"Kate McKinnon"

Folks are doing carpentry— it’s the dulcet tones of Kate McKinnon! ASMR, traffic, chicken juice, and Natalie’s mother’s costume jewelry. This is chaos. Welcome to SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Sean Hayes?

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• 1:31Sean Hayes?

  Fall means cozy meals, game days, and an excuse to bring home something sweet? Whole Foods Market keeps the focus on flavor with no artificial sweeteners like sucralose, artificial colors like red dye #40, or high-fructose corn syrup store-wide. For game day, grab made-in-house wings, frozen pizzas, and 365 brand chips and dips. Finish with limited-time pumpkin blondies, apple brown butter cookies, or chocolate bourbon pecan pie. Shop fall flavors with higher standards at Whole Foods Market.

• 2:10Sean Hayes?

  Sitting in traffic, huh? Watching an old lady with a walker make it further up the road than you have in the last 15 minutes? And of course, your gas tank is in the perfect spot between not a problem to stranded on the highway. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode. Experience award-winning reliability, fly with the best crew in the sky, and never worry about change or cancellation fees. Now tell that old lady to slow down. Kids live around here. Southwest Airlines, enter airplane mode.

• 2:55Sean Hayes?

  Hey, you guys, now is like the perfect time for me to do some vocal warmups because nobody's around, so. Pingy pingy pingy pingy pingy. Popcorn peanuts, get them if you want them. Yeah, I got some Twizzlers over here and I got a little payday if you want a payday. Hey, woo! Welcome to Smartless!

• 3:37Sean Hayes?

  Let me tell you something, this is why we don't have a video component on this show.

• 3:42Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 3:42Sean Hayes?

  What's going on today on top of my head?

• 3:44Will Arnett?

  Don't you dare. It looks, you look gorgeous.

• 3:47Sean Hayes?

  Looks really good.

• 3:48Will Arnett?

  You look, you know who you look like? You look like the star of that very successful new streaming show called Black Rabbit that we all love.

• 3:56Sean Hayes?

  That show's amazing!

• 3:58Will Arnett?

  You look like the star of Black Rabbit. Black Rabbit, streaming now on?

• 4:03Jason Bateman?

  Netflix.

• 4:04Will Arnett?

  Netflix.

• 4:05Sean Hayes?

  Wait, when it's not out yet, is it?

• 4:06Will Arnett?

  Well, no.

• 4:06Jason Bateman?

  Well, maybe by the time this airs. Yeah.

• 4:08Will Arnett?

  What's the date, JB?

• 4:09Sean Hayes?

  When does it come out, Jay?

• 4:11Jason Bateman?

  September 18th.

• 4:12Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Jason, that's really exciting.

• 4:14Will Arnett?

  Oh, my God, the show is gonna be so good.

• 4:16Jason Bateman?

  It's gonna, I'm very happy with it. We don't need to talk about that. We don't need to talk about.

• 4:20Sean Hayes?

  So exciting.

• 4:21Jason Bateman?

  Um, I do think it's enough with the London thing and the Long Island thing. Los Angeles and, and me, my heart, my, my mind, my eyes, my ears, my chest. Misses the feeling of your chest against it.

• 4:35Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 4:36Jason Bateman?

  Please come home.

• 4:36Will Arnett?

  Were you at dinner last night? I was gonna, I was gonna FaceTime you. Did you go to our restaurant?

• 4:40Jason Bateman?

  No, there was no, there was no Sunday Fun Day.

• 4:42Will Arnett?

  Oh, I wish I did. I was gonna FaceTime you out of the blue, because I know you love it.

• 4:45Sean Hayes?

  When's the last time there was a Sunday Fun Day?

• 4:48Jason Bateman?

  Uh, two Sundays ago? Two weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago?

• 4:51Sean Hayes?

  Oh, man.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, because we were in New York.

• 4:52Sean Hayes?

  I do miss that a lot.

• 4:53Will Arnett?

  Hot fudge Fun Day?

• 4:55Jason Bateman?

  Well, say it one more time, still rolling?

• 4:57Will Arnett?

  The hot fudge Fun Day.

• 4:59Jason Bateman?

  Hot fudge Fun, oh, you did say it right.

• 5:00Sean Hayes?

  Because you would have a hot fudge there.

• 5:02Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 5:03Jason Bateman?

  You, you brought your.

• 5:04Will Arnett?

  Oh, you put it together. Hey, thanks.

• 5:05Jason Bateman?

  Yes, but you brought your own fudge, isn't that correct?

• 5:08Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:09Sean Hayes?

  Well, around the corner, that's where it's made.

• 5:11Jason Bateman?

  I mean, that's a, that's a Sean Hayes move.

• 5:12Will Arnett?

  Remember I brought my own fudge to my birthday party?

• 5:14Jason Bateman?

  You did, bless your heart.

• 5:15Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 5:16Will Arnett?

  You were out of town. No, I brought my own caramel.

• 5:19Sean Hayes?

  Toppings, yeah.

• 5:20Will Arnett?

  I brought my own caramel to my, to my birthday party, because we went to this place and they, they were like, oh, they don't have the full arsenal of Sunday toppings on Sunday nights, whatever.

• 5:29Sean Hayes?

  That was nice though, but.

• 5:30Will Arnett?

  Luckily, um, our friend Sean organized it very sweetly. JB, you were in Atlanta. And, no, and then I show up with my, I had it in my pocket, and I did it a little bit for effect, because I knew I was gonna get shit for it. I pull it out, Sean, actually, you didn't really give me shit, you kind of laughed. Kimmel gave me a lot of shit, and then sure as shit, when the ice cream came out, everybody said, hey, can you pass it? Can you pass it down here?

• 5:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, the caramel sauce.

• 5:55Will Arnett?

  And Kimmel was first.

• 5:56Sean Hayes?

  Was it caramel sauce?

• 5:58Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it was caramel sauce. And I was like, oh, do you want some now, Kimmel?

• 6:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Will Arnett?

  You know?

• 6:02Jason Bateman?

  Wait, Sean, how do you say that word?

• 6:04Sean Hayes?

  Caramel.

• 6:06Jason Bateman?

  I say caramel, caramel ice cream or caramel swirl, right? I mean, I kind of toggle between the two.

• 6:15Will Arnett?

  How's it spelt? How many As are in it?

• 6:17Sean Hayes?

  Spelt, spell, spells.

• 6:19Jason Bateman?

  C A R A M E L. There's two As, right?

• 6:24Will Arnett?

  I said spelled. I said spelled.

• 6:25Sean Hayes?

  You said spelt with a T.

• 6:28Will Arnett?

  I meant, I, it came out as that. I meant spelt.

• 6:31Jason Bateman?

  I know this guy.

• 6:32Will Arnett?

  Please.

• 6:33Jason Bateman?

  Wait, spelt is a kind of-

• 6:34Will Arnett?

  It's from the guy who says caramel.

• 6:38Will Arnett?

  Are you fucking joking?

• 6:40Jason Bateman?

  He's still, I still can't believe he was shocked that Beatles-

• 6:43Will Arnett?

  What are you saying that as you're getting thrown out of a moving car? What caramel?

• 6:49Sean Hayes?

  Wait, I have a crazy story.

• 6:52Jason Bateman?

  I'd love a new dad joke too. I've worn out, I've worn out my haze can.

• 6:57Sean Hayes?

  I can do a lot, I have lots of dad jokes ready.

• 6:59Jason Bateman?

  Okay, hurry up because our guest is probably falling asleep.

• 7:02Sean Hayes?

  All right, you want a long story or a short dad joke?

• 7:05Will Arnett?

  Short dad joke.

• 7:06Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 7:08Sean Hayes?

  Amal and Juan are identical twins and their mom only carries one photo in her wallet because if you've seen Juan.

• 7:17Will Arnett?

  You've seen Amal.

• 7:18Jason Bateman?

  Boy, that's a, that's a long way to go for shit.

• 7:25Sean Hayes?

  I laughed out loud when I heard that.

• 7:27Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh.

• 7:28Sean Hayes?

  All right.

• 7:30Jason Bateman?

  All right, we're gonna get to our guest, but real first, I just want to say, you know, saw Will's film second time the other day.

• 7:37Sean Hayes?

  You did?

• 7:38Jason Bateman?

  I'm still, I'm kind of-

• 7:38Sean Hayes?

  I can't wait to see it.

• 7:39Jason Bateman?

  A little fucking starstruck when I'm looking at this guy now. He's kind of ruined things. It's kind of like when I saw you doing your Tony Award winning play that you're now doing in London. It's, you guys, you guys, you've got real talent. You know, you're really dumb it down on this show, but you both have a little something special in there.

• 7:56Will Arnett?

  Oh, wait.

• 7:56Jason Bateman?

  You keep hitting-

• 7:58Will Arnett?

  Boy, that compliment hurts.

