Brittany Broski Returns

Folks, it’s the ONE HUNDREDTH EPISODE OF SO TRUE and the only way we saw fit to celebrate 100 episodes was to invite our old pal the one and only Brittany Broski to join us for the special occasion! Brittany and Caleb talk their plans for the new year, acting exercises, pop divas, yearning, and much more! Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Brittany! @brittany_broski Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Virginia Muller. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 0:16Speaker 01

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• 0:46Speaker 02

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• 1:16Speaker 03

  Wave.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  I found your grinder account. And let me just stop you, right? Let me stop you. You sneaky, conniving- Oh, me? You. Sure. What were you doing going through my iPad? Well-

• 1:37Speaker 03

  What were you doing going through my Galaxy tablet?

• 1:47Speaker 03

  So, Brittany, I'm so delighted to tell you that this is our 100th episode of So True. Now, you're probably looking at the- The big 6-0? The 60 balloons that we have here. What happened was my beautiful, gorgeous, perfect assistant, Michelle, she ordered the balloons to be delivered here. And they brought, instead of bringing the numbers 1, 0, 0, they sort of inexplicably brought the numbers 6 and 0. And then when she at the door with the man said, "Hey, this is supposed to be 100," he said, "That's crazy."

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Here's a six in a z. Oh, well. So that's what we've got going on for our 100th episode. Is the number 60 in the background because they just decided.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  You know what they say, lucky number 60.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Lucky number 60, and that's you.

• 2:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, very me.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  That's you.

• 2:39Speaker 04

  They also say 6'7".

• 2:40Speaker 03

  6'7".

• 2:41Speaker 04

  You know what that is?

• 2:42Speaker 03

  I still don't understand that.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  You wouldn't get it, it's not for you.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  I don't get it.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  And I'm not trying to get it.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  I don't think you need to.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  I'll say with that kind of stuff, I've moved on, I'm on a higher plane, I'm in a different place.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  Oh, you start hanging out in Meryl Streep, you think you're better than 6'7".

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  You might be right.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm not trying to understand that stuff.

• 3:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Because I think there's kind of nothing sadder than getting into your 30s. Once I turned 30, I said, you know what?

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Just period?

• 3:10Speaker 03

  There's nothing sadder than getting into your 30s.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  Being 30s, oh, yeah.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  No, I love being in my 30s, but once I turned 30, I said, there's nothing sadder than being the guy who doesn't understand young people's stuff and is obsessively trying to prove that you kind of do.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  I'm like, no, I don't get that, that's not for me to know about.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  Hello, fellow youths.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  Hello, fellow youths.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's very that.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  One of the most impactful memes of all time.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Hello, fellow young people.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:30Speaker 04

  That's how I feel sometimes when I'll have people come up to me and they'll be like, I started watching you when I was in high school and I'm graduating college. What the fuck are you talking about?

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I beg your pardon.

• 3:41Speaker 04

  Why would you ever say that to me?

• 3:43Speaker 03

  I beg your pardon.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  And you want to know something else? I did recess therapy on Monday in this beautiful city of New York.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm sitting there with a youth.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  I'm speaking with the youth.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  You're with the youth and Julian?

• 3:53Speaker 04

  He goes.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Cute, by the way.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  Very cute.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Cute, Julian, very cute.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  Julian sexy.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Julian is, has an energy.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  Julian has an energy.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  Julian, we're looking for a third.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Now, mind you, Julian, we're looking for a third if you're interested. I'm not going to say what you'll have to do, but it's, I'd call it cleanup crew.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's cleanup crew and also knitting club.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, are you going to be knitting during the episode?

• 4:11Speaker 04

  If you don't mind, I've just got some work to do, last minute work to do.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  You've gotten too comfortable with me, for sure. Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 04

  I haven't even taken my pants off yet.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  You don't take me seriously.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Don't say that.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  We bring in the 60 balloons for you.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  Lucky number six.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Number six, though.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Um, I was with the children.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:27Speaker 04

  And this kid, in the middle of me saying something, he had asked me a question halfway through, decided he didn't care about my answer. He goes, how old are you?

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Well.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, right?

• 4:36Speaker 03

  Answer him.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  He goes, he goes, how old are you? I said, how old are you? He goes, eight. I said, well, I'm 20 plus eight. He goes, what?

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Well.

• 4:45Speaker 04

  I thought you were like 36.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  I looked at his dad, I said.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Oh, that's not, oh.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  I said, that's unbelievable.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Unacceptable.

• 4:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  Bring back hitting kids.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  Bring back spanking, bring back the belt.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  The belt. Bring back going and picking a switch.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, bring back hitting the switch for someone else's kid.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  I should be able to beat your kid because he said that to me.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Well, everyone wants to be part of a village, but no one wants to be a village.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  And apparently I'm an elder.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Let me hit your kid.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  I'm a village elder, let me hit your kid. Yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  You are a village elder.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  You are.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  You are, girl.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  You will not scare me into being afraid of aging.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  I'm not afraid of aging, I'm loving it.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  You're an elder currently, you're gonna become more of an elder.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  I'm like, I'm the eldest.

• 5:30Speaker 03

  I turned 30 and I felt a release I can't even explain to you.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  It's like, there was something about my twenties that I was like, I was always like, my twenties, my twenties, my twenties have to be so special. I turned 30 and I was like, baby.

• 5:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  It's five o'clock somewhere.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  And it always is.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Always five o'clock somewhere.

• 5:46Speaker 04

  And it's always the 60th episode somewhere.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  60. Big 60, how do you feel?

• 5:51Speaker 04

  I feel like y'all should definitely get a refund for the balloons you got.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Yeah. We'll be pursuing that expeditiously.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  Okay, great.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  You have been with So True since the very start.

• 6:02Speaker 04

  Caleb, it is my honor and privilege to have been one of the first.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  You were one of the first and we actually recorded, I don't know, did we ever talk about on one of your episodes, the episode that you recorded and we didn't get to put out?

• 6:12Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Remember that?

• 6:14Speaker 04

  One of the funniest pieces of lost media that's ever existed.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  We went really hard on that unreleased episode.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Can I say something? We're funny.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  You and me?

• 6:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  I would love to feel that someday, because what I think-

• 6:25Speaker 04

  I wish I could agree.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wish I could agree.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  I wish I could agree.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  I watch our stuff and I see people having fun with it and I go, what are they seeing that I'm not?

• 6:33Speaker 04

  If you got it, you got it. If you don't, you clip it and post it on TikTok.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  You clip it and post it on TikTok and that's what I'm doing.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  I do feel like our friendship is a lot of just clip farming.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  I would say our friendship is 90% business, public facing relationship.

• 6:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  You, when I, when I asked you, I found out you were gonna be in New York from like an Instagram story. And I, I immediately called you and said, don't you ever in your fucking life, post on Instagram that you're gonna be in New York City and not have texted me first. And I thought I really had you. Like, I thought you were gonna be like, my bad. And then you go, how the fuck am I supposed to know where you're at? And I was like, whoa.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  Where in the world is Caleb Aaron?

• 7:11Speaker 03

  But you did accuse me, you did accuse me when I asked you to come on the show of, um, using our friendship for views. And I just wanna say, all jokes aside, I 100% am.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  I don't like you much.

• 7:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  And I hang out with you for the views, yeah.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Under these lights.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  Magic happens.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Under the, this is, we come here for magic.

• 7:31Speaker 04

  We come here to this theater.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  This theater, huh?

• 7:34Speaker 04

  For magic.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  And once the cameras cut, this'll be our interaction. Alright, thanks for doing it, Brittany.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, when is this releasing?

• 7:41Speaker 03

  This comes out, January?

• 7:42Speaker 04

  January 8th. Great, okay.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  I'll have the like indie eight drawn up by then and all whatever. We go back to our separate dressing rooms.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, God, I do wish we had a, what's funny, I think about our friendship to me is that, I think when people see us online, and Drew as well, which, you know, Drew is not here and that's obviously a benefit.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  She's passed on.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  She's passed on, yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  In California, she's just in California.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  She's in a different place.

• 8:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Uh, but people see us online and I think they think that when we're together, it's like, I don't know, like, we're like both like the squirrel from Ice Age or something.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Scrap.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Like, we're like fucking banging, yeah, we're like banging shit into the ice and like running around crazy and giggling the whole time. And then we're hanging out, we're like literally holding each other's hands and being like, you are worthy of so much more than you know.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Caleb and I were just talking, like, before we come on here and we're like, butthole.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Butthole pick of the day.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:34Speaker 04

  We do, um, who are you outside of yearning? And who are you, who are you in having?

• 8:41Speaker 03

  On the podcast, we're like, man, I would binge you over right now if these cameras weren't on. Five minutes ago, off camera, we're truly over there being like, outside of wanting, you have value. No matter what, you have value.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  It's so stunning.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  I love, love, love, love, love it.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  I love being a girl.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  I love being a girl, too. I think we should start planning more dates.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  Me and you?

• 9:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, you and me.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  I tried to take you on a date tonight and you canceled on me.

• 9:07Speaker 04

  I did actually cancel on you. I have to go to the ballet.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I made a date for us tonight. I actually, it's kind of sad because actually you had told me we could go on a date tonight. So I, I made an assemblance of plans. I made, I planned like two or three events. You know that I did. I had a concert that I was gonna take us to.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  And then I had a members only event at the museum that I was gonna take you on a date to. And you text me back and you go, you go, "Sugar, I'm so sorry. You know, I had a thing with the ballet."

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Well, and that brings me to my so true. If we could just fucking get into it.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Let's do one now. Do it so true.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  Cause I have two more after this. We can just keep circling back.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Brittany Rene Broski, what is so true to you?

• 9:43Speaker 04

  You know what's so true right now to me in this moment? I came in hot today. Art, specifically live theatrical art, like the opera, ballet, live theater, Broadway, whatever. This is the city to do it.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Stand up, stand up, stand up. Say stand up.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Stand up. Stand up comedy.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Guys, go to see stand ups. Specifically at.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Please.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Union?

• 10:07Speaker 03

  We'll put it in there.

• 10:08Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah. Over my mouth?

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, wherever I'm performing.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yes.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  We'll clip this every time I do a show from now on. Go see stand up specifically at. The Laugh Hub in Seattle. Yeah.

• 10:19Speaker 04

  Extra night added.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Sold out.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  See Caleb Hearon live. It's just you doing this.

• 10:27Speaker 03

  But yes, art, live art.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  There should not be a barrier to entry on live art. Okay? There is a class war going on.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  You and me are, we're up on the funeral pyre, unfortunately.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  This keeps coming up.

