Grace Kuhlenschmidt Returns

Welcome! This week’s guest is the hilarious Grace Kuhlenschmidt! Grace and Caleb talk about the pains of moving to New York, the math that goes into Time Zones, coming out, fedoras, and much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Grace! @gkuhlenschmidt Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:59Speaker 02

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• 1:30Speaker 03

  Wave.

• 1:33Speaker 04

  People who work in real estate, many of them need to go to prison.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  Many of them are doing unfathomable crimes.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  And I will completely agree with you and even add, my mom's a real estate agent.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  Totally. And I don't know how she's doing her business.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  I don't know if she absolutely... She needs to be locked up.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  We have an, we have an episode recording this week at 8 a.m. And Ike, for two weeks, I've been looking out on the calendar, like, something has to give.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  No, like, how are you gonna do that?

• 2:04Speaker 04

  Something that people do every day, might you? Go to their job at 8 a.m.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  I had a thought today where I was like, okay, Caleb wants me there at 11 a.m., which means I need to be ready at 10 30, need to leave at 10 30, which means I need to be up by 10, which means I need to be up in the nines.

• 2:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. Wow. Wow. I'm up in the nines.

• 2:25Speaker 03

  I have to be up in the nines to do something not till the 11th?

• 2:28Speaker 04

  See, you've changed and lost touch. You've changed and lost touch. Cause the grace I knew.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, she was up.

• 2:35Speaker 04

  She was in the mines.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  She wasn't sleeping.

• 2:37Speaker 04

  At 5 a.m.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  No way.

• 2:38Speaker 04

  You've changed.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  You think?

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Don't you think? And this is only one such example. I have many more.

• 2:42Speaker 03

  Oh, really? What are the other examples?

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Oh, the way you talk to service workers.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  So honestly, I've always done that. I have, oh, I've been so fucking consistent with that.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  That's not new. That's not new.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  That's when you work in the service industry, you know it's all inside jokes.

• 2:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  When you say, "I'm not tipping."

• 3:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, when you, but you screamed, like, "Where's my fucking ranch?"

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Right. But baby, you've had ranch.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  You know why someone would get so emotional about it.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  The idea of you defending that story, being like, well, come on, where's my ranch?

• 3:16Speaker 03

  It's ranch.

• 3:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:18Speaker 03

  It's not ketchup.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  There's a really nice guy, there's a really nice guy who, that actually, by the way, what you said wasn't untrue. Ranch over ketchup, because ketchup, they just leave on the table. Ranch, they have to bring out.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  So it is a different thing.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  And they get weird about it too. And it's like, I, I know it's a bottle back there. Like, it's not homemade.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Bring it out.

• 3:36Speaker 03

  Because I would hate if it were homemade.

• 3:38Speaker 04

  I don't like homemade stuff.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  I don't need that.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  There's a guy that works at the coffee shop that I go into a lot. He's really sweet. But he's so, I love this. I think I'm the problem here. He's so cheery. And he's like, I walk in, he's like, "Morning, Caleb. What are we thinking for the holidays?" And, and like, no, and I love it. And I'm like, that is correct. It is ultimately like, I have become like a, until I've had my coffee, kind of person.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  As I've gotten a little older. And I don't like that. That's humiliating. But it really is like forcing me very early in the morning every day to like, think about what kind of person I want to be.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Absolutely. Because I like to think I'm a morning person in the way that like, I feel better when I'm up in the morning.

• 4:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  But like, no part of me has ever wanted to wake up, like, ever. Ever.

• 4:24Speaker 04

  Ever.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  I can't think of a single day in my life besides like, let's be real, Christmas morning, that I have been like, it's, I want to get out of bed.

• 4:33Speaker 04

  I'll own it, Christmas morning.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  I'm thirty years old and I'm still like, I've never wanted to get up out of bed except for Christmas morning.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Just the way that it is.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:42Speaker 04

  What's the best Christmas gift you think you've ever gotten?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Do you have two and a half hours for me to stare into space and think?

• 4:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  Okay, this actually isn't a gift that I got.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  Okay, that's okay.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  So it's actually, do you mind if I don't answer your question really quick?

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Okay, cool.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  I couldn't care, I couldn't care.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  You're so chill about those kinds of things.

• 5:08Speaker 04

  I'm not like one of those guys.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  Okay, so, this is obviously, like I just said, not a gift I got, but my neighbors got. My neighbors got electric scooters when I was in third grade.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  Tough.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  And that was actually, they were my friends.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  So I got to use those scooters and that weirdly was for me, the best Christmas gift I ever got, because my parents would have never, ever gotten that for me.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  I was sad for you at first because I was like, they got scooters and you didn't, but I never thought about what community could look like.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  No, it was, seriously, it was so, so beautiful.

• 5:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. And by the way, I just want to say, these were Hanukkah gifts for them.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  So this was really like, they had just-

• 5:45Speaker 04

  So they got eight of them?

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, they did.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  They got eight scooters?

• 5:50Speaker 03

  See, this guy really knows Hanukkah, it's true.

• 5:52Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 5:53Speaker 04

  I wish I was Jewish.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  But I'm like, they really got gifts, like banger of gift after banger of gift.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  Really?

• 5:58Speaker 03

  It was amazing.

• 6:00Speaker 04

  See, I really was, my, my first kind of foray into cultural competence, was when I was like, like cultural appreciation, was that when I was a kid and I learned that Hanukkah had eight gifts, I was like, wow. Other people might be on to something as well.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 6:16Speaker 04

  It can't only be Christianity.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 6:18Speaker 04

  That really was eye opening for me.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 04

  They get eight days of gifts.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  I mean, completely.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  There's other ways to think out there.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Well, also, it's like, I do feel like opening more than a couple gifts on one day is completely exhausting.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  Oh, it's garish.

• 6:32Speaker 03

  Nobody needs that.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  It's base.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Even when I go to a birthday, like an adult birthday dinner.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  And, you know, we hand our little whatever to the birthday person. Usually, I'm not handing, to be honest, I'm pretty bad at giving birthday gifts. But that's because I didn't grow up with birthday gifts. Anyways, when people open and we're all sitting around the dinner table, I'm kind of like, this person needs to be doing this on their own time, big time.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  I don't want to be watching this.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Big time.

• 6:59Speaker 04

  I don't want to be watching you receive gifts.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  No.

• 7:02Speaker 04

  You know what I do want to watch? If I write someone a sweet note and they read it in front of me.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  I'm into that.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  Which is like.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  With you kind of, they're reading the note and your mouth is just kind of going along with it?

• 7:15Speaker 04

  And the way that you, yeah. Are you to the part, yeah.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, reread that line, I feel like you stumbled over a word.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  Yeah. Read that part back. Yeah. Wow, don't cry, don't cry.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Is there like a best note you've ever written, you think?

• 7:30Speaker 04

  Oh, my goodness gracious. Um, oh, my goodness gracious, me oh my.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  A best note I've ever written?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  Do you know what? I wrote and then did not send a fuck you note to one of my former bosses, who like fired me from a day job that I had.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 7:52Speaker 04

  Like, two years later, I had a really big career, like, win, and I wrote a, there was like a publication in a magazine about it.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Oh, my god, I'm obsessed.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  And I wrote a note on the publication being like, um, working for you was a nightmare, thank you so much for firing me.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  And, and I, and then I like autographed the thing, and I got this close to putting it in the mail, and then I was like, hey, so instead, why don't you like, check in on yourself? Like I was like, instead of sending this to this person who is a bitch, why don't you go outside and like, look at the sky or something? Cause you will clearly have a problem. I mean, it was in that moment that I was like, you need to do some reflection.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  No, I mean, I've completely thought about like, if I ever win a Grammy one day, maybe I will say like, I love my parents, I love my friends and fuck you to like, these few people. But it really is like, whoa, that's really, we're getting hot.

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Inside.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Anger is taking over.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  Hey, you're holding on to something weirdly.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's weird, it's weird to, it's weird to have a moment of what should be joy for you.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  And allow it to be infiltrated by people you don't like.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Right.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  Why would you do that?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  Because we're hot heads and we always have been.

