"RE-RELEASE: Nate Bargatze"

Untuck your button-down; it’s Nate Bargatze. We discover the wonders of Magic, the Easter Bunny, a KFC-catered family reunion, and an elevator in the ocean. You can’t take your eyes off a mime… it’s an all-new SmartLess. This episode was originally released on 7/15/2024.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

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• 0:43Jason Bateman?

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• 1:23Sean Hayes?

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• 1:59Sean Hayes?

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• 2:45Will Arnett?

  Do you want anything? Uh, one second, I'm just wanna... Do you want something? Okay. Okay. Great, can I get, uh, one crispy chicken? Two, two crispy chi... For you, uh, 'cause I don't know... You want two for yourself? Okay, no judgment. That's fine. And, and, and ice cream. Do you guys even serve? I... You know what? Do you mind if we just do this after? Welcome, it's an all-new Smartless.

• 3:27Sean Hayes?

  We were just talking about Shawshank, and I was gonna say to Will, Jay Burtroyd came on, that my philosophy in life is kind of...

• 3:34Will Arnett?

  Oh, this is good, hang on.

• 3:35Sean Hayes?

  No, this is good, this is good, you'll like it. Yeah, everybody pull over, um, and, uh, get out the pen. Uh, by the way, this is Shawshank Redemption, I think, is for Tracy, the film. So, the end of the movie, so the whole movie, Morgan Freeman is talking about, like, uh, you know, he goes in front of the, what is it called? The panel or whatever, the people who...

• 3:53Will Arnett?

  Pearl board.

• 3:53Sean Hayes?

  Kind of, the board, yeah.

• 3:54Will Arnett?

  Pearl board, yeah.

• 3:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and he's, the pearl board, and he's like, he, he tells them what they think they wanna hear, he's like, "No, I've been, you know, reformed, I'm good, I, I've learned my lesson," and they always deny his, his pearl. And then at the end of the movie, he finally just is like, "You know what? Fuck it." This is who I am. You people are crazy. I didn't learn anything, blah blah. And then that's when he gets released.

• 4:16Will Arnett?

  That's it.

• 4:16Sean Hayes?

  That's my philosophy for life.

• 4:17Will Arnett?

  And that's what, that's what full release comes from honesty. Well, two ways. Sorry.

• 4:23Jason Bateman?

  So everybody go ahead and put your car back in drive and toss that paper either out the window. If you still have an ashtray in the car, use that.

• 4:33Jason Bateman?

  Cause we really didn't, we really didn't get an end to it, but.

• 4:37Will Arnett?

  It's nice that Sean's philosophy on life is like.

• 4:40Sean Hayes?

  We get it. Yeah. Like, you know, don't try to be something you're not. Yeah, exactly.

• 4:44Jason Bateman?

  Right. I, I, I, I agree with you. Authenticity is, is, is thematic that I'm on a project that we're, that I'm working on right now.

• 4:53Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:53Jason Bateman?

  That's the theme of the, of the thing.

• 4:54Sean Hayes?

  Oh, very good.

• 4:55Jason Bateman?

  It's a great evergreen. Yeah.

• 4:56Will Arnett?

  Authenticity.

• 4:57Sean Hayes?

  Hey, Jason.

• 4:58Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, hi.

• 4:59Sean Hayes?

  Why did the man fall down the well?

• 5:01Will Arnett?

  Oh, boy.

• 5:02Jason Bateman?

  Because.

• 5:04Will Arnett?

  He didn't see that well?

• 5:05Sean Hayes?

  That's exactly right.

• 5:09Jason Bateman?

  Wait, who, wait, Willie, you got, um, when we had Jordan Peele on his film, uh, Nope. I, I always just thought it was just a fun way to say, yeah, no, I'm not comfortable with flying saucers. It says the main character and this shit freaks me out, but it's actually an acronym for?

• 5:27Will Arnett?

  It's an acronym. Well, he said it's an acronym. And I just went, and I thought about it for two seconds. I went, not of planet earth.

• 5:34Sean Hayes?

  Planet earth.

• 5:35Will Arnett?

  Remember the look on his face? He was, he was a little mad, I think.

• 5:38Jason Bateman?

  Well, what, no, what you were seeing was the same look that I had, which is total shock at your level of intelligence. Like, just like stunning surprise.

• 5:46Will Arnett?

  That's what hurt me the most was the stunning, the stunned look on everybody's face when I do something.

• 5:52Sean Hayes?

  Well, we're gonna have a stunned look at your guest when he comes on.

• 5:54Will Arnett?

  Well, he's gonna have a stunned look at Sean.

• 5:56Jason Bateman?

  Sorry, Sean, did you have a lunch?

• 5:59Will Arnett?

  He's gonna have a stunned look at your, when he, when he heard your joke for sure, because he tells jokes for a living.

• 6:05Jason Bateman?

  Oh, shit. Here we go.

• 6:07Will Arnett?

  And he doesn't just tell jokes. I, ah, man, he, this guy tells jokes.

• 6:11Jason Bateman?

  This son of a gun.

• 6:12Will Arnett?

  This son of a gun, and that's kind of the language that he would use too. Son of a gun.

• 6:15Jason Bateman?

  Dax Shepard's coming back?

• 6:17Will Arnett?

  He, Dax does love son of a gun. This guy uses, I don't know, there's something about his, everything that he does, his delivery, his turn of phrase, the things he talks about, the way he does it. A lot of people call him the nicest guy in stand-up. I don't think of him as just the funniest dude I've seen in such a long time. And I remember the first time I was, I heard about him was through our old friend, Greg Garcia. Yeah, and Greg was like, Greg reached out to me, he's like, you have to have this guy on, blah, blah, blah. And I made some glib remark. He's like, you're gonna regret it. I go, I think he's hilarious. Relax, Greg. And then JB, you and I had the pleasure of meeting him really, really briefly.

• 6:55Jason Bateman?

  Make you repeat the glib remark right in front of him.

• 6:57Will Arnett?

  We met him really briefly up at, last year, up at Pebble Beach. And he's as nice as he is funny, and it's all legit shit.

• 7:06Sean Hayes?

  I love this guy.

• 7:07Will Arnett?

  He's so, so funny.

• 7:08Sean Hayes?

  I love Ray Romano.

• 7:09Will Arnett?

  I love the Tennessee kid. I love the Tennessee kid. I love his new special Hello World on Amazon. He's about to go on tour in a new one. Guys, it's none other than the hilarious Nate Bargatze.

• 7:22Sean Hayes?

  Nate Bargatze.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 7:24Jason Bateman?

  Even better.

• 7:27Jason Bateman?

  I was ready for Ray.

• 7:28Sean Hayes?

  I love Nate Bargatze.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  I'll get Ray.

• 7:32Jason Bateman?

  Oh, how great.

• 7:33Sean Hayes?

  Nate, it's good to see you again.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Good to see you, Sean. Hey, just a little fun note, never seen Shawshank, so.

• 7:39Jason Bateman?

  Well, you're young. You're too young for it. You know, it's before your time.

• 7:42Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, how old?

• 7:43Speaker 03

  I'm 44. I should have.

• 7:45Jason Bateman?

  He's pretty young.

• 7:46Will Arnett?

  You know what, Nate? I didn't see Shawshank till I was 45.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Oh, I'll do it next year.

• 7:51Will Arnett?

  Anyway, Nate Bargatze.

• 7:53Jason Bateman?

  Nate, Nate, this is really nice.

• 7:55Will Arnett?

  Great to see you again, because we did meet. We did meet up at Pebble.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 8:00Jason Bateman?

  Do you live in a nice house, or are you in a nice hotel room? Where are you?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  In a hotel room. I'm in Syracuse.

• 8:05Jason Bateman?

  Okay. Working?

• 8:06Speaker 03

  I got a show in Syracuse. This is, can't make it here, can't make it anywhere, you know?

• 8:11Jason Bateman?

  That's what they say. That's what they say.

• 8:13Will Arnett?

  I like, Nate, I like that Sean said, you said, I'm in Syracuse, and Sean goes, working? Nah.

• 8:21Sean Hayes?

  He's just hanging out with the orange men.

• 8:22Speaker 03

  This is the vacations I can afford. He go, it's nice. We took a bus though.

