"Kirsten Dunst"

Wake up with the TV on; it’s Kirsten Dunst. Cheer squad, burger talk, dream work, cake campaigns, and a sign that says “Smile, It’s Showtime.” Make sure to clean the CPAP machine in between… on an all-new SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:32Sean Hayes?

  Fall means cozy meals, game days, and an excuse to bring home something sweet? Whole Foods Market keeps the focus on flavor with no artificial sweeteners like sucralose, artificial colors like red dye number 40, or high-fructose corn syrup store-wide. For game day, grab made-in-house wings, frozen pizzas, and 365 brand chips and dips. Finish with limited-time pumpkin blondies, apple brown butter cookies, or chocolate bourbon pecan pie. Shop fall flavors with higher standards at Whole Foods Market.

• 2:11Sean Hayes?

  Hey, everybody has that person on their holiday list that you need to get a gift for. You just don't know what to get them. Check this out. Looking for an easy stocking stuffer for the dude in your life? One he'll actually use? Grab an Old Spice Holiday Gift Pack. It's perfect. It's an incredible deal since each ready to gift pack includes four full-size products: deodorant, body wash, body spray, and shampoo. Choose from scents like Swagger's Cedarwood Scent and Fiji's Palm Tree and Coconut Scent. Old Spice makes holiday shopping easy, which means more time for things like untangling yourself from the holiday lights. Oh, what? Get down from there. Buy Old Spice Holiday Packs for a limited time to give the gift of scent this holiday

• 2:56Sean Hayes?

  season.

• 3:05Sean Hayes?

  Jason Will and, I mean, Will, Jason and I are the only two people in glasses. Don't you usually wear glasses?

• 3:10Jason Bateman?

  I was like a billing, that was like a billing situation. You said Jason and Will, no, no, sorry, I mean, Will and Jason.

• 3:15Sean Hayes?

  No, I said-

• 3:15Jason Bateman?

  It's like Will, Will called you and said, "Listen, next time you mention my name along with Jason, you mention my name first."

• 3:21Will Arnett?

  And you also say, "And introducing Will."

• 3:23Jason Bateman?

  And introducing with the, I prefer the.

• 3:25Sean Hayes?

  You want to say Will and Jason and introducing Will?

• 3:27Will Arnett?

  Yes.

• 3:28Jason Bateman?

  No, say, yeah.

• 3:28Will Arnett?

  You're saying that you're the only two in glasses.

• 3:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 3:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, don't you, you usually wear glasses?

• 3:33Will Arnett?

  I do, I wear my reading glasses, but I'm far back enough now from my screen that I don't, so I look younger than you guys.

• 3:40Jason Bateman?

  Well, you know, you don't need to see Will today very well, because he's doing an audio show called Smartless.

• 3:46Sean Hayes?

  Smartless.

• 3:47Jason Bateman?

  And welcome to it.

• 4:07Jason Bateman?

  Let's hang on a second.

• 4:08Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:09Jason Bateman?

  Sean Hayes is back in town.

• 4:13Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:13Jason Bateman?

  No, you can't applaud for yourself. Don't start the applause, Sean. We'll start it. And then you can join it.

• 4:19Sean Hayes?

  You know, just.

• 4:20Will Arnett?

  So happy to have him back.

• 4:23Sean Hayes?

  By the way, I have to tell you something. I would go, I went out, uh, out the stage door after a couple of shows. I know, after one show. And people were doing that bit. They're like.

• 4:33Will Arnett?

  Bravo, bravo.

• 4:35Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 4:35Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 4:36Jason Bateman?

  In England.

• 4:36Sean Hayes?

  In England, yeah, yeah.

• 4:38Jason Bateman?

  You guys.

• 4:38Sean Hayes?

  Um, but, uh.

• 4:40Will Arnett?

  The bits travel sometimes.

• 4:41Sean Hayes?

  The bits travel.

• 4:41Jason Bateman?

  People are listening.

• 4:42Sean Hayes?

  But I just got back last night and I lo-, I swear to God, I weighed about 179, 180. When I left, I weigh 165. 165 pounds.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  So you lost 15 pounds while you were in.

• 4:54Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 4:54Jason Bateman?

  Well, if you lost it and you're looking for it, I can tell you where to find it.

• 4:57Will Arnett?

  How long will it take to get it back?

• 5:00Sean Hayes?

  I swear to God, for breakfast, I just had a bowl of pasta and two pieces of cake. Cause it was Scotty's birthday yesterday.

• 5:05Jason Bateman?

  You got a big race tomorrow or something?

• 5:07Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, wait, it's 9:30 in the morning right now. And you've already had.

• 5:12Jason Bateman?

  But to him, it's din din time.

• 5:13Will Arnett?

  A bowl of pasta and two pieces of cake.

• 5:17Jason Bateman?

  His belly is saying, feed me, it's dinnertime.

• 5:19Sean Hayes?

  That's right, that's exactly right.

• 5:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 5:21Sean Hayes?

  It was, but, but yeah, no, I got, I got back yesterday at like, uh, 1:00 in the afternoon and I went to bed at 8:00 PM. And I got up at 1:00 AM and then went back to bed. I got up at 7:00, so I slept like 12 hours.

• 5:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you needed it.

• 5:34Sean Hayes?

  Crazy, yeah.

• 5:35Jason Bateman?

  And did you have to clean the CPAP machine in between? You're not, you're on, you're still on that, are you not? You're still on the hose?

• 5:42Sean Hayes?

  No, I lost, I lost the weight, so I don't need it.

• 5:46Jason Bateman?

  Wait, truly?

• 5:47Sean Hayes?

  Truly.

• 5:48Jason Bateman?

  It was the weight that was.

• 5:49Sean Hayes?

  Well, it's a, it's a combination of things. I try not to sleep on my back too, but yeah.

• 5:53Will Arnett?

  Okay. And you, you have like, like nails on your back or something so that if you roll on your back, it pokes you away?

• 5:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 6:00Jason Bateman?

  That would be good. Strap on some sort of like a nail bed.

• 6:03Will Arnett?

  Well, people used to do that, they'd like, uh, they'd put like a tennis ball. They'd wrap like a tennis ball on their back.

• 6:08Jason Bateman?

  No, they didn't. What are you talking about?

• 6:09Sean Hayes?

  What do you mean, did they?

• 6:10Will Arnett?

  Look it up.

• 6:11Jason Bateman?

  Oh, do the research, you're selling to my wife.

• 6:14Sean Hayes?

  Wait, keep going.

• 6:15Will Arnett?

  Do the research.

• 6:15Sean Hayes?

  What do you mean?

• 6:16Will Arnett?

  I love research.

• 6:16Sean Hayes?

  Tennis ball.

• 6:17Will Arnett?

  People know, I did the research.

• 6:18Jason Bateman?

  I did the research, what do you mean?

• 6:19Will Arnett?

  Oh, you have access to Google?

• 6:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Jason Bateman?

  Wait, what website told you that people used to strap a tennis ball to the small of their back?

• 6:27Will Arnett?

  Uh, I read that a long time ago.

• 6:29Sean Hayes?

  Wait, to do what? To do what?

• 6:30Will Arnett?

  Somehow like put a tennis ball on the, on the, I forget how they do it, like in their shirt or whatever. So that if they roll onto their back, it's uncomfortable and then they want to roll back or it's gentle.

• 6:39Jason Bateman?

  They do it with like duct tape or something like that?

• 6:41Will Arnett?

  I get it. Or like a tensor bandage or something. I don't know.

• 6:43Jason Bateman?

  Don't say fucking tensor ever again.

• 6:47Sean Hayes?

  You know I think-

• 6:48Jason Bateman?

  Your dumb lips.

• 6:52Jason Bateman?

  Stupid.

• 6:53Will Arnett?

  Stop looking at my lips.

• 6:55Sean Hayes?

  You guys-

• 6:56Will Arnett?

  I was doing it this morning.

• 6:58Jason Bateman?

  Were you?

• 6:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah. We are professional grade. The river doesn't damn itself. This country wasn't built in a day.

• 7:05Jason Bateman?

  Not a week either.

• 7:08Sean Hayes?

  You do Santa Claus too, Will, right? You play Santa Claus?

• 7:11Jason Bateman?

  No, it's Batman.

• 7:12Sean Hayes?

  Oh, Batman.

• 7:13Will Arnett?

  You know what?

• 7:14Sean Hayes?

  Batman Santa Claus.

• 7:15Jason Bateman?

  Hey Sean, we gotta get you a nice campaign. What would you like to, uh-

• 7:18Will Arnett?

  That's a great point. What would you like to-

• 7:20Jason Bateman?

  Sling commercials for?

• 7:21Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Jason Bateman?

  Huh?

• 7:22Sean Hayes?

  Uh-

• 7:23Jason Bateman?

  Call it right now.

• 7:23Will Arnett?

  Is cake a thing?

• 7:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. General cake spot?

• 7:27Sean Hayes?

  All cake products.

• 7:28Will Arnett?

  Cake makers of America.

• 7:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 7:33Will Arnett?

  Sean, would you like to go to a cake convention? Would that be like-

• 7:36Sean Hayes?

  Wouldn't that be fun? Wouldn't that be great?

• 7:38Jason Bateman?

  How was the reintroduction to your dog? Did he give you any attitude?

• 7:41Sean Hayes?

  He comes back today in about three or four hours.

• 7:43Jason Bateman?

  Still haven't seen him. How long has it been?

• 7:45Sean Hayes?

  Three months.

• 7:46Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 7:47Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Jason Bateman?

  You think he's gonna give you a little bit of a hairy eyeball?

