Sureni Weerasekera is Dancing

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Sureni Weerasekera! Sureni and Caleb talk growing up in San Diego, parenting styles, Sri Lankan community hangouts, love, and so much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Sureni! @sureni Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Try Domino's Parmesan Stuffed Crust Pizza today at https://dominos.com Visit Sunglass Hut and find your perfect pair for Summer. Sunglass Hut – Own Your Moment. https://www.sunglasshut.com/us Visit https://Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE. Find exactly what you’re booking for at Booking.com. Book today on the site or in the app. To get involved, text UPDATE to 22422 or visit https://ImForPP.org So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Wave.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  I had an octopus taco.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, we should go sometime.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  Delicious. Where at?

• 0:08Speaker 01

  You eat octopus?

• 0:09Speaker 00

  I eat everything.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 0:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Nice. Yeah, apparently, these days.

• 0:13Speaker 00

  Oh. Gobble, gobble!

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Today's episode is sponsored by Domino's. It's rainy.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  Hey, Kayla!

• 0:26Speaker 01

  The hell's going on, brother?

• 0:26Speaker 00

  What the hell's up, dude?

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Tell me what's up with you now.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  Things, oh god, got into my head.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, now, what's up with you?

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Um, I don't know, I feel good.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  Do you?

• 0:34Speaker 00

  I went to public service on Sunday, that is one of my favorite parties of all time. It's outside in the park.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  And that park hang will just change my life. Like, you know, this is the first one of the season.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:44Speaker 00

  Every month, it's a Herbert Von King. I did a little bit of mushrooms, like a tasteful amount.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:48Speaker 00

  My stomach's still a little messed up. I feel good.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Mushrooms mess your stomach up?

• 0:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Never done them? No, I'm not interested.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  Okay, totally don't. I would never pressure you.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  I don't want to change my situation. Yeah, everyone thinks I should try them. Do you have some with you?

• 1:01Speaker 00

  No, I don't. Would you do it? Would you do it?

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Honestly, maybe. Honestly, for the bit, maybe I would. I don't think I'm interested. Mushrooms... What do they even do for you? They make you what?

• 1:11Speaker 00

  I think they kind of... You're a little up. You're a little... It's like a...

• 1:14Speaker 01

  I'm up.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  You're like, I do bad all by myself.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  I'm up.

• 1:21Speaker 00

  You're up, okay.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  One thing about me, I'm up.

• 1:23Speaker 00

  Oh, they're up. I like that you don't feel horrible the next day, really.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Like, drinking and something like that.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  You just told me your tummy hurts.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  And just a tummy's like a... Tummy's fine, you know? I'm lactose free and I do a little dairy and sometimes, you know?

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  But it's like, you know, pros and cons.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, what's up with you?

• 1:39Speaker 01

  What's going on with me? I didn't go to that party, unfortunately.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  That's okay.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  Um, what else is going on with me? I'm... Got up, went on a long walk this morning.

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Had a fresh squeezed orange juice.

• 1:50Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Beautiful.

• 1:51Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Beautiful. Went on a bike ride.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, this morning?

• 1:55Speaker 01

  This morning, yeah.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  What time did you get up?

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I got up at like 7.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  I'm trying to do better about mornings. We were talking about this, though.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  We did.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  This is an unlikable thing to say, and I'm gonna say it anyway.

• 2:05Speaker 00

  Say it.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  When you get up early in the morning and you're a guy like me, there's too many hours in the day. There's too many hours in the day!

• 2:12Speaker 00

  That's such a... Okay, that's very like my lobster's too buttery, pillows too cold kind of issue.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  Some people are like, there's not enough time, but you're complaining about that.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Ungrateful.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  And now you're acting like TikTok comments.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  This fucking asshole. He doesn't know that immigrant workers are working overtime.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Privilege just swiped me and has too many hours. Yeah, I said it was unlikable, okay?

• 2:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's injuring of you there. No, but that's good. You also, I like getting up early because then I do feel better than other people.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm way better.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? I do feel like, oh, yeah, like I like got my smoothie in, I worked out, I went on my little walk. I said hi to the neighbors, you know?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  I see the other morning people and I go, we're all better than the people sleeping inside right now.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're better than them.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  And you are.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  And same thing when I stay out late, I go, everyone in bed's a loser. Ew, like grow up.

• 2:57Speaker 00

  I'm the coolest person in America right now.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like the coolest, most out guy there is.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm like the party never stops because I'm here and I'm going.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  It's nice to have you. I wonder if you want to apologize. You recently made some pretty insensitive jokes about ICE and people of color.

• 3:10Speaker 00

  I cannot believe you are weaponizing that right now. You fuck, you fuck, cut the cameras up now. I thought it can't really be your own people. Wow, you're, wow, okay, yeah, yeah. I can read the whole exchange if you want.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  I was just checking in.

• 3:26Speaker 00

  I went and just, yeah, because I made a stupid TikTok. I can't believe you're making me do this. Where I was like, I'm trying to promote a show. I was like, are there any gay people in Minneapolis? Like, I know there aren't people of color here, but like, I know that there are, you know, white gay people come out or whatever. And someone was like, I cannot believe that, you know, you would say that it's so insensitive because like, you know, ICE is so heavy in Minneapolis right now, immigrants are in hiding. And I was like, it's not that deep. Like, y'all have the same stereotype as Denver, which is a lot of white gay people who are like the good whites. You know what I mean? They're the crunchy hiking whites that like protest and organize, you know?

• 4:00Speaker 01

  They're the whites with the whistles, yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 00

  And it's like, frankly, many people came to you after the show. They were like, I've never seen this many people of color in one room in Minneapolis. So, you know? And also like, obviously, a lot of queer spaces lean white because there's less barriers to entry to queerness for white people than, you know? Okay, now it's getting serious now.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  No, I liked it. I locked in. Did you see the way I locked in?

• 4:21Speaker 00

  Caleb was like, I'm listening, I'm learning.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  I went from joking to very, very serious. Yeah, people are way too, doing too much. People are way too intense right now.

• 4:29Speaker 00

  I just like, you know, like, if you look at my page, you know my politics are as left as they come. Like, I read Octavia Butler. I'm like, let's get our seeds and let's grab our go-bads, bitch. Like, we gotta lock in, the revolution's now, you know? I'm not the one, you know? And I matched his energy and then he sat down and shut up. And then he was like, I might try to come to the show tonight. I was like, man. And I was like, I'll try to get you on the guest list. Like, I was like, you know.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  It's too much. That's the thing is no one's looking at your credentials and no one cares. Everyone's just trying to like, everyone is just like, uh, not everyone. So many of us are just like walking around like spewing our fucking like anxieties on to each other. And it's really tiresome.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  I think the good part is like, everyone wants to be good. Like, that is the goal, right? Everyone wants to be a good person. That is the motivation. Like, that is pure and good. But then it's just like, well, what, what's the actual impact of what you're doing, though?

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  You know?

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 00

  Like, yeah.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  What's going on with you?

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Caleb's my hype man, yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  I am your hype man. I'll hype you up through anything. You know that.

• 5:25Speaker 00

  I'll do anything for you.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  I have been in your corner and I'll stay there.

• 5:28Speaker 00

  I feel that, actually.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  I'm with you.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  I start crying.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I think it's a really serious episode.

• 5:34Speaker 00

  I feel that. I feel love from you.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  You have love for me.

• 5:37Speaker 00

  I hope you've, do you feel love for me? Oh, okay. We could work on that.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do. No, I do. I'm just kidding. I do. I do. I do. I swear I do.

• 5:45Speaker 00

  Okay, cool.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  I thought about doing a bit and then I took it back.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  Take, no, do it.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Okay, um, ask me if I feel love from you?

• 5:53Speaker 00

  Hey Caleb, do you, uh, do you feel love from me?

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Psh, no.

• 5:58Speaker 00

  Well, how do we change that?

• 5:59Speaker 01

  You know what? Honestly, we should be texting more.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Me and you should be texting more. Or talking on the phone.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  I could start with unblocking you. Okay.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  That would be nice, because when I text you, it says not delivered. Yeah, and that's really fucked up.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  We can text more.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 6:13Speaker 00

  Well, okay, I'll call you out. I, I've invited you out dancing a couple of times and you just, um...

