End of the Rainbow - Snap Classic

A young girl’s fantastic dream to be a doctor sends her into the middle of political realities of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Plus – the story of the first dog to travel around the world and the hottest alien takeover of all time. Round Trip A young girl’s fantastic dream to be a doctor sends her into the middle of political realities of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. This story contains scenes of domestic abuse and gun violence, please take care while listening. Thank you, MJ Fièvre, for sharing your story with us! You can read more about MJ’s childhood in Haiti in her memoir: “A Sky the Color of Chaos https://www.amazon.com/Sky-Color-Chaos-M-J-Fievre/dp/1940761182” And she’s working on a book series that uplifts Black women and girls – check out all that and more at badassblackgirl.com https://www.badassblackgirl.com/ Produced by David Exumé, original story score by Lalin St. Juste. Music and sound design for opening story by Druuvy. The Dog that Went Around the World The story of the first dog to travel around the world (and refuse a free steak). Produced by Joe Rosenberg, original score & sound design by Leon Morimoto. Bionic Blondes The hottest alien takeover of all time. This story was originally written by Kelly Link, and comes from her collection, Stranger Things Happen. It was adapted, directed, and produced by Mark Ristich and Eliza Smith. Voice ActorsL Glynn Washington and Joyce Lee. Season 16 - Episode 29 Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices https://dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:08Glynn Washington?

  What do you get for the person who says, "Oh, I don't need anything"? Nothing? Okay, put a bow on that. Because Shop brings a whole bunch of stores together at shop.com. Cookware, cakes, toys, high-tech. Type in what you're looking for and search across stores at once. Find brands you love. Check out fast and track every order in one spot. Because somewhere in there is the thing that makes them go. That! That's what it is. That! And to celebrate the all-new shop.com, Shop is giving away $1 million in Shop Cash. That's Shop's rewards currency.

• 0:48Glynn Washington?

  1,000 shoppers are each going to win $1,000 in Shop Cash, just in time for the holidays. Get something for the people on your list. And yes, you're allowed to put your own name on there. Enter to win the $1 million Shop Cash giveaway from now until November 1st. Just go to shop.com. There are so many ways to win. That's shop.com. Shopping designed around you. No purchase necessary. Restrictions apply. Official rules available at shop.com.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Support comes from Wise, the smart way to manage the currencies you need around the globe. Fed up with losing out to hidden fees when you send your money abroad with your everyday bank? Choose the smart way. Wise. You can count on the exchange rate you'd usually find on Google. No unwelcome surprises. Plus, ditch that "where's my money" feeling. Most transfers arrive in under 20 seconds. Join millions saving billions on hidden fees. Be smart. Get wise. Download the Wise app today. T's and C's apply.

• 1:56Glynn Washington?

  Okay, so back when it used to rain in California, I'm driving down the 580 interstate freeway, eh? Going to the grocery store, wife, little boy, little girl, myself. Then, no notice, a rainbow blazes in front of us, intense. And I don't mean in front of us up in the sky where it's supposed to be. I mean, right in front of us, right there, right there in front of us. We're driving, we're driving, and then the air shimmers, golden. For three, maybe five seconds, and then there's no more rainbow. My little girl shouts, "There it is!"

• 2:39Glynn Washington?

  And I see it in the rearview mirror. We had just driven through a rainbow. And I'm upset, furious, number one. I didn't think that was supposed to be possible. My science teachers all lied to me, but really, I'm angry because I always, always, always wanted to get to the end of the rainbow, and I finally do. And it's in the middle of the interstate highway? No leprechauns, no pot of gold. I feel robbed until I check the back of seat.

• 3:20Glynn Washington?

  And see their little faces, radiant, beaming, delighted, still touched with magic.

• 3:36Glynn Washington?

  Today on Snap Judgment, we probably present the end of the rainbow. Stories from real people finding a different version of what they're looking for. My name is Glynn Washington. Now, I just want to catch Bigfoot. Because you're listening...

• 3:54Glynn Washington?

  ...to Snap Judgment.

• 4:08Glynn Washington?