• 7:50Sean Hayes?

  He-

• 7:51Jason Bateman?

  Welcome back.

• 7:52Sean Hayes?

  Side eye? No, he, um, will-

• 7:55Will Arnett?

  Will he poop in the bed?

• 7:57Sean Hayes?

  No. He, he will. I'll, I'll do that. No, he'll, um-

• 8:01Will Arnett?

  Oh, Sean. Still?

• 8:04Jason Bateman?

  Welcome home.

• 8:06Sean Hayes?

  No, he, he's, he'll go, wow, it's you and then run. And just play and want a treat.

• 8:11Jason Bateman?

  Sounds like Scotty.

• 8:12Will Arnett?

  Listen, Sean, we're so happy to have you back in the fold. We missed you the other night. We talk about you all the time. We're so excited.

• 8:17Sean Hayes?

  Are we all hanging out this Sunday?

• 8:19Jason Bateman?

  Uh, yeah.

• 8:20Sean Hayes?

  What if you guys like, oh, sorry, that was it? Last Sunday was it?

• 8:23Will Arnett?

  We are Sunday, um, but in the meantime. Hollywood Bowl. Oh, well, by the way, sorry, we are going to the Hollywood Bowl. We are going to the Hollywood Bowl.

• 8:31Jason Bateman?

  November fifteenth.

• 8:32Will Arnett?

  November fifteenth, Hollywood Bowl. We got a couple of guests. We got a couple of great things going on.

• 8:36Jason Bateman?

  Super big guest. Will, you better bring the noise on your guest.

• 8:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I'm gonna bring the noise. It's gonna be a lot of fun. We're also gonna have some special guests as well. It's gonna be a lot of fun and uh.

• 8:47Jason Bateman?

  Special guests sprinkled around?

• 8:49Will Arnett?

  Oh yeah, we're gonna have, we have a lot, we're gonna have a lot of shiny moving objects.

• 8:52Jason Bateman?

  Am I gonna be told about the special guests?

• 8:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you've already been told. We've talked about it before, but I mean, you just don't listen. But anyway.

• 8:57Jason Bateman?

  Tell me your name one more time.

• 8:58Will Arnett?

  Oh god. I'm sorry. Unless I put it in the context of golf, he doesn't hear it.

• 9:03Jason Bateman?

  Jason, we already talked about it.

• 9:04Will Arnett?

  We did? Yeah, I know, we already talked about it. Okay, we're gonna welcome our guest.

• 9:08Jason Bateman?

  Is this someone that's gonna make me nervous?

• 9:10Will Arnett?

  It's really, well, I.

• 9:11Jason Bateman?

  I get nervous about the secret guest stuff.

• 9:13Will Arnett?

  And you're gonna be nervous about it because she's like a, she's a super wattage megatone. But I've had the pleasure of meeting this person a few times and I'm always a little starstruck, I gotta admit.

• 9:23Jason Bateman?

  You only meet someone once.

• 9:24Will Arnett?

  She, she was nominated for her first Golden Globe when she was twelve, okay?

• 9:29Jason Bateman?

  What?

• 9:30Will Arnett?

  And has kept it going ever since. She's been in countless fantastic movies. Once you start naming them, it's like, forget it. I don't think you do know who it is. It's not Jodie Foster. She's been in, I don't even know, I can't even, but her first, her first nomination was for Interview with a Van Hooijer.

• 9:48Jason Bateman?

  Kirsten Dunst? I just guessed it was Kirsten Dunst.

• 9:51Will Arnett?

  Jumanji, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Spider-Man movies, Civil War last year, and Roof Man, October tenth, this is.

• 9:56Jason Bateman?

  Reveal yourself.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  Hi!

• 9:58Jason Bateman?

  Hello! I fucking guessed it! By the way, that's the first time I think I forgot it right.

• 10:02Will Arnett?

  Academy Award nominee. You didn't even let me get to that. Sorry, guys. You robbed her. You robbed her of that. Hi Kirsten Dunst.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Hi, I'm so happy to be on the show.

• 10:12Jason Bateman?

  Does anyone call you KD?

• 10:13Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:14Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm a lot of names.

• 10:16Jason Bateman?

  Well, listen here, listen here KD.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, well.

• 10:19Jason Bateman?

  You're never gonna work for the government because, so I'm in Toronto.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:22Jason Bateman?

  And I'm walking by her table, you guys, and up she pops, "Hey, I'm about to be on your show." I'm like, hey.

• 10:28Will Arnett?

  Oh, is that right?

• 10:30Jason Bateman?

  That's supposed to be a secret.

• 10:31Will Arnett?

  Secret.

• 10:32Jason Bateman?

  So your government job is done.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  That's okay.

• 10:35Jason Bateman?

  But I was like, okay, I'll play like a big surprise.

• 10:38Sean Hayes?

  But you never know.

• 10:38Jason Bateman?

  Cause I never know when it's gonna happen.

• 10:40Will Arnett?

  You never know when. You never know when it's gonna happen. That's the good news. And you guys were up at TIFF because you were up there promoting Black Rabbit and

• 10:46Jason Bateman?

  Roof Man.

• 10:47Will Arnett?

  Promoting Roof Man, which I'm really excited.

• 10:49Jason Bateman?

  The following day and it was killer.

• 10:52Will Arnett?

  I hear it's amazing.

• 10:53Sean Hayes?

  I can't wait to see that movie.

• 10:54Jason Bateman?

  It's so good. It's like a perfect, like, Christmas movie. I love it. Love it, love it, love it.

• 11:01Will Arnett?

  I can't wait to see it. And we're all very excited for it. And we're really excited that you're here. It feels like finally, a little bit.

• 11:08Jason Bateman?

  Couldn't make a deal.

• 11:09Sean Hayes?

  Where are you? Where is this?

• 11:11Speaker 03

  I'm in Toluca Lake.

• 11:13Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow. You're just up there.

• 11:14Jason Bateman?

  Will and I are about to shank a couple of balls into your backyard.

• 11:18Will Arnett?

  We are about to be there in a couple hours.

• 11:21Jason Bateman?

  There's probably a better way to say that.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:23Will Arnett?

  Yeah, don't worry, we'll scrub it. So you were supposed to be on here a couple of years ago for Civil War. And I forget what happened. It was a schedule thing, blah, blah, blah.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  One of you were sick.

• 11:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah, JB for sure.

• 11:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:35Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, for sure, JB.

• 11:36Sean Hayes?

  Always battling. Wait, you were so great in that movie. That movie was really cool.

• 11:41Will Arnett?

  I know. I loved Civil War. It was so good. I know.

• 11:43Jason Bateman?

  I need to see that. I'm scared to see that. I feel like it's probably super good, super accurate. It's like the same reason, you know that movie, United 93, that Paul Greengrass?

• 11:53Will Arnett?

  Okay, sure, yeah.

• 11:54Jason Bateman?

  I'll never see that because what I hear is that it's just too good. It puts you on a plane that's plummeting from the sky for two and a half minutes.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  I did that movie that's coming out next year on a plane.

• 12:06Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 12:06Sean Hayes?

  What is it called? Really?

• 12:08Speaker 03

  The Entertainment System Is Down.

• 12:10Will Arnett?

  Oh, yes.

• 12:11Sean Hayes?

  Wait, what is that about?

• 12:12Will Arnett?

  That's the guy who did Triangle of Sadness and

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Yes, and Force Majeure. Ruben Oslen, his name is.

• 12:19Jason Bateman?

  You're in a Ruben Oslen film?

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's like, that was, yeah.

• 12:23Jason Bateman?

  You and your hubby are just in about every great movie you ever want to be in.

• 12:28Will Arnett?

  I know, I know. And your husband, Jesse Plummets, who's also a wonderful guy. I had the pleasure of meeting both of you last year or something. Just sweet, sweet, super talent. And so you did that movie, The Entertainment System Is Down, which I've just read about, which looks awesome.

• 12:44Sean Hayes?

  What is that? What is that? Like, satellites go out or something?

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Well

• 12:49Sean Hayes?

  What is that?

• 12:50Jason Bateman?

  Sound less perturbed about it.

• 12:52Sean Hayes?

  No, no, I want to know because it sounds cool.

• 12:55Will Arnett?

  What is it like? The satellites are down or something?

• 12:57Sean Hayes?

  Do I still get emails and stuff like that?

• 13:00Will Arnett?

  Can I still do Candy Crush? Does Candy Crush work? By the way, that's real.

• 13:07Sean Hayes?

  That's all I do. Wait, what, like, you don't have to, I know we're talking about some other movie, but tell me what that, that one's about, just like briefly, because I want, I love sci-fi stuff.

• 13:15Will Arnett?

  So you want to prepare.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  It's not sci-fi.

• 13:18Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah, but I mean, like doomsday stuff?

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Well, it's human doomsday, basically, on a plane.

• 13:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it's human doomsday.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  So it's called the entertainment system is down because there's no wifi, there's nothing.

• 13:29Sean Hayes?

  Right, right.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  So you have to deal with each other.

• 13:32Sean Hayes?

  Okay, that's what I want to see.

• 13:34Will Arnett?

  Sean, it's like, it's like, you know, you know, like the bar, you know, the bar on Tatooine in Star Wars?

• 13:40Sean Hayes?

  Oh, got it. I'm on board. I'm on board.

• 13:42Will Arnett?

  Okay, sorry. I just wanted to put it into context so you could understand. So, curious, walk us through a little bit, how you, I mentioned that you got your first big award nomination. It was for Golden Globe when you were 12 years old. How trippy was that, I mean, for a 12-year-old?

