The Loophole - Snap Classic

Have you ever wanted something so badly you’d do anything to make it happen? Sixteen-year-old Mohamed decides to dig deep in his religion to take the next step with his crush. There’s no love like young love… especially when it’s a secret. This story contains strong language, discusses sexuality, and mentions corporal punishment. Please take care while listening. BIG thanks to Mohamed Ali for sharing his story with us! Mohamed is an artist and comedian, he just got back to Canada after spending the last few years working and performing in Southeast Asia. Check out his Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/mohamed.a.ali/ Special thanks to Zahra Noorbakhsh. Big thanks as well to Zaiba Hasan & her crew from the podcast Mommying While Muslim https://mommyingwhilemuslim.com/. Produced by Regina Bediako, original score by Renzo Gorrio, artwork by Teo Ducot. Snap Music Spotlight: “Honest” https://smartbomboakland.bandcamp.com/album/water-for-the-town-v-4 by Jada Imani (produced by Dakim) Jada Imani https://www.jadaimani.info/ is an East St. Louis-born, Bay Area-raised Hip-Hop R&B artist and organizer. In addition to a whole bunch of great music, Jada recently launched a new product line called “Good For The Soul” https://jadaimani.bandcamp.com/. Be sure to check out her Patreon http://patreon.com/JadaImani510 and follow her on social media https://www.instagram.com/jadaimani510/! This song comes to us from the compilation Water For The Town Vol. 4 https://smartbomboakland.bandcamp.com/album/water-for-the-town-v-4, a project series from SmartBomb http://smartbomboakland.com/ created to raise mutual aid and awareness for various organizations and grassroots movements doing vital work right here in Oakland. The song is produced by Dakim https://ddustdirect.bandcamp.com/, be sure to check out more of Dakim’s music and follow them on Instagram http://instagram.com/dddakim! Season 16 – Episode 22 - Snap Classic Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices https://dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:08Glynn Washington?

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• 0:53Glynn Washington?

  Discover the best deals happening now at ember.com/snap. Go to ember.com right now, and when you're asked where you heard about them, let them know it was Snap Judgment. That's ember.com/snap. Today's episode is brought to you by Americans United for Separation of Church and State. Americans United has spent the last 80 years defending your right to live as yourself and believe as you choose, so long as you don't harm others. Through film screenings, speaking engagements, and valuable resources like the Know Your Rights and Public School Guides, AU empowers people nationwide to recommit to the separation

• 1:37Glynn Washington?

  of church and state, protecting individual freedoms and strengthening our democracy for all. Freedom without favor and equality without exception. Learn more at au.org/TENC.

• 2:15Glynn Washington?

  Okay, now you're gonna tell me I'm wrong, I know it. There's no need to write me letters. I'm just trying to tell you what happened. See, at our old Snap Studios building, we'd bring our dogs to work, right? And I got this little three-legged pit bull puppy, Georgie. The nicest, friendliest, happiest, school-biest, snack-lovingest dog you're ever gonna meet. Maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the best dog in all his well.

• 2:47Glynn Washington?

  And then one day, the owner of the building, one of these fellows that wears a suit, but not a bad guy, he comes to me, and he tells me, "There's been some complaints."

• 3:01Glynn Washington?

  Complaints? About what? Well, about dangerous attack dogs on the premises. Dangerous? Attack? Georgie's all wagging his tail, wondering which wall to lick. Huh? And you've got to understand, there are certain breeds that can, under no circumstances, be allowed. So if you tell me you have that breed, we can't allow it. So tell me, what breed is your dog?

• 3:31Glynn Washington?

  Well, he's obviously a pit- Ah! Think carefully before you answer. Well, Georgie, well, he's a... He's a greyhound.

• 3:44Glynn Washington?

  Good. So I'm gonna write down in my notebook here, that I have it on your authority, this dog is a greyhound and not a dangerous animal. You have a nice day.

• 4:00Glynn Washington?

  He leaves, but I'm fuming because somebody ratted me out.

• 4:10Glynn Washington?

  If it wasn't for this weird little loophole, Snap Studios would be a far less barky place, and that's not how I want to live my life. And here's the thing, I know who the narc is. I see her sneering at me every day. "Shouldn't be allowed to bring a dog like that here," she says. "It's not right," she says. "It's a ticking time bomb," she says. Georgie, the dog I'd sent into a baby nursery, the puppy who welcomes robbers and bad guys. Georgie!

