"RE-RELEASE: Emma Stone"

Actor and web-designer Emma Stone joins us this week to discuss poignant topics like Albert Einstein, The Spice Girls, and the cure for hiccups. Get tattoos with your whole family… Welcome to HairLess [scratch that] an all-new SmartLess. This episode was originally released on 12/11/2023.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So the other day, I wanted to make invitations for my dog Ricky's birthday party. And I've got three things open on my laptop. An adorable photo of Ricky, a picture of a birthday cake, and the RSVP details. Thing is, as much as I look like one, I'm not a canine birthday party invitation designer. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop with a feature called Magic Pointer. I just click the photos and different elements on my screen, and boom, Magic Pointer designs a customized birthday party invitation for Ricky. Click anything on your screen to create whatever you want. Visit googlebook.com. Available to 18-plus users.

• 0:44Sean Hayes?

  Compatibility and availability vary.

• 0:49Sean Hayes?

  This message is brought to you by Apple Card. The fall season always brings its fair share of surprises, like the first snow or a late-night trip to the store for your kid's school project. No matter what the season brings, Apple Card's got you covered. You can earn 2% daily cash back when you use Apple Card with Apple Pay. Apply for Apple Card now and use in minutes with Apple Pay. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.

• 1:30Sean Hayes?

  Can we talk about something embarrassing besides the sound of my voice? Imagine you're at lunch. The server brings a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar while the food is still on the way. You think, "Just a sip while I wait for my chili dog." So you take that sip, but suddenly, you can't stop drinking that delicious ice-cold Coke Zero. The food arrives, and you're just sitting there, emotionally unprepared, waiting for a lifesaving refill. Real Coca-Cola taste with zero sugar? It's hard to resist. Coca-Cola Zero Sugar: Too Good to Wait. Enjoy the delicious taste of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 2:10Sean Hayes?

  Hey guys, are you looking to hire for a new startup or maybe a new business? Well, have I got the thing for you. If you're a small business, the right hire can be make or break. Indeed Sponsored Jobs gets you quality candidates when you need them most. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring now, then this is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs.

• 3:03Sean Hayes?

  I had a dream last night that it was the best episode we've ever done. So I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, got in here, fired up the old machine, and I'm now waiting on these guys. And I am loose. I got a little bit of a sweat going. The hammies are pliable, flexible, and the jaw muscles are ready to really ask some tough questions and giggle at my funny little friends, Sean and Will. Guys, welcome to Smart List.

• 3:52Sean Hayes?

  Hi guys. Shut up, Sean.

• 3:53Will Arnett?

  Oh my God. I haven't laughed so hard as I did today.

• 3:59Sean Hayes?

  Today.

• 4:00Will Arnett?

  When we were standing on the street. We'd just come out of a... Meeting, the three of us.

• 4:06Jason Bateman?

  Like adults.

• 4:07Will Arnett?

  Like adults. And Sean, Sean starts to say something and he, like he's doing right now, he, he undoes the top of a bottle of water and he's about to take a sip and, or he's going to do it, and Jason slaps it out of his hand.

• 4:21Sean Hayes?

  Lands on the ground.

• 4:23Will Arnett?

  And it lands on the ground.

• 4:23Jason Bateman?

  Just a fun, a fun little hair pull.

• 4:26Will Arnett?

  Yeah, just a little, little fun, fun, fun.

• 4:28Jason Bateman?

  It's a plastic bottle, nothing broke.

• 4:30Will Arnett?

  So I reached down to grab it because it falls at my feet and I hand it to Sean and as he reaches for it, I just drop it right before he can grab it, like a child.

• 4:39Sean Hayes?

  That's twice, that's twice, I've been denied water.

• 4:41Will Arnett?

  And as it lands on the ground, Sean reaches down to get it and Jason kicks it. And it goes flying, hits a curb and goes under a parked, like, construction truck.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  It explodes, the top comes flying off, the water's everywhere.

• 4:54Sean Hayes?

  Fucking funny, I was crying.

• 4:56Will Arnett?

  And I haven't laughed that hard, I fell to my knees.

• 4:58Sean Hayes?

  Because it was so, it was high school all over again, it was like, it was a little bullying.

• 5:03Jason Bateman?

  We're just, you know.

• 5:05Will Arnett?

  It was just fun and stupid.

• 5:07Jason Bateman?

  God, I laughed. Clean fun, you know.

• 5:09Sean Hayes?

  Jay, did you like my cheesecake last night?

• 5:12Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, cheese, now, I, I would have, I would have liked it a little firmer, Sean, a little.

• 5:18Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it was a little too fluffed.

• 5:19Jason Bateman?

  You know, it was a little, uh, it wasn't as gooey as the last one, so I feel like we're, we're making progress.

• 5:24Sean Hayes?

  I liked, the last one.

• 5:25Jason Bateman?

  Now, I say this as a person who, I can't even boil water, so the fact that you cook anything is incredible. It's very impressive.

• 5:31Sean Hayes?

  But also, I didn't know, Will, either that, I didn't, I've never made whipped cream in my life. I didn't know that you just pour half and half or whatever in a bowl.

• 5:40Jason Bateman?

  And whip it.

• 5:41Sean Hayes?

  And you just start.

• 5:42Will Arnett?

  The special whipped cream.

• 5:43Sean Hayes?

  You just start whipping it. I was, my mind was blown.

• 5:46Will Arnett?

  Do you?

• 5:47Sean Hayes?

  I was like, oh.

• 5:48Will Arnett?

  Do you think it's a good idea that you've now learned how easy it is to make whipped cream?

• 5:52Sean Hayes?

  I think so, I think so, I think you know what I'm doing tonight.

• 5:54Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you missed out on a good cheesecake last night, Will, but then I found out, then Sean told me that the secret ingredient that he does, drive an hour and a half for.

• 6:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Jason Bateman?

  Was a, a, a, a British, uh, chocolate, uh, Cadbury white chocolate bar.

• 6:08Sean Hayes?

  No, not Cadbury, it was another brand, but yeah.

• 6:10Jason Bateman?

  Another brand that we're not going to mention, I guess.

• 6:13Sean Hayes?

  We can, if you want.

• 6:13Jason Bateman?

  Called Milky Bar.

• 6:14Will Arnett?

  Well, we already mentioned Cadbury, so we're kind of committed.

• 6:17Jason Bateman?

  But there's a, there's a, is that, is that a thing? Is that normal that there's a white chocolate candy bar in most cheesecakes?

• 6:25Sean Hayes?

  Well, no, no, I just melted it to make kind of like the creamy part. Part, it was one of many ingredients.

• 6:31Jason Bateman?

  Sorry, listener, if you thought you tuned into Smartless, it's, it's cookless this week.

• 6:36Sean Hayes?

  Bakeless.

• 6:37Jason Bateman?

  Bakeless.

• 6:38Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, um, yeah, no.

• 6:39Jason Bateman?

  Tasteless.

• 6:40Sean Hayes?

  And I, I was so obsessed with getting the ingredients right. I, I drove an hour and a half to get it because they don't sell them in the United States.

• 6:45Jason Bateman?

  And what did he do, Will, when he got there?

• 6:47Will Arnett?

  So you drove to another country?

• 6:48Jason Bateman?

  When he drove an hour and a half away to get this, what did he do while he was there? He's like, huh, well, look, here's a, here's a, a rare, um, uh, hamburger joint that we don't have near us.

• 6:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, Portillo's.

• 6:58Will Arnett?

  Oh, that's why you went to Portillo's.

• 7:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and he put a big burger in his face and, and a shake too, I'll bet.

• 7:06Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I got a shake, a piece of cake, and I got fries and a hot dog.

• 7:09Jason Bateman?

  Shake and a piece of cake?

• 7:10Will Arnett?

  Wait, you got a shake?

• 7:11Jason Bateman?

  For lunch?

• 7:11Will Arnett?

  Piece of cake, fries, and a hot dog.

• 7:13Sean Hayes?

  And then, and then two beef sandwiches.

• 7:16Will Arnett?

  And what's that?

• 7:17Sean Hayes?

  Two beef sandwiches, one for Scotty.

• 7:18Will Arnett?

  And this is when you were on the mission to pick up-

• 7:20Jason Bateman?

  Were you driving a school bus?

• 7:21Will Arnett?

  White chocolate.

• 7:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, well, I had, I picked up the white chocolate.

• 7:25Jason Bateman?

  Were you buying for all the kids in the school bus?

• 7:28Sean Hayes?

  No, I never get it, so I bought like a little extra stuff and I put, I put it in the fridge and I'll heat it up later.

• 7:34Will Arnett?

  Good for you.

• 7:35Sean Hayes?

  Thank you. Guys, let's get started.

• 7:39Will Arnett?

  Oh, wow, I thought we had, but.

• 7:41Sean Hayes?

  This is really exciting, guys, today. You're gonna freak out.

• 7:44Jason Bateman?

  Oh, it's your guest.

• 7:45Sean Hayes?

  It's my guest today. I'm so excited. We got my favorite redheaded firecracker here today. She's a self-proclaimed computer nerd, and before becoming one of my all-time favorite full-fledged movie stars, she made people websites for free. In fact, at 14 years old, she performed a PowerPoint presentation titled Project Hollywood in order to convince her parents to let her drop out of high school and move to LA from Arizona to pursue her dreams of becoming an actress. Thankfully, that dream came true, so we could talk to her today. Her name is Emma Stone.

• 8:14Jason Bateman?

  Emma Stone!

• 8:18Sean Hayes?

  And Emma's a little under the weather.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  I'm a little under the weather.

• 8:23Sean Hayes?

  I can't believe you showed up for us.

• 8:24Jason Bateman?

  Did you get into a big pile of bad coke last night, Emma?

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Listen, you know what? You've been there, right?

• 8:30Jason Bateman?

  There's meetings for you. Yeah, listen, we're saving a seat for you.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  I know, thank you.

• 8:34Sean Hayes?

  Are you at home or in a hotel?

• 8:36Speaker 03

  I'm in a hotel.

• 8:37Jason Bateman?

  She's at a rehab.

• 8:40Will Arnett?

  She's live from our first ever sport.

• 8:42Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me. What an opening.

• 8:44Jason Bateman?

  Emma's been up for four days, listener.

• 8:47Will Arnett?

  Emma, I don't think of you as a ginger, I guess, per se, when I think of gingers. But you are.

• 8:53Sean Hayes?

  I'm blonde right now.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I'm not. I'm actually, I'm blond, I have blonde hair right now and I'm, and I'm, I was born blonde. Well, I was born hairless, but then I grew blonde hair.