• 9:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, we always, that's me and you. We're fucking flying off the handle. We don't play by the book.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Right, right, right. The moment these mics go down, my arm is just crossing right over you.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're gonna hit me?

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:19Speaker 04

  Fuck. Okay.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  If you don't hit me first.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  No, it's great. If you hit me, I'll come.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  Oh, awesome.

• 9:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  We haven't talked about hooking up in a long time.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  I know, but you know what is hard about your podcast?

• 9:33Speaker 04

  What's up?

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Is that you treat every girl the same.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Fuck.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  You're very open about the chemistry that you have with every single female comedian in the world. Specifically lesbians.

• 9:49Speaker 04

  I know. There's something going on.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  With me and lesbians. What is it? I wish we could get to the bottom of it.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  I know. But you know what is so funny? Like, I love that you love lesbians so much and I like, it wouldn't even be possible for a lesbian to love gay guys as much.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 10:05Speaker 04

  No, it makes sense.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Like, I, I know, I see the path, I see the love like radiate from you on to lesbians.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  And it couldn't go the other way. It could go to you, but to gay guys in general, the way that you are able to, no, couldn't happen.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  I know, because the thing about gay guys is, I love us, I love gay guys, I love being a gay guy, I love gay guys.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  We are, at the end of the day. Men.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  That's the thing.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  And so it's tough, like, if you find yourself, like, standing a group of men, it's like, whoa.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  I know.

• 10:39Speaker 04

  It's not a cute look.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  No, I know.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  In this day and age.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  I remember years ago, I posted some video, like, making fun of gay guys. And this gay guy, like, responded, like, classic lesbians being homophobic. And I was like, I'm pretty sure you're a man, and if that's what I'm joking about.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  I'm not joking about the fact that you're gay.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Pretty sure I'm, yeah, pretty sure I'm making fun of you for being a boy.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  I'm not saying, like, and by the way, butt sex?

• 11:11Speaker 03

  What a fucking stupid thing. Like, what are you talking about?

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  So.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  I'll never criticize you.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  I know.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  I never have.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  I don't think I could even deserve it.

• 11:23Speaker 04

  I just wouldn't do that to you.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  I don't know what you could possibly criticize me about anyway.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, my god. Do you want to hear something that's been making me sick?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Okay. I was out with my friends the other day, beautiful couple. Beautiful heterosexual couple. We don't hold it against them. They found love. In a hopeless place.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  They are a beautiful heterosexual couple who I love deeply. I won't say their names, just, you know, to be nice.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Michelle and Brock?

• 11:52Speaker 04

  Yes. M and B is all I'll say, but they were stressed out because they're building a library in Chicago right now, and...

• 12:01Speaker 04

  No, they, I was with my beautiful straight couple friends, and, um, I'm gonna throw up. I asked them how they met. They have a beautiful relationship. They're so great together. I asked them how they met. They, like, bumped into each other, reading books in a coffee shop, and started, like, making fun of what the other person was reading. And then, and then she left the coffee shop, and then a woman across from, that was sitting across from them, turns to the guy and goes, "You idiot, why didn't you get her number?"

• 12:28Speaker 03

  No.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  He, like, runs out to catch her, can't find her, she's gone. And then a couple of days later, they, like, bump into each other on a train station.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  They bump into each other, I'm gonna throw up. They bump into each other on a train station, they start dating. It's raining when they get out of the train, so they have to step into a bodega. They exchange numbers, they start dating, they're now happily married.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  I will kill myself before I ever hear a story like that again.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 13:00Speaker 04

  My life means nothing.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  I have nothing.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  That's a meet cute in a movie where you're watching the movie and you're going, that's not realistic.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  That's why that's fucked up.

• 13:11Speaker 04

  It's fucked up.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  It's because I would see that and go, that never happens.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  And when it does, like, I've had meet cutes where I meet someone and I'm like, oh my God, this is such a cute way to meet. And then it turns out to be like, it's not the perfect, for your meet cute to happen, your cutest meet cute to happen with your person. Like, I've had a meet cute and then you go on a couple of dates and you're like, oh, the, the meeting was cuter than the.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Cause it grounds you.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Brings you back to reality.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  But then this couple, which, who they sound amazing and I'm sure they are.

• 13:41Speaker 04

  Again.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  But they, yeah, that's the problem.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  They've never touched.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  They think everything is perfect.

• 13:45Speaker 04

  They're floating 10 feet high all the time. Yeah, I just don't like when that kind of stuff happens to other people.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Right. No.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  It's not right.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  That's not right at all.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  It's not right.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  God.

• 13:56Speaker 04

  And they're perfect for each other.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  I don't like, I don't even know if I've ever even had meet cutes. I feel like almost all, every, and I'm talking in broad range when I say relationship. Every relationship I've had, pretty much has started from some sort of mistake or fuck up on my end.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  It's almost all been like, I'm tumbling down a flight of stairs.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Okay. Tell me about that.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  That's just like how, like, I'm just like, nothing cool has ever happened to me in that way. The moment we kiss, then I can be cool as fuck. Then I'm like, I got this. Yeah, like, it's done, deal.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:30Speaker 03

  And now I can be cool.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  But like, the way that it begins is always me being like, sending typos in our first few texts and being like, fuck, sorry. Oh, fuck, sorry.

• 14:40Speaker 04

  You're saying fuck, sorry a lot. First five texts, like, fuck, sorry.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Fucking up the you, your, your, you know what I mean?

• 14:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. Who are you in your relationship? Like, what are you?

• 14:49Speaker 03

  My current relationship.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  What do you, what role do you play in the relationship, do you think?

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Honestly, I, I play stay at home mom, even though I'm the breadwinner.

• 14:57Speaker 04

  See, this is, but, but the way that you, see, okay, stay at home mom, even though you're the breadwinner.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  What is giving stay at home mom?

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Like, I will cook, I will clean, um, I will, I'm.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Practically unemployed, even though I do have a full-time job. But that's like the entertainment industry, you know what I mean? It's like when I'm working, like, working really hard, I'm an actor. You know what I mean?

• 15:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  So, you know, I might be working multiple days in a row.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  But it's not gonna compare to anyone else's jobs.

• 15:31Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  But I will say, like, since I was a kid, like, I always remember seeing stay-at-home moms and being like, "That does look fucking sick."

• 15:43Speaker 04

  It's a good gig.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  Oh, my god, heaven.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  It's a good gig, yeah.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  Heaven on earth.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  Not to say it's not difficult. Stay-at-home mom community, get out of the comments before you even get in there. It's difficult, it's labor.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Oh, of course.

• 15:54Speaker 04

  But it's a sweet gig.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  They're working.

• 15:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  They're working the kids.

• 15:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're working.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  But they're working in their house.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:01Speaker 04

  In pajamas, and that's lovely.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  I also do that, and I'm very lucky.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love that shit.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Right, that's the other thing, is like, there are times I don't need to, I mean, I could not leave the house for a full week at a time, almost.

• 16:12Speaker 04

  Really?

• 16:13Speaker 03

  That's the way my job goes.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I get depressed quick.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Well, I do too, but that's not like, that's what's getting me out of the house, you know what I mean? I need an external factor to get me out of the house.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Like what, what works the best?

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Usually work.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 04

  Nice. My work often won't take me out of the house unless it's to come, I mean, I guess that's not true. I just mean like on a day-to-day, when I have free time, there's nothing, like, any work that I need to do that can be done from home, writing emails, whatever the fuck.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  Will be done from.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  Can be done from home. If I stay home alone for more than twenty-six hours.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Uh-huh.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm, I'm going to a dark place.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:54Speaker 04

  And it's not that I don't like spending time with myself, I just need to like, spend time with myself at the park.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  At the grocery store.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 17:01Speaker 04

  At the apartment.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 04

  Like, I, I have to see other people, don't even have to talk to them. I just have to be around other people and things than my house. Something just happens.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  Well, you know what is affecting my mental health in this way?

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Tell me now.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Is that I live in a, um, garden-level unit.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  You do.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  And so, like, my bedroom, like... Technically, there are windows, but I would be facing the street at eye level.

