Mary Beth Barone Returns

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Mary Beth Barone! Mary Beth and Caleb talk the Golden Globes, extravagant weddings, taking big swings, and much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Mary Beth! @marybethbarone Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Get a free can of OLIPOP: drinkolipop.com/sotrue Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com/SOTRUE Find exactly what you’re booking for. Booking.com, Booking. YEAH! Book today on the site or in the app. Try Trü Frü! Blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle! So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:29Speaker 01

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• 0:59Speaker 02

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• 1:30Speaker 03

  Wave.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  But I do think that I'm starting behind the eight ball, as they say with people. I'm constantly winning people over. I'm not starting with... People are not coming into interactions with me presuming positive intent. They're presuming negative intent.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  You mean to tell me that you genuinely identify as an underdog?

• 1:49Speaker 03

  Unfortunately, I would say, in this current moment.

• 1:57Speaker 03

  Do you ever get worried, you're like, well, that's the last funny thing I'm gonna say?

• 2:00Speaker 04

  No.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  I'm worried about not being funny on this.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  I get so sad because I know that the funniest things I'll ever say haven't even happened yet.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  That's really powerful.

• 2:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what? Actually, one of my meditations for this year,

• 2:19Speaker 04

  one of my meditations for this year is the best things are yet to come. And what I mean by that, and sit with every single morning, there are a couple of things I sit with every morning. One of them is, when I am 90 years old, which I will be, looking back on my life thus far, but when I'm 90, there's so much left to do.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 2:35Speaker 04

  The things that I will be the happiest about and most proud of have literally not even occurred yet in this moment.

• 2:40Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  They're all ahead of me. They're in my, they're in tomorrow, next week, next month.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  Really puts things into perspective.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  Well, it doesn't even matter if it's true, by the way.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  You just have to tell yourself that in order to live.

• 2:53Speaker 04

  Living a happy life is about the lies that you tell yourself. And it's a beautiful and important thing to do.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  It's about the delusion.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  100%. And I'm happy to be delusional. I also tell myself every morning that I am a loving person in a world that loves me back. And that one's beautiful.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  I believe that.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  That one's sweet.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  For you. I don't believe it for me, but...

• 3:08Speaker 04

  Which part? You're not loving or the world doesn't love you back?

• 3:12Speaker 04

  What do you mean? Why would you say that? You have a beautiful, charmed life.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  For now.

• 3:15Speaker 04

  Are you practicing enough gratitude, Mary Beth?

• 3:17Speaker 03

  I practice gratitude. I could, I could definitely practice it more. And thank you for calling me in on that.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  I'm calling you out.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  It feels like in. It felt like in in that moment.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  It's in for sure.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  I just, I think I have a lot of gratitude. I just wish that like, I wish I felt joy more. Uh, I'm working on it in therapy.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  What are, what is, how is that going? Like, what is gonna be the solution?

• 3:40Speaker 03

  We just started last week. We just started talking about it.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  It's something I've been aware of for a long time, though.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, so what did you say when you brought it up to your, like, I'm not joyful enough?

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Well, I think it was more like, when good things happen, are you able to really like, internalize that? And I was like, well, no.

• 3:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Is that something people are doing?

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, wait, hold on. Were people internalizing joy the whole time?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Because that's not something I have been practicing.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  You didn't get the memo.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  No, but gratitude, yes. And I think, I think it was really important for last year to end for me so that I could start this new chapter of 2026. And then I found out today that Egg Shop in Williamsburg is closing on Sunday. And I'm thinking like, what else? You know, like, what else could go wrong? Egg Shop, it's an establishment in Williamsburg. Delicious little breakfast spot that I go, I used to go with Pinky all the time, my dog. And now it's closing forever and I don't know why.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  Did you, well, Egg Shop, please reach out and let us know what occurred.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  A twink DM'd me today and told me.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  A twink DM'd you? I can't imagine how much that happens to you.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  It's, it's relentless, but I wouldn't have it any other way. That's something I have gratitude for.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  Do you know what's so funny? You're getting a million DMs a day from twinks. I'm getting a million DMs a day from straight guys and lesbians.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  What are they saying?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  We need to.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  We have to figure this out.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, the lesbians are all barking at me and hitting on me. I mean, the way that lesbians objectify me is actually like, it's approaching problematic, but I find it so beautiful that I'm not willing to report. And yeah, it's getting really, really dangerous. I do feel that someday I'll be killed by a lesbian who wanted me so bad that they had to like, take me off the market.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  If they can't have you, no one can.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  It will be like that. It's the vibe that I'm getting. I have their lesbian, every time I post a cute picture of myself trying to like, garner interest from gay men. That's like outside of the realm of Grindr, you know, I sometimes I want to be, I want to be lusted after on Instagram.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Every time, it's just 17 million lesbians asking where I got my sweater and.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Mine, and just to, here's what I think. I think we could, together we could change the world.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Because my DMs, as I mentioned, twinks and bisexual girls.

• 5:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  So I, we've covered, we've covered the entire spectrum.

• 5:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  And once we're ready to activate, mobilize, I think they'll be ready. But I hear you. It's like my thirst traps, when I post them, I'm not, it's like gay guys saying, mother. Love, by the way.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Totally, your mother them, yeah.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  And I want that.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  But it's, there's no straight guys saying mother.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  Well, you don't want the straight guys to say mother. Although that is what they want, most straight guys.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  I know.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  I know. They want to be mothered.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  But you have to figure out how to make, you have to figure out how to position yourself as mother without them knowing.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  It has to be sort of an inception situation.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have to be both, uh, mother and wife. You have to be both Madonna and whore.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  And whore, exactly. And I'm ready. Put me in, Coach.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  Are you?

• 6:19Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 6:20Speaker 04

  So what we're working on this year is finding a new breakfast spot, uh, experiencing joy and being both Madonna and whore.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  And whore.

• 6:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  And I'm open to being Madonna and whore for a woman. I'm, I'm sort of, I'm sort of down for whatever.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  I think if you were Madonna and whore for a woman, it would be incredibly progressive and turn everything sort of on its head.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Well, and that's what I'm trying to do with both my stand up and my personal life.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. How is that going? And how is that showing up for you?

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Stand up is good. I'm practicing, I'm practicing. I love saying I'm practicing. I'm practicing stand up right now.

• 6:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Um, and it is a religious practice in a lot of ways, but I'm doing my Netflix special on March 19th, so I'm trying to get, get all my reps in and tread the boards, as they say.

• 7:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. And we're always saying that.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Just so I feel really prepared and, you know, I'm sort of, I feel like preparation is, it pays off.

• 7:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  And I just thought of that.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's really beautiful. And you just came up with that on the spot even.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  Do you remember the last time you came on the show, we, we sort of continued to get in trouble for talking about pit bulls?

• 7:16Speaker 03

  You and- I'll bring it up again. I don't care.

• 7:18Speaker 04

  I don't care. Fuck them. I don't, I would say-

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Oh, we got in trouble for a lot on that. I don't know if you saw that the pro-gun Instagram people, TikTok, Twitter, found that we said that if you melted every gun-

• 7:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  You would never have another shooting. And they're like, you can build a gun.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  And I was like, okay.

• 7:35Speaker 04

  It's, some of this stuff gets sent to me. I deleted TikTok a long time ago and I am not participating at all anymore. I'm not participating at all anymore. I'm out, I'm off. We clip this, put it out. Dear media, clip this.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  So you're not posting, like even for the pod?