• 4:39Glynn Washington?

  That's not a greyhound, that's a pit bull! Well, let me see your veterinary license, Dr. Doolittle.

• 4:49Glynn Washington?

  Eventually, we moved to another building, but I walk by her occasionally downtown, and she's still with the evil eye, pointing and whispering. I try to tell Georgie to keep it moving, but he just wants to wag his tail at her like she's an old friend! Bad dog!

• 5:07Glynn Washington?

  Then recently, for the holidays, we get one of those dog DNA tests to see what kind of pit bull our greyhound really is. We eagerly rip open the results.

• 5:21Glynn Washington?

  Border collie? What? German shepherd? American bully? Pit bull, less than 20%. All of this nonsense, trying to play the five print, just so I can stick a new label on the same old hound.

• 5:41Glynn Washington?

  Today on Snap Judgment, we proudly present The Loophole.

• 5:50Glynn Washington?

  My name is Slim Washington. Pit bull greyhounds are the very best dogs there are when you're listening to Snap Judgment.

• 6:22Glynn Washington?

  Now, have you ever found yourself in a lose-lose situation where you can't see a way out? And next storyteller, he knows what that's like. Over 15 years ago, Mohamed, a Somali refugee living in Canada, he was just a teenager, a very outspoken teenager. And as such, this story may have some strong language, references to sexuality and corporal punishment. In the middle of all this, Mohamed's relationship with nearly everyone around him was reaching a breaking point.

• 6:55Glynn Washington?

  Mohamed, take it away.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  We grew up as Sunni Muslims in Ottawa, Ontario, the capital of Canada. From Somali land, we're in a new country. People are going to night school to learn the language and working during the day and taking care of five kids who are just bouncing off the walls, trying to figure it out. Friday night, we went to school to memorize the Quran because that was the most important thing. Our parents would drop us off. I would be put in an old, rickety building. You're in class and you're stressing out and you get called out in front of the class and you have to recite the Quran, which is in Arabic, a language I do not speak.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  12-year-old Mohamed was part of a big, first-generation Somali family who came to Ottawa, Canada with hopes of raising good, God-fearing kids, which meant that Friday night Quran lessons were non-negotiable. Or so his parents thought.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  I purposely didn't memorize the thing. The teacher was walking towards me. I talked to all my friends for the last time. Like, you know, it's been nice hanging out with you. It's been nice hanging out with you. I remember going up to him and be like, yeah, I didn't memorize it. And then he's like, what? And I was like, that's right.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Muhammad and his teacher stared each other down. The other kids in class held their breath.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  He came at me and I dodged. It was just me running through, you know, the aisles and him chasing me. And everyone was laughing and screaming and him getting angrier and angrier. I jumped out onto the window. You jumped out the window? Yeah. Onto the ledge and then ran down the ledge. And I just, I jumped off onto the top of a school bus.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  When you jumped out the window, were you concerned for your physical safety?

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Oh, hell, no. At this, at this age, like, death isn't real. Injury isn't real. Jackie Chan was like a huge influence in my life. I, I, I knew my escape before I did it. Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  You Jackie Chan'd yourself out of the situation?

• 9:38Speaker 01

  1,000%.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  For years, Muhammad pushed back, little by little, against everything and everyone. His parents, his religion, and his community.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  There was no time to have a conversation. And everyone that was talking to me was talking in a way where they hadn't memorized answers. You know, like, the prophet would say that this is the way we should do things. You know, history shows that we do this. If you want to be the best citizen, you have to become this and you have to do this.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Muhammad lived among adults who answered his questions by pointing to the Quran. They were too busy treading water to spend longer than that exploring the big philosophical ideas that were always on the boy's mind.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  And it was never like, hey, why are we alive? What are we doing?

• 10:28Speaker 02

  As he got older and navigated high school, there was one kind of question he wanted to ask over and over.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Can we, like, talk about love? For me, love was just...

