"Laura Dern"

Collapse your stroller: it’s Laura Dern. Sixteen ice cream cones, the hardest acting job of her life, and Nepo Hayes. Save it for the sequel, guys… it’s an all-new SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So this may not surprise you, I have a lot of thoughts in my head. And my dream is to just blurt them out and somehow get them down on paper, because my brain works way faster than my hands. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop. No more typing, you just talk, and the Rambler feature cleans up your ums and uhs and all the times you change your mind. Basically, it turns messy thoughts into tidy text. Visit googlebook.com for details. Available in select countries and languages to 18-plus users. Check the responses for accuracy.

• 0:43Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:25Sean Hayes?

  Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices, and you earn rewards every time you book. So your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple, and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 2:06Sean Hayes?

  The place you call home is important to you. So it's important to Allstate. Because home is where you make all your memories. Things like inviting your friends over for game night and discovering that one of them takes charades way, way too seriously. It's these memories that make a house feel like home. If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings vary. Subject to terms and qualifications. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 2:47Jason Bateman?

  Hey, gang. Jason Bateman here, doing a cold open for Smartless. I'm all by myself. I don't have the other two guys. So this is the horrifying look into what this podcast would be without Sean Hayes and Will Arnett. Just me, talking, gaps, no fun, no humor, nothing interesting. Welcome to Smartless.

• 3:30Jason Bateman?

  All right, so listener, we've got Will beaming in from Bozeman, Montana. We've got Sean P. Hayes there in downtown Hollywood. Oh, there it is. Scotty is applying chapstick onto Sean's lips because that's the role they like to play. Wow. That just happened.

• 3:50Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Well, Jason threatened that he'd do it, and I made him do it.

• 3:54Jason Bateman?

  That was... Does Scotty ever call from the restroom? "I'm done, Sean."

• 4:01Jason Bateman?

  "Wipey."

• 4:03Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 4:06Will Arnett?

  No, no, not in a while, not in a minute.

• 4:10Jason Bateman?

  Will, don't you miss the days? Don't you miss the days of wiping the bums and changing the diaper and the whole like

• 4:16Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Jason Bateman?

  shushing them to bed?

• 4:18Sean Hayes?

  And then what about doing that to your kids?

• 4:20Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you.

• 4:21Will Arnett?

  Sean, you son of a gun. I do miss it. I just, we just sort of, especially now that my little guy is five.

• 4:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 4:30Will Arnett?

  He just seems like such a big boy now.

• 4:32Jason Bateman?

  You're still kind of doing it a little bit.

• 4:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah, but he just seems like such a big boy now.

• 4:35Sean Hayes?

  When is he six? When's his birthday?

• 4:37Will Arnett?

  In May.

• 4:38Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Sean Hayes?

  How about that?

• 4:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:41Jason Bateman?

  Now, Sean, you know, we can cut this and this is getting too personal.

• 4:46Will Arnett?

  Oh, we can cut this in. We can cut this into the middle of another episode, drop it in.

• 4:50Jason Bateman?

  Have you and Scotty ever had a serious conversation about maybe adopting?

• 4:56Sean Hayes?

  You know, it's funny you say that. Yes, but no, like I, it's unfortunate that now, right now, at this age is the time I'm like, oh, boy, I could really have a kid. I think it'd be really fun to be a dad. But unfortunately, it's too, it feels like it's too late. Because of the energy that it requires and all that.

• 5:15Will Arnett?

  Energy, yes.

• 5:16Sean Hayes?

  And so I feel like my brain.

• 5:18Jason Bateman?

  That's what a staff is for, Sean, because you're so staffed up, right? Couldn't you, Will? Like, three night nurses, four nannies.

• 5:26Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but then what, but then I would feel bad about the kid because the kid wouldn't like, I'd have to take it to Disneyland. I'd be too tired.

• 5:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but you'd be like, you know, like the old millionaire distant unavailable dad in the wheelchair, barking orders.

• 5:44Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, from the, no, but I mean, you know what I mean? Like, my brain is there, but like, I, it's, my brain came too late.

• 5:52Jason Bateman?

  I think you'd be great no matter what.

• 5:54Will Arnett?

  Me too. Me too. I know what would happen is it would happen and you would be absolutely obsessed, Sean, in the best way.

• 6:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and 50 is the new 30.

• 6:03Will Arnett?

  Oh, no, what are you gonna do? Your headphones are plugged in. You took your sweater off.

• 6:06Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 6:07Will Arnett?

  Took the plug off.

• 6:08Sean Hayes?

  I can't unplug the fucking, I took my sweater off over my headphones and I'm stuck.

• 6:13Jason Bateman?

  This is the guy who tries to take his sweater off in the car when he's driving.

• 6:16Will Arnett?

  You know what, JB, I think it's better he didn't have a kid. You know what I mean? I just saw that.

• 6:22Sean Hayes?

  I need a parent.

• 6:23Jason Bateman?

  You imagine him trying to collapse a stroller?

• 6:25Will Arnett?

  Oh, my God. By the way.

• 6:28Jason Bateman?

  Trying to get it in the trunk.

• 6:29Will Arnett?

  It would collapse me. Nothing, nothing tests your intellect more than trying to figure out how to collapse one of those.

• 6:36Jason Bateman?

  Or, or by putting in a car seat and trying to, trying to strap in the, the, the, the, the seatbelt thing behind it and into the, and the, the anchors.

• 6:44Will Arnett?

  I'm still, I'm still in the booster phase. I'm, I'm out of the full car seat, but I am still in the booster phase and it is, I still do have sweaty moments.

• 6:52Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 6:52Will Arnett?

  I'm trying to find the thing, the hook underneath and I'm like, just one second, one second and then I'm, oh God.

• 6:58Jason Bateman?

  You just push it.

• 6:59Sean Hayes?

  But a lot of parents are really bad marketers at it because like the second the baby goes crazy and it's having a tantrum and it's in its arms, they look over their shoulder and they mouth to you. They go, don't have kids, right?

• 7:10Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 7:11Sean Hayes?

  Do you know what I mean? And you're just like, well, now I don't want to because you just, I just so witnessed that.

• 7:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but those are just the moments, you know?

• 7:18Will Arnett?

  What was the line, Sean, that you used to always use? You'd say like, I'd have kids.

• 7:21Sean Hayes?

  I'd rather regret not having them than have them and regret it later.

• 7:25Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it's a great line.

• 7:27Jason Bateman?

  It's a great, it should be on a greeting card.

• 7:28Will Arnett?

  I mean, it's just, it's just, it's abstract, but it's great.

• 7:31Jason Bateman?

  Warming.

• 7:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 7:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 7:33Sean Hayes?

  I don't know.

• 7:33Jason Bateman?

  Well, listen, you got Ricky, you know?

• 7:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, by the way.

• 7:36Jason Bateman?

  And Ricky doesn't talk back. He just barks every once in a while.

• 7:38Sean Hayes?

  Barely.

• 7:39Will Arnett?

  I saw JB, Sean, I haven't seen you in forever.

• 7:42Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 7:43Will Arnett?

  I haven't seen you in forever.

• 7:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I saw Sweet Willie last night.

• 7:45Sean Hayes?

  Oh, where?

• 7:47Will Arnett?

  At this event.

• 7:47Jason Bateman?

  Some fancy dancy thing in my bob.

• 7:50Sean Hayes?

  Oh, the governor's thing.

• 7:51Jason Bateman?

  That's it.

• 7:51Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that, I didn't know that was last night.

• 7:53Will Arnett?

  That was last night and I said to, um, I actually said in my thing, I said a few words at the start and I said, um.

• 7:59Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:00Will Arnett?

  You mentioned the podcast and I said, and Jason is actually here today and if you see him, just go up and touch him, hug him. He loves strangers.

• 8:09Sean Hayes?

  It's like a receiving line.

• 8:10Jason Bateman?

  Wait, so did you know I was gonna be there or were you just, did you improvise that?

• 8:14Will Arnett?

  I just improvised that. Yeah, I just, yeah, just in the moment.