• 7:47Speaker 04

  No, the, I'm, that's, I'm, I Caleb, I'm off.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:50Speaker 04

  Caleb, the internet guy presence is still there and managed by Virginia. Thank you, sweetie. I love you. Um, so the videos go out, but I'm not reading it, watching it. I can't be involved. But I have heard tell that we have once again, there's two clips that right wing, um, outlets love to like- Spin up with me.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  One is you and I talking about guns and I said that we should melt them all and there'd never be another shooting. They hate that. They think I'm an idiot, which is fine.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  They said, I can't believe these two can vote.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, and they're revolting. And I think that those people, like there are legitimately so many people in right wing online circles. There will be a change in the tides eventually where it's not a right wing despot in power and it'll be someone like us and they're in big trouble.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  They're in huge trouble.

• 8:35Speaker 04

  And then Nori Reed and I, there's a clip that goes like right wing viral every week of us. We could, you can't imagine two comedians talking more facetiously.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Right.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  We're talking.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Oh, satire? It's over their heads.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  So jokingly about being happy that our dads died because they were white men. I think at one point, we literally say every time a straight white man dies, a trans person gets their wings.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Like, we're talking so, and right wing people foaming at the mouth like, these fat blah, like they're so mad.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  So, one thing I wanted to bring up, since you just mentioned that you are still posting clips of the podcast on TikTok, but you personally are not on there.

• 9:10Speaker 04

  Say it.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  I've been trying to, I've been explaining to my friends why I'm having trouble sleeping lately and it's because, so I don't know if you've ever felt this and maybe not.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  You've felt my absence on TikTok.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  I have felt it and it's keeping me up at night.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're not sleeping.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  I'm tossing and turning.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  I feel like, you know how the AI singularity thing, or maybe it's not AI, but just singularity in general is like when we've uploaded like our consciousness to the cloud and we don't have use for like physical form anymore.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  I feel like as a, as a person that's on the internet and trying to like be a public figure or whatever, I feel like that's sort of happening already.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  Where like, part of my consciousness is existing all the time on the internet. I'm never sleeping on the internet because like, your, your, your content is constantly being interacted with, commented on. It's like you're living a whole life on there.

• 9:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  And it's like, it keeps me awake now.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  And so I feel like we're sort of like inching towards that and it's really scaring me.

• 9:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  And I don't, I want my physical form, like as much as I abuse it and I hate what I look like, I want it still.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Do you hate what you look like?

• 10:04Speaker 03

  Sometimes, most of the time.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  I find that very surprising. You're so beautiful.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  I'm surprising you a lot today.

• 10:10Speaker 04

  You are.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Wait till I start hitting on you.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  It's just, I'm looking forward. It's really tough when beautiful people hate the way they look.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Thank you for saying that.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  It really brings my audacity to light. You know what I mean? Cause, cause I am beautiful, but I'm also fat in a society that hates fat people. And so the fact that I genuinely go through the day being like, God, I'm hot. And then to hear that someone who gets to be so thin, it can dislike their appearances. Well, God, Mary Beth, that just makes me sick.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  Well, and that's why I wanted to come on the podcast.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  To talk about.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Was to just talk about thinness and how it is actually really hard.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  Yeah. And it's a tough thing you're going through.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's really hard.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can understand that totally. I mean, the number of people, I've lost like a little bit of weight recently, not trying, just sort of something that's happening. And people are really sounding off about it.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  I, I, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that I noticed.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Because I'm perceptive and I'm always, I'm clocking people's tea everywhere.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, my tea's been clocked, yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  You can't, you can't pull some shit like that and think that I'm not gonna notice.

• 11:12Speaker 04

  You think I'm not gonna notice a change in appearance?

• 11:14Speaker 03

  I'm gonna notice.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm noticing.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  But I'm not gonna comment on it unless it is brought up in a public forum, like on a podcast.

• 11:19Speaker 04

  And here we are.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  So are people asking you about if you're on GLP-1?

• 11:22Speaker 04

  Not asking.

• 11:26Speaker 04

  Telling me, people, my idea, I would say every time I post a picture of myself lately, it is, and I really want this to stop. This is like beyond inappropriate and not something I enjoy.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Just many, many, many people being like really disappointed that you're on Ozempic. I am not on Ozempic. I don't believe in that stuff unless you need it for a medical reason. I'm not interested in it. I am just like, yeah, I'm, it's, yeah, I'm really, really annoyed by people's, we still, I just feel like we have this conversation so often, like a million different ways about how we shouldn't comment on this stuff.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  And people just feel so emboldened to like talk about your body in a way that I'm like, I don't understand it.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  It just, yeah, there is a disconnect between people who find it like to be one of the worst things you could possibly do to someone is to bring up their appearance. And then people who just feel like it's, it's open season to just sort of talk about it.

• 12:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  I mean, I don't, yeah, I, it's, it's hard because there are of course people whose bodies I would love to comment on.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  There's, that's an, that's instinctual.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  By the way, I'm commenting on people's bodies.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  Of course, but not publicly.

• 12:31Speaker 04

  Not publicly, not to them. Hello?

• 12:34Speaker 03

  That, save it for the group chat.

• 12:35Speaker 04

  I'm in private being like, she's gotten busted. Like, hello?

• 12:38Speaker 03

  People need to utilize group chats if you're about to post something.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Hello? Say, look into your camera and say this, because I know you're about to give a word.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  If you're about to post something, if you're about to start a discourse.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  Please send it to your group chat. We don't need it. We actually don't need to hear it. We definitely don't need to see it. The comfortability people have with putting their face as the, as the, what are you doing?

• 13:02Speaker 04

  Say it.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  What are you doing?

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Say it. At least send it to the group chat first and see if you got it out of your system.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  Let's just see what the response is.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  See if you feel better.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  Maybe you get four laugh reacts and you go, that's a good day.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Sometimes, you know what you can do? And yes, four laugh reactions is incredible.

• 13:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Especially for a, a normal person.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  Especially if it's a five-person group chat.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Please.

• 13:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  And I just think you can even record, you can go so, so far as to record the video. Type out the, type out the Instagram story.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  You don't have to post it.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  Let's just, let's just pull back a little bit.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  I, I can't tell you the number of times that I type out a, a Instagram create mode, which is my canvas. And Instagram create mode is my canvas.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  It's where I feel most special and most locked in. Instagram create mode is actually a place where I can play. And it's a place where I, I show up fully as myself.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  You know William Shakespeare's Quill Pen?

• 13:51Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  It's like that.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  That's my Instagram create mode. But the number of times I do an Instagram create mode, like screed, and I go, I'm gonna post this on main. And then as I'm typing, I go, it's close friends. And then as I'm typing, I go, I'm gonna send this to seven people specifically. Because close friends is an area where I actually can't even play that much anymore.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  I've seen people burn.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  You can't trust anyone.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  You can't trust anyone. And also, I've put too many like, I used to at least be able to talk about my love life on close friends. I can't do that because I have lovers on there now.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  My lovers are on close friends.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  And that's where they, exactly where they should be.

• 14:22Speaker 04

  That's where they should be, but you think I can talk about, I want to talk about what's going on with my roster right now. I can't do that. I've got lovers on there.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  No. And I think what you just described, the idea of thinking, I'm gonna post this publicly, then to close friends, then you save it for the group chat. Good mental health indicator.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  And good judgment.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  Wellness.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  It's wellness.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  Wellness.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  And I, I think that I'm, I'm happier bringing this to the podcast because I think more people need to understand the life cycle of a thought. It can be just that.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. And also, think about your lovers. Imagine that every lover you have, or whatever want to have, is reading the things you're posting.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  I can't, I'm just amplifying. I can't, there's nothing to add to that.

• 14:58Speaker 04

  I just amplify.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  I think we should be using close friends to communicate subliminally with the people that we have crushes on. Currently, sort of famously, I don't have a crush on anyone, so my close friends is truly just my closest friends and my family.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's beautiful.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  And they're seeing pictures of my dog days before I post the same pictures of my dog on main.