• 6:17Speaker 01

  You have not invited me out to dance a couple of times.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Yes, I have. You, you, you put on your story that you wanted to know where like some places to go dance are. And I sent you.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  You told me one, one night, one time, that you and someone else were going dancing somewhere. And that I could join if I wanted to. That's one technical invitation to dance.

• 6:33Speaker 00

  There was also that second party that me and Carly went to.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  What party?

• 6:36Speaker 00

  The holy party.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  What party?

• 6:37Speaker 00

  The holy party.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  Holy party?

• 6:39Speaker 00

  Holy, like, it's like, uh...

• 6:43Speaker 01

  What the hell is this? Like, we're the goddamn clergy?

• 6:46Speaker 00

  It's, you know, I really do, I, it's, I should know, it's like a Hindu festival of colors. I don't, I grew up Buddhist, so I don't really know, but it's a beautiful festival.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Wait, this party is the one I was just being flippant about?

• 6:58Speaker 00

  That was the second one, I think.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Okay, which one is the Hindu one? I don't want to be flippant about that one.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  The holy one.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Okay, cool, that sounds awesome. H O L I. Oh, I thought we were talking to H O L Y.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  No, I know. I could tell. Midwest was showing, yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  That's okay.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  So it's a festival of what, colors?

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Of colors, it's festival light, it's, there's like a mythology of like good versus evil, and it's like something about good one. I don't know.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Who's winning?

• 7:20Speaker 00

  Good.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Good?

• 7:22Speaker 00

  Good.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Oh, I love when good wins.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  I would go to that. Yeah, some, I think that you might, you and I might have different dancing vibes. I feel like you like, like a, a clubby, like EDM-y.

• 7:30Speaker 00

  You don't even know me.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  That's the thing you invited me to.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  No, I like house parties, or, or house, uh, house music.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Okay, the first thing you invited me to was kind of EDM looking.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  I do like a little ones, ones from time to time, but I like house music, I think, more, is what I'm realizing. Public service, that day party that's like free outdoors and everything, I love, it's all house music, it's really fun.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. For me, I can't be on a dance floor if they're not gonna play at least one thing I can sing along to. If Mariah Carey's not in the mix, if Lauryn Hill's not in the mix, if I'm not, if you're not gonna put in some stuff I know.

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Have you ever done karaoke?

• 7:58Speaker 01

  I love karaoke. That's a different thing.

• 8:01Speaker 00

  You'd love that.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Karaoke's a different thing, that's all about singing.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  No, but this is the thing, there's some DJs that will play like singable songs as well, like, like they'll remix it and stuff, and like, I believe in that.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  You came to my birthday party?

• 8:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was so fun.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.

• 8:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, you want to sing.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  I wanted, I want to dance, but I want it to be something I've heard before.

• 8:16Speaker 00

  Okay, I like that.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  I don't want 15 layers of like, you're mixing the shit up.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Relax on it.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  Okay, I, um, I'll curate a New York experience for you.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Would you really?

• 8:26Speaker 00

  Let me make some calls.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  We should throw a dance party.

• 8:28Speaker 00

  I would love that.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  We would throw an incredible dance party.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  You think so?

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:31Speaker 00

  I think we could.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  We could, we could have so much fun with it.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  I'm trying to get better at the art of gathering.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  I know, me too.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  You're so good at it, don't piss me off.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  No, I need to do more, though, I need to do more.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  What do you think you need to do, what are you not doing?

• 8:42Speaker 01

  I just saw an Instagram reel of someone being like, "Oh, my friend had like a cobbler bake off." Like a cob, a cobbler.

• 8:49Speaker 00

  Well, I don't want to do that.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  I want to do stuff like that.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  That's something that's happening in Bushwick, I don't need to be there.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  I want to do some stuff like that.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  Okay, cobbler, but, oh, good, but, so, food-based activities? I do love food, we can talk about that.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 8:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh my god, yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  What can you cook well?

• 9:02Speaker 00

  Lob.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know Lob.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  I love Lob.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 9:05Speaker 00

  I love a like a fresh tangy, you know, minty, herbaceous, basil something, fish sauce, like, got a little stank on it, you know?

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Would you make that for me sometime?

• 9:17Speaker 00

  I would.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Really?

• 9:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  We could have a potluck.

• 9:20Speaker 00

  I would love to do a potluck. I, you know, it's really cool. And part of this is like really dope Sri Lankan community in New York, which is like, it's crazy that there's enough to have a little community here. And we do potlucks together. We make Sri Lankan food. It's really sweet.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Now.

• 9:29Speaker 00

  You're not invited, but I just wanted to.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Just checking.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  So I have an honorary guest. It's Caleb.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Is there like a token white situation where I could sneak in? Oh, yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, my God, the food is so good. I make a, I make a good chicken curry. And that's the, the hard, that's, if you're making the chicken curry for like the potluck at a Sri Lankan, that's a big deal, like.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 00

  And I was, I was really nervous for some and it, and it went well.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  And they trust you with it.

• 9:53Speaker 00

  They trust me with it now.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  My dream is to be the only white person in a room.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  I really get that.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  As often as possible.

• 9:58Speaker 00

  I really get that.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  It feels special.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Well, it feels special.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  If I'm at like a black ass event and I'm the only brown girl, I'm like.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 10:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Is that happening to you often?

• 10:09Speaker 00

  I'm a brown boy with motion.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  Please.

• 10:15Speaker 00

  It can happen from time to time and I'm always grateful. And I'm like, thanks so much for letting me be here, like blah, blah, blah. Like, I love your culture, but like not in an exoticizing way.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, you know what? Hell, yeah. I had mostly, I had mostly non-white students when I worked in Chicago, when I worked with kids. And the things they came up with to say to and about me were so devastating. These are children.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  These are children. They're calling me Pillsbury Doughboy. They're calling me, I mean, Rosie O'Donnell's a famous one I've talked about. They're call, they're, they're coming up with fat white people I don't even know about.

• 10:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  They're going home and doing their research. It's extremely impressive.

• 10:50Speaker 00

  They're like, hey, Mr. Ludman.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Extreme. And as a comedian, I'm like, this is incredible.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  Say that again one more time.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  And as the person in charge, I'm like, y'all need to knock it off.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Cause we got stuff to do.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  It sucks when like, kids are so funny.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  They're so funny and they're so mean.

• 11:02Speaker 00

  Mean.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  And I really love it.

• 11:04Speaker 00

  And they know that there's no consequences because they're not 18 yet.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. 18, you can punch them. 18, you can punch.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  And in my school district, growing up, they could still hit. They could hit the kids.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  They could hit the kids.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  But not, not in progressive city school districts.

• 11:16Speaker 00

  Have you done it?

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Did I hit kids?

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, you probably hit a good.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  I have never hit a kid.

• 11:20Speaker 00

  I could see you get a little bit of a stop me snap.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  I have never hit a kid. Uh, my dad spanked me and he was a horrible parent.

• 11:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  And my mom mostly didn't and she was the good parent.

• 11:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, cuz I think that you, I don't know, I, I grew up getting hit by both, mostly my dad. But then I'm like, I don't know, sometimes I'm like, I'd like to think that you can raise a good kid without hitting. I wanna believe that so bad.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  For sure you can.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  And I've seen families that seem well adjusted and they, yeah.

• 11:46Speaker 01

  And they're not hitting.

• 11:47Speaker 00

  I don't know though, but I, I, I get what you're getting at where it's like, sometimes you could tell when some kid's not being disciplined at all in any capacity. And I'm like, someone's gotta hit this kid.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  It's the impulse, right? Because it's the most, but that's the thing is we have to be better than that. The problem with hitting for me that we, my aunt and I have actually talked about this with my grandma quite a bit cuz my grandma was big on hitting. Is, and still is like, those kids need their ass beat. And we're like, basically spanking is a cause and effect idea. That the idea is if you do bad things, you're gonna get hit.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  And so you're asking the child to understand cause and effect.

• 12:14Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  And if they're old enough to understand cause and effect, they could understand any cause and effect.

• 12:19Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Which means they would understand taking away a privilege or.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Right.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Like, so then hitting is just your own, like.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  It's a quick one.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Desire to be violent because you're upset.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Mm.

• 12:28Speaker 01

  And so then it's like, well, that's really fucking insane.

• 12:30Speaker 00

  Well, did you ever get hit with this one, pun not intended, where it's like, my parents would be like, well, we didn't hit you as much as our parents hit us.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:36Speaker 00

  And I'm like, well, how about no one gets hit, you know?