  We begin 1994. MJ Fieb is a teenage bookworm, living in the hillsides of Port-au-Prince, Haiti. MJ lives a real-life story from a real-life time and place that references domestic abuse and gun violence. There's a trade embargo on in the country, meaning rolling blackouts and gas shortages. But it also means that schools out for the time being, which gives young MJ plenty of time to hole up in her room with her favorite activity. Snap judgment.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  When I was 13, I was always reading. Reading was this way of seeing how other people lived, but also what my life could be. I remember being particularly attracted to this one character named Fontomet. She was a superhero without supernatural powers. And she was just a kid doing what kids do in addition to solving mysteries. And I think that's what I wanted. Those characters lived their lives and went after what they wanted, no matter what was happening in their environment.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  One day, I was reading the newspaper. I found this ad for a program in the Dominican Republic. It was a one-year program for people who were interested in the medical profession, but they were recruiting people my age. You come to this medical school, and you get to stay on campus. You get to meet doctors. You get to visit the hospital. I think, oh my God, being admitted meant that I could leave Haiti and go to the Dominican Republic. I would be on campus. I would wake up every day with a purpose. This is an answer to my prayers.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  So after I told my sister Patricia about the ad, we started calling. I would call, she would call just to help me. It might have been two weeks where we tried to call and call. And finally, they did pick up the phone. They gave me a time, a place, date, and the name of the person that I'm supposed to see. The name of the guy was Gabriel. I told my mom, because I was hoping, well, she's gonna take me there, we're gonna get information. And my mom said, absolutely not. You're a minor, you're not gonna go to a foreign country on your own.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  I tried my dad. He was a very controlling father, but he really valued learning. So I figured, well, maybe he will see it as this great opportunity, something that no one else is doing. But he was not happy at all that I was even considering it. His point was that I wouldn't be safe there, because they didn't like Haitians in the Dominican Republic. And since I was going to be isolated from my family, there would be no one to protect me. He also questioned the validity of the program. He's like, well, I've never heard someone going to the Dominican Republic to become a doctor.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  I could understand some of his concerns, but that didn't stop me from wanting to go. My parents were not going to change their minds. So I decided, well, if they're not gonna let me go willingly, I'm just gonna run away.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  I told my sister I was gonna leave. And she's like, "Why are you still pursuing this?" I'm like, "Because I have to." And I was kind of irritated that she didn't see how urgent it was for me to leave. She couldn't see that I had almost reached my breaking point and that mentally I was worried that I couldn't take it anymore.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  There was always the threats and the hitting just for mundane, like, minor things. In the case of my dad, it might be the way he pronounces your name, the way his mouth forms, the expression changes slightly, or a movement with his hand showing that he's getting frustrated. My heart starts beating a little faster. I get goosebumps. It's like a little thing could set him off. One time, he was just mad at one of my sisters because she had been out and she came back maybe fifteen minutes after curfew.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  And he's yelling, threatening to hit her, eventually hitting her. And my other sister just couldn't take it anymore and jumped off the balcony. And we ended up having to take her to the hospital because she broke her legs. I feared for my life. It might sound like it was kind of a on-the-moment decision, but it's something that had been coming.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  So it's the morning of the interview. I'm getting ready. I remember wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I live in the mountains and I'm trying to get to the city. I wanted to be comfortable. First, I check on my dad. He's watching TV in his bedroom. He's too busy watching whatever it is, whatever match he was watching that day. I go downstairs. And it's just very quiet because my mom is usually the one who brings life to the house. She's at church, I believe, so she's not around.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  So I'm leaving the house. I just had this feeling of being freed. And I realized that it might be the last time that I ever see home. Maybe it wasn't a realistic thought, but that's how it felt. So I know that I have to go to the main road, catch one of those buses. They're gonna take me down the mountain. Then you have to take like a taxi to take you to a specific point. It was a place on Place d'Italie. Whenever there's Carnival in Haiti, Place d'Italie was that one place where all the musicians gathered.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  So I'm leaving the side road so I can get to the main road and flag down a bus. And there's a couple of stalls. There's this man selling cigarettes and candy and other things. I had never smoked in my life before. But I'm like, well, I can imagine this new person. She's sophisticated and free, and she's probably going to smoke. And I remember stopping by, buying a cigarette, and having no idea of how to even light it. Someone had to stop to tell me how to do it. And then, of course, I started coughing.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  So I had to just flag down a bus and they stop. We're going down the mountains and there's cars going up and down. Women with bundles on their head. I'm going to the market or coming back from the market. Some people on the bus. They looked at me like I was crazy because I was on my own. I was obviously a kid. And it did make me feel like a superhero. And that's where people really started telling me about what was going on downtown. And they were telling me to be very careful.