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Yes, which is the privilege of being close to you. I messaged a guy on Grindr the other night. He tapped me. Give a little interest alert. And I messaged him and I said, look, I know that we're gonna hook up tonight, but I just want us both to promise we won't fall in love. And he, we joked around for a little bit. And then it was like, super late, and I was like, okay, we're not gonna hook up tonight. But we are going on a date next week. And I do feel randomly like, look, is there a chance this is my husband? I have a problem where I over identify with the meet cute. I have a lot of meet cutes in my life and I over identify and I go, this has to be my husband now, this is my chance, you know?

• 15:54Speaker 03

  And how do they, I guess.

• 15:55Speaker 04

  Has it worked?

• 15:56Speaker 03

  It speaks volumes about someone based on their response to a DM like that, because can't we just have a little fun?

• 16:01Speaker 04

  That's the thing is, I'm, I am being silly on Grindr and not a lot of, not a lot of people enjoying it.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Well, I don't think people, yeah, I don't think of Grindr as a jovial place.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  But I'm being silly in a way where I will fuck you, you know what I mean?

• 16:14Speaker 03

  You alone could change the culture.

• 16:15Speaker 04

  I'm trying to change gay guy culture. I want gay guys to, I want gay guys to have more fun, you know?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  And I want straight guys to have more fun. I'm doing bits with them.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  I actually was thinking of you the other day because, not that you've done this, but so many of my straight girlfriends would be like, oh, you're so lucky, all the good guys are gay. And I'm like, have you, I love and appreciate that mentality, but until you've had to go on a date with a gay guy, until you've had to agree to some of the things I've had to agree to in conversation just to get ass, like, I have to agree, there are women I've never even heard of that I have to agree are mother and like. It's not, it's a nightmare. It's not different than talking about baseball, okay? It's like the same thing.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  No, I know. We are the same, we're fighting the same battles out there.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  Yes, which is that we ultimately want to be hanging out with women.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Just in different fonts.

• 17:02Speaker 04

  Just in different fonts, actually.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, if those women knew gay guys, they would know that a lot of the bad ones are gay as well.

• 17:08Speaker 04

  Most, I mean, yeah, being a man is such a precarious thing. It's not real, we don't have an explanation for it in nature.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  No.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Being a man and talking to a man.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  It's hard.

• 17:18Speaker 04

  I hate that it's happening to you right now.

• 17:19Speaker 03

  I know. Well, I'm actively not talking to them, but when I do, and when I get back out there, yeah. Or straight guys, I mean. When I get back out there, I just want to have more fun. I feel like I could even turn the volume up a little bit on that because I'm getting to a level of comfortability where I just don't care if they think I'm insane.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna have fun and I'm gonna look back on those bits that I did, be it one-sided or not, and I'm laughing.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  Fondly.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  I'm laughing.

• 17:45Speaker 04

  I'm looking back with fondness.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  And I'm telling my friends, I go, I did this great bit the other day with a straight guy.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  And I'm telling them and we're all laughing.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  The guy's never speaking to me again, but that's not what's important, is it?

• 17:55Speaker 04

  Truly, stepping out of your, I'm trying really hard to step out of my worried about being perceived as insane by a lover, trauma, because it is stopping, worrying about being perceived as insane by a lover is stopping me from finding my husband, I feel. I need someone who's actually gonna receive my, we have to promise we won't fall in love tonight when we've never spoken a word to each other. I need that to be received with an excitement.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  You need to be yes-ended.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  You need to be yes-ended. I'm sorry, I didn't train in improv for nothing.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Um, no, and I'm having fun with it and I'm sorry if you can't keep up.

• 18:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Actually, I'm not sorry. You should probably leave.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  We are going to cut something that I just said that was inappropriate. I think circling to my point, gay guys in open relationships.

• 18:41Speaker 04

  Are a problem for me. Why are you talking to me? You already found your person. There's something called greed and we're seeing a lot of it.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  Gluttony even.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  Gluttony. And it's really ruining my life.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  Well, as a woman.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  A bisexual woman that was in an open relationship as well.

• 18:59Speaker 04

  Hold on. Can we sit with that?

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Let's let that sink in.

• 19:02Speaker 04

  Because.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Let's let that sink in.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  As a woman, first of all, to be a woman in this space, thank you. Keep going.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  I, I would say that straight men in open relationships also need to be stopped. As someone who was dating one for, for several years. I benefited from being in an open relationship with a man as a bisexual woman, because I got to hook up with women in that time.

• 19:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  And that was a very beautiful and rewarding experience for me.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  Is, is an open relationship something that I would ever do again? At this point in my life, I can honestly say no. Now, let's say I'm with someone for 20 years.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm minimum.

• 19:41Speaker 04

  This is everyone's big fantasy, by the way.

• 19:42Speaker 03

  I'm minimum 54 at this point, by the way.

• 19:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  But still have a lot of sexual energy.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  And I am shooting a show in Budapest for eight months. And there's a 27 year old grip.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Who wears the hell out of those Carhartt pants.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  It's all, dude.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  Let's just say maybe there'd be some negotiations. At this point in my life, it's not happening for me. I don't want it. I'm not seeking that. And I, I, I learned that that's just not who I am at this point.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  Here's what I want to say. This is something I'm experimenting with. And as we know, everything I say on this podcast is subject to pretty immediate disavowal.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's what podcasts are for.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  That's what my life is. Yeah, that's what my life on the podcast is about. But here's something I'm experimenting with right now. There, these are, I talked to gay guys about, about open relationships and they end up in two different camps. They go, I'm firmly open right now. I want to be in an open relationship immediately when I start dating someone. Or they go, well, we wouldn't be close forever. Of course, down the line, we start out closed, but of course later on we would open it. Here's something I'm trying to bring to the community. We meet, me and a guy.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Neither of us is dating someone else. We start dating each other.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 04

  We fall deeply in love, I'm gonna cry. And we build a family and a life together. And then we die as each other's only lovers.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  And you never touch another person from that point forward.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  And of course, we lust after them. And of course, we say, when we're in our 60s, we're sitting in the Bahamas and we see the cabana boy who's like 28, and he's looking really good in the trunks. And we go, God, it would be nice to take him back to our room. And maybe he's interested and he flirts. And we go, that's really sweet. We're flattered.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  But no.

• 21:11Speaker 04

  No.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  The only person for me is my partner.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  That's beautiful.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I want to bring back a type of love that is suffocating.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Capitalist almost. Ownership. It implies ownership.

• 21:20Speaker 04

  Mutual ownership of one another. That's what I'm interested in experimenting with right now. What if we fall deeply in love and no one ever gets to do anything to us ever again except each other?

• 21:29Speaker 03

  And what does it say about, about this current moment that we're in that that feels radical?

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 21:33Speaker 03

  It feels bad.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  To me, can I just say it feels bad?

• 21:40Speaker 00

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• 22:38Speaker 02

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• 23:08Speaker 03

  And I do want to say that my heart goes out to all the gay men who feel that there is a void inside them that can only be filled by many, many lovers.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  Sometimes at the same time, sometimes just, you know, it's all, I just, my heart goes out because I do feel that it is, it was done to you guys. I don't think you're born, but then maybe it's just like men being men. Maybe if straight guys could do that, they also would, but I, I just, my heart goes out.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  Do you feel that you're overstepping right now?

• 23:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  I don't either.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  But I wondered for a moment.

• 23:43Speaker 03

  And can I tell you why?

• 23:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  I have a deep love, and we've talked about this as well. It's one of our big differences. I have a deep love for gay men.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  I have a deep love for gay men, don't say that.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  I have a deep love for them and I feel that.