• 12:38Speaker 01

  How about zero hitting?

• 12:39Speaker 00

  How about zero hitting? How about let's just stop the cycle, you know?

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  My dad often.

• 12:44Speaker 00

  But in their mind, they're like, we're being such good parents right now, like.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  We, we use restraint.

• 12:47Speaker 00

  I'm doing open hand instead of closed fist, you know what I mean?

• 12:50Speaker 01

  My dad and I one time had a talk when I was like, maybe 18 or 19 years old, where we started to have like our adult talks.

• 12:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Where I was like, you hit me kind of a lot over like almost nothing.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  And he was like, I never hit you with any weapon. He's like, I never, he's like, I never hit you with a spoon or a belt. I always use my hand. And I was like.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  So that's not impressive or anything to say at all? And he was like, my dad would hit me with anything within reach. And I was like, right, so you were abused?

• 13:13Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  That has nothing to do with my situation.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Literally, yes.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  That's so true. I was in, the gaslighting is a little bit crazy. It was like a light, like, well, we didn't. Hit you up, you know what I mean?

• 13:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 00

  I went to couples there, not couples therapy, oop.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Uh oh.

• 13:26Speaker 00

  I went to therapy with my mom.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Uh oh.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  Couple, a couple of us.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  Something to look into.

• 13:30Speaker 00

  And it was honestly really cool and good, but I remember I was telling the therapist, like, yeah, like, I'mma like, used to hit me. And she's like, no, I didn't. And I was like, what? I was gagged.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 13:39Speaker 00

  And I was like, what about with the coat hanger? And she's like, oh, yeah, I did do that. I don't like jog or memory it. And I was like, what about when you did with chopsticks or spatulas?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  She's like, yeah.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  Or shoes. And she's like, now she's going down memory lane.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's like, oh, that was a good one.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  She was like, wow, that was fun. I remember those sandals. Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 00

  Let me see if I can find them.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  That's so fucking funny.

• 13:58Speaker 00

  I felt insane, you know?

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Her being, her being like, did I hit you? Tell me about it.

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Reliving the glory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How, how, how hard did I hit you?

• 14:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, are we recording this? Can you send me that back?

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's her greatest hits.

• 14:10Speaker 00

  I know, literally.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  No pun intended.

• 14:11Speaker 00

  Good, okay.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  Look at us.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Uh, what else is going on with you? How's your love life?

• 14:16Speaker 00

  I relapsed on dick, uh.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 14:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  What? Do I know him?

• 14:23Speaker 00

  No.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  Them? All, all of them?

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Them?

• 14:27Speaker 00

  I don't know. I don't know, like.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  You're getting they, them dick?

• 14:30Speaker 00

  I, I'm good, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just experimenting. Like, it's weird to revisit men as like, later in life.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:36Speaker 00

  Cause I've been such a lesbian for so many years. Like, I've always been pan and buy or whatever, but like, it's weird, cause like, I'm at a different place in my gender. Like, I feel really confident in my like masculinity and femininity. Like, I feel confident in my like, gender fluidity. Like, I feel really at a much different place. And one thing I will say about men, they are really not healed.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  They are.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  It's bad.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  The emotional depth is just not there compared to like, I sometimes feel like, maybe I'll never fall in love with a man. Like, I don't think I could ever do that again.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  You know, like I did in the past, but I don't know.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, why is that? Men are what? They're not deep enough?

• 15:11Speaker 00

  They're just not as deep, but not you, Caleb.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I'm different.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  I don't take it personally when people talk about men.

• 15:16Speaker 00

  No, I know. It's just like, I don't know, I feel a little bit like, I, I start to notice it, cause you hear straight girls talk about it all the time, where it's like, oh, I'm always doing therapy for this man. It's like, I get it now.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  Cause I've been so out the game, and like, coming back, I'm like, whoa. But then that's why it's like low stakes too.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 00

  I hate everything we're talking about right now.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  No, I'm loving it. I'm loving it. I'm really locked in.

• 15:35Speaker 00

  I don't know, it's just also someone was telling me that like a lesbian relapsing on dick is like a recession indicator. That's something I've been thinking about.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  I've, look, I've been, for the past two years, I've had multiple gay men start experimenting with pussy, lesbians start experimenting with dick. Really, what is going on when one of your staunchest lesbians, a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago, one of my staunchest lesbians, I will name them off camera, told me that she was fucking a guy. And it was not even like a cool guy.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  I know! I know!

• 16:05Speaker 00

  That's so crazy.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Fucking a guy, not even like a successful, beautiful, brilliant, like a fucking guy with his mattress on the floor, like broke guy dick.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  Right.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  And I was like, what?

• 16:15Speaker 00

  But lowkey broke guy dick is the best dick because you have nothing else going, right?

• 16:18Speaker 01

  You expect a lesbian to be above that.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  No, I know, but this is, this is my theory, is like, okay, the lesbian community is so small to begin with, right? And the idea of hooking up within the lesbian community sometimes can be so overwhelming. The idea of like hooking up with a dude from like, let's say even the straight community, it's really like, I'm never gonna see you again, it does not matter, it's so low stakes, like I actually don't give a fuck about you, like, it's just like you can keep it really sexual and get your needs met and not have it be that deep, because it's not that deep.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:46Speaker 00

  You know?

• 16:46Speaker 01

  Gay guys are doing that and then also hanging out.

• 16:48Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying. Oh, that's so sad. I feel bad for gay men all the time.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Is that, why?

• 16:52Speaker 00

  Why?

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Why do you feel bad for us?

• 16:56Speaker 01

  I thought, I think we're having fun.

• 16:57Speaker 00

  I mean, like, the loneliness epidemic among gay men.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  Well, it's a loneliness epidemic among men.

• 17:02Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Is one thing.

• 17:04Speaker 00

  But then I think when, I don't know, I feel like I just see like a lot of, tell me if I'm wrong, but I feel like gay men are not getting like married as much, they're not like having like, because it's just when masculinity meets like that, it's like shit's not happening, you know what I mean?

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  Like, both of you guys are having a tough time being vulnerable, you know? Versus obviously lesbians have the opposite issue, which is that we get vulnerable so fast, we're crying on the first date. Like, we, but then, I don't know, there's also a high divorce rate among lesbians, but people like to be like, oh, lesbians, it's like the divorce rate is because we don't settle for less, we're not trying to settle for shit that we're not happy about, chances keep.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  I love, also I love your conception of two gay men being like, it's too much masculinity. It's like, how many gay men have you hung out with?

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Let me tell you, too much masculinity is not the problem that's being run into.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  No, what do you think the problem is, okay, what?

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Man, I mean, it's men, it's being socialized as a man.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying, it's that part of it.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  It's so much.

• 18:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  And also, it's, um, it's, it's a problem that our broader culture has. Like, I don't think women are... I think that women are suffering the same thing that gay men are suffering in a different way. Across sexuality spectrums. I think we're all suffering under the same thing, which is like this, like, intense crippling of choice. There's this knowledge that there is always someone else not far away.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  There are thousands of people in your phone and you just treat them like this.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, I agree.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  And that's really fucking intense. Like, the... You used to like meet one person who was good enough in your town.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:34Speaker 01

  And you'd be like, "I fucking kinda like hanging out with that guy, let's just lock it in."

• 18:38Speaker 00

  And I guess we'll like figure out whatever comes up.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  And you'd be married for 60 years.

• 18:41Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  And then you'd die within like a week of each other.

• 18:43Speaker 00

  That is so real.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  And now you can be in a happy, loving relationship with someone who's really great and has maybe like one or two minor flaws. And somewhere, not for everybody, but I think for a lot of us, somewhere in the back of your head, you're like, "There's 20 guys that would fuck me tonight." You know? It's just right in my phone, just waiting. Honestly, begging.

• 18:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  For all of us. I'm not saying for me.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Way to brag.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Not for me, but... Look, I have it however I have it, but for all of us.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  Men are triple texting you.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  No, don't worry about that. I'm actually, I have started, uh, triple texting this one guy.

• 19:12Speaker 00

  Ooh, down bad.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Really? And I'm like, "What am I doing?"

