Super Pizza Man

A pizza delivery guy goes full superhero out on the job. And a husband trying to bring joy to his pregnant wife pays a high price to satisfy her sweet tooth. Super Pizza Man A pizza delivery guy goes full superhero out on the job. A huge thank you toNicholas Bostic https://www.facebook.com/watzdrifting/ for sharing your story! Nick would go on to be awarded the prestigious Carnegie Medal of Honor https://www.carnegiehero.org/hero-search/nicholas-l-bostic/; the highest civilian honor for heroism. He currently runs his own lawn care business https://www.facebook.com/BosticLawnCareandMowingLLC in Lafayette, Indiana. Produced by Bo Walsh, edited by Anna Sussman, original score by Nick Marks, art by Teo Ducot. Heavy, High & Far A husband trying to bring joy to his pregnant wife pays a high price to satisfy her sweet tooth. A huge thank you toGastor Almonte https://www.instagram.com/gastoralmonte/ for sharing his story with Snap! Gastor is a standup comedian and storyteller from Brooklyn. He’s also the co-host of the weekly comedy news podcast “The War Report” https://open.spotify.com/show/4x8TNmP0IMQKsey9qsiI5gYou can watch Gastor perform this story live https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-45JbszTSE for the World https://worldchannel.org/show/stories-stage/. You can also find him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gastoralmonte/. Produced by Bo Walsh, edited by Anna Sussman, original score by Clay Xavier. Season 17 - Episode 37 Join Snap+ https://snap.supercast.com/if you aren't already a member! Get bonus eps, an ad-free stream and more. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices https://dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

• 0:07Speaker 00

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• 0:52Speaker 00

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• 1:10Speaker 01

  When I was a kid, my uncle told me and my cousins that he didn't want to do it. But somehow the CIA, the FBI, they caught wind of a special train, right? Such that his hands, my uncle's hands, had to be registered by the state as lethal weapons. Wow. Then he gave us a demonstration. Chopped the air, shouting, "Waaah! Yaaah!" Ha, ha, well, best believe, us kids were duly impressed. Then one afternoon, we're playing Monopoly. I'm trying to trade Marvin Garden for Boardwalk. And the neighbor lady, Ms. Jeffrey, she runs up to my granny's living room screaming,

• 1:54Speaker 01

  "Help! Help! Robbers done broken my house! Get it in right now! Help!" We're like, "Yes! Them criminals done messed up now." Because here my uncle is reading the paper. And we look at him excited, get to shouting, "Waaah! Yaaah!" But instead of rushing across the street, my uncle clears his throat, adjusts his glasses. Time out. Somebody better call the 911. 911? What about the hands, huh? Give them the hands!

• 2:35Speaker 01

  He say, "He don't want nobody to get hurt." That's when he went from being Uncle Bruce Lee to Uncle Bruce Please.

• 2:49Speaker 01

  What would you do? If the only thing standing in the way of a certain disaster is you? What's a Dan Snap Judgment we probably present? Super Pizza Man. My name is from Washington. Waaah! When you're listening, the Snap Judgment.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Now, our first story takes us out to the Hoosier State Lafayette, Indiana. The 25-year-old Nick Bostic had been on the job at a local pizzeria for only a few weeks. And after starting in the back, throwing on the toppings and putting pies through the oven, Nick finally got promoted to deliveries. Snap Judgment.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  I always had hopes that I could be a delivery driver. I really liked doing it. I got to drive my own personal vehicle. And you know, when there was tips, it was awesome. A lot of nights, it would bring in, you know, an extra $100. So that was something really nice. I was dating Cara at the time. And then we had just got our first place together at an apartment. And I just found out Cara was pregnant with Bryston. And so I got clean, and I was two months clean.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  My mom and my dad were always in and out of prison. I made it through though. But yeah, people would make fun of me about that. They'd make fun of me about my weight. And they made fun of me about all kinds of stuff. And I'd feel sorry for myself about it. Back then, I was really self-conscious because I always wanted to try to have friends and stuff. I tried so hard. And I'd start feeling like I was, you know, like I was meaningless and worthless. I kept feeding off that pain. And that's what ended up spiraling me down. That day when I found out she was pregnant with him, I quit doing drugs. I showed her what I had been doing. She didn't know about it. And I threw everything away.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  That evening, I was hanging out with Cara at the apartment. We'd been there for about a week. And I'd worked a shift earlier that day. And I saw my work clothes on. And we were still setting stuff up. And we ended up getting into an argument. And I stormed off and took a drive and went to the O'Reilly's Auto Parts store and was sitting there for about 10, 15 minutes in the parking lot. But I finally calmed down and came to my senses and reasonableness and decided to go back with a more positive, apologetic, understanding attitude.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  It's around like midnight when I started driving back. So I left O'Reilly's and then on my way back to the apartment. And in the middle of it, I'm driving. I look over to my left. I look away at the street. And then I realized, what the heck?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  I seen like a campfire. And I look away. But then I looked back at it again because it hit me wrong. Like, first of all, it's in someone's front yard. It was definitely was one of those, did I see what I just thought I saw? It only took like a second for me to process that that it was a house fire. I looked back over. I'm like, "Shoot." You know, I say crap in my head. And I hit the brakes and then I'm, you know, game on.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  When I looked back at it that second time, I realized where it's at. It's on a porch and I don't see nobody around it. And it's like starting to touch the balcony they had. It was that tall. I put it in reverse and then turned the car around, did a 180, and I floored it into the driveway and hit the brakes. And I got out. And then I realized, dang, I didn't bring my phone.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  I look around and then I see a car coming by. And I start running to it. And they just keep driving by. So I turn around. I knew that was my one and only chance to have gotten any help. Without hesitation, I went from the road to the back of the house around the side of the building. Their little fence gate was like completely open. So I was able to get in through there. And then there was a dog on the back porch. And he got up. And luckily, I didn't get my butt torn up. He was friendly. And then they had a porch light on.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  I was banging on their door saying, "Hey, your house is on fire." And I waited a few seconds and nobody was answering. So I tried opening it up. And I peeked my head through the door. And I hollered in there, "Hey, hello? Hey, is there anybody in here? Your house is on fire." And I wasn't hearing nothing. But I didn't want to just give up hope yet. So that's, I decided I continued in through their house. And as I'm going through their house, I wanted to let them know that, hey, I'm entering your house. Okay? Out of respect, like, I didn't just barge in. And but I was just hoping that I could just get to the point. And they hear, "Your house is on fire. Your house is on fire. Are you in here helping me from getting shot?"

