Yara Shahidi Opens Up: How To Prioritize Mental Health & Overcome Self-Doubt To Achieve Any Dream

Join me for an incredibly insightful conversation with the remarkable Yara Shahidi, who at just 24 has already achieved extraordinary success as an actress, producer, and Harvard graduate. Beyond her achievements on shows like Black-ish and Grown-ish, Yara reveals herself as a deeply thoughtful individual wrestling with questions of authenticity, personal growth, and purposeful living. She opens up about balancing her flourishing career with her education, managing public expectations, and her journey toward embracing imperfection. What struck me most was her wisdom beyond her years and her commitment to building genuine relationships while maintaining her authentic self. This conversation is a masterclass in navigating success while staying grounded in your values. The Optimist Project with Yara ShahidiIn this episode you will learn:How to transform early success into sustainable growth by honoring your curiosities and staying true to your authentic selfWhy building "relationship equity" is more valuable than networking, and how to cultivate meaningful connections in any industryThe importance of creating boundaries and practicing discernment when opportunities seem endlessHow to navigate public expectations while maintaining your personal values and integrityThe power of reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and self-discoveryFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1699For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Rupi Kaur – greatness.lnk.to/1678SCPokimane – greatness.lnk.to/1443SCVenus Williams – greatness.lnk.to/1591SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  So many times, people would assume that I'm just an upbeat person. I think for the most part, a smiley individual. But I think the anxiety and overwhelm are overshadowing the excitement of what's next. I think it's also kind of aligned with a lot of self-work, of prioritizing what it means to take care of myself. I put my own needs behind everything else, even when it's not being asked of me. You know her as an actress on Blackish and Grownish.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Since then, she's graduated from Harvard, become a successful producer, the incredible Yara Shahidi.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  It truly starts as a vision board. Some random day, I was 18 and wrote down every deal that I wanted to have. And I don't typically think that way of being like, oh, I'm gonna get this deal with this. But I'd just written down a list. Two years later, I was like, oh, we did it all. The priority in this world is building relationships with the people around you. It's not building networks, it's not building contacts, it's building relationships.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  My whole life has been about relationships.

• 0:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  What do you feel like has been the most challenging thing you've had to overcome?

• 1:00Speaker 00

  I don't know if I've talked about this.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have Yara Shahidi in the house. So good to see you.

• 1:11Speaker 00

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I am excited because you have had an incredible career as a young actor, but also, you know, just talking to you beforehand with your mom is just inspiring what you've been able to create for yourself from your career in TV, film, but also graduating from Harvard while acting as well on one of the biggest shows on TV and making that work. You're launching a podcast now with your mom called The Optimist Project. And you were telling me right before that you're actually not that optimist of a person.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I think the podcast truly came from conversations we're having. So, I mean, the thing is, what's nice is, if you know me, you know that me and mommy are very similar people, which is why our friendship, but also our business relationship works. And so many times, people know, I'll say Carrie Shahidi, because she, um...

• 2:06Speaker 00

  So many times, people would assume that I'm just an upbeat person. I think for the most part, day to day, smiley individual. But I think so many of the conversations we were having, particularly while I was in school, was just hitting that kind of mental block of, one, having a deep anxiety about what growing up looks like and feeling like what's happening when the anxiety and overwhelm are overshadowing the excitement of what's next. And also simultaneously in school, reading all of these theorists and people. I was in this year-long course for my major in which you have to read everyone from like Hobbes to Marx and every social theorist in between.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  Some dark stuff.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  Some dark stuff, but more than the dark content in their books, it was like you all lived dark lives. The amount of people that wrote a book and then became recluses or ended up, you know, separating from family, I think it meant top of mind for me was, oh, if this is something that I want to continue to study, what does that mean for me to prioritize quality of life? And so I was that annoying person in all of our discussion classes, like, but were they happy? But were they happy? And what does it mean if they weren't? And why are we taking this so seriously if they weren't happy?

• 3:20Speaker 02

  Interesting. Do you feel like you're happy right now?