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Taken over by the necessity to live and thrive and survive in this new world. And so, for the longest time, I thought nobody was real and I was just dealing with robots.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  But there was at least one person who felt real. Crystal.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  She was the quietest person in the room, yet the loudest. And we all knew what her intentions were. I was attracted to that. I was attracted to how kind she was. I was attracted to how tough she was.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Crystal couldn't have been more different from Mohammed. She was Christian, but her parents weren't strict. She'd never been outside of Canada. And yet, they felt drawn to each other.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  But then, it went to, what do we do now? I wanted to be with her, and I couldn't. It would be a dishonor on me and her.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  Mohammed still answered to a higher power.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  If I saw a girl, I would have to avert my gaze. This is something I was trained to do.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Well, yes. The higher power Mohammed felt accountable to was God. But there was an even more immediate and omnipotent force that he felt in his life.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  My mom was Pablo Escobar. She knew everything that was going on in the neighborhood. And honestly, it felt like the entire world. She would be on this couch, and she had her spot never moved. That spot was so indented. The cushion was flat because of how often she sat there. And all she did was talk on the phone. And you know, there was a lot of laughter. But all of it was weaved with information of what was going on next door, like city, next country.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Mohammed's mom had friends in high places.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  All of the Somali moms wore hijabs or abaya, and you would only be showing your face. And they would stand in high spots. They're standing on top of hills and watching over the neighborhood. And our nickname for them was ninjas, just watching over us. My mom, if I left the neighborhood, my mom knew.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  And if she discovered Mohammed not only dating a girl, but a white non-believer, only God might be able to save him from her wrath.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  I can't like look or touch a girl, but I have the same wants and feelings and I'm struggling with myself and feeling like I'm a terrible person while at the same time having these needs and wants.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Muhammad confided in his friends as they walked home together from school. His buddies were his go-to in situations like these because they were just as philosophical as he was.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  We would debate each other on the concept of religion. School didn't matter if we didn't know why we were alive.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  His friends were Shia Muslims from Kuwait and Iraq who had settled in Ottawa in the 90s. And as a Somali Sunni, Muhammad was super into the way his pals broke the monolith of Islam for him. Shia cultural and religious practices felt so different from everything else he had grown up with.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  My friends I met at the time, they had kind of shown up after the first Iraq war.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  I was fascinated with how he was explaining the religion to me, where everyone else was telling me what to do and how to act, as in like a memorized code that we had to follow, like walk out of the bathroom with the right foot, walk in with the left. His side of religion was all emotional. It was more connected to a spirituality.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  So they set to work on Muhammad's dilemma, scrolling through theology web forums and listening to scholars on YouTube. And it wasn't long before they stumbled across...

• 14:29Speaker 01

  This loophole.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  You can have this thing that's called a temporary marriage.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Me and my two friends, we worked at it like a team of lawyers to try to figure out what this all meant. It has a contract, it has witnesses. You and her have to declare to each other, but you don't have to declare this relationship to your parents. You don't have to declare this to the government. It's just between YouTube.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  How did it compare to the kind of marriage that your parents had? You know, did you see this as that kind of marriage? Like where you were gonna move out of the house?

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Nope, nope. Dating is not an option. Find a good family, find a good daughter of that family.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  And that's it. You marry, have children, and move on with your life. And for me, that does not work.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  A temporary marriage, it's the same concept as getting married, but it's honorable in the sense that you're clear as to what your needs are and what you would want, and you can communicate about it. And so to me, this was amazing because I didn't understand how I could give up my entire life to one person on the basis of physical needs.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  I hear that, and you're using the Quran to justify going to third base. Like, does any part of that feel...

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Wrong? No.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  I wanted to be an honorable person constantly, and hypocrisy doesn't work for me. Maybe it wasn't well thought out, maybe I didn't agree with my parents, maybe it wouldn't be something that didn't agree with the community. And yet, I found some reasoning I could get behind to fulfill needs that I had that I wanted to explore.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Mohammed knew he really liked Crystal, but he also wanted to stay true to his interpretation of his religion. With this idea in mind, he asked Crystal if they could talk. They snuck out of their houses and met up at a nearby park.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  We were sitting on the bench when we started talking, and then all of a sudden, these clouds formed all around us, and it started pouring.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  And we sat underneath the place structure as it rained. And so we sat in the sand, and we didn't touch each other, but we talked to each other. My hands were sweaty, I was confused, but also excited and terrified. And I could see that she was also fidgeting, and I didn't know why she was fidgeting, and I didn't know how to get this fidgeting feeling off of us. I blurted out that, I guess, I liked her, and she blurted out that she liked me, and that was the hugest relief. This is the first time in my entire life