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  I received the president of Haiti has recently been ousted from the country. People are in the streets every day protesting and they had semi-automatic weapons singing their rage.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  But I felt invincible. There's nothing that can happen that's going to be worse than what's going on at home. I just know whatever they ask me to do, I'm ready to do it. So if they say, hey, we're leaving today, actually, I'm like, okay, I'm in. Although I don't have any bags with me.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  And I'm not thinking about the logistics. I'm just focused on that light at the end of the tunnel. The trip took about two hours.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  I get to Plastitali and as soon as I leave the taxi, the first thing I see is a barricade. Some tires, a wood and some branches. I have to go through the barricade, get into the crowd. And from there, I have to find the building that I'm looking for. Some guys are standing there, they have rifles. And I remember being asked what I was doing there and I'm like, well, I have to meet with someone in there. And them warning me that whatever happens to me is not their responsibility.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Everyone is on their own in there. So they let me through. The crowd was huge. I could see people as far as up 10, 15 blocks. There's a guy with a loudspeaker, kind of reminding everyone why they are there. A lot of the protest had to do with hunger, with not being able to afford a life. People, they are singing.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Which basically means I don't kid around when I'm empty belted.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  There was another song about if Aristide, the president, was ever to return. Si Aristide torna, prendi le somme, Signor. Si Aristide torna, prendi le somme, Signor. Which basically means if Aristide comes back, people would get armed and attack. This is real. I'm not feeling invincible anymore.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  But I'm going through that huge crowd and trying to make sure that I get to the building. Everyone is sweaty. You can smell Vaseline. You can smell Dax products. There was the green Dax, there was the black Dax, and I remember smelling both of them. The crowd is moving me. It's not like I see the building and I'm walking toward it. I'm trying to see the building, and before I know it, I'm in front of it. They told me a building, but it felt like a very private house. There were like a few pieces of furniture in there.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  People were playing dominoes. Someone was cooking lunch. I asked for Gabriel, because that's the name I was given. So someone said, "Let me go check and see where he is." She comes back and she says, "Oh, well, apparently he's not here, he's out of town. Nobody knows where he is." I did ask about the program and nobody at that table knew. They knew who Gabriel was, but that was it. The interview is not happening. I just had that gut feeling that it was over.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  It's not like, "Oh, he's not there today because something happened." I'm never gonna meet this Gabriel. This program is just not going to happen. I just need to stop. And I had this feeling where I'm stuck, because there's nowhere else to go. I was devastated.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  As soon as I leave the premises, I'm just engulfed again by the crowd.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  It feels even tighter than it was before. People were barely moving, and I feel like I can barely breathe. People are singing, people are yelling, pushing. It's really hot. I'm really thirsty. There's a sense that something was going to happen. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. The way people are acting around me, maybe a change in the noise. And then I heard the shooting.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  I'm looking for cover. Suddenly, I feel hands on me, on my shoulders and at some point on my back. I'm thinking that maybe those are the attackers. I realize they're pushing me behind a big trash can that's on the side of the street. Someone is actually grabbing me. And for those few minutes, we were just together lying in the trash.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  I remember hearing him breathe next to me, maybe feeling his breath. The sky was so, so beautiful still. But here we are, lying in trash.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Finally, the shooting stopped. People start emerging from wherever they were hiding. There's this woman who's been shot in the leg, and people are trying to help her. There are other people who got ran over. They're holding parts of their body. And I was able to look at the person who had brought me to safety. I couldn't tell how old he was, but there was something wise about him. I don't know if it was me projecting because he saved me. I guess he was just one of those people who are very stoic even when things go bad.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  The guy asked me if I knew where I was going, if I had had people with me that I need to find. Now that that dream is gone, where am I gonna go? The country is not that small, but it feels very small because everybody knows everything. There's nowhere in Haiti where you could hide. I would be found. The only place I thought I could go was home. I had to go back home.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  No matter what was going on at home, that was what was regular, what was normal. And I needed to go back to normalcy. He offered to take me home and I said yes.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  I don't remember much talking on our way up the mountains because all I could do was replay what had happened. I didn't want to even talk about it, even to someone who had been there.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  It was still daylight when I got home. My mom is on the balcony and she's taking care of her plants. When she sees me, my mom asks me, "Oh, what happened to you? You're dirty." And I can smell myself. I still smell like trash. I'm sweaty. I'm just so greasy. And I tell her, "I was in the neighborhood and I fell."

