#325 Sean Strickland - The Most Controversial Fighter in the UFC Opens Up Like Never Before

Sean Strickland is a two-time UFC Middleweight Champion known for his outspoken personality and unconventional path to the top. After overcoming a difficult childhood, he found purpose through MMA and rose to become one of the sport's biggest stars, capturing the middleweight title in 2023 and reclaiming it in 2026. Privacy isn't Paranoia, it's Protection Download Glacier - htps://theglacierapp.com App Store - https://srs.site/glacierapp Shawn Ryan Show Sponsors: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://shipstation.com with code srs. Taxes and fees apply. Shopify: Stop waiting for permission to build something. Your next revenue stream starts free at https://shopify.com/srs Visit https://drinkag1.com/SRS to get a free AG1 Travel Case with 7 free AG1 Travel Packs in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. Start your new morning ritual and get up to 43% off your MUDWTR with code SRS at https://mudwtr.com/SRS! #mudwtrpod Sean Strickland Links: X - https://x.com/SStricklandMMA Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stricklandmma UFC Official Profile - https://www.ufc.com/athlete/sean-strickland Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:34Shawn Ryan?

  You ready to party?

• 0:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's go. I feel like if a hitman and a pimp were to have a podcast, this is kind of rumor, and we got the, we got the purple, the murder icons everywhere. It's great, dude.

• 0:47Shawn Ryan?

  Lots of booze.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  Lots of booze. I'm talking about pimp and a hitman.

• 0:50Shawn Ryan?

  I don't even drink.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  No, but it's dope, man. I got the tour, dude. Oh, this guy got, this guy murdered him. This guy killed him. Oh, yeah, dude. It's real fucking cool in here. I feel right at home.

• 1:00Shawn Ryan?

  There's Eddie Gallagher's burner charges up there.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, dude. It's real nice, dude.

• 1:04Shawn Ryan?

  But, uh, this guy over here took the world's longest sniper shot or was on the team.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  Oh, man, you gotta get one of Tim Kennedy's grenades in here.

• 1:13Shawn Ryan?

  Well, nobody could find him.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  My, actually, I fuck with Tim Kennedy. But, yeah, no, this place is dope, man. You been out here fucking crushing, doing all the right things. You just had Candace Owens on? Bro, that's a crazy.

• 1:27Shawn Ryan?

  That went nuts.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a crazy bitch right there, dude.

• 1:30Shawn Ryan?

  She's awesome.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's awesome, bro. I mean that all, I mean that, but do you look at her eyes like, man, that's a crazy ass bitch.

• 1:36Shawn Ryan?

  That's one person you don't want coming after you.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, no, for sure, dude.

• 1:40Shawn Ryan?

  But, um, yeah, man, I've been pumped about this.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I'm here, I'm crushing it, dude. I'm just out here getting hit in the fucking head, getting distracted by the murder icons.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  It's war, it's not murder, right? Fucking all goddamn heroes.

• 1:55Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, there's a lot of, dude, there's just a lot of history in here, man.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, this room is dope, man. This room, guys, if you ever, you know, if you ever go do something fucking Sean Ryan worthy, you gotta come check out the room.

• 2:05Shawn Ryan?

  Your stuff's gonna be hanging in here, too.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, and that's dope, dude.

• 2:08Shawn Ryan?

  But, uh, but, um, yeah, let me, uh, give you an introduction here, not that you need one. But Sean Strickland, you're the current UFC middleweight champion and one of the most outspoken and polarizing fighters in mixed martial arts. Since making your UFC debut in 2014, you've built a reputation for your relentless fighting style, elite boxing, and willingness to take on anyone outside the octagon. You've been open about your difficult upbringing, overcoming childhood abuse, and how fighting gave you purpose and direction. Whether people agree with you or not, you've built a reputation for speaking your mind, challenging the status quo, and refusing to filter your opinions. Welcome to the show.

• 2:53Shawn Ryan?

  And I gotta say, man, out of, uh, you know, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but the thing I love the most about you is you're unfiltered. And I don't, I don't remember the exact quote, but, you know, we, you said something about you could be making a lot more money if you would just shut your mouth. And I'm in that same boat. And, um, you know, and one, one thing I've noticed is a lot of people, you know, when the money starts coming, the mouth.

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Well, you fucked up because you talked about the one group of people you can't talk about, like me, you know, like, I, I talk about everybody. I'm like the trannies, the homos, the gays. So it's like, I'm already out of here, bro, but I think you, you talk about the one group of people you can't talk about, which you kind of fucked yourself. But, I mean, it's nice, bro. It's nice not to be like, it's nice not to be bound by anything, right?

• 3:41Shawn Ryan?

  But what are you building? I mean, if, I mean, I get like, I, I get it. Some people, you know, they're building a legacy, and that's a financial legacy for their kids, or, or maybe not even for their kids, just for themselves. But if it is for your kids, I mean, if you're filtered, you're just, you're teaching your kids to.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  How much money do you fucking need?

• 3:59Shawn Ryan?

  Exactly.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Like, I always talk to people like, um, especially like, I'll know like streamers, like my, my boy Aiden, right? Like, he'll go and do these, like, these streams. I'm there with him. I'm like, just watching this. I'm like, bro, like, do you ever go home and just fucking hate yourself? Like, do you ever go home and just look in the mirror and be like, this was my day today? And he's like, yeah, all the time. And I'm like, bro, like, like, bro, like, how much more money do you need? Like, you have to be like 50, 100-plus million. Like, how much more fucking money do you need right now? Like, just stop. You don't, you don't gotta be a fucking dildo your whole life. You just stop.

• 4:32Shawn Ryan?

  He built himself into a character?

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, you build yourself into a character, and you just can't fucking stop. Like, you're so afraid of, like, I don't know if it's like, I don't want to be famous anymore, but it's like, you're just so afraid of, like, losing that. It's, it's weird to me, man. It's weird to me. Like, even, even with streaming, I would make probably significantly more money than I do fighting streaming. But like, going on chat, I'm like, hey, chat, like, who do you want me to be today? Chat, like, here, come look at my life. It just, it's so fucking soul-sucking that I almost feel bad for these guys. Like, yeah, dude, you might have a fucking Bugatti, but like, your substance as a man is gone.

• 5:03Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  And then you see some fighters who I, like, used to look up to watch doing, like, oh, man, like, it's real fucking bad, dude.

• 5:11Shawn Ryan?

  It's sad, you know, I saw, like, when I first started this, I just, I never wa, I saw it, you know, in the, just in the, in the veteran community. And we, we all know who, you know, there's, I'm sure, I'm sure we, but, uh, yeah, it's just, it's like, it's sad because they're living in a fucking cage.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  So I don't mind, so I get like, kind of torn between like that, because like, so I never, I always, no offense to SEALs, I always thought SEALs were fucking dildos. I've met real SEALs, right? Because like, the only SEALs I met were like the influencers one. And Mitch, I, I love my boy Mitch, the guy that I, I challenged, see, when he came, then Jimmy beat him up. And so I was always like, to me, like, I always thought SEALs were like, like influencers. And then you go meet like actual SEALs.

• 5:54Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  And like, you're like, oh, dude, I just thought you were a normal fucking guy. Like, there's this guy in Vegas that you're shooting with. Normal fucking guy. You go look at his Instagram, it's just him, his wife, and his kids, like, normal guy, dude, and you're just, so you kind of get, you get, you get shown the, the very small minority of SEALs that act like dildos, but like, the vast majority of them, bro, they're like, I mean, they're like you, you know? But, uh, yeah, no, fucking hey, dude.

• 6:23Shawn Ryan?

  There's a great saying, "The loudest motherfucker in the room's always the biggest shitbag." You ever heard that one?

• 6:32Speaker 02

  I'll tell you a funny story, dude. So my buddy owns a gun store, and it's a SEAL team guy or a Delta guy, I don't know that, I'm sure you could just Google and it'll pop up. He owns a gun store, and I'm just like walking around, like, you know, hey, what's up? And I go in the back office, and he's having like a meeting. There's this guy in a suit, like goatee, and this guy fucking looks at me, right? And I don't know if it's like, just like fucked up, recognizes fucked up, but he looked at me in a way that like, like, you want to kill me. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me in a way that made my, like, little fucking lizard brain just fire, that like, there's something wrong with that fucking guy. So me, being a dickhead, the moment I feel that, I start like,

• 7:14Speaker 02

  I want to see, like, I want to fucking see, so I start like poking you and pressing buttons. And my, so I'm like, hey, dude, like, dude, you're looking at me weird, man. You're some kind of fucking hitman. Like, what the fuck, what kind of PTSD do you got?

• 7:28Speaker 02

  And he just kind of laughs.

• 7:29Shawn Ryan?

  That's a hell of an approach.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  And he just kind of like laughs. I didn't know he was a veteran. He just laughs and smirks, and like, it made me even double down because he didn't even say anything. I'm like, all right, dude, well, have a good one, dog. And my buddy calls me that, that owned the gun store. He's like, dude, the guy you were talking to, he just got, uh, let go of like a, like a fucking Middle Eastern prison. Like, he's ex-special forces, and he like, he got arrested on like a coup, like he was trying to assassinate a public figure. He's like, you're just sitting there talking shit, calling him a hitman. I'm like, oh, yeah. Thank God we're in America. But, yeah, I know, but like, you know, there's a different class of like SEALs and operators that you don't even know. Like, I, the most respect I got from these guys was I did this, uh, charity thing, um,

• 8:12Speaker 02

  it was like a Green Beret, you go and like, you know, you just go shoot, you know, I shot a lot of Green Berets, maybe you guys have practiced a little bit more. It was a competition. But they invited me to go, and I was like, man, I don't like, I don't really have much connection to the military, you know? Like, I, I, like, I like the military, respect them, but I don't really know much about, like, I don't have a connection. I don't have family in the military, like, but I'll go. Getting to know these guys, man, like, life-changing, life-changing. Like, you, you meet these guys, and they're just going away. They, they leave their family for like, you know, months at a time, and it's some fucked up part of the world, and they don't do it, like, they'll never be famous, they'll never be able to be rich.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  And they're just doing it because, they're just doing it because they fucking, they, they love the respect of their, like, their brothers. Meeting these guys, though, you're like, man, you guys are real men. Like, you guys are like the last men on this planet.

• 9:06Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  You, you, you're quiet, you shut the fuck up. You, you go and you pursue this ridiculously hard path that nobody could do. You don't do it for likes, you don't do it for fame, like, you just do it for the respect of your peers. Like, to me, like, the, the Green Berets, the operators, they're, they're one of the last men and like, baskins of masculinity on this planet.

• 9:28Shawn Ryan?

  I don't disagree with you. Masculinity is just disappearing, you know?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  It was, it was a trip to me because I couldn't, I couldn't like fathom that. Like, I was talking to a, like, a guy that wanted to go Delta, and he was telling me some of the things he had to do, and like, like the, the selection process. And I was like, man, I just couldn't fathom doing that and breaking your body and all this shit. And you'll make, I don't know how much Delta guys, maybe, what does a fucking Delta guy make?

• 9:55Shawn Ryan?

  I don't know. It's been a long time since I've been.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Like, just say 200,000, 300,000, like.

• 10:00Shawn Ryan?

  I would not even say that. I would say, I mean, when I was in as a low, a low-level enlisted SEAL, it was 65 grand, maybe.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying, dude. And like, and then these guys, like, they're pursuing this, like, this, uh, anonymity, like, they, they'll never be famous, they'll never be known. It's like, they're gonna go being fucked up parts of the world, doing fucked up things, and like, you're just gonna die, like, I, me as like a white trash kid that wanted to be a fighter, I just couldn't imagine dedicating your life to something and getting really no payoff besides like the respect and dignity of like your peer group and like your, your own image. So like, you meet these guys, like, man, that's just, I can't even fucking wrap my head around that kind of like sacrifice.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  And you're

• 10:47Shawn Ryan?

  Well, it's not even, uh, I mean, it's, I agree with you, but you know, nobody goes into it. Well, I don't know about now, you know what I mean? With, with all the social platforms and shit, but nobody goes into it for that. You know what I mean? If they go into it because you're drawn to, you're, you're, I mean, not unlike yourself, you're drawn to this, to this, you're drawn to the sport of it.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  How old were you when you enlisted?

• 11:11Shawn Ryan?

  I was seventeen.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  And now you went straight SEALs or were you like?

• 11:14Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I went straight to SEALs. I was in BUDS by eighteen and then I was at a team by twenty, twenty years old.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  I know there's like different degrees of SEAL team, right? Like SEAL Team Six is like the, like the, the, the top dog at the top.

• 11:29Shawn Ryan?

  They're the tier one element. Yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Were you tier one or?

• 11:32Shawn Ryan?

  No.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  How hard is it to get tier one? Like, what do you?

• 11:35Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, it's fucking tough, man. He talked to a lot of these guys. I mean, a lot of my friends went tier one and, you know, they say it was just as tough as going through BUDS, tougher than going through BUDS, but different, you know, and, and different as in, I don't know. I think you really, I mean, I can't, I didn't do it. So, but you can't, you can't, uh, you want it so fucking bad. You know what I mean? And it's, it's, I mean, look, it's probably similar to being in the ring. If you lose, it can be humiliating, you know, in front of all those people.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Go back and tell, look, look at your wife in the eye and be like, yeah, I fucking, I quit.

• 12:14Shawn Ryan?

  Yep. And if you try out for a tier one unit and you don't make it, all your buddies that you're there with, that you've served with in prior units, they all see it, you know what I mean? And it can be humiliating.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:27Shawn Ryan?

  And then you go home and then you try again. You know what I mean? And sometimes, a lot of times guys will make it the second time around, but.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  I feel like the hardest thing would be the marches. Like I was talking to a lot of the Delta guys that want to be Delta and you're selling me like the length of marches they have to do. And I'm like, fuck dude. You want me to go like lock me in a, well, I'm gonna go sit in the ocean for fucking twenty-four hours and I can do that. You're going to carry a boat. I can do that. But the moment you said, hey, go walk for a hundred miles with a fucking fifty, seventy pound pack on your back, like.

• 12:55Shawn Ryan?

  The hardest, the hardest thing about being in those units, dude, is, is earning your right to be there every single fucking day. Every single day, like you're being judged, you, it's a competition and they'll kick you out, you know, if you don't measure up. And so, you'll literally have nightmares of fucking it up in the kill house or losing a weapon or, or you'll have nightmares of not rising to the occasion when it counts. You know what I mean? When it counts to take the shot and, and then you wake up and you're like, shit, did that happen?

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Out of all the, no, I mean, same thing with fighting. You wake up, you're like, oh shit. Like I had a dream where I woke up and I was like, oh shit, I guess I'm the middle of the champ right now. It's weird. But like, you know, uh, uh, same thing with fighting, but you're always like, you're always pressure. It's pressure. What, what's the hardest thing about training? When you're going through like the thing, you're like, I hate this the most. Like I fucking, this is the most miserable fucking thing to me.

• 13:53Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, for me, it was probably being in the ocean, being, I don't know. It's a lot. It's, it's the, I got to the point where, when the hype, I would like stop, I could mentally stop myself from shivering so that I could get the hypothermia to kick in quicker. And because once that kicks in, your mind kind of goes numb. You know what I mean? And so did you don't really give a shit anymore. You're like, oh, good. It's here. It's, it's here.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  I bet you don't fuck with cold water. No cold plunge.

• 14:21Shawn Ryan?

  I don't do cold plunge shit and, uh, I probably should, but I don't. And then, and then the other part that you don't hear about is the chafing. So, like, I don't know if they still do this, but, they, you know, you'll go on a four mile run or a twelve mile run or whatever. And you'll get out of the water and you'll still have your wet suit on and they'll be like, I mean, this is the shit you don't see on TV. They'll say, all right, everybody take a handful of sand, put it under your armpits, put it down your junk, put a handful of sand down your ass crack. All right, gents, ladies, we're going on a twelve mile run and dude, your junk is rubbed.

• 15:00Shawn Ryan?

  Can like, you could take whatever STD you've, you know, you can think of in this shit is, there's no skin on it, dude. There's no skin on your sack. There's no skin under your arms. There's no skin in your ass crack.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Do you think it's, do you think the training is just as hard now as when you were in harder or the same?

• 15:19Shawn Ryan?

  I don't know. I don't know. You know, I, I think, I think it's changed a lot. But from what I, from what I understand, and I don't really keep in contact much with the community at all, um, the, the end product is just as capable.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:39Shawn Ryan?

  You know, and there, it, a lot of shit's changed, you know, since I think it should evolve. You know what I mean? I don't think, I think that, look, there's a lot of broke dicks when I was in because they overdid.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, I think maybe that, but like, when you look at the military whole, like, I kind of wish we'd regressed a little bit, be a little bit tougher. Like you look at some of these fucking like, like, I don't even know how they do it. They'll be like a drill sergeant with a fucking iPhone recording like some two fucking liberals, like limp dick, well, women fighting. Hey bro, like, what are you doing? Like, how the fuck do you have an iPhone recording? Like, like, shouldn't you be like teaching these fucking people, smacking them, making them run? Have you seen those these days where it's like, dude, how do you fucking even do? And then you post it? Like, there's no like chain of command that says, hey, don't film recruits being like fucking pussies. Yeah. I don't know, man. The military standard is fucking weird. I actually wanted to join the military when I was a kid.

• 16:25Shawn Ryan?

  Really?

• 16:26Speaker 02

  No, I didn't. So like, fighting sucked, dude. Like, um, I mean, you're so poor. Like when you're a fighter, you're so fucking poor. Like you were like, even when the UFC dude, UFC guys, they're signing guys that like, I think they're signing guys like ten and ten. This is, and this is.

• 16:43Shawn Ryan?

  What's that mean? Ten and ten?

• 16:44Speaker 02

  So like ten to show, ten to win. So you get twenty.

• 16:47Shawn Ryan?

  Twenty grand for a fight?

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Twenty grand. So then you pay off your manager, you pay off, you know, you pay taxes, like dude, you're, if you lose, you'd be making like eight, seven grand. So.

• 16:58Shawn Ryan?

  Shit.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  And now you go and get fucking sick, go get injured and get locked out. Like the UFC is fucking brutal. Like the UFC is so fucking predatory. This is why you see a lot of foreigners excel. Cause you know, guys in Brazil that live in the fucking Ravelas, like dude, ten grand to them, bro. That's fucking life changing.

• 17:13Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  I have buddies that go and like live in like, you know, Dagestan or like Brazil and they go back and they live like a fucking king. Like, bro, you can't even pay rent for a couple of months here. So like, the UFC, bro, it's like, it's so fucking predatory to pay. Like I'm happy. I make good money, but like the only very top guys are making money.

• 17:33Shawn Ryan?

  As you guys know, once upon a time I was a Navy SEAL and then I contracted for CIA. We were hunting, ISIS, Taliban, terrorist organizations, stuff like that. China was there, Russia was there, the Iranians were there and everybody's kind of collecting on each other. One thing I learned is how important encryption and protecting your data is. That experience is just always made me extremely paranoid about what's being sucked out of my phone. What information are people getting? I wanted something that could protect everybody. And so we turned it into an application. We call it the Glacier app.

• 18:15Shawn Ryan?

  It's the simplest app on the market. Just a couple of buttons. Your phone's protected. You got yourself a burner number or five or more. You hit connect. Done. You're protected. This is like the real James Bond shit. MI6 CIA level stuff. Most of the VPN companies that are advertised on podcasts, they're owned by Chinese companies. They're owned by Pakistani companies. They're owned by Israeli companies. I'm pretty sure we've all figured out by now that those companies and those nations do not have our best interest.

• 18:53Shawn Ryan?

  So what do you think they're doing with all that information that they're sucking out of your phone? I don't know, but I'll bet you could come up with some stuff. Ladies and gents, theglacierapp.com or just go on the app store and look up the Glacier app. Take your privacy back. Download Glacier today.

• 19:15Shawn Ryan?

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• 20:48Shawn Ryan?

  I've always wondered that, you know, because I've always I've heard that I didn't realize it was that that low.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so predatory. Now, mind you, like you could you could get a couple fights, maybe in like the UFC, they love you take a short notice fight. The UFC calls you and they say, hey, you want to take a fight on like five day notice? They will give you like, you know, maybe a thirty, forty, fifty grand pay bump. But yeah, the UFC loves that shit. They love short notice fights, give you the biggest pay bumps. And there's a there's a manager named Sean Shelby. Everybody hates dealing with him. Man, I mean, I'm friends with him, but like he was my manager at Walter Way. Oh, dude, he was such a fucking cunt. And I say this as a friend, Sean, you know, like you're a nice guy, but like everybody fucking hates you. Like it gets it's so bad in the UFC whenever someone's like, oh, yeah, what weight class you in? And like, oh, yeah, I'm in this division like, oh, dude, you got Sean Shelby, man, I'm sorry.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, fucking sorry, dude. This guy's so fucking brutal. Like you could have a boring fight or something and this motherfucker will bench you for like eight months. Or like you say, hey, Sean, like I want to fight and he'll call you with like two weeks out from a fight like, hey, we got a fight for you. Two weeks out, you can't give me a little bit more fucking notice? And if you say no, he'll fucking bench your ass. Yeah, dude, the UFC is fucking brutal. Like I wanted them.

• 22:00Shawn Ryan?

  Crazy.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  But this is why I like the UFC. It's like it attracts, you know, fucking the generous. Like you ten and ten for a lot of guys and like where they come from. That's still a lot of fucking money. But yeah, so I would tell anybody, don't join the UFC. And then to be like to get in the UFC, you're a dude, the road's rough. Like it's way easier now than it was when I was a kid. Now it's like you go get a couple of good fights, go get on the contenders and get in, they'll sign you for ten and ten, nine and nine. But the road being a UFC fighter is rough. Like you just,

• 22:33Speaker 02

  like you're making no money. I think I was making like a thousand dollars to fight.

• 22:37Shawn Ryan?

  A thousand dollars to, dude, how do you, how do you live? I mean, do you have a second job?

• 22:41Speaker 02

  I was, uh, dude, I was sleeping in the gym. I had this coach, uh, John Munoz. We had a falling out, but like he would let me sleep in the gym, like he let me sleep in the gym, um,

• 22:52Speaker 02

  shacked up with a girl once. She let me sleep in her house for a while. That was nice. Got me out of shit. Got me out of the gym. Thank you.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  That was nice. But, uh, no, so like,

• 23:05Speaker 02

  as much as I hate the UFC and I and I and I knock on them, they give people opportunity that you never have. Like I've never had an opportunity. But like going back to the military, I'm like, I'm just fucking poor. My life fucking sucks. Like, I have no dignity. I'm seventeen, you know, eighteen, riding a bike to the gym, sleeping on a match. Like, man, I fucking hate myself. Like, I'm a fucking loser, you know, like I'm a fucking piece of shit, right? Because like I'm no high school, I don't have a high school diploma. I'm chasing this. I'm seeing my friends with cars. I'm like, you know, I'm seeing my friends elevate their life. And here I am, just a fucking loser sleeping in the gym.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  So I was like, you know what, man? Like, I hate this. I don't have a high school diploma. So I walked in like all the recruiters, like, you know, and the army was the only one that's like, hey, they had a, um, I don't know if they still do it, but they had a, a waiver that if you had fifteen college credits, which isn't hard to get fifteen credits, apparently, there's only like a few classes. So if you have fifteen college credits, they'll waive your, uh, you don't need a GD. I don't know what it was called, but that was a program at the time. So I'm like, sweet, I'm gonna go join the army. I care what I do, just, I want a place to live. I want to have a car and I want to like, I want to look myself in the mirror and not be like, you're a piece of shit anymore. So,

• 24:22Speaker 02

  I go and I sign up, uh, I go and I sign up for like the local community college. Fucking bomb that placement. Like, man, bomb the place. I look back, my dude, you're a fucking idiot, man. Because I never went to school. Like I like my, if you had to talk about all my years, I went to school, probably like, like kindergarten, first, second, uh, ninth, I probably only been to school for like four years of my life.

• 24:45Shawn Ryan?

  Are you serious?

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, about four years.

• 24:49Shawn Ryan?

  Holy shit, dude.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  So like, um, I have four years. I think about that like, fuck, man, I, real questionable, real questionable. So Kamala Harris, she actually really fucked us on this one.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Uh, in kindergarten, like so Kamala Harris said this thing, if you were true, it made your parents like your parents go to jail. So, you know, growing up, like, dude, it was a fucking nightmare in my house. Like my dad would get home at four, start fucking drinking. And then like we'd be up until like two in the morning, just fucking, fucking war or two, you know? Like I remember like my mom used to like sit in the kitchen and I would like sit between her legs and just like my dad, like you're a fucking whore, you're fucking your boss. And I'm just like a little kid holding her legs.

• 25:32Shawn Ryan?

  How old are you?

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck, man. This is like my, I was like, maybe like kindergarten. Like, I mean, this is like my earliest remembers. I don't, I don't really have a lot of good memories as a kid. Like, it's even like pictures, like my girl will go and like she like frame my, you know, because I've won the belt twice. So she'll go and frame my gloves. My baby, I just hate it. I can't, I can't look back at it. Anytime I look at like a picture of myself in like the past, I fucking hate it. Like I think it just like, just from like so like traumatized as a kid, you know, with who I might, who I was, I can't look at myself and be like, oh, yeah, there's Sean Strickland, you say, I can't say it. But but so my girl is funny. She'll make me all the shit. She'll just load it up. Like I have like a whole closet full of like all this cool shit I can't look at. But, uh, so anyways, um,

• 26:15Speaker 02

  that happened where I'd be up until like two, three in the morning and then it gave me like severe social anxiety to where like, I'd go to school and,

• 26:26Speaker 02

  you know, I was just fucked up. Like I, like, I mean, I just hide under the bed and I want to go to school. Like, so eventually I would go to school and I'd be up all night long because my mom would be like in war or three, like I'd be up till two, three in the morning, watching my mom. And this is like every fucking night, every night. My dad would.

• 26:44Shawn Ryan?

  Would be going on.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  So my dad would get home at like four o'clock and just start drinking and then by like, and then by, uh,

• 26:53Speaker 02

  by like, uh, fuck dude, by, by, uh, I don't know, like nine o'clock, dude, just war, fucking war three. Every now and then he would yell at you and be like, get your ass upstairs. Like, you know, because I would like try to protect my mom, like go upstairs. So you'd go, you go upstairs and like you're just sitting there like, you know, fucking crying your brains out, listening to your mom like, oh, I hope my mom doesn't die tonight. I hope my mom doesn't die tonight. Actually, I remember one time like.

• 27:19Shawn Ryan?

  You say you hope your mom doesn't die.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, you know, because you're just like, you're laying in bed, like hearing your dad, like I'll fucking kill you. Like, I mean, I remember my dad, like, I mean, earliest remembers here, like earliest memories telling my dad that like, you cheat on me again, I'll catch you and burn you and put your body in acid and bury you in the backyard. It's like all night long. You're just like, you're hearing this shit, right? So like, it's just anyways. So I remember, um, people asked if I'm religious, you know? You religious, man?

• 27:47Shawn Ryan?

  I am.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  So I remember like laying in bed once and like, you know, being a kid crying, like crying, no pillow sheets, right? No, like I know sheets in my fucking bed. And like, I know like pillow sheets, like when you have like a, when you have like a dirty, nasty, brown, fucked up pillow that, uh, with no, with no fucking case on it. It's like waxy. So I remember just like crying my fucking eyes out on this on this pillow and I'm like, dude, there's no God. Like, right? Like if there's a God, like how the fuck, like how the fuck is there a God? And these are my earliest memories. Like, why would God do this to me?

• 28:22Shawn Ryan?

  Do you ever think about that still?

• 28:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then like, I remember like,

• 28:28Speaker 02

  wanting to die before I knew what it was. Now with kids are so like suicide's a thing, but like when you're a little kid, you don't know what suicide is, but I remember laying in bed like, man, I just like, why am I here? Like, I want this to be gone, you know? So like, um, yeah, so laying in bed all night long, just not sleeping. So I'd go to school and I would just sleep all day long, just, you know, lay on my desk and just sleep all through school. So kindergarten happened and then I don't know if my mom was working at the time, but then first grade happened and then she started working. So now I had to go and like I'm up all night long and I have to get myself up. I have to get myself up and then walk to school. So you're telling me like first grade, I did it. I walked to school.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  I showed up like late every day. I remember like when nine eleven happened, like I was fucking sleeping. It was on the West Coast. Like it happened at like, you know, whatever time it happened, ten AM, I was fucking sleeping. I remember I walked into like out my third grade class. Like everyone's like watching. I'm saying, hey, what's up, guys? I just, just waking up, you know, like what's going on? So, uh, uh, yeah, so I just would sleep all day long. And then once I hit like third, third, fourth grade, I started ditching. And I was like, dude, I don't have to go to school anymore. Like what the fuck? I just walked to school. Like I'm not gonna go. Like I'm not gonna go. So I just not fucking go. It's funny. I had this one teacher and, uh,

• 29:57Speaker 02

  it made me laugh, dude, because I got this one teacher that took my desk from me because she got so mad I was sleeping. So like she literally was like, Sean, you can't stop sleeping in class. I'm taking your desk from you, make you stand. So I'm just like, I'm like, I mind you, I'm a fucking hoodlum as a kid. I'm like, fuck you, bitch. I'll just sleep on the fucking floor. So I literally just like slept on the floor. And like she took my desk, it was her desk. I'm just in the back of the classroom, just sleeping on the floor. And mind you, she doesn't know I'm sleeping because I'm like, I'm in a fucking war or three at my house, right? So it's like, it's just kind of funny how like society just, you know, never let say, Sean, why, why can't you stay awake in class? Well,

• 30:34Shawn Ryan?

  shit, man.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  So, and then going into fourth grade, they did this, um,

• 30:40Speaker 02

  They did this Kamala Harris did this thing that if kids were truant in school, they'd prosecute. They'd prosecute the parents. So, um, I started ditching like I want to go to school. So my mom had a choice like either she's going to get charged or homeschool me. So now I'm homeschooled from fourth grade, fifth, sixth. I went back in middle school, but now mind you, I went back in middle school and I'm fucked up, right? Like I've, I've only been, I've only been socialized like I was like fucking, dude, I have like, I have fucking friends. So I was like socialized from, you know, kind of socialized for two years.

