"Tig Notaro"

Ladies and gents, it’s our pal Tig Notaro. Party bits, dabbling for decades, a lesbian flying a helicopter, and a dream come true. Pop on your eagle jacket and hop in your Zamboni; it’s an all-new SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. You know, I'm lucky to have a lot of friends and having them over is great, but with hosting comes all the tedious stuff. The planning, keeping track of who's coming, managing schedules, making sure everything actually comes together. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop. It comes with Google AI Pro, so you can create custom tasks with Gemini. For example, you can tell it to track RSVPs and manage your calendar, and it does that for you, even when the laptop's closed. So there's more time to focus on the fun parts of hosting. Basically, Google Book works hard, so you don't have to. Visit googlebook.com. Available in the Gemini app to Google AI Pro users

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  in select regions for 18-plus users. Check responses for accuracy. Supervise closely. Interrupt when needed.

• 0:54Sean Hayes?

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• 1:31Sean Hayes?

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• 2:07Sean Hayes?

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• 2:48Sean Hayes?

  Hey, guys. Welcome to the show today. I hope you're feeling really good. I got a hat on. You guys don't. Are you jealous of my hat?

• 2:55Jason Bateman?

  I've got a microphone, though. I'm ready to go with a microphone and a couple of headphones here. Let's.

• 3:03Will Arnett?

  And that just leaves me, and all I got is a really bad attitude.

• 3:07Sean Hayes?

  Oh, no, and a bad speech thing. We're doing.

• 3:10Will Arnett?

  Welcome to Smartless.

• 3:11Sean Hayes?

  Oh, boy.

• 3:30Sean Hayes?

  You know, Sean, you look like you look a little bit more blonde today. I know. Did you do a rinse this morning? No, I got a haircut yesterday, and I didn't color it. I gotta color it. It's a little too.

• 3:41Will Arnett?

  Nice try. I saw Sean yesterday happen to be at CVS, and he was buying. He bought three things of sun in. And he sprayed a bunch of sun in.

• 3:51Sean Hayes?

  It is a little lighter than normal, and I don't like it. So I'm gonna color it a little bit.

• 3:56Will Arnett?

  Now, is Skevo gonna get it? Sorry, go ahead. You go ahead.

• 3:59Jason Bateman?

  Sorry, yeah, because I hang on a sec, Will. This is important. What kind of color?

• 4:02Will Arnett?

  No, I know. I want to get to Skevo, though.

• 4:04Jason Bateman?

  Skevo, the greatest name in all of hairdressing.

• 4:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Jason Bateman?

  Sean, what is the color that one tries to target usually? Is there a name for it?

• 4:17Will Arnett?

  A name for it.

• 4:18Sean Hayes?

  There's no name.

• 4:19Jason Bateman?

  Is it burnt sienna?

• 4:21Sean Hayes?

  No, it's like number five and number two or whatever they have, yeah.

• 4:24Jason Bateman?

  Well, you blend, it's a blend.

• 4:25Sean Hayes?

  It's a blend, but I know you don't like when I color my hair, but I like it.

• 4:29Jason Bateman?

  Well, you, well, I want, I like what you like, um, but I just want to make sure you know that I need no color to love you any more than I do.

• 4:37Sean Hayes?

  Well, that's true.

• 4:38Jason Bateman?

  I'm at max.

• 4:40Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Will Arnett?

  I'm, I'm sorry. I'm still reeling. I can't believe you blend five and two. I, honestly, I think the coloring world is gonna be, I'm gonna have to call Eli, our buddy Eli Thomas, Skevo, we should have a conference of all the hair guys we know. We'll get McMillan in there.

• 4:57Jason Bateman?

  Old, sweet, sweet Chris.

• 4:59Will Arnett?

  Chris McMillan, and, and we'll bring them all in.

• 5:02Jason Bateman?

  Is Skevo short for anything?

• 5:04Sean Hayes?

  Uh, no, he is a shorter fellow, but no, his name is, full name is Skevo.

• 5:07Will Arnett?

  I met it.

• 5:07Jason Bateman?

  Do you call him anything for short? What would be short for Skevo?

• 5:10Sean Hayes?

  Hey, Skev.

• 5:11Will Arnett?

  Oh, sometimes you drop the O, huh? What, like if you're in a rut?

• 5:15Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Will Arnett?

  If you've got, if you're running a bunch of errands and...

• 5:20Jason Bateman?

  What's his last name? Cause usually the last name's more spicy than the first.

• 5:24Sean Hayes?

  I'm gonna tell you right now, we can cut out this pause while I look it up.

• 5:28Will Arnett?

  Please be, please be Miller.

• 5:30Sean Hayes?

  His, um, last name is Zamb- Zambilla? Zambilla?

• 5:34Jason Bateman?

  Zamboni.

• 5:35Sean Hayes?

  Zambilis.

• 5:36Will Arnett?

  Would you say that you guys are tight?

• 5:39Sean Hayes?

  Super tight.

• 5:40Jason Bateman?

  Hey, uh, Will, by the way, I, I played golf the other day with the guy whose grandmother, I believe I'm getting this right, semi-right, uh, invented the Zamboni.

• 5:49Will Arnett?

  Oh, oh, I've played, I've played golf with that guy too.

• 5:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and it, it happened down here in like Paramount, California, surprisingly, not in Canada.

• 5:58Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 5:59Jason Bateman?

  And Tracy, the Zamboni is the machine, the little, the sweet little car or truck or minivan that you drive over the ice rinks to make it smooth and, uh,

• 6:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 6:07Jason Bateman?

  and shiny.

• 6:08Will Arnett?

  Cleans the ice, uses, you know, hot water and thing and then drags and smoothes it out. It's the one thing for hockey that's heard it in terms of viewing because they have the ice between periods and therefore the, the intermissions are so long.

• 6:22Jason Bateman?

  They're not that long.

• 6:24Will Arnett?

  It's, you know, 20 minutes and it's detrimental.

• 6:27Jason Bateman?

  There is no alternative. Why don't they get two out there?

• 6:30Will Arnett?

  They do. They generally do. Pro games, they do, yeah.

• 6:33Jason Bateman?

  Maybe they need three.

• 6:35Will Arnett?

  They might need three. I don't know.

• 6:37Sean Hayes?

  I was, you know, um.

• 6:38Jason Bateman?

  Oh wait, Sean's got something on this.

• 6:40Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 6:40Sean Hayes?

  Well, Michelle Pfeiffer's character's name in Grease 2 was Stephanie Zanoni. I always thought it was Zamboni.

• 6:46Will Arnett?

  Huh.

• 6:47Jason Bateman?

  So, listen.

• 6:48Will Arnett?

  Oh, we, sorry. Do you want to go down? Do you have a list of stuff you misheard over the years?

• 6:53Jason Bateman?

  Okay. Dudes, every once in a while, we get to have a guest on that is also our friend. Today is one of those days. I love every moment I spend with this woman and always wish for more. She's funny, but never on. She's kind and warm, but never one of those smiley creeps. She's done movies, television, radio, podcasts, written a bestseller. She's been nominated for Emmys and Grammys. She's got two kids, one wife. She started in Mississippi and now she's right here. Say good morning to the great Tig Notaro.

• 7:24Sean Hayes?

  Oh, Tig.

• 7:25Jason Bateman?

  Tig.

• 7:26Sean Hayes?

  Tig Notaro.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  I love that I was described to a T and Sean's still like, who could this possibly be?

• 7:35Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I had to zip through it.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  You're sounding remotely familiar.

• 7:38Will Arnett?

  I knew and I knew and I didn't, I knew and I didn't say anything because I didn't want my disappointment to come through the microphone so early.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  How dare you.

• 7:48Will Arnett?

  And not even disappointment, outrage.

• 7:51Jason Bateman?

  Now, uh, hey Tig.

• 7:52Sean Hayes?

  Tig, your hair is growing out. It looks good.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Oh, it just started today. I'm surprised you noticed.

• 7:57Jason Bateman?

  No way has it grown.

• 7:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you really pushed hard for that.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  I just started growing it out today. I woke up and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna grow my hair out. And I, and I can't believe you noticed.

• 8:10Will Arnett?

  Day one, please do one of those things. You take a snapshot every day for 365 and then put it together as a video and set it to a really sad song.

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 8:18Jason Bateman?

  Hey Tig, speaking of sad songs, are both your parents still with us?

• 8:23Speaker 03

  All three are dead.

• 8:24Jason Bateman?

  Three?

• 8:25Sean Hayes?

  Three.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  Well, I had a stepfather that raised me.

• 8:27Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  And in fact, not only is he dead, but...

• 8:32Sean Hayes?

  He's not coming back.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  He is not, he has no way back to town. Couple of years ago, when he died, and we were having his funeral in Mississippi, it was an outdoor burial. And we were talking to the priest, was saying, "How do you want to do this? It's more casual outside." I said, "Well, I was gonna say something." And my brother said, "Well, I'll go first. I'll just say something really quick." And he walks up, and he fell into the grave.

• 9:06Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 9:06Will Arnett?

  No.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yes, he did.

• 9:09Jason Bateman?

  What, is that true?

• 9:10Speaker 03

  It is very true. And my entire family is sitting there, and you see everyone just go, "Oh, shit." And my brother, and there's like this tarp over the hole, and you just see my brother slowly, like it caught him a little bit, but he's slowly going down. And, yeah.

