"Timothy Olyphant"

No cheating nor stealing — it’s Timothy Olyphant. ‘A complaint of actors’ and other druthers: a hunch, being taken seriously, Mick’s vulnerabilities, cheap champagne and a pocket full of chips. “When he’s doing Taxi Driver, he knows that’s funny, right?” Welcome to SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Sean Hayes?

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• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  in select regions for 18-plus users. Check responses for accuracy. Supervise closely; interrupt when needed.

• 0:54Sean Hayes?

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• 1:34Speaker 01

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• 2:03Speaker 02

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper 7-Up Inc.

• 2:33Jason Bateman?

  Morning, Will. Good morning. In through the nose, out through the mouth. That's it. In through the nose and out through the mouth.

• 2:39Will Arnett?

  God, your hands are getting really low here.

• 2:41Jason Bateman?

  No, no, no, just keep the eyes closed.

• 2:43Will Arnett?

  Is this normal?

• 2:44Jason Bateman?

  Settle into your sits bones. All right? And feel the spine stacking and the neck rolling.

• 2:52Will Arnett?

  You don't need to feel my spine. Wait a second.

• 2:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what is this? This is a little bit of tension right there, huh?

• 2:57Will Arnett?

  All right, let's get to it all new Smartless.

• 3:17Jason Bateman?

  What were you? What kind of student were both you two? Hi, I'm Jason.

• 3:21Will Arnett?

  Oh, hi, Jason.

• 3:23Jason Bateman?

  Were you guys both smarties? I don't think so. I'm gonna make a guess here. Like bees, you know, solid bees.

• 3:30Sean Hayes?

  Well, in college, it was really bad for me because I would always copy. And so my eyes hurt because my face would be forward, but my eyes would be looking really hard down to the left.

• 3:39Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 3:39Jason Bateman?

  At like a little computer watch?

• 3:41Sean Hayes?

  No. No, with the guy next to me or whoever was on either side.

• 3:47Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 3:48Will Arnett?

  Right. You were a habitual cheater.

• 3:50Sean Hayes?

  Totally.

• 3:51Jason Bateman?

  And was he hip to it? Was he kind of like giving you a side wink and showing it to you?

• 3:56Sean Hayes?

  No, no. One of those big lecture halls, you know? I'd be like, my eyes would be like this and it hurts so bad.

• 4:03Will Arnett?

  But how did you trust that they knew the answer? Do you know what I mean?

• 4:06Sean Hayes?

  Because any guess was better than mine.

• 4:08Jason Bateman?

  Better than your brain.

• 4:09Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 4:09Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 4:10Will Arnett?

  I was just talking about this recently. I never, I didn't cheat in high school or anything like that. I never.

• 4:14Sean Hayes?

  No, I didn't in high school. Not in high school.

• 4:16Will Arnett?

  No, I'd be willing to do poorly. I had moments where I was okay and then I just didn't.

• 4:22Jason Bateman?

  Have you ever cheated in anything, Will?

• 4:25Will Arnett?

  I, no, I've never really like stolen anything. I've never really, you know, one time, this is a true story. The only sort of really vivid memory I have of that is when I was a kid, when a bag of chips was still 25 cents. And it was like a crowded thing at the convenience store after school and there were a bunch of kids in there. I was probably 11, maybe 10. And I was like, fuck it. And I had to catch a thing, so I just took the chips. And I felt so guilty overnight. I went in the next day and I put a quarter on the counter at the store.

• 4:52Sean Hayes?

  Willie, a bloke, yeah. Willie, our man. Willie.

• 4:56Will Arnett?

  I know, I know. It ate away at me. I couldn't like, I was like, oh, I can't.

• 5:00Jason Bateman?

  Have you ever done anything that would justify um you getting arrested that you've gotten away with?

• 5:07Will Arnett?

  No.

• 5:07Sean Hayes?

  I did. I was arrested.

• 5:09Jason Bateman?

  You don't have to tell me. You can just say, yes, I did get away with a couple of things I could have been arrested for had it been caught.

• 5:16Will Arnett?

  No, no, like, no.

• 5:17Sean Hayes?

  I was arrested for that turkey sandwich.

• 5:19Will Arnett?

  Were you?

• 5:19Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 5:20Jason Bateman?

  A turkey sandwich?

• 5:21Sean Hayes?

  I told you I stole a turkey sandwich in college. I was really drunk and the cops arrested me.

• 5:27Sean Hayes?

  I told you that.

• 5:27Jason Bateman?

  That is, I don't remember.

• 5:29Will Arnett?

  I don't know if I've ever heard a more on-brand arrest story.

• 5:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 5:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, it was in it.

• 5:34Jason Bateman?

  Well, because, and the turkey sandwich was definitely on white bread with mayo only.

• 5:37Sean Hayes?

  Of course, yeah, it was wrapped, you know, it was like in a 7-Eleven or what we call a white hen. It was called white hen.

• 5:43Will Arnett?

  Yeah, sure.

• 5:44Sean Hayes?

  And um, and I was with my friends. I was so hungry and I didn't have any money, so I just stole the turkey sandwich. I was really drunk. We were eating out in front and the cop just stands right in front of me. He's like, hey buddy, you're coming with me. And I was like, for a turkey sandwich? And he put me in the back and I was fighting in the back and I was.

• 6:01Jason Bateman?

  Were you cuffed? Did he cuff you?

• 6:03Sean Hayes?

  Uh, I don't remember. Probably. And um, I was.

• 6:07Jason Bateman?

  You probably asked for, you said, wait a second, you're not gonna cuff me?

• 6:09Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 6:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah. You're like, use these and you produce your own cuffs?

• 6:15Jason Bateman?

  I'm pretty sure I need nipple clamps.

• 6:18Will Arnett?

  And I think you have to, you have to cuff yourself to me.

• 6:23Jason Bateman?

  Can you put the lights on and the siren?

• 6:27Sean Hayes?

  I know my rights. My rights are you need to cough me, I just start yelling. Yeah, no, it was for a turkey sandwich and he took me to the station and I had to sit there until somebody I didn't know gave me a hundred bucks to get out.

• 6:37Will Arnett?

  I mean, what a-

• 6:38Sean Hayes?

  And it's a long story. It's a crazy story.

• 6:40Jason Bateman?

  You got mystery bail?

• 6:41Will Arnett?

  What a crazy waste of resources, though, right?

• 6:45Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:45Will Arnett?

  What a crazy waste of resources.

• 6:46Sean Hayes?

  That's what I was saying in the backseat. I mean, I, I, I, it's horrible that I said this.

• 6:51Will Arnett?

  Running your mouth.

• 6:52Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I was running my mouth because I was drunk. I was running my mouth and I said, isn't there somebody, isn't there a worse crime happening on campus right now? Like, isn't somebody getting, like, sexual harassment or something?

• 7:02Jason Bateman?

  The next go-to is, "I, my taxes pay your salary."

• 7:06Sean Hayes?

  And I did, that, that's how, all right, there come the cops.

• 7:09Will Arnett?

  I'm your boss, I'm-

• 7:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, then the cops. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to pin me down on the floor.

• 7:16Jason Bateman?

  Like, hog tie, I think?

• 7:19Will Arnett?

  I think we're supposed to turn the light, lights should be a little bit lower, don't you think? Shouldn't we have a glass of wine? Where are we? What's going on?

• 7:30Jason Bateman?

  What about how I sent Shawnee, I cut and pasted the top ten vanilla ice creams

• 7:35Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:36Jason Bateman?

  out there, and, you know, I just thought-

• 7:39Sean Hayes?

  Number one is Haagen-Dazs. Of course, it's always, it's the best one.

• 7:42Will Arnett?

  So good. Haagen-Dazs. Although, we like McConnell's.

• 7:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's true, McConnell's. I think McConnell's was on the list. Do they still make rum raisin?

• 7:50Sean Hayes?

  Probably. Why? Do you want some?

• 7:52Jason Bateman?

  I just haven't had rum raisin in so long.

• 7:54Sean Hayes?

  Well, it's got raisins in it. Why would you want ice cream with raisins in it?

• 7:57Will Arnett?

  And rum.

• 7:59Jason Bateman?

  Now, what do they do about the rum there? Do they somehow take the alcohol out of the rum?

• 8:04Will Arnett?

  No, no, they're, they're, they're putting hundred proof rum in the fucking ice cream and selling it to kids.

• 8:09Jason Bateman?

  Well, but I really, I want to know. How do they get the rum flavor and rum-

• 8:13Will Arnett?

  And there's still cocaine in Coca-Cola.

• 8:15Sean Hayes?

  And the kid, and the kid, the kids are like, the kids are like, "Hey, can I get another scoop?"

• 8:23Jason Bateman?

  All right. I'm sorry, surprise guest.

• 8:25Will Arnett?

  I know, the guest, no, no, no, I like that we said, you know, we had a great segment before about being justified, because this guy is justified in a lot of stuff that he does, I will say. He is a, he is a multi Emmy nominated actor. He has a crazy diverse list of film and TV credits that are just insane. Comedies, dramas, recently, most recently, I think that everybody was delighted to see him in FX's highly anticipated series Alien, the Alien Earth franchise.

• 8:58Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god. That's that Noah Hawley vehicle.

• 9:01Will Arnett?

  He's also, that Noah Hawley vehicle, he was also in Apple TV show last year, Stick, which has got a second season coming up. Soon, we're gonna be able to see him in, with a crazy cast with Anna Taylor-Joy and Nanette Benning and a bunch of people in this new Apple TV crime thriller series, Lucky.