• 31:21Shawn Ryan?

  Socialized.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  And dude, mind you, I have my house.

• 31:23Shawn Ryan?

  Just humiliated.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. Mind you, dude, like, and I mean, I was watching fucking porn when I was like in fucking second grade, you know, like, like we had like a, like a little porn box in my fucking, like my brother had watched my, my sister's funny dude. My dad, you know, like back in the day, you kids don't know this shit, but they had like the TV with the, the built in VCR. So my dad would always take my sister's VCR and she had to be like, she's probably like six years older than me. So she's like middle school. And be like, oh dad, you left your fucking porn in the VCR as she's like watching, go to watch a fucking Disney movie. And there's like some fucking dub porn tape. So like, we were just around that, like it was just normal. We're just around that shit, you know, it was like very like just, yeah, there's a porn box. Oh dad left the fucking porn in the VCR like,

• 32:09Speaker 02

  you know, so I'm just painting this picture of like me being this unsocialized, like she's not socialized. And then, um, my grandfather was like, kind of like my hero, which is like a military guy. Yeah. Or ex military, he may only did a few years, I don't know if he, I don't know if he like probably got kicked out. But to paint a picture of my grandfather, he's like this six, seven, big white guy, south, like the most racist motherfucker you will ever meet, you know, like cleaning a fucking gun on the fucking porch, dude. Like I don't want us to drop the hard ER, but on the fucking, you know, oh, get these fuck off my, off my lawn. You know, I mean, that was him, that was him.

• 32:52Speaker 02

  So me being this like piece of shit bullied kid by like everybody, my brother, my sisters, like I was the youngest, the youngest in this like brutal fucking food chain. So I just got like, I got the worst of it. So like me, I had this big fucking, big white, strong man who had guns and like, I was like, man, this is like, he's the only male role model in my life. And all he would talk about racist, racist, racist, fucking blacks, fucking Mexicans, racist, racist, racist. So I just like, I assume that identity, like there's this movie, American History X.

• 33:25Shawn Ryan?

  Oh yeah, I know it.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  I mean, that was, that was like who I wanted to be, red laces, swastika, like that was like, man, that's like, that's who I want to be. Like that's the kind of guy I want to fucking be. So seventh grade comes around and, um, you know, I just, I'm full on fucking eat the pudding, you know, I'm like a super just

• 33:48Speaker 02

  real fucking racist, you know? Yeah. Like, so I'm, I'll give you an example, one of actually my good friends, um, this was a, my, my seventh grade, this was a, now, now he's actually a good friend of my, my, my boy Josh. But his sister used to sit behind me in class and I think I said something like, hey, you know, like leave me the fuck alone, give you a basketball, you know, like leave me the fuck alone. So he goes and like tells like a big old black brother, Josh, seventh grade. I'm like, I'm how old are you in seventh grade?

• 34:21Shawn Ryan?

  What, 12 maybe?

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, like 12, right? So I'm at lunch and this guy comes up to me and he goes, hey, man, like you said some racist shit to my, my sister. And I look at him, I say, hey, you fucking, you know, hard ER. Like, why don't I go give you a fucking rope and you can go fucking hang yourself in a tree? Like, I'm like 11, 12 years old saying shit like this. So I mean, I just, I'm using this to paint a picture. Later in life, we actually became like, you know, as I started training, he started training and I kind of grew out of it. We became like really close friends. And you know, I mean, like, hey, so are man, it's just, so that happens. And then I got kicked out of school in middle school for a hate crime.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  I don't know what I fucking did. I probably like was just spouting off some shit. They put me in a a class where they isolate you. They, they put you in a, you go in at 11, you go in at like 10 AM and they let you out at 1 AM. And they do it to keep you away from them. So I was in that for a while and then I went and then I told my mom, like, I can't do this. So she homeschooled me because I was ditching again, because Kamala. So I was ditching, now I'm homeschooled again for eighth grade.

• 35:30Shawn Ryan?

  Real quick, is anybody at the school, is anybody outside of your family asking you what the hell is going on in the home life?

• 35:37Speaker 02

  No, no, man.

• 35:37Shawn Ryan?

  They're just disciplining.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  No, my, my sister's a school psychologist and like you really like, what do you do? You know, you can't, you're like, you can invite, you can involve yourself as much as you can. But what are you going to do? You can't really change anybody's lives. Yeah. So now I'm back in school in ninth grade and I'm loving, I love football. I, I love football. Like, you know, I have fucking football is like my, my dream. I love it. It's the only time I could fucking hit somebody. But I couldn't keep a GPA. I've only done like, I mean, I could probably barely read and write at this time, you know? So I couldn't keep a GPA, I couldn't keep a fucking two point O of my life dependent on it. So then like, I, uh, I got kicked out of school or no, then I, I, once football was a thing, dude, I just gave no fucks.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  I got kicked out of school again for a hate crime. I think a Jewish kid was running for class or office. I was like, dude, like, I think I said, like, the last thing we need is another fucking kite running for power. And mind you, I'm like, I'm in fucking, I don't even know what that means. Like, I don't even know what that fucking means, dude. I'm in ninth grade, I'm ninth grade. I don't know what the fuck that means. You know, but like something my grandpa would say, so I say it. So then I, uh, go to these like just shitty gang school with all these fucking like, which probably not help my racism at all. Yeah. Orange Grove, it's like a, this is shitty. I mean, there's guys like fucking smoking crack in the bathroom, like, mind you, I'm like, I'm like the only white kid here. So I'm like getting fucked up. I'm fighting these little fucking, little fucking degenerates, you know, like,

• 37:07Speaker 02

  like it's, it's, it's making me worse. And this is like why institutions usually make people worse. Where like people go, put them in jail, lock them up. Like, no, you're just making them worse. Like you're just fucking making them worse. So I, I tell my mom, like, I can't be here. Like, I'm like the token racist white kid, you know, I'm beginning fights. So I don't tell my mom, she just knows. So she homeschools me again.

• 37:32Shawn Ryan?

  What does homeschool look like?

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Fucking nothing dude.

• 37:35Shawn Ryan?

  Just nothing?

• 37:36Speaker 02

  Nothing dude, I don't want, you know? So she homeschools me, yeah, like nothing. She homeschools me again. Just because it's like, you know, I go back and then like finally like I go back to, uh, I go back to school again at like 10th grade. I do another fucking hate crime. I get fucking kicked out. I think I had a fight with a bunch of black guys, like jumped me in the locker room and I got fucked because I was white. I was like, what are you talking about? They're like, what you said fucking, I was like, well, what do you think? So I got my ass kicked by like five black guys. What are you talking about? So I got kicked out again for a hate crime. And then, uh, and then I'm in like, and I'm in the shitty school. I transferred to a, a continuation school to get my credits to graduate. I'm like in, I don't know if I'm like sophomore, junior.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  I think I might've been going to my junior year and then I was like, ah, and then I, so during all this, I'm just really pissed off, angry. I start training now. I got like, my mom brings me to a gym. I start training. I fucking love it, dude. I love like training to me was the only time in my life I've ever been happy. I tell the story, but I remember walking to gym, I'd be like fucking 14 years old, 15 years old. And I just got this shit kicked out of me, like the, the other shit kicked out of me by like, like 19, 20 year olds beat the fuck out of me. Only time in my life I've ever been happy.

• 38:51Shawn Ryan?

  Really?

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Like the only time in my life I've ever been happy was like leaving that fucking bloody nose. I'm all fucked up and like, I love this. Like I, I don't know what this is, but I'm, I'm happy.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  So during my, uh, sophomore year, I think the sophomore, junior, senior, I, I'm training now, I'm, I'm at this continuation school. I grow my hair out super long. And that's where Tarzan came from because like, I was so like, you know, like,

• 39:19Speaker 02

  I wasn't racist, I was angry. And once I started training, I really was like, man, I'm not racist. I'm just fucking pissed off and angry. I'm just super fucking angry. So like, going back to like the shame I felt in myself, I wanted to get away from like Sean, the, the little kid, and I wanted like recreate my identity. So I grew my hair out long. And, um, I mean, they used to call me like my nickname in training was hate, like Sean, the hate Strickland, just because like, like everything in me was just hate, fucking hate the color of the wall, fucking hate you, hate this, hate him. Like everything with me was just like, the only thing I felt was just hate for everything. So I grew my hair out really fucking long. I started training, just ate the pudding and training, loved it. Every day after training, I'd skip school to go train.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  I remember talking to all my teachers about like graduating. I was like, fuck this, like I want to be a fighter. And I just like left school. I was like, I never came back. I just went full time fighting from like, from like 15 to, to about, I think 18 or 19.

• 40:20Shawn Ryan?

  He started at 15?

• 40:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I started at 15. So then I'm about 18, 19 years old. Going through like fighting lower circuits. I got, I turned as a professional fighter at 17. So I'm like just going through the circuit, just fighting, taking fights, but I'm like, I'm making no money. I'm a piece of shit, dude. Like I'm a fucking piece of shit. I hate myself. I, I hate myself even more now because now it's like, now I'm becoming a fucking man and I have like, I'm even worse off.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  So, um.

• 40:51Shawn Ryan?

  Why do you hate yourself?

• 40:52Speaker 02

  It's just like you have no money, dude. You have no self. I have no five. I have no fucking G D. I have no fucking money. I'm riding a bike everywhere I go. My like, I like, you know what I'm saying? I'm just a fucking loser. And mind you, I had no social skills. So like, there was no like, oh, like, everybody else is out going to parties and getting laid and like partying. I had no social skills. Like, I didn't. I didn't have that. I remember one time something really stuck with me. Man, I have a few things that stuck with me, like seventh grade, my, I think my math teacher, history teacher, Ms. Wages. She looked at me. She's like, Sean, they build prisons for people like you. Absolutely right. Hundred percent. Like, after I look back, I'm like, yeah, you're a thousand percent percent right. Like, without fighting, the best thing you could have done for me is put me in a cage and said, don't come out.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  But, you know, through fighting, I kind of like found myself. But I had this, uh, football coach, fucking dick of a guy.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  All my, all my buddies were like going out to a movie or something. And he, I was like, dude, what the fuck? You don't invite me and my coach. Hundred percent right. My coach walks up and he's like, dude, why would they invite you? You're a fucking asshole. Like, you're a fucking dick, dude. Nobody likes you. And me, like, at hindsight, I'm like, yeah, you're a hundred percent right. Like, a hundred percent right. So I, I, I like, I have these like little moments in my life that you just remember that like an, like an adult told me, never a kid, like an adult, somebody in authority told me, I'm like, yeah, man, like. You're, you're definitely on, you're definitely on to something. So I'm training now.

• 42:14Shawn Ryan?

  You had like, you had nobody. You had nobody.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, no, I was like.

• 42:19Shawn Ryan?

  There was a positive influence on you. Everybody just.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Well, no, I did. So like I had, um. Man, like all my positive influences were like, you know, my grandfather, like the guys, like I looked up the American history X guys.

• 42:31Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, I said positive influence.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, but no, no positive.

• 42:35Shawn Ryan?

  Like, nobody to like really.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  The gyms helped me because like there were people that liked, that were like me, that, um. The gyms helped because there are a lot of people that like, and I fit in. I would go and like. The only positive influence I got with from the gym, like you'd go fight people and like. You know, like, you, you have like a brotherhood in the gym. It's, I'm, I'm sure it's by very similar to military, just obviously you're not fucking killing people. So it's probably not as strong, but like, you know, you're, you're with these people every day. You're fighting them. That really changed my life, training and getting the anger out. It, it. If it wasn't for fighting, dude, like I always say, like. Oh, he means no, I want to be a serial killer. I fucking would have just murdered somebody on the street and been locked up in the, I would have been institutionalized for the rest of my life. Like, it wouldn't have been like, there would be no romantic story behind it. I would have just.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  Been pissed off, fucking done horrific act and then institutionalized the rest of my life. I would have got out, I would have done another horrific act and then I would just be institutionalized for the rest of my life. That was like my path if it wasn't for fighting, you know, just the long line of institutionalization. But, uh, so now I'm like eighteen years old. My life fucking sucks. I'm a, you know. No self-respect, no fucking dignity. And then I go. To a recruiter and I'm like, guys, my life sucks, dude. Like, I just fucking sucks. I just, I'll do anything. I'll fucking, I'll do anything. Just give me a uniform, give me a place.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Like, let me look in the mirror and be like, dude, you're a, you're not a loser. Like, you know, and then I think that's a lot of, like, I'm sure a lot of people want that. Like, they want the uniform. They want the respect of it. Just to like, you know, you're not that guy anymore. You're that guy. You're the, you're the fucking, you know, the guy on the wall. So I go, I sign up for college to go get my fifteen credits, bomb the placement. So I probably didn't even do more than I needed to. The day before college started, I go to like a high school party, just because like. I'm like, I'm like, I don't advise, I don't know, because like, it was like the in-between to like high school kids, right out of high school, they went there. So it was like the in-between. And, uh.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  I was bored. I was just fucking bored. And I was like, you know, I'm not getting no pussy. I'm just, I don't drink, by the way. And there's these two kids and I was like, I just want to fuck somebody up. Like, the only thing that's gonna make this night better, if I could just fuck somebody up. So my buddy like goes and, you know, like, I'm like, mind you, I'm a predator, like, right? I'm a fucking predator, like even like, I'm not just like some like, you know, fucked up kid that like, oh yeah, poor Sean, like. You know, he just, he had a rough patch. At this point in my life, I am a predator. Like, everything to me is like. I'm looking for my, I'm looking for my kind of fun and my kind of fun is usually like the, to, I always say like, my kind of fun is like. To, you know, violate the rights of others. Like, that's my kind of fun.

• 45:20Shawn Ryan?

  Dominance.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I mean, like, it comes down to like, I think they call it conduct disorder and then it goes to antisocial personality disorder. And like, you have to have like, and I have every single one of them. Like, you have to have like one of like ten traits. I have literally every single fucking one of them, every single fucking one of them. So, um. I'm at this party, I see two victims, you know, they like, eh, they'll, they'll fit the bill tonight. They'll give me something to do. And I'm, I'm, mind you, I'm, I'm stone cold fucking sober. So my buddy. My buddy starts like hitting on one of their chicks and then one guy like comes over and I, I get between, I think I give a fuck. I just like, you know, give me my opportunity. I want my fun. I want to have fun. So, yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  He pretty much like reaches out and like to grab my shirt and I just fucking drill him in the face. Boom. And which is fun. I've hit so many fucking people before, like, you know, you just hit, hit a guy, brother gets out of the car, comes run at me, fucking boom, drill him in the face. Well, that's fun. So I go home. Next thing I know, I get a fucking warrant for my arrest. So cops like call me or getting, they call my brother and my brother tells me, oh dude, they're looking for you. So I go meet up with the cops. And I wasn't like a hardened criminal. I was just a fucked up kid that liked to hurt people. And it just, it was a high school party, got in a fight. The first guy hit, dude, I just fucking destroyed his face. Can't do it in a fight, but I hit a fucking loser. I'm a kid and I'm fucked. I mean, like, fucking.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Broke, broke his nose, broke his jaw, knocked out those fucking front teeth. He had to go get like multiple reconstructive surgeries. The second guy hit, just broke his nose, had to go get surgery. And, uh. I got arrested. Now I'm sitting in. So I got arrested. The guy showed me the picture. He's like, hey, I don't want to take you to jail, dude. I know it was just a high school fight, but it's like. They're fucked up. So I like, I have to take you to jail. So I'm sitting in, I'm in, sitting in fucking county now with all these fucking white supremacist skinheads. And it's a funny story. So I'm walking past. I'm, I'm a kid. I posted my much, I'm a kid, bro. Look at that picture. I'm like, fuck, like you're like, you're like a dorky ass little kid. Professional fighter at the time, but I still fuck kid.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  So I'm walking past like the, the black cell and they segregate in Riverside County and you have like. Dude, it's like. You have like ten, fifteen big old fucking black guys hanging on the cell, like just like talking shit as you walk by. And I'm like, oh, fuck. So I get to my, the segregation cell and all these white guys come up to you. And I was only in for like a day and a half. It wasn't very long. So they get to, uh, the white cell. I remember them like telling me like, hey, Sean, like they, they go, they make your bed. They show you what, because like when you get arrested, they give you this little wooden, they get a little box. And they give you the lowdown, like, hey, you can't shower the black guy. You can't fucking shit what we eat, like, and they give you the lowdown. At the very end of it, I was like, you know, guys, I'm not really like.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  I'm not really racist. So it's like, how does that work? And they're like, well, here's the thing, Sean, you're either with us or you're not. And I remember walking past that fucking, that cell with all the black guys talking shit to me. And I was like, I'm in, brother, like.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  I'm in, dude. I'm in this, I'm in the club, dude. When do I get my tattoo? Let's get to swastika. So, uh. Just shows you like institutionalized, right? You, you, but I remember the thing like.

• 48:36Shawn Ryan?

  You have a choice.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. But I remember the thing though, when I was in there, how much I admired these people. Mind you, these guys are fucking shitbags. One guy in there was for a attempted murder, like. But like, I looked at these people, like, I mean, I'm sure you would look at like a, uh, like a Navy SEAL or like a, like a, someone you look at a hero. I looked at these shitbag people like, man, you like, like I spidered, I talked to him for a little bit. I was like, you're who I want to be. Like, you're kind of who I want to be. Like, I, I admire this.

• 49:03Shawn Ryan?

  What was it about them that you admired?

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Just like.

• 49:08Shawn Ryan?

  Community?

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Community. Uh, I mean, they were cool and they're really nice to me, you know, they're, they're fucking really cool to me, which is probably like something I think it often. But, yeah, I just.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  They just like, just the tattoos are like, they're just fucking shitbag. They're savages. Like, they would do like. It's just like.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  I don't know, man. I always say like. I don't, you, did you have a pretty good upbringing?

• 49:38Shawn Ryan?

  I did. I had a pretty good upbringing. I had a great upbringing.

• 49:43Speaker 02

  So whenever you go through like, and I'm sure you've, you've experienced a lot of like PTSD, but I don't, I don't know how like. I don't know what PTSD feels like as an adult. Right? So like, I, I never like, I don't know what it's like to be normal and then watching your buddy's head get blown off. Like, I don't know what that's like. I don't know what kind of, like, what kind of that does the brain, you know?

• 50:03Shawn Ryan?

  It does less to the brain than what happened to you.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  It's not some people, dude, there's some people like, I mean, I've, I've met some people that like after they went to like Iraq and like they were like, usually IEDs.

• 50:15Shawn Ryan?

  See those Sean, but a lot of like.

• 50:18Shawn Ryan?

  Like I, I had an abnormal childhood for the industry that I was in, you know, and a lot of, a lot of.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  But it probably helps you because you're adjusted. You're emotionally secure.

• 50:28Shawn Ryan?

  You're an oddball. I mean. A lot of the guys that go and have a back, you know, their, their childhoods like you. And I, I didn't, I didn't even fucking know that. I mean, my best friend. In the SEAL teams was dropped off. On a doorstep in a, in a car seat.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:44Shawn Ryan?

  You know, like shit like that. And, and, but. Or like what you're talking about. And I, I didn't even know this until I started this.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:53Shawn Ryan?

  And like you see all this stuff in here, like. A lot of these guys have been molested as kids. They've had sexual abuse, like very similar to your situation. Uh, I have one guy in here, Steve, friend of mine. I mean, they're, they're putting like, put cigarettes out. His, his, his stepdad was putting cigarettes out on his dick. And.

• 51:22Shawn Ryan?

  And you go to like, I did therapy for like three and a half years after I left CIA.

• 51:29Shawn Ryan?

  And they kept going, they kept going to childhood. They kept going to my childhood. There's just, you know, there's not, there's nothing there. Like I had a great childhood, you know, I'm feeling guilty about it after.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  But no, that but that's good though, because it makes you like more emotionally secure, like like my my wife. Great childhood, as perfect as you get. And that's the only reason why we're together. Cause every time I'm with a woman like me, it's like, we're two fucked up people together, but my wife is like so together that she could like, now mind you, I like, I don't, I'm not me, like, you know, usually if you have a wife, guys, you gotta really learn how to just like repress everything. Just fuck. Don't be yourself. Just fucking be completely different. Go hang out with your boys. But yeah, I always wonder though, like, like, um, cause I met some soldiers or like my buddies that were like, usually the IDs will get them, like if they had a friend die in like Iraq or Afghanistan for the ID, those guys are usually ones that fucked up. They feel like survivor's guilt.

• 52:26Shawn Ryan?

  Mm hmm. I mean, it's, I'm not, I'm not diminishing it. I'm just saying that when you go through it, you know, and you start to unpack everything, it all starts with with the childhood drama stuff, man.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, didn't it, uh?

• 52:41Shawn Ryan?

  That forms who you become and that forms everything.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Well, Madison, didn't Madison say something? Somebody asked him about PTSD. He's like, do some people that get it or they don't. It's like, if you, if you're prone to it, you're gonna get it. I don't know the quote, but he said some quote about PTSD.

• 52:55Shawn Ryan?

  Who said that?

• 52:56Speaker 02

  General Mattis about like, he's like, it's either you get it, like some people get it, some people don't.

• 53:01Shawn Ryan?

  Everybody gets it, dude. That dude's full of shit if he's saying that. Everybody fucking deals with it.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Well, I think it's the ones that, but I think it's the ones that like bear themselves in the bottle, you know, it's like there's some guys that like bear themselves in the bottle.

• 53:14Shawn Ryan?

  That's everybody. He's an officer. He's a general. You know what I mean?

• 53:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess he doesn't really fucking know, right? He's just like, he's the one that says he orders.

• 53:24Shawn Ryan?

  I don't know his whole background, but he's a fucking four star general. You know what I mean? So, I mean, he's pretty far removed.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  I know some guys that survive in it. Like I know some guys that are doing contracting work, like even with like, uh, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to give them too many details, but like, there's a big current thing going on right now and they're over there. But, uh, they love it. They fucking.

• 53:44Shawn Ryan?

  You get addicted to it, man. I mean, just like, you're, you're talking about, I mean, that's, that's where you excel at fighting. You're going to parties and, and you get addicted to fucking whooping people's ass, right? You get addicted.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Dude, I fucking, I stabbed a guy. Here, here's a knife, dude. I got fucking killed. Here, like.

• 53:59Shawn Ryan?

  You get, you get, you get, you get addicted to it. You get addicted to the adrenaline. You get addicted to the killing. Some guys have killed so many people that, I mean, it, it gets, it gets boring. It's like, oh, I've not killed anybody with

• 54:15Shawn Ryan?

  a water bottle before. You know what I mean? Let's see how that is. I'm gonna knife this guy in the neck. I'm gonna knife him in the crotch. I'm gonna, you know, try to rip his liver out. I'm gonna hit him in the femoral down here. And it, it becomes like, how many different ways can I gut a dude?

• 54:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, he told me a story about, you know, the place that we can't talk. I don't want to get in that. I don't know if I'm fucking violating or I don't want to get in trouble, but he was like telling me that like they had to go and refrain someone from just smoking civilians. We're like, he would just like, their contracting work, he'd like, he would just fucking shoot. You just fucking shoot people. And like, we had to stop, like, you like, you can't just go fucking shoot people. Like you just can't go like, like some people, man, some people are just like, they're just, but you know what it is? You're religious, I'm not. But it's like,

• 55:03Shawn Ryan?

  I wasn't.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  But like, I, I can, I could use like metaphor, like, like theology, like you all, everybody starts off with like a soul, like a really good, like, like soul, right? And every time you do a bad deed, you like, you kind of erode that part of you. Like every, and every time you push the envelope of something horrible to do, you kind of like, you erode that and you kind of like, you kind of take it away from you. So I think with people with PTSD, especially like with like, when you have, um, a victim mentality, I would actively try to erode my, my goodness, right? Cause like being good never got me anything. Being good got me like, I was fucked up. I was a victim, like,

• 55:48Speaker 02

  that was like, I was sad. I was fucking scared. I would cry, like being good. That good little soul that you have that you're born with. And I'm not religious, but like, I picture be like, you know, like a little glowing fucking ball inside you, that good little soul that you have when you're a kid. It's so innocent. It's so innocent. And then as life and adults and the cigarettes and like as, as you become an adult and like, these fucked up people like can just touch your soul a little bit and they just, they make you feel like such a victim that we're like, you want to talk about like the antisocial degenerates, like the, the conduct disorder.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  You start realizing that like, it's bad. Like this good little, this good thing you have in you that like you care about women, you care about like the victim, like, it doesn't get you anywhere. Just like, it only make, it only puts you in a bad place. So like you start growing up and you just start like carving away and just, just chipping away at it. Like I don't want this anymore. It's, it's not good. Like I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be a fucking victim. Like I don't, I don't want this anymore. Take it out of me. I take it, take it the fuck out of me. So you start like doing things to just like scar yourself, like whether it be like you commit a hate crime or like you violate the rights of others or like you kill a fucking animal. You just start doing these and like it starts after a while, like it feels good. And then you start pushing the envelope of like,

• 57:11Speaker 02

  well, I want to know what this like you said with a bottle. I, I want to kill somebody with a bottle. Like you start pushing the envelope of like, what bad deed can I do to like start making me feel something? And after a while, you're just like, you're just so fucking numb. You're just like, I could do anything. I could fucking, I could kill anybody. I could fucking, I could do anything right now and I could sleep like a baby tonight. But that's what you want, right? That's what your body, that is what your mind is telling you to do. Like you, you gotta be a hard man. Like you're, you're in a different world, dude. Like, but you gotta be able to do any horrible act and go to bed fine. And it, and it feels good after a while. You're like, oh man, dude, I'm like, whether you're sleeping with random women, whether you're like violating the rights of others, like after a while, you're good.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  I'm good. I don't know. I feel fine. So I think that's like, you know, talking about like PTSD and like you're talking about like, what can I kill a man with? There's a bottle. It, you just start chipping away at that like little goodness inside you. And once it's gone, dude, once it's gone, life is nice. It's, it's worse because you're miserable, right? You're fucking miserable and like you hate life, but it's like, but it's a misery you like.

• 58:23Shawn Ryan?

  I wouldn't say it's nice. I mean, it, everything, it all gets fucking boring, you know, like,

• 58:28Speaker 02

  but like, but it's boring, but it's boring now because it's like you're Sean Ryan, the podcast with the family.

• 58:35Shawn Ryan?

  That's not what I'm talking about. I got so fucked up. I, I hated, I, I, I hated being in this country. Cause I, I couldn't get as dark as I needed to be. And so I packed up my shit and I moved to Colombia, South America, and I lived down in Medellin for like five years.

• 58:54Speaker 02

  But the part you miss is that, right?

• 58:55Shawn Ryan?

  No.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  You don't miss it at all?

• 58:57Shawn Ryan?

  Anymore.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  You got the family, the kids?

• 59:00Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I got a family. I got kids, but eat down there. Dude, I just felt empty.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:05Shawn Ryan?

  I was like, this is like, what am I? I just felt empty. Like there was no, there was no good. Like no good. It was, dude, I mean, yeah, was it a good time for a while? Yeah, it was a good time for probably about two or three years. And then,

• 59:23Speaker 02

  at some point you're just like, yeah.

• 59:25Shawn Ryan?

  And then it was like, how many more like women am I gonna bring in here?

• 59:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:30Shawn Ryan?

  Like, shit's as weird as it can possibly get now. Like,

• 59:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:36Shawn Ryan?

  Like everything you can imagine, I've done. Then I started like giving, like I got into coke and I start, I was like, how deep into this network can I infiltrate? And I started infiltrating cocaine networks and figuring out how it works and like fucking slapping dudes around down there, hoping I would get killed. Hoping like, like just, I would bring calculator down there. Cause of, you know, have you been down to South America at all? If you go down there as a white boy, it's a sin for them not to rip you off.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:05Shawn Ryan?

  You know, and so I would go to the co, I would go buy

• 1:00:11Shawn Ryan?

  I guess not tons of coke. I'm not like.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  Now, are you doing this for work or are you just trying to party?

• 1:00:15Shawn Ryan?

  Both.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:00:17Shawn Ryan?

  No, no, no, no, not work. It wasn't work. It was, I mean, it was, it was like feeding, dude, it was feeding my adrenaline. Work was Middle East. This was,

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Shawn Ryan?

  You know, this was totally different, but, um, but I, I, I would like pull up my iPhone calculator and like however many grams or whatever I'm buying, I would put it on my calculator and I would like, like, let's say, if, let's say I'm buying, I don't know, a hundred grams, I would try to put it on my calculator or 50 grams, I'd put it on my calculator type in like four or five point da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Make it look like it was a scale.

• 1:01:00Shawn Ryan?

  But, uh, and I'd slap them, you know, and, and like hoping like, I'd slap them, but I'm hoping like,

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  You gotta miss it a little bit.

• 1:01:08Shawn Ryan?

  Fucking kill me.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  We gotta miss it a little bit, right?

• 1:01:10Shawn Ryan?

  Kill me. Let's get it on.

• 1:01:12Speaker 02

  Miss it. You gotta miss that a little bit. Like there are some parts of you.

• 1:01:14Shawn Ryan?

  I don't dude. Like it, it just got like, I just, you know, every time I would go into those areas, I'd be like, every moped, every motorcycle that would drive by me, I'd be like, all right, this is it. They're gonna drill me in the back of the head. I know it. They're gonna drill me in the back of the head.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  A little bit. Now, when were you religious in or after?

• 1:01:33Shawn Ryan?

  Nah, I wasn't religious. Does that, does that, does that, does that sound like somebody?

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  I'm saying like at some point, like now you like, you value peace and like you, you don't want to be a piece of shit. So it's like, like, did you like, what was your come to Jesus moment? Where you're like, you know, man, like I'm, I'm over the shit. I'm too old for the shit.

• 1:01:53Shawn Ryan?

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• 1:02:37Shawn Ryan?

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• 1:03:15Shawn Ryan?

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• 1:03:35Shawn Ryan?

  Well, I went down, I mean, it did.

• 1:03:40Shawn Ryan?

  I was calling my, I was calling my parents and telling them I'm gonna die down there. You know, and I remember, like I said, I had a good upbringing. I have a good relationship with my parents. But the SEAL teams and the contracting stuff at CIA like fucked me up. And, um, and I just became addicted to adrenaline. So I'd go down there and you can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. And I mean, I was making maybe like 200, 250,000 a year contracting back then, which was great. More money than I've ever fucking made. And especially back then in the, what?

• 1:04:15Shawn Ryan?

  Uh, whatever. Two, like, and

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of fuck money.

• 1:04:19Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, and, uh, and, um, so I could buy my way out of any trouble that I got in. You know, the cops would arrest me. I'd wind up in jail. On the way to jail, I'd just pay them off. Like, hey, let's stop at this ATM. I'll give you a couple thousand dollars. And taught myself Spanish. I totally immersed myself into that like lifestyle. And, um, and I OD'd a couple of times and I remember thinking, like, I remember waking up and then dude, it was crazy, like down there. Like it was fucking crazy. I used to hang out at these clubs. They'd have cocaine.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  What about you moving your identity? Has that been hard? Like, because that was your identity for so long. And now you're kind of like

• 1:04:59Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, but nobody knew it, dude. Nobody knew it. It was just

• 1:05:05Shawn Ryan?

  girls and strippers and hookers and drug dealers and like, and then I would come back to the Saints. Nobody knew what the fuck I was doing. You know what I mean? Some people did, but

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not locked, you're not locked into, uh,

• 1:05:19Shawn Ryan?

  I was just like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna die down here. Like, what is my life even fucking mean? And I got, I got run out of there by the, by their version of the feds. And, uh, kind of, I can't say escape and evasion, but I just, I got out. Because, because, um, I got tipped off that they were on me.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  Now, you weren't down there working. You were just down there partying or a little bit of both. Oh, you know, you're just on the party.

• 1:05:43Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. You're one of those guys. You're one of those kind of savages.

• 1:05:45Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. No, it was not like, it wasn't work. It wasn't, I wasn't

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what, guys, if you've ever been to Columbia and everyone's fucking mean to you, it's because fucking people like this. When you go to Columbia.

• 1:05:54Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, it was, I just, I just, like, that's just like you're talking about, man. You would show up to a high school party and crack dudes in the face. Like, I would show up to the most dangerous neighborhoods in Columbia and weasel my way in and like, be partying with these fuckers at two, three, four, five, six in the morning, going three or four, five days straight. You know, I mean, I remember like partying in places you'd look up and you could see like the water. You know, it was like those, uh, created like, uh,

• 1:06:27Shawn Ryan?

  like, like tin roofs.

• 1:06:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:29Shawn Ryan?

  You know what I mean? And the tin wouldn't even be matched up. So you could see the sun rays coming in. It was just disgusting, man. It was disgusting.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I could see why. I could see why you want to miss that, you know? But like, maybe like the CIA contracting work. Do you miss that?

• 1:06:44Shawn Ryan?

  No. I don't miss any of it anymore, man.

• 1:06:47Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:06:48Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, my life's totally different now. You know, I don't like

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  But imagine that's hard for a lot of vets, right? To let go of that.

• 1:06:54Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, but you have to be willing to let it go. You know what I mean? Like now, but I mean, I've, I've

• 1:07:03Shawn Ryan?

  my adrenaline gets fed in different ways now, you know, so and I have to watch myself and be aware of what the fuck I'm doing, but like all, I mean, we're talking about being unfiltered at the beginning. That can give you, that can give you an adrenaline rush.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  It's so fucking white here where you live, dude.

• 1:07:20Shawn Ryan?

  It's when you, I mean, when you're calling out the most powerful people in the world on a, on a platform.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  And you're, hey, you're becoming that guy, bro. You are one of the most powerful guys now. Your voice, I mean, you're like, is it crazy? Or like, your voice could change elections now.

• 1:07:35Shawn Ryan?

  Well, they didn't change it for the better.

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, yeah, I got fucking scum of that one. But yeah.

• 1:07:40Shawn Ryan?

  You know what I'm saying though? So I mean, it just, you, but I'm aware of like, I'm aware of that part of me. You know, and I gotta reel myself in still to this day. Like, you know, I'm like, are you doing this because it's actually like the righteous thing to do? Or are you doing this because you're like chasing that adrenaline rush? Because I'll do it and then it gets released and then I'm like, there it is. I can feel it. And then I get fucking paranoid and, you know.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  I don't like to travel without my wife because if the longer I'm without her, like the more I'm like, the more I like falling back into who I am. It's like, um, she like, dude, my wife grounds me. It's like, if it wasn't for her, oh, I'd be such like, even being who I am now, you would have a very different version of who I am now. Like you would have a fucking completely different fucking version. But even like when I travel on my wife, so I was out training in Florida, like it just

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  like that like starts creeping back in, the boredom starts creeping back in. Once I get bored, it's like, it just starts like, I go home and I hit my recenter and I'm like, wait, no, no, dude, this is you. This is you, man. You have a mortgage, like you got a fucking dog, you got a wife and a family one day. Like this is you. But if I travel on my wife a lot, it's like, really, I like

• 1:08:51Shawn Ryan?

  Ground you.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm like on the, even like I was walking through like this cute little fucking city we're in, dude. And they're like, all like the nice white people walking and wishing, hey, what's up, white man? I'm so fucking boring. No threats, no like, no, like, there's no danger. It's just like walking through the street, like, I can't fuck anybody up. There's no potential violence. You're just like, fuck, I'm ready to commit suicide right now. The fuck am I here?

• 1:09:17Shawn Ryan?

  It's a good place to raise kids, man.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, right?

• 1:09:19Shawn Ryan?

  It's a really good place to raise kids. Your wife would probably love it here.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. No, she would. She always, uh, she's from upstate New York. So she's always trying to go back, but I just can't deal with fucking, I can't deal with fucking liberals. And then, um, New Yorkers are kind of dicks, even the upstate, the east coast. I think it's like, um,

• 1:09:35Shawn Ryan?

  Northeast in general, the northeast in general is just a different vibe.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're just fucking dickheads, dude. Like, I was in a liquor store and there was a black guy buying like a fucking, you know, buying lottery tickets on the way over here. Bro, super cool, man. Real nice guy. We started talking about life. You don't get that in the northeast. Like, they're just fucking dicks. I don't know. I don't know why. I've actually put a lot on. I think it's just like overly educated people are just like away from violence. Like, um, because like when you're like, when you're when you don't have the education and like northeast is all about education, Ivy League schools, like it's a different class of fucking people in the northeast. Not like New York. New York's a shit hole, but we're talking about like 99% of New York. That like, when you meet a man in the, like the ghetto, you look at him and you acknowledge him and you say, hey, I'm not a friend.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Like, I'm not an enemy. Like, so when I go and I walk and I see a man and like, whether it be black, Mexican, or like some kind of trashy, like I'll look at him, I hear, what's up? I see you. You see me. Like, we're two men. Like, I'm not here to fucking kill you. Like, what's up? But when you're in the like, when you're in like the northeast, I don't think they're violent. I don't think they're violent people. So it's like, when you're in these nice white communities, there's no need to like, there's no need to let me know that you're not a threat. I just find it fucking boring. I hate it. Fucking hate it.

• 1:10:53Shawn Ryan?

  You think you'll hate it if you have kids?

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  I think I'll just sack up and just fucking be born and white, you know? I'll just sack up, fucking sack up. Cause I know who, I know what I want to do, like same as you, like, well, like you're different now, but like what I want to do is not good for me. It's not good for my, not good for who I am. And I, I miss it. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to just go fucking die in a hole and just like, but.

• 1:11:19Shawn Ryan?

  But you have to allow yourself to enjoy life too, man.

• 1:11:23Shawn Ryan?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:25Shawn Ryan?

  Like you have to give it a chance.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know, man. I just so hard. I just find it so fucking boring. Like even if I'm allocating like a, if I'm like watching a fucking sunset, if I'm like getting a cup of coffee, like I just.

• 1:11:41Shawn Ryan?

  That's because your mind's racing. You can't sit with yourself.

• 1:11:44Speaker 02

  I'm just so violent, you know, it's like, and that's why I train so much. Like I'm so fucking violent.

• 1:11:48Shawn Ryan?

  Like what's going through your head? You know what I mean? When you're, when, when's the last time you sat with yourself and you sat still? You probably can never do that.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would just fucking zone on my phone. I'll, I'll, I'll use my fucking dopamine addiction. But no, I like, I know it is. I'm just so fucking violent. Like I can't like, I can't tell you like, I don't know what it is like with other people, but I cannot be in a fucking place and just not wanna like violate the rights of others. Like I just, I'm fucking violent, dude. I just can't like, it's all I wanna do. It's like if I'm in, it's like, I just, I wanna feel like, I'm sure you're like, you know, like when you hit someone on a glove on dude, it's like a different kind of thud. Like it just, like you could feel it on your knuckles, like it's all like, I'm just violent. I can't stop thinking about it.

• 1:12:33Speaker 02

  But not violent.

• 1:12:33Shawn Ryan?

  Do you think about like why that, why you're like that?

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  Just conditioning, you know, it's like, I'm just conditioning and like, um.

• 1:12:40Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, it's because that's where you feel at home. Your whole lifespan like that.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  And I, I find it boring.

• 1:12:47Shawn Ryan?

  So like, human beings will always revert, like, why do you think women that are in abusive relationships and get the shit knocked out of them and raped and da, da, da, like they go from one abusive relationship to the next abusive relationship to the next, and they never fucking get out of it.

• 1:13:05Shawn Ryan?

  Because they never work to give anything else a chance.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  I got a wife, dude. I gotta, I go to nice dinners and shit, bro. I got ballet.

• 1:13:12Shawn Ryan?

  They all revert. They, they revert back to what they know because what they know is home and they know how to handle it. And that's what in my opinion.

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  No, you're under.

• 1:13:22Shawn Ryan?

  That's what you're doing. You're reverting to what.

• 1:13:24Speaker 02

  But I'll go and function, like I'll just go sit there and like smile and ask my wife, how's you doing? Hey, wife, tell me about fuck, tell me about, tell me about your day, tell me about your dream, tell me about the fucking house you clean, you know, like I sit there and I smile and I listen to it, but like, yeah, dude, you know, it is like, you fucking know how it goes. But, uh, yeah, so long story short, I, uh, get arrested. I hit these guys. I went to, and then I got, I went to, uh, I was going through court, I was fighting two felony GBIs, which way over time, maybe they didn't overcharge me. So I, uh, I had to get a bell bondsman. So I had a, I took a short notice fight on South Africa, in South Africa and key to cage to pay my bell bondsman. I got done fighting.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  I, I, the court case got done. Two years later, I'm like 22 years old. My life fucking continues to suck. I'm so fucking broke. I'm still riding a bike to the gym. I walk into, I walk, I walk into recruiters again and they say, hey, I don't know how I, is this thing still available? They said, yeah. And I said, but I've been arrested now, but now I'm, I'm, I've been arrested, uh, and they're like, what'd you get charged for? And I was like, well, I got charged with two, uh, assault and battery with a deadly weapon. And the guys just fucking laughed at me. So get the fuck out of here. Like they don't, military is real complicated with like assault charges. It's a it's kind of a big no-no apparently. So they just laugh. Which is weird cause like, you know, you want people like, but then I realized you don't want people like me. Cause like people like me are liabilities.

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  You know, like they want, like you're the best candidate, great household, you could be molded, you, you have like a, you know, you could be molded, like you have a inclination for violence. Like you're the best candidate for the military, not me, dude. I'm like the guy that goes like fucking, I'm like the guy to do with some horrible act. I'm like, oh yeah, this is the fucking guy. He did this horrible act. Now he's in fucking jail because he's a fucking retard. But, uh, so yeah, after that, then I was like, well, I guess I'm a fighter now. And then I got signed to UFC and then the rest of the history, just kept fighting and the rest of the history.

• 1:15:27Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, how long was your dad in the picture?

• 1:15:30Speaker 02

  So my dad was in the picture for, me and my mom had like a pretty close relationship. Now not so much. I still love my mom, but I kinda look back like now when I talk to her, she kinda puts her in a bad fucking, I still love my mom. But I don't blame her, you know, it's like, we're all just products of our, you know, the sins of our father as they, as you would say. Uh, he was in the picture for,

• 1:15:52Speaker 02

  he was in the picture till I was about 17. My mom, I woke up, obviously was a train full-time fighter at the time. My mom was trying to go for work. My dad like had her locked up in the bedroom and you know, saying, hey, you fucking, you're banging your boss. You can't leave. So I'm like 17 years old. I go walk in and I just beat the fuck out of him. My mom leaves.

• 1:16:14Shawn Ryan?

  Is that the first time you did that?

• 1:16:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, first time did that. It was like, it was the most depressing thing ever, you know, it's like, like, man, you really, he's like laying on the floor, bloody with a broken nose. Like, bro, are you really like, you ruined my boogeyman all night? All my entire life, dude, you were the one that like fucking ruined my life and you're just a pathetic fucking piece of shit. But, um, he, he kinda changed, so for the younger, for the younger guys, there was like an opioid epidemic. It's way less now, but like they were just giving it out, like during the Afghanistan time, right? They were just giving it out. They were just giving everybody out, fucking opioids. So, uh, that was like the biggest change in my dad with the opioids. Like I remember I walked home and he's just like fucking snored and Vicodin on the kitchen counter.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  I was like eighth grade. So once that, once about seventh grade, he's seven, eighth grade. When he started, it's kind of ironic because the opioid epidemic happened right by Afghanistan. It might be conspiracy, but it's kind of like the timeline of it's very fucking strange, right? So he, uh,

• 1:17:19Speaker 02

  once you get, once the opioids and the soul, his soul just vanished, just a weak fucking man, like opioids are like, opioids are like, I mean, if there was a Satan, it's opioids. Like it takes fucking everything from your identity, which for his case is probably better. So yeah, then my mom moved out. I lived in my mom's apartment. I, you know, I'd go sleep in my brother's house, go sleep on couches, just couldn't do the fucking poor man racket until, you know, I made more money. But, um, my dad died of cancer. And, uh,

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  I remember like, uh, he was in hospice at my brother's house. And, uh, I was, I was, I was like, I don't know, probably like early twenties. And, uh, I didn't know why or what I wanted to do with it. I wasn't gonna post it. I wasn't gonna post it. But my brother's like crying in the corner. My dad's laying there fucking dead of cancer. He had so much cancer that, uh, the doctor's like, how did you not know that you had so much cancer? Like, how did you not know something was wrong with you? And it was so fucked up on opioids, you didn't know. So, uh, it's always a funny story, dude. And my dad, one day, somebody, people always like, oh, Sean got sexually assaulted and I, and I never fight it because like so many people have had it happen to you. And it's like, no, fuck you, dude.

• 1:18:39Speaker 02

  Even if that happened, it doesn't fucking matter. Like you're a piece of shit. Don't bring it up. But, uh, one day my dad comes up to me as he's dying of cancer, like it's come to Jesus moment. And he goes, he goes, Sean, you know, I was really bad to you and your mom and your, and your brother, but I didn't molest you.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  Like, well, fuck dude. I guess it could have been worse, man. They were not fucking me, dude. It could have been way worse. So my, my dad's fucking dead now, laying in cancer in hospice. And, uh, he's like frail, you know? And like snack a picture. It's like, I don't know why, just like, it was a moment of like this dead body of this piece of shit. Like there was a part of me that wanted to just like,

• 1:19:23Speaker 02

  there was a part of me that just wanted to like have him in that moment forever. And I just say, my brother got so, he's like, my brother's crying in the corner. He's like, that's a piece of shit. Fuck him. What are you doing here? He's like, why'd you take anything out? We got email. That's your final fucking delete it. But there was a part of me that was just like, looking at this dead fucking body. I was like, I just wanna savor this moment. You know, I just wanna like have this in my phone and just like, so I can like look back on it. Now I'm as like now I'd look back very differently, but so yeah, that was, that's pretty much it.

• 1:19:57Shawn Ryan?

  How do you look back at it now? Is it different?

• 1:20:00Speaker 02

  Nah, sins of the father, you know, it's, um.

• 1:20:06Speaker 02

  It's alcohol, man. I I tell anybody like it's it's it's it's more wild that alcohol's legal in America. Like, I'm a libertarian. I think you should go buy meth if you want to buy meth, but man, it is so fucking wild. I don't I never drank. One of the things that saved me from not drinking and doing drugs was my grandfather was so racist. And like, and like even the American History X, you know, they would like, there's a scene where they get mad at them for doing drugs. So I always thought that like drinking and drugs, well, one, it reminded me of my dad, which I hated. And then it was reinforced by like, I thought the drugs were for black people. So I never did it.

• 1:20:39Shawn Ryan?

  Wow.

• 1:20:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. So that was like my racism. I always say like, I always say that if there was a devil, if there was a devil, man, he's fucking, he's always helped me through life, you know? Like, it was never God, like the devil on my shoulder always like, all the worst and wrong thing I could do, but like, if there was a, if there was a devil, like when I was a kid, it was the only thing that kept me going, you know?

• 1:21:02Shawn Ryan?

  Damn, dude. That's some dark shit.

• 1:21:04Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I'm not religious, but it's like, it's true. Like that little devil inside you that like, that hardens you and makes you prepared for life and like, makes you like a psychopath, like, he was always there with me, but uh.

• 1:21:19Shawn Ryan?

  Did you ever think about what happens when you die?

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  No, man, I don't know. I like, my thing with the Bible, dude, it's just like, it's just so hard for me to think that like this small little region figured it out. And like, you know, then you have the like, the the Jews had the original and then the and then the Christians came and they're like, no, this is it. And then the Muslims came like, this is it. It's like, and they have the whole rest of the world. I I don't, I do believe in like creative design, like you can't look at existence and be like, like, I can't look at this and be like, and maybe this is my brain can't fathom that. I can't look at this and be like, this is all just random. So I do believe in creative design, like intelligent design, but after that, dude, I don't know.

• 1:22:03Shawn Ryan?

  You don't think about what happens after you die? You've never thought about it?

• 1:22:07Speaker 02

  I mean, I try not to, you know, like.

• 1:22:10Shawn Ryan?

  What happens? What do you do?

• 1:22:11Speaker 02

  I mean, it could just be a black screen.

• 1:22:13Shawn Ryan?

  That would be the worst. Well, actually, that wouldn't be the worst, but.

• 1:22:16Speaker 02

  But you say that, but it's like you say that, but like.

• 1:22:19Shawn Ryan?

  You wouldn't know.

• 1:22:20Speaker 02

  But it also like a moment of peace, like you're just at peace, like you don't exist anymore. You know, it's like,

• 1:22:28Speaker 02

  no pain, like you're good, you're just.

• 1:22:30Shawn Ryan?

  So are you atheist?

• 1:22:31Speaker 02

  No, I'm just like agnostic. I don't know. But like, there is something like poetic about like not existing anymore, you know, it's like,

• 1:22:40Speaker 02

  like, I was like reincarnate reincarnation, like I would fucking hate that. What if I get reincarnated in my own life again? I don't want to go through that shit again, dude. Fuck that. Look, I don't want, don't fucking reincarnate me, dude. Throw me in whatever fucking hole you pulled me out of. But uh, yeah, I don't know, man. I just,

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  yeah, I don't know. I just, yeah, what do you, I mean, like, when you, how do you wrap your head around all the theologies? And like the Eastern European and like, or like the, the, the, the, the East religions and like, there's so many fucking different and like.

• 1:23:11Shawn Ryan?

  I don't, I don't. I just go off my own experiences.

• 1:23:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:15Shawn Ryan?

  If that makes sense, you know, and and uh, I'm no theologian. I'm not gonna pump you full of scripture or anything like that, but I've just had too many things happen, man, that like, that, but I have the same questions, not to the degree that you do, like, if there's a God, why am I going through this right now? But I mean, I have this, I've seen shit, you know what I mean? Not in childhood, but in war and like, done things and experienced things and I mean, I should be Ted ten times over by now. Like, I've, I've, I tried to kill myself in my garage. And uh, like I just reclined the seat back and left the car running and

• 1:24:00Shawn Ryan?

  woke up in my room. The whole gap, the whole house smelled like exhaust, that was gasoline. I'm like, what the?

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  How old are you?

• 1:24:08Shawn Ryan?

  Who's after the agency? So probably low to mid thirties.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're just like, I fucking, I'm, I'm empty. I just.

• 1:24:17Shawn Ryan?

  Well, just like you're talking about, dude, like I just, I had nothing.

• 1:24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, like you, you started thinking like, but you started thinking like, like, nothing is better than what I have now. You know, it's like, I just like, if I don't like, yeah, I might be dead, but like.

• 1:24:32Shawn Ryan?

  I shouldn't be here. You know what I mean? Like, I shouldn't be here. I went down there and my, it was, it got so hot because I closed the, you know, I'd done the thing, dude. In my, my, the, it had melted a hole into the gas tank.

• 1:24:48Speaker 02

  How long were you thinking about it before you did it?

• 1:24:50Shawn Ryan?

  I don't know.

• 1:24:51Speaker 02

  No, I'm saying like, so like.

• 1:24:53Shawn Ryan?

  How long was I thinking about committing suicide? I mean, I'd always thought about it, but I never really like went very far. I wasn't like, this is how I'm gonna do it. I was

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  Why I say that?

• 1:25:03Shawn Ryan?

  At the Blue Martini in Boca Raton, Florida, blacked out drunk. Don't know how I got home. Don't remember doing it. Don't remember anything. And I mean, thank God it didn't happen.

• 1:25:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:16Shawn Ryan?

  But

• 1:25:18Shawn Ryan?

  like I.

• 1:25:19Speaker 02

  It's always been in the back of your mind for a while and then you're just, you're fucked up enough to do it, to do the deed.

• 1:25:24Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I did the thing.

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:25Shawn Ryan?

  And I'm still here, you know, and I've had like a lot of stuff happen, dude.

• 1:25:30Speaker 02

  I mean, you get fucking shot and bomb is bomb. Yeah, of course, bro.

• 1:25:33Shawn Ryan?

  Not that, not that. That's not like this. That's not like this to me. That was combat. This was something woke my ass up that I don't remember. Took me out of that fucking garage, brought me upstairs. And even when I went inside, dude, I went inside, I, and I uh, like when I, I woke up, the whole house smelled like gas and like exhaust, came down, saw the pistol on my couch. The pistol that I don't carry. So I got in the safe. It was a big gallon. It was like a forty five. And I was like, I never, I don't, I'm broke, I don't have, I don't shoot my forty five, you know what I mean? Forty five ammo is expensive.

• 1:26:17Shawn Ryan?

  And I'm like, oh, so all my clothes are off. So I went and got a gun to blow my brains out. Something had told me not to do that. Then I'm like, what is this fucking smell, man? Is the neighbors gas on there? So like, what is happening? And I went and I touched the garage door, like the door that goes out to the garage, the door was hot. And I was like, oh,

• 1:26:39Shawn Ryan?

  I think I hear my car running. And so I'm like, maybe something's on fire. So maybe if I open the door, like it'll, you know, the oxygen will hit, it'll blow me to smithereens. So then I tried to kill myself the next morning. I didn't try to kill myself, but I was like, well, if it happens, great. Open the door, nothing happens. I see my car running. I look, the seat is totally reclined back. And the gas is dripping onto the muffler. The muffler's on fire. And I'm like, holy shit. So I mean, I'm still drunk and drugged out on, on painkillers and ox, like all of it, you know? And I'm like, so I'm not thinking straight. Now I know like, oh, the, the, Sean, this wouldn't trigger anything. I'm like, if I hit the garage door, is it gonna spark? Ignite this whole place?

• 1:27:24Shawn Ryan?

  And uh, so I hit it, the garage door goes up and now I like pulled my car out immediately and I'm like, holy shit, dude. Fucking tried to kill myself like three times in a row here. And uh, and there's been like a lot of like weird uh, just weird coincidences that have happened to me that, that, and one of them is, I mean, what I, I thank God like entered my life and was like, hey, fuck it.

• 1:27:50Speaker 02

  But it's kind of crazy, right? Like I would get as agnostic, man, like, I mean, you, you, you're probably one of the most influential people right now and like, uh, and like the, in the space, you know?

• 1:28:00Shawn Ryan?

  Well, dude, I mean, do you ever think about why you're here?

• 1:28:07Shawn Ryan?

  What are you passionate about? Do you help anybody?

• 1:28:09Speaker 02

  Well, it's funny, I was actually leading that, but back to like the suicide thing, um, there's a point in my life where I can think about twenty four seven, couldn't stop thinking about it. Could not stop thinking about it, like I'm driving on the highway, thinking about it, just like, you start like really like making peace with the idea that like what is better, whatever happens is better than now. Yeah, you know, like whatever happens is better than now. That was even when I was in U C, just like, I used to fucking, dude, I used to have to hurt myself in bed at night, like, um, like I couldn't sleep, I just laying back, couldn't sleep. So I'd go and buy like a, like a candle, I'd leave it by my bed and I'd just like hover my hand over the candle just to burn myself. I couldn't sleep.

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  Like, the only thing that could help me sleep was if I was like, if I hurt myself, where I'd like, I'd try a shock machine, but it wasn't really enough. It'd just lock you up. But like, uh, yeah, I could just, like, yeah, no, I mean, but the key is sobriety, right? So like, what people don't realize that doesn't matter how fucked up you are. Sobriety is like what keeps you from going over the edge. Cause like, think about you said I was fucking partying and I got home.

• 1:29:22Speaker 02

  Sobriety is like when you're fucked up and you start lowering that inhibition wall. If I drank, dude, oh, I would, I'd be the fucking debtor in prison. Because like once that, it wants that inhibition, that's what drinking does, it lowers your inhibition. And so now you're just like, oh, I'm down to do anything. I mean, I can't even do, I can't even own a revolver. Like, just like, I have one little twenty two revolver that I don't fuck with because I can't stop. Every time I pick it up, I can't stop thinking about killing myself. So I was a.

• 1:29:50Shawn Ryan?

  You should probably get rid of that.

• 1:29:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I just, it's like duct tape, it's all fucked. It's like a little shitty one. So it's funny, um, like, uh, when I was younger, dude, I had the girl save my life.

• 1:30:02Speaker 02

  Stay inside, I'm fucking at thirty eight, I'm just fucking spinning it. You know, I'm like, in my brain, just talking to her, you know, I'm fucking calling Jackie, save my life, Jack, thank you.

• 1:30:13Speaker 02

  Spinning it, I put a round in it, I'm just like talking to her, I'm just like, hyper fixating on like playing Russian roulette, I'm like spinning, spinning it. And uh, and I put it in, I'm like, I still do this day, dude, it gives me fucking chill, it gives me fucking chill, so I like, uh, I put the round in it, I spin it, I'm just like talking to her. I was like, do you, we should, I should do it. And she's like, Sean, no, don't do it, don't do it. And I was like, no, I mean, like, what are the odds? Like, one in six? One in six, like, that's good odds, I take those odds, right?

• 1:30:46Speaker 02

  So I fucking, I put the gun in my head, and I'm like standing there, and I don't have a, I don't have a cock yet. It was a double action, but I know it was a double single action revolver. And then like, I'm like, I'm working myself up to it, I'm working myself up to it.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  You're a fucking pussy, like, and like, even though I'm having a conversation with her, like, in my heart, like, I have, like, I have every bit of, like, adrenaline and dopamine just being fucking saturated in my brain right now, and I fucking love it, right? Cause it's like, you like, you know, you're gonna need to say you're addicted, addicted to adrenaline, like, you just have these, like, chemicals just saturating your fucking brain. And I fucking, I cock it back, dude, and she starts fucking crying, grabs gun out of my hand, says, Sean, don't fuck never do, if you do, I'll leave you. And uh, and I'm like, let's just see what would happen.

• 1:31:37Speaker 02

  Opened it up, I was about to shoot myself in the fucking head.

• 1:31:40Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, literally saved my life, dude, saved my fucking life. But like, I don't know why, when I'm around revolvers, I can't stop thinking about it, I dwell on it. Like, I'm around revolvers, it's like a game I never finished. So if I have, if I have a revolver, I just like, it's a game I never finished, like, there's a part of me that just wants, I want one pull. I just want one fucking pull, you know? Just one, just, there's one pull, I just wanna see what it feels like. But uh,

• 1:32:06Shawn Ryan?

  That's right in the line. I mean, dude, I had to death wish for a long time, like, we just talked about Columbia, I totally, I, I one hundred.

• 1:32:12Speaker 02

  You get it, bro, but being like, yeah.

• 1:32:14Shawn Ryan?

  I wanted to die down there. I didn't wanna die. I always thought it would be great, yeah, if I die in combat, this would be amazing, this would be great.

• 1:32:22Speaker 02

  Adrenaline, like, I think what it is, when you go through so much trauma, and like, regardless of the fact of how well adjusted you are, when you're living at such a high baseline, everything else is just like, it's not enough. Like, when you're just going through life, like, I'm a fucking dead body, right? I'm like, I'm a human meat bag, just existing in fucking this earth right now, like, I would do anything to, like, feel that pull the trigger. Like, it makes you wanna cry, because I, I love it. Like, I would do any, I just wanna feel that, like, I wanna feel that again, you know? But, but again, the same thing with you, it's like, you, you're at such a high baseline, that like, you at level, it's just, it's so fucking, you're just existing, but going back to like, purpose, when I'm done fighting, that's what I want to do, like,

• 1:33:09Speaker 02

  when you help people, it's a different kind of feeling. Like, when you actually, not like, not like these stupid fucking influencers, like, here's a bag of money, homeless man, like, that, that's not helping people, like, you're just, you're doing this for like, when you do a good deed and nobody knows about it, dude, it like, like, that little soul we were talking about earlier, that, that you chipped away at, that you, that you, that you fucking snuffed out. Every time you do like, this random good deed that nobody knows about, like, you just feel like, it's like, it's like the engine's being fucking trying to turn over again. So when I'm done, that's kinda what I wanna do, just like, get in that kinda space, whether any kinda like self-help pace, just like, kids, anything, I mean, disaster relief, anything.

• 1:33:53Speaker 02

  So I wanna make enough money to where like, I don't need money, and then live modestly, and then just kinda focus on something like that. Just cause it's the only thing that like, makes me feel like I fucking, you know? It's the only thing that makes me feel like I'm not gonna wanna eat a bowl when I'm done.

• 1:34:09Shawn Ryan?

  Well, it's funny you mention that, cause I mean, we're talking about God, and you know what I mean? Agnostic, and all these things, and I mean, and, and, and why would God allow, you know, you to go through that as a kid? Well dude, look at what you're talking about, man. And look how influential you are now. Like, you have like, every fucking kid in, in the country, probably, probably, anybody who watches MMA affiliated with MMA, dude, they all look up to you, man. All these kids look up to you. And we just went over.

• 1:34:39Speaker 02

  The sad thing is, like I.

• 1:34:40Shawn Ryan?

  You're me out, though. And, and we just went over how many kids have experienced this shit, and they have nobody to look up to, and you're the fucking guy, man. You're the guy who made it out of that, look at what you made out of yourself. And so, whenever you do decide to get involved, hopefully, you know, I mean, w- w- with whatever you wanna do, but let's say you go down that avenue, and you start, dude, you're, you're a huge influence to kids that are going through that, and they fucking see you, dude. And then they know there's a way out. Whereas you didn't know there was a way out, man. Well, now, these kids can look at you, and they can say, holy shit, like, that dude went through that, maybe it was worse

• 1:35:22Shawn Ryan?

  than what I went through, and if he went through that, then I could fucking get out of this. And that's how God works, dude. That's how he works.

• 1:35:30Speaker 02

  You may, you may, but you know, man, like, I don't know about God or that, I just know that like, when you, when you help somebody.

• 1:35:37Shawn Ryan?

  Feels good, doesn't it?

• 1:35:39Speaker 02

  It's, it's, it's a different kind of peace that you don't get from sex, from violence, like, i- it's like, it's a feeling that you get that feels real. Like, every time you have like sex or violence, it's a drug, it's a fucking drug, but when you do something good, it's like a different kinda feeling, man, it's like, it's, it's, it's fucking real, I don't know what it is, but it's like.

• 1:36:01Shawn Ryan?

  It's God, bro.

• 1:36:02Speaker 02

  I don't know about that, but either way, man, so.

• 1:36:05Shawn Ryan?

  You're not open to it. You gotta be open to it. To feel it, to let it in.

• 1:36:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I mean, my, my thing is though, like, the whole, like, Christian God, you know, like,

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  I'm not saying it's not a God, and there isn't a God, but like, it's so hard for me to buy into like, the Bible, dude, like, and then like, the old fucking Testament, the fucking Quran, like, fucking, the fucking Judaism, like, you know, like, oh yeah, cut the foreskin off, don't eat fucking pork, dude, send the fucking she bears.

• 1:36:34Shawn Ryan?

  Have you dove into it? Or are you just reading shit online?

• 1:36:37Speaker 02

  I am.

• 1:36:38Shawn Ryan?

  Really delve in?

• 1:36:39Speaker 02

  I will say, dude, if I had to pick religion, I am like, and I say this, I'm not like, all talk about God and Christ, I am like, I think that America is like a religion of Christ. Not only is it a religion of Christ, like Christianity built America, like, different sects of Christianity, but like, the New Testament, Christ, like, everything, like, one of the greatest figures of America, like, it is a beacon of around America, and I think that one of the biggest issues we have is we're going away from that. Me, someone who grew up in atheist, you know, atheist, like, one of the biggest issues, like, we're losing our heritage. Like Christianity, Christmas, the New Testament, like, that's the heritage of America, and it's just like, but I also, like, I, I think that they're actively trying to, like, erode

• 1:37:25Speaker 02

  America from within, like, the, the illegal immigration, like, it's kinda funny. So I wore ICE hat, I'm like, super pro ICE, the only one thing Trump fucking did right. And um, I was talking to uh, somebody at the, like, the P I, and you know, she's super liberal, very sweet, sweet woman. And uh, I was like, well, let me tell you about illegal immigration. Like, there's two coins of that. Me, as a white man who invests money, I love it. Like, I love, like, as a Republican, white man who invests and like, plan to make a living off investments, I love illegal immigration. Why do I love illegal immigration? Like, I, I, I'll say, you're right, I should probably build fucking Democrat, I'll make more money. They come here, they must work.

• 1:38:10Speaker 02

  They lower wages for like, every blue collar, they come here, they lower wages. They must be housed, I need a, I need tax write-offs, I have to go buy some, uh, this year, I gotta buy a couple duplexes. So guess what? I need people to rent them, they're gonna, they're gonna cost, they're gonna make the, the cost of housing go up, more people need housings now, so I'm gonna make more money. Guess what? These people come here, they gotta buy shit, they gotta buy apples, they gotta buy cellphones, they need fucking fuel, they need to buy some of America's biggest companies, well, guess what? I own some of America's biggest companies. I make a fuck ton of money with illegal immigration. But what doesn't, what doesn't help is your kids. Your kids now, they're competing with people that would do more for less.

• 1:38:53Speaker 02

  They're competing with people that want to live next to you. They're like, they're, they're saturating the workforce. They, like, illegal immigration is making your life significantly harder, and you've been, like, sold this bill of like, no, but like, Republicans, and mind you, George Bush was like, Republicans are the biggest fucking advocates of illegal immigration, like, they, you make, you make more money, you make more money, it's like, this is why there's such this massive wealth transfer, transferring, because you just make more money with illegals. So anyways, you go and you explain this, like, you're, you, you are making your life for your children significantly harder by voting for open borders. But like, the liberal, dude, they just can't grasp it, they just can't like,

• 1:39:35Speaker 02

  they're so programmed to think that like, Trump is bad, like,

• 1:39:41Speaker 02

  enforcement of borders are bad, like, you just can't separate them. But I think it's also been like, an active, like, campaign to do it, you know?

• 1:39:51Shawn Ryan?

  Well, it started off with erasing Christianity, and now we're talking about illegal immigration, but um, I mean, I don't disagree with you, I think they're trying to erase it, because it's a value system that they want destroyed. I think that's what all the alien shit is.

• 1:40:05Speaker 02

  But also too, like, I mean, I, I hope your audience is aware, like, illegal immigration is only good for rich people. If you are a blue collar, if you are like, the average working man, illegal, illegal immigration is a way to devalue your life. And if you're rich, you only make money off of it. It's a way to transfer wealth from bottom to top.

• 1:40:25Shawn Ryan?

  I see what you're saying. I mean, I've never really thought of it that way, but even legal immigration, you know what I mean, with, with the H one B visas and all that kinda stuff, which I'm not, that's just, I'm not against.

• 1:40:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, but back to, back Christianity, I don't know, man.

• 1:40:38Shawn Ryan?

  Cause I think that, you know, I think that we should, we should steal the best in class from everyone and bring them here. But when you get, when, you know what I mean, with H one B visa, when you bring

• 1:40:52Shawn Ryan?

  really smart tech people from India in, I mean, that destroys the chances of people here.

• 1:40:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, with, with, with, within reason, it should be balanced, within reason, you should take the best in the world. But yeah, no, but yeah, back to Christianity, like, and vets in training, sorry guys, getting a little fucking ADHD, the CTE, I gotta go do the, uh, what's the drug, the Abogaine, I gotta start doing Abogaine. Right? No, but this is why I like training with vets, I, I tell them, you guys gotta train, like, um.

• 1:41:22Speaker 02

  Like, uh, I obviously have a lot of friends that are bad. It's like, you just gotta train, man. Life's so much better than the gym. You're around.

• 1:41:28Shawn Ryan?

  What do you think? Who do you think you would help? Like, when you're all wrapped up with this?

• 1:41:33Speaker 02

  I could do it. I could literally do anything. I don't care. I could fucking, I could go help people rebuild a house. I could go help kids and I could, I could do anything. I just wanna be in a position to where like, I could give back, right? So it's like,

• 1:41:48Speaker 02

  I just don't find like,

• 1:41:52Speaker 02

  say I were to go start a brand or a company or something, I just start, I don't find enjoyment in that. Like, I don't wanna go sell fucking an energy drink. I don't wanna go like sell nicotine. I mean, I might do that, but it's like, I just do it for fun of it. But I just like, there's no fulfillment in that. What I wanna do is like, rather be like disaster relief, helping kids in need, like inner cities, like I, I just, I feel like it's my duty to give back. And also too, like, I mean, I have so much like love from fans. Like, you know, I have like a different relationship with fans than most people do. Like, um, like even like NFL players, like or other UFC fighters, like me and my fans, like we have like a very like close relationship.

• 1:42:32Speaker 02

  Like, so I feel like the least I can do is just get back. You, you guys make me a paycheck. You want, you buy, you buy fights, like you work your fucking ass off to support me. If I sell product, you fucking buy my product. Like, the least I could fucking do is like, hey, I'm rich now. At least I could give back a little bit. So that's kinda what I wanna do. I don't know what it is, but some of the-

• 1:42:51Shawn Ryan?

  Funny thing is, you wanna give back because you like the feeling it gives you. It's not cuz of the fans, bro. It's because of the fucking peace that it brings you.

• 1:42:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:59Shawn Ryan?

  And the-

• 1:43:00Speaker 02

  But I just feel like it's-

• 1:43:00Shawn Ryan?

  Legacy feeling.

• 1:43:02Speaker 02

  It's like necessary. It's like, it's just like, it feels like it's some, but it's like, this is the issue with the world though, man, like,

• 1:43:09Speaker 02

  nobody like gives a fuck anymore. Like, everybody is so fucking selfish and self-centered that it's like, and mind you, it's hard life and kids, but like, nobody gives a fuck anymore. It's just, everybody is just like a dog-eat-dog world, like church is becoming less. No one gives a fuck anymore. Like even when like Charlie Kirk died, dude, and this is how fucked up, I, I got like, a lot of people related me, but a lot, no. I remember watching him fucking get smoked and I was like, damn, that was fucking crazy. Like, my initial reaction was like, damn, like, oh shit, like it was exciting. And then, I think I said it, like, man, I'm so morally bankrupt that I watched this guy die and I thought it was like the coolest, I made my fucking day, highlight of my day. You're like, oh shit, you know?

• 1:43:55Speaker 02

  And a lot of people had that same, and I, and I agree, I think Charlie Kirk is a fucking hero. I, I, it saddens me as like I look back and saddens me. But I think I made, I think I made a joke right after he died. I think I said like, well, what I always say, the best way to vote is with a rifle, you know, but, I, I like, but then I laughed and I looked back at it, like dude, you were so morally bankrupt that like you just watched a guy get fucking smoked on stage.

• 1:44:22Speaker 02

  And your first instinct was like, oh, that was fucking cool. I wanna watch it. And, and we all look at like, oh, same. It's like the George Carlin card, like bad news. We all fucking love that shit. We love bad news. There are some people that watch it and like horrified and like, oh, that's a fucking terrible thing, but like, I would bet a massive percentage of this world or Americans watched that and their instinct, they got a little, like, oh shit, oh shit, not, oh, that's so sad. Hey, dude, America, just like, you're so, we're so like morally fucking bankrupt now. And I think a lot of it happened, how old are you?

• 1:44:59Shawn Ryan?

  Forty-three.

• 1:45:00Speaker 02

  So I think a lot of it was like the wars in the Middle East. And you see a lot of it with, uh, like, and I will like, I don't wanna be the guy like video games caused it. But when video games intertwined with the military, it created a very different breed of people, right? So like, you're older than me, so you didn't really, you've probably seen it, but you didn't experience it. Like, video games intertwined with the military and you had like, I mean, like, Call of Duty, where like all day long, you're fucking a little kid and you're just fucking shooting people.

• 1:45:38Speaker 02

  Grand Theft Auto. And everyone's like, oh, like you can't blame video games. Like, how do you think it is when little kids now are spending fucking five hours of their day shooting people in the fucking head, playing Grand Theft Auto, beating up hookers? Like, there's been like a psy-op to slowly fuck people up and desensitize people. Like, Americans are so fucking corrupt and morally bankrupt. Now, it's like, I don't even know how you fix it.

• 1:46:06Shawn Ryan?

  It's everything, man. It's, but that's, that's, you know, that's how evil works. It's Hollywood. It's the LGBTQ agenda in kids. It, you know, and how Hollywood portrayed that and how you can't have a legitimate acting career in Hollywood unless you're willing to do a homosexual scene or a lesbian scene. Or, or promote those type of initiatives. It's social media. It's watching people, you know, that, that, that you know personally would never, would never go for this shit. And then the next week, they're promoting it. And then the next week, they're the host of a big show.

• 1:46:43Speaker 02

  I had, I had-

• 1:46:44Shawn Ryan?

  It's like, oh, I wonder what, how that happened. But I mean, it's, it's, the thing is, it's the porn industry.

• 1:46:49Speaker 02

  I had OnlyFans, I had OnlyFans, they have the sponsor, they want to go fuck themselves.

• 1:46:52Shawn Ryan?

  It's all this stuff.

• 1:46:53Speaker 02

  Considered it, but I was like, I don't give a fuck how much money, no amount of money you'd, no amount of money in the world you can offer me that I would fucking do that. You could offer me fucking ten, fifty million dollars, I'd say-

• 1:47:04Shawn Ryan?

  OnlyFans offered you a sponsorship?

• 1:47:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I said, there's no amount of money in the world you could offer me where I'd say yes.

• 1:47:10Shawn Ryan?

  And like, that's what I fucking love about you, man. You're like, you just, you know, well-

• 1:47:18Speaker 02

  I got a weird one. I got a gambling company that wants to sponsor me and like a lot of money too, where I like, I'm, I'm conflicted, but then I'm always like, but then a part of me where I'm like, dude, they fucking, like sports gambling is the UFC. We fucking, people gamble. But part of me feels like it's wrong, but I'm like, it's part of the UFC, yeah, fuck, I might do it. But, um, I mean, when you watch Charlie Kirk get smoked, what would, do you remember your like gut reaction?

• 1:47:41Shawn Ryan?

  My gut reaction was-

• 1:47:42Speaker 02

  Have you met him?

• 1:47:43Shawn Ryan?

  No, I never met him. My gut reaction was, um, he's not gonna survive that.

• 1:47:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. But like, I'm saying, when you watch it, were you like, oh shit? Or were you just like, what was it, what was your emotional state, your baseline? Was it like a?

• 1:47:57Shawn Ryan?

  Pissed. I was pissed. My initial thought was, there's no way he's gonna survive that. Seen people get shot in the neck.

• 1:48:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:48:05Shawn Ryan?

  Obviously, you know, hit the jugular. And then, uh, my other reaction was, who did it? Who's, uh, I immediately started thinking like, who did this?

• 1:48:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was crazy, man. Like, the amount of like, the amount of influence he had over people was fucking wild. I remember like, weeks after, I mean, people were finding God, like, it was a, it was a different.

• 1:48:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was watching it from like a very like neutral perspective. Like, I was watching it from like very neutral standpoint. Like, a part of me was like, this is fucking crazy. Like, I kind of questioned the sanity of Americans. And I say that, and I say that, like,

• 1:48:48Speaker 02

  again, I, I love Charlie. Everything Charlie says, even towards the end with Israel, like the only thing that I, he fucked me off on was like in the beginning when he was a super Zionist, but as he started moving away from being a Zionist. Like, man, dude, me and you, everything you said, I agree with now. But like, watching people's reactions to me was kinda fucking nuts. Like, me, motherfuckers were finding God. Like, people started changing their whole identity around Charlie. They, like, his reels were everywhere. I'm like, yeah, just like, I don't know, I just kinda round my head around it. I was like, it's just so strange to me that,

• 1:49:24Speaker 02

  like, people are that influential, like, that people can be influenced so much.

• 1:49:29Shawn Ryan?

  I think what's going on, man, cuz there's a huge revival happening in Christianity right now. Massive, massive.

• 1:49:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I, I, again, I, I, I advocate for Christianity all the time. I tell people when I fight, I talk about Christianity. If you, you could wake up tomorrow and become a Christian, I like, I wish you the best and like, we need more of that.

• 1:49:48Shawn Ryan?

  Well, what's happening is, there's just nothing that makes sense in the world anymore. Like, how do you make sense of anything that's going on with this administration? How do you make sense of anything that's going on with the last administration?

• 1:50:00Speaker 02

  From the White House, dude.

• 1:50:01Shawn Ryan?

  I know. I mean, it's like, what? And, and, and-

• 1:50:05Speaker 02

  Honestly, though-

• 1:50:06Shawn Ryan?

  We'll go into that, but that's what, that's what, the only thing that makes sense is what's in the book.

• 1:50:10Speaker 02

  I don't blame them for banning me. Because some asshole would have put a fucking camera in front of my face. And me, I would have been like, that little voice pop in my head, guys, I'm just here, I'm not fucking kids. Like, I'm just fucking here watching fights. So I don't blame-

• 1:50:24Shawn Ryan?

  It's absolutely absurd that you got banned from Trump's eightieth birthday party. I mean, America's two fifty.

• 1:50:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:50:31Shawn Ryan?

  That was celebrated on Trump's eightieth birthday party, twenty days before the America's two fifty.

• 1:50:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, uh-

• 1:50:38Shawn Ryan?

  What a fucking bunch of bullshit.

• 1:50:39Speaker 02

  After the fight, it's actually on video. I was like, Hunter, dude, like, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna go to the fight. He's like, yeah, we'll get it done. I'm like, sweet, man, let's go. Cuz like, to me, I could like separate politics and people. Like, like, I, I've met Trump. He's, he's a nice fucking guy. He, he's sincere with his actions. He like, he, he asks you a question and, you know, maybe it's just years of like being Trump. But i- i- if you meet him, you will like him. He, he is a nice fucking guy. He will ask you questions sincerely. Oh, again, you've met Trump, dude. I mean, was that your, did you get that take?

• 1:51:10Shawn Ryan?

  That's a very charismatic guy.

• 1:51:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:51:12Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I did like him. I don't anymore.

• 1:51:15Speaker 02

  But like, even like, but even me, like, I just understand, like, I don't-

• 1:51:23Speaker 02

  I don't really hate people like I don't hate people in a sense like um

• 1:51:30Speaker 02

  so like after uh after Charlie died like you said I want to find that guy whoever did that and like you had this thing of like hate like it's so natural right you're seeing this beloved guy a family guy die but like maybe it's because I'm so like disconnected to things like I just don't like I just don't have it in me like I mean I get to go do a horrible act and not hate but it's like so what I mean by that about like hating people I just

• 1:52:01Speaker 02

  my buddy so I was online I was maybe it's because I'm so disconnected I just I just don't dude I just don't like there's nobody I've met as of now that that I hate or I dislike like you take some weird fucking tranny that like cuts his dick off and like like I think you're fucking mentally ill I think you're fucked up I think that you are an enemy of America I think that you are a bad guy for America but I don't fucking I don't hate you

• 1:52:25Shawn Ryan?

  dude a lot of them grew up like you I brought one on here

• 1:52:29Speaker 02

  like I just

• 1:52:30Shawn Ryan?

  I wanted to understand I brought Chris Beck

• 1:52:33Speaker 02

  did he retransition back

• 1:52:36Shawn Ryan?

  yeah and I so I brought him on because I mean obviously he's been ostracized from the SEAL teams but I was like I've always been kind of infatuated like how can somebody like do this to themselves like how does it work like what what's in the what's going on mentally what's what's the psychology behind this shit and he grew up like you did and he was the whipping boy of the family he got sexually molested he was got the shit beat out of him every single fucking day became a SEAL left the SEAL teams riding with the Hells Angels trying to get like totally fucking baked on coke and every other drug you can think of and he so he wanted to get better he started going to therapy

• 1:53:20Speaker 02

  does he believe in Christ now is he Christian now

• 1:53:22Shawn Ryan?

  he is and when they brought when he brought it when he brought it up in therapy that once I told you always goes back to childhood right and he had mentioned in the therapy section that in the in the therapy session that when he was a kid he would go up to the attic and put on his sister's dress and skips and he was like really secretive about he didn't want anybody so he'd look he'd put on the dress and look at himself in the mirror and the psychologist or psychiatrist whichever it was uh convinced him that he wanted to be a woman

• 1:53:59Speaker 02

  no shit

• 1:54:00Shawn Ryan?

  and and had him write the book The Warrior Princess and while he was baked out on coke and all the other drugs had him sign the rights to the book over to her and he didn't want to go through with the book and she was like tough shit buddy you sign the rights over I own it and released it and when he came on the show he's like dude I never wanted to be a woman he's like I never wanted to change he goes when I was a kid he goes this all got sunk in my head and then I got accepted the the the the LGBTQ community like love bombed me and I've never felt like that amount of love ever in my life

• 1:54:42Speaker 02

  I understand that

• 1:54:43Shawn Ryan?

  and he goes all I want all he goes the only reason I went up to the attic to put my sister's dress on he goes is because I just didn't want to be me and he goes that's the only way I could feel that I could escape like those feelings of being molested by the neighbor and being the getting the shit kicked out of me by my fucking dad every single day of my life and he goes so I would sneak up there and put that on and that's the only way that I could pretend that I wasn't me and when you hear that it's like

• 1:55:16Speaker 02

  you sound saying dude like and I don't fucking I don't fucking hate these people like

• 1:55:20Shawn Ryan?

  right

• 1:55:21Speaker 02

  like I I think they're mentally ill and I think they're fucked up but like just said to hate somebody to me I just don't have it like I just don't have it in me like if you right now if you said there's a pedophile I don't hate him I would I would take a gun and shoot him in the fucking head and I'd probably enjoy the act of doing it but it's like you're just like like I just don't really have that much I don't really have that much hate in me these days it's just like it's just it's over so like when you're talking about like um uh you feel feel that like people need an identity you know like and the him getting love bombed by the LGBT community like him asserting that identity you know like we had an identity it was Christianity that was our identity people would wake up and they would uh

• 1:56:04Speaker 02

  you know they they'd wake up and they'd look at the sun and their identity was thank you for giving me a sun you know they would uh drink water they would think that was our identity and now you just have like these godless people that just stumbling through the earth was your identity and it's just like

• 1:56:20Shawn Ryan?

  it's engineered man it's engineered it's an agenda

• 1:56:26Speaker 02

  but you know back to the Trump thing I get why he didn't I wouldn't I would have banned me too I I would have banned me too I just don't have it in me to like just shut the fuck up like they would have put a camera in my face I would have made a joke fuck I would probably made a joke to Trump dude you know what I will say dude like

• 1:56:44Speaker 02

  it's it is kind of crazy dude how mainstream that how unpopular Trump is because I'll go to places like I went to Florida I met a Texas guy like when we're talking about like hardcore Republicans and even these guys are like I just I can't do anymore Trump I just like I feel fucking betrayed and like Trump to me everyone's like like I was talking to this like really wealthy guy about like Iran and he was saying ah fuck it whatever I don't care I'm like dude you don't care because like you've you're fucking a million you're a multimillionaire I was like dude you gotta think about like every other American

• 1:57:23Speaker 02

  and more Florida Texas that are making like what is the average like I think it's like fifty sixty thousand dollars so you take somebody making sixty thousand dollars and now you add four percent inflation a metric fuck ton of gas you're adding thousands of dollars a year to their to their life like you are like crushing families like not me me and you we don't give a fuck

• 1:57:48Shawn Ryan?

  oh I know

• 1:57:49Speaker 02

  gas could be a hundred dollars we don't give a fuck but it's like the people that have voted you that rallied around you like you actively just fucking spit in their fucking face for what and like when you have you been to a Trump rally

• 1:58:03Shawn Ryan?

  no

• 1:58:04Speaker 02

  oh dude it's fucking nuts

• 1:58:05Shawn Ryan?

  no

• 1:58:05Speaker 02

  so like when you're at a Trump rally you're like oh I could definitely see how Hitler happened like I'm not even I'm not fucking joking dude when you go to a Trump rally it makes you question the sanity of everybody like Trump's up there talking about like we're gonna throw people in jail for burning the flag and I'm like yeah like I mean again you shouldn't do it but it's like you know there is there is a fucking constitution I'm looking at Vivek and Vivek is just like fucking like rubbing his head he gets out and leaves a Trump rally and I'm like ah fuck and everybody else is just fucking full said yeah fuck I'm throwing in jail like like if Trump said go grab a gun and go do anything they would fucking do it they would fucking do it

• 1:58:47Shawn Ryan?

  I know it's a cult it's uh and that's another good that's that's one of the things about Christianity you're not supposed to put you know you don't you don't put your faith in man they will

• 1:58:56Speaker 02

  that's also that's also

• 1:58:57Shawn Ryan?

  fucking time

• 1:58:58Speaker 02

  about you what I have respected you for so much is you were one of the OG thinkers where you're just like especially in your fucking space you were one of the OGs they're like wait a minute like just stop what are you fucking doing like what the fuck's going on and not many people did that not many people did that you were one of the you were you were one of the biggest voices and opponents to war you know it's like if somebody like if you were the complete opposite you would you would

• 1:59:28Speaker 02

  you would convince so many people if right now you came right here and you started talking about like how good it is and we should double down and do more

• 1:59:37Speaker 02

  millions of people would listen to you and advocate for it

• 1:59:41Shawn Ryan?

  I can't do it I can't be chained and that's what this administration and probably every administration has done you know I mean right when he got in there I got an invite to I can't remember go somewhere and I was gonna get I could fly on Air Force One with him and I could go to the White House and fly on Marine One ironically I was gonna have to pay for the flight Marine One and I was like uh one no two I know what the fuck you're doing you're trying to like capture me and put chains on me so that I can never leave you you you want you want to you want to make it look like I'm a part of whatever the fuck you have going on and I'm I am and I'm an independent thinker I will never do that I will never put I will never willingly put myself in

• 2:00:26Shawn Ryan?

  in a position where that that I can appear to be captured by

• 2:00:33Shawn Ryan?

  by a specific movement like I am my my own person well and and I I'll never give up that that freedom

• 2:00:43Speaker 02

  I always say like I always like I have this thought that like

• 2:00:49Speaker 02

  If you wanna see a man's character, see how he acts to a bad guy who's nice. And so what I mean by that is like when you meet bad fucking people and they do bad things, they're the first one to shake your hand and like hold the door for you and like where like character matters and like your foundation matters. If you could stop and be like, wait a minute, like I don't give a fuck how nice you are to me. Like you're not gonna like, you're not gonna get me to, you're not gonna coerce me, like you're not gonna fucking sociopath and make me do a bad deed. And so like with Trump, in a sense, he's kinda like that way, man. I don't, again, I know Tucker Carlson said that like, uh, he thinks he has like demonic, I don't believe

• 2:01:29Speaker 02

  that, like he's demonic, but when you meet him, he's so charismatic and he's so nice that you're like, you almost could overlook. If you were like, if you don't have a strong will and a strong character, you could almost, yeah, you could just get sucked in and then like, and you just become part of the, the machine. It's, it's so hard when you meet charismatic people like that, that are just so fucking good at getting you to lower your guard and be accepted. And I mean, again, go to the Trump rally. But, um, yes, I, I don't blame, I don't blame Trump for, for getting me, but man, they were so weird. Even me, but like I get so much hate now from going

• 2:02:10Speaker 02

  back to the Navy SEAL thing, like, you know, when, when I was like pro MAGA, dude, I had so much, like so much more love from people. We're like, and I don't give a fuck, but the moment I like came out and said, hey, man, the, the, the list is a little fucking weird, like, and then like, you know, you're like, like, I'm just asking fucking questions. You're like, well, what do you mean? I'm like, well, dude, let me, let me tell you that has history that I know it. Trump reluctantly signed the bill, like he reluctantly signed the freedom to, to release the files. Fucking guy has Pam Bondi, who he put in, have his personal lawyer handle all Todd Blanch, have

• 2:02:51Speaker 02

  all file releases. He handles all redactions. Fucking three, get three million documents out of six million. And then, and then what happens after that, uh, he goes and interviews Trump's personal fucking lawyer goes and interviews Maxwell and says, uh, the only thing she says is he didn't, no involvement, no involvement. The next day, dude, I have a buddy who's a prison guard. He was telling me about the prison she's in. And dude, it's nice. I could go to that fucking prison. I got TVs, get puppies and shit. And it's like, like, how do you guys not like, how does that not concern, like, how could you not like just hear that and be like, huh? Like, I just like,

• 2:03:34Speaker 02

  how do you not, bro? Like, how do you not? And I'm not even saying Trump did it, but I believe that Trump is protecting and hiding powerful fucking people and he's used the government to do it. And like, I don't give a fuck how you hate me. You cannot give me an explanation for this.

• 2:03:51Shawn Ryan?

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• 2:05:16Shawn Ryan?

  I had a conversation with somebody in my family about this and he's, he's like, well, maybe, maybe he's trying to protect the victims. Did you ever think of that? I said, huh, I'm glad you asked, because funny enough, the only names in the files that were redacted were the abusers.

• 2:05:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, how hard, how hard would it be to take a fucking permanent marker and just cross out Stacy's name, Jessica's name? But instead you, it's like, and that's what I'm saying.

• 2:05:42Shawn Ryan?

  He, he's vocalized it, correct? I mean, Margie, I think Margie Taylor Greene even said, you know, that he had told her, I can't, I can't do this because then these are my friends.

• 2:05:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:05:53Shawn Ryan?

  Or something along, allegedly, something along those lines.

• 2:05:56Speaker 02

  But they're all that way. Do you, uh, I gotta ask you, bro. Do you believe in the Charlie Kirk? Do you, do you accept the narrative with the three, thirty out of six?

• 2:06:04Shawn Ryan?

  No.

• 2:06:05Speaker 02

  You don't?

• 2:06:06Shawn Ryan?

  No, but I don't, I'm not.

• 2:06:08Speaker 02

  You don't know the answer, but you say, so that's why, man. I think it's.

• 2:06:12Shawn Ryan?

  Anything I say would be.

• 2:06:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think I'm, I think I'm, I think it's strange. I think it's strange. Like I, I went hog hunting, you know, last weekend and like you're washing these fucking like AK round, just rip through hogs, rip through them. I mean, like three, 200 pound hogs, boom. I think it's strange, but it's like, to me, it's just so, like, I could not fathom getting like so much manipulation of information to get the gay tranny guy to agree, to get him to agree to, like, I can't wrap my head around that level of conspiracy.

• 2:06:46Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, there's too many weird things that have happened. I can't name them all, but I mean, one of them, you know, is, I mean, they, they, what did they do? They concreted over the, the site. I mean, it's just Candace told me that it was done in the middle of a pentagram and I, I personally do think that this is all, I think everything now is good versus evil and there is a demonic element to it.

• 2:07:07Speaker 02

  Oh, a hundred percent. But I mean, but again, a hundred percent.

• 2:07:09Shawn Ryan?

  If you look at some of the, the rituals and I mean, the stuff that was going on in the Epstein files and it's all ritualistic.

• 2:07:16Speaker 02

  And I mean, look at a, look at Alex.

• 2:07:18Shawn Ryan?

  Human sacrifice.

• 2:07:19Speaker 02

  Infiltrated Bohemian Grove. Like, what are you talking about, dude? Buring effigies. Have you ever took a lie detector test? No, you haven't took a lie detector test? Okay, dude, I fucking, I hate Cash Patel so much. Like Cash Patel to me is like the weakest fucking man in the world. Fucking, like you look at Cash Patel and you're like, dude, you were like, you were as weak as fucking dirt. I cannot stand him. So funny, funny enough,

• 2:07:46Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm curious your take on this. And this is like, so there's this manager, Ali Abaziz, fucking whatever the fuck, one of the biggest managers in the UFC, spoke at Trump rallies. Looked like manages everybody. Let me tell you this guy's fucking backstory. And by the way, he's best friends with Cash Patel, best fucking friends with Cash Patel. So I started thinking about this, cause, uh, all these UFC fighters went and hung out with a bunch of FBI agents. I'm like, dude, why the fuck you didn't call me guys? Like a fucking, a love law enforcement, like, like I don't, like, why didn't you call me? And I started looking at Ali and all these pictures. One of the biggest managers in the UFC, this is, this is his accolades. After nine

• 2:08:29Speaker 02

  11, it's all in a book. There's a, a book, it won like the fucking, like, uh, some like fancy award in New York, some liberal fucking award. It's, it's, so it's like, it's a very credible book. He, he gets arrested after nine 11 with a bunch of passports or like IDs or fake documentation. He's locked up on felony charges of like falsifying information. And this happened like weeks after nine 11. This is what I know. Don't fucking sue me. This is what I know and this is what the book says. So he's in a Colorado lockup and then he gets approached by the FBI. They called him, uh, I think he was, they have his, like, they even have his number, like this is all factual, what I'm saying. They had his like, uh, his informant number. They have him

• 2:09:14Speaker 02

  as a high paid informant, like spying on like, I don't know what organizations, but like some like Muslim Brotherhood, something like, and he's traveling here and here and there. And, uh, he gets out, they give him a lie detector test because they suspect him lying. His nickname was the Dolphin because he would talk so much. They, they suspect him for lying. So they give him a lie detector test and he fails. And they, uh, they let him go. He can't, if he leaves the country, they won't want him back in. Like, I mean, he is like, by all, by all information known, this motherfucker is a, a snitch terrorist. That like, if you, when you look at all pieces of information and he goes and is best friends with fucking Cash Patel, and I'm sure, I'm sure

• 2:09:57Speaker 02

  he goes to Cash Patel, like, hey, brother, brother, brother, let me, let me, you wanna go meet Khabib? You wanna go meet Justin Gagey? I go meet Justin Gagey. And it's like, you just look at these like, these things, like, man, dude, like. The fuck you guys like what the fuck dude?

• 2:10:12Shawn Ryan?

  It's par for the course, man.

• 2:10:14Speaker 02

  But like so.

• 2:10:15Shawn Ryan?

  The country is not well.

• 2:10:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:10:16Shawn Ryan?

  The the president's kids are buying private island are buying private islands with bunkers. Now, if the country was doing well, why would the president's kids be doing that? I mean, it there's just there's so many I get I get painted as a a a like I'm taking money from Qatar or something. I'm sorry, I'm not the one that took a $400 million jet from Qatar. Maybe you should fucking look, you'll excuse me?

• 2:10:44Speaker 02

  Kind of funny back to love dude, Israel like love me at one point. So like Israel, I mean, like I would get messages from Israel like because they fucking love me. So after October 7th, because I've been like really eating the fucking Zionist propaganda most of my life. And it took kind of October 7th to like, and I'm no like, I'm no like fan, like I'm not like, I'm not like the Muslim like I. All the Muslim guys I know are generally really fucking cool. Like I train because you know, and fighting, you train with a lot of them. They're generally really cool. They don't want to come bring fucking Sharia law. They just want to train, get a fucking paycheck and go back to fucking Dagestan, where the fuck they're from. And like, they're generally cool fucking people. So like my experience with Muslims isn't like the propaganda that they're that they feed me like.

• 2:11:27Speaker 02

  I'm assuming that there are a lot of radical fucking Muslims that like want to go blow up shit. I'm assuming that is the case, but like my experience. I train with them, hey, brother, how you doing? They go back home to their family and and that's my experience, right? I'm sure you might have a different experience. That's my experience.

• 2:11:45Shawn Ryan?

  No, man, I I'm I used to hate him. I mean, I used to hate him because of what I did, but you know, that flag right there. Was given to me by a really good friend of mine who's Muslim and he was a US, he's a US uh or American Afghan citizen. And he was army intelligence. And he's really tied to the resistance that's going on over there right now. Do you know about that?

• 2:12:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:12:14Shawn Ryan?

  So they the so the Taliban has basically assassinated all of our partners and I mean, shot them in the back.

• 2:12:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, we fucking we really did them dirty.

• 2:12:22Shawn Ryan?

  And so the resistance is is kind of like, you know, the free party, you know what I mean? They they want free Afghanistan. And so he goes over there and he brought that flag back. He uncovered this this thing, they'll tell you about in a minute, but he brought that flag back. He recovered it from the Taliban burning it in Afghanistan. And he gave it to me on this show and he wanted, he wanted everybody in America and the world to know that the United States is funding the Taliban in cash forty to eighty seven million dollars in cash a week.

• 2:13:02Shawn Ryan?

  And so when you think about that and you think about the Iran war and what's the narrative on the Iran war? Oh, they we they've been our enemies for forty seven years and they've been killing our people and they they equipped uh the Iraqi insurgents with EFPs and all this and they did, they are, they are, they did do that. But don't feed me that fucking line of bullshit about we're going after our enemies when your administration is sending forty to eighty seven million dollars a fucking week to the Taliban, who we were directly fighting.

• 2:13:37Speaker 02

  Like what fucking twenty years?

• 2:13:39Shawn Ryan?

  Don't paint me that bullshit, you know, that that works on the majority of the country because they don't know what that's what's what's what's what's really going on. But don't tell me about this, they've been our enemy for forty seven years and you give a shit about our enemy when you're fucking paying our real enemy right there.

• 2:13:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:13:57Shawn Ryan?

  It's it's everything that they are telling us is a fucking lie.

• 2:14:01Speaker 02

  Because I grew up in the nineties and after nine eleven, I mean, again, you you've experienced, you were fucking, you know, like you've lived it. But I like Muslim to me was like the fucking boogeyman, the Muslim is bad, the Muslim's fucking bad like. And we're so propagandized, so after October 7th, I was like full saying like Muslim bad, Hamas bad. You'd go in there, get your fucking people back like and like the Israelis loved it because they're like, yeah, Sean's saying go to fucking war, go get your people back. And and I I stand by that, although I think Israel, I think Israel knew about October 7th, like, I mean, you're talking about it.

• 2:14:38Shawn Ryan?

  Has that been proven?

• 2:14:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, you're talking about a country that has a smaller border than fucking New Jersey that is like a literally a prison. And you're telling me that like you didn't know, like you gave people pagers and you put them all over the terrorist organization. You didn't see these people buying paragliders, tractors, welding shit, you fucking knew, you fucking knew. And then you look at their response. It wasn't like a response of like, we're gonna go get our people back, they go like the satellite images like.

• 2:15:06Shawn Ryan?

  It's almost like they needed it to happen so that they can do everything that they're doing right now.

• 2:15:11Speaker 02

  And this is where like, and this is where is.

• 2:15:13Shawn Ryan?

  I don't like nine eleven.

• 2:15:16Speaker 02

  And and this is where like, and this is where Israel, me like, now now people in Israel fucking hate me. Like, it's funny, you're loved by them and you're hated because it's like, dude, you made me realize like Israel deprogrammed me because I'm watching what you guys did to Gaza. And we're not seeing like, I don't see, when I see a dead body, I don't see a fucking jihadist with an AK. I'm seeing a little girl being pulled out of a fucking building. I see map images of this like piece of land that like is now a demolition site. Like you are committing on a very small scale a genocide, you are you are or like when they lost me, there was like one of our fucking Zionist leaders. I think maybe it was like Tucker or something or like he's your interview.

• 2:16:02Speaker 02

  And he said, well, what would you do if uh what what did we do to Hitler? Like, what would we do to the Nazis referring to like, we're having a proportional response to what they're doing? I'm like, well, what you want to do, you want to go over there and fucking murder kids? Like, we didn't go to fucking war too, we didn't go fucking murder kids. We liberated them and we rebuilt Germany to one of the most fucking successful countries in the region. That's what we did after war too. We didn't go flatten everybody and fucking murder kids, like, don't give me that crazy shit. So like during this this course of like, I really deprogrammed myself from from like from Israel, the Israeli propaganda.

• 2:16:42Speaker 02

  And I don't think, like, I'm not a Candace Owens, like, I don't think there's like a secret, like tiny hat room where guys are sitting around a table like, we're gonna overthrow America, we're gonna do this and do that.

• 2:16:56Speaker 02

  What people make a mistake on conspiracies don't like, patterns don't always equal conspiracies. There can be a pattern, but just because there's a pattern, doesn't mean there's like some like, you know, that there's just because there's a pattern, doesn't mean there's some like puppet here pulling the strings like.

• 2:17:16Speaker 02

  I want to say this right and I don't want to seem like I I'm not anti Semitic. I don't give a fuck if you're a Jew, no, I don't know, like, everybody says like, oh, Jews this, Jews this, most Jews I know agree with me. Like my my boy Aiden Ross, he would sit here with us, Jewish guy, he's like one of the owners of Kick. He would sit here and agree with everything you're saying, like most Jewish people I know. When we have these conversations, they're like, yeah, dude, you're right, I'm not a fucking Zionist, I'm just born a fucking Jew, you know? But like

• 2:17:48Speaker 02

  if you look at and I'm kind of going to deep in a rabbit hole, I want people like to understand this because you have people like Candace Owens, and I know she's your friend. But like Candace Owens doesn't do anybody a service. So like Candace Owens, she's so over the top that she's used as a as a weapon against like thought because you have these, she says all this crazy shit like Charlie Kirk's a time traveler, like blah, blah, blah, blah. And every now and then she'll sprinkle in truth to what she says, but really all she does is like belittle the movement and water the movement down of what it is. What it is, we when you want to talk about like the Jewish propaganda or the Israeli propaganda. It is very fucking simple, it is very fucking simple.

• 2:18:34Speaker 02

  They only care, like, they only care about Israel, they want Israel to be this nation, there's no there there's no like, there's no force behind them saying that we're going to destroy America. What they advocate for due to the Holocaust, due to them not really having a country. They advocate for things that they believe are right for the world that actively destroy America. So what I mean by that is like you have George Soros. George Soros, when he's advocating for open borders, you need to understand he's coming from a place to where like his his people. They had no home, they were kicked out of this, kicked out of that for reasons why, you know, they they were kicked out of here, they were kicked out of there.

• 2:19:18Speaker 02

  So like when George Soros advocates for this, he is advocating from a place of like, I think this is good for the world. We should have open borders, we should, you should be able to migrate, which is ironic because fucking Israel is a fucking prison, go migrate to Israel, let me know how that goes. But but what is good for you is not good for us. But it's like, they're not, they're not doing it and like a hatred. Or you take like people often talk about like Nazi Germany, um, the like one of the early founders of like transgenderism is, you guys could all fact check me on this, but uh it was a Jewish, a Jew guy, he was a, he was a homosexual doctor. And I think that it's also like a a I think it's also like a curse of intelligence, right?

• 2:20:03Speaker 02

  Like like Jewish people have on on average have higher cues, they're just, they're more intelligent. So like generally, sometimes like when you look, when you're overly intelligent, you start breaking norms, right? So like. When you're really intelligent and you could like fathom like the intricacies of the world and like, you start breaking down norms. So like, why is gender a male and a female? Like, why is it not on a spectrum? Like, you know what I'm saying? Because you could start really, like, say you're not religious. You could start making cases for like, well, humanity in a thousand years, would it not be better if there was no gender?

• 2:20:44Speaker 02

  And you could start making these like cases and orchestrating a world that you want to be in.

• 2:20:50Shawn Ryan?

  And this is where you need to get into the Old Testament.

• 2:20:53Speaker 02

  But I'm not saying we're coming from a place of not-

• 2:20:55Shawn Ryan?

  A lot of this stuff is in there, where they talk about a genderless god. This shit is all like happened.

• 2:21:02Speaker 02

  I will say, let me, let me tell you one thing, dude. I do find it really odd, the correlation between like Bible and, and like what it is now, right? So back to like the Jews promoting, you know, promoting this ideology that like Hitler hated. So Hitler goes and expels these people. But I, I don't think that like, I don't think that like the George Soros, like the Jewish elite. The issue is you have such a small population with such a mass amount of wealth that has way too much power. Like you're, you're such a small population, you shouldn't have this much control over like millions of people. If you make up like 3% of the world, why do you have so much of a voice?

• 2:21:41Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm not saying like no persecution, but like you, you're acting and, and financing things that people don't agree with. But like going back to, you know, people like, why does the Israel lobby, George Soros, why are they, you know, one of the first movements of communists, like five people were like, one of the main, one of, one of the main people of like the communist movement were like Israeli, were Jewish, not Israeli, Jewish. So what you have is you have people like Candace Owens going and saying, there's like this Jewish elite around a table, pulling strings, trying to destroy America, when that's not the case.

• 2:22:20Speaker 02

  You have hyper intelligent people, hyper wealthy people, doing what they believe is the right thing to do. The thing they believe is the right thing to do is have open borders, to have a fluid gender. This is why they go to Hollywood and they push it. There's no, there's no evil strings. This is what they believe in their heart is the right thing to do. And usually if you're hyper intelligent, you're more liberal. That's just how it works.

• 2:22:46Shawn Ryan?

  I don't know, man. I'm gonna disagree with you on that one because one,

• 2:22:52Shawn Ryan?

  with Candace, I think Candace is-

• 2:22:56Speaker 02

  I love Candace.

• 2:22:56Shawn Ryan?

  On the right trap with a lot of things. There's a lot of things that I'm unsure of that she says and, um-

• 2:23:02Speaker 02

  Okay, let me ask you, why does Hollywood-

• 2:23:03Shawn Ryan?

  Hold on, hold on. And I don't, like, you, you are kind of

• 2:23:09Shawn Ryan?

  grouping all these Jewish people together.

• 2:23:12Speaker 02

  Well, I'm not because I have a lot of Jewish friends.

• 2:23:13Shawn Ryan?

  Israelis together. And I don't believe that either. I believe that there is a, the, the, the, the people that are there under right now have an agenda. I think it's been there for a long time. And I think there is definitely a hundred percent.

• 2:23:32Speaker 02

  Well, let me explain-

• 2:23:32Shawn Ryan?

  Maybe not to destroy America.

• 2:23:34Speaker 02

  There's two part-

• 2:23:34Shawn Ryan?

  But they have completely infiltrated American top politics through APEC, through Hollywood. I mean, there are a lot of things-

• 2:23:43Speaker 02

  But why is Hollywood-

• 2:23:44Shawn Ryan?

  To push the Zionist agenda.

• 2:23:46Speaker 02

  But why is Hollywood-

• 2:23:47Shawn Ryan?

  To propagandize the United States with the, with the Zionist agenda. And we've bought off on this for a long time. We've fought a lot of the wars for them. Those are our people.

• 2:23:59Speaker 02

  But yes and no.

• 2:23:59Shawn Ryan?

  And so if you think about it, it's actually a genius plan because we, we are the proxy.

• 2:24:08Speaker 02

  Like, okay, let's unpack.

• 2:24:09Shawn Ryan?

  Hamas is a proxy. We are the proxy. Who's funding the majority of the war in Iran right now?

• 2:24:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I get it.

• 2:24:17Shawn Ryan?

  We are. Who's, who, who? You know what I'm saying? And this is coming from Zionist influence.

• 2:24:24Speaker 02

  I have questions.

• 2:24:24Shawn Ryan?

  And so there are powerful people in all, I mean, in all these, look who owns all the, all the media companies now.

• 2:24:32Speaker 02

  So I, okay.

• 2:24:33Shawn Ryan?

  You know, it's all, all the Zionist agenda.

• 2:24:36Speaker 02

  I got questions. I got questions. Let's unpack. So you say all wars. And by again, let's talk and let's remember, patterns don't always be equal conspiracy. Sometimes there's patterns that just happen to align and they're together. So

• 2:24:51Speaker 02

  go back to the petrodollar. We had an agreement, when was it? Fucking the, the 50s under one president, that we would have a security pact to help, to help, you know, stabilize the region. So what happens? And I believe that this aligned with America. I, I mean, there was a speech about don't letting the military industrial complex get involved. I mean, how many, how many politicians take money from the military industrial complex? A hundred percent of them, a hundred percent of them. So I think that, so you have the US agrees, we will stabilize the region, use our US dollar.

• 2:25:30Speaker 02

  You buy oil with us, we'll, we'll make sure everything's fucking peachy keen. And you can validate. I mean, I'm sure you know more about this world than I do. So Saddam Hussein goes and, you know, goes and does Saddam Hussein. He goes and invades Kuwait. He just got, after just got done a bloody war with Iran, goes and invades Kuwait. And then now the US is like, they're looking at this opportunity to of like, okay, we gotta go, this is our job. You use our petrodollar, we need to do this. Now, is it also in the best interests of Israel that Saddam Hussein and the Iraq government was overthrown? A hundred percent.

• 2:26:10Speaker 02

  A hundred percent is in the best interests of Israel if Saddam Hussein, Iraq, who is not a friend of Iran or Israel, gets overthrown. So you have, Israel is a hundred percent lobbying the US government to go fucking do this. But it is also in our interests to go and stabilize a region and become closer with these massive oil distributors and, and put bases there. You see what I'm saying? Now, mind you, our, our founding fathers very much warn foreign entanglement. But you have the military industrial complex, he's making a lot of money out of this. You have Israel, who obviously doesn't like Saddam Hussein in Iraq.

• 2:26:50Speaker 02

  And you have them lobbying, making a case and presenting to our leaders, hey, no, we, they, we've, we did this security agreement. We have the pact, go over there and stabilize. So we go over there, we, I'm, I'm just trying to like, I'm just breaking this down so people understand. So like you could, you could put fact to conspiracy because sometimes conspiracy, it's like, it, it just puts you down this rabbit hole. It doesn't make sense.

• 2:27:13Shawn Ryan?

  What I'm saying is not a conspiracy. This is true.

• 2:27:16Speaker 02

  Well, no, and what I'm saying is true.

• 2:27:17Shawn Ryan?

  Fifteen or sixteen million dollars into a, a local Kentucky congressional race.

• 2:27:22Speaker 02

  What I'm saying is true too. Israeli lobby, the Israeli lobby, the military industrial complex, the oil industry, all these people all lobbied us to go get involved with Iraq. And, and we go, we overthrow, we, we overthrow and we leave. But what did we do? We left bases in, uh, we left bases in the, the Gulf state, the, you know, the, or, or rich companies, countries. And then this is just like, I, I need to, I need to talk on facts. We could talk about nine 11 and like the Jews did nine 11, but like that doesn't, that doesn't get us anywhere. If we start just talking about conspiracy, all you do is you get down these fucking rabbit holes. So we go, we put all-

• 2:28:05Shawn Ryan?

  It's also, it's also not a conspiracy that Baron Adelson pumped 300 million dollars.

• 2:28:12Speaker 02

  Well, I'm getting there. I'm, we're getting there. So now we're right after, we're right after the first Iraq invasion. We leave, we, we fucking leave, we leave them in power, we fucking leave. We leave bases all over the Middle East now, right? And we did it as a security agreement. Here, we want oil to flow. Here's our bases. You buy this, you strengthen our dollar. The fucking, the Jew loves it, that Israel loves it because we have bases there, we're stronger. Nine 11 happens. The accepted theory for nine 11 is Osama bin Laden and a lot of Saudis, by the way, not just, not just him. I mean, it's pretty obvious that he had help from the Saudi government. Pissed off, he, I mean, he wrote, true or not?

• 2:28:56Speaker 02

  He wrote that like, we have bases there. He was pissed off that we're in these holy cities. He want to go, and he's also pissed off because Israel, because we give a fuck ton of money to Israel. And we were normalizing relationships with them. So he's pissed off. We, he has, we, there's a foreign nation occupying his country. We are giving a metric fuck ton of money to Israel to go, to go, you know, illegal occupation, to go commit genocide, to go create war. So he goes, and this is just the accepted theory. We can't talk about conspiracy. We're just talking about what we know. So he goes, you know, gets a bunch of Saudi nationals, flies a, flies a building, plane in a building. He says, hey, well, you guys have occupied my place. You give Israel this, this is my way of striking you back.

• 2:29:42Speaker 02

  So, and this is where like America starts kind of going off the fucking deep end where like it's kind of more harder to like, it's kind of harder now to like put pieces together because weird shit's happening even more now. So we go and we invade Afghanistan. We go and we invade Afghanistan. We, we, we start fighting the Taliban. You're like, for what? For what? You know, Israel loves it. Israel loves it. We have more bases there. We have more footprint. And then all of a sudden you have the Israeli lobby. And this is where like, and, and this is to me, if you want to identify a point in history when Israel became the known bad guy, was the second invasion of Iraq. Because you had, this is where like the fucking mass came off.

• 2:30:26Speaker 02

  And you had Bibi on front of everybody saying, no, there's weapons of mass destruction. They have fucking nukes, you guys. Like, they got, they got chemical weapons. They gas the curves like, and off that alone, we use it. Hey, you know, the Israelis are saying that, that WMDs. All the intelligence community is saying you have WMDs.

• 2:30:45Shawn Ryan?

  Actually, we went in anyways. And so I brought in this guy, Pete Blaber. He was a Colonel, um, at Delta that kind of led the invasion. And we just had this episode. It was 12 hours long.

• 2:31:02Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 2:31:03Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. And so we, he got, so they asked Delta to do, you know, whatever surveillance. And then they found the WMD factory.

• 2:31:16Shawn Ryan?

  There's this big air thing on top of a building that is that's that's um

• 2:31:22Shawn Ryan?

  whatever a uh a uh whatever an air purifier. I can't I can't I'm having a brain thing right now but whatever the big uh the air purification system.

• 2:31:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, chemical weapons, so they have.

• 2:31:34Shawn Ryan?

  And then on the side, they've got here's a big missile. We see it. We could see it in the imagery. The imagery back then wasn't like it is today. And then they see, you know, the century guard that's outside guarding the the facility. And they get this out to Delta. And Pete says to him, hey, and if I'm if I'm messing any of this up, you can go watch the episode and correct me, but this is the basis. And they have so they get it to Pete's team over at Delta. And Pete tells uh whoever sent it that uh the current administration, we don't want to know

• 2:32:14Shawn Ryan?

  anything of what you guys think this is. We're going to analyze it ourselves and and and and we'll get you. We don't want to be influenced with your with what you have to say.

• 2:32:25Shawn Ryan?

  The air purification system on the roof wound up being an air conditioning unit.

• 2:32:30Shawn Ryan?

  The missile on the side of the building wound up being a water tank, a big water truck. Because they're in the middle of the desert and that's how they get water. They have to bring in the water and pump it in. And the century outside of the building was just a guy taking a piss. And then they sent that intelligence back.

• 2:32:55Shawn Ryan?

  Totally disregarded it. And a couple of days later, Colin Powell is going over the exact same imagery and saying that we're going to go invade Iraq.

• 2:33:02Speaker 02

  So again, same thing with the Gulf of Tonga incident. You have an Israeli lobby, you have a military industrial complex, and you have rich businessmen that push and push this. So it's like, it's not like there there is no like group of elites pulling strings. Like this is like you have wealthy people that benefit off these things. This is why it happens. It's like this is why it happens. There's no like, there's no secret cabal pushing this. You have, hey, military industrial complex Boeing, you have Israel, yeah, fuck Iraq. Let's go take this guy out. This is going to be good for us. Take this out. And then it fucking happens. And this is how it happens. And it's not, it's not that they're the

• 2:33:41Speaker 02

  the government is compromised on so many fucking levels from like the military industrial complex to Israel to lobbyists. Like the the government is so compromised that the only thing that would fix the government is if either like you elected a radical uh person or or a revolution or a violent revolution. There's nothing else that will fix it. It is they are ticks and they're embedded in Trump and everybody else. I mean, even like, man, even Iran, dude, I like. I think too, a lot of the newer newer generation, they don't know what it was like to grow up in the nineties. I mean, it was just like, we were in fucking every year of my life, we're in war.

• 2:34:18Speaker 02

  We're in some war every year of my life, we're in a war. And our and our grand and our parents, they just didn't know any better because they didn't have the information that we had. So they would all they would see in Fox News is like, yeah, Saddam Hussein, he has nukes, he's gonna fucking kill us, or he has chemical weapons, he's gonna kill us. And they didn't have like, they didn't have the information that we have. So like, it's up to like us push back. And like, this is why you do such a great service because you're pushing back. But I just don't think it does anybody a service when you start getting in the the realm of conspiracy, when you don't need conspiracy to prove a point. It's a military industrial complex. It's lobbyists. It's Marian Adelson. It's the Israeli AIPAC. They're just they've infected the government. Like, it's that it's that simple.

• 2:35:05Speaker 02

  There there's no like, there's.

• 2:35:06Shawn Ryan?

  I think it's a little bit of all of it.

• 2:35:08Speaker 02

  But it's a little bit of all of it, but what.

• 2:35:09Shawn Ryan?

  But I'm not gonna, I don't get once I've once I've once I

• 2:35:15Shawn Ryan?

  think I know what it is, or I'm ninety nine percent sure I know what it is, I quit digging because

• 2:35:23Shawn Ryan?

  you throw a speculative narrative out. That's a new term I got the other day instead of conspiracy theory because

• 2:35:33Shawn Ryan?

  because those conspiracy theory is a is a new idea, you know, and and and I don't think you should necessarily discredit new ideas or speculative narratives.

• 2:35:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, but people like Candace.

• 2:35:47Shawn Ryan?

  It doesn't fit a a a certain agenda. It's something that should be looked into. And once it's disproven, then you disprove it. You don't just label it.

• 2:35:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, but again, what it is, you're identifying patterns like you're identifying patterns and you're drawing conclusions that aren't that like just because things align, there's patterns, it doesn't mean there's like, it doesn't mean there's some a puppeteer. There's patterns all over the world, the government, and there's no puppeteer. So like what Candace, what I think she fucks up on and like, we're talking about the big voices, like she's saying there's a puppeteer. You have interests that are aligned together. Eight like.

• 2:36:24Shawn Ryan?

  Well, those are multiple puppeteers.

• 2:36:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I mean, they're not really puppeteers because they just want what they want. Israel wants.

• 2:36:32Shawn Ryan?

  That's a puppeteer.

• 2:36:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's like, it's pretty obvious. Like Israel wants to Israel wants to control Gaza. They want the greater Israel. Like there is no anytime you ever talk to Israeli and they let their fucking guard down, I'm sure you have. They want the greater Israel, the illegal settlements. They they like, if you ever talk to someone from Israel and they let their and a lot of them don't, but if they let their guard down for a second,

• 2:36:57Speaker 02

  you're very aware of what they want. Like, have you ever have you ever experienced that? I train I know a lot of Israelis. That's why I'm saying every now and then they'll let their guard down. Like, they'll be like, they think they're in a safe place. And all of a sudden, they let their guard down. Then like, oh, damn, like, yeah, you you're about that life. And I never experienced that.

• 2:37:16Shawn Ryan?

  Nah.

• 2:37:20Speaker 02

  But you know, like, but I mean, I mean, I could conclude this thought with like

• 2:37:26Speaker 02

  Candace Owens does such a bad job and she divides so many people. And this is why, like, even me, was I said, like, I I I think that we should question the Charlie Kirk thing. I really do. I I think we should always question. You should question everything. But when Candace is going there and like like saying like connecting these dots and making these things of like the pager, the this, the that, the that. All you're doing is splintering the fact the matter is. The fact of the matter is is you you're just you're you. The fact is that a fucking tranny lost his mind, shot Charlie. There's no Israel conspiracy. There's no Israel lobby. You don't need that conspiracy to say that AIPAC is bad. They don't even need that involvement.

• 2:38:11Speaker 02

  AIPAC is bad. AIPAC is bad for America. They lobby.

• 2:38:14Shawn Ryan?

  I understand what you're saying. I mean, you you're basically, you're saying that, you know, that what's happening is extremely divisive and and it can almost be discrediting. But I think I think, like I said, I think Candace is on to some things. I don't agree with everything she says. I don't I don't think I even need to say that. But I do think that uh at heart Candace is trying to do the right thing and.

• 2:38:40Speaker 02

  Oh, you think she believes it? You don't think she's doing an Alex Jones skit?

• 2:38:43Shawn Ryan?

  I think that uh she's she was very close with Charlie and that really hurt her. And that she wants to figure out what the hell this is all about and why certain things don't make sense.

• 2:38:54Speaker 02

  I also find I also find it so awkward, like Ben Shapiro and fucking all like, all these right wing influencers are like raising their hand like, I know what Charlie wanted. I was his best friend. Like, to me, like, I can't wrap my head around people using this guy's death is like a.

• 2:39:11Shawn Ryan?

  No.