• 8:17Jason Bateman?

  This guy's got skills. He's not afraid of a microphone in a spotlight.

• 8:20Will Arnett?

  It was a crazy room and I wanted to make sure to be just kind of respectful and it was such a great night.

• 8:24Sean Hayes?

  How was it? Was it long and, and boring or kind of fun?

• 8:27Will Arnett?

  It was pretty short. It was pretty short. Yeah.

• 8:29Sean Hayes?

  That's good. Yeah.

• 8:30Will Arnett?

  So.

• 8:30Sean Hayes?

  All right. Well, there it is. There it is.

• 8:33Will Arnett?

  Tell you who's not short.

• 8:34Sean Hayes?

  Oh.

• 8:34Jason Bateman?

  Oh, we got a, we got a tall guest coming in.

• 8:36Will Arnett?

  I will say that this, she is an acclaimed actress, producer and filmmaker, known for versatility, emotional intelligent performances across film and television.

• 8:50Will Arnett?

  Born in L.A., both her parents are acclaimed actors themselves. She started acting at a young age. She has been in some of my favorite movies of all time. And I'm also love, and I've had the honor of being in a movie with her. We saw her in Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart. She rambling rose her first Academy Award nomination. She won an Academy.

• 9:16Jason Bateman?

  Look at this, huh? Look at the seamless tie.

• 9:19Will Arnett?

  I was gonna say, she's our friend, Laura Dern.

• 9:22Sean Hayes?

  Oh, my gosh. How exciting.

• 9:24Jason Bateman?

  I can't wait to drill you about just the torches of working with Will Arnett. What is your least favorite part of working with him?

• 9:33Will Arnett?

  No, no, hang on. Before we get into her least favorite part, because she has a lot of least favorite parts. I will say, Laura, I love, I can see in the reflection of your window, the fire.

• 9:40Sean Hayes?

  There's a fire going.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  I mean, guys, and it wasn't even planned. In L.A.

• 9:46Sean Hayes?

  This is gonna be the coziest episode ever.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  It's so cozy. But by the way, has every single guest ever told you that the hardest acting job of their life is staying quiet while you're hysterical? And all I want to talk about is Sean and Scotty as parents? What? That's my dream come true.

• 10:05Jason Bateman?

  This is your time. This is your turn. Go get him. Talk it into it. Laura, give him a good pitch, because you've got a great kid, or two.

• 10:13Will Arnett?

  Two great kids, and she's such a great mom.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  You guys know well.

• 10:17Jason Bateman?

  Tell Sean how great he'd be. And age is not a factor.

• 10:21Sean Hayes?

  I don't know.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  It's not a factor, and I liked the Citizen Kane imagery. I sort of like.

• 10:28Sean Hayes?

  In the wheelchair.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Of Sean. Of Sean rolling into parents, preschooler.

• 10:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, they're only gonna be 10 years old before they have to wipe me.

• 10:38Will Arnett?

  I like the idea of you, Sean, of you, Scotty, and your child eating at one end of a huge, like, 30-person table. Right? With a butler coming in.

• 10:51Jason Bateman?

  Did you finish your homework?

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Oh, the three of you at Dupars? I'm just so.

• 10:55Sean Hayes?

  Oh, my God, Dupars.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  I'm so happy.

• 10:58Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so for Tracy, who may not know, I think she knows, Will and Laura star in the upcoming Is This Thing On?

• 11:05Jason Bateman?

  And Sean Hayes co-stars.

• 11:07Will Arnett?

  And Sean Hayes and Scotty and Scott Eisengel as well.

• 11:11Sean Hayes?

  That's correct. We're both in it as well.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  Who's incredible in this movie.

• 11:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, he's great.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  I will talk about Sean and Will as well, but I have to start with Scotty.

• 11:19Sean Hayes?

  Scotty, yeah.

• 11:19Will Arnett?

  Scotty has one of my favorite lines in the movie. Laura, in that scene where all of us are in that scene and they say, I want to raise a toast to, you know, somebody who's done a great thing, and you're just gonna go, thank you.

• 11:31Sean Hayes?

  Right, exactly, exactly. Oh my gosh.

• 11:34Jason Bateman?

  Where was that great apartment? That was an awesome apartment.

• 11:37Sean Hayes?

  Oh my god, that was.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  In Dumbo, right?

• 11:39Will Arnett?

  That was in Dumbo. That was, yeah, that was Bradley and Andrew Day's apartment, their characters. It was a great apartment.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  That was amazing.

• 11:46Sean Hayes?

  Well, they turned it into a great apartment.

• 11:48Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:50Jason Bateman?

  Laura, I just saw you in another great movie yesterday, Jay Kelly.

• 11:54Will Arnett?

  Jay Kelly.

• 11:54Jason Bateman?

  Nice going.

• 11:55Sean Hayes?

  Ooh, I want to see that.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 11:57Jason Bateman?

  I want to see that.

• 11:58Will Arnett?

  This is what I want to see.

• 12:00Jason Bateman?

  She doesn't really waste her, she doesn't waste her time in bad stuff, guys.

• 12:03Will Arnett?

  No, I know.

• 12:04Jason Bateman?

  When's the last time you saw her in a bad project?

• 12:06Will Arnett?

  You can't, you can't.

• 12:07Jason Bateman?

  A challenge.

• 12:07Will Arnett?

  It doesn't exist.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  Okay, if you want it to be a challenge, I could probably help.

• 12:12Sean Hayes?

  How do you pick projects? Is it script, director, is there an order? Or like, what speaks to you as the role and you don't care about the other stuff? Or how do you pick?

• 12:21Speaker 03

  I guess first I ask if any of you are in it.

• 12:24Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  And then, if I'm lucky.

• 12:27Jason Bateman?

  You got two out of three on the last one.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  By the way, three out of three because, and it always interests me, it's people that come up to me that know specific films that I'm in, that they love, have seen me over the years, mention a few of the films they're grateful for, and then also tell me how much they love me in Ozark. And I'm like, is it because my name is Laura that you're confusing this? Is it just the Laura connection? But Laura Linney will also tell you this.

• 12:57Jason Bateman?

  Really? You guys get stopped for each other?

• 12:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:00Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 13:01Speaker 03

  So I kind of, so we've worked together as well.

• 13:03Will Arnett?

  I can see the people make that brain fart, and they're like, I loved you in Ozark with Justin Bateman.

• 13:10Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That covers all the bases.

• 13:14Will Arnett?

  Laura, you started, listen, we're gonna get into choosing roles. Well, first of all, you can answer Sean's question. What is your criteria?

• 13:22Sean Hayes?

  Is there a process?

• 13:23Speaker 03

  I would say that I-

• 13:26Will Arnett?

  Did you choose well?

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Thank you. I, one, have gotten very blessed to be chosen. So, I don't know that, I think it's more about luck than the choosing. And if we are lucky and as our careers evolve, we maybe get to do some of the choosing. But when I was a kid and getting to watch my parents work with incredible filmmakers, I didn't know what was happening. I was just a six, seven-year-old kid on set.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  I fell in love with their relationship with filmmakers and what that felt like and looked like to see people understand or have an instinct about my parent in a way that I felt I knew them intimately. Things that others didn't know about them. And I thought, man, this is such a crazy dynamic that there are these people that get them in a way they may not even have caught up to in themselves. So I sort of fell in love with that relationship before I even understood what acting was like. And so I always dreamt of getting to work with master filmmakers. And, you know, I got lucky at a young age that extraordinary directors, you know, hired me.

• 14:42Will Arnett?

  But did you, do you remember filmmakers being around the house? Like filmmakers that we know, filmmakers, like, do you remember?

• 14:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I remember when I was six, my summer vacation that became the year that I then went to my parents and said I wanted to start studying acting and became kind of obsessed with the idea of it. Which seems so absurd now, but I just knew, I guess, you know, there are things you know about that you loved. But my mom was doing Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore with Martin Scorsese. And my dad was doing a film, Family Plot, with Alfred Hitchcock. And I went back and forth between those two sets.

