"Macaulay Culkin"

Join us for a hero’s journey with the great Macaulay Culkin. Find your light, hit your marks, systematically sabotage the Wet Bandits. It’s Magic v. Sexy v. Naughty… on an all-new SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Jason Bateman?

  Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices. And you earn rewards every time you book. So your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple, and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 1:29Sean Hayes?

  The place you call home is important to you. So it's important to Allstate. Because home is where you make all your memories. Things like inviting your friends over for game night and discovering that one of them takes charades way, way too seriously. It's these memories that make a house feel like home. If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate, and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings vary, subject to terms and qualifications. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 2:06Sean Hayes?

  Ready for a college degree, but your dog is giving you the side eye while silently judging your life choices? You need to check out Southern New Hampshire University. Their online programs make it possible to earn your degree without sacrificing sleep, sanity, or Scooby snacks. And there's real support from actual humans if you want that. So you can focus on what matters most: your dog. No, your future. Get the degree your dog approves of. Apply today at SNHU.edu/smartless.

• 2:45Jason Bateman?

  Are you good at watching the holiday movies, the cartoons?

• 2:48Sean Hayes?

  I do, because it's nostalgic. It makes me feel like where I put my onesie on, you know, with the feet, with the whole, the pajamas.

• 2:55Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Do you have a little, do you have the little, the button sort of window that drops in the back for poops?

• 3:04Sean Hayes?

  Don't be around the bush. What are you trying to say?

• 3:06Jason Bateman?

  Do you have a back flap?

• 3:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but that's not my jeans. You're talking about my pajamas.

• 3:11Jason Bateman?

  Have you watched any of the holiday videos or movies?

• 3:15Sean Hayes?

  Not yet, but I'm going to. It's gonna be so exciting. Do you want to come over and watch them?

• 3:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you came over last time. I guess we gotta come over to your place this time.

• 3:22Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, tit for tat.

• 3:23Jason Bateman?

  Tit for tat. Splitty splat. Welcome to a new episode.

• 3:27Sean Hayes?

  Smartless.

• 3:48Sean Hayes?

  Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

• 3:50Jason Bateman?

  Jesus Christ, Sean.

• 3:51Will Arnett?

  Fucking hell, Sean.

• 3:52Jason Bateman?

  This is fucking bullshit.

• 3:54Sean Hayes?

  It wasn't on the, it wasn't on my calendar.

• 3:56Will Arnett?

  Well, that's our fault.

• 3:57Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, don't say it like it's our fault. Who's in control of your calendar? Is it Nick the prick?

• 4:03Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 4:04Jason Bateman?

  Did you get a deal on Nick?

• 4:05Will Arnett?

  By the way, Sean, he says fucking Nick. He didn't even know who Nick was.

• 4:08Jason Bateman?

  I mean, Nick for years has just been...

• 4:11Will Arnett?

  We literally said, did we call Nick? And he goes, who, what's, what's a Nick?

• 4:15Jason Bateman?

  What's a Nick?

• 4:16Will Arnett?

  No, he said, what's a Nick?

• 4:17Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 4:17Sean Hayes?

  What's a Nick?

• 4:18Jason Bateman?

  He's clearly a, like a discount assistant.

• 4:21Will Arnett?

  We were about to call Cedars, because we thought, have you checked the paddle waiting room?

• 4:26Sean Hayes?

  That is the worst feeling in the world. This guy's like, I'm like, what? What are you talking about?

• 4:31Jason Bateman?

  Okay, well, let's take a couple of, oh, sorry, Will, do you want to finish chewing that?

• 4:34Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:35Jason Bateman?

  Okay. Um, fucking Will Arnett, this guy.

• 4:38Sean Hayes?

  Wait, how are you guys?

• 4:40Jason Bateman?

  No, no, no, not yet.

• 4:41Sean Hayes?

  You already did that, you already did that?

• 4:42Jason Bateman?

  Let's take a guess of what we interrupted in Sean's life.

• 4:45Will Arnett?

  What was going on? What were you doing? Spaghetti?

• 4:48Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 4:48Will Arnett?

  Sorry. Well, no, it's first thing in the morning, so that's seemed like the most likely.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  He was turning the Pop-Tart over in the oven.

• 4:54Sean Hayes?

  I'm going to tell you right now, the honesty got, the honesty got truth.

• 4:58Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Sean Hayes?

  Passed out, sleeping.

• 5:00Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 5:01Jason Bateman?

  Because you got up too early.

• 5:02Will Arnett?

  Churning butter, our surprise guest is guessing.

• 5:05Jason Bateman?

  Our surprise guest is real lippy.

• 5:07Will Arnett?

  By the way, since you've been away, Sean, our surprise guest has been very active in the chat, which has been fun.

• 5:12Sean Hayes?

  All right, good.

• 5:13Jason Bateman?

  I'm a big Olivia Munn fan and a fun lady.

• 5:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 5:16Jason Bateman?

  Uh, okay, do you want to guess?

• 5:19Will Arnett?

  Uh, no, but let's get back to Shaunie. So what happened? So how was your sleep? What was your sleep?

• 5:24Sean Hayes?

  I got up at three, and then I wrote, and then I was, and then I had this script that I had to write notes on, so I spent like three or four hours rereading it, and rereading it, rereading it, and writing notes on it and stuff like that. And then I was like, oh, God, I gotta go back to sleep. And then I, this guy's like, hey, you have a smarlet. I'm like, what? And I jumped out of bed. You should smell my breath.

• 5:41Will Arnett?

  Oh, I'm good.

• 5:42Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 5:44Will Arnett?

  Hey, so what's gonna, now, what's the process when we're done here? Nick gets, what, a phone call? Or you want an in-person?

• 5:50Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, no, I'm, no, I'm definitely gonna ask what happened. No, I, um, yeah, that's it, that's it. And my niece is here with her four friends, so there's five, there's five girls staying in the house. Oh, my God, it's, they're, you know, so we were up late, and it was her birthday.

• 6:06Will Arnett?

  Let's bring them in and have them smell your breath. Can we do that?

• 6:09Jason Bateman?

  So, wait, this is the daughter of who?

• 6:11Sean Hayes?

  This is my brother Dennis's daughter, Elise, and I remember her name because it rhymes with niece.

• 6:16Jason Bateman?

  Oh, is that a big deal that you remember the name of your niece?

• 6:19Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 6:20Will Arnett?

  Hey, Jason, this is not a road you want to go down.

• 6:22Jason Bateman?

  Right, sorry. Um, hey, so how old is Elise?

• 6:29Sean Hayes?

  She's just turned 24.

• 6:31Will Arnett?

  Take the sharpness out of your voice.

• 6:34Sean Hayes?

  I know. He's so mad at me, but he won't show it.

• 6:36Jason Bateman?

  She's having a five-person sleepover at Uncle Shawn's house?

• 6:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah. It's fun.

• 6:41Jason Bateman?

  So stupid. Did they get, did they climb into a bottle of something last night?

• 6:45Sean Hayes?

  Yes, they did, yeah.

• 6:46Jason Bateman?

  These girls. These girls.

• 6:48Sean Hayes?

  They're really funny though, but you know, they're like in the middle of dinner last night, like they'll say the most random things.

• 6:56Jason Bateman?

  Are they crazy?

• 6:57Sean Hayes?

  They're, you guys, they're crazy. I'm gonna tell you something. She's right in the middle of, we were talking about politics or drinking or something, and, and her friend, Taylor goes, um...

• 7:05Jason Bateman?

  Oh, Taylor, that's...

• 7:07Will Arnett?

  Don't, don't get me started on Taylor at a dinner, at a dinner? Taylor at a dinner with politics? She must have...

• 7:16Sean Hayes?

  She goes, in the middle of the thing, she goes, "Oh my God, you guys, did you hear Jesse Eisenberg's gonna give away one of his kidneys to a stranger?"

• 7:23Will Arnett?

  I mean, that's unbelievable. And then, by the way, that's the best part, that's the whole story.

• 7:28Jason Bateman?

  And then Elise comes over the top with...

• 7:30Sean Hayes?

  And then she goes, "Oh my God, you guys, he's so nice." By the way, I didn't know Jesse Eisenberg was giving away a kidney to a stranger.

• 7:35Will Arnett?

  Hang on a second, let's get back to Taylor's comment. I mean, and, and that's, that's it. I mean,

• 7:40Jason Bateman?

  was she wearing that cute thing that, um...

• 7:43Will Arnett?

  What was that?

• 7:44Jason Bateman?

  Hey, so wait, so Jesse, I don't, I don't believe for one second that Jesse Eisenberg is giving away a kidney to a stranger.

• 7:51Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's what's in there.

• 7:51Jason Bateman?

  That's not just some sort of, um...

• 7:53Sean Hayes?

  I didn't, it was in the news.

• 7:55Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 7:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was in the news. And they have, and, and they go, "I didn't know, you guys, oh my God, Ed Sheeran doesn't use a phone." And then Elise goes, "Oh, he's so mysterious."

• 8:04Jason Bateman?

  And then I'm like...

• 8:05Sean Hayes?

  And I'm like, they all really talk like that. And like, what, this is really happening?

• 8:10Jason Bateman?

  Where are they from?

• 8:11Sean Hayes?

  Chicago, Glen Ellen.

• 8:12Jason Bateman?

  So they all flew in?

• 8:14Sean Hayes?

  Well, they all, no, now they, one lives in New York, uh, and they, but they all live in the Chicagoland area, and they all decided to fly in for her birthday. It was nice. It's fun.

• 8:22Will Arnett?

  It's nice of you to host them.

• 8:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I both, that's so crazy.

• 8:25Will Arnett?

  But Jason, this is what people do for a family, and this is what people do. It's selfless. Her uncle is, is rich and famous and lives in Hollywood, and so they're gonna go out there and stay in his mansion. That makes sense. What part of that do you not get?

• 8:38Jason Bateman?

  For how long are these strangers gonna be in your house?

• 8:43Will Arnett?

  It's his niece!

• 8:46Sean Hayes?

  They are gonna be here for two, two or three more days.

• 8:49Jason Bateman?

  How long have they been there already?

• 8:51Sean Hayes?

  They're a total of five days.

• 8:52Will Arnett?

  Fuck me.

• 8:53Sean Hayes?

  That is a long stay.

• 8:54Jason Bateman?

  Do you know the other girls' names?