• 21:19Speaker 02

  So she briefly looked at me and she said, "Well, make sure you change as soon as possible." That was it. They didn't even notice that I was gone. I felt that it was a reflection of what I had been going through the entire time. Like, I'm hurting on the inside and many people don't even notice. I went straight in and washed up.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  It felt like a failure, but I felt that the intensity of the wanting to leave hasn't gone away. I was reading a book titled The Maid, and one quote was, "If the end is not happy, then it's not the end." So I'm like, what am I gonna do next? I had started getting a bag ready. I'm not packing a lot of things, just the basics like toothbrush, a few clothes, teodurant, a picture with me and my sister, and a few other things. And I became determined to get the end that I felt the story needed.

• 22:45Glynn Washington?

  The story of MJ Gheb was far from over. After high school, MJ did end up going to medical school, but she realized it wasn't quite her calling. She moved to the United States, where she now works as a full-time writer. You can read more about her childhood in Haiti in her memoir, A Sky the Color of Chaos. She's working on a book series that uplifts Black women and girls. You can check out all that and more at badassblackgirl.com. The original score for this piece was by Laaleen Sedjist. It was produced by David Exame.

• 23:31Glynn Washington?

  More amazing storytelling for you when Snap Judgment: The End of the Rainbow episode continues. Stay tuned.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  This show is supported by Odoo. When you buy business software from lots of vendors, the costs add up and it gets complicated and confusing. Odoo solves this. It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales. Odoo is all connected on a single platform in a simple and affordable way. You can save money without missing out on the features you need. Check out Odoo at O D O O dot com. That's O D O O dot com.

• 24:20Glynn Washington?

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the end of the Rainbow episode. Today, we're looking at what happens when you get at least a version of what you want. And for the next story, our hero, he had some very simple demands. Snap Judgment.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  So this story is brought to us by a person with a very cool job.

• 24:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  Her name is Nancy Pope.

• 24:56Speaker 05

  Hi there.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  And she is a curator at the Smithsonian.

• 25:00Speaker 05

  Actually, at the National Postal Museum, because, you know, history, truth, you gotta kind of do that.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  But back in 1984, when she first got to the Smithsonian, Nancy was given a really boring newbie task: organizing old photos in the archives.

• 25:18Speaker 05

  And some of these photos, I started looking, it's like, it's a dog. You know, it's a dog laying down on mailbags. It's a dog sitting on mailbags. It's like, it's a dog. And I started looking, going, what is the thing with the dang dog?

• 25:32Speaker 04

  That's when one of her coworkers told her to go down to the third floor and see for herself.

• 25:37Speaker 05

  And I went down, and they had all the stamps, and a little post office, and some mailboxes, and a dead stuffed dog. Oni.

• 25:47Speaker 04

  Oni, that was the dog's name, the one she saw in the photographs. And now here he was, in the flesh. Kinda.

• 25:59Speaker 05

  The hair was mangy, the eyes were smokey, and he did not look like, you know, a cute little dog. He just looked like some little creepy monster.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  The dog had actually been in that case since 1911.

• 26:15Speaker 05

  And at one point, we lifted the case up, maybe an inch, and this stench came flying out. We almost dropped the case and broke it right then and there. It was the smell of almost a century of dead dog, and it was the most horrible smell that I have ever smelled in my entire life.

• 26:38Speaker 04

  Okay, so, not a great first impression. But here's the thing. Once upon a time...

• 26:43Speaker 05

  He had been the world's most famous canine, the only dog to travel around the world. And there was widespread mourning when he died.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  Nancy says that Oni's story begins in Albany, New York, way back in the winter of 1888, when a puppy belonging to one of the clerks at the local post office followed him to work one day. The puppy, Oni, was just a scruffy little mutt then, nothing special. But when the clerk left, Oni stayed.

• 27:13Speaker 05

  Because the pup loved the smell of mailbags. And the dog would head straight for a pile of empty mailbags that were off in the corner, and just kind of snuggle up, wiggle around him, and go to sleep for the night.

• 27:27Speaker 04

  Oni loved the smell of mailbags so much that he would actually follow them onto the mailwagons that were bound for the train yard. If a bag ever fell off, he'd jump off with it and guard the bag until a postal clerk, and only a postal clerk, came by to pick it up.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Maybe he recognized the uniform. I honestly don't know.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Until, one day, Oni took his love of mailbags a step further. When the wagon he was on arrived at the rail yard, he actually followed the bags onto one of the trains.

• 27:57Speaker 05

  And the clerks could have just thrown him off at that point, but they didn't. So, you know, he just went to Boston.

• 28:07Speaker 04

  Nancy says that back then, a train's mail car was a place of almost constant activity. You have to imagine postal employees frantically sorting an endless variety of packages, dodging kerosene lamps, trying to get everything ready for delivery before each and every stop. But in the midst of the chaos, there was a little corner where discarded mailbags lay in a pile. That's where Oni sat on this first trip, comfortable, just watching them do their work.

• 28:31Speaker 05

  And when the train opened up its doors in Boston, Oni jumped out and traveled with the mailbags on the wagon to the Boston post office, sat around there a little bit, and the next day, he went on the train and went back to Albany.

• 28:47Speaker 04

  Thus was established a pattern whereby Oni became a regular on these regional rail lines. Nothing too ambitious, just day trips.

• 28:53Speaker 05

  But the railway postal clerks were family. And when a clerk got to the end of his line, he would start talking about this dog.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  As Oni's reputation grew among the postal employees, so did his network of available trains. It's like he had the 19th century version of a Europass, only with mail cars.

• 29:12Speaker 05

  And then he started branching out through Cleveland, Philadelphia, and then Washington, DC. He loved Brooklyn.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  But of course, that was just the Northeast. He also went south.

• 29:23Speaker 05

  To Mobile, Alabama, Jackson, Florida, Atlanta.

• 29:26Speaker 04

  And to the Midwest.

• 29:28Speaker 05

  Fort Wayne, Indiana, Wichita, Grand Rapids, and Minneapolis, Kansas City, St. Louis, Pute.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  And everywhere else.

