assistant, she said this has to pertain to.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  When does duty cross the line? When does duty cross the line sent me.

• 18:34Speaker 03

  Hold on, Caleb, I just want, we do respect you, right? But there's something about your aura that just gets us too comfortable.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  Where it's like, I could see you in an authoritative like manner, but I'm also like, Woody's got his knees out. Like, you can't, you can't tell me what to do when I can see your calves.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  That's what's happening with all of these guys over here. I don't know. I'll, I'll, I will wear anything to start getting some respect. It's really crazy.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Slacks. I wanna see some, I want some business slacks.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  I will wear a fucking three-piece suit if that's what it takes.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  You know, and also, I'm glad that you brought this up about not being taken seriously. Me too.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Okay, so, I'm here for the pivot, cuz I, I, people say that they like, everybody likes me. Oh, you're everybody's friend. You're so nice. You're so, I wanna shut it down.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Why?

• 19:22Speaker 03

  I'm ready to just do, I wanna be a, I wanna be a bick, a bick, not bitch, but bick. I wanna be the B I C in bitch.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Why's that?

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Oh, wait, did I spell it right? No, it's B I T.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  The T comes first, but you don't wanna be the bit. You don't wanna be the bit. Cuz then what are you, once again, a joke? Let's be the bick. Let's be the bick. The lighter brand.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  I wanna, I wanna get things going.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  This is so on-brand for me that I can't, like, I am the comedy. It just comes out. And I don't even try.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  But no, I'm, I'm actually tired of being taken for granted, or people just know that I'm gonna show up, and I'm gonna be supportive, and I'm gonna report, repost, and com, I gotta stop all that. I gotta shut it down. I gotta start, um, creating boundaries, and I gotta make people miss me, and, and be like, oh, maybe she won't. Maybe she got something else to do.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  I need to do that.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Why? What consequence are you facing?

• 20:15Speaker 03

  You know, I, you do know that we're, we have a lot of mutual friends, a lot of people in the industry. And I do think that when people think that you're always gonna show, they just, they don't, they're not as appreciative of your support. They're like, well, you know, you always here. You, you know, you always gonna swing by.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Old reliable Sydney.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I wanna, I actually, no, I can't make it to your birthday, bitch. No, I can't, I can't make it to your wedding. I won't be there. I just won't, no, I can't.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  But I, there is a wedding I gotta, I am gonna go. I just, I'm type B, and I, I haven't responded yet, but I'm gonna RSVP.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. But I, I want someone to wonder what else could I possibly be doing?

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  To not show up to your shit.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I need that.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  I like this era for you.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, because we-

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Don't do it to me.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I would never. I would never. But I do think because we always have our phones, and the part of fools, and the, you know, everybody is just, like, have all this accent. We have lost the the wonder of like, are they coming? Like, will I see them? You know? That feeling of, I wonder if Caleb is coming to my birthday. Like, you came, you showed up. Oh, my, I was like genuinely so happy to see you. And I think that's lost in the, in the, oh, I know my, I know these people are coming, you know? Let me, let me ask these random friend of a friend to come and then be more excited to see. You don't even know this bitch's middle name. Like, why are you so, ah, so happy to see, you know?

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  I want to feel that when I see a friend that, yeah, I just saw you yesterday, but I'm here. I'm here for your taping. I'm not talking about Marie, but I'm just talking about in general.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Not Marie.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, Marie showed me love all the time.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  This is why I'm, this is why I'm telling everybody all the time.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Maybe, I'll try. I'll try to be there. I'm, I'm hoping to come by. Because that's the thing is, I don't really know. And I don't want to have this thing where like, we speak in such certainty.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  They're like, I will be there, I wouldn't miss it for the world. And then that's the shit that causes these like, you get 10 texts right before the event being like, I know I said I would come, but I got, I got hit by a bicycle. And then it's pictures of the injury so that you know they're not making it up. I'm like, I don't want to participate in that. I don't need to know, I trust. If you are in the mood to be at the thing you said you would be at, and you said you would come, that's cool. But if not, you really don't need to like provide evidence and like a, a court filing to me. It's all good, do your thing.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  I think that we also need to be okay with people saying, I'm not coming.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  I'm not, I'm not coming. I'm not coming.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  I'm just not coming, yeah.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  But people are scared to say that, people are upset to hear it. And I just want to get in a better place where I'm not feeling bad for like, actually, I just don't want to fucking go.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Do you know how many times I've dragged myself to things where like, my eye is kind of pink and my wig is flipped and my toe is dead? And my belly button is falling out. And I'm there, I'm there in the audience, hearing somebody say the same jokes that I didn't heard. But they need me there, they need my support because I am a cheerleader. And I'm like, well, I need to be in bed.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, my friend Amina, Amina Amani, she always is like, Sydney, it is okay to say no, it's okay for you not to be there. They will live. And I said, you know what? I want to get more into that.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  You know, I will say, you and Marie and Mateo and Lisa, like, our whole little crew of buddies, y'all are present.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  We show up.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  Y'all show up.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  I'm very, I'm like, I really am impressed by you guys and trying to, I'm trying all the time to be on the level and be as good of a friend to y'all as y'all are to everybody. Cause I'm like, y'all really show up in a way that's crazy.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Well, I'm not cool with my family, so.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  First of all.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  That, that's.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Say that.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  Cause if I had family, oh, y'all bitches wouldn't see me.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  If I had family that I fucked with, oh babe. I wouldn't be at anything. I would, the particle blocked, like, I would not be going to none of this shit. But because my friends are my village and everything, I, I want people to know that like, this love is real.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  If I could give you a kidney, I would, I, I would, I don't suggest you have it, but I would give it up. Because that is what it's about. I think we're so, also lost in the, the internet of everything and commodifying everything that you don't know what's real, what's fake, what's like endearing. And so, I, when I see my friends, I'm like, hey, I might not post a picture of you, but you know, we, we locked in.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's why I'm trying to get better at, when I say, I'm not coming and I don't want to give you the reasons. I'm talking about people that, I'm talking about fringe people that I'm like, I'm trying to make more space for the people I really need to show up for.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  I need to show up for the people who have showed up for me, my, my good, good dear friends and loved ones. I need to make more space for those people. And so unfortunately, it means that someone that I barely know, that I like well enough, no, I can't, I can't come to your, I don't know, like trivia for your cousin's work party or whatever. And I, I envy people who can make time for that, but I'm not gonna be the guy.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  That used to be me.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  For my people.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  That used to be me.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 25:21Speaker 03