• 3:23Speaker 00

  It's a good question. Today, yeah. Today, yeah. I think.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  On a scale of one to 10 of happiness, where have you been this entire year? One being miserable, 10 being, you know, elated, optimistic, positive, joyful.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  I think.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  On average.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  That's a good question. I feel like I'm a solid seven. Which, because I think the difference between even my life last year to this year was in knowing that there are natural ebbs and flows of emotions, because I think last year, as much as I could go through something and be really sad for an extended period of time, I always felt like that feeling was going to be permanent. And then I would snap out of it and then, you know, I'd forget, like, oh, yeah, everything is kind of temporary. I think this year I carry a knowledge that it's all temporary, which allows me to float through it a little more. But I think it's also.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  Kind of aligned with a lot of self-work of prioritizing what it means to take care of myself in a way that I wasn't a year ago, two years ago. And so I think that also helps because for the first time, I'm like, oh, I took seriously the idea of having tools to manage stress and challenges. Yeah.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  I mean, how did you manage the stress and challenges as kind of a rising child star from acting on TV and then going to one of the hardest universities in the world of like the pressure of both? Like, one of those at 18, 19 is a lot of pressure.

• 4:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  But doing Harvard and a top TV show and traveling across country every week, how did you manage your emotions, mindset, and mood throughout all of that?

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Honestly, yeah, and COVID, and COVID hit. That was crazy. Um, I think, starting a career early, the beginning, I didn't have to think about it much because I think the way my parents had set it up was like, oh, this is a hobby. This is something that you tap in and out of. But, you know, I was full-time enrolled in school. I had so many hobbies outside of acting. And, you know, people would laugh, casting directors would laugh because they knew if they wanted me or my brother to audition during the school week, like, they'd just kind of have to reconfigure some things. Because if I had a test or my brother had an important basketball game, life came first. But by the time Blackish came, that was the first time where I really had to re-anchor my life around being on TV in a way that I never had to before. And I think that was the first set of stresses and challenges. It was a great set to be on. But, you know, I'm number five on the

• 5:49Speaker 00

  call sheet. I'm not working every day. And so the idea that this was the first time I wasn't in school full-time in person, but I'm also not acting as much as I necessarily want to be on set. So you're just kind of in a trailer for hours.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  Waiting to do a couple lines, a couple scenes here and there.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  Right. And I like, love my castmates dearly, but having had such a full life beforehand, I think that was the first moment where we were like, okay, we have to do a little reconfiguring. And I think that was when mommy and I looked at each other and she was like, it's time for you to live your whole life again. So what else, what else is interesting you? I think that's when I became more publicly politically engaged and started doing voting work, started, you know, going to concerts, seeing my favorite artists, just really pursuing other things. So my free time became a little more well-rounded. And then by the time Grownish hit, once again, it was kind of a level up in terms of what the commitment was because I had turned, the industry termed legal 18 over the summer because I'd graduated.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  From university, from high school a year early. And so I forgot when I was getting my little high school diploma that this meant that I could work endless amount of hours. I may have been like, wait, I forgot to take a class. I still gotta be in high school. So by the time Grown is started, I went from working 10 hours to 17 hours a day.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  A day?

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, and given. We, we.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Now, you're in a trailer a lot of the time.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  Fine tune that. But also, I mean, I wasn't even in a trailer a lot for season one because my character was in both storylines. Where typically, you know, you have A storyline, B storyline, and actors kind of trade off between what the storyline is, and so you always have a break. First season, I was in every scene all the time.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  17 hour days?

• 7:32Speaker 00

  17 hour days, which I think it is what it is to be like a new show, we're on cable, we're just trying to prove ourselves. But I came from Blackish where we got a juice truck, we have trailers, we're a broadcast. And so it was funny because we would even sneak over to their craft services because they had it, they had it made. And we were just kind of like the, the little cousin trying to carve its own path. But yeah, I think that also was another moment where I had to learn how to take care of myself and what that looked like. Because it was my first real challenge of being like, oh, a lot is being expected of me. And I think there were a lot of conversations, luckily, coming from such a tight knit family,

• 8:16Speaker 00

  but also coming from the line producer and Kenya and other people coming from Blackish and having seen me since I was young. They were definitely able to approach it from, okay, she's a human first and foremost. But we had to have those conversations. And, you know, my mother had to have those conversations with a first A D that would be like, she doesn't need to eat right now. She's good, we gotta film this.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  To be like, no, we gotta see her as a, as a human being first, and then an actor second. And so I think adjustments were made along the way to then figure that out and what that rhythm looked like. And I'd go into the writers room every day, I'm like, please write my cast up. They're brilliant humans. Zoe does not need to be in everything.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  She is the opposite of what she needs to be in. And so, you know, it's nice to say that we hit a cadence, but then of course, always seeking a challenge. And I was like, great, I'll go to school. Now that my character's written down a little bit, I'll go to school full time. And I'd have to say, I did not have it down pat what it looked like taking care of myself.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Really? In terms of what, emotionally, spiritually, physically?