• 19:15Speaker 00

  I like to see you vulnerable right now, thank you.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  I've been vulnerable recently. You know what? You would be proud of me. I'm not gonna go into too much details on here, but I have been pretty vulnerable in my dating life recently.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  How does that manifest?

• 19:25Speaker 01

  I'm saying my feelings out loud.

• 19:27Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  I'm, my real feelings as well.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 19:33Speaker 00

  Not the one you wrote in the bathroom at the date?

• 19:35Speaker 01

  I'm telling my, I'm telling guys my real feelings.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  I'm not playing it cool, I'm not playing games. I've been, I've been off games in a big way.

• 19:43Speaker 00

  Why?

• 19:43Speaker 01

  I used to love games.

• 19:44Speaker 00

  What's the shift? What's happened?

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Well, I went through a breakup with, honestly, it's very similar to your breakup. I went through a breakup last year with somebody that I love deeply, uh, still, is a very good friend of mine. I love him so much. I think he's a wonderful person. He did nothing wrong. I don't think I did anything wrong. We could check in with him. I do wanna- Have him on the podcast someday.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  Oh, that'll be a fun episode.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  We both think it'll be really funny, but yeah, I love him so much and I think he's wonderful and I, we are very good friends. I saw him like last week, um, but I think going through that experience really like, uh, opened me up to being like, okay, I think I, I want to be more open in my situations. Do you know what I mean?

• 20:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Like doing, doing that with him felt like I'd been pretty guarded before that relationship. And then I was like, actually, I think I'm, I think I want to like really try to be more open and vulnerable, the way that we were.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  I mean, I think that's such a testament to like, you have to heal through relationships.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 20:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think you can't like, I think a lot of this concept of like, you can be told how to drive a car conceptually, but you have to drive a car to know actually how to drive a car, right? And I think like you did that through this relationship, which is that you were able to have a safe enough space to be able to open up and feel comfortable enough to bring that to the next relationship. Like, that's so beautiful.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then there's this other thing where I'm like, so sometimes when, when I date somebody and it ends amicably, or I've seen someone or we hooked up for a little bit and we both, and we're just, it doesn't work out. Then when they start fucking other people, no matter what, I'm like, what is that? Do you know what I mean? Like there was a guy two years ago that, two, maybe I guess maybe three years ago now, that I really liked, we had a good time. And then I was like, oh, I don't think I'm, I don't think this is, uh, more than what it was.

• 21:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  I think the, the hooking up for a couple of months is what this was going to be.

• 21:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  And so we like stopped hooking up and then he started hooking up with other people and I was like, you can't do that.

• 21:29Speaker 00

  Meanwhile, it was me and that's it.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  I'm also hooking up with other people.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, what I'd get, I'd know exactly what the fuck you're talking about.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  And it's not my actual feelings or values, but I have that like,

• 21:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Like I'll find out that somebody I used to fuck with is fucking with somebody new and I'll be like,

• 21:42Speaker 00

  Totally.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  What are they doing?

• 21:44Speaker 00

  Cause it's like, even my heart of hearts, it's like, I, I'm like, I, I like, I don't want you to hook up. I don't want you to think about anyone else ever for the rest of your life.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 21:52Speaker 00

  That makes no sense logically, but like in my dream world, that's what would be the case.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  I don't want anyone to think about anyone but me in my, in my personal life at all.

• 21:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 01

  Like even my friends, like when you're not hanging out with me, I want you to be like, God, I wish Caleb was here.

• 22:04Speaker 00

  And I'm not.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  I know.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  And that's okay. That's actually normal.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  I had to humble you a little bit. I'd be like, let me, let me.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  It didn't humble me.

• 22:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, it didn't at all.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  No, it didn't touch. It can't touch. You would need a rocket launcher.

• 22:15Speaker 00

  That was crazy. Whoa, god damn.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  To touch.

• 22:17Speaker 00

  Palantir, let's work on this.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Palantir?

• 22:19Speaker 00

  We have a project.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  Hello, Sam Altman? Do some more evil stuff. We need you.

• 22:24Speaker 00

  That's so funny. I like that concept you were talking about, though, of like, we're in this like, culture of choice that is like overwhelming. And sometimes I feel like, why can't I be happy with such a good thing that's just right in front of me? Like, why am I always like, have a wandering eye? Like, what if there's something better out there? Like, that what-if feeling is so uncomfortable and like, I don't know how to sit in that and just be okay with like, because it's like, how many concessions are you supposed to make that's healthy, right? Because there's always compromise.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  And like, I never know, I'm like, am I settling or am I, is this a healthy amount of compromise?

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Well, you.

• 22:55Speaker 00

  Like, when do you know? I don't know. Like, you and I both know, we're both single. I don't know. Like, we don't know.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  Don't you think, I guess I think when I'm having that feeling, because I know what you mean, when you're in a good thing and you're like, I don't know if I'm supposed to be working this much at this, or if I'm supposed to be making this many sacrifices, or what's normal. But don't you feel like, I don't know, I'm just like, when I meet the right person, it won't feel?

• 23:16Speaker 00

  But then, like, what if that feeling never happens?

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 23:18Speaker 00

  I'm so, no, that's the.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm really scared. Say that again.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  I'm so scared. Like, that's the thing I'm so scared of is like, I will, I'll never be content in that way. I'm thinking, I've thought a lot about, um, I made this theory up called the Sudoku theory, which is like, the, if a Sudoku, Sudoku puzzle is easy, it's boring. If it's too hard, you feel dumb. You want that middle level of it's difficult but fun.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  And it's like, I, I think in theory, there's actually, everyone has many soulmates, or like, you could fall in love with many, many people. You could live a happy life with many people. But then like, yeah, it's like, do you want high highs and low lows? Or do you want like contentness? And like, are you actually okay with that level of steady joy? I don't know. Like, I feel like us as comics, we like chase extremes. Like, I also have like, I think I have like ADHD stuff where I'm always like chasing dopamine or like a next hit of something. Like, yeah, I don't know.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  I also think heartbreak is worse when you get a little bit older because in a way, because like when I, when I was heartbroken when I was like 20, I had this like misconception that I was like, I'm never gonna meet someone I feel this way about again. And that was part of the heartbreak because I was like, I'll never meet someone this special ever again.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  Right.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  And that was a uniquely painful type of heartbreak. But then you get a little bit older and it's a different kind of heartbreak where it's like now when I have my heartbroken, I, it's almost sadder because I'm like, I actually will meet more special people and I don't want to. You know what I'm saying? Like there's something sadder about being like, I will get over this. I know that I will get over this.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  Cause you've lived it.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  I've gotten over things before. I will definitely get over this and I don't want to. I just want what I want.

• 24:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  And that's almost sadder in a way.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Or like harder to deal with.

• 24:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  I was talking to Carly on the phone about this last night and

• 24:54Speaker 01

  she was like, she was like, she was like, can I send you some sad songs? And I was like, no, like let's, let's just have the conversation we're having. Don't send me sad songs about it.

• 25:07Speaker 01

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• 25:49Speaker 01

  One of my favorite things about ordering online from Domino's, oh, you guessed it. That's gotta be the Domino's tracker, which lets you track the status of your pizza every step of the way, from the moment you place your order to the moment it's handed to you. Domino's tracker, how about a TV remote tracker?

• 26:07Speaker 01

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• 26:46Speaker 01

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• 27:04Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Young family and Gen Z friend group. Different things. When I go on vacation with friends, something I must have is a kitchen with a nice big oven and stove top.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Where I can cook some of my world famous five alarm, hot and spicy boneless chicken wings with homemade ranch dressing.

• 27:33Speaker 01

  People who eat together stay together. If we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, by we, I mean my Gen Z friend group. Anyone can find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking dot, yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Everyone deserves access to high quality, affordable healthcare, no matter what. That's why millions of people rely on Planned Parenthood. Health centers for services, okay. For services like cancer screenings. Let's do a serious one. For services like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI tests and more. In fact, one in three women in the US have been to Planned Parenthood for care. So it kind of blows my mind, okay?

• 28:18Speaker 01

  That lawmakers are trying to permanently shut them down. Yeah, it does. They already passed a law that blocks patients that use Medicaid from getting the affordable preventative care they need. And now they want to make that law permanent. Nobody benefits when people are getting fewer exams, paying more for care, or just skipping the healthcare they need. And we know that's happening. Planned Parenthood health centers have reported that fewer patients are getting basic care like breast exams and STI tests since the Trump administration and their backers defunded Planned Parenthood. Patients shouldn't suffer because of their laws. Our communities deserve better. To get involved, text UPDATE to 22422. Obviously, a bit of a vibe shift, but that's a beautiful one. Let's, let's text. Everybody text.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  You are beautiful.