• 15:25Sean Hayes?

  So for my sister who might not know, your dad is Bruce Dern and your mom is Diane Ladd, who I'm sorry, just recently passed. I'm so sorry about that.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 15:31Sean Hayes?

  She was fantastic. Same.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  So, yeah, yeah. It was an amazing thing, just like watching these-

• 15:42Speaker 03

  You know, mind blowing directors at work with them. And then, you know, yeah, as a kid, Hal Ashby was my dad's neighbor as well as a colleague. And you know, became such a hero director to me and a lot of directors.

• 15:56Will Arnett?

  Did you do something in Allison Doesn't Live Here Anymore?

• 15:59Speaker 03

  I was an extra. Yeah, I ate an ice cream cone. And I had to, I think they did like 16 takes or something. So I had to eat 16 ice cream cones. And Marty said to my mom.

• 16:12Will Arnett?

  Sean, they're not still casting, by the way.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:15Jason Bateman?

  Sean, on the side, he's been paid for licking before.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. I thought it was gonna be a leader. Sometimes for free.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  But he had sort of commented in front of me to my mom, like, oh, my God, she just ate 16 ice cream cones and she didn't throw up. Like, that kid's gonna be an actress. That's hilarious. I sort of went, oh, someone complimented me.

• 16:36Jason Bateman?

  Do you have any recall at all about what kind of person Alfred Hitchcock was?

• 16:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Guys, it was the craziest thing I remember. You know, because there's all kinds of stories, you know, reputationally about him. But all I know is I was super little and a bit intimidated anyway. Whenever I went on set, I always thought I was in the way and kind of shy. And he had props, make a mini director's chair that he put next to him. And let me sit there with him.

• 17:10Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  Somebody took a picture of that. I, you know what? I have one photo with them on set, but not in the director's chairs, which is crazy.

• 17:20Jason Bateman?

  Just sitting next to him.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  And I didn't know, all I knew was, you know, it was this man who would, yeah, like laugh hysterically at my dad. He thought my dad was so funny and I just loved that because at the time, people would come up to me telling me what a bad guy my dad was because he'd killed John Wayne. And for your sister, my dad was, I think, the only person to successfully kill John Wayne in a movie. So he was not very well liked at the time, but loved for being a bad guy in westerns. But also, as a kid, you're sort of intimidated by people talking about like, oh, man, do I love to hate you. I was like, oh, okay. Enjoy your time at Disneyland. Sean Hayes is with his child.

• 18:05Will Arnett?

  No, he was too tired to go.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  Yes, the man in the wheelchair.

• 18:08Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, exactly. Vroom, vroom.

• 18:09Jason Bateman?

  Did you ever feel any sort of, or did you start too early to feel any sort of intellectual pressure to, to, to work as consistently as your parents have? Like, that's, that's a, those are real tall bars to try to match, jump over, live up to. I mean, you've made it, you've done it, but like.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  This is such a question for you as well, and I will say, one thing I so love every time I get to see Jason, because of our shared friends, is I find you and we find a corner and then we just go. And we share growing up amidst family at young ages, working amidst other family members.

• 18:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but I didn't have parents.

• 18:53Will Arnett?

  Did you guys ever cross paths when you were young? Did you have, did you guys have Hollywood friends in common?

• 18:59Jason Bateman?

  I don't think so, no, no.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 19:01Jason Bateman?

  Laura was in a whole stratosphere higher than.

• 19:06Will Arnett?

  Don't you dare.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  No, the stratosphere, the stratosphere to me was yours. I could, you know, doing the things I was obsessed with.

• 19:13Jason Bateman?

  Your, your parents were so immensely famous your entire life. Were, did, were you, were you even conscious that you were setting yourself up to like, how could I ever live up to that? Or that, that never got, got in your way, did it?

• 19:25Speaker 03

  No, I feel like I was so young.

• 19:28Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  That it was only later that any of that occurred to me, or I probably never would have done it.

• 19:35Jason Bateman?

  Well, but, but, but, but before you said, for, for any, any kids out there that, that do struggle with that, like, thank God you didn't let it get in your way because it shouldn't. Because it is, you are a completely individual person, separate from your parents. You know, even though you may want to go into the same occupation as them, whether it's acting or not, like, it's completely natural that a kid would want to go down the same lane they've, they've watched and admired because your parents are your first heroes. And so, why wouldn't you want to go and do the same thing that they were doing? And it, it doesn't matter whether you end up doing the same accomplishments that they do. It's just, it's, I don't know, I, I just think, I think kids get a bad rap.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  And most professions we, yeah, and most professions we know. Only kind of revere legacy families or going into the family business. Your butcher, a doctor you go to. By the way, knowing your kids, they're just hilarious, brilliant people. And I'm just can't wait for them to write and direct and act if they choose it. Because it's innate in them. And Will and I had an amazing experience because working on our movie, which I will get into and divulge all these beautiful things about Will. Sorry, guys, I'm gonna be super reverent about Will. It's gonna be a bummer for you both. We like him too.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  But we also got to work with Peyton Manning. And when Peyton and I had a scene together and somehow this subject of quote nepo babies came up, he's like, yeah, I'm a nepo baby. And I thought, oh, right. No one ever talks about, you know, legacy, like the great NFL family of all time. Say like Peyton Manning shouldn't have done it. Eli Manning should have done something else. It's so crazy.

• 21:31Will Arnett?

  And here's the other thing, if people didn't want it, whatever, then they wouldn't have opportunity. That's just the way that it works. We know how it works. It all boils down to commerce anyway, right? In any business. If the guy goes, if he's like, my dad was a doctor and I decided to become a doctor and he was a shit doctor, he wouldn't have any patients. Like, that's just the way it goes. And it's the same, it's the same in our business. So I do, but it's an easy target, as you see, because it's so, it's so public. So it's just, you know.

• 21:57Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but if you, like you said, if you don't have the goods, if you're a nepo baby and you don't have the goods, it doesn't, who cares? Like, it doesn't work.

• 22:03Will Arnett?

  You know what, Sean, I just realized, that's what you and Scotty should have. You should have a nepo baby.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:08Will Arnett?

  Adopt a nepo baby.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  Name the baby nepo. That would be amazing.

• 22:15Sean Hayes?

  A great, a great idea.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  Nepo Hayes.

• 22:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I take him to the pediatrics and he's like, nepo, nepo baby. Nepo baby Hayes.

• 22:26Will Arnett?

  This is our son nepo.

• 22:29Jason Bateman?

  Nepo Icicle.

• 22:30Will Arnett?

  And get him in a show right away. Get him into a show.

• 22:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  A reality show.

• 22:36Sean Hayes?

  Finding nepo.

• 22:40Sean Hayes?

  And we will be right back.

• 22:45Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 23:27Jason Bateman?

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• 24:07Sean Hayes?

  Can we talk about something embarrassing besides the sound of my voice? Imagine you're at lunch. The server brings a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar while the food is still on the way. You think, "Just a sip while I wait for my chili dog." So you take that sip, but suddenly, you can't stop drinking that delicious ice-cold Coke Zero. The food arrives, and you're just sitting there, emotionally unprepared, waiting for a lifesaving refill. Real Coca-Cola taste with zero sugar? It's hard to resist. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar: Too Good to Wait. Enjoy the delicious taste of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 24:47Sean Hayes?

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• 25:36Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 25:39Will Arnett?

  Laura, what was the first, what was the first job where you were youth? Well, first of all, I want to do, I do want to say, talking about the parent stuff, JB, I don't know if you know this, when, when you and your mom were, the first time ever, child, mother, daughter, child, parent, were nominated, both got Academy Award nominations for Rambling Rose, a film that I adore. It's an, you're incredible in that movie, Laura, and I'm going to embarrass you because I just love you so much.

• 26:05Sean Hayes?

  Wait, I didn't know that. Both of you got nominated the same year?

• 26:08Will Arnett?

  Same movie, yeah.

• 26:09Sean Hayes?

  On the same movie, yeah, wow.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:11Jason Bateman?

  In the same category?