• 14:02Speaker 03

  I don't think I really realized, like, you know what, I was working on Jumanji and everyone's like, "You're gonna win, you're gonna win." And so, don't tell a little girl that, because I didn't win. And then I was crying on, Jane Seymour was next to me, like, for Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, and I was just, like, crying under the table, pretty much.

• 14:24Sean Hayes?

  On the, at the, at the table, on NBC, in front of all the, and everyone's all banged up on champagne. And there's a little girl there looking for someone to hold. Wow.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:35Sean Hayes?

  Did you have a speech all lined up and everything?

• 14:37Speaker 03

  I, I don't remember if I did, but...

• 14:40Sean Hayes?

  But hey, better to, better to kind of learn that at a young age, that, you know, you can't trust the outcome of stuff, you know, and later.

• 14:48Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, did, did it help kind of right-size all of that stuff eventually?

• 14:55Speaker 03

  You know, it's like, award stuff doesn't, like, you know, we all know, like, the good stuff we all love usually doesn't get nominated or doesn't win. It's like, so really, all you have is the experience of making it. That's all you have. Right.

• 15:11Jason Bateman?

  It's also, it's so odd, isn't it, that like, you people, you're not, like, the competition of it all, no one's playing the same character. It's like, you know, Hundred Yard Dash, you know, everyone's going the same distance, who gets there quicker. It's pretty clear.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  I had to audition for the movie on the plane, for the entertainment system is down.

• 15:31Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you did?

• 15:32Speaker 03

  Yes, and that feeling, I hadn't been that excited to get a role since Interview with the Vampire. So like, to me, auditioning and getting something is like, that is crazy.

• 15:43Jason Bateman?

  When was the last time you auditioned, before the Ruben Ossen thing?

• 15:46Speaker 03

  I auditioned for this movie with Jeff Nichols, the director Jeff Nichols, called Midnight Special.

• 15:51Jason Bateman?

  The great, the great Jeff Nichols. That was a great movie, Midnight Special.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:55Jason Bateman?

  Love that movie. So, but wait, so that was like, 10 years ago?

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, it had been a minute. I don't think, yeah, that was the last time I auditioned.

• 16:03Jason Bateman?

  Were you nervous, auditioning again? I would be terrified.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  I did a self-tape. I did it all by myself. Yeah, it is easier.

• 16:10Will Arnett?

  The new world.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  It was, yeah, it was all, it was all improv. He gave me an improv. And, yeah, I just, you know, put my iPhone, I just taped it on my iPhone and pretended.

• 16:23Jason Bateman?

  And if you sucked, you just get to do it again.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did two takes. I felt, I was like, and I didn't watch it, and I just sent it.

• 16:30Jason Bateman?

  Did you ask Jesse to look at it?

• 16:32Speaker 03

  No, he was away, uh, so no one was there.

• 16:36Jason Bateman?

  So you were just all by yourself? You just, no way. And what, so what do you think he was looking for? Like, do you mind saying what the improv was?

• 16:42Speaker 03

  No, not at all. I, my improv was a, uh, two people are sitting bored next, next to each other on a plane. He's asleep with our son. And I am bored and look at his phone. And I discover that he's been cheating on me. So it's like, you know, hanging out on the plane, bored. Do the whole like face recognition thing.

• 17:07Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  And.

• 17:08Jason Bateman?

  Wait, now, so that's all your, your, that's all your idea?

• 17:11Speaker 03

  No, no, this is all he wanted me to do this vibe, basically, the director. And so then I see a memory comes up on the iPhone. That is like to Cotton Eye Joe. That song.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  And it's supposed to be like him cheating with a bunch of other women.

• 17:29Will Arnett?

  Where did you come from? Where did you go?

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 17:32Will Arnett?

  You sure?

• 17:32Speaker 03

  So then I see that he's been cheating on me and I wake him up. But at first I have to go through, you know, all the emotions and shit.

• 17:39Jason Bateman?

  And since there was no one else in the improv with you, as soon as you wake him up and you start to confront him, it's over.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  It's over. I was like, you need to wake up. And then I just, I just got pissed and I got up and shut off my phone.

• 17:50Jason Bateman?

  Oh, I love it.

• 17:51Sean Hayes?

  That's great. I mean, it's wild to do a self tape of an improv by yourself.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  I know.

• 17:56Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. That's, that's so weird.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  I did put Jesse's camera like that, cause he's always shooting film of our family. So I, I put his camera nearby. So I had like a, I don't know, a symbol. This is real actery right now. Of, of him, of something.

• 18:13Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 18:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:15Sean Hayes?

  How long have you guys been married?

• 18:17Speaker 03

  Oh God, I don't even know. We've been together for about 10 years. We got married after kids.

• 18:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 18:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  I, three years, maybe?

• 18:26Sean Hayes?

  Oh, okay, got it.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:27Sean Hayes?

  That's great.

• 18:28Will Arnett?

  Wait, talk a little bit, a little bit about, uh, so doing that audition, uh, for that movie by yourself, the, the nightmare self tape improv, which is bizarre. But, but it'd probably been a minute since you, you said you auditioned for another film, but, but how different was when you first started auditioning when you were a kid? Basically.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:47Will Arnett?

  And JB, you had that experience too, auditioning a lot when you were a kid, right?

• 18:50Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:51Will Arnett?

  And, and what that, and what that process was like back then, what it meant to you back then, did you feel, were the stakes high? Or was it just kind of like after school, go do it and then go do your thing?

• 19:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, what, yeah, what is that like? Do you put it, do you put a big thing on it? What do you think, Kirsten?

• 19:07Speaker 03

  I did. I did because, well, like, okay, for, for, we were at the Oakwood Apartments.

• 19:12Sean Hayes?

  Oh, my God.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  And I was going to normal schools.

• 19:16Sean Hayes?

  For my sister, Oakwood Apartments, for Tracy, Oakwood Apartments is a, is a complex where a lot of actors would stay. While they audition.

• 19:23Will Arnett?

  Because you can rent it monthly.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 19:25Will Arnett?

  You can come out for pilot season. I'd come out for pilot season, a bunch of years in a row and stayed there.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Same.

• 19:29Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Oh, same. Where were you, where were you coming from?

• 19:32Speaker 03

  I'm from New Jersey.

• 19:33Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:35Will Arnett?

  All right.

• 19:35Sean Hayes?

  You guys cut a carpool.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we would come out, yeah.

• 19:37Will Arnett?

  We probably, remember it used to have that sign on the, when you, when you left the, the one on Barham, right?

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:42Will Arnett?

  So, and the back gate one had a, as you were waiting for the gate to open, there was a little sign on the gate as it moved that said, "Smile, it's showtime."

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Oh, God, I don't.

• 19:50Will Arnett?

  And I remember thinking like, "How soon do you want me to take my own life?"

• 19:57Will Arnett?

  So depressing, not getting any jobs.

• 19:58Sean Hayes?

  Go get them.

• 19:59Will Arnett?

  Oh, God, anyway, anyway, so, so you come out, you're.

• 20:02Sean Hayes?

  So, so you're Oakwood?

• 20:03Will Arnett?

  You're at Oakwood with your.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  I'm at Oakwood, my mom, my brother and my grandma.

• 20:08Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Uh, but I would go to normal school. I went to Laurel Hall in the Valley.

• 20:12Sean Hayes?

  Sure.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Where I met my best friend, so. So I had like a normal-ish life because I never was home tutored or anything.

• 20:20Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Um, but yeah, auditioning was, when it was a big role, like I remember this, it was like, I auditioned for Interview with the Vampire, auditioned for The Secret Garden, and I didn't get The Secret Garden, and I remember sobbing about that.

• 20:34Sean Hayes?

  Wow. But now, but was it, did it get more stressful as you got older?

• 20:41Speaker 03

  No, because, I think because I got success from Interview, I didn't have to audition for a long time. Like, I auditioned for Little Women, but it wasn't frequent enough to traumatize me. I auditioned for Spider-Man was the big next one that I auditioned for.

• 20:56Sean Hayes?

  Uh-huh. Did you get it?

• 20:58Speaker 03

  I did.

• 21:00Will Arnett?

  Sean, he's jet lagged. Forget it, he's just cheeky. Even though he's not in England anymore, he's still cheeky. JB, did you ever, I mean this honestly, did you ever sob or have that thing, that pressure? I remember you talking about the pressure of getting a job because it was the family business.

• 21:19Jason Bateman?

  I never cried, but what was worse was that I'd be so paralyzed with fear on the way to auditions when I got to be in my twenties because I literally, I needed the employment. I needed, you know, it wasn't just like fun when I was like a little kid and I get to skip school and all that stuff. And then it became like, you know, well, this is, this is how, this is my occupation, is how I.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  Did you support your family, Jason?

• 21:43Jason Bateman?

  I contributed for sure, yeah.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:46Will Arnett?

  Did you, Kirsten?

• 21:47Speaker 03

  I didn't have to. It started out as like, ah, fun, college money, whatever. And then my parents got divorced and then it was a little like, well, you're making the most money, so. My mom lives in my back house, okay?

• 22:01Sean Hayes?

  Aw, that's sweet.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm a good daughter.

• 22:04Sean Hayes?

  That's good, that is sweet, yeah. I love that.

• 22:07Jason Bateman?

  Very, very cute.

• 22:10Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 22:14Sean Hayes?

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• 22:56Sean Hayes?

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• 23:08Sean Hayes?

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• 23:51Sean Hayes?

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• 24:11Sean Hayes?

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• 25:00Sean Hayes?

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• 25:44Sean Hayes?