• 29:02Speaker 00

  See, if this was a dance party, you would have been having so much fun.

• 29:04Speaker 01

  Dude, if there was a beat under that, that's the kind of shit I'm talking about. That's what I want.

• 29:09Speaker 00

  I'm getting it now.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  And it's not karaoke. People who understand me will understand me.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  No, I get what you're getting at.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want someone to play like, I want someone to play like fucking Earth, Wind & Fire.

• 29:18Speaker 00

  Mmm.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  I want to, that's what I, and I want to be just a little stoned.

• 29:22Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got way too stoned yesterday, actually.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Oh, my god, really?

• 29:26Speaker 01

  I got way too stoned.

• 29:27Speaker 00

  What was it, edible?

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Weird at the taco spot. No. It was a joint that, I smoked, I smoked a joint, like, two nights ago. Chance was over at my house. I smoked some of this joint. I felt a little high. I maybe took like four hits, felt a little high, felt nice.

• 29:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Yesterday, took two hits. Maybe it's because I hadn't eaten, I don't know. But I got fucked up, off this. And then, yeah, I was weird at the taco spot.

• 29:48Speaker 00

  How do you think you're being weird?

• 29:50Speaker 01

  I was just being weird. I kept like, I kept pronouncing the words on the menu pretty.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  Were you like white guy trying too hard at El Pastor?

• 29:58Speaker 01

  I was, it was more complicated than El Pastor, but yeah.

• 30:04Speaker 00

  Enchilada?

• 30:06Speaker 01

  I was like, enchilada?

• 30:09Speaker 01

  I was doing too much.

• 30:10Speaker 00

  Por favor, enchilada.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  And low key, they liked it, but.

• 30:13Speaker 00

  I bet they loved it.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  They did.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  Your eyes red as fuck trying to pronounce.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  They knew what was up, yeah. They knew what was up because I, at one point after I had interacted with the two of their two servers that had come over at different times, I'd interacted with both of them, So Stone.

• 30:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  And then I looked over and they were like giggling and I was like, yeah, they know what's up.

• 30:30Speaker 00

  Hey, you always get the laugh, huh?

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Get, get the laugh you need. Oh, it was so fucking good. I had an octopus taco.

• 30:36Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, we should go sometime.

• 30:38Speaker 00

  Delicious. Where at?

• 30:39Speaker 01

  You eat octopus?

• 30:39Speaker 00

  I, I eat everything.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 30:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  Nice. Yeah, apparently these days.

• 30:43Speaker 00

  Oh. Gobble, gobble.

• 30:49Speaker 00

  Give me that dick.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Oh, I hate seeing you like that.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  I hate knowing that you suck dick too.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  I know. Isn't it sick?

• 31:02Speaker 00

  It's so sad.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  It's sick to think about.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  It's so sad.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  It's really sick to think about.

• 31:06Speaker 00

  It's really, it's rough.

• 31:07Speaker 01

  You got a thing in there?

• 31:08Speaker 00

  I got a she that he. I feel like I really, I feel very fluid. Like I feel really like I fluctuate.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  I know that about you.

• 31:15Speaker 00

  But yeah, you know, I got a little, I got a little, I like my, I love my gender right now. It's very fudge.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 31:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  What is your gender right now? I mean, fudge, but.

• 31:22Speaker 00

  Feminine butch, you know?

• 31:23Speaker 01

  But what is, what has changed about your gender that you're feeling so in love with?

• 31:26Speaker 00

  I think I just feel like divinely harnessing femininity and masculinity in ways where I, I used to like feel a lot of shame around my masculinity because I was a tomboy as a kid. And then, you know, I just felt ugly and unfuckable and all these things. And then, uh, I finally accepted that. And the ones I accepted my masculinity, then it allowed me to start wearing like skirts and wearing pink and wearing makeup. And like, now I feel like I could wear like a baggy fit like this and put on like a little beat and like feel really good and powerful. Like I feel really like hot.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:59Speaker 00

  In a way that like, I did not grow up feeling hot. I grew up in like a white, uh, like around white people and Mexicans and like, I was dark skinned and like I was not desirable and I just feel really like, I feel like it's weird. I feel like in a, in a very broad stroke sense, like women want me and, and men want me in a way that like. This is crazy to me. Like, I still feel like that ugly kid all the time who was like overweight and like unlovable or whatever, but like it's so like, I don't know, and I'm working always on like internal validation, you know?

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:29Speaker 00

  And like, do I feel good in what I wear? And do I feel confident how I look outside of? But it's just weird to feel like, it's also like when you're when you're like a, and I'm sure like, like as a, as a masculine woman, I was undesirable to men, but then when I would be in queer circles, when I like moved to New York and stuff, I was like, whoa, people like, there's a mass shortage, like people want this. And like, that's weird. And like, even with femininity with men too, I'm sure like there's certain circles where it's like that was rejected and now you're like embraced or whatever, you know, it's like, it's weird, you know, what the context you are in is where you could be more desirable, I don't know. And it feels really good.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. How's the, um, wait, you were saying something about, um, feeling desirable. Oh, internal validation. How's that journey going?

• 33:10Speaker 00

  It's tough.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 33:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. I think like, you know, me and my therapist, we're working on, we're cooking, you know?

• 33:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:18Speaker 00

  I think a lot of it is, I think anytime I show up for myself when no one, like who you are when no one's around is who you are. Like, that's actually how much you love yourself, in my opinion.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 33:29Speaker 00

  Like, are you like treating yourself sweet when no one's around? Like, are you like, you know, eating good food that's nourishing? Are you like taking care of your body? Like, are you, you know, taking alone time? Are you just alone scrolling on, you know, like, I think, I think a lot about who I am when no one's around. And like, that to me is like actual self-love. And then anytime I like show up for myself, or like get up at 7 a.m., do the cool shit or whatever, it's like, oh, I did that for me. And like, that feels really good.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  And I'm like, I'm, I try really hard not to be in competition. And we're in entertainment, it's so hard not to compare yourself, obviously, but like, I'm kind of like, am I better than I was yesterday? Like, am I proud of something that I'm putting out? Like, I try really hard to like, just be in my own world in that sense, you know?

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  But it's a, it's a skill. It's a good thing that you can train and I've gotten better at it and, you know? But it's hard, like, you know, how do you feel about that?

• 34:17Speaker 01

  About internal validation?

• 34:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  I'm pretty good at it, I think.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  Good.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 00

  Why do you think that is?

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Um, I don't know. I really don't know. I just have a, I feel pretty, I just feel pretty good about myself most of the time.

• 34:30Speaker 00

  Were you always like that? Like, do you feel like it's, because I think I, I kind of blame my parents a little bit and how they raised me. Like, do you feel like your parents were setting you up to win in that way?

• 34:38Speaker 01

  My mom, yeah, for sure. My mom definitely always complimented me and, and, and complimented me on things that, yeah, my mom always, my mom did a very good job at parenting in that way. Like, I definitely got a lot of confidence from her love, but also I think really the biggest challenge for me was like, I relate a lot in obviously a different way to what you're talking about, like, growing up and feeling like very undesirable and like very different. Just growing up fat is such a nightmare and being fat in general is such a nightmare. I still have to fend off so many, like, disparate ideas about, like, I see, I, I, when I would read about myself online, I would see so many things about like,

• 35:16Speaker 01

  especially when this podcast started and I would talk about my sex life, I would see so many things about people being like, oh, how long are we gonna let this guy like pretend that he gets laid?

• 35:25Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  And it actually, it used to make me mad, but then it started to make me sad because I'm like, oh, you just actually don't think that fat people have like any value? And it's crazy because I'm like, I don't know that person, but I would bet dollar to dollar that if you put me in a room with them, I would, every single thing about me would outshine them.