• 9:18Jason Bateman?

  Who is this tasty guest?

• 9:20Will Arnett?

  He's a guy who you know, and the reason I say he's justified, because he was also Emmy nominated for the show, the show he started in called Justified. You know him also from Deadwood. You guys, it's the wonderful, and I'm so excited, Timothy Olyphant.

• 9:32Jason Bateman?

  My friend Timothy. Hi, buddy.

• 9:36Speaker 05

  Hello, gentlemen.

• 9:37Jason Bateman?

  In a year and a day.

• 9:39Speaker 05

  What a pleasure. All right, listen, I was on the set of Justified, and I was working with Eric Roberts, and he's driving and I'm sitting shotgun, and I say, there was all those ND cops around in the scene, and we're supposed to pull out in the shot, and right before we rolled, I said, I said, I gave you 20 bucks. You just hit one of these, bumped one of these cops. And he goes, he goes, I hit a cop once, not a good idea. And I was like, I was like, wait, sorry, with your vehicle? He goes, no, I hit him, I hit him.

• 10:12Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god.

• 10:13Speaker 05

  And he said, it was a bad idea, they had me on the ground so fast, and then from then on, I was just Eric the cop, hitter Roberts, couldn't catch a break. And I say to him, I ask him, how many times you been arrested? And he said something like in the double digits, and, but then he qualified it, because he said half of those were before he turned 18, and I wasn't sure how to take that. But I was taking, and then he looks at me and goes, you ever been arrested? And I said, no. And he goes, pussy.

• 10:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 10:50Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 10:51Speaker 05

  I told him I was at swim practice, you know what I mean?

• 10:53Jason Bateman?

  It happened to me once.

• 10:55Will Arnett?

  Oh, I love Jason's story. It's so good.

• 10:57Jason Bateman?

  Pussy style. I was.

• 10:59Will Arnett?

  It involves Monaco.

• 11:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I was arrested in Monaco for being drunk and disorderly in a, in a, in a nice little leopard, leopard outfit, fresh from the casinos, all banged up on, you know, cheap champagne and a pocketful of chips. Yeah, just got rocked.

• 11:17Sean Hayes?

  That's the name of his biography.

• 11:20Will Arnett?

  So good.

• 11:20Jason Bateman?

  Hey, but Sean, it sounds like we found a hack for you. Uh, if you ever do want the hog tie, you just gotta punch, punch the cop in the face. Yeah, I just wrote it down. I just wrote that.

• 11:28Speaker 05

  You got it? Yeah.

• 11:29Jason Bateman?

  Note to self.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  That's why, listen, I'm here for you. That's why, that's why I brought it.

• 11:34Jason Bateman?

  Well, first, it's so nice to see you. But I've seen all of Alien Earth. You're amazing in everything, but I just.

• 11:40Speaker 05

  Very kind of you.

• 11:40Jason Bateman?

  Will said that. I love that show. You're amazing in it.

• 11:43Will Arnett?

  Did you see Sean's face? I knew that when I said that. And he's like.

• 11:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, such a good show. It's coming back, no?

• 11:51Will Arnett?

  Hey, cool it, man.

• 11:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, we start shooting in a little bit. Thank you for asking.

• 11:55Jason Bateman?

  You sound excited about it.

• 11:58Jason Bateman?

  You gotta start shooting a little bit.

• 12:00Speaker 05

  You know what? Here's, tell me you guys aren't the same. We shot the first season in.

• 12:04Jason Bateman?

  In Thailand or something, right?

• 12:05Speaker 05

  In Thailand. We were in Bangkok.

• 12:07Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow.

• 12:07Speaker 05

  And it was just a magical experience. What? But.

• 12:10Jason Bateman?

  I heard, I heard it was a nightmare. I mean, there's a lot of tough conditions there.

• 12:15Jason Bateman?

  I, I know people.

• 12:18Will Arnett?

  Don't put him on the spot.

• 12:20Jason Bateman?

  Go ahead.

• 12:20Speaker 05

  There's nothing better than listening to Actors Bitch. Come on. It's the name of my book. But don't be afraid to bitch and other tips for young actors.

• 12:29Jason Bateman?

  Well, that's so hot.

• 12:30Speaker 05

  Look at us, this group here, you know what they call it? Like a murder of crows and you're like a flock of seagulls. We got a little complaint of actors.

• 12:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it doesn't have the air conditioning of the Warner Brothers lot down there.

• 12:40Speaker 05

  Listen, I'm with you. I'm getting to my bitch, bitching, which is, when we were there, it was quite magical. I, it's hot, but it was a magical, crazy, amazing place. And the more you're there, the more you need to know it, the more you like it. And at the same time, you're like, I hope I don't have to come back.

• 12:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 05

  So for season two, they say, we're not, uh, we were like, we don't want, please don't go back. And they said, no, we're not gonna go back. We're gonna go to either London or Budapest. And no offense to, but I was like, oh, please, London, London, right? London. And then you get the call from your agent that says, hey, good news. Season two, London. And I was like,

• 13:17Jason Bateman?

  God damn.

• 13:17Speaker 05

  Can't shoot in LA?

• 13:22Speaker 05

  It goes that quick.

• 13:23Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 05

  That quick. It's like, fuck, I gotta leave, I gotta.

• 13:27Jason Bateman?

  Now, but you so, right. So what, what is that? What's your process of the thought, like getting comfortable with that? Like it, we are, we are vagabonds, right? Like you, you start to process very quickly. Okay, I'm gonna be spending five months in a foreign land, in a hotel or rent a place, whatever. It's like, you immediately start thinking about, you know, uh,

• 13:49Will Arnett?

  Logistics.

• 13:50Jason Bateman?

  Do you have a wife and children that you're gonna have to figure out how to, or whatever, your whole life at home is all upended. Start to bitch about that for me.

• 14:02Speaker 05

  The wife and children?

• 14:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 14:04Jason Bateman?

  Well, you can start there. But just getting uprooted and stuff.

• 14:08Speaker 05

  Thirty-five years of marriage this summer.

• 14:10Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's great. That's amazing.

• 14:12Speaker 05

  Seven really good ones.

• 14:14Will Arnett?

  Sure, sure.

• 14:16Speaker 05

  So, uh, we're, well, right now, we're empty nesters.

• 14:20Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 14:20Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 14:21Speaker 05

  You guys are not, none of, no, you're not there.

• 14:23Jason Bateman?

  I'm half, I'm half empty.

• 14:24Will Arnett?

  Jason's half, I'm a, I got one more year until my first one goes to college.

• 14:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, so they don't, they just leave you. So just so you know, like if I did it again, I wouldn't have gotten so close.

• 14:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's serious. I've talked about it before. I think I tried to pick fights with my older one. Yeah, just so it wouldn't hurt so bad.

• 14:42Speaker 05

  Does she, uh, your oldest?

• 14:44Jason Bateman?

  But she ended, she, yeah, she's nineteen, but she ended up going to school in, in town. So it didn't hurt quite as bad.

• 14:50Speaker 05

  Oh, did she just become like weeks before leaving, just like, who is this fucking devil that's taking over my child?

• 14:58Jason Bateman?

  Right, yeah. Well, no, she's, she's had a lot of, uh, you know, as they do at that age. They spend a lot of time outside the house. So it's not, it's not, as somebody smart once said, you're not losing your ten-year-old.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:10Jason Bateman?

  You know, like their, their, their, their wings are flapping well before they, they.

• 15:14Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and she's a particularly good kid, I will say. She's a really nice kid.

• 15:18Speaker 05

  She's a good kid, but there's a Tom Poppers, has, I think it's him, has a joke that when it is, when your kids leave, nobody prepares you how hard it's gonna be to pretend to be sad.

• 15:34Speaker 05

  But even the best kids, they tend to act up right before they leave, right? They tend to be like, they got to.

• 15:39Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's part of their emancipation.

• 15:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, it makes it easier to leave.

• 15:43Will Arnett?

  Yeah, so you're getting ready to go to London and you've got to like switch it all up. You've got to kind of like start to prep. I'm about to do the same for six months to Atlanta and I'm like, every day I think about, how's that gonna go?

• 15:55Jason Bateman?

  Wait a second, hold on, we're breaking news here.

• 15:59Sean Hayes?

  No, Will's got a big job, it's super exciting.

• 16:02Jason Bateman?

  Six months in Atlanta?

• 16:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Jason Bateman?

  Well, how come I don't know about this yet?

• 16:07Will Arnett?

  Because you're not on my call sheet, I mean, I'm looking at it right now.

• 16:10Jason Bateman?

  Can't you just like hit me with a memo or something?

• 16:13Will Arnett?

  But, but so like that, you know what that, we've done it before, so you know what that's like.

• 16:17Jason Bateman?

  It's hard.

• 16:18Will Arnett?

  You're getting ready to go to, and overseas.

• 16:21Speaker 05

  What's the hardest part for you? It's always the transition, right? I don't know, you tell me. Once you're there, I feel like it's always lovely.

• 16:28Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:29Jason Bateman?

  It is, yes, but if you've got, if you've got like, Will's got kids back at home, so they're not gonna be able to be with you.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, I forget, yeah. I didn't, I was, I was very fortunate, I got so lucky, I mean, partly by design and partly just because I failed at getting jobs. But I more or less got to work and live in LA for the majority of my kids.

• 16:52Jason Bateman?

  Was justified in LA?