• 9:03Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Hairless is my podcast name.

• 9:06Will Arnett?

  Sure, give us the full.

• 9:09Jason Bateman?

  Bravo.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  The, yeah, then I dyed it red.

• 9:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you were red for a while there, yes?

• 9:15Speaker 03

  For a long time.

• 9:16Jason Bateman?

  So much so that people thought it was, it was that you were natch red. Red natch.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  But I, but I'm not red natch.

• 9:23Sean Hayes?

  But wasn't it true?

• 9:24Speaker 03

  My mother's red natch.

• 9:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah?

• 9:26Sean Hayes?

  You gotta be careful with that word, natch.

• 9:28Will Arnett?

  I have a son who's a natch ginge.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Oh, we love a natch ginge.

• 9:33Will Arnett?

  Oh, my gosh, do we ever love a natch ginge?

• 9:36Speaker 03

  This has gotten so filthy from the very beginning.

• 9:39Sean Hayes?

  Wait, Emma, didn't you?

• 9:40Jason Bateman?

  Fat natchy ginge?

• 9:44Will Arnett?

  Hey, man?

• 9:46Will Arnett?

  Do you need a second?

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Take a nap.

• 9:50Jason Bateman?

  I've been up for days. So excited you're on the show with us, Emma.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 9:56Sean Hayes?

  But wait, didn't you dye it originally, like, when you moved here and you felt like you weren't getting parts or something? I feel like I read something and then you thought maybe your talent, which you're, you know, seeping talent, that that wasn't good enough.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  And that's what I was telling everyone.

• 10:09Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  And that's what I kept saying. And they went, no, no, no, that hair has got to go.

• 10:15Sean Hayes?

  But that, you thought you had to dye your hair, is that true?

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I was, because I, I moved to LA when I was 15. And so all of the, all of the things that I was auditioning for at that time were kind of, you know, like roles for 15-year-old girls at that time were a lot of girls that were, I guess what I was up for was a lot of very blonde cheerleader-y kind of roles. And I didn't fit those very well. And so I thought if I dyed my hair brown, it would really set me.

• 10:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 10:44Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 10:45Jason Bateman?

  How'd that go?

• 10:47Speaker 03

  You know, it went great, Jason. You got some mascot parts. I didn't, I didn't get any parts after that either. But a couple of years later, I, I auditioned for, um, for Superbad. And, um, and I was at the, the camera test for that. And, uh, Judd Apatow said, well, maybe she could have red hair. Because the other girl in the movie, who's my best friend now, Martha McIsaac, had brown hair. And so, we dyed my hair red and, and the rest was, you know.

• 11:13Jason Bateman?

  But was, did, is Sean's incredible research accurate? Were you really doing websites for people? Like, are you a computer person?

• 11:21Speaker 03

  I was in that, uh, kind of, you know, nineties computer format. I don't know if you guys know, you know, Angel Fire, GeoCities, that kind of world. Where you did very primitive HTML. This is not coding by any me, I would not, if you, in fact, I don't have a computer now. They lent me this computer to be able to do this with you guys.

• 11:43Will Arnett?

  Oh, do you not do?

• 11:44Speaker 03

  I'm like a neo-Luddite now. But back then, I was very into the internet and learning about, you know, building dropdown menus and things like that. I mean, primitive, like 1998.

• 11:56Will Arnett?

  What are you looking for? When you're out there, you're looking, what are you looking for in a dropdown menu?

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Now, see, that's the thing. See, that's the thing.

• 12:04Will Arnett?

  When you want somebody to step.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  And this keeps me up at night.

• 12:07Will Arnett?

  If you want somebody, if somebody's looking to step into a really elite dropdown menu.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  If you're, if you're looking for great dropdown.

• 12:14Will Arnett?

  If you're in the market.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  No, okay. It needs to be clear, clear fonts. We're not using any Comic Sans on my dropdown images. We're, we're hitting Helvetica hard.

• 12:24Jason Bateman?

  You now are completely, um, uh, you don't have a computer at all?

• 12:28Speaker 03

  I don't have a computer at all anymore.

• 12:30Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  I really don't.

• 12:31Jason Bateman?

  What about, what about an iPhone?

• 12:33Speaker 03

  I have an iPhone, but it's a very cracked.

• 12:35Jason Bateman?

  Incredible new iPhone 15.

• 12:37Will Arnett?

  Jeez, oh my god.

• 12:39Speaker 03

  Is this an ad for the iPhone 15?

• 12:40Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, if you want to get rid of your old one.

• 12:42Will Arnett?

  It is now.

• 12:43Jason Bateman?

  We're done with that, cycle's over, thank god. We enjoyed our experience, but oh mama, was there a heavy rotation on that. Sorry about that, America.

• 12:51Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so you do, but you do, do you do email off your phone then?

• 12:55Speaker 03

  I do email on my phone and I, and I, uh, you know, just, just type it with my thumbs.

• 13:00Sean Hayes?

  So no social media, no nothing else?

• 13:02Speaker 03

  No.

• 13:02Sean Hayes?

  I love that.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  No. Now.

• 13:05Jason Bateman?

  That's refreshing.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  Thanks so much.

• 13:06Will Arnett?

  You know, I was thinking yesterday, I said to a friend of ours, I says to him, I says.

• 13:11Jason Bateman?

  You says friend?

• 13:12Will Arnett?

  I says, friend, I says.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 13:14Jason Bateman?

  Yep.

• 13:14Will Arnett?

  I said, we should, imagine, imagine the reset this planet would get if we had no social media for six months.

• 13:24Will Arnett?

  Globally.

• 13:24Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, it'd be pretty wild.

• 13:26Will Arnett?

  The fucking reset would be incredible.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  What do you think would happen?

• 13:29Jason Bateman?

  Well, people would learn how to manage boredom, which I think is a lost talent. I know I try to teach my kids, like, it's okay if you're bored. That's actually another word for relaxation. Like, enjoy it, take a breath. Being bored is okay. Like, not having anything to do at a red light or in an elevator is a good time to kind of like reintroduce yourself to yourself for a minute.

• 13:51Sean Hayes?

  Uh huh, uh huh.

• 13:51Jason Bateman?

  You know?

• 13:52Will Arnett?

  Well, yeah, do you ever do that thing, Emma, like where you look at people, I've been doing a lot lately, I don't know, where I look around and I go, everybody's on their phone, every moment, if there's a, if there's a down moment, and sometimes it's reflexive because people are nervous or, you know, they feel insecure.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:08Jason Bateman?

  But when you, you wake up in the morning, you don't have like a loop that you have to, or that you like to do on a computer?

• 14:15Will Arnett?

  This is good, hang on.

• 14:16Jason Bateman?

  Well, no, but.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  What's your computer loop?

• 14:19Jason Bateman?

  Well, you know, you hit the, you hit the New York Times and your email and your calendar and you kind of get your shit together.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  I just do all that on my phone.

• 14:26Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  So I'm probably actually on my phone more than people that have a computer.

• 14:30Jason Bateman?

  But see, what I'm picturing here is that you've got no, no reason or excuse to get up out of the, out of the pillows.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 14:36Jason Bateman?

  You're still in the feathers, you reach over, you grab your phone.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  I'm just in a pile of feathers.

• 14:41Will Arnett?

  You sleep in a pile of feathers for real?

• 14:43Jason Bateman?

  What an angel, what a real angel.

• 14:45Sean Hayes?

  I'm down with that.

• 14:46Jason Bateman?

  Like, whether you had a nice desktop, you could get out and into the living room and join the world. Get yourself a desktop.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  You're right.

• 14:53Will Arnett?

  This is a great, this is a great opportunity for a new segment I'm calling, JB, Walk Us Through It.

• 15:00Jason Bateman?

  No, you don't want to follow my morning. All right, so Emma, which one of your rad projects are we gonna talk about today?

• 15:05Sean Hayes?

  We're gonna, there's so many, but, okay, so you answer that first.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know.

• 15:09Jason Bateman?

  Which one would you like to talk about?

• 15:11Sean Hayes?

  I want to talk about our childhood, I want to talk about all these good stuff, I want to talk about, it was your birthday last week, happy birthday.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 15:18Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 15:20Jason Bateman?

  Are we allowed to guess the age? Can we guess the age?

• 15:22Speaker 03

  Oh, this might be mean, but sure, go ahead.

• 15:24Jason Bateman?

  No, no, no, no. How about, I'm gonna go with 24. 25. Will?

• 15:33Will Arnett?

  I'm gonna get real.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, be real.

• 15:35Will Arnett?

  I'm not gonna play some-

• 15:35Speaker 03

  Will and I worked together when I was, I think, nineteen.

• 15:39Will Arnett?

  Yes, that's true.

• 15:39Sean Hayes?

  Really?

• 15:40Speaker 03

  That was a long time ago.

• 15:41Will Arnett?

  That is true.

• 15:42Jason Bateman?

  He's gonna win then. So wait, then wait, then Sean, you go next.

• 15:44Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 15:45Sean Hayes?

  I was gonna say late twenties.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  That's very cute, Sean, and sweet.

• 15:49Sean Hayes?

  True, I really don't know.

• 15:50Jason Bateman?

  Are you truly north of thirty?

• 15:51Speaker 03

  I'm north of thirty.

• 15:52Will Arnett?

  Oh, she, she is, uh, she is thirty-seven.

• 15:56Jason Bateman?

  Come on.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Thirty-five. You're, you're the closest by far.

• 16:00Sean Hayes?

  Wow, really?

• 16:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, thirty-five.

• 16:01Jason Bateman?

  So young, that's so young.

• 16:02Will Arnett?

  You don't look thirty-seven. I was just guessing based on what the information.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Okay, well, sure, well, okay.

• 16:07Will Arnett?

  No, no, no. That's true. We did, we did, uh, we did, uh, work, that was a long time ago.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  I know.

• 16:13Jason Bateman?

  What was it? What was the job? Do you remember?

• 16:14Will Arnett?

  It was called-

• 16:15Speaker 03

  The Rocker.

• 16:16Will Arnett?

  The Rocker. You didn't-

• 16:17Speaker 03

  The Rocker.

• 16:18Jason Bateman?

  Wait, The Rocker, I still need to see, and what was the other one I said I needed to see the other day? Um, uh, Hot Rod.

• 16:23Will Arnett?

  All right. Well, let's not go through mine. Emma, go tell everybody who is in The Rocker. Nobody's seen it. Who is in The Rocker? The cast is pretty hilarious.

• 16:30Speaker 03

  It was Rainn Wilson.