• 26:13Speaker 03

  No, separate categories.

• 26:14Jason Bateman?

  One was supporting, one was lead?

• 26:16Sean Hayes?

  Wow, that's wild.

• 26:18Will Arnett?

  Isn't that incredible?

• 26:19Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. And did you go to, did you go?

• 26:21Jason Bateman?

  Did you carpool?

• 26:22Speaker 03

  We went together, like, yeah. With my grandma. It was so sweet.

• 26:26Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  It was amazing.

• 26:27Jason Bateman?

  How many generations?

• 26:29Speaker 03

  It was crazy. It was so beautiful.

• 26:31Will Arnett?

  So, so crazy. What was, Laura, what was the first thing that you did where you felt like?

• 26:40Will Arnett?

  Like the first role that you had that you did and you were like, "I got it." Like, not "I got it," but you felt really good, like you feel really connected to it. Like, the first sort of meaty thing that you're like, "Okay." Like, "This is really what I want to do," and it feels good. Did you have one of those?

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe this movie Smooth Talk. It was probably my first lead, and so I had no time to not find devotion. You know, like, it was, we made it for under $2 million. I was in every scene. It was a really radical film with myself and Treat Williams. There's a very deeply troubling and very complicated to shoot, half-hour-long kind of coaxing of this young girl toward a sexual assault, based on a Joyce Carol Oates story. And, you know, radical amounts of dialogue and, you know,

• 27:41Speaker 03

  playing a character, and I was 15 when we made it, who's sort of discovering her sexuality a bit before. I knew so many aspects of self. I didn't know myself in that way so completely. And I had to, yeah, I had to be so emotionally vulnerable and still somehow learn how to take care of myself. And, yeah, that was the first time, I think, I had to be a grown-up.

• 28:13Jason Bateman?

  And after the film was done, or after that particularly hard day, when you did a particularly hard scene, when did you feel like, "Wow, I just kind of slayed that dragon, and I'm on the other side of it?"

• 28:26Speaker 03

  I just went straight to, like, cynical, like, jaded divorcee, 47-year-old smoker. I just was like, "I've done the, you know, now I get to just be a dame." No, not really.

• 28:38Jason Bateman?

  But when did you, but did you feel that you were on the other side of it at the end of the movie, or at the end of that day? Or once it came out and it got received?

• 28:48Speaker 03

  You know what? I think the coolest thing was I I remember actually calling home and calling my mom after just a day of crying all day and thinking, maybe this isn't the most fun job. Maybe this isn't like I didn't understand all these feelings and where to put them. And I was blessed to have parents I could talk to about that and and

• 29:11Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  get some distance from things and learn how to even though it's emotional and you can kind of crack open all these spaces. You don't have to like live in it.

• 29:20Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  It can be healing and a and a job toward healing and not something that kind of rips you apart in some weird way.

• 29:27Jason Bateman?

  But you'd felt that you'd pulled it off. Yeah, those the the tears were believable and all that.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I felt I felt I think I felt a little scared by it because I that it wasn't intentional. I wasn't trying to be a method actor. I was a kid who just had a day of crying all day. And my body was like shaking and unhappy like when you've cried all day.

• 29:47Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  And so I think just the getting to the place where at the end of that day, I learned kind of what was me and what was this other play space of discovery. And I think the deepest joy, which happened around that time and also on Blue Velvet, which were like a year and a half apart. Those were a couple of years in my life where I discovered empathy as this like badass superpower.

• 30:17Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  That being vulnerable and being empathetic and being part of a, you know, a team of people where you're just going to kind of reveal yourself to each other. And it's going to somehow be hopefully safe and and generous.

• 30:31Jason Bateman?

  And move an audience.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  It was like so radical and hardcore and.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Baller, you know, I felt, I, yeah, I felt like a kid who just

• 30:44Jason Bateman?

  It is so weird what we do, right?

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Found a sport. Yeah.

• 30:46Sean Hayes?

  It is.

• 30:47Jason Bateman?

  It is just like, it's the craziest thing in the world to sit there and be so full of shit that you can make yourself cry.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:00Jason Bateman?

  And probably make the person watching cry. And like, everybody's on board that we're playing make believe. The people that are doing it are, are, are in make believe. And I'm pretending that, that it's real, so much so that it's making me, me cry while I'm watching it. Like, everyone signs on to this, like, bizarro moment.

• 31:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:23Jason Bateman?

  That we all go in this dark room together and sit next to these strangers, cry next to one another, and then go leave, get in our car and drive home and have what's for dinner.

• 31:32Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 31:32Jason Bateman?

  Like, it's just like the coolest, weirdest thing.

• 31:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 31:35Will Arnett?

  But it's so, it's so, on a certain level, I can't believe, it, it, you just, hearing you say it that way, JB, you realize it is all just about, we all just want to connect and we all just want to, like, connect with each other and have these shared experiences because something about that, it inspires us, it, it, it makes us, uh, we can relate to it, we, we watch.

• 31:57Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, life's really interesting to people.

• 31:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:59Jason Bateman?

  You know, like, let's see these little pieces.

• 32:01Will Arnett?

  And, and you go, well, you, you go and you, you know, at its greatest, when you go and you see something that kind of moves you in that way, having that emotional connection to that, or having that shared experience, not even just with the people in the theater, but the people when you're watching it, I guess, and it's just occurring to me for the first time, maybe I'm just a slow learner, it, it does, there's something about it that, that like, it, it, it sort of, it stirs something in, in us and makes us sort of, gives us perspective on our own experience. And it sort of answers questions about our own experience and all that kind of stuff. I think it's illuminating to the human spirit, if you will. As bullshitty as that sounds, I really actually believe that now, today.

• 32:44Sean Hayes?

  I cried at Force, I cried at Force Awakens.

• 32:47Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I'll bet you did.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  Well, yeah.

• 32:48Will Arnett?

  I bet you did.

• 32:49Jason Bateman?

  Did the projector break or something?

• 32:50Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  I cried.

• 32:52Will Arnett?

  Were you sitting behind somebody with, were you sitting behind somebody with a hat or something?

• 32:56Jason Bateman?

  Did you spill your bombolons?

• 33:00Sean Hayes?

  But no caps.

• 33:01Will Arnett?

  They ran out of milk, they ran out of milk caps, or?

• 33:04Speaker 03

  But it is crazy that, you know, you can't fake truth. Like, you could, you could fake a lot of things.

• 33:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  And you guys all know as incredible actors and also as directors that that there's this other thing that happens that we all feel together when we get to the truth of a thing, and it can't be faked.

• 33:26Jason Bateman?

  Right, but, but, but like at the same time, we're all pretending that it isn't fake. Like, we know that it's fake and we're all just saying, okay, let's all agree to focus so hard that we can convince ourselves and our tear ducts and everything that this is real. Like, I love that everybody just kind of silently signs on to that and no one knows each other.

• 33:50Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:51Will Arnett?

  But in those, but in those moments, it is, it is real. That, that's the, kind of the flip of it. JB, you know, it's funny.

• 33:57Sean Hayes?

  Well, that's the magic of movies.

• 33:58Jason Bateman?

  We'll be right back.

• 33:59Will Arnett?

  Oh, God, sorry. Shit, Sean's mic is working. God damn it. Hey, I, I was watching JB, weirdly enough, on Instagram, Cross, David Cross posted a clip from Arrested Development, and I was watching you.

• 34:13Sean Hayes?

  Oh, no, I saw him doing, doing stand up.

• 34:14Will Arnett?

  No, and you were, you were doing a scene from early on, you were doing a scene with, with David and Portia, and there was something about you, I was watching you do this scene, and, and you were, and they're both acting like imbeciles, and so you're in the middle between them, and they're, and I was so on the ride with you. You were such a great, you took me on this thing, and I know it inside and out, and yet I was still really taking you doing, and it's not you, JB, but you were doing this thing, and it, and it made me laugh, and it made me feel good, and I had a connection to it on a deeper level as well, but I just, it made me love you, and I was just like, fuck, look at this guy, he's so good at doing this.