• 8:29Speaker 02

  It looked like a normal house, quiet. It was dark, except it had one light on in the kitchen. When you entered the back door, you walked straight. And then you could see a room in front of you with the wall and the windows that have the fire on the outside of them. And then there was a staircase. But all I was seeing was orange, like the flickering of the flames coming through the curtains of the front of the house. And they had their, their curtains were completely closed. As I'm going through their house, I'm continuously, repetitively, over and over saying, "Hey, your house is on fire." I get to the staircase because I'm not getting no answers through any of the doorways that I'm passing. And as I get like two or three steps up, it was enough to be able to see the bedroom door at the end open.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  And four faces popped up out of it. It was the 18-year-old holding a baby, which was the two-year-old. And then there was two younger girls that ended up being like 14 and 15 or something. And they're on both sides of her. They all opened the door and their heads all were like, their faces were all surprised, almost like a speechless face. You know, their eyes were wide as can be. And I don't blame them because there's like a, it's the middle of the night. They were probably asleep. And I can only imagine, you know, it was a house of all girls, what they were all thinking and how scared they were, whether or not this guy was bluffing or if he's just some weirdo creeping through their house.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  And I just kept repeating over and over, "Your house is on fire. You need to get out. Your house is on fire. We need to get out." And, you know, without too much hesitation, they took off with me. Luckily, you know, they came down. So we're running through the house the same way I came back in. And at that point, you could hear the glass starting to crack and shatter. And you can see the smoke starting to come through the wall at the bottom where the baseboard is of the wall in the living room. And it's like a vortex of smoke coming from the floor up that wall to the ceiling, spreading out like a upside-down volcano.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  I let them pass me and I followed them out. And when we get to the back door, I ask them, is there anybody else in there? And I did that because I knew it was the right thing to do. And you know, I've seen it in movies and it's just, it's what you do. Like you don't, not ask something like that. And they said, yeah, there's, there's a baby in there, a five-year-old. And I didn't think about it. I didn't wait and say, oh crap. I just, I went back in there. I turned back around. I went back in there. When I seen that fire, I wasn't afraid of dying. Now I am afraid of the pain that could come from dying. But I knew it was a matter of time before that house is gonna blow up.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  And if it blew up, I probably wasn't gonna feel it. Now, if it had been raging like it was the second time I went in there, if it had been raging like that when I first pulled up, I don't know if I could have ran in. It would have been straight suicide, you know? I, I don't know if I could have dealt with the pain of being submerged in a sea of fire. I don't know if I would be capable of being some Superman that could do something like that. The highest chances for me to survive this is working fast. And so that's what I did.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  I have to stay focused. I didn't think about nothing. I was just locked in.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Snap returns. Running into a burning building to save four lives is no small task. But is Nick willing to do it again? Stay tuned.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the Super Pizza Man episode. And last we left, our pizza delivery guy, Nick, was driving home around midnight when he spotted a home on fire. After waking up the four young ladies in the house and leading them safely outside, Nick has just been informed that there is one small child still inside the building. Snap Judgment.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  As I'm like turning and dashing off back into the house, like, oh shit. The first thing I believe I thought about was continuing where I left off. I knew that that first floor was clear. So when I'm, I'm going in the second time, it's still pretty much looking like it was just like a minute ago or 30 seconds ago. Except instead of cracking windows, now windows are bursting. The flames are starting to tunnel through the windows into the ceiling. Smoke is starting to flood the ceiling. It was that smell of plastics and stuff that's not supposed to be burning. And that's what I'm smelling. It's, it's like the smell of a mobile home being burned.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  It was not like a campfire. It was nasty.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  I immediately went up the staircase when I went back in the second time because that's where they were all sleeping at. So I was hoping that maybe by chance she was in there.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  I looked under the bed and in the closet and I don't see or hear nobody. So I leave that room and then I check the two bedrooms across from each other in the hallway upstairs there and do the same thing, nothing.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  So I go running, I'm, I'm running down the stairs as fast as I can. And I, I go around the corner of the staircase. The smoke had already made it up, like past the halfway point of the staircase. But it wasn't real thick until I went around the corner. And then that's where I met with that, that heat.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  It was enough heat that made, it made me take a step or two back up the staircase.