• 23:55Speaker 04

  You have a deeper love because you don't have to date them.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  And if I did, I maybe, I wouldn't maybe feel this way, but I think, and, and I'm sure there's people that are gonna be like, eh, me, me, me, just annoying about this. I'm like, I'm, I'm living, I am living as, as a member of the community and I am trying to uplift gay men at every opportunity. I'm trying to uplift every, every letter in the LGBTQIA at any moment. So I really stand on business and I stand on my actions. And I, the reason I feel like I can speak on this is because I am so close with so many community members that I have a pretty big sample size.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  And that's where I'm coming from. And it's never, and it's never like a criticism, oh, you should stop doing this. It's more like, I, I'm here for you.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  And I hope we get to a place where you feel like you don't have to.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  My journey is that when I was younger, I didn't, I hated the idea of an open relationship because I was insecure. I didn't want my person to be out fucking other people because I feared that they would go out and find something better than me. Then I got to a place where I was like, that's not going to happen.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  If you've chosen to be with me, it's because you love what I have going on.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 04

  And we can sleep with other people because they offer fun, other sexual things. But he knows where home is.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  Totally. And, and so now you feel like.

• 25:14Speaker 04

  But hold on.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Because there's been another metamorphosis. That was the last couple of years. He knows where home is was a beautiful chapter.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  But the thing with chapters that's so interesting is the end.

• 25:26Speaker 04

  And new ones begin.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  He Knows Where Home Is was such a beautiful era of my life.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  It's a beautiful ethos.

• 25:31Speaker 04

  It's a beautiful ethos.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  And I'm sure it works for a lot of people.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  I bet it does. And right now, I'm experimenting with, and I might, look, He Knows Where Home Is, the other thing about books is sometimes the theme comes back up. Sometimes you, you repeat a, a situation or an idea. Right now, I'm experimenting with the idea that arranged marriages might be a good idea. That like a, a beautiful, unceasing commitment to another person might be the answer.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Unwavering no way out.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  Unwavering no way out, it's a punishment. In a beautiful way.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  I think that's how a lot of couples feel.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  They do, and I'm experimenting with it because I think it would be beautiful at this point. Look, I've slept with a lot of people. I'm not gonna lie to you.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  No, and same.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  It, right? And I'm, now I'm like, what would it be like to commit to someone no matter what?

• 26:19Speaker 03

  I can't wait to find out for you. Also, one thing I do want to say is that my, my opinions are my opinions, and they can be wrong, but they're mine.

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 26:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  I make a lot of declarations. As you know, I have a podcast of my own. And one thing I will always say is like, I might be wrong, but like, I can't change how I feel.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  And so, a, and I could change my mind at any moment, by the way. That's what's so beautiful about being a Gemini. I'm seeing both sides.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Of the coin. And I might change my mind, but this is where I'm at right now. And this is where you're at, is that you think maybe, maybe there is a romantic entanglement you could see that feels like something you are trapped in. And there can be a lot of beauty in that.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  I think, look, am I being sincere when I say that? I don't know. But I am experimenting with the idea that He Knows Where Home Is was just a chapter. And do, when I think about only sleeping with one person for the rest of my life, do I become like borderline suicidal? Of course.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  But I want to commit to somebody, you know, and I want to have kids with somebody. And I think maybe, yeah, maybe there's something to it. Now, am I entertaining several guys right now at the moment? So much so that I have to... So much so that I have to have an iPhone note of sort of who I'm supposed to be keeping up with? Yes, that is the situation right now. But I'm dreaming of a better life for myself and I want to say what you said, that your opinions are your opinions. That was really powerful and I want to, I have my own version of it and that is that my opinions are your opinions. What I say is true and it's how the people who listen to me feel.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  Feel, yeah.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  And if you're listening to something that I've said, that is, I'm speaking for all of us.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  I speak for everybody.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Well, we hold a mirror up to society.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  People forget that sometimes.

• 28:00Speaker 04

  People forget that.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  And if you don't like what you see.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  It's not me. It's not me.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  I'm just here holding the mirror.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  Don't bite the hand that holds the mirror, sugar.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Please do not. Don't, don't fucking even try.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  Don't bite the hand that holds the mirror, sugar.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Don't send your pit bull to bite the hand that holds the mirror.

• 28:13Speaker 04

  I'm saying just look into it and see what you see in there.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  See what you see and if you don't like it, change it.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  Start with him, Michael Jackson.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  It's not easy. It's a lot of responsibility, holding a mirror up to society like this.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  It is. Okay. We talked about dating and love. I feel like we really captured that. But what else do we need to, cause you know, Mary Beth, well, I do want to say also, you mentioned that you have a podcast ride with Benny Skinner, who's a brilliant comedic mind and a wonderful person and you guys are both friends of mine and I want to let the listeners know that off camera, you were lamenting to me in our brief catch up.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  I had a feeling this was gonna come up.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  You were lamenting to me that you guys have only wanted a few people to come as guests on your show and you have been unable to get them. And of course, that hit me hard because I have not been asked. And I'm, I would comfortably say I'm one of the podcast guests of our generation.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  And that doesn't bring me pleasure. That's just my situation. And so for two of my good friends to not ask me on their podcast and then for one of them actually to come into my home and complain to me that they're not able to get the people that they want on the show. I did want to just give you a chance to clear the air on that.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  Now, all I can say to that is I see you.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  I hear you.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  We're listening.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  And what I then went on to tell you is that we've only tried to get three people.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  And that we certainly have you on our list of people that we want to have on the podcast one day.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  We don't do a lot of guests, but we will. I have a feeling that we will. I can't predict the future. But if I, let's just say if I was betting on Polly Market.

• 29:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  If I was placing a bet.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Which they now want everyone to become gambling addicts in this country and the world. I would put a lot of money on Caleb here and appearing on Ride the Pod.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  Okay, that means the world to me.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  I think it'll be special, but that's not actually what I was trying to get into. What I was trying to get into is the responsibility of the podcaster in today's society.

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Which you and I carry that yoke heavily on our shoulders. And I think part of what we're supposed to be doing here is, you know, fixing society.

• 30:27Speaker 04

  Boggs, today's episode is sponsored by our friends at Ollie Pop. The Super Bowl was this past week and I actually did a really fun event in SF. Do they like when you do SF? I forget. SF is good. I did a really fun event in SF for the Super Bowl with my girl Kylie Kelsey. We played bingo. It was so much fun. We gossiped and I can't tell you what we gossiped about because some of it was private. But we gossiped and by the way, anybody who was at the event will tell you, I predicted, everybody here can attest. I predicted Seahawks by 15 plus. So some are saying I'm a genius.

• 31:02Speaker 04

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• 31:43Speaker 04

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• 33:12Speaker 04

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• 35:08Speaker 03

  I actually have heard myself more saying things that I'm like, why did I have to say that? Like, I could just not say that. I remember I was talking to my ex's friend and he was like, oh, a lot of people say the new Matilda is really good. And I was like, well, you know, they're getting a lot of flack for using a fat suit in that movie.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  And I just said,

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Who fucking cares?

• 35:26Speaker 03

  Why did I say that?

• 35:26Speaker 04

  Who cares?

• 35:27Speaker 03

  Could anything matter less than that?

• 35:29Speaker 04

  I'm saying.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Why would I take away the joy of children liking the movie Matilda by bringing something up that maybe there were a few tweets about? It's like, who cares?

• 35:38Speaker 04

  Do you know what I think? The only way that Hollywood is going to end this fat suit controversy once and for all is to put me in a big one. Like, put me- In a big, I'm talking like bigger than Brendan Fraser in The Whale. I'm talking like, put me in a fat suit that we have never seen before and give me a, it would have to be like Norbit, Rasputia, like bigger than that.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, bigger.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  Like, I would need to do that. We need to like just, once and for all, like in the fat suit controversy.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  It is the fat suit.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  The movie's called Fat Suit and you put me in the biggest fat suit we can find and we just do something awesome. We do like, we do like Austin Powers.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Something radical.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Like when he's like, he does like the, what, Fat Bastard?