• 34:56Jason Bateman?

  I love that. Why do people say all those nasty things about him?

• 35:00Sean Hayes?

  Well, if, yeah, if we believe it, then the audience will believe it. Laura, do you, you had a, um...

• 35:07Will Arnett?

  Oh, shit, Sean, sorry, we mentioned Sean. Sean's got a spaghetti meatballs that's on the stove, and so he's got to get to his questions quick.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Scotty come in and give him some of his mom.

• 35:19Sean Hayes?

  By the way, I just said Chinese with what did I have to drink? A glass of milk because it was too spicy.

• 35:23Jason Bateman?

  It's 4:30. What do you mean?

• 35:25Sean Hayes?

  No, it's 7:30.

• 35:26Will Arnett?

  He's in New York.

• 35:27Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you are in New York?

• 35:28Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 35:29Will Arnett?

  By the way, JB, I had a FaceTime with the before. The three of us had a FaceTime before our session here, Laura. And then before that, Sean and I talked like an hour ago about something. And I go, and Sean goes, I gotta go, I gotta eat before we do the show. And he goes, um, and I go, oh, yeah, okay, I'll let you go. And he goes, I'm having Chinese.

• 35:52Sean Hayes?

  Everyday dinner's an event in his life. I love that.

• 35:56Will Arnett?

  It was such a funny.

• 35:57Sean Hayes?

  I haven't had Chinese in so long. Laura, do you like Chinese food?

• 36:01Speaker 03

  I love it. I love it. Not as much as Nepo. Nepo talks a lot about how much he loves Chinese.

• 36:08Sean Hayes?

  He can't get enough of it.

• 36:09Jason Bateman?

  I'd like Chinese tonight.

• 36:10Sean Hayes?

  Hey, this is, I promise this is the only Jurassic Park question I'll ask. But when we were on the set of, um,

• 36:16Will Arnett?

  Is it real?

• 36:17Sean Hayes?

  No, is this, is this thing on? We were on the set, you told me the greatest story. Can you just tell it really fast because it's so cool? Something about, um, do you remember what it was? It was about?

• 36:28Speaker 03

  Oh, was it about Steven with the megaphone the first day?

• 36:31Sean Hayes?

  Yes, yes.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, that we were, I mean, this was the first CGI movie. So all we knew was we were going on this journey and there was this new idea called CGI. And there was this company called ILM, Industrial Light Magic. And, you know, Dennis Muirin was this guy I met on set. And they were talking about how they could paint an image on the computer. And things might show up that aren't there in real life. And they would put an X on a piece of paper and put it in like an orange picker up into a tree. And they stare at the X. And I kept thinking, oof, this may really not work.

• 37:15Speaker 03

  Because it just seemed nuts that it was even possible. And it was the first day, I think it was like second or third day on set. And it was the first day we were all there as a group. And we're looking into the, what was the Raptor pen, I guess. And, and Sir Richard Attenborough is kind of giving us a tour of the park. And there's supposed, for the first time, we hear something that may be a roar in the distance.

• 37:45Sean Hayes?

  That's right.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  It's like your first hint of something. And we did the first take and we were all like looking in the wrong direction and not responding at the right time. So he said, Stephen, we need help. I mean, yeah, nothing's there, but we need to hear it at the same moment. He goes, oh my God, of course, of course. And obviously we had to be scared to sell the things that aren't there. So Stephen was sitting at camera and they rolled camera, action. We're looking, we turn our heads, the moment's about to come. And Stephen takes a megaphone and goes, roar, roar. And we all lost it.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  And I know in that moment, this group of actors looked at each other like, this is a disaster.

• 38:36Sean Hayes?

  That, that must've been like, wait, what are we doing? Like, what? So you're just gonna go roar through the whole movie? He lost his privileges on the bullhorn.

• 38:47Will Arnett?

  It also occurs to me, Laura, you're, you've become like, sort of like the emblem, like the, the sort of the icon for, they always use that image of a person. Yes, for me, you're my icon, obviously. Yeah, you're my, and, but that thing of you, of the, of the big dinosaur coming up, like right up against your face and you're totally freaked out. That is like such an iconic, you know, they always include that. You know, it's like a huge, when you see that, do you remember the day you were shooting? Do you remember what you were going through? Do you remember like?

• 39:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, the reaction, yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was crazy. And I mean, it was amazing because the incredible Stan Winston had built animatronic puppets. So there were so much practical puppetry on set.

• 39:29Sean Hayes?

  That's a real head there, yeah.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. And it was, yeah, you cuss. I've heard the crazy shit on this show. Like scary as fuck, like nothing scary ever.

• 39:41Will Arnett?

  Oh shit, we don't, we don't use.

• 39:42Sean Hayes?

  Sorry, not from the women.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  He told me that too when I just said it again. And a third time.

• 39:50Sean Hayes?

  From the women.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  But it's so scary. Those dinosaurs were terrifying.

• 39:56Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I mean, isn't it wild?

• 39:57Speaker 03

  There was no acting.

• 39:58Sean Hayes?

  I'm sorry if you get asked this all the time, but isn't it wild to be part of something that you had no idea what it was gonna be? It was cutting-edge technology, and now it spawned like, I don't know how many movies. It was part of like this massive movement in Hollywood that changed how they made movies. And you were the first person. You were part of it. It was, that's just so cool.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  I made Wild at Heart, I guess like the year before, two years before, something like that. And so I told Nick Cage that I had been offered this opportunity. And I was like, you know, I haven't read it yet, but all I know is Steven explained that, I guess dinosaurs are gonna come back to life. And there's a book, I'm gonna read the book. And he goes, "You don't have to know anything." Dinosaurs are gonna come back to life? You have to do this movie? And I just remember Nick being the person who, yeah, made me know I had to say yes instantly before learning more.

• 40:59Will Arnett?

  Wait, okay, wait, wait, wait, Laura. So Sean opened the door, and then you just mentioned Wild at Heart. So first of all, it should be noted, Laura made, you made so many great movies with the incomparable David Lynch, who I know is a close friend of yours as well. And he was just, you know, one of the all-time greats. And the two of you had this great collaboration on all these great movies. First one being Blue Velvet. Just talk for a second about how that came to be.

• 41:27Sean Hayes?

  So good.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  Met him on an audition, and...

• 41:33Will Arnett?

  What part was he reading for?

• 41:34Speaker 03

  I was just turning 17.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  And he was very good, to be honest. But crazily, I went in and we talked for, I feel like 45 minutes with the casting director and David, about everything, and I never read for him.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  And the casting director had seen me in a couple of films and I guess recommended me, but he, I don't think had seen my acting yet. But he just had an instinct and he was so a believer in following instinct. And it seemed to go well. I mean, I just was, you know, so in love with his movies already. So it was such a huge thing to me. I'd seen Eraserhead, I'd seen Elephant Man.

• 42:21Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  So I was just blown away by him. And then he invited myself and Kyle McLaughlin to lunch at Bob's Big Boy. And I remember him doodling on a plate in ketchup, making like the most abstract and amazing drawings on his plate while the two of us were just talking and chatting it up and him watching the two of us. And, and I could see in his eyes, him starting to see his movie.

• 42:49Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  It was amazing feeling as an actor. You know, it wasn't about us necessarily or us separately, but as a whole, there was something that he felt was right for the film. So that was really cool experience. That is great.

• 43:04Will Arnett?

  I mean, that must have been.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  Amazingly, I got cast.

• 43:07Will Arnett?

  Did you, did you, when you started making Blue Velvet, it sounds like you did it at that moment, understand that you were doing something different, like that doing with him was different?

• 43:19Speaker 03

  I didn't know what it was gonna be, or it was such an insane, brilliant and insane script and world, terrifying and beautiful and all the things that, you know, and hilarious and all the things that Blue Velvet is. But I had just started college. I was on day two when I got offered the movie and was beside myself and was told that I couldn't leave school. They wouldn't let me have a leave of absence, so I went to the head of the program I was in to. Say, here's the script, here's everything. Can I have a tutor and I'll, you know, make a

• 44:00Will Arnett?