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• 26:10Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 26:13Sean Hayes?

  All right, so you're in Toluca Lake. What's going on? Is Jesse in town? Or are you? You guys must take turns single parenting.

• 26:22Will Arnett?

  I was gonna get into that, yeah. It's tough.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's so hard. I had a real moment last night. I just went to my friend's house. I was like, I can't parent alone tonight. I just can't do it.

• 26:32Sean Hayes?

  Just leave a bunch of milk and crackers out and...

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Well, I took them with me.

• 26:36Sean Hayes?

  Oh, gotcha.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  No, no, I just brought them all.

• 26:39Will Arnett?

  JB, what do you think she's doing over there, man?

• 26:41Sean Hayes?

  That's how I grew up.

• 26:42Will Arnett?

  Wait, how many kids? How many kids and how old?

• 26:44Speaker 03

  I have two boys, but like literally I'm getting ready for this and I get this sign. "I need you." Him sad, me with the door shut.

• 26:56Will Arnett?

  Look at that drawing. That's so sweet. Sean's dog drew a similar picture.

• 27:03Jason Bateman?

  Wait, did he make that? So, so listener, this is, this is a picture of Kirsten inside one room with the door closed and then her son on the outside.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Upset.

• 27:11Jason Bateman?

  Upset. And so did he slide that under the door?

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 27:15Jason Bateman?

  No. Mommy come out.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I am, I let them sleep in bed with you and Jesse's not here. Like, I am like, actually, you know who we watch well is the Lego Masters show.

• 27:28Will Arnett?

  Nice.

• 27:28Jason Bateman?

  Oh, puts you right out, right? Yeah, no, I use that too.

• 27:37Will Arnett?

  It's like a sugar crash.

• 27:40Will Arnett?

  It's calming. It's a fun thing to watch with kids, isn't it? It's a very fun family show.

• 27:44Jason Bateman?

  So, so are you guys all, so one of you is pretty much, is it safe to say, always working? And that's why you have to just?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  We had the summer together. No, we had the summer together. It's like whoever's up next, like whatever hap- like, we're still trying to figure it out, you know? But I'm, it's really hard. It's really hard. So, um, yeah, they're, they're four and seven, so it's like, and they're two boys. It's a lot.

• 28:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Yeah, I, I, I've been there, been there and done that.

• 28:14Jason Bateman?

  Have you thought about, and you can shut us up anytime we're getting too personal. Have you thought about the?

• 28:18Will Arnett?

  Shut up. I didn't know that was an option. Fucking shut up.

• 28:25Will Arnett?

  This is the fucking greatest day on the podcast. Shut the fuck up.

• 28:28Jason Bateman?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 28:31Jason Bateman?

  The possible convenience of homeschooling? You know, where you guys just drag them around?

• 28:36Speaker 03

  I don't want my kids to be weird.

• 28:37Jason Bateman?

  I know. Yeah. Exactly. They need that social interaction probably, right?

• 28:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 28:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:44Jason Bateman?

  I know plenty of parents that have done it successfully, so who are we to judge? But it, I definitely benefited from getting, getting away from adults and into school and being with kids when I wasn't working. It was great.

• 28:57Will Arnett?

  Yeah. And then just, you pick up, the great news was the bus that picked you up was the school.

• 29:04Will Arnett?

  Turns out, Jason went to school on a bus and he didn't drop out of high school. He was dropped off from high school.

• 29:11Jason Bateman?

  It is true. It's gonna be a fun chapter in the book one day. Oh, God.

• 29:16Will Arnett?

  Oh, here come the tears. Don't you cry, JB.

• 29:18Jason Bateman?

  I'm not crying, you're crying.

• 29:22Will Arnett?

  So you but so and you kind of mentioned you didn't really have to audition anymore again. You did you kind of did for Little Women, but then you just started doing and you mentioned you get nominated, I guess, when you're doing Jumanji, which was a huge hit.

• 29:34Jason Bateman?

  Just massive, yeah.

• 29:35Will Arnett?

  And you just you kind of went on this run of like just being in these big, massive movies and you're young.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:41Will Arnett?

  So you're like, oh, well, this is my reality.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  It wasn't, though. Like, I was almost embarrassed.

• 29:48Will Arnett?

  Really?

• 29:48Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 29:49Speaker 03

  I think so. And I didn't really, I like had a blocker up, I think, that didn't compute what what I was doing. Plus, what am I doing? I'm going to school. I have my best friend. We're in our own world. Like, I really lived in a very little, like, school bubble, you know? So I would do my thing and then...

• 30:08Jason Bateman?

  But didn't it get weird, like, on the weekends and you go to your school parties and all the kids at the party and you're just trying to, you just feel like you're just one of the kids at the weekend party?

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:19Jason Bateman?

  And then like, oh, hey, that's that girl from the movie I saw last week. Like, wasn't that...

• 30:24Speaker 03

  They didn't do that to me.

• 30:25Will Arnett?

  No?

• 30:26Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 30:26Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 30:27Jason Bateman?

  Come on, you were pretty famous, though.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't know.

• 30:30Jason Bateman?

  At a very early age.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  They didn't do that to me at school.

• 30:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  I don't, maybe it was like a, I was very normal. I didn't come into school like, hey, look at me, you know?

• 30:40Jason Bateman?

  No, no.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  I was embarrassed, so...

• 30:42Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 30:42Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, like, talk to me about that. What do you mean embarrassed? Like, embarrassed because of the attention that you got that was a byproduct of the movie that you weren't looking for?

• 30:53Speaker 03

  I think I just didn't want to be singled out at school as anything other than another student there.

• 30:58Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  And high school, too. Like, I didn't want anyone to call me out or be like, so I underplayed myself.

• 31:04Will Arnett?

  Were you already through high school when you did Bring It On?

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Uh, it was senior year, the summer before senior year.

• 31:11Jason Bateman?

  I love that movie so much.

• 31:12Will Arnett?

  Like, the ultimate cheerleading, like, high school movie, too, of all time.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:17Will Arnett?

  And were people...

• 31:17Speaker 03

  But we didn't know that at the time.

• 31:19Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  That was like a little... San Diego Who Cares movie that Universal, you know, it wasn't like, no one knew that that would be.

• 31:26Jason Bateman?

  Do you still remember some of the cheers?

• 31:27Speaker 03

  You know I do.

• 31:31Jason Bateman?

  Do you ever do it sometimes ironically on set when it's, you're trying to ramp up the, the crew and the cast?

• 31:35Sean Hayes?

  Come on, I would.

• 31:37Jason Bateman?

  Night shoot and it's time to keep going. Cut, ready, okay.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  I did it for my sons yesterday because we went to this 25th anniversary. Well, we went to this 25th anniversary, bring it on thing on Sunday night.

• 31:50Sean Hayes?

  No way.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  And they had good pop ups. So I brought some pop ups home and I was like doing cheers for them and spelling their names. That's the only show. That's, those are the only people that are gonna get that.

• 32:00Sean Hayes?

  Did they like it?

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Yes. My son was like looking at me like I was like, whoa, like a golden goddess. I didn't know you could do this, mom.

• 32:09Sean Hayes?

  You don't want him to like it too much.

• 32:15Jason Bateman?

  Cheer squad.

• 32:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I actually, a mom recruited me to start a cheer squad at the school.

• 32:22Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 32:23Sean Hayes?

  Hmm. Oh, wow.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I'm gonna do it. I'll do it. Yeah.

• 32:27Sean Hayes?

  I love that you're gonna do that.

• 32:29Jason Bateman?

  I do love that show, that show Cheer on, uh, on Netflix.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. That's great. Until it got dark.

• 32:35Sean Hayes?

  I know. I know. Is it? Is it dark? I don't, what is it?

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Well, it got dark.

• 32:39Sean Hayes?

  A guy got arrested for bad things.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:42Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 32:42Sean Hayes?

  Oh, God.

• 32:42Jason Bateman?

  Wait, I didn't see that one.

• 32:44Sean Hayes?

  Well, no, no.

• 32:44Jason Bateman?

  Did that happen on the show or, or away from it?

• 32:46Sean Hayes?

  Off the show, off the show, yeah.

• 32:47Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah, I got it. Wait, Shana, did you, did you ever experiment with Cheer Squad?

• 32:52Sean Hayes?

  No, but my sister, uh, was a cheerleader.

• 32:54Jason Bateman?

  What's your sister's name?

• 32:55Sean Hayes?

  Her name is Tracy.

• 32:56Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 32:57Sean Hayes?

  And she.

• 32:57Jason Bateman?

  With an E Y or is it just Y?

• 32:59Sean Hayes?

  An E Y, yeah.

• 33:00Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 33:00Sean Hayes?

  And she, uh.

• 33:01Jason Bateman?

  Where she live?

• 33:02Sean Hayes?

  She lives in Wisconsin.

• 33:03Jason Bateman?

  Does she know much about the biz?

• 33:05Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, no. Do you have to explain stuff to her ever? Yeah, anytime you guys can think about it, just make sure. Continuing. And so she would, she would have, um, she would do cheer, cheerleading things and she would do pomp, she would do batons. Oh, wait, do I have the photo? No. And, uh, uh.

• 33:18Jason Bateman?

  I thought you were gonna grab a baton.

• 33:19Sean Hayes?

  There's a picture of me and her.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  That's what I bought.

• 33:22Sean Hayes?

  I'm so excited.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:23Sean Hayes?

  So I learned how to do the baton at a young age.

• 33:25Jason Bateman?

  What is the, what is the little thing, uh, with the dude in front of the band, the marching band? It's not.

• 33:30Sean Hayes?

  The stick?