• 10:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, specific, get him. Get him specifically.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:43Speaker 04

  I like honestly trying to get these ballet tickets. Like it should not cost an arm and a leg. And it's also a big ass, stupid ass, dumb ass New York red flag. When you go and it's all old people in the audience.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  Cause they are the only people that can afford those tickets.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  It is so upsetting. And I think ballet is such, it's an art form that needs to be preserved.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Let's talk about old people.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  They bought houses for 17 cents.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  And then they hoarded them.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  And then they became property criminals. Now they rent them out to people for tens of thousands of dollars.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  I looked at a house in LA once that was for rent for $11,000 a month.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  How big?

• 11:18Speaker 03

  It was like four or five bedrooms with a pool in the backyard and stuff.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  But they, the people bought it, two doctors, bought it for like $175,000 in the 90s. And they've long since paid that mortgage off. And now they are just banking $11,000 a month.

• 11:35Speaker 04

  It's criminal.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  So go to jail.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Go to jail, actually.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  So go to jail.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  For free right now.

• 11:40Speaker 03

  Cause you don't have to charge that much.

• 11:42Speaker 04

  No jail, no parole. You, there is no livable reality where you should be charging $10,000 a month for rent. For the shithole that is Los Angeles.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Get a grip.

• 11:51Speaker 04

  Get a grip.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Get a grip. It is not right what these old people have done. And now they're spending that money to go to the ballet and you're not there and that's not right.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  And I'm not there.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  That's not right.

• 11:58Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  That's not right at all. You deserve to be there.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  And some dumb fucking idiot.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  Is sitting in my seat at the ballet.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  And they, they're not looking at the bulge the way that I would be appreciating the bulge.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  That's almost certainly true.

• 12:10Speaker 04

  And it's not about the bulge. Caleb, stop making it sexual. It's not about the bulge.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  It's about the art.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  Did not. See how he gaslights me on camera?

• 12:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:19Speaker 04

  It's about the art. It's about the synchronicity of the dancers. It's about the live orchestra.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  I thank God every day that you were brought into my life. I don't know how I got, stop it, stop it.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  You know, I feel the same. Say it. And can we, we have a lesbian to thank for introducing us, actually.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Give me space to talk to you really quick.

• 12:35Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Every single-

• 12:38Speaker 04

  Don't care.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  Brittany, stop. Not everything is silly.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  You're being bad.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Every single day, I can't believe that I got lucky enough to be your friend. And that being said, you have got to stop voting Republican. It's really not funny, because I do that bit on this show sometimes, but seriously, behind closed doors-

• 13:02Speaker 04

  It's because of my sweater in it.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Yes. I said, she's showing up in an American flag sweater, talking about the call centers in another country.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Hold on. Now, tell me about your perfect day.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  Um, can I tell you about the worst day that I would wish on someone else?

• 13:21Speaker 03

  Oh, absolutely.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  I want a day full of little inconveniences.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Everything goes wrong.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Miss your bus, maybe step in shit.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  Maybe you're late, maybe you haven't eaten all day, maybe you have really bad coffee breath, maybe you're self-conscious about it all day. I want little things. Drop your keys, your fucking sweater gets caught on the door, like it rips. The person that you're like really beefing with the worst, it's a psychological game, right? I really want you to suffer, not in a major way, but in like a push them to the brink.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Right? Thoughts on that?

• 13:55Speaker 03

  I've wished horrible things on people who cut me off in traffic. I mean, I ju- like, I don't mean it and I don't dwell on it, but for just a second, you- you're gonna tell me right now, someone- someone speeds past you in a reckless way and you don't go like, if they got in a crash, it would be on them.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  I don't want it.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  Right.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  But there's a part of my brain that goes like, that would be the consequences.

• 14:14Speaker 04

  Where's the Christian part of your brain? Like, what if he's rushing his wife to the hospital?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  I try to do that. I try to do that. There's a-

• 14:20Speaker 04

  You have such a dark spirit that it overpowers.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  There's a name for that, where you assume that everyone has a circumstance. It's like some kind of cognitive something, something.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  But I'm not in therapy like that.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  Um-

• 14:32Speaker 04

  You don't care about mental health.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  I- I'm mentally healthy, is the thing.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  I feel fine.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  I feel good.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  So I feel like everyone else, y'all are kinda making it up?

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Nah, well, no, some people, yeah, I mean-

• 14:48Speaker 03

  Some people, some people, I feel, they, you know, here's what I'll say.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  Okay, just say it.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  There is such a thing as spending too much time thinking about your mental health.

• 14:59Speaker 04

  Thinking about yourself, girl. Okay, let's, let's talk about this, actually.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Get off it. Get over yourself.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Here's the thing.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Take them off.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  They're coming off.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  The flats are off.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  And I'm gonna reveal my moose knuckle to the camera now.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  I'll hide it until the end.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  Okay, stick to the end, see?

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Stick around for moose knuckle reveal.

• 15:14Speaker 04

  Until we get the right balloons and my moose knuckle.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Here's the thing about doing too much intensive therapy, okay?

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 15:21Speaker 04

  You're navel gazing, you're navel gazing, your head's gonna go up your puss eventually. If you're bent down like this, thinking about yourself the whole fucking time, the serious cure, like a, a, a quick cure to, if you're like, I can't stand this anymore, like I'm so deep in my head, think about someone else's problems.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  And how you maybe could help them.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  I swear, I just dealt with this with a, a long-term friend of mine. She's really been struggling. We went on a girl's trip and hearing about everyone else's struggles and how deep, and what's that, that phrase? It's called, um, not, not wanderlust, it's the other one, where you realize, oh, everyone is as complex and gray as I am.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, that's like one of those things that they have like a Swedish word for.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're like.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  Made up language, by the way.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Der kompetent fluten.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  The realization that other people exist.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Chapin valse den.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, that kinda shit, yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very that where, oh yeah, other people feel as deeply as I do.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  And like, it's not always about me all the time. And I think it's so easy, especially as Americans, to have that be your accepted reality. And it's so, and this sounds so like, yeah, fucking duh, to do something kind for someone else. And not only will that make you feel good, but it'll also take you out of your own head. It's the ostrich taking its head out of the sand.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Do something for someone else.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  Think about someone else. Get over yourself. You've gotta get over yourself.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Get over it.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  It's not to say don't think about yourself ever. Of course, we all think about ourselves. But like, the, the constant turning over of, am I a good person? Am I doing good? Am I feeling good? Am I a good person? Am I a good person? Stop. Just exist, chill out.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Because also what it forces you to do when you're constantly doing that is by constantly evaluating yourself, you start to evaluate everyone else. And so then everything you hear all the time, you're looking for like, you shouldn't have said that, you shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't be like that, you should do, it's like, yeah, or you could fucking relax and get over yourself and by virtue of that, get over everything.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  And just like more often be in a state of like, yeah.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  And give people grace.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  Because you need to give yourself grace.

• 17:28Speaker 04

  You need to stop yelling at strangers in traffic.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  And in that way, I think I will change. Cause I do have road rage and I'm gonna work on it.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  Guys, see, healing is possible. Our next guest will come and sit in this chair and give us their so true. Back to you after these ads.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Wait, what hap- what happened? It's your show?

• 17:52Speaker 04

  You see how I did that? I commanded the scene.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. Okay, let's do a scene.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  Okay, let's do a scene.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Let's do a scene.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  Caleb just told me I need to get into acting, so let's do it.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's do a scene. Okay, um, I think that you would be a good actor.

• 18:03Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  I already am.

• 18:04Speaker 04

  Actor, actress.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  Actor. I don't do gendered when I do actor, everyone's an actor.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  So the scene, and you know, I'm obviously a decorated performer already.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  Better than.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  So, um, this is the scene. I have been away, I am your husband.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  I have been away on work for three months.

• 18:27Speaker 04

  What do you do for work?

• 18:28Speaker 03

  I am an insurance salesman.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  Yes. And I've just come back and you are trying to tell me that you want a divorce.

• 18:38Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  And, um, you're not even fully sure if you believe that.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Oh, like there's still something here?

• 18:46Speaker 03

  There's doubt, but you think, you think divorce is the thing you have to say. That's something you're wrestling with, that's your conflict.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  And for me, I did cheat on you on the work trip.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Well, that was gonna be my, okay, start the scene.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  But you don't know that, by the way.

• 18:57Speaker 04

  Right, but I have a, I have a female intuition, I have a sense.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  Women always know, kind of, okay.

• 19:02Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 19:05Speaker 03

  Ah, it's good to be back from my work trip where nothing happened.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm. Nice to see you. You have a glow about you.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  I just love work.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, did you have a good work trip?

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, Fouquet's beautiful this time of year.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  Bangkok. Okay, I have a question.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  Let's cut really quick.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Sorry, okay.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  So, you obviously there for a moment, kind of started to laugh at what I was saying.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, sorry, I remembered I was with my friend Caleb and I wanted to make a penis joke.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, do you want to do it now while we're out of the scene?

• 19:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Just because I want to take the scene.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  Bangkok, fuck it, Bangkok.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  Okay, okay, back, don't laugh, back to the scene.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  Okay, we're gonna go back in?

• 19:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  Okay, we'll just take it from the top.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  Okay. Do the little walk again?

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Oh, God, sorry, babe, I'm exhausted from my work trip.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  Hey, how was the travel in?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  It was good, you know, the flight was a little bumpy, but nothing crazy. Guy next to me was listening to something out loud with no headphones. Fucking jackass.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, hate when that happens.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  Put on some goddamn headphones.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's rude.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  It's rude as hell.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  And you don't expect this kind of stuff on Aer Lingus.

• 20:16Speaker 04

  I found your Grindr account. Sit down, let's talk.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Okay, sorry, let's step out of the scene really quick.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  The physical here is really great.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  I'm very embodied. I'm very in my body in the scene. Okay, let's pick it up, we've just sat down, you found my Grindr account? Okay, and, action!

• 20:44Speaker 04

  I found your Grindr account. And, let me just stop you, right?

• 20:48Speaker 03

  Let me stop you. You sneaky, conniving bitch.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  Oh, me?

• 20:53Speaker 03

  You.

• 20:54Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  What were you doing going through my iPad?

• 20:56Speaker 04

  Well...

• 21:03Speaker 04

  What were you doing going through my Galaxy tablet?

• 21:10Speaker 04

  You were going through my Note 7?

• 21:16Speaker 03

  What were you doing going through my PSP?

• 21:20Speaker 03

  Grinder on my PSP. Okay, hold on.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  Grinder on my PSP.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  You keep the notifications on. So not only that, but you also leave the sound on. You were gone for two months, Caleb. Do you realize that? Two months?