• 17:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  So I have to have curtains. Almost lost that word completely, by the way.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  I have to cover the windows.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  My brain went.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  They cover the windows, curtains.

• 17:38Speaker 03

  So I have to have curtains and then in my living room and kitchen, like I have natural light. But like, again, like I'm on the ground.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  And so for me, it's like, if I'm home for multiple days in a row, it doesn't even feel like that. Because there's no time in my apartment.

• 17:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  There's no daylight and there's no nighttime.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  Because every hour of the day, the lamps are on. You know what I mean?

• 18:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. The time in your apartment is always apartment.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Oh, I've Googled so much recently, like, like Reddit thread, garden level apartment makes me want to die.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  And honestly, not enough, there's not enough Reddit threads as I thought there would be.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  There's like one where it's like, yeah, I moved out of it and I did feel better. And I remember being like, no, no, no, no, no. We need to get, we need to talk, guys.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  The garden unit.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  We seriously need to talk. None of us are okay, right?

• 18:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  It's crazy.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  Do you think I'll move out?

• 18:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, one day.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  My rent is really good.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  And that's kind of just what I'm working with at this point.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  It's really hard, like, you know, even if I know I can afford more, rent is just one of those things where it's like, well, if I can save on that, I might as well.

• 18:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean?

• 18:55Speaker 04

  100%.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  And also in New York, truly, I would be doubling my rent.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  To find something similar.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Yes, because that's actually how good my rent is.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  I've been to your place.

• 19:05Speaker 03

  I know, it's pretty gorgeous.

• 19:06Speaker 04

  It's great. It's a great place.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Right. Did you notice the lack of windows?

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. I can't, I will kill myself.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  No, completely.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  If I live in a garden unit, that's absolute. I can't, I found some, there's two things I can't do.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  I've found some incredible apartments in New York that I look at it and it's a garden unit, can't do it no matter what, no matter how great everything else is, I personally can't do it. And then there's another thing I found where I'm like, whoa, this apartment is awesome. What's going on here? Why is this like so cheap? And then you do the Google Street View and then you turn two feet to the left and there's a highway.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  Like a raised highway.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  That happens a lot.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Well, you know, on Street Easy specifically, I feel like you look up like Fort Greene, because it's like, you know, everyone in New York is like, that's the ideal place to live. You know what I mean? And it's like, but one block outside of Fort Greene is under a highway, and that's where all the open apartments are.

• 20:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  So it's kind of like, otherwise, you're not getting, you're not living anywhere.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  And also, those apartments, their entire business model is trick someone into living here for one year.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  They'll leave.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  As soon as that lease is up, they'll leave.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 20:14Speaker 04

  But you trick a newcomer to the city into living here for one year, and then they'll go.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  They're turning those apartments over.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  Did you feel like you got tricked when you moved to New York for the first time? Like, did you get duped at all?

• 20:26Speaker 04

  No, they hadn't gotten rid of brokers' fees yet, and I paid a psychotic, I want to say my broker's fee was in the six or seven thousand.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did that once as well.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  Of money that I, it was just like, you can't get this apartment unless you pay.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  And it's crazy, because it's like, oh, no, like, that money's actually gone.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  I remember leaving that apartment where I paid a crazy broker's fee, and, and when I moved out, I kind of was like, oops.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  That wasn't worth it at all.

• 20:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  Like, it doesn't matter that I was there for over two years. Like, I know that's not even that long, but I'm like, it really doesn't matter. Like, every day, just a few dollars were slipping out of my pocket because of that broker's fee.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  More than a few.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, more than a few.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, they, people who work in real estate, many of them need to go to prison.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Many of them are doing unfathomable crimes.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  And I will completely agree with you, and even add, my mom's a real estate agent.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Totally. And I don't know what, how she's doing her business.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  She absolutely, she needs to be locked up.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Lock him up, lock her up.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  Lock her up. Your mom is one of my favorite people.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  I know, she is so completely epic.

• 21:39Speaker 04

  She's an icon.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  She really is awesome.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  She's everything to me, she's the reason I get out of bed in the morning. She's the light of my life, she's who I thank at award shows.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  She is the mother of my children in some ways.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 21:50Speaker 04

  She's my mother in many ways.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Because you guys do have children together, you just are very absent.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Yes, we do.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  And she knew, when she, she knew I was a snake when she picked me up.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  Right. And by the way, it was crazy. She got pregnant in her seventies.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  But that's the way things go.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  I'm extremely virile.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Whoa, it's not a word I've ever heard before.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  So I got your mom pregnant in her seventies. Whatever, dude.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Wait, what does virile mean?

• 22:17Speaker 04

  Uh, technical definition, I think it just means like male version of fertile.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 22:21Speaker 04

  Chance, fact check me.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  Virile.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 22:24Speaker 03

  V U O?

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Vir- uh, V I R I A L?

• 22:29Speaker 03

  Oh, I've seen it. I just never thought to say it out loud.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  I don't think that's the one. Is it? I think it's V I-

• 22:34Speaker 03

  That's virile.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  I think it's V I R I L E.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  That's one of my other favorite words, virile.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  V I what? V I R I L E. You can just put it on the screen. I dare you. I dare you to put it on the screen. Let us see it on the screen.

• 22:50Speaker 04

  Virile, yeah, having strength, energy, and strong sex drive. Okay.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  That is how I would describe you.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I thought it was more about like the technical, like fertility of my seed.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  You were hoping it was specifically about semen.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I wanted it to be about my seed.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  How do you feel about me calling semen my seed?

• 23:09Speaker 03

  I think it's amazing. I really appreciate it.

• 23:11Speaker 04

  You like that?

• 23:12Speaker 03

  I love it a lot.

• 23:13Speaker 04

  You like that?

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  Well, it's just a, you know, calling it your seed, it's an easy way to slip it into any conversation ever.

• 23:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, the other day I was spilling some seed.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Yeah. That was one of my favorite parts of the Bible as a kid.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Is the spilling your seed part?

• 23:27Speaker 04

  They're like, thou shalt not spill thou seed outside of a womb on, on the earth or whatever. And I was like, spilling seed is a sick bar, actually.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  No, it is a good, like, it's a perfect alliteration. It just works.

• 23:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, coming is so like, ugh, what are you, an animal?

• 23:43Speaker 03

  I know.

• 23:43Speaker 04

  But spilling seed is a bit like, aww.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  I know.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  He spilled the seed.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  Well, spilling seed is also like the way that I do like to think about it.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  When I, when I really sit down and I think about sex.

• 23:56Speaker 04

  Say that.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Straight sex.

• 23:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  I know you're speaking of gay sex, but I'm speaking of straight sex.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  When I think about it, that's how I like to think about it.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Yes, the man spills his seed.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  And the stork brings that baby in.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I also like, I think my favorite part of it is spill. Cause it implies that it's always sort of a haphazard accident.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Like I just, I spilled my seed in there. Like I knocked over a glass of my seed.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck, I spilled my fucking seed.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  Oh, whoops.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  I'm so fucking sorry.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  I dropped my seed again.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  God damn.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's kind of like goofy.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Slipped out of my pocket.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  It's like Mr. Bean or something.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Yes, it is.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  It's like, oh, there goes my seed again.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  God.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, whole time, it's come.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  The whole time?

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Whole time, it's come.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  It's never switches throughout the whole story.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Hey, by the way, you want to know something I realized?

• 24:46Speaker 04

  I wish you would tell me.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  This is my first time ever going on a podcast for the second time.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  Really?

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  Oh, I find that hard to believe.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  I know.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  You're such a fabulous guest.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I think that's true.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  You are.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  As I said it, I'm kind of like, maybe it's not. No, I think it's true.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  Do you think it's true that this is your first time being a second timer?

• 25:03Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:03Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  And so I figure I just, you know, I know we've already spoken some bits, but I figure I'll just from here on out, do the same things I did last time.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 25:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  What were they?

• 25:12Speaker 03

  Same stories.

• 25:13Speaker 04

  I remember from the, from the first time you were on, probably my favorite memory of having you on was you, you talking about, that you were, you were like, I was so convinced that I was straight in high school. I thought it was ironic that I was on the softball team.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  That is an all-timer.