• 35:44Speaker 00

  Absolutely.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  And I'm like, yeah, but you just don't, because I'm a fat person, you can't see why someone would be attracted to me. And yet, you're the type of person who behaves like that online.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  Precisely.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Like, I guarantee I would fucking dog walk you in every social interaction.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  And that's fine, like that, but it just makes me, I'm like, oh, that's such an interesting and like limited view of the world, but it's also one that I internalized for so long. And so I think in like my mid, like early mid twenties, um, like getting over that and being like, oh yeah, there's people that feel that way, but there's a bunch of people that don't.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Actually, I'm holding myself back by like internalizing so much of it. Doing that work really set me on a path to just being like, oh, it really doesn't matter what. Anyone thinks about me or what I'm doing.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  Right.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  I know the truth.

• 36:27Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  I know about me.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  Precisely.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 36:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Like, there will always be plenty of people that think I'm whatever. Especially as you, if your profile grows and you become bigger at your job. Like, there are always people that think I'm unattractive, that think I'm unfunny, that think I'm annoying, that decide I'm mean, that think I'm whatever, whatever, whatever. And it doesn't fucking matter.

• 36:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, what other people think of you is none of your business.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  It just doesn't matter.

• 36:49Speaker 00

  I tell that to myself all the time, you know? As long as, like, the people who I love, like, as long as they fuck with me, that's it. I don't care. Like, I really don't care. And that's, like, freeing. It's really liberating.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 36:59Speaker 00

  To let go like that.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it's like the people that, yeah, the people that I care about. There are plenty of people in my life who could tell me something about me and I would receive it.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  If they're like, "Oh, you've been X, Y, or Z lately." I would hear, uh, feedback from people that I love.

• 37:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  But really, if you're not in my inner circle, I don't give a fuck what you think about me. It doesn't matter.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  You've been, like, kinda too high at the taco shop recently.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  I got too high at the taco shop. The taco shop staff giving me feedback.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  "Hey, when you come in here two stones, like, it's not a cute look."

• 37:25Speaker 00

  You're being weird.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  You're being weird. You're putting too much emphasis on enchilada.

• 37:31Speaker 00

  There's not that many As in enchilada.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  And enchilada. And they're like, "Hey, man." No, they love me over there.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  They love you.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  They're the only people that matter to me.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  And that's it. That's your inner circle.

• 37:41Speaker 01

  My friends, family, and people at the taco shop. That's it. Those are the only people that can get to me.

• 37:45Speaker 00

  And that's, love is love.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, love is loving, love wins.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  Love wins always.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Which I've always said.

• 37:49Speaker 00

  Which I've, I used to say, but now I'm straight.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  You are back on straight. I'm so scared for what your straight era might do to the community. Because you're a powerful member of the queer community.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  You think I'm a powerful?

• 38:02Speaker 01

  We need you. Don't leave us.

• 38:06Speaker 00

  That, that scissor sister over there, she's a powerful member of the lesbian community.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  You are. You're a power broker.

• 38:13Speaker 00

  I don't wanna be that.

• 38:17Speaker 01

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• 39:01Speaker 01

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• 41:58Speaker 01

  That's what it takes to be a business mogul.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, you got to. If you want to make a profit.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  Well, someone's got to.

• 42:04Speaker 00

  Someone's got to squeeze.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  And it's them.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  It's them. Capitalism is so beautiful. I've always said that.

• 42:08Speaker 01

  I don't feel bad about it for a second.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  You and Bezos, buddies.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  I used to be like them.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  Used to tolerate, but now.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  I used to be a worker.

• 42:16Speaker 00

  Now, what is this, black power first?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Now I exploit. This is worker power.

• 42:21Speaker 00

  It's just hard to tell.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Black power's on this one.

• 42:22Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, got it.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  No, no, they're fine. They're fine. They're safe.

• 42:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  They're treated well. They're fine. They're fine. They're safe.

• 42:31Speaker 00

  Why are all the doors locked? And why are they crying?

• 42:33Speaker 01

  So they can't get out.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  They're crying because they're weak. No, everyone, everyone here is good. Well, everyone, will you guys just say really quick that you're good? I'm great.

• 42:42Speaker 00

  I'm great.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Michelle, just loudly.

• 42:45Speaker 00

  They all did SOS with their eyes when they blinked. They all did SOS, I saw that.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Oh no, being a business mogul is hard, you know.

• 42:54Speaker 00

  I run a business.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  You have an empire?

• 42:56Speaker 00

  My little empire, yeah.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  Your little empire?

• 42:58Speaker 00

  My cute little empire.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Oh, I wish I'd been in Kansas City when you went.

• 43:01Speaker 00

  Oh my god, yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  I still get sad about that. You played a college there, right?

• 43:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, I did a college, I met Tara.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  She's the best.

• 43:07Speaker 00

  Tara's so fucking cool.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Isn't she the coolest?

• 43:10Speaker 00

  I met her and I was like, this girl dresses so well, let's just start there, like, first view, right?

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:15Speaker 00

  Beautiful, incredible politics.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  She's brilliant.

• 43:18Speaker 00

  So brilliant.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  You know, she's been on the pod.

• 43:20Speaker 00

  Oh my god, yes, and I loved that, I've actually shared that clip around, the one where you guys talked about how they, what was it, they gathered, they united people on housing issues, not, because they were like, people who voted for Trump in the building, people who voted for, you know, whatever, and they, they united on a one issue, and they were able to not, I think it was like, not raise the rent in the building or something like that.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  It was the trailer park being displaced to build a jail.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Which is fucking hilarious, it's like, on the nose, like, evil, yeah.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  That sounds like a Lifetime movie, that's crazy.

• 43:51Speaker 01

  Truly, and yeah, organize that a bit.

• 43:53Speaker 00

  But that clip was just so beautiful, and I think I've even sent that to my brother, I was like, this is how like, we need, we are more alike than different, we have a similar, class is the thing that's the most uniting thing, housing issues are uniting, like, cost of living is uniting, like, that is so brilliant of a method, and I just loved it, I loved that you had her on the pod, and I thought that was really fucking cool.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  She's genius, Tara has like, completely, uh, she would hate me saying this, Tara and the tenant union have like, completely changed my outlook on politics.

• 44:20Speaker 00

  That's incredible.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  And it's because of Tara's organizing, Tara organized me into that, she's totally brilliant.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  And I was so excited for you guys to meet.

• 44:27Speaker 00

  I think she's so fucking cool, I love to see a badass brown bitch, you know, she's doing that shit.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, you guys accused me of racism when I introduced you.

• 44:33Speaker 00

  That sounds about right.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  And, um, were we wrong?

• 44:36Speaker 01

  I introduced you. I was like, you guys should know each other, like, two people I love and you're in my city, and then they were like, oh, so because we're brown?

• 44:43Speaker 00

  Oh, we gotta know each other. Wait, she's moving here, right? I think she hit me up, okay, yeah, I need to hit her up to hang, let's hang.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  She's here, she was actually supposed to, you know what, she was supposed to call me last night. And she didn't, should we be mean to her?

• 44:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Let's give her a call on the pod, this is one of my new favorite things, is confronting people on the podcast. Uh, Tara?

• 45:02Speaker 00

  Tara.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Tara, where are you at?

• 45:05Speaker 00

  Tara, and also her home is so beautifully decorated as well, I took photos of the room I stayed in, not to be weird.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  It was a great, uh, she was a great dinner party too.

• 45:15Speaker 00

  I believe that. That's like a woman, you know what I mean? It's like a grown ass woman.

• 45:18Speaker 01

  She's a grown ass woman.

• 45:19Speaker 00

  It's a grown ass woman.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Hello, sir.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Hi, baby. I'm on the podcast with Sureni.

• 45:24Speaker 00

  Hi, Tara.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Hi. Oh, my gosh. Hi, guys.

• 45:27Speaker 00

  What the hell is up?

• 45:28Speaker 01

  We were just calling because you never got ahold of me last night and I was wondering what happened.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so interesting because I told you exactly where I was having dinner and you didn't tell me where you wanted to meet.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Love you, girl. I gotta go. Bye.

• 45:47Speaker 00

  Wow. So you're avoidant and anxious. Got it.

• 45:52Speaker 00

  That was crazy.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  She tried to spin it. She's a professional politi- she's a professional politician. She's a fucking spin doctor.

• 45:57Speaker 00

  You walking back all the things you loved about her was crazy.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  She's a hack and a spin doctor and a, in a charlatan.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  Wow. And a vixen. A no good, dirty brown girl. Say it.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Don't listen to, she's a, that's a stone too far. I won't do that bit.