• 7:59Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Well, yeah, I like to balance it out, but fuck me, Arnett. It's, listen, listener, it's called, is this thing on? Triple dot. Some people say ellipses. But it's a, it's a great film. It's coming your way, I think, towards the end of the year.

• 8:16Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so Black Rabbit comes out in September. Is This Thing On comes out in November?

• 8:20Will Arnett?

  December.

• 8:20Sean Hayes?

  It's like, oh, December. This is like a big deal.

• 8:23Jason Bateman?

  But if you're at the New York Film Festival, you can see it there in October.

• 8:27Will Arnett?

  That's true. That's true. Well, thank you. Thank you, thank you.

• 8:31Will Arnett?

  And, and if you're in London right now, still, even now, if you're in London, you can go to see-

• 8:35Jason Bateman?

  At the Delacorte.

• 8:36Will Arnett?

  At the Delacorte Theater, you can go. How about Oscar?

• 8:40Jason Bateman?

  At the chimmy, chimmy chury sauce.

• 8:43Will Arnett?

  Chimmy churries, at the chimmy chury stage, at the Delacorte.

• 8:47Jason Bateman?

  Barba Can.

• 8:47Will Arnett?

  What about Oscar?

• 8:49Jason Bateman?

  What about that Oscar?

• 8:50Will Arnett?

  What about Oscar? What about Oscar?

• 8:53Sean Hayes?

  Oh, God, here you go.

• 8:55Jason Bateman?

  It's called, what is it called? Leave It To Oscar?

• 8:57Will Arnett?

  Leave It To, Here Comes Oscar!

• 9:01Will Arnett?

  Hey, what do you know about Oscar?

• 9:04Sean Hayes?

  Leave it, leave it to Oscar.

• 9:07Jason Bateman?

  All right, listen to me.

• 9:08Will Arnett?

  Guys, uh, guys, quick, quick reminder before the guest. I just want to say tickets go on sale Friday, September 12th, um, for our Hollywood Bowl night that we're doing right now.

• 9:17Jason Bateman?

  We're very excited about that.

• 9:18Will Arnett?

  Very, very excited. Uh, Saturday, November 15th, right, is our show date?

• 9:22Sean Hayes?

  Saturday, November 15th, yeah. It's gonna be incredible.

• 9:26Jason Bateman?

  Come, come enjoy the chat and giggle under the stars in a very refined setting there in the hills of Los Angeles. Uh, it's gonna, there won't be any fireworks, uh, but except on stage, huh, guys?

• 9:39Will Arnett?

  There's gonna be a lot of fireworks.

• 9:40Jason Bateman?

  All right, let's get into the show, please.

• 9:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 9:43Jason Bateman?

  For your listening pleasure today, we have for you a woman with a real handle on how to make you laugh. But she's not a joke teller. She's an actor of the highest level. Her ability to play characters that are so odd and eccentric.

• 9:54Will Arnett?

  A lot of characters.

• 9:55Jason Bateman?

  It's something you end up watching with amazement and shock as you dab the laugh tears from your eyes. It's why she's been nominated for every single year she was on Saturday Night Live. I think I've got that right. I could not be a bigger fan of her talent and for just being around her. Very cool of her to come hang out with us today. Please welcome one of the greats, Miss Kate the Great McKinnon.

• 10:15Will Arnett?

  Oh, yes!

• 10:16Sean Hayes?

  Willie got it.

• 10:17Will Arnett?

  Yes!

• 10:18Jason Bateman?

  Is she still awake? Yes.

• 10:21Will Arnett?

  Oh, wait, she's in the Criterion closet. Uh-oh, she's, she's got the Criterion collection behind her.

• 10:28Jason Bateman?

  Are those really, are those DVDs behind you or just a bunch of one acts?

• 10:30Speaker 03

  No, no, they're books. I'm in, I'm in a, hi.

• 10:33Jason Bateman?

  Hi.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  Oh, hello. Um, I'm, no, I'm in the, um, I'm in the, uh, offices of the publisher of the book that I'm here to promote.

• 10:46Jason Bateman?

  Okay, let's, let's start right off with it.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  But we don't have to talk about that right away, but we should at some point.

• 10:52Will Arnett?

  No, let's pretend like we're not. Let's let it come up organically.

• 10:55Jason Bateman?

  The name of the new book is Purple, Purple Pearl. It's about a deep sea diver. Tell me, take it from there.

• 11:01Will Arnett?

  Jason, that's her volume.

• 11:02Speaker 03

  Okay, this is the, hey.

• 11:03Will Arnett?

  Oh, she's putting her glasses on. That means she wrote a book.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  These are fake glasses that I wear to feel more comfortable.

• 11:09Jason Bateman?

  Ah, that's incredible.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  They, um, they provide a barrier between me.

• 11:13Will Arnett?

  From the world.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  And my interlocutors, um, that I need in order to feel safe.

• 11:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Um, I can see you, but you can't come close to me.

• 11:24Will Arnett?

  Wait, are you reading from the book right now? Is this, is this the first chapter of the book?

• 11:29Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 11:30Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  I have never been on a podcast before.

• 11:33Jason Bateman?

  No, truly?

• 11:33Will Arnett?

  Are you serious?

• 11:34Jason Bateman?

  This is your first podcast?

• 11:35Speaker 03

  I've never been, yes.

• 11:36Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  And I'm afraid. And I'm...

• 11:39Jason Bateman?

  No, don't be. We're super safe.

• 11:40Will Arnett?

  Like, we're just hanging out.

• 11:41Jason Bateman?

  This is a safe place. And no one can see you. They can just hear you.

• 11:44Will Arnett?

  No, yeah.

• 11:45Jason Bateman?

  Even though you look incredible.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Even though I have these glasses on to protect.

• 11:48Will Arnett?

  Are you literally in a closet? Is that why you're whispering?

• 11:51Speaker 03

  No, no, I, no, this is, I speak in dulcet tones. Uh, this is my real voice. And, um, the presence of the microphone in my mouth is also making it easier for me to speak in my most dulcet tones.

• 12:04Jason Bateman?

  You just have it deep, deep in the throat?

• 12:06Will Arnett?

  You know, you know what's really powerful, Kate, is when you can bring it down and you can bring, you control the tone and the volume like that.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  They come to you.

• 12:14Jason Bateman?

  They lean in.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  They come to you.

• 12:16Jason Bateman?

  They pulled over.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  Or not, or they leave.

• 12:19Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  They could leave.

• 12:21Sean Hayes?

  But if they can't see you.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  I would.

• 12:22Sean Hayes?

  If they can't see you in the glasses, at least they can hear you now.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 12:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Hey, listen, Purple Pearl.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Blue.

• 12:31Jason Bateman?

  Is about somebody who dives for pearls that they're only purple if they're super deep. So this is a diver that is particularly talented at diving deep. I think I've said it right.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  It's a diver, it's a diver named Natalie.

• 12:45Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  And she has lost her costume jewelry and she gets in trouble because it's her mother's costume jewelry.

• 12:52Jason Bateman?

  What a cadet. Is this really it?

• 12:54Speaker 03

  And, um, no, it's not. But I think I've just plotted my, my new series. So I am gonna go because I'm inspired.

• 13:05Jason Bateman?

  By the way, if you open a show with somebody losing costume jewelry, I'm always.

• 13:10Will Arnett?

  Me too. Me too.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Have you ever lost?

• 13:14Will Arnett?

  Show.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Have you ever lost something?

• 13:17Jason Bateman?

  Have I?

• 13:18Speaker 03

  That you really weren't supposed to lose.

• 13:20Jason Bateman?

  Um, my phone?

• 13:23Sean Hayes?

  My dad.

• 13:23Jason Bateman?

  That's the worst. That is about the worst feeling.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  That is about the worst feeling.

• 13:27Will Arnett?

  You know what you lost a few years ago, Jason, but you, but you found?

• 13:29Jason Bateman?

  Dignity?

• 13:30Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 13:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. And I just hit my head on the wall behind me.

• 13:35Jason Bateman?

  Hey, listen, I want to get right to.

• 13:37Will Arnett?

  Kate McKinnon, can I just say?

• 13:40Sean Hayes?

  One of the funniest to ever live.

• 13:41Will Arnett?

  I think you're so funny.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Oh, gosh, you know, we don't have to do this.

• 13:45Will Arnett?

  No, you are so great. No, this is part of the podcast. You have to put up with this on the podcast.

• 13:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:48Will Arnett?

  So you have to sit here and take it.

• 13:50Jason Bateman?

  Praise for an hour.

• 13:50Will Arnett?

  You're so funny and you're so, um, original and cool. I just, I don't know you at all.

• 13:58Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 13:58Will Arnett?

  And this, this, no.

• 13:59Jason Bateman?

  You've never met her?

• 14:01Will Arnett?