• 16:32Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  Uh, Jason Sudeikis.

• 16:35Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  You, Bradley Cooper.

• 16:37Will Arnett?

  Yep.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  Fred Armisen.

• 16:39Will Arnett?

  Yep. You.

• 16:41Jason Bateman?

  I need it. Who directed this?

• 16:44Speaker 03

  A guy named Peter Catanha who directed The Full Monty.

• 16:47Will Arnett?

  Peter Catanha.

• 16:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:48Will Arnett?

  Uh-

• 16:49Speaker 03

  And-

• 16:50Will Arnett?

  John Glazer. John Glazer.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:52Will Arnett?

  The great John Glazer.

• 16:54Jason Bateman?

  Who did Hot Rod? Who directed Hot Rod? Was that, that wasn't Yorma, was it?

• 16:57Will Arnett?

  No, Akiva.

• 16:58Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, gotcha.

• 16:59Will Arnett?

  But, uh, the cast was pretty, uh-

• 17:03Speaker 03

  It was pretty wild. Yeah, we were in Toronto.

• 17:06Will Arnett?

  We were in Toronto.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  And I feel like you weren't there for that long. I was there for a couple of months.

• 17:11Will Arnett?

  I was there for a week, maybe, and, uh-

• 17:13Jason Bateman?

  And what kind of part were you playing, Emma?

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Uh, well, I was playing the bass in a band that was fronted by, it was sort of a school of rock adjacent, would you say, Will?

• 17:23Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, I would.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Kind of story.

• 17:26Jason Bateman?

  Willie, what were you playing?

• 17:28Will Arnett?

  Oh, I played the, uh, lead singer of a, uh, of a hairband. True story.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  You gotta check it out.

• 17:36Will Arnett?

  And Bradley was the guitarist and Fred was the bassist.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 17:40Will Arnett?

  But it was, but it was fun. But yeah, I mean, you have not, I'm trying to think, you just have not stopped working and doing awesome stuff since the moment I became aware of you. You've just been like consistently just doing cool thing after cool thing, great film after great film. It's pretty remarkable. Not a lot of people.

• 18:01Sean Hayes?

  And rare.

• 18:01Jason Bateman?

  Basically saying you haven't done anything as shitty as The Rocker since The Rocker is what Will is saying.

• 18:06Will Arnett?

  I've done way worse movies than The Rocker since The Rocker. Oh my god.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  That's subjective. I think maybe.

• 18:13Will Arnett?

  It is good.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Let's not go too deep through the IMDb or whatever.

• 18:17Sean Hayes?

  I wanted to, I met you once, very briefly. You were so kind years and years ago, blah, blah, blah, you'd never remember. I think it was at SNL. But I was like, oh my god, that time is done. And then, so when I did my research for the, for today, I didn't know that your name was Emily. I want to know, these guy, I know why it's called Emma, but I want you to tell these guys why it's, why you changed it to Emma. And then I also want to know about your dog bakery thing that you worked at, because I have a friend who lives in Arizona, who has a company, it's a, it's a dog poop company. She picks up poop, dog poop for, you just call her and she picks up dog poop. But it was in Scottsdale.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Oh, that's where I'm from.

• 18:51Sean Hayes?

  I know. That's why I was like, oh my god.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  Well, my name was taken.

• 18:54Will Arnett?

  Have you noticed like there's been less dog poop around when you go home?

• 18:58Speaker 03

  You know, now that you mention it.

• 19:00Will Arnett?

  Just trying to gauge how Sean's friends.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  I mean, it used to be absolutely everywhere, just piles of it.

• 19:05Jason Bateman?

  But her gig, her gig is just, she's just a freelance, she just goes around town.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Freelance poop.

• 19:10Jason Bateman?

  And she's looking for just spare poop that's unclaimed and unpicked up.

• 19:14Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's what she does. You call her up if you don't want to pick up your dog poop. It's called poop patrol. Sherry's poop patrol.

• 19:18Jason Bateman?

  Who's compensating her? The city?

• 19:20Sean Hayes?

  Her clients.

• 19:21Will Arnett?

  People who don't want poop on their lawn, man.

• 19:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  Wait, I'm, I'm confused. Wait, so you call her just, so you just let your dogs kind of run free on your own lawn like all week? And then poop patrol comes and picks everything up.

• 19:35Jason Bateman?

  That's right. A gardener comes over, picks up the poop.

• 19:37Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 19:38Jason Bateman?

  Like, instead of blowing the leaves and stuff, there's just a poop.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 19:44Will Arnett?

  Wow. I don't know, 30 jokes in there?

• 19:48Will Arnett?

  I didn't know where to.

• 19:49Sean Hayes?

  Well, that's kind of why I brought it up. It's such a funny job.

• 19:51Jason Bateman?

  You take a tight five and gather them and then come back to us.

• 19:55Sean Hayes?

  But wait, a dog bakery? You worked at a dog bakery when you were a teenager? Okay.

• 19:59Speaker 03

  I worked at a dog bakery when I moved to LA when I was 15, called Three Dog Bakery at the farmer's market.

• 20:06Sean Hayes?

  At the Grove?

• 20:06Speaker 03

  At the Grove.

• 20:07Sean Hayes?

  I used to go there. You worked there?

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Yes. Well, I mean, not for long. For like, maybe six months.

• 20:13Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 20:14Jason Bateman?

  So wait, Shawnee, this was pre-Ricky?

• 20:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, this was years ago. Years and years ago.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  This was when I was 15. It's 20 years ago.

• 20:20Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's when I had my two other dogs. I used to go there to shop for them.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Do you think that we ever ran into each other then?

• 20:27Sean Hayes?

  Probably.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  Maybe.

• 20:29Will Arnett?

  I think word would have gotten out that Will and Grace's Sean Hayes was there.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  I think you're right. I think I would have told everybody.

• 20:36Will Arnett?

  Guaranteed.

• 20:36Jason Bateman?

  You probably should.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  Guaranteed.

• 20:37Sean Hayes?

  Oh, my god.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Okay, so I must not have been working those hours.

• 20:44Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 20:47Sean Hayes?

  Let's talk about the Idaho Effect. It's a feeling you get hiking the Sawtooth Mountains at sunrise, or mountain biking on hero dirt at Silver Mountain Resort, leaving you craving more. It's a feeling where the freedom to roam is real, and it's found in Idaho. Idaho might just be the last authentic place in the West. Once you have this feeling, one that stays with you long after returning home, that's the Idaho Effect. Plan your Idaho vacation at visitidaho.org.

• 21:27Sean Hayes?

  There's something pretty great about waking up and making a really good espresso or cappuccino at home. No coffee shop run required. And this time of year, it's even better. A hot cappuccino on a crisp fall morning, maybe a pumpkin spice latte on the weekend, or even an iced coffee in the afternoon. DeLonge has been doing this for more than 50 years, bringing Italian craftsmanship and that authentic coffee experience home. And if fall has you thinking about upgrading your own coffee routine, now is a great time. I have some friends visiting from out of town. I have my DeLonghi ready to go. They love drinking coffee in the morning and I can't wait for them to experience a DeLonghi Espresso. So whether you're starting your morning with an espresso or leaning into your favorite fall drink, make it at home with DeLonghi.

• 22:12Sean Hayes?

  Bring the Italian coffee experience home. Shop DeLonghi Espresso machines today.

• 22:21Jason Bateman?

  Learning to invest is kind of like learning to drive. Putting your teen's hands on the wheel is the best way for them to learn. With a Fidelity Youth Account, your teen can make their own trades while you supervise as needed. It's the only brokerage account a teen can own independently, and investing 101 lessons are built into the app. Learn more at fidelity.com/youth. Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC, member NYSE, SIPC.

• 23:00Sean Hayes?

  This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Guys, mental health awareness initiatives are really important, like World Mental Health Day. But you shouldn't wait to focus on your mental health until a certain date on the calendar, right? So for some people, therapy can be one way to support their mental well-being. Remember, therapy isn't just for the big life choices either. It can be a place to talk about relationship problems, work issues, or simply the sense that something feels off. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms, having served millions of people globally. BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience. Plus, BetterHelp makes it easy to fit therapy into your routine

• 23:45Sean Hayes?

  with flexible ways to connect that work for different schedules and lifestyles. Your mental health doesn't need a special occasion or anyone else's permission to matter. BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist who gets you, so you can make space for what matters to you. Visit betterhelp.com/smartless to explore your payment options. That's betterh-e-l-p.com/smartless.

• 24:13Jason Bateman?

  All right, back to the show.

• 24:16Sean Hayes?

  Tell these guys why you changed your name from Emily to Emma.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  Well, it was, originally, my name was taken at Screen Actors Guild.

• 24:23Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  When I got my card when I was 16.

• 24:27Jason Bateman?

  So it was an Emily Stone.

• 24:28Sean Hayes?

  Wow.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  And so I originally changed it to Riley, because when you tell a 16-year-old that they can just change their name.

• 24:34Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 24:35Speaker 03

  You pick a cool name. And so I was like, I'll be Riley.

• 24:37Jason Bateman?

  Riley's number one. You could have changed it to Emma, middle name Lee.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Emma Lee Stone.

• 24:44Jason Bateman?

  Right?

• 24:45Sean Hayes?

  Oh.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  I don't know if I could pull off being a three-namer.

• 24:49Will Arnett?

  Fuck, is there any way you could call her 20 years ago?

• 24:51Speaker 03

  Could you call me 20 years ago really quick?

• 24:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, real quick.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Just one second, we'll pause.

• 24:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  And then we'll just-

• 24:57Will Arnett?

  That is, that is a real thing, though, right? That is a real thing, though, all people who change their names because of sex, because there's already somebody-

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:07Will Arnett?

  Michael J. Fox, I think, was, because there was already a Michael Fox, right?

• 25:11Speaker 03

  One of the great ones is, isn't, I feel like Michael Keaton is Michael Douglas.

• 25:17Jason Bateman?

  Oh, wow.

• 25:18Sean Hayes?

  Oh, really?

• 25:19Will Arnett?

  Oh, yes.

• 25:19Speaker 03

  And he changed his last name to Keaton because Michael Douglas was Michael Douglas.

• 25:22Sean Hayes?

  I just learned, I just learned Albert Brooks's real name is Albert Einstein. I did not know that.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:28Sean Hayes?

  Swear to God. Swear to God.

• 25:30Speaker 03

  That's unbelievable.

• 25:31Will Arnett?

  His brother was Bob Einstein, you know, Super Dave Osborne. That was Bob Einstein, and that's Albert's brother.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 25:36Sean Hayes?