• 2:39:12Speaker 02

  And and I know she's close with, I know her and like Charlie were close. But like, when you're always like, these are the text messages. We used to sex like, I'm just saying, like, like, it's like, what are you doing, dude? Like, just let the fucking guy die. Like, move the fuck on. And again, I I think you should question it, and I'm happy people are questioning it, but

• 2:39:32Speaker 02

  when the average American hears a shit like Candace Owens says, they're not like, it pushes them away from it. You're like, whoa, wait a minute. But like me, when I tell you, hey, when I when I explained to you why AIPAC, why Marilyn Adelson is bad, why George Soros is bad for America. I could I could articulate it and I could explain to you in a way that you can grasp it and say, hey, yeah, you know what? Maybe we should just shouldn't vote for AIPAC candidates. Maybe George Soros isn't the best. Maybe uh maybe Marilyn Adelson giving Trump a like, or maybe AIPAC giving Trump, you know, three hundred million dollars is not good. And maybe that is why

• 2:40:10Speaker 02

  Trump was forced or manipulated to Iran because when you take the military industrial complex, you take Israel, you take all the donations. You take the people in his inner circle. I could see how they can manipulate him into doing this, which is good for big business in oil. I could see how that happens. And if you could dissect that and make it rational and you could unpack it. Now you could start identifying, okay, well, Marilyn Adelson's bad. AIPAC is bad. The military industrial complex is bad. But you don't have to go so far as to make it seem like some crazy fucking thing. Because the moment you go in that water, you lose a mass portion of the same country.

• 2:40:49Speaker 02

  The moment you start telling them all this shit like, oh, dude, like nine eleven, fucking the Jews did nine eleven. I don't care if they did or didn't. The moment you tell a big portion of this country that happened, they're gone. They're fucking out. You you gotta break it down and present it in a more more dida dida diddesh diddeshable way, you know what I'm saying? And Candace doesn't.

• 2:41:09Shawn Ryan?

  Best way to do things is to present people with information and let them make their own decisions.

• 2:41:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, but people are fucking stupid, though, dude. Like, I I I know, like, like, people are so fucking stupid. Like when I when I try to explain like economics and legal immigration to people, to these liberals, and I'm I'm telling them how much hard it's made their life. They say, well, yeah, but Trump is bad. Orange man's bad. People are fucking stupid, dude. But you also can't blame people for being stupid. Like me and you, dude, we have jobs. We don't have a fucking job. Like, this is your job. Your job is to go online and research and look shit up and talk to people. You think the guy doing an average eight hour job, doing construction, going home to his fucking wife, you know, going, she's working to two kids. You think that motherfuckers going on Reddit forums and looking at YouTube and trying to figure out? No, he doesn't.

• 2:41:57Shawn Ryan?

  Just trying to get through the day.

• 2:41:59Speaker 02

  Trying to get through the fucking day. Like, when you go talk to real rednecks, they don't give a fuck about anything, dude. They just like, dude, I just got done working. I want to go hunt.

• 2:42:08Shawn Ryan?

  No.

• 2:42:08Speaker 02

  Like, I don't give a fuck about this. I'm sick of my I don't want my oil like the the orange man said that my I would have a better way of life. I fucking voted for him. You know, so but and so when I say people are stupid, I'm saying you cannot be informed.

• 2:42:22Shawn Ryan?

  Or being misled.

• 2:42:23Speaker 02

  And be a normal person. So when you have people like Candace go and have these like fucking and do Candace, by the way, she's fucking crushing. She looks at you all fucking stone eyed, dude, all fucking wide eyed. She's like, let me tell you. And you was like, damn Candace, like, yeah, I believe it, dude. The fucking Jews killed Charlie. Like, you fucking sold me Candace. She looks at you all straight faced with her fucking makeup. This done perfectly. You're like, damn, yeah, Candace.

• 2:42:50Shawn Ryan?

  Have you met her?

• 2:42:51Speaker 02

  No, no, I'm sure I like her though.

• 2:42:53Shawn Ryan?

  You should meet her. I'll link you guys together.

• 2:42:56Speaker 02

  Well, I just don't know. I don't know if she's doing the Alex Jones thing where like Alex Jones, I think believes it, but he like created a character like, are you creating a character that you know sells? Because imagine like in this day and age too, you're one of the few people that excel by not being um, a clown. And I don't mean that Candace is a clown, but I mean, you know, you do have some really fucking crazy takes. But like, imagine if Candace just prevented, she's a, she's appealing to those fucking radical conspiracy theorists incels. And say they're only like a fraction of the percent of America, but if you could have one dollar from a fraction of the percent of America,

• 2:43:35Speaker 02

  you've made a fuck ton of money. So you're appealing to these like, these kind of like, oh, I yeah, dude, I'm on the Reddit. Like you're appealing to these and you're just like, and I just find it like, you're making money, but it's like, it's wrong. It's not wrong. It's just like, maybe she does believe you. I don't know, dude. Maybe she does. I don't fucking know, dude.

• 2:43:55Shawn Ryan?

  I'll link you guys together. You guys sort this shit out.

• 2:43:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, we could, we could shoot some guns, bro.

• 2:44:00Shawn Ryan?

  Let me take, well, let's come, let's take a break, come back, talk a little bit about fighting and then go blow some shit up.

• 2:44:09Shawn Ryan?

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• 2:45:29Shawn Ryan?

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• 2:45:39Speaker 02

  Now I've always wondered how I would do, and I think I'd do fucking horribly. But how I would do, like, say you were in like, we had to clear this house and we had to like, and be in a gunfight. And I think like, like, I know I could shoot well, but I'd never been shot at. And I think that's what separates like the boys from the fucking men, right? Cause you've been shot at a lot. You know what it's like to have bullets whizzed by your fucking head. Like you know what that's like. I don't know what that's like. So like you go shoot a fucking piece of cardboard all day long and you could clear a fucking room.

• 2:46:10Shawn Ryan?

  I remember the first time I got shot at, I didn't even know what the hell was going on.

• 2:46:15Shawn Ryan?

  We were, we were in Iraq and we were setting up these, we were setting up a bunch of different sniper positions and uh, so I was a point man and we went and we cleared this whole building, which wound up being big and, and then me and my buddy went up to the rooftop to get a vantage point. This is like two, three o'clock in the morning. And we're on nods and we're up there like, we, I used to chew to that. I used to chew, you know, dip. So up there having a dip, just talking about how we can't wait for it all to go down. And

• 2:46:54Shawn Ryan?

  we're just shooting the shit and we're like tactics had go, it was a dumb ass thing. We're just standing there on a fucking rooftop. So anybody could see our silhouette, but there was no moon. There was no, so I guess you wouldn't really see a silhouette. Anyways, whatever, we shouldn't have been doing that.

• 2:47:09Shawn Ryan?

  And I remember we're sitting there talking

• 2:47:13Shawn Ryan?

  and

• 2:47:16Shawn Ryan?

  I thought there was a billboard above me and it's, it, it sounded like somebody was taking like a yardstick and smacking the billboard. Like it was like, like that, like a snap.

• 2:47:27Speaker 02

  Round hitting the round.

• 2:47:28Shawn Ryan?

  And I'm like, what the hell? I'm like, what the hell is that noise? Who's smacking the billboard above us? And we look up and there's no fucking, there's no billboard. I'm like, holy shit.

• 2:47:39Speaker 02

  Is that whizzing by or is that crack in the side of the building?

• 2:47:42Shawn Ryan?

  No, no, that's the crack. When it goes, when it goes over your head, that's the crack you hear. You just hear the snap like a

• 2:47:48Speaker 02

  If you've ever been in like a gunfight, like, you know, I always say like, what, like what separates the SEALs is like they create conditions to win. Like if you look at every time a SEAL, like any, any, at least a publicized SEAL operations, they, they created the condition to win. Like the Osama Laden raid, like that was a, they created the perfect condition. If you've ever been in a gunfight where like, a legit, legitimate, like you're on one side of a, like a legitimate, like I'm looking at you, you have a gun, I have a gun. And you're in a gunfight.

• 2:48:19Shawn Ryan?

  I've never been in a situation where I've been point blank distance to somebody and they had a gun and I had a gun.

• 2:48:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, like not point blank, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, we're, I'm about to get into like, like you see a cop shootout where you're like, I could see this motherfucker. He's shooting at me. I'm hitting reload, returning fire at him. Like maybe like a thirty, forty yard engagement.

• 2:48:40Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. I don't think we shot anybody.

• 2:48:48Shawn Ryan?

  Especially on that deployment, everybody was within fifty yards.

• 2:48:51Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 2:48:52Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. Yeah, I remember one time, uh,

• 2:49:00Shawn Ryan?

  one time we were, it was rural Iraq and we were, we were like ghillied up in the bushes and shit.

• 2:49:09Shawn Ryan?

  In this town that was like, I don't know, a hundred and fifty yards south of us was black, black, it was a black site, a black town, which means no, no US personnel could go in, fly over, do any of that. And they were basically, what these guys were doing was they would come out and they would um, blow up all the main supply routes, the MSR routes. And so, and these poor army guys just kept getting killed. I mean, it was like every week, you know, more and more of them were getting killed and they couldn't figure out how to take care of it. So they brought us in. And uh, you know, we did like an assessment and some surveillance and, and we'd set up all these hide sites along this MSR road, main supply route.

• 2:49:53Shawn Ryan?

  And ghillied up and we had, we were so well hidden, we had goats, like local goat herders. Their goats were coming up and like eating the hay that we had put into our ghillie suits.

• 2:50:06Shawn Ryan?

  And we spent, I don't know, twenty-four hours there. I think everybody, I think every time we went out, we got the guys within twenty-four hours. And so here's the road. And so we were set up kind of on the side of the road. There was three or four sites, you know, where snipers were. And then we have like, kind of like a command element. They call it the C two element back here. That's kind of um, they're in charge of the, they're like the, the command element. And they had had a goat herder or not goat herders. They had a line of five guys walk right behind them with AKs and um,

• 2:50:47Shawn Ryan?

  um, bombs. They were going to shovels, AKs, bombs.

• 2:50:52Shawn Ryan?

  And they're like, oh shit, like here they come. And they're, they're like walked right over the top of my buddies. Like, like, like right behind them, walked right over the top of them. Here's the road. They start digging on the road.

• 2:51:09Shawn Ryan?

  And dude, I don't know how they didn't see us, but, and I didn't, I didn't shoot on this one because I didn't have those visibility. But uh, all of a sudden I just heard all this gunfire and I was like, oh shit, like we're suppressed. Yeah. You know, we're, and I was like, we couldn't get anybody on the radio. It was like, what the fuck's going on? What happened? And um, no response, no response. And so me and my sniper partner are like back to back and we're like, all right, like this is it. I guess everybody's dead and um, like they obviously know we're here, so they're going to wind up getting online and that whole, that this village was like, like I said, it's only a hundred and fifty yards.

• 2:51:54Shawn Ryan?

  I'm like, they're going to wind up getting online and just clearing through this whole valley or burning us out of here. They'll burn that, the, the field out to chase us out of here. And I remember thinking like, well, we're just going to die. Like, so we'll just take as many of these fuckers out as we can. And um,

• 2:52:12Shawn Ryan?

  And then uh my buddy uh he owns a company now called Gorilla Vanilla Security. Or Vanilla Gorilla Security or some shit. His name's Ben Wallach and uh he comes over the radio and he just goes, holy shit, we just killed the fuck out of those guys. And I was like, I was, I mean, that was like the best fucking feeling in the world. And uh so what had happened is the unsuppressed shots uh I guess was them and then we had some army guys. The like regular infantry army guys that we had brought out to train with us. Like we were like, hey, this is how we do business. We want to pass this knowledge on to you. So that we can move on to the next unit.

• 2:52:57Speaker 02

  That wasn't so so for them, I'd hang out with you guys?

• 2:53:00Shawn Ryan?

  Eighteen year old kid, man, got his first kill that day, but what had happened was um. These guys were, they had planted the bombs and then our guys, we started shooting them. And.

• 2:53:16Speaker 02

  And you're just like, you're just, you're just fucking.

• 2:53:18Shawn Ryan?

  Well, they thought, they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road. Because they had just walked this whole distance and walked right over the guys. So they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road. So they, when they, when they tried to retreat, they ran right back at us. And we're using green tip at the time. Do you know green tip?

• 2:53:40Speaker 02

  And they like for like a armor?

• 2:53:41Shawn Ryan?

  Armor piercing rounds. We're using green tip at the time and the guys did not even realize they were getting shot.

• 2:53:48Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 2:53:49Shawn Ryan?

  You could just see like the shoulders flinging back and running and it, they got so close. They had to come out of the weeds, like out of the bushes, stand up and start engaging that way. And then they, they, eventually they dropped. And then we switched to, we switched from green tip. We started using seventy seven green.

• 2:54:08Speaker 02

  Okay, why? Just you wanted more like an impact?

• 2:54:10Shawn Ryan?

  Well, the thing with the green tip is it was just flying right through the bomb. I mean, when you go to look at it, it's like little pinholes. You know what I mean? Like little pinholes and so these got you. But with seventy seven grain hollow tip.

• 2:54:26Speaker 02

  What do you think about the military switching to the bigger round?

• 2:54:30Shawn Ryan?

  Which round?

• 2:54:31Speaker 02

  Are they switching to?

• 2:54:32Shawn Ryan?

  Six point eight?

• 2:54:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:54:35Shawn Ryan?

  Well, you want to shoot it? Cause I got it out there.

• 2:54:37Speaker 02

  My biggest thing dude, like I'm not a fucking war guy, but like you could watch Ukraine, like dude, right now, I mean, like you want to go watch fucking war, like it's, it's live stream, which is fucking a crazy time to be alive, right? Like you're literally war being live stream. It generally looks like for the average Joe, you're just putting rounds down range. So it's like, why do you want to give guys less rounds that go like marginally farther? And like, it doesn't make sense to me.

• 2:54:59Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I mean, what we started doing then.

• 2:55:02Speaker 02

  For you it does, for like a SEAL guy that actually is like precision.

• 2:55:05Shawn Ryan?

  Well, it's also a lot heavier, you know what I mean? And so we'll, we'll take that six point eight out. And it's amazing. It's punching through the range. It's punching through those railroad ties that are at the back of the wall.

• 2:55:18Speaker 02

  I got it.

• 2:55:18Shawn Ryan?

  Which is insane.

• 2:55:19Speaker 02

  I got a story like, so I'm, I'm cutting weight in my first title fight. And like dude, for some reason.

• 2:55:24Shawn Ryan?

  Say that again?

• 2:55:25Speaker 02

  My, my first title fight in Australia, I'm cutting weight to fight Izzy. And dude, for some reason the weight is not coming off, like it's just not fucking coming off and like. There's something like, there's something so miserable about cutting weight and I'm sure like.

• 2:55:41Speaker 02

  Like you're in a sauna and you're just like, everything is telling you, you gotta get out, like there's a part of you, it's like, man, if I die right now, I'm cool. Like this is cool, dude. Like fuck this, I'm over this. Like I'm good. I mean, there, there's a misery to it that I wish people experienced because it's kind of awesome. So. Security, you, she always hires me security. I hit, I fucking, I hit a fan. And then uh after that, dude, they like, there's not security for me, it's security for other people. Cause they're like, someone thinks some station Sean, he's again a fight and the fight's gonna get canceled, so I always have security now.

• 2:56:14Speaker 02

  But uh, so I'm sitting there in this fucking sauna and I talked to my buddy Luke and I guess like, I don't know what he was, but he was like the um. Equivalent to like a Navy SEAL in Australia. He like, he was telling me about like the school he went to, he was locked in a fucking box for a few days. Like.

• 2:56:30Shawn Ryan?

  SAS guy.

• 2:56:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, something like that. So anyways, Luke, one of the coolest guy, you want to talk about somebody who has like a, a deep fucking. Passion for murder. To tell you something about Luke, we're walking down and he's a really like buttoned up, like big, strong Australian man. Definitely smiled, didn't really joke. And he was talking to a, a story about how like. His buddy didn't murder somebody and it was the only time I seen him show like expression of disappointment. That like he had an opportunity to murder like a bad guy and he didn't do it. And like Luke was like, fuck pussy. And I was like, all right, Luke. So anyways, I'm in a sauna, I'm cutting fucking weight, I'm miserable. And I say, hey Luke, what's something miserable you've done?

• 2:57:14Speaker 02

  Like, you know, like talk to us, Luke, I want to know about you, man. Like tell me something miserable, like tell me the most miserable you've been in life. And I was expecting like when I said that question, I was wanting him to say like. Oh, well, one time, you know, I was locked in a box in training and like some fucking Asian bitch was like smacking my ass with a fucking, you know, I heard that story later. Was smacking me with a whip. No, that wasn't the story I got. He was like, well, Sean, let me tell you. I was in Afghanistan once. And I go, fuck dude, so that's not the story I wanted to hear. And he goes. We were driving and our convoy got hit with an RPG. And I'm wearing my translator all over me, I'm just covered in him.

• 2:57:56Speaker 02

  He goes, we get out because we're in Mobile and we have to hike like five kilometers or fuck that is, you know, freedom math. And he goes, and then as we're hiking, we're laying in the ditch, taking fire and I'm covered in the blood of my translator. And I remember laying there holding my gun as like we're in this firefight that I'm, I'm okay to like, today's the day I'm gonna die, but I'm, I'm at peace with it. Like I'm, I am so miserable, this is so bad that like, if I die here, like I'm okay with this. And I like, me and all these fighters, dude, we're sitting there just cutting weight like fucking speechless as this guy's telling us this like, and he said it like. I'm saying it as a joke, but he's saying like, I mean, he's like bearing his soul in this story. And we're all cutting weight like.

• 2:58:40Speaker 02

  Just like jaws open, like, yeah, dude, like, what do I say to that? Like, I'm a fucking pussy. Like, I get it, dude, all right. Point proven, zip up the fucking sauna, dude, I'm gonna shut the fuck up now, I'm a fucking pussy. Like point proven. But like when you, when you hear some stories that people gone through, oh my God, dude.

• 2:58:59Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 2:59:00Speaker 02

  But even, even like the Ukraine war, like you're watching, there's a video online of a guy getting in a knife fight, you see that?

• 2:59:05Shawn Ryan?

  No.

• 2:59:05Speaker 02

  Literally like two guys, GoPro and knife fight. And like the last thing as he dies is like, kind of like. You did good. And like, I mean, it's fucking wild. Like the Ukraine war. Being, being televised or being livestreamed. I mean, I can't wrap my head around that. Like you go on YouTube right now and you can watch firefights, battle, tank maneuvers, drone footage. It's like, we live in such a fucking crazy world that like. I, I hope it vilifies war even more, but who knows? Yeah, man. So anyways, long story short, I was saying, I really like to get in a gunfight. But hopefully against a SEAL because I think I'd be a little bitch about it, you know, because you watch cops every now and then do a cop will get in a gunfight.

• 2:59:48Speaker 02

  And like a legitimate gunfight where like the guy's getting fire and he's returning fire and he'll fucking put his mag up and he'll hit his reload, he'll rack. And then you watch some guy.

• 2:59:57Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, dude, the thing is like, I've been, look, I don't know if you'll rise to the occasion or not, I would, I would think you would considering what you do.

• 3:00:04Speaker 02

  But you watch some guys that like.

• 3:00:06Shawn Ryan?

  But you mean, when you're fighting, I mean, when, when you're in a fight and you're getting your ass beat. Is there, is there, is there, do you hit a point where you're like?

• 3:00:14Speaker 02

  You don't even think about it.

• 3:00:15Shawn Ryan?

  Where you're like, well, I'm fucking in this now. And so there's no getting out of this. So. Like.

• 3:00:22Speaker 02

  When you know.

• 3:00:24Shawn Ryan?

  There's only one choice. You either keep going or you don't. And you have to make a mental decision. You have to, I'm going to keep going or I'm not. And.

• 3:00:33Speaker 02

  But how do you like the urge to flinch, dude? When you get around fucking, like how, how do you fight that urge like?

• 3:00:39Shawn Ryan?

  It slows down.

• 3:00:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I mean, it's one of those things I, I just don't know if you know, I don't know if you're that kind of, have you ever seen a SEAL? Have you ever seen a SEAL in a gunfight and be a little like. Like, I don't want to say like, I don't want to say pussy dude, because you're not, you're a SEAL in a gunfight, but have you ever, have you ever been with a SEAL and you got in a gunfight and you're like.

• 3:01:02Speaker 02

  You're right, dude?

• 3:01:04Shawn Ryan?

  Mm hmm.

• 3:01:05Speaker 02

  No shit.

• 3:01:08Shawn Ryan?

  It happens at all levels, man.

• 3:01:10Speaker 02

  And they just like, what is it just more of like they get flinchy, they get like more of like, I don't wanna fucking like, I don't wanna pop my head around the corner?

• 3:01:17Shawn Ryan?

  You mean like straight froze? No, no. I've seen people freeze. I've seen people hide in bathtubs. I've seen.

• 3:01:26Shawn Ryan?

  I've seen it all, you know, but I mean, a lot of times first time, you know, it's.

• 3:01:32Speaker 02

  I think that's the benefit of experience, right? You've been in a lot of fucking gunfights. So like, you're probably really comfortable if somebody's shooting at you. It's as comfortable as you can be.

• 3:01:41Shawn Ryan?

  It's, I mean, I used to say I'd rather be face down in a ditch with bullets flying over me than public speaking. So that was home to me. Now it's not. Now I wonder how I would, uh, now, now I wonder like, how, how would I react after all these years?

• 3:01:56Speaker 02

  When I was younger, dude, I almost killed somebody. I mean, I was like seconds away from murdering this guy.

• 3:02:03Speaker 02

  It was a party and, um, my buddy invited me over. And, um, fucking, so he like, I'm at, I'm at this party. It's kind of a weird party. I never really wanna be there. It's kind of strange with people. They're weird. So my buddy starts wrestling me and like, I kind of hit him with a hip toss and he puts his fucking, and I wasn't, I was younger, bro. I mean, I, I literally wanted to die. Like I had a death wish. So I, he puts a hole in the wall. Girl comes downstairs and says, uh, says, hey, you gotta pay for it. And I, I, at this moment, I'm like apologetic. Hey, sorry, dude. My bad. Like I was like 18 years old. Like I didn't do it. He did it. I'll leave, but I'm not paying for it. Comes downstairs again as I'm walking towards the door.

• 3:02:43Speaker 02

  Say, you know what? My boyfriend says you have to, but she had it. She said it in a way of like fear and threatening. Like she was fearful, but she also was like threatening me. And I was like, well, no, you wanna tell your boyfriend, if he wants to come fucking pay for it, you can come down and suck my dick and earn it. I said, no, dude, this fucking guy, this guy fucking come downstairs with a 12 gauge shotgun. Boom, racks it. Fucking idiot put too close to my head. So I put my hands up, right? And the door is like over there. I'm like, dude, like, man, like, and I, I knew in my head, like I knew what I was gonna do. Like I was either gonna die here right now, or I was gonna fuck this guy up. So I put my hands up. I'm like, dude, I'm so sorry, man. Like I'm like looking down like, I'm so sorry, dude. Just like, so let me go home, let me go home.

• 3:03:23Speaker 02

  And like I fucking, he's like, call me a fucking pussy. Boom. I grabbed the guy and just started fucking drilling him in the face. I remember there was a piece of drywall and I started grabbing his head, just slamming his head through the drywall. I didn't hit a stud, but, but a hole. Balls down. I, he's now like, he's on his knees now after his head and I fucking push kick him, take the shotgun out. And I'm like, fucking up. As I present it to fucking, fucking put a round in him, his fucking girlfriend. Thank fucking God. Cause I'm, I'm not beating that case. I'm not beating that charge. Girlfriend jumps on top of him and starts begging for his life. And I think about this girl all the time because like, if it wasn't for her jumping on top and begging for his life.

• 3:04:07Speaker 02

  Again, institutionalized.

• 3:04:09Shawn Ryan?

  Shut dude.

• 3:04:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. So it's like, it's kind of weird, dude. I mean, yeah. So going back to like gunfights, I think when, I think when you're in it and you're resigned to it and you're just real focused, like there's nothing you can't do or like over, you can overcome. Oh, and to answer your question, when you're in a fight and you're getting a little bit shit kicked out of you and you know you're gonna lose. You just tell yourself. One, I don't wanna get finished. I'm not gonna be a bitch. And two, maybe I get lucky. The only thing you're thinking about is like, maybe I could get lucky. It only takes one.

• 3:04:38Shawn Ryan?

  So you still have the will to fight.

• 3:04:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, like I know I'm not gonna win. I know I've lost every round. Maybe I get lucky. Just put your hands up and maybe you get lucky.

• 3:04:51Shawn Ryan?

  Have you gotten lucky?

• 3:04:52Speaker 02

  Uh, no, I've got the shit kicked out. I'm not, it's gonna be the shit kicked out of me. No, I just continue to get the shit kicked out of me.

• 3:05:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no, never do. Yeah, no.

• 3:05:05Shawn Ryan?

  What is your mindset when you walk into a fight? Actually, hold on, before we move on.

• 3:05:11Shawn Ryan?

  You know, Sean, I'm a fan. And I need you to sign something, but it's probably not gonna be the typical thing you sign. I love that you got kicked out of Trump's 80th birthday party.

• 3:05:22Speaker 02

  Oh, let's go, man.

• 3:05:24Shawn Ryan?

  I'm gonna use the show as the, uh. Certificate of authenticity.

• 3:05:30Speaker 02

  Actually, by the way, you know, I, I joke, these guys, they did detain me and they did like, they did trespass me and I don't think they even charged me, but these guys, these marshals saved my fucking life.

• 3:05:40Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, when I saw that, I was like, holy shit. I'll bet those dudes loved to do with that.

• 3:05:45Speaker 02

  Oh dude, they, they, they saved my fucking life. So like, what people don't understand is when you're in a crowd.

• 3:05:54Speaker 02

  Like, I mean, sure, if you've done security and you work crowds, like.

• 3:05:58Shawn Ryan?

  Thank you.

• 3:05:59Speaker 02

  You understand how people die. Let's go, dude. Yeah. By the way, those, those marshals, so like. If you guys are watching, man, thank you. You, you guys saved my fucking life.

• 3:06:10Shawn Ryan?

  They're watching.

• 3:06:10Speaker 02

  So.

• 3:06:13Speaker 02

  So dude, when you're in a crowd, the first time I was in a crowd and I've experienced this, I was at a UFC fan expo. And I just thought it was like gay and lame. I didn't wanna do it. So I walked in the crowd like, this is fucking gay. I wanna go fight a fan or do something fun. And then like they start forming around you and you're like, everything just like, there's a wall of people around you. And I remember telling this guy, hey dude, like back the fuck up. And like, he had so much fear on his face. Cause he couldn't back up. Because he's in this crowd of a wall of people. He's like, dude, I can't. And at that moment, you're like, oh man, I understand how people die in a crowd. So what happened is I was like, once I snuck in, I was like, and I'm gonna try to be like real, like undercover. And then once I was made by the fans.

• 3:06:56Speaker 02

  Like if, if I didn't jump in that ring, people would have died. You're talking about thousands of people would gather around you and they start pushing and pushing and pushing. And then you create this wall of fucking people. So when I jumped in the ring, it was like, this is the only place I could go where I walk and die.

• 3:07:12Shawn Ryan?

  Wow.

• 3:07:12Speaker 02

  Because right as elevated their sides. So.

• 3:07:17Speaker 02

  I was like, well, at least I'm safe in this, in this ring. And then once the marshals came to get me out, I mean, we, they were fighting people back. Like they were shoving people, checking people that like. If it wasn't for them, somebody could have died by me being there. And I mean, I feel like an asshole in the process, but I didn't even think about that. I was like, I'm just gonna hide in and walk. But like crowds, man, they're, so those marshals, we're talking about these big corn fetted fucking people, dude. They were just checking fans, dragging people out. I'm shoving fans off me. So yeah, if it wasn't for them, dude, somebody would have died. They, they a hundred percent saved someone's life that day.

• 3:07:52Shawn Ryan?

  Shit.

• 3:07:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Have you ever been in the middle of a crowd?

• 3:07:54Shawn Ryan?

  Oh yeah. Bunch of times.

• 3:07:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like.

• 3:07:56Shawn Ryan?

  It's just, it, it's like, that's the scariest shit.

• 3:08:00Speaker 02

  You take one.

• 3:08:00Shawn Ryan?

  You can't, you can't identify, but there's so many people.

• 3:08:04Speaker 02

  But for me, it's more the, like you take one person that weighs a hundred and 50 pounds, 200 pounds. Now you add a thousand of them pushing on each other. You create this wall. That's why people like get trampled and suffocate in crowds. Like you just fucking die. But yeah, those marshals, man, they, they fucking saved my life, dude. So anyways. That's awesome. Marshals. Thank you, guys.

• 3:08:23Shawn Ryan?

  What happened there? I gotta know the story. So, you know, so when I frame this and put it in the studio.

• 3:08:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. So Trump, uh, the UFC was like, hey, you know, you wanna go. You wanna go, I wanna go to the fight. So I bought tickets. So my girl's family's up there. I had to go tell them something. So I, I already planned the trips. Like, you know, I'll just make a fucking detour. So I made a detour and then Hunter called me and was like, hey, you know. You didn't get cleared, man. Sorry. Like the White House wouldn't clear you. And mind you, I, of course it didn't fucking clear me. I was shocked and. I was shocked when Hunter said I could go in the first place. But yeah, of course I'm looking at my fucking tweets like. Yeah, you're not gonna fucking clear me. Let me go. So I wasn't surprised, right?

• 3:09:09Speaker 02

  But then I told the UFC, well, like dude, at least let me go to the fan fest. Like let, let me go to like to the gates and like go hang out with fans. Like I'm already there. Like. Let me go say what's up. And the UFC fucking boom. I was like, hey, you know, like, why don't you guys just give me like some security? So I could go say what's up UFC. Nothing, nothing. And then even my manager reached out to him. He's like, you know, Sean's gonna sneak in and go, right? And like, can you give him security? Like, ah, sorry, we can't.

• 3:09:34Shawn Ryan?

  Damn.

• 3:09:35Speaker 02

  So it's like they, uh, and I still was like, fuck it. I'm still gonna go anyways, you know, but. Yeah, I know the UFC, the Trump administration. I think I was just salty for the UFC because like. Trump blacklisted me from the White House, but the UFC blacklisted me from the whole event. They didn't give me security. Yeah. They didn't give me security. They didn't give me passes. There was like a big fan event where all the fighters went. They don't let me go. But they would have fucking known. And I mean, I don't blame the UFC because I would have been up there with a microphone like, hey, guys. These fucking pedophiles, what are you fucking doing here? Fucking Trump, dude. How many, how many times is your name in the list? So I, I can't blame them, you know?

• 3:10:12Shawn Ryan?

  Are you the one that said, why would I go fight for a bunch of pedophiles?

• 3:10:15Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I think I said like something like that. Like, I, I mean.

• 3:10:20Speaker 02

  So everyone's like, well, why did you want to go? I'm like, dude, I could separate politics and fighting. Like, it's cool. It's at the fucking White House, man. It's a once in a lifetime event. Of course I'd fucking go. But I I don't blame the UFC and I don't blame the White House because fucking Trump's a priest shit and I would have definitely have said that on live TV. And they would have been a big shit show. So I don't blame anybody.

• 3:10:45Shawn Ryan?

  Right on, man.

• 3:10:47Speaker 02

  I I own it. I fucking own it.

• 3:10:50Shawn Ryan?

  I love it. So what are you getting ready for? When are you gonna fight again?

• 3:10:54Speaker 02

  Uh, right now. So I have this AC joint separation. It's not bad, dude. I just need probably a couple more months just to let it heal up. Like, I mean, you'll see me rubbing it right now, just fucking throbbing. But dude, I don't know, man. It's all about money. You know, people talk about like, who's the fight? Who do you want to fight? I don't give a fuck. Just pay me well. I'll fucking fight anybody, dude. I'll go fight. I'll go. I'll go to heavyweight if you pay me well. So

• 3:11:17Speaker 02

  fighting to me is really just a job and I like the fans.

• 3:11:20Shawn Ryan?

  Well, Polly Market's got you is the favorite to still be middleweight champ at the end of 2026. You're leading the odds. How do you see the rest of 2026 playing out?

• 3:11:30Speaker 02

  How do I bet, dude? I should just fucking ride the bench to play 26.

• 3:11:34Shawn Ryan?

  And what are you hoping for?

• 3:11:35Speaker 02

  No, I mean, if my shoulder heals up, I fight. I like fighting, dude. I like even, you know, going back to like the who I am as a person. I am better when I'm in camp. Like, so me being injured out of camp, I'm fucking, dude, like, I'm like, I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing fucking well. Like, I was in Florida. I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing well. I like, I'm trying to create enemies I don't have. I'm trying to pick fights that aren't there. Like, everybody's out to fucking get me right now. And I'm I'm fully aware that like I I'm in limbo because of my injury. So me being in limbo, I'm just like, I just, I'm fucking just spiraling, you know? I'm just like trying to

• 3:12:14Shawn Ryan?

  You don't do well on Idol.

• 3:12:16Speaker 02

  Fuck no, dude. I need to have something to fight. I need to have some kind of misery. I need to have something like, I need to force myself to die. I need to, I need to wake up every day and be like, I want this to be over. That's where I'm at my best. This, where I'm like, you know, whatever I want. I fucking hate this. Yeah, like, start twitching and shit. Let's start fucking twitchy.

• 3:12:36Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, I I hope you start helping kids, man. You could you could have a lot of power for future generations.

• 3:12:44Speaker 02

  My, my girl hates it. She doesn't hate it, but like, I'm like, I'm really fucking twitchy and I hide it so well in public, but like, I'm so fucking, do you have any twitches or like tics or anything like that? So like, sometimes like I think about thoughts a lot and like they make me feel uncomfortable and I don't think I know how to process emotions. So like, honestly, seeing they're having a conversation like fucking like just like twitch. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm like, dude, I can't help it. I can't fucking help it. I try not to. I can't fucking help it.

• 3:13:12Shawn Ryan?

  When does it come out the most? Crowds?

• 3:13:15Speaker 02

  Crowds. A lot of them are

• 3:13:17Shawn Ryan?

  People you don't know?

• 3:13:18Speaker 02

  A lot of them, but also a lot when I'm around my girl, I twitch a lot more around her.

• 3:13:22Shawn Ryan?

  No shit.

• 3:13:22Speaker 02

  Because I think I'm trying to like hide who I am, right? So like, I have all these thoughts in my head. They're like usually really fucked up thoughts, like I feel like, like real fucked up thoughts. So like

• 3:13:34Shawn Ryan?

  You think she doesn't know this?

• 3:13:35Speaker 02

  No, she knows it, but like it makes me so uncomfortable that uh that like I just like, I think it just manifests itself in like a physical reaction. Cause like they saw, I'm looking at my wife and they're so fucking uncomfortable and so fucked up. That like, I think it just manifests itself in a uh in a way. I used to be able, like I still do every now and then, if I really have a bad thought.

• 3:13:58Speaker 02

  And I say bad thought, it could be anything, like a shameful thing I've done, a shameful thing I want to do. I used to just visualize. I say, I say used to, I fucking do it all the time still. But every time I have a thought, you guys try to help you. Every time I have a thought, I can't get it out of my head. I visualize myself shooting myself in the head. And like, I always visualize the same thing. I just like, I'll be talking, I'll be talking to my wife with thought. I'm sorry. I just think about like the slow motion like bullet, just like entering and fracturing and expanding. And I think about the actual visual image of it. And it like, I just focus on that thought, dude. And like, it just blanks me out.

• 3:14:34Shawn Ryan?

  Holy shit.

• 3:14:37Speaker 02

  And then if the thought is and then if the thought's too big and I can't get it out, I'll even just like touch my head a little bit. Just like, and I visualize, once I got put my finger on my head and I could like put my finger on the temple, I could actually like see the trajectory of the bullet coming out. And like, it just blanks my mind right out.

• 3:14:54Shawn Ryan?

  Whoa.

• 3:14:55Speaker 02

  But it just helps, dude. It just helps.

• 3:14:58Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, that is dark.

• 3:14:59Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, it just helps because like you just like, it's such an extreme, like, it's such an extreme visual and mental image. It just all whatever I'm thinking about now and the moment I start focusing on that, it just takes everything away.

• 3:15:16Shawn Ryan?

  Do you think, how'd you meet your wife?

• 3:15:18Speaker 02

  Now, funny enough, dude, we actually met. I mean, this was like

• 3:15:21Shawn Ryan?

  Tinder?

• 3:15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, Tinder, seven years ago.

• 3:15:23Shawn Ryan?

  Bullshit. Are you serious?

• 3:15:25Speaker 02

  But so I wasn't as famous back then, right? I was like, dude, she

• 3:15:27Shawn Ryan?

  Did you really meet her on Tinder?

• 3:15:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, I was just trying to get, but see, I was just trying to get laid, dude. No, I was just trying to get fucking laid. Like, I was trying to get laid.

• 3:15:35Shawn Ryan?

  What was your profile pic?

• 3:15:36Speaker 02

  I don't know, dude. I don't think I really, I think it was just me, like, I think it was me riding a horse or something, dude. And I was like, I tried to make myself look non-threatening, dude. I wanted to be fun, but non-threatening, right? That's what you want, no.

• 3:15:47Shawn Ryan?

  This is me not being a psychopath.

• 3:15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, you don't find out about after you're in the trap. So anyways.

• 3:15:53Shawn Ryan?

  I like horses.

• 3:15:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like horses. Yeah, I'm a good guy. So anyways, I I meet her. And um and I always laugh because if you go back to our first meeting and say, hey, like, you guys are gonna be married one day. We would both look at each other and be like, are you fucking retarded? Like, what the fuck? So my girl, by the way, I had this old shitty Nissan fucked up truck and she sees me. I'm sitting on my truck. And like, she's, dude, she's really together, two degrees. Her dad is like in the go fuck yourself wealthy category. Like, I had to sign a prenup. Like, like, I had to sign a prenup just because you know how rich people work. Like, rich people put assets in different names. So it's like the dad was like, you're not letting this motherfucker, you're not letting this motherfucker anywhere near my money.

• 3:16:40Shawn Ryan?

  And he's looking at his daughter. Are you serious with this shit?

• 3:16:45Speaker 02

  So dude, and like, we had this conversation once. Oh, man, I'll tell you a funny story. So I had monkey pox the first time I met him.

• 3:16:56Speaker 02

  Chris Curtis, no racism, bro.

• 3:16:58Shawn Ryan?

  I don't think I've ever met anybody that's had monkey pox.

• 3:17:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, dude, yeah. So I'm in the, I'm in the gym, dude. I'm in the gym. And my buddy, Chris Curtis, black guy, not monkey, but he just happened to be black, you know? So I'm in the gym and he has like some spots on him. Like, bro, that don't look right. And mind you, this guy's like one of my closest friends. I mean, him getting in fights all the time, like fist fight. We've probably been in five fistfights. Like, we, we fight. He's a dirty fucking liberal, you know? But uh, we get, we get in a fight all the time. I'm like, dude, you got some like weird spots on you. Like, are you okay? He's like, oh, yeah, no, I'm good, dude. Just a pimple. I'm like, all right, dude, like, that's cool. Hopefully, fucking parents will watch this. They probably don't, but so I was like, that's cool, dude. And he's out of the gym for like two fucking weeks.

• 3:17:42Speaker 02

  So my girl, my girl's like old school. Like, you don't meet her family. Like, guys don't meet the family. Like, my fucking, my house wasn't like that. I'm like, be fucking 16 years old, having sex up in the fucking room. Like, she'll be walking out half naked past the family. Like, that wasn't how my family was, dude. Like, like, we had no, like, we had no boundaries in my family, dude. So so like me and her parents was a big fucking thing for her. For me, I'm like, oh, man, it's weird to actually date a girl that has a dad. But uh, I'm not really used to that, you know? Usually it's like, usually in my past experience was like, you had to tell me how your dad molested you and then I have to feel real bad about that. But anyway. But I I love it, bro. My girl saved me from it.

• 3:18:26Shawn Ryan?

  What'd you guys do? What was the first date?

• 3:18:28Speaker 02

  We just went Starbucks.

• 3:18:28Shawn Ryan?

  Total opposites.

• 3:18:29Speaker 02

  No, we just went to Starbucks and hung out. We talked to about, uh, it was funny because like me, I'm on my worst behavior. I'm talking like one of like the barista guys. I'm like, you some kind of faggy? You work at Starbucks? He's like, no, man, I'm a libertarian. I like guns. Like, my girl was saying like, what the fuck? Upstate New York girl. So I meet her family, dude. I meet her fucking family. And I like, all of a sudden I have, like, I'm an emotional guy. I'm an emotional guy, just who I am. Like, I don't know why. I just like, like, uh, I mean, I was like, dude, I talked to this vet the other day and I almost started fucking bawling. Like, you know, he uh uh, where I was at, he's like, hey, you should go see my brothers at Arlington, bro. And he said that and like the way he said it, even thinking about it, like, it almost fucked me up, like,

• 3:19:13Speaker 02

  just hearing him say that, like, you should go meet my brothers, like, at Arlington. Like, it fucking, it fucked me up, dude. Like, even thinking about it makes me want to cry. Emotional guy. So anyways, I start talking to her and I have no shame in it, you know? I'm, I can be a pussy some days. So I start talking to her fucking dad and he starts like inquiring about my life, about my dad. And mind you, I have this fucking, I have this like massively high fever because the monkey pox, you get a fever and then you get the rash. So like, I'll go over dinner. So I'm already not in the right mindset. I'm fucking jacked up on caffeine.

• 3:19:55Speaker 02

  And like I probably have like a hundred and three fever. I'm just trying to keep it together and I start talking about my childhood. My brother raised me like. My brother is like for all rights or wrong or indifferent, like he fucking, he raised me like. He, he raised me and I started telling the story. I'm gonna try to keep my shit together when I tell the story. I'm gonna try to keep it together, guys. Don't fucking, I'm gonna keep my shit together. I can't look when I say it. So. There was one day my brother strapped like knives. I mean, we're talking about like elementary school strapped knives to his like his pants. And his plan was he goes sit next to my dad and his dad. Fuck him, damn dude. So.

• 3:20:33Speaker 02

  I'm like telling the story and I gotta stay animated because if I actually feel it, you know, it's gonna break me down. So if I stay animated, I just like, I'm good. Think about the bullet, think about the bullet. So I'm telling the story and like I just start crying. I might drive a high fever, you know, but like. I was like, just trying to explain to him what it was like. I just started, first time my parents fucking crying, trying to keep my shit together. Cause I was telling that story. And he, he asked me like I didn't, it was no unsolicited advice. I just tried to explain. And I also had a really high fucking fever like I was mildly delirious. Yeah. First time I met her parents, I had like a fucking breakdown. Not a breakdown. It was just more of just like, yeah, no, it's my brother raised me and. I just need a sec, one sec and then, yeah. So then I go home.

• 3:21:17Shawn Ryan?

  What does he say to that?

• 3:21:19Speaker 02

  He dude, his life, they're like, when you, my girl's family, I mean, the dad was the grandfather on the mom's side. Beloved in the town. They have like soccer. They have like golf tournaments. He was a coach at like some good college. War two vet, POW, battle of the bull, this raises honor. Her dad, her dad's a business owner. He inherited the business like, you know what I'm saying? They have like, they have, they have a long lineage, lineage of like success and stability. My lineage is like fucking mental illness and permanent disability. So it's like. Yeah, you know, he has to kind of wrap his head around that. Yeah, I told him.

• 3:21:59Shawn Ryan?

  Married into similar families.

• 3:22:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, right?

• 3:22:02Shawn Ryan?

  Father-in-law, kind of same deal and uh, yeah, yeah.

• 3:22:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, but I mean, you're a fucking.

• 3:22:08Shawn Ryan?

  Extremely worried.

• 3:22:09Speaker 02

  But dude, you're an American fucking hero, my man, like.

• 3:22:12Shawn Ryan?

  I don't think that's how they saw it.

• 3:22:16Speaker 02

  Well, don't show them the Columbia part.

• 3:22:19Speaker 02

  So anyways, I go break, I have a breakdown, dude. I go home and like I wake up, I tell, I text my girl. I'm like, dude, I, I had to leave. Sorry. I have a massive fever. I'm fucked up. I wake up, dude, I have legions all over my body from monkeypox. And I call Kurt and I was like, you motherfucker, dude.

• 3:22:41Shawn Ryan?

  Damn. Do you get along with them?

• 3:22:42Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, no, they're, they're fucking great, dude. They're like, um.

• 3:22:47Speaker 02

  They're great. They're like, like. Could not ask for like better fucking in-laws. Do you get along with the in-laws?

• 3:22:55Shawn Ryan?

  I do.

• 3:22:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:22:57Shawn Ryan?

  It took a little bit.

• 3:22:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think they still, I think they would still rather not be with the daughter. I think if they could snap their fingers, they'd probably say no. But I mean, whatever, dude. It's funny, um. I say this story a lot, but after we got married, you know, we go meet him for breakfast. And uh, and which I don't blame when we go meet him for breakfast and uh. He looks at me, we're saying our goodbyes, you know, shakes my hand. He goes, Sean.

• 3:23:26Speaker 02

  I didn't think you were gonna be my son-in-law, but here we are. He just walks the fuck away.

• 3:23:32Shawn Ryan?

  Holy shit.

• 3:23:34Speaker 02

  I just, but dude, I know who I am, bro. Like I love, I mean, like I said, I grew up like. I mean, I fucking know who I am, dude. I'm fucking a high school dropout. I, I, the only reason why I'm not fucking institutionalized is because I hit people in the fucking head. Like I'm a fucking loser. Like. And now everyone's like, oh, no, no, no, I am like who I, I mean, my, where I came from. Like, I mean, girls are getting fucking like, I remember being in fucking like junior high and chicks were getting fucking double teamed in my fucking living room. Like. That's who I came from, right? Like. Like we didn't have fucking like. I mean, we didn't have clean towels, dude. We had like the communal fucking towel that after like fucking three weeks, it turned into this like moldy fucking mess. Now you're debating.

• 3:24:17Speaker 02

  Do I take the sheet off my bed or do I use the moldy towel? I'm gonna go take the sheet off the bed. But you know, the thing about my parents too, they were never like, we were very middle class. Like we were very, I probably lower. They were like meat cutters. They worked at Albertson's together. But when you're white trash, you just fucking, you just spend fucking money. So by after you got all, you know, the, the beer, the alcohol, whatever the fuck else they're buying, you're just poor. But.

• 3:24:44Speaker 02

  It's why I like kids too, need to start investing, man. So like.

• 3:24:48Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, I mean, I know you think that of yourself, but fuck Sean, I'm telling you, dude, like.

• 3:24:55Speaker 02

  I'm so.

• 3:24:56Shawn Ryan?

  You could have such an impact on today's youth.

• 3:25:00Speaker 02

  I cannot tell you, I am so fucking lucky. I'm, I'm so lucky, dude. Like if I go back and I look at all my life from like. The, the, the fucking revolver to almost shooting the guy and even so much other than that, like. Like you want to talk about God? Like I am so lucky because if any, if any one of these thousand events happen any other way. I would not be here today or I'd be in a prison case somewhere.

• 3:25:25Shawn Ryan?

  Well, I'm glad you just said that.

• 3:25:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. My girl's dad actually funny. One Christmas, his best gift he ever gave me, he gave me like a $500 check and he handed me a laptop. I'm like, that's, that's cool, man. I don't fucking need your money. Like, I don't want your money. He's like, no, no, no. And he opened up a Charles Schwab account and he's like, you're gonna start investing. Like when my girl met me, I had a million dollars under a bag in my bed. Like, yeah, what am I gonna do with it, babe? It's a fucking. And she was like, are you fucking stupid? I'm like, I don't know. So now I like, I started investing and like. It's one of those things. I think one of the things about like, when you meet really wealthy people, they don't tell you it's so easy to make money in America. And. They, they, they don't teach you that as a kid. So like, and I don't mean like.

• 3:26:11Speaker 02

  I'm not one of those like people that are like, oh, you're fucking stupid. Like, like I was trying to explain to my girl. I was like, babe. You're talking about investing the money. Like, do you think I ever gave a fuck about that? Like, do you think I really, do you think I really had the thought process to say, hey, if I could put a hundred dollars now? In 10 years, it'll be 5,000, 10,000. Like I didn't, I didn't have that thought process. So the, my girl really changed my life. If it wasn't for her, I'd be in such. I'd be in such a bad place. I'd probably be with some like fucking porn star, OnlyFans girl, just like being a, just going deeper into it. Cause I mean, even dude, even like, I mean, I was a piece of shit and like my, once I. Like I got like my initial fame. It wasn't because I was a good guy.

• 3:26:55Speaker 02

  It was because like I let people know, like dude, I'm a piece of shit and I love it. Like I don't do drugs. I do, I do all my mistakes over. This is who I am. And then my girl really like.

• 3:27:07Speaker 02

  Really stopped and said like. You can't be a piece of shit if you want to be with me, which was fucking real hard.

• 3:27:15Shawn Ryan?

  Is that the first time you've ever had exposure to a family like that?

• 3:27:18Speaker 02

  Oh God, yeah, dude. It's so fucking weird. And first time she's ever exposed to a family like me. It's so weird, man. When you think about like.

• 3:27:26Speaker 02

  Honestly, like after seeing her family, I don't know if I'm gonna, I'm grateful for my family. Cause you know, dude, they're, they're really rich whites, bro. It's different. There's like these, there's like these hierarchies and like. They love each other, but there's like separations from church and state. Like there's separation between like, I'm the dad, you're the daughter. Like it's a very like, it's not cold, you know, they, they love each other and they do everything for each other. But it's like a very cold environment, right? Like right, wrong or indifferent, dude. I might've known who my mom was banging when I was in elementary school, but I knew, you know? So like, it was a Christmas, dude. It was Christmas with the whites and like.

• 3:28:08Speaker 02

  The first Christmas I've ever been to with the whites, dude. And it was like. I remember sitting there like, what the fuck am I doing here? So like. They love food. White people love food, dude. Like when you, when you saw the whites, like uh, I always saw a story. They, they go and they buy these like really nice cheeses and shit. The whites love cheeses, you know? So they go and they buy like. You know, like a whole basket. Like this is like Gouda. This is like aged cheese. There's fucking mold on this cheese. And they like, cause it's like a Christmas thing. So like. If you guys ever want to make a white person happy, get them some cheese, apparently.

• 3:28:48Speaker 02

  So anyways, they, the dad goes, well, hey, daughter, um. Do you know where your like, your cheese knives are at? And she was, oh dad, sorry, like uh.

• 3:29:00Shawn Ryan?

  We just have regular knives.

• 3:29:03Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't have a set. And dude, the dad, and she'll look back like that's not how it happened. And the dad looked at her like.

• 3:29:11Shawn Ryan?

  How the fuck do you not have a cheese knife?

• 3:29:12Speaker 02

  I did not have a cheese knife. I didn't know there was a fucking cheese knife dude. Where's your security board? So I'm just sitting there witnessing all this like the most upsetting thing about your guys' day is you don't have a fucking cheese knife like I mean what the fuck? So I'm just sitting there like watching this interaction and I'm just like taking it all in and absorbing it and looking how the whites live. I always say there's whites and there's whites, bro. And like to her family's eyes, bro, I ain't no fucking white man. Like I am like, I'm not white. So later on, as a dinner progresses.

• 3:29:46Speaker 02

  I'm gonna get so fucking, I'm gonna get yelled at for telling these stories or whatever. It's good, bro. It's a compliment to your family. I always tell her like, babe, it's a compliment. I didn't grow up that way. Like, dude, I was doing Christmas, I was probably trying to fucking have sex with a whore upstairs. Like, that was not like, it's good.

• 3:30:01Speaker 02

  So they're all like, they cook all day long and they go and they buy like this nice organic grass grass red fucking prime rib. And then the backyard all day long, like poking and prodding this fucking piece of meat like, oh man, look how tender that is. It's been on it's been on for this long. And I'm just sitting there like this is the most boring white ass shit I've ever did. Like, we need to fight some fucking people over, dude. Like, give me a fucking beer bottle that had any day over this. Like, I would I would rather go fucking fight my brother because he said some shit than be here, but it's nice. So then we have dinner and I look around and everyone's real nice. They're talking about like investments and stock accounts and you know, the coffee fucking, the coffee's in.

• 3:30:47Speaker 02

  So I'm like, hey, guys, how do you guys feel about God?

• 3:30:51Speaker 02

  Like, yeah, so like it's I saw the brother. I'm like, so do you, uh, do you, do you partake? Do you believe? I mean, it's Christmas. Do you believe in baby Jesus? And the mom, and the mom goes, yeah, I know. Do you believe in Christ? And I'm just laughing because I'm like they're so structured and so uninvolved in each other's lives that they don't even know, like the belief system of their kids because there's so many layers of structure in their lives. You are the father, you are the mother, you are a kid. Which I think is good to have these like layers of, and like my girl loves her dad. She's a dad's girl. Like she, she should have been a tomboy, you know?

• 3:31:33Speaker 02

  So they start talking about it and I'm just like absorbing all this like, huh? Cause the way I grew up, dude, like our Christmas dinner, dude, like I mean, not as an adult, as a kid, my brother be like, oh, I'm gonna go fucking bang my, my girlfriend or this whore. I mean, this is that Christmas dinner conversation, you know? So you watch this and you're just like, huh? This is how you guys live. It's really fucking boring. That's how I feel here in this town, by the way. I just walk around like, fuck, I'm not, dude. Where are the black people at? Give me some blacks. Do my people. No, but, uh, yeah, so you're with the whites, you know, it's like.

• 3:32:13Shawn Ryan?

  This is a good town, man. What people care about here is God. Don't fuck with our kids.

• 3:32:21Speaker 02

  Oh, it's great.

• 3:32:22Shawn Ryan?

  Everybody's nice to each other.

• 3:32:23Speaker 02

  If we had more God parent rednecks, I always say rednecks is one of the things that will save the country. Like, we just need more fucking rednecks. Mind you guys, I have a redneck, should be a black redneck. You could be a yellow redneck. I don't give a fuck. But like the mentality of a redneck, just hard work and God fearing people. It's like a dying breed, man. It makes you real sad.

• 3:32:42Shawn Ryan?

  Do you think you'll have kids?

• 3:32:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I want to have kids. I want to have kids. Um, me and my girl talking about it. She went and got tested. She's all good. We might do IVF. She doesn't need IVF, but I think you could pick a boy and I know God's gonna curse me with a girl, you know? What do you have, boy, girl?

• 3:33:01Shawn Ryan?

  I have a boy and a girl.

• 3:33:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:33:02Shawn Ryan?

  Boy first. So the Schultz method, the Schultz method, I think is what they call it. It works.

• 3:33:08Speaker 02

  What's the Schultz method?

• 3:33:12Shawn Ryan?

  I'm gonna butcher this. My wife, I just do what she says. But we really wanted a boy first and there's when she started tracking the, what, the ovulation cycle? There's, there's specific, so let me think. So the boy sperm, the male sperm is really fast, but it dies really quick.

• 3:33:32Speaker 02

  Got you.

• 3:33:33Shawn Ryan?

  So what, whatever point during the ovulation cycle? It's the, you, you, you don't have sex until, until like the egg has dropped.

• 3:33:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:33:46Shawn Ryan?

  So you have to look this up so I don't.

• 3:33:48Speaker 02

  You gotta find the timing. It's the timing.

• 3:33:49Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, so it's the timing. So as soon as the egg drops, you know, and they can like track all this stuff. That's when you have sex. And then the male sperm swim to the top and they, they fertilize the egg and the females are slower. Right? Sure as shit. We had a boy.

• 3:34:08Speaker 02

  No shit. And then you do the opposite.

• 3:34:09Shawn Ryan?

  One, we wanted a girl. So, so this, so with the girl.

• 3:34:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you're religious, bro. God has thrown you a bone.

• 3:34:15Shawn Ryan?

  So with the, with the girl.

• 3:34:19Shawn Ryan?

  With the female, you want to have sex before the egg drops. And so you have sex and all the males swim up there as fast as they can and they die. And the female ones, they swim slower, but they live longer. So the female ones are all hanging around and they're waiting for the egg to drop. And then when it drops, they fertilize the egg.

• 3:34:40Speaker 02

  Let me tell you now, this is happening.

• 3:34:41Shawn Ryan?

  Worked two times in a row.

• 3:34:45Speaker 02

  I'm gonna call my girl right now, dude.

• 3:34:46Shawn Ryan?

  Schultz method.

• 3:34:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I just know God will curse.

• 3:34:49Shawn Ryan?

  Now she has to listen to the podcast.

• 3:34:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no. I know God will curse me with a girl. God's gonna look at me. If there is a God, he's gonna look down on me. He's like, you think after all the damage you've done, you get a boy? Fuck no. It's time for you to repent, sir. Have a fucking girl. God, God will.

• 3:35:08Shawn Ryan?

  Girl's something else, man.

• 3:35:09Speaker 02

  But also too, like I would probably better with a girl because like I think that I'm probably a little bit too like hard on men, you know?

• 3:35:16Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:35:16Speaker 02

  But I'm kind of, but then I'm pretty too soft. I don't know, man. But like, so we're talking about doing IVF. My girl doesn't want to because she'd get pregnant, but I'm like, I really like go spend 50 grand and be able to pick a boy like I think it's kind of worth it.

• 3:35:27Shawn Ryan?

  Girls are cool.

• 3:35:28Speaker 02

  I bought trucks for more.

• 3:35:30Shawn Ryan?

  You're gonna love them both.

• 3:35:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I mean, I should just do it the old school way. But, uh, yeah, no, man, I want, I think one of the hard things for me

• 3:35:38Speaker 02

  with having a family is I'm kind of mentally stuck as who I was as a kid. And I know this might say like, this might seem weird to a lot of people and a lot of people can relate to this, but like I am a 35 year old grown ass man. I know who I am. But mentally, there's a part of me that is still stuck in that that person. So to actually think about like being a dad, waking up to a kid in the next room. Like to like, to raise a kid to be like, you know, better than I am, which really won't be that hard, right? If I'm, if I made it, dude, anybody could fucking make it. But like, a part of me is kind of stuck in that

• 3:36:19Speaker 02

  mentality of who I was when I was like 16 years old. It's hard for me to picture that, but I feel like you just got to do to make the mistake and just fucking figure it out.

• 3:36:30Shawn Ryan?

  It changes you.

• 3:36:31Speaker 02

  But it's, it's hard, man. It's hard to get out of that, like you know, and I think a lot of people too that have, not a lot of people, but a lot of people like they have, they had like inspiration, you know, like, yeah, you're gonna grow up and be a fucking dad. Like, you're gonna do this and that. Like, that's not me, man. It was like, if you fucking had a, you knocked a girl, punched her in the stomach, like you're a fucking idiot, you know, like you're, you're like like, that was never an option. Like being a dad was never an option for me. I never wanted it. And now I'm with my girl and like, you know, I'm established. So, yeah. I'm at the next chapter of life. Maybe make, make me, you know, change a little bit. Or not. About taking my church, right? Raise them as a Christian.

• 3:37:10Shawn Ryan?

  You should.

• 3:37:11Speaker 02

  And I probably would. Yeah, I probably would.

• 3:37:13Shawn Ryan?

  Is your wife a Christian?

• 3:37:15Speaker 02

  Um, I think their, I think their family would all be agnostic. Like, I think if you really I think if you really had to ask them gun to the head, do you believe that Jesus was the son of God? Even though they say they're Christian, I don't know if like gun to the head, that would be like the answer in their heart. So I think they would move for more fallen agnostic. But my girl went to church every Sunday. But they still go to church for, uh, Christmas. I think it's just like when you're white, dude, it's what you, if you're white, you're Christian. Like, that's what you do. You're a white man and and like, but they, upstate New York is kind of like a farm town, you know? Very different. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I would probably, that's hard. How do you raise your kid?

• 3:38:00Shawn Ryan?

  You raise them to be your replacement.

• 3:38:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay. I'd like him to be Christian. All right. I guess I'll raise Christian.

• 3:38:07Speaker 02

  But yeah, man, yeah, life's interesting, dude.

• 3:38:09Shawn Ryan?