• 33:31Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. So it's got a, it's got a pointy stick and then a little ball at the top. Is that also a baton or just?

• 33:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 33:36Jason Bateman?

  Or like a band, band leader stick?

• 33:38Sean Hayes?

  Or staff, you know, staff. Yeah, something like that. Anyway, Kirsten, so, uh.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  I'm happy chilling.

• 33:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you don't get to talk on this show.

• 33:47Sean Hayes?

  I love it. Wait, so tell me, wait, because like Will said, you've done so many gigantic movies. Is there, I know you don't want to, they're all important to you and all of your work is important.

• 33:58Will Arnett?

  But they're all different, like sort of different styles that you really bounce around. You can't be pegged to one thing like you did, you've had like, it almost feels like different phases. Well, they're just different roles, I guess that's what it is.

• 34:09Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but is there one where you're just like, you know what? That was the greatest experience of my whole career so far.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 34:18Sean Hayes?

  And you just thought like, there's no way it can get better than that.

• 34:22Will Arnett?

  Not, not result necessarily, but just.

• 34:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, no, the experience, the experience.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  Huh, I don't know, because like movies aren't fun to make, you know what I mean?

• 34:31Sean Hayes?

  Right, right.

• 34:32Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  So, but, oh god, I, I really liked.

• 34:37Jason Bateman?

  He'll take, he'll take the, he'll take the worst experience.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  I, I liked making Melancholia. I don't, it was like, it was like this little isolated, it felt like we were doing a play. We all lived in this small town in Sweden in this hotel slash housing place. And it was, it was just like cozy and.

• 34:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Really calm and so, when I went like comforting, I don't know, it was just, I just felt like, oh, this is what it could be like.

• 35:09Jason Bateman?

  Lars von Troyer?

• 35:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:12Sean Hayes?

  Now then you have a fan, go ahead.

• 35:14Jason Bateman?

  Well, I, I'm going to ask a dumb question, surprise. When you, I'm not sure about going to Sweden to know our way to Finland.

• 35:24Sean Hayes?

  Why?

• 35:25Jason Bateman?

  Because of the light.

• 35:27Will Arnett?

  Can't wait for this.

• 35:28Jason Bateman?

  I feel like I'm getting very sad because if I, if I'm there during the time of the year, when the sun only comes up for a couple of hours, I'm going to feel like.

• 35:36Will Arnett?

  You mean go in winter, you mean? They call, they call it winter.

• 35:38Jason Bateman?

  Is it winter? I can't, I'm sure I can do it.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  No, it's very, we were there in the summer, so we had a beautiful Swedish summer.

• 35:45Jason Bateman?

  Almost worse, almost worse, right? Because there's, because the sun never goes down.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  It did.

• 35:50Will Arnett?

  It's weird. I went one time, I went, I went one time early July and I flew from here. And I landed there, they had crazy jet lag and then woke up at 4 a.m. for a phone, a phone call came through. And it was, and I step outside and it's blaring sun and it's like 5 to 4 a.m. And it felt like it was noon and I was like, what the fuck? Where am I? It was so discombobulating.

• 36:13Jason Bateman?

  I feel bad. I would feel bad.

• 36:14Sean Hayes?

  I mean, because of that, Kirsten, because you have a family now and Jesse works and it's, it's this very artistic, you know? You're, you're just around it all the time and the schedules. Do you still enjoy going to another country for three, four, five, six months, whatever it is, to, to work? I mean, is that, that, those experiences, do they still fill you up?

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Uh, well, I did enjoy Budapest. Let's just put it that way. I really did not. Well, our son, we all went as a family. We enrolled them in the international school there.

• 36:47Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Sean Hayes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  And then my son had appendicitis and emergency surgery and then recovered for a week and then had a blockage. So basically, my time in Budapest was horrible. It was horrible. It was horrible.

• 37:03Jason Bateman?

  That's so young to have an appendicitis. Usually it takes years to fill that thing up.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  I don't know. I was like, everyone's like, drink the water there. So I was like, yeah, the water's great. So now I'm freaking out like, was it the water? I don't know.

• 37:14Will Arnett?

  Wait, what movie was that on?

• 37:16Speaker 03

  That was on the airplane movie.

• 37:18Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that you just did.

• 37:19Will Arnett?

  Oh, no shit. No shit.

• 37:21Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  So this first part, I mean, everyone's had a shit year, it seems like. But like, the first part of, the first part of our year was pretty bad.

• 37:31Jason Bateman?

  So, but, but to Sean's question, like, do you, um, are you, are you a big nester? Like, wouldn't like, now that you're back home, do you love just like not going anywhere?

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't go anywhere.

• 37:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  I, I stay in my radius of school drop-off and neighborhood restaurants. I don't, I don't leave the valley.

• 37:49Sean Hayes?

  It's nice, isn't it?

• 37:50Jason Bateman?

  You go in there to that Bob's Big Boy? You get in there?

• 37:52Sean Hayes?

  Oh, I love that place.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  I like the car nights, but I never want to eat there.

• 37:57Sean Hayes?

  Bob's Big Boy, ooh, I love it.

• 37:59Will Arnett?

  Sean, cool it, man.

• 38:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 38:01Will Arnett?

  Okay, it's not going anywhere.

• 38:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, we're not, we're not gonna be done with this for another 20 minutes.

• 38:05Will Arnett?

  Scotty, start the car!

• 38:06Sean Hayes?

  I was, I was, I was in London just yesterday, actually. What's today? Tuesday? Yeah, and, um, and I just finished, did my last show. I did a play there, Kirsten, and it was, uh...

• 38:19Will Arnett?

  Finally, a final good night, a final good night for us.

• 38:26Jason Bateman?

  And every Sunday, we would go to Five Guys, right? The burger place.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:30Jason Bateman?

  And so Will FaceTimed me and Scotty on our walk to Five Guys. And he goes, where are you going? I go, he goes, are you on your way to Five Guys to get a burger? I go, yeah. He goes, by the look of you both, you're gonna walk out of there, you're gonna walk out of there looking like ten guys or something.

• 38:44Will Arnett?

  More like ten guys, am I, am I right? Am I right? Is this thing?

• 38:47Jason Bateman?

  It's so stupid. But I love, I love the, I love those old burger joints like Bob's Big Boy and stuff. And there's a lot of them in the valley, like old, like pizza places in the valley that are really great.

• 38:58Will Arnett?

  I'm gonna say something controversial.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  There's Chili John's too. Have you been to Chili John's? That place is a real relic. It's on.

• 39:03Jason Bateman?

  Oh wait, right across the street from it?

• 39:05Will Arnett?

  Riverside and Coldwater, is that the place?

• 39:07Speaker 03

  No, Chili John's is on, is it Magnolia or Burbank? I think it's Burbank. And it's very cool, old school.

• 39:14Jason Bateman?

  Have you guys done Apple Pan? You must have done Apple Pan.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Yes, of course. But that's over the hill.

• 39:17Will Arnett?

  Yeah, Apple Pan's up there.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  That's far.

• 39:20Will Arnett?

  I'm gonna say something controversial. There are burger places that everybody talks about that are only, that I just think are really overrated.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Like?

• 39:27Will Arnett?

  Like. Well, I don't wanna, I don't wanna name it. I wanna.

• 39:30Speaker 03

  In-N-Out?

• 39:31Will Arnett?

  I wanna raise people's boats, but I'm not gonna name people, things that I don't like by name.

• 39:34Jason Bateman?

  That's super, super courageous.

• 39:40Jason Bateman?

  Well, I will, you know, I will say our friend on Sunday makes a burger.

• 39:44Will Arnett?

  Yes, the best.

• 39:45Jason Bateman?

  Very much on par with In-N-Out.

• 39:47Will Arnett?

  Oh my god.

• 39:48Jason Bateman?

  It is.

• 39:48Will Arnett?

  I would say better.

• 39:50Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 39:51Will Arnett?

  I would say better.

• 39:52Jason Bateman?

  I would be with you.

• 39:53Will Arnett?

  I would say better.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 39:54Will Arnett?

  It's really delicious.

• 39:56Jason Bateman?

  If you could, let's go around the horn here. If you could have only one classic junk food as your final meal, would it be like burger? Would it be pizza? Would it be grilled cheese?

• 40:09Will Arnett?

  That's a great question.

• 40:10Jason Bateman?

  I will go first. I think it's gonna be pizza and I'm gonna have a side of well-done fries.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 40:15Will Arnett?

  Oh yeah.

• 40:16Jason Bateman?

  I would do, I probably, yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, you go. No, you go, Sean.

• 40:19Will Arnett?

  I would spaghetti.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 40:21Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 40:21Speaker 03

  But that's not junk food.

• 40:24Jason Bateman?

  It's so Sean Hayes. You know, this guy, can I have some ice cream? Yeah, what flavor? Vanilla.

• 40:31Jason Bateman?

  That's it. That's his goat. He loves it so much.

• 40:34Sean Hayes?

  Well, you know why. Mother's milk. It's mother's milk.

• 40:38Will Arnett?

  Kirsten, what would you have? What would be your ultimate junk food?

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Well, junk food, I mean...

• 40:42Sean Hayes?

  Like pizza, burger.

• 40:43Jason Bateman?

  Comfort food. It could be grilled cheese.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  I think I honestly, I might do In-N-Out.

• 40:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Cheeseburger with a chocolate shake.

• 40:51Jason Bateman?

  Just a single?

• 40:52Speaker 03

  Well, cheeseburger, extra spread, no onions is my vibe.

• 40:56Jason Bateman?

  So not the double double?

• 40:57Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:58Jason Bateman?