  We've, Kate, we've never.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  I feel like we have, you know, a lifelong fan.

• 14:06Jason Bateman?

  You met our guest?

• 14:07Sean Hayes?

  I, I'm passing. We've said hello. Yes.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 14:11Sean Hayes?

  But never like spent time.

• 14:12Jason Bateman?

  On the road?

• 14:13Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 14:13Will Arnett?

  On the road.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Yes, we were, I was driving by.

• 14:15Sean Hayes?

  At a red light. Yeah. At a red light.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 14:19Will Arnett?

  You drive an 88 Volvo station wagon, right?

• 14:22Sean Hayes?

  That's me. But Kate, I remember the first time I was doing the Maya Rudolph show. It was like, it was gonna be a thing, but it was only one episode.

• 14:30Jason Bateman?

  Underrated!

• 14:32Will Arnett?

  Very underrated!

• 14:34Sean Hayes?

  And it was your first year, I think, of Saturday Night Live. And Lorne was at this shoot that I was doing with Maya. And I turned to Lorne. Lorne.

• 14:45Sean Hayes?

  And I said, "Hey, that new girl, Kate McKinnon." And he said, he goes, "Isn't she special?" I go, "She is such a superstar." And he's like, "I know, we all, we all know, we all feel it." And I was just like, so everybody knew it right when you came on?

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Lorne said that? My sorry.

• 15:00Sean Hayes?

  Lorne Michael said that, yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  That's beautiful. Thank you for saying that.

• 15:04Jason Bateman?

  But now, Kate.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:06Jason Bateman?

  When was the first time you heard that? Like, how old were you when you privately, because you're a very humble person, you didn't like go out and say, "Hey, everybody thinks I'm great." You just, internally, you thought, "Hey, you know what? I think I can make people laugh, and I like the feeling, and I wanna do a little bit more of it." How old were you? Were you like 12?

• 15:29Sean Hayes?

  This is a ASMR episode.

• 15:30Jason Bateman?

  Were you like 20?

• 15:35Jason Bateman?

  When did it start happening for you?

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. It's the most intimate smart list ever. Is it? Okay. Yeah. Well, I know, I, um, gosh, you know, what it was, okay. I was in a crisp, I was in a pageant at church, a play. Really? I was playing... What denomination?

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Methodist. Okay. But like northern Methodist. So like, everyone is like just gray and of like Dutch descent. And, um... Great. You know, chalky skin. And we, uh, we were doing a play, Daniel and the Lion's Den. And I believe I was playing Cyrus, King of Persia.

• 16:18Will Arnett?

  This one I don't know so well.

• 16:24Jason Bateman?

  So you're playing Cyrus, that's the choice part.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  I forget that's, yeah, no, it's a really good part. And I decided to do it in a British accent to make myself feel more comfortable. And those Methodists, they gotta kick it up.

• 16:39Jason Bateman?

  They thought it was a hilarious choice, yes?

• 16:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:41Jason Bateman?

  They weren't offended?

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Because he's the king of Persian. Why would we have a British? No, no, I, well, I know, I was doing a British accent and I, they were laughing and I, I just always liked to do different voices other than my own because my own, you know, you're hearing it, it's like, it does it.

• 16:59Will Arnett?

  It was a choice, it was, it was a choice.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  It was a way to reach out.

• 17:03Will Arnett?

  What I'm saying is there was a Methodist to your madness.

• 17:05Jason Bateman?

  But did you think, but, but did you, but did you, did you think it was going to be funny? Or were you doing it for, to like, kind of protect yourself? And then the, the laughter was a bit of a surprise? Or were you trying?

• 17:17Speaker 03

  That, what you just said.

• 17:18Jason Bateman?

  Really? So it was a surprise? You were like, oh, if I kind of bend things a bit, A, it protects me and B, I get laughter and that could be nice social capital?

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 17:29Jason Bateman?

  Yes?

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 17:31Jason Bateman?

  And how old were we?

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Um, I want to say 10.

• 17:34Jason Bateman?

  10?

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. And, but there were always, in, you know, growing up in my family, there were, everyone was doing voices. You had to do voices or you got kicked out.

• 17:45Will Arnett?

  Of the family?

• 17:46Speaker 03

  I had a brother.

• 17:47Jason Bateman?

  Around, around the dinner table?

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Kicked out, yeah. No, I didn't, I didn't have a brother. Around the dinner table, you know, waking up, going to bed, just the voices, voices, Long Island.

• 17:57Jason Bateman?

  People were funny people.

• 17:58Will Arnett?

  What part of Long Island?

• 18:01Speaker 03

  You know, the North Shore.

• 18:03Jason Bateman?

  The North Shore?

• 18:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 18:05Jason Bateman?

  Like, we're talking about Oyster Bay.

• 18:06Will Arnett?

  Suffolk, we're talking Suffolk County, right?

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Nassau, Nassau.

• 18:09Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, people are washed.

• 18:10Will Arnett?

  Oh, Nassau?

• 18:11Speaker 03

  No, Nassau.

• 18:11Will Arnett?

  All right, all right.

• 18:13Jason Bateman?

  Very good.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  What about you?

• 18:14Jason Bateman?

  Oh, he's all the way.

• 18:15Will Arnett?

  Are we talking like Douglasston? What are we talking about?

• 18:17Speaker 03

  No, not quite Douglasston.

• 18:18Sean Hayes?

  Did you see that documentary about that guy who killed all those people in?

• 18:22Jason Bateman?

  Hey Kate, hold on one second.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:24Jason Bateman?

  Go ahead, Sean.

• 18:25Will Arnett?

  The Gilgo Beach guy?

• 18:27Jason Bateman?

  Yes, yes, I just watched it.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Oh, him.

• 18:29Sean Hayes?

  It was crazy.

• 18:30Jason Bateman?

  Quick hot take from Sean on the documentary True Crime series?

• 18:34Sean Hayes?

  It was unbelievable.

• 18:35Jason Bateman?

  Was it?

• 18:36Will Arnett?

  Why'd you mention the mass murderer?

• 18:38Jason Bateman?

  Anything else from, uh, from 2022 you want to hit the audience to?

• 18:47Jason Bateman?

  How about Barbie? Have you seen that?

• 18:49Will Arnett?

  Hey, that Ted Bundy.

• 18:53Will Arnett?

  How about Barbie?

• 18:54Jason Bateman?

  What about that weird Barbie?

• 18:56Sean Hayes?

  By the way, Kate was in Barbie.

• 18:58Jason Bateman?

  Wait, what? Did she play weird Barbie? Stupid ass. Back to you, Kate.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  We, growing up, you know, are big. The big thing. Sorry, gosh. The big thing growing up, I mean, the microphones, my mouth is on.

• 19:14Jason Bateman?

  You don't need to throw.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  I'm licking the microphone.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  The, I feel like I don't need to project.

• 19:20Jason Bateman?

  You don't?

• 19:20Speaker 03

  The, um, the big thing growing up was, um, the Amy Fisher, Joey Buttafuoco.

• 19:26Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Incident. Joey Buttafuoco was my grandfather's auto mechanic.

• 19:32Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 19:33Sean Hayes?

  Oh, really?

• 19:33Speaker 03

  And it was exciting, and, because it was ours.

• 19:36Will Arnett?

  Yeah, of course.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  It was Long Island, it was, it was Long Island to a T. And, you know, I didn't know.

• 19:42Jason Bateman?

  Was your grandfather deposed?

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Was he deposed?

• 19:44Jason Bateman?

  Was your grandfather deposed?

• 19:46Speaker 03

  I suppose, uh, not.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  He would have said, but, uh, we, it was just, we, you know, and, and my friends and I, we would play, we would play that. We'd play. We would enact the saga.

• 20:02Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 20:02Speaker 03

  And, you know, and I didn't realize at the time that Amy Fisher was being trafficked.

• 20:07Will Arnett?

  Amy Fisher was being trafficked?

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. You know, you didn't know that?

• 20:10Will Arnett?

  No, of course not.

• 20:11Sean Hayes?

  I didn't know that either.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  She was 17, he was 35. It was, you know, yeah, she was being trafficked.

• 20:16Jason Bateman?

  From Suffolk to Nassau?

• 20:18Will Arnett?

  Well, there's a ton of traffic. Yeah, especially, especially if you get into Great Neck.

• 20:25Will Arnett?

  If you're, if you're on the Northern Parkway, forget it.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  Will, what do you, you know your stuff.

• 20:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I do. I'm showing off for you.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  You've been on the Meadowbrook, man. What is this?

• 20:36Will Arnett?

  Of course I've been on the Meadowbrook. I'm not a maniac.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  You're from there? What is this?

• 20:39Will Arnett?

  I'm on Long Island right now.

• 20:40Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 20:43Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 20:47Sean Hayes?

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• 21:32Sean Hayes?

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• 21:52Sean Hayes?