• 25:29Speaker 03

  That is an all-timer and like, I, well, I think what I like about that story is that people are like, come on, she had to know. And it's like, no, I didn't.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  I didn't have to know anything.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  I didn't have to know shit. Like, I was so focused on not failing out of seventh grade.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Like, I didn't think about sexuality, no way.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. What do I, what do, what do I look like thinking about sexuality? I'm literally about to flunk out of middle school.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  And also, I think I might've said this that on the last podcast, but I do want to reiterate, like, the boys that I grew up with were smoking hot.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, say that.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  So.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Say that.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  I seriously am like, how was I to know?

• 26:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  The girls I grew up with dumb as fuck, stupid.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  Really?

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  So you had these stupid girls.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  Fully sexist.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  These dumb, you're like, you're like, the girls were fucking idiots, the boys were fine.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  I was surrounded by disgusting dumb girls.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  Bimbos, yeah.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  And sexy, sexy boys.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, these are like sixth, sixth and seventh graders, yeah, at the time, yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  I can speak unto high school as well. Unto high school as well.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Unto? That's so interesting, yeah, heterosexuality, it briefly, of course, plagued me.

• 26:40Speaker 03

  Right.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  And, um, God, I'm happy it didn't stick.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  I know.

• 26:46Speaker 00

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• 28:14Speaker 03

  Do you think about, is there a turning point in your life where had something gone a little bit differently, you would have never come out?

• 28:26Speaker 04

  That's a really good question, Grace.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 28:29Speaker 04

  Um, no.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  Really?

• 28:31Speaker 04

  I think in every lifetime, I come out.

• 28:33Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  I really do. I just feel it was so overwhelming.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  She makes me emotional, that's so cute.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  I'm like, I just don't think I'm capable, I don't think, I guess maybe if I had different, a different mom.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  Maybe that would be the thing.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  But that's too far, like, then you wouldn't exist, right?

• 28:50Speaker 04

  Then it wouldn't be me, yeah.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 28:51Speaker 04

  I'm like, with my mom, there's no way.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Cause I just am-

• 28:54Speaker 03

  Oh, that's so cute.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just am so like, she, I am too opinionated and was encouraged to be opinionated, and I don't see how I could ever, what about you?

• 29:04Speaker 03

  Well, first of all, like, that is so cute, and shout out to your mom.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Shout out Kelly.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Oh my god, Kelly.

• 29:08Speaker 04

  She's alright.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  Unbelievable.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  Don't mind her at all.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  I've thought about it, like, maybe if, okay, from high school, I went to Skidmore College, which is a small liberal arts school in upstate New York, and it was like, if I didn't get into Skidmore, I would've gone to University of Arizona, probably.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  And I do think I would probably be straight if I went there.

• 29:29Speaker 04

  Really?

• 29:30Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I don't see, like, me, like, being in sorority life, like, I know you were, like, in a fraternity.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  But like, I don't see me as the, like, drinker that I was specifically in high school, going to a sorority and like, realizing anything about myself.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  I feel you would only be more lesbian.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  To be in a sorority at Arizona State, those girls are munching rug.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Okay, but I went to an all-girls high school.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, and you weren't doing anything?

• 30:00Speaker 03

  And I had not a single clue.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  That's crazy, so what were you thinking?

• 30:03Speaker 03

  I know.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  You were just getting drunk with these girls and it was never coming up?

• 30:07Speaker 03

  No, like-

• 30:08Speaker 04

  That's so funny to me.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  I mean, no, that's not true, like, I had some, like, weird, you know, sexual moments with my friends.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  That's not true. Hold on, that's not true.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  I'm like, literally, no, Caleb, we didn't do anything. And then I'm like, well, we used to lay next to each other and do some sorts of shit.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  But it still wasn't like gay in my head.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  Right.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  It was like, I don't even want to get more specific.

• 30:31Speaker 04

  What's gay about loving a friend? Yeah.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  And having like, a guy in your class on video chat.

• 30:37Speaker 04

  Like, hello?

• 30:38Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 30:38Speaker 04

  That's like, it's for him, yeah.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Right. It's for him.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  If it's for him, it's straight.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:44Speaker 03

  So.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  So what's the problem?

• 30:46Speaker 03

  I'm not sure.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  But yeah, I do still think there, there's a chance I would have never come out.

• 30:52Speaker 04

  Really?

• 30:52Speaker 03

  But I think I would have to be a really different person.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  And I think it would be dark. And I do think perhaps I would be like, alright.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Not that I think I'm capable of that, but I'm just saying like.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  Honey, we're all capable of that. We're all capable of that. All it takes is like one bad, one bad day. For anyone to be like, you know what? I'm picking up the alt-right flag.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  I just think it's like, if I went to University of Arizona, if I found myself in sorority life amongst too many Republican friends, who knows what would have happened?

• 31:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  Maybe I would have never come out. At the least, I'd be working for Barstool.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  Minimum.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  At the least.

• 31:32Speaker 04

  Bare minimum. And bare minimum, you'd be at Barstool.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  And by the way, I have thought about that a lot. I'm like, there really was like, because I went to a liberal arts school, that's why I'm not on Barstool.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  Also, I was kidding earlier when I said that anyone can be alt-right.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Right. No, I know. You are always making jokes on this podcast.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  Well, that's the thing is I need to tighten up a little bit.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Because people think everything you say is serious?

• 31:55Speaker 04

  No, I just think it would be nice to get more serious. You know, I'm getting older. I think it would be nice to like, get a little more serious.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  I think so too.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  You know, stop kidding around so much.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Well, honey, you're wearing a hat inside. You know what I mean? If you really want to take yourself seriously, you'd start making these choices.

• 32:09Speaker 04

  What did you say about my hat?

• 32:10Speaker 03

  You're wearing a hat inside.

• 32:12Speaker 04

  Is that not?

• 32:13Speaker 03

  I don't think that's something that.

• 32:16Speaker 03

  What's the word I'm thinking of? That intellectuals intellectuals is the word that I I struggle to think of.

• 32:23Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Intellectuals do.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  You don't think I'm intellectual because of the hat?

• 32:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I think if anything, it could be a fedora.

• 32:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, really?

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 32:31Speaker 04

  Would you be so serious right now?

• 32:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:33Speaker 04

  What would you do if I was wearing it? Like, if you had walked in here today and I was wearing a fedora and no one was commenting on it?

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Well, unfortunately, I would have thought it was like a nod to me because I'm a lesbian. I would have been like, oh, you goofy guy.

• 32:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  But if you like, looked at me and were like, hmm? Then I would have gone fully red in the face.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Peeed my pants a little bit.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  And been very, very scared.

• 33:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:04Speaker 04

  Good to know.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  That kind of shows the power you have, too.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  That's nice.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  I love I love to be powerful. Yeah, I love that.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  That's really nice.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  Is there ever a time in your life you wore a fedora?

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 33:16Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 33:17Speaker 04

  Yes, you know, you know when it was?

• 33:19Speaker 03

  What?

• 33:19Speaker 04

  I let a bunch of kids on a mission trip, on a youth group mission trip, talk me into shaving my head into the George Costanza haircut.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Wait, which was what again?

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Hair on the side, bald on top.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  I let them shave my head like that. And then I was like, guys, okay, it's funny, we got the picture, shave the rest of it off. And they're like, no. And I was like, what? And so then they're like, no, you should keep it like this for the whole mission trip. And I was like, okay, because they were like, that'd be funny. And I was like, okay. And so then I was like, it's really funny, but then we have to go out to like dinner and it's not so funny.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  So I was like, it's funny when it's just us, but at dinner, it's not very funny.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  So I bought a fedora and I wore a fedora over my bald spot. And then I got, oh, I spent too much money. I spent like, I bought a pretty expensive fedora.

• 34:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  And I accidentally spent too much of my money on it. So then I ran out of food money.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  No.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  And then my youth pastor had to lend me money. And my mom, my mom called me and was like, hey, did the youth pastor have to give you money? Because you spent too much on a fedora after you shaved your head? And I said, yeah. And then she goes, okay, we'll talk about it when you get home, have fun.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 34:31Speaker 04

  And I was like, okay.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  And that's kind of my fedora journey.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Right. And I bet this is gonna strike the chord of millions of people. You are seriously not alone.