  Extra spread, though. I like your style. You're not doing the spread on the side? You want them to slather it right on?

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, good for you. You gotta eat it quick before the bun gets soggy.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's why I turn the air conditioning off when I get takeout for home. I'm like, AC off. This shit, it better be rolled up in the bag real tight. I hate when people come home with an open box of In-N-Out.

• 41:18Sean Hayes?

  I do too. I do too. What's the point?

• 41:20Jason Bateman?

  AC off because you want to keep your burger hot?

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:23Jason Bateman?

  God, I love you. That is the extra level right there.

• 41:26Will Arnett?

  I'm with you on that.

• 41:27Sean Hayes?

  Wait, can I go back to work for a second?

• 41:28Jason Bateman?

  No, wait. Arnett hasn't declared.

• 41:30Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah. Sorry.

• 41:30Will Arnett?

  I'd go pizza too. I'd go pizza and chocolate shake.

• 41:34Jason Bateman?

  And what kind of pizza is it?

• 41:36Will Arnett?

  It would probably be just a, more than likely, just a cheese pizza.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:41Will Arnett?

  Maybe with some meat on it. Maybe sausage. Sausage.

• 41:45Jason Bateman?

  Some nice meats.

• 41:46Will Arnett?

  Some sausage.

• 41:47Jason Bateman?

  I wish there was sausage and some onions. Is that a crispy or is that kind of a soft?

• 41:51Will Arnett?

  No, it's gotta have, it's gotta have a sort of a crispy, crispy undercarriage, as they say.

• 41:56Jason Bateman?

  Black bottom.

• 41:57Will Arnett?

  Not necessarily, not necessarily black bottom, but I just gotta have some crispy to it. And I, and I, when I see people eat pizza and put the crust to the side and they don't eat the crust, I'm like, are you, are you a communist? What are you doing?

• 42:12Sean Hayes?

  In college, we used, I used to eat the pizza and then save the crust and dip it in peanut butter after.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  Ew.

• 42:17Jason Bateman?

  God, you shithead.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Peanut butter?

• 42:19Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, like, because it was just bread.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  I mean, ranch is like...

• 42:21Will Arnett?

  Sean, I mean this with all, with all respect, you fat fuck.

• 42:29Sean Hayes?

  Wait, I want to ask more work stuff. It's Kirsten Dunst.

• 42:32Will Arnett?

  I know, I know. Me too. I want to ask, I want to ask.

• 42:35Sean Hayes?

  I want to know, do you have any kind of routine things that you do before a shoot, after a shoot, during a shoot, or something that you're consistent about that like, you know, I'm about to start a job, so this is how this is gonna go. I'm gonna make sure I do blank, blank, blank.

• 42:48Jason Bateman?

  Practicing your faces or?

• 42:51Speaker 03

  In the mirror.

• 42:52Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 42:53Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  Um, anything I do.

• 42:55Jason Bateman?

  Are you big on research? Do you, are you big on like getting in, studying your character and figuring out what they have in their pockets and all that actor stuff?

• 43:05Will Arnett?

  They have a secret. My characters have a secret.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  I, uh, what do I do? I do dream work. That's my main thing I do.

• 43:13Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah, I like that.

• 43:14Sean Hayes?

  What's that?

• 43:14Will Arnett?

  I like that.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:15Sean Hayes?

  What is dream work?

• 43:16Will Arnett?

  I just did the first time.

• 43:17Speaker 03

  You did?

• 43:18Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:19Jason Bateman?

  Is that the company that was started by David Gaffin?

• 43:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:22Will Arnett?

  Yes, you're on the right. No, no, no.

• 43:24Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Kirsten, what is, I don't know what dream work is.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  So, there's a couple acting coaches, you could call them, but they're more than that. But my lady is someone who's done it. Her mom did it too, and you basically ask your self questions and write yourself a note at night of what you want to find out about your character, and then whatever you dream, you write it down and you discuss it with her and implement it into.

• 43:50Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  The script.

• 43:52Sean Hayes?

  That's really cool. I love that.

• 43:53Jason Bateman?

  But, but regardless of whether the dream had anything to do with the question or your, or your character, it's just whatever your dream scenario was, you kind of incorporated into your character's backstory.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  Well, you're, you're writing yourself a specific note at night. So, you're, you're asking your unconscious to give you something that you can implement. Yeah.

• 44:15Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then when you're done with the movie, you write yourself a note, "I'm done with this character, blah, blah, blah," and sign out.

• 44:22Sean Hayes?

  Ah. There's your routine. There's your thing that you do. Yeah.

• 44:26Jason Bateman?

  That's pretty rad.

• 44:26Sean Hayes?

  That is pretty cool.

• 44:29Jason Bateman?

  We'll be right back.

• 44:32Sean Hayes?

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• 45:15Sean Hayes?

  That's A-L-T-R-A, running.com/smartless and code SMARTLESS10 for 10% off your first purchase. Have an HSA or FSA? Stack that discount with TruMed. Qualified customers save an average of 30%. Check your eligibility at trumed.com/ultra.

• 45:36Sean Hayes?

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• 46:21Sean Hayes?

  Red Velvet, and Peanut Butter Mousse. I wish I could have each one of those right now. After all, great nutrition only works if you actually want to keep eating it, right? Order Stars and Honey Protein Bars at starsandhoney.com or find them at Target stores nationwide. That's starsandhoney.com or pick up a box on your next Target shopping trip.

• 46:44Sean Hayes?

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• 47:29Sean Hayes?

  season.

• 47:34Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 47:37Jason Bateman?

  Are you good at remembering lines?

• 47:40Speaker 03

  I'm getting worse.

• 47:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 47:42Speaker 03

  I'm so bad.

• 47:43Jason Bateman?

  It's coming for all of us.

• 47:45Sean Hayes?

  Really?

• 47:46Speaker 03

  I'm getting so bad that if I read a script and the person talks a lot, I'm like, I don't know if I can do this.

• 47:53Jason Bateman?

  So if somebody brought you a one-woman show on Broadway?

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Oh, hell, no. Hell, no. No, no.

• 47:59Jason Bateman?

  Our buddy John Krasinski just did one. He knocked me out. My god, is that awesome? Just fucking unreal. It looks like, and Billy Crudup's done it a bunch of times and...

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're both men, see? Women multitask.

• 48:12Jason Bateman?

  Laura Linney's done it a few times. She's nailed it. You can do it.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  I don't know. It's weird to me. I don't like the idea of doing a play.

• 48:19Will Arnett?

  It's a lot of work. Let's be honest, it's a lot of work, right, Sean? I mean, Sean, Sean. I know. Sean just came off basically two and a half years of doing this play.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  That sounds so tiring to me.

• 48:30Sean Hayes?

  I did it over 200 times.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Are you okay?

• 48:32Jason Bateman?

  You got a Tony out of it. Got a Tony. I mean, at least you got the Tony.

• 48:36Sean Hayes?

  I mean, I know what you mean, Kirsten. It is, you don't do it for the financial, because theater doesn't pay. But you do it because of a thing inside as an actor that you just wouldn't otherwise get the opportunity, maybe, or you get that character that you've always wanted to play out of you. So you're like, great, I did that, and now it's, that's done, and now I can go do maybe another character?

• 49:01Speaker 03

  Do you ever think about the audience judging you, though? Like, oh, that person's just coming to see the girl from Spider-Man. You know what I mean? Like, I feel a little weird.

• 49:10Sean Hayes?

  The girl from Spider-Man. That's the name of the play.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  I just, I just, I don't know. It just, maybe when I'm older, I'll like it. Listen, one of the only live things I did with Centurion Live once, and I had the best time of my life. But I grew up watching that show, like, literally one of the best times of my life.

• 49:27Will Arnett?

  How, how was that experience?

• 49:29Speaker 03

  I, I had one of the best times of my life.

• 49:32Will Arnett?

  No, but I mean, like, specifically, like, what was the, what was, yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Well, I grew up watching the show, as do my kids now. They'll call out people and be like, you know, will you put on the Bill Hader puppet sketch for me, you know, like, I show them Chris Farley with the Colombian coffee, you know, the decaf Colombian coffee freak.

• 49:52Jason Bateman?

  Wait, I gotta see that.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  It's one of the funniest sketches ever. We used to call our youngest, well, he's baby Chris Farley, but, um, I don't know where I'm going with this.

• 50:01Jason Bateman?

  You were talking about the specifics of what you loved about the week on SNL.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  So I was, when I was younger, I, I played Dana Carvey's grandchild when he was George Bush, on the couch, like, eating popcorn as an extra, and I was with-

• 50:15Will Arnett?

  No way!

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Victor, uh, Victoria-

• 50:18Sean Hayes?

  Jack Jackson.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, thank you, in one of her spoof commercials too. So, it's like such a legacy thing for my family.

• 50:25Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it felt, yeah.

• 50:26Jason Bateman?

  Did they show that clip when you hosted?

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, they did.

• 50:28Jason Bateman?

  No way. Oh, that's cool.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  And it's in the, when you walk, like, in the main hallway, when you get there, little me is in with Dana Carvey on the couch. It was, it was one of the, yeah, it, it was so, I loved it so much. I loved it. So, yes.

• 50:45Sean Hayes?

  What do you do when you're, when you're not working on films and stuff and momming? You know, do you, what do you want, what do you love to do? What do you fill your time with? You're just like, nothing. Shopping, walking around Toluca Lake?

• 50:57Speaker 03

  I, honestly, the other day, I dropped them off. I went to Pilates, I did do that. And then I just watched TV. I wanna lay in bed and watch TV. Sean.