• 36:23Speaker 03

  No, I think it's about someone like that who just lives a normal life.

• 36:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  Day to day.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, they tried to do that with The Whale, but they forgot to give him any dignity.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  They had him almost die jerking off to like a pizza.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Eating chicken wings.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  That's, that was kind of, they had a chance to give him just like a normal guy who's like a teacher online. And then they had him ascend into heaven at the end of the movie because he couldn't stop jerking off with pizza. Wait, well, I'm sorry, but I was trying to say earlier, we, as podcast aficionados, we have a responsibility to fix things in the world and I think we, we fixed love and dating.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  Is there anything else that's been on your mind?

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm really thankful to have the platform to talk about this.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:09Speaker 03

  So I don't think it girls should have weddings and if they do, they shouldn't post about them.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  I think weddings are for the proletariat.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  It girls have everything else in the world.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  I think weddings are the one thing that normal girls get.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  They get to feel like a princess for a day. It girls feel like a princess every day.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  I don't need to see them in a white dress, standing in front of a bunch of Rosa Chairs of people in formal wear.

• 37:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  We, we've seen it.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  And so I think if you are gonna do that, it should be no phones. You should have yonder cases.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  All of your guests should lock their phones in yonder cases. It's for family, it's intimate. I don't need to see that.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  And I'm not coming for any one it girl specifically because I saw that a few it girls have had weddings in the past, you know, 12 to 18 months. And it really struck me as like, we're, they're taking something away. And I don't identify as an it girl, but should I reach that status?

• 38:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  I won't have a wedding and post about it.

• 38:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Because I think it's, I think it's, it just doesn't sit right with me.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  If you have more than 750,000 followers on Instagram, it's a courthouse wedding for you.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  It's, it's gonna have to be a courthouse wedding. It's gonna be intimate. Maybe you're not wearing, you're not even wearing shoes, maybe.

• 38:17Speaker 04

  I want the judge's phone in a yonder case.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't want to.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  I don't want documentation to be public.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  I think that's just, that's just, again, an opinion of mine.

• 38:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  And it's just something I've been wanting to speak on without offending anyone because I don't, I don't think that it girls should get offended.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  Can I just go a step further and say that?

• 38:35Speaker 04

  It girls don't have the right to be offended.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  You have everything.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. I do think that as a person who professionally gets attention, I have never been interested in a wedding. Because I think a wedding to me, I'm just like, I don't, why would I do that?

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  If I'm gonna get everyone together, let's do a show.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  I want to do some stand up.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, let me perform.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I completely agree. I think that it's lost its appeal for me. What would feel more subversive is to do something small where it's like all my closest friends and family.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  Do you know what I, here's what I'll say though, just as a fun idea. If we keep allowing it girls to have weddings, they need to do the divorces in the same manner. Dress up, ceremony, phones out, pictures everywhere.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Say like, I would love to take a peek at the prenup.

• 39:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  What are you hiding?

• 39:20Speaker 04

  Publish the prenup. Do you feel that you're at this point in your life, do you feel that you've become unlikable yet to the regular person? Or do you feel still pretty connected?

• 39:28Speaker 03

  I was unlikable before.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  How so?

• 39:30Speaker 03

  I.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  Oh, you grew up pretty.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  I think it's, well, I, and this is gonna make me sound bad too. It's just like the way my face looks.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  People think I'm always gonna be coming in with negative energy, I think.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  And so I've had, yeah, I mean, being, being blonde and having a dog completely changed my relationship with the service industry.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  And I've taken those lessons that I learned from being blonde and I've put them in action as a brunette.

• 39:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  And I, I think that people's, when people see me, they think that that's, they, they just make a lot of assumptions about me, which aren't true because I have a heart of gold. And if you know me, you know that.

• 40:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:08Speaker 03

  But I do think that I'm starting behind the eight ball, as they say with people. I'm, I'm constantly winning people over. I'm not starting with, people are not coming into interactions with me presuming positive intent. They're presuming negative intent.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  You mean to tell me that you genuinely identify as an underdog?

• 40:24Speaker 03

  Unfortunately, I would say, in this, in this current moment, in this current moment, yes.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Unfortunately, it's not possible for me to not identify as the underdog.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  I, I hope we see a change.

• 40:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  I think if I, I think if we were in the nineties right now, I could never get away with saying something like that.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  But in our current moment, yeah.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Nothing is more clear to me than the fact that we're not in the nineties anymore.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  And in some ways, great, whatever, but like, I, I wish that I got to enjoy it a little bit more. Born in 91, I got a taste of it, I got a glimpse.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  But I never really got to like indulge in having like a consciousness at that time.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:00Speaker 03

  So.

• 41:01Speaker 04

  You were born in 91?

• 41:02Speaker 03

  91, yeah.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Sit with that. I'm 34 and I'm not ashamed to say it.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  I just didn't, I, I guess I hadn't put like a number to that, which is, it's genuinely nothing funny about being 34. It's just 91 is like, I've, I guess the feeling I was feeling when I said that was a little bit of jealousy. You got more consciousness in the nineties than I did.

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I never thought that that's something, that I never pictured, I never predicted that would be something I'd feel thankful for.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  But I genuinely am.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  Let's practice some gratitude around that.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  Gratitude.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  Bring it up with the therapist.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  I, I feel like the time that I was born was, as a woman, so interesting because I was raised on, of course, Spice Girls feminism.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  When at the same time, one of my earliest memories is Bill Clinton's press conference about Monica Lewinsky.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  So it's very, it was very confusing, but also then I think created this beautiful, this beautiful mind that I have, that I wouldn't trade for anything.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  Because I love how it works and I have gratitude for that too.

• 41:57Speaker 04

  Well, I love your mind as well. I think you're brilliant. I think you're beautiful.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  I thought, I thought you did an amazing job hosting the Globes, by the way.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  How was that experience?

• 42:05Speaker 03

  I had a great time.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Do you find it difficult to be in those kind of Hollywood rooms where everyone's so upset and emaciated? Or is it more manageable than I would think?

• 42:14Speaker 03

  Well, you know, the question I wanted to ask everyone was, would you rather be happy or skinny?

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  And then go, never mind, I can tell.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Never mind, I know the answer.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  I know. So, yeah, I think that being in those rooms, it can be overwhelming and stressful for a lot of reasons. And I'm, I think, I'm happy that the things that I'm experiencing are happening to me at the age that I'm at. Because even, okay, just to walk you through some of my psychosis.

• 42:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  So I don't have a flat stomach and I never will have a truly flat stomach, the type of flat stomach that you could bounce a quarter off of, okay? And that's something that I have to live with.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  And so at the Golden Globes, I was wearing a dress that from the side, I had like a little, you could just see it wasn't flat. And so in my twenties, if there was footage of me looking like that on the internet, I would have gone into a hole.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  I would have, I would have been so stressed out, depressed, like, oh my God, I just don't like how I look there. And as a 34 year old now, I'm like, that's exposure therapy.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  I'm not a model, I'm a comedian. I don't need to have a flat stomach for work.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  And so it's okay, but from the side, you, there's a little, there's a little tummy.

• 43:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  There's a little tummy bump.

• 43:25Speaker 04

  I'm glad you acknowledged that entire line of thinking as psychosis.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Because it is one of the more psychotic things I've ever heard you say.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  So when-

• 43:32Speaker 04

  For you to say, I'm not a model, as like objectively a model.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  But I'm not.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Mary Beth.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Well, but I'm not bringing this up so you would say this.