• 9:16Speaker 00

  All of the above. I think I've always been. A task oriented person and I think I put my own needs behind everything else, even when it's not being asked of me. Yeah, like oftentimes I say, the best way I can say is like, my goal is to take care of myself as well as the people around me take care of me. Cause I have such great examples around me of people that are like, yeah, you need rest and you need to rejuvenate. But I'm the first one to kind of throw that away and say, hey, I have a paper due, I have this due. So you know, my goner schedule became, oh, I'm pulling all nighters, I'm filming, pulling all nighters to do schoolwork and then going back to set.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 9:55Speaker 00

  And I think at the time, part of it was just what the moment necessitated. I don't know if there would have been many other ways to accomplish that. But I think what was hard was that I also didn't have for myself, a list of things to be doing to pour into myself. Whether that be physically, like as much as I look back at pictures of me in school, I was like, oh, I was ripped. Girl, that's a calorie deficit. You weren't eating. Yeah, I was like, that's not muscles. That's you're walking with basically a weighted vest, which is your backpack and forgetting to eat all day.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Man, that's incredible. So I mean, you mentioned before that you don't like challenges.

• 10:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was saying, yeah, I was saying.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  This seems like a challenge that you've been taking on for the last 10 years of your life.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think, I guess the way I'd put it is I know life consists of challenges. And at this point in my life, it's been a high priority to become friends with challenges because they don't excite me.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  They don't.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  I think.

• 10:57Speaker 02

  What's a challenge to you?

• 10:59Speaker 00

  I think.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  What does that look like that you don't want to do?

• 11:03Speaker 00

  It's more so, maybe another word is misalignment. Like I think to be a creative and to be in the production world, any kind of creative endeavor. Obviously there's a lot of passion behind it. There's a lot of business behind it. And there's so many times in which you hit bumps on the general road and. There's so many times I just get very, I get very disappointed. Like it somehow feels like when I, when we hit a challenge, let's say with a partner of being like, why aren't we on the same page about this?

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Out of alignment.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Why is this, yeah, when we're out of alignment, I think where I'm surrounded by people, they're like, all right, cool, this is just a cue that we need to realign. I'm like, oh, Lord, what's happening? What's happening in the world? Why is this happening? This should be so simple. I think a lot of that is also the fact that I love the creative industry, but in my mind, I'm like, what we do should be so straightforward. Out of, out of all the life-saving things that people do in the world that really do require a lot of challenges, why is creativity so challenging? And so it's part of what prompted the podcast because it was like, okay, a lot of the solves that I even experienced were just through conversations with friends, mentors and peers in certain rooms where they would kind of contextualize, is it a challenge or is it this?

• 12:19Speaker 00

  Is it a part of your personal alignment? And just in them sharing personal stories, I think it gave me a lot more context for the idea that I was just taking it too seriously, taking the, the sign of a challenge too seriously versus being like, it's just kind of a part of life.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  It's just life.

• 12:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gonna happen. It's not that you've done anything wrong or could have done anything better. It's just the process.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Where do you feel like you're out of alignment in your life right now?

• 12:45Speaker 00

  That's a good question. I, I think, you know, I think this is actually right now is the result of diagnosing the misalignment some months ago and being like, we're gonna meticulously find alignment. And so I'd have to say what's been most inspiring about right now is that creatively, we're working with people that we love. On the business side, it's like, oh, we have a team where it's like, we're all, even when we deal with the basic issues that kind of happen externally, as a team, we're all such a united front that it's also made those moments easier to get through because there's no kind of internal divide. We're on the same page now. It's just about how we, how we communicate that to the rest of the world. And so I think, yeah, I feel like I'm reaping the results of diagnosing misalignment.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Wow. When you think about your vision for yourself in the world and what you want to create, when you dream, when you imagine, when you're thinking about manifesting something or bringing something into reality, then do you?