• 8:55Sean Hayes?

  Yes. Taylor, Ainsley, Lily, um, what's, oh, shoot. And the new one.

• 9:04Jason Bateman?

  No, wait, this is fun.

• 9:05Will Arnett?

  Julie.

• 9:06Sean Hayes?

  And Alondra.

• 9:07Jason Bateman?

  Alondra.

• 9:09Will Arnett?

  Alondra. Catherine and Julie are surprise guests just threw in.

• 9:13Sean Hayes?

  I was close. What did she, what did the guest say?

• 9:17Will Arnett?

  Catherine and Julie, I was close. I was close.

• 9:21Sean Hayes?

  Oh, my God. All right. Let's get, who is this person?

• 9:23Will Arnett?

  This is the, this is the most fun guest. Sean, I'm really excited that we're catching you in this. This is the rawest we've ever seen you.

• 9:29Sean Hayes?

  I'm nervous. You can tell I'm nervous because I, yeah.

• 9:31Will Arnett?

  No, I know. You are nervous because you, you just feel you're out of sorts. You haven't, you're just waking up. You're raw and I haven't seen you this raw since fill in the blank. So.

• 9:44Will Arnett?

  No, that was the name of the, that was the name of the bar. They had to close it down for health reasons, but fill in the blank.

• 9:52Will Arnett?

  By the way, gross title.

• 9:54Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Are you guys gonna be the fill in the blank later?

• 9:59Will Arnett?

  Our, our guest.

• 10:00Sean Hayes?

  Dollar drinks are fill in the blank.

• 10:02Will Arnett?

  Our guest has been active in the film business for many years, dare I say, most of his life. And not just adult life, most of his life life. So Jason, this is gonna be somebody that you can identify with.

• 10:17Sean Hayes?

  This is Kurt Russell.

• 10:17Will Arnett?

  But this is somebody who's been doing it for so long and who reached such incredible heights of fame as a young person and has continued to work throughout. It's been incredible. Started in films like Rocket Gibraltar, Born on the Fourth of July. Then movies started to have more success and bigger roles in movies like Uncle Buck, Jacob's Ladder. And then absolutely went through the stratosphere with Home Alone, Home Alone Two, Richie Rich. And then it's, it's Macaulay Culkin.

• 10:49Sean Hayes?

  Macaulay was out.

• 10:50Jason Bateman?

  Welcome to the show.

• 10:52Sean Hayes?

  You were on my list as well. Oh my God, this is so cool.

• 10:55Jason Bateman?

  He's appropriately dressed in smartless PJs.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Oh, yes, yes, of course, yes.

• 10:59Sean Hayes?

  Macaulay, I'm so sorry I was late. So many apologies. I'm never.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  No, it's too late for that.

• 11:04Will Arnett?

  He just, no, I mean, just Taylor, when Taylor gets going and then just forget it.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, just let her off the leash, I swear.

• 11:11Will Arnett?

  Can't even, I don't know if you heard about Ed Sheeran, but he's so mysterious.

• 11:15Jason Bateman?

  Macaulay.

• 11:16Will Arnett?

  Macaulay Culkin.

• 11:17Jason Bateman?

  Macaulay, where are we finding you today?

• 11:21Speaker 03

  I'm in, I'm in Los Angeles, yeah.

• 11:22Jason Bateman?

  Yeah?

• 11:23Will Arnett?

  Oh.

• 11:23Jason Bateman?

  What part?

• 11:24Speaker 03

  I live in Toluca Lake.

• 11:26Jason Bateman?

  Oh, Lake, I've done a lot of time there.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like how you like, it sounds like a prison, you know, yeah.

• 11:32Will Arnett?

  No.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  I've done time there.

• 11:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I love it there. They got, they got one of the greatest golf clubs in all of America there at Lakeside.

• 11:40Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Do you golf, Macaulay?

• 11:42Speaker 03

  No, no, but I'm investing in a golf cart, you know, we'll put it that way.

• 11:46Jason Bateman?

  So you can tool around the neighborhood?

• 11:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, pretty much.

• 11:48Sean Hayes?

  For real?

• 11:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, because you got a Jones, you know, everyone has a golf cart, so you know, you got a Jones, you know.

• 11:54Will Arnett?

  By the way, you know what's interesting, Sean, I was gonna say, Macaulay, what's interesting is that you're an Angeleno now, perhaps, you live in Los Angeles, but you're a New Yorker, and yet you played a character who's so closely identified with Chicago.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:07Will Arnett?

  So you've, you've kind of really covered the whole country. You're, you're Ameri, you belong to America.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's well put, yes. But I love how a New Yorker is like a Chicago, like, you know, they love me there, I swear to God, I do gangbusters over there.

• 12:21Jason Bateman?

  Do you?

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:22Jason Bateman?

  In Chicago, in Chicago?

• 12:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah, Sean, hang on, Sean, Sean, hang on, this is in Chicago.

• 12:28Jason Bateman?

  Sean's also done some time there.

• 12:30Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 12:32Will Arnett?

  Every time we mention, yeah, go ahead.

• 12:33Jason Bateman?

  Do you want to just get it over with and then we can move on to other things?

• 12:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 12:36Jason Bateman?

  So when I was a kid and I was in high school, John Hughes was making all of his movies in, in, as you know, in and around Chicago.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  I remember, yes, yes.

• 12:45Sean Hayes?

  And so, so it was wild to, I've said this before, it was wild to grow up in the town where he was making the movies and then when I'm in high school, those movies came out about high school. So it was all, it was all encompassed, John Hughes, all the time, all around Chicago.

• 13:01Will Arnett?

  Who, Sean, who did you identify with? Is it Ducky?

• 13:05Sean Hayes?

  By the way, I got called Ducky all the time, all the time. I did, because I dressed like him and everything, yeah.

• 13:12Jason Bateman?

  Did you ever see them shooting around, around the neighborhood, Sean?

• 13:15Sean Hayes?

  No, but, uh, no, but Lucas, you know, was filmed in my high school. And if you remember that movie, Lucas, anybody? Uh, yes, yes.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  Sheen and, yeah, yeah.

• 13:24Sean Hayes?

  Charlie Sheen, yeah, Corey Haim, yeah, we're known writers for a film.

• 13:27Will Arnett?

  That was a great, that was a great little movie, actually, Lucas. I liked that film.

• 13:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I was in, I was an extra. I was like 14 years old. Anyway, who cares?

• 13:33Jason Bateman?

  Did you sit in background holding?

• 13:35Sean Hayes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:36Jason Bateman?

  On a, you know, on a, on a fold out?

• 13:38Will Arnett?

  Were you, were you late to that?

• 13:39Speaker 03

  And that little boy.

• 13:40Will Arnett?

  Did you see through that?

• 13:42Speaker 03

  That nobody wanted.

• 13:45Will Arnett?

  Macaulay Culkin, by the way, are you excited? Jason, what I thought you were gonna say is, are you excited for the release? Cause we're gonna talk about later of Zootopia 2.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Yes, very much so, yes. Me and Brenda are taking a bite of the forbidden fruit. Uh, we're playing brother and sister. Meow, yeah.

• 14:00Jason Bateman?

  Oh, boy.

• 14:01Will Arnett?

  Wait, who is?

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Uh, me and my lady, yeah. Uh, yeah, so, yeah, yeah, that's, uh, gonna, I'm gonna be at the premiere.

• 14:08Jason Bateman?

  Now, which, what, what, what, what animal is your character?

• 14:11Speaker 03

  Uh, we're, we're, we are playing cats. That meow is literal, yeah.

• 14:15Jason Bateman?

  Little.

• 14:15Will Arnett?

  Jason, what are you? Jason, you're a fox, right?

• 14:18Sean Hayes?

  Thanks, man.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Uh, you, you had that one in the chamber.

• 14:22Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Macaulay's, you're in Zootopia and Jason, you didn't know which character he, he was? To be honest, had no idea Macaulay was in it.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. No, are you, are you kidding me? This is animation, like, nobody meets anybody.

• 14:35Sean Hayes?

  They don't let anybody know anything. Willie, tell them, tell them I'm wrong. I, I honestly don't even know what the film is about. I didn't know what the first film was about. I didn't know till I saw it.

• 14:45Will Arnett?

  I have had those moments, this is so embarrassing, but like Jason, where somebody goes, hey, you run into somebody, they go, hey, we're doing the thing. And you go, no way. By the way, this is when it's done. This is not going into it.

• 14:59Jason Bateman?

  It's typical of animation. It's done.

• 15:01Will Arnett?

  Yeah, cause you.

• 15:02Jason Bateman?

  You just go in there and you kinda, yeah. You like record your scenes, you know, à la carte over the period of a couple of years and yeah.

• 15:09Will Arnett?

  Had you done a bunch of animated stuff, McCauley, before?

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Back in the early 90s, like everyone else, they, I had a Saturday morning cartoon. You know, remember like they gave one to, I remember they gave one to Roseanne Barr, John Candy had Camp Candy. They had a, it was Bobby's World, Howie Mandel, like, you know, like Louis, Louis Anderson had his own Saturday morning cartoon.

• 15:30Jason Bateman?

  That's right.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  Give it away like, like, like candy, you know, yeah, yeah.

• 15:33Jason Bateman?

  Saturday morning cartoons, you guys, was everything for me when I was growing up.

• 15:37Will Arnett?

  Me too, me too, man.

• 15:39Jason Bateman?

  I loved it.

• 15:39Will Arnett?

  It was so, we're a little bit older than you, McCauley, but you probably also remember that feeling of the Saturday morning cartoon.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Oh, heck, yeah. No, look forward to it. I'm, I'm raising my kids with like, like Saturday morning cartoons. Like, it's like, yeah, it's, it's just on YouTube now, but like, yeah, it's, it's a thing.

• 15:53Will Arnett?

  Exactly, just on YouTube. And what was great about it back then was that we only, you only got it on Saturdays. So you couldn't, it just wasn't available 24/7, so it felt really special.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  It was appointment television. Yeah.

• 16:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:06Will Arnett?

  Wait, all right. So McCauley, we're gonna roll it all the way back, like we like to do. We, we're gonna, we're gonna get right to the beginning, cause you, you did start, like I said, when you were, as everybody, a lot of people know, that you started very young acting, and Jay, not unlike our friend Jason Bateman. What was the, what was the age, what was the age at which you were, you decided, or you got, you and your family decided like, I'm gonna do this? Was this predetermined, or were you?