  Whatever it takes.

• 44:01Speaker 03

  You know, behind the scenes, like I'll do whatever I can do. Please, please. And I remember saying to this professor, I just have this feeling, this is my college education. And they told me that not only would I never be invited back to this university if I chose the movie, but that I was making, you know, the most radical mistake of my life. And so I remember entering that whole experience thinking, which I don't think I ever would have understood if I hadn't watched My Parents with these directors and had this feeling with David, like this is my, not only home, but this is my teacher. This is my college.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  This will be, I mean, in some unconscious way, I think I did know this is the greatest opportunity.

• 44:52Will Arnett?

  You were literally at a crossroads. You were literally at a crossroads and you chose to go that way. And it seems, it seems you made the right choice. We don't have to name that professor by name, but if you'd like to take the opportunity to shame them, that'd be fine.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Right now, please.

• 45:04Jason Bateman?

  Well, if you, if you, if you, what, what, what was, what was running second place as far as a possible career path for you? Was there ever anything else on your radar? Or since then, like if somebody said, you can't do this anymore. Got to do something else to

• 45:23Speaker 03

  I'd be pretty fucked.

• 45:24Jason Bateman?

  Really? Yeah, I think.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  Now, I would definitely be. At like 12, I had, at 12, I had an idea about being a child psychologist. That was really interesting to me. As Will knows, I loved being a swimmer.

• 45:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, Laura, a psychologist for children, not a, not a 12 year old psychologist. Not a child psychologist.

• 45:48Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:56Sean Hayes?

  Let's talk about the Idaho Effect. It's a feeling you get hiking the Sawtooth Mountains at sunrise, or mountain biking on hero dirt at Silver Mountain Resort, leaving you craving more. It's a feeling where the freedom to roam is real, and it's found in Idaho. Idaho might just be the last authentic place in the West. Once you have this feeling, one that stays with you long after returning home, that's the Idaho Effect. Plan your Idaho vacation at visitidaho.org.

• 46:35Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 47:18Sean Hayes?

  Can we talk about something embarrassing besides the sound of my voice? Imagine you're at lunch. The server brings a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar while the food is still on the way. You think, "Just a sip while I wait for my chili dog." So you take that sip, but suddenly, you can't stop drinking that delicious ice-cold Coke Zero. The food arrives, and you're just sitting there emotionally unprepared, waiting for a lifesaving refill. Real Coca-Cola taste with zero sugar? It's hard to resist. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar: Too Good to Wait. Enjoy the delicious taste of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 47:59Sean Hayes?

  And back to the show.

• 48:02Jason Bateman?

  Where does the swimming come from?

• 48:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah, she's a swimmer.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  I just.

• 48:05Jason Bateman?

  When did that start?

• 48:07Speaker 03

  Love it since I was little and then became, you know, just in school, competitive swimmer. Will knows way too much about it.

• 48:14Sean Hayes?

  And in the movie, is this thing on, you play an Olympic volleyball player. And I remember when we were, when we were, when we were starting and you're like, God, I really gotta like figure this out. I gotta find how like, I gotta do the work. And you went and you played volleyball, right? Or something, or you took lessons or something like that?

• 48:31Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 48:31Sean Hayes?

  And in the movie, in the shots and everything, I'm like, oh my God, I completely believe that you were volleyball player for the Olympics. I mean, 100%.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Thank you, Sean.

• 48:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's true.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 48:41Jason Bateman?

  But wait, I don't remember you, I've seen it twice. I don't remember, was it just the one picture that has you?

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a picture and there's one quick cutaway of me just.

• 48:51Jason Bateman?

  Got it. Okay.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Spiking, but I think it's mostly, well, two things. One, as Will and I both can talk about, you guys all know that Bradley is like such a radical, disciplined beyond compare,

• 49:10Speaker 03

  perfectionist in his like drive of whatever it is, the truth, the Philly cheese steak sandwich, the movie, you know, it's gotta be the one. And so, you know, I feel like I pride myself sometimes on throwing myself into things, but in this case, I was like, oh yeah, even if it's not in the movie, I gotta get up two hours before and train. Because, you know, the manner at which you hold yourself and the way you carry your body when it's embedded in you.

• 49:45Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  Is, um, yeah, is different and her manner is different.

• 49:49Will Arnett?

  And Sean, Jason, Sean, maybe you know a little bit, but, but when we were talking about like when Bradley said, I think that Laura's gonna do, agreed to do this, which totally elevated everything that we were talking about doing once she agreed. And it was, and he always describes it, he's like, this character needs to be an assassin. And Laura is a fucking assassin. And so when she started to really inhabit.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  That really hurt my feelings.

• 50:17Will Arnett?

  I know. No, because she's literally killed people. She's killed people. She's a sniper.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  We wouldn't get into that.

• 50:23Will Arnett?

  She does, she has, she has silencers, she does piano wire, she's an assassin. No, but she, that she, that she, you know, this idea, and then she started to carry herself with that thing. Like she had this sort of like, that sort of competitive athlete edge to her. It was fucking rad and we did some work beforehand.

• 50:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. So Will, so what was that like? When you started to go through just even just the, the reading the script sort of rehearsal process? I'm assuming you guys did. Was there a moment where you're sitting across the table from Laura and you start seeing Laura do Laura stuff? And like you start seeing that talent and you're like, oh, fuck. I better really kinda, yeah.

• 51:04Will Arnett?

  Hundred percent. I mean, we, we had the luxury, I mean, JB, I will tell you, yes, first of all, a lot. And she's the most gracious and warmest and kindest person and really, you know.

• 51:15Jason Bateman?

  I can vouch for that.

• 51:16Will Arnett?

  Held, yeah, held my hand and we were such partners and she was just, and we, we started and we read a bunch, you know, early on and went through the script and she had so many great ideas for, you know, leading up to it. And then we went through this great rehearsal process together and did this workshop, which was super rad. And where we got to know each other and that's why we know way too much about each other's lives.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Really everything.

• 51:40Will Arnett?

  And then we ended up, you know, um, yeah, when you're just in this, you know, in the scene. Of course it occurred to me that I'm like, oh, well, wait. And I said this to Laura, like early on, I said, like, you know, it's, for me, this is such a leap. I'm, I'm, again, Laura, you can plug your ears or whatever and embarrass her, like, you know, she's Laura Dern, Academy Award winning, you know, just super talent. And, and watching her, it's like playing tennis with a, with a great. And, and it just, it does nothing but just, you know, it raises all boats, you know, high tide. And, and, but I was nervous and I expressed it. I told her that. And I said, I, you know, I'm, I feel nervous. And she was really, really gentle with me, you know?

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Well, let me just say, this is a great privilege on Smartless because being.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  A radical fan of all three of you, not to mention your incredible friendship. And the way you can destroy or mock each other with so much love is an art no one else and no other friendship knows. But let me be the person who gets to be on Smartless to pay homage to Will's bravery. Because Sean was there with us.

• 52:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  And I know, Jason, you've seen it. Like.

• 52:57Jason Bateman?

  Incredible performance.

• 52:58Speaker 03

  It is incredible.

• 53:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Who he is, what he's willing to reveal, his vulnerability, his willingness to, yes, take my hand and for us to explore everything with each other for these characters and this, you know, 25-year relationship. But, oh my God, the truth, the, the heartbreak that he exposes within himself and to me is like unparalleled. So it's me who has to say how blessed I was. Really like no bullshit to be staring in his eyes and be forced to be honest and see myself in ways sometimes was not comfortable

• 53:46Speaker 03

  and also beautiful and revelatory. What a fucking actor, people.

• 53:52Jason Bateman?

  Well, even just the bravery, how it just started even early by Will just like, just writing it, you know, with Chappie, like saying, well, yeah, I'm gonna try to write a script. And it's not gonna be like, you know, silly shit. This is gonna be like real stuff from the heart, like a drama, a raw drama. And then like, expect it to be taken seriously and read by people that are like Academy Award winning and nominated people. And then, and then, and then they say, okay, we're doing it.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:26Jason Bateman?