• 9:29Jason Bateman?

  I mean, that would be overwritten in a comedy.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  I know, it's too much. And we're trying to help him out.

• 9:35Will Arnett?

  Had he had a few? Had he had a few?

• 9:37Speaker 03

  No, no. It was, no.

• 9:39Jason Bateman?

  He's just blind?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  No, they, the place messed up. They were supposed to put plywood over it, and you see the people from the...

• 9:49Sean Hayes?

  I love that the lawsuit says, "The place messed up." Or suing you because you messed up.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  That's the legal terminology.

• 9:56Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  "We messed up, we messed up."

• 9:58Jason Bateman?

  What was the effort like getting him out? Was it tough to get him out?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Well, we were like, "Oh, my gosh," trying to help him out. He's like, "No, no, no, I'm okay." And he's pulling himself out like the Night of the Living Dead, like, with his dirty suit, just grab, you know, grabbing dirt and grass, trying to pull himself out of the hole. Like, he was not gonna let anybody pull him out.

• 10:20Will Arnett?

  Have you ever had a nightmare with that? Has that imagery ever come back to you, like, sort of?

• 10:26Speaker 03

  No, that was like a dream come true. That was a nightmare. That was like, "Oh, my God." I couldn't believe... My stepfather did not get to see that happen.

• 10:35Will Arnett?

  Right. And you couldn't believe your luck that you got to witness it too.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Well, and immediately I thought, oh, my God, this must happen all the time. And then I was like, wait, this can't happen all the time.

• 10:46Will Arnett?

  In Mississippi is the end of that. In Mississippi is the end of that sentence.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  And people ask, they're like, oh, how come, what's it with, you know, all of these stories from the South and Mississippi? And I'm like, I have no idea, but I truly just show up, look around and head home with stories like that. I really.

• 11:08Jason Bateman?

  Well, was that, what about, is that, did you, was Army of the Dead about zombies? You did an Army of the Dead.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Ooh, good transition. Army of the Dead, I did do Army of the Dead, yeah. In fact, I did it on green screen.

• 11:21Jason Bateman?

  Right, because famously, you replaced a fella on that, right?

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 11:27Jason Bateman?

  And so you had to shoot everything on green screen and then they superimposed you into a film that was already shot, correct?

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, easy enough.

• 11:35Jason Bateman?

  Were there zombies in it?

• 11:37Speaker 03

  There were. There were zombies.

• 11:39Sean Hayes?

  So were you like, ah, ah, but nothing was there? Oh.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Sean, you saw the movie, I guess.

• 11:45Sean Hayes?

  Well, I've done some green tree knacking. I've done some green tree knacking.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I had to, I flew the, the escape, like, the helicopter to.

• 11:57Jason Bateman?

  Get in!

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:58Jason Bateman?

  I've gotta take off!

• 12:00Speaker 03

  And I had to do, that's not my typical, you know, acting role where I'm yelling things and fighting things and had to do it all on green screen.

• 12:09Sean Hayes?

  And just literally like three feet away is crap service, just three feet away.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, through every scene, you see me grabbing a donut and it's all on camera.

• 12:18Jason Bateman?

  But you didn't have to, you weren't a zombie yourself. You didn't have to get in any zombie makeup, did you?

• 12:22Speaker 03

  No, I was just, I think, a lesbian.

• 12:25Will Arnett?

  Those zombies aren't flying helicopters.

• 12:27Jason Bateman?

  It's just a lesbian flying a helicopter. Is that what you said?

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  I think that's what I am in everything.

• 12:36Jason Bateman?

  No, Tig. No, what about in Star Trek?

• 12:39Speaker 03

  I'm a lesbian in space.

• 12:40Jason Bateman?

  There's lesbians in space?

• 12:42Speaker 03

  There are now.

• 12:43Jason Bateman?

  There are?

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:45Jason Bateman?

  Now, do you have to wear any, any alien makeup in, in Star Trek?

• 12:49Speaker 03

  No, no. They, in fact, they barely put any makeup on me, I think, because they really wanna

• 12:54Sean Hayes?

  What if they just put jabs of lipstick and like, really?

• 12:58Speaker 03

  Big eyelashes.

• 12:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:01Sean Hayes?

  Or you're just sexually active.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Massive cleavage, too.

• 13:05Jason Bateman?

  No, truly?

• 13:06Speaker 03

  No.

• 13:07Sean Hayes?

  No, no.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  My tits are in a dumpster.

• 13:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  In Hollywood.

• 13:12Jason Bateman?

  Isn't that the title of your new special?

• 13:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 13:17Jason Bateman?

  All right. Hey Tig, let's go back to the very beginning, all right? So we're in Mississippi. All right? We're in Mississippi.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  Everyone's alive.

• 13:26Jason Bateman?

  Everybody's alive, everybody's happy.

• 13:28Sean Hayes?

  That's a good way to start.

• 13:30Jason Bateman?

  Now, but you did start as a rock band manager type of promoter, I'll help you get on stage and from city to city type of person.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:44Jason Bateman?

  Yes?

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:46Will Arnett?

  Dude, have you ever spoken English before? What the fuck is going on?

• 13:50Jason Bateman?

  I'm such a journalist. Now, but, but, you know, I do, I do love that about our show. Every once in a while, as I said in the, in the intro, we get a friend on here and I end up learning so much more about them than I've ever learned in our personal life.

• 14:01Will Arnett?

  And why do you think that is?

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Well, cause you don't take time to ask.

• 14:04Jason Bateman?

  I don't ask questions.

• 14:05Will Arnett?

  Sidebar for a second, you do, you don't ask questions about other people, right?

• 14:08Jason Bateman?

  Hey, Wayne, keep it quiet.

• 14:11Sean Hayes?

  Wayne.

• 14:12Will Arnett?

  You know what I mean?

• 14:13Jason Bateman?

  So, uh, so, but what about this? So you were, you've managed bands?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Well, I really love music and I play a little guitar, a little drums.

• 14:23Jason Bateman?

  Drums, yeah, I read that, I read that.

• 14:24Sean Hayes?

  And you're a lesbian, you said, just to go back.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  And I'm a lesbian, so.

• 14:29Will Arnett?

  Oh, just a little bit. Sorry, I got confused.

• 14:33Jason Bateman?

  And these are drums with sticks, not the hand drums?

• 14:36Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no. That's, um, see, I'm still dabbling as a lesbian, so I'm playing actual drums. Once you cross over, then you start doing drum circles.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  I've been dabbling for decades, not sold on it. But, um, but yeah, I, uh, I was too shy to perform. I tried and it was nerve wracking. And so, um, my first girlfriend played in a band and so I just started booking the band and working in music and the music.

• 15:12Will Arnett?

  How long was that? You did that?

• 15:14Speaker 03

  I don't know, maybe three years.

• 15:17Jason Bateman?

  And are we, are we driving around in a van? Are we?

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, like we went on tour in a van. You mean like that? Like when we were touring? Yeah, we were in a van. One time we actually rented a friend of ours Bronco and while we were on tour, the hood flew up and, um, like bent in half and.

• 15:40Jason Bateman?

  Wow. And you couldn't see anything?

• 15:42Speaker 03

  We couldn't see anything.

• 15:43Jason Bateman?

  My God, that's my worst nightmare. I literally thought about that just the other day. I was watching, I could have sworn the hood was vibrating a little bit. I thought, what if this thing flies up and it's like a bad Chevy Chase moment?

• 15:54Sean Hayes?

  Could have that, like an SUV type of thing?

• 15:56Jason Bateman?

  A Bronco.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it was like an old Bronco.

• 15:59Sean Hayes?

  And so if the top goes off, why can't you see? Cause there's still a windshield.

• 16:02Will Arnett?

  The hood.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Have you been in a car?

• 16:05Sean Hayes?

  The hood, the hood. Sorry, sorry. I thought you meant the roof of the car.

• 16:07Will Arnett?

  Are you catching every, are you catching every third word?

• 16:10Sean Hayes?

  Actually about every fourth word.

• 16:12Jason Bateman?

  So now, but Tig.

• 16:14Will Arnett?

  What kind of music was, what kind of music was the band or the bands?

• 16:18Speaker 03

  You know, I mean, folk rock. Yeah, of course, of course. What else?

• 16:23Jason Bateman?

  So, but now, but you decided to, uh, to help this band out because you wanted to have a seat that was less exposed to the spotlight. Uh, but then while you're doing this, you said, well, hang on a second. Maybe I actually wanted. I want to be upfront again. I want to do stand up now where there's nothing between you and the audience.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  Yes, well, the

• 16:44Jason Bateman?

  What happened?

• 16:45Speaker 03

  I moved my, my very good friends that I grew up with that are still very close to me. We moved from Denver. We were living in Denver at the time and, and we moved from Denver to LA and they moved there to pursue TV and film.

• 17:02Jason Bateman?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  And I was newly out of a relationship and I was like, well, I guess I'll just go with you. And so I went and then when I got there, I saw in the LA Weekly, all of the different opportunities to do stand up, which had been my top secret dream.

• 17:21Sean Hayes?

  Oh, how about that?

• 17:22Jason Bateman?

  Even though you were shy?

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Even though I was shy. And so I spent the first two weeks going to every open mic I could possibly go to and then I

• 17:32Jason Bateman?

  Oh my God, how nerve wracking. I'm getting nervous just thinking about it. What was that first?