• 16:54Speaker 05

  Just, dead, I literally had Deadwood for three years and then justified for, I think it was six, and then I did this thing, Santa Clarita Diet for a couple.

• 17:03Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, of course.

• 17:04Speaker 05

  They all shot here.

• 17:05Jason Bateman?

  In Santa Clarita, I'll bet.

• 17:07Speaker 05

  They were all in, I basically lived, yeah, I thought I was in show business.

• 17:11Sean Hayes?

  But even in town, aren't you like, I can't wait to get home?

• 17:14Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:15Will Arnett?

  By the way, even in town, you're like, I gotta go to the valley?

• 17:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 17:19Will Arnett?

  That's what the real complaint, why can't I shoot at the Fox lot?

• 17:22Speaker 05

  Well, my kids were small, it was great. I'd just show up to work to take naps, you know, that, so when my kids were really small, I was like, look, I'd just go to work so I could get some sleep.

• 17:34Will Arnett?

  I know. We used to have an office, Jason would complain that I didn't want to go to my office. And then I had another office for my company and I'd go there and I'd show up and see my partner and I'd be like, "Hang on a second," and I'd go in, shut the door and I'd get on the couch and take a nap.

• 17:46Jason Bateman?

  Oh, God, Will.

• 17:48Will Arnett?

  I know, because I'm tired. I was tired, man. You know, dude, I was, in my intro, I started going through your credits and I was gonna say at the top, you have so many credits. You've done so much stuff of such variety. It's insane, man. I mean, you were like, you're just, you're so unbelievably versatile. And when you started as an actor, well, first, let's get, you were born in Hawaii and that you were raised in California.

• 18:18Will Arnett?

  But when you started, when you were first a young actor, did you have like a particular lane you thought you wanted to go in? Because you've eliminated the lanes, all the dotted lines evaporated for you a long time ago on whatever road you're on.

• 18:31Speaker 05

  Well, you're very kind, first of all. And by the way, back at you, because I just saw, literally just a few nights ago, is this thing on? That's the title, right?

• 18:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 18:42Speaker 05

  What a lovely, lovely performance and just so like-

• 18:46Sean Hayes?

  Isn't he great?

• 18:46Speaker 05

  Lived in and present, like you weren't, you know, that lovely thing where you're like, "This just must be what he's like," because, you know, and obviously your comedic work is off the charts, so.

• 18:57Will Arnett?

  He's got it all.

• 18:58Speaker 05

  Range, my God. It was really just a lovely, lovely, beautiful, lived-in performance, so.

• 19:05Jason Bateman?

  Sean wasn't terrible in it either. Look at Sean.

• 19:07Will Arnett?

  Sean was delightful.

• 19:08Speaker 05

  My God. Which one were you?

• 19:09Sean Hayes?

  From that.

• 19:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah, that's a good question. Which one were you?

• 19:11Sean Hayes?

  I was either Steven or Robert or something like that. Or Jeffrey, one of those.

• 19:16Will Arnett?

  You, now that I look at you, I'm like, "Yeah, you were there."

• 19:18Speaker 05

  You guys all have this, by the way. You guys all have the crazy range. Sean, you're like, in Will and Grace, you're like doing physical comedy at like the ultimate level of effortlessness. And then you're on stage doing like this incredible dramatic work.

• 19:34Sean Hayes?

  Well, thank you, thank you, yeah. Everybody's really good.

• 19:37Speaker 05

  Jason, you also, you do the acting and you do the voiceovers.

• 19:40Will Arnett?

  Oh, you are an actor.

• 19:41Speaker 05

  It's huge.

• 19:42Will Arnett?

  You are an actor.

• 19:43Speaker 05

  From both.

• 19:44Will Arnett?

  Right, right, right. Now that I see you again.

• 19:46Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, this is amazing.

• 19:47Will Arnett?

  Again, now I'm looking at you. I remember you from the Ozarks.

• 19:49Sean Hayes?

  Everybody's really amazing.

• 19:50Will Arnett?

  Right. So, but, but, but it's sort of back to my question. And I don't know, I kind of, actually, you know what I'm gonna say to all of you guys? But Timothy, I want to hear from you first, because I listen to these ding-dongs all the time. Did you, when you started, did you, were you like? Because I remember, I moved to New York, I'll start. I wanted to be a dramatic actor, I thought, because I didn't know any better. I didn't know anything about comedy, or how you get to it, or it wasn't even. So I was like, I want to be a dramatic actor. Did you have that? Were you like, I want to be taken seriously, I want to do important, important stuff? You know, the stuff that we as young men think.

• 20:23Jason Bateman?

  You don't think acting is comedy. You think acting is drama.

• 20:27Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 20:27Sean Hayes?

  Right, right.

• 20:28Speaker 05

  Again, memory's not a reliable narrator here, but my favorite actors were actors who gave comedic, dramatic performances. They were, they were just, that's what I, you know, I always felt like De Niro knew he was being funny in those roles, even the most dramatic roles. He must have known, right? He must, when he's doing Taxi Driver, he knows that's funny, right?

• 20:53Sean Hayes?

  Right, right, right.

• 20:54Speaker 05

  Doesn't he?

• 20:55Will Arnett?

  There's some moments, for sure. I wonder, I wonder, that's a good question. He must.

• 20:59Speaker 05

  Right, was, I always, I just assume when he's doing that, you talking to me, he knows that that's comedic timing that's happening there, right?

• 21:07Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Well, did you see him in King of Comedy?

• 21:09Speaker 05

  Exactly, right?

• 21:10Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I mean, it's just incredible, incredible acting performance.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  So when he did comedy, and, and some people were like, I don't, wow, who knew he could do comedy? I was like, raised my hand. I was like, well, I think it was there from the beginning, right?

• 21:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 05

  I don't know, you don't.

• 21:23Jason Bateman?

  I still, I feel like Will Ferrell.

• 21:25Will Arnett?

  Oh yeah, Will, but like that.

• 21:26Jason Bateman?

  Will Ferrell's playing these eccentric characters that are funny because they're eccentric, but it takes great acting chops to be believably eccentric.

• 21:33Speaker 05

  And I think this is the flip side, which is like, the best comedic performances are really dramatic.

• 21:38Will Arnett?

  I, I think, I think the through line is always, it's commitment. Right? And so you're committed, we know, you know, as long as you're committed to the bit, whether it's dramatic or comedic, you have to be committed. Jason, to your thing, like, you can never wink, which is why when you see people who are doing stuff, when they're too aware, then you're like, okay, I don't buy it as much. But if somebody's committed to the thing, you recognize that is feeling authentic.

• 22:02Jason Bateman?

  And then one of the funniest things, I think, is when people commit to being non-committal.

• 22:09Sean Hayes?

  You know, like, like, like when you do, like when you do, like, like when you do really, when you do really bad acting on purpose, that's one of the funniest, I love that. You know, when you see somebody doing bad acting. Sing for real? Yeah, yeah, like sing for real.

• 22:25Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 22:27Speaker 06

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• 23:23Jason Bateman?

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• 24:36Speaker 05

  Oh, look. You just got added to a meeting. About coordinating another meeting. To prepare for the pre-meeting. Ahead of the follow-up meeting. Which will, of course. Require a recap meeting. And then, another meeting. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode.

• 25:05Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 25:08Will Arnett?

  Timmy, do you know Sing For Real?

• 25:10Speaker 05

  No.

• 25:10Will Arnett?

  This thing, Thoreau came up with it years ago, which is, it's so embarrassing.

• 25:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it makes your skin crawl.

• 25:15Will Arnett?

  So like, if you're driving in the car with a friend or whatever, or a song comes on the radio. And if you say to the other person, "Sing for real." They have to sing that song, and they can't do any, like, you, like, say it's like, Satisfaction by The Stones. You can't do like, "Ah, I can't," like, you can't put anything on. You have to do it as real as possible.

• 25:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and it's really uncomfortable.

• 25:34Will Arnett?

  It's so uncomfortable.

• 25:37Sean Hayes?

  It's so uncomfortable. It makes your skin crawl. Like, if I, I had, we did it in the documentary too, but I had Will do it in the car one time. And I couldn't even look at him. It was so, I could, it was horrible.

• 25:49Will Arnett?

  It's the worst feeling.

• 25:51Sean Hayes?

  Like, driving with your pants off.

• 25:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 25:53Speaker 05

  And you're, it's funny you said Satisfaction, because I don't think of that as being like, singing it for real, but it is, no matter what, you really are saying, like, this fucking man comes on the radio, you're, right, and telling you how white your shirts can be, and he can't be a real man, like, you're in it.

• 26:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, sing for real Satisfaction. Sing, you're gonna sing it totally real right now.

• 26:13Speaker 05

  No.

• 26:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  Don't make him do it.

• 26:15Sean Hayes?

  Do it.

• 26:16Speaker 05

  Who, me?

• 26:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. You have to do it. Go.

• 26:19Jason Bateman?

  He's not doing it.

• 26:20Sean Hayes?

  God.

• 26:20Jason Bateman?

  You have to do that shit, Timothy.

• 26:22Will Arnett?

  It's so rough to do it.

• 26:24Sean Hayes?

  See, because you just thought about it. You just thought about it. You're like, "I can't do it. I can't do it."

• 26:28Speaker 05

  I, I'm looking at Will, and I'm thinking, "I have to do it," based on that reaction. Anything not to do it. You can't. Give me some lyrics. What do I, I just, no, look, is, this is not singing, though. I don't know, okay, I can't sing. Let's start there. You can't do like a Mick Jagger impersonation.