• 8:30Sean Hayes?

  We spent on the hotel room.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, everything went to this. My family of 30 is right off camera. They're just right there. I said, if y'all talk during this, I will kill you all.

• 8:41Sean Hayes?

  When you, when you are traveling around, you're doing these shows, what size is your, is your, is your, is your group footprint? What's your posse size?

• 8:51Speaker 03

  We have probably like 10 guys. Cause I bring four openers. Actually tonight, we got a surprise opener. He won't be here till later. Jimmy Fallon. Fallon is coming to the show.

• 9:05Jason Bateman?

  Oh, that's great.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  He's going to jump on the bus.

• 9:07Sean Hayes?

  Where do I know, tell me what we know him from?

• 9:10Speaker 03

  That movie, Pitch Fever.

• 9:13Sean Hayes?

  Taxi.

• 9:15Jason Bateman?

  With Queen Latifah.

• 9:16Sean Hayes?

  Yes, I remember Taxi.

• 9:18Will Arnett?

  Jimmy, right now, by the way, he's hearing this, he's sharpening his knife hearing us say this.

• 9:22Sean Hayes?

  Well Nate, I have to say this. We developed the show together years ago.

• 9:26Will Arnett?

  What?

• 9:26Sean Hayes?

  And you were very successful then, but to see you over the years, this kind of like, and then SNL, and then like, I, it's so exciting to finally be like, yes, this guy has been brilliant, has always been brilliant, and now more and more people get to see it.

• 9:41Will Arnett?

  And you sell, Nate, you sell out arenas, like 20,000 at a clip, which is just unbelievable. And on top of this, and I'm going to say this, and I really, and I've said it a bunch since it aired, when you were on SNL, your sketch, your, your, your George Washington sketch is to me, just in my opinion, the funniest SNL sketch I've seen in 15 years.

• 10:03Sean Hayes?

  I totally agree with that.

• 10:04Jason Bateman?

  I'm going to look that up.

• 10:04Sean Hayes?

  I totally agree with that.

• 10:06Will Arnett?

  Remarkable. Now your TV just went on, which tells me that you're bored.

• 10:09Jason Bateman?

  The family's bored.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:11Jason Bateman?

  The 30 men are getting itchy.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  There's no one in here.

• 10:14Will Arnett?

  It's just you and Jim Benheim, right?

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Jimmy turned it off or does it matter?

• 10:18Jason Bateman?

  No, no, give me something to watch.

• 10:21Will Arnett?

  But you have, to echo what Sean's saying, you have just like kind of finally, thankfully, the rest of America is just like, Understand what an awesome, awesome, hilarious dude you are. So how do you start? You're the Tennessee kid. You're from Old Hickory, Tennessee. Am I right about that?

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:39Jason Bateman?

  Old Hickory?

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, Old Hickory.

• 10:40Jason Bateman?

  Is it next to New Hickory?

• 10:41Speaker 03

  No, New's a little bit farther.

• 10:42Jason Bateman?

  Was it ever New Hickory?

• 10:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 10:44Will Arnett?

  He's got, he's got, he's got this great joke in his new special on Amazon Prime where he says, I'm from Old Hickory. It's where Andrew Jackson's from. And people are like, he wasn't a good guy. And Nate goes, well, we didn't know him that well, but we didn't know him at all.

• 10:59Sean Hayes?

  But Nate, talk to me about when you were a kid and stuff like, did you, were you always into comedy? Did you watch SNL? Like, what were your inspirations?

• 11:04Will Arnett?

  That's what I was thinking. That's what I was getting to. How did you start?

• 11:07Sean Hayes?

  I just got there faster.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  It's, I grew, my dad's a magician.

• 11:10Will Arnett?

  What?

• 11:11Speaker 03

  And does comedy.

• 11:12Sean Hayes?

  Mine too. Mine can disappear on the drop of a hat.

• 11:14Jason Bateman?

  Sean Hayes, you are talk show quick. Get out of here. Sorry, Nate.

• 11:19Sean Hayes?

  Thanks, you guys.

• 11:20Jason Bateman?

  Keep going.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  No, I mean, I grew up around that. I mean, so that was like, you know, it was funny, but then also growing up around, you know, my dad being a magician.

• 11:29Jason Bateman?

  You learn patter.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  Like, yeah, it just kind of leads you to it, I guess.

• 11:33Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, wait. So Nate, so you grew up, your dad's a magician. He obviously loved you. Sorry, Sean. And he, I mean, to the extent that he wanted to stick around.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  I'm friends with Sean's dad.

• 11:44Jason Bateman?

  Oh, so you know where he is?

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. He's a pretty good dude.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. I don't know the whole backstory, but I know, I just know from what our hanging out is.

• 11:53Jason Bateman?

  He's got no tread left on his tires, but he's a good guy.

• 11:56Sean Hayes?

  He's, he's, he's got you a pin to his location.

• 11:59Will Arnett?

  So what was that like growing up with your dad being a magician? That's pretty rad.

• 12:04Jason Bateman?

  An illusionist.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. It was the best. It was, you know, I don't know if I even understood it. Like, I'm sure, I think of it like, you're my daughter and I'm sure your kids, like, they, it doesn't seem not normal. Like, it just felt like, it's like, that's all I ever knew. And it wasn't until you got older that you're like, yeah, dude, nobody's dad's a magician.

• 12:26Jason Bateman?

  Start saying you don't know when you're asked what your dad does.

• 12:29Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:30Sean Hayes?

  So he would make a living doing it?

• 12:32Speaker 03

  I have people do magic, like magicians would show me a magic trick. I've just seen them all too. And I just, I'm just not a good, I'm not a good person to perform for, cause I'm just like, alright.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  You know, it's like, is this your card? You're like, it's always my, it's always my card. It's always been my card.

• 12:46Jason Bateman?

  Every time I see magic, every time I see magic, I frickin' love it. And I'll bet everybody listening loves it. Well, I mean, how can you not love when you see a magic trick? I mean, a good one, if it's convincing. But I, but I never think about it. I never, and I always make fun of it when I hear about it. It's like you hear about mimes. But you know what? You can't take your eyes off a mime, or, or a magician. It's, uh, it, it, it gets a bad rap.

• 13:10Will Arnett?

  You can't take your eyes off a mime.

• 13:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's the quote of the day.

• 13:14Will Arnett?

  Wait, so Nate, so your dad, Sean was gonna ask this, so your dad made a living as, as a magician?

• 13:21Speaker 03

  He did, he was a teacher too. Like, so he had a day job and then he would do that and then we were always in Nashville and, uh, so he's just always done it. And I mean, he's, he's very successful, he's very known in the magic world. He comes with me and opens for me, uh, a lot on the road.

• 13:36Jason Bateman?

  No way.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Will do these shows and, you know, it's every little boy's dream, travel to your dad when you're 44 years old. So, uh, you got a little CPAP machine hooked up in a tour bus. It's a good time.

• 13:47Jason Bateman?

  You got some ramps on the side of that stage?

• 13:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, I mean, we were, we had our bus parked out one time and I had my, it was my dad, my mom and my aunt. And I was like, people probably go by those tour buses and they're like, it's pretty rocking in there. And I mean, we got, it's lights off, quiet, just the roar of machines keeping everybody alive.

• 14:05Jason Bateman?

  And the smell of liniment.

• 14:09Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so did you ever perform in the magic shows with your dad?

• 14:13Speaker 03

  I did some, yeah. I would help him with magic.

• 14:16Jason Bateman?

  You ever get cut in half?

• 14:18Speaker 03

  No, no, we didn't ever do that. We, he never did that, go that far. He'd just sleight of hand. A lot of sleight of hand and he does comedy with it.

• 14:25Will Arnett?

  That's my favorite.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:26Will Arnett?

  So then when you, what, what age were you when you were like, uh, actually kind of to what, Jason, you kind of alluded to, but did you start just like being a wise ass on the, on the side of your dad's stage while he was doing magic? Like, is that how stand-up started for you?

• 14:41Speaker 03

  I think it was just being funny. We would like, I remember seeing stand up. It was just, it was just trying to, it was trying to make people laugh. I don't think I ever really made fun of anybody.

• 14:50Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  It was, but it was like, I would make fun of myself a lot, which is what I do now in my comedy. So it'd be like, you'd be doing stuff like that, making funny. He had, I mean, one time I've talked about this in a special on one of them, but it was like, he brought the Easter Bunny home when I was like six. He was at the, he was at a mall doing a show and the Easter Bunny needed a ride home. And my dad goes, I'll give you a ride home if you swing by my house. And so I remember the Easter Bunny, we had like, my parents had this old red Mazda stick shift, you know? And the Easter Bunny's head was bent to the side because his head couldn't fit in the car.

• 15:25Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  So he was just, he was sitting like this and then he got out and I met the Easter Bunny and then my dad drove the Easter Bunny home.

• 15:34Will Arnett?

  So that's, so that started your, the Easter Bunny, is it, say.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  That was the, yeah, that was the trajectory. I go, all right. I go, if I can beat that guy, then maybe I can make it as.

• 15:45Jason Bateman?

  Now, what, what, what was your mom's attitude on, on her husband's career?

• 15:51Speaker 03

  My parents have been together since seventh grade and they, my mom's very funny. And, but she, she worked at a bank. I mean, she's just been, I mean, it's just stuff. There's like, growing up, it's buying, you know, she has to go, my dad would be like, go to the store. I need you to buy 12 lemons. And he has to buy for like his magic or a bunch of newspapers from that day. It's like a bunch of random, and it's just normal conversation. You're just like, it's a Tuesday. You're just trying to grab some bread, milk and 30 oranges. And then you get on out of there. And handkerchiefs in six colors. He's got a lot of shows this week. It's just stuff like that.

• 16:30Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait. So, so Nate, so I want to kind of get again, this, this is, we're the worst interviewers on the planet. We were just voted worst ever interviewers.

• 16:38Jason Bateman?

  We nailed it.

• 16:39Will Arnett?

  Of all time.

• 16:40Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 16:41Will Arnett?

  But I want to go back because we, again, because you play these huge arenas and it's amazing. And I don't, I don't know if I've ever seen a comic so comfortable. You make it. It's so intimate, even though you're playing a huge, there's something about it that makes it so personal and you, and you, you're so organic.

• 16:57Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you draw us in as opposed to ask for.

• 16:59Will Arnett?

  And we're talking about authenticity, you're very authentic, but you, that feels like you, that when you started, you must have started in clubs, like in smaller venues, right? Like, like most comics, I imagine.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, so I moved to Chicago first for a couple of years, and then I moved to New York. And I was in New York for the most, for like eight and a half years. And so I did all the clubs and all the, like going up every single night. I performed for one guy once.

• 17:24Will Arnett?

  Oh, my God, no way.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  Like, he wouldn't leave. We tried to get him to leave and he's like, nah, it's all right. And we're like, well, we don't think it's all right.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  It really wasn't about him. You're like, what's, I don't want to stand up in front of a guy. Regularly up in front of four people, five, six, like, I mean, six people was like, got a pretty good show going on, you know?

• 17:44Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  You were excited about six people.

• 17:46Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you just get used to just being in these kind of like, you know, it takes a long time before you're in front of like an actual paying crowd that's good.

• 17:56Will Arnett?

  But what, what does that do for you, what does that do for you like rhythm wise, et cetera, when you're just doing six people, like?

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Well, I had to learn to get people into my rhythm very quickly. So since I'm talk slower and I was from the south and all this, I had to figure out, because I would follow like high energy acts. And then I'd come up and I'm like, well, I gotta come up with a joke or I gotta say something. I just need you to hear my voice for a second, so you can go like, all right, readjust and be like, now we're in this rhythm. And then get into the first kind of, you know, come up with a good like opening little thing or whatever and just.

• 18:30Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  And get rolling.

• 18:31Sean Hayes?

  You know what always blows my mind about stand ups though, like how you can just walk around the stage for two hours? And always have something to talk about and just, like, how do you, is it like a monologue you memorize? Or like, how can you just go up and speak?

• 18:47Will Arnett?

  God, he's gonna love show business, do you think?

• 18:49Sean Hayes?

  For two hours straight.

• 18:50Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, Sean, where do you get a load of her?

• 18:52Will Arnett?

  He's gonna love show business, he's gonna love it.

• 18:55Jason Bateman?

  Two thirds of the planet is water.

• 18:59Jason Bateman?

  There's a couple of poles. No, you know what I mean? That always blows my mind. Obviously, you had material that you work on, but do you ever like? There's your answer. Go up and you're like, oh, my God, I don't know what subject to talk about next? Like, the flow of?

• 19:10Speaker 03

  Well, I don't go up. I, yeah, I go up prepared. I mean, I can't do the other. I can't really do like crowd work and go up and stuff. It's very, very.

• 19:18Jason Bateman?

  He's not freestyling, bro. He's been working on it for months.

• 19:22Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 19:22Will Arnett?

  Nate, do you ever switch? Nate, do you ever switch the order based on the audience?

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. This, this, this new hour, I've switched it a ton. But it, and it's worked because now I'm opening on a joke that I, that I've closed on. So it's like, it's great to be opening on a joke that I've actually had to have the energy and the rhythm of a closer. And then you just move it up and now it's the front.

• 19:44Jason Bateman?

  And you're doing those decisions on the fly?

• 19:47Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, you just fill it out. It's like, I mean, it's kind of like a song. Like, I, like, I'm in love with stand-up right now. Like, I love it so much. And it's, uh, I, the way I've looked at writing kind of is like, uh, it's a movie. So I'm the main character of this movie. And I'm not, I'm telling the story. I'm not, there's a, there's a, you know, a reason for be saying all this stuff. And everything leads into the other thing. So you want to make it where people don't realize you're into another joke. But in my head, I could be on like joke five.

• 20:16Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  But you're trying to, I'm trying to make it where like, and then that's how you remember it. Because the only way, you know, if you're talking about like riding a car and then you're like, my wife bought a car. Well, now that's the only thing I could go into.

• 20:28Jason Bateman?

  Right, right. And we will be right back. Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices and you earn rewards every time you book. So your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers

• 22:00Speaker 04

  and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 22:14Speaker 05

  Computers are getting smarter, Silicon Valley's getting weirder, and AI is taking over. At least that's what everyone keeps telling us. Welcome to Machine Gods, a new NPR podcast that will be your field guide to the AI-powered future. We're veteran tech journalists with front row seats to the industry, and twice a week, we'll make sure you get smarter about AI, so you know what's real, what's hype, and what might come next. Listen to Machine Gods from NPR on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 22:46Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 22:49Jason Bateman?

  Who was your main inspiration as far as developing that style of telling stories as opposed to jokes? Was it like a George Carlin? Because I seem to remember he was kind of like that too, right?

• 23:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, Cosby was one. But if you go watch his old stuff, it's very storytelling, all that kind of stuff. I'm a big Seinfeld fan. Seinfeld was... He was... I kind of think... Because I always looked at it like I tell stories, but in a joke form. Like, so it's... I mean, I try to never be too far from the laugh. Because the farther you are from a laugh, the bigger the laugh has to be. And I don't want to put that much pressure on a laugh. So if I can just kind of keep it going and let it build. It's like, you know, it doesn't, you're just not putting the weight of the world on this. You're like, you know, because if they go, if you go silent too long, I mean, there's a point where you're like, well, this joke better be unreal. Yeah.

• 23:43Will Arnett?

  Sean tried, Sean tried stand up and we won't get to his opening joke, but he was, he started so far from the laugh. And then he never got even to the same area code as the laugh. You know what I mean? Like he never, he never, he never had actual direct sight on the laugh. They never got a clean look at it.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  He went right.

• 24:02Sean Hayes?

  Turned into a lecture.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  And there's no way, you're like, no, he's supposed to go, well, he'll never get there now.

• 24:05Will Arnett?

  Even with a series of mirrors, he couldn't see the laugh. It was so obscured.

• 24:11Sean Hayes?

  That's how I drive around town. I only take right hand turns. But Nate, biggest bombing story, like, did you just like, oh my God, this is the worst, like?

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, there's a bunch. I mean, I, you blame it on, I had one one time, I thought it was the shirt I wore. And so I threw that shirt away. I had a button down shirt and I tucked it in. I've never done that since.

• 24:30Sean Hayes?

  For real?

• 24:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, it wasn't me. I was just like. Couldn't have been the material, yeah. This fucking shirt is killing me. Shirt, what is this guy's deal?

• 24:41Speaker 03

  I've done a cruise ship.

• 24:44Sean Hayes?

  Say no more.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I won a, I won a contest and your prize was to set your career back five years and do cruises.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  And so I go out and I'm doing it and you gotta do like, you gotta do a bunch of shows. So you do thirty clean, thirty dirty. I never had dirty. So it's like, I couldn't even, and then you would do one another show. So you needed, honest, because sometimes these people would come back and watch multiple shows. So you needed to have, you know, two hours of material or do crowd or be able to mess with the crowd or something. And I remember we, we go up and you would do one show at the beginning of it. You do like five minutes each and it's kind of just like, it's in the big theater. And you're kind of just letting the crowd know, we're comedians, we got a show back here, blah, blah. So the other guy just was great and knew how to like, he shone a flash out on the crowd. Like just knew how to like really play with the crowd. Always works.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  And he was like, coming to my shows, every show is different. And he like made a big announcement how they're all different. And then I went up and I said, my, I go, come to one and maybe the other one, the other one will be the same. I had to like, I was like, do not come to all my shows. Most will be the same. I don't have enough material to have them all be different. So you can go to his shows, they will be different. Mine will be. And then I went and did a show and it was, I started it and like they, they didn't laugh. And I was like, oh, these people have been to every show. And I'm not a crowd work guy, you know, and I'm like, so what do you do, man? And I, you know, some guys like I'm in, he's an oil rigger in the ocean.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  It's actually a pretty crazy job. And I was like, that's cool. And I just moved on. It's like an insane, people are saying crazy stuff. They're like, I'm a bank robber. I'm like, that's neat, man. What about you, ma'am? I had nothing.

• 26:31Sean Hayes?

  No riffing.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  And then I had to ride in an elevator with these people. I'm in, I'm in the elevator in the ocean. You think it sounds like I made it. And I'm just sitting there and I had a hat on and I just hear some guy just trashing me. And I'm, my shoulder's touching him and I just have to sit there.

• 26:46Sean Hayes?

  Oh my God.

• 26:49Jason Bateman?

  But they do separate them between clean and dirty on a cruise ship? That's exclusive to a cruise ship?

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, it would, you would just have a show that's like, the kids can come to this show. Your family can come to this show. And then you'd have like a night at, you know, 11 PM is like an adult only show. You still can't be that dirty, but it's, the idea of it is a little more, you know.

• 27:08Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you could have just dropped in a couple of F bombs and just randomly.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  I got a curse as I talk about parking. I'm like, you guys ever a parallel parking? And they're like, this guy's filthy. Yeah, I didn't even have any. I didn't even have, I had no dirty jokes. Like there's no, I don't really, I don't talk about sex or like political or like, there's nothing like really like that's kind of like this.

• 27:28Will Arnett?

  What about political sex? Will you ever touch political sex? Is that something that you'd be willing?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  That I will. If the right joke comes up.

• 27:35Jason Bateman?

  Sure, sure.

• 27:36Will Arnett?

  You know, it is funny, it is remarkable how, how clean your standup is. And a lot of people, it's such a weird thing to have to say to point it out, but I guess it is worthy of pointing out. And it is to me such a testament to how profoundly funny you are. Honestly, and I, I hope it is a badge of honor for you. It should be. Cause it really, you find ways to talk about stuff and you don't need to, to swear. I swear like a.

• 28:03Jason Bateman?

  And Cosby never, never cursed, right? Famously.

• 28:06Will Arnett?

  Well, let's, again, let's not try to, you know, look at, so let's not, but.

• 28:11Jason Bateman?

  No, let's go down the avenue of Cosby and clean, you know?

• 28:16Jason Bateman?

  This guy.

• 28:17Sean Hayes?

  So Nate, wait, did you, so at home, what's it like at home? So like, is, does your, do you check out, do you run jokes by your wife? Does she okay them? Is she sick of hearing them? Like, what is that dynamic at home?

• 28:30Speaker 03

  I'll tell her, yeah, I, I like, she knows about every joke that comes up. Cause that, that's something I had to learn to, when you make fun of your wife at the beginning, is, uh, you have to show love. Like, you have to show, cause people, cause I remember at the beginning, the reaction would be like, well, why are you married? And so then you're like, well, that's not, that's not what I want. You don't need to have that reaction. So you have to then make fun of yourself, but with her, and you gotta do it in a way that where they're like, they can tell that you do love your wife. You love your family and you, you know? And so it's just kinda like, just making fun of each other. But, uh, yeah, I'll run by stuff.

• 29:03Will Arnett?

  But that comes across, and you've, you do that bit about the guy coming to replace the water heater in your other special. And you're, and the, you go, finally, the guy realizes you don't know what you're talking about. He thinks, maybe this is a modern relationship. And he says, Nate, Nate, the guy said, is your husband here? And then you go, yeah, I think she's here somewhere.

• 29:22Will Arnett?

  It's so good. And it is, like you said, you're, you're self-deprecating. You're the, you're the, the butt of the joke, which I think is always such a winning combo. You're not making fun of somebody, you're not having a laugh at somebody else's expense. You're not putting somebody else down to make yourself funny, which is great.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I, I just never liked it. Like, I felt bad. I mean, I'll like make fun of my buddies and comics and stuff. But in the audience, you just, I just always felt, you know, it's like this person's just trying to sit there. They don't need to.

• 29:54Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Be like, big, what's your shirt, your shirt's stupid? And then I got my shirt on tucked in, and I go, right? Don't we all got stupid shirts?

• 30:04Sean Hayes?

  Do you, do you still live in Tennessee?

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I moved back. I saw, I was gone like 13 years. And then, uh, we've been back for about, uh, nine.

• 30:13Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I hear it's beautiful down there.

• 30:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it's so good, right?

• 30:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm born and raised there, it's great. We have as much of a normal life as it can be. We're in a, live in a cul-de-sac, uh, the house at the top, so we have the leaders. And, uh, we set the tone for it.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  I have a joke, I'll just say it about new actress and we do all in our Coliseum, we do all the right things. Like if someone pulls down there, we're like, what are you doing down our street? Any car we don't know, we're just run out, but you better get out of our Coliseum. Furious if they come down.

• 30:51Sean Hayes?

  Brothers and sisters growing up?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  I have a younger brother and a younger sister.

• 30:57Sean Hayes?

  So you're the oldest of the three?

• 30:59Speaker 03

  I am.

• 31:00Sean Hayes?

  And do they, are they finding you funny all the time or like, yeah?

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. My brother's like three years younger than me. My sister's about 10. I've talked about her in a special and she, she works for me now too. So that's fine. I mean, get yelled at by her.

• 31:16Will Arnett?

  I mean, you got your whole fam, you got your sisters working for you and then you're on tour with your mom and dad and your aunt and.

• 31:23Sean Hayes?

  That's cool though. That's cool.

• 31:25Will Arnett?

  It's pretty rad.

• 31:26Jason Bateman?

  I don't think you've said this, but you, sorry, do you have kids?

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have a 11 year old daughter.

• 31:32Will Arnett?

  Why are you so nervous to ask him that? By the way, he's married, he said he's not available.

• 31:37Jason Bateman?

  What are the kids' ages?

• 31:38Speaker 03

  I did say before, don't ask about if I have kids.

• 31:41Jason Bateman?

  Oh, damn it.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Oh, all right. I guess we're, okay. Yeah, now I have one, 11 year old daughter.

• 31:47Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's great.

• 31:48Jason Bateman?

  11 year old daughter. And what does it seem like she's gonna want to do with her life? Does she want to?

• 31:53Speaker 03

  She loves horses right now. I don't know why.

• 31:56Jason Bateman?

  That sounds expensive. That's expensive.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  It is. I don't, I don't even know where, no one, we don't come from horse stuff, you know?

• 32:04Will Arnett?

  You're not, you're not horse people?

• 32:05Speaker 03

  No, there's never horse people, but she loves horses. So right now she's kind of doing that stuff, but she's very creative, very funny and she, you know, will get me and my wife laughing a lot, you know? And like, I think I gotta teach her where, to where the joke, you gotta be like, all right, well, you gotta be serious.

• 32:22Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, isn't that funny? It's like there's, there's, there's the little, there's the age when they learn sarcasm, they learn humor and, but they don't yet know when to stop the joke. They don't know when to do the joke. But you don't want to shame them because you don't want to kill their spirit or their sense of humor. So you just gotta kind of grin and bear. So many things in their life. It's so incredible watching kids learn things that we forgot that we learned. You know, like it's amazing. You know, nothing until you learn it.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  She can make fun of her friends recently and like I think, but then they all got like, it was like they did not like it. And I was like, and it was funny. I forget what it was, but it was like, it was something funny, but you're like, all right, you gotta understand. You're like, you gotta, some people will be able to handle it like, you know, she's just is all about the joke. Cause it's obviously just our, you know, her grandfather's a magician, comedian like, so it's, it's a lot of joking.

• 33:20Will Arnett?

  I think, yeah, I think that making fun of your friends is, is not a good path to go down. It's not.

• 33:26Jason Bateman?

  Unless it's Sean. Unless it's Sean. I mean, it's such a big button to hit.

• 33:30Will Arnett?

  No, I thought we were talking about friends. Yeah, Sean.

• 33:32Jason Bateman?

  Oh, right.

• 33:33Sean Hayes?

  You know what I mean? Feel warm inside.

• 33:35Jason Bateman?

  Where's that? What, what's after Syracuse? Where do you go next?

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Albany. So we started in.

• 33:41Will Arnett?

  Of course, of course. And what, and just fucks connected to you? Like, what are you doing, dude?

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is the route. I know we started last night. We were in Philly at the Fargo, like it was where the, the Sixers play.

• 33:53Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Big thing. And then, then it goes Syracuse and then it'll go Albany. And then that's, these are the two that Fallon wanted to come to was Syracuse and Albany.

• 34:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah, of course. That's a big, those are big venues.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:05Will Arnett?

  Uh, he is, he's from upstate New York. What, what, where are you, what, uh, what arena or place are you playing tonight in Syracuse?

• 34:12Speaker 03

  The, you know, the arena.

• 34:14Will Arnett?

  The Carrier Dome, probably, right? Is that what it is?

• 34:17Speaker 03

  No, no. Yeah, no, I've been to a game there. That's like a huge.

• 34:22Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 34:22Speaker 03

  I've been to basketball game there. It's like even the basketball court's set up. It's your, people buy tickets that are like, I don't think they could see the court. They're sitting like behind the court.

• 34:32Jason Bateman?

  Would there be a crowd that's just too big for, for a comedy show? Where it's just like, it's, it, it needs to be a little bit more intimate. Like 20,000 people is like right at the max, maybe, or, or no?

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, it's all about how we feel. We have like, you know, the arenas, we have these big screens. Uh, we have, I've put more speakers up. So everybody can hear it everywhere. You really do try to make it intimate. I mean, you can tell everybody gets real quiet. I mean, that's the cool. It's one of the coolest things is when you're telling a joke and you're this many people are quiet.

• 35:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  You know, and this guy, and they're just, I mean, you could, I could yell with no microphone and the top person could hear me. Is it gets that quiet?

• 35:10Jason Bateman?

  That's so cool.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I mean, I'd imagine if you did a stadium, you know, I, I could see it getting a little. Lou, you know, and we're in the middle too of an arena, so I'm, it makes it a lot, I'm a lot closer to everybody.

• 35:23Will Arnett?

  Do a hundred thou, do a Hondo. Come on, do the big, do the big house of Michigan.

• 35:28Jason Bateman?

  Have you ever had a moment where you kind of scare yourself a little bit by thinking about all the eyes that are looking at you? And that they're not talking and that it is silent and that you might not be doing well and you can't leave.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Asking for a friend?

• 35:46Jason Bateman?

  Forty-five minutes.

• 35:47Will Arnett?

  Are you scared of the eyes?

• 35:50Jason Bateman?

  I mean, if you ever had a panic attack on, on a stage and know that you can't, you can't leave for another hour.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I mean, I've done it so long now that you're, it's.

• 36:02Jason Bateman?

  Keep your knees bent. It's happened to me. I mean.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I, I mean, I've done it now. It's like, yeah, I mean, you, you think about it. I had it at SNL. Like a little bit when I did the monologue. I was more nervous with the monologue because it's like stand up and you're like, I'm supposed to be good. And at this and, and then you gotta kind of deliver the jokes into the camera, but there's the crowd. And so like, it was very weird to deliver jokes to kind of a spot where no one's at.

• 36:26Jason Bateman?

  Right. And you're right on the heels of, of sitting, of standing back behind that flat, behind the band, right? That little narrow, little plank and the whole crowd is silent and they're counting down to that live moment to America. Like it becomes really tangible. Like you're not just live in front of, you know, you, you know, a crowd. It, it's beaming across, you know, the planet.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:48Jason Bateman?

  It like, it's real tangible there.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. You're like, I could say anything right now and they're going to hear it right now because it's live, you know?

• 36:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Remember when we, I, I used to remember like 20 jokes when I was, when I was a kid. I used to love them. Now I can only remember like one or two, but

• 37:06Will Arnett?

  Go ahead and tell one.

• 37:07Jason Bateman?

  From back then, no, they're not that great.

• 37:09Will Arnett?

  Go, go tell one, Jay.

• 37:10Jason Bateman?

  Do you have any jokes?

• 37:11Will Arnett?

  You want to hear a guy tell a joke inside out? Go ahead.

• 37:16Jason Bateman?

  I do get a little tripped up. Do you have a joke from when you were a kid that you'll never forget? You may not use it in your act, but it's just like, just a classic that was one of your favorites?

• 37:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't use it in my act.

• 37:30Jason Bateman?

  You say you do?

• 37:31Speaker 03

  I hang, no, I didn't hang on to your like, I kept it. I started a joke book when I was five and I'm closing on it.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  It's, I remember the joke, it was, I said, there was a, it was a joke book or something and there was a guy goes, waiter, there's a spider, or there's a fly in my soup. And then the waiter goes, well, don't worry, the spider on your bread will get it.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  It was a picture of a spider, but, and so my dad always brings, I remember that joke and then my dad brought it up. Cause I would like, I was explaining why the joke was funny to him. And like, kind of going through it, like, here's why this is funny, you know? So that, that, that one was the first one, but I let it go.

• 38:12Will Arnett?

  Do you guys have jokes from when you were a kid that you, you'll never forget? One joke that's appropriate to tell?

• 38:19Will Arnett?

  Is there one like a go to that you remember?

• 38:21Sean Hayes?

  I had a joke book when I was really little, it was.

• 38:24Will Arnett?

  You have a joke book now, but here, keep going.

• 38:27Sean Hayes?

  It was, it's not funny. It's, it was funny when I was like six years old. It's like, where do dead people, people go in your house? And it was the living room.

• 38:36Will Arnett?

  I have one, which is like, people always say the ballet is really hard to do. And so I always say, just don't do it.

• 38:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Oh, see Nate laughed, Nate laughed at that.

• 38:46Will Arnett?

  That was Sean's opening joke when he did stand up.

• 38:49Jason Bateman?

  And what is the, this would probably be interesting for folks, including me. What are the, how do you do the economics of being a stand up? I'm assuming you have to bear all the costs of the trucks and the infrastructure and all that stuff. And then you get to keep whatever you don't spend on what it costs to put the show up, right? And you're making your money based on ticket sales and merchandise perhaps? Full stop.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, we don't, I mean, merch is not, merch is not the biggest thing in stand up.

• 39:20Sean Hayes?

  Why?

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we've had it, we've done it at shows and it's just, it does, it's not like a concert or people don't. Like I was saying, like stand up's still kind of. It's kind of a newer thing, like Cosby's like one of the first, he's still alive. And like, you know, like he knew Lenny Bruce.

• 39:35Will Arnett?

  And then don't, you gotta, if I could give you one piece of advice.

• 39:39Jason Bateman?

  If we could just lose the Cosby references.

• 39:43Will Arnett?

  Well, if we could get it down to single digits, it would be great.

• 39:49Jason Bateman?

  Or you know what?

• 39:49Speaker 03

  Louis CK was.

• 39:51Jason Bateman?

  I'm gonna send you a couple of articles.

• 39:52Will Arnett?

  Harvey Weinstein and I once set up an LLC. But, but, but, so, so you've got this, you've got this huge.

• 40:02Jason Bateman?

  Apparatus.

• 40:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah, apparatus, right?

• 40:05Speaker 03

  Like, but you know, you know, you could do it without it. But you get like a deal, so you have promoters and then the, yeah, you are, I think the, it's like the promoter's the one that's putting the money for like the, the renting of the venue.

• 40:18Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 40:19Speaker 03

  And then I'm paying, then it comes out of mine, the show budget of the speakers and the, all that stuff. And so you can, you can have it go as low or as big as you want it to go.

• 40:30Will Arnett?

  Who's your manager? Who are your peeps?

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Brillstein.

• 40:33Will Arnett?

  They're the.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Brillstein and UTA. Yeah.

• 40:38Jason Bateman?

  We'll be right back.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain or color changes in fingers and toes.

• 41:28Speaker 04

  Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit Nurtac.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist or whatever's keeping you going today.

• 41:41Speaker 05

  Computers are getting smarter. Silicon Valley is getting weirder and AI is taking over. At least that's what everyone keeps telling us. Welcome to Machine Gods, a new NPR podcast that will be your field guide to the AI-powered future. We're veteran tech journalists with front row seats to the industry. And twice a week, we'll make sure you get smarter about AI. So you know what's real, what's hype, and what might come next. Listen to Machine Gods from NPR on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 42:12Jason Bateman?

  All right, back to the show.

• 42:16Sean Hayes?

  By the way, backing way up to the beginning of this interview, what is Bargatze? What is the nationality of Bargatze?

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Italian.

• 42:22Sean Hayes?

  Oh, it is?

• 42:23Will Arnett?

  First of all, don't spit it out like that.

• 42:25Sean Hayes?

  No, like, no, I meant.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  What the fuck is haze?

• 42:28Will Arnett?

  The fuck is wrong with you? Sorry, Nate.

• 42:32Sean Hayes?

  Jesus.

• 42:33Jason Bateman?

  I never, I mean, I knew it, but I.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  What the fuck is Bargatze?

• 42:37Sean Hayes?

  I've just never heard of it.

• 42:38Will Arnett?

  This has really been a bee in my bonnet for a minute. How do you even spell that?

• 42:44Sean Hayes?

  I know, I can't even begin to spell it. I kind of, I knew that, but I forgot that I knew that. Italian, wow.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  I think we say it wrong as a family, too. I think it's supposed to be Bargatze. And we say Bargatze, like, it's just, we've southerned it up.

• 42:56Sean Hayes?

  Oh, I say Bargatze.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think a lot of people would. When I went to New, when I lived in New York, they would always be like Bargatze, because it's like Italian. And I was like, you know, I was like, I don't like tomatoes.

• 43:07Jason Bateman?

  Do you have family in Italy?

• 43:09Speaker 03

  I don't, you know.

• 43:10Jason Bateman?

  You don't know, yeah.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  I think we've all agreed to kind of go. We had a family reunion once and we had family come over from Italy and we got Kentucky Fried Chicken for them. And I think it was like, from that moment was just kind of like, all right, y'all have a good life. We did it. We're gonna do our thing, we're gonna do y'all's thing. And we just kind of gone our separate ways.

• 43:33Will Arnett?

  Nate, what do you like to do, do you, in your free time? And you've got a lot of time, like, on a bus or you're touring or on the plane or whatever. What do you, what do you watch? What are the things? Are you a sports guy? Do you like, do you watch other stand-ups?

• 43:45Jason Bateman?

  Is it Candy Crush? What's, how you occupying your minutes?

• 43:49Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I'm a big sports guy, so I watch a lot of golf, like any, any sports. Golf, UFC, I watch a lot of UFC.

• 43:56Will Arnett?

  Oh, you do, right?

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm a big fan of UFC.

• 43:59Will Arnett?

  I wanted to, I wanted to peg that, I wanted to peg you for a big.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  It's just the most, I, uh, the honesty of it with like Dana White, just in the fighters, they can say whatever they want. And so there's no, you know, like when Tom Brady is he go retire or not retire, it's like, it's all kind of a game and a show. And UFC kind of really is like, we just got a dude that just says, I want to fight this guy.

• 44:24Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  And then the, it, it just gets to it and you're, I don't know, I kind of like, I love it.

• 44:28Will Arnett?

  But there's, but, but there's, there's no romance to that too, though, right? Like the kind of.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  There's the buildup to it and then they get in the, you know, then they don't like each other and then you're, you know, and then you go in there and watch them fight. It's not just watching a street fight, you're watching two professionals that have to like fill each other out.

• 44:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah. So you watch UFC, you watch golf, you like to play golf, you play golf when you're on the road?

• 44:47Speaker 03

  Some, it gets hard, but it's, cause of the shows and stuff, but yeah, I'll play some on the road.

• 44:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, it's kind of it. I mean, I don't know, it's like you're just running around, got a lot of stuff, a lot of hanging out. Like the road is the most fun, cause it's just like a bunch of dudes and, you know, this morning we went in Syracuse, we're in Syracuse and this place has a hot and cold plunge thing.

• 45:10Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  And, uh.

• 45:11Sean Hayes?

  Will love.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  So I've never done it and then so, but they let us come in, so like we woke up and did that.

• 45:16Sean Hayes?

  Wait, who is, who is Boo Weekly? I saw, I read, I saw something.

• 45:20Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:20Sean Hayes?

  What is that?

• 45:21Speaker 03

  So I, this is another, I told it on SNL, I tell it in my act too, uh, but it Boo Weekly, uh, cause I have a joke about fighting orangutan at a county fair.

• 45:32Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  And where I read the story was, there's a golfer named Boo Weekly and when he read, uh, he said when he was 15, he got in. He goes to this county fair, he's from like Georgia, like southern, southern Georgia, uh, it's like the eighties, you know, and, uh, there, you could pay five dollars to fight an orangutan. An orangutan would be in a, a boxing ring with boxing gloves. And so dudes would pay five dollars to fight him and, uh.

• 46:01Will Arnett?

  That's hysterical.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then guys would get in there and this orangutan would just knock people out. Because when I say this, I tell the whole story in my act, but I say, because we didn't have the internet to look up how strong's an orangutan. You have, it was all word of mouth back then. So, you know, you had to meet a guy that just fought an orangutan. And he's like, he's stronger than you think. You know, you're like, well, but the arms are so skinny. Yeah, I know. That's what I thought as well.

• 46:30Will Arnett?

  And the reach.

• 46:31Jason Bateman?

  It's the reach, it's the jabs.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  It's the feet, look at his feet. His feet's bigger than you, yeah, that strength comes from somewhere.

• 46:37Will Arnett?

  And they'll rip your face off too, if they want.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  Well, that's what Boo Wiggie said, he goes, that's not written everywhere back in 1982, when you're fighting orangutan. The guy that does this doesn't go, you sign a waiver.

• 46:49Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't realize till afterwards, like, that's why he has gloves on. If this thing, if it gets the gloves off, there's a chance it will rip your head off. So, but, you know, what are you gonna do, ride the scrambler again?

• 47:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 47:06Jason Bateman?

  That's really funny. I wonder if that's still in existence anywhere in the country. I bet there's still a place.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  So, PETA, I think PETA got ahold of a lot of this.

• 47:16Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 47:17Jason Bateman?

  They knocked those things down.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  And that one, they were like, you can't do that. We're like, alright, we thought they liked it. I'm glad you just had to tell us. And we got rid of it, fair enough.

• 47:27Sean Hayes?

  Nate, what are you gonna do today before the show?

• 47:29Jason Bateman?

  Tell them you're busy.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  It was this, and then, yeah, it was just this. I don't have any, like, I gotta read where, I'm messing up some, the order, a little bit, so I'll do that a little, and then, we're just hanging out and be at the venue if there's, we do try to shoot basketball, like, some of these arenas, if they have a basketball goal somewhere, we try to like, mess around, shoot basketball, just kind of, you know, do whatever until.

• 47:55Sean Hayes?

  That's nice.

• 47:56Will Arnett?

  And then you're going, and then you're going on tour, you got a new special, you're shooting a new special.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  In Phoenix, yeah.

• 48:03Will Arnett?

  You love Phoenix, you love, you've taught, you did another, you did your last special in Phoenix.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  I did my last special there, and this one's gonna be in the Footprint Center, where the Suns play. So, it's, yeah, it's, yeah, I mean.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  It just kind of works out like touring wise, like you just hit these towns like every two years or so. And so it just kind of like.

• 48:23Sean Hayes?

  And your family goes with you or do they stay home or?

• 48:25Speaker 03

  They do some, yeah, yeah, we went to Europe, like they came to Europe, they come to the, you know, they're not here in Syracuse or Albany, but they. If they're, I'm doing the Boston Garden, they're gonna come to Boston.

• 48:35Jason Bateman?

  Tell them to join you out in Phoenix and for some of the, the best pizza in the world as voted by the, the, the voters.

• 48:44Will Arnett?

  By the people.

• 48:45Jason Bateman?

  At Chris Bianco's.

• 48:46Will Arnett?

  At Chris Bianco's Pizza.

• 48:47Sean Hayes?

  Nate, can you do, I saw you do this one thing a long time ago, you don't have to do it, but if you're like, I gotta go. But one of the funniest things I ever saw you do.

• 48:55Will Arnett?

  Sorry, dude.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  You want me to stand up and do my act?

• 48:57Will Arnett?

  Do you mind, I mean.

• 48:58Jason Bateman?

  Actually, if you just show us your tits real quick and then get, and then go to Sean.

• 49:02Will Arnett?

  Would you mind doing it topless?

• 49:05Sean Hayes?

  Show us your tits.

• 49:08Sean Hayes?

  No, the, one of the funniest things was, I, it was a story about your meeting your wife's ex-boyfriend.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, on the boat.

• 49:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  I went, yeah, we went, uh, I gotta remember it, but we went to, it happened, we're on the lake, Old Hickory Lake.

• 49:28Sean Hayes?

  Is that true?

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, and we're in, uh, we're like in the water and then it's, uh, my wife's ex-boyfriend was on another boat.

• 49:37Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  And I didn't see him and she pointed it out, like there's no reason to point it out. And but she pointed it out, so then, yeah, like all I can think of now, like I'm, I'm thinking about him, like, and then I, I look at her and she's looking at him and I feel like she's looking at him. See what her life would be like if she didn't marry me.

• 49:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  And I was looking at him to see what my life would be like if I didn't marry her. So we're both putting a lot of pressure on this guy.

• 50:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  And then my buddy told me, he's, he's like, you should go fight him. And I was like, what, like he's on a boat, like I gotta, I gotta swim over to that fight. Have you ever tried climbing a boat from water? It's not, it's not graceful, it's not easy. You don't come in with power, I would need his help to start the fight.

• 50:23Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  I think that was it, yeah.

• 50:25Sean Hayes?

  That was, it's so funny. But I just, I mean, we can all relate to meeting exes, you know, our current exes.

• 50:33Jason Bateman?

  It's never good.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I, yeah, I don't really have exes.

• 50:38Sean Hayes?

  All right.

• 50:39Jason Bateman?

  Well, Nate.

• 50:40Will Arnett?

  What are you talking about, Nate?

• 50:41Jason Bateman?

  Hey, now, hang on a second.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  I know, I didn't go, I know, but that's what made it frustrating. I don't, I had no one to go show my wife, well, here's mine.

• 50:48Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  I was just gonna be.

• 50:50Sean Hayes?

  What do you mean? Cause you, what is she, your high school sweetheart or something?

• 50:53Speaker 03

  No, we started dating like 20, 21. We met at Applebee's. Uh, we both waited tables at Applebee's. I was a host at the time, but.

• 51:01Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's great.

• 51:02Jason Bateman?

  I love that. You don't need to scream. Yeah.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  Little stuff is going, you know.

• 51:07Will Arnett?

  Sounds like it's all good in the neighborhood or what do we?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're all in the neighborhood.

• 51:11Will Arnett?

  We're all in the neighborhood or something.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, in the neighborhood. But we're big fans. We took our daughter.

• 51:15Sean Hayes?

  What was your favorite thing on the Applebee's menu?

• 51:18Will Arnett?

  Here we go.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Uh, they did chicken broccoli Alfredo. I'd get no broccoli, you know?

• 51:22Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  Get that out of there. And then, uh, I'd say put it on the side just so the guy thinks I'm going to eat it. Then he would just take a full plate of broccoli back after. I go, ah, I got full on the other stuff.

• 51:36Sean Hayes?

  That's so true. Like we, like we're worried what they think, yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:40Will Arnett?

  Watch this. Do you think that's impressive? Sean, Applebee's menu backwards.

• 51:44Sean Hayes?

  Go. Uh, cobbler, apple cobbler.

• 51:49Will Arnett?

  Of those kind of, those kinds of restaurants.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  Chinese chicken salad, pretty good.

• 51:54Sean Hayes?

  I'll eat that.

• 51:54Will Arnett?

  Every, every place makes a Chinese chicken salad now. That's like, that's kind of like the new, uh, you know, molten lava cake. Every place has a Chinese chicken.

• 52:03Sean Hayes?

  What makes it a Chinese chicken salad? It's just because of the ginger dressing?

• 52:07Speaker 03

  They're the only ones that don't eat it.

• 52:10Jason Bateman?

  And those crispy noodles, the crispy noodles and the, uh.

• 52:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you get the crispy.

• 52:16Jason Bateman?

  Chin Chin, no, listen, Sean, I don't have to tell you.

• 52:18Sean Hayes?

  Chin Chin.

• 52:19Will Arnett?

  Chin Chin.

• 52:19Jason Bateman?

  Chin Chin does the best one. Yeah.

• 52:21Will Arnett?

  One of the best ones.

• 52:22Jason Bateman?

  One of the best ones.

• 52:23Sean Hayes?

  Jones on third.

• 52:24Will Arnett?

  Sean highlighting his Chin Chin Chin. Wait, so of all those kinds of restaurants, I forget what you call them. Are they big box restaurants?

• 52:31Speaker 03

  No, chain restaurants.

• 52:32Will Arnett?

  Chain restaurants.

• 52:33Speaker 03

  Have y'all not been to one in a while? Like you just go.

• 52:36Will Arnett?

  It's been a minute, but I did like to see in your new special, Nate says everything, everything I learned, I don't know a lot that came from a big, like, you know, like a building, like a higher education building. Everything I learned, I overheard at a Target or a Lowe's.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  At a Lowe's, yeah, in line at Lowe's.

• 52:50Will Arnett?

  Everything I overheard.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're big chain. I grew up like we're a, you know, I had an old joke about like I was a big, I don't like mom and pop shops because they can close just they're like, we don't feel good today and they close like Walmart. Walmart, you know, they were a mom and pop shop at some point and then they became, they got it together and became unreal.

• 53:13Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  So.

• 53:15Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I like those too.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  I like mom and pop shops.

• 53:17Will Arnett?

  Here's what I like. I like Chili's and I'm not, I'm not afraid to say.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  They have the great, they have the great chocolate lava cake. If you want one, go to Chili's.

• 53:26Will Arnett?

  Go to Chili's and they also have the great, they used to have the Southwest egg rolls or whatever. They used to have those things. They were great. Me and Dax used to always go to, God, I love a Chili's.

• 53:34Jason Bateman?

  What about Outback? They any good with the blooming onion?

• 53:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. We go to Outback a good bit.

• 53:38Sean Hayes?

  Scotty, Scotty worked at TGIF and he would have.

• 53:40Jason Bateman?

  Oh, I used to love that place.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  That's good too. That's fun.

• 53:42Jason Bateman?

  That's an intimidating menu.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  Dr. Pepper's doing some pretty amazing things right now. So if you are into Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, they got some real good stuff going on.

• 53:53Jason Bateman?

  And some cherries, alright?

• 53:54Speaker 03

  They got some, like some soda, like cream soda, strawberry stuff. I mean, it's, it's something, dude. They're, they're showing off over there.