  But anyway, Emily to Emma.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Emily to Emma.

• 25:39Sean Hayes?

  Because-

• 25:39Speaker 03

  Well, because you're trying to get to the Spice Girls reference.

• 25:42Will Arnett?

  You should have changed your name to Albert Einstein, because that was free.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  That's true. That one's free now.

• 25:48Jason Bateman?

  Not being used anymore.

• 25:50Will Arnett?

  Wait, so you, so you went to Emma?

• 25:52Speaker 03

  I went to Emma because, growing up, I was an enorm, I mean, still to this day I am, but enormous, an enormous, sorry, I'm, I'm slurring. From all of the, I've been up for four days.

• 26:03Jason Bateman?

  You need to take a nap.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I gotta take a nap. I was a huge Spice Girls fan. And there was Emma, who was Baby Spice.

• 26:10Will Arnett?

  No way.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Crazy about her.

• 26:11Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  I had the opportunity, when I was in, you know, like, second or third grade, I asked the teacher to call me Emma, but they didn't, it didn't ever stick. But then I had the chance to do it permanently, and here I am.

• 26:23Sean Hayes?

  I love that.

• 26:24Jason Bateman?

  Have you met the Spice Girls since?

• 26:25Speaker 03

  I have.

• 26:27Will Arnett?

  Does she know that?

• 26:27Speaker 03

  I've met the Spice Girls now. I think, I think she does, because she gave me a really special T-shirt that she had signed. It was like from one Emma to another kind of thing. It was pretty cool.

• 26:36Jason Bateman?

  Did you keep it together?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  I did not keep it together at all, at all. But I will say, the night before I met them, we were going to their concert in England when they, when they, you know, had done, they did like a reunion tour a couple of years ago in 2019. And the night before, I went to a, um, a party at somebody's house. And the magician David Blaine was there.

• 27:00Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  And he did a, uh, just an astounding trick. You know, he did this, this card trick and then it was this whole thing and it was an illusion, an illusion if you will. And he, and it was like, and he pulled up his phone and the card was reflected in a picture on someone's foot, you know, in the, in the glasses of someone on a boat and it was this crazy thing and I got so excited. Now, this is a tale as old as time because I'm about to tell you a story from yesterday as well. I got so excited that I ran. I was like, I can't stand it because I'm such a big fan of magic and I couldn't stand it. And I ran and I was wearing these, these heeled boots. And I slipped on the wood floor. This is the night before the Spice Girls concert.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  Slipped, my arm went back out behind me and I broke my fucking shoulder.

• 27:50Jason Bateman?

  When was this?

• 27:51Speaker 03

  2019, the summer of 2019. So the next day I'm supposed to go to the Spice Girls concert. And I was like, there is no way on earth I'm missing this. So we got in England, one of these, you know, things from Boots, the drugstore, this little sling. And I hadn't even gotten an X-ray yet and I went and I was in so much pain that actually meeting the Spice Girls under those circumstances was probably better. So I couldn't do that in front of them instead.

• 28:17Will Arnett?

  And your excitement was so tempered by the pain you were in.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  It was so tempered by the pain that I was like, it's amazing to meet you guys. Oh my God. Like it was so brutal. It was broken in two places. And then yesterday. I, uh, I have bone density issues, that's clear. Because I broke my toe yesterday.

• 28:32Will Arnett?

  No.

• 28:32Jason Bateman?

  Kicking something?

• 28:33Speaker 03

  I did.

• 28:34Sean Hayes?

  Doing what?

• 28:34Will Arnett?

  On what?

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Getting out of the shower.

• 28:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 28:37Will Arnett?

  Well, you shouldn't be lying down in the shower. What do you mean getting out of?

• 28:41Speaker 03

  I know.

• 28:43Jason Bateman?

  You accidentally, you stubbed it on something?

• 28:44Speaker 03

  I slammed it into something and now it's completely black and blue and like all messed up. And so I've been icing it all day.

• 28:50Sean Hayes?

  And you're sick and you showed up for us today. God bless you.

• 28:53Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, how did you not cancel?

• 28:54Speaker 03

  It's a dream. This is incredible. Are you kidding? I'm sitting on a computer with headphones. This is lovely.

• 28:59Jason Bateman?

  Half of one of those excuses would have made me cancel this thing.

• 29:02Will Arnett?

  God, I was just thinking.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  No, I was so excited for this.

• 29:05Will Arnett?

  I would give anything for improved bone density.

• 29:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 29:09Will Arnett?

  Sorry, just sidebar. Sidebar.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  We need to take, um, what is it? Boneva or something?

• 29:16Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. Boneva.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  There's some pill to help our bone density. But I've broken seven bones. Before I was 30, I broke seven bones.

• 29:23Jason Bateman?

  Emma.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  Isn't that crazy?

• 29:25Jason Bateman?

  Well, so then you seriously looked into this? You seriously do have bone density issues?

• 29:29Speaker 03

  There's an endocrinologist was like, we gotta talk about this. Like something's up with you.

• 29:35Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 29:35Jason Bateman?

  And? Did he come up with anything?

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Just that I need to take a lot of vitamin D and calcium and do apparently weight bearing exercises. Like heavy lifting is what creates more bone density.

• 29:48Jason Bateman?

  Well, you could just drink milk and eat, uh, like dumplings from Chin Chin like Sean.

• 29:52Sean Hayes?

  Jesus.

• 29:53Jason Bateman?

  He has a glass of milk four times a day?

• 29:55Sean Hayes?

  No, I have a glass of milk with dinner every night.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  No, you don't.

• 29:59Sean Hayes?

  I really do.

• 29:59Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  You're joking.

• 30:00Sean Hayes?

  Why not? It's good for you.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 30:04Sean Hayes?

  It's good for you. It's vitamin D.

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Wait, you sit at dinner drinking a glass of milk?

• 30:07Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 30:07Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, whatever it is.

• 30:08Jason Bateman?

  I saw it a week ago. I just, I had to stop.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Are you just doing it to be adorable or you really enjoy it?

• 30:14Jason Bateman?

  No, this is what he does.

• 30:16Sean Hayes?

  No, I, I, you know why.

• 30:18Will Arnett?

  You know why? He lives like he's in the 50s. It's incredible.

• 30:22Jason Bateman?

  12 year old in the 50s.

• 30:22Sean Hayes?

  Because water's too boring and soda has too much sugar, so I just drink milk.

• 30:26Jason Bateman?

  Well, you know, they have zero sugar soda now.

• 30:30Sean Hayes?

  Not into it. So, listen, uh, I want to sit, by the way, since we're on medical stuff.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  I wish this was just a gallon of milk that I was sitting down.

• 30:37Will Arnett?

  It'll be so good.

• 30:39Sean Hayes?

  Wait, but is it true? Because you have one of those cool, like million, billion dollar voices too. Is it true that you, first of all, didn't know you had asthma until you had an asthma attack while filming Easy A, which I read? And the other thing is, did you really have a condition? When you were a baby, because you cried too much.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Colicky.

• 30:58Sean Hayes?

  And it made your voice. Is that true?

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:00Will Arnett?

  Because you were colicky, that gave you a raspy voice?

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Like extremely colicky for five months.

• 31:05Sean Hayes?

  What's colicky?

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Can you imagine? Now, having a kid, I cannot imagine having a colicky baby to that extent. Five, five months.

• 31:12Sean Hayes?

  What does that mean, colicky?

• 31:13Speaker 03

  Colic is apparently a condition where your stomach is killing you. Like, you're in a lot of pain. It's like, everything I can talk about is just my medical trauma.

• 31:24Sean Hayes?

  No, I know. It's fascinating.

• 31:25Jason Bateman?

  But here's what I think it is. It is the intestines, or part of the GI tract, that is still developing and unkinking itself. And there is a kink in the hose that is not, it still needs to grow to release itself. And it takes a couple of weeks, and the babies are miserable.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Miserable. So it was like, if I was awake, I was screaming myself hoarse every day. And I think it was very, very traumatizing for my parents.

• 31:54Sean Hayes?

  I see.

• 31:54Will Arnett?

  You know what's good for bone density is those, the astronauts. You know that thing, the power plate thing that vibrates? That's supposed to be good for bone density.

• 32:02Jason Bateman?

  Oh, thanks, Will.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Isn't that kind of a 50s thing, too?

• 32:04Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 32:05Sean Hayes?

  A little belt around you that shakes?

• 32:06Will Arnett?

  I read it once over a glass of milk. I was trying to...

• 32:10Sean Hayes?

  I want to know, let's get to the career stuff, because it's really interesting to me.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Okay, great.

• 32:13Will Arnett?

  Wait, how old's your, no, hang on. How old's your baby? Let's just do a quick, how old's your baby?

• 32:17Speaker 03

  Two and a half.

• 32:18Sean Hayes?

  Aww, sweet.

• 32:19Jason Bateman?

  Boy, girl?

• 32:20Speaker 03

  Girl.

• 32:21Sean Hayes?

  Aww, sweet.

• 32:23Will Arnett?

  I didn't know that. That's so fantastic. Congratulations.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 32:27Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 32:28Sean Hayes?

  With your husband, who you met at SNL, did you meet him at SNL?

• 32:31Jason Bateman?

  Truly?

• 32:31Sean Hayes?

  Dave McCary?

• 32:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:32Jason Bateman?

  And is he, what does he do with SNL?

• 32:35Speaker 03

  He was a writer-director there for about five years.

• 32:38Jason Bateman?

  Oh, nice.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Doing digital shorts.

• 32:40Sean Hayes?

  And you met him there?

• 32:41Speaker 03

  I met him there, yeah. But we had a bunch of mutual friends, so, yeah.

• 32:45Sean Hayes?

  So great. I love that.

• 32:46Jason Bateman?

  I feel like I was there that week, too, although you've probably hosted a few times. I remember, I remember being there once when you were hosting, and I was just like, oh, shit.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Guys, wait, hold on. I'm gonna host on December 2nd. I get to get my Five Timers jacket.

• 32:59Sean Hayes?

  No way. That's great.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  I'm so excited. I can't even stand it. I'm like, I'm freaking out.

• 33:04Jason Bateman?

  You're so good at it.

• 33:05Sean Hayes?

  That's really, really cool. Wait, so, Emma, you and Dave married in the pandemic? And was that just because it was planned that way, and you just kept it? Or you're like, you know what, let's just do this now?

• 33:15Will Arnett?

  You were waiting for a pandemic, weren't you? Didn't you guys say you wanted to get married, but let's wait for a pandemic to hit? I read that somewhere.