• 16:34Sean Hayes?

  Did you seek it?

• 16:35Will Arnett?

  What was, what was the thing that started, that said, hey, I'm gonna, we should do this?

• 16:39Speaker 03

  Uh, it was actually, it was my father, he had a, he was gonna take my older brother and sister, and he was gonna take like headshots of them in the park, and it was, and then my mom was kinda just like, oh, just take Mac with you. Like, you know, I think she just wanted a break. And, yeah, I just started booking right away. I started out earning everyone else pretty fast.

• 16:58Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 16:59Sean Hayes?

  Through commercials and stuff, you mean?

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Uh, you know, it was more, I did like Black Box Theater in Manhattan, and I got written up for that. And then, um, honestly, I just, I jumped pretty much straight to film. Uh, I did a couple of commercials here and there, but that, but like literally out of the gate, it was Black Box Theater and then, then cinema.

• 17:15Will Arnett?

  So am I right that Rocket Gibraltar was your first film?

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that was actually, um, Burt Lancaster's one of his last movies. And they hired a bunch of New York stage actors and I was a, you know, stage actor. And it was like, um, uh, who's like Bill Pullman, Patricia Clarkson, uh, uh, Spacey was, was in it and stuff like that.

• 17:33Sean Hayes?

  Uh oh, yeah.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 17:37Sean Hayes?

  Saying, uh oh.

• 17:38Will Arnett?

  What was your, what was your, what was that life you first experienced on a film set? How old were you? Do you remember?

• 17:44Speaker 03

  I was six.

• 17:45Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, honestly, it was, I just knew whatever, just memorize your lines, don't look in the camera, you know? Uh, find your light, hit your marks, things like that. I was, I was, it was, it was pretty straightforward for me.

• 17:55Sean Hayes?

  Still trying to nail that down.

• 17:58Sean Hayes?

  No, but that's what blows my mind when young kids like yourself and how do they know to do that? Like, there's so many kids that can't do that.

• 18:07Will Arnett?

  What, did your parents give you that?

• 18:09Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  Uh, I mean, yeah, pretty much, you know, like, uh, uh, you know, you're, when you're a kid, you're a fast learner.

• 18:15Sean Hayes?

  And wasn't the draw, was the draw the same for you as it was for me was just like, basically, I get to skip school? That, that's all I was looking at.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  You know, uh, as it went on, uh, for me, as it went on, it was actually the opposite. Uh, cause I was always away and I didn't like, and you have to remember a lot of my work, uh, when I was, uh, you know, pretty much when I was younger, I never worked with people my own age. I was always working with adults and stuff like that. So like, yeah, so if anything, I kind of had a yearning to like go to school, to like, you know, have contemporaries and things like that.

• 18:43Sean Hayes?

  And did you ever?

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, uh, once I quit, I quit when I was, uh, 14, uh, quit for like nearly a decade. And, uh, yeah, no, just, uh, just went to, went to school, went to high school, you know? Fell in love, got, you know, got.

• 18:56Sean Hayes?

  What was that like?

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Got drunk for the first time, things like that.

• 18:58Will Arnett?

  What, what was that like? I mean, cause you had, as I pointed out, we all know you had incredible success. Uh, first of all, Uncle Buck is just an absolute gem of a film. It holds up. I, I watch it like once a year. It kills me.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  You have great taste.

• 19:13Will Arnett?

  And I know you, you were part of that John Candy documentary too about, right?

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was lovely. Yeah, no, um, it really was a good tribute to him. It really did him justice. Uh, it was, they were actually had, they were trying to track me down for a while. Uh, and I just kind of kept on just going, yeah, I'll get around to it and just never did. And then, um, finally, uh, yeah, finally they tracked me down and on the, um, on the carpet when they did the premiere. Uh, I talked to Colin Hanks. He was the one who directed it. And I said, who was harder to track down, me or Bill Murray? He goes, you. He didn't even blink.

• 19:43Will Arnett?

  So what was John Candy like? Because I've always just, that guy to me is just such a giant.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he was, yeah, he was sweet. He was very giving, you know, they always say, don't work with kids or animals, you know, but you know, he, he was actually really good with me. Uh, yes, he was very sweet. I did, I did, uh, three films with him because he was in, uh, he was also in Home Alone and also I had a brief part in, uh, Only the Lonely.

• 20:07Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:08Jason Bateman?

  Now, now, McCullough, when you, when you took your, your 10-year hiatus, um, was there an expectation that your, that your spot would be held for you in line? Or, or were you at that point where you're like, ah, I don't really care if I come back to this industry?

• 20:24Speaker 03

  I was done skis. Like I was full, I was, I was done. Like, yeah, uh, yeah. Uh, I was like, I hope you all made your money because there's no more coming from me. Yeah, I made my name, I made my mark, I made my fortune. Like, so I don't, you know, like, the only reason why I, uh, even like do it now is because I like to do it, you know, it's the, uh, you know, it's a, what is it? Uh, play, uh, pay, pleasure, prestige. That's the only reason to do a gig. Technically, I'm retired right now. Like, I retire. And then if I find something I like, I unretire, do that, and I immediately retire afterward. Look, I mean, every, every gig is my last.

• 20:54Will Arnett?

  Sean's never, he just, Sean just acts like he's retired. He's not retired, but he just sleeps in, he does whatever he wants.

• 21:03Jason Bateman?

  When you were not, when you were not acting and you were going through high school and then, and then hitting the college years, was there, was there a thought to study a different industry? Was there an interest pull anywhere?

• 21:13Speaker 03

  Um, not necessarily, you know, I was, I was kind of just drifting around, uh, and trying to figure out kind of what I wanted out of life and so forth. And I mean, listen, this was a calling that, uh, uh, found me. I didn't find it. And so I wanted to explore that in a different kind of way, uh, on my terms.

• 21:28Jason Bateman?

  Right. Well, talk about that because I, I went through a very similar thing where it was just like, well, I'm young enough to really start over. And at something that I can sort of drive a little bit more, I can have much more say in my longevity and my relevance, um, and my access in any other career, any other occupation, any other industry.

• 21:49Will Arnett?

  Did you want to do something else, JB?

• 21:50Jason Bateman?

  I, I, I did. I, I desperately wanted to do. Something that I could count on, that I wasn't so nervous about maintaining employment in. And so, you know, I got another job before I ever fully went into, you know, studying something else. But was that a part of your thinking at all, McCauley? Was there? Tell us about that, about just thinking about going forward and providing.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  I mean, I was in a position where I could just put my thumb up my butt and play video games all day long. I could do anything I wanted, really. Yeah.

• 22:26Jason Bateman?

  There was enough employment before you quit at 14 to cover you for the rest of your life?

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Indeed.

• 22:33Jason Bateman?

  Oh, great. Wow. That was not my case.

• 22:38Will Arnett?

  But there was...

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Made that Hogan's Family Bank?

• 22:40Jason Bateman?

  No, it wasn't enough.

• 22:43Will Arnett?

  Nah, you did okay. I mean, you know, we were...

• 22:45Jason Bateman?

  I was spending too much. I was having fun, you know. On what? On just like basically catching up.

• 22:56Jason Bateman?

  And we will be right back.

• 23:00Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 23:43Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smart List is brought to you in part by SkinnyPop popcorn. Sometimes when you're in the snacking mood, it's easy not to have to think. Snacking should be simple, like SkinnyPop popcorn. It's made with quality ingredients and still delivers delicious flavor. Start with original SkinnyPop. It's made with just three simple ingredients, so you don't need a science... ...degree to understand what's in it. Feeling fancy but not too fancy? Give white cheddar a try. The sweet and salty kettle is always a family favorite. And the butter variety, it never fails for nights that involve a couch, a screen, and absolutely nowhere else to be. No matter the pick, Skinny Pop delivers light, airy, and endlessly delicious popcorn you can feel good about. Almost every night at my house is movie night,

• 24:27Sean Hayes?

  and that's when I grab the butter Skinny Pop. It's so delicious. Deliciously popped, perfectly seasoned Skinny Pop. Popular for a reason.

• 24:39Jason Bateman?

  Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like Hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices, and you earn rewards every time you book. So, your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple, and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 25:20Sean Hayes?

  Hey, guys. Are you looking to hire for a new startup or maybe a new business? Well, have I got the thing for you. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. Indeed Sponsored Jobs gets you quality candidates when you need them most. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring now, then this is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs.

• 26:09Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 26:12Will Arnett?

  So, McCallie, but you know, it's funny, you used the expression, you said, you know, "There's no more money to be made off me," or something like that, which I, which I wonder, like, when you did quit and you were 14, was there a sense of like, that, that you had, was there a sense of resentment towards people who had made money off you in a way?

• 26:33Speaker 03

  No, no, I mean, I got the lion's share of it.

• 26:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  No, but it was also, it was kind of a rat race, uh, like, it was, I remember when I stopped having fun, I wanted to kind of, I wanted to take a break, and I said I was getting really taxed, and, uh, and said, "Yeah, I just kind of want to do like a semester of school," you know, that kind of thing, and, um, I was not heard, and that was something that really affected me, it affected my work and stuff like that, and then it was just like, "Oh, I'm on the hamster wheel and I can't get off," and so, once I had some autonomy and some agency in my life, uh, yeah, I graduated with both hands, you know, yeah.

• 27:10Will Arnett?

  But that's a big, that's a big burden for, for a kid of 14. First of all, it's kind of a, a, a big realization for a kid of 14 to be able to actually listen to yourself and go, "Hey, this doesn't feel great," and the people that I'm trusting, I'm trying to, I'm trying to tell people this is how I feel, and they're not necessarily recognizing that, there's got to be, I can imagine, I mean, I can only sort of try to imagine how I would feel if I felt like, there must be a frustration in there, a little bit, um, I'm not, by the way, I'm not trying to push you into a position, I'm just curious.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, I mean, I was definitely frustrated, like, yeah, and it was, yeah, again, it was kind of just like, yeah, once I had the, the chance to get off, it was like, "Cool," and I said, "I'll just figure it all out later," you know, yeah, I'll just, you know, and that's kind of what I did, you know?

• 27:55Jason Bateman?

  And I imagine that the, were you like, like other child actors, myself included, was it the inevitability of your parents being your manager, was that the case in your life as well?