• 46:12Speaker 00

  That's so funny.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  I have values.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  That's so cute, though.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, she can't be believed. She can't be believed.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  Totally.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Sureni, what's so true to you?

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Let me, let me turn this. I'm hearing noises.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  You got noises over there?

• 46:21Speaker 00

  It's my calendar. Sorry.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  What's going on in your calendar?

• 46:23Speaker 00

  I have it on airplane mode, but I just keep getting calendar notifications.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Sureni, what's so true to you?

• 46:30Speaker 00

  I think that, I think that kids of sheltered families make the best actors.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 46:39Speaker 00

  Because you have to lie to do anything.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 00

  Like, I was lying all the time. Is this, is this, I feel like you were probably, you were running rampant. I could tell.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  No, no, no. I was a little sheltered. Yeah, a little, a little bit.

• 46:50Speaker 00

  But like, you have to lie to like, like, for example, like, I would leave the home and I'd be wearing my, like, nice conservative clothing and then I would, like, say bye to my mom and then I would go to school and I'd change into my hoochie shorts.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Like, is that like a related, is this a canon event? Do you know what I'm talking about?

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  Where it's like, you have to do, or I made up a whole debate club that didn't even exist in my high school so that I could smoke weed in the Home Depot parking lot.

• 47:10Speaker 00

  Sorry, mom, if you're seeing this.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Oh, she's watching.

• 47:13Speaker 00

  She's watching for sure. She's, that girl was talking to me.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  She's a K lesbian.

• 47:16Speaker 00

  And she, what'd she say?

• 47:17Speaker 01

  She's a K lesbian.

• 47:18Speaker 00

  A K lesbian?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  She's a celebrity, K lesbian. These are my fan names.

• 47:21Speaker 00

  K lesbian.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're locked in over there.

• 47:24Speaker 00

  That's really cute. I'll get her some merch.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  And the K Latinos. Shout out, you guys.

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Shout out. What's up, Fuz? Okay.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Sureni. We're leaving that in.

• 47:32Speaker 00

  Check that out. Check that out. Check that out. I get her up and standing and go, viva la rasa. Okay.

• 47:39Speaker 00

  Um, what else? Like, uh, just, uh, yeah, or like when I would be like hanging out with boys or something and I would sometimes be like, I would tell my mom like, they're like ageatia, which in our language means like that kind of person, which means they're gay. Or like, you know, just, I'd just be lying left and right. Like you have to do that to like, experience freedom. And cause my parents were so afraid of everything. They like kept me like really locked in and like, I grew really sheltered. When I went to college, I low key had like agoraphobia. Like I just was so, uh, you know, but I just lied so much. I think that, like, I feel like any kid of like a sheltered household, like I'm speaking of brown girls, obviously, but just anyone who comes from a sheltered home, like you

• 48:20Speaker 00

  are just gonna be better at lying. Like the kid who, the kid whose parents were like, if you're gonna drink, you're gonna drink in my basement, they're fucking working HR. You know what I mean? They're ICE agents. They're doing whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? They're not.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  They're ICE agents.

• 48:34Speaker 00

  I don't know. They're not.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  They're fucking ICE agents.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Like, they're not. Is this take feeling anything?

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Oh, this take is huge for me.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  So tell me about, did you have to lie a lot as a kid?

• 48:44Speaker 01

  No, I grew up sheltered. Like as a kid, I didn't know a lot because I just grew up in a very like, quiet, homogenous town. And so I was sheltered, but not conservative. Like in high school and stuff, my mom was like, you can drink, but don't get behind the wheel. Call me if you need a ride. Like my mom wasn't, I didn't have to lie to her to do anything I wanted to do. So that's a difference.

• 49:02Speaker 00

  See, that's white culture, baby.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  That is white culture.

• 49:04Speaker 00

  I'm so jealous of white culture like that way.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  Really?

• 49:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  It was pretty cool.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  The parents were like, yeah, if you wanna do something like do it, that, that's actually harm reduction. It's actually safer.

• 49:12Speaker 01

  My mom was not a do it at the house person though, I will say. She was like, do not drink in my house. Do not have drugs in my house. She's, she's a nurse.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  But I'm here if you need it.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  But she was like, you go drink where you drink and you call me if you need a ride. And I, there were times where nobody was sober to drive and I did call my mom. Cause I was like, I'm not getting in a fucking drunk driver's car.

• 49:27Speaker 00

  That's so cool.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was sick. My mom, my mom and I had an understanding. When I asked her about weed, I was like, I was like, did you ever smoke weed? She was like, yeah, maybe hungry and tired. Like do it if you want, but I didn't think it was interesting. And I didn't smoke weed until I was 27.

• 49:37Speaker 00

  See, that's the point.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Cause it wasn't interesting. Yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  That is how it should be.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  I think it, yeah, I definitely, here's the deal though. It doesn't work the same for every kid. Like she raised my brother that way and he turned into a fucking criminal nightmare menace.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  And I.

• 49:53Speaker 00

  I wanna hear more.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  Turned out really well. Oh, everything.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  Well, that's up to debate.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Broke every law. I turned out great.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  She, well, she would think I turned out great.

• 50:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, well, relatively speaking.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, relatively speaking. Lives in a house that she doesn't pay for.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  Hot diggity, okay, cool, got it.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the thing is, I think that's the thing is like, as a parent, you kind of just pick a method and hope it works.

• 50:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  And you don't know.

• 50:13Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  It's like hindsight's 2020.

• 50:15Speaker 00

  I was really like, I see this a lot with like Asian kids, they just like go buck wild when they go to college. Like, they go ape shit, because that is like their first ounce of freedom that they have. And like, me too, I was crazy, you know, because I just wanted to like, do what the American kids were doing, you know?

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, where'd you go to college?

• 50:30Speaker 00

  I went to UC Berkeley, but I did not like it, I dropped out. I found comedy when I was in college, and that's when I started kind of exploring that.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  And like, I was also having kind of a tough time with my family, and like doing my mental health and stuff. And it was just like a tumultuous time, and then, I actually never went back to school.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Who needs it?

• 50:49Speaker 00

  I mean, not us, we're doing a podcast.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  I'm saying, I have a degree for nothing.

• 50:53Speaker 00

  What did, what's your, where'd you go?

• 50:55Speaker 01

  I went to Missouri State.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  I got a degree in socio-political communication.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  Ooh.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Don't use it?

• 51:00Speaker 00

  Hell, yeah. We're communicating right now?

• 51:02Speaker 01

  We're communicating, I use my degree in terms of like, things, I learned how to like, I learned skills in college.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  Sure.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  I learned how to like, meet a deadline, and like, socialize, and like, be on time, and like, network. Like, I learned things, but I don't, it's very rare that I like turn back to specific coursework.

• 51:18Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 51:18Speaker 01

  And I'm like, oh, this lesson that we learned.

• 51:20Speaker 00

  Right, right, right.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, there was like some, I did, when I started, found comedy, I started doing like, acting classes, directing classes, writing classes, that, some stuff has helped and stuff. But like, I agree, it's mostly the stuff outside of the campus that has been beneficial. Or like being independent, or like having a safety net to be independent, you know?

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, and friends.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  And friends, you know?

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Friends was a big part of it.

• 51:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  For me. Wait, if you, if you weren't doing comedy, what do you think you'd be doing?

• 51:44Speaker 00

  I have authority problems like you.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Oh, I can't, you can't tell me to do anything?

• 51:47Speaker 00

  I have mad authority problems as well.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:50Speaker 00

  Um, I think I'd be a business owner of some sort, for sure.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:53Speaker 00

  Um, I've thought about this, I'm like, if I, you know, when I quit comedy, um, it's like, maybe, I don't know, like, I could see where I run like a, I don't know, like a, a per, like a, maybe I'd run events.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 52:08Speaker 00

  Maybe, I don't know. Actually, lowkey want to be like a florist. I love gardening.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  You'd be a great florist.

• 52:14Speaker 00

  I love plants, I love gardening, I love green, green shit, and maybe I'd do something that, I don't know.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  You'd fuck it up at Stone Fruit.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  Thank you, brother.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Stone Fruit on Bedford, they'd love to have you. Stone fruit on Bedford, the girls in there.

• 52:28Speaker 00

  It seems so zen.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  They're just, they're just.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  Right? How nice. And they charge like 3,000 for that bitch.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  They charge.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  You know what I mean?