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• 22:32Sean Hayes?

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• 23:13Sean Hayes?

  Hiring now, then this is a job for Indeed-sponsored jobs. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Do you guys ever have anything in your brain that you wish you could delete? Like something you said at an awkward conversation? Or something you totally regret saying to a friend, or a coworker, or somebody else? I have. And by connecting you to a qualified therapist online, BetterHelp can help you find an experienced professional to talk through the thoughts that are taking up way too much mental real estate. With thousands of therapists and millions of members across more than 100 countries, it's helped many people make meaningful progress toward feeling better. After you take a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences,

• 23:58Sean Hayes?

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• 24:37Will Arnett?

  So you did the play. What happened? Did you start doing sketch comedy? Like, you don't automatically go from Daniel and the Magic Lion. Yeah. Playing Cedric. Playing Cedric, the entertainer, and then all of a sudden you're doing stand-up, and you're in Lorne Michaels thinks you're the great next. Like, what happened? There you are. You're done playing the cello.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 24:56Will Arnett?

  Right? You played Amy Fisher, you played Mary Jo, you played...

• 25:00Speaker 03

  No, I was Joey.

• 25:01Will Arnett?

  Oh, you were Joey. You're a Joey Butterfield. Okay, so.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Who was trafficking.

• 25:06Will Arnett?

  He was trafficking, okay. So then, what'd you do? You go to NYU? What'd you do? How'd you, what'd you?

• 25:12Jason Bateman?

  Columbia, she's a smarty.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  I went there, but I, you know, I did, I did the plays in high school.

• 25:18Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  And I did sketch at Columbia and then I, I auditioned. I went to an open call for a show, The Big Gay Sketch Show, which was on the now defunct Logo Network.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  These are great shows. They're very talented.

• 25:37Will Arnett?

  Groundbreaking.

• 25:41Jason Bateman?

  This is an Italian critic we have stuck in the back of the theater. That's been in the process of getting thrown out for over a hundred episodes.

• 25:47Will Arnett?

  It never gets old and never gets funny.

• 25:53Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so Big Gay Sketch Show, was that, was that the?

• 25:56Speaker 03

  So that was the first thing I ever auditioned for and I, I got it.

• 26:00Sean Hayes?

  And you got it?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  And I thought.

• 26:01Sean Hayes?

  How old were you?

• 26:02Speaker 03

  I was 22 and I thought, well, this'll be easy.

• 26:07Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  And then, and then I, I learned, it became clear that it was a difficult career. And so then I, I did UCB in New York, the Upper East Citizens Brigade Theater for many years.

• 26:21Will Arnett?

  Was that 26th Street Days?

• 26:22Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly. And then I auditioned for, what? Say again, what?

• 26:29Jason Bateman?

  I just want to stop for one second here, UCB, we're on 26th. We've got people coming in and out. Will probably was, you didn't meet her there, Willie?

• 26:37Will Arnett?

  I didn't see you there. I was there every Sunday night at ASCAT for about 12 years.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  I was so afraid to even go to ASCAT.

• 26:45Jason Bateman?

  Wait, what's the difference between ASCAT and UCB?

• 26:47Will Arnett?

  No, but you know ASCAT, it's the Sunday night show that we used to go to.

• 26:50Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's like an infotrace, it's an improv show.

• 26:52Will Arnett?

  And Ian Roberts used to do.

• 26:54Jason Bateman?

  What is the difference between that and UCB?

• 26:56Will Arnett?

  UCB's the theater. ASCAT was the Sunday night show, which was like a big, long herald.

• 27:00Sean Hayes?

  The name of the show.

• 27:01Will Arnett?

  Anyway, so you were too afraid to go to ASCAT, but who were you on? Were you in, were you on a comedy team or like with a?

• 27:08Speaker 03

  I did sketch and I did a lot of one woman shows. And I had, uh, no, never. And I, I, but that involved a lot of like, I would have, I did one where I had to, it had a cake in it. And a full rotisserie chicken and seven wigs. And so I would have to bring all the wigs and then I would stop at the Gristides grocery store above and buy a cake and a full rotisserie chicken and bring them down. And so I was lugging, those days, those days were exciting days and just lugging a lot of props and wigs. I had, I had amassed a collection of, of 45 or so wigs.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  That were gross and had chicken juice in them.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  They got all chickeny and they got all cakey.

• 28:03Sean Hayes?

  But when you, but when you went back, really quick sidebar, I had an audition for In Living Color when I was like 21.

• 28:10Sean Hayes?

  I auditioned for In Living Color when I was 21 years old to replace, quote, "The white guy," right, was Jim Carrey. And I go in with a bag of tons of wigs and I sit down and the woman, the cast director is sitting right across from me. And I go through all these characters that I put together in like 24 hours. And at the end of it, not one laugh, not one laugh, and she goes, "Wigs are fun, aren't they?"

• 28:31Jason Bateman?

  Oh, fuck.

• 28:32Sean Hayes?

  And that's it.

• 28:33Jason Bateman?

  Oh, Shawnee. Wait a second, I had to, oh, no.

• 28:37Will Arnett?

  How do we not know this?

• 28:38Jason Bateman?

  I had no idea that you had a bag of characters to match a bag of wigs.

• 28:42Will Arnett?

  I was just saying, can we meet one?

• 28:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, just give us your best one, Shawnee. Sorry, Kate, one sec, this is gonna be good.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  No, I want, I want this too.

• 28:49Jason Bateman?

  Give us your best.

• 28:50Sean Hayes?

  I made them, I made them up in 24 hours. I don't even remember what they are.

• 28:54Jason Bateman?

  Oh shit, you don't.

• 28:54Will Arnett?

  Hello?

• 28:55Jason Bateman?

  What's your go-to?

• 28:56Will Arnett?

  There he is.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  Hello, mate.

• 28:59Jason Bateman?

  That guy's probably got severe bangs, right?

• 29:03Jason Bateman?

  All right, back to you, Kate.

• 29:04Will Arnett?

  Back to Kate.

• 29:05Jason Bateman?

  So Kate, you said, you said, when you were in Big Gay Sketch Show or something, you said, oh, boy, this was, this is really hard. It's not what I thought it would be. What did you mean by that? What was hard?

• 29:13Speaker 03

  Oh, just get, just, just, you know, be, being, being a comedian, being an actor. I mean, you know, auditioning, stuff, getting, getting jobs, you know, the very, very difficult and, and, and finding your voice and developing material, you know, this, this is a life, this is a lifelong craft, you know, practicing the craft. I thought I, I, I was, I was naive and it's, and it's, you know, it, it turned out to be a whole thing.

• 29:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  And, but glad.

• 29:43Will Arnett?

  It's hard. It's, it's, it's not easy to navigate. It's, it's harder to navigate than the Van Wick between four and six, am I right?

• 29:50Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:53Will Arnett?

  Am I right?

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 29:54Will Arnett?

  Are we talking about the Van Wick or what?

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 29:57Jason Bateman?

  Kate.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  You take the southern state all the way? What do you do?

• 30:01Will Arnett?

  I'm not a maniac, but I will sometimes think of Bell Parkway. I'm not lying. From JFK, I'll take the belt.

• 30:06Jason Bateman?

  Oh, the belt's great, but you can't, you can't put a semi, you can't put a semi truck on the belt.

• 30:10Will Arnett?

  You can't put a semi truck on the belt, and then I'll take the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.

• 30:13Jason Bateman?

  True.

• 30:14Will Arnett?

  Oh, my God.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  No, but really, you take the LIE all the way out there?

• 30:16Will Arnett?

  Obviously, I take the LIE. I'm not a fucking maniac.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know. I don't know you. At some point, you're switching.

• 30:22Jason Bateman?

  Kate, the plan going to Columbia, the plan going to Columbia, since you majored, graduated with a degree in theater, was to be an actor as you're living, correct? This, this was how you're gonna feed yourself?

• 30:35Speaker 03

  No, I did not, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that that was possible.

• 30:40Jason Bateman?

  I, I can't believe that. You're a smart person by virtue of going to Columbia. You major in theater. You come out with a degree there. How were you planning that you were gonna tack to a completely different industry to, to feed yourself and provide shelter?

• 30:55Speaker 03

  The summer I graduated from college, my plan was that I was going to dress up as Pippi Longstocking, sell popsicles in Union Square. And my gimmick would be that I would be dressed as Pippi Longstocking, and so everyone would buy my popsicles. So that was my professional plan.

• 31:17Jason Bateman?

  Great markup potential on popsicles.

• 31:19Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  I also was really wanting to teach English in Romania or, or, or one of the Balkan states.

• 31:27Will Arnett?

  Or Romanian in England.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:33Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, so you didn't imagine it? I find that so, I mean, you must have known that. Even Sean Hayes thought he could make it in show business.

• 31:42Jason Bateman?