• 17:40Speaker 01

  that I've verbalized my attraction to someone after they had verbalized their attraction to me.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  It was both exciting and terrifying. That moment when I sat with a girl alone for the first time. And we're sitting under this play structure.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  And we're watching the rain fall around us. And there's no one. It's just us in the world.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  And then, he proposed.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Hey, I can't be with you, but there is in the religion that's in another sect that you could have a temporary marriage. But the only way it would work is like I would have to convert and you would have to convert into Islam. You have to take some time and think about it for yourself. I want to do it. If you want to do it, we have to do it honestly.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  I remember her taking a deep breath in and being like, OK, well, that's a lot. And I'll have to think about it.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  They waited for the rain to clear and the clouds to part and return to their separate lives. Crystal weighed her choices. She was Christian. Would she convert to Islam? The two teens kept their convo in the park on the DL. And they stuck to hanging out just at the school staircase along with the rest of their friends. But Mohammed noticed Crystal did seem to be asking her own questions.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  And then she started to hang out with a lot of Muslim girls. She was taking all of these steps that I totally did not expect her to take. I felt more special to have someone appreciate me and then also be invested enough to ask questions on their own terms.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  And then one morning, in the hallway at school, right before the bell rang for home class.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  She said, hey.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  I'm in.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Crystal had converted. The marriage was on.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Oh, man, I am ecstatic. I'm in a new world. I'm past the veil. I get to touch another human body. So, yeah, I'm very excited and nervous and worried and confused and anxious and happy and full of wonder. I had all of the feelings.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Every period was compounded by 10. And I had more time to think about. I couldn't stay focused on class. I couldn't focus on gym class or math or chemistry. None of it mattered. It was all like, what do we need to do next? And what does it mean for the two of us?

• 20:40Speaker 02

  So they planned the ceremony in secret with their closest friends. And before they knew it, the big day had arrived.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  We wore our best clothes. Of course, I mean, I'm about to get married. I didn't have a suit. Otherwise, that would have brought too much attention. She had her hair really done up nice. We had my two friends. She showed up with her friend. We went together, but not together, and left the neighborhood and met at a different location in a field far away from our home. There was no mosque. There was no synagogue or no temple. We were just in a field with long grass behind a line of trees, a kind of small forest. No one knew where we went. Like, the ninjas were not watching.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  Once that was confirmed, like, we had to, you know, loop around and double check. But once we had that freedom, we, you know, basically, we were in the field and we wrote out what our intentions were. It was like on a piece of paper.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  The thing about a temporary marriage is that it's temporary. So they had to decide how long the contract would last.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  We talked about, you know, that our timeline would be six months and that everything was OK for us to do except for sex. And after the six months, our relationship would end.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  So having this clear piece of paper that said what we could do and could not do, and for how long, was just like strange, but also that was such a clear relief, because I didn't know how to talk to a girl, you know? The whole procedure wasn't, it didn't last long. There was no rice in the air. There was no, you know, band. It was just two people looking each other in the eyes and their declaration of intent for what they would like to do. And it was really cool. It wasn't like a situation where like we were being crafty and be like, yeah, let's do this. It was more like,

• 22:46Speaker 01

  how could we all experience each other without, you know, hurting each other? We wanted to figure this out together and we were doing the best we could. And this was oddly enough, the best we could do.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Then I was able to hold her hand and actually touch her. That was so cool. It was so great because I hadn't touched a girl like that. The only people I ever touched was my mom and my sisters. That's it. I was super pumped, super happy. I'm like, ooh, we did it.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  And so, in the eyes of the few who had gathered there that day, Mohammed and Crystal became a temporary husband and wife. But their first act as a married couple wasn't a dance or even a kiss. It was to scan the hills beyond their hidden field for Somali moms.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  If we got seen in the neighborhood, holding hands, the consequences of that would be horrible. I would be attacked by, you know, adults and parents. It's like, how the hell are you with this, you know, non-believer or whatnot, you know? You can't, you're risking your soul.

• 24:10Glynn Washington?

  Don't go anywhere. Snap us when we return. Mohammed finds out if eternal damnation is just around the corner. Stay tuned.

• 24:29Glynn Washington?