  And it's like.

• 54:27Sean Hayes?

  You're like, oh, just kidding, just kidding.

• 54:28Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and now, and now I gotta like be a great actor in this thing.

• 54:33Sean Hayes?

  You're right, right, right.

• 54:34Jason Bateman?

  And then pulling that off too, like, this is pretty fucking cool.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  So beautiful.

• 54:38Will Arnett?

  Thank you, guys, thank you.

• 54:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, can't wait.

• 54:41Will Arnett?

  It was scary, there were a couple, there were a couple of great moments and Laura, well, I tell you, this is, we were, we were making the movie and we were trying to get this scene, we had a crazy, trying to get this, trying to get the scene, we had a crazy day where we rehearsed all morning with the crew standing by.

• 54:59Sean Hayes?

  This is the scene towards the end of the movie?

• 55:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and then we shot all afternoon and, and it was tough and we just, you know, it's one of those days where you're just swimming, you're like, did we get it, are we getting it, are we close? Or are we super far away and are we just swimming even further away from what we want? And all this kind of stuff. And over the week, and it was a Friday, and so we wrapped late on the Friday night and over the weekend, Laura and Bradley and I ended up having a bunch of conversations over the weekend and Laura and I had this, it was, I don't know how you felt, but for me, that was such a turning point. And we had this really awesome, honest conversation about, about just all of it and being honest with each other, about how we felt and blah, and it was like this crazy turning point for us in the movie.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:45Will Arnett?

  And from that point on, we were such partners.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:49Will Arnett?

  And I, I take, I love, I love that people respond to our relationship in the movie, but I will say that like you were, that, it was born out of real experience.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  Yes, a million percent.

• 56:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you can tell the chemistry is real.

• 56:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting that we didn't get there because the first sort of half of the shoot, we were in this antagonistic dynamic.

• 56:19Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  And so it was like when we had to truly face each other and be boundaryless about who we were, then, you know, and you really held my heart in it and, you know, I said stuff, you don't, you know, that's what's incredible, right? In these intimate relationships, as you were talking about, Jason, like there we are in this familial story that we're trying to tell all together, but that we were. Truly, the most honest I've ever been with someone.

• 56:51Will Arnett?

  Me too, ever. And I remember we showed up, we shot this scene that's not in the movie, where we go to the hospital. It was the first thing on Monday. And we all, and we, so we had this great conversation, a couple of conversations, and we showed up, and it was like, from that moment on, it was just unreal. Like, that scene, it just didn't work in the movie. The scene is fucking great.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:11Will Arnett?

  It just changed everything. It was really wild. And for me, anyway. It was the first time I've experienced it.

• 57:16Sean Hayes?

  Can we enjoy that scene on DVD extras?

• 57:18Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I'm gonna load it up on the internet pretty soon.

• 57:20Sean Hayes?

  Okay, great.

• 57:21Will Arnett?

  Don't you miss DVD extras? As soon as I think of it. I do miss DVD extras.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  And Sean and Scotty.

• 57:27Will Arnett?

  So then Sean and Scotty.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  I mean, what miraculous best friends.

• 57:31Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  I mean, Will actually has them in his life. I just pretended. And you were the best friends I'd ever had.

• 57:39Sean Hayes?

  Likewise.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  We ended up on a group text. I felt so excited and proud.

• 57:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah. I loved it. The first day we showed up, Willie was so sweet. He said, "I feel like my family just showed up on set." It was very kind, very sweet. That was so fun.

• 57:50Will Arnett?

  Sean had to do, Sean does this scene, by the way, I don't know if you've told this. Sean does this scene, Laura knows it, I mean, with the, so we're in the Oyster Bay house, and he's got to, he and Scotty have to go, and it's a stretch. They had to go and raid the fridge at night for all the, like, tiramisu and ice cream, right?

• 58:07Sean Hayes?

  All right, and you're on the couch, trying to sleep.

• 58:10Will Arnett?

  And so they're supposed to be in bed, and he's like, and he goes like, "Yeah, I think they're kind of high," and whatever.

• 58:15Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 58:16Will Arnett?

  Sean eats a gummy, and so all day he's trying to time when he's gonna eat the gummy for that scene. Wow, really, Seanie?

• 58:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, thank you, thank you.

• 58:24Will Arnett?

  He kept going, he kept going to me, like, "Do you think it's too early if I eat it right now?"

• 58:29Sean Hayes?

  Because I want to eat it right when we shoot it, right? Laura, I want to know, like, who, other than the three of us, because I know that's what you would joke around and say, but truly, because you've been around, because you've been around since you were a kid, who were you starstruck the most by, growing up, or recently, or anything, or do you even get it? And I always ask Jason that too, because you guys obviously grew up in the business, and I didn't, and so I'm always like, wow, I'm still like, wow, wow, wow. And I know you guys are too, but like, who is, is there a person recently, or even when you were younger, that you were like, "Okay, I can't believe I'm working with this person, or I'm meeting this person?"

• 59:04Speaker 03

  I don't know about you, Jason. I feel like, sometimes I feel like I'm the most starstruck, and maybe because... The equity for mastering something or loving something was all about movies in my family. So if I meet heroes, I lose my mind. But it's movie actors and directors and musicians, big time, too.

• 59:29Sean Hayes?

  Oh, musicians, yeah.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Meeting music heroes is a big deal.

• 59:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 59:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. What is that about musicians and athletes and actors? They all kind of want to be one another.

• 59:40Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, because it's a world you're not in. So it's like, wow, yeah, I get that.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  It's a crazy thing. But I think for me, like, meeting heroes of another time was always such a huge gift.

• 59:58Will Arnett?

  Like Alexander the Great?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Alexander the Great was huge. Oh, well, I told you that story. Like I said, he knows all my stories.

• 1:00:05Sean Hayes?

  No, because I remember when Rashida Jones was on, I was like, she just grew up with like Michael Jackson coming over for dinner. I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, what?

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  I know, but I've become friends, can I say that? Which is insane and so privileged with Carol Burnett, because I produced this show, Home Royale. And like, working with her, knowing her. And even though she knew my mom and, you know, there are these crossover things. But when you have your own relationship with these legends that raised you on their talent, raised you on their shows, that's crazy.

• 1:00:40Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Actually, I did just find, and Jason will relate to this because it was of an era that we grew up around. My mom's Battle of the Network Stars Award.

• 1:00:55Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  CBS won when she was on the team, yes.

• 1:00:58Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 1:00:59Speaker 03

  And it was such a, I became such a fan. I was like, oh, my God, Battle of the Network Stars. This is like the greatest award. I can't believe I have her Battle of the Network Stars Award. Because you realize it's the The way things entered your living room. Like Lucy, there will never be a greater hero.

• 1:01:18Jason Bateman?

  Right. It was the greatest show, right? Why don't they bring that goddamn show back?

• 1:01:24Will Arnett?

  Didn't we talk about it for a minute? Didn't we talk?

• 1:01:27Speaker 03

  And we talked, we actually, we were at a dinner with Ted Sarandos telling him they should make Battle of the Network stars.

• 1:01:34Jason Bateman?

  Right, Battle of the Platform Stars, right?

• 1:01:36Will Arnett?

  Yeah, the streaming stars.

• 1:01:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, the streaming stars, exactly. Netflix people against Amazon people, against Apple people, against HBO people, yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  Killer.

• 1:01:45Jason Bateman?

  How great would that be?

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Netflix has Squid Game, guys.

• 1:01:47Jason Bateman?

  But then what would you put it on? What platform would get to air it?

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  We know who's winning.

• 1:01:51Will Arnett?

  Tubi, yeah.

• 1:01:52Jason Bateman?

  Tubi, I'll put it on Tubi.

• 1:01:53Will Arnett?

  Jason, do you?

• 1:01:54Jason Bateman?

  I'm not sure, do I have Tubi?

• 1:01:59Sean Hayes?

  That's such an old reference.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  Movie, not Tubi.