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Put your body, or your mind, or your heart in a certain vibration? When you're thinking about dreams, ideas, alchemizing something, bringing it to life? Or is it just a part of your process? Where I'm just thinking about it, then I'm just taking the analytical steps? Like, how do you manifest the things you want in your life?

• 14:10Speaker 00

  Oh, that's a great question. I think there are many different ways. I think for some of the bigger things, it really is kind of... I don't know, I don't know the best way to say it, other than kind of getting downloads and moments of like, "Oh, I think that's next. I think this thing is next."

• 14:28Speaker 02

  What does that download come? Is that an analytical voice in your head? Is it a heart vibration? Is it... you just see something differently in the air? Like, what does that download look like?

• 14:42Speaker 00

  I think a lot of it is that feeling of when I get a wave of excitement. It's like, "Oh, that's interesting." That means that my curiosity has peaked. A lot of, I think, what I'm interested in tackling next comes from a wave of curiosity. Like, for some reason, this has grabbed my attention. And I really couldn't tell you why. It's not because, "Oh, it's the logical next step." I think whether that be, you know, the podcast starting as conversations, and then I think I wrote the name, "The Optimist Project," on like a random hotel, like a little pen and pad they had at the bedside. And then, and then the analytical side starts of like, "Okay, how do we bring this into the world?" But I think, yeah, a lot of it comes from that just kind of wave of,

• 15:27Speaker 00

  "Oh, I'm really curious by this. This keeps grabbing my attention. And if it's grabbing my attention, it must mean something." And it really ranges from even, as random as it may seem, for my kind of endorsement deals and fashion side. I remember at some random day, I was 18, and wrote down every deal that I wanted to have. And I don't typically think that way of being like, "Oh, I'm gonna get a this deal with this shoe company, this deal with this." But I'd just written down a list. And I think, two years later, I was like, "Oh, we did it all." Now what? Now what?

• 15:58Speaker 02

  You gotta write a new list.

• 15:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I think that's what's nice about the fact that our our team is also aligned in how we think and that it's like all of us get these waves of curiosity. And then we bring in the analytics to be like, now what? How are we going about it? And so it truly starts as a vision board. It starts as like, oh, what do we see?

• 16:15Speaker 02

  I love this. She had an amazing TED Talk and the quote that I wanted to pull from that that you said about curiosity. You said, chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention. And similarly, each of us, each and every one of us have a special set of interests that are totally unique to us like a thumbprint. So you say, please join me in recommitting the curiosity because honoring your so-called distractions is an act of creating. It's to sit in the grandeur of all of our options is to acknowledge our infinite possibilities. When the world tries to convince us it is indeed finite. So refuse to let your world get smaller and let's build new futures together. And I thought that was really cool from your TED Talk about

• 17:01Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  curiosities and allowing distractions. If it piques your interest to lean into that and see what's possible.

• 17:08Speaker 00

  So much of my path has truly been defined by honoring that random thought, honoring that feeling. I think going to school, I talked about it in that TED Talk, but going to school for me was honoring a distraction, especially within, within the, the scope of the industry and the idea that it's really unheard of to take that amount of time out of your career to go focus on a degree that you don't need for your career. Because I didn't go to study acting. I think it was what allowed me to enjoy acting again too, because I needed that balance. I'd always loved what we, we do, but again, going from a world where it was very strategic that we lived full lives

• 17:52Speaker 00

  and then we'd go act now and then to suddenly being a life where it's like, oh, this is what we do for eight months. And then those couple of months down are about promoting the thing that you did.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  There's no downtime.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  And then you go back into it. Yeah, school was that necessary balance and counterpoint of here's a world where Almost to an extreme, no one cares about what you're doing in the world. Every counselor I had was like, I really could care less about you being on television.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  They want you to get good grades.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, the amount of people that even told me, come back later when you're not working. And I was like, hey, six-year contract, friends, that's not happening anytime soon. It's now or never for me. But yeah, I was in an environment where they prioritized who I was as a student. And I think acting meant that school also had a balancing point. Because I think it's very easy to be in a cute little liberal arts environment with your books and feel like you solved the world.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  And you're not creating anything also.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, so it was also nice to have a business side to what I was doing, to be like, oh, but I also get to go make things in the world. I go think about things in the world, I go make things in the world. And it was nice after being in a space of just making things in the world, to go think about things.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's interesting. I mean, that's fascinating though, because you didn't need to go