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, yeah, and I, I had a pretty acrimonious relationship with my father, famously so.

• 28:12Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, like, as soon as I was able to kind of push him out, like, yeah, just my quality of life on a, on a day-to-day level definitely went up.

• 28:20Jason Bateman?

  Right, gotcha. Yeah, I had a very complicated relationship with that as well. Certainly, as you get older, in retrospect, it becomes even more complicated as you become a parent and you start to think about the decisions that they make about being an employee in your life and how that adjusts the dynamic of how you look at your parents as, you know, what should be sort of your north star, the person that you follow, when instead they now create a dynamic where you're the boss at an age when you're kind of needing parental

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that's where their bread is buttered, you know, yeah.

• 28:54Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's really complicated, but you know, I think you look to be on the other side of that very healthily. I hope I am too.

• 29:01Will Arnett?

  But JB, you pointed out before this idea, Macaulay, I don't know if you had this, but this has always stuck with me, JB, that, and I think about it from time to time, truly I do, that you, I remember you saying you had to keep your grades up in order to keep working, right? That there's by law.

• 29:18Jason Bateman?

  Every six months, yeah.

• 29:18Will Arnett?

  And so there was a pressure to keep your grades up so that you could work, so that you could pay the bills because you were the breadwinner, right?

• 29:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, every six months, it was a grading period, or you had to maintain a C average, or you'd lose your work permit, and so whatever job you're on, you would be fired immediately. And so all the crew members go out of work, all the network gets upset, the parent, you know, like

• 29:42Will Arnett?

  And you're a kid!

• 29:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, so midterms and finals, when you're doing a test that affects your grade by like 60 or 70%, it's just like earth-shattering pressure.

• 29:53Will Arnett?

  Did you have that, did you experience that, Macaulay?

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Uh, not really. I was a pretty, fairly good student, and I had a pretty, a pretty great onset tutor. And she, yeah, she was very sympathetic to me and just when it came to, like, she could tell when I was tired or burnt out or something like that.

• 30:10Jason Bateman?

  If you're having trouble answering any questions, just whisper it to me.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't like that, it wasn't like that, you know? But, you know, she definitely, she definitely like would lay off me, like she'd

• 30:20Will Arnett?

  Y'all just give me a wink if you don't know this one.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  No, she'd like read me like The Outsiders or something like that, just like, hey, just sit down, I'm gonna read it to you, kind of thing. Yeah, things like that, like, you know, yeah.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was pretty great.

• 30:33Jason Bateman?

  You just rest your head against my shoulder.

• 30:37Will Arnett?

  Where is this?

• 30:39Jason Bateman?

  Jay Golden Ponyboy, get over here.

• 30:42Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 30:43Will Arnett?

  That is hysterical. Well, I mean, by the way, so then what we're not, what we're also not addressing is the fact, so you decide at 14, you're like, look, I need a break. I kind of want to shift gears here. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Huge shift, and compounded by the fact that you're about as famous a person there is on the planet at this point.

• 31:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 31:02Will Arnett?

  So there's-

• 31:03Jason Bateman?

  Still to this day.

• 31:04Will Arnett?

  Until this day, of course, but I'm saying that at 14.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, it was a difficult, tricky waters to maneuver through and stuff like that because you don't necessarily have the actual or emotional vocabulary to really kind of, you know, maneuver through those waters. And I always kind of thought of myself as a peerless person. Like, I couldn't turn left and right, like, you know, like, and go, oh, you're like me. Like, you know, it was a very unique experience.

• 31:28Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Um, and so, yeah, you know, so, uh, yeah, it was, you know, I, I kind of had to, like, you know, just figure it out on my own for, for, for a big chunk of it.

• 31:36Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, like, how, how have you adjusted, if at all, how you are in public going to anywhere? Like, do you feel like you have to kind of compromise yourself and go, God, here we go?

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Uh, I, I definitely have to gird myself, you know, uh, uh, for, you know, outings and so forth. You know, I, you know, I just set certain ground rules for myself. Uh, like, you know, just, uh, yeah, like, don't approach me when I'm at the dinner table. I don't like that, you know? Uh, don't approach me when I'm with my kids. Definitely don't follow me to the bathroom, you know, like, things like that, you know? Yeah. Uh, and I, I just realized that I'm in charge of the social contract. I'm, I'm in charge of the interaction.

• 32:14Jason Bateman?

  Sean, what are you scratching off? On what list? What are you doing?

• 32:17Will Arnett?

  What are you talking about?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Oh. Yeah, I'm looking at Will.

• 32:20Will Arnett?

  No bathroom. Sean drops a lot of notes that say, please follow me to the bathroom.

• 32:26Will Arnett?

  So-

• 32:27Sean Hayes?

  With an arrow.

• 32:28Will Arnett?

  So then, so then there you are. So then there you are, and now you take a decade off or whatever it was, a huge chunk of time. What's the moment where you go? I want to go back or.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  Uh, you know, you kind of get to like the end of high school and you're kind of just like, oh, what am I going to do with my life? You know, again, I could kind of do whatever I wanted. And, you know, there was that kind of thought where, uh, like I said, that this was something that found me. I didn't find it. Let me see, let me, let me try this on for size a little bit. So, uh, when I was about twenty or so, uh, twenty twenty one, I, uh, uh, went to London, did a, did a play there for a year, brought it back to the States. That was fun. It was a, uh, successful. And then, you know, jumped in, did Party Monster, then I did Saved.

• 33:09Will Arnett?

  What play was it?

• 33:10Speaker 03

  Uh, it was called Madame Melville.

• 33:12Will Arnett?

  Oh, nice.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:13Will Arnett?

  Was it at the Barbican?

• 33:14Speaker 03

  The Vaudeville Theatre on the Strand.

• 33:17Will Arnett?

  Sorry, Jason had a question.

• 33:18Jason Bateman?

  Nothing. Um, was there, was there ever a thought, was there a thought to go to college at all to, to, to study different career?

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Not necessarily, no. Like I said, I mean, uh, unless I had like a focus on something, I didn't really see the point of it. Like, just go get a degree in general. Like, you know, yeah, it's like, if I wanted to be like, you know, wanted to study like English literature or something like that. Yeah, that would make sense. You know what I mean? But I didn't have, I didn't have that necessarily, that kind of bone in my body. Uh, so yeah, I, I kind of just, although I, I did kind, I semi regret it, uh, because I remember visiting friends at college and go, oh, it looks like fun. You know, yeah.

• 33:51Jason Bateman?

  Right, right, right.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  But again, it would have been, it would have been purely social, really. You know, it's like, yeah, I'm paying all that money to be social with people.

• 33:56Jason Bateman?

  Was social life enough, um, outside of college to, to pacify that curiosity?

• 34:02Speaker 03

  No, definitely. You know, yeah. Uh, um, I, I've had a good groups of friends and so forth and, you know, yeah, so.

• 34:08Will Arnett?

  Oh, I thought you were, I thought, I thought Jason, you were saying, did you party?

• 34:12Jason Bateman?

  Well, basically, well, I mean, I'm looking at, I'm looking at my daughter, um, at college right now and just like, it just, this looks like so much damn fun. I mean, I definitely had fun without college, but my God, the, the whole sort of, and then, cause it's like this great counterbalance. So like, once you kind of sober up and you get past your hangover and everything, you do want to kind of balance it with something. I didn't have that opportunity. With college, you can go listen to some incredible professor, give a lecture on something and you can kind of bathe yourself with something that's, uh, it's highbrow, you know? I don't know. It just would have been a good, good, good thing for me.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  You sound so wistful. I know.

• 34:50Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  All I had was Charlie Rose and New York Times to sort of bathe myself.

• 34:55Sean Hayes?

  McCauley, did you ever guest star in a sitcom or anything?

• 34:57Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, it's funny. There was, uh, there was one a long time ago. Jeez, I can't remember the name of it.

• 35:02Sean Hayes?

  Ah.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  It was Will and Grace. Yeah, I did an episode of Will and Grace.

• 35:08Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, how was that? You were fantastic.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Oh, thanks. Yeah, yeah. No, I remember you were talking about how, uh, you talked about Nancy Klumsky. Uh, that was like one of your...

• 35:15Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. You were like, I know Nancy. I know Nancy and Anna, you know, yeah.

• 35:19Sean Hayes?

  Wait, oh, that's right, because of...

• 35:21Speaker 03

  And you were like, you did an impersonation of her. I was like, that was spot on. I haven't seen her in like fifteen years. But that was like, yeah, you pinged me. Pretty good.

• 35:27Sean Hayes?

  That's right, of Anna's mom Nancy. Wait, because you were in, um, uh, My Girl.

• 35:31Speaker 03

  Yes, we were in My Girl together.

• 35:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and Anna and I grew up in Chicago. Yeah, I don't know, it's all, everybody's connected as well.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, it's a small town, really.

• 35:38Sean Hayes?

  You were great. You were great on the show.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  It was, it was fun. Yeah, I mostly worked with, uh, Megan and stuff, but that was, that was fun, you know, yeah. I mean, to be fair, also, I didn't know what I was walking into. I'd never seen an episode in my whole life.

• 35:48Sean Hayes?

  That's fine, me neither.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 35:51Sean Hayes?

  These guys have me there.

• 35:53Will Arnett?

  So, uh, uh, so McCauley, so you take the break, you come back, you do theater, you come back to New York, and then you do Party Monster. And I remember that was kind of like your big return.

• 36:01Sean Hayes?

  It was great.

• 36:02Will Arnett?

  It was like a big Sundance hit, right? It was like a...

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, yeah, it was, you know, it's kind of what I wanted, you know. I was like, oh, yeah, I saw the, like, oh, Sundance looks like, look, looks cool. I want to do some Sundance-y and stuff, you know.

• 36:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  It was based on a true story. The book was really good. It was just like, yeah, like a, you know, uh, it was kind of a left of center kind of material. And kind of, I didn't want to just jump into Studio Fair, really.

• 36:23Will Arnett?

  And, and did you feel, did you feel satisfied once you did that? Not satisfied in, in terms of like, I'm good forever, but did you feel like, okay, I'm, I'm, I'm doing the right thing here. I'm back. I'm kind of doing, I'm kind of driving my own train here a little bit now?