• 34:40Speaker 04

  I speak for we are Charlie Kirk.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  We shave our head at youth group. We are all Caleb Hearon.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  I just have to say like, you are smart though, because if you are trying to tell people, I have hair.

• 34:58Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  But I need to cover the top. Fedora is the move.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  I am, we, you are Caleb Hearon.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  I am Caleb Hearon.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  We are all Caleb Hearon. There's nobody who's not Caleb Hearon.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  No, nobody.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  Nobody. Everybody listening to this, you are Caleb Hearon.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Yes. Print the shirts, Caleb.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  You are Caleb Hearon.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  We are all Caleb Hearon.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  We are all Caleb Hearon.

• 35:19Speaker 04

  And then it's a picture of me in a Fedora where you can kind of tell that my head is shaved half bald.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, you see just the sliver.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  It's cause it's glimmering. It's shining.

• 35:27Speaker 04

  I have a picture of it somewhere.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Oh, I would love to see.

• 35:30Speaker 04

  Why don't I try to find it?

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Really quick. I'm also looking. You were Chance? I'm looking for it.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  We are Caleb Hearon. Know what year it was? Buddy, if you think I know stuff like that, 2009?

• 35:48Speaker 03

  Like 15 ish?

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would, in 2009, I would have been.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  14?

• 35:52Speaker 04

  14, 15, yeah. This is gonna take way too, oh, do you know what? I'm not even kidding. While I was scrolling, do you know what just came up, Grace?

• 35:59Speaker 03

  What? Oh.

• 36:01Speaker 04

  This picture of us.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  That picture is so cute.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  We are so cute.

• 36:06Speaker 03

  It's really a good.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  What year was this? This was 2018.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  So cute.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  I was so in love with you then.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  I know, me too.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  God knows what happened.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  That time was, oh my god.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  We're gonna get, I think. Yeah, so that's when they finally shaved the rest of it off.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  Obsessed. Look at how cute your head is.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  That's when they finally shaved the rest of it off, yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  By the way, I meant to say this a couple of minutes ago when you were just telling this story, but I do know you could rock a buzz cut.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  You think so?

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Like, in this current day.

• 36:39Speaker 04

  You think so?

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  I get scared of it.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  I know, because you do, so cute.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Take these away.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  You do have like, really good hair, and that has been consistent for many a years since I've known you.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  But there's something just about like, your skin tone and your hair where I know the buzz cut will work. Cause that's where buzz cuts can get scary.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Is when someone's, the way that those two things contrast, it's not working, but yours, it does.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  I'm scared.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  I'm scared.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  I'm serious, no.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  Cause um, I want one.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  I want a buzz cut.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  But there's that-

• 37:20Speaker 03

  Maybe think about how easy showers will be.

• 37:22Speaker 04

  There's that voice in your head though. You know, that tells you like you can't do it.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  And then you have your good friend sit across from you and say that you could.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Right, that's me.

• 37:32Speaker 04

  You know?

• 37:33Speaker 03

  I am Caleb Hearon.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  We are all Caleb Hearon.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe I'll do it.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. You, I've had to have a petrifying thought of, by the way.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  Why am I actually crying?

• 37:47Speaker 03

  Are you really?

• 37:48Speaker 04

  I got a little bit of tears. I was kinda walked in in the scene there for a moment.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was beautiful being in the scene with you.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  It was really beautiful.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  And you, really, I stand by what I said.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  We are Caleb Hearon. What were you saying?

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Okay, so, God bless me, one day, I will play lesbian in a TV show or a movie.

• 38:09Speaker 04

  I don't think so.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  One day, one day it'll happen.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  I don't think so.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  No, I know, because we are too busy casting straight people.

• 38:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  However.

• 38:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:18Speaker 03

  This is not a political statement, by the way.

• 38:19Speaker 04

  Be careful, people are getting in trouble for saying that now.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Straight people are great actors.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  I will, I've always said that.

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  But I do kind of think that if I only have one role in my lifetime, one lesbian role in my lifetime, there's a good chance that it's some, for some reason, a lesbian in the eighties.

• 38:37Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  I just think that's in the cards for me. If that is true, we're talking really, really short hair.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  And I just do feel like, you know, if I'm gonna finally get my role of playing a lesbian in something, it's gonna be with the most fucking stupid haircut I've ever had to experience in my whole life, and I will just have to have that.

• 38:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, are you gonna get the cut for real?

• 38:58Speaker 03

  I think I will, because I'm a serious actor.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Okay, I can't wait.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  I have, I auditioned for something somewhat recently where they were like, would love to know if you would cut your hair, and it was a really bad haircut, and I told my agent, like, let's say yes, and she was like, no, Grace, I don't think you should.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  She was genuinely concerned. Before I even got a callback for the role, she was like, I don't know. Like, I don't think it will look that good.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Like, she was really protecting me there.

• 39:28Speaker 04

  You have to wake up the day this movie wraps.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  And be you still. You still have to live in that hair.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  But I was ready because I'm really serious.

• 39:35Speaker 04

  You're committed.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  You studied at Juilliard. And what, didn't you have a...

• 39:40Speaker 03

  I didn't study at Juilliard, Caleb. I taught.

• 39:42Speaker 04

  Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:45Speaker 04

  How did, how was that? How did that come about?

• 39:46Speaker 03

  I don't know. I was 13.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:49Speaker 03

  And I honestly was just walking around that campus, wherever it is.

• 39:57Speaker 04

  You were walking around Juilliard when you were 13?

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  And I started talking to some people and slowly people started gathering more and more and more.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  And next thing I knew, they asked me to come back the next day.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  What were you talking about?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  What was I talking about?

• 40:09Speaker 04

  What were you talking about that people were gathering?

• 40:11Speaker 03

  I was talking, I was honestly talking about...

• 40:14Speaker 04

  Process?

• 40:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  It was, I was talking about process. I was talking about, you know, um, having a routine.

• 40:22Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Because at 13, that's all you have.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Sorry, just so I'm clear.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  Because I want to make sure I understand. When you were 13, living in Los Angeles.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:33Speaker 04

  You were walking around the campus of Juilliard.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Which is...

• 40:35Speaker 04

  Talk, in New York.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 40:37Speaker 04

  Talking about process.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Wasn't sure, but yeah.

• 40:39Speaker 04

  And routine.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 40:41Speaker 04

  And people started gathering.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  And they liked it so much, they asked me to come back the next day. Okay.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:47Speaker 04

  And when you, when you went back the next day, just so I understand.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  You were offered a teaching position?

• 40:52Speaker 03

  Yes. It was a salary position. Um, which by the way, I wasn't making a lot. You know, teachers don't make a lot.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  It was like 65K. So obviously for 13, that was pretty good.

• 41:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  But, you know, hindsight, it wasn't that great.

• 41:11Speaker 04

  Had you taught before that?

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Where?

• 41:17Speaker 03

  It's embarrassing.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  Harvard?

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  I know. It's humiliating.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Cause it's now you're part of the problem.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  Well, and it also just wasn't Harvard, though. Like, it was Harvard Law.

• 41:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  And so, yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  At 12, 11, 10, not nine.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Nine, yeah.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  Stop.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  You were teaching at Harvard Law when you were nine.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Honestly, same exact situation, by the way.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  I was just walking around the campus.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  Talking about process and routine.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:46Speaker 04

  As you do. You were also on Epstein's flight logs.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  Well, that's where things get tricky with my history, because there's a lot of things Wikipedia says about me.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  And that, that thing that it says about me.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  But that was when you were much older. That was like two years ago.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  He had already passed. You were just still taking the plane.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  And so, and so, cause that's the thing, is like, I just do feel like, no one, when they were trying to release Epstein's list, no one was saying if they were on it or not, so I honestly just raised my hand.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  Yeah. And, and that's unfair, because he had already passed when you were on the jet.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  It wasn't even going to that place anymore.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  No. So, it really was just bad luck.