  With his wigs.

• 31:45Will Arnett?

  I got one on now.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Never, never did I ever, ever think that that was possible, no.

• 31:53Will Arnett?

  Okay, so how did the audition for SNL happen then? You were at UCB, you did, like, Lindsay Shookus came down and saw you, what happened?

• 32:00Speaker 03

  I was doing a showcase in LA and I, they invited me to audition and then I did.

• 32:10Jason Bateman?

  And how did that audition go? You were very nervous, I would imagine.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  I was horrifically nervous. I was going to...

• 32:21Jason Bateman?

  The restroom, often?

• 32:22Speaker 03

  The restroom, often. No, I was horrendously nervous, but then Bobby Moynihan.

• 32:28Will Arnett?

  Love Bobby.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  I guess maybe had seen me at UCB doing a one-woman show and he came up to me and he said, "Hey, you're funny" and I, and then I could breathe and that was it. So I do credit him with everything.

• 32:43Jason Bateman?

  Giving you a little prop up right beforehand.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  No, but seriously, like, you know, just when someone reaches out to you in the dark.

• 32:50Jason Bateman?

  Here she comes.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  You know, and some, all it takes is one.

• 32:54Jason Bateman?

  Get it.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Because when someone has the kindness.

• 32:59Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  To see you.

• 33:02Jason Bateman?

  Preach it.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Then you get a little bit taller. And you, and you can fly.

• 33:09Jason Bateman?

  Yep, we're gonna be right back.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  And I flew.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  No, but, no, if he had not done that, honestly, I would be in Romania.

• 33:19Jason Bateman?

  And they received you well? Was there generous laughter and warmth from the people in the dark?

• 33:26Speaker 03

  I heard some titters, mild titters, which was so encouraging because I had heard that there would be dead silence. So I was prepared for dead silence.

• 33:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  And then when I got a single titter, I thought, OK, I'm flying. And but I had also practiced it a lot. Like, I like to wing stuff. I don't know about you guys.

• 33:50Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  But that, I thought.

• 33:52Jason Bateman?

  Have you noticed?

• 33:53Will Arnett?

  I've not listened to the show.

• 33:57Jason Bateman?

  I'm all out of questions.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:59Jason Bateman?

  Now, do they? They don't let you know on the spot there, right? Do they call you? Does your agent call you? Are we represented at that moment by an agent? What? What? How did it all come together?

• 34:09Speaker 03

  I don't think I did at that point have represent. I think I had. No, that's not true. I did. I did have. I did have an agent and a manager at that point. Bless them.

• 34:20Jason Bateman?

  And so you get the call. You're elated. You're nervous. You go to. You go. What was the first day like over there at SNL? Was it what you thought it might be?

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Phew. It was. I got. Guys, I just was really, really nervous. And.

• 34:38Jason Bateman?

  Sure, they all were.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Oh, well, so the thing was, it was just me. I was hired alone.

• 34:44Jason Bateman?

  What?

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Five, at the last five episodes of a season.

• 34:48Jason Bateman?

  Oh, my God.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  So I just, I was like,

• 34:51Jason Bateman?

  How unusual.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  Here's your computer. And bless them, I had known a few folks there from UCB who rescued me from the choppy, choppy waters of my own nervousness and really helped me out.

• 35:08Jason Bateman?

  And were you writer or performer?

• 35:10Speaker 03

  Performer.

• 35:11Jason Bateman?

  Performer, right out of the gate.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  I just want to say, like, with that audition, like, I practiced so many times. I must have. I must have said that out loud 50,000 times. And I felt OK about it because I had done that. But usually, I'm winging it.

• 35:30Jason Bateman?

  I feel like the performers that really stand out, I mean, you tell me because I only hosted once. I've never been a cast member. But from what I see, is the people that really stand out on Saturday Night Live.

• 35:42Sean Hayes?

  Really do their homework and really work on characters or the dialogue. Because a lot of the times, I can't see you reading the cards. Like, you're so in it, I don't see you reading the cards. And a lot of people, I do see you read the cards. And both, you know, everybody does both. But is any of that true? That you memorize a lot of the stuff as opposed to rely on the cards? You personally?

• 36:02Speaker 03

  I cannot memorize dialogue.

• 36:04Sean Hayes?

  There you go.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Whatever ability I ever had, left with my reliance on those cue cards. And now I cannot memorize. And I forget, I'm just, I can't remember stuff anymore.

• 36:16Will Arnett?

  I'm not gonna give another shout out to Wally. We've done it too many times on this show, so I'm not gonna do it.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  I'll do it.

• 36:22Sean Hayes?

  But he is an incredible card-

• 36:24Will Arnett?

  He is an incredible, no, we love-

• 36:25Sean Hayes?

  Card artist.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Love ya.

• 36:28Sean Hayes?

  Do you miss it, Kate, at all?

• 36:30Speaker 03

  I do, I miss, I miss the people. I miss Wally. I miss Jenna and Chris, the stage managers, so much. I miss all of my friends. I miss Lorne Michaels. And, yes, I miss it. And I miss, I miss being able to participate in commenting on current events. But I also am so happy to be going to bed at 10:30, which is when I would normally go to bed.

• 37:03Sean Hayes?

  Right, right, right.

• 37:03Jason Bateman?

  Did it get harder or easier as your talent, confidence, popularity increased? You'd think it would get easier, but maybe it gets harder because of the, you know, people are watching you?

• 37:19Will Arnett?

  Expectation.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  It was always hard and always fun.

• 37:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  And I-

• 37:27Will Arnett?

  It's the way people often describe Sean, you know that, right?

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:32Sean Hayes?

  Often hard.

• 37:33Will Arnett?

  Always, always hard and always fun.

• 37:40Will Arnett?

  That's gonna stay on my tombstone.

• 37:43Jason Bateman?

  Handle in high school, I think.

• 37:45Will Arnett?

  I mean, yeah.

• 37:46Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 37:48Will Arnett?

  I know, sorry. It's just like, it's just a fucking crapshoot over here, Kate. Look, we don't want to take you down memory lane, but we have to because we want to get to know you. We want to know.

• 37:58Jason Bateman?

  Let's shuttle all the way through SNL now.

• 38:01Will Arnett?

  Okay, let's get through.

• 38:01Jason Bateman?

  Let's get to the end of SNL and we make the...

• 38:03Will Arnett?

  Let's bundle it.

• 38:04Jason Bateman?

  We make the decision to move on.

• 38:06Will Arnett?

  Bundle it.

• 38:07Jason Bateman?

  Frightening, but great success, right out the door. And now you're flying high. But I bet it was a little nerve wracking at the beginning, right?

• 38:19Speaker 03

  Oh, just, I don't, I don't, I don't like change. And so it was just terrible. I just, I hate, I hate goodbyes. I hate change. And so it was not a decision made lightly. And I was just so sad. I just was so sad. And really do miss everybody that I worked with because it's, it's a beautiful, it's such a family. And it's, it's wonderful. And I...

• 38:51Will Arnett?

  It's like Olive Garden, that place, right?

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

• 38:57Speaker 03

  But I, but then I wanted to, when you're there, you are eating breadsticks. And...

• 39:06Will Arnett?

  Plus, they do have also like unlimited bread.

• 39:10Jason Bateman?

  What about, what, were you, were you, were you writing books at while you were doing this? Where, where, where does the writing come from?

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, that was just, that was something that I started doing to, when I like wasn't at SNL. I just, I, I always loved, you know, I love char, I love, I love characters.

• 39:31Jason Bateman?

  Oh, sure.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  I love big hair and I love funny names.

• 39:36Jason Bateman?

  Sashimi.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Sashimi.

• 39:39Sean Hayes?

  And we will be right back.

• 39:44Sean Hayes?

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• 40:28Sean Hayes?

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• 40:58Sean Hayes?

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• 41:43Sean Hayes?

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• 41:59Sean Hayes?

  Can we talk about something embarrassing besides the sound of my voice? Imagine you're at lunch. The server brings a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar while the food is still on the way. You think, "Just a sip while I wait for my chili dog." So you take that sip, but suddenly you can't stop drinking that delicious ice cold Coke Zero. The food arrives and you're just sitting there emotionally unprepared, waiting for a life-saving refill. Real Coca-Cola taste with zero sugar? It's hard to resist. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, too good to wait. Enjoy the delicious taste of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 42:40Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 42:44Sean Hayes?

  Um, Kay, can I ask you a serious question?

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:46Sean Hayes?

  What about, what about?

• 42:47Jason Bateman?

  What the fuck is going on?

• 42:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I gotta come in. I gotta get in there. So, The Big Gay Sketch Show, you were obviously gay and out because you're on a show called The Big Gay Sketch Show, but then when you went to Saturday Night Live, did you have... Were you out and proud? Or was it something you struggled with keeping a secret? Or am I an idiot and you were out and I just didn't know? Or was that playing any factor at all?