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, definitely. It was, it was nice to try those, uh, those boots on for size. And, uh, and yeah, and kind of look again, having some, you know, autonomy and, like I said, an agency where I was kind of like, oh, this, this is what I want to do. Um, and yeah, no, it was, it was a ton of fun, you know, yeah. It was, um, very different because I was doing all these like really expensive studio kind of gigs. And next thing you know, we're, we're kind of guerrilla filming in Times Square, waiting, waiting for the, uh, the police patrol to go by so that we get to film. And then, you know, got to wait again. And like, you know, Seth Green's dressed like a pork chop. I'm, I'm wearing just nothing but like, you know, just like a feather boa as, as an entire outfit.

• 37:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's great. Great movie. And, and...

• 37:14Jason Bateman?

  It was.

• 37:15Will Arnett?

  It was a great movie.

• 37:16Jason Bateman?

  What's the funny?

• 37:17Speaker 03

  What are you laughing at, Jason?

• 37:19Jason Bateman?

  I'm gonna call it. I was just wearing a feather ball. It's complete outfit. Sean's like, "Yeah, yeah."

• 37:23Speaker 03

  I love that movie.

• 37:25Jason Bateman?

  I do. I love that movie.

• 37:27Will Arnett?

  Sean just woke up. Sean's very raw. He just woke up.

• 37:30Jason Bateman?

  Wait, so Brenda, right? Is her name Brenda?

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, Brenda, yeah.

• 37:35Jason Bateman?

  And so, yeah, is she, forgive me? That's your wife?

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're actually, we're unwed interracial couples. So, yeah.

• 37:42Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  We check all the boxes when it comes to, uh...

• 37:45Jason Bateman?

  Well, but wait, so then you haven't slept together?

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, yeah, well, I mean...

• 37:49Will Arnett?

  No, no, Jason, Jason, I'm sorry.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Only twice, really, you know.

• 37:51Jason Bateman?

  Wait a second.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  I am the maker of men.

• 37:55Will Arnett?

  Oh, look at those kids.

• 37:56Jason Bateman?

  Look at the boys. Two boys? Am I guessing right?

• 37:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm the maker of men.

• 37:59Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wait, let me see it again. Let me see it again. No, you have to tap it again.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  I know.

• 38:02Jason Bateman?

  It's a little dark.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, oop, face ID. Look at those things.

• 38:06Jason Bateman?

  Oh, look at that. That's great.

• 38:08Will Arnett?

  I can't wear a double-breasted jacket. No, they're too boxy on me.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  You ever try rocking a mohawk, too?

• 38:14Will Arnett?

  Yeah, they're too boxy on me.

• 38:16Jason Bateman?

  All right, so where, when, when, when did, when did you meet your, your, your, your baby mama?

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Uh, we did a film together in Thailand. I went all the way to Thailand to meet a Thai girl from Sacramento. And, uh, yeah, um, yeah, and that we kind of met there. We didn't have any scenes together, but we had a lot of free time. Let's put it that way.

• 38:35Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 38:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I think, I think especially she, she was looking at, "Oh, this is gonna be a fling." And I think we both were like fleeing, you know, yeah. And she's like, "I never had a fling before." And, uh, yeah, we got back to the States and, uh, we kept it going. And, you know, yeah.

• 38:48Jason Bateman?

  How long has that been?

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Uh, about eight and a half years now, yeah.

• 38:51Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow. Very cool.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, we'll, we'll get married someday, you know. I mean, it's funny, 'cause she, she wanted me to propose. She wanted to get married. And so, finally, I put a ring on it, and now she's in no hurry to get married. I'm like, "Wait a second."

• 39:05Jason Bateman?

  So, you're engaged, perpetually engaged?

• 39:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's been, she's about four, four years, almost on the dot. We got engaged on Christmas of, uh, 2021, yeah.

• 39:16Jason Bateman?

  All right, now, how do you like being a dad? I mean, it's, it's, uh... Considering the incredibly colorful childhood you had, are you enjoying having that role now?

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. No, I absolutely love it. Yeah. It's a little, it was strange. Because I didn't really have a lot of... I'm kind of reinventing the wheel, let's put it that way. I didn't really have any good role models. You know, my father was a goddamn piece of work.

• 39:46Jason Bateman?

  Right, and it was completely untraditional, non-traditional, right?

• 39:49Speaker 03

  It was scary. It was absolutely scary. And yeah, like I said, like my, you know, like, what a proper family was, really, it was more... You know, it was like watching something like, you know, Growing Pains, or Family Ties, or something like that. You know, again, because I definitely did not have a conventional family.

• 40:11Will Arnett?

  And how many of your siblings, sorry?

• 40:13Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm third of seven kids. My mother did not have a family. She had a litter, a litter of Culkin.

• 40:19Jason Bateman?

  Wow, sure. Wow, seven. So are you, do you guys run a very then-traditional house? Like, is there Sunday dinners and... yeah?

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, we definitely wear matching pajamas. We definitely, you know, yeah. And yeah, no, they have a more structured life than I did. Mine was kind of more freewheeling, kind of, you know, like a...

• 40:38Jason Bateman?

  It makes you want to be a better dad, right?

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Indeed, indeed. You know, again, that's the whole thing. I don't want the sins of my father being passed on to my kids.

• 40:44Jason Bateman?

  Right, right, right.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  So yeah, you know, so yeah.

• 40:47Will Arnett?

  And are you, so are you close to your family, your family of origin? Like, your siblings and...

• 40:54Speaker 03

  A little bit. I mean, yeah, I keep in touch, but they're all East Coast. None of them have ever lived outside of New York City. I've lived all over the place and stuff, so I'm 3,000 miles away. So it's, I don't see them as often, I touch base, things like that, you know? Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving.

• 41:09Will Arnett?

  How many of them are performers? I know that your brother Kieran's an actor, of course.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm very proud of him. Between me and him, we have exactly one Oscar, yeah.

• 41:21Jason Bateman?

  That's good. That's really good.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  And my brother Rory, he works a lot too. He actually works more than me and Karen combined. He is just doing a bunch of indies and stuff. He's always moving.

• 41:31Jason Bateman?

  Is it nice to be able to reach out to a sibling and discuss the oddities of this business? I know I enjoy that sometimes with my sister.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  No, we don't really, honestly, we don't really talk shop. Yeah, we're kind of a, I mean occasionally you kind of touch base on it kind of thing, but it's like, you know, like, you know, just because, you know, just because you're both mailmen doesn't mean you want to talk about the mail, you know, that kind of thing.

• 41:54Jason Bateman?

  Is your wife still acting?

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, no, she's, she's, she's always swimming. She's always moving forward. She's on that show Running Point. She just finished season two last week.

• 42:03Will Arnett?

  Oh, wow.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  And she's, she's got, she's working on two films in January and March and stuff. Like, yeah, she, she, she books. She likes it. She likes the pursuit. I don't really like the pursuit. I like the work itself. She likes the whole package. She loves auditioning. I freaking hate it. Like, things like that, you know, yeah.

• 42:20Jason Bateman?

  Oh, me too. So she's a bit of a masochist then, huh?

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, indeed, you know, but listen, God bless her because she, she knew what she wanted out of life. And she knew what to pursue and she pursues it to her fullest, which is very admirable, you know, admirable. But, yeah, I, you know, for me, I'm kind of just, I'm kind of more of a, like, she's a shark. She has to keep swimming or she drowns. I'm more of a kind of a, I'm kind of more of a feeder fish. I kind of let things sieve through me kind of thing, you know, yeah.

• 42:48Jason Bateman?

  Well, but Macaulay, you sound so, and I don't mean to press you on this, I'm just, I'm purely curious because I, we come from some similar backgrounds, but I'm so in awe of your, your contentment. Like, it seems like you, you know, I'll take it if it comes. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm not particularly obsessed or drawn to any one particular thing. There's no, there's, in other words, are you, do you have anything that, like, I've got to get this done before I die?

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Uh, not necessarily. I mean, at least when it comes to like my work and things like that. Uh, I, it's like, you know, gosh, I mean, you know, I practically just, sometimes I used to do like general meetings, like for a living kind of thing. The worst. You know, they want, they want a silver bullet idea. You know what I mean? They want, oh, like they want, they go, I want to play a doctor, but a kooky one, you know? I want to play a quarterback, you know? Sure. I don't really have that. I let things kind of come to me. Uh, it's the, um, the old, uh, you know, um, was the, the case before the Supreme Court and they were like, uh, they tried to define what pornography was. Right. And pornography, the definition of it, according to the Supreme Court is, I know it when I see it. Uh, so it's, it's literally what, what, what he said, you know? Yeah. So, uh, so I, I, I'll know it when I see it. I treat, I treat, I treat it like pornography, pretty much is what I'm trying to say. Sure.

• 44:02Jason Bateman?

  Right, but, but acting is a thing that, that you're interested in pursuing at this moment.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 44:07Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, uh, yeah. I, uh, yeah, I'm on the new show, uh, Fallout, or, you know, that I'm doing season two of that. And so we're doing that earlier in the year and stuff, but like, yeah, like here's the thing is that you can't get caught in the rat race. You know, you could win an Oscar, right? Right. And you're backstage and you're doing the press conference and you're holding your trophy. You're the top of your game and you know what they ask you? What are you doing next? Right, exactly. As if it's not good enough, you know? And I, I don't buy into that, you know?

• 44:32Jason Bateman?

  Think about all the people that have won Oscars, even been nominated and there's just nothing that comes afterwards. It's like, that is not, that's not the thing. It's so, and that's, that's why I'm asking, it's like, you couldn't, you couldn't ever be more famous than you are now. Um, and so it's clearly not fame or money that you're, is it, are you interested in literally just playing different people? Like the whole literal thing that, that an actor does? Is that interesting to you? Like, are you fascinated by different kinds of people?

• 44:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. No, I, I, I like, I like the adventure of, of crawling into different shoes and things like that. And, um, you know, it's something that's kind of like, just, it comes pretty naturally to me and so forth. I mean, I, I've had a director, he was like, how could, he goes, are you doing that on purpose? I'm like, what? He goes, you walk different when, when I call action. And I was like, no, I, I just, I just do it. Like, you know what I mean? I don't practice it in the mirror and stuff like that. I kind of like just kind of wrapping myself up in some of these things and kind of just not, not thinking, make it reflexive, you know?

• 45:25Jason Bateman?

