Vigilance Elite Outtakes | Hilarious Warm Up Round with Nick Kefalides

A hilarious warm up session before filming Shawn Ryan Show #004 with Nick Kefalides Vigilance Elite/Shawn Ryan Links: Website - https://www.shawnryanshow.com Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/VigilanceElite TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnryanshow Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shawnryan762 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Mr. President? My company tore me of the explosion on our rig.

• 0:33Speaker 02

  On October 2nd.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 0:38Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 0:46Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stall, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 0:53Speaker 03

  I'm not the first then.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 0:59Speaker 04

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• 1:38Shawn Ryan?

  Ready to roll? All right, dude, we're just doing a warm-up. And you used to be a real assassin, or a different kind of assassin. Now you're the best assassin. So, let's hear a fishing story.

• 1:57Nick Kefalides?

  Oh, man, where do I start? I've got, I've got a lot. You know, I've got a lot of really cool, like, big fish stories and stuff, but, uh... You know, when I think about something that kind of makes me really laugh, it's uh, you know, when I started guiding full time, I had this client that I took out and uh, you know, he's a just a, he's just a big guy, you know, heavyset guy, just really big dude. And uh, you know, we had a great time, you know, good conversation and we're out there. And he had mentioned something to me like earlier, sorry, I gotta edge, uh, earlier in the, in the day about, you know, having like some stomach issues. He, his concern was, hey,

• 2:41Nick Kefalides?

  are we close where we're gonna be fishing? Will we be any, you know, somewhat close to a bathroom? And I was like, yeah, I mean, it'll be within five minutes, 10 minutes.

• 2:49Shawn Ryan?

  Like right off the bat, that was his first question?

• 2:51Nick Kefalides?

  Well, it wasn't his first one, but it was something he, he mentioned it, you know, he was asking an array of different questions about, hey, how big's this body of water? And how many acres? And you know, what kind of species of fish or will you find in this lake? And you know, yada, yada, yada. And then he happened to mention that. I didn't really think anything of it. Fast forward a couple hours when we're, you know, down, getting in down nitty gritty with fishing and

• 3:16Nick Kefalides?

  he randomly is like, hey, where did you say that that, that bathroom was? Are we close to it? And you know, he sounded like really concerned, like in a panic. And uh, I told him, I said, if you, you need to go. And before I could finish my sentence of telling him, hey, if you need to go, we can run over real quick. I could feel the boat kind of shaking a little bit. And as I look back, this dude's stripping down butt ass naked.

• 3:41Shawn Ryan?

  Completely fucking naked?

• 3:43Nick Kefalides?

  Like naked, like naked. And straight up like jumps in the water and does what he's got.

• 3:50Shawn Ryan?

  Jumped in the water?

• 3:50Nick Kefalides?

  Yeah, I saw him, I heard him. I mean, it was.

• 3:56Shawn Ryan?

  Why do you, so he jumped in the water to take a fucking, to drop a deuce?

• 3:59Nick Kefalides?

  Yeah, he, he was like, I had to go.

• 4:02Shawn Ryan?

  Stinkers or floaters?

• 4:05Nick Kefalides?

  I can't say.

• 4:06Shawn Ryan?

  You didn't snag one?

• 4:07Nick Kefalides?

  I mean, I thought about like, maybe getting one with the net, you know, and like, but.

• 4:14Shawn Ryan?

  They were too fast?

• 4:16Nick Kefalides?

  They were too fast.

• 4:17Shawn Ryan?

  Right on.

• 4:21Shawn Ryan?

  What was it like when he got back in the fucking boat?

• 4:25Nick Kefalides?

  He couldn't get back in the boat, I had to help him.

• 4:27Shawn Ryan?

  Are you shitting me?

• 4:28Nick Kefalides?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Shawn Ryan?

  What was that conversation like?

• 4:32Nick Kefalides?

  It was like, I didn't know, like, do I help the guy? He's fucking naked, like.

• 4:37Shawn Ryan?

  Let me lend you a hand here.

• 4:41Shawn Ryan?