• 43:39Speaker 04

  No, no, no, I know that. I love you to death. We have to step back into reality for a moment. The idea that you would even say from the side, I have a little bit of a stomach is like, it is time to root back. I want you to take your socks off and step in grass today. I want you to come back to us. I want you to rejoin us on earth because that's insane.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  It's, it's really scary.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  It's scary and I'm not saying it's your fault, but it's scary stuff.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  But, well, because you said emaciated, so I just wanted to speak to that a little bit.

• 44:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  For the, describing the other people in the room.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  Well, so many people in those rooms are like, they're getting, they're getting thin to a point that I'm like, uh oh. And they're also, everyone in those spaces is vibrating like a tuning fork with the pressure of trying to seem cool when they're deeply uncool.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  They like want to win a trophy so bad that they are like, would genuinely, genuinely, whether they admit it or not, they, they would poison every other nominee to death to get that trophy.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  And that is an energy that being around it is like very, very psychotic. And you really did such a good job at making it lighthearted and funny.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  I think I really wanted to just match people's energy and that was the goal. And I did 50 interviews and some of them won't come out for various reasons, whatever they may be.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  People's publicists said that they couldn't.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  People's publicists said that they couldn't. But I think it's, it was, it was, it was really fun for me. I genuinely had a great time and what I wanted to do was make people feel comfortable to the point. I wanted to make people feel comfortable by asking them questions that they didn't necessarily need an answer to, or giving them multiple choice, just because now that I've been on the other end of some of those interviews, I'm like, if you ask me how I feel in a certain moment, that's such a complicated question. And it's hard to answer without sounding like a fucking idiot, to be frank. So we wanted to create a back and forth that felt like there was no pressure on the person to be funny. We're going to have it be sort of lighthearted and silly. And if there was ever a lull, I just have another question for them.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  And I had, I had a lot of fun and the response was really lovely and wonderful. And so, but it was one of those things too, where I was like, when are they going to turn on me?

• 45:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Because they're going to turn on me and I just don't know when.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  Well, this is the big question we all have to contend with, by the way.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, and that was scary, but I, I had, yeah, it was great. I really, I couldn't feel the bottom of my feet for a few days because I was standing in heels for that long. But yeah, I had fun.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  You did a really phenomenal job and you bring up something so important, which is that publicists, as it stands, are a protected group in this country. And they, we need to open up at least the conversation and idea of discriminating against them.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Remove protected status for publicists.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Publicists are some of the most insidious and dark figures. And I want my publicists to tune out right now, just log off for a moment. We'll let you know when it's safe to tune back in.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  I love you guys. You do great work. But publicists as a class of people are some of the most horrendous, like upsetting people I've ever had to interact with.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  I want to say too, there were some that we didn't put out. There were only two that got held for publicist reasons.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  And then the rest were either creative decisions or just like, you know, at a certain point, if you just keep posting, like people will just be like, okay, we get it.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:40Speaker 03

  Okay. We've seen it now.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  We got the interviews.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  There are some we're going to release as, as time goes on and in a timely manner.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  That makes sense. But yeah, there was a publicist lounge in the hotel.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  I

• 46:51Speaker 03

  And it had a sign that says public. It has a sign that says publicist lounge. And when I walked by, I had a chill.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Sponsored by the biggest purses you've ever seen, by the way.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  Oh, the biggest purses and Purdue Pharmaceuticals.

• 47:03Speaker 04

  By the way.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:04Speaker 04

  Really, really, yeah. Publicist, also, I want to tell public figures, please stop hiding behind your publicist. Stop it. It's not working. Your agents and managers and publicists being mean to everyone on your behalf and then you showing up and being like, hey, how is everyone? It's not working. We know that you're involved.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  We know that you're not unaware of, we know that you were sending a text being like, tell them I'm leaving in 45 fucking minutes. I don't want to be here. The like, my team will be the bad guy so I can show up and be the nice guy thing. If anyone listening to this as a public figure, I just want you to know it's not working.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  And I am assigning the way your team treats people to your ethics.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  From here on out. That's where I'm going with it because it's not working and I hate it. Publicist has to come to records of this show and I say, you can stand on the street and wait.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  You cannot interrupt me ever while I'm talking.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  One of those things, sit in a police van.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Get one of the things that you can hear what we're saying.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  And then you can talk about it after.

• 47:56Speaker 04

  And there won't be a communication line coming back to us.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  No, certainly not.

• 48:00Speaker 04

  If a publicist ever interrupts me during a thought, I am really scared. I think I would blackout and do something really bad.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Something, something really, really bad.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  Really, really, really bad.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  I, I haven't, we haven't interacted with that many publicists because we don't have guests on our podcast. But I can imagine, and I will say there was minimal publicist intervention at the Golden Globes. Like, I do think people felt safe that if they needed to, they could step in, but like, didn't, you know, interfere with the back and forth.

• 48:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  But there is just, yeah, there is something to be said for that. And I do love my publicists, of course, because they have hearts of gold, just like.

• 48:36Speaker 04

  My publicists are some of the kindest people I've ever met in my life.

• 48:39Speaker 03

  But yeah, I, I agree with you. I don't think it's working.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  I just, the thing you said, like, people felt comfortable, they felt safe knowing they could jump in. I want to create an environment of fear where they know they can't. You cannot jump in. Your client is an adult and they can speak to me, another adult, and make choices about the way they. You cannot step into me having a conversation ever. Do not ever interrupt me. I just really don't have any tolerance for it. We're two adults having a conversation in public and our job is being in public.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  I think they can handle the repercussions of slipping up on a word.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  And by the way, we want everyone to look good in that situation.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  I don't want to make anyone look bad.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  So we were being extremely thoughtful as well in the edit of like, oh, let's cut this part. Cause it like, it dragged a little bit or like that one didn't land or whatever it is like. We don't want to make these celebrities look like fools. And by the way, we could.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Depends on which one.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Well, yeah.

• 49:30Speaker 04

  For me, it depends on which one. I don't know. It depends.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, the whole, just the being consumed by the public. Do you ever get stressed by it or do you feel like you're at peace with it?

• 49:41Speaker 04

  Uh, in which part? What do you mean?

• 49:43Speaker 03

  Just constantly being, I guess the, this idea of like, you're, even when we're having this conversation, people are consuming us on the internet.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Does that ever stress you out?

• 49:52Speaker 04

  I have tried my very, of course, I've tried my very best to tune out of as much as possible. It will rot your brain. But I think more broadly than, I also really hope that when people listen to this show and we sometimes talk about what it's like to be perceived online. I hope everyone knows that we're, it's not separate from what we're all experiencing. Like this is actually a universal conversation. We all are contending with the stresses and repercussions of living in a time where we are living in the Panopticon. Every one of us, even who are not famous or have podcasts or standups or whatever. Every one of us is living in a time in society where we're all being watched all the time.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 04

  And we all have to contend with that. So if it ever feels, uh, yeah, I just want everyone to like, know that these conversations are actually about all of us. And I'm just talking from my unique lens on it.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  But we all live in this really fucked up time where everyone's watching us all the time. And there's always a phone and a camera trained on all of us.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  I mean, there's three cameras on us right now.

• 50:46Speaker 04

  Right. And, and you came on purpose to do this. That's crazy.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  I know.

• 50:49Speaker 04

  But when you were walking down the street, there were probably hundreds of cameras on you. Like, yeah, it's a really crazy time to live in. And I think as little as you can think about. That is helpful because it's really not natural what's happening to us. We weren't supposed to be known by this many people.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I just to also say, I am really grateful gratitude.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  I'm grateful for the audience that I have and I, I think I liked, I like to be thoughtful about what I say because I don't want to let them down, you know, like they've trusted me and they, they're supporting me. And so I just want to like do right by them all the time. And so I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining at all because we got into this knowing full well what it entails. And obviously we're learning new things about what it's like to, to do this for a job every day. But I do have a lot of gratitude and I, I just want to like do, I want to use the platform for good and, and for entertainment.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  But I just don't want it to ever feel like I'm complaining because like every opportunity that I have, I, I'm thankful for. Even being on this podcast, it's an honor to be asked back.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  You're grateful to be on So True Podcast?