  But I, I wanna know, what are ways that people can show up that is not just like physical? Cause maybe we need to give people other options.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  Like if you can't make it, you know, Venmo me fifty dollars.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  You know, I bought snacks thinking you were gonna, I got all this food. Thinking y'all were coming, send me some money.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did. I had to, because of Trash Mountain and the filming schedule last year, I had to miss one of my best friend from childhood's wedding. Like, just no way around it. Because I'm the lead of the movie and we can't reschedule the shooting schedule because we have no money. And I was just like, girl, I love you, but there's, there's simply nothing I can do. And I, I dropped a fat fucking check on the honeymoon fund. Like a stack. Because I was like, that, this doesn't, that to me doesn't replace my missing the wedding. Uh, I feel horrible about it, but.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  When she got that.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  This is what I can do.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  She was like, you know what, baby?

• 26:19Speaker 02

  This is what I can do.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  You can't make it to the baby shower. And that's okay. I'm good with that, too.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that, that, so I do think there's ways to show like remorse and participation for when you can't be there the way you want to be. But it doesn't, it doesn't replace. It's like, of course, we would have both rather I just be there.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I mean, getting back into like my family stuff, it's just like, you know, I, I grew up in a, a very like, not a nuclear, a nuclear home. I grew up with my great aunt and uncles. And so already I'm not with like my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother. And the way that they raised me is just like, family is everything. Family is everything. And so to be the opposite of where I am, like friends are everything. My mind totally flipped and I forget that friends could just cut you off at any moment. If they don't, if they don't want to be your friend anymore, that's done. Family, family is forever.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  Like my brother, my sister, they text me and I'm like, we are related. I, I guess I do need to respond or call you back.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  Also, we don't do friendship in that way. None of our, none of our inner friends would just drop us at any moment. You think your inner, you think Marie, Mateo, Lisa, me, Amina, you think any of us would just be like, no, we're done with Sydney?

• 27:37Speaker 03

  No, no, no. I wouldn't let them. I'm posting up, baby. We were talking about it.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 27:42Speaker 03

  But I do, I do have like some relationships that kind of just drifted off and I'm like.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  I'm surprised they didn't fight for it, you know? But like, what is this all about? Was it just something that you were like, oh, I guess this was different season, different reason? You know?

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Because I would fight for our friendship. I would fight for, oh, Marie, I'll lay on the train tracks for her.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  I know you would.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  I would, because that is so important. I, we made a joke when you did our podcast about like, you know, we don't have to make all money doing our podcast. I'd rather us just be friends. And she was like, you wouldn't, you wouldn't want to make a million dollars? You would rather us just be friends, you know?

• 28:29Speaker 02

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• 31:24Speaker 03

  I'd rather have the friendship than the celebrity, the red carpet, all that stuff. Because I've seen it, what it's done to people. They're miserable. Not you. Not you.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Well, I like to think I'm a little more invested in the friendship.

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Personally, I think, I like to think that's why it's not affecting me that way. The way that we've seen it. I mean, we've seen it ruin so many nice, good people. Just destroy them. They're so lonely and sad.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  The brain. Pride.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  But it's because they forgot, and I don't blame anybody. It's a really insidious thing. It's really, really hard to, uh, stop it from destroying you. But they let themselves forget that like, the biggest gift of all of this is the people. The biggest gift of all of this is the friendships, that we get to be around the coolest, nicest, funniest people. We get to work with the best people who wanna, who just wanna laugh and have fun and make good shit. That is the best part of all this. It's not the fucking parties with people more famous than you. It's not the, the luxuries of like, traveling well. Those things are certainly nice, but like, you really can't forget that the people are the best part and forsake everything for more money and more status, because that's when it fucking ruins you. The people are the best part.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  How did, how did you get to where you are, Caleb? How are you doing it? Like, I just, you're still a nice person. You still look out. How do you not get sidetracked and be like, "Yeah, I'm, I'm about to go to Beyonce's party"? Like, how do you not be that person?

• 32:51Speaker 02

  I would, I, I think it's the same, I, I guess this isn't true for everybody who experiences, but it's just growing up so fucking poor. Just growing up so poor and just, I, I just never really forget, like, "Yeah, this is all crazy. It's a gift to be able to like, pay my bills and, uh, take nice flights and like, go where I, to have freedom at all. To have freedom really is such a privilege and gift." But yeah, I, I just feel like, it feels impossible to me. It's not impossible, actually. We've seen it happen. I, if, I just can't imagine how I would lose myself in it. I can't imagine it.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Me and Marie went to Soho yesterday, and we went to Margiela, and I said, "Oh yeah, no, I need to get more money", because the way it felt so good to walk up in that bitch and know that your car was not getting declined.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  And then I was looking at these crazy prices. I was like, "Yeah, I got that."

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:40Speaker 03

  Like, I said, "Oh, now I see why people embezzle. Now I see why people rob, steal, and kill."