• 29:35Speaker 05

  Albuquerque, Reno.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 29:38Speaker 05

  Cincinnati, Denver.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Now I'm gonna stop you.

• 29:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, you know, it was, you name a state, he was there.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  By 1889, there were reports of Oni in California.

• 29:47Speaker 05

  So we know that within a year, he's crossed the country.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  This is the part where I hate to poke a hole in it, and maybe I shouldn't.

• 29:54Speaker 05

  Oh, poke a hole.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  How much independence does this dog have in this, in this, in these decisions to be branching out? Is he like, at the train station, and he, he sees a train car, and he's like, that one looks good, and like, decides all on his own?

• 30:06Speaker 05

  Well, there was a lot to be said for that. Oni really did just jump on any old train he wanted and go wherever he wanted to go.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  When Oni got to a town, he always followed the same routine. He would get out of the train, take the mail wagon to the post office, and then spend the night, usually at the local postmaster's house, who always made sure that there were some mailbags for Oni to sleep on.

• 30:31Speaker 05

  And before long, newspapers across the country, if Oni was in town, the, the publisher said, you gotta go out and do a story on the dog.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Oni proved so popular that eventually it wasn't enough that he simply come to town. People wanted to prove that he'd been there. So they started putting these customized tags on his collar. Sometimes it was an official tag with the name of the town. Other times, someone would hastily scratch their name on a hotel key and loop that through his collar. Lots of people gave him these little metal coupons.

• 31:03Speaker 05

  And, you know, if Oni had wanted to, he could have gotten five cents off for a loaf of bread at one spot, free drinks at the bar at a couple of others. He could have had a great night on the town if he was a person.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Elaborate feasts were routinely held in Oni's honor. So rich and filling were the meals that the day after one such dinner in Providence, Rhode Island, Oni took one look at a free steak and walked away.

• 31:30Speaker 05

  And he just puts his nose up at it like, you know, I'm still full. I can't handle a steak.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  Oni had all the benefits of fame and none of the costs. He was a dog. He didn't know he was famous. He didn't feel any of the pressure, didn't worry about all the attention. He was free to just be, at least for the first few years.

• 31:51Speaker 05

  But then it gets to the point where, as Oni got more and more famous, the clerks start actually putting him on a train. Like, Oni needs to go on this train. Wouldn't that be fun?

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Slowly but surely, the freewheeling hobo of everyone's imagination was no longer quite so freewheeling. Increasingly, in the very same articles that extolled Oni's freedom, you could read all about the cities where he could be found next. It was freedom scripted.

• 32:16Speaker 05

  But the height of Oni being handled by clerks was obviously the trip around the world.

• 32:26Speaker 04

  The trip was a marketing stunt put on by the city of Tacoma. They were trying to one-up their more famous neighbor, Seattle. So with the consent of the post office, they sent Oni packing on a mail ship to East Asia.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  Where he got a passport from the Emperor of Japan.

• 32:41Speaker 04

  Then on to China and India.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  Through the Suez Canal.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  And then via the Azores, back to America.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  He made it in 118 days.

• 32:50Speaker 04

  By this point, Oni was so famous that European newspapers issued heated editorials wondering why Oni had skipped their continent entirely. It seemed like everyone wanted a piece of him.

• 33:02Speaker 05

  And when he would go to each of these foreign lands, he was trotted out. And Oni, who knows whether he was happy or not. But as the clerks started ruling his life, people added more and more tags to his collar.

• 33:25Speaker 05

  Businesses loved to put something on him because it's free advertising for your business, which is fine, except you think the collar around the dog's neck, you add 10 tags, one thing, you start adding 20, 30 tags, the poor dog's not going to be able to lift his head up.

• 33:43Speaker 04

  Every time Oni returned to Albany, the clerks made sure to take the tags off. Eventually, they had to give him a harness to accommodate all the extra weight. But even that was rarely enough.

• 33:54Speaker 05

  The Smithsonian has 347 tags. It has been said in a lot of reports that he had over 1,000, which is easy for me to believe. But I really think that Oni needed to stop riding the trains. Clerks were saying that he didn't look good. He didn't look well.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  Oni was growing increasingly irritable, especially when people tried to touch the tags on his harness, either to add or remove them. He also started fighting back when clerks tried to force him onto a particular train. He was just getting stubborn and old.

• 34:31Speaker 05

  So a clerk in St. Louis took him in. And I think in his time in the clerk's backyard, he started to relax and be his old dog self. And we know that Oni had enough free will that if he didn't want to stay there, he wouldn't have. But there were some clerks that just didn't want to hear that. Oni, to them, Oni belonged on the train cars.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  So the clerks borrowed Oni for one last joyride.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  They put him on a train bound for Toledo. And at first, everything was the same as it always had been. Oni followed the familiar scent of the mailbags off the train and onto the wagon. But when he arrived at the Toledo Post Office, one of the clerks taking him to meet a local reporter tried to touch one of his tags.