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Oh, bless your heart. Bless your heart. Uh, no, I was out. I was, it was on the internet.

• 43:13Sean Hayes?

  Okay, great, so it must be true.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  It was on the internet in 2006, so there, there it was. And, um, and I'm glad. I'm glad it was because...

• 43:23Jason Bateman?

  No pun? No pun on the glad thing? Mm-hmm. I see glad as a ridicule organization.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Because it was, it was already, it was already done. And I, I, I, so I, uh, you know, I am a coward and I, I, I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it if I had not already done it. I would have, I would have had to.

• 43:45Jason Bateman?

  But then, did you, you, did you, does my Wikipedia research accurate? Did you, you confirmed all when you gave Ellen an award and thanked her for blazing the trail of kicking the door down?

• 44:01Jason Bateman?

  Question?

• 44:02Speaker 03

  I did, I think it was pretty obvious the whole time. Um, I did give Ellen that award, yes.

• 44:09Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 44:10Speaker 03

  And, and, um...

• 44:11Jason Bateman?

  Wiki really framed that as a pivotal moment.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Wow, okay, okay. I thought I was gay, gay before that, but that's cool. No, that's, that's interesting.

• 44:23Will Arnett?

  No, they're, they're trying to claim it.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  Beyonce was at my table that night.

• 44:27Jason Bateman?

  Beyonce was?

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Yes, and she was wearing a dress that was so...

• 44:31Jason Bateman?

  Nice, nice.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  The shoulders were so tall. And I don't know how she saw to her left or to her right.

• 44:38Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  I guess she didn't need to. She was, it was so resplendent, she was so, I, I couldn't look at her.

• 44:46Will Arnett?

  Well, the confidence to just know that you only need to look forward.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 44:50Will Arnett?

  That really speaks to a level of confidence. That you're not worried about what's on either side. It's all a smooth sailing. It's, it's, it's, it's, everything's wide open, wider than, wider than the Grand Central Park we had Monday at 10:00 PM. Just nothing.

• 45:06Jason Bateman?

  It's great, it's great, these callbacks. You gotta, gotta keep your knees bent, Kate, he'll keep coming.

• 45:13Jason Bateman?

  Do you think, do you think, do you think?

• 45:15Will Arnett?

  It's so stupid.

• 45:16Speaker 03

  I mean, before it turns into the Northern State, sure.

• 45:19Will Arnett?

  Obviously, obviously.

• 45:21Jason Bateman?

  Obvi.

• 45:24Jason Bateman?

  Now, do you think that?

• 45:25Speaker 03

  The Tri-Borough is my favorite bridge, I don't know about you.

• 45:27Will Arnett?

  I do, I do like, I like the Tri-Borough.

• 45:30Jason Bateman?

  Not the G W B?

• 45:31Will Arnett?

  No.

• 45:32Jason Bateman?

  Tappan Zee?

• 45:32Will Arnett?

  Trash. That's way too far north.

• 45:35Jason Bateman?

  What's that called, Cuomo now?

• 45:37Will Arnett?

  Hey, you know what's kind of underrated is the Queensborough.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  I love, I also love the Queensborough.

• 45:42Will Arnett?

  Queensborough Bridge is pretty good.

• 45:43Jason Bateman?

  Also referred to as the Midtown, um, or Bridge, or the 52nd Street Bridge?

• 45:48Will Arnett?

  Nope.

• 45:49Jason Bateman?

  No?

• 45:49Will Arnett?

  Never referred to as that. So, Kate, um, no, it is up in, it is up in Midtown, it is up in, it's the one that...

• 45:55Speaker 03

  I could talk parkways with you all day, Will, I really could. This is fun stuff.

• 46:01Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you love the Cross, the Cross Bronx, uh...

• 46:04Will Arnett?

  Expressway?

• 46:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 46:05Will Arnett?

  Oh. Oh, I do like the Cross Bronx.

• 46:08Jason Bateman?

  And what is the name of the Polish bridge, Kajunowski or whatever?

• 46:12Will Arnett?

  Pulaski.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Kuzmic.

• 46:13Will Arnett?

  Pulaski Bridge that's on the, that's on the, uh, BQE.

• 46:17Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 46:17Will Arnett?

  That's the Pulaski.

• 46:18Jason Bateman?

  She's got the first word.

• 46:19Will Arnett?

  No, is that right? Yeah.

• 46:20Jason Bateman?

  She's got the first name, you've got the last name.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm sorry, this Kuzmic is, is into Greenpoint. Am I thinking of the wrong bridge?

• 46:26Jason Bateman?

  No, I think you're thinking of the right one. Say it one more time.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Kuzmic? Will, you know what I'm talking, help me out.

• 46:33Jason Bateman?

  It's all lit up now. They got nice colored lights on it.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  Reach in and rescue me.

• 46:36Jason Bateman?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Is it not a bridge?

• 46:39Jason Bateman?

  It is a bridge.

• 46:40Will Arnett?

  But it's a, but it's an inter-Brooklyn Bridge though, right?

• 46:43Speaker 03

  This is chaos. Yes, I, yes, yes.

• 46:45Jason Bateman?

  We're in a four-wheel slide here on the Kuzmic.

• 46:49Will Arnett?

  This is pure chaos, you guys.

• 46:52Jason Bateman?

  A, uh, uh, you know, you know, Kate, here on my question list.

• 46:56Will Arnett?

  It's the Kuzmic, it's the Kuzmic Bridge. No, that's on the BQE.

• 46:59Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 46:59Will Arnett?

  Right? That's, that's the Kuzmic. That's the one that's on the BQE, the Kuzmic Bridge.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Thank you, because I thought I had lost my marbles.

• 47:07Will Arnett?

  You're right. When you come off, anyway, all right, so guys.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  On the Pulaski where, you know, where's your marbles there?

• 47:13Will Arnett?

  Traffic if we could. We got somebody on the marbles chopper up in the air.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Get me on the Veritons.

• 47:17Jason Bateman?

  You know, by the way, a little sidebar here. I'd like to start a, uh, a, a, a, a side, um, um.

• 47:23Will Arnett?

  Hustle?

• 47:24Jason Bateman?

  Something, yeah. I, I'd like to see Will Arnett host Saturday Night Live.

• 47:27Will Arnett?

  Oh, man.

• 47:28Jason Bateman?

  Can we get that momentum going, please?

• 47:30Speaker 03

  You never have, Will?

• 47:31Jason Bateman?

  I know, wouldn't you love to see?

• 47:32Speaker 03

  Jeez, Louis, oh, that would be incredible.

• 47:35Jason Bateman?

  What about for the movie coming out? Yes, for the movie coming out, yeah.

• 47:37Will Arnett?

  It's been too long, it's been too long.

• 47:38Jason Bateman?

  Who's running things over there now? Uh, Lindsay is, is, is, is she still there?

• 47:43Will Arnett?

  No.

• 47:44Jason Bateman?

  No? Oh, well, whoever is, is in there, let's, let's get Arnett over there, okay? At least as a musical guest.

• 47:50Will Arnett?

  Yeah, there's, there's too much, the history is too storied, you know what I mean?

• 47:54Jason Bateman?

  No, it's, they love that over there. Makes it for a great story.

• 47:57Will Arnett?

  Anyway.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Bring your bongos, Will, and just play the music.

• 48:00Will Arnett?

  Who told you about the bongos?

• 48:02Speaker 03

  I gave you those.

• 48:04Jason Bateman?

  Hey, if you couldn't.

• 48:05Will Arnett?

  You did give me those.

• 48:06Jason Bateman?

  Kate, if you weren't a New York Times bestselling author or America's Sweetheart on the TV.

• 48:14Jason Bateman?

  Or film, let's not forget about the film jobs. What would you be doing?

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Carpentry.

• 48:21Jason Bateman?

  Truly?

• 48:22Will Arnett?

  Really?

• 48:22Jason Bateman?

  You and Nick Offerman?

• 48:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:25Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 48:26Speaker 03

  And Jon Stewart, they say. I, no, it's a, it's a thing that, uh, yeah, folks are doing carpentry and so am I. And I am, I'm doing it and that's what, but I always said, I have always said.

• 48:38Jason Bateman?

  I know you have.

• 48:39Speaker 03

  That I would make cabinets, that I would want to make cabinets.

• 48:42Jason Bateman?

  It's true.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  And.

• 48:44Will Arnett?

  You're the world with that.

• 48:46Jason Bateman?

  No, it's, the whole Wiki page starts with that.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  And I, and I, and I, now I have made a cabinet.

• 48:51Will Arnett?

  Is that true?

• 48:52Jason Bateman?

  A real cabinet?

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Yes, I have.

• 48:53Jason Bateman?

  Do you do an Amish style with no nails?