  I, I looked on your Instagram. I saw that you were in Vegas. Do you like Las Vegas?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  I love the Vegas. I know, I, I did convince Brenda. She was like, oh, I don't like gambling and stuff. I go, no, no, the food's great and, you know, the shows are cool and stuff. And now, now I got her at the tables though. Now, now she, now she's a blackjack player, you know?

• 45:39Jason Bateman?

  It's the best.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Is that your game? Yeah, yeah, play blackjack. You know, sometimes I'll throw a little roulette and so forth, you know, yeah, but I don't, I don't play craps. God doesn't play dice, you know, yeah, neither do I.

• 45:50Will Arnett?

  Sean, Sean, if you, I've been to Vegas with Sean before. If, if you didn't, if you didn't pull him away from the tip, like if Sean happened to be there for a week, he'd lose it all. It's unbelievable.

• 46:00Sean Hayes?

  It's mostly roulette, right?

• 46:01Will Arnett?

  It's un, no, blackjack, it's unreal. I saw him once splitting, splitting aces, blah, blah. And at one point he had, I don't even want to say it was obscene, he just come in, yeah, double down, double down, double, split, double, blah, blah. I'm like, dude, what are you doing?

• 46:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, well, when you had a few, you just kind of make bad decisions.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I don't drink when I gamble, that's the trick.

• 46:21Jason Bateman?

  I don't think you can win unless you're drunk. That, that was my problem.

• 46:25Sean Hayes?

  But, but, but I, I do the roulette a lot and I almost always win because I just almost bet on every number. You know what I mean?

• 46:32Jason Bateman?

  They look for folks like you.

• 46:34Sean Hayes?

  You know?

• 46:38Jason Bateman?

  We'll be right back.

• 46:42Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 47:25Jason Bateman?

  This episode of Smartless is brought to you in part by SkinnyPop popcorn. So, I think one of the great journeys in life is finding the snack that's right for you, you know? And it's, it's constantly changing, but what is constant is the love of popcorn, I think that we all have. So, finding a snack... That tastes great and feels like a solid choice should not be more complicated than solving a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. Skinny Pop popcorn, made with simple quality ingredients, always satisfies. No overthinking required. No jigsaw puzzle assembly required. It's a no-brainer.

• 48:09Jason Bateman?

  There's the classic original Skinny Pop, made with just three simple ingredients, but that's only the beginning. Are you feeling a little sassy? Sweet and salty kettle brings just the right flavor balance. Settling in for a movie night? The butter flavor understands the assignment. And white cheddar is the perfect level of cheesy, if that's what you're looking for. No matter which bag you're opening, enjoy popcorn that's light, airy, and endlessly delicious. No notes. Let me tell you what stands out to me most about Skinny Pop. It's tasty, it's popcorn, and it's ready to be eaten. Deliciously popped, perfectly seasoned. Skinny Pop: Popular for a Reason.

• 48:55Sean Hayes?

  Can we talk about something embarrassing besides the sound of my voice? Imagine you're at lunch. The server brings a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar while the food is still on the way. You think, "Just a sip while I wait for my chili dog." So you take that sip, but suddenly, you can't stop drinking that delicious ice-cold Coke Zero. The food arrives, and you're just sitting there, emotionally unprepared, waiting for a life-saving refill. Real Coca-Cola taste with zero sugar? It's hard to resist. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar: Too Good to Wait. Enjoy the delicious taste of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 49:36Sean Hayes?

  And back to the show.

• 49:39Sean Hayes?

  What about the sphere? Have you been in the sphere yet?

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, we saw Backstreet Boys there. My lady was living her best life. She actually like dressed, like she really dressed the part. She looked like a mom that was a big fan of Backstreet Boys. I mean, she was wearing all white with a bandana. She bedazzled her own shirt for it and stuff. Honestly, it was freaking amazing. Like, you know, yeah, I was, you know, I was never a Backstreet Boys guy, something like that. But man, it was actually really great. We got to meet the boys. They were super sweet. You know, I think she wants to go back before the end of the year. I think they're doing a Christmas residency too.

• 50:11Sean Hayes?

  Guns to your head, Mac. You gotta pick one. One of the boys is your favorite.

• 50:14Will Arnett?

  Oh my god.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Who, uh, oh, who's the fox?

• 50:17Will Arnett?

  Well, what's the scenario where there's a gun to his head?

• 50:21Will Arnett?

  You're gonna choose one now!

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Yes, Kevin, Kevin!

• 50:28Speaker 03

  But he's a fox. Kevin is a fox, yeah.

• 50:30Sean Hayes?

  Yes, he is.

• 50:31Will Arnett?

  He was the fox. Kevin, speaking of Kevin, I'm gonna drag it back to Kevin.

• 50:34Sean Hayes?

  Nice!

• 50:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, do you know, do you know the story that there is a, of a footballer? This is a, this is a long tie-in. A footballer who plays professional soccer in Belgium. I believe he plays for Union. There's a professional footballer called Alexis McAllister. He's a midfielder for Liverpool. I love him. He won the World Cup with Argentina. He's incredible. His family is of Irish descent, but they grew up, it's like his great-grandparents moved to Argentina. His brother Kevin plays professional as well in Belgium, and he found out when he was 18 that he was named after your character.

• 51:11Sean Hayes?

  No way. Is that true? His name's Kevin McAllister?

• 51:14Will Arnett?

  And his name's Kevin McAllister, and his brother plays for Liverpool.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  I should get his jersey and I should sign it and send it back to him, you know?

• 51:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah!

• 51:21Will Arnett?

  Dude, absolutely used to it.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  I gotta look this up. Yeah, yeah, I gotta get that.

• 51:25Will Arnett?

  And I remember watching, because they played Champions League last year randomly Liverpool, and the brothers played each other, and then the commentator goes, "Did you know that he found out when he was 18?"

• 51:34Sean Hayes?

  Was there a time, McCollum, because I've asked this before and it's happened to me, probably all of us, when you're so identified with somebody like I was with Will and Grace and you with Kevin McAllister, where you fought the attention it brought you for so many years and then suddenly... Something click, you're like, you know what? I need to embrace this thing and like it it kind of made me who I am. Was there a moment like that, do you remember?

• 51:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it was it was, yeah, it was definitely burdensome for sure. And, yeah, you know what it's the the trick is just relax, set up your own ground rules, things like that. You know, realizing that I'm in charge of the social interaction, you know, like usually when people meet a celebrity, they go, I'm gonna be cool. And then they meet and they just they turn into just something else, you know, yeah. And so it's like, it's kind of, you know, it's like, oh, I I'm I'm in charge, I can guide this interaction. And also, I know I know all kinds of shortcuts and stuff like that, like, you know, just if you want to end it, you just go, nice to meet you. Or, you know, yeah, or have a great day or something like that, you know, and a lot of times they walk away before they even realize the interaction's over with and like, oh, man, I didn't get that photo like, yeah, you sure didn't, bye.

• 52:37Will Arnett?

  But when you were when you were a, how old were you, you did the first Home Alone?

• 52:41Speaker 03

  I was nine when I did that.

• 52:42Will Arnett?

  Nine, so you're nine, you do that movie and you're still, I guess, living at home in New York, right?

• 52:47Speaker 03

  It's the thirty five year anniversary of it, actually. We're doing the Academy Museum later this month, yeah.

• 52:52Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow, that's cool.

• 52:53Will Arnett?

  That's insane.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:54Will Arnett?

  So you're nine years old, you're you're super famous and you're still living at home with your parents and your siblings and everything, I I imagine in New York. And but but you're the most famous person on the planet, walking down the same street, it must have been, that must have been an adjustment.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was it was a lot. I was in like an old Irish neighborhood and stuff like that, you know, and, you know, I'm the, you know, I'm I'm I'm an actor, I'm a ballet dancer, I'm the all these things. So they're like, hey, what the, you know, what the fuck is this, you know, like that kind of thing, there was a little bit of that, you know, yeah. But there was also, yeah, but, um, uh, yeah, no, it was strange, there there was some whiplash. Uh, I was I was shooting My Girl, uh, in Orlando, uh, when the first Home Alone came out and, you know, like, yeah, I was kind of an actor, did yada, yada, yada, but it wasn't a big deal. And then, um, that movie came out and then, um, I just remember the old neighborhood kids, like just in that little community I was living in, were now peeking through my window. I was like, wait, I know you, you're you're Jimmy Jim Jim over there, you know, yeah, and it's like, no, you be, yeah, all of a sudden, it's like, oh, I'm different, I'm not one of them anymore.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  It was like that, you know, yeah, so, uh, yeah, there was kind of an adjustment period there where, you know, and I'd kind of maneuver those waters as best I could. Really, you know, I really wasn't given a lot of tools. Uh, uh, so it was kind of just, yeah, I kind of just had to embrace it. But for me, it, everything made sense. You know, you are on a hero's journey. You know what I mean? Oh, you do little black box theater, you do smaller movies, you do bigger movies, and then you're a huge fat superstar. Uh, that makes sense. That's the hero's journey. And it's not until you have perspective, go, oh, this is quite abnormal, actually. Like, you know, there's a lot of people who are hacking away at it and they don't, they don't get there. You know, yeah.

• 54:22Jason Bateman?

  Right, right, right. Talk a little bit more about that, sort of that dichotomy of you are embraced and a part of such a huge global community. You're one of all of the, the whole world wants to talk to you. But then you have like that moment with your immediate group, your, your, your friends, you know, on down the block. And there's kind of this thing that eats at you that you're really not one of them. Like, they talk, they talk to you and about you a little bit differently. Like, when you go back to your regular school or whatever, I remember feeling so lonely and disconnected with that. Such that, you know, when I had the time and the money to do it, I, I like, I, I overcompensated for trying to get back into that community and just partied like crazy and tried to like, you know, be one of the guys.

• 55:07Jason Bateman?

  Did you go through any of that yourself?

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, I definitely did plenty of partying and so forth, you know, I mean.

• 55:13Jason Bateman?

  But in pursuit of that, to, to try to get back and just be one of the guys?

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, no, that was, I, I had a yearning, like I said, I wanted to go to school. You know, I, it was mostly for social reasons. I wanted to hang out with people my own age. That was a big thing for me.