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Because I know when we walked in, they was like, "Who, who is he?", you know, we bouncing off the wall. They're like, "They ain't buying nothing. They just here wasting time." And then, because, you know, we are indecisive. We trying on this shoe. I'm like, "All my ankles is Mariah's like, oh, my feet are feet too dry. Like, we were being really silly.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  And then the sales associate realized, I was like, no, no, no, we're we're about we about to spend some coin in here. And I said, that's what I want to do. I want to do this with my friends. I want to take a trip and us just not think about money. Because I grew up poor and shit, last last year I was poor. So I like, I I know how.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  Let's not forget.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's not forget. But it just feels so good when you could treat the people that you're with good and get the things that you want. Who knows how many times I'm gonna get these wear these shoes that I I go to Union Hall. I'm not wearing my Marshalls at Union. Like, I'm not wearing my Marshalls at Bell House or, you know, on the side of Bushwick. Like, I'm not doing that. But I I want I want to get the nice things and I want to do. I I want the success like you have, but I don't think I'm ready for everything that comes with it. That's what it is.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  What do you mean? What do you think you're not ready for?

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Uh, I think that I I come in with my heart first and some people are like business or like they're just gonna be funny. I can't do that. Like, we even having this deep, serious conversation, no laugh happening. That's me most of the time.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  I know.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  You know?

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  And so I'm I feel like a lot of people have to be on, like, they have to mask. And I don't, I can't do that. I'm telling you, I mean, I ran up on Daniel Kaluuya yesterday because I didn't think it was him.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  And I I if I was him, I would be like, you're crazy. Like, I would have just yelled it, like, what's wrong with you? But he was just so kind. And I'm like, I don't know if I could be professional all the time.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'd run up on Daniel Kaluuya, too. Have you seen that clip of him and Robin?

• 35:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  That clip? She, ooh, the, ooh, I'm gonna ooh.

• 35:55Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  There is a clip of him doing Robin, oh, what is her last name? She's so wonderful.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Look it up, look it up. Robin.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Robin Daniel flirting. Robin Daniel flirting. Google, Chance. It's Robin Roberts. Robin Roberts.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  Who's Robin Roberts?

• 36:10Speaker 02

  She is so fabulous. Robin Roberts. There's this clip of him.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Robin Roberts?

• 36:14Speaker 02

  She has like a show. There's a clip of him.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Let me see, Robin Roberts.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Yes, play this clip, play this clip.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Oh, wait, yes. Oh, wait, she's fab.

• 36:22Speaker 05

  I'm buttering you up because can you tell us anything about Black Panther? Can you tell us anything? No, you know, you gotta give me more butter, man.

• 36:31Speaker 05

  That's not enough butter, man. You gotta come better than that.

• 36:35Speaker 05

  You better be glad we're not in the same studio. I'll come right back at you. What will you do? You are too much. You are right on time.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  The gay is slipping. The gay is slipping.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  The way he's looking at her.

• 36:54Speaker 05

  You have to, man. You gotta make it your tallest height. You gotta make it come at your tallest height. That's right. I'll bring more butter. I'll bring the butter next.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  I need him. First of all, both things. I need to hang out with her and I need to hang out with him in a different way. I need... Oh, yeah. You can thank you. Oh, my God.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Caleb, Caleb.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  That's the shit I'm talking about.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Can you do a class?

• 37:15Speaker 02

  That's the reason to be alive. Me?

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Daniel Kaluuya needs to do the class and I'm gonna enroll, because I'm gonna see him act like that.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  I see you in the interviews and you're very, you're very like, like, you're not coy, but it's something you got, you have something with you that it's like, I don't know if you would really have sex with them, but they're, I'm sure somebody in the interview would be like, is he coming on to me?

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Sydney!

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Is it me? It might be me and you.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  Sydney, I'm, I feel like we have that connection.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  We do, we do. But you know what? You let me be goofy and weird and strange and that's what, because people don't know that about me. Like, they see the outside and they're like, she's put together, all that ass, titties popping, teeth shining. And then I'll be like, you have nice nail beds. They're like, what? Like, who's looking at your nail beds?

• 38:01Speaker 02

  Do you think, do you think that people have, do you think that people have a perception issue with you? Do people want you to be something that you're not?

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Yes. Yes. I, like, right now, I am doing my show called My Black Barbie Story. And it's, it's about like, all the Barbies that I find on, on the internet, reenacting stories that have happened in my life. It's so goofy and odd and strange. It's like, why would you tell these stories? It's like, because that's who I really am. I don't, I wanna look good, but I'm a mess. Things have happened to me that I'm like, I should be ashamed of, but I'm not. Why am I ashamed? They happen and that, that's who makes me who I am today.

• 38:42Speaker 00

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Kinks, why and cinnamon swirl bite?

• 38:46Speaker 00

  Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one.

• 38:52Speaker 06

  Hey, let's get back to work, please.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.

• 38:58Speaker 06

  Taylor Hanson? Nice.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Try one.

• 39:01Speaker 06

  Mmm.

• 39:05Speaker 07

  King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  So I wouldn't be so interesting or an amazing storyteller if I didn't allow those things to happen. And I just want to release myself of like posting and making sure everything looks right or getting online and making sure that, oh, my lace is not showing. It's like, I can't. I'm actually exhausted. I literally have no strength. I want to show up in a bonnet and talk shit and be like free, like the people on TikTok in Missouri. Like, I want to be like them.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  But because I've set myself up where like, I'm always wearing a heel, I'm always beat, I got my lashes on. People see that and they're like, oh, you're gonna come and be cool and collect. No, I'm sweating. I'm sweating right now. My coochie is damp. And it's not because you're making me feel sexy. I'm just, I'm nervous.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  I'm, the anxiety is running through me right now.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  So what do you think the perception problem is? People want you to be X, but you are Y. What are the X and Y?

• 40:09Speaker 03

  The X is, okay, here's the X. Marie.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  They want you to be Marie?

• 40:13Speaker 03

  No, they don't want me to be Marie, but Marie is so freaking cool. She's so funny. She's like, yeah, I'm not worried about that. She'll show up late, she's not gonna say sorry. She's like, hey, y'all, what's up? Like, let's start. Like, she's not worried about like if you're mad or not. She's like, well, I know that I'm a deliver, you know? That's not me. I'm saying sorry. Like, I'm sweating, I'm stressed, I'm fumbling, I'm, I have a lisp. I'm saying words wrong. Like, I want to come off so together, but I'm gonna show every time that I'm not. But people like you, like her, you just got it. You just...

• 40:49Speaker 02

  You know, Marie, though, there's something really funny that I think about often with both of you, actually, where I think there are a lot of, there are a lot of particularly like 20-somethings in Brooklyn that they're trying to do cool by being aloof and uninterested.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  They're not, they're not asking anybody any questions, they're not interested in anybody else. They're trying to do cool through like disinterest and like nose in the air behavior.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  But they're, they're doing that to try and impress or be like people like you and Marie. And nobody actually cool is like that.

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Y'all aren't like that. Y'all care about people. Y'all ask questions. Y'all like, no, Marie's not gonna apologize for being late.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  But she doesn't need to because you know it's not coming from a place of malice. And it is really like, Marie's like getting her energy together. She's showing up great energy every time. It's not like she shows up late and then she's a huge bitch. She shows up late and she's the life of every room she's in. It's like, there's something about coolness that I think a lot of particularly young people, like younger people, are really not understanding that they think being cool is being the, the person who cares the least in the room. And the actual coolest people, the ones that they actually look up to, are not like that. And I'm like, y'all gotta get that figured out. Cause it's really not cool. And you just seem fucking boring and rude.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  It really bothers me.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Who's the coolest person you've met?

• 42:11Speaker 02

  The coolest person I've met?

• 42:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. As of late.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  The coolest person I've met as of late. Damn, I don't know.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  This is tough.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Who is the coolest person I've met lately?

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Or somebody that you, you went back, you're like, damn, that was such a good time. Like, I need to see more of them.

• 42:28Speaker 02

  So many people like that. I mean, but I'm trying to think the coolest person I've met lately. I really, it's a funny time to ask me because I've been really in my like trying to support my friends bag right now. Like I'm taking trips just to see friends concerts. Like I'm really trying to like, do that whole thing. But who's the coolest person I've met lately? You know what? Oh, oh, um, uh, there's this guy called Coach Ime who plays in Kevin Morby's band.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  And I've been seeing Kevin a lot right now. And it's not that I've just met him, but we got to really have a conversation for the first time after the show in LA. And just a cool guy. Just a really nice guy, down to earth, really fucking good at what he does. He has a fucking, uh, in, in Kevin's show right now, he has a saxophone solo that brings the fucking house down. He also plays the flute. He plays all kinds of cool shit. Plays the bongos.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  Come to me.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  But he's somebody-

• 43:18Speaker 03

  Come to me.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  That I was like, cause I've known him.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get into him.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  He's cool. He's cool as fuck.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  I'm gonna get-

• 43:22Speaker 02

  He used to play with, um, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. Have you ever listened to them?

• 43:26Speaker 03

  No.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  They're great. I'll show you some of their stuff. They're great. But, or maybe he still does play with them. Sorry, Coach Ime, if I'm, uh, getting that wrong.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  Do you have a picture of him? I'm a visual person.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  I'll show you one later.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  But that was, that was a person who I was like, oh, he's so fucking cool. I'm really glad we got to chit chat.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  You know who's really cool, I like truly enjoy hanging out with? Um, Richard Perez.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  Richard Perez is so, we're supposed to have him on the show. He is so goddamn funny.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  You have to. He's so funny.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  DNA funny.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  He like, the characters, but then like you'll be in the, in the green room somewhere and he's just like pouring his heart out and like showing you like, oh yeah, no, this, I'm cool online. But I do worry, I am thinking about this, I do stress and I'm like, I love these moments. Cause online, I'm like, I see this perception and I, I, well, no, I see this thing that he's putting out and I'm like, oh, he's great at branding and marketing, but then I also get to see the real him behind the, the curtain and that's what makes me want to hang out with him more, even though I only see him at the shows. But I, I think he's so cool and Marley, Marley is out of her mind, but.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  Very fun and just being themselves.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Uh, Richard, yeah, Marley's so funny, Richard's so funny. I, Richard's in that, a camp of people in, uh, specifically New York comedy that I'm like, we've run into each other a couple of times. I have so much respect for him. I would like to spend more time with him.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  And I need to, I actually need to make a better effort about that. That's something I'm, I'm trying to do right now is like make a better effort. It's very easy at this point in my life to curate every single minute of my day with only people and things I like. Like I could really go every day and never be in an uncomfortable situation.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Really?

• 45:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. At this, yeah, cause at this point I don't have to be anywhere. I don't report to anybody. This is my job.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  Okay, talk your shit.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Oh, what?

• 45:10Speaker 02

  I hired them, these are my buddies, like I have, I have whoever I want on, nobody tells me who to have on my show. I don't have to, there is no place I have to be that I don't want to be, which is mostly great, but I'm trying to make sure that I'm forcing, not forcing, but creating opportunities to meet new people and be a little out of my comfort zone.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Yes, and I'm glad you mentioned that because I was recently on a lesbian cruise.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  This Alaska cruise kind of changed your life, no?

• 45:37Speaker 03

  I I've been screaming about it from the mountain tops. Tell me about it. I went to, well, I was I was hired. Uh, it's called Olivia Travels. And so at first, I've been dragging cruises for a whole year because I saw the poop cruise. And I said, you can't pay me. You can't get me to be on no damn cruise. I don't want to be stuck underwater. I can't swim. The food's gonna be bad. The people are gonna be in bad shirts. Yeah. And then Olivia Travels hit me up like, hey, here's here's this money. And then I looked at. Here's the number. Yeah, here's the number. I looked at my bank account. I said, yeah, no, no, no, I could do, I could do a cruise, no, for real. And it's all gays? Yeah, let's go. And so the thing is, is that you see the gay cruise for the men and then you see the lesbian cruise. And you're like, it's not the same. It's not the same. And which is good because I, you know, I'm not a party animal.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  I, you know, I don't do drugs. I'm sober. You know, I I'm good with a sweater on. I I love a nice little turtleneck. I don't need to have my tits out and oiled up, you know? So I don't want to be on an all gay men cruise. So I was like, lesbian, let's go. But the thing about this cruise is like, everybody's a lot older and they're not like teeny bobbers. They're not in their twenties. A lot of people are like forty and up, uh, sixty-five, seventy. And these are people who, listen, they pretty much paved the way for, you know, a gay like me. So I'm on a cruise, two thousand people plus, Alaska. I don't want to be, I'm not paying to be cold. Like, that's just, I don't understand white people when they're like, I'm gonna go to Mount Everest. Like, I don't get it.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Why are you paying money to be on ice? That's that's insane. Yeah. Just open your fridge. Go in your, go in your refrigerator. Yeah. Go in the basement. I don't know, but I just, I couldn't pay money to want to be around snow and, um, to be freezing because I have anemia. So I say yes. I go on and I'm with my girlfriend. So already I have my security blanket. But I go in and I'm like, I I have to be open. I can't be closed off just because these people are older than me or white and, um, just from places that I've never even heard of. It's okay. You gotta be, and then I got on there. It was so transformative because these women were telling me their stories. They're like, I'm a late in life lesbian. Married a man, I had, I had kids.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  And I didn't feel this free until I came out. And I came out when I was 55. And I wanted to die, like die in terms of like tears coming. I would just wanted to melt into the floor.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Because to be somebody else for 55 years, to have this life for somebody else. And now you're like, oh, my God, I feel like I'm twirling in a, in a field of just like dandelions. I'm like, oh, my God. And this is, this is why I'm like, I need to be more out and proud and existing because of people like this. And then I got on stage and I did my 45 minutes. I made my, you know, my little jokes. I was like Frankie and Grace is in the building, like, you know, the Golden Girls. Betty White, where you at? Like, you know, I was doing that. But for, for the whole thing, I was basically doing some of the stories that I do on my Black Barbie show. And then from my How to Start a Fire. And they were like, you are so authentically you. And even when there is moments where you're like, oh, that didn't go over well.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  You're, you're being yourself and that is so, so important to be seen. And to be doing your type of comedy, they need this. And so they, all these women came up to me who I thought I had nothing in common with, other than that we're like lesbians. Were just pouring out their love and explaining to me how you, I think that I'm so different. It's like, we're all trying to figure it out. We're not that much different. And it was, I, I want to go back on the cruise again, for sure. I, I thought I was gonna have a threesome or an orgy. That didn't happen, but you know, it was great.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Was there a man on the ship?

• 49:24Speaker 03

  Um, they working, they doing the work. They not, they're not, yeah. But there, like, there's trans, there's non-binary, they're all like, you don't have to necessarily be like gender. It's like what you, are you a lesbian?

• 49:36Speaker 02

  But there wouldn't really be room for me. That's not a space for me.

• 49:39Speaker 03

  I could, I could bring you, I could bring you. I honestly think you would take over and be, it would become a cult on the cruise. And I'm scared. Like, I think somebody like you should do this, but I'm scared. I'm definitely scared. I, you, I think you would have those ladies going insane.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Those are my girls.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, and you know, I just want to talk a little bit about ageism, you know? Everybody's so scared or their first thing, oh, you old bitch, you old. Like, it's like, I'm living. Yeah, I'm alive.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  I'm a living woman, first of all.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  I'm alive, you fucking idiot. You want me to be dead? You want me to be a dead, young, hot hoe? Is that what you want? And the documentaries say that the men like when the hoes are dead and young. But, I mean, I think that getting older is beautiful. It's beautiful. What, what?

• 50:27Speaker 02

  The men like when the hoes are dead and young is really something.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  I watch the documentary.

• 50:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're killing, they're killing these young women, yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I, I went there and I was like, it's all about aging with grace. You know, when everybody is getting under eye blefs and cutting their eyelids off and getting all this filler and shit, I, I do need to just lean into it. It's okay to age gracefully. It's okay to look like you're supposed to look.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  To me, ageism is only funny when you're not actually scared of aging. I'm, I think ageism is hilarious, but I'm playing. I'm so excited to age. I'm not getting anything done. I am very excited to age because I want to play those roles.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  That's one thing with these actors. I'm like, y'all are destroying your instrument.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Why are you doing this?

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Stop. You, you can't, you don't look like anybody who's ever lived before. I hate this. People look bad.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  You don't look like anyone has ever lived before. It's crazy to say.

• 51:21Speaker 02

  You look like a new species. Like, stop yanking your shit. And I'm not saying don't get anything done. It's not my business. I know it's different for women, whatever. Everybody do your thing, whatever. But I just mean in general, I wish everyone would stop yanking and plumping and teasing their shit until they looked completely inhuman. Men, as well. Male actors are fucking destroying their faces. And I'm like, for what? You don't look better. It's really driving me crazy. Now, there are people who have had some very tasteful work done. I'm pro.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  Very tasteful. I was like, okay, name the doctor.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 51:51Speaker 03

  But then there's other people that's like, name the doctor so they can go to jail. Okay, we must arrest them immediately.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Put the doctor in prison.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  And prison underneath.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  You know, but I, I will say that, you know, I've had my breasts done. And you can't tell because they're very demure right here. But, and there, I've had them done twice. And I, I am obsessed with the idea of, you know, you want to upgrade yourself? You want to do a little?

• 52:16Speaker 02

  What'd you have done to them? Bigger both times?