• 42:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Like, wrong place, wrong time.

• 42:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, that whole thing was a mess. He was a friend.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Yeah. And we, I mean, you were very close to being there also.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  On the island.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't make it. He had asked me, Jeffrey had texted me.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:46Speaker 04

  And said, hey, we're going to get the jet to the island this weekend. Do you want to come? We're gonna get into some stuff. And I had said, what kind of stuff are you getting into? And he said, I don't really text about it. It'll come through.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  Right.

• 42:56Speaker 04

  And I was going to go, but I was on my way to the airstrip.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  I was making my way to the airstrip. I was city biking. And a voice yelled out to me.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  And said, Caleb! And I turned, and it was, um...

• 43:16Speaker 04

  Oh, I forget his name. He was, um, the mayor of New York for a time. Um, Rudy Giuliani.

• 43:26Speaker 04

  It was Rudy.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  And do you remember, um, Rudy Giuliani from being the mayor of New York?

• 43:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do.

• 43:33Speaker 04

  He was yelling out to me from a bodega. And I looked over, this is, uh, twenty thirteen.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  And I looked over and he was in there with Barack Obama.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  And, um, was, um, was her, uh, name?

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Hillary?

• 43:53Speaker 04

  No, she was, uh, already on the island. I was gonna meet up with her there. She, this was the girl who played, um, it was Rudy Giuliani, Barack Obama, and the girl who played, um, the lead girl in Saved by the Bell.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  I never watched that show.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  Kelly, Kelly.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Kelly Ripa?

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Kelly Kapous, Kelly, um, what was her name? Jennifer, or, not Jennifer Love Hewitt. What was her name? The girl that played the lead in Saved by the Bell? The lead girl in Saved by the Bell, Burnett. Do you, the actress's name? Yeah, Tiffany, Amber Thiessen. Tiffany Thiessen. Tiffany Thiessen.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Oh, got it.

• 44:29Speaker 04

  It was Rudy, Barack, and Tiffany in the bodega. They were playing dice and...

• 44:37Speaker 04

  And he said, "Come play dice with us." And I did, and then we got crossfaded in there.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 44:41Speaker 04

  And, uh, I missed the fucking fight.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  And so I don't, I still don't know what they got up to.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  I know. That is like, that, I know that's one of your biggest regrets.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:52Speaker 04

  Yeah. Tiffany's incredible at, uh, cards and dice. Yeah, she, she, yeah, she really is something.

• 44:58Speaker 03

  So you guys were doing dice and you were like, playing poker?

• 45:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, uh, well, it was, well, it ended up being a long night.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, we, I woke up.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  A bender. It was a bender.

• 45:08Speaker 04

  Yes, for lack of a better term.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  And, uh, yeah, I woke up, Rudy had left around three or four. He went to afters at Club Coming or something. There was something going on at Club Coming.

• 45:25Speaker 04

  He was trying to get a group. He was like, "Let's go to Club Coming." I was like, I was just there the other night and,

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Uh-huh.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  Um, I woke up with, uh, Baro-, not in the same bed, but in a hotel room in Atlantic City with Barack and, um... Yeah, the cast, the cast of Saved by the Bell had come.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  Really, all of them had come through. That's so cool. They're all so, so close.

• 45:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, they are. And, uh, yeah, we had, we had ended up in Atlantic City. But it was fun to see those guys. I hadn't seen them in a minute.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  And, yeah, that's one of those things about New York.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  You're doing this and you're not even making eye contact with me, so it's.

• 46:05Speaker 04

  It's like the most.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  I'm trying to be like, how long is he going here?

• 46:09Speaker 04

  It's the most useless bit to begin with, but then to also never let it end.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  It is amazing.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  I think, well, I think it's an all-timer.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  I think, I mean, what do we think that was? Four, four minutes minimum?

• 46:20Speaker 04

  That's New York, you know? You go out thinking your night's gonna be one thing, you end up at the, and then that's New York.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  That's New York.

• 46:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's New York to me. That's my New York, anyway.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  At this point, do you feel like, okay, New York is so fucking awesome?

• 46:33Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Because you've lived here for a little bit now.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  A little bit.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  But you still kind of go all over.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  So now are you like, I love New York? Or are you like, New York is still kind of New York to me?

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Well, here's the funny thing. My friends in New York.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  Cause you were pretty LA-pilled for a while.

• 46:46Speaker 04

  Okay, so this is exactly what I'm talking about.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  I'm not trying to go into that conversation. I'm just saying.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  I just don't want to, yeah, I don't want to have tension. I don't want to have confrontation. A lot of my friends who lived in New York before I moved here, they're like, you totally flip-flopped on New York. And I'm like, that's actually not true. I have always loved New York and always hated many things about New York.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:02Speaker 04

  And I still hate all of those things about New York. And I live here anyway. Why did that happen? Well, I love LA, but I was tired of being 29 years old and texting people to go out and do stuff. And they're telling me that they're in bed and it's 9:00 PM.

• 47:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  I couldn't do it anymore. I was like, this is gonna be really appropriate in 15 years.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Right now.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  We need to.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  Everyone like needing to get to bed so they can wake up for a sunrise yoga class.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Right.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  That's not the space that I'm in.

• 47:30Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  And I'm not even a partyer or anything like that. I just want to be doing stuff.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  So I'm loving New York.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  People, people do things.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, people have a life here.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  People do stuff. And that's LA. It's like very, people do stuff in LA for sure, but it's just my, my most frequent experience in LA was that, myself included, we would go out to a dinner or a drink and then the night was over.

• 47:52Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  And I'm like, I'm looking for a little more.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  Activity right now.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  Definitely.

• 47:56Speaker 04

  That's all.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  And that is what, what New York has. And when I go to LA, I, I find myself falling asleep. Just being there.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  At the wheel.

• 48:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm falling asleep with the wheel. No, it is nice. I mean, it's like, I do, I did have a great time in LA. I liked like, there's something really great about the pace in LA sometimes.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  It could be lovely.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  When you want that pace, LA is to die for.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I also get that when I go to Kansas City. I'm like, Kansas City has stuff going on, but it's like a nice place to like relax as well. So how do I feel about New York? Well, I love it.

• 48:31Speaker 03

  I just need to know when I'm supposed to come to Kansas City.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  Anytime.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  But like, can you tell me, like, give me like an option or two of like best weekends to come?

• 48:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  And I'll be there.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Unless you feel like it's actually so all around awesome that I just can come at any time.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  You can come at any time and we'll have a great time.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  I would say I, I, I'm kind of encouraging everyone all the time to come for the benefit show for the tenant union. It's in the fall.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:59Speaker 04

  It's always a blast.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  And it's like a big fun night and a great bill every time.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:03Speaker 04

  Um, but you can come to Kansas any time, babe.

• 49:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  Come stay at my house.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  I can't wait.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  We were just talking about doing a writing retreat there to finish up some projects that we need to finish. Not together.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Who was, who did you say?

• 49:14Speaker 04

  Uh, Holmes, Chelsea Holmes.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  I'm unfamiliar completely.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Do you know, they were, um, they were an IO person?

• 49:21Speaker 03

  No.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Non-binary.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  Uh, a lot of overalls when we were in Chicago.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Really dark brunette.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  One, for a couple of months, one year.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  No, I don't know.

• 49:31Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, non-binary.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 49:34Speaker 04

  Used to drink quite a bit.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Hmm. I'd think I'd be familiar, but no.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Right. I'm trying to think if there's anything else that you would.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  I know who that is.

• 49:41Speaker 04

  They were in overcompensating Benny Skinner show.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  I know every, I feel like I can list everyone on that cast, but I don't know the name you're saying.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  I just don't know it.

• 49:51Speaker 04

  Obviously tough. I'm not super close with them, but I used to be.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Right, right, right. But that sounds amazing.

• 49:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  And I will, I will join for that.

• 49:59Speaker 04

  Grace, I have a question for you.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  What is so true to you?

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Okay, I feel, I, here's what I need to preface this with.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  I'm absolutely open to, I'm completely open to like, any thoughts people have on this. But I wanna just say I'm really passionate about it. And so I really want people to, before they kind of go, what? Just stick with me here, okay?