• 55:27Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 55:28Speaker 03

  And so I definitely wanted that, uh, but, you know, but it's, you know, it's interesting. It's like, you know, um, you know, how everyone you're told when you're younger, uh, everyone's a delicate snowflake, you know, everyone's different and stuff like that. I truly felt different, you know, I mean, like, yeah, like, and, and rather than looking at it as a burden, it was kind of like, no, I'm a unicorn. You know, like, yeah, I'm a, I'm some kind of mythical creature. I'm, I am different. And I kind, I, I kind of enjoyed that, uh, as well. But at the same time, again, you, you are kind of alone on an island. You know, you are, you know, um, again, a peerless person, you know, someone who's an accountant can turn left and right and there's other accountants in the office, kind of thing. Like, I don't, I don't get to have that.

• 56:05Jason Bateman?

  But, but also like, not only that, and then, and then there also.

• 56:08Will Arnett?

  There is the, you know, the sort of the commerce of it. Did you appreciate your nine, 10, you're making the deal for the next one? I remember like that stuff's like published in the paper about how big it's going to be and all that kind of stuff. Did you, how do you, how do you sort of absorb that kind of information when you're nine, 10, 11 years old?

• 56:26Speaker 03

  I, I knew I was making some bank. I do that, but I didn't, you know, you know, you're nine, 10, you're, I'm not, I'm not reading. I'm not reading Entertainment Weekly, you know, like, I'm watching the new X-Men cartoon, you know, that's what I'm doing, you know, yeah.

• 56:39Will Arnett?

  Right, right, right.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, trying to find some, uh, you know, uh, uh, normality, you know, in my life and stuff like that. So I didn't really keep track of it. I was kind of also, uh, I didn't like, you know, I wasn't told how much I was being paid either.

• 56:51Will Arnett?

  Right, of course.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  I called it the tiny slip of paper kind of meeting. I turned 18 and I go to my business manager's office and, you know, boom, he has my, all my financials. And he just slides it across the table and it's like, okay, this is what you got. And I, I had a sense of how much it was and it was about, you know, it was about right. So, uh, yeah, and also I'm just very fortunate because a lot of people, you know, a lot of kids, they, you know, they work not just in this business, but all around the world. You know, there's, you know, people working in, uh, you know, diamond mines in Africa, you know, there's, there's, you know, this in the slums of Mumbai. They've got nothing to show for it. So I'm, I'm, I wake up very blessed every day knowing that like, yeah, I came out the other end of the spin cycle.

• 57:28Sean Hayes?

  So, so, so like Jason referred to before about, um, you just seem so chill and together and like you figured it out for yourself, which is great.

• 57:34Will Arnett?

  You're in pajamas for Christ's sake.

• 57:36Sean Hayes?

  I know, right?

• 57:37Speaker 03

  Exactly, yeah. I'm, I'm on the clock, you know?

• 57:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. So what, so what's your, what do you worry about? What's the thing that you worry about?

• 57:44Speaker 03

  Um, not, you know, I mean, standard stuff. Want to make sure, you know, I raise my boys right. Um, you know, make sure the lady is like, you know, happy that, you know, that, you know, our, our cups are full, you know, that it's that kind of thing.

• 57:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, and yeah, no, it's, it's, it's center kind of stuff because again, if I never work again, I'm totally fine when it comes to, uh, like acting or anything like that. Like, you know, like I said, every job's my last job. I'm in a constant state of retirement until I'm not, you know, and I retire again. So, yeah, I, I don't, I don't look, my trick is I don't look for satisfaction, uh, over there. I, I, I turn inward when it comes to stuff, you know, but both me. And my family.

• 58:19Jason Bateman?

  What do you do to give to alleviate the stress? Do you have, do you have, do you have a hobby that's that brings you great pleasure that the people would be surprised about?

• 58:29Speaker 03

  You know, Will, you'll like this. I'm a big Lego guy.

• 58:33Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Yes, I built a lot of Legos. I probably in the last, I probably built about thirty sets in the last like forty days.

• 58:40Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:42Will Arnett?

  You know, Lego has, has, I will say, it does have real sort of.

• 58:49Jason Bateman?

  Soothing, calming.

• 58:50Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like a puzzle.

• 58:52Will Arnett?

  Restorative quality to it, to the soul.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  You, you sort things out, you build it piece by piece, you know, you get that release of endorphins when you're done and that sense of accomplishment.

• 59:03Jason Bateman?

  I love that.

• 59:04Will Arnett?

  It's therapeutic, it's, it can be really therapeutic in a way.

• 59:06Jason Bateman?

  Are you at the level now that, and I, I am not, in fact, I haven't thought about this until just this moment, or do you, do you go without the books?

• 59:15Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, I still, I still do the books, but I do that, some of the ten thousand piece sets and stuff like that, too. I clocked myself, I do just under five hundred pieces an hour I can do, you know, yeah.

• 59:24Jason Bateman?

  What? On a Lego thing?

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm sick of nature at this point.

• 59:29Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, like, do you, yeah, do you have like, you're like a, a, a, a brainiac in like that way, right?

• 59:34Speaker 03

  No, no, just, you know, I, I, I can anticipate, if you do it long enough, you can anticipate what they're gonna do next. So when I sort things and so forth.

• 59:41Jason Bateman?

  I want you to try one without the books, one of these days.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  That'll be interesting, yeah. See what it looks like, you know, yeah.

• 59:47Jason Bateman?

  Because of that, do you have like OCD? Because you like to make things like complete like that?

• 59:51Speaker 03

  No, not necessarily, like, you know, it keeps my, it keeps my mind and my hands busy, you know, and, yeah, and also it's decorative and so forth. I love, like, I'll build like an Avengers set and then my three and four year old just tear it absolutely apart. But it's like, but also that's what, honestly, I kind of like that, you know, it's just, what is it, it's like the Chinese, like, like vases or whatever. They build them, then they smash them and then put them back together and that's kind of, you know, that's the beauty of it.

• 1:00:16Jason Bateman?

  Do you get annoyed when your boys try to help?

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  No, not at all. No, if anything, like they're on like the Duplo stuff, so it's all the oversized things, but I'm really looking forward to building like, you know, some, some proper sets with them. And they have helped me. I'm like, oh, give me that red one, please. And like, you know, so they're they're gonna be super be into it. They, they, they love it. I always get them little Lego men and things like that. Those mystery boxes and all that stuff. They're

• 1:00:38Will Arnett?

  McCauley, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I have, I have deep, uh, deep connections with the folks over in Denmark with the Lego, uh, company. I'm gonna get you in touch with them. I think that you need to do like a signature build, like design a build for the world, the Macaulay Culkin set.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Open up that gateway for me. Yeah, for sure. You know, we were just on, on Fridays and Saturdays on, uh, non-school nights. Uh, we do slumber parties in Mama Papa's bed and, uh, like Clockwork, it's, they like the Lego movie, but also they're super into Lego Batman. They're super into it. My, my, my oldest dressed as Batman, uh, this, this Halloween because he's a big fan of Lego Batman, you know? Oh, that's great. Yeah. And then, uh, yeah. So he was Batman, she was Robin, and I asked him, oh, what do you want me to be? He goes, I want you to be a toilet.

• 1:01:22Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right. I saw that. I saw you went as a toilet. I was a toilet. Yes. That's hilarious. Uh, yeah. But you know, if your son asks you to be a toilet, you gotta be the best thing toilet you can be. You know? Yeah. So that's, uh, yeah. That's hysterical. See, just, just for context. Very nice.

• 1:01:39Sean Hayes?

  Ah, that's hilarious.

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. How did you do that? Did you make that? Yeah, yeah. I just pieced it together with Amazon stuff and everything like that. You know, it's the white crocs really tied the room together, like Lebowski's rug.

• 1:01:50Will Arnett?

  I think, I think that if you go as a toilet, you hope that everybody around you doesn't give a shit.

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Well, I, I, I would jump out from behind trees going poo. Uh, I, I walk by like if someone like there was somebody dressed as a banana, I go, see you later. You know? Like, oh, oh, corn. Oh, yeah. I love corn. You know?

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  And I had a little bag in my bowl and stuff like that. And they like, oh, I'd be trick or treating and they like, do you want some candy? Go, oh, no, I just eat poo. And then I would have a stickers bar ready. Oh, I love poo. Like, yeah, just the kids loved it. I had this one kid who was following me around the entire time all around the neighborhood. You know, yeah. He loved the fact, he's like, oh, look, it's a walking, talking toilet.

• 1:02:32Sean Hayes?

  Meanwhile, Sean is hiding in his house with the lights off and a sign on the front door saying, keep moving. That's true.

• 1:02:40Will Arnett?

  No, we know, we know. You've got a house full of candy, even when it's not Halloween. And you don't want to share with the neighborhood kids.

• 1:02:47Speaker 03

  Like Smough or something like that.

• 1:02:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:02:50Will Arnett?

  Wow, there you go.

• 1:02:51Sean Hayes?

  Wait, what's a perfect, wait, what's the perfect day with you and your family? Just, I know you just said that slumber thing, which is cool.

• 1:02:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, we do slumber party. I really love that. You know, I like taking them to, I'm teaching my boys how to be romantic. So I take them to Trader Joe's and pick out flowers so they can give it to grandma and mama and stuff like that. Like, I love doing that kind of stuff. I like teaching them things, like, you know, yeah, it's good. But, man, they're at that age, they're running me ragged, like, just, you know, just like 40 minutes straight of cardio, just like, yeah, playing, playing. He's like, you be the bad guy, I'll be the police and you be the fireman. Okay, okay, okay. And it's like, oh, man, I'm just like, I'm literally setting fires, you know, so the fireman can put it out, you know, yeah. Running me ragged. But they're, they're that really sweet spot with their, like, they are little people now. They have opinions and the way they converse, just being a fly on the wall, it's, it's, it's so cute, you know, yeah.

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  I think grandma taught the boys, my youngest, who's three, taught, taught them our real names. So it's like, what's your papa's name? He's like, McCovey Cocke. And it's like, what's your mother's name? Brenda Tong.

• 1:03:57Sean Hayes?

  I know, that's always kind of fascinating when you learn your parents' names. I thought it was mom and dad, yeah.

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  Well, my oldest, see, my kids, they look at like Sweet Life of Zack and Cody, that was the show that my lady was on when she was a kid. They watch that and they'll go, oh, that's mama on TV. I showed them Hobo Loned, my oldest especially, he thinks he's Kevin McCallister. Like he doesn't, he doesn't put it, he doesn't put it together that it's me, like you know.