• 33:21Jason Bateman?

  Trim the fat a little bit on the invite list?

• 33:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  You know.

• 33:25Jason Bateman?

  Smart.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  The week that I got married, I, I did open a refrigerator and the handle broke off and I got a black eye.

• 33:32Sean Hayes?

  Oh my god. Oh my god.

• 33:34Jason Bateman?

  You need a helmet.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  And that's where it stops. You know, I do need a helmet. I need a helmet and extensive therapy.

• 33:39Will Arnett?

  You got this new show with Nathan Fielder. I want to skip ahead. I know she's your guest.

• 33:43Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:44Will Arnett?

  But that, that looks really.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  I know she's your guest, but I'll take this one.

• 33:49Will Arnett?

  But I'm gonna say, it looks really fun. First of all, he's great and not just because he's Canadian. He's super funny. You're super funny. And when I first saw the ad for it, I was like, these motherfuckers. And then they got one of those Safeties in there.

• 34:02Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, they sure did. Put a wig on him. Took the boom out of his hand and said, go.

• 34:06Will Arnett?

  This is like a fucking, this is like a fucking talent explosion happening in one thing. I'm so goddamn excited for this thing. I haven't seen.

• 34:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, me too.

• 34:14Will Arnett?

  I'm so excited for this.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  It's a wild ride, that one.

• 34:18Will Arnett?

  Tell us, how did that come to you, to your orbit?

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Nate, so Nathan and I have known each other through, through Dave and, and Dave's best friend Kyle Mooney have been.

• 34:29Jason Bateman?

  I love Kyle Mooney.

• 34:30Will Arnett?

  Huge.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  And they've been best friends since they were nine years old. So.

• 34:33Sean Hayes?

  Oh, wow.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, and so Nathan knew Dave and Kyle well, and, and I got to know Nathan for a couple of years. And then, I think in 2020, 2019, maybe, Nathan called me and said that he and Benny Safdie had come up with this kind of loose idea for a show based on something that Nathan had really experienced where someone had said that they cursed him. In a moment. And he was like, this probably isn't true, but he found that it haunted him.

• 35:09Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  And they started coming up with this sort of premise of what, what would happen if you're kind of going about your life and they had this idea for this couple who is trying to create their own HGTV show. But early on.

• 35:22Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  The husband, a little girl says, I, I curse you. And if that hangs over the, the premise of this whole show. And how that evolves and kind of makes them go crazy. Um, whether it's, you know, real or not. And it just sort of spiraled out from there and became this, this very intense.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  It's really, it is a comedy, but it's kind of not a comedy.

• 35:50Jason Bateman?

  Kind of dark.

• 35:51Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 35:51Speaker 03

  It's very, uh, yeah, there's a, there's a lot going on there. So it was, no, it was a blast. And we were, we were in, um, in New Mexico for like half of last year, um, shooting that and.

• 36:02Sean Hayes?

  And say the title again.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  The Curse.

• 36:04Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, The Curse. I see posters for it everywhere.

• 36:06Will Arnett?

  And say the title one more time.

• 36:08Sean Hayes?

  And just for the third time, just.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  Um, so, um, The Curse.

• 36:12Sean Hayes?

  I want to talk about, I want to talk about Poor Things too, which is a movie that you have.

• 36:17Jason Bateman?

  The brilliant Yorgos Lanthimos?

• 36:19Will Arnett?

  I'm gonna go see it this week.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  You are?

• 36:21Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 36:22Sean Hayes?

  I can't wait.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Where are you gonna see it?

• 36:23Will Arnett?

  I'm seeing it, uh.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  At one of the screening, cause I'm going, I'm gonna be at those.

• 36:28Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  I'll see you there.

• 36:30Will Arnett?

  I just got a text for it, yeah.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Oh, great. Was it me texting you to come to the screening?

• 36:34Will Arnett?

  Well, do you go by Emma Stone?

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 36:37Will Arnett?

  Oh shit, it is you, yeah.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Interesting, yeah.

• 36:40Jason Bateman?

  Was, this is the second project with Yorgos? Yes?

• 36:44Speaker 03

  It was technically the third because we made a short film, um, at the beginning of 2020. And then, so, but it was, it was, yes, it was the second full length one.

• 36:54Jason Bateman?

  So brilliant.

• 36:55Sean Hayes?

  Amazing.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  We made another one in the meantime. We made another one in New Orleans last year.

• 36:59Jason Bateman?

  No, really?

• 37:00Will Arnett?

  Wait, yeah, with, with, uh, with Willem.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  With Willem, yeah, Willem's in Poor Things.

• 37:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  So we've done two together.

• 37:06Sean Hayes?

  And so for my, for my sister Tracy, um, Yorgos did The Favorite, The Lobster, just a bunch of great movies.

• 37:12Jason Bateman?

  How to Kill a Sacred Deer?

• 37:13Sean Hayes?

  Incredible.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  Dog Tooth, which is.

• 37:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 37:15Sean Hayes?

  So Poor Things, so, so did you develop it? Did you find it? Like, did you just get an offer? Like, how did that come to you?

• 37:20Speaker 03

  So, so, uh, Yorgos and I did The Favorite, uh, in 2017 and right as we were wrapping up The Favorite, he told me about this book that he and Tony McNamara, who was the writer of The Favorite, had, had optioned and they were working on adapting. And he just told me the premise of it and I was like, I, I beg of you, I have to do this with you.

• 37:44Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  And so for the next few years, we, uh, worked on things and started kind of putting it all together and, um.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  And he asked me to be a producer on it, which was amazing. And so we kind of like assembled this team and then, uh, at the end of 2021. Why do I keep saying all the dates?

• 38:03Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 38:04Jason Bateman?

  Cause you're like Will, you have incredible recall on dates.

• 38:07Will Arnett?

  I have, I do everything by date.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  So, really?

• 38:09Will Arnett?

  Month and year, yeah, yeah.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  Me too. Everybody's birthdays? Do you forget a birthday? Can you forget a birthday once a

• 38:15Will Arnett?

  I can forget a birthday, but if you say like, hey, like, I can say like, oh yeah, like it was that time of year, that year.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  It was this month of that year.

• 38:21Jason Bateman?

  March of 2023, he knows the difference between April of 21 and March of 24.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Maybe I function similarly.

• 38:30Will Arnett?

  Yeah, but, but anyway, so.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Anyway, so we made it, we made it two years ago and, um, and yeah, it's just, it's, it's, it's probably my favorite, my favorite thing I've ever gotten to do.

• 38:42Sean Hayes?

  Really?

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:43Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so with, you, you, you work all the time constantly, it seems like, which is great, and everybody can't get enough of you. And so when you go from, when you go from set to set, other than your child, do you have like something, how do you set it up so it's home? Or how do you set it up so it feels like, all right, I need to have at least this, this and this in my trailer, or this, this and this with me?

• 39:03Jason Bateman?

  What a fun question.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  I'll tell you, I'll tell you three things that always keep me company, no matter where I am.

• 39:09Jason Bateman?

  Coke?

• 39:09Speaker 03

  App.

• 39:11Jason Bateman?

  Sorry?

• 39:13Jason Bateman?

  Big plate of Coke?

• 39:16Sean Hayes?

  She gotta get through it.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  I'm obsessed with the idea that I'm on Coke just because I'm on cold medicine. Jason.

• 39:23Jason Bateman?

  Go with it.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  You know, just suffering through this on cold medicine.

• 39:26Will Arnett?

  She's here on, on, she's on a sick day.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  I have a broken.

• 39:30Jason Bateman?

  Can't believe it.

• 39:31Will Arnett?

  Broken foot?

• 39:33Speaker 03

  I'm near death.

• 39:35Jason Bateman?

  I know, I can't believe it.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Um, no, I, uh, apples and peanut butter.

• 39:39Sean Hayes?

  Really? Really?

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Every day for a snack, I have apples and peanut butter. Every day I have a Starbucks coffee. Doesn't matter where I am, could be in the greatest coffee places in the world, Europe, wherever. Doesn't matter, find a Starbucks.

• 39:52Jason Bateman?

  And what's your choice?

• 39:53Speaker 03

  A coconut misto.

• 39:56Jason Bateman?

  Coconut misto.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  So embarrassing to say.

• 39:58Sean Hayes?

  What is it, a coconut what?

• 40:00Speaker 03

  Listen, they make you say misto, but you know the Starbucks lingo where they make you say these things. It's a venti coffee, just a regular filter coffee, drip coffee, a large, with steamed coconut milk.

• 40:14Sean Hayes?

  Okay.

• 40:14Jason Bateman?

  And that's the misto part?

• 40:16Speaker 03

  That's the misto, that's what makes it a misto.

• 40:19Jason Bateman?

  So that's not a latte?

• 40:20Speaker 03

  It's not a latte, no, because it's not espresso.

• 40:22Will Arnett?

  So you have, by the way, I have peanut butter and rice cakes, always.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  Every day?

• 40:27Will Arnett?

  Well, that's my treat, that's my snack.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  That's your treat?

• 40:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah, that's my snack, if I like it in the mid after.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Peanut butter and rice cake?

• 40:34Will Arnett?

  Oh, I love that.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  That's a healthy treat. It's not like you go and get all the Twizzlers from the.

• 40:38Jason Bateman?

  Why do you guys go with just the apple or just the rice cake? Why do you need to spread all the fatty nut butter?

• 40:45Speaker 03

  Peanut butter gives you a little head of protein and a big head of joy.

• 40:49Jason Bateman?

  A lot of sugar.

• 40:49Sean Hayes?

  I like the peanut butter with the apples.

• 40:51Speaker 03

  It's delicious.

• 40:52Will Arnett?

  Sean, explain for, not for Tracy, but for Jason, what joy is.

• 40:55Jason Bateman?

  It's another kind of peanut butter.

• 40:57Sean Hayes?

  Not for Tracy.

• 40:58Jason Bateman?

  Or no, that's jiffy.

• 41:00Sean Hayes?

  Emma, like, when I, you were so fucking phenomenal in The Favorite, and you won for The Favorite, right?

• 41:06Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:06Jason Bateman?

  Yes, she did, no.

• 41:08Sean Hayes?

  Nominated?

• 41:09Speaker 03

  Yes, she did, no.

• 41:10Jason Bateman?

  She was fantastic, though.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 41:13Jason Bateman?

  Nominated.

• 41:14Sean Hayes?

  Wait, but what was, is that?

• 41:15Jason Bateman?

  You won a nomination, is what I meant.

• 41:18Sean Hayes?

  Did you really not win? I can't remember. You did win.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Not for The Favorite, no.