• 35:25Speaker 05

  And that's what set him off. And he bites the clerk in the hand, very hard, twice.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  The clerk reeled off in pain. And when the postmaster came in to see what was going on, Oni attacked him, too.

• 35:38Speaker 05

  And the postmaster calls a US Marshal named Shannon. Shannon comes into the room, takes out his pistol, and shoots Oni once in the head.

• 35:57Speaker 04

  Oni was killed instantly. When the news got out, obituaries around the country mourned his passing. And his body was taken to Washington DC, the post office's national headquarters. Over the years, as Oni went in and out of storage, he was forgotten. By the time Nancy stumbled upon him, the world's most famous canine had become a footnote. But thanks in part to her efforts, Oni is back in the spotlight. And in 2011, he got his own stamp. He also has his very own exhibit at the Smithsonian's Postal Museum. Nancy says it's one of the most popular exhibits there.

• 36:33Speaker 05

  But we have a good number of people who will say in a blog, or in a review, or whatever, you know, it's a great museum, but it's got this disgusting stuffed dog.

• 37:01Glynn Washington?

  Thank you so much to Nancy Pope for sharing Oni's story with us. And if you want to learn more, you can visit Oni in person and see some of those tags at the Smithsonian's National Postal Museum in Washington DC. We're going to have a link on our website to an interactive map of the museum, put up showing all the places that we know Oni visited. It's, um, is what it is. Check it out at snapjudgment.org.

• 37:29Glynn Washington?

  The sound design for that story was by Leon Morimoto. It was produced by Joe Rosenberg.

• 37:44Glynn Washington?

  You're listening to Snap Judgment, the end of the Rainbow episode. Don't go anywhere, we'll be right back. Stay tuned.

• 38:04Glynn Washington?

  Snap Judgment Underground Studios. Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the end of the Rainbow episode. My name is Lynn Washington and today, we're looking at people lucky enough to get a version of their fondest desires. In our next piece, walks the Gosmer thread between truth and imagination, a brand-new radio play inspired by author Kelly Link. Snap Judgment.

• 38:40Glynn Washington?

  Hello?

• 38:40Speaker 06

  Hey, why would anyone need three jars of marshino cherries?

• 38:45Glynn Washington?

  What you doing?

• 38:46Speaker 06

  Clearing out the fridge.

• 38:48Glynn Washington?

  We've been through this. Your roommate is crazy. Find another place.

• 38:53Speaker 06

  Some of us can't afford our own places.

• 38:57Glynn Washington?

  Then some of us better not complain.

• 38:59Speaker 06

  Ugh, you are so annoying.

• 39:02Glynn Washington?

  You call me!

• 39:02Speaker 06

  So, what's your point?

• 39:04Glynn Washington?

  Well, now that I have you, I started writing a story.

• 39:08Speaker 06

  Oh yeah? You know, I just finished another chapter. I'm sending it to my agent later today.

• 39:14Glynn Washington?

  Okay, cool. So, I got this idea last night. I was on the bar, about to go back across the bay, and I look across the car and there's this woman. She's super hot.

• 39:26Glynn Washington?

  She's got this hair, blonde hair. She looks at me, smiles and winks at me. And she looks just like Beyonce.

• 39:35Speaker 06

  I don't think Beyonce is getting off at West Oakland.

• 39:39Glynn Washington?

  Well, think again, cuz she gets off at my station. And I'm walking with her. She stops in front of my building.

• 39:47Speaker 06

  She must've thought you were super creepy.

• 39:50Glynn Washington?

  I'm a creep for going home.

• 39:52Speaker 06

  I mean, didn't she think you were following her? She didn't freak out?

• 39:56Glynn Washington?

  No. We get to the building, go up the stairs, and understand this. She lives on my floor.

• 40:04Speaker 06

  How convenient.

• 40:07Glynn Washington?

  Hush. I'm telling you, we stop in front of her door, which is right across the hallway from my door.

• 40:13Speaker 06

  So there's a point to this story.

• 40:15Glynn Washington?

  And she winks goodnight to me. And then, she flickers.

• 40:23Glynn Washington?

  Like she's, uh, made out of a hologram.

• 40:26Speaker 06

  Like Beam Me Up Scotty?

• 40:28Glynn Washington?

  Like Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi. Like she's a projection. She's flickering, and then she turns silent again, like a real person. And then she unlocks her door and leaves me in the hallway.

• 40:39Speaker 06

  So you didn't get invited inside?

• 40:41Glynn Washington?

  I could have, if I wanted to. It was just weird. I don't know.

• 40:56Speaker 07

  I've been in love with Jack for what feels like forever. I met him at one of his readings. I brought his first book, dog-eared and taped together. I waited in line for him to sign it, and when I held it out, he smiled at me. Laughed a little. He said, "No one reads this book." And then he asked me out for a drink.