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Don't worry, it all works out. Okay. I end up on Smartless.

• 17:38Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Ding ding. Now, wait, would you, would you, would you just like climb into a bottom of a bottle before you got up there? Like, how did you get over this initial stage fright and get up there and start doing it?

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Um, well, somebody had canceled at the show that I was watching and I asked the person, which is so, I should dig this footage up.

• 18:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  I have footage of myself talking into a flashlight in a mirror, working out material in my studio apartment.

• 18:11Jason Bateman?

  Amazing.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  For those two weeks.

• 18:13Jason Bateman?

  Amazing.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  And so I was practicing in the mirror with, in my flashlight.

• 18:18Sean Hayes?

  You just, all you had to do is flip it on, you could tell ghost stories right after.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Exactly. And so I, I had all of this stuff worked out over those two weeks that I had been living in LA. And then I asked the person, I was like, hey, can I, can I go on stage? And, and she was like, sure. And so I did. And when I say it went well, if you showed me the footage now.

• 18:38Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  It'd be horrifying.

• 18:41Will Arnett?

  But, but, but, but Tig, what was the first, what was the first thing you said?

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Okay, the very first thing is a true story. My friend who I rented the Bronco from.

• 18:55Will Arnett?

  Yeah. Who's mad at you because of the

• 18:57Jason Bateman?

  Returned it without

• 18:58Speaker 03

  The hood, yeah. We all, we moved beyond that. We got the car fixed and remained friends. So, um, my friend, his name was Ro.

• 19:07Jason Bateman?

  Hey, Ro.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Well, he passed away sadly, but, um.

• 19:11Jason Bateman?

  Everyone's dead.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Anyway, Ro called me and told me our mutual friend Johnny was gonna be in Denver.

• 19:19Will Arnett?

  Can we say hi to Johnny?

• 19:21Jason Bateman?

  Johnny still with us?

• 19:22Speaker 03

  I don't know where Johnny is. Say hi to Johnny.

• 19:24Will Arnett?

  Hi Johnny.

• 19:25Jason Bateman?

  Johnny.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  So he told me that our mutual friend was gonna be in town when I was living in Denver. He said Johnny's band is gonna be there. You should go see him. And he hooked me up with the road manager for me to get, um, tickets to Johnny's show. This is some backstory.

• 19:43Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 19:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I'll say, I'll say.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Oh, there's more.

• 19:47Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  And so, um, so I called Johnny's road manager.

• 19:52Jason Bateman?

  What was the number?

• 19:54Speaker 03

  This is where the story kicks in.

• 19:56Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 19:57Speaker 03

  So I called the road manager and I, and I said, I'm Johnny's friend. Could I get tickets to the show? And he said, yes. And then at the end of the conversation, he says, now, I don't feel comfortable calling you this, but I guess I'll see you tonight, pig. And, um, and I said, oh, I said, I actually don't feel comfortable calling you or with you calling me pig either. I said, my name is actually Tig. And he said, yeah, that's what I said, pig. And I said, no, it's Tig with a T. And he said, tit? And then I just said, yeah, that's right. It's pig tit. I'll see you tonight. So, anyway, that was my first, that was my first story.

• 20:42Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 20:44Jason Bateman?

  That must have killed. Now, what, this, this, your name Tig was given to you by your brother when you were two years old.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:51Jason Bateman?

  See, guys, I know how to research it. And.

• 20:54Will Arnett?

  Well, it's more fun to just ask her how she got it and then she tells us that rather, you know what I mean?

• 20:59Jason Bateman?

  Oh, fuck, wait.

• 21:01Will Arnett?

  Fuck it.

• 21:02Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  We can do it.

• 21:03Jason Bateman?

  Are we still rolling?

• 21:03Speaker 03

  We do it a few different ways and then just see which.

• 21:06Jason Bateman?

  Let's just.

• 21:07Will Arnett?

  Why are you sweating, babe?

• 21:08Jason Bateman?

  I mean. Okay.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  He loves me.

• 21:12Jason Bateman?

  Your real name, I think, is one of the best names in the history of names.

• 21:17Sean Hayes?

  I don't even, I've known you for 75,000 years. I don't even know your real name.

• 21:20Jason Bateman?

  Can we say it? We can say it. It's on Wikipedia.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  I don't even know if you'd pronounce it correctly. I know what you think it is.

• 21:25Jason Bateman?

  Oh, well then, no, but that's a good hint.

• 21:27Will Arnett?

  Well, let's hear that. Let's hear what he thinks it is.

• 21:28Jason Bateman?

  Can I guess the correct pronunciation?

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Hmm, yes.

• 21:32Jason Bateman?

  Matilda.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  That's correct.

• 21:35Jason Bateman?

  Matilda.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  Uh, no, it's Matiel.

• 21:37Jason Bateman?

  Oh.

• 21:38Sean Hayes?

  Matiel?

• 21:39Jason Bateman?

  Well, then what happens to the D?

• 21:40Sean Hayes?

  M A T H I L L E.

• 21:42Speaker 03

  M A T H I L D E, but it's pronounced Matiel.

• 21:47Sean Hayes?

  Matiel. So you don't, the D E is, no, there's no use of that?

• 21:50Jason Bateman?

  That's French Creole. Yes?

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Uh, I think it's just French.

• 21:54Jason Bateman?

  French.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  My mother was Matiel, my grandmother was Matiel, my grandmother went by Teal, my mother went by Suzie, and I go by Tig.

• 22:01Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 22:02Jason Bateman?

  And then why did, why did your young brother, uh, come up with Tig?

• 22:06Speaker 03

  He was older than me. He couldn't pronounce Tig, or he couldn't pronounce Matiel, and somehow, somehow he came up with Tig, and so, um...

• 22:14Jason Bateman?

  And his, his name is Ro-Rod.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  Renaud.

• 22:19Jason Bateman?

  Renaud.

• 22:20Sean Hayes?

  Renaud.

• 22:21Will Arnett?

  Is R E N A U L T, Renaud?

• 22:23Speaker 03

  R E N A U D.

• 22:25Will Arnett?

  A U D, Renaud, Renaud.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Renaud.

• 22:27Sean Hayes?

  Wait, who was French? So people speak French?

• 22:30Speaker 03

  My mother.

• 22:30Will Arnett?

  Is Renaud still with us?

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Yes, he's the one that fell in the grave and left.

• 22:34Will Arnett?

  Oh, he's the one who, Renaud, let's just shout out to Renaud. Savard, Renaud.

• 22:38Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, Renaud. I have one cigarette.

• 22:40Will Arnett?

  And you came back with a Renaud.

• 22:41Jason Bateman?

  Baguette.

• 22:42Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 22:44Jason Bateman?

  And we will be right back.

• 22:48Sean Hayes?

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• 23:33Sean Hayes?

  red velvet, and peanut butter mousse. I wish I could have each one of those right now. After all, great nutrition only works if you actually want to keep eating it, right? Order Stars and Honey Protein Bars at starsandhoney.com or find them at Target stores nationwide. That's starsandhoney.com or pick up a box on your next Target shopping trip.

• 23:56Sean Hayes?

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• 24:39Sean Hayes?

  Basically, Harvey is helping legal teams spend less time on repetitive work and more time on the big-picture stuff. This is how the future of agreements is being crafted now. Harvey. Learn more at harvey.ai. That's harvey.ai. Harvey does not provide legal advice. Users should always independently review and verify any output provided by Harvey.

• 25:02Sean Hayes?

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• 25:46Sean Hayes?

  I love Thanksgiving. I love all of it. I went falls out with the front of my house and decorated the whole thing with pumpkins and like harvest stuff and it was, it looks really, really cool. And I got a little teak bench from Wayfair to put stuff on around it. And it now looks just, it's, it looks really, really cool and cozy. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 26:21Sean Hayes?

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• 27:06Sean Hayes?

  you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. Plus, BetterHelp makes it easy to fit therapy into your routine with flexible ways to connect. As we head towards the end of the year, it can be a good time to make some space for yourself. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/smartless. That's better H E L P dot com slash smartless.

• 27:35Will Arnett?

  And now, back to the show.

• 27:38Sean Hayes?

  Um, wait, I want to know, like, back to the stand-up, and that was a really funny story. Did you know, because-

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 27:45Sean Hayes?

  You're welcome.

• 27:46Will Arnett?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 27:47Sean Hayes?

  Was there-

• 27:48Will Arnett?

  Fight, Tig, come on.

• 27:51Will Arnett?

  You don't-

• 27:51Sean Hayes?

  Is there a-

• 27:52Speaker 03

  We'll stay out of this, okay?

• 27:53Will Arnett?

  Oh, God.

• 27:54Sean Hayes?

  Was there, um, did you know, because when I first did it, I was terrible.

• 27:58Will Arnett?

  This is where we take a break, sorry, Tig.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  You did stand-up?

• 28:01Will Arnett?

  Hang on, this is, Tig, we always do this, when we're taking breaks. Sean, and why don't you just tell, our audience knows, but tell Tig what your first joke was. Let's, let's go ahead.

• 28:09Sean Hayes?

  Well, I think-

• 28:10Speaker 03

  It's not pig tit, is it?

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Sean was it?

• 28:15Sean Hayes?

  It's a callback, no.

• 28:16Will Arnett?

  Sean was it?

• 28:17Sean Hayes?