• 41:22Sean Hayes?

  Which one did you win for?

• 41:24Speaker 03

  La La Land.

• 41:24Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's right, La La Land. So I fucking love that movie, too. God, you're so fucking good.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  That's a truly embarrassing thing to have to sit here and say.

• 41:32Jason Bateman?

  No.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  Not for, not for that one.

• 41:34Sean Hayes?

  No, I want to know, I asked, I wanted to know.

• 41:37Jason Bateman?

  For everything.

• 41:38Sean Hayes?

  But wait, The Favorite was, you were so fucking good in that.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  My mom says I'm always a winner.

• 41:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and always her favorite, huh?

• 41:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly, exactly.

• 41:46Sean Hayes?

  But was that, because when I've seen that movie, when I watched that movie, I was like, oh my God, this just looks like a colossal amount of work, that movie, The Favorite, like. It just looks so grand and so massive.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  That's just because a lot of it was in that fisheye lens. That's what makes it look so grand.

• 42:03Sean Hayes?

  All right.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? That's a little trick of the trade.

• 42:07Jason Bateman?

  That was in England, yes.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  That was in England.

• 42:10Jason Bateman?

  And La La Land was here in Los Angeles.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  It was in LA, yes.

• 42:13Will Arnett?

  Favorite, Favorite is such a good movie. I just wanted to, apart from the work that, you know, these guys are so tired, but I, I, that movie was so good, Emma Stone.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 42:26Jason Bateman?

  We'll be right back.

• 42:28Sean Hayes?

  Let's talk about the Idaho Effect. It's a feeling you get hiking the Sawtooth Mountains at sunrise, or mountain biking on hero dirt at Silver Mountain Resort, leaving you craving more. It's a feeling where the freedom to roam is real, and it's found in Idaho. Idaho might just be the last authentic place in the West. Once you have this feeling, one that stays with you long after returning home, that's the Idaho Effect. Plan your Idaho vacation at visitidaho.org.

• 43:07Sean Hayes?

  This episode is sponsored by US Bank Smartly Checking and Savings. Smart is sponsored by Smartly? Well, that's just smart, but it's not just a fun name. You earn rewards, access fee waivers, and get better savings rates from day one. That means less time overthinking your money and more time thinking about other things. And who doesn't need that? Sign up for US Bank Smartly Checking and Savings today at usbank.com/smartly. Member FDIC, copyright 2026 US Bank.

• 43:42Sean Hayes?

  Start the day strong with Quaker Protein Products. Quaker makes it easy and delicious to get a good source of protein. No matter what the day has in store, Quaker Protein Products give you a variety of ways to reach your protein goals. Oatmeal, granola bars, and rice snacks in flavors you already love, like maple and brown sugar and blueberries and cream. Quaker Protein helps fuel you to start whatever's next. Get your protein with Quaker, available at a store near you.

• 44:18Jason Bateman?

  And now, back to the show.

• 44:21Sean Hayes?

  Was that one of the hardest things you've ever done? What's the hardest one you've ever done?

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 44:27Sean Hayes?

  Physically, emotionally, both, whatever?

• 44:30Jason Bateman?

  Long Island had a bunch of stuff in it.

• 44:31Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah. You gotta learn to dance.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  The hardest thing I've ever done was on stage.

• 44:36Jason Bateman?

  Yeah?

• 44:37Speaker 03

  By far.

• 44:38Jason Bateman?

  Sean loves stage stories.

• 44:39Sean Hayes?

  I do, you know I do.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  Well, I've only done one professional stage show.

• 44:44Sean Hayes?

  What went wrong?

• 44:45Speaker 03

  Like 10 years ago. Oh, you want a what went wrong story?

• 44:47Sean Hayes?

  I want like a bad theater story.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  Well, but here's the, I did, I did cabaret. And I only did it for three and a half months, which is so short by, by stage terms.

• 44:57Sean Hayes?

  But enough.

• 44:58Speaker 03

  I thought, I truly going into it, I was so beyond excited. It was, it was probably the greatest experience of my life for the same reason. And I was like, oh, you just do it at night. And then you do two shows a day on Wednesday, and you do two on Saturday. And it's just, and then you're at home, and you're just, it, it, your entire life is eaten. And it is so hard, you have to live like a monk. Like, there's nothing, or at least I did, because I lose my voice and I had to sing. And it was like, I've, I've never experienced something that, that physically taxing as an actor.

• 45:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  It was, it was unreal.

• 45:34Sean Hayes?

  I'm sure.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  So that was the hardest.

• 45:35Sean Hayes?

  And when you, when you, but did you, did anything go massively wrong? Do you have like a, any kind of night where you're just like, oh shit, my voice, nothing came out when I sang?

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, yeah, I mean, I had to take steroids multiple times.

• 45:46Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, same.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  No, yeah, no heart attacks in the house, thank God. But that's, there are a lot of those stories. But that, no, I, I, just to add to my, you know, things that are wrong with me.

• 45:56Jason Bateman?

  You broke a bone.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  I'm extremely blind, blind, blind as a bat.

• 46:00Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  And I wear contacts for that. And, uh...

• 46:07Speaker 03

  They both popped out of my eyes while I was singing "Maybe This Time."

• 46:12Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 46:12Speaker 03

  And it cuts to-

• 46:13Jason Bateman?

  You must have really been reaching for a note.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  It cuts, I was really, yeah, I'm always reaching for those notes. I'm not a singer per se. And the, and the lights went dark and you have to, you know, go off in the, in the blackout. And I couldn't see a-

• 46:28Sean Hayes?

  Oh my god.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  -thing in the world. And I just went and like slammed it. It was terr- that getting offstage, not being able to see at all was-

• 46:35Sean Hayes?

  That's terrifying.

• 46:35Jason Bateman?

  And then couldn't find the contacts, right? They were on the floor in the-

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Couldn't find it, but I, no, I always bring spares. I have to travel with spares.

• 46:42Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  It's very important.

• 46:43Jason Bateman?

  It'd be great if you did the rest of the play with glasses on, would have been great.

• 46:45Will Arnett?

  Came back out with glasses.

• 46:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, all of it has, it gives me so much anxiety. But when, when you-

• 46:52Speaker 03

  I always had a fear, Sean, of getting hiccups on stage.

• 46:54Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I had that too.

• 46:55Jason Bateman?

  Oh my god, that's a great fear.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Have you had hiccups on stage?

• 46:57Sean Hayes?

  No, but I had one thing where I had like allergies and I could feel the postnasal drip in the back.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 47:02Sean Hayes?

  And it was right before I had to sing, "What do you get when you fall in love?" You know what Chris is trying to-

• 47:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:06Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 47:07Sean Hayes?

  And I was literally like, "What?"

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 47:13Sean Hayes?

  Like forever.

• 47:14Speaker 03

  Oh god.

• 47:15Sean Hayes?

  It was the worst. Panic, tears, because I couldn't cough, but I had to act like I was everything. It's the, I have a million-

• 47:20Will Arnett?

  Okay, I'm about to, I'm about to tell you guys something that I think that you're not gonna enjoy. I know Jason's not gonna enjoy this.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 47:28Will Arnett?

  What do you do when you get, I'm gonna ask you guys, I'm gonna go around to the panel here. What do you guys do when you get the hiccups? Do you have like a surefire-

• 47:34Speaker 03

  I do.

• 47:35Jason Bateman?

  I don't have one.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  I have a cure.

• 47:37Will Arnett?

  Emma, go first.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  I have a cure, but people tell me that I'm wrong, but if, not if you do it right, okay? Here's the thing.

• 47:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, you don't scream at people, do you?

• 47:44Speaker 03

  This is the solve. Pull your arm up above your head. Just take one arm. Put it up above your head. Well, just because I'm, I'm right-handed, so if you're, if you're left-handed, you could do it-

• 47:53Jason Bateman?

  Drivers don't do this.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  You take your, don't do it if you're driving. Now, take water and you're gonna, and I'm talking like tiny steps. You go swallow, swallow, swallow, swallow, as you lower your arm slowly.

• 48:05Sean Hayes?

  Well, nothing's gonna happen, cuz none of, look at all of us doing it like idiots.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  None of us are hiccups, but we're all doing it.

• 48:09Will Arnett?

  Well, we're just practicing.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Listeners, we're all doing it.

• 48:12Will Arnett?

  We're practicing.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  I'm telling you, it is a hundred percent effective, if you do it correctly.

• 48:17Will Arnett?

  Really?

• 48:18Sean Hayes?

  I feel amazing.

• 48:18Will Arnett?

  What do you guys do, Sean or Jay?

• 48:20Sean Hayes?

  I, I, I, nothing. I, I, um. I wish I had something. I take a deep breath.

• 48:25Speaker 03

  Try this.

• 48:26Sean Hayes?

  And, um, and I kind of let it, feel it kind of go away, and then I take water while I'm holding my breath. It seems to work.

• 48:32Will Arnett?

  I've never told anybody, I've never told anybody this. This is, this is absolutely true, and I can't believe I'm telling it.

• 48:38Sean Hayes?

  Uh-uh.

• 48:39Will Arnett?

  Already.

• 48:41Will Arnett?

  Anytime I get the hiccups, uh, and I remember one time vividly, years ago, our buddy Edgar Wright, we did this thing, um, called Don't, was like a, it was like a fake movie trailer between, uh, there was a good double bill, like a Robert Rodriguez film or whatever, and he made this fake trailer, and I did the voice, or anyway, I remember going to record the trailer voice, cuz I do, "Don't even breathe, don't even blah blah blah." I did this whole thing, right? It was in the West Village at this recording place. And doing the thing, and I'd had a soda, I think, and I got the hiccups, cuz I was taking in so much air. And I was like, "What the fuck?" This is where I learned it. And I was like, "Uh, just give me a second, I just gotta," cuz I'm like hiccuping on, you know, trying to record. And I go into the bathroom.

• 49:24Sean Hayes?

  Uh-oh.

• 49:26Will Arnett?

  And I stick my finger down my throat, and I make myself, "Ugh," gag, and throw up a little bit.

• 49:32Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 49:32Will Arnett?

  Gone.

• 49:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, gone. I get it.

• 49:34Will Arnett?

  And I came back out and I finished, and that's what I do every time when I get the hiccups now, I go, "Excuse me."

• 49:38Sean Hayes?

  I get it.

• 49:39Speaker 03

  That is disgusting.

• 49:40Sean Hayes?

  Were you just gambling that that would work?

• 49:41Speaker 03

  There's a better way, Will.

• 49:43Will Arnett?