• 52:36Speaker 01

  They charge.

• 52:37Speaker 00

  I just feel like that seems like a simple, what would you be doing if you weren't doing this?

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Oh, if I wasn't doing this, oh, I'd probably be dead by now.

• 52:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  Well, that for sure. I would be dead. Comedy saved me.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 52:46Speaker 00

  Oh, I shouldn't be dead for sure.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I for sure would have jumped.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  I didn't think I'd get this far and now I'm kind of like, well, now I'm here.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  Same.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Isn't that a weird feeling?

• 52:52Speaker 01

  My whole life, I could never picture myself older than like 23.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  And then like my whole childhood and then I got through that and then now every kind of week, I'm like, huh, we're still doing this.

• 53:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was that kid who like romanticized like the 27 Club.

• 53:09Speaker 00

  Like, I'm not supposed to be here.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  I should be gone. I'm supposed to be really like, I'm supposed to be my Amy Winehouse bag.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Just get addicted to heroin.

• 53:20Speaker 01

  How many people do you think, I just, I don't think I conceptualized as a kid, no adult told me like, oh yeah, I didn't think I was gonna live older than 25 and now I'm alive and I'm just kind of winging it every day.

• 53:31Speaker 00

  It's like a common experience I've heard a lot of people say.

• 53:33Speaker 01

  But if an adult would have told me that, I feel like I would have felt so much better.

• 53:37Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  No one told me that. So anyway, oh wait, you want to play a game?

• 53:42Speaker 00

  Okay, let's play a game.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Okay, let's play a game.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  I'm skilled.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm gonna read you 15 statements.

• 53:52Speaker 00

  Oh my god, okay.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Huge.

• 53:59Speaker 00

  Cool, what forums? Vizel, Venmo?

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Uh, someone else handles that, honey.

• 54:04Speaker 00

  Oh my god, one of the straights.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  One of the heterosexual people deals with that.

• 54:08Speaker 00

  Right, right, right.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Um, are you ready?

• 54:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:11Speaker 01

  A cube has 12 edges.

• 54:12Speaker 00

  Wait, it's true or false? Sorry.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  It's true or false.

• 54:14Speaker 00

  Okay, a cube, say it again.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  A cube has 12 edges.

• 54:17Speaker 00

  False.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  True. Electrons are smaller than protons.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Ooh, true.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  True. The American Civil War ended in 1865.

• 54:28Speaker 00

  I feel so dumb.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  False.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  True. All mammals give live birth.

• 54:37Speaker 00

  True.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  False. Eastlake High School's yearbook is the Titan.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  It's true. Wait, wait, wait. The yearbook is the Titan? You mean, you mean the, the logo or like the mascot?

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Eastlake High School's yearbook is the Titan.

• 54:50Speaker 00

  Yearbook?

• 54:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 54:52Speaker 00

  What is, I think they're meant to say, false. Cause the, the mascot.

• 55:00Speaker 01

  It's not uncommon for a yearbook to also be names.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  Okay, so then true.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  What's your answer?

• 55:05Speaker 00

  True.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  Okay, false.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Oh shit, that was a fun one, okay. The main gas in Mars's atmosphere is carbon dioxide.

• 55:20Speaker 00

  Uh, true.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  It is true. Coal was formed from compressed dinosaur remains.

• 55:26Speaker 00

  True. False.

• 55:30Speaker 01

  What's your answer?

• 55:34Speaker 00

  True.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  False.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Plants. Saved by the Bell, we're in for four seasons.

• 55:39Speaker 00

  False.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  True. Dell computers are no longer in production.

• 55:43Speaker 00

  What heaters?

• 55:43Speaker 01

  Dell computers.

• 55:45Speaker 00

  Are no longer in production?

• 55:46Speaker 01

  Are no longer in production.

• 55:47Speaker 00

  False.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  That is false. UC Berkeley's motto is for them all.

• 55:52Speaker 00

  My comedy? Uh, no, false.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  False, it's let there be light.

• 55:57Speaker 00

  I did not know that.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Mary Shelley wrote Animal Farm.

• 56:02Speaker 00

  False.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  False, it's George Orwell.

• 56:03Speaker 00

  George Orwell, yeah, yeah.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  The CN Tower is in Toronto. Uh, Toronto, sorry guys.

• 56:08Speaker 00

  CN Tower.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  The CN Tower's in Toronto.

• 56:11Speaker 00

  True.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  True. Ostriches are the fastest land animal.

• 56:16Speaker 00

  False.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  False, it's cheetahs. One is not a prime number.

• 56:23Speaker 00

  Wait, prime is where you can divide, right? No, or is where you can't divide, fuck. I was not a STEM person. Wait, one is not a prime.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  One is not a prime number.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  Uh, false.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 56:42Speaker 01

  Red Tomato Pizza House is closed on Sundays.

• 56:46Speaker 00

  Who researched this?

• 56:52Speaker 00

  Red Tomato House is not open on Sundays.

• 57:00Speaker 00

  True.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  That is true. How'd she do? Eight. Wow.

• 57:04Speaker 00

  Out of what?

• 57:05Speaker 01

  Out of fifteen.

• 57:06Speaker 00

  So how many did I have to get?

• 57:07Speaker 01

  You needed to get ten or more.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  Ten?

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:10Speaker 00

  I did pretty good.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:11Speaker 00

  I felt actually really good. Internal validation, look at that.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:14Speaker 00

  I'm really proud of myself when I went back there.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did good. You did good.

• 57:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  It was good.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  I don't believe you.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  No, it was good. It was good.

• 57:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  It felt worse than it was somehow.

• 57:26Speaker 00

  I thought it felt good.

• 57:30Speaker 00

  I was looking like, I'm killing this right now.

• 57:31Speaker 01

  I'm killing this.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  No, it's good. It's good.

• 57:34Speaker 00

  No, it's good.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  And you're getting paid regardless. Don't worry about it.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Oh, I'm good.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  Money's coming.

• 57:37Speaker 00

  You, I think you should pay your team first.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Money's coming. They are not getting paid. You will get paid.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  Woo!

• 57:44Speaker 01

  No, I don't pay them.

• 57:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  They don't do valuable work.

• 57:47Speaker 00

  They look malnourished.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Uh, what else do you want to tell the people? Anything you want to leave everybody with?

• 57:52Speaker 00

  Uh, like something to plug, is that what you're saying?

• 57:55Speaker 01

  Well, sure. Tell them where they can find you. What you want to plug.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  Um...

• 57:58Speaker 01

  Words of wisdom?

• 58:00Speaker 00

  Oh, damn. Uh, that's a lot of things. Okay, um, you know, get you a therapist that you really love.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  That's beautiful.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. My person is Lando, this non-binary immigrant person.

• 58:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 00

  Who I love.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Older, younger?

• 58:17Speaker 00

  We've been, we've been cooking. Older. Um, I don't know. Just, you know, hang with your friends, show love to one another, um, eat some good food, you know, get some lob.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 00

  Go to HOLY.

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 00

  H O L I.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  H O L I.

• 58:30Speaker 00

  Um, I am on social media. My Instagram is Surenie, S U R E N I. TikTok is Surenie Comedy. Come to a show. I'll be on tour later this year. And then I'm working on a show right now. It's called Lunch Lady. Carly's working on it too. It's where I cook with, uh, older women across New York City. And I'm trying to get to every country. It's called Lunch Lady because my mom's a lunch lady and she's retiring next year and, uh, it's kind of an ode to her, but it's, uh, you know, people tend to infantilize or de-sexualize older women, but they're out here fucking. They're out here doing their shit. They're living their life and... And I'm excited, it's like a little project I'm working on.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Oh yeah.

• 59:03Speaker 00

  It's like, uh, it's really vulnerable to start a project.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  I don't do that often, it's like, I, uh, I feel like I've been part of many people's projects, but it's vulnerable to like, start something, you know, and I, um, and if it goes bad, it goes bad, I'm proud of myself regardless.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  I'm proud of you too, it is scary.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  It's, it's really scary.

• 59:21Speaker 00

  I'm having a lot of fun, like, this is my year of collaboration, like, I wanna collaborate with people and like, work with friends and like, just like, laugh a lot, and I feel like, I don't, my life's good, I really, I love my life.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Well, it was a great episode, thanks for doing it.

• 59:35Speaker 00

  Thanks for having me.