• 1:02:03Will Arnett?

  That's an old smartless reference, which is a weird thing to say.

• 1:02:07Jason Bateman?

  An old raid.

• 1:02:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:09Jason Bateman?

  Oh, man.

• 1:02:10Will Arnett?

  Laura, Laura, Laura, I could just, I could just talk to you all day.

• 1:02:14Jason Bateman?

  Save it for the sequel, you guys.

• 1:02:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, oh, we've already discovered.

• 1:02:19Sean Hayes?

  It's called Is This Thing Still On?

• 1:02:20Will Arnett?

  We discussed Is This Thing Still On?

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  And then you came up with the title for the third or fourth film.

• 1:02:26Will Arnett?

  Which one? What was it?

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  Like, somebody turn this thing the fuck off or something?

• 1:02:30Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, somebody please turn this thing off.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Please turn this thing off.

• 1:02:35Sean Hayes?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  The Final Adventure.

• 1:02:38Sean Hayes?

  Say the date when the movie comes out again, so we know.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  December 19th.

• 1:02:43Sean Hayes?

  December 19th. December 19th.

• 1:02:44Will Arnett?

  December 19th, Is This Thing On, starring the great Laura Dern.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  Will Arnett.

• 1:02:50Will Arnett?

  Yeah, the great Laura Dern.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  And Sean Hayes.

• 1:02:52Will Arnett?

  And Sean Hayes, and Scott Isnogel, Andrew Day, Bradley Cooper, and Bradley Cooper film, This Christmas, Take Your Heart on a J- can I do the old my own trailer?

• 1:03:02Sean Hayes?

  Please do.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Please.

• 1:03:03Sean Hayes?

  Take your heart, take your heart on a funny bone, dried, a funny bone, what?

• 1:03:09Will Arnett?

  Every once in a while, a film comes along that'll touch your heart. And then, I feel good, dude.

• 1:03:21Will Arnett?

  That's literally every trailer. I know. In the 80s, every trailer did that. Laura, we love you. Thank you. Laura, we love you.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  I love you guys. I'm so honored to be on this brilliant, incredible ride that is called Smartless. And your guys' friendship makes me so happy.

• 1:03:37Jason Bateman?

  It's overdue.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:03:40Jason Bateman?

  I guess we had to time it to your release and everything.

• 1:03:42Will Arnett?

  I know. It was long overdue. We had to wait. We had to wait. We've been talking about this since March. But Laura, I will see you really soon.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  I love you. I love all of you. And I'm gonna see you. Literally, I'm seeing you instantly. We're like taking it on the road as soon as you're done on your adventure right now.

• 1:04:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah, like, we're going to, I'll see you in London.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  I'll see you in London.

• 1:04:03Jason Bateman?

  Lovely.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  And I'll see you guys very soon, I hope.

• 1:04:06Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's some sort of a holiday party or something.

• 1:04:08Speaker 03

  I'm sad we aren't making Ozark anymore, but I know we're part of things.

• 1:04:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  Near and near future, please go.

• 1:04:14Will Arnett?

  You know what I got last night when we were wedding? We were at the valet real Hollywood moment.

• 1:04:18Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:19Will Arnett?

  And Ed Sheeran came over to Jason Bateman. Jason was complaining because the guy lost his ticket for his ride. It was great. It was a great Bateman moment.

• 1:04:30Jason Bateman?

  Don't make me snap this off.

• 1:04:32Will Arnett?

  And I was, and I was making it work because he's legit frustrated. I'm like, look at Bateman, he's gumming up the line and stuff. He was not happy. And then Ed Sheeran came over and said, oh, man, I love Ozark. And they gave him a hug and they hugged. Oh, that's nice. Did you know that was Ed Sheeran? You don't know anything.

• 1:04:48Jason Bateman?

  I did. I figured it out. No, of course.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  And then you handed him your wig as a thank you.

• 1:04:55Jason Bateman?

  And I said, here, let me give you, let me sign this for you. It was right there on the netting.

• 1:05:01Speaker 03

  A Sharpie will work on the netting. That's cool.

• 1:05:04Will Arnett?

  On the label.

• 1:05:04Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh.

• 1:05:08Speaker 03

  He's a label maker as well for his wigs. I love you guys.

• 1:05:13Jason Bateman?

  Love you, Laura Dern.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  I love you guys so much.

• 1:05:15Jason Bateman?

  We'll see you soon.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  And I'll attend to the fire. So soon.

• 1:05:18Will Arnett?

  We'll see you very soon, Laura. We love you.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  Love you. Thanks, guys, for having me.

• 1:05:23Jason Bateman?

  Bye.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:05:23Will Arnett?

  Bye.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  Bye, guys.

• 1:05:28Jason Bateman?

  That Laura Dern, um, how lucky did you, did you and Bradley get by getting her? It's just like so dependent on somebody that kind of comes out of the screen is like something you just, you, you want to make an emotional investment in, right? You just, you, you can't help but love her.

• 1:05:43Sean Hayes?

  And also the pedigree.

• 1:05:45Will Arnett?

  The pedigree and she's just.

• 1:05:46Sean Hayes?

  And the talent and the history of the.

• 1:05:48Will Arnett?

  She's got no choice when it, in the talent. She's one of those people is just, it's just in her, in.

• 1:05:53Sean Hayes?

  I mean, before I, before I knew her for years and years and years and years and years, we would go, how you Dern? Because of her.

• 1:05:58Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 1:05:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:00Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you'd say that to your friends?

• 1:06:01Will Arnett?

  Remember those times?

• 1:06:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, remember that? How you Dern?

• 1:06:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah. No? We, we weren't in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, man, so.

• 1:06:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. I've been nose hair.

• 1:06:09Jason Bateman?

  What humor in that region?

• 1:06:10Will Arnett?

  Are you smelling your fingers?

• 1:06:11Jason Bateman?

  It's what?

• 1:06:12Will Arnett?

  Did you just pull out of fucking nose hair?

• 1:06:15Jason Bateman?

  Hey, why don't you just, by the way, I, every time I see you, you've got like these fucking antlers coming out of your nose.

• 1:06:21Will Arnett?

  What is going on the fucking?

• 1:06:23Jason Bateman?

  Get a nose hair shirmer.

• 1:06:24Will Arnett?

  MSG has gotten to you. Are you drunk on MSG from the Chinese food? What's happening?

• 1:06:29Sean Hayes?

  No, it's hanging out. I know, but you guys get, you have them too.

• 1:06:32Jason Bateman?

  Sure, but I attacked them with a nose.

• 1:06:34Will Arnett?

  We're gonna be out of here in a minute.

• 1:06:35Jason Bateman?

  Next time Scotty comes in to reapply your lip balm, have him whack a few hairs out of your nose.

• 1:06:40Sean Hayes?

  Okay, I put it on the list.

• 1:06:42Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 1:06:43Will Arnett?

  Is it, is it coming out of your ears too?

• 1:06:45Sean Hayes?

  No, I never get it out of my ears.

• 1:06:47Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 1:06:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Um, she did though mention, Laura didn't mention the word later hosen and I always want to say what, you know, what, you know, the same thing of later hosen, right? Like it's kind of this, it's kind of the same thing as saying, you know?

• 1:07:03Jason Bateman?

  Later hosen.

• 1:07:04Will Arnett?

  Well, I mean.

• 1:07:05Jason Bateman?

  Like buy me hosen.

• 1:07:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:08Jason Bateman?

  Hey, buy hosen.

• 1:07:09Sean Hayes?

  Buy hosen, that's what I said.

• 1:07:11Will Arnett?

  Or buy hoser, that's what we say.

• 1:07:13Sean Hayes?

  Oh, buy hoser.

• 1:07:15Jason Bateman?

  Oh, giver.

• 1:07:16Sean Hayes?

  Buyee hoser.

• 1:07:17Will Arnett?

  Love a giver, eh?

• 1:07:19Jason Bateman?

  Buyee.

• 1:07:22Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 1:07:29Speaker 04

  Smart. Less.

• 1:07:34Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbaco.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

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