• 51:09Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I don't want to make a, I don't want to make a generalization here. Um, a sexist.

• 51:14Will Arnett?

  But you're gonna, but you're gonna?

• 51:16Jason Bateman?

  But I'm gonna, you know, here, here, this would be a good bailout. Somebody told me the other day that they noticed that, I'll just talk about my own house. Amanda watches all of her TV in bed. I watch all of my TV, uh, on the couch. Yeah, and sure. And I find that that is not uncommon. But I said that pretty, pretty well, didn't I?

• 51:39Speaker 03

  You were very.

• 51:40Will Arnett?

  You did a really good job. That was very.

• 51:42Jason Bateman?

  Why do you think, why do you think that is an uncommon thing?

• 51:45Sean Hayes?

  As, as it relates to gender, you mean?

• 51:47Jason Bateman?

  Okay, Sean said it.

• 51:50Sean Hayes?

  No, I didn't know, or I, or is it, or just, or just people, or just like peep, some people like to watch.

• 51:55Jason Bateman?

  I've tried to watch TV in bed and I get, I feel like I'm getting like bed sores.

• 51:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I feel that way.

• 52:01Jason Bateman?

  I need to be able to shift around a lot.

• 52:02Will Arnett?

  I always think the bed is for sleeping and so that if I start watching something in bed, then it's gonna mess with my sleep.

• 52:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and Scotty can't sleep unless he, the TV's on. He cannot fall asleep unless the TV's on.

• 52:13Will Arnett?

  Scotty can.

• 52:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 52:15Jason Bateman?

  Kirsten, we're gonna be right with you, hold on.

• 52:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 52:18Will Arnett?

  Do you, do you fall asleep with the TV, do you fall asleep with the TV on, Kirsten?

• 52:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 52:22Will Arnett?

  No.

• 52:23Jason Bateman?

  You got a TV in the, in the bedroom, though?

• 52:25Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah.

• 52:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, hell, yeah. Some, some people don't. We got one.

• 52:28Sean Hayes?

  Does Jessie watch it?

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:29Sean Hayes?

  To go to sleep?

• 52:30Speaker 03

  No, not to go to sleep, just to enjoy.

• 52:33Jason Bateman?

  But what about, will you, cause Amanda and I often fall asleep where she's watching her iPad and then I'm watching the TV. But she's gotta have the fucking headphones on so that she can, so that she can hear her iPad and not hear what I'm listening to on the TV. But it really only lasts about 10 minutes.

• 52:48Will Arnett?

  But that's on the couch? She's down in your room with you and she's on the couch?

• 52:50Jason Bateman?

  No, no, this, this is when I, when I eventually go upstairs and I get in bed.

• 52:54Will Arnett?

  And you turn the TV on when you're in bed?

• 52:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, she's got the iPad already going. I gotta bring her her headphones. She puts those on and then I turn on the TV and, uh, and let it rock me out.

• 53:04Will Arnett?

  You, you guys should try something called talking to each other. Relating, Jason, can I, let me come over and help your marriage. Just give me 10 minutes to help your marriage.

• 53:14Sean Hayes?

  Kirsten, is there somebody that you dreamed of working with, that you have with? Because it seems like you've worked with all the great, like, great, great, great people.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  I mean, the one is Paul Thomas Anderson. I feel like that's everywhere.

• 53:26Jason Bateman?

  That new movie is gonna be, gonna be the thing.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, looks sick. But he did recommend me for Melancholia, so that was cool.

• 53:32Jason Bateman?

  Oh, he did? Oh, that's cool. Well, Jesse could put in a good word for you. He's worked with them at least once.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  I mean, I have his phone number. He randomly emails me sometimes, so I have those saved.

• 53:42Jason Bateman?

  Just start sending him just random headshots of you from over the years.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  He did, he called me once and he was like, "I need to talk to you about something." And I was like, "Oh, my God, like, this is gonna happen." And then we played phone tag forever. And then we finally got in touch and he was like, asked me about what it was like working with this other actor.

• 54:05Jason Bateman?

  Because he's thinking about giving them a job.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  I was like, "You know how mean that was of you?" That was not cool to do that.

• 54:11Jason Bateman?

  I can't imagine the pressure. He must feel so much pressure, like every actor that he ever talks to.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:17Jason Bateman?

  They're just hitting on him.

• 54:18Will Arnett?

  Is this my moment?

• 54:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah. What can I do to make a good impression on him?

• 54:23Will Arnett?

  I know, well, it'll come. Listen, it'll happen, too. You can manifest anything. I mean, of course it's gonna happen.

• 54:29Jason Bateman?

  Is that right? Well, what does the universe say about that?

• 54:31Will Arnett?

  By the way, it's true.

• 54:33Jason Bateman?

  You don't need to raise your eyebrows up when you're talking about manifestation.

• 54:37Will Arnett?

  You want to fucking fight me on this?

• 54:38Jason Bateman?

  Give me your pitch on manifestation.

• 54:40Will Arnett?

  Put it out there.

• 54:42Jason Bateman?

  You're saying, "Ask the universe for what you want, and it's gonna happen?"

• 54:45Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you know what I always say? Why not me? Why not me?

• 54:48Jason Bateman?

  Well, why don't you just let them, you know?

• 54:50Will Arnett?

  I could let them do it.

• 54:51Sean Hayes?

  Mel Robbins.

• 54:53Will Arnett?

  And we'll be right back. We've been doing this lately where we try to go to a commercial.

• 54:58Sean Hayes?

  We'll throw the commercial.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  And we'll be right back.

• 55:00Will Arnett?

  How did you, did you, how did you and Jesse meet?

• 55:03Speaker 03

  We met on Fargo, season two. Yep, and we, I, it's so funny, I remember seeing him at the airport, like, us meeting at LAX for the first time so clearly.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Um, I, we just were-

• 55:19Will Arnett?

  He doesn't remember it that way? You said that it's almost like he doesn't remember it.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  No, no, I just like, you don't often remember meeting, the first meeting with someone. You could picture it in your brain really clearly.

• 55:28Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 55:29Jason Bateman?

  Well, but can you say why it's, it, it, you remember it so clearly?

• 55:34Speaker 03

  I don't know why. It's like one of those things that like, while I remember that moment, even though I didn't know this was my future husband, you know?

• 55:41Jason Bateman?

  When did the flirt start? Can you tell us?

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Uh, the flirt? Like, I think we were so, like, soulmate enmeshed kind of in our characters too. Like, but also the way we worked and I just felt like I didn't want to not be near him. Is what I felt.

• 56:04Jason Bateman?

  I love that.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, even at lunchtime, like, I'd be like, what are you doing for lunch? You know?

• 56:08Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  Whatever, let's make a sandwich at Crafty, cuz, whatever.

• 56:13Jason Bateman?

  Who asked who first whether they were involved in a relationship?

• 56:17Speaker 03

  We both kinda knew, oh, we were both in relationships, um, yeah.

• 56:23Jason Bateman?

  So then it was respectful all the way through?

• 56:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally respectful. And then we just kept in touch. And then both were out of our relationships. We didn't get together till a year after.

• 56:34Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 56:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  South by Southwest was our first hangout.

• 56:41Jason Bateman?

  Uh-huh.

• 56:42Will Arnett?

  Copy that.

• 56:43Jason Bateman?

  Hot Austin summer nights.

• 56:45Will Arnett?

  Back to one.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  You know.

• 56:47Jason Bateman?

  Still rolling.

• 56:51Will Arnett?

  We, we would, we'd be remiss if we didn't talk a little bit about Roof Man. So JB, you saw this movie? It's amazing. Roof Man-

• 56:58Jason Bateman?

  I saw this movie, I give it a huge, huge thumbs up. Huge thumbs up.

• 57:01Will Arnett?

  Directed by the great Derek Sanfrans, right? And co-starring Channing Tatum.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 57:09Will Arnett?

  It's a, it's a, it's a based on a true story about a dude who lives inside a Toys R Us for a couple of months?

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Yes, he does. He, he basically robbed like 45 McDonald's through the roof. That's why they call him the Roof Man. Yeah, this is all true.

• 57:23Will Arnett?

  Really?

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Yep, and um, he hid out in a Mc, in a Toys R Us for six months.

• 57:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's, and it's, you know, like- You know me, I'm a dark idiot. And so I keep waiting for this film to get like kinda scary and bleak and dark and crime. And but it's so, this film has such a great spirit and warmth about it. Even though it's centralized around a character that's, you know, breaking the law left and right. And it's not like an overtly sort of Robin Hood thing where they kind of earn it all. But it kind of is, but there's just such great like, there's like a tone throughout it that Derek C. and Franz just like pulls through it. That is just like such a high wire act that's so cool. And Kirsten, you and Channing do such a great job of maintaining that too.

• 58:14Jason Bateman?

  It's like, I don't know, I think it's just one of the hardest things in the world to keep something winning and watchable all the way through.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, not be like sappy or corny or feel manipulative.

• 58:26Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:27Jason Bateman?

  It never gets earnest, although it's a very warm movie. It's, I don't know, it's very hard to describe, but I highly recommend it. It's really.

• 58:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and Kirsten, I love that. I can't wait to see it. Do you find yourself as, as long as you've worked, kind of integrating yourself towards, whether you get credit for it or not, a producerial kind of role when you choose your acting gigs? Meaning, I like this part, I want to meet with the director or whatever it is, but I have these things to say about how to improve my role in it so that it works for me? Or whatever the thing is?

• 59:01Speaker 03

  Hmm, I mean, I did that on a TV show. But I feel like it's, both those movies that I did, Roof Man and this, and the plane movie, were so developed that it's not really, you know.