  I don't know. It works.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  Do you, do you fully throw up, or do you just gag?

• 49:48Will Arnett?

  Sometimes.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  Ew!

• 49:49Will Arnett?

  Well, it depends on where I'm at, you know what I mean?

• 49:51Speaker 03

  You hate hiccups that much that you'll just make yourself puke?

• 49:55Will Arnett?

  I hate hiccups, I will make myself puke.

• 49:57Sean Hayes?

  But this was, were you just gambling that this would work, or was it something that you kind of read about?

• 50:00Will Arnett?

  I was just gambling. I had no idea, and I just did it.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  Wow, that is...

• 50:03Sean Hayes?

  Huh. I did not know this. You have a tattoo on your arm, or your wrist, or somewhere?

• 50:07Speaker 03

  My wrist.

• 50:08Sean Hayes?

  I wanna see.

• 50:08Speaker 03

  Very, a very, very, very poorly done tattoo. Look at this. Now, this was supposed to be, I just want you to understand. This was based off of a drawing that was drawn with a pencil, okay?

• 50:22Sean Hayes?

  It looks like bird feet.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Does that look like a pencil?

• 50:25Will Arnett?

  Is it a cactus?

• 50:26Speaker 03

  It's bird feet and it bleeds out more and more every single year. I got it 13 years ago. And it just keeps spreading. In 20 years, this is just gonna be.

• 50:38Jason Bateman?

  What kind of half-assed tattoo artist?

• 50:40Will Arnett?

  Were you in a French prison or something?

• 50:42Speaker 03

  I went into just kind of a random tattoo place on 14th Street and I was ju- yes.

• 50:49Jason Bateman?

  Why didn't you consult with the sleeveless one? He could have hooked you up with a great tattoo artist.

• 50:55Speaker 03

  And now I've gone to good tattoo artists and said, can I get this lasered off and redone? And they were like, your skin is so thin there that it's probably just gonna look like you're burnt. Like, it might be worse.

• 51:06Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really? So wait, so-

• 51:07Speaker 03

  I don't know what to do with it.

• 51:08Jason Bateman?

  And your mom got the same one?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  My mom, my dad, my brother. I mean, the story behind it is so special, but it was like, and theirs all look great, by the way.

• 51:16Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Cause they all went to better tattoo people. And I was like, I'm the one who has to cover it up for work every day. And it's like, raised up, it's really-

• 51:24Jason Bateman?

  Don't you hang out with Thoreau just a little bit?

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Oh, I know Thoreau.

• 51:27Jason Bateman?

  Okay, so he could have hooked you up with somebody with maybe a better needle.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  I didn't know him then.

• 51:33Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:33Speaker 03

  This was 2010.

• 51:35Sean Hayes?

  I love that your whole family has it, though.

• 51:37Jason Bateman?

  Any thoughts on Justin?

• 51:38Speaker 03

  This was October of 2010, Will. You remember?

• 51:41Will Arnett?

  I love that. I love that. By the way, I wasn't gonna say it before, but you know, when we shot The Rocker, it was June of 2007. Okay.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  I know.

• 51:50Sean Hayes?

  That's so crazy.

• 51:51Will Arnett?

  I know you know. I know you know. Um, uh, uh, that is, yeah, Jason brought up a good point. Any thoughts on Thoreau? And by the way, this is a safe, safe space.

• 52:02Jason Bateman?

  Anything hurtful that you can think of?

• 52:03Sean Hayes?

  Another segment we're introducing.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  Well, you know, he suffers from eczema.

• 52:08Jason Bateman?

  There we go.

• 52:08Sean Hayes?

  Does he really?

• 52:09Jason Bateman?

  That's why he doesn't wear sleeves. Cause he's proud. He wants to show it.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 52:13Jason Bateman?

  No, that's not, that's not true. Really? Where's his eczema?

• 52:15Will Arnett?

  Is he a Sky Rizzi guy?

• 52:16Speaker 03

  I don't know if he really does suffer from eczema. It's just, you know, we've had a lot, we've had skincare conversations, as I'm sure you can imagine, you know?

• 52:22Jason Bateman?

  We once, we once put on his Wikipedia page that he cries when he orgasms. Um, it's true. Kimmel-

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Did someone take it off?

• 52:31Jason Bateman?

  He did.

• 52:32Will Arnett?

  He did.

• 52:33Jason Bateman?

  He did like an hour later. I guess he got an alert or something. Yeah, Kimmel knows how to like break into someone's Wikipedia page.

• 52:40Will Arnett?

  The wrong person to know how to do it, too.

• 52:43Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 52:43Sean Hayes?

  I love that.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Will you guys put something on my Wikipedia page? Don't put that one. Put something different.

• 52:48Jason Bateman?

  No, yeah, we'll, we'll put Jimmy's brain on it.

• 52:50Will Arnett?

  We're gonna put cries when Justin Thoreau orgasms.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  Please, please don't put that.

• 52:59Jason Bateman?

  It would be funny. See how long it lasts.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  It would be funny though.

• 53:03Sean Hayes?

  Can I ask about like early, early, because you have a brother, right?

• 53:06Speaker 03

  I have a younger brother.

• 53:07Sean Hayes?

  You're close with your brother?

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Very, yeah.

• 53:09Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that, is he in the biz?

• 53:10Speaker 03

  It's just the two of us. No, no, he works at like a tech company.

• 53:14Sean Hayes?

  And growing up, was he interested or no? He was just like, you do that, I'm gonna go over here.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  Not at all. He played football.

• 53:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, where was home? Where did you grow up?

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Scottsdale, Arizona.

• 53:24Sean Hayes?

  With the poop, with the poop?

• 53:25Will Arnett?

  Remember?

• 53:26Speaker 03

  With the poop.

• 53:26Will Arnett?

  Remember earlier? That was the same conversation.

• 53:30Jason Bateman?

  How long have you been talking?

• 53:31Speaker 03

  Remember from before? It was like 25.

• 53:33Sean Hayes?

  What did you say?

• 53:34Will Arnett?

  He said, "How long have you been talking?"

• 53:39Jason Bateman?

  And good thoughts, good feelings about Arizona? Do you miss it out there? You still have family out there?

• 53:44Speaker 03

  I do, yeah, I still have family out there. The thing about Arizona is it's so hot. It's so oppressively hot.

• 53:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  It's, it's difficult to, you need to be built for that kind of heat. And I, I'm not.

• 53:58Will Arnett?

  It's not a fun heat.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  It's not a fun heat at all. It's like 120 degrees daily.

• 54:04Sean Hayes?

  And we're gonna, and I wanna, I wanted to ask you this because we're gonna end on a industry business question.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  I love a biz, a biz Q.

• 54:12Will Arnett?

  I love the biz district. I love the biz district.

• 54:14Speaker 03

  I love the heat, I love the buzz.

• 54:19Sean Hayes?

  When you, you know, a lot of people who win an Oscar like you did for La La Land, they, you were amazing, so deserved. I loved that movie, I loved you in it. Did you, a lot of people who win, sometimes it's known as the curse of death with some actors.

• 54:34Jason Bateman?

  First of all, I should ask, are you guys locked? Or, before I give you these?

• 54:38Will Arnett?

  Are you picture locked on La La Land? Cause you got the Oscar, great.

• 54:43Jason Bateman?

  But, couple things.

• 54:44Will Arnett?

  Were it me?

• 54:47Sean Hayes?

  I would've tried a little harder.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  I got some, I got some notes.

• 54:51Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 54:53Sean Hayes?

  I was gonna say, how did you, were you nervous? Did you, did you have anxiety? You're like, oh my god, this is so great, I won the Oscar. But did you, did you feel like, I don't know, a lot of the times, some actors who win Oscars, you kind of don't see them for a long, like, years and years and years. Were you, did you have anxiety about like, crap, I won, now people are sick of me?

• 55:11Will Arnett?

  Nope. Sean, nobody felt that way.

• 55:15Sean Hayes?

  No, and not that I was, no, but just like-

• 55:17Will Arnett?

  Who the fuck would, what kind of psycho?

• 55:20Jason Bateman?

  First thought is that.

• 55:21Will Arnett?

  Now you put that out there in the world.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Why do you, okay, so-

• 55:24Jason Bateman?

  They must hate me now.

• 55:24Will Arnett?

  Okay, Sean, why don't you tell us how you feel?

• 55:26Speaker 03

  Now I know how Sean feels.

• 55:27Jason Bateman?

  When you won the Tony, is that what you were saying? When you were walking up the stage to get the Tony?

• 55:30Will Arnett?

  I checked Sean off my list, I know how he feels about Emma Stone.

• 55:35Sean Hayes?

  That came out wrong. What I meant was, like, did you have anxiety about, like, I'm not gonna work? People are, like, people think, must think, like, oh, we, you made it, so-

• 55:46Speaker 03

  I left, I left, this was a very lucky situation, cause I had, I met Yorgos while we were filming La La Land, and I left the day after the Oscars to go shoot The Favorite.

• 55:58Sean Hayes?

  Oh, that's great.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  So, it was kind of amazing, cause the next day I went right back to work and was back in-

• 56:03Jason Bateman?

  Did you have time to renegotiate your deal on your way to location?

• 56:07Speaker 03

  Yes, so that was, I did delay my flight for a couple hours, just to call, just to call my lawyer, but-

• 56:13Sean Hayes?

  By the way, that was-

• 56:15Jason Bateman?

  Can we just reopen just the salary portion?

• 56:16Will Arnett?

  Couple new deal points that I'd love to-

• 56:18Sean Hayes?

  No, but by the way, that was a big compliment, is what, I know it didn't come out that way.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  I know, I'm completely fucking-

• 56:23Sean Hayes?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 56:24Jason Bateman?

  How many great, cause you've been, you've been nominated, I'm sure, a million times for lots of great-

• 56:30Speaker 03

  He's a millionaire, yeah, yeah.

• 56:31Jason Bateman?

  Lots of great awards. Do you have, do you have, do you have a bunch of great unused acceptance speeches?

• 56:38Speaker 03

  No, what? No.

• 56:39Jason Bateman?

  I'll bet you do.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 56:40Jason Bateman?

  I'll bet, no, but I bet, I bet you give some thought, some respectful time and some thought, to what you would say up there. You're not one of these ingrates that would just, if I win, I win, I'll just go up there and wing it. I bet you've got some fun stuff that you said, I just, my dream is to have like a book, a coffee table book of people's unused acceptance speeches.

• 56:59Speaker 03

  That's a great idea.

• 57:00Will Arnett?

  That's a really good idea.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  That's a really good idea.