  It is. Well, I got a hot question for you. Ready?

• 3:38:13Speaker 02

  Answer it away.

• 3:38:16Shawn Ryan?

  Sean, there's a video out there.

• 3:38:20Shawn Ryan?

  A lot of my audience has seen. Your Ring camera catches a guy at your house in Vegas. You grabbed a pistol, went out into the street and the whole thing ends up online. Take me back to that moment from the second you saw him on that camera to the decision to go outside. And what was actually going through your head?

• 3:38:40Speaker 02

  So.

• 3:38:43Speaker 02

  A backstory, not backstory, but another story. To like, describe who I am and you're the same way. You're the same fucking way. I'm driving. I'm on the phone with Nina and he's my good friend. We're UFC. And this homeless guy. Walks in front of me and I'm driving way too fucking fast, slam on the brakes, fucking throws his bike in front of me, throws his bike in front of me. I roll down the window. I can't, I can't go forward because of the bike in front of me. I pull out my gun. I put it in my, my hand because I don't know if this fucking homeless guy has a gun, a knife and try to stab me. I really don't have to fucking draw from like sitting, you know? So I'm like sitting with the gun in my hand and he gets something, rolls down the window, fuck you, fuck you. I'm just like, hey, you got a fuck problem dude? You know, and he puts his hands up and he walks away. And then Nina was like. Sean, you realize that you're in a car.

• 3:39:28Speaker 02

  You could have just drove away. I was like, I guess I could have. I was like, I guess, yeah, I guess you could just. I, I guess you, I don't think I would never walk away from a conflict. Like I, I just don't like, to me, if there's ever.

• 3:39:42Shawn Ryan?

  Who told you this? Who's in the car with you?

• 3:39:44Speaker 02

  No, I was on the phone with Nina talking about it. And like, she's on the phone, hearing me have this conversation, pulling out a gun and like, hey, you good dog? And now mind you, he had no weapon, no knife. So I just like, once he seen the gun, he backed away, but it's like, um.

• 3:39:58Speaker 02

  But, uh. Like, so Nina was like, why didn't you just drive away? You're in a car. I'm like, Nina, I just don't think like that. Like I am sure you're the same way. If there's a problem, you're not thinking like, I'm going to go this way. Like I'm a grown ass fucking man. I'm not going to go this way. This is where I'm going. So back to the, just to understand my mindset, right? Saying that I get a ring alert and there's some guy like hiding, like not hiding, but I thought he was trying to steal my truck, which is a really shitty truck. I don't know why you'd want to, I like it. But, uh, so I thought he was trying to steal my truck. So I tell my girl like wait inside. I grabbed my, I think it was a Sig. I think it was a Sig. I think it was a, the smaller three, six, five.

• 3:40:42Speaker 02

  So I go out there and I'm like, hey, what the fuck are you doing? He gets up. And he like, you know, you see the video. And he was just a weak, pathetic man. Like he was so fucking weak, so pathetic. Like. At that moment, you're like, there's no threatening thing about you. Like you're not a threat. There's nothing wrong with you. So he starts walking like, no, no, like wait dude. And then a security car, a security comes up and says, stop that guy. So now it's like, I'm assuming that this guy did something fucked up or very bad. And like, he's trying to be arrested. So now I'm like, well, okay. So I walk out and he keeps walking. I just shove him down. I point a gun at him and I'm like, you know, wait. Turns out.

• 3:41:27Speaker 02

  He beat up his sister. They're at a liquor store. He beat the fuck out of his sister. And then the sister jumped out of the car. He drove his car. Hit a, hit something, had a flat tire, parked right outside my house and was hiding between my truck. I thought he was trying to steal my truck, but that was a real story. So. I go out there and the security guards starts telling me like, no, he beat the hell out of this girl. He just crashed his car. And I'm, I'm on the phone with the cops right now. So I'm like, hey, you're not leaving dude. Just wait for the cops to come. And then the cops were like, you know, we're really busy tonight. Just let him go. And we have his name and information. We, he has a warrant. He has to turn himself in tomorrow.

• 3:42:09Speaker 02

  And I'm like, all right, you're free to go, dude. Enjoy your night.

• 3:42:14Shawn Ryan?

  Holy shit.

• 3:42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:42:15Shawn Ryan?

  He just beat the shit out of his sister and they're like, yeah, let him go.

• 3:42:17Speaker 02

  It's Vegas, man. It's fucking Vegas, a shit hole. So. He comes back later that night with his wife and that was wife's with him. And I just see, cause I look out the window and he's clearing beer bottles out of his car. So if cops come. He, so he goes and cleans all the alcohol, drives away, comes back the next day with his fucking daughter. And that's why I blurred his face. Cause I was like, you know, I don't want to like. I blurred your face. Once you came back with your kid. So he's like, and he's like a white trash, fucking delinquent. And he's trying to, he can't change his fucking tire on the car that he wrecked to drive out of there. So he's with his daughter and I'm like, this is so fucked up. So I walk outside. I'm like, hey dude, I'm the guy that put a gun to your head the other day. I'm like, you need some help?

• 3:43:04Speaker 02

  And so I changed the guy's tire with, I met his daughter, met his kid, changed his tire for him. Shook his hand and say, man, we wish you the best. And then I drove away.

• 3:43:16Speaker 02

  Well, I know it happened, but it's like, yeah. That was a weird fucking day. Again, I don't, I don't hate anybody. I mean, you're a piece of shit. But again, what is the common denominator? You're drunk. You're fucking drinking. Like, I can't, like, there's this guy. Um. It's a big thing, big controversy. Dustin, that's lame, but he's UFC champion.

• 3:43:38Shawn Ryan?

  Oh yeah. You guys, you guys have some history, don't you?

• 3:43:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. I made fun of him, but I make fun of everybody. Like he went out and said like, I was depressed and like, I was like, get the fuck out of here, bro. You're depressed. You're a rich, you're a rich fucking white man. And then a friend of a friend was like, hey, you're kind of, that was kind of fucked up. And so I was like, oh dude, maybe, maybe, maybe I overstepped. So I go and I, I called Dustin. I'm like, hey man, or I text him like, hey man, hey, sorry dude. Like, I was like, I don't think you're the kind of guy that gives a fuck, but I was just making a joke. I was just being me. And it turned out like he was really fucked up over it. Like he was really fucked up over it. He's like, yeah, dude. I'm like. I was in a bad place. I drank on a plane. I embarrassed my fucking family. Like forever. I'm, you know, I'm.

• 3:44:22Speaker 02

  What'd he say? He said, uh, it was good. He really, I mean, he gets a pass. He said, it gonna be a bad. He said to a black cop, but he gets a pass. Nobody cares. And I was like, man, I just like. I thought it was great, dude. I'm like, I'm, that's my new, I say that all the time. Like I, I didn't mean that, but he was really torn up by it. And then. Ah, fuck, I shouldn't. I don't think it matters, but I think Bud Light's going to release him and he kind of hinted to like, he's a sponsored athlete by Bud Light.

• 3:44:51Speaker 02

  And it made me so fucking mad. It made me so fucking mad. Like we buy me Bud Light. I'm going to get a call from the fucking UFC. Hey, why are you talking shit on Bud Light? So.

• 3:45:01Speaker 02

  Bud Light already fucking betrayed America with their fucking tranny on a beer can.

• 3:45:05Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:45:07Speaker 02

  So, but then, you know, I was like, whatever.

• 3:45:10Shawn Ryan?

  Ever, ever. So, but then like the little, yeah.

• 3:45:13Speaker 02

  So they go and they sponsor the UFC. I'm like, you know, man, at least they're trying. Like they're fucking trying to redempt. They're, they're trying to go in the man category. They're not pushing this gay shit anymore.

• 3:45:24Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. Because of the financials.

• 3:45:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, but no, for this is where like, I kind of like lost my shit with Bud Light again.

• 3:45:30Shawn Ryan?

  It's crazy how they bought everybody out overnight.

• 3:45:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:45:33Shawn Ryan?

  I remember.

• 3:45:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. So.

• 3:45:35Shawn Ryan?

  People shooting them with machine guns. And the next day they're drinking Bud Light on Rogan.

• 3:45:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. So.

• 3:45:40Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. You got a soul.

• 3:45:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, money's money. So I, I talked to Dustin and he kind of hinted that like they're going to terminate his contract because he got fucked up on a plane. And I was like. How like, how much of a piece of shit are you Bud Light? Like you take a guy. You want to say he's an alcoholic? He's in a bad place. He uses your product. He is a Bud Light. He is the American. And the moment something bad happens where like. You kind of get a little egg on your face. Like you get a little shame because you got drunk on a plane and tried to fight a black cop, which is fucking funny. He's not racist. You, you like, you want to terminate his contract? Like.

• 3:46:23Speaker 02

  What Bud Light should have done, that should be the PR. They should have reached out to Dustin and said, hey Dustin, man. You're not doing well. You might have a problem with drinking. We're a beer company. We sponsor you, but like, can we help you? Can we, can we help you? Like. Like we, we want to help you as a beer company, as American, as an American company. I know you guys do the commercials of the American flags and like the pool parties. Let it, let us kind of help you. Do you need anything? That's not what they did. They're, they're going to say, oh, you fucked up. You used our product. And you fucked up. Get the fuck lost. We don't want that bad image. And you know, I always say like. I don't drink. I never have drank, nor will I drink. I just, I don't have the personality for it.

• 3:47:06Speaker 02

  I think Bud Light spent six billion dollars in the last forty years of marketing. And like their, their level of marketing, it's like, and I don't want to say Bud Light, you could say every beer company, I'm just using this because they're the one that's going to drop dust in it like irks my soul. But they did it, man. They, they sold you the American way that like you, you're, you know, cowboy on a horse, a game and this and that, but like, I don't fucking have that fulfilling. Every time I seen a beer can or a beer bottle as a kid, there was no like, this isn't, this is not going to be a good day for me.

• 3:47:39Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:47:40Speaker 02

  Like when my dad walked inside the house with a fucking pack of beer, like I didn't look at that beer can, like this is America. I want to go watch a football game and be happy. I'm like, oh damn, I'm fucked. I guess it's gonna be a fucking, he went for the fucking twenty-four pack instead of twelve pack. Like it's gonna be a fuck night for me. So I don't have the, I don't have like that kind of relationship with alcohol. For me, I think alcohol is fucking poison. It's like, it is like the worst thing.

• 3:48:05Shawn Ryan?

  It is. It is poison.

• 3:48:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like, again, I'm a little bit tired. I think it should be illegal, but it's like, even, even with Dustin, you know, I'm, I'm happy to acknowledge that it is fucked up, but. I mean, it's just, it's so easy when you're having a bad day and I think about all the time, like I don't do drugs, but like I want to do drugs so fucking bad. Like I'll have a bad day and I just like, I'm around my friends that drink and I'm like, man, if I just go get high right now.

• 3:48:35Speaker 02

  Like all my, like my urges, desires could just vanish and I'm just going to be a happy fucking idiot for a night. Like that sounds so fucking nice. I get it. I just know that like where that fucking leads and, and alcohol always leads. For the most part, if you have, if you're one of the many Americans that have the demons, it leads a very fucked up road. Just stay away from it.

• 3:48:57Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah. It's good advice, man.

• 3:48:59Speaker 02

  So I fucking, I didn't even know how we got talking about Dustin and Bud Light, but uh.

• 3:49:03Shawn Ryan?

  We were talking about you going after somebody saw on the ring camera.

• 3:49:07Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, about alcohol.

• 3:49:08Shawn Ryan?

  And then I was gonna ask you what your everyday carry is.

• 3:49:10Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, no, I got the uh, I got the Sig man, not a, not a three twenty dude. I actually, uh, I got the Sig uh, three, six, five, A X G, all metal. Best, best carry gun. The thing is like, I will say when I, when I carry. So you carry a Sig, I'm assuming, what do you carry?

• 3:49:26Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I, I carry, I like the three sixty-five. It depends where I go. Around here where I live, I carry the, the three sixty-five, the B O G one, twelve plus one.

• 3:49:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, subcompact one.

• 3:49:41Shawn Ryan?

  If um.

• 3:49:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, ain't nothing.

• 3:49:43Shawn Ryan?

  If I'm, if I'm driving, you know, if, if I'm somewhere else, it's a little more, yeah.

• 3:49:51Shawn Ryan?

  Something different than I, I like carrying the three sixty-five macro or the Legion, which same thing.

• 3:49:56Speaker 02

  You carry a spear mag with you?

• 3:49:57Shawn Ryan?

  Oh, fuck yeah.

• 3:49:58Speaker 02

  Oh, do you really? Oh, he's one of those guys. Yeah, I know, I carry a spear mag, I should. But I'm usually like, when I carry it, I'm like in gym shorts. I'm just like, and I have like the clip on holster. I don't do the gun belt.

• 3:50:07Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, if I'm cruising around, you know, doing, if, if I'm out traveling, going through towns.

• 3:50:13Speaker 02

  Now, are you, are you, are you a Sig shield or do you actually believe the product?

• 3:50:19Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, I've just told you, I care, I carried it a long time. I've got videos of me carrying it way before I became, um. Way before I started my partnership.

• 3:50:29Speaker 02

  No, I think it's the best gun. They don't, they don't, Sig doesn't sponsor me. I think it's the best gun.

• 3:50:32Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:50:33Speaker 02

  Glocks, I find very uncomfortable to like, to carry. I just, and then like, you know, Sig has more capacity for the same package. The only good thing about a Glock is that when I do like a Glock nineteen, I present very well. Like for something about that big blocky thing, I just, when I grab it, I present so well because like the way it's shaped. But I hate fucking carrying it because you're carrying this big blocky thing that just, I'm fucking fat, dude. I'm just killing myself. The Sig to me is by far the best carry gun.

• 3:51:04Shawn Ryan?

  I'll be, I'm glad you asked me if I'm a Sig shield, because everybody calls me a Sig shield. But I'll even tell you about my partnership. We started.

• 3:51:13Speaker 02

  I own a three twenty.

• 3:51:14Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, we, we, we, no, I was, so I, well, before I started this, I was in the firearms industry, you know? I was a tactical trainer and um, trained Keanu Reeves for John Wick.

• 3:51:28Speaker 02

  Oh no shit.

• 3:51:28Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah.

• 3:51:29Speaker 02

  I had that Genisur shotgun, really great shotgun.

• 3:51:31Shawn Ryan?

  And uh, I have one in there. I've been shot at.

• 3:51:33Speaker 02

  Oh dude, it runs great. You could run burst shot through it. Runs great.

• 3:51:36Shawn Ryan?

  Maybe we should bust that out when we go to the range today. But uh, anyways, I couldn't get a gun spa, I could not get a firearm sponsorship, no matter what. And I was reviewing the Sig three sixty-five. It got like, I don't know, a couple of million views. Couldn't get anything. Then I started this and, and um. Got a, got a partnership with Sig. Dude, they're just a fucking awesome company, man. And you know, they came on and I was like, hey, I don't do exclusive stuff. Like I like a lot of different guns and I'm going to shoot guns and I'm going to post other guns. And I like your stuff. A lot too, but I was like, I'm, I'm not, I'm just not going to be an exclusive person and I, I want to be able to shoot what I like to shoot.

• 3:52:18Shawn Ryan?

  And, but I do carry your stuff and I do own your stuff and I love your stuff and I carried a Sig two twenty-six in the SEAL teams. Totally cool with that, dude. They're like, yeah, do whatever.

• 3:52:29Speaker 02

  But the only, the only controversy Sig had was the three twenty. But even the three twenty, like, mind you. Would I carry a three twenty? I don't know if I'd carry a three twenty. Would I have one next to my bed with a can on it? Maybe. But they don't run, they, they don't run well with cans. I have one. But uh, but every time you watch the videos of the three twenty going off.

• 3:52:50Speaker 02

  It's like, there is always some level of like, oh, this is not the right holster I put it in. Like there's always some level of like question.

• 3:52:59Shawn Ryan?

  Well, the last thing, the last thing that happened, and I don't know all of, all the stuff behind this, but there was. There was an army, there was an army guy or an air force person or whatever that was shot and killed.

• 3:53:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then his buddy knew it.

• 3:53:15Shawn Ryan?

  And so they used the narrative that the three twenty was going off all by itself. You know what I mean? They use that narrative to try to clear the, to, the, the kid used it, like he used it to his advantage. Hold on.

• 3:53:28Speaker 02

  I was on it.

• 3:53:28Shawn Ryan?

  And then, and then they did the investigation and the kid picked up the fucking gun and pulled the trigger and shot his friend. But the narrative's getting used against them. But I got you a present.

• 3:53:39Speaker 02

  Oh, well, wait, wait, let me, let me finish that. So, so touch you on that. This is why like I kind of had a come to Jesus moment with Sig and I had to kind of like readdress it. Cause I was the same way. When I, when I heard that story. Not only that, I was kind of like, fuck you Sig. I got mad at Sig. Cause I was like, cause I carry, I, I carry a Sig. I have like fucking five Sig guns, dude. So I kind of got mad at it and I kind of jumped on the fucking Sig hate bandwagon. And then once the real story came out. I'm like, man, I just shitpost Sig for like fucking months. And it turns out this like guy shot himself. So I, I think in, even in the videos, you're like.

• 3:54:17Speaker 02

  They're always weird, you know? It's like, oh, they're reholstering on a holster that's not made for the gun. Like it's just very weird. And I think because it's such a common gun. So if there's any video of this going off because someone putting a gun, I mean, it's probably one of those fucking popular guns, but just by proxy and video, you're going to see that. But yeah, no, I'm just fucked with you, man. I, I fuck with Sig. I, I own Sig. I like fucking Sig.

• 3:54:39Shawn Ryan?

  I'm glad you brought it up, but um, anyways, let me grab.

• 3:54:45Shawn Ryan?

  Got a couple of gifts for you.

• 3:54:51Shawn Ryan?

  Oh shit.

• 3:54:55Shawn Ryan?

  So uh, you know what this is?

• 3:54:57Speaker 02

  Uh, it's.

• 3:54:58Shawn Ryan?

  You look excited, Sean.

• 3:54:59Speaker 02

  Well, it's the uh, it's this thing, it starts with an S, right? What the fuck's it called?

• 3:55:03Shawn Ryan?

  This is the Sig three hundred blackout rattler.

• 3:55:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, the fucking rattler dude.

• 3:55:07Shawn Ryan?

  It's got a collapsible stock here, folding stock, I mean, flip up irons. It's got Sig's new um, optic, which I forget the name of, sorry. Sig flashlight and Sig suppressor. So um.

• 3:55:22Shawn Ryan?

  You want to test this out?

• 3:55:26Speaker 02

  Oh my god, man, I'm a lefty too, by the way.

• 3:55:28Shawn Ryan?

  Are you really?

• 3:55:29Speaker 02

  I really appreciate the anti-safety and uh, it's nice. Now I can't afford to shoot three hundred blackout. Oh, uh, touch the microphone. No, I can't afford to shoot three hundred blackout, but you know. Oh, I think.

• 3:55:41Shawn Ryan?

  Maybe your rich white in-laws will buy you some three hundred blackout to go with it. Or maybe Sig will be extra generous and just send you some.

• 3:55:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I say, hook it up, man. I mean, at this point.

• 3:55:52Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I got a, my buddy Jason over there, I told him you were coming on. He got all excited. And I'll tell you another badass thing about Sig is. So the sheriff's department that's just to the west of here, they have a horrible budget. They, they have like. A three million dollar budget to run the entire department. I'm friends with somebody that, that works over there and he was telling me the guns they're running. And he's like, dude, we got like, these old ass, like, I don't want to destroy any companies here, but. This company upper, the, the barrels are shot out, different lowers. And he's like, we don't have any optics and. And he's like, guys are starting to ask if they could just run their own stuff and they don't want us to.

• 3:56:36Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, I got pissed. I was like, I can't fucking believe they're sending, and they don't have a choice. They have no funding. You know, three million dollars for the whole fucking department is nothing. It costs more than that to run this. And. So, uh, I was like, this is, I can't believe this shit. So I just, I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna outfit this department myself if I have to. And I called Jason up at Sig and I was like, "Hey dude, this is the deal." I was like, "Can you guys, even if you just give it to me at cost?"

• 3:57:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:57:12Shawn Ryan?

  Um, and so me and Sig are going in together. We're gonna split it and we're gonna outfit that entire SWAT team with brand new rifles and optics. And another badass thing about that company is, are you familiar with the Roadblocks shit? Have you heard of Roadblocks?

• 3:57:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:57:28Shawn Ryan?

  That, so Roadblocks is a game where all these predators are hanging out.

• 3:57:32Speaker 02

  Oh god, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know somebody. Yeah, no, that game should be banned.

• 3:57:35Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, so I brought this kid in, Schlep. That's his, uh, his framed thing over there his mom sent. Anyways, Schlep kinda unveiled the whole Roadblocks thing.

• 3:57:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 3:57:46Shawn Ryan?

  On what was going on. And so one of the things they did is they recreated this fucking game, recreated all the active shooter, school shooting events and put them in the game. Not only did they do that, they put the victims that were killed, like remember all the kids that were killed at Sandy Hook? They put the names of the kids over the kids. So you enter the classroom and murder the kids. They recreated the scene and they were using Sig weapons. So I got that to Jason too and I said, "Hey, I just want you guys to know I did this episode and they're utilizing your weapons in that fucking game." So it got their legal involved, went after Roadblocks and I pulled the shit out immediately.

• 3:58:30Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 3:58:31Shawn Ryan?

  So regardless of whatever you hear about them.

• 3:58:35Speaker 02

  No, I mean, again.

• 3:58:36Shawn Ryan?

  Awesome, awesome, awesome.

• 3:58:37Speaker 02

  I am, I have the 20, the, the GTO. By the way, have you shot the GTO yet?

• 3:58:43Shawn Ryan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:58:43Speaker 02

  2011? Oh my god, I think it runs so great. It, one of my, I, I say that the GTO is a pleasure to shoot. I mean, it's fucking flat. It's nice. I got that. I got, uh, 320. I got like a few 365s. I got the Sig Cross.

• 3:59:00Shawn Ryan?

  Nice.

• 3:59:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, and speaking of the Sig Cross, I can never figure out how to fucking close these things. Where is it? Wait, let me figure this out. Cause the same mechanism, you ever shot the cross?

• 3:59:10Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, we got one in there.

• 3:59:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, you like, you push that, oh god damn it, dude. How do you fucking close this?

• 3:59:15Shawn Ryan?

  Here, let me show you.

• 3:59:17Speaker 02

  And every time I grab my Sig, dude, I.

• 3:59:19Shawn Ryan?

  Push this down?

• 3:59:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, get this on, that's gonna.

• 3:59:23Shawn Ryan?

  I just folded this damn thing.

• 3:59:26Speaker 02

  Oh, there we go.

• 3:59:29Shawn Ryan?

  There you go.

• 3:59:31Speaker 02

  So again, you guys, I, I gotta say, you gotta, if I can give you advice, you gotta fix this mechanism. Cause everybody that has a Sig Cross, when they go to fold it, they always fuck with it. Naughty, this is a beautiful gun. Hey Sig, thank guys. I fuck with you guys. If you wanna shoot me some ammo for this thing, let me know. Preferably subsonic. What do you think about that? Hey, wait, wait, I gotta ask you a question. I gotta ask you, cause the gun guys will love this. What do you think about 300 Blackout?

• 3:59:56Speaker 02

  This is, this is like the debate, bro. This is, this is the, the gun debate. What do you like 300 Blackout?

• 4:00:02Shawn Ryan?

  I mean, dude, I don't, if I like.

• 4:00:05Speaker 02

  Uh, what's your nightstand gun?

• 4:00:07Shawn Ryan?

  What's my nightstand gun?

• 4:00:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:00:11Shawn Ryan?

  It's a pistol. It's a nine millimeter pistol, the Sig Macro.

• 4:00:14Speaker 02

  Okay, you know, you, you, okay, you don't do any rifle next to the.

• 4:00:17Shawn Ryan?

  And then I got, I got another one, the Sig, the Sig MCX Spear, which I'll show, I'll bring it out.

• 4:00:23Speaker 02

  Wait, do you have, do you have a rifle?

• 4:00:24Shawn Ryan?

  It's 300 Blackout.

• 4:00:25Speaker 02

  Do you have a rifle in your room?

• 4:00:27Shawn Ryan?

  Dude, yes.

• 4:00:28Speaker 02

  Okay, so you.

• 4:00:29Shawn Ryan?

  Have you seen the, the armory here?

• 4:00:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, so you do, wait, you do 300 Blackout?

• 4:00:33Shawn Ryan?

  I do 300 Blackout. Here's why.

• 4:00:35Speaker 02

  Do you do subsonic or supersonic?

• 4:00:37Shawn Ryan?

  I don't think it matters. I, I have both, but I, I find that, uh, just regular, not subsonic runs better. I always get jams with the subsonic. No matter what 300 Blackout.

• 4:00:49Speaker 02

  You, is your gun, do you have the suppressed, your rifle?

• 4:00:52Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, suppressed. What do you have?

• 4:00:55Speaker 02

  Uh, I do just, uh, I'm a PSA guy, dude. My PSA isn't my budget.

• 4:01:01Shawn Ryan?

  High caliber though.

• 4:01:02Speaker 02

  It's 223 AR-15 and then I.

• 4:01:04Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, I, I do 300 Blackout because of the penetration.

• 4:01:07Speaker 02

  And then I have my, my nightstand gun.

• 4:01:09Shawn Ryan?

  Cause I know one, I told you about what happened with the green tip, right? And so 223 is gonna fly through the human, fly through the wall, go through the next wall and potentially go into my son or daughter's room, right? With the 300 Blackout, once it hits the flesh, it's not gonna have enough penetration to keep going. And so.

• 4:01:26Speaker 02

  This is a new nightstand gun then. But I, I carry the PSA AR-15. I do 11 inches. And then I also carry the, um, the GTO is my, my handgun.

• 4:01:37Shawn Ryan?

  Nice.

• 4:01:37Speaker 02

  I mean, it's, it's such a nice gun. Guys, if you ever wanna get a 2011 dude, even for the cost, like it's such a good cost entry for that level of gun. I don't really fuck with Cicado. I just think they're kinda gay. Something about Cicados here, I'm just like, every time you see a Cicado guy, I buy, own Cicados, but it's like, they're just kinda fucking gay. And then like the guys that.

• 4:01:56Shawn Ryan?

  Why, why do you think they're gay?

• 4:01:59Speaker 02

  And then the guys that shoot Cicados dude, like, they're just like, they're just fucking dildos. Like, so in the motorcycle world, there's like Ducatis. Like, there's always like, I'm the Ducati guy. And it's like, you, you have like, guns are marginally different. So like, people that get Cicados, they get so wrapped up in the name and the pistol. It's like, dude, you're just gay. It's like, like you sound like a fucking European dude. Like, you're just fucking gay. So I just like, I, I, I can't fuck with Cicado. I mean, they're a little, do you tell me Cicado's a little gay?

• 4:02:28Shawn Ryan?

  I don't think it's gay.

• 4:02:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. But you know, also too, people need to understand, like, everybody picks a side with guns, dude. Guns are so marginally different.

• 4:02:37Shawn Ryan?

  It's a tool.

• 4:02:38Speaker 02

  Like, even when you're talking to handguns, where they're talking about a Hellcat. I don't, I think the Hellcat's a little bit too snappy. Not a big fan of the Hellcat. They're like Glock or this Sig, dude, they're just marginally fucking different. And people are so tribalized. We're like, "Oh yeah, dude, I carry a, carry a Sig. Oh, you fucking loser." "Oh, I carry a Glock." Like, "Oh, you fucking loser. Your Sig's in a jam." Like, if there is a, if there is a team, someone's gonna pick it and they're gonna fucking hate you for not being on the team. I'm not that way, dude. I like, I, other than Cicado, other than Cicado dude, I like, I like all guns. I have Sig. I have Smith and Wesson, like, same with motorcycles. I have fucking Harley, I have Indian, I have Kawasaki,

• 4:03:18Speaker 02

  I have Yamaha, like, you know, I'm just, I'm not tribal. I, I've never really been like a, a tribalistic kinda guy. Do what makes you happy.

• 4:03:27Shawn Ryan?

  Yep, yep.

• 4:03:28Speaker 02

  Just don't point it in my face.

• 4:03:29Shawn Ryan?

  Yep. I got, going, here's another thing. Good joints with weed, gummy bears, made in the USA. Not weed gummies, just candy. And then I got one other thing for you.

• 4:03:42Speaker 02

  Gummy bears, but I gotta try one of these.

• 4:03:48Shawn Ryan?

  So, talking about.

• 4:03:52Shawn Ryan?

  Talking about God and all this other stuff, right? Wanna give this to you? You read?

• 4:03:58Speaker 02

  No, I read. I'll read if it matters.

• 4:04:01Shawn Ryan?

  Well.

• 4:04:14Shawn Ryan?

  What is today? 10?

• 4:04:24Shawn Ryan?

  It's a book called The Jesus Calling.

• 4:04:28Shawn Ryan?

  You read one, one thing a day, super short, takes no time.

• 4:04:33Speaker 02

  I will read.

• 4:04:33Shawn Ryan?

  I read it at the end of the day. And a lot of times, I feel like it's talking about what happened that day. Maybe you get something out of it, maybe you don't.

• 4:04:43Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what.

• 4:04:46Speaker 02

  Every night I'll read a page, starting tonight. But yeah, no, I mean, you know, speaking of like God, man, I, I cannot tell you the respect I have for Christianity. It's like, it's a, one of the greatest gifts that we've had on this planet is like the gift of Christianity. And like, when it's used correctly and it's used in the way it's intended, anything can happen. But yeah, man, I appreciate you, dude.

• 4:05:09Shawn Ryan?

  Appreciate you, man. You've got a huge heart. I can tell.

• 4:05:13Speaker 02

  I'm kinda a pussy, but yeah.

• 4:05:15Shawn Ryan?

  But, uh, it's been an honor, man. I mean that.

• 4:05:34Shawn Ryan?

  No matter where you're watching The Sean Ryan Show from, if you get anything out of this at all, anything, please like, comment and subscribe. And most importantly, share this everywhere you possibly can. And if you're feeling extra generous, head to Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review.