• 41:21Speaker 07

  Here's the thing about Jack. He doesn't really have the looks, but he's commanding. He took me for cocktails and told me about a woman he was sending anonymous love letters to. I felt invisible.

• 41:36Speaker 07

  Jack became my mentor, slashing my stories apart, writing mean, flirty comments in the margins.

• 41:44Speaker 07

  I wanted him bad. Still do. I guess. But he slowed down, and his agent has warned him that if he doesn't write another book in the next year, he's dropping him. And the thing is, I'm speeding up. I've got an agent now, too, a friend of Jack's. And I've got a novel. But I still call Jack daily, like a reflex.

• 42:18Glynn Washington?

  Hello?

• 42:19Speaker 06

  I didn't need that check.

• 42:20Glynn Washington?

  I know. I was worried with the roommate.

• 42:25Speaker 06

  I ripped it up.

• 42:28Glynn Washington?

  A "thank you" would have been nice.

• 42:29Speaker 06

  You know, you never give me any credit. You know I just got my advance, right? I'm actually okay, if you can believe it. I'm really, I'm, I'm good.

• 42:41Speaker 06

  Yeah. So you see your new neighbor Beyonce recently?

• 42:46Glynn Washington?

  Yeah. Actually, I was gonna say, she knocked on my door yesterday and asked to borrow a cup of sugar.

• 42:53Speaker 06

  That's original.

• 42:54Glynn Washington?

  Didn't recognize me, though, so I didn't bring the other night up.

• 42:57Speaker 06

  So you gave her the sugar?

• 42:59Glynn Washington?

  But when I go to shut the door, I watch her through the peephole.

• 43:03Speaker 06

  Uh, gross.

• 43:05Glynn Washington?

  No, no, no, no, no. Look here. She ate all the sugar. I washed her down the whole cup.

• 43:11Speaker 06

  What?

• 43:13Glynn Washington?

  I know, I know, I know. Get this. Then she knocks on my door again. I open it. She just walks in, pours herself a drink. My best whiskey. And we drank like half the bottle. And then just start making out. Going for it. Amazing! I mean, she's amazing. She smelled like fresh laundry. And she, she tasted like, like cherries. And I go to... You know, and it's smooth down there.

• 43:46Speaker 06

  Oh, no, it's called the Brazilian.

• 43:47Glynn Washington?

  No.

• 43:50Glynn Washington?

  It was like Barbie smooth. There was no, nothing going on. You know, down there.

• 43:59Speaker 06

  TMI, man, TMI. I don't think you're doing it right.

• 44:04Glynn Washington?

  I look at the Beyonce lady. And she just gets up and walks out.

• 44:10Speaker 06

  Smart woman.

• 44:11Glynn Washington?

  I'm telling the truth.

• 44:12Speaker 06

  Okay, Jack.

• 44:19Glynn Washington?

  Kelly used to flip. When I told her I'd met someone, been with somebody. She'd be like, "Let's blow everything off and go to Vegas. Let's get married by three Elvises." And I would always change the subject. Take her to dinner, end the night with maybe a kiss on the cheek, a little too close to her lips. But I never gave her an in. I would have never before tonight. Because tonight, she just didn't seem to care.

• 44:48Glynn Washington?

  And I'm just sitting here at my computer, cursor blinking, ready for words. And all I can think about is whether or not she's jealous.

• 44:57Glynn Washington?

  Which is stupid, right? Because of course she's jealous.

• 45:14Speaker 07

  Hello? Jack, I saw them. Who? The Beyonce women. Women? You someone or one? Yeah. I was leaving my agent's office, got into the elevator. There were 11 women in there. I counted, 11 Beyonce's. I get in and they stop talking. They're just there, breathing, like together perfectly in time. And they smell the same, like detergent. Yes. That's what she smells like, my neighbor. Their smell, that smell, it got more and more intense. It made my head hurt. So I closed my eyes, just for a second. I thought. Because when I woke up, I was alone. And on the top floor of the building,

• 45:58Speaker 07

  there was a bunch of construction stuff everywhere, like, like drills and paint cans. And there was just no one. Where'd they go? I have no idea.

• 46:24Speaker 06

  Hey, you know it's like 3:00 in the morning, right?

• 46:27Glynn Washington?

  I'm still working on that sci-fi story.

• 46:29Speaker 06

  Jesus, that's it? I thought you were in an accident or something. You woke me up.

• 46:34Glynn Washington?

  I just wanna talk.

• 46:35Speaker 06

  I gotta go.

• 46:36Glynn Washington?

  Why? Somebody there?

• 46:38Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah.

• 46:39Glynn Washington?

  Who?

• 46:40Speaker 06

  I met him at the bar. After my reading, a bunch of us went out.

• 46:44Glynn Washington?

  Oh.

• 46:46Glynn Washington?

  I'm sorry. I totally forgot.