• 52:19Speaker 03

  Yes, yes. And I'm, I think, if I get another gig, I'm gonna get them done again. This is 12 years ago, you know what I mean?

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm pro boob job.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, 12 years of D cup. Now I'm like, what else can I do? You know, I might, I might go smaller, who knows? But I think, obviously, it's amazing to have the, the money or the access to, if you wanna do a little something, yeah, but I think it's the cameras. That 4K has fucked us up.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:50Speaker 03

  The things that we were, we weren't looking at before, now we are. I was never like, oh, my eyelids are drooping. Now, in that 4K camera of the clips that we gotta post to make sure that we have people in the seats. Now I'm like, why, why does it look like it's, do I have a lazy eye? Or like, did I have a stroke? Like, that's the stuff that I'm looking at now. And that wouldn't happen if we had like a pixelated camera where from afar it looks good. You can't even zoom in.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  I'm planning to look bad.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  I'm planning, when I am, when I am in my 50s, 60s beyond, I am planning to look bad. I'm planning to be 62 and people going, is he 95? I'm planning to have, I'm planning to be in the sun. I'm planning to laugh so much that my shit's all wrinkly and fucked up and weird. I am planning to, when I scrunch my forehead, it's already kinda happening. When I scrunch my forehead, I'm planning for the lines to go crazy like waves. I am planning to look straight up bad. I'm gonna bald in a crazy way. I'm already starting in the back.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  It's good to just be who you are supposed to be.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  I'm planning to look-

• 53:50Speaker 03

  The hoes are gonna come. And even if you're not about hoes, people are gonna want you. They're gonna want you.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  See, this is the thing. I'm like, you really, yeah, it's, it's an energy thing. Now, you're not gonna get everybody with energy, but you can get a lot of people with energy.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  Yes, you can.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  I'm planning to look bad.

• 54:05Speaker 03

  I mean, you got it, man, you got it. For me, I think it's a little different because, you know, I do wanna be a sex symbol. I do wanna get out there. I wanna be on Out 100 one day, you know? I just wanna be there like, yeah, I, I am that girl, you know, that lesbian woman that's out here who's older, who's, damn, you wanna take her out. And then you wanna, you wanna go to, take a nap with her, you know?

• 54:28Speaker 02

  You know who I'm thinking of?

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Who?

• 54:31Speaker 02

  Queen Latifah.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 54:34Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  She is so beautiful.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Dana, Dana.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  She's so beautiful.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  I, I, like.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  And classy.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  And classy. And I've ruined that for myself because I've been on podcasts and I'm told on my business.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  That we both ruined that, yeah.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  But, yes, but the mystery behind this one, and it's not even mystery, it's just like, you're gonna know what you're supposed to know.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Okay? And the people who know what they're supposed to know, those people are close to me.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Some random bitch on her toilet is not gonna hear my business. You know what I mean? Like, that, I, if I could go back.

• 55:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  I would do it like Queen. I would do it like, she is, she is everything that people should aspire to be.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  I do. She is everything to me. I saw a video of her recently, one of these annoying fucking paparazzi people. If you are paparazzi, we should be allowed, and I do not want this cut, to legally.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  You. I'm sorry. If you were, or if you're one of the people that.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Wait a minute!

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Waits everywhere for the autographs.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Legally.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 55:25Speaker 02

  This is a disgusting business. You are the scum of the earth. You go, you're bothering Queen Latifah?

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Outside of a Starbucks?

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  I should be allowed to, well, yes, you should be allowed to get hurt. And, and.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  Well, this, I, I also wanna put this out here for you. No shade. I, please don't cut this. But I've been out with my friend and you, you're literally, you're just trying to be at a concert, you're just trying to be out here, you with your friends, you trying to get some coffee, you trying to, you're just trying to exist with your people, and then there'll be that.

• 56:01Speaker 03

  I, I know, I, I know. I know your friend is crying. I, I know their, their mom just died, but I, can I, I just love your pod. Can I take a photo with you? Like, y'all got to read the room.

• 56:15Speaker 02

  Dude!

• 56:16Speaker 03

  I love them down. Now, I, I, I want y'all to, you know, follow me or whatever, but when I'm with you and I see the. I, I, I, I'm sorry.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  Not the, I'm sorry.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  Cause it's like, we see you, we see you in the peripheral.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  You know what I will say? The, here's the only thing, and I've been thinking about whether or not I would say this or not, cause I am really grateful.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Okay, no, we are, I'm, I'm a, thank you, you need fans, you need people who love, yeah, I want that.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  And I mean it, I really am so grateful for my life, this is the one thing I would say, if, if anybody listening to this, uh, gets the opportunity to do this for me.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  When I'm on a dance floor.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  Just leave me alone.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 02

  That's just dancing, that's it.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:54Speaker 02

  Coffee, dinner, lunch, bike ride, I've made peace with all of it, I get it, it's part of my job, I'm so lucky, I just really, really, really, for my like, mental health, genuinely, need people to leave me alone on the dance floor.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  On a dance floor.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  Like, in a very serious way.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  It's, it's getting to the point, I tried to go dancing the other night, and it was, it was 12 people lining up to do meet and greet and selfies, all I wanted was to let loose and dance with my friend, and I literally almost started sobbing, I was so sad, cause I'm like, it just makes me feel really inhuman, actually.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  No, I see you, I see you.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  But I don't complain about this.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  No, you don't.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  I really, really don't.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  You never say anything about, every time I've been with you, you've been like, you know, this is, this is, this is what it is, but in the back of my head, I'm like, hey, I know they saw that we were

• 57:35Speaker 02

  Deep.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  in the conversation, like, like, literally.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  If someone's crying, leave us be. Well, I, I, there have been a number of times that what, me or the person I'm with is crying, and someone's like, I know I shouldn't, and I'm like, okay, well then just don't this time. But most of the time, I'm happy, I'm happy, I wanna be a part of people's day, I wanna make people happy, it's like.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  You do make people happy.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  I love my job, but just dancing and crying, I think those are the moments I'd say, let it be.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Dancing and crying.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Also, doctor's office is a one I'm having to say now.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  I've had medical providers stop me, when I'm, I'm strep throat, sickest I've ever been a couple of months ago, leaning on the counter at urgent care, just like, please give me amoxicillin, please give me amoxicillin, and the girl working the desk goes, I know I shouldn't do this, but. I was like, girl, I am dying in your medical office.