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Go ahead.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  On, on, on. You left it on the charger. It's ping, ping, ping, ping. I get so sick of it. Two weeks in, I go and check. What is it? Mask for mask? No fats?

• 21:46Speaker 04

  No fems?

• 21:47Speaker 03

  Yep. Go ahead. Are you done?

• 21:51Speaker 04

  I just think that...

• 21:52Speaker 03

  No, because you've got it all figured out.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  No, because you've got it all figured out, right?

• 21:55Speaker 04

  No, you tell me, because I don't know if I'm understanding.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, Antoinette, because you've got it all figured out.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  Renee.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  Antoinette, you've got it all figured out, right?

• 22:05Speaker 04

  Sure. I feel like I have the picture painted for me very clearly.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, so, okay. Four months ago, when we were at dinner at Red Lobster, and you had the endless shrimp, and they asked you if you would please be done soon. Do you remember that? You said, "Let me get another plate of the shrimp," and the server said, "Ma'am, can you please be done soon? We're not doing great."

• 22:26Speaker 04

  So you're bringing up my eating disorder in front of the fucking camera?

• 22:28Speaker 03

  No, no. Let me ask you. Do you remember that night?

• 22:30Speaker 04

  I remember that night.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  And do you remember what you said to me at that dinner? I bet you don't. I bet you don't. It's actually funny. I bet you don't because of the way that you're trying to corner me right now. Antoinette, you said to me, "God..."

• 22:42Speaker 04

  Just say it. Just say it.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  I will. You said to me, "God, Caleb, I wish more than anything in this world that I had a gay best friend who's masked and thin." Did you not say that to me? Did you not say that to me?

• 22:55Speaker 04

  Context is important, but yes, I did say that at the Red Lobster.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  You said that to me. And so, even though I find gay people fucking disgusting, and I think they're all gonna burn in hell.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Because of my upbringing.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  I went on grinder.com on my iPad.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  Oh, you did that for me?

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  You did that for me?

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Messaging these fucking freaks.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  Asking them, are you masked? Are you thin? She doesn't want to fem fat one. I've been saying, my wife needs a gay best friend on there.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  And stutter again?

• 23:23Speaker 03

  And then I go to, and then I go to Phuket for a work trip to pay for your fucking nails.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Funny, you told me it was Bangkok.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  You said Bangkok.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  Sure, sure. You know what I find funny?

• 23:37Speaker 03

  So what do you have to say to that? Tell me. I can't wait to see what you find funny.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  You know what I find funny is on this app, Grindr, your profile uses my photos.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  You meeting up with these gentlemen?

• 23:54Speaker 03

  That 100% tracks with my version of the story. I'm trying to find you a gay best friend.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Right, sure. Can I ask you a question?

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Ask me.

• 24:03Speaker 04

  Just because we're into it. Were you physical?

• 24:08Speaker 03

  Did I sleep with some of the guys? Of course I did. Are you fucking insane?

• 24:14Speaker 04

  What, you think I'm a fucking idiot?

• 24:15Speaker 03

  These tight young men come to me trying to be friends with my wife?

• 24:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  I'm gonna fuck them and make sure that they're actually gay.

• 24:20Speaker 04

  Market research.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  So they don't steal my wife.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  I swear sometimes you're so fucking dense. Yes, I fucked these guys to make sure they were gay. So they don't steal my wife. Dumbass?

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Okay, cut, obviously.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  You wanted to, okay.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  Sorry, cut. I just feel like, did I take it too far when I?

• 24:44Speaker 04

  I just feel like you leaned into the verbal a bit. Like, it felt very real. It felt, it felt very marriage story for a second.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  But then we really brought it back. And I think, I have a resolution to this.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  Okay, ready?

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Let's go back into the scene. Of course I fucked these guys. So I know that they're gay. So they don't fuck my wife.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  I have something to tell you. Cause I feel honestly like hearing you say that. It's making sense like, and I honestly feel like really bad. And I just feel like I have something to tell you.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  Pull it together.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  I made.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Pull it together.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  I also made a Grindr account. Okay. And I went to log in on my iPad, on my Galaxy Note 7. And we used the same fucking email. And I just knew in that moment, like, I've been thinking about a divorce. I've been thinking about this guy's fucking gay. And like, I don't really, you know, I'm not like physically attracted to him. And like, I don't know if we were ever in love. But when I saw you use the same fucking login.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  I'm not gay. I'm not gay.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  I literally knew.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  I'm not gay.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  That like, that's my man. Because if you made the Grindr account with the same email.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga. If you have half a brain. If you love a yellow midnight. Scene. Okay. Was that electric for you?

• 26:06Speaker 04

  There's something here.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Yes. I felt, and I'm not kidding, cause I know it feels like it was silly, but like.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  That wasn't silly to me.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  I actually felt very connected and dropped into the scene. And I loved being in that with you.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  We should write something.

• 26:22Speaker 04

  We should, we should make a movie.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  We should write a stage show.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  Caleb, should make a baby.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  I mean, that would legitimately be magic.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  Very attractive child.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  I would, yeah, I mean, that's a gorgeous little kid. And that's a brilliant little kid. I'm hoping that if we were to have a baby together. I hope that it might exhibit some of these qualities.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  All right. So what is this clipboard? I am wondering.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  So we found your LinkedIn account.

• 26:50Speaker 04

  Um, so.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  And.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  What the fuck is going on?

• 26:55Speaker 03

  The bio, I just hope that if we were to have a kid, that maybe the kid would have some of these qualities.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Brittany Gigum. Intelligent, creative, ambitious, and exceptional leader.

• 27:07Speaker 04

  Are any of those things false?

• 27:08Speaker 03

  An optimistic team member who earns trust easily.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  This was also before ChatGPT came up with that all on my lonesome.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  Builds positive relationships and is able to work well in a group setting. What I like about that is it doesn't say she will.

• 27:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  She's able.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  If necessary.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  If necessary, can can in an emergency.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  A skilled communicator who delivers messages and ideas effectively as well as an expert listener has not been my experience.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  The first falsity.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  And problem solver. What? Tell me a little bit about this.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  You know, my passion for people started very young.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, ever since I was just a little tyke.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:47Speaker 04

  And is tyke a slur for a child?

• 27:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Should be.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  It's close to a slur for a different group of people, but it's a letter off.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  I think we should bring back tykes for.

• 27:57Speaker 03

  Tykes for kids?

• 27:57Speaker 04

  For kids.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  Anyway.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, I'm in. You got me. I'm in.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  I appreciate your support.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Let's do it.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, I kind of came up with that all on all on me lonesome.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Cause I needed to communicate. I'm the personality hire, right? Nothing about that says actually I'm ready to work and I'm excited to work and I want to be here.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  In fact, I don't like the opposite is true. Fuck all of you guys and fuck any job that would require me to work in a team setting.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  I'm not doing that.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Fuck a job.

• 28:28Speaker 04

  Fuck a job.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  If you're listening to this right now and you have a job, quit.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  Quit.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Unless you work for me, quit your job.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Quit your job.

• 28:36Speaker 04

  Or if you work for anything that I enjoy or like, you know, any movies or TV shows that I enjoy, don't quit, like keep your job.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Most of my listeners, quit your job. Adele, let's restart your job.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  Adele.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Rihanna, get back to the original job.

• 28:48Speaker 04

  Yes. Listen to me very closely, Rihanna.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Rihanna.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  Studio now.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  Frank Ocean, join her.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Join Frank Ocean. Can I talk to you guys outside?

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Adele, quickly behind them. Adele, get back to that studio, girl.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Adele's being a mom.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, she needs to mother the microphone in the studio. Let's raise the volume in the headphones so she can lay down that track. I've had it. Adele, get to the studio, bitch. What is it? 34? Where are we at?

• 29:12Speaker 04

  Where are we? Where are we?

• 29:13Speaker 03

  37, 36. I don't know where you're at, girl.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Doesn't matter, girl.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Lock in.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  I feel like-

• 29:19Speaker 03

  And can I say another thing before we go?

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Yup, yup, yup.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Sam Smith?

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Sam Smith.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  Get back to the basics.

• 29:25Speaker 04

  We need the James Bond 8 soundtrack yesterday.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  I don't care what's happening in the body shop. Get on that piano and talk to me about unrequited love.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, mommy don't know.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Mommy don't know, and mommy don't wanna know.

• 29:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Sam, get in the studio and make some sad piano songs about being unlovable now.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Now.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Now.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I, I yearn for the era where there were a lot of big fat singers.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  Singing about, "Ain't nobody want me."

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Big bodied.

• 29:54Speaker 04

  Big bodied and able-bodied singers.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Big and able singers, singing about- Can I live? Yes, you can.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  Keep it going.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Your side. What?

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Next to you. We could do a live show.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  And we will. And Sam Smith, I wanna say to you-

• 30:14Speaker 04

  Furthermore.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Sam, get in the studio and make me some sad songs on the piano, and it's January when this episode comes out. I wanna see them in my inbox by February.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  That's enough time.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  Sam Smith, I have a different request.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  What are you doing?

• 30:29Speaker 04

  I want you to be happy. I want you to live in your truth.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  My fucking god.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  I want you to, don't listen to the opinions of gay comedians. They are not on your side. I'm on your side, okay? Sam Smith, we've been told, uh, I don't know if you get this as well, we look alike.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  What are you doing?

• 30:47Speaker 04

  I feel, just give me a second. I feel fiercely defensive of you because you see how he talks about you? Imagine how he talks about me behind closed doors, okay? I feel like if you were to put up a side-by-side of me and Sam Smith, twins.

• 31:03Speaker 01

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• 31:32Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the family holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, get a gift that'll cause a stir. A KitchenAid Stand Mixer. It's not just an appliance, it's a present to help them with the making. Year after year, recipe after recipe, you're enabling the family to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid Stand Mixer this year and make more than meals.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  Born from the intensity of a night in the Eternal City. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino.

• 32:10Speaker 02

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• 32:30Speaker 03

  Are you craving anything right now?

• 32:31Speaker 04

  Right now?

• 32:32Speaker 03

  In life, are you craving, are you hungry for anything?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  You know, can I, I, if I can just be honest?

• 32:39Speaker 03

  You can, really.

• 32:40Speaker 04

  I think Popeyes is back in a big way. And I know you weren't talking about food. You weren't talking about food.

• 32:44Speaker 03

  I was or I wasn't, but you're right, and I know that it's back.

• 32:47Speaker 04

  Popeyes had a second where they fell off for a minute. Popeyes is back. The spicy chicken sandwich is so delicious, and I was gonna beg you to take me there later. That's separate from, what am I craving in life?