• 46:48Speaker 06

  It's okay. It was a good turnout, actually. Anyway, I gotta go.

• 46:53Glynn Washington?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to ask you. Are you okay?

• 46:55Speaker 06

  Why wouldn't I be?

• 46:57Glynn Washington?

  I mean, since them Beyonce fembots.

• 47:01Speaker 06

  Oh, that. Yeah, I'm okay.

• 47:03Glynn Washington?

  Alright. I'll see you tomorrow. Brunch?

• 47:07Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. M- maybe. I'll call you.

• 47:09Glynn Washington?

  Okay, well. Call me, alright? Bye.

• 47:21Speaker 07

  I wake up the man in my bed and ask him if he's ever slept with a blonde. He asks me if this is one of those jokes, and I say no. The man says to me, "You're kind of a blonde." And I choke out a laugh, because it's true. At first I thought, maybe I was starting to go gray, but the hair is yellow. The color of honey, I mean. I've been finding blonde hairs on my pillow. And there's more and more of it every day. My skin smells so... so clean. And I'm losing hair where I shouldn't be losing hair. The man in my bed said something stupid like, "I like what you got going on down there."

• 48:06Speaker 07

  And I rolled my eyes.

• 48:15Speaker 07

  Hey, it's Kelly. Leave a message. I'll call you back.

• 48:21Speaker 07

  Hey, it's Kelly. Leave a message. I'll call you back.

• 48:26Speaker 07

  Hey, it's Kelly. Leave a message. I'll call you back.

• 48:38Glynn Washington?

  Damn it Kelly, answer the door!

• 48:42Glynn Washington?

  Kelly, I just need to see you...

• 48:46Speaker 07

  Hello?

• 48:46Glynn Washington?

  You're here? Let me in!

• 48:48Speaker 07

  Jack?

• 48:49Glynn Washington?

  Yeah!

• 49:01Glynn Washington?

  Why didn't you text me back? I'm freaking out! I thought you said you weren't alone that night?

• 49:05Speaker 07

  Hey there.

• 49:06Glynn Washington?

  What happened to you?

• 49:08Speaker 07

  You want some lemonade?

• 49:11Glynn Washington?

  What happened to your hair?

• 49:18Glynn Washington?

  How you drink this? It's way too sweet!

• 49:21Speaker 07

  Jack, let's sit down.

• 49:24Glynn Washington?

  Kelly, you're scaring me to death. What happened? Why'd you disappear?

• 49:28Speaker 07

  You know, I've been thinking... About that sci-fi story you were writing.

• 49:34Glynn Washington?

  You mean somebody called the cops? Are you alright?

• 49:37Speaker 07

  I really think you should just give up on that one.

• 49:40Glynn Washington?

  What?

• 49:42Speaker 07

  You know, you shouldn't write sci-fi. You're a serious writer.

• 49:47Glynn Washington?

  You don't want me to write about fembots?

• 49:50Speaker 07

  I don't know what you mean by that. You're so silly.

• 49:54Glynn Washington?

  Kelly? What's going on?

• 49:58Glynn Washington?

  What'd they do to you?

• 49:59Speaker 07

  Jack?

• 50:02Speaker 07

  Don't you like my hair?

• 50:20Glynn Washington?

  It's not true, Snapers, it's not. Fembots are not taking over the world. And that's because the piece was 100% fiction from the mind of Kelly Link. Adapted, directed, and produced by Mark Wistich and Eliza Smith. Original score and sound design by Pat "Macedi" Miller. Voice actors were Joyce Lee and yours truly. Find all things Kelly Link on our website, snapjudgment.org.

• 50:53Glynn Washington?

  You've listened to another episode of Snap Judgment. Tell somebody, let your lover know. There are more full episodes right there for the asking. Amazing storytelling for you. Get the podcast iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, SoundCloud, or head on over to snapjudgment.org. On Team Snap, the union represented producers, artists, editors, and engineers are members of the National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians, Communications Workers of America, AFL-CIO Local 51. Snap was produced by the team that never goes outside long enough to see a rainbow. Think of them in the dark of night. The uber producer, Mark Ristich.

• 51:41Glynn Washington?

  The Pat Man, the C.D. Miller. Anna just had a baby sus, but hey Naomi. Nancy to the Lopez. Eliza's last name is still Smith. Davy Kim and M. Joe, Big Word Rosenberg. Renzo Gorio wears trucker caps. Liamonimo to go solo. Adisa Egan is not. Taylor holds the mail to cot. Liz Mack can't pack fat on a stack of hats. Jasmine Aguilera has a 270 bowling average. Believe it. And even though this is not the news, who keeps mistaking this for the news? In fact, you could crash your UFO into the Loch Ness Monster with the Yeti in the backseat shouting directions

• 52:24Glynn Washington?

  and you would still not be as far away from the news as this is. This is PRX.