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• 25:13Glynn Washington?

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• 25:57Glynn Washington?

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• 26:47Glynn Washington?

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the loophole episode. When last we left, Mohammed had just used a technical loophole to enter into a temporary marriage with his high school crush, Crystal. As such, this section does have some strong language, a mention of sexuality and corporal punishment, because what could possibly go wrong? Snap Judgment.

• 27:18Speaker 02

  Mohammed had officially put an invisible ring on it. He and Crystal were married now.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  We did the marriage at her house.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  By that, he means they could actually spend time together at her place without a lot of questions. Her parents had no idea about the marriage.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  I got to meet her parents, I got to meet her older brother. I was just a boyfriend that she had, so it was easier. I was almost expected to exist.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  It was Mohammed's first time breaking bread with a white and non-Muslim family.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  It was just super weird, because they ate food that didn't make any sense to me. What's that? It's not lasagna, but it's like...

• 28:03Speaker 03

  It's like mac and cheese?

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Mac and cheese! I've never had mac and cheese in my life. Thank you. I've never heard of it before. I'm not gonna lie, it was good. And then, we would go upstairs, you know, after we were done, and she was always done with her parents, like, immediately. As soon as her parents talked, she's like, "Okay, we're done here." And then she would take me upstairs to her bedroom, and that was our magical hangout. And, you know, that's where all the marriage happened, so...

• 28:37Speaker 03

  And when you say marriage...

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. When I say marriage, I'm talking all bases covered. We cuddled, we talked, but really, that wasn't the thing.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  I mean, y'all did not go to home. You didn't go home base.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Oh, no. No, no, no. Third base, as far as we go.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  It was amazing. I got overwhelmed.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  It wasn't just the physical stuff that had Mohammed feeling overwhelmed. He had never been anyone's romantic anything before. How soon should he show up at her locker in the morning? Did she really mean it when she said everything was "fine"? It was like taking a test he'd never studied for. He was bound to get a couple of answers wrong. Like the time he was late to one of their dates.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  "Hey, it's 8 o'clock. You promised to be there and you know, we agreed." And I'd be like, "Ah, I was trying to out for the soccer team." "Ah," and then I remember finishing the soccer team and then running as fast as I could with a bunch of flowers I bought after practice to her house to try to cheer her up. "I have flowers because I think you like flowers. I saw it in a commercial."

• 30:00Speaker 01

  "Oh, man, I made big gestures because I thought that was more important than small, consistent gestures. I want to make sure you're always happy. I want to make sure you're good."

• 30:14Speaker 02

  And they were for four and a half months, an eternity in high school dating years.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  But after a while, she wanted to see my family and be at my house because she didn't want to just, you know, have a one-sided experience. And I told her that would be a terrible idea because, uh...

• 30:38Speaker 01

  because, uh... my mom would hit her with a frying pan, so it wasn't safe. Uh, you know, like the last people to have come into our house that were white were social services.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  My family didn't invite people in other than, you know, religious leaders.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Her requesting to come into my house was ridiculous. Not possible, but she kept pushing. And eventually, it was like, alright.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  This is one of those big gestures. This is the same as running as, like, maybe to the factor of five or six of me running as fast as I can from school to her house with a bouquet of flowers. This one was for all of the marbles.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  But more importantly, in his heart of hearts, he didn't think he was doing anything wrong.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  Why the hell not? You know, why can't you come to my house? Why am I living like this? I'm gonna bring my wife home.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  They needed to prepare.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  It's like going into a mosque. My house is the most religious place in the neighborhood. So she had to come in with a hijab, and she didn't have a hijab.