• 26:44Will Arnett?

  No, you can't.

• 26:44Sean Hayes?

  You have to do it. You have to do it.

• 26:46Speaker 05

  I can do.

• 26:46Will Arnett?

  No.

• 26:47Sean Hayes?

  No, you can't. You have to, you have to sing it like you're recording it for real.

• 26:51Will Arnett?

  You have to do it. Okay.

• 26:52Speaker 05

  So I just was listening to this yesterday, and if I'm not mistaken, had I not said... Uh, when a man comes on the radio.

• 27:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 05

  Tells me useless information. Is, is the guy on the radio giving the useless information? Or is he telling him how white his shirts can be? Come on, everybody. Who's telling him how white his shirts can be? And who's telling him useless information just to drive my imagination?

• 27:17Will Arnett?

  Let me see, let me see.

• 27:17Sean Hayes?

  It's the DJ, he's yelling at the DJ.

• 27:19Speaker 05

  Drive my imagination.

• 27:21Will Arnett?

  When I'm driving in my car. And the man comes on the radio.

• 27:27Speaker 05

  Tells me how white my shirts can be.

• 27:31Will Arnett?

  About some useless.

• 27:33Speaker 05

  What, what did he say there? God damn it.

• 27:35Will Arnett?

  No, no, it's later, hang on, hang on. Oh, you're right, hang on, here, here we go.

• 27:38Speaker 05

  I just love, my favorite thing about this song, by the way.

• 27:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 05

  Is that he's, Mick at one point says, cause he's on a losing streak. And I just love the idea that Mick is having a hard time with the, you know, like he was having a tough time. And that guy was really getting under his skin, cause he was, right?

• 27:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah, let's be real.

• 27:56Speaker 05

  Listen, he wrote it. I'm convinced, as much as that guy sometimes seems like a.

• 28:01Will Arnett?

  That guy's never been on a losing streak.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  I know, but he's got some depth, buddy. I think there's some vulnerability there, those songs are too good.

• 28:09Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 28:09Will Arnett?

  I always wonder about people who write love songs and stuff about heartbreak. And then they're like, is that, did they have this much heartbreak always? Or like, what are they drawing on? You know, I don't know, anyway.

• 28:21Speaker 05

  No one with a happy childhood ever went into show business, buddy.

• 28:25Sean Hayes?

  Was, was your family in the show business? Higher?

• 28:28Will Arnett?

  Uh, no, no.

• 28:29Sean Hayes?

  Did your family in the show business? Yeah, where'd the acting bug come from?

• 28:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, how did that happen? When did that happen?

• 28:36Speaker 05

  It just was late, it was a hunch. Um, I mean, yeah.

• 28:41Sean Hayes?

  Just for you, nobody else in the family.

• 28:44Speaker 05

  Thought this would be good. If this doesn't work out, I got the ceramics to fall back on.

• 28:48Will Arnett?

  But where were you? Where were you geographically when you went? You woke up that morning and you had the hunch? You listened to the hunch and you went, I'm gonna be an actor.

• 28:55Speaker 05

  All right, I'll tell you, uh, the chances of me keeping this short are slim, but here we go.

• 29:00Will Arnett?

  Go ahead.

• 29:01Speaker 05

  One, I will say that, um.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  When I was a kid, I really had a whole idea fantasy of being in like show business or in comedy. And when I I'd say, I want to do that, like Steve Martin or something. My mom, God bless her, she would always say things like, you don't want to be, you don't want to be like them. They're like, you know, they're like on drugs and divorced. You don't want that life. Mm hmm. Yeah, they're all divorced. By the way, cut to years later, I was like, you're divorced. What the fuck? Yeah. You grew up in Modesto. You want drugs? We are. We're in Modesto. Oh, you grew up in Modesto. And yeah, so I grew up in Modesto. And then I went to college in LA. I went to USC. I was a fine art major because I always drew as a kid. And when I found out that was

• 29:49Speaker 05

  a major, I was like, you know, I thought I was getting away with murder. Couldn't believe they let me do it. I didn't know that that was a thing. Like you could draw?

• 29:57Jason Bateman?

  So you have a degree in drawing?

• 30:00Speaker 05

  They give you a degree for that. Yeah.

• 30:02Jason Bateman?

  You have one?

• 30:03Speaker 05

  I went, I went to, I got one like just, I finally got that a few years ago.

• 30:07Jason Bateman?

  So you didn't finish?

• 30:08Speaker 05

  But I did four years, but I didn't get my degree till, you know, just a little bit ago. It was great. Need to hear more about that. And then USC actually gave me the honor. You bought it on the black market, the way you're talking about it, by the way. They, I think it was like anything, it was like one of those COVID things. So I was like, you know what? And my kids were getting ready to get their degrees. And I was like, I gotta, I should, this is the time to do it. It was either a strike or COVID. And I went back and finished up. You went back to USC? And then they gave me the honor to go at USC, yeah. And worked with my, the same professor. It was a lovely experience. Wow. The great Ruth Weisberg, who was my professor when I was there. And she still teaches.

• 30:53Speaker 05

  That's wild. She and I got to do independent study with her. It was wonderful. And, and then I got to go speak at the Graduation ceremony for the fine art and all that, which I thought was hilarious because all those kids had accomplished in four years what took me like thirty-two. And I was there to give them advice.

• 31:17Jason Bateman?

  What were you thinking that fine art degree was going to afford you? Career-wise, like what do all these kids, what do you take that into? Like graphic design and, and, and?

• 31:27Speaker 05

  Well.

• 31:27Jason Bateman?

  Because I've, because one of my daughters is, that's, that's her jam. She's really gifted as, as an artist. My eldest daughter is actually a student at SC right now. And she's loving it. Absolutely loving it.

• 31:40Speaker 05

  Congratulations.

• 31:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, thank you. So should I encourage the, the fourteen-year-old to continue drawing? Were there, were there options explained to you there at the, at the school?

• 31:50Speaker 05

  Well, first of all, of course you have, you got, of course you encouraged her to do what she loves doing.

• 31:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah, Jason.

• 31:56Jason Bateman?

  No, I'll beat it out of her. If it's not lucrative, goddammit, I'll teach you, no, because she's gonna become a coder and learn Mandarin.

• 32:07Speaker 05

  Uh, you know, uh, yeah, what else are you gonna do, right? Keep going, honey.

• 32:13Jason Bateman?

  Mm-hmm, why don't you just go code?

• 32:14Speaker 05

  So here's what I understand now. If, if kids who get like a, a bachelor of fine arts, they just have to have so many different directions they can go. And they're thinking, and to some degree, I think they're very attractive in whatever workforce, because they were kind of just thinking outside the box all the time and being creative. Once someone gets their masters, they're gonna be like, they're gonna be an artist.

• 32:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:36Jason Bateman?

  Okay, gotcha.

• 32:37Will Arnett?

  Sean, what's, Sean, what's your degree in?

• 32:39Sean Hayes?

  Uh, my degree is, I never graduated, but I got an honorary doctorate in music. Yeah.

• 32:46Will Arnett?

  Oh, you never graduated?

• 32:47Sean Hayes?

  No, mm-mm.

• 32:48Will Arnett?

  This is breaking news. You've never, you've, you have buried the lead on this for a long time.

• 32:52Sean Hayes?

  I went four years as well, and then I got an honorary doctorate.

• 32:54Jason Bateman?

  I didn't graduate high school, so you guys got me beat.

• 32:57Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 32:58Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 32:58Speaker 05

  It doesn't show.

• 32:59Sean Hayes?

  That's right.

• 32:59Speaker 05

  No one's ever said.

• 33:00Will Arnett?

  It doesn't show. It has not hurt you.

• 33:02Jason Bateman?

  It just starts drooling.

• 33:05Speaker 05

  You're doing, you're doing great.

• 33:07Will Arnett?

  You are doing great. But wait, so you get this, you get this degree from USC in, in fine arts and drawing, and you're like, ready, ready to start, you know, drawing stuff or tagging bridges or doing something? And, and then, and then you go, at the end of all of that, you go, you know what? So what, you're in LA and you're like, I want to be an actor? Like, how did that?

• 33:27Speaker 05

  I do think I had a certain amount of conscious thinking that I was wanting to put off a midlife crisis, that I was like.

• 33:36Will Arnett?

  Whoa.

• 33:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, I really did. I was like, I think my parents were split and they were, my dad was going through his, his, his, and I just thought, that doesn't look fun. And, you know, there's, you always, you know, oh, I always wanted to do this, but I never did it. So I became this. So I was considering going to get my masters in fine arts. It's really kind of what I wanted to do. You know, like when, when grandparents and stuff would ask you, what are you gonna, that degree, what are you gonna do with it? At first, you're like, I wanna be an artist. And that, you see the expression on their face, and then you start saying, or I could do commercial work, I could do, you're talking about all

• 34:18Speaker 05

  the things you could do. But I really just wanted to be an artist. And, and, you know, it was like going to galleries and like, you know, in LA and museums and Chris Burden and Baldassari, all these people were big inspirations. But there was a bunch of things I always wanted to try that were on my mind. Like, I knew I always wanted to do stand-up. I always thought about, it'd be fun to be an actor. I thought, oh, it'd be great to be in a band, you know, things like that. And I thought, I should, I should try to cross all these off before moving forward.

• 34:55Jason Bateman?