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  What's so true is that Christmas should be in February or March.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, easy.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  Done, done, yes, yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Okay, and my main reasoning being that we're, we're filming this right now in December.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  Yes, we are.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  And it's like, I'm having an amazing time. It snowed a couple of days ago, there's still snow outside, which is fucking beautiful.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  The snow is not dirty, and all the Christmas lights and everything are up, and it's magical.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  In February, March, New York specifically will look so horrible.

• 51:02Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  And as did Chicago when we lived there, and as did upstate New York when I've lived there.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  It will look so horrible, and there's not a Christmas light to be seen.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  We need the cheer.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  We need the cheer.

• 51:13Speaker 04

  My also, can I just say?

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 04

  Two major holidays in November and January already, Thanksgiving and my birthday.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 51:20Speaker 04

  So, to have Christmas in December is a little bit like, let's just like, relax, move it to March.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  When it's needed.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  When it's needed.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 03

  That's what Jesus would want.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  And here's the deal, is also, it gives us time to like, admire and, and, and celebrate these other holidays, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  Christmas just absolutely fucking steamrolls the others.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  It's not right.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  And, it's potentially important to note that Christmas, it does come from a fictional storybook.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  And so, I do think, let's change it.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Let's change it.

• 51:59Speaker 03

  Let's take what we can, okay? We can't change, um, what's it called, when now the lights, the sun goes down early?

• 52:09Speaker 04

  Winter.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  No, you guys know the, like, term of-

• 52:12Speaker 04

  The equinox?

• 52:13Speaker 03

  No, come on, daylight, daylight savings. We can't change daylight savings, they won't let us.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  We should, though.

• 52:18Speaker 03

  We should, but I swore a few years ago, there was a major article saying that someone was trying.

• 52:24Speaker 04

  Do you know what I've been saying for a long time? We should have, it should be one time, everywhere. If it's one.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  That's so fucked up.

• 52:33Speaker 04

  If it's 1pm in New York.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  I already know.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Hold on, hold on. If it's 1pm in New York and it's daytime, then it's 1pm in Australia, it's 1pm in London, and it just means different times for different places. It's 1pm everywhere. You go, hey, do you want to have a phone call at 1pm tomorrow? You say that, everyone, it's 1pm, but some people would say no because 1pm is the middle of their night. So then, so then you go, it's like, okay, so you know, you know how you had to do, you know how you had to do so much math about the times?

• 53:06Speaker 03

  That's easy for me, but continue.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  It's easy for me too.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  I love addition. It's one of my favorite math forms.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  And subtraction.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Okay. Well, I'm not saying it's difficult. I'm just saying it's silly and superfluous to be doing that. We could have one time everywhere.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm hearing you. Like, I want to be fully agreeing with you.

• 53:25Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 53:26Speaker 03

  I just have a few questions.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  Ask them.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  My first question is like, so then like, what hours of the day do people work?

• 53:33Speaker 04

  They work whatever the like day, like so they work like whatever, okay, so you know how you.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  You know how.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  You know right now.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  He said that like five times. It's all, you know how.

• 53:44Speaker 04

  Right now, it's like nine to five. That's like the classic one, right?

• 53:47Speaker 03

  That's the classic one.

• 53:48Speaker 04

  That's totally classic.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  The one I know and love.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  That's the totally classic one.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 04

  But instead, it would be like, okay, you're gonna work sunrise for seven hours. Or whatever. We would find a way to do it.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, I like that. People waking up at sunrise every day?

• 54:04Speaker 04

  No, we would find a standard way.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  That's kind of where I wanted your answer to go. So it is still based on sunrise.

• 54:11Speaker 04

  It's based on sunrise.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  But I think the tricky part is then like, you know, sunrise changes a couple of minutes or so every day, maybe.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  That seemed right, guys.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  So what I'm saying is like, you wouldn't do it day by day. Okay. Like in, like say in New York, say we were gonna set New York as the standard.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  That you'd say, okay, New York's workday is nine to five.

• 54:30Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Well, that means that LA's workday would be, uh, like, you know, freaking.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Freaking, and theirs would be like whatever their hours were.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Of course. Don't make the man do math.

• 54:46Speaker 04

  So it'd be like, okay, ours is nine to five, theirs is noon to eight, because that's out there.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean? Like, that's where the sun, do you understand?

• 54:59Speaker 04

  There's what I'm saying.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  Cause the sun, well, the sun rotates.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Yep. Yep. So I just want to make sure, though, that we are not having, are you having places where it will be dark for their, their work day, work hours?

• 55:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Okay, so you're trying to avoid that?

• 55:19Speaker 04

  No.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  Like, is that my question to you?

• 55:21Speaker 04

  I'm avoiding that, that's totally avoided.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Me saying, is that my question to you?

• 55:24Speaker 04

  That's your question to me.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Cause I'm that confused right now.

• 55:26Speaker 04

  And I've avoided it, and I want to tell you, when we make this change, we're also going to a four day work week.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's huge.

• 55:33Speaker 04

  We're going to a four day work week.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  That is so impactful, Caleb.

• 55:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, Monday through Thursday.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  I really want you to follow through on this.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Monday through Thursday.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  No, I don't want you to, I don't want to text you in a week and you go, oh, I dropped this idea. No.

• 55:45Speaker 04

  No.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  I want you to really make this happen. I think you can.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  Four day work week is the moderate proposal.

• 55:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Five and two is one of the most fucked up.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  It's.

• 55:55Speaker 04

  Things I've ever heard.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  Because I literally, and I really am saying this with so much immense privilege, because I rarely work five days a week.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  But I seriously, it's like, Friday at 6:00 PM comes around, and I'm like, great, it's already Saturday.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  And then Saturday, well, that's Monday, honey.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  That's how depressing it feels.

• 56:17Speaker 04

  Sunday's Tuesday, yeah.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  It's not right.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  It's not right. This isn't working.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  I remember a friend of mine, um, his job, like, maybe six years ago, switched to four days a week, and like, actually productivity in his whole work, I know this is like, everyone knows this kind of thing, and Europe does this shit all the time, but his, the productivity over his whole workplace, like, every employee went up 40%.

• 56:38Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, cause a lot of those places that have switched to four day work weeks, they put in other protocols as well, where it's like,

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  No meetings without an agenda, no agendas longer than a page, like, they, they put things in place that are like.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Which is a bummer, because my favorite kind of meeting has no agenda.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  But I understand it for people who are at work.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  For productivity. Yeah, for productivity, yeah.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, Europeans are lazy.

• 56:59Speaker 03

  Is that what it is?

• 57:02Speaker 03

  I'll let you say that.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  They just fuck off for the middle of entire days and whole months.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:06Speaker 04

  Sorry, I like, I do, I'm actually going back. We're gonna keep the times the way they are and we're gonna work eight to seven.

• 57:11Speaker 03

  Really?

• 57:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just decided I-

• 57:12Speaker 03

  Eight to seven?

• 57:13Speaker 04

  I love America. I just got really pro-America.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  Are you going to five now?

• 57:18Speaker 04

  No, I don't think Europeans are lazy. I'm quite jealous and that's where that came from.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  I'm jealous of the way they treat work.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  Right.

• 57:24Speaker 04

  I mean, they make, yeah, you see their salaries and you go, I understand why you're getting the time off, but-

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Okay, I mean, no, that is crazy. Europe gets, they, I mean, my friend who lives in France, she has like all of August off.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  All of it.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  How is that possible? I'm unsure.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  I'm jealous.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  I'm completely jealous. It pisses me off. But here's something with my Christmas idea.

• 57:45Speaker 04

  Say it.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  I realize that the hardest mental block for people will be that, you know, Christmas time-

• 57:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Is our biggest like work break of the year.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  But I'm saying we're adding more. I'm saying now we, we, we keep our Christmas time off-

• 58:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  For Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  And for New Year's.

• 58:06Speaker 04

  I wanna, I wanna thank you, by the way, for go, for adding Kwanzaa into the whole mix.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  You've been really fighting for Kwanzaa.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  I'm really fighting for Kwanzaa.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  And that's beautiful.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  Well, absolutely.