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Luckily, Crystal had an idea.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  She put on a blanket. Just grabs a sheet from her house, and she puts on this blanket version of a hijab.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  The abaya the Somali moms wore was clothing. This bed sheet was a bed sheet.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  I feel like I'm on a walk that's the last that I'll ever know of. Everything was gonna change, but I didn't know how. We're not touching. We're not holding hands as we're walking. Now we're standing in front of my house, which is the front of the entire neighborhood. And we're looking towards this house. And I'm like, okay, we're going in.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  And I open the screen door. Then I open the door, and then we come in. And she has to take off her shoes. I take off my shoes. And no one is in the kitchen. No one was by the stairs to the left. This is the first time I'm holding her hand. So we walked down the hall into the living room and my family's there. Siblings spread across the living room, like some on the floor, some laying on the couch. And my mom is sitting in her designated chair by the phone. And she sees me, everyone sees me first, and then behind me is this white girl walking in with a sheet on her.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  I sat her down on the love seat and everything kinda like just stopped.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  There was no, there was no air.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  The TV was on, everyone was frozen in their positions, like, you know, in the middle of taking a bite of, I don't know, some chips. I looked to my mom, you know, and she's just sitting there, not moving. I took the remote control and I changed the channel. I'm holding the remote control and flipping through the channel. Tension was stupendously uncomfortable and intense. I've never seen someone spontaneously combust before, but that's what it felt like my mom was doing. There was flames coming off her body with rage and the flames were like licking the ceiling.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  And I remember looking over to my girlfriend, my wife. I looked at my wife and could see that she had regretted all of our decisions and this. Cause she didn't believe what I said, like it couldn't be as possibly bad or uncomfortable or, you know, they wouldn't react the way that I had thought they would.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Eventually, we just, we had to leave. I had to take her home. And then I came back and I was arguing with my mom.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  I felt like maybe we had pushed it super hard with my family. And I, in my, in my opinion, I felt like we had to push. I felt like I didn't have any other choice because everyone was just directing. And this is what we do. Why? Because this, that's why. And I do it. This is how you live. I told them I had converted. I told them that they were wrong and that I was right. I told them I was married.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Muhammad's parents didn't ground him after their big blowout fight.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  I was able to go to school. I was able to go tutoring. I was able to do all my things. But my, my father wrote me letters on the back of napkins, on the back of receipts. Muhammad, I am proud of you for this and this. My son, I love you very much. And I am inspired by how you see things on this and this. But then he would list things that he would be worried about, like how he didn't like that I questioned these things that were, you know, not safe to question. And he wanted the best for me.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  His mom, on the other hand, employed different tactics.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  My mom ended up using other people to work for her, I guess, or do her things. Had to deal with a lot of the community members coming to me and telling me that I was a follower, that I was a fool, that I was weak.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  Being told you're wrong by people who are your guides and your point of reference is like a very strange place to be. I felt like I was the only being alive. I was in some sort of weird test or simulation. I doubted myself. Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. Hundred percent doubted myself, constantly reevaluated, constantly didn't think I was worthy, constantly thought maybe that I was a crazy person. Honestly, that was probably the most alone I've ever been in my entire life.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  Mohamed's mom wasn't done with him yet.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  The conversation came within the week.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  My mom was quietly setting up my passport. I was told that I'd be leaving the country. My mom was like, we're gonna send you to visit our family. And I think, we think it's important that you go back to Somalia and go back to our home country and see things for what they are.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  When a family dealt with a child that committed a crime, you would get sent back to Somalia. It was the thing to do. I didn't know anyone, but I've heard stories. He stole a car, got caught by the police, went to court, got bailed, and then the family had to send him to Somalia so he didn't have to go to jail and, you know, waste his life. Instead, he's got to clear his head in the old country.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  I mean, but that's stealing a car. I mean, how did you feel being compared to that?

• 38:21Speaker 01

  Uh, I felt confused by it. I didn't, I didn't, I've never heard of anyone else do what I was doing. This is unheard of territory. There was no playbook for this. I told my friends and my wife that the ticket was purchased already, the passport was made. It was just like, I had to go. I didn't have a choice because really, the pressure was so intense.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Mohamed hadn't seen Somalia since he was five years old.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  I think a part of me was excited to get on a plane and go somewhere. You know, I have access to where my parents came from. I didn't know that country. I didn't know that home. And Somalia is like the top half of what used to be Somalia, but after the war, it's put into two. It's an unrecognized country by the UN, even though it's been functioning for a decade and a half with peaceful transfer of power, but you can't fly there.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  He had to fly to Dubai and get on a chartered flight from there.

• 39:28Speaker 01

  The plane was like a tiny, single-engine, like two-propeller engine. I feel like if we coughed, the plane moved. It was really rickety and scary. It kind of looked like I was landing in a dust bowl. Not at all what I would expect to...