  Those all take a great deal of courage, though.

• 34:57Speaker 05

  Well, what doesn't?

• 34:59Jason Bateman?

  Well, yeah, well, I mean, certainly standing up in front of an audience all alone with a microphone is sort of the zenith of balls.

• 35:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was thinking of that on your movie. I felt like they captured this thing that no one prepares you for when you do stand-up, which is the moment you step on, the silence that you're created by is just.

• 35:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, real quiet is terrible.

• 35:23Speaker 05

  It's so quiet. No one tells you it's gonna be that quiet before you say a word.

• 35:28Will Arnett?

  Like, the healthy respect I had for stand-ups and what they do before was, was huge. And then, and then it was just magnified the first time. I remember the first time going down at this Comedy Cellar, and I was doing it, I was getting introduced as, as my character, as Alex Novak, but I remember the first time going up there and, and trying to go up as a guy who had never done it before as well. I remember Bradley saying to me, like, we're doing something different. Don't try to rely on tricks. You have to go up and do this as this dude who's never done it. And going up there, just standing there, fucking, you're like, you, you just feel like, it's so quiet, and you feel like, oh my god, I'm about to fall off a cliff here.

• 36:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:09Will Arnett?

  And it's just, it's the best and the worst at the same time. It's simultaneously just like the most terrifying. So, yeah, stand ups, what they do is just like, fuck, man. And like, round of applause.

• 36:20Sean Hayes?

  Timothy, did you?

• 36:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, I did it for a little while. Right around the corner from Comedy Cellar in New York was a place called Boston Comedy Club, and I.

• 36:28Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, of course. Oh, you did, huh?

• 36:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, I did.

• 36:32Sean Hayes?

  Do you still remember some of the jokes? I'll tell you some of mine.

• 36:35Will Arnett?

  Oh, Sean has a really famous first opening joke.

• 36:37Jason Bateman?

  Sean's got a great opener.

• 36:39Speaker 05

  Before he asked me to sing.

• 36:40Will Arnett?

  He's told it before, but Timothy, just respond to the joke.

• 36:43Speaker 05

  Sean, this relationship is like, hey, Tim, sing for us. Hey, Tim, tell us some jokes.

• 36:47Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, perform for us, monkey.

• 36:48Jason Bateman?

  He'll keep whipping you like a monkey, yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  I'm trying.

• 36:52Will Arnett?

  Why don't you, why don't you whet the appetite? Here we go.

• 36:54Sean Hayes?

  My opening joke was, you know, they say ballet is one of the most difficult things to do, so I just say, don't do it.

• 36:59Will Arnett?

  Oh, fuck. And that's the joke, Timothy. So, I mean, that's it.

• 37:03Jason Bateman?

  Never gets, never gets good.

• 37:05Will Arnett?

  No, never gets old or funny.

• 37:09Speaker 05

  Right, right. And, well, I appreciate you calling me Timothy, but you know, you can call me Tim.

• 37:13Will Arnett?

  Can I call you Tim? I didn't know you could call you Tim.

• 37:16Speaker 05

  Sean, you as well.

• 37:17Sean Hayes?

  Okay, great.

• 37:17Speaker 05

  Bateman?

• 37:18Jason Bateman?

  Not, not so much.

• 37:20Speaker 05

  Just, you're close. You're close. You know what I mean?

• 37:23Will Arnett?

  Do you guys know each other a little bit? Do you guys have?

• 37:25Speaker 05

  We worked together for a smidge.

• 37:28Jason Bateman?

  Uh, not, is this thing on? Uh, this is where I leave you. Close, close, close in title.

• 37:33Will Arnett?

  This is where I leave you.

• 37:33Speaker 05

  And, uh, and you remember, cause by the way, I'm at Trapecio's office. That's where I am.

• 37:39Jason Bateman?

  Oh, are you really?

• 37:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, I needed a computer. I guess you can't do your show if you don't own a computer.

• 37:43Jason Bateman?

  Do you not own a computer?

• 37:46Speaker 05

  No, I don't. It turns out. I didn't realize that.

• 37:49Will Arnett?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 37:52Jason Bateman?

  Let's start there.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, I got like a, you know, I got a phone and I got a thing. That's all you gotta do. We're backing up? We're starting from here?

• 37:59Jason Bateman?

  I don't buy it. You don't have, and you being an artist, you don't have an iPad with one of those little, one of those little stylus pens, pen thingies that?

• 38:07Speaker 05

  No.

• 38:08Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Tim.

• 38:09Speaker 05

  You're like a pencil in the paper, Jason. Come on, the pencil in the paper.

• 38:12Will Arnett?

  Fucking baller.

• 38:13Sean Hayes?

  Wait, you really truly don't have a computer?

• 38:15Speaker 05

  I don't. Well, I, let me. Because I think honesty is very important in this.

• 38:20Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 38:20Jason Bateman?

  Thank you. Thanks for not lying.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  We went, I had a, we went and got out a old desktop computer that we still have in the house and plugged it in and started it up and they were all USB things and I was like, I don't think I can, it won't, I need to get adapters and stuff.

• 38:37Will Arnett?

  Just for the purposes of doing the podcast you tried to do.

• 38:38Speaker 05

  For doing this, yeah. There's a lot of sacrifices that went into this, guys, and don't get me wrong.

• 38:42Will Arnett?

  You had to go in the closet and pull out.

• 38:44Speaker 05

  I appreciate, I'm super honored. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm a big fan. I listen. I don't listen, but I read the transcripts and it's very, it shows very good, very, very good.

• 38:52Jason Bateman?

  Sure, sure. It's better in written form.

• 38:54Speaker 05

  The chemistry comes across in the print.

• 38:55Will Arnett?

  I remember getting a note from our producer saying, we're going to be producing transcripts for Tim Olyphant and we're mailing them to him every day.

• 39:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. But wait, but Tim, you've never been tempted to buy a laptop or a desktop just to see the landscape out there? Like all the different sites you can go visit to expose yourself to.

• 39:19Speaker 05

  Felt a little.

• 39:20Will Arnett?

  Jason goes on a lot of sites and exposes himself is what he's trying to say.

• 39:28Jason Bateman?

  Hey, gang, ever seen one of these?

• 39:31Will Arnett?

  Hey, gang.

• 39:32Jason Bateman?

  Hey, yeah, hey, gang.

• 39:34Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, wait. This is so dumb that you don't have a laptop. Jason has 100 laptops. They're all brand new.

• 39:39Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 39:39Will Arnett?

  Just to look at baseball scores.

• 39:40Jason Bateman?

  All these, all this talk about AI and stuff, not curious to see what the fuss is about?

• 39:47Speaker 05

  But you can do all that on little phones.

• 39:49Jason Bateman?

  I guess you can't, but you're always spreading and spreading and clicking and spreading.

• 39:53Will Arnett?

  Don't do your fingers like that. Stop doing that.

• 39:56Jason Bateman?

  It's spreading and sliding. It's just like, uh-uh.

• 40:00Will Arnett?

  How about Chris Nolan doesn't even have a phone? It's, I'm like, so jealous.

• 40:04Speaker 05

  I know one or two people without a phone. It's the most exciting relationship.

• 40:07Will Arnett?

  Oh, God.

• 40:08Speaker 05

  When you, if you know someone without a phone and you're like, all right, so we're meeting at like seven, you know, dinner at seven tomorrow and then on the way there, you're like, this is, I'm so excited. It was like being in high school again.

• 40:20Will Arnett?

  Just rolling the dice.

• 40:21Speaker 05

  They said they'd be here.

• 40:22Will Arnett?

  Remember, remember, we're old enough. Remember like being teenagers and being like, hey, so. You'll run into people, you'll go, well, let's do something. And you had to go there. And then, and then you'd run into people maybe.

• 40:33Speaker 05

  Maybe they were there.

• 40:34Will Arnett?

  And maybe they were there.

• 40:35Speaker 05

  And see them in the next place. Where were you?

• 40:37Will Arnett?

  And the night would unfold. If you go out at night, the night would just kind of unfold the way it was going to unfold.

• 40:42Jason Bateman?

  What about directions? What about directions? Remember when you used to have a map? A map book, the Thomas Guide, or even one of those fold out maps? Or just a sheet of paper with the list of directions. Are you going to turn left on such and such? Then go a mile, then turn right on such and such.

• 40:55Will Arnett?

  Or you had to ask people for directions.

• 40:56Speaker 05

  You know what's embarrassing? Embarrassing about having a friend without a phone as you're going to meet them. Let's say it's a seven o'clock, you're meeting them at dinner. You realize that we oftentimes are like, like, hey, on my way out the door, ETA 7:05. And then it's like parking, like you're literally giving the play by play on the way there. It's when you don't have that option, you realize how embarrassing that is.

• 41:27Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh. But you do, you do have a phone.

• 41:30Speaker 05

  I have a phone, yeah.

• 41:31Jason Bateman?

  You do have a phone. All right.

• 41:32Will Arnett?

  How about this? I was talking about this the other day with people. How about when you have plans, even with somebody you do want to see? And they go, can't make it. And the relief of not having to go to something is so great when somebody bails. They're like, hey, I can't make it. And you're like, oh, no problem. And you're thinking like, oh, God, I get to stay.

• 41:50Jason Bateman?

  Found time. Yeah. It's money in the pocket.

• 41:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah, finding a 20 in an old jacket.

• 41:55Jason Bateman?

  Hello, friend.

• 41:56Will Arnett?