• 54:01Will Arnett?

  Did we ever get any confirmation on, on, on the doctor portion of the pepper? Like, did they, did we ever see documentation to prove that he graduated?

• 54:10Speaker 03

  He suggests diet. He suggests diet.

• 54:12Jason Bateman?

  What kind of doctor was he?

• 54:13Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 54:15Jason Bateman?

  Dr. Pop, he was a.

• 54:16Will Arnett?

  I do like Diet Dr. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper too. And I'm gonna say this, I like their ads, I like their TV ads.

• 54:22Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 54:22Will Arnett?

  I think they're funny, the college football ads. I think they're real clever. Nate, before I let you go, how do you know Greg Garcia? How did that happen? This son of a gun, speaking of son of a guns.

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Uh, so I, we, I've, I've tried to make a bunch of shows that have never gone. We've had one show that we shot a pilot and, and so Greg came in. Uh, I did not know him, but he came in, Danielle Sanchez Whitzel. Uh, she was show running it and she's friends with Greg. And so Greg came in to help us do it. And I, I knew Greg Garcia's work, but I didn't know him when he first came in. So before he first came in, he's like, he's gonna help us. And I was like, I don't know. Who this dude is.

• 55:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Uh, I gotta listen to this guy. And then, uh, we wrote our whole, rewrote the whole script on his, off just his ideas. Cause they were so good. And, uh, obviously he's unreal. And, uh, so we just become really close and become friends. I, uh, I was just with him this week, uh, actually, uh, at, uh, dinner with him. Cause I had to go to LA for a second and, uh, so, uh, he's, yeah, we became friends like that. And he's, he comes out on the road too. I'm telling you, y'all should, y'all come out on the road. If you, if you wanna get away and have a little fun trip, come on out.

• 55:37Will Arnett?

  Dude, that would actually be really, really fun if you mean it.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  It's a fun.

• 55:40Will Arnett?

  If you mean it.

• 55:41Speaker 03

  I swear Fallon's coming tonight. Oh, yeah. We have a fun time. It's, you just, uh, play cards or you play, uh, you know, like we, we went to casino last night in, uh, uh.

• 55:53Will Arnett?

  Sean, I mean, first of all, this is your dream. They, they go to casino and they're, they're going to chain restaurants. I mean, you know, every, every single, every Cracker Barrel has got, got, uh, skin marks in front from Sean's car.

• 56:09Jason Bateman?

  Cracker Barrel is one we didn't touch on. I've not been there, but I hear that's the one.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  Anywhere that can handle bus parking is all chain stuff.

• 56:16Will Arnett?

  Well, Greg Garcia is one of the all time, uh, great guys. Super, super funny guy. One of the funniest pranks, he always, I'm not really like a big pranks guy, but he is so funny. I had a long joke and a prank and I just, he's such a great guy. So, yeah, that makes sense that you guys would be pals. Well, listen, I, I'm gonna return the, the offer and say, next time you're out here in California, let's go play golf, man. And, and hang out and grab some lunch. Uh, such a huge fan of yours, dude. Honestly, you're just the funniest, funniest, funniest dude.

• 56:47Sean Hayes?

  It's so good to see you. So exciting to see you, just more and more and more people appreciate you.

• 56:51Will Arnett?

  Really happy for your success and truly, truly, truly, yeah, man.

• 56:54Speaker 03

  Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for, thanks for having me on.

• 56:56Jason Bateman?

  Nate, thank you for doing this.

• 56:58Will Arnett?

  What a thrill.

• 56:58Jason Bateman?

  Thank you for saying it.

• 56:59Will Arnett?

  What a thrill. All right. The great Nate Brigazzi. Thank you, buddy.

• 57:02Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, Nate.

• 57:02Jason Bateman?

  Thanks, Nate.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Thank you, guys.

• 57:04Will Arnett?

  See you, man. Have fun.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 57:08Jason Bateman?

  The great Nate.

• 57:10Will Arnett?

  The great Nate.

• 57:11Jason Bateman?

  The great Nate.

• 57:11Will Arnett?

  God, is he funny.

• 57:13Sean Hayes?

  Yep. Old, like, old school, clean, good, hilarious, nonstop.

• 57:18Will Arnett?

  Hilarious.

• 57:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 57:18Will Arnett?

  God.

• 57:20Jason Bateman?

  He just seems like a real kind fella, you know?

• 57:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I can't see him getting upset.

• 57:24Jason Bateman?

  I'm sure you could figure out a way to piss him off. How would you, what would be your strategy if you really wanted to get Nate pissed off?

• 57:32Sean Hayes?

  I'd ask him this, I'd ask him questions over, I'd ask him the same thing over and over again, like I didn't understand.

• 57:37Jason Bateman?

  No, I think he'd be very patient with that. I don't think that would be his button pusher.

• 57:41Sean Hayes?

  No, like, no, but like, if you, if you just went on and on about something, like, you just really, honestly, truly didn't understand, I think it pisses anybody off.

• 57:50Will Arnett?

  I wonder.

• 57:50Sean Hayes?

  Like, what are you not getting, right?

• 57:53Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:53Sean Hayes?

  You know what I mean?

• 57:54Will Arnett?

  No, but we have a pretty high threshold to, like, we have a pretty decent amount of patience for you in that regard.

• 58:00Jason Bateman?

  What is the thing, what is the thing that gets you guys to anger quicker than anything else?

• 58:05Sean Hayes?

  Stupidity. People who don't think like I do.

• 58:09Will Arnett?

  I have a short fuse for stuff. I, I, yeah, I don't suffer.

• 58:12Sean Hayes?

  I have a short fuse for, like, yeah, people who are incompetent or, like, can't, like, like, like, don't have common sense about, like, easy things. And then in the meantime, I'm the dumbest person on the planet and I probably do the same thing.

• 58:26Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 58:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah. I hate when, I hate when people, like, punch down, you know?

• 58:33Will Arnett?

  Yes.

• 58:33Jason Bateman?

  When they're, like, mean to people because they know they can be.

• 58:36Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:37Jason Bateman?

  So lazy.

• 58:38Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, it is.

• 58:40Will Arnett?

  Punch down either, e- e- either, especially if it, you know, we, we do do a lot of joking around and we, and we love to sort of rib each other and stuff. But, but anytime I see somebody who likes to, and we talked about with Nate, who likes to get a laugh at somebody else's expense.

• 58:57Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah. Or, you know what else hits, pisses me off? Confident ignorance.

• 59:03Will Arnett?

  That can also be super funny, though.

• 59:04Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, sometimes. Well, in a character, it can be.

• 59:07Jason Bateman?

  Right, you have to do it on purpose. But, yeah, a person who is much smarter, or much more confident than they have a right to be,

• 59:14Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 59:14Jason Bateman?

  is just grading.

• 59:17Jason Bateman?

  Because you have to spend an effort to convince them that you're buying it.

• 59:21Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 59:22Will Arnett?

  But if you have no dog in that fight and you're just observing that person, it can be hilarious.

• 59:26Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:27Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that is true. That is true.

• 59:29Jason Bateman?

  By the way, I love playing those characters.

• 59:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, you do.

• 59:33Jason Bateman?

  The character that's just, just an alpha everywhere. And then the tough guy walks in and then they're beta. Hi, beta.

• 59:41Sean Hayes?

  Right, right, right, right, right. Exactly. But Nate, we should go see his show when he's out. He's so funny.

• 59:47Jason Bateman?

  I think we should meet him in Phoenix and go get some of that Bianco pizza.

• 59:50Will Arnett?

  We should. And then play some golf over there. You're not playing golf anymore.

• 59:54Jason Bateman?

  Not till October. I have to be disciplined, you know?

• 59:58Will Arnett?

  I know. I mean, we can go, we can go to Nate's.

• 1:00:02Jason Bateman?

  Here it comes.

• 1:00:03Will Arnett?

  We can go to his show and like participate, or we can go and just be a bunch of. Bystanders.

• 1:00:11Jason Bateman?

  Bystanders. So dumb when we do.

• 1:00:15Will Arnett?

  Smart.

• 1:00:21Speaker 06

  Smart. Less.

• 1:00:26Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbaco.

• 1:00:39Speaker 06

  Smart. Less.