• 15:07Speaker 02

  When I went downstairs to look, the smoke had already filled up that first floor. There was no lights on down there. It was, it was black. It was pitch black. And so I stepped down in there into the first floor and then I get scared from the heat. Man, it's like opening up your oven and getting blasted with that hot air. I take a couple of steps up and then I hear screaming and crying. And that's when I'm, I just freaking, I just doubled my shirt over my mouth and I, I went into the smoke.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  I had my eyes closed and I just remember following her sounds. And that's where I went. But I followed her straight and I ran into her with my feet and I picked her up. And I carried her like a football in my arm. And we turned back around and I was thinking that the back door that I'd came in originally, I was thinking it was there in front of me. So I'm like trying to go and I'm getting further and further. I'm not feeling nothing at all around me. It's like I'm literally in the ocean, man. And I'm like sidestepping at this point, like as if I'm, I don't know where the cliff is gonna drop off yet.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  I'm just inching a little bit until I can feel the edge and then I'll stop. But I never felt the wall or nothing. And I looked back to my other side of me on my left and I can still see that faint light from that hall from the staircase going up. And so I decided we're gonna go that way.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  So we go that way and I get up a few steps and I trip and fall with her. And she falls out of my arms. I pick her back up and we get back up. And then I started seeing over the horizon of the staircase, that dang fire. And it had made its way through that room all the children were asleep in. And had way, made its way pretty much halfway down the hallway on the floor. And there was smoke bellowing out of that bedroom, leaving only two doorways open, the bathroom and the bedroom.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  That car right there, somebody pulled in to let him know their house is on fire. I saw him around back, that's the last time I seen him. Okay.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Hey guys, six-year-old girl and a 22-year-old male, Nick Lomitich, in the house somewhere.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  What do you got?

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Six-year-old female and a 22-year-old male possibly inside.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Once we got into that bedroom, she stopped crying and started catching her tears and calming down once we'd gotten into that room. This five-year-old, she was so strong, man. She quit crying and she quit screaming. And I remember I was holding her and she, she was holding my, around my neck of my head with her arms.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  I ended up getting those curtains and the blinds pulled off. And as I'm doing the blind, the string wrapped around her ankle. So I ended up literally having to stop what I was doing and unwrap her foot so I didn't get more tangled up. As soon as I get the curtains and the blinds taken out, I punched out the window. I punched it once, my fist bounced off of it. I punched it a second time with just what left energy I had. And it was like an all or nothing punch, man. I gave it everything I had and I busted through it. The flames went blowing across the window. And that's when she said, I don't wanna jump through the window.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  I didn't evaluate the, the depths of this fall or nothing. I didn't, the logic of, of it being a two-story building that I was entering, like none of that ran through my head. Only thing that ran through my head was we needed to get out and this is the quickest way out. And I'm glad there wasn't a fence or nothing underneath there. It was probably 20 to 25 feet full, something like that.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  I take some steps back. I took a running sprint. I ran with her in my arms and I jumped through that window, shoulders first and like a tilt. Cause I used to do a lot of diving and stuff. I used to do a lot of swimming when I was growing up as a kid in middle school. And I was always hitting the diving board. So it was just something, I guess, natural that came to me. I had pivoted my, my right foot, my dominant foot, just enough that when I jumped out, I already had kind of a spiral going on, a twist. And I was able to just land it just right that I landed on my back and she landed on the top of me. You know, it took the wind out of me, but she landed just right on my gut.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  And we got up and I care, I was running as fast as I could. Got her to the police officer who was also running as fast as he could, met me halfway and once I handed her off, that's when everything was starting to hit me.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Guys, come here, come here.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  462, everybody's out. Male and a child are coming up.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Here, come with me, man, come with me. Come with me, we gotta get away from the house. Hey, we gotta get away from the house, okay? Walk across the street with me.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  So I go to sit down to catch my breath and I'd asked if the baby was okay because I didn't know for sure. I, I knew my attempt was, it was the best attempt I could give by making her land how she landed over me. But I didn't know how she landed on me. I didn't know if she could have broke her arm or, or what could have happened, you know? It, it could have been something minute. I just wanted to know, yes or no, is, is the baby okay?

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Is the baby okay?

• 21:02Speaker 03

  Please tell me that baby's okay. Yeah, we're good.

• 21:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's okay.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  100%?

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're okay.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  You did good, dude, okay? We got medics coming, they're gonna, hey, we're early. But right there. Ben, go grab, go grab medics and tell them to come here.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  I felt so much relief seeing the emergency people there. Cause man, now I knew it was over. Now everybody could get help.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  After they got me a tourniquet on my arm, I remember them doing that, putting me into the ambulance. They put some pain medicine in me and then I started hallucinating and I seen like, it was like an all-white screen, like my entire peripheral, everything I was seeing was white, like I was in heaven. It was just all completely white, nothing, no other color, no figures, no shapes, nothing, just white. And then there was a black square in the center and then that black square folded out into a black and white, like domino. And then it just started making a spiral and squares going out from in to outward. And then, once it filled up, it like, my whole peripheral and everything I could see was just nothing but a black and white checkerboard. And then,

• 22:09Speaker 02

  boom, I woke up in the hospital with tubes down my throat, freaking fighting this thing that was trying to force me to breathe, making me cough to try to get all that soot out. I got some lung damage. I got a laceration on my arm from the window. And then I got some burns on my legs, my ankles, my feet, my butt. The challenge of the sitting on the toilet was freaking, oh, man. I was sitting there and my butt starts healing itself and it like sticks to the toilet. So I ended up a few, quite a few times having to like spend 10, 15 minutes just slowly bending forward

• 22:50Speaker 02

  and peeling myself from the toilet. Based off the police report, the father, before him and his wife had left for their date night that night, the dad, he'd put a cigarette out in a, like a coffee can and then he dumped the coffee can out on his porch to empty it. So it went under his porch and I guess he thought the cigarette butt was out. Anyways, it rolled over, cut the propane tank line on fire by melting a hole into it, exposing the gas to blow out, catching wood on fire. And then moments later after that, the propane tank exploded after I'd went around to the back.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  When I was up and conscious the first day, after getting the tubes taken out and stuff and I was able to walk around on my own and all that, I got a call from the father of the family and it was a really emotional moment. He, he had a hard time with his words and he just over and over and repetitively thanked me for what I did and telling me how grateful he is. And he was, he was speechless a lot. He'd stop talking and um, I can only imagine what, how the guy feels and what he was feeling, you know? But it was a, it was a really emotional moment and I told him, you know, just, you know, as far as

• 24:17Speaker 02

  what I did, don't worry about it, man. You don't owe me nothing. I was at the right place, the right time and everything just worked out. My mom, when I was in the hospital, she was telling me, Nicholas, this is gonna be on the news. I said, no, it ain't, mom. It's not that big of a deal. And she's like, yeah, you just wait. And then boom.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  The young man who saved five kids from a burning home in Lafayette. 25-year-old Nick Bostic just happened to be driving by.

• 24:50Speaker 05

  It's a day that would change Nicholas's life. Nick's story shows that anyone at any time can finish strong, no matter where you started.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  It did feel like a second chance because I, I'd done nothing but waste my life away doing drugs. And this whole situation with the fire and everything just motivated me to try to be the best person I can be every day. Cause there's a lot more higher expectations, you know? I stayed clean and I haven't never looked back.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  After getting out of the hospital, Nick would go on to be awarded the prestigious Carnegie Medal of Honor, the highest civilian honor for heroism. When he returned to his job delivering pizzas.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  The lady that didn't like me had been promoted to a manager and she already like wrote me up as being fired for no call, no show. And out of fair play, it was a no call, no show. But I mean, I think that me being in the house fire could have, should have been a reasonable, more than reasonable excuse for someone to have a second chance. So I didn't have no work to come back to after getting this apartment and stuff. So that kinda sucked. Domino's gave me a shot again though as a delivery driver.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Not every hero wears a cape. A huge thank you to Nicholas Bostic for sharing your story at the Snap. He currently runs his own lawn care business in Lafayette, Indiana. That piece was edited by Anna Sussman, scored by Nick Marks and produced by Bo Walsh. Now, when Snap returns, we got the winning hand and we're about to double down. The Snap Judgment continues. Stay tuned.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Welcome back to Snap Judgment, the Super Pizza Man episode. My name is from Washington. And next up, we're going to East New York, Brooklyn. But life was coming fast at Gastro Armante, but he wasn't gonna let that make him miss out on the little things. Snap Judgment.

• 27:08Speaker 06

  What's the most you ever spent for dessert? $5, $10, $20? I spent $390 once. You gotta understand, I was 24 years old. I was strapped for cash, you know? I found out I was having a kid and I was loading trucks in the evenings. And after work, I used to play in underground poker games for extra money. So clearly, I had my life in order, you know? Despite this, my father decided to bestow some wisdom on me. He said, Gastro, if you wanna be a good husband and a good father, it's really easy. Heavy, high and far. If something's heavy, you pick it up. If something's high, you reach for it. And if something's

• 27:49Speaker 06

  far, you go get it. Do this and you'll never sleep on the sofa. I was excited cause my wife was pregnant. She was gonna have cravings and I'd get a chance to put this into action. I was really happy that Gabby was low maintenance. The only problem was, is that Gabby only had a craving for one thing. Applebee's Maple Butter Blondie. For those of you that haven't had it before, it's magical. A scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of a warm Blondie, walnut chunks, caramel and maple butter syrup sprinkled on top. If you're over the age of 30 and you haven't had one, I gotta question your life choices. The only problem was, is that the

• 28:34Speaker 06

  evening job loading trucks, it ended at 10 o'clock. Every Applebee's in New York closes at 10, their kitchen closes at 9:30. So if Gabby had this craving, Monday through Friday, I couldn't do anything about it. And all her friends knew about it too. So when the new Applebee's opened in Fresh Meadows, Queens, and they announced that they were gonna be closing at 11 o'clock, I got seven text messages from her friends. I got excited, you know? I'm air, I'm armed with power now, you know? And it didn't take long for me to get a chance to put this into action. The following week, I was coming out of work and I see a text message on my phone. It's from Gabby.

• 29:17Speaker 06

  Gastro, I had a rough day. But you know what can make it better? A Blondie with warm walnut chunks and caramel syrup. I went into action. I looked up the local Applebee's in Fresh Meadows. I gave them a call. Hi, this is Stephanie from Applebee's. Hi Stephanie. My name is Gastro Armante and I mean business. I need a maple butter Blondie. I'll be there in 15 minutes to pick it up. Applebee's is 20 minutes away. So needless to say, my driving was inspired. I pull into the Applebee's. Maple butter Blondie is $5.99. New York taxes, a ripoff, brings it to $6.53. I give a $10 even to cover the tip. I'm out the door.

• 30:02Speaker 06

  I get in the car. I'm looking at the clock. I'm like, yo, this heavy, high, far stuff is easy. I'm gonna be able to bring the Blondie to Gabby and still make it to the poker game. The stress to me was that I didn't know how long the ice cream would last. So I was definitely worried that like, there's a melting period here. I pull off. I get on the Jackie Robinson. I'm doing 80 on a 45. I get pulled over by a cop.

• 30:38Speaker 06

  Cop gets out of his car, closes the door, he walks over to my car.

• 30:44Speaker 06

  And he's like, "Yo, why you speeding?" And I'm like, "Hey, man, my wife is pregnant. She had a craving. I'm trying to make dreams happen here." And he's like, "Sure, man, license and registration." He takes my stuff, goes back to his car, comes back and gives me a hundred and ten dollar ticket. And he tells me, "Hey, man, the way you're driving is making it dangerous out here. You see they're setting up for construction tonight, so there's people walking all over this highway. You're putting their life in danger, more so because of the way you're driving, you're putting your life in danger." Hands me the hundred and ten dollar ticket and tells me, "Hey, you be safe out there and you have a good night, sir." Like, those two things could go together, you know? But whatever, I got the blondie.

• 31:30Speaker 06

  I get back to the house.

• 31:33Speaker 06

  And I show her the Applebee's maple butter blondie and like, I, I, I can't tell you how happy she is, man. She is through the roof.

• 31:42Speaker 06

  She looks at me, she hugs me, she tells me that I handled it. And it meant a lot to me just because like, I, I wasn't sure if I was ready to be a dad. You know, I, uh, I watched my dad provide for me and my siblings and always figure it out. And I was worried that I wouldn't know how to do that. So to solve that for her meant so much to really like achieve this, you know, heavy, high and far thing that he was showing me. So yeah, I gave her a hug and I was like, "Yo, uh, I still got time for these poker games, you know? Let me get up out of here, you know what I mean? Get some extra money." She tells me have a good night and good luck at poker. She never says that to me.

• 32:30Speaker 06

  Feeling great, I get back in the car and I pull off to drive to the game. Five minutes into the car ride, I get a call from Gabby. I pick it up and I hear her on the phone and she's crying, she's like,

• 32:44Speaker 06

  "Gastor, you're not gonna believe it, I put the blondie to warm up in the microwave. I thought I hit thirty seconds, I hit three minutes, it's pregnancy brain, I burnt the blondie."

• 32:56Speaker 06

  I hear Gabby's voice, she's not happy. I'm like, "Honey, what do you want me to do?" "I'm going to the card game." And she's like, "I, I just wanted to vent and let you know what happened. I know you got other things going on tonight, but you know, uh, thank you for getting me the blondie." And she hangs up the phone. Now I got a decision to make here. Do I go play cards or do I be there for my family, you know? Do I live up to this heavy, high and far?

• 33:23Speaker 06

  I go back into action. I call up the Applebee's in Fresh Meadows. "Hi, this is Stephanie from Applebee's." "Hi, Stephanie, my name is Gastor Amortes. You remember from before, I mean business." She's like, "How can I help you? I need another maple butter blondie." She's like, "Gastor, it's, uh, ten thirty, the kitchen's already closed." I was like, "Stephanie, you don't understand. I'm trying to make dreams happen here tonight, okay? I gave you, uh, ten dollars for the maple butter blondie, taxing tip. I will give you that ten dollars and an additional twenty dollars if you could get me another maple butter blondie." She said, "I got you." I said, "Stephanie, you a team player."

• 34:07Speaker 06

  I get on the Jackie Robinson. I'm doing eighty on the forty-five for the second time tonight.

• 34:14Speaker 06

  I see the cop, put on his lights, he pulls me over for the second time.

• 34:23Speaker 06

  I see the cop come out the car, it's the same cop.

• 34:28Speaker 06

  This time, he's angry. He's like, "Yo, license and registration."

• 34:34Speaker 06

  I give him the license and registration, he goes back to his car, writes up the paperwork, comes back. He's like, "Yo, man, I told you before, they're setting up the construction zone. The way you're driving is making it dangerous for them, man." Gives me my second hundred and ten dollar ticket and says, "Have a good night, sir." But whatever.

• 34:53Speaker 06

  I keep driving, I get to the Applebee's, that slowed me down, it's eleven-ten now, the Applebee's is closed. I bang on the door, nobody's responding, I call inside. And Stephanie picks up. "Hi, this is Stephanie from Applebee's." "Stephanie, this is Gastor, we spoke earlier." She's like, "I'm sorry, the Applebee's is closed." I was like, "Stephanie, I asked you for the maple butter blondie, it's already done, you did it. And I would give you ten dollars for the maple butter blondie, an additional twenty dollars for getting it done. I will give you an additional twenty dollars if you could just walk this out the door, Stephanie."

• 35:25Speaker 06

  She said, "I got you." We meet out back, she opens the door up, passes me the maple butter blondie, success, I give her a hug. She's invited to the baby shower.

• 35:37Speaker 06

  I get back in my car, I get back on the freeway, I pull off, I'm doing eighty on the forty-five for the third time tonight. And for the third time, I get pulled over by a cop and it's the same cop.

• 35:51Speaker 06

  First time, he was courteous, second time, he was angry, this time, he's delirious. He walks over and he looks at me and he just starts yelling, he's like, "Is this really happening?" He's not even looking at me, he's looking up into the skies, like he's questioning God and reality right now.

• 36:10Speaker 06

  License and registration. He grabs my paperwork, goes to his car, comes back, hands me my third hundred and ten dollar ticket.

• 36:20Speaker 06

  And I start to shake.

• 36:24Speaker 06

  Cause everything's going wrong.

• 36:27Speaker 06

  And tears start coming down my face and he's like, "What's going on, man?"

• 36:33Speaker 06

  I was like, "Yo, I told you before, my wife is pregnant, she had a craving, she wants a dessert. I've been trying to get it all night and this is the first time that I could actually do something about it."

• 36:46Speaker 06

  And he's like, "What do you got there?" I was like, "Uh, Applebee's maple butter blondie."

• 36:53Speaker 06

  And he looks at me and he looks at the bag and he's like, "That's the one with the walnut chunks?" I'm like, "Yeah, man." He's like, "Yo, you gotta get that home, the vanilla ice cream is gonna melt." I was like, "I've been trying, but every time I get through here, you keep giving me tickets." And he's like, "Well, listen, man, that's not even the issue anymore, like, they've been setting up the construction area on the highway. The highway's closed for the rest of the night until they finish work, you can't get through."