• 51:53Speaker 03

  This is, I'm being, I'm being so genuine right now. And being earnest, this is another thing people have struggled with, with me is they can't tell when I'm being earnest.

• 51:59Speaker 04

  That's because your cadence remains the same.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  I know, and I'm really sorry about that.

• 52:02Speaker 04

  No, don't be sorry. I'm just telling you why.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  I'm just expressing, not me. I love you and I feel very, I'm comfortable and open with you.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  But people think I'm constantly being facetious when I'm not.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, uh, I'm grateful, I'm grateful for so many things. You know what I actually was thinking of recently? I really do practice gratitude a lot, like as an actual practice, like sitting down and legitimately thinking about things I'm grateful for, that I can walk, that I can see, that I can speak, um, that, yeah, that I have like a financial situation that is so much better than like when, when I was growing up. I think about all these things. But recently I read something that has been sticking with me so much on Substack. I'm loving Substack. Can I just say, are you on Substack?

• 52:42Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:42Speaker 04

  Get on Substack, girl.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Really?

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Substack is so special to me. It's what finally encouraged me to get rid of TikTok. No offense to the TikTok lovers. Thank you guys for watching the videos and sharing them.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:53Speaker 04

  But I don't, I was not having fun on TikTok. I didn't enjoy it. Substack is awesome. Substack is so fun. People are writing really great stuff on there. The, the notes function on Substack is feeling so. It's the first thing that has come close to making me feel like Twitter used to feel before it got awful.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:10Speaker 04

  Twitter used to be amazing and I feel so bad for people that don't know that.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  I know.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Early Twitter was so incredible. Um, but yeah, people are writing and it's a lot of fun. And I'm reading lots of good stuff on there. Um, but Substack, I read something about, someone was writing about, they have a, um, they have a family member who is schizophrenic. And they were writing about how they had never, their, their, their family member, I guess, developed schizophrenia or their symptoms changed or something, but their mind wasn't always, um, so impacted by schizophrenia.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  And they were talking about the amount of gratitude they've started practicing around like having a sound mind, a mind that can like reason and make sense of things and isn't lying to them or playing tricks on them. And I like really had never considered that in my gratitude practice. But it is actually, when I get down to it, the thing I am the most grateful for.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  Is that I have a mind that I can trust. And that doesn't mean like, I don't even mean that I'm smart. I mean, I have a mind that isn't like, it isn't playing voices that aren't there. It isn't telling me lies. It isn't like trying to destroy me all the time. It was in my twenties. In my early twenties, it was trying to destroy me with depression, but my mind is sound.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? And that is like, so now I've been trying to find new things to be grateful for that I've never considered. And it's hard because most of them are just like the things you'd think of, like my friends in my house.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Yeah. You're, you're sort of selling me on Substack because I love the idea of finding things like that that then are resonating with me. And I don't really feel like I have a place for that right now. Like when I see things on TikTok that I like, it's usually like fan edits of, like I posted one that was like, that feeling when a guy says you scare him, you know, and it's basketball players, um, making their shots.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:47Speaker 03

  Um, I would love to, I would love to have my brain sort of stimulated by some more, um, substantial thoughts, like what you're describing. And I am, I am thankful for my, my sound mind. I think one thing I haven't spoken about that much, which I'm sure I will speak on it more as I've like processed it. My dad had dementia toward the end of his life and just watching, watching him. Be able to trust his mind less and less. I I've definitely been feeling more grateful for my health. Yeah, it's just about gratitude. And and hey, you're grateful for Substack.

• 55:20Speaker 04

  I am grateful for Substack.

• 55:21Speaker 03

  You're grateful for that beautiful mind of yours.

• 55:23Speaker 04

  I really do love Substack. I also had a huge, uh, I I had started, when I started Substack, it was because I was ending my relationship with Patreon. And me and Patreon had to call it quits.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  You're gonna say something else.

• 55:35Speaker 04

  I was ending my relationship with a real person.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  With your boyfriend.

• 55:38Speaker 04

  Instead of a platform. No, I was ending, we were moving over to Substack from Patreon. Really, nothing against Patreon. They were lovely and it was a great platform, but just Substack offered more of what we needed.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  But we had made, like, we had told the fans what our Substack was gonna be like. And then I very quickly got overwhelmed by the amount of things that needed to happen. And I had to, like, do something very difficult and and be like, hey, that it's actually not gonna go like that. I have to pull back in some of these things I can't do.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:03Speaker 04

  And I was really scared because I I take, like, I take very seriously people's money and attention. People's money and attention is very, very, very important to me. I don't fuck around about my shows being good. I don't fuck around about people getting their money's worth. I try to pay people very well. I try, like, I I'm very serious about people's money and attention.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  And I I don't ever want someone to feel like I'm cashing in on them or, like, taking advantage. And everyone was, like, so sweet and lovely and understanding. It was in the, it was during last year where I had, like, the most psychotic work year of my life.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  Thank God, I'm so grateful. I loved everything I did. Except for one thing.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Tell me after.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  We can talk about it off camera.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  But, yeah, I I it was so nice to, like, have, um, I just felt, uh, so endeared to my little community on Substack that was so, like, kind to me.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Well, that's a reflection of the base that you've built, which I'm grateful for with our podcast listeners as well, because they obviously know who you are as a person. And it's a reflection of of, yeah, like, you're, you are, you're the magnet for those people. And I think that's when I'm really proud to have the fans that I have. And it feels weird to say fans, but like, you know, the audience that I have. It's when I do shows and I invite other comedians on and they're like, wow, your crowds are so great. Like, they're so attentive, they're locked in, they're laughing. It's like, so they're the most fun shows. And it's because that's like what you're putting out.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  So I think that it's, did anyone send you mean messages?

• 57:33Speaker 04

  Uh, no, some people canceled their subscription, which I, we said, like, please get a refund if you need to do that. We're still offering a lot. We offer ad-free episodes and stuff on there. Like, it's not like we took everything away. But there were people that did cancel their thing, but they were very nice. And that, that's appropriate. Money's tight. Do what you need to do.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:49Speaker 04

  But they're like, hey, I love you. I just can't justify paying for this if I'm not getting the thing I love. They loved like the bonus interviews or whatever. And I was like, good for you. Like, there's no part of me that's like, fuck you. They were so nice about it. But the thing about audiences being nice, I, Chance and I, every venue we went to on tour last year, the venue staff would like tell us, like, your fans are the nicest people we have ever interacted with.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Respectful.

• 58:12Speaker 04

  And it like made us cry. Like, it was so emotional and sweet because we feel that. Like, we do feel that, like, we, like, nice people like our stuff and our, our, our fans treat venue staff well. They tip. They like are polite and courteous and they follow the rules and are like-

• 58:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're conscientious.

• 58:30Speaker 04

  They're nice people.

• 58:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:31Speaker 04

  And it made me, it's probably the proudest, if I'm like proud of anything that I did last year, probably the proudest moments were like venue staff telling us that our fans were the nicest people that come in the building.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  It means a lot.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  And the fact that, yeah, it's, it's sort of a cycle because the fact that we would care about something like that, I think is why. You know what I mean?

• 58:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  Just people that are thoughtful and caring. And so I, I think if gratitude is the theme, then I'm feeling it.

• 58:55Speaker 04

  You're feeling gratitude?

• 58:55Speaker 03

  That's what I have to say.