  My first joke was, well, I'll do two, because one's not even, one was, they say ballet is one of the most difficult things you could do, so just don't do it. That was the first one, and then the second one was-

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Wait, I'm sorry, that was the joke?

• 28:30Will Arnett?

  There was a joke.

• 28:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 28:34Sean Hayes?

  You gotta be quick.

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Say it again?

• 28:35Will Arnett?

  You're with it, you're on it, you're right on it, Tig.

• 28:38Sean Hayes?

  They say doing ballet is one of the most difficult things you could do, so I say just don't do it. And then the second one was-

• 28:45Speaker 03

  What was the second part of your speech?

• 28:48Will Arnett?

  Appropriate joke, appropriate response.

• 28:49Sean Hayes?

  And then the second one was really bad, it was, there's not even a joke.

• 28:52Will Arnett?

  Wait a second.

• 28:53Jason Bateman?

  It got worse.

• 28:56Will Arnett?

  Go ahead with the second one, Sean.

• 28:58Sean Hayes?

  Because I didn't know how to-

• 28:59Will Arnett?

  Now you've got the audience-

• 29:00Speaker 03

  Guys, he's on a roll, let him go, and then what?

• 29:02Will Arnett?

  He had the audience with that first one, and, and you finished-

• 29:06Sean Hayes?

  I didn't know how to write a joke.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  What was your closer?

• 29:09Sean Hayes?

  My closer, my closer was something like, hey, isn't it funny when you see people outside in public call their pet for the first time? Like, you know, hey, Spot, hey, whatever, but like, what if it's like, hey, mustard, come here, hey, ketchup? And it was, there's not even a joke, it's just bad.

• 29:25Will Arnett?

  No.

• 29:25Sean Hayes?

  And but at night, at 22 years old, I'm like, this is gonna kill. And it was terr- I mean, I don't even know what the joke is.

• 29:32Will Arnett?

  It's, honestly, it's mystifying-

• 29:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 29:35Will Arnett?

  That, that somebody would just have, not just have the balls to get up and do it, we know how scary that is, I'm not a stand-up, neither-

• 29:42Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, but then be that bad.

• 29:43Will Arnett?

  But to go, but to go up and, and think.

• 29:46Sean Hayes?

  Think, right, that you could just talk.

• 29:48Will Arnett?

  Would be an appropriate thing to say in front of a group of people. Fuck as a comedy, just to say out loud as a, as a thought.

• 29:55Jason Bateman?

  And to relay that in front of someone who was, take, you had the number one selling comedy album in the world in 2013.

• 30:05Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:05Will Arnett?

  Number one.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  Even without Sean writing my material.

• 30:10Will Arnett?

  Take, is there a way, is there any way you could make Sean's, either of Sean's, and I'm gonna use the term joke loosely, would you ever be able to make that work on stage? Do you think that that's?

• 30:22Jason Bateman?

  Change the name of the animal from mustard or ketchup to something that would be a little bit funnier to hear yelled across a park?

• 30:28Sean Hayes?

  Or just set the, or just construct a joke about it, which was my question, which was I was getting at, which was like, did, when you got up and, because you're a very great storyteller, and a lot of your comedy comes from things that have happened to you in life.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 30:40Sean Hayes?

  Did you?

• 30:40Will Arnett?

  Fucking hell. Honest to fucking God, Tim.

• 30:44Sean Hayes?

  Did you, how did you learn how to craft, like, the rhythm of a joke or a story? Because I got, at the point of me telling you how bad I was, I got up and thought I could just talk. And were you that way when you first started? Or did you know how to write?

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Well, I thought, and I, I realized I must be like everybody else, that you go watch stand up and you think, oh my God, I can do this. Everybody that does stand up thinks, oh my God, this is, and you know, there's, I get calls from people that are like, oh, my friend at work is so funny, he's moving to LA, can you meet with him? It's like, yeah, everybody in the office is hilarious, everybody watching stand up thinks they can do it. And it just was, you know, I took the leap like everybody else, and I think my first one did go well. And then I signed up for a competition the second time I did stand up, and I bombed so hard. And the only thing I heard in the audience, aside from silence, was my friend Derek choking

• 31:43Speaker 03

  to death laughing at me. And then I ran off stage and we drove back from Orange County back to LA. But, um, but it's just been a process of, you know, of... I mean, I thought I could do it. I have been doing it and, you know, I started out doing kind of deadpan one-liners and then they kind of got longer and I experimented.

• 32:10Will Arnett?

  I will say.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Will, I'm talking.

• 32:12Will Arnett?

  No, I was gonna tell you something. I know. We always interrupt. This is our hallmark of our show is interrupting.

• 32:17Jason Bateman?

  The show is not for the guests.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  So then, once I was finally... No, go ahead, Will.

• 32:20Will Arnett?

  Well, I just wanted to say, what I was kind of agreeing, I wanted to say that it's not surprising and kind of going off what Sean said, it's not surprising because you have one of those, you are the type of person, and I don't know you that well, but we've known each other over the years a little bit and gotten to know each other a little bit more, you are a very funny, and it's not true for all stand-ups, and you're not just a stand-up, but you are a very naturally funny person. You don't have a choice in it. I will say that. Like, I don't think that...

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 32:52Will Arnett?

  Fuck, no, Sean gets that one.

• 32:58Will Arnett?

  And you are a very naturally funny, so, you know, I think that it does come, I'm not surprised that the first time you went up that you were able to sort of connect with the audience because you're a very naturally funny person. I will say that. That's what I wanted to say.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Well, I appreciate that. Well, and certainly, after I thought I had gotten my bearings in stand-up, I thought, well, I've got this, and I booked my first gig on the road, and it was like in this comedy club in a strip mall, and I had only done shows in Los Angeles in like kind of hip rooms and whatever, and then now I'm like in the middle of nowhere strip mall, and I was staying with friends, and they let me use their car, but the venue actually will put you up at a condo, and they have a car for comedians, and I was

• 33:53Speaker 03

  like, oh, I don't need the car, but thanks, and this club was called Wit's End in Denver.

• 34:01Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's good.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  And I bombed. This is my first road gig. I bombed the entire weekend. And then I hear, before the second show on Friday, or Saturday, I hear the owner saying, "Where is our emergency fill-in comedian?" And I was thinking, "Oh, no. What happened to Nancy?" Because I was thinking, "Something must have happened." I was mortified. I thought she died. And he was like, "Has anyone heard from the emergency fill-in comedian?" And I'm like, "What the hell?" And then, and then he walks up to me and gives me my check and fires me.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  And it was so mortifying. It's, again, my first gig on the road. It's the holiday season. I walk out the front door and I'm like, "Oh, no. I forgot my friends were coming that night." So my friends are in line to get into the show. And they're like, "Woo, we're so excited." And I was like, I said, "Oh, I was just fired." My comedy was so bad, it caused an emergency. And so they're bringing in a fill-in comedian. Like, they couldn't even stomach me for the rest, like, that last night. So, they said, "Let's all go meet at the Mercury Cafe." I'm like, "Okay." I go to get my friend's car.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  And I drive off, hit an ice patch.

• 35:32Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Spin, out of control, like, in a cartoon. I'm still in the parking lot of Wit's End. Okay. And then the car stops. And I'm, of course, pointed in the wrong direction. I'm mortified. I'm like, I thought for sure I was gonna be wrapped around a pole. And then I start laughing when I realize I lived through it. Because I immediately thought, "What if I had used their car?" Their car was a station wagon from the 70s that had clowns painted on it that said, "Follow me to Wit's End Comedy Club." And if I had died... In that moment wrapped around a light.

• 36:16Will Arnett?

  After being fired.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  After being fired. Fired. So anyway, it's been a long road, but I'm almost 30 years in.

• 36:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. How did you stick with it with that kind of a start? Why didn't you say, yeah, fuck this. I'm gonna start a different career.

• 36:32Speaker 03

  You know, I feel like stand up is like if you're in an abusive relationship and you keep thinking it was good once. I can get that feeling back.

• 36:42Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  You know, because the first time I did stand up, it was, I do think it went well enough. And then the second time I did not win the hundred dollars in the, in the competition I signed up for.

• 36:58Will Arnett?

  Did you, did you ever send a thing about sending like the charts from your number one comedy and sending it to the dude in Denver?

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Well, he also died.

• 37:09Jason Bateman?

  Oh, my God.

• 37:10Sean Hayes?

  Black widow.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  Wow. I know.

• 37:12Will Arnett?

  Stayed away.

• 37:13Sean Hayes?

  Out of the path of Tig.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:14Will Arnett?

  I mean, what?

• 37:16Jason Bateman?

  Well, how about, do you think that your, your, your talent, your skill, your, your angle on all of this has progressively been arcing up? Like, has it, has it continued to get better and better and better and better?

• 37:31Speaker 03

  My attitude?

• 37:32Jason Bateman?

  No, no, doing stand up and your experience with it and like.

• 37:36Sean Hayes?

  My question is your attitude. Yeah.

• 37:37Jason Bateman?

  Do you, do you find that, that you're getting, is stand up a thing that can be, I, I find that I'm getting hopefully a little bit better each year. I continue on doing it over the hell I'm doing.

• 37:52Will Arnett?

  Oh, really?

• 37:53Jason Bateman?

  I think, I hope. I'm not asking.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  He's talking about golfing.

• 37:56Jason Bateman?