• 58:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  Do I know really very much about Hanukkah or Kwanzaa? No.

• 58:17Speaker 04

  No.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  But you know what? That's okay. Realistically, I know very little about Christmas as well.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  I know little about much, yeah.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  I know Santa, honey.

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Honey, I heard of him.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  That's what I know.

• 58:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  So what I'm saying is if we do Christmas in, I, I wanna do February, but let's say March, why not?

• 58:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  But maybe we should do February just so there's still snow on the ground.

• 58:40Speaker 04

  Do you know what else we could do?

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  Every month-

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:44Speaker 04

  We work the first, second, and third week of the month. Ooh, hold on, what about this?

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 58:52Speaker 04

  January.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  We work, we don't work the first week of the month.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  Why would be?

• 58:57Speaker 04

  Second, third, and fourth, we work.

• 58:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Then we work the first, second and third of February. We don't work the fourth week of February. We don't work the first week of March and we keep going in that pattern. Where there's like six weeks in a row, sometimes where we're all working. But then there's two weeks where we're not and we do that all year round, baby.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  I think that's how it should be.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  That's a good one.

• 59:20Speaker 03

  Because the moment that like a couple, um, uh, like national holidays are over near the beginning of the year. Honestly, looking at the calendar is really dark.

• 59:33Speaker 04

  It's tough.

• 59:34Speaker 03

  It's really dark. You'll be in like February and you'll be like, oh shit. So we're straight up waiting till fourth of July.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's our next like break.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  To have a day off.

• 59:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, but in my system, it's not like that.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  I know.

• 59:44Speaker 04

  And if I think this is what I'll say to whoever's listening, if you, if anybody is in charge of this. How we do this. I'll keep the time the way it is. I will give on the time.

• 59:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 59:55Speaker 04

  As a concession. If we do my weeks plan.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  If anyone listening has control over that stuff.

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  But you don't want to do, you want to do six weeks.

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  Well, I just thought it would be nice because then it creates the reality where we have two weeks off in a row sometimes.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  I know, and the two weeks off is very special, especially for vacation kind of stuff.

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  Vacation.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  But I was thinking like, what if just the first week of every month is off?

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Well, I thought that too, but then the reality is you never get two weeks in a row off.

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  Unless you want to use your PTO.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. You could use it as your own two weeks.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  Talking to friends with corporate jobs, like my friend last week was like, what are you doing today? And I was like, I'm like, you know, waiting to see if I'm going into work or not, but what are you doing? And he's like, I took the week off and I was like, how? And he's like, I had vacation time I had to use and I truly am like, what does that mean?

• 1:00:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  How, that doesn't make any sense. Like, I'm happy for him, but that's why corporate America is so bizarre.

• 1:00:54Speaker 04

  It's crazy.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  He literally was like, yeah, I'm not going anywhere, so I just am going to take a week off, even though I'm at home in New York.

• 1:01:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Just because.

• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  He should.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  I know, I know.

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  You have to take that time.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  I know, but it's just so funny.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  I guess I've just never worked a corporate job in my whole life.

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  I have.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  I did service to this.

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  You did.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  You did. I remember that.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  I remember that.

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  And I remember you and your corporate job.

• 1:01:18Speaker 04

  I was, yeah, it was not pretty.

• 1:01:19Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  It was not pretty.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't.

• 1:01:22Speaker 04

  I was showing up to those offices with an outsized attitude.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  I do feel like you were like borderline getting in trouble sometimes.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  Oh, border, honey, borderline.

• 1:01:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  I was in trouble.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  That's what I thought.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  It wasn't even getting in. I existed in trouble.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, I was, yeah, I would hit the sweet spot. I would get a new job and I would do, I would do what I call hitting the sweet spot. Which is where you work a little hard for two weeks.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:01:45Speaker 04

  Win everybody over personality style. Take all your sick days quickly. Take any PTO that you've accrued. And then just kind of wait for them to fire you or quit.

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  I, yeah, I was really, I was focused on comedy only. Yeah, was not worried about those day jobs.

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Well, no, and why would you have been?

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  Didn't care about benefits. Cause I was also like, I'm on my mom's health insurance.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:02:04Speaker 04

  Until she's a nurse, so I was on her health. I was lucky to have like a decent health insurance plan.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  That's amazing.

• 1:02:09Speaker 04

  I was like, I got to Chicago when I was 21 or something, 21, 22. And I was like, I got a couple of years of not having to think about benefits.

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  I'm doing whatever I want.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. Also, how like amazing, but also depressing that the only thing that you really cared about was health insurance?

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  And that's what most people cannot get at all.

• 1:02:28Speaker 04

  That's why they don't.

• 1:02:29Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  That's why they don't want us to universalize health insurance is because it would disincentivize so many people from working bad jobs.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:02:37Speaker 04

  They want us to, Michelle, what's going on over there?

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Oh, food's here.

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  Food's here.

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  I didn't know we were still ordering food. I love that. Did you, did I get something? Nice.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  I got something too, by the way.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:51Speaker 04

  Yay, we're gonna eat lunch soon.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Just something for you to know.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  Your lunch that your crew got.

• 1:02:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Today, this is how my boy is doing. That, this restaurant is my, I'm really gonna ball out for takeout tonight restaurant.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  It's fully my sushi spot where I'm like, I can't believe I'm doing this.

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  Let's go. So you're so happy?

• 1:03:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm really fucking happy.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Making you happy is my only goal.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  Do you wanna play a game?

• 1:03:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  Okay. Grace?

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Miserable already, just seeing that clipboard.

• 1:03:33Speaker 04

  You know what time it is. Grace, I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  That's it? It hasn't gone up since last time I was here?

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  Now you get sushi. The Foo Fighters formed in 2000.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  False, 1994. Michelle Obama went to Yale for undergrad.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  True?

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  False, Princeton. Mobile is the capital of Alabama.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:03:59Speaker 04

  False, Montgomery. The clown from Stephen King's It is named Pennywise.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  True. The BlackBerry was invented in California.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:08Speaker 04

  False, Waterloo, Canada. Skidmore College was originally the Young Women's Industrial Club.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  True?

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  True. Dogs have three eyelids.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:04:19Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  Marge Simpson's mother's name is Madeline.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:23Speaker 04

  False, Jacqueline. Mariska Hargitay went to Hoover High School.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

  False, Marymount High School. Identical twins don't have the same fingerprints.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:34Speaker 04

  True. Walmart and Target opened their first stores in the same year.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:38Speaker 04

  True. The current mayor of Chicago is Brandon Johnson.

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know. True?

• 1:04:44Speaker 04

  True. Snow leopards can leap up to 50 feet in a single jump.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  True. Jupiter is the largest object in our solar system.

• 1:04:53Speaker 03

  False.

• 1:04:53Speaker 04

  False, it's the sun. Doctors who are liver specialists are called hepatologists.

• 1:04:58Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:04:59Speaker 04

  True. How'd she do? An incredible comeback for the ages 10?

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  Grace, Grace, Grace, Grace, Grace. Hell, yeah, queen.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  Your crew lifts me up in my chair.

• 1:05:14Speaker 04

  They're not allowed to move from their seats.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  I did so bad last time.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. Did you?

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Well, I didn't win.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. How does my money come? In cash? Is it Zelle?

• 1:05:27Speaker 04

  Grace, not to ask questions. It was so nice to have you on.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  No, how does my money come?

• 1:05:30Speaker 04

  And God, we love you. Grace, tell people where they can find you. You get dragged off in handcuffs. Grace, I love you so much.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  I love you so much.

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  Thanks for doing it again, buddy.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Of course, I love the So True fanbase and I really love being here.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  Do you want to tell people where they can find you?

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can find me on Instagram, TikTok and other platforms, @GKUHLENSCHMITT and on The Daily Show. And right now, I think that's about it for me.

• 1:06:05Speaker 04

  Okay, that's a lot.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  Hey, pretty good.

• 1:06:08Speaker 04

  Love you.

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  I love you.

• 1:06:12Speaker 00

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• 1:06:40Speaker 02

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• 1:07:10Speaker 06

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