• 32:57Speaker 03

  I'm not taking you to Popeyes in New York City, by the way.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  So why not?

• 33:00Speaker 03

  I'm not doing that. This reminds me of when you stayed at my house last and you ordered Cinnabon to the house. That really upset me, Brittany.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  Caleb, are you serious right now?

• 33:08Speaker 03

  I'm not taking you to Popeyes.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  Are you like actually fucking for real?

• 33:11Speaker 03

  I'm not doing it. If you lived here, it'd be one thing, but like you're visiting, I'm not taking you to Popeyes.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  You should understand more than most the appeal and charm of a chain restaurant.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  I do.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  And did I order that Cinnabon to his house? And was it cold and dry and bad? And was it $35? Yes, it was.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Yes, it was.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  And you will not let me forget it. And will I do it again? Yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  Cinnabon's really fucking good.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  I've ordered a triple dipper to my house before.

• 33:34Speaker 04

  See, you're getting it. I feel like... A chain restaurant.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Say it.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  You know what to expect every time you go in there. There's a comfort. It's like a warm hug from a friend you haven't seen in a long time.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:46Speaker 04

  Shared with company that gets it.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  I know you get a chain restaurant. You're from the Midwest, right?

• 33:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:51Speaker 04

  I'm from suburban South.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:54Speaker 04

  I love it and I will go to it every single time. I'm a bit iffy. I'm a bit iffy on these New York, LA places. What the fuck is that?

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Okay? And if you have less than a 4.5 on DoorDash, I'm not ordering.

• 34:05Speaker 03

  Thank you for saying that. I will tell you, there was one of the roughest periods of my life was a couple of years ago when I started getting invited to like nice restaurants. And I had to, in front of people I respect. Yes.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  I had to, in front of people I respect, learn about different types of food. Like, I remember, I very vividly remember sitting in a restaurant in LA with producers that I was trying to make something with. And they're like, "Do you want the crudo?" And I was like, "What's up?"

• 34:29Speaker 03

  The, um...

• 34:30Speaker 04

  The, um...

• 34:30Speaker 03

  The, you said crudo?

• 34:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, which is raw fish.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  Which is raw fish.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  And I said, "Oh, um, I'm not, I'm not eating crudo right now." And, and, and I'm not kidding you, they went, "What?"

• 34:43Speaker 03

  And I went, "Oh, I'm just not having crudo right now. I'm kind of off it."

• 34:45Speaker 04

  I'm off that stuff, man.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  I'm off crudo, yeah. Not knowing what it was at all.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  No, I don't, I don't mess around with that shit.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  No, and I love crudo, by the way.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  No, totally.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  And I just didn't know.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Cause I was a fool.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  I have a harrowing memory from when I was a child.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Tell me now.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  I went to a restaurant with my whole family. It was like a nice restaurant and...

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Papado's?

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Chili's.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  And we're sitting there and everyone's around, it's like sirloins and all this, which I don't know, jack shit. I'm 11, right? I don't know what a tender cut of meat is compared to like a filet mignon, T-bone. I don't fucking know. So I go, "I'm gonna order off this menu." I go, "I'll have the a la carte."

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Please.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  By the way, the a la carte menu, a list of, which I came to find out in my adulthood, individual items you can order. I said, "I'll have all of it." Yeah, just the a la carte. Thank you.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  My dad laughed so hard, I think he peed on himself. And I was like, that's, obviously, I'm never forgetting this.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 04

  Right? Obviously, that's impacted me in a huge way.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Clearly, this is foundational.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  It's, it's very transformative for me.

• 35:43Speaker 03

  Do you know, I had a similar thing once where I, all of my, um, like, my aunt and my uncle were in college at the time, and my dad worked at a college, and so they were all at Thanksgiving, talking about fonts.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  They were like, like fonts for pa- like, writing papers and stuff.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  Really intriguing conversation.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  They're like, I write mine in, uh, Calibri because it, it makes the pages go quicker. And someone's like, oh, I do Times New Roman because it's like more accepted in like this field of work or whatever. They were talking about fonts, and the only font I knew from computer class that I remembered was Comic Sans. And so I was kind of listening, I was waiting for my moment, and then a moment of silence came up, and I went, I like Comic Sans.

• 36:17Speaker 04

  I'm sure you do.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Like, I was like, I like Comic Sans, like, serious. Like, I was like, that's my font of choice, you know? And they all laughed so hard, and I'm, I'm dead, I went, what's, why, why are you laughing?

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Well, these like, I'm imagining them as these like stuffy British professor aunts and uncles, like, he likes Comic Sans.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  No, they were just like, that's the only font you know. And I was like, I was like, why are you laughing? And they're like, they're like, they felt bad immediately.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  They're like, no, that's a really good choice, we just haven't used it in a while.

• 36:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  And I was like, okay.

• 36:47Speaker 04

  Comic Sans was like papyrus, like.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  They laugh like that.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  God, I wish I had a laugh like that.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  I think.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Like, one that's like, kind of buried.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  Ooh, yeah, get older and richer, and you might develop an obnoxious laugh.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I hope to do both.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, and trust me, you do have an obnoxious laugh now. I'm just saying it could get worse.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  No, I know, people hate my laugh.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  I don't hate your laugh.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  No, people hate my laugh, I'm fucking useless.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  No, I hope you feel good that you got that joke off.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  I guess I'm stupid and fat and worthless, so.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess I'm fat and fucking ugly and stupid and gay.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, and bald.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  So, oh, that's awesome, I was hanging out with my friend and I learned, I'm stupid, fat, ugly, gay, worthless, broke.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Not funny.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  Oh, and nobody will ever love me. Oh, okay.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  Siri, play Sam Smith.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  That's awesome sauce.

• 37:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Can I? Say it.

• 37:33Speaker 04

  By your side.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Should, oh.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  Siri's doing it.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Should we do a song?

• 37:40Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Show?

• 37:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  Where we only cover old Sam Smith?

• 37:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, probably. Oh, she's actually playing Sam Smith. I'm not the only one.

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Baby, don't play Sam Smith, and I'm not the only one.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, you say I've created... I would like to do a cover show with you, just in general.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  I think we should. What's going on with music? Where are you at with music?

• 38:01Speaker 04

  Um, writing the album.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  Um, some, some red tape is happening behind the scenes.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  Uh, that is preventing me from doing my damn thing.

• 38:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:11Speaker 04

  And it's also this weird transition of going from this traditional, like, how I was instructed music, how I was told music is made versus how I actually want to make it. You know, like, being in a room with five different writers and two producers, and it's mastered by someone else who's never heard the song before and all. It's just like, whoa. We're taking a completely different approach now, where I wrote it all. I wrote every single lyric that's on the album. I have one or two other writers on the song with me who only helps with the melody, and then one producer for the whole thing. And it is so much better, and it's epic, and it's dramatic, and it's cinematic, and it's whimsical, and it's all of the things that I wish the first couple releases were.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  But you have to start somewhere with a creative endeavor, you know, so that you can continue to improve and build on it. I think it's raw narcissistic confidence. If a creative release is something and they say, "That's my best work ever." And then you never try to improve upon it. So that's, that's where the music is at.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  I love that. For your next album, I'd like to get me, you.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Sam Smith.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  A couple of, yes, Sam Smith, and then a couple of indie rockers in a studio in North Carolina.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  And I'd like us to fuck around. I mean, Adele, it's a thing where it's like every two years, we need... And of course, you know, you do things where you go, "I want artists to be happy. I want them to live their lives," to an extent.

• 39:32Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  To an extent. Put out the work.

• 39:34Speaker 04

  As long as you're living in the studio.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, live in the studio one month every two years.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Just put that record out.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  Top divas for you. Would you say Adele is one of the top divas for you?

• 39:45Speaker 03

  Adele is one of my top divas. Lauren Hill is one of my top divas.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Naturally, yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Lauren Hill's an all time diva.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  For me, because she put out one absolutely unimpeachable, impeccable piece of work and then said, "I'm kind of chill on all this."

• 40:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, she actually is the one exception.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  She's the one. I don't, I would never ask her to get back in the studio.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  She did, she did what she needed to do.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  She did what she needed to do, and then she gave us the MTV Unplugged recording, and I'm, of course, quite grateful for that. And Lauren Hill is just in a rarefied air where I say, "If you give us miseducation and then you decide you're done, I hear you."

• 40:19Speaker 04

  I'll accept that.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Other artists, pretty much every other artist, I'm gonna be asking for more.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm hungry.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  I feel a similar way about Beyonce. She has given us a lifetime, multiple lifetimes worth of life-changing art.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  I have not heard her stuff.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  She can say, "I'll put you onto her."

• 40:42Speaker 03

  Could you imagine if I've never heard a Beyonce song?

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Who is that?

• 40:45Speaker 03

  I go, "You said Beyonce?"

• 40:46Speaker 04

  Who is that?

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Hmm, I'll look into it. Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce, I am so sorry that an ugly ass bitch would even say some shit like that.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  I know.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Beyonce, you look like Luther Vandross.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Beyonce!

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Beyonce, bitch, you look like Luther Vandross. One of the all-time reads of my lifetime. "New York, you will always be famous." "New York, you will always be famous."

• 41:08Speaker 04

  The video of her smoking the cigarette in bed.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Just laughing and smiling.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  "New York, you will always be famous." She invented, and it is funny, like, we're in a moment in culture now where people are fans of reality TV stars, which I find quite funny, because ultimately, the impetus of that every time is like, "I love how you were such a bitch at dinner." It's like, okay.

• 41:26Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  That's crazy to be a fan of.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  You're a cunt.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, and New York originated it.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  A hundred percent.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  She's so fucking funny.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  I was doing an interview the other day, and they were like, "What's one of your favorite pop culture, the whatever of all time? Only thing in my head is, well, she passed away."

• 41:44Speaker 04

  Wendy Williams is another one.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Wendy, I'm gonna cry.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  She has given us, girl.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  I'm gonna cry.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Right?

• 41:50Speaker 03

  Hold my hand. Wendy Williams, let's say a prayer. Wendy Williams, we love you. We are so grateful for you. We wish you well.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  And.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  I call the bell sweets.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Amen. Amen. Wendy Williams has done it, girl.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  Wendy Williams has delivered so many pop culture moments. I also think of when she sneezed and farted and burped at the same time.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  I think of when she goes, what was that? James? James? And it comes back and it's an audience member in like a zombie mask.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 04

  I'm laughing.

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:27Speaker 04

  You know who's jealous of Adele? Beyonce.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Beyonce.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  She's, she's one of my like, wow, that was allowed on TV.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Well, Wendy Williams is what we're, we're missing a little bit in the culture right now. The same thing that Joan Rivers had.