• 48:55Speaker 03

  No. Not that good. I'm not a carpenter.

• 48:59Jason Bateman?

  It sounds like we're upstate when we're making cabinetry.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Sure thing.

• 49:03Jason Bateman?

  Sure. So you got, you got, you got like a handsome old farm, uh, like a barn up there that you've kind of refurbished?

• 49:10Speaker 03

  It's fine.

• 49:11Jason Bateman?

  Sure, no, I'll bet it's good.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  I've got a garage and I got a bunch of stuff in there.

• 49:15Jason Bateman?

  Tools.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  Bunch of stuff going on, yeah. So that's my, so when I.

• 49:20Will Arnett?

  You got a workshop in the garage?

• 49:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got a workshop.

• 49:22Jason Bateman?

  Wait, truly?

• 49:23Speaker 03

  You got a workshop?

• 49:23Jason Bateman?

  You've got a bench, you've got a bunch of, you've got a bunch of power tools and things like that? I bet there's fun to buy.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  I have, I have a lot.

• 49:29Jason Bateman?

  You love a Home Depot?

• 49:30Speaker 03

  I go to Lowe's. I have a local Lowe's.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  And yeah, that's what I, so when I left SNL, I needed to know that I was jumping to something. Which was making cabinets and that's what I have done, uh, in my spare time.

• 49:48Jason Bateman?

  And you've just done the one so far?

• 49:49Speaker 03

  I've done a bunch of stuff.

• 49:51Jason Bateman?

  Okay, you don't need to scream. What's your favorite? What's, what are you, are you most proud of the cabinet?

• 49:57Will Arnett?

  Lowe's, we nailed it. Sorry, go ahead. That was just a quick word from the gang over at Lowe's that just came through on my text. I'm so sorry. I'm fucking shameless, guys, I'm sorry. I just made forty-two hundred bucks.

• 50:12Jason Bateman?

  Wait, Kate, do you have, do you have a certain thing in woodworking that you feel like you're, you're best at, you know?

• 50:21Speaker 03

  Trim, molding, paneling.

• 50:24Jason Bateman?

  Keep it clean, please.

• 50:25Will Arnett?

  Oops, okay, sorry, different, sorry, okay. Hey Kate, by the way, this book, so, so I have a five-year-old.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:33Will Arnett?

  Is this book gonna be appropriate for my five-year-old?

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Okay, so the books, okay, so we, you know, I was joking before about the book being about a diver named Natalie. That's not true. The book is the second in a, it's the second book in a series of books called The Millicent Quib School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science, okay? And it's, it's a middle grade novel, which is for ages, you know, eight to 14. Harry Potter is a middle grade novel. Heard of it?

• 51:04Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Anyway, um, so.

• 51:07Jason Bateman?

  Coming at us.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  Roald Dahl was a middle grade author. Heard of him?

• 51:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Anyhors, so this, no, so I started writing this book, um, I, I came up with this idea with these characters like 10 years ago. And whenever I wasn't at SNL, I would be writing this thing. And then, so when I finished at SNL, finally, I had time to complete.

• 51:34Jason Bateman?

  What happens when she starts talking fast, you guys?

• 51:36Speaker 03

  The novel.

• 51:37Jason Bateman?

  Just leave her alone.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  And, um, and so this, so The Secrets of the Purple Pearl is the second in the Millicent Quib series. And it's about a mad scientist who starts a school for girls in a repressive, turn-of-the-century town. And then in the second one, The Purple Pearl, you know, they're at a hotel and they're having an adventure. And they're looking for a purple pearl.

• 51:55Will Arnett?

  No, I do like those, I do like those, um, those books are, what?

• 52:01Jason Bateman?

  The middle, what's it called?

• 52:02Speaker 03

  Middle grade, middle grade.

• 52:04Will Arnett?

  Middle grade, middle grade books are very important. I read Harry Potter when it first came out of the 90s, cause I was like, what's all the, what's all, what's going on with this? I wanna kinda know.

• 52:13Jason Bateman?

  In between your Holocaust books?

• 52:15Will Arnett?

  In between, in between.

• 52:16Jason Bateman?

  I mean, this guy, you have any questions on World War II, bring them to Willie A.

• 52:20Will Arnett?

  That's a true story. You know what, I'm not reading World War II stuff anymore.

• 52:23Jason Bateman?

  Oh, what did you, what did you move on to? Some sort of, uh?

• 52:26Will Arnett?

  I just finished.

• 52:27Speaker 03

  He knows the ending.

• 52:28Will Arnett?

  I do, that was the. I just read this book about the Siege of Mecca. That was a couple of weeks ago. And then I read Freedom by Jonathan Frenzen. That was really good. It's a little, it's older, but I just read it recently.

• 52:40Jason Bateman?

  That's fiction, though, yeah, Frenzen?

• 52:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, so it's really sort of broadened my horizon recently. Thank you. Were you writing, were you writing when you were like at SNL? Or did you have designs on writing literature in this way?

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Yes, I wanted to. I really, I wanted to be a YA, no, a middle grade novelist.

• 53:00Will Arnett?

  But why?

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Okay, so middle grade, so the thing about YA is it's like Monsters and Making Out. Love that. Middle grade is fantasy. It's discovering your identity. It's grappling with questions of, do you want to be? How do you want to appear in the world? Who are you? What are you for?

• 53:23Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  What are you fighting for? What are you willing to sacrifice to fight for it? These are the questions of middle grade. And so I'm very drawn to the genre. Also, it's, these books can be really funny and they, and people, characters can have really good funny names. And I think names and hair and funny voice are the most important that that does a character make.

• 53:51Jason Bateman?

  Now, what about the illustrations then in these books? How involved with you, with that are you?

• 53:56Speaker 03

  I would say that I was involved. The illustrator is a beautiful artist named Alfredo Casares, and he did such beautiful art. I did have like ideas of what the stuff, you know, because it's imagination. And I could see it in my mind. So I made little doodles and then he made beautiful art.

• 54:17Jason Bateman?

  So you had some notes? And was Alfredo amenable to your notes? Or was that an interesting creative negotiation?

• 54:24Speaker 03

  It was a beautiful collaborative process and he's, it was wonderful.

• 54:28Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  I described and he created.

• 54:32Will Arnett?

  Kate McKinnon, it's a Monday, and you have to talk to us donkeys. And then you hang up, you leave, you leave the publisher's house.

• 54:39Speaker 03

  Not donkeys, Kate.

• 54:41Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  You're some of my favorite comedians.

• 54:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what's the, yeah, what's the rest of your Monday?

• 54:46Will Arnett?

  Why are your eyes closed? You keep closing your eyes when you say that. Kate, when you leave, when you leave the publisher's office, where do you go? What do you do on a Monday like today? Had you not been doing this, what are you doing?

• 54:58Jason Bateman?

  Well, it's hot in New York. She's going to Union Square to sling popsicles, right?

• 55:01Will Arnett?

  No, but I mean, are you going to the movies? Are you going to a bookstore? Are you going for lunch? What are you, are you watching reality TV? What are you doing? This is the thing we want to know about Kate McKinnon, okay? Let's get inside, let's get inside the Monday. What are you doing?

• 55:11Speaker 03

  I do, I do, well, I, I, I'm gonna be doing some stonemasonry later, but that's another story. I do watch a lot of reality television.

• 55:20Jason Bateman?

  Oh, what's your favorite? Wait, are you a Love Island girl? Or are you an Alone girl?

• 55:26Speaker 03

  I have, I have done all of that.

• 55:28Jason Bateman?

  Try Outlast on Netflix.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  Outlast?

• 55:32Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, listen, I mean, you know, I'm totally buying it.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  Oh, you did, you did that?

• 55:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's fun. It's like a combo between Alone and Survivor.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  I really like that.

• 55:40Will Arnett?

  That's an aggregate show.

• 55:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  That's cool.

• 55:42Will Arnett?

  That's an aggregate joint?

• 55:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, we got a new one coming out.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Wow, you got your hands in a lot of pies.

• 55:47Will Arnett?

  Yeah, well, that got him in so much trouble, obviously, back in the day.

• 55:53Jason Bateman?

  So then, so you're gonna, so what?

• 55:55Speaker 03

  You're licking cherries off your stuff. Wow.

• 55:58Jason Bateman?

  So wait, so we're, so we're driving back upstate in your Volvo station?

• 56:02Will Arnett?

  The Volvo station?

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Prius.

• 56:04Jason Bateman?

  In a Prius?

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Prius hybrid.

• 56:06Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 56:07Will Arnett?

  Good for you.

• 56:07Jason Bateman?

  And you'll be there by, you'll be there, uh,

• 56:10Will Arnett?

  You'll be there 4:35.

• 56:11Jason Bateman?

  Well before dinner.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  Well, that depends on, on the traffic on the G-Dub.

• 56:15Jason Bateman?