• 59:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you're just like, great, yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I would have done anything with Derek.

• 59:19Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 59:20Speaker 03

  So this isn't a part personally that I would naturally maybe gravitate towards, but I.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  But I wanted to, again, work with him for the experience.

• 59:30Jason Bateman?

  Right, right, right.

• 59:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's.

• 59:32Will Arnett?

  Was it everything you hoped it would be, working with him?

• 59:34Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 59:35Jason Bateman?

  How about that?

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:37Will Arnett?

  That's so cool when that happens.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  I want to work with him again.

• 59:39Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I hear he's a great guy. I've never met him, and Channing is just like the greatest.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  I love him.

• 59:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I do too.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  He is such a good. Yes, he's a real, one of the real ones, yeah.

• 59:49Will Arnett?

  So, I mean, honestly, and, and, and, obviously Derek is such a great filmmaker, but, and his movies are kind of little movies. And when I say that, I don't mean in terms of, just in terms of like the, compared to some of these huge movies that get made these days that are all like based on IP and whatever. He, he has these really great little story-driven movies that he makes and with great characters. Do you, and you've done all of, as we mentioned before.

• 1:00:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's amazing. You've got a great stance in both, yeah.

• 1:00:14Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Now, when you look to do stuff, so as you sit here and, and, and you're at home and Jesse's off working and you're thinking, okay, I'm gonna do something, my next thing. Do you have a plan? Do you go like, I want to kind of hit this note next, or do you just kind of wait?

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  I kind of wait, but also I'd like to do something fun. Like, I just want to have fun and I, yeah, I want to do like a comedy or do something big and fun.

• 1:00:39Jason Bateman?

  And what, and why, and you know, that, like, that's the thing we talk about on the show sometimes, like, where are those movies? Why do they not make those big fun studio ensemble comedies anymore?

• 1:00:48Sean Hayes?

  I think they will soon. I think they have to. Yeah, because the world around us is too dark.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:52Jason Bateman?

  It sure is.

• 1:00:53Sean Hayes?

  I think people just have to, I, I think people are going to want to crave, are gonna start craving that. I don't know when, but I think.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  I know, I feel you.

• 1:01:02Jason Bateman?

  I think it, I think it, you know, sometimes, who's I talking about this? Like, this idea that when we're in times that are dark,

• 1:01:09Will Arnett?

  people don't have as much of a appetite for these big sort of action-y, fun, pithy movies because they, because it's not where they're at. And, and it's all often a reflection of like, if everything sort of feels calm in, in, in our culture, then we can just kind of go and do these big goofy things. And when it's not calm, it's hard for people to let go. It's weird, because you'd think that they'd want to have the escapism, but they, they actually don't.

• 1:01:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, like scary movies are actually doing really well.

• 1:01:38Will Arnett?

  There you go.

• 1:01:38Jason Bateman?

  Like Weapons. Oh my god, that movie's good.

• 1:01:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Jason Bateman?

  You love that Weapons.

• 1:01:43Sean Hayes?

  I do love that Weapons.

• 1:01:44Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:01:44Sean Hayes?

  Have you seen, have you seen it, Kirsten, Weapons?

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  I haven't seen it yet, no.

• 1:01:48Sean Hayes?

  Do you, do you watch movies?

• 1:01:50Will Arnett?

  Go to Jason's house, he's showing it about every two hours.

• 1:01:55Sean Hayes?

  Do you watch movies though at home? Yeah, do you like movies? By yourself or with your kids or whatever?

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  I like going to the movie theater. I, yeah, and I'll take them to the movie theater. I, yeah, I'd rather, if I watch a movie at home, I fall asleep.

• 1:02:08Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, have they, have they, have your kids seen all the classics like E.T., Star Wars, all those things?

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  Um, you know, they're four and seven. Yeah, it's not like, but you know what? My little guy-

• 1:02:17Sean Hayes?

  I was seven when Star Wars came out.

• 1:02:18Will Arnett?

  Hey, Sean, she hasn't shown them Star Wars.

• 1:02:22Sean Hayes?

  Don't be a jerk.

• 1:02:24Will Arnett?

  Fuck.

• 1:02:25Sean Hayes?

  Okay, go ahead, sorry.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  No, I, my four-year-old likes Venom, the first Venom, which I probably shouldn't have shown him.

• 1:02:32Will Arnett?

  That's so weird. That's so weird. So does my little guy.

• 1:02:36Sean Hayes?

  Oh my god.

• 1:02:37Will Arnett?

  My five-year-old likes Venom too.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  I mean, we're probably not good parents for showing them, but whatever.

• 1:02:43Sean Hayes?

  I saw, I saw The Exorcist when I was like eight or nine.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I saw it that young too.

• 1:02:47Sean Hayes?

  I should not be seeing that movie.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Also, my child was begging me, my four-year-old, to watch Jaws. I was like, okay, Jesse and I showed him the first 10 minutes and tried to explain that the girl is being pulled around on a rope.

• 1:02:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Uh, when she's getting eaten alive in the shark. No, he went, he went.

• 1:03:02Sean Hayes?

  He did.

• 1:03:02Will Arnett?

  He still went, yeah.

• 1:03:03Sean Hayes?

  Nowhere near Santa Monica Pier though.

• 1:03:08Will Arnett?

  Well, listen, Kirsten, we're taking away too much of your time.

• 1:03:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:12Will Arnett?

  This is, we're, you're such a delight.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  I mean, I could talk to you guys for a while.

• 1:03:17Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  This is not, no, zero pressure vibes.

• 1:03:20Sean Hayes?

  I'm coming over. I'm coming over later this afternoon.

• 1:03:23Speaker 03

  Come over, come have coffee with me.

• 1:03:24Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, sometimes those interviews, they feel like they were, that they're like 10 minutes long.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  That, the talk's very easy breezy.

• 1:03:30Will Arnett?

  I know. Jason and I are coming, so we're gonna stop by the house and we'll drop off some In-N-Out for you on our way.

• 1:03:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Thanks, guys.

• 1:03:37Jason Bateman?

  It's gonna be hot as shit too.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  You know how to make a girl happy.

• 1:03:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:42Will Arnett?

  All right, so, so Roof Man is out October 10th. We're really excited about it.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  October 10th.

• 1:03:48Will Arnett?

  Also with the, as you called it, the airplane movie. I forget what it's called.

• 1:03:53Jason Bateman?

  You're gonna come back for that. I want you back.

• 1:03:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah, the entertainment system is down.

• 1:03:56Sean Hayes?

  I wanna see that, yeah.

• 1:03:57Will Arnett?

  So many amazing things. You've done so many great roles. You continue to do it. You're such a delight. So happy to have you here. Yeah, what an incredible career.

• 1:04:03Jason Bateman?

  And a great person and a great mom and a great wife and like, you're just doing it all.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys.

• 1:04:08Jason Bateman?

  K D.

• 1:04:08Will Arnett?

  Thank you for joining us, K D.

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:04:11Sean Hayes?

  Such a pleasure to meet you, Kirsten.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  Thanks, Kirsten. You too. Bye, guys.

• 1:04:15Will Arnett?

  Bye, bye, bye.

• 1:04:19Jason Bateman?

  I mean, that was real special, real special.

• 1:04:21Will Arnett?

  That was a lot of fun.

• 1:04:21Jason Bateman?

  Listener, you didn't see the bonus moment there with the two young boys and she finally opened up the door and let them in. And they came in and said hi and Will did his Lego Batman voice and it blew their minds.

• 1:04:35Sean Hayes?

  Cute, cute.

• 1:04:35Will Arnett?

  It was fun, really cute, really fun. I loved that.

• 1:04:37Jason Bateman?

  So cute.

• 1:04:38Will Arnett?

  So cute, so, so cute.

• 1:04:40Jason Bateman?

  What a nice, what a nice lady.

• 1:04:41Will Arnett?

  You guys are cute.

• 1:04:42Jason Bateman?

  You're cute.

• 1:04:43Will Arnett?

  You guys are really cute. You got a couple of cutie pies out there.

• 1:04:45Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Jason Bateman?

  Great career, she's not even halfway done.

• 1:04:48Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 1:04:48Will Arnett?

  Oh my God, she's just getting warmed up.

• 1:04:50Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 1:04:51Will Arnett?

  She's just getting warmed up. She is so, I'm so excited for Roof Man, JB, you've already seen it, but I can't wait to see it. It's gonna be so good.

• 1:04:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I wanna see it.

• 1:04:59Will Arnett?

  And then the entertainment system is down.

• 1:05:00Sean Hayes?

  I wanna see that other one.

• 1:05:01Will Arnett?

  I know, I know.

• 1:05:01Sean Hayes?

  Entertainment system is down. Because what would we do?

• 1:05:04Will Arnett?

  She's always good. She's one of those people. Always good. Everything she does.

• 1:05:10Jason Bateman?

  Sean, you get that all the time.

• 1:05:11Will Arnett?

  Yeah. I mean, and JB?

• 1:05:15Jason Bateman?

  Not really.

• 1:05:16Will Arnett?

  Hey, man, you know?

• 1:05:17Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:17Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:05:18Jason Bateman?

  Fifty, fifty, fifty?

• 1:05:19Will Arnett?

  Fifty, fifty, yeah. Sometimes you're on and sometimes you're on stand by.

• 1:05:22Jason Bateman?

  Bye!

• 1:05:23Sean Hayes?

  Bye! Oh, that was so fast, bye!

• 1:05:25Jason Bateman?

  Everybody!

• 1:06:26Sean Hayes?

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