• 42:39Speaker 04

  I was just about to say, we need a bitchy commentator.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  Somebody who just fucking tries it.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Who just says like, we'll see. I'm gonna say this and we'll see.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  I think the internet is too deeply misogynistic to ever let that happen again.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  I think the internet is just misogynistic enough for it to happen again.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  Who's gonna carry the torch?

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Who's to say?

• 43:00Speaker 04

  I like what you had to say about airport lounges.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Say it.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  You said, we need to like, we need to make the criteria for letting people into the airport lounges a bit higher.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Lock 'em up.

• 43:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. The line outside of the Delta Sky Club.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Line. Let's start there.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  Line.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Line.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Line because they're at full capacity.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Let's start there. There's a line.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  There's a line outside to get into the club.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  So I am paying for, through literal money and also my loyalty and points.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  I am paying for access to a space and there's a line. Does that sound like a nice experience to you? Hey.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  Hi, Delta. It's me.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Hi bitch.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  I'm gonna try on a new personality. Hi bitch. There's a line. Huh? That's my new guy.

• 43:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, you like that.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Hi bitch. Huh?

• 43:53Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  I think my show would grow tenfold if I started acting like that.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  I think if you wanted to do a root girl.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  The chicken salad. Hi bitch.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  Throw it out.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 44:04Speaker 04

  Do you ever dream about having a desk job?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  I had one.

• 44:11Speaker 04

  Again?

• 44:11Speaker 03

  For a long time. No, fuck no.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  I'll tell you what I do miss, and this is gonna come off unlikable and tone deaf.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  Thank you for clarifying.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  This is going to make me seem unlikable and tone deaf. I miss waiting tables. Now, do I miss it enough to go and do it?

• 44:27Speaker 04

  Right.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  No, but I miss it. I miss when my body was, I felt, I liked when my body was tired at the end of a day of work. I miss meeting new people. I miss knowing that if I fucking nailed it with every table, I would get more money at the end of the day. I miss leaving my job with that money.

• 44:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  And I miss the camaraderie of like every, I, I, I probably misguidedly still feel this. Every time I walk into a place, I feel connected to service workers because I did it. And that is not likeable. I do feel that and it's stupid of me because I'm so not anymore. But I miss when I did work in a restaurant, it was true.

• 45:00Speaker 04

  I totally get that though.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Do you know?

• 45:02Speaker 04

  You have the person, you know what? I said this on the podcast the other day. I am sexually attracted to whoever the fuck plays The Grinch at Universal Studios.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  You know, the like probably early forties witty guy, probably bald. Who sits in the makeup chair, gets dressed as The Grinch.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  And just is mean to people.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  There's a, a video that I love and we can get back to whatever the fuck you're saying. There's a video that I love of, there's a line of people in line to meet The Grinch at Universal Studios.

• 45:32Speaker 03

  A line.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  And a line. And he goes, "Grinch over here." And he just goes, coughs on him.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Well.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  That's funny to me.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  That is funny.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  He is so mean to these fucking people. I see shit like that and I'm like, in another life, that was me. Another life, that's the job I would want to have.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  So that's the job you do have right now. That's pretty much what you do.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  You go on your show and you, you like force like very notable people to come and like dress up in like medieval garb with you. You see like you are coughing on them in a way.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Spiritual cough.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Spiritual cough.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Yeah. You actually do have a point. Oh, I'm living my dream.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  I loved being on your show, by the way.

• 46:14Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  I thought it was beautiful.

• 46:16Speaker 04

  You just like being mean to me.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  I do. I thought it was beautiful that I finally came to a point where you just kind of had to have me on, even though it made no sense. You know, like it's funny that the roster of your show is all like dream guests that are very accomplished. And then there's like some guy you know, like that is ultimately very funny.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  No, but you know, that's our most viewed episode ever.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  I do, but I just think it's funny that like it came to a point where it was like, we kind of have to, it's like, I guess we'll have on Coleman Domingo, one of the most decorated, talented actors of our time. And then, yeah, I guess my buddy Caleb.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Like, I think that's very funny.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  My cousin, Cuzzo.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  I'll have Cuzzo on.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  I'll have Cuzzo on.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Hey, cuz.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, uh, no, you were one of clearly the most requested ever. And I was like, I'll look into this guy. I really am not that familiar.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  We'll see. If he gets his numbers up.

• 46:59Speaker 04

  Well, let's see some engagement.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  Let's get his followers up. Maybe he posts on Instagram more than once a month. Maybe, maybe he starts doing that.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, I'd just do anything of note.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  Anything at all.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  I think that would be helpful.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  Anything impressive.

• 47:12Speaker 03

  I think that would be completely helpful.

• 47:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Do you know, you know, Brittany, I'm single again. As you know.

• 47:18Speaker 04

  Look out, world.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  You have been, uh, you've been there with me every step of the way.

• 47:21Speaker 04

  I have.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  I was in a beautiful relationship that ended. And now I'm single again. What do you think I need to be focusing on right now?

• 47:31Speaker 04

  I think you need to be focusing on, um, being validated by men. I think you need to put all of your self-worth into whether or not a man likes you.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 47:42Speaker 04

  I think you need to worry about how you look.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  I think you need to worry about your intelligence and if you're good at your job.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  Okay. Those few things, if you just really put that like on your plate, everything else off. Okay. Movie.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:56Speaker 04

  Interview.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Podcast. I don't want to see it. Worry about what a man thinks about you. That's what you should, I think, take into the new year.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  My only value is what men think of me.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  My only concern is what men think of me.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  My every waking moment is consumed by what men think of me.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  You think you can do that?

• 48:16Speaker 03

  I worry about what men think of me. That's what you'd like to see?

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  I can do that.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  Hey, done.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  I can do that. I was 18 once. And I can, and I can go there again mentally.

• 48:28Speaker 04

  And did, and will.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  And did, and will, and would, and have, and should.

• 48:31Speaker 04

  And you want to know what another one of my so-trues was?

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Say it now.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  Stop thinking about men.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Whoa, I won't.

• 48:39Speaker 04

  Well, and you think I will either? No. But that's something where it's like, if someone says that in a group setting, it's like, oh, so true, queen.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  Right? Like, obviously I agree, but in practice, I'm thinking about men.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  I'm thinking about men.

• 48:50Speaker 04

  But not in a way, and I will, all credit to the most high, Drew F. Wallow.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:55Speaker 04

  She really changed my whole mental perspective on my relationship to and with male validation. And I got to a point, very genuinely, after my last horrific situation-ship.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Where I was like.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  I'll kill that guy, by the way.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  No, and he deserves death.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:12Speaker 04

  He deserves.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  I will never forget you telling me some of the details of this and me sitting there, mouth agape.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  Like, this is a person I have to harm.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. Am I Shrek to you?

• 49:22Speaker 03

  What am I to you?

• 49:23Speaker 04

  What am I to you, other than all I can come to the conclusion of, an ogre?

• 49:27Speaker 03

  Do you want to fuck me, or do you want to live in my swamp?

• 49:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, and turns out neither.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Neither.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  What's going on?

• 49:35Speaker 04

  And, and the thing is, is even if you want to live in my swamp, be a donkey at least.

• 49:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  Be, help out around the house.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  I asked him one time, I was cleaning the house, he was watching Love Island, gay.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Gay.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  You're gay.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  First of all, gay guy.

• 49:49Speaker 04

  Gay guy in my house, no thanks.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Sorry, I am, as a woman, by the way.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  I, as a woman, am cleaning the house, and you, a straight man, are watching Love Island on the couch? Open up the iPad and fire up Grindr.

• 50:01Speaker 04

  I'm telling you right now.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  You're gay.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  You're gay.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  You're gay.

• 50:05Speaker 04

  You're girly pop.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  You're gay.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  You're gay.

• 50:08Speaker 04

  And so, by the way, this was summertime Pride, happy Pride.

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Happy Pride. It's June and you're gay.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, and he's sitting on my couch, watching Love Island, and I go, "Hey babe, like, can you take out the trash?" Like, I'm actively vacuuming, I'm like, "Lift up your fucking legs." I go, "Can you take out the trash?" He goes, "Yeah, give me like 20 minutes, episode's almost over." Get your white ass up off of my leather couch and take the fucking trash out.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  Go.

• 50:33Speaker 04

  You succubus, stoner idiot.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  Homo, stand up.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  Homo.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  Homo. Get up and take the trash out, homo.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  Take the trash out, homo.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  There's trash in the house, homo, and it needs to go to the bin. Get up, gay, now.

• 50:47Speaker 04

  Gay!

• 50:48Speaker 03

  Before I throw a brick at you. Get up, gay. Get up, gay.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Get up, gay guy.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  Take out trash, gay.

• 50:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  What are you doing? Men, ooh.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  That's the eternal question, what, as a man, what are you doing?

• 51:01Speaker 03

  What are you doing, men? Myself excluded.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Stop doing it around me, not, not including you.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Myself excluded, yeah. There's something going on with men.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  Something. Oh, you wanna know what Annabelle said the other day?

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Tell me now.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  The other day, last night, about 12 hours ago. She go, actually, I'll read it. Cause I wrote it down because I was high and it made me laugh. And I was like, can't forget that. Read it back to myself this morning. Not funny.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Not that interesting, yeah.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah. What's in the air today? Dumbass gas? Idiot gas?

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Well, and someone's breathing deep.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  Someone's got the respirator on.

• 51:29Speaker 03

  There's idiot gas in the air and some of y'all are breathing deep.

• 51:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. You bitches got it. You, you bitches got an inhaler or something.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Okay. Okay.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  You bitches have like a fucking oxygen tank.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  Brittany, Brittany, ground, ground. Brittany, ground.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  Yo, dumbass gas in the air. You bitches are sucking it.

• 51:44Speaker 03

  Brittany, touch something, touch something. Touch three things.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  I need to knit. That's why I brought my knitting.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  You brought the knitting. You've only, you've only wielded it to like make a point. You've not knitted once.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, cause here's the thing. I thought there was gonna be a podcast stand. I thought there was gonna be a mic stand.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  No, we hold them on here. We hold them on. The budget's been cut. Yeah, cause you won't come on that often.

• 52:01Speaker 04

  Well, here I am.

• 52:02Speaker 03

  If you'd come on more, we'd make more money.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  I'm supporting queer art.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  You are. And you always have.

• 52:07Speaker 04

  And when you came on my show, you were also supporting queer art.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  I was, my own.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was promoting myself.

• 52:12Speaker 04

  Promoting queer art.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, promoting, promoting myself as a queer artiste.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 52:18Speaker 03

  What do you think? Here's what I'm gonna ask you.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  Let me know.