  Are you, are you a cooker? Or do you, or do you like to order in?

• 56:18Speaker 03

  I cook every day, three times a day.

• 56:21Jason Bateman?

  This is an honest podcast.

• 56:22Will Arnett?

  Is that true?

• 56:22Speaker 03

  I cook every day, three times a day. I must.

• 56:25Will Arnett?

  What's the, what's the most, what's the most, uh, what's the thing that you cook the most frequently? For yourself? Yeah, you go to.

• 56:31Jason Bateman?

  What's your go-to?

• 56:32Speaker 03

  I cook, I, you know, I'm, I've become a gardener, big gardener. And I, um,

• 56:39Will Arnett?

  You got veggies, you got veggies.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  So I make, I just chop up whatever I've got and I just,

• 56:43Jason Bateman?

  Baster primavera.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  I do it, yeah.

• 56:45Will Arnett?

  And put, and plant parmigiana.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I do.

• 56:49Jason Bateman?

  Oh, my God.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  A mélange, a vegetable mélange over whatever I got.

• 56:53Will Arnett?

  I got, I got a question for you, and I want you to be honest with me on this.

• 56:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:58Will Arnett?

  Whitestone or Throggs Neck Bridge?

• 57:01Will Arnett?

  If you're going to Westchester.

• 57:02Speaker 03

  To get off Long Island?

• 57:03Will Arnett?

  I'm just saying, yeah, to get off Long Island.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Throggs Neck.

• 57:06Will Arnett?

  No, be honest.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Throggs Neck.

• 57:08Will Arnett?

  Throggs Neck. Throggs Neck!

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Throggs Neck!

• 57:11Will Arnett?

  Oh, shit, in a landslide.

• 57:14Jason Bateman?

  Hey, you know what? We're gonna take it out on a high note, right there.

• 57:19Speaker 03

  I don't touch the Whitestone.

• 57:20Will Arnett?

  Kate McKinnon, you're one of the all-time greats. You're a fucking comedy fucking heavyweight, I swear to God.

• 57:26Jason Bateman?

  You know your way around the tri-state area?

• 57:30Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 57:31Will Arnett?

  You can coax a laugh out of people.

• 57:32Jason Bateman?

  She can hammer a nail, she can pick a carrot.

• 57:35Will Arnett?

  You know how to coax a laugh.

• 57:37Jason Bateman?

  You're the best.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  I can pick a carrot.

• 57:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 57:40Speaker 03

  And I think you could too.

• 57:42Will Arnett?

  By the way, you just bought yourself a little discount next time you're going to Lowe's. That's guaranteed.

• 57:46Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, they nailed it.

• 57:47Will Arnett?

  Lowe's, we nailed it.

• 57:49Jason Bateman?

  And you know what else? Kate, you nailed it today, huh?

• 57:52Will Arnett?

  You did nail it.

• 57:52Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you, boys.

• 57:54Jason Bateman?

  And I know you don't like goodbyes, so when you're done, you can just slam that laptop and just blow us a little kiss and we'll pretend it's not over and we love you.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  I love you all.

• 58:08Jason Bateman?

  Can't wait to see you again. Did you get the script yet for Office Christmas Party 2? Just check your inbox, okay? We'll see you on set.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  I will. I thank you. I thank you. I'd like to play a different character.

• 58:18Jason Bateman?

  No, no, no, yeah, we're all gonna rotate.

• 58:20Speaker 03

  I'd like to play a desk.

• 58:22Will Arnett?

  Oh, so you two knew each other from that?

• 58:24Jason Bateman?

  A little bit.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  Oh, we.

• 58:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, we go so far back.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  We go back.

• 58:28Will Arnett?

  Bury the lead much?

• 58:29Speaker 03

  We go back.

• 58:30Jason Bateman?

  No, I don't like to talk about my own stuff. It's Black Rabbit, September 18th, there on Netflix, or Outlast, if you like reality.

• 58:37Will Arnett?

  Did you guys shoot that in Hiram, Georgia? Is that where you shot Office Christmas Party?

• 58:40Jason Bateman?

  Well, all I know is a lot of night shoots on a soundstage.

• 58:43Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 58:44Jason Bateman?

  Thanks, everybody. Love you, mean it.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 58:49Jason Bateman?

  Bye, Kate. We'll see you soon, Kate McKinnon. Everybody, read The Purple Pearl.

• 58:54Will Arnett?

  The Purple Pearl.

• 58:55Jason Bateman?

  And get ready for the next bit of acting from our miss here, because she's the tip-top.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  Thank you so much, fellas.

• 59:03Will Arnett?

  The great Kate McKinnon, guys.

• 59:04Jason Bateman?

  Thank you for doing the show, Kate.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  All right. Catch you later.

• 59:07Will Arnett?

  Bye, bye, bye.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Okay, bye.

• 59:08Jason Bateman?

  Bye. Slam it. Or you just leave it. There it is. Yeah!

• 59:14Jason Bateman?

  Well, now that is, she's just a nice person there with incredible levels of talent and creativity, all packed into one brain.

• 59:23Sean Hayes?

  And what a, yeah, what, she's made so many people laugh.

• 59:28Jason Bateman?

  Yep. You know, on that Wiki page, they've got all of her impressions listed that she did on Saturday Night Live.

• 59:35Sean Hayes?

  Incredible.

• 59:36Jason Bateman?

  It must be like 50 or 60 names there, and I didn't even start clicking on them because I would have been late for the record, but, good Christ.

• 59:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 59:44Jason Bateman?

  Do you guys do any impressions? Truly?

• 59:46Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 59:47Jason Bateman?

  Hey, Arnett, stop trying to Google a goodbye.

• 59:52Will Arnett?

  I'm not.

• 59:53Sean Hayes?

  I got one.

• 59:54Jason Bateman?

  Do you really? All right, keep it, keep it warm. Any impressions from either one of you? Or actually, Sean, we've heard your British cab driver, was it?

• 1:00:01Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, something like that.

• 1:00:03Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 1:00:04Sean Hayes?

  Uh, wait, what's an, what's an impression?

• 1:00:07Jason Bateman?

  An impression of like a famous person. Um, like, what about like?

• 1:00:12Sean Hayes?

  Remember, did you ever see that show?

• 1:00:17Jason Bateman?

  Take Your Time?

• 1:00:20Sean Hayes?

  Did you ever see that show, The Night Of? Did you ever see that show on HBO, The Night Of?

• 1:00:24Jason Bateman?

  Yes, sure.

• 1:00:25Sean Hayes?

  And that woman who, the, the older woman who played the prosecutor?

• 1:00:29Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is her name?

• 1:00:31Sean Hayes?

  What's her name?

• 1:00:32Jason Bateman?

  She's such an incredible actor.

• 1:00:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah, she's so good.

• 1:00:34Sean Hayes?

  I, I used to, I used to imitate her.

• 1:00:36Jason Bateman?

  That's very good.

• 1:00:37Sean Hayes?

  All the time.

• 1:00:38Jason Bateman?

  That's.

• 1:00:39Sean Hayes?

  I used to, we have to, I have it all on my shoulder here.

• 1:00:45Jason Bateman?

  Wait, by the way, you just reminded me of something.

• 1:00:47Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:48Jason Bateman?

  I saw over the weekend, Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called Weapons.

• 1:00:53Sean Hayes?

  Oh, I want to see that movie.

• 1:00:55Jason Bateman?

  This movie is so goddamn good. This guy, Zach Craig, writer-director, holy shit, is he talented. Julia Darner's in it, Josh Brolin's in it. This movie's so frickin' good, you guys. I'm, I'm serious.

• 1:01:08Sean Hayes?

  No, I heard, it's got 100% of rotten tomatoes.

• 1:01:11Jason Bateman?

  Amy Madigan plays somebody very disturbing and has got wigs and teeth and a voice.

• 1:01:16Sean Hayes?

  I'm all in.

• 1:01:17Jason Bateman?

  Oh my God, is it good.

• 1:01:18Sean Hayes?

  Wigs and a teeth, oh my God, I'd love wigs and teeth.

• 1:01:20Jason Bateman?

  It's, it's no, is this thing on? But it'll, it'll do until it comes out. Okay?

• 1:01:26Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Jason Bateman?

  And, and Oscar's keeping things, what is it? Keep it, keeping it tight, keeping it right with Oscar?

• 1:01:31Sean Hayes?

  Let's Ask Oscar, is that what it's called?

• 1:01:32Jason Bateman?

  Let's Ask Oscar.

• 1:01:33Will Arnett?

  No, well, it's actually called Good Night Oscar, but I wish it was called Good.

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Bye, Oscar.

• 1:01:42Will Arnett?

  Oh, Lord, help us. Cue the music.

• 1:01:56Will Arnett?

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• 1:02:14Jason Bateman?

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• 1:02:52Speaker 05

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