• 39:49Speaker 01

  See Somalia like, I don't know, maybe I thought I would see something more like jungly or more lush, but it was like this rocky landscape.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  It's a small, beautiful airport. I've never been outside of Canada, like as an experiencing human. I remember stepping off the plane and being like,

• 40:15Speaker 01

  I just walked into my living room. You know, like it just felt like this is a part of me. I don't know what they say, but maybe your DNA connects to places or whatnot, but I definitely felt connected. I didn't, didn't expect to feel so comfortable.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  And as soon as I talked to one person, I completely felt uncomfortable. Things were fast, things were loud, the colors were bright, the pace of conversation was faster, it was harder.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Mohammed was picked up by his aunt and uncle.

• 40:57Speaker 01

  At night, we drive into the desert. I'm watching the city fall behind us and I'm watching the stars and the moon guide us in the headlights. There's hills of what looks like sand mixed with grass and dust bowls. As we're driving, actually I asked my aunt and uncle, where are we going? And they don't answer me. And then eventually I get loud enough to be like, hey, I need to know where we're going.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  And they told me, okay, we're taking you to the highest ranking exorcist in the nation because we think you have a gin inside of you.

• 41:52Glynn Washington?

  Oh my. On return, Mohammed faces the music. Stay tuned.

• 42:02Glynn Washington?

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• 42:45Glynn Washington?

  Go to kachava.com and use code JUDGMENT for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code JUDGMENT. Understand, I get it. It's bad form to talk about how good you look. I know this, I get this, but I also know it's unfair to keep secrets. If you could see how good I look in my Quince Harrington suede leather jacket, you'd say it's unfair not to tell anyone as well. Now, you, I mean, let's say someone on your holiday list, not you, someone else who needs a jacket that looks good as mine, or maybe a cashmere sweater.

• 43:30Glynn Washington?

  Quince has those starting at just 60 bucks. 100% Mongolian cashmere. They've got the 14 karat gold. They've got the Italian leather. What? Classic quality that they're going to reach for long after the holidays. Because Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. Their prices are 50 to 80% less than similar brands. Now, go ahead. See if you cannot tell someone how good you look. Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince ask you, where you heard about them? Let them know it was Snap Judgment.

• 44:15Glynn Washington?

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 44:25Glynn Washington?

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the loophole episode. My name is Glynn Washington. When last we left off, 16 year old Mohamed had just arrived in Somali land, a country he hadn't seen since he was five years old. His parents sent him back after discovering his secret marriage to his high school girlfriend. And Mohammed now finds himself in the back of his aunt and uncle's car, driving deep into the desert, minutes away from meeting the highest ranking exorcist in the nation. Snap Judgment.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  At the time, I was being told that I was follower. I was weak. I was stupid. I was corrupted. And all those were just on me. But now I'm being told that I have a gen inside me or a demon. And that the person they're talking to isn't me, but a demon. And that really, really pissed me off. Because I wasn't... Like now they're taking my identity away from me and giving it to something else. So all of my actions, all of my thoughts, all of my arguments for all of my questions,

• 45:49Speaker 01

  they were putting it on to some other entity. And so now they're going to take me to this dude who's gonna bring the demon out of me and save my soul, I guess.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  The jeep stops, we get out of the car, and it's just, we're in this, you know, space of sand dunes. And there's this house of sand, of clay.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  There's a wooden door, and we go in, and this place is just beautiful. It's filled with some of the oldest relics I've seen. It was like a place a wizard would live in. Even though I was like taking it all in, I was pissed. I was feeling like I was being worn down. So I was worried for myself, as in like, maybe I'm wrong. You know, I'm fighting a lot, and a lot of the world is fighting me back. So maybe I'm wrong. You know, he might say that I'm possessed too, because they're paying him to check in on if I'm possessed.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Sat down in front of this man who walked in with his like really long beard, and he was skinny and wore like big robes, and like he was wiry. He had a twinkle in his eyes, and he moved slowly, but not because it seemed like he was weak. He just moved as if he, every movement was meant. He asked me to sit down in front of him on my knees, and I did so. He sat in a chair in front of me, and he put his hand on my forehead.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  And in my head, in my mind, I thought about just losing it. Just start screaming, start kick things, just be like, "Ha ha, [bleep] that, [bleep] you", that's it, you know, and just lose it. And then I realized I would be followed by this for the rest of my life. It would be like, remember that time you had that demon? Or remember that time, you know, you had that outburst and you know, the sheikh was trying to get it out of you? And you just started calling us all names and stuff? Definitely the demon. And it would have been for the rest of my life. I wouldn't be a person.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  I would always be this demon that controlled my life and caused all these things. In that moment, when he had his hand on my forehead, I decided to just stay still and not move. I just kind of expected, you know, him to be like yelling at me or hitting me with some sticks or throw some water on me to try to get the demon out. I don't know what the thing would have been. He gently removed his hand and said, "There's nothing wrong with this child. He's perfect."