  Repeat customer?

• 4:43Nick Kefalides?

  Not yet, but he will be.

• 4:44Shawn Ryan?

  Right on.

• 4:45Nick Kefalides?

  He feels comfortable shitting around me, like.

• 4:47Shawn Ryan?

  Hey, I mean, it doesn't really get, once that happens, it's kinda like dating, you know, like you're fucking holding farts in and turds. And then it just gets to the point where like, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna let it out. And uh,

• 4:59Nick Kefalides?

  It's gonna happen.

• 4:59Shawn Ryan?

  We'll see how this goes.

• 5:00Nick Kefalides?

  It's gonna happen.

• 5:01Shawn Ryan?

  You know, everybody poops, right? So.

• 5:05Nick Kefalides?

  I've been burned a few times. Never trust a fart.

• 5:08Shawn Ryan?

  Yeah, yeah, I had that happen the other day.

• 5:12Nick Kefalides?

  You sharted?

• 5:13Shawn Ryan?

  It's, as I get older, it just, it happens more and more.

• 5:18Nick Kefalides?

  Fucking poor Katie cleaning her underwear.

• 5:20Shawn Ryan?

  I know, it's, actually, I don't, I don't wear underwear. But, well, let's kick this fucking thing off, huh?

• 5:27Nick Kefalides?

  Let's do it, man.

• 5:27Shawn Ryan?

  Alright, right on. There goes one right there.

• 5:30Nick Kefalides?

  What was that?

• 5:33Shawn Ryan?

  Garletti fucking shit himself.

• 5:40Nick Kefalides?

  Burger King?

• 5:42Shawn Ryan?

  What's the fucking Burger King story?

• 5:44Nick Kefalides?

  Burger King's story is, pretty much, I had a fucking, the moment that guy had. And I was driving home from St. Pete, Tampa, home, I was on Interstate 4, driving home, and I had PDQ for lunch. And,

• 6:01Shawn Ryan?

  Wait, what? PDQ?

• 6:03Nick Kefalides?

  Yeah, people, PDQ is a fast food chain. Down in, like, in the south. What does it stand for? Uh...

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Pretty damn quick.

• 6:12Nick Kefalides?

  No.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Something quality.

• 6:15Nick Kefalides?

  People dedicated to quality.

• 6:18Shawn Ryan?

  No shit, I've never heard of it.

• 6:20Nick Kefalides?

  So anyways, I stop at PDQ, I get something to eat. I get back on the road. It's not seven, eight minutes going down the road where it just comes upon me and I need to unleash the fury of hell.

• 6:37Nick Kefalides?

  So, I pull off the closest exit. Soon as you get off the exit, the only thing that was there was a Wendy's. I pull into the parking lot of Wendy's, I shit you not. I almost, I barely got out of my truck. I found the nearest bush.

• 6:52Shawn Ryan?

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 6:53Nick Kefalides?

  I can fucking hide in, and...

• 6:54Shawn Ryan?

  You fucking hid in a Wendy's bush?

• 6:57Nick Kefalides?

  Yeah, fucking hid in a Wendy's bush, did my thing, took my shoes off, used my socks to wipe my ass. As I'm finishing up, I look up and just so happened to see a mother and her two little boys sitting in the fucking window of Wendy's. And they're watching. I don't think even one of the little kids had his phone out and I'm like, "Oh, this isn't gonna be good."

• 7:23Nick Kefalides?

  I got back in my truck and went home, had a little bit of shit in my pants.

• 7:27Shawn Ryan?

  Two hours later, you were on social media, or fucking trending on Twitter.

• 7:32Nick Kefalides?

  My wife got a kick out of it. I mean, she's still to this day gives me shit about it. Hey, remember when you shit your pants?

• 7:39Shawn Ryan?

  Holy fuck. Well...

• 7:44Shawn Ryan?

  Those are some shitty stories.

• 7:46Nick Kefalides?

  They're pretty shitty.

• 7:49Shawn Ryan?

  Alright, fuck it. Let's get it on.