  Hi.

• 41:59Will Arnett?

  Wait, you know what? I want to say, talk about old friends and working together makes me think. Justified, which was so good, and you were so good, and it was amazing. And over the, you said it was five years. I didn't realize it was five. You did it with our old friend, certainly Sean and my old friend, Margot Martindale.

• 42:14Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's great.

• 42:15Will Arnett?

  We adore, whom I adore.

• 42:17Jason Bateman?

  She's the best.

• 42:18Speaker 05

  Must be nice to have one of those, be one of those people that when people say your name, everyone just goes, oh.

• 42:24Jason Bateman?

  Oh, guess what? Guess what? You're, you're one of those people.

• 42:27Will Arnett?

  I think you are.

• 42:27Jason Bateman?

  You're one of those people. You are.

• 42:29Will Arnett?

  Sean, start.

• 42:31Jason Bateman?

  It's true. It's really true. It's really true.

• 42:34Will Arnett?

  I think, I think you are. Yeah, Margot Martindale. I mean, I will say.

• 42:38Speaker 05

  What an absolute, just, just a legend.

• 42:41Jason Bateman?

  I haven't had the pleasure yet.

• 42:42Speaker 05

  Oh dude.

• 42:42Jason Bateman?

  I'm a huge fan though.

• 42:44Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you would love her.

• 42:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:46Will Arnett?

  She, I remember, I remember years ago, she did that, uh, one of Krasinski's movies. And so she didn't know John and he, and he asked me to introduce him to her. Uh, and it ended up being really, really good. And so I said, hey, John Krasinski wants to call you and can I give him your number? And she was like, okay. And then she called me after she goes, look, I told him I'm gonna do his fucking movie. So it better be fucking good or else this is on you. Cause you fucking forced me to do this. I was like, wait.

• 43:11Speaker 05

  So good.

• 43:12Will Arnett?

  You know, Margo, I mean, that's so on brand for her and she ended up being wonderful, obviously. But she's the best.

• 43:18Speaker 05

  Yeah. I had the pleasure of sitting next to her when, uh, she won an Emmy. And it was such a lovely moment. I remember, I don't know why it pops in my head, cause all that is what I spent a year with. You know, that personality you were just talking about and, and such a, like, whether the camera was rolling or not, you just felt like you were getting this authentic, connected, amazing, just, it was so easy. And then we were at the Emmys and, uh, her category is before mine. So I, I just remember that when they were, they were sitting, I'm sitting next to her and they're announcing the names and all that. And then they say the winner is, and when they said her name, she squeezed my hand.

• 44:03Speaker 05

  Like it could have bruised me, like getting the squeeze that happened.

• 44:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 44:08Speaker 05

  It was the first time I kind of understood what the awards meant. You know, like, I was like, oh, that moment when that involuntarily like, oh my God. You know, and then it was so moving. Not much of a story, but it's something that's just a moment that I remember sharing with her.

• 44:27Jason Bateman?

  Well, then she forgot to thank you. Did she, did she thank you when she got on stage?

• 44:30Speaker 05

  She did. No, she did.

• 44:32Jason Bateman?

  She did.

• 44:33Speaker 05

  She was, she was classic.

• 44:36Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 44:40Speaker 06

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• 45:09Jason Bateman?

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• 45:51Jason Bateman?

  That's C-O-O-P, sleepgoods.com/comedy.

• 45:57Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 46:00Sean Hayes?

  But Timothy, you know, Tim, sorry.

• 46:03Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 46:04Sean Hayes?

  So familiar.

• 46:06Will Arnett?

  T-Dog, T-Bow.

• 46:07Sean Hayes?

  T-Dog. Did you, I remember that, I, I, the other day, and I'm just remembering, I threw my feed on Instagram. I saw a clip of you telling the story about Deadwood. About, it was so funny. Can you tell what happened again? It was like the worst Deadwood story or something. It was so funny. I mean, I don't want to give it away. And if you don't want to tell it, you don't have to, but it's already on Instagram.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  We'll talk about it later. It's already, exactly.

• 46:33Sean Hayes?

  But it's so funny.

• 46:34Speaker 05

  It was so small. Well, you know, Milch stories, you guys know the, you guys have heard the Milch stories over the years?

• 46:41Sean Hayes?

  We've heard some, heard some rumblings, but I bet you Tracy is not.

• 46:44Speaker 05

  No.

• 46:45Sean Hayes?

  Sean's sister, she's not, she's not hip to the Hollywood stories.

• 46:49Speaker 05

  David Milch, by the way, his, by the way, his book, have you read his, have you read?

• 46:52Will Arnett?

  No.

• 46:53Sean Hayes?

  I don't, I don't read.

• 46:54Will Arnett?

  David Milch for Tracy created Deadwood, amongst other things.

• 46:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, NYPD Blue, Hill Street Blues.

• 47:00Will Arnett?

  Legend.

• 47:00Speaker 05

  Deadwood, and, and just a legend of a, of a writer and one of these guys who like, you know, graduated first in his class at Yale, had a heroin addiction, you know, like, a combination of brilliance and, and life experiences that often don't go together, you know? And so, almost every day on that set was these kinds of stories. But we had, was it the second season?

• 47:32Speaker 05

  There was, we had a storyline where I'm married to my, which wasn't what really happened in real life, which my character is a real guy, Seth Bullock. But anyway, he was married to his brother's widow and was raising his brother's child as his own kind of thing. So we had this whole, this kid and like a lot, I think, there was romblings on set one day that there was some issue with, with the kid as either his reps or his mother, but David was really upset about something. And I was like, I'm not gonna pay attention. I'm just doing my thing. All I know is that by lunch, it was a knock

• 48:12Speaker 05

  on my trailer door and I open, it's David, which is unusual. And I said, what's up? And he says, uh, we're gonna kill the kid.

• 48:28Speaker 05

  And

• 48:29Sean Hayes?

  We're just gonna kill him.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  This is the next minute. It's so good. Such classic showbiz moment that happened after that. He goes, uh, I said, really? He said, yeah, we're gonna kill the kid. And this is the showbiz part. He goes, it's gonna be great for you. It's gonna be really, it's gonna be some really nice, some wonderful.

• 48:49Will Arnett?

  There's more room for you. And a great, great moment.

• 48:52Speaker 05

  Some wonder moments, these amazing moments. And he's gonna be, and killed and you'll be, oh, in his bed, side and he talking to him and as if you're his brother and you're his brother, your brother and wonderful. And it's gonna be good for the kid too. And

• 49:11Jason Bateman?

  It'll free him up for other opportunities.

• 49:12Speaker 05

  And yeah, we did, the whole season was this epic story that that, whatever happened that morning turned into the season.

• 49:23Will Arnett?

  That's so amazing.

• 49:25Sean Hayes?

  That's amazing.

• 49:26Will Arnett?

  JB, JB, as an actor who directs, how cognizant are you of being, of understanding the process that they're going through when you're giving it out?

• 49:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I mean, it's all about, you're gonna get a worse performance if you leave that note session with the actor and the actor feels bad.

• 49:46Speaker 05

  Right.

• 49:47Jason Bateman?

  You know, so it's, it's, it's all people's skills, right? You just gotta, you gotta prop them up while you're telling them to be different.

• 49:54Speaker 05

  Here's why, I did a movie with Larry Kazin, just a dream working with him. And he came up to me after, I think more than one take. Yeah, it was a couple, because he said to me, he said, uh, Tim, uh, there's a joke there, but we wouldn't know it because you keep fucking it up. Should we just move on or do you want to try again?

• 50:19Jason Bateman?

  Hey, Tim, you get this, right?

• 50:23Speaker 05

  And so he circles a line of the script. Very usable, like, okay, lightning. That was a good note.

• 50:30Sean Hayes?

  I just had another, that you just reminded me, I just did this play in New York and Lee Silverman, who's brilliant, she's an incredible director and a good friend. And she goes, at the first run through, it's a one man show, I did the whole thing the very first time, and afterwards I go, I feel like I'm just saying words. And she goes, yeah, yeah, it looks like that.

• 50:50Jason Bateman?

  Oh, fuck. Wow.

• 50:52Sean Hayes?

  Which was great, which was good.

• 50:54Jason Bateman?

  Was it?

• 50:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was the kick in the, I needed a kick in the pants.

• 50:57Jason Bateman?

  But you were just so happy you got through it and you didn't forget a line all that, probably, right? I mean, that was a big test.

• 51:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but I mean, I needed, I needed to actually think about what I was saying.

• 51:06Speaker 05

  Now, on the other hand, I did, I did a couple of months on a, with Soderbergh, forgive me for dropping a name, that's what you do here, right? Three months?

• 51:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 51:18Speaker 05

  Not a single note.

• 51:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 05

  For three months. That's terrifying in its own way. Three months. And once, I was in a car with him, I was driving, it's just me and, and him, and, and he's, you know, operating, and I got back in the car and I said, well, what do you think? And he goes,

• 51:38Speaker 05

  If on a scale of one to 10, that was a seven, maybe an eight? And I was like, alright, cool. That was, so that was technically our one exchange.

• 51:46Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 51:47Speaker 05

  One performance exchange.

• 51:49Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but he's also editing too.

• 51:50Will Arnett?