• 52:20Speaker 03

  What do you think's going on with the culture right now? What is your view of 2026? How do you feel about 2025? What happened? What is going to need to happen for 2026?

• 52:30Speaker 04

  2025 was full of lies. It was full of vitriol.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  It was, it was full of horrible friendships being torn apart.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Bitter endings.

• 52:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  2026 is about rebirth.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  No, in all seriousness, 2025 was probably one of the best years of my life.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Same.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was like truly unimaginable personal growth and reconnecting with friends and rediscovering myself. And I think I'm the best version of myself I've ever been. I finally, like I said, got to a point where I truly could give a fuck about a man's opinion of me. Because if I like it, then that means it's probably cool.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  And that means that there's a whole community of cool people that agree with me. So, once you remove, like... Men and their nasty ass incorrect tasteless opinions. You're able to live freely. Sorry, guys, anyone in this room. 2026, I'm seeing more of that. I'm also seeing probably like fashion trends of the 2014, 2015 era coming back.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  Infinity scarves, probably. Galaxy print leggings. We're already seeing printed leggings.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  We're seeing a lot of high-waisted jeans, low-rise jeans as well, and like oversized sweaters. It's very, we're back on Tumblr.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Yes. I think for 2026, I see ordering for the table. I see board games. Uh, board games coming back in a major way.

• 53:57Speaker 04

  Board games? Are card games included in that?

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Card games, board games, manual physical games.

• 54:02Speaker 04

  I completely agree.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  Screenless nights with friends.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  Screenless nights with friends.

• 54:09Speaker 04

  A card game with your friends.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  Screenless nights with friends. We gather and there's not a screen involved.

• 54:14Speaker 04

  No, no phones in sight.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Cards, board games, walking, eating, talking.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Homemade meals with your friends.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  Homemade meals. Screenless nights with friends.

• 54:23Speaker 04

  With friends.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  If you can hear me now, I would like you to have a screenless night with friends. That is coming out big in 2026.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  100%.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  Long walks.

• 54:32Speaker 04

  How about this? Long walks, crafts.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  Crafts.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, I taught myself how to sew.

• 54:35Speaker 03

  Crafts, sewing.

• 54:37Speaker 04

  Sewing.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Things that have to do with the hands.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Ooh, yeah.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Screenless handwork.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Screenless handjobs are back in 2026.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  Jerk someone off today.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Please jerk someone off today. And you don't have to use your mouth. That's so, it's past.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  Jerk someone off now and only suck it a little if you want to.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, I also learned what a rusty trumpet is.

• 54:55Speaker 03

  Tell me now.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  So rusty trumpet is actually when you're like eating the ass from, from, and it's like brown. And then you're also jerking it off. So it's like a rusty trumpet.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  So handjobs are back.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Screenless nights with friends, long walks, ordering for the table, homemade meals, enjoying your friends.

• 55:17Speaker 04

  Jerking it off from the back.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Jerking it off from the back.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  With your friends, with your friends.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  With your friends.

• 55:21Speaker 04

  Not on your phone.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Enjoying life, joie de vivre.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Joy, joie de vivre.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  Joie de vivre, earnest enjoyment of the things you like with no apologies.

• 55:30Speaker 04

  Say that.

• 55:30Speaker 03

  No apologies.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Be a nerd, 2026, be a nerd.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Nerd time.

• 55:33Speaker 04

  Nerding.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  Two of the hottest, coolest people I know just asked me to do D and D with them. I was shocked and I'm going to.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Caleb, can I come?

• 55:40Speaker 03

  Come, you'd love these people.

• 55:42Speaker 04

  Who is it? Is it Heidi in closet?

• 55:43Speaker 03

  No, I will tell you who it is off camera.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Okay, love it.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Cause I don't want to out them in case they don't want people to know they're getting into D and D. I don't know what kind of community that is.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  I don't know much about D and D.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah. I know they're serious.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  And yes, that goes into screenless nights with friends. What else is going on? The male Ugg. There has been a cultural caution around the male Ugg.

• 56:06Speaker 04

  Mind you, he's wearing male Uggs.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  And I have another pair, the short booties.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  You're wearing the booties.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  I'm getting into male Uggs, short booties. If you are a man.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  You should not be wearing the tall Uggs.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  That's not for you.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  Cause it's gay.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  No, it's ugly.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  No, it's ugly. I think the short booties are a little gay. Male Uggs are coming back in 2026.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  Are Birkenstocks out?

• 56:30Speaker 03

  Birkenstocks are still in.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  Also, in for 2026, making playlists for your friends.

• 56:37Speaker 04

  100%.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  Make a playlist for your friends now.

• 56:40Speaker 04

  Make a playlist for each friend now. I think also make a playlist for screenless nights with friends.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Screenless nights with friends, make that playlist.

• 56:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Also.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  Bossa nova.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  Bossa nova. Go to random events.

• 56:52Speaker 04

  This was gonna be one of my so truths actually, because I did prepare five, in fact. Say yes.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Say yes, 2026, yes.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  The cost of community is inconvenience.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  Yes, say it.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  Say yes.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  Everyone wants a village, nobody wants to be a villager. In 2026.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  Be a villager.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  We're saying yes to villager.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  We're saying no to isolation.

• 57:13Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  In 20, I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it. In 2026, we're saying no to isolation, no to depression. No to sadness.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  Say no to mental health.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  Say no to mental health and say yes to getting over yourself and saying yes. We're saying yes in 2026. We're having fun. We're going to random events. We're taking a trip.

• 57:31Speaker 04

  Yes, we are taking a trip.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Taking a trip with our friends.

• 57:33Speaker 04

  We're saving up. We're not over consuming.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  We're not over consuming.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  We're saving up that money to put towards an experience with your friends.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  We need experiences. We don't need stuff or things. We're having fun. If you have a job you hate, no matter the consequences, we're quitting it in 2026.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  Quit.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  Go with me.

• 57:53Speaker 04

  And now.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Go with me.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  Guys, you, who needs health insurance?

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Quit your job.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  You quit the job now, work in the service industry.

• 57:59Speaker 03

  Quit your job, get rid of your health insurance. 2026, everyone who listens to this podcast, you will be blessed beyond measure. If you are seeing this video, if you're hearing this audio.

• 58:09Speaker 04

  Money coming your way.

• 58:09Speaker 03

  In 2026, there's money coming your way. There is, there are levels of love you could never have imagined.

• 58:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, that you haven't unlocked yet.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  There's wonder and whimsy and experiences. The best things are ahead. The best things are ahead for you.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  You are anointed in this moment.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  In 2026 and beyond, if you can see this video, if you can hear this audio.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  Like and reshare.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  Like and reshare because the best things are ahead for you. No one can harm you. You've never done anything wrong. Everything is going well.

• 58:32Speaker 04

  You're always right.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  You are right. Say yes.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  Say yes, and also comment to claim.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Comment to claim, and you must claim.

• 58:40Speaker 04

  You must claim it.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  You must claim.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  Or it won't come true.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Because if you don't claim, you cannot have. You must claim.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  You must, and if you are not in a position of having, then you should get there from the yearning.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Yarn until you have, and once this, oh, Brittany.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  This is an important part.

• 58:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  Yarn until, yarn.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  Yarn.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  I beg you to yarn.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Your being, you should be yearning.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Yarn, but once you have.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  Spiral.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Spiral. Crash out and do not know how to enjoy it.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, and lose it.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Want until you have, and then freak the fuck out.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  I can do that.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  I want you to want constantly.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  And once you have, I want you to sabotage.

• 59:22Speaker 04

  2026, become insatiable.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  Yes. Never, never have enough.

• 59:26Speaker 04

  Never, never have enough.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Not, these are-

• 59:28Speaker 04

  Never enough.

• 59:29Speaker 03

  Never enough. These are jokes, the last part.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  A lot of it was serious up until then.

• 59:33Speaker 04

  Everything else is serious.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  I want everyone to live well in 2026. I'm tired, I'm tired, Brittany. I'm tired of bad news.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  And bad vibes.

• 59:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  Let's lighten it up.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  Guys, get happy now.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Get happy now.

• 59:48Speaker 04

  Everyone get happy now.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  You know that I've been auditioning as my potential word of the year for 2026. And by the time this episode comes out, I will have decided. But right now, when we're recording in December, I have been auditioning the word lightheartedness for 2026 as my word of the year.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  Lightheartedness.

• 1:00:02Speaker 03

  As my word of the year.

• 1:00:04Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  I've been auditioning it.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Nothing's too serious.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  Nothing's too serious, lightheartedness, everything can be light. I have also been auditioning, sometimes it's a word, sometimes it's a phrase. I have been auditioning for 2026, the phrase, "All the best things are ahead of me."

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  Because I believe that they are.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  Brittany, I believe that they are.

• 1:00:22Speaker 04

  You know, I am, uh, excited

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  to see you finally have some success in something.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Yes. I would like to succeed.

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  I'm really looking forward to it.

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  But can I tell you something?

• 1:00:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  I don't care if I succeed. Because, um, I got everything I need.

• 1:00:41Speaker 04

  Oh, in this room?

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:45Speaker 04

  Caleb.

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  I got my girls, right?

• 1:00:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  And I have, um-

• 1:00:49Speaker 04

  Your male Uggs?

• 1:00:49Speaker 03

  I have my male Uggs and my mugs.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  Mugs.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  And, um-

• 1:00:54Speaker 04

  Mama, this mug, "Huntie Boot Down," it's giving trade.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  Addison Rae, mother, mother alert, Zara Larson out of the Kia asylum.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  So, I don't know why you're talking like that. But I'm getting really, really scared.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  I'm getting really mad.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  I'm getting really scared.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  I'm trying to communicate with the.

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  So you've upset me a lot.

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. Are we really doing this?

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  I have a segment for you.

• 1:01:30Speaker 04

  You love a damn game.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  I have a game for you.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  This damn ass game.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  You love this game.

• 1:01:34Speaker 04

  I do. Let's do it.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  Brittany, I'm gonna read you 15 statements.

• 1:01:37Speaker 04

  I'm sure you will.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said was true or false.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Honey, if you get 10 or more correct, sugar, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

• 1:01:47Speaker 04

  Honey.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  Honey.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  I'm down.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  Boots?

• 1:01:49Speaker 04

  Boots. Wait, cunt?

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  Cunt? Wig? Did you just say wig?

• 1:01:54Speaker 04

  Did you just say wig?

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Wig.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Bats are the only flying mammals.

• 1:02:00Speaker 04

  That is true.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  True. Russia has 11 time zones.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, obviously, that's true.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  True. The Amazon River is the longest river in the world.