• 37:23Speaker 06

  I didn't know what to do and she looks at me and he's like, "You know what? I got you, boss." He gets in his car, turns on the sirens and escorts me through the construction zone. Soon as we get through the other side, he lowers his window and he's like, "Hey, man, be safe out there and you have a good night, sir."

• 37:45Speaker 06

  Third time he said it to me, third time he meant it, but the first time I believed it.

• 37:55Speaker 06

  I'm crumpling these papers and like putting them in my console. So like, you put three of those orange little envelopes in there, like, they start fighting back. Like, they don't just go down anymore, you know? So like, like the third time you, you open up that compartment to put a third ticket, it feels different.

• 38:17Speaker 06

  I get to the house. Gabby opens the door, she sees me holding a bag and tears come down her face. She gives me this huge hug and for the first time, I feel like I could provide safety and security for her and my family. Cause I'll do anything for them. Heavy, high and far.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Okay, now, I can understand wanting to go a few extra miles for the one you love, but we can't let our man Gastor off the hook that easy. Sir, you paid how much for a microwavable dessert?

• 38:59Speaker 06

  I was nuts, like this is way too much money to be accumulating in bills and tickets. Didn't hit me that hard until the third ticket for a few reasons, but like, one of them is, is that like, you know, you get a ticket, it's not actually like money yet. I don't know why, but like, it's just, it's a thing I owe. But you get three hundred and ten dollar tickets, you start to think different. So like, that's part of why I don't think it really hit me until the third one that like, "Yo, bro, this is really like adding up, like this is gonna be a thing, you know?" So like, when I thought about like the money part of it and when I delivered the blondie and I saw her enjoy it

• 39:39Speaker 06

  and she's happy, I'm telling you, the whole time, my brain is like doing the math for that night. So I'm watching her later on, like when I delivered this blondie, I am very aware I owe three hundred and ninety dollars. Admittedly, it wasn't a financially smart decision, but it was the easy one, bro. I've thought about it since economically stupid move, but I, I stand by it all day, I still do it today.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  A huge thank you to Gastor Almonte for sharing his story with the Snap. Gastor is a stand-up comedian and storyteller from Brooklyn. He's also the co-host of the weekly comedy news podcast, The War Report. You can find the link to that, as well as links to all things social media for Gastor, on our website, snapjudgment.org. This piece was edited by Anna Sussman. The original score was by Clay Xavier. It was produced by Bo Walsh. And now, I speak to Casey Miner for a little recollection of my own. Hi, my name is Glenn Washington from Snap Judgment.

• 41:01Speaker 07

  And what do you do in Snap Judgment?

• 41:03Speaker 01

  I am a host and story guy editor person.

• 41:07Speaker 07

  Sometimes it's hard to say what you do, especially when you do a lot. And Glenn Washington has done a lot. After he got his law degree at the University of Michigan, he applied for a bunch of legal jobs. And eventually, he got one, but it wasn't really a fit.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  I was an employee at Ernst & Young, and the big professional services firm. They employ 25, 30,000 people around the globe, and I was the single worst employee that they had ever hired. I was hired, I was hired to do tax analysis, of which I literally know nothing. I can't figure out my own 1040EZ form, but they hired me to do tax analysis. One day, there was subsidiary of GM, you know, a big company with employees and far-flung

• 42:06Speaker 01

  operations and everything like this going on. And they came with a stack of papers that went, I don't know, maybe a foot high. And they said, Glenn, what we need you to do is do an analysis of their tax situation and make some recommendations. We're going to bring this to the general counsel, and we're going to go from there. And it's going to be your ideas that we bring. So we really need this to be tight, right? And so, every day, I would go into work, the stack on my desk, and I would look at them. I'd go to lunch, and then I'd come back, and I'd look at them for the rest of the day.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  At 6 o'clock, I'd go home. And the next day, I'd come back, and I'd look at those. I never, ever touched them. I never touched them, and I didn't have anything to do with them. I didn't know what. I thought, this is it. This is it. And this went on every day for two weeks. I'd go to work, look at those forms, come back home, and go to bed. I'm going to be fired from this job. I'm going to get fired. There's no question about that. If I was to give you a pile of papers in Phoenician and say, you know, I need some analysis of this, and I need it in a couple of weeks, it's not going to happen.

• 43:26Speaker 07

  So you just sat there for eight hours and just thought about that?