• 58:56Speaker 04

  Are you happy? Be honest.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  I am not.

• 59:02Speaker 04

  Really?

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Not all the time. I have moments.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  Yeah. I, I guess I mean, when I say that, I don't think there's such a thing as a happy person. Like, capital H, it's a thing you are. But I mean, do you feel yourself experiencing a lot of happiness lately or are we working on it?

• 59:13Speaker 03

  We're working on it.

• 59:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:15Speaker 03

  I think one thing that was hard about the Globes for me was like, I went home and I was by myself. Like, I really want to be in a relationship. I want to be in love. I want to build a life with someone. So- To leave something that was so much stimulation and feel like, oh my God, that was so fun. And then you go home and like, no one's caring for me right now. And maybe that's important for my growth. And then when I meet the person, I'll be better because I'll know myself better about whatever, whatever. You know, you know, all that crap.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, stupid shit.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  Stupid bullshit. That's dumb that we tell ourselves to make it hurt less. But I think that, yeah, that's, that's sort of the big hole in my life right now. And I'm trying to be comfortable with that, but it is hard. It's like, I want someone to hold me and tell me I did a good job and rub my back. And, you know, I have a list of what I'm looking for in my next partner. I'll share it with you after this, if you're interested.

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  Please do.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  But it's, I'm, I just want to be more, um, I guess, like, yeah, thoughtful about who I engage with in the future. And that's why I'm taking this break right now. I just need to really focus on, on work, which focusing on work does make me happy. And when things are happening with work, I feel, I feel those moments of joy. I would love to be fulfilled in, in that area, but it's just not, that it's just not the time for that right now. For whatever reason.

• 1:00:31Speaker 04

  I, yeah, I think the big, uh, challenge in life for everybody is like, a piece will probably always be missing. Like, I think we, I think we all have to come to terms with like, the fact that a piece will always be missing. The equation will never be completely perfect.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 04

  This thing will fall into place, that thing will shift out of place. There will always be something that could be better.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  I'll tell, yeah, there will always be something that could be better. And that is so hard because the, I think the hardest part about trying to be a person who's happy more often than they're not, is like, we have to, yeah, we have to figure out, because same, I want, you know, I want to be in like a loving, happy relationship, et cetera.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have to just, we, we have to be like, okay, it'll happen when it happens.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  It'll happen when it happens. And I, I guess I, I don't know, the people, it's so hard. You're like, oh, people listen to this and do that, or think this, or whatever. But like, I'm just being honest. I guess I'm, I've always just led with honesty and that's just how I'm feeling right now. It's like, I want a partner. And I'm looking at my life and where I, where I am at 34 is not where I thought I'd be in my like, personal life, but. And people are always like, we have all these great friends and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, well, I'm not going to bring my 12 best friends as my date to a wedding, am I?

• 1:01:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  So don't, don't come to me with that bullshit. Yes, of course. And I've put so much into my friendships and my friends really showed up for me in a beautiful way last year, like you included. I had a very difficult year and I'm so grateful for that, but like, it's not the same as someone who's gonna like, wake up next to me and kiss me with morning breath and go get a coffee for me so I can sleep longer.

• 1:02:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like, my friends aren't doing that and I would never expect them to.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  I will say, I took a pretty big swing when you called me about your dad passing.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  I know. I know.

• 1:02:14Speaker 04

  You, I took a big swing. You called me crying and I said, first of all, relax.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  You should calm down.

• 1:02:19Speaker 04

  Stop being dramatic.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  And I, the, the, the millisecond it took to hear your laughter was one of the scariest moments of my life.

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  I hope that you feel the comfortability to do that for the rest of our friendship until we're 90.

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  I do.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  And.

• 1:02:32Speaker 04

  But then at 90, I need to tighten up.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  At 90, I think you should maybe pull it back a little bit.

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  And just be a little bit more respectful and serious.

• 1:02:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  But yeah, it's, it's, it's tough. Cause I guess they, as they say, I think this was from Sex and the City, but maybe someone came up with it before and Carrie Bradshaw stole it. But you're always looking in New York, as a woman in New York, you're always looking for a job, a boyfriend or an apartment.

• 1:02:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  So I, yeah, where I'm at right now is that, I am passively looking for an apartment, but, and, and it could be a girlfriend too.

• 1:03:00Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  It's 2026.

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  Hello, let's say that.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Where's my G flip?

• 1:03:03Speaker 04

  Where, I want you to find your G flip so bad.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  I want my G flip.

• 1:03:07Speaker 04

  We did your show True, It Girls Should Not Be Having Weddings, but you know, we have to play true or false.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  Great, let's do it.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  You know we do, it's the last thing. Uh, I'm gonna read you 15 statements, Mary Beth Barone, and you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can after each one, if you think what I just said is true or false, if you get 10 or more correct, I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars. Are you ready?

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  Cool, yeah.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  Bath and Body Works was founded in 2000.

• 1:03:24Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  False, 1990. There's an active volcano in Colorado.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:03:28Speaker 04

  True. Squids have beaks.

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  True. Boston College's motto is look to the heavens.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  That is false.

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  False, it is. Ever to excel.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  That's what I was gonna say if you didn't say it.

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. Mercury is the only planet in the solar system with no moons.

• 1:03:42Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:03:42Speaker 04

  False. It's Mercury and Venus. Lizzie McGuire ran for two seasons.

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  True. No US president has ever been without a first lady.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  False. James Buchanan. Bulls are colorblind.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:03:54Speaker 04

  True. West Hill High School's newspaper is called The Hiller.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  That is false.

• 1:03:58Speaker 04

  It's called The Westward. Dan Marino played his whole career with the Miami Dolphins.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:05Speaker 04

  True. Sam Sung means three stars in Korean.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  I can't speak on that.

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  I won't answer.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  You have to answer.

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:04:15Speaker 04

  It's true. Aunt Queens can live up to 30 years.

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  Aunt Queens can live up to 34 years, cuz I am one.

• 1:04:24Speaker 04

  What are you going with?

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  You better pick a true or false.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  It is true. Protestants are the largest Christian denomination.

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  Ooh, true.

• 1:04:32Speaker 04

  False. It's Catholics. The Connecticut State.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  But I left.

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  They left.

• 1:04:35Speaker 04

  That's true. I wanna talk to you about that, by the way.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:04:38Speaker 04

  The Connecticut, the Connecticut State Anthem is Yankee Doodle.

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:04:42Speaker 04

  True. Kathy Bates is an EGOT winner.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  False. How'd she do? 11. Wow, let's go.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  Rock and roll. I want my 50.

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  That's huge. You'll be getting it. Uh, Mary Beth, tell the people where they can find you, what they should do to support.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  You can find me at Mary Beth Barone on all social platforms, and I'm touring. There's a few tickets left in Dallas and a few in Providence, but they might be gone by the time this comes out, so you better, you better act fast.

• 1:05:09Speaker 04

  You better hope.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  You better invent a time machine and act fast.

• 1:05:12Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 1:05:13Speaker 03

  You can also find me as the co-host of Ride the Podcast, which by the time this comes out, we will be on a hiatus between seasons three and four, but you can always go back and listen from the first episode.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  And you should.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  And you should, and you can watch Overcompensating on Prime Video.

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  You can.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  You can.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  And you can text Benny and tell him to put me in season two, because he asked me, he asked me at Union Hall if I would come back for season two.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  Hypothetically, I said, Benny, of course I would.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  I told him that, too.

• 1:05:38Speaker 04

  Make CJ some psychotic little arc for one episode.

• 1:05:41Speaker 03

  Please.

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  What are we talking about?

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Also, I will, I will have a Netflix special at some point this year, so look out for that.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, you will. Love you. Thanks for doing it.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

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• 1:06:47Speaker 05

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