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  False. It's the Nile River.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  Yes, it is.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  The average human sneeze can be clocked at 100 miles per hour.

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  True. Texas A&M's school newspaper is the Reveler.

• 1:02:15Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  False. The Battalion.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is the Battalion.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Saffron is the world's most expensive spice.

• 1:02:19Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  True. CVS stands for Consumer Value Stores.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  True. HEB stands for Howard Edward Butt.

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  False.

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  Ants can lift up to 100 times their body weight.

• 1:02:28Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:02:29Speaker 03

  False. Up to 5,000 times their body weight.

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  See, I don't like ones like that where you get them.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  When it is true, but the magnitude has been skewed. You're pissing me off.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  Keep fucking going.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Greenland is the largest island in the world.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Greenland?

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  Greenland is the largest island in the world. Wrong.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:02:49Speaker 04

  It's Australia.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Technically, we're all islands.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  Greenland, true. Don't, please.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Please. Hosier is 6'2".

• 1:02:59Speaker 04

  False. He's taller.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  False. He's 6'6".

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  Shrek has a longer runtime than Shrek 2.

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  False. There are 100 US senators.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  There's 50 states and there's two from each state. Ho.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  Raising Canes is older than Timothee Chalamet.

• 1:03:15Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  False. Sound waves travel faster in water than they do in air.

• 1:03:19Speaker 04

  True.

• 1:03:19Speaker 03

  True. How'd you do? Nine. Oh, Brittany. You needed to get 10.

• 1:03:25Speaker 04

  Can you do it again and I'll answer them right?

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  That, you, this is the. It is so funny you say that because we recorded Kumail this morning and he said the exact same thing. He goes, run it again, I'll get them right.

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, do it again, I'll know the answer.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  But you know what's funny is I probably wouldn't. I'd forget.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. Can I ask you a question?

• 1:03:39Speaker 04

  Please.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  You wake up five years from now.

• 1:03:44Speaker 04

  You love this question.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  What's your perfect day?

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  My perfect day?

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  And don't be fucking silly with me for once. It wouldn't fucking kill you to give one artist dancer on my show.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  For you, I will. Ready? I wake up.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  Blessings.

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  Nothing to do. Nothing to do.

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  I, I share a bed with my Irishman, okay? We open the, the verand- the, um, French doors, the French windows, the, the double doors.

• 1:04:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, just pick one, yeah.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  There's curtains blowing in the breeze, the smell of an orange tree waffs in. We don't speak to each other. We are, he makes me coffee, I read in bed, okay? I haven't gotten out of bed yet. We're reading in bed, uh, we're maybe kissing, we're rolling around.

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  How are you gonna do that while you're reading?

• 1:04:38Speaker 04

  Um, because I'll have finished reading by that point.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:04:40Speaker 04

  Okay, is that making sense? So then we'll start to watch TV. Then we'll start to watch TV.

• 1:04:48Speaker 04

  Then we'll might, we'll get up, we'll start doing whatever. We have a big dinner party that night.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  Oh my goodness.

• 1:04:52Speaker 04

  Okay, we have dinner party, we're hosting, because that's my dream, I love to host.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Oh me.

• 1:04:56Speaker 04

  I start prepping some of the meals, I'm cooking, I do like to cook for my friends.

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  You do.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  But then they also bring potluck style, okay? The shit that I don't really care to make, like desserts and whatever. I don't like to bake, I like to cook.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  Uh, they bring all that, we do a nice big, I have crafted, me and, me and my man have crafted little name cards out of air dry clay.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:16Speaker 04

  Okay, we've done little crafts that make it, like the candles we've made, our own, um, from wax and scented stuff, everything, the table's set beautifully. We have a beautiful night, screenless night with friends, we play cards.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  Screenless night with friends.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  We don't watch a movie, we don't have to do any of that, we're laughing, we're doing bits, maybe the edibles are broken out, we're pee- I want people peeing in their pants, they're laughing so hard.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:38Speaker 04

  Um, maybe one or two people gets a little too drunk, too high, they spend the night, because I have guest rooms.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  That's me.

• 1:05:43Speaker 04

  That's my dream.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  I'm high and I'm sleeping over.

• 1:05:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're high and we're gonna drag you out by your ankles.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  I'm so stoned you can't put me in an Uber. Yeah.

• 1:05:49Speaker 04

  Tough.

• 1:05:50Speaker 03

  That's the way I get it, it's screenless night with friends, yeah.

• 1:05:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're so stoned, we, we give you a sippy cup with water.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:05:54Speaker 04

  We say, just figure it out.

• 1:05:55Speaker 03

  You place me in bed.

• 1:05:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:58Speaker 04

  Um, please don't get up and wander into our room because you like to do that.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  I do.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  You like to do that.

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  Well, if it's scary, I throw up, yeah.

• 1:06:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, it is scary at night. It's dark. Um, that's my perfect night. We go to bed and I, I go to bed with my Irishman. He cleans the kitchen. Oh, he cleans the kitchen.

• 1:06:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 04

  You take out the trash once you're not high.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  Once you're not that high.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  I'll do it in the morning, yeah.

• 1:06:16Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, and then we go to bed and then we wake up. We all get breakfast.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  Okay, and then everyone goes home.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  Yeah. It's my perfect day, which honestly, I know you do this thought experiment with a lot of people and you called out that it's just peace.

• 1:06:31Speaker 03

  Freedom, peace and freedom.

• 1:06:32Speaker 04

  Peace and freedom.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  Peace and freedom. I ask people this question a lot, uh, like dinner and stuff, and the number one thing I've noticed, I've been asking it for years of many different types of people. The number one thing people seem to want is freedom. Just the freedom to do what they would like to do.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  How?

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  And people have different, varying levels of structure, varying levels of engagement with others. Some people have work included in their perfect day. They like, and then, and there are times when I answer it that I do, that I'm like, you know, I actually would like to, it seems like I'd like to work a little bit. But freedom is the number one thing that they go, if I don't want to do something I was supposed to do, I don't have to. They want freedom.

• 1:07:05Speaker 04

  And there's no, there's no rigid consequence to it as well. I think that's beautiful. You know, a question I started asking some of the guests on Royal Court is what type of old man do you think you'll be?

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  Uh.

• 1:07:14Speaker 04

  Just an old person?

• 1:07:15Speaker 03

  You know, for the, for the longest time, I could never picture myself old.

• 1:07:19Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:07:20Speaker 03

  I could never, like, when I was growing up and stuff, I never pictured myself old.

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  Like, in, in, like, in a way where I was like, I don't think I'm gonna live to be old. I don't know why. There was nothing wrong.

• 1:07:28Speaker 04

  What is that supposed to mean?

• 1:07:29Speaker 03

  I have no fucking clue. It was obviously very weird and sad, but I know a lot of people relate to it, and a lot of queer people I've heard this from, so I'm sure there's something about that.

• 1:07:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, something deep there that I don't really, we won't get into it.

• 1:07:38Speaker 03

  I'm not interested in checking that out.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40Speaker 03

  I would say in the last five years, I've finally started to see myself as an old person.

• 1:07:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  And I like him.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  I like him.

• 1:07:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  I think I'm gonna be a silly old person.

• 1:07:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're gonna be the guy in the shop that, like, makes everyone laugh.

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm gonna do like little faces for the kids and shit. I'm gonna be like the house that goes crazy on Halloween and all the kids wanna come for the candy.

• 1:07:59Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be hopefully, by the time I'm old, I hope I'm the parent of adult children. I hope I have, like, adult kids by then.

• 1:08:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  And I'm gonna be a really good grandparent and I'm gonna be wearing really cute fits.

• 1:08:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be like, not like too stylish. I don't like when an old man is too stylish. Like, I don't like seeing an old man in, like, couture.

• 1:08:17Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  It's not fun for me.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  It upsets me. Not because they can't. I'm just like, I don't, I'm not interested in it. I wanna be stylish in more of a Diane Keaton way.

• 1:08:27Speaker 04

  Covered from neck to toe.

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  Just fucking big flowy shirts.

• 1:08:32Speaker 04

  Thick turtlenecks.

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  Thick turtlenecks, little hats.

• 1:08:34Speaker 04

  Gloves.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  Comfy pants, gloves.

• 1:08:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  I want to be giving like, I want to be giving like comfy older person who has a stylish little chic flair with it.

• 1:08:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like that.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  Gay, but not noticeably.

• 1:08:46Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:08:46Speaker 04

  But like, if you thought about it, you would know.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I love that for you.

• 1:08:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:51Speaker 04

  I do love that. I want to be something a bit similar, but I want to be a bit more, I never want kids. So I think the freedom that that allows is wow, my whole life, I just get to really do me.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  But you'll never know true love.

• 1:09:04Speaker 04

  Says who?

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  Me.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  You need to grow up.

• 1:09:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Speaker 04

  You need to get that out of your fucking head.

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  No, I'm just kidding. I do think that's funny though, when people say that, when people who have kids, they're like, yeah, you're free, but at what cost? That's like their, that's like their POV for real.

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  That's.

• 1:09:19Speaker 03

  It's really funny.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  Harrowing because I get a lot of TikToks of like, I love my daughter, but if I could do this all again, I would not have a kid. Imagine your mother getting on TikTok and saying that, but she probably has.

• 1:09:29Speaker 03

  You're getting served. Mine?

• 1:09:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yours.

• 1:09:32Speaker 03

  Oh, Brittany, that's horrible.

• 1:09:33Speaker 04

  It's a joke, Caleb. We're doing, we're doing this.

• 1:09:36Speaker 03

  Goodness, Brittany, that's horrible.

• 1:09:39Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  Brittany, I just love you so much.

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  You know I love you.

• 1:09:43Speaker 03

  I don't want this to end. Is that crazy?

• 1:09:45Speaker 04

  Well, how about you and me go get some lunch?

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  I know that you're hungry.

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  I am hungry.

• 1:09:50Speaker 03

  We ordered lunch here before you came and you got, you received the order form, but you didn't order anything.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  When was that sent?

• 1:09:57Speaker 03

  Yesterday, a full day in advance. Yeah. And you know what's funny? Virginia actually texted me and said, hey, Brittany doesn't respond to this email when I email her. You might want to text her the lunch order. And I forgot to do it. So actually, there was actually a system in place to make sure that you were taken care of. And I forgot to do the double step. So that's on me.

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  It's fine because I think things happen for a reason and all roads lead to Cinnabon.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  There is not a road leading to Cinnabon today. I'm not taking you-

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  There might be a DoorDash driver leaving to-

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  I'm not taking you to Popeyes or Cinnabon, Brittany.