  Let's be clear. Yeah, it's golf. Is that something that you're still enjoying? Are you still ascendant?

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Well, you know, I, I finished my last tour and put out my stand up special. And my last tour really kind of ran me into the ground. And, and I'm working in Toronto right now. So this painting behind me is not mine.

• 38:22Jason Bateman?

  That's not, yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. Listener, it's just a shot of basically, basically Jesus's home. It's up there in the clouds somewhere.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 38:30Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 38:31Sean Hayes?

  It's a nice hotel painting.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  But I.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  I've been working on new material when I have nights off here and that's felt good, but I've had this building need and interest in doing a one-person show. And so.

• 38:52Jason Bateman?

  But isn't that what you do?

• 38:54Speaker 03

  No, I want it to be a little more of a theme and.

• 38:58Sean Hayes?

  Like a, like a, like a, like a two-act, three-act structure.

• 39:02Jason Bateman?

  Like on Broadway.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:03Will Arnett?

  No, more of a like, but like a more like, like a I love you, you're perfect now change. Like one of those ones that used to pass down Seventh Avenue.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, do a little singing, dancing.

• 39:10Sean Hayes?

  Well, my Big Fat Greek Wedding was a, was a one-woman show that turned into a movie because it was her story. So you mean something like that?

• 39:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, possibly.

• 39:18Jason Bateman?

  Like a Spalding Gray type of thing?

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Something, something like that.

• 39:21Will Arnett?

  Or like a talk radio. Are we, are we gonna keep going with?

• 39:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, keep guessing. More examples.

• 39:26Jason Bateman?

  So.

• 39:27Sean Hayes?

  I'll have a copy sent to you today.

• 39:29Jason Bateman?

  So then it is, so then there's a theme to it and it's a little bit more scripted or, or fully scripted.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, my stand-up is scripted, but I do interact with the audience. Right? If, if an idea comes to me while I'm doing a show, I'll just go with that and just kind of explore it. Cause I don't sit down and write my comedy. I write onstage in front of a live audience. So I do it fully, you know, without a net type writing.

• 39:59Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 40:00Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:01Will Arnett?

  Do you do, I know you're up there in, in Toronto working. Do you, when you have free nights or whatever, do you still go and perform out like at clubs in Toronto? Are you doing that all the time?

• 40:12Speaker 03

  That's what I'm doing is there's a comedy club, yeah, out here in Toronto, Comedy Bar. And I've been doing shows like, I don't know, two or three nights a week.

• 40:21Sean Hayes?

  Wow. You got, you got a Comedy Bar car? They send you a car that says Comedy Bar?

• 40:26Will Arnett?

  It's a Zamboni.

• 40:27Sean Hayes?

  Comedy Bar.

• 40:29Will Arnett?

  Just for a callback.

• 40:31Sean Hayes?

  Now, you dabbled in, you do, you do the, you do the acting as well, and then you dabbled in directing with Stephanie, your wife, right?

• 40:39Speaker 03

  We directed Sean Hayes.

• 40:41Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, good luck with that.

• 40:43Will Arnett?

  Talk a little bit about that.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  We did, we made this decision last minute to hire him. We couldn't get anyone else in the role.

• 40:52Sean Hayes?

  I was the emergency actor.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Emergency fill-in actor.

• 40:55Sean Hayes?

  I was Nancy, yeah. That was super fun. I laughed so hard those two days. It was really fun. Is this a project we should plug?

• 41:03Speaker 03

  Yes, it's called Am I Okay?, starring Dakota Johnson.

• 41:07Sean Hayes?

  Am I Okay? It came out a couple of years ago, right?

• 41:09Speaker 03

  It came out this year, so thanks for being on top of that, promoting.

• 41:14Sean Hayes?

  No watch party, huh, Sean?

• 41:16Speaker 03

  You've been such a good friend.

• 41:18Sean Hayes?

  So what kind of part did Sean?

• 41:21Will Arnett?

  Don't forget, he does, or you don't forget, he doesn't ask any questions. He has no idea, and he's not curious about your life. Go ahead, Jason.

• 41:28Sean Hayes?

  You know, I want to, I want to say something about the stand-up thing, though, because you know what always blows my mind? You want to change the subject from your casting?

• 41:35Speaker 03

  No, he has more bits that he used to do. Let's hear them.

• 41:37Sean Hayes?

  You know what blows my mind is like when you, when people get up there and they can just, how can you just talk? Like, how do you have so much material that you don't? Because I'm used to memorizing a script, right? And so, but there's nothing, and I know you've written it all, but just to like, if somebody says a topic, you can, you can have the perfectly constructed joke about that thing, and you have it all in your, at the bank of your head.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  But it's not all perfectly constructed. It's that I just try to leave my mind open outside of what I've already written or thought about. And then if something crosses my mind, or if somebody in the audience says something, I allow myself to go with that.

• 42:22Sean Hayes?

  Whatever that is, yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:23Sean Hayes?

  I got it.

• 42:23Will Arnett?

  And explore and find what's funny about that.

• 42:25Sean Hayes?

  And now that you've had all of this tremendous success over the years, do people come up to you all the time and say, hey, I'm such a fan, can you just do, can you say that funny thing? Or like, do they try to prompt you to perform for them?

• 42:38Speaker 03

  I would say, um... The most common thing I get is that, um, no, no, people don't do that. But I did this like 15 minute bit about running into the pop star, uh, Taylor Dane. I did this story years ago and I did it on This American Life. I ran into her so many times. And, uh, the first time I ran into her, I genuinely said, excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you. I just have to tell you, I love your voice. And she was rude to me and she said, yeah, I don't do that anymore. And then turned and kept talking to somebody. And then I kept running into her and every time I saw her, I was like, oh my God,

• 43:23Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go up and say the exact same thing I said to her at that party.

• 43:27Sean Hayes?

  Just for my sister, Taylor Dane was a big eighties pop star, like. Just in case people don't know who Taylor Dane is.

• 43:32Will Arnett?

  Was your sister born after the eighties? The fuck are you doing?

• 43:34Sean Hayes?

  No, I have no, just a reminder.

• 43:36Jason Bateman?

  That was for me too, by the way.

• 43:37Will Arnett?

  Was it really? You didn't know who Taylor Dane was?

• 43:38Speaker 03

  You don't know Taylor Dane? Tell it to my heart.

• 43:40Sean Hayes?

  Taylor Swift.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  Love will lead me back.

• 43:43Jason Bateman?

  Nope.

• 43:43Will Arnett?

  Anyway, so you see her a bunch of times, you keep doing the same.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  So I see her out to dinner, I see her at cafes, I see her everywhere. And I just walk up and I interrupted her every time and would say, hi, excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you. I just have to tell you, I love your voice.

• 43:59Sean Hayes?

  Love your voice.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. Every time. And it became this.

• 44:02Sean Hayes?

  Who the fuck are you?

• 44:03Speaker 03

  It became this so, this experiment that I was doing. Cause I was like.

• 44:07Will Arnett?

  Did you know it was you every time at this?

• 44:08Speaker 03

  No, no, she never, never did. Never did.

• 44:11Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, um, but anyway.

• 44:15Sean Hayes?

  Really funny.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 44:16Will Arnett?

  Is she alive?

• 44:17Speaker 03

  No, she's alive. And then, and then we actually became friendly because of this. Cause word got out that, you know, I was doing this story and then whatever. Um, and I did this on This American Life. They did the story and, um, and then invited Taylor Dane to that performance. And so I met her there.

• 44:37Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  But anyway, people come up to me all the time and say, excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you, I love your voice.

• 44:48Will Arnett?

  I love your voice. That's amazing. Wait, Tig, Tig, that's so good. I love that you did that. First of all, I love your commitment to shit like that. You've told me umpteen stories of things that you do, and one of my favorite, please tell us about some of the things you'll do at parties. Because it's my, these are my favorite.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Party bits, sure.

• 45:07Will Arnett?

  Party bits.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Actually, you know what a bit that I did on, on radio, morning radio, when I first started doing stand-up? I'd have to go at six in the morning to, you know, some, like Fargo or something to do, to promote my, my show. And I would always ask the radio host to please talk, like as soon as I come on the show, please talk about how gorgeous I am.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Go on and on, like, like Howard Stern and certain people, just like, you are beautiful. I mean, look at you. And because I thought, oh, maybe that'll get people to the show, but also it really made me laugh to think of people showing up to see, this is years ago, and just seeing a disheveled monotone lesbian on stage, you know, talking about my cats.

• 45:58Will Arnett?

  They're like, I didn't know I was going to an Indigo Girls concert. Hey, wait a second, but talk about, but talk about the party bits. Party bits, the fucking, oh god, I'm so jealous.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  I feel like you really liked this one, but my friend Henry Phillips, who is one of the funniest comedians, please look him up and watch everything he does. He's so funny.

• 46:20Will Arnett?

  Hi, Henry.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  And he has a couple of movies out, Punching Henry, Punching the Clown. I'm in one of the movies, but anyway, he and I do so many bits together.

• 46:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  He's so good. And he, I used to live in Venice in California, and he was like, hey, he was like, I'm at a party near your house. He was like, I don't know any of these people. He was like, you gotta come do some bits with me. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll head over.

• 46:46Will Arnett?

  I love the mischief of it.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  So I go meet him. And we're just loose at this party, doing all these different bits that are truly for our own amusement, which is what I do things for.