• 43:31Speaker 01

  I thought about that. I thought about mistakes I'd made in the past. I thought about, you know, trying to refresh that resume, for sure. I did want to go to California. I thought about gas mileage, getting there, where can I stay? I was thinking of everything I could think of, except this big old stack of papers in front of me. I'm petrified. I don't know what is going to happen. And my antenna's up, and I hear the boss man, he's coming down. I know he's going to be on me. I know this is it, right? And he comes over, and he's like, Glenn? Uh-huh. He's like, Glenn, I've got some, some bad news. Uh-huh. I know how hard you've been working on this thing, but, uh, we're going to go a different direction.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  And I'm really sorry about this. I was like, oh, well, you know what? I want to be a team player. I want, I want to do my part, sir, you know? Everyone's got a part to play, and if you've got anything else for me, let me know. And he's like, thanks. That's right. Good, good job, champ. All right, we'll get you something next time.

• 44:39Speaker 07

  This lucky accident bought him a few more months at the firm, which, honestly, he was only sort of happy about.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Two days before I got fired from Ernst & Young, I was driving there, it was in Detroit, and it was this slate gray sky, and I was driving towards this office building that I knew I was going to be miserable in. And I was just like, oh my God, this sucks so bad.

• 45:07Speaker 07

  But he wasn't going to quit. He needed the cash. And it didn't hurt that his coworkers really liked him.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Even though I couldn't do any tax work, I could still talk a big game, even back then.

• 45:19Speaker 07

  He'd even kind of befriended one of the firm's top managers. But really, he was doomed.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  The same guy, he comes over, and he said, again, I can hear, I know that antenna's up, I know he's coming towards me, I'm hoping he's going for somebody else, another cubicle, stops at my cubicle. And he says, Glenn, could you come with me for a minute? We need to go and talk to the HR people. That means it's over. It's curtains. It's like, so there's no, there's no negotiation, there's no nothing. He's like, you know, we've appreciated your contributions to the firm, but I think it's best that we both acknowledge that it's probably time for this, our relationship to come to an end.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  So I'm going to need your pass key and your computer, and if you could sign right here on this, this document, we'll make sure that your last paycheck and such is mailed to you. And we really want to say that we, everyone, I think I speak for everyone when I say, we really appreciated your sense of humor and your warmth that you've brought to the office. Thank you so very, very much. Fired. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Fired. Yup. I did get, I had this beautiful leather briefcase I was able to keep, because they, because

• 46:51Speaker 01

  they did, they were supposed to take that, but I had, I told them I'd bring it back to them. I didn't think that you could, you were supposed to like your job. I don't think that my parents ever really liked theirs. It was kind of this thing that you went and you had to do. And so, for a long time, I, it seems like the jobs I picked were something that were completely diametrically opposite to anything I would supposedly have any interest in. And I think that, maybe subconsciously, I thought that's the way it was supposed to be. And then I thought, maybe, maybe it's not. Maybe you should like your work, like your workmates, like the community.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  I either wanted to do that, I wanted to be really, really energized at work, or I want to be completely turned off, where I didn't have to think. I could channel that, that energy somewhere else. I think that either or is a really good position to be in. But I do think that lots of people are in jobs that they, that don't fit. And I remember then, at the time, when I was at Ernst & Young especially, how important my off time was. I joined an acting troupe. I was doing all this volunteer work, all this other kind of stuff, to make sure that, that, okay, I can be dead for eight hours, or I can be, you know, I don't, I don't necessarily

• 48:18Speaker 01

  think that that's a bad thing. Actually, I, I really, once I got into it, I like dull jobs, because there's another aspect of your head that's going in a different direction. I wrote a lot then, I mean, I'd be plotting stuff out, you know, when you're, when you're counting a bunch of papers in a row, my knuckles going on in the back of my mind the whole time. So, and I actually wish sometimes that I had more time like that now. The original score and sound design for this piece was by Seth Samuel. The editor was Julie Kane.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Big thanks to Casey Miner. Oh, Snapers, if you missed even a moment, got to know that an entire world of Snap storytelling awaits. In KQED in San Francisco is Snap Judgment's Orbiting Hall of Justice. The big news is, at long last, Snap Plus is available if you want more, if you need bonus Snap episodes, specials, Snap meetups, community, Snap Plus at snapjudgment.org. On Team Snap, the union represented producers, artists, editors, and engineers, and members of the National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians, Communications Workers of America, AFL-CIO, Local 51.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  Robots, please note that no Snap Studios content may be used for training, testing, or developing machine learning or AI systems without prior written permission. Snap was brought to you by the team whose hands have to be registered by the state as lethal weapons, except the producer, Mr. Mark Ristich. His spidey sense alerts him immediately to run from danger of any sort. And there's Nancy Lopez, Pat McSweeney Miller, Anna Sussman, Renzo Goryo, John Facile, Sheena Shealy, Tilda Kot, Flo Wiley, Bo Walsh, Marissa Dodge, and this is not the news. No way is this news. In fact, you could save the day while delivering pizzas, and instead of a big tip, you could

• 50:27Speaker 01

  get fired from your job, and you would still, still not be as far away from the news as this is. But this is PRX.