• 1:10:27Speaker 04

  Are you actually fucking for real?

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm fucking for real. I'm gonna take you somewhere good and local.

• 1:10:32Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:10:33Speaker 03

  You're gonna patronize a local business today.

• 1:10:36Speaker 04

  We're gonna raise the decibels in this local business.

• 1:10:38Speaker 03

  I'm taking you kicking and screaming into a small owned business.

• 1:10:41Speaker 04

  You know what? I'll allow it, just for today.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Just for today?

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  Just for today?

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  I love you so much. Is there anything we didn't talk about? God, we might not do this again for a long time. Is there anything you wanna talk about that we didn't get into?

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  Why would you say that?

• 1:10:50Speaker 03

  We might not. We're busy. You're places on places.

• 1:10:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I'll be back here in six months. We'll do this again.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. We did, you and I did concept a while, a while back. A show called Porch Sitting.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  Porch Sitting.

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  Where we sit on a porch.

• 1:11:02Speaker 04

  And just-

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  And just fucking gab.

• 1:11:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 03

  And I don't think that either of us is in a place to do it anytime soon.

• 1:11:08Speaker 04

  No, that's when we're like 40s.

• 1:11:10Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  There's a future where we do this.

• 1:11:13Speaker 04

  And it will be happening.

• 1:11:14Speaker 03

  And first guest? Drew.

• 1:11:17Speaker 04

  Drew. It would be Drew.

• 1:11:18Speaker 03

  I do love Drew.

• 1:11:19Speaker 04

  Trixie.

• 1:11:20Speaker 03

  Trixie.

• 1:11:21Speaker 04

  And no one else, really. Chris.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  We'll do one episode with Drew, one episode with Trixie, one episode with Chris. We call it.

• 1:11:27Speaker 04

  It's a limited series.

• 1:11:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Yeah. I do think that that is, um, oh, here's something else I wanna talk about. I'm not done yet.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  Have you thought about, or have we talked about this before, of if all this went away tomorrow, what would you do?

• 1:11:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've got several ideas.

• 1:11:42Speaker 04

  Yeah. Let me know.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  I don't have enough money put away yet to accomplish this, but I'm trying to put money away to the effect that I would get a farm somewhere and learn how to farm. And no, it's not easy. I know it'd be very hard. I just legitimately, I think that if I wasn't doing this, I think I'd like to do a total 180 where my life has like-

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  You'd be tending to the land.

• 1:11:59Speaker 03

  Real, like, hard work. I think that's one thing I would do. Or I would, um, when you say all of this went away, like, could I go write books or that's not a possibility anymore either? Like, I get, like, full-scale canceled or something.

• 1:12:12Speaker 04

  It would be like you don't have the platform that you do.

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, I would probably, I have the house in Kansas City. I would probably just move back to Kansas City and I actually did, um, I did think about this recently that I was like, I was having some anxiety about, uh, people were mad at me online for something. I don't even remember what, to be 100% honest. But it was something that people were being annoying to me about in my tagged stories.

• 1:12:35Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  And I, um, I thought like, man, what if I just quit all this? And I don't want to, cause I love my life, but that thought comes up sometimes.

• 1:12:41Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:12:42Speaker 03

  And I thought, well, as long as you had enough money to pay off the house, I would probably just, like, go, uh, volunteer with KC tenants as much as I could. Like just volunteer with the tenant union because I love all those people and I love that thing. So I'm like, if I had money to live enough, I'm assuming that I would have enough money coming in residually for at least a while to just like go away and do that. And then I would have to figure something else out eventually.

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  But you would. I think all roads would lead back to you having a creative pursuit in some regard.

• 1:13:11Speaker 03

  I'll always be making, I need it to live. I need it to live.

• 1:13:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:15Speaker 03

  I literally am supposed to be taking a break right now and I did two shows last night.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  You literally cannot help it.

• 1:13:20Speaker 03

  I like it. There's new stuff I want to talk about. I like it.

• 1:13:22Speaker 04

  You know, I'm hoping for 2026, I can get to a place where I'm bored again.

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:27Speaker 04

  Some of my best, like the most fun that I have making things or creating things or coming up with ideas for whatever is when I'm bored to tears. And I haven't been bored for a long time. And I've gotten to this place where it's like, I need to juice up and be just cracked out on an energy drink to be able to be like, you don't need to do all that.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  You don't need to do it because it's in here.

• 1:13:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:51Speaker 04

  Oh, I think also, what's up?

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  No, no, I'm listening.

• 1:13:54Speaker 04

  I was gonna say that and my version is I'd go back to school.

• 1:13:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, I crave academicism.

• 1:14:01Speaker 03

  Do you know what? That is another thing. If I could get, if I could get in somewhere, I actually might do this anyway. I've kind of dreamed of taking a year or two off and going and getting a master's in divinity. And like studying religion.

• 1:14:14Speaker 04

  You're kidding.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't want to like be a preacher or anything, but I would like to go and spend a year like at a really good, what are they called? The?

• 1:14:22Speaker 04

  Theology?

• 1:14:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they're a really good the.

• 1:14:26Speaker 04

  Despian.

• 1:14:27Speaker 03

  Um, but a really good MDiv program and going and learning about just like faith and religion and like talking with other people like that.

• 1:14:34Speaker 04

  Very tea because I feel like that's one of the only honest places you could actually have an academic discourse about true, genuine questions about it. And also to have a curriculum to study the texts and, and have a discussion based classroom. I think that's really. I love.

• 1:14:51Speaker 03

  And for most people that I know that have an MDiv, their class was very diverse. It was like people that were there that were Muslim and people that were Jewish and people that were atheist and people that were Christian.

• 1:15:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, love.

• 1:15:02Speaker 03

  It seems like a space where you can very academically talk with a very diverse group of people on purpose, in a continued way.

• 1:15:09Speaker 04

  And no judgment.

• 1:15:10Speaker 03

  That would be really nice.

• 1:15:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, imagine.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:12Speaker 04

  Imagine that. And oh, you don't want to do it in TikTok comment sections?

• 1:15:15Speaker 03

  No, not anymore.

• 1:15:16Speaker 04

  That's random.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  Not anymore. I had fun with that for a while.

• 1:15:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:19Speaker 04

  On Twitter?

• 1:15:19Speaker 03

  I did see a girl on TikTok recently that her thing is like, her thing is like walking around just like saying moral dilemmas that have already been established. And she's like, she's like, so there's a train on a track.

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  And if you do nothing, it kills one person, but if you change it, it kills five or whatever.

• 1:15:39Speaker 04

  And people just talk in the comments?

• 1:15:41Speaker 03

  And then people are in the comments being like, I think I would pull the lever. And it's like, they're literally, and her whole thing is just repeating these. She's like, so a man in a white coat tells you to push a button. You hear a scream in the other room. Would you push it? And people were in the comments being like, I wouldn't push it. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on?

• 1:15:58Speaker 04

  Ever heard of World War II, sweetie?

• 1:16:00Speaker 03

  Stop it.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, how about this? Um, that, and I forgot what I was gonna say. Hold on, say it again.

• 1:16:09Speaker 03

  If there was a man in a white coat and you pushed a-

• 1:16:12Speaker 04

  Oh, here's what I was gonna say. Thank you. One must imagine Sisyphus creating TikTok philosophy videos.

• 1:16:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, have to.

• 1:16:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:19Speaker 03

  One must imagine that.

• 1:16:20Speaker 04

  One must imagine. I think it's so funny when you can clearly tell, just from being on the internet for that long, this is recycled content. And it's like, anyone can do a TikTok caption and do, and point to it with like a trending audio and then it gets seven million likes and it's like, totally. But I don't feel, I have this strange relationship to that type of content now where I'm like, this will always happen.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:44Speaker 04

  And where are you gonna be in a year? You know, like this, I want to comment like, young Padawan.

• 1:16:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:50Speaker 04

  This is bottomless.

• 1:16:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:52Speaker 04

  This is an infinite well.

• 1:16:53Speaker 03

  You could do this forever.

• 1:16:53Speaker 04

  You could do this forever.

• 1:16:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's why I'm kind of getting interested in, well, I've always been interested in live performance, but I'm kind of getting, I'm starting to spend my brain on theater a little bit and being like, is there a theater piece I'd like to do? Because I increasingly, as everything becomes AI and as all these companies become one super company called like, watch it or whatever the fuck.

• 1:17:10Speaker 04

  Watch it now plus.

• 1:17:11Speaker 03

  Whatever the fuck they're doing. Watch it. Uh, watch it. Plus, plus, plus. Deliverable. Like, I don't, they're all becoming like one company. I don't know. I'm scared.

• 1:17:18Speaker 04

  It's very scary.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  And everything's AI. You can't really trust anything anymore. I'm like, the thing that we can trust is being in rooms with strangers.

• 1:17:24Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 1:17:25Speaker 03

  That we can trust that that is real. And there's only really one really negative outcome of that. And we're obviously not doing anything about that.

• 1:17:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:34Speaker 03

  You know, shootings, but.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  Oh, COVID.

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  COVID. Yeah. Well, we did something about that. We started ignoring it. And Brittany, I love you so much.

• 1:17:42Speaker 04

  I love you, girl.

• 1:17:44Speaker 03

  I want to turn these cameras off. I want to go get stoned with you and I want to find lunch.

• 1:17:48Speaker 04

  You know what? I could be down.

• 1:17:50Speaker 03

  Do you want to tell people where they can find you?

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  You can find me, Brittany Broski, on The Broski Report. It's a podcast. I talk to myself. You guys might like it. You can find me on Royal Court. It's my celebrity interview show. It's medieval themed, as Caleb so sillily pointed out. We've had him on. If you're a fan of him, you might be a fan of my show. Okay? We've also had Drew, Trixie, all the classic characters in our gang we've had on the show. You can go check it out there. You can check me out on Red Carpets. I host stuff. I do college shows. If you want to book me, my email's in my bio. Um, I do birthdays. And I love you guys and I love you.

• 1:18:29Speaker 03

  I love you so much, dude.

• 1:18:30Speaker 04

  Oh, and I also post YouTube videos now. We're back in 2026 on the Brittany Broski YouTube channel. That's three channels, three free channels, content for free all the time. You want merch? I've got broski.shop. Guys, come on.

• 1:18:43Speaker 03

  I love you.

• 1:18:44Speaker 04

  Love you.

• 1:18:45Speaker 03

  Bye for now.

• 1:18:46Speaker 04

  Bye for now. I'll be back in six months.

• 1:18:47Speaker 03

  You're welcome. Bye.

• 1:18:49Speaker 00

  Let's be honest. You don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

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• 1:19:35Speaker 05

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