• 46:59Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  And if people catch on, or they enjoy it too, that's fine, but I am, I love, I love looking foolish. So I go in, I don't know anybody at this party, except Henry. I go into the kitchen, there's like five people standing around, you know, leaning against the kitchen counter, having a drink, chatting. And it's a Saturday night, maybe 9:30. And I lean in, and I just tap the wall, and I go, hey, guys, I'm gonna be going to bed in like 10 minutes.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  I have no idea if the owner of the house is in there.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  I have no idea if the host is in the kitchen. I don't know who those people are. And then I go find Henry, and I'm dying laughing. And I was like, oh, my God, I just told five people in the kitchen I was going to bed in 10 minutes. And he's like, oh, my God. He said, there's like 200 people in the backyard. You have to go out on the deck and announce that. So I was like, no problem. And this is years ago, before I was like on TV regularly and whatever.

• 48:06Sean Hayes?

  That is really funny.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  And I walk out on the back deck. Everyone's holding their solo cups and whatever. And I'm like, hey, everybody, just so you know, I'm gonna be going to bed in like 10 minutes.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  And to me, I'm like, you know, it, it, it, I am, I, for all you know, I could be going home and going to bed in 10 minutes. That doesn't mean I own the house.

• 48:32Sean Hayes?

  They're bad, not yours.

• 48:34Will Arnett?

  Tig, there's something about that that I've just always loved. I think it's the funny, it's so fucking profoundly funny. It reminds me, I used to always want to do this, but I never had the guts. I wanted to drive around like Beverly Hills, Bel Air, like in a fancy car, and pull up to gardeners as they're about to start on these big fucking estates, and just go, roll my window down and go, I just spoke to the missus, she said you guys can take the day off, fully paid. And just start relieving guardian crews around Beverly Hills and Bel Air. And they're like, look at each other like, fully paid. Yeah, you guys, she's the missus said, go ahead.

• 49:09Jason Bateman?

  She had a long night. You guys don't turn that shit on. Get out of here.

• 49:12Sean Hayes?

  I remember one time you texted me to, you said, I'm about to drive by your house. I want you to stand outside and look on your phone, but don't look at me.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:22Sean Hayes?

  As I drive by. And so I was like, okay, I'll do it. And, um, and I stood by and I couldn't look up and you drove by and you said, hey, Sean, hey, Sean. And I didn't look up.

• 49:35Sean Hayes?

  That was the bit. I had a beat buried in my phone. I didn't quite understand it, but it made me laugh.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  You don't understand it?

• 49:43Sean Hayes?

  It was like performance art.

• 49:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 49:44Will Arnett?

  God, that is so good. You know, Tig, you'd like this. My, my buddy, Pete Serf Fenway and all these English guys, they did this bit once. They'd go to a restaurant in London and they all learned beforehand. They got together, they conspired and they learned and they, they sang, it was somebody's birthday. So they sang happy birthday. And then everybody at the table, like eight of them, launched into a second verse that they had written. So they start singing a second verse to happy birthday and everybody in the restaurant starts looking at each other like, hey, what is this? As if they'd never heard their second verse.

• 50:22Will Arnett?

  How fucking funny is that?

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. I am so jealous.

• 50:27Will Arnett?

  I know. We'll be right back.

• 50:33Will Arnett?

  Everyone loves a buffet, right? Choosing exactly what you want. Yes. Just does something to you, you know? You grab a little bit of this, a little bit of that, maybe something you didn't even plan on grabbing. And suddenly your plate is full and you're feeling pretty good about your choices. Well, guess what? Investing with Schwab is kind of like a big, beautiful buffet. Yeah. Lots of options and no one's judging what ends up on your plate. It's everything investors need all in one place. You want a hearty scoop of self-directed investing? Knock yourself out. You want full-service wealth management? Delicious. Trading, retirement planning? Go ahead, pile it on. Maybe you keep things simple. Maybe you go back for seconds. Or even thirds.

• 51:18Will Arnett?

  Hey, there's no shame in building the financial plate that works for you. At Schwab, you can invest your way because you're in control. But hey. Only if you want to be. Visit schwab.com to learn more. That's S C H W A B dot com.

• 51:40Sean Hayes?

  You know what stood the test of time? No, not bad haircuts and pretending to understand wine. For centuries, law has remained a remarkably consistent way of making our promises stick. A word becomes an agreement, and an agreement becomes a contract, and a contract becomes bound by law. Now, Harvey, the AI platform designed specifically for legal work, is helping write the next chapter of that legacy. And Harvey is already pretty well established in the legal world. More than 200,000 lawyers, 80% of the Am Law 100, and 20% of the Fortune 500 are building with Harvey, accelerating review, sharpening negotiations, uncovering insights, drafting first responses, and more.

• 52:23Sean Hayes?

  Basically, Harvey is helping legal teams spend less time on repetitive work and more time on the big picture stuff. This is how the future of agreements is being crafted now. Harvey. Learn more at harvey.ai. That's harvey.ai. Harvey does not provide legal advice. Users should always independently review and verify any output provided by Harvey.

• 52:46Sean Hayes?

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• 53:29Sean Hayes?

  Almost every night at my house is movie night, and that's when I grab the butter SkinnyPop. It's so delicious. Deliciously popped, perfectly seasoned, SkinnyPop. Popular for a reason.

• 53:44Jason Bateman?

  All right, back to the show.

• 53:48Sean Hayes?

  Jake, what about the kids? You now have, with your wife Stephanie, you have two little, the cutest boys ever.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Yes, Max and Finn, they're doing well.

• 53:55Sean Hayes?

  They are seven, eight.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  They are eight. They will be eight and a half this month. And huge into golf these days.

• 54:06Jason Bateman?

  Truly?

• 54:07Speaker 03

  They are so into golf.

• 54:09Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  They're so into, they're into baseball, basketball, they're on swim team. And, but yes, Sean, they're, they're, there's, they have a sense of humor.

• 54:20Sean Hayes?

  Funny, funny.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  My son Max, I think that, well, I tell everyone he has, he's bone dry and we don't know where he got that.

• 54:30Sean Hayes?

  Sure, sure.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  But.

• 54:32Jason Bateman?

  Who was it, was there a bone dry comedian that really kind of defined your comedic sensibility? Like, was it like Steven Wright or somebody like that?

• 54:40Speaker 03

  I was really into Steven Wright. And I also really loved Paula Poundstone. I thought she was so great at writing jokes, telling stories, and also interacting with the audience. I felt like she could do everything and still feel that way. But, but yeah, my, my kids, they're like little, a friend of ours described them as like little Midwestern uncles because they're, they're just, they have like a certain maturity about them. And my son Max, one of my favorite things that he said when he was four, Stephanie and I were sitting on the couch with Max, Finn, her dad, and our three cats.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  And Max got up when he was four, just got off the couch and he said, "I'm getting the hell out of here, all these damn cats."

• 55:35Speaker 03

  Walked out of the room. I was like, I like your style, kid.

• 55:40Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 55:41Will Arnett?

  That is so funny.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're the best.

• 55:43Jason Bateman?

  Never, never dogs for you?

• 55:45Speaker 03

  No, I've had dogs. I've had a couple of dogs in my life, but we are, we call our house Kitty City.

• 55:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and do you like that the cats just sort of, they take care of themselves and they don't bother you? You don't bother them?

• 55:59Speaker 03

  Yes, I like that in a person.

• 56:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, a dog needs shit, right? A cat needs nothing.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  I mean, but I do love an excited dog that's just like about to have a stroke. They're so excited to see you.

• 56:12Jason Bateman?

  They get the zoomies.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:13Will Arnett?

  Now, Stephanie, you, you really make Stephanie laugh too, which is great. You guys laugh a lot.

• 56:18Sean Hayes?

  I love Stephanie.

• 56:19Speaker 03

  Stephanie really makes me laugh a lot.

• 56:21Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and she's really funny too. She's super funny.

• 56:24Speaker 03

  She's so funny and she's in love with Will. I'm in love with Jason and we don't know where Sean fits into this equation.

• 56:31Jason Bateman?

  Sean was with the kitties.

• 56:32Will Arnett?

  I love Stephanie.

• 56:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 56:34Will Arnett?

  I love Stephanie.

• 56:36Jason Bateman?

  Was there a meet cute there you want to share with us?

• 56:39Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  We met on the movie, Lake Bell's movie called In a World.

• 56:44Jason Bateman?

  The Great Lake Bell?

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was deathly ill. I, I didn't know I had three deadly diseases at one time and then

• 56:53Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  I collapsed, went away and dealt with

• 56:57Jason Bateman?

  Wait, was this a cancer?

• 56:58Speaker 03

  It was cancer, pneumonia and this intestinal disease called C. diff. I had it all three at once.

• 57:04Jason Bateman?