• 58:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  I am literally can barely stand up. There are times, but what were we even talking about? Queen Latifah.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  Queen Latifah.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  Someone cornered her. Someone cornered her while she's getting in her car and they're asking about Tupac. And she goes, so classy, which would be so fucked up. She's so classy, she goes, you know, I miss my friend and we had, we had a lot of fun in the 90s. Sweet, I'm gonna cry. Sweet, I'm gonna cry. Sweet as can be, like, I literally love her, I want the world for her. Queen Latifah, if you can hear me. I just think she deserves everything and I want whatever she wants. I don't know that I want her to keep doing TV shows, I think I'd like her back in movies.

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Stop it.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  I just, I want her so much.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  Equalizer, bring it back, bring it back.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  Is it over?

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  You don't know?

• 58:59Speaker 02

  That's for the best.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  And no shade, and I, listen. Law and Order SVU, we gotta shut it down. I, like, we gotta shut it down. Mr. Hargitay, I love you, Olivia Benson, like, I'll, I'll get the tattoo.

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  But we don't have the Equalizer?

• 59:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:14Speaker 03

  We have a Law and Order SVU, literally, it's only about sex crimes.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  That, we're doing that for 100 more years?

• 59:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  We don't wanna see Queen Latifah's stunt double do a backflip back into Queen Latifah having perfect hair? You don't wanna see that? Now, that's, that's fucked up.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  That's homophobic.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  I think Hollywood, the least that Hollywood could do for us, they've taken so much from us.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  They have.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  The least they can do is, once a year, holiday film with Queen Latifah and LL Cool J.

• 59:42Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 59:43Speaker 02

  $200 million budget.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:45Speaker 02

  If the, whatever they need.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  Can they do it?

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Once a year. Doesn't, by the way, it doesn't have to be Christmas every time. St. Patrick's Day, 4th of July.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  Queen Latifah makes, they make, she makes people so happy. I've heard so many people have, like, incredible, um, uh, experiences with her. And the fact that she protects her family and her personal business, and, but she still values her work. Where is that at?

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  I'm gonna cry.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Where is that? No, she is. Like, she had an interview with Angie Martinez. And watching her in the whole interview, I was like, this is a masterclass of, one, letting an interviewer be an interviewer and not being defensive. But also just being genuine in like what you want and need as an artist. You can do that without being an asshole or being, you know, violent to the people who pay your bills.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Oh, I love her.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  Yes. Can you get her on here?

• 1:00:44Speaker 02

  I would never. I would never subject her to this. I wouldn't let her come on here.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  She has no business doing this.

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  She deserves the world. She should never have to step into this den of, this den of gay bullshit nonsense. I barely even think you should have to do it. I mean, Queen Latifah, you are never allowed in this studio. I would do anything. If I saw Queen Latifah walking towards a puddle and it was too big for her to walk around, I'm laying down on the puddle.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  You understand? This woman means so much to me.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  She can't come in this so true studio.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  Listen, there is not a bad Living Single episode, ever, ever. Dana, Dana, we need, I want more people like that. I need more people out here in the streets. Just, just, like, you could tell, she's just, she smells good.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  She takes care of everybody.

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  She was hanging out with, she's friends with Meg Thee Stallion, so she know, you know she know how to have fun.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  Okay?

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  And that's, that's what I want for myself. Like, she is existing in LGBTQ without being like, I'm gay, I'm gay, you know, I'm gay, like, I'm a lesbian, I'm a, like, everything's gay, go ahead, go ahead. Like, she's just being herself and I'm like, that's what, that is what it's about.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  That, you know, but I, you know, for Pride, I do want to be on Out 100. Like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  Post Sydney on Out 100. Sydney, what's so true to you?

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  So true to me. It looks so true to me.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  So true to me, you, you don't have to have sex all the time in a relationship. You don't.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  I know, but you're big on this right now.

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  I'm big on it because I feel like a lot of people are putting a lot of weight on that. They're like, oh, if this sex is not good, if we're not doing it enough. It's like, why aren't you focused on the actual experiences you're having outside of the bedroom?

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:30Speaker 03

  That's like, at the end of the day, what if I can't have sex? What if my vagina falls out or closes up or all my holes are done? Like, what if I lose my legs? What if I lose my ass? Like, what if, what if I'm just a nugget?

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  And you can't do anything to me?

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  Would you leave me? Oh, I can't, I can't put my stuff in you. I can't finger you. No, like, what about me?

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  As just a person, wouldn't you want to spend that time with me and be in a relationship? We could kiss.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  I could put your finger in my mouth.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  But we don't have to have sex.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  I'll put your finger in my mouth.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 02

  Hey, I love hanging out with you and we don't have sex at all.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  So I understand the connection.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  Sometimes I do feel like I'm dating you.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  That's really beautiful.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, because when we go, we fight over the bill and then you like run around and you sneak and you do it. And then I catch you and then I sneak and you're like, no, you can't do that. And then I, you know, and I'm like, well, he should pay. But like, you know, I just want to let you know that.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  I have pretty Republican views on men in the bill, yeah. I get pretty Republican about the men in the bill. It's, it's not, it's not, it's not cute, but so many people benefit from it in my life. They're not pushing back at all.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get real conservative about being a man and paying the bill.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  And, and somebody with, with legs like that, well, leg like those, you should.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  Sydney walked in the studio today and immediately started rubbing on my legs.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  I know, I've never seen, like, they are, oof.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  These guys right here?