  No, it's interesting. I was gonna, I was gonna say, I was, yeah, he is editing, but I was, I was gonna say, interesting you mentioned Soderbergh, because he is operating. And when we were doing our movie with the, Is This Thing On with Bradley, and we're old friends, and he's also operating, right? Bradley operated that whole film. So he, and as you know, is very close, you know, he's like, camera's in my face. And we'd start to roll, we're rolling, blah, blah, blah. And he put the camera up, we haven't even started yet, and then he put it down for a second, and he looked, and he's like this far, and you go, no acting. And then the camera right back up. And I'm like, fuck. Like pre, and he was right.

• 52:26Speaker 05

  I love that.

• 52:27Will Arnett?

  And it was so disarming, like, you know, I had one time also, I did, um, I did one of these, uh, I did two of these Ninja Turtle movies years ago, like 10, 15 years ago. And we were in, we were in Madison Square Garden, and it was produced by Michael Bay. And, uh, but he came in one day to shoot all this stuff at, at Madison Square Garden. We, we shot at a Knicks game, and then they cleared out, and then we did this stuff on the floor. And he decided to operate. He wanted to do this one bit where it kinda, and like, the camera goes off this action, then up to me in the front row. He goes, okay, reset. And it was like chaotic and stuff was going, and he's really on top of it. He knows where everything is, and he's got a crane going at the same time, and he's operating. And he's, camera's down, and he's like, following along the ball, and then he just goes like this, and they, he just goes right up onto me, and he just goes,

• 53:12Will Arnett?

  say something funny. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Literally like that. It was a nightmare. And I'm like, ah, and I said something super sweaty.

• 53:20Speaker 05

  Farts.

• 53:21Will Arnett?

  You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly.

• 53:23Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 53:25Will Arnett?

  I can't wait to talk a little bit about, um, uh, well, you've got a couple of things coming. You've got this mini-series called The Five Star Weekend.

• 53:32Speaker 05

  The kids moved out. I've been working more than ever, ever in my life.

• 53:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I mean, you have.

• 53:37Speaker 05

  I guess I don't have to go to a tennis tournament this weekend, so yeah, let's go.

• 53:40Will Arnett?

  Alien Earth is renewed for season two. Stick, season two is, is renewed for season two.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  That was a joy of a gig.

• 53:47Will Arnett?

  Adventures of Cliff Booth was, which is coming out, uh, around Christmas time?

• 53:52Speaker 05

  Speaking of no notes, Fincher.

• 53:54Will Arnett?

  Yeah, talk, talk about Adventures of Cliff Booth. I want to know about this.

• 53:58Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what is it? Is it a film?

• 53:59Speaker 05

  The, uh.

• 54:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's the prequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, right?

• 54:04Will Arnett?

  Oh. Is it prequel or sequel?

• 54:06Speaker 05

  It's a sequel.

• 54:08Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 54:08Jason Bateman?

  Sequel, but isn't it, is it the time before, um, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

• 54:15Speaker 05

  If I get this wrong, uh, it wouldn't be that surprising, but I'm pretty sure it's after, you know, it's after.

• 54:21Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 54:21Speaker 05

  It's, yeah.

• 54:22Will Arnett?

  I love that you're not sure.

• 54:23Speaker 05

  It's The Adventures of Cliff Booth, and it's later.

• 54:26Jason Bateman?

  Gotcha.

• 54:27Speaker 05

  I think we're, uh, I think we're in the seventies.

• 54:30Jason Bateman?

  And so Fincher, light touch, um, I'm not, I'm not saying that sarcastically, but I, I would imagine, performance notes.

• 54:37Speaker 05

  My favorite thing to do was this, after we'd finished a take, is before he said anything, I'd say, can I get one more?

• 54:45Speaker 05

  If I could just get one more.

• 54:46Jason Bateman?

  Once again.

• 54:47Speaker 05

  You know, Tracy, he, he's famous for many takes. We're talking, right?

• 54:52Jason Bateman?

  Yes.

• 54:52Speaker 05

  I'm telling Tracy.

• 54:53Will Arnett?

  That was good usage of Tracy.

• 54:55Speaker 05

  Hey, thanks. Uh, yeah, so we would do, uh, yeah, we, I did a scene, um, yeah, for like two days, day and a half. I didn't, we, like, I'd never done anything like that. I felt like I was pledging a fraternity. Felt a little bit like, like, oh, let's go again. Let's do it. Fuck yeah, I want to be part of this. Let's go.

• 55:14Will Arnett?

  Was it technical? Yeah, was it mostly because of technical and framing and light?

• 55:17Jason Bateman?

  Composition thing?

• 55:18Speaker 05

  Honestly, it's, um, it's oftentimes, uh, multiple. It's oftentimes a, uh, everything. It's, okay, on that moment, you know, maybe this, and then, uh, when you lift your hand up, show me where it is. Okay, now move it just an inch left. Okay, now down just a half an inch. Lift it right there. And you're like, okay, just a lot of that. So it's everything from when you lean forward, don't lean quite that far, a little there. It, it, so everything, it can get super, super technical visually, but it can also get, um, very, very specific about, uh, you know, when you do that, maybe it's more of a, an order, maybe it's more of a, like, you.

• 56:00Jason Bateman?

  So it will sometimes be performance.

• 56:02Speaker 05

  It's almost like doing a run of a play, you know, like a scene, but you're doing it so many ti- you're doing it the master, you're doing like 20 times, and then you're pushing it 20 times, and you're like, so for a day and a half, you're just doing this scene.

• 56:14Jason Bateman?

  What was the most number of pages you did on one day? Was there ever more than three pages in a day? I bet there wasn't.

• 56:20Speaker 05

  No, I'm very briefly in it, so I just, I'm showing up for this, this thing, and, um, I don't know how many pages that was, but we shot it for a day and a half.

• 56:28Jason Bateman?

  Wow, what a, oh, love that.

• 56:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, we didn't, my coverage was day two. It was kind of, it was fascinating. And because you. So I loved it. I really loved it. And I think years ago, when I was reading about him, I just thought, no fucking way. Life's too short. But for whatever reason, at this point, in my, I just was like, yeah, let's do 30 takes. Great.

• 56:50Jason Bateman?

  Oh, man, I just.

• 56:51Will Arnett?

  It's an experience, if nothing else.

• 56:53Speaker 05

  It throws you to a, there's a surreal quality that starts to happen that you don't expect, which is, you're doing it so many times, it's hard to shut out the voice that feels like you're doing it wrong.

• 57:07Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 57:08Speaker 05

  You know, and that's the kiss of death, right? So you have to, so it's hard to, you also start to lose your instincts because, I mean, it really does, it really is like a, you know, it's like, pledging the fraternity here, and they're gonna break me down, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna crack.

• 57:23Jason Bateman?

  He's talked about that. He's talked about some of the strategy is to like.

• 57:27Speaker 05

  Because if you do a great take, you know that feeling, right? Jason, you finish a take and you think, that just felt so money. The fact that you're gonna do 15 more after that take, you start to go, maybe it wasn't that good. I don't know. You have to shut that voice out, because you just have to realize, no, we're.

• 57:44Jason Bateman?

  But he talks about that sometimes he'll do a bunch of takes just to get the actor to stop acting, you know, because you just run out of acting ideas, and then you just end up just saying the fucking lines. And that's sometimes what he's looking for, is I don't want performance, just say the lines and.

• 58:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:02Will Arnett?

  Just slide down the wall. Just fall out of frame.

• 58:05Jason Bateman?

  Right, exactly.

• 58:06Will Arnett?

  Kind of.

• 58:07Jason Bateman?

  You're doing too much.

• 58:08Speaker 05

  Yeah. But isn't, I feel like I've gotten, I mean, say this with a grain of salt, but for the most part, my technique for the last decade or so has been memorizing the lines, and then memorizing them to exhaustion, so I show up hopefully in that place. So then to show up and then keep going, it's like, you have to readjust your.

• 58:29Will Arnett?

  Sean's motto is always like, does this put me on the 405 this next take? Like, you know what I mean? Like.

• 58:33Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh. What do they need?

• 58:36Speaker 05

  How do you expect me to act like this? How do you expect me to act that well when you've seen the craft service table? And we both know that's fucked up.

• 58:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, terrible.

• 58:45Will Arnett?

  Wait, so we have to, because I can't believe it's been an hour already. I feel like I could talk to you about this shit for fucking ever. Talk about Lucky. Lucky is about to come out, this new series, we have to mention it.

• 58:56Jason Bateman?

  What's Lucky?

• 58:57Speaker 05

  So I got, Lucky is also with the same preface as the, whether it's a prequel or a sequel. If I get some of this wrong, it won't be surprising.

• 59:08Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 59:10Speaker 05

  But I believe Apple, it's on Apple TV, and it's Anya Taylor-Joy and that Benny.

• 59:16Jason Bateman?

  She's great, yeah.

• 59:17Speaker 05

  Lovely. Trapper wrote it.

• 59:22Will Arnett?

  Yeah, Jonathan Trapper.

• 59:23Speaker 05

  He and I did together.

• 59:25Will Arnett?

  Oh, Jonathan Trapper.

• 59:27Speaker 05

  It's kind of a thriller.

• 59:28Will Arnett?

  Friends and Neighbors, Jonathan Trapper, right?

• 59:30Speaker 05

  Correct. There you go, there you go. So that was cool. And then there's this, that was fantastic.

• 59:38Will Arnett?

  That's good. No, that's good, very good.

• 59:40Speaker 05

  Great, great. I think people are leaning forward.

• 59:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I know, they're gonna watch now.