• 57:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  That, maybe you should, maybe you should start compiling that.

• 57:06Jason Bateman?

  It'd have to be anonymous, though, wouldn't it?

• 57:08Will Arnett?

  Well.

• 57:09Jason Bateman?

  Right, the people with the speeches?

• 57:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz I guess it would be, but then how do you do an anonymous acceptance speech? Everyone would know who it was, like the people they're thanking.

• 57:17Will Arnett?

  What were you gonna say for the rocker?

• 57:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. If you had gotten up there for the rocker, who would you thank first?

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Probably just Will.

• 57:26Will Arnett?

  Yeah, oh gosh.

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Just Will.

• 57:27Sean Hayes?

  Thanks for being our guest today.

• 57:28Will Arnett?

  I don't even.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me.

• 57:31Will Arnett?

  No, but you got nominated for, you got nominated for Lollapalooza, and what you won? You got nominated for The Favorite.

• 57:36Sean Hayes?

  Favorite.

• 57:36Will Arnett?

  And you got nominated for...

• 57:40Jason Bateman?

  Silence.

• 57:40Will Arnett?

  The Birdman? Is it The Birdman?

• 57:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:43Will Arnett?

  Yes?

• 57:44Sean Hayes?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:45Will Arnett?

  And you had to work with Galifinakis.

• 57:47Speaker 03

  Oh, God, I know.

• 57:48Will Arnett?

  Oh, what a fucking...

• 57:49Speaker 03

  What a nightmare.

• 57:50Will Arnett?

  Is there a least, is there a less talented guy in showbiz than Zach Galifinakis?

• 57:55Jason Bateman?

  This guy.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  You know, from, from your lips to God's ears.

• 57:58Will Arnett?

  I know. I couldn't agree more.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  He was, he was so, so sweet. That whole, anyway, yeah, no, he really is.

• 58:06Sean Hayes?

  What are you gonna do for us tonight, and are you watching Golden Bachelor?

• 58:09Speaker 03

  No. What's Golden Bachelor?

• 58:13Will Arnett?

  I love that answer. I love that answer.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  What is Golden Bachelor?

• 58:15Sean Hayes?

  It's The Bachelor, but an older guy.

• 58:17Will Arnett?

  You should never know what it is, Emma Stone. This is why you are you, cuz you don't know what Golden Bachelor is.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  I'm just out here breaking bones, getting sick, not watching Golden Bachelor. Um, well, now I'm gonna look it up and watch it.

• 58:29Will Arnett?

  You went through a phase, Sean went through a phase where he was breaking bones, right?

• 58:32Sean Hayes?

  Yep.

• 58:34Sean Hayes?

  Early twenties, Chicago.

• 58:35Will Arnett?

  Hey, hey.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 58:37Will Arnett?

  Hey, Emma, cool it, all right?

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, sorry, sorry about that. Sorry.

• 58:42Sean Hayes?

  Emma Stone, we're gonna let you go, we're gonna let you heal, we're gonna let you get better, we're gonna make you feel better, we're gonna, I'm gonna send some soup over.

• 58:49Speaker 03

  You don't need to send anything.

• 58:51Sean Hayes?

  All right, good.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  It'll be, okay, great.

• 58:52Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I won't do that.

• 58:55Sean Hayes?

  I just saved myself a call to my assistant, so, uh...

• 58:59Speaker 03

  Thank you guys for having me. I'm sorry I was such a, you know.

• 59:02Jason Bateman?

  You're incredibly fast hour.

• 59:05Sean Hayes?

  Huge, huge, huge fan. Huge fan.

• 59:08Will Arnett?

  You're the best. Such a massive fan. You're such a, you're a, literally, you're a mega talent.

• 59:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, mega.

• 59:15Will Arnett?

  Yeah, true, truly.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  You guys.

• 59:18Jason Bateman?

  Emma.

• 59:19Will Arnett?

  Emma Stone.

• 59:20Speaker 03

  Thank you guys so much for having me. Meant a lot.

• 59:23Will Arnett?

  All the best. Hey, hey, Emma, one thing, I want you to remember one thing.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:28Will Arnett?

  And I, I hope you've lived by this credo. You can always say this to every, any guy. If you want to be my lover, first you gotta get with my friends.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  Will?

• 59:38Sean Hayes?

  If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.

• 59:42Will Arnett?

  Thank you.

• 59:42Speaker 03

  Thank you. Thank you so much.

• 59:44Jason Bateman?

  Is that a Spice Girls lyric?

• 59:45Speaker 03

  I will take that with me.

• 59:46Jason Bateman?

  Okay, got it.

• 59:46Will Arnett?

  You're welcome.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  You not knowing that that was a Spice Girls lyric is one of the more painful things.

• 59:51Jason Bateman?

  Well, imagine what I thought, because I didn't know it was a lyric. I just thought he was just saying that stupid, crazy sentence.

• 59:57Will Arnett?

  No.

• 59:57Jason Bateman?

  Like, what?

• 59:58Will Arnett?

  I was trying to connect with her.

• 59:59Speaker 03

  Did you just call the Spice Girls stupid and crazy for their lyrics?

• 1:00:03Jason Bateman?

  Not a lyric. If it was just this goodbye sentence for a podcast interview.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  And this is where I log off.

• 1:00:10Jason Bateman?

  What about when James Cameron, when James Cameron, Cameron won the Academy Award for Best Director of Titanic? I had not seen the movie, but when he walks up on stage, he says, "I'm king of the world."

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  Did you say you've never seen Titanic?

• 1:00:21Jason Bateman?

  At the time, I had not seen it. When I saw him go up on stage and say, "I'm king of the world," I thought, oh no, what did he just say?

• 1:00:28Will Arnett?

  I've never seen it, I know.

• 1:00:29Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:30Speaker 03

  Oh my God. The guys, you got a lot of homework to do. Jason's listening to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Will, you're watching Titanic. And Sean, just get, get Ricky, you know.

• 1:00:40Jason Bateman?

  Fix your cat.

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  Get him a little bit. Fix your cat.

• 1:00:43Jason Bateman?

  Emma, thank you for being here.

• 1:00:45Will Arnett?

  Thank you.

• 1:00:46Sean Hayes?

  Bye, honey.

• 1:00:46Jason Bateman?

  Feel better.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:00:47Jason Bateman?

  Bye. Bye bye. Good night.

• 1:00:50Will Arnett?

  Sean, you were right. Great guest.

• 1:00:52Sean Hayes?

  She did it while she was sick. So nice for her.

• 1:00:54Will Arnett?

  Sick, sick as a dog.

• 1:00:56Jason Bateman?

  This is worth, you know, when we do these late night records, it's, it's, you know, the, the stakes are high that it, that it, that it be a good guest. And you nailed it there.

• 1:01:04Will Arnett?

  Well, by the way, for the record, it was a 4pm record. So when you say late night, for most people, they have a different. Okay, but the other thing is, I will say this, and this is a compliment to you JB, not even a fucking, I'm not, there's no punchline. She has a great work ethic, like a lot of people I know who started young in, who are young in, as actors, directors, whatever. She has that same thing and you have that same thing. Uh, which is, she's sick, blah, blah, blah. I, in all the years I've done stuff with you, I've never known you to call in sick. Not fucking once.

• 1:01:37Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Oh, there was plenty of times when I'd clear my day when it was 3, 3am and I was still having fun.

• 1:01:45Will Arnett?

  Oh yeah, back, sorry, except for the one, except for when you blew your, except for when you blew your colon out during that fight scene on Arrested Development. You did.

• 1:01:52Jason Bateman?

  Well, you fought too hard. You broke my colon.

• 1:01:55Will Arnett?

  I know, that's true. But, uh, but anyway, she, she does have that great thing. She's always just, God, she's so good. You always, when you start listing off the stuff that she does and they're all so different, you're like, yeah, yeah, I missed something.

• 1:02:06Jason Bateman?

  When an actor has never sucked, that's, that's something.

• 1:02:09Will Arnett?

  She's in that category. She's in that never sucked. It's, I, I always say John Goodman, number one. He's the first guy I always think of when I think never, has never sucked. And she's in that category. There are few people who fall into that category and she's one of them.

• 1:02:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, she's incredible. Um, I didn't get to ask her about, I want to talk more about La La Land, about how she shot.

• 1:02:28Jason Bateman?

  Get ready, well.

• 1:02:30Sean Hayes?

  Next time, next time, next time.

• 1:02:31Will Arnett?

  Honestly, nobody better.

• 1:02:33Jason Bateman?

  There it comes. Who's got it?

• 1:02:35Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, well, I love Birdman too, you know?

• 1:02:38Will Arnett?

  Oh, you know what I also liked? Did you ever see Bye Bye Birdie? I couldn't even do it. I couldn't even, of course you really knew that.

• 1:02:44Jason Bateman?

  You're fired, Sean.

• 1:02:45Sean Hayes?

  Bye Bye Birdie.

• 1:02:47Jason Bateman?

  Wait, what? Wait a second, you can't just start saying.

• 1:02:50Will Arnett?

  No, that's, it's just, it's, it's too.

• 1:02:53Jason Bateman?

  You're too tired. See, it's too late. It's too late to even come up with a bye.

• 1:02:57Will Arnett?

  Well, I was gonna say this, I love that she got her name from the baby Spice because she's such a fan of the Spice.

• 1:03:05Sean Hayes?

  Spice, girl.

• 1:03:08Sean Hayes?

  That's good.

• 1:03:09Jason Bateman?

  That'll do. Bye, everybody.

• 1:03:18Speaker 04

  Smart. Less.

• 1:03:24Will Arnett?

  Smart Less is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarf.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  Smart. Less.

• 1:03:40Speaker 05

  Everyone knows those red Target bags, but what's inside? That's a different story for everybody. Maybe it's something new you didn't know you needed, something that makes life a little easier, or turns an ordinary Tuesday into something to look forward to. Because a Target bag isn't just full of things. It's full of what you need, what you love, and even what you'll love next. This fall, all that's new and uniquely you. It's in the bag, only at Target.

• 1:04:10Sean Hayes?

  This fall, L.L. Bean is celebrating the moments people look forward to all year. The first school drop-off, the first sweater weather day, and the first chilly evening around the fire pit. For over 100 years, L.L. Bean has been part of these traditions. Crunching leaves in Maine-made Bean Boots, cheering from the sidelines in Scotch plaid flannel, and walking the dog in a rugged field coat. That would be so fun. So grab the layers and people you love and get outside. Visit llbean.com to shop the fall collection. L.L. Bean, be an outsider.