• 48:59Speaker 01

  I wasn't a fool or weak or an idiot or a follower. He just broke the spell. He gave me validation.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  It was the most magical, honest experience I've had.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  I got up,

• 49:23Speaker 01

  pointed at my aunt and said, "It's your turn."

• 49:39Glynn Washington?

  Thank you, thank you, thank you, Muhammad Ali, for sharing your story with the Snap. Now, in case you're wondering, Muhammad and Crystal, they decided to let the clock run out on their marriage contract and not re-up. Young love. Young love, ladies and gentlemen. But do not worry. Muhammad is doing his thing these days as an artist and a comedian. He just got back to Canada after spending the past few years working and performing in Southeast Asia. To find out more about Muhammad's latest projects, make sure to check out the website Snap Judgment, www.g.

• 50:17Glynn Washington?

  Special thanks to Zeyda Hassan and her crew from the podcast Mommying While Muslim. And thanks as well to Zara Norbosh. Our original score is by Renzo Goryeo. It was produced by Regina Berriaco.

• 50:41Glynn Washington?

  Now, today showed the loophole. It's a search for the truth in that spirit. We're gonna spotlight an amazing artist right here in the Bay Area, Jada Amani, and her song, "Honest." Check it out.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  Share my life on, tears with slice gone. Dance with pythons, dare to fight dawn. Need more progress, think like capless. Let's be honest, try to capless. Bear scout, wear out, track my whereabouts. Flare cloud, wear clowns, stack the stare downs. Under radar, I slip like bad mouth. Rope weight hard, one tip to tap out. Knock down, back up, that's resilience. Bilingual by the real, like black Brazilians. More like multilegal, if we counting digits. Speak English, Spanish, money and people. Teachers, champions, plenty of free folk. Far less free than themselves with demo. How we make cradles out of apathy?

• 51:45Speaker 04

  How I turn tables, turning back at me? Honestly, who honest? Who honestly, who honest? Who honestly, who honest? Honestly, who honest? Honestly, who honest? Who honestly, who honest? Who honestly, who honest? Who honestly, who honest? Need more progress, think like capless. Let's be honest, try to capless. Could you be reminded if you feel like cap Nick? He could be the spark because of me and his light skin. Less like people is gone. He will gather than chocolate or berry. The sweetest, they bury the sweetest.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  The reason your tree went, your roots is the deepest.

• 52:44Glynn Washington?

  That was Honest by Jada Amani, produced by Snap contributor Da Kim. On all the social medias, that song and other music is on the latest Smart Bomb compilation, Water for the Town, Volume Four. A project series created to raise support for grassroots organizations doing vital work here in Oakland. Proceeds go to The People's Breakfast Oakland. Links to all that is good available right now at snapjudgment.org.

• 53:28Glynn Washington?

  Oh, yes. Who else, dear friends, who else will take you on adventures around the world? None other than Snap Judgment. Be the most interesting person your enemies know. Follow Snap on any podcast platform for more amazing stories. Available right now at snapjudgment.org.

• 53:54Glynn Washington?

  Snap is brought to you by the team that always plays it by the book, except for the Uber producer, Mark Ristich, who was actually born in a loophole. Nancy Lopez, Pat Massey Miller, Anna Sussman, Renzo Goryo, Sheena Shealy, Taylor Decot, Flo Wiley, John Facile, Marissa Dodge, Regina Berriaco, Davy Kim, Bo Walsh, David Exame, and Amy Nguyen.

• 54:26Glynn Washington?

  And this is not the news. No way is this the news. In fact, you get your own marriage annulled if I performed it on July 16, 2018 at the Silver Oak Winery because maybe I didn't really have a marriage license? You could do that, and you would still not be as far away from the news as this is. But this is P-R-X.