• 59:45Speaker 05

  And I'm gonna cut, I'm gonna move on, so that just leaves them wanting more. And then there's the Five Star Weekend with Jennifer Garner and Peacock. That's lovely, that was.

• 59:56Jason Bateman?

  Look at you, you just go, go, go, I love it. It's really awesome.

• 59:59Will Arnett?

  It's insane.

• 59:59Speaker 05

  It's kind of fun. And, yeah, thanks, I appreciate it. And then, yeah, I don't know, the kids moved out. It's just, I think, there's a lot of time on the hands.

• 1:00:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:10Speaker 05

  And then the, what was it? The Larry David thing, I think, airs after.

• 1:00:17Jason Bateman?

  Curb Your Enthusiasm?

• 1:00:18Speaker 05

  Before this comes out. No, that 250 year thing. So that was fun.

• 1:00:22Will Arnett?

  Oh, shit.

• 1:00:23Jason Bateman?

  He's gonna play at Trump's 250 year celebration?

• 1:00:26Will Arnett?

  No, no, no.

• 1:00:27Speaker 05

  He's filling in for Milli Vanilli.

• 1:00:29Jason Bateman?

  Oh, they filled it.

• 1:00:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm just doing percussion, so I guess.

• 1:00:34Jason Bateman?

  Playing the maracas?

• 1:00:35Sean Hayes?

  Um, I'm in that too, Tim.

• 1:00:37Speaker 05

  Oh, yes.

• 1:00:38Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:38Speaker 05

  And?

• 1:00:39Sean Hayes?

  It's fun? Yeah, super fun.

• 1:00:40Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:00:41Sean Hayes?

  When, I think it comes out soon, like in June or something, or July? Oh, July.

• 1:00:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, July, right?

• 1:00:45Will Arnett?

  Oh, Sean, do you want to talk a little bit about what you got coming?

• 1:00:47Speaker 05

  No, tell me. How was it? Did you enjoy it?

• 1:00:49Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was fun. What did you do? What was your scenario? So, so the, the concept is Larry David did a show for HBO to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the United States, and he put himself into historical scenarios to reenact them. And mine was, uh, the Wright Brothers, and it was me, Jon Hamm, and Larry David. And Jon Hamm and I played Orville and, uh, um, the Wright Brothers. And he played Lawrence Wright, the third Wright Brother, and he was complaining about the middle seat on the plane that we just invented. And, um, and yours is what?

• 1:01:20Speaker 05

  I'm OK Corral.

• 1:01:21Sean Hayes?

  Oh, good, yeah.

• 1:01:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. I'm one of the Earp Brothers. And, uh, Larry, the whole OK Corral, Larry sets it off. It's all, it was him.

• 1:01:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:32Jason Bateman?

  It seems like plenty of opportunity to hire either you or me, Will.

• 1:01:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, our phone numbers must, we haven't changed in a minute. That's weird.

• 1:01:38Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 1:01:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Jason Bateman?

  Well, um.

• 1:01:40Will Arnett?

  I'm gonna just look that up. I'm gonna.

• 1:01:41Jason Bateman?

  May I should check my junk mail?

• 1:01:45Speaker 05

  Sean, I'm, it was more on you because I feel like you should have said something on their behalf.

• 1:01:49Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:01:50Sean Hayes?

  I, sorry.

• 1:01:51Speaker 05

  You know, I mean, it's, you're seeing them all the time.

• 1:01:53Jason Bateman?

  I do feel like everyone in town has been on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Will, did you do it?

• 1:01:56Will Arnett?

  No, you and I did not do it.

• 1:01:58Jason Bateman?

  You and I did not. I don't think he likes us.

• 1:02:00Will Arnett?

  You know, you know what Larry actually said to me last, this is a true story so I can say it. He said to me, uh, about six months ago, how come you were never on Curb? And I go, you never asked me.

• 1:02:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Will Arnett?

  And he was like, uh-huh. And then I said, I think I'm too tall. Anyway, I did say that to him.

• 1:02:12Jason Bateman?

  We've had him on, we've had him on the podcast, haven't we?

• 1:02:14Will Arnett?

  We have.

• 1:02:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:15Speaker 05

  I've never been in a Bateman project. Should we just get to that right now? Aren't you directing something?

• 1:02:19Will Arnett?

  Sean, Sean, you and I have never been in a Jason Bateman joint.

• 1:02:22Speaker 05

  Wait, you guys haven't either?

• 1:02:23Will Arnett?

  No.

• 1:02:24Jason Bateman?

  Wait, what?

• 1:02:24Speaker 05

  He's directed like a bunch of things.

• 1:02:26Will Arnett?

  Oh, are you going through a canyon? You can't hear us right now? Are you?

• 1:02:28Jason Bateman?

  Guys, can you hear me? I hear you. Can you hear me?

• 1:02:34Jason Bateman?

  Guys, I'm gonna call you back. I'll call you back.

• 1:02:39Speaker 05

  David, when you send me a call sheet, I'll show up. You know what I mean?

• 1:02:44Jason Bateman?

  I'm gonna do, I'm gonna put all three of you in one scene and then cut it, and then I'm gonna cut it.

• 1:02:49Will Arnett?

  What do you mean, cut it? You won't be able to cut this. It'll be so vital. Speaking of vital, you're vital to showbiz, Tim Olyphant. You are just an absolute gem. And it's been awesome having you. Dude, continued success. I stay, keep staying busy because it's so great watching you, dude.

• 1:03:06Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and give Karen and Christine their office back.

• 1:03:09Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 05

  Back at you, guys. It was a pleasure. Thank you. I appreciate you having me.

• 1:03:13Will Arnett?

  Pleasure. We look forward to it. Five Star Weekend, Lucky, all this stuff. Congrats. What a joy. What a joy. The great Tim Olyphant. Thank you. You're gonna get a round of applause.

• 1:03:26Jason Bateman?

  I think that's the first, that's the first goodbye applause we've done.

• 1:03:29Will Arnett?

  I think so, too.

• 1:03:30Jason Bateman?

  Warranted.

• 1:03:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  Gentlemen, it's a pleasure.

• 1:03:32Sean Hayes?

  Likewise, Tim.

• 1:03:33Jason Bateman?

  Thanks, Tim.

• 1:03:34Will Arnett?

  Thanks, dude.

• 1:03:34Jason Bateman?

  Bye, buddy.

• 1:03:37Jason Bateman?

  Uh, so yeah, what about that Tim Olyphant, huh? He's a good dude. He's a real good dude. He's easy on the eyes. He's got talent.

• 1:03:46Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:03:47Jason Bateman?

  What's not to love? That's why he works so much.

• 1:03:49Sean Hayes?

  And he does have a reputation that is, he's one of the nicest guys. That's his reputation.

• 1:03:53Will Arnett?

  Everybody loves him. I remember Margot saying how much she loved him back in the day.

• 1:03:57Jason Bateman?

  Do they say that about any of us?

• 1:03:59Will Arnett?

  About us, about John and me, yeah.

• 1:04:00Sean Hayes?

  I don't think so.

• 1:04:02Will Arnett?

  Yeah, they say about John and me all the time.

• 1:04:04Jason Bateman?

  You ever heard anything bad about me?

• 1:04:06Will Arnett?

  Let me just say, I would not look it up.

• 1:04:10Will Arnett?

  Where are you? If you want to have a continued good rest of your day, I would not investigate.

• 1:04:15Jason Bateman?

  Don't dig. No need to dig.

• 1:04:18Will Arnett?

  Everybody loves Jakey Bates.

• 1:04:22Jason Bateman?

  Well, you can find some naysayers all bad about any of us. Uh, but boy, that Tim Oliphant. Nope, you'd get, you'd get tens across the board there.

• 1:04:30Will Arnett?

  Dude, we forgot to plug, we, we forgot to plug, um, Hollywood Bowl.

• 1:04:34Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 1:04:35Sean Hayes?

  Oh.

• 1:04:36Jason Bateman?

  Oh, go ahead. Maybe just roll the tape on that.

• 1:04:38Will Arnett?

  October 17th.

• 1:04:40Jason Bateman?

  What?

• 1:04:40Sean Hayes?

  What do you do?

• 1:04:41Will Arnett?

  Hollywood Bowl. You go to smartless.com/live and you get tickets. Sorry.

• 1:04:46Will Arnett?

  You go to smartless.com/live and you get tickets.

• 1:04:50Jason Bateman?

  Who's this?

• 1:04:50Will Arnett?

  For the Hollywood Bowl, October 17th.

• 1:04:54Jason Bateman?

  We're gonna have some surprise guests there?

• 1:04:56Will Arnett?

  We're gonna have some surprise guests.

• 1:04:58Jason Bateman?

  One or two? Two or one? Just a couple? Okay.

• 1:05:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah. You go to smartless.com/live and you can get tickets for you or for a friend, Sean. You can, they're not free, you do.

• 1:05:07Sean Hayes?

  What do you do if you get them for a friend? You have to...

• 1:05:10Will Arnett?

  You have to...

• 1:05:11Sean Hayes?

  Bye!

• 1:05:17Will Arnett?

  Smartless.com/live.

• 1:05:19Sean Hayes?

  Jason never chimes in.

• 1:05:21Will Arnett?

  Smartless.com/live. Smartless.com/live. Smart...

• 1:05:24Jason Bateman?

  Will Audio.

• 1:05:30Will Arnett?

  Five dollar football, five dollar... Smartless.

• 1:05:44Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbaco.

• 1:05:56Will Arnett?

  Smartless.