  Christ.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  So I, I go away and I was in a relationship. Stephanie had never dated a woman. We really enjoyed each other on set, but I wasn't thinking I was into her romantically and she wasn't thinking that about me. So I collapsed, I go away. Six months later, I resurface in the world and the movie's going to Sundance and, and we exchanged numbers and

• 57:31Speaker 03

  I told her, I said, you know, I'm not the biggest texter. And I told her about this girl that texted me incessantly after coffee. And that she texted that night, she said, sweet dreams, the girl I had gone out with. And not that I thought Stephanie was into me, but I was just giving her the example that I'm not great at this. And that night Stephanie texted me, sweet dreams. And I was like, oh, that is hilarious. And then we start texting and it's kind of building. And I'm thinking, oh, I'm really into her. And she had invited me, I was writing my book at the time. She invited me to come meet her and her friends at La Poubelle in Los Angeles. And I thought, oh, my God, it's 11 o'clock. I haven't showered.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  I'm wearing this big wool, Canadian wool sweater with an eagle on my back. I can't go meet her. And then, and then I thought, oh, well, she's not even into me. So who cares what I look like? And it happened to be Valentine's Day. And so she's sitting at this table. But truly, she wasn't into, she wasn't into women. And, um, and so she's at this table with friends. I walk into the bar. She is wearing a dark blue, Canadian wool sweater with an eagle on her back. No way. This is insane. I said, let's switch sweaters. So we switch sweaters and our, her friend says, get together so I can take a picture of you.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  We go to hug each other and we start making out immediately when we touch each other. And, um, and then, so we end up making out that night. And then she writes me a five million page email. The next day, I get it, that's telling me how much she loves hanging out with me, how funny she thinks I am. She's not gay, but that she wants to be friends, like goes, I can't tell you how long this email was. I'm reading this going, ah, I, cause I realized I do like her, you know? But I thought, I can't chase her because she's not into it. So I wrote back, okay, Dyke.

• 59:46Speaker 03

  That's the only thing I wrote.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  And then she said when she got that response, she just thought, okay, I like this person. And so now.

• 59:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's great.

• 59:56Jason Bateman?

  And then, so, I mean, at the, you know, however you're comfortable relaying this, if there's any further in the story you're willing to go, how does that, do you guys just start seeing each other for what, because you want to respect her sexuality, but you want to continue seeing her, but you also don't want to, like, you know, work on flipping her, or like, how do, how does that go? What, what, what happens?

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Well, so, um.

• 1:00:25Sean Hayes?

  It's true, yeah, it's a good question.

• 1:00:27Jason Bateman?

  I mean, I just don't, like, how do you protect your own, how do you protect your own heart, and, like, you know?

• 1:00:33Will Arnett?

  Go to work on flipping her.

• 1:00:37Will Arnett?

  Put on my heart hat.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  So I didn't, I didn't know that she had, that, that, okay, I didn't know OK Dyke made the impression that it did. I just thought, I need to be lighthearted, let this go, and, and just see her as a friend down the road, but I knew it was gonna take me a beat. So I told her, I said, I get it, you know, like, when we talked again, I said, I just need some space, and then I'll be able to see you as a friend, and everything's fine. And so I went to Montreal, and was doing shows there, and, um, and she reached out to me, like, a few weeks later, and she said, I'd like to see you when you get home. And I said to my friend who was there with me, and I was like, why does she want it, what, and he was like, cuz she likes you.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  And I was like, no, no, no, I know, but she told me she doesn't want, he was like, what do you think, she's like, oh, I want to see you again, so I can tell you for sure I don't like you. And I was like, I don't know, maybe. And then she came over.

• 1:01:32Jason Bateman?

  You had multiple friends that were females that weren't gay, right? You had multiple friends that were females that weren't gay, so you, you were thinking, you know, maybe this is just another one of those, perhaps.

• 1:01:41Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I just didn't know what to think, but I, I got back to LA, and she came over, and she's just a very. She's a very confident, comfortable person and she's very straightforward. And, and it's what I realized I'm so into about her. Um, and so she sat down on my couch and she just turned to me and said, um, I realized that I, I want to be with you. And I was like, oh, what do you mean? And she said, like, I want to be with you. I don't want to, I'm not saying I want to see how it goes or check things out. I want to be with you.

• 1:02:22Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  And I was like, what? I was so, I was so.

• 1:02:27Sean Hayes?

  You still had the eagle jacket on or?

• 1:02:30Will Arnett?

  You still hadn't showered, you still hadn't showered.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  We took our eagle jackets off and we got down to it.

• 1:02:35Jason Bateman?

  And it was just pure. It wasn't, it wasn't about declaring as a label or anything. I was just like, all I know is I just really want to be with you, whatever that is, it is.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's great.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, and we did, we, we make each other laugh a lot and.

• 1:02:49Jason Bateman?

  Very cool.

• 1:02:50Sean Hayes?

  I love that. I love her so much and I love you so much. And I remember one time you had, you were doing your live show and you wanted me as a guest. And it was at the.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Largo.

• 1:02:59Sean Hayes?

  Largo, at Largo. And so we had such a good time and we laughed really hard. And then the next day, literally the next day.

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  Next morning.

• 1:03:07Sean Hayes?

  I go, yeah, the next morning I go to Le Pan, this restaurant on Larchmont. And you walk in and we both had the exact same outfit on that we had, that we were on stage in.

• 1:03:19Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 1:03:21Sean Hayes?

  We both slept in those clothes and then woke up thinking, well, it's early. It's, I just want, I just want an egg. I want a couple of eggs and I'm going to go home and shower and change.

• 1:03:31Jason Bateman?

  You're across the city. No one from the show is going to be there.

• 1:03:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Do you remember that?

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Except we live close to each other and, uh, dress alike.

• 1:03:40Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  Oh, and you know what I have to say also? Stephanie directed my latest stand-up special.

• 1:03:47Jason Bateman?

  Oh, no way.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  And was nominated for an Emmy and so was the editor and so was everyone else, except me. I was the problem.

• 1:03:54Sean Hayes?

  Oh, no.

• 1:03:57Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Sean Hayes?

  Um, now wait, what is the name of that one? Is that one Hello Again?

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  That is Hello Again, yeah.

• 1:04:03Sean Hayes?

  Very, very nice. Very.

• 1:04:05Jason Bateman?

  So wait, are you in Toronto doing stand-up or movie? Stand up.

• 1:04:10Will Arnett?

  Show.

• 1:04:10Sean Hayes?

  She's doing a show.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  I'm doing a show, yeah.

• 1:04:12Will Arnett?

  I pay attention because I know what she's doing because I have asked her.

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  I'm doing Star Trek with Holly Hunter and Paul Giamatti.

• 1:04:18Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Sean Hayes?

  Oh, great.

• 1:04:19Jason Bateman?

  Wow. Do they have to wear the alien makeup?

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Um, Paul, yes. Holly, no.

• 1:04:26Will Arnett?

  Are they lesbians in space, too? Just for, just for full.

• 1:04:32Will Arnett?

  For fairness.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  It's called Starfleet Academy Lesbians in Space.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  That's the new series.

• 1:04:39Will Arnett?

  We, uh, we don't know, I don't know Holly Hunter, but we love Paul Giamatti. He's just a gem. He's a gem, gem, gem.

• 1:04:45Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, he is.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, and Holly's great, too.

• 1:04:48Will Arnett?

  I'm sure.

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  Obviously a real talent. And then I'm thrown in the mix.

• 1:04:53Will Arnett?

  Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

• 1:04:54Jason Bateman?

  Don't you say that. Tig Notaro's a gem.

• 1:04:56Speaker 03

  But I do, I do have, I mean, close to lesbians, well, it's, it's across the spectrum, but my podcast, Handsome, is right here on planet Earth. It's like my fourth podcast. I've, I don't know if you know, I've been podcasting for a long time, you guys.

• 1:05:12Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:12Jason Bateman?

  And how are you loving it? Are you loving it? You still loving it?

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  I really enjoy podcasting. Oh, my gosh, yeah. I was, I was so baffled by it in the early day. I think I started in like, I don't know, 2006 or something. I have no idea. But, um, but I do enjoy it. It's such a different way to be comedic and, um, tell stories.

• 1:05:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and you can do it, uh, inside the comfort of an air-conditioned room, you know?

• 1:05:40Speaker 03

  In the comfort of an air-conditioned or heated, um, furnished apartment in Toronto.

• 1:05:45Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:46Jason Bateman?

  Up there with the, with the, with the Jesus painting behind you.

• 1:05:50Will Arnett?

  Do you want, do you want, uh, I can, I'll text her real quick. Guaranteed she's available. Do you want to have lunch with my mom today?

• 1:05:57Speaker 03

  I would love to.

• 1:05:58Will Arnett?

  Would you?

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Jason Bateman?

  She's close.

• 1:05:59Will Arnett?

  She's a character. She's a lot of fun. She'll keep you on your toes.

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  Okay, well, hook up the lunch.

• 1:06:03Will Arnett?

  Okay, I'm gonna hook it up.

• 1:06:04Jason Bateman?

  Um, Tig, hurry home and get back to our Sunday, uh, rhythm, please.

• 1:06:09Will Arnett?

  Yeah, we miss you. We miss you.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  I have missed you dearly.

• 1:06:11Jason Bateman?

  We would love to see you.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  When does this come out?

• 1:06:13Jason Bateman?

  Um, today. It's on right now.

• 1:06:18Sean Hayes?

  You gotta tell your family.

• 1:06:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  I'm gonna tell all my dead parents.

• 1:06:24Jason Bateman?

  But hurry home so we can hang out again.

• 1:06:26Will Arnett?

  There's a better chance of them listening than if Sean's dad listening, put it that way.

• 1:06:34Speaker 03

  Wait, how can I naturally mention, because I wanted to naturally mention something and I didn't naturally mention it?

• 1:06:40Will Arnett?

  You're doing it.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  I have a documentary that just got accepted to Sundance.

• 1:06:47Will Arnett?

  You ready for this?

• 1:06:48Jason Bateman?

  Fantastic.

• 1:06:49Will Arnett?

  And weren't you, weren't you working on a documentary for a while?

• 1:06:52Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I was gonna get to that, Will. You know, I've got a bunch of questions here.

• 1:06:55Will Arnett?

  Sean, you didn't, Jason, you didn't even know about it.

• 1:06:57Speaker 03

  Thank you for asking, Will. Yes, I have been working on a documentary. And it is, I had called, they're incredible filmmakers. They did the Pamela documentary and the Dr. Ruth documentary, Serena Williams, all this. And, but I was like, I can't sell you on this person. You have to do a deep dive, not even that deep, on Andrea Gibson. And, and they called me three days later and they were like, we're in. And they got on a plane, flew to Boulder, Colorado and started filming.

• 1:07:30Jason Bateman?

  When does it come out?

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  Well, it's gonna be at Sundance.

• 1:07:33Will Arnett?

  Sundance, okay.

• 1:07:34Jason Bateman?

  It's January, right?

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  In January. But Andrea is a brilliant poet, just a brilliant poet, mind-blowing.

• 1:07:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what's it called?

• 1:07:45Will Arnett?

  Yeah, what's the documentary called?

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  I believe right now it's Come See Me in the Good Light.

• 1:07:54Will Arnett?

  Title's kinda shifting a little bit as we get closer to finish?

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, that's the last I've heard, is that's the working title, is Come See Me in the Good Light. But it is, it's a phenomenal documentary about a phenomenal person.

• 1:08:07Will Arnett?

  Sorry, mention Andrea's full name again for the...

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Andrea Gibson.

• 1:08:11Will Arnett?

  Andrea Gibson.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  Written eight books.

• 1:08:14Will Arnett?

  Amazing.

• 1:08:14Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Incredible book.

• 1:08:16Jason Bateman?

  I'll check her out online.

• 1:08:17Will Arnett?

  Amazing. These guys will love the books.

• 1:08:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, is there an audio version?

• 1:08:24Will Arnett?

  These two love books.

• 1:08:26Jason Bateman?

  Now, that's, are you gonna go to Sundance?

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  I am.

• 1:08:30Jason Bateman?

  Okay, good.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go to Sundance and, yeah, yeah, going to Sundance.

• 1:08:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, well, good luck with it.

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:08:38Jason Bateman?

  Congratulations on that. Finish strong there in Toronto and get your ass back home here.

• 1:08:43Will Arnett?

  Send our love to Stephanie, whom we also miss.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  And all of my love to your families. And I'll see you at Sunday Fun Day anytime I'm home.

• 1:08:56Will Arnett?

  Very soon.

• 1:08:56Sean Hayes?

  Wonderful.

• 1:08:57Will Arnett?

  Hurry.

• 1:08:57Sean Hayes?

  Wonderful.

• 1:08:58Jason Bateman?

  All right, love you. Thank you for doing this. Enjoy the rest of your day and stay warm up there.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Well, truly, thanks for having me.

• 1:09:04Sean Hayes?

  Of course.

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  Love you all dearly.

• 1:09:05Will Arnett?

  Thank you, Tig. That was awesome.

• 1:09:06Sean Hayes?

  Love you, honey.

• 1:09:07Will Arnett?

  That was awesome.

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:09:09Jason Bateman?

  Bye.

• 1:09:11Jason Bateman?

  Guys, that was Tig Notaro.

• 1:09:13Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:13Sean Hayes?

  That was Tig Notaro.

• 1:09:14Jason Bateman?

  Tig Notaro, spelled T-I-G.

• 1:09:16Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 1:09:17Sean Hayes?

  That was such a funny story about her name. Good cord.

• 1:09:20Jason Bateman?

  About the pig teat. You know, you know, pigs do have teats. And you can get, you know, did you know you can get milk from a pig? That there's pig milk?

• 1:09:28Sean Hayes?

  No.

• 1:09:28Jason Bateman?

  There's certain countries, they drink pig milk?

• 1:09:30Sean Hayes?

  Oh, God. I'll try it.

• 1:09:32Jason Bateman?

  Did you know that? Will, did you know that?

• 1:09:33Sean Hayes?

  I'll try.

• 1:09:34Will Arnett?

  No, I don't know what you're talking about, man.

• 1:09:36Jason Bateman?

  Pig milk.

• 1:09:37Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 1:09:37Sean Hayes?

  Pig milk.

• 1:09:38Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 1:09:39Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:39Will Arnett?

  And people drink pig milk? They put it in cream?

• 1:09:41Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. You knew that, though.

• 1:09:42Sean Hayes?

  I'll put it in cereal.

• 1:09:43Will Arnett?

  I didn't know it, no.

• 1:09:45Jason Bateman?

  Good.

• 1:09:45Will Arnett?

  I actually, I actually, I feel worse for now knowing it.

• 1:09:47Jason Bateman?

  It's not true. I was hoping you would say, "Yeah, of course I fucking knew that." You fucking...

• 1:09:55Sean Hayes?

  How great is Tig? Tig, we've known for, I've known Tig for a long, long, long, long time.

• 1:10:00Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:00Sean Hayes?

  She's always been so funny and so unique, like there's nobody like her.

• 1:10:04Will Arnett?

  No.

• 1:10:05Jason Bateman?

  They're really, yeah, and I just, I just love, because I usually end up sitting next to her at Sunday. And I just, I love, I just drink it all up. I love her. I love every minute with her. Yeah. So, Willie, I say you call your mom and...

• 1:10:21Will Arnett?

  I might do it.

• 1:10:22Jason Bateman?

  I would have lunch with your mother in a heartbeat if I was in town.

• 1:10:24Sean Hayes?

  Oh, my God, I would too. I would love, when is she gonna come down here? I want to talk to her.

• 1:10:28Jason Bateman?

  You know what else I'd like to do? I'd like to go to your childhood home. I'd like to see your bedroom, which I bet is still pretty much intact.

• 1:10:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:34Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, no, no. They've moved a few times since, yeah.

• 1:10:37Jason Bateman?

  What would we see on your boyhood wall when you were growing up in the house there? Were there like posters of hockey, hockey players?

• 1:10:44Will Arnett?

  What age?

• 1:10:44Jason Bateman?

  Like, you know, 12, 13, 14?

• 1:10:46Will Arnett?

  Okay, well, these are various. So, like, 11, you know, from the time I was like 6 to 11, I had a map of the world.

• 1:10:52Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 1:10:53Will Arnett?

  This is true. Huge map of the world. And then underneath, on the, sort of the legend underneath, it had all the countries. And it just had, listen, just basic info about every country. Capital, the size, it's, you know, sort of square mileage, population, et cetera, for every country in the world. So I had that.

• 1:11:13Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 1:11:13Will Arnett?

  And then when I was, when I was a teenager, I ended up having like, I went to boarding school, as you know, for a few years and then I came back and I had, I had a Smith's poster on my wall.

• 1:11:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:11:25Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I had a big, "The World Won't Listen" and a Morrissey poster.

• 1:11:30Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, the best.

• 1:11:31Jason Bateman?

  Were you kind of like a mod? Did you ever wear like eyeliner?

• 1:11:35Will Arnett?

  No, no, no, no. But I wore like, I wore like tapered, like green sort of Dickies type pants. I wore a lot of that. And I wore-

• 1:11:43Jason Bateman?

  Doc Martens?

• 1:11:45Will Arnett?

  Doc Martin brogues.

• 1:11:46Jason Bateman?

  What are brogues?

• 1:11:47Will Arnett?

  Like, like shoes, right? Like wingtips sort of like, you know what I mean?

• 1:11:51Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh, I got it.

• 1:11:52Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, like Ducky from Pretty in Pink.

• 1:11:54Will Arnett?

  Yeah, but I never, but yeah, but like, but never, I wasn't a mod in that sense. I, but I, yeah.

• 1:12:01Jason Bateman?

  You kept it tasteful, sure.

• 1:12:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah, of course. You keep it timeless, that's the key.

• 1:12:06Sean Hayes?

  Okay, 12 or 13, 12 or 13.

• 1:12:08Will Arnett?

  Did you have posters of yourself on your wall? Because you were in like Tiger Beat and 16 and all that shit.

• 1:12:13Jason Bateman?

  All the different hairstyles and, because there's different sweater in each one, you know?

• 1:12:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:18Will Arnett?

  God, I wish it revealed that Sean had a post review in his room. It would be the best thing. That would be the greatest reveal.

• 1:12:24Jason Bateman?

  I had a, I had a, I think we said this when Rashida was on the show. I had a life-size poster of Quincy Jones on my wall.

• 1:12:30Will Arnett?

  Did you really?

• 1:12:30Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:12:31Jason Bateman?

  That my dad just put up there for me and I just never took it down.

• 1:12:35Will Arnett?

  You never took it down?

• 1:12:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:36Sean Hayes?

  All I had was Michael Jackson posters everywhere.

• 1:12:40Will Arnett?

  Did you really?

• 1:12:41Sean Hayes?

  Uh, when I was a kid and, and my favorite one was probably, "Bailey Jean."

• 1:12:47Will Arnett?

  Oh my God, "Bailey."

• 1:12:50Sean Hayes?

  "Bailey."

• 1:13:21Sean Hayes?

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• 1:14:01Speaker 04

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, Inc.