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  They're juicy.

• 1:03:51Speaker 02

  These are special to me.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  I like these boys.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Solid.

• 1:03:54Speaker 02

  They're kind of dripping in sweat right now. Studio's a little humid, but.

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  It is a little humid, but I, again, so true. You don't have to have sex all the time in a relationship.

• 1:04:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I support it.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  It should be maybe 30% of your relationship.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  It should not, you said okay?

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  I said okay. I just, the third, that was.

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  30%.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  The number surprised me. 30%. I don't know what number, but the thing is, I don't know what number I think. I just thought he was like, whoa, to hear a number two, it's kind of okay, yeah.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  People think that if they stop having sex, the relationship is over, and that is just not true.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Sometimes, I, I'm not thinking of it. Some people just don't want to have it, but I still want to be with you. I still want to hold hands. I still want to do this life with you.

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  But then you're like, well, we're just friends. You're just like, that's not true.

• 1:04:34Speaker 02

  I think one of the biggest, uh, relationship, like, mixes that can, the hardest thing. There's so many different types, but I think one of the biggest, hardest ones is the high-sex drive, low-sex drive relationship.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  I think this is the hardest thing to overcome.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  And I, yeah, I, it's tough. When someone doesn't want to have sex, I, I, yeah.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  I want to say this one, camera, my girlfriend is getting it, okay? I don't want y'all to think that I'm depriving this woman of what I have to, I know, I know.

• 1:05:00Speaker 02

  I was wondering.

• 1:05:01Speaker 03

  Cause she is gonna go out there and be like, wait, do she, do they know you be throwing it back? I do, I do, I, I'm saying all this, but I'm, I'm also, you know, in the bedroom is a little different. But I'm just saying that it should be an option.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, and you guys have a beautiful relationship.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  We do.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  You know, I've, I envy what you guys have. You guys have a very beautiful connection.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  We're looking for a third.

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  I know, I know, I know, but jokes aside, I need to find my own thing. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm working on it.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  You got it.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  I'm working on it.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  He's not gonna be in New York. How about that?

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  You think?

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  That's really bad news.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  It's okay.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  I moved here kind of thinking that he might only be in New York.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  That's a fucked up reason to be in New York.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  No, I moved here to date. Isn't that crazy? People say it's horrible, but I love it. And then I immediately met my ex, who I love to death. I, New York dating has been very good to me.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  Hey, I just want to let you know, there's people who actually, you know, zip code, they been here. They, they, they born on, you know, New York City soil, and you think your ass just gonna come in, gentrify and get love? Hey, it's not happening. You can't do that.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  My two big plans are to gentrify and find love.

• 1:06:05Speaker 02

  I'm planning on taking over in every sense of the word, yeah. You know me, that's what I'm after. That's what I'm after. You wanna play a game?

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  Okay, Sid, I'm gonna ask you, I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if they're true or false. And if you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  You ready?

• 1:06:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  All right, scorpions are arachnids.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  True. The first airplane flight lasted two minutes.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  False, 12 seconds. The capital of South Dakota is Bismarck.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  False, Pierre. Neptune has 16 moons.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  True. Clark University's mascot is Jonas the Cougar.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  I went to Clark University, but I wasn't looking at no damn mascot. I was trying to survive.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  It's true. Pairs originated in Central America.

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:06:58Speaker 02

  False, China. Moon Knight is a Marvel Comics character.

• 1:07:04Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  True. Condors have the largest wingspan of all flying birds.

• 1:07:09Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  False, it's albatross. Microwaves have longer wavelengths than radio waves.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  Say that again?

• 1:07:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, microwaves have longer wavelengths than radio waves.

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:07:20Speaker 02

  False. The New York Liberty played their first season in 2002.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  False, 1997.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Hot air balloons are older than cars.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  True. The skull is the strongest bone in the human body.

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  False, it's the femur. Every square is also a rectangle.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  I should know this, I should know this because this was, this was on the pod. True.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  The Vietnam War ended in 1975.

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  I'm not answering that.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  I'm not, no. Next, next question.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  The Soho Grand Hotel.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  One of the realest answers I've ever seen on this show. The Soho Grand Hotel has seventeen floors.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  It's true. How'd she do, Chance? Nine. Oh, damn.

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  Give me that one.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  You know what, the Vietnam War, let's give it to her. Yeah! Oh shit, I'm dead. Sid, oh my gosh. I'm not answering that. No.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  Cut this up however you, I know I was like, you know I have ADHD, so I'm all over the place and I don't know what I'm gonna do.

• 1:08:37Speaker 02

  You did great.

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 1:08:38Speaker 02

  Sid, tell the people where they can find you, how they can support you.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  I thought we were done.

• 1:08:41Speaker 02

  No, baby. No, they gotta know where they can find you.

• 1:08:45Speaker 03

  Oh my god, you can find me on Instagram, just SidBW, J U S T S Y D B W. W. Don't go over on TikTok. Nobody cares about that. I have a podcast called Mess with Marie Fawston. Please subscribe to that. And I will be in Edinburgh in August from the 5th to the 16th. I'll be doing my show, My Black Barbie Story. Please come through if you're in Scotland, because I need y'all in the seats.

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Love you.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  Love you more.

• 1:09:13Speaker 00

  Ugh, I hate Mondays.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?

• 1:09:16Speaker 00

  Uh, Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.

• 1:09:22Speaker 06

  Hey, let's get back to work, please.

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.

• 1:09:28Speaker 06

  Taylor Hanson? Nice.

• 1:09:30Speaker 01

  Try one.

• 1:09:31Speaker 06

  Mmm.

• 1:09:35Speaker 07

  King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.