• 1:04:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  So he, he sits there and I'm like, oh, do you remember going down the, the stairs on this lady? He's like, yep, yep, yep, yep. Do you remember, you know, sitting up trash for the bad guy? He's like, yeah, sure do. I'm like, you liar, you lying liar who lies. That was me. Do you like your shoes? That's what paid for your shoes.

• 1:04:35Jason Bateman?

  There's no resemblance between you and the kid in that movie. I love that.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, he has, no, no, he has no idea. And one day, I'm waiting for the big reveal where all of a sudden he's just gonna turn to me and go, hey, wait a second. I'm not gonna tell him. I'm sure some kid's gonna spoil the reveal at school during recess or something like that. But he's gonna turn and go, wait, you've been, the whole time? Like, yeah, whole time. But you know, uh, of all the kids on this planet Earth, they're the closest ones who actually say, oh, yeah, I'm, I'm like that kid from that movie. And yeah, and it's also, watching that movie is taking on an entirely different experience now. Like, you know, before it was kind of just, oh, it was a movie that I did. Now it's something I show my kids and it's, it's a, you know, it's, it's a different animal now. I appreciate it differently.

• 1:05:15Jason Bateman?

  What's such a classic holiday movie? Do you, do you, do they like watching it during the holidays?

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  They absolutely love it. Yeah, no.

• 1:05:21Jason Bateman?

  And they still don't know it's you?

• 1:05:22Speaker 03

  They still don't know it's me.

• 1:05:23Jason Bateman?

  That is crazy.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, you know, I mean, it has been 35 years.

• 1:05:27Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, no, I know, but I'm just like, that's so wild.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know. It's, like I said, it's going to dawn on them. It's gonna dawn on them and it's gonna be like, yeah.

• 1:05:34Will Arnett?

  Like a lot of other parents, I showed my, my kids, they've all seen it a zillion times and loved it.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  Well, they have good taste, yes.

• 1:05:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah, they've been, it's been, it's been a staple. Actually, you know, it's funny. I, I made a video on, uh, I took a photograph of my son from a few weeks ago and I put it on an AI app and I, and I gave the prompt to have somebody hand him a golf club and then he does a golf, uh, does a swing. So he did it. These apps are incredible. So he does the golf, his, this AI-generated video and I show it to him and he's like, yeah, I remember that. And I go, you never did that.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  You liar.

• 1:06:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and I'm like, he's five and he's like, no, I did that. I'm like, no, you didn't. That's, you know.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  He's like, but I just saw it. I, I, clearly it's me.

• 1:06:15Will Arnett?

  Clearly it's me. Anyway, uh, well, Macaulay Culkin, you, first of all, Zootopia 2, you and Jason. Jason's so in love with your character in.

• 1:06:22Jason Bateman?

  Oh, my God. Incredible work.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  Ooh, thanks. You too, man. You know, yeah. Can't, can't wait to meet you on the carpet.

• 1:06:30Will Arnett?

  And then the next season of Fallout as well, you can be seen there as well. And Macaulay, thank you for joining us, man. You're just an absolute legend. Love it. Thanks, fellas. It's such a joy. Such a joy to have you. Great having you, pal. Yeah. The great Macaulay Culkin. Thank you so much, dude.

• 1:06:46Sean Hayes?

  Thanks for being here.

• 1:06:47Will Arnett?

  Thanks a lot, guys. Bye, buddy.

• 1:06:48Sean Hayes?

  See you later.

• 1:06:48Will Arnett?

  Cheers. Bye, toodles.

• 1:06:53Sean Hayes?

  Fantastic. I love learning about the, um, all that stuff. Like, you want to ask him about the Home Alone, but you're like, can I, shouldn't I? But then you're like, I want to know. So it's pretty, that's so wild. His kids don't know it's him.

• 1:07:06Jason Bateman?

  I know. How nuts is that?

• 1:07:08Sean Hayes?

  That's going to be, they're going to be, wait a minute. Well, like, I want to, he shouldn't, he needs to film that moment when they're like, wait a minute, that's you. Um, but really cool. And like, I like how you said, Jay, about how he's, um, kind of just down to earth, figured it out, kind of parented himself through the whole thing and came out great.

• 1:07:26Will Arnett?

  He feels very comfortable with himself and where he's at.

• 1:07:28Jason Bateman?

  Exactly. And he's got that, uh, he's got that, that, that magic, uh, sort of indifference, right? About, about, about work and success and all that stuff.

• 1:07:37Will Arnett?

  Magic or is it, or is it sexy?

• 1:07:39Jason Bateman?

  It might be sexy.

• 1:07:41Sean Hayes?

  Could be a little magic.

• 1:07:42Jason Bateman?

  Probably just keep him working the rest of his life because he's just got that, you know, healthy.

• 1:07:46Will Arnett?

  You know, the thing about the sexy indifference is it's kind of naughty.

• 1:07:49Jason Bateman?

  It is kind of naughty. Dirty.

• 1:07:53Sean Hayes?

  Hey, did you know Jesse Eisenberg gave away his Kenny to a stranger?

• 1:07:56Will Arnett?

  Listen, where's Taylor? Let's get Taylor and the gals in here. Can we get them in here?

• 1:07:59Sean Hayes?

  By the way, they would love to.

• 1:08:01Will Arnett?

  I mean, we'd love to see.

• 1:08:02Jason Bateman?

  Are they still sleeping?

• 1:08:03Will Arnett?

  Let me see. Oh, yeah. We're just going the intercom. How long does it take to get from one end of your house to the other? A while, right? You have golf carts, series of golf carts?

• 1:08:11Jason Bateman?

  Oh, boy. Sean's doing so well.

• 1:08:13Will Arnett?

  I know, he's doing so well.

• 1:08:15Jason Bateman?

  He's really doing it. Um.

• 1:08:18Sean Hayes?

  Hey, so sorry about being late again.

• 1:08:20Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, well, listen, Sean, I'm glad, I'm glad you mentioned that. Do you have a second here? Because Will and I'd love to talk to you about it. Things have been a little sloppy lately, I think, coming out of your, uh, you know, and I'm glad that, I'm glad that the audience is not listening to this because, and Will, do you want to start?

• 1:08:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I just, we, we, let me read the thing I wrote. Sean, we love you and we feel like we are losing you.

• 1:08:44Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wait, they're all coming in. They're all coming in.

• 1:08:47Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god.

• 1:08:48Sean Hayes?

  Come on.

• 1:08:49Will Arnett?

  Here we go.

• 1:08:49Sean Hayes?

  One by one, let's.

• 1:08:50Jason Bateman?

  Here they come.

• 1:08:52Sean Hayes?

  One by one, walk.

• 1:08:52Jason Bateman?

  Ainsley.

• 1:08:53Will Arnett?

  Walk.

• 1:08:54Sean Hayes?

  Come on, here's.

• 1:08:55Will Arnett?

  Name him off, let's go, Sean.

• 1:08:57Sean Hayes?

  This is the.

• 1:08:58Jason Bateman?

  Hi.

• 1:08:59Will Arnett?

  Hey, you're on.

• 1:09:00Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god, look at the, look, what are you doing, Sean?

• 1:09:05Sean Hayes?

  I know, and this is, this is what, yeah, we, yeah, we talked about Jesse Eisenberg.

• 1:09:10Speaker 04

  Oh my god, no. He's like really nice.

• 1:09:14Will Arnett?

  Who's?

• 1:09:17Sean Hayes?

  And wait, what?

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  He's a serious kid, he's no stranger.

• 1:09:20Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 1:09:20Will Arnett?

  I know, we know, we know.

• 1:09:22Sean Hayes?

  And what about who doesn't use a phone?

• 1:09:24Speaker 04

  Ed. Ed Sheeran.

• 1:09:25Sean Hayes?

  Ed Sheeran doesn't use a phone.

• 1:09:27Will Arnett?

  And what do we think of that?

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  He's so out of touch.

• 1:09:30Sean Hayes?

  He's so mysterious.

• 1:09:32Jason Bateman?

  Well, maybe he just needs a Smartless mobile plan.

• 1:09:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, they were nice.

• 1:09:36Sean Hayes?

  Maybe he needs a Smartless mobile plan, he said.

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  Obviously.

• 1:09:38Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:39Will Arnett?

  Sean, sign them up to Smartless mobile immediately, would you?

• 1:09:42Sean Hayes?

  Can you hear? This is my niece, Elise.

• 1:09:45Will Arnett?

  Elise, hi, Elise.

• 1:09:46Sean Hayes?

  Say hello.

• 1:09:47Speaker 04

  Hello.

• 1:09:47Jason Bateman?

  Hi.

• 1:09:48Will Arnett?

  Hi, Elise.

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  Oh my god, no, I can't.

• 1:09:53Will Arnett?

  You know what? Ask them, ask them to, to say.

• 1:09:57Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, okay, ready?

• 1:09:57Will Arnett?

  In unison.

• 1:09:59Sean Hayes?

  Okay, ready? Okay, we gotta go now, so everybody, we're gonna say, one, two, three.

• 1:10:03Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 1:10:03Jason Bateman?

  Bye.

• 1:10:06Will Arnett?

  Smart. Less.

• 1:10:13Will Arnett?

  Smart. Less.

• 1:10:18Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbaco.

• 1:10:30Will Arnett?

  Smart. Less.

• 1:10:35Speaker 05

  No two businesses run the same, so banking for your business shouldn't be one size fits all. That's why Atlantic Union Bank offers knowledgeable guidance and tailored solutions designed around your goals. Whether you're managing cash flow, moving money, or protecting your business from fraud, we make banking for your business both personal and easy. Call, visit us online at AtlanticUnionBank.com or stop by one of our local branches today. Atlantic Union Bank, any way you bank.

• 1:11:04Speaker 04

  Mr. Monopoly here. Miss me? Monopoly is back at McDonald's with millions of prizes: a 2027 Cheap Charity, a Carnival Cruise vacation, gift cards from DoorDash and Best Buy. You'll then play in the McDonald's app. Get your bag!

• 1:11:22Speaker 06

  No purchase necessary. 50 U.S. and D.C. Age 18 plus. See PlayatMcD.com for rules and PlayatMcD.com/AMOE for info and playing without purchase by mail by November 2nd. Chance card game ends November 8th. Game ends November 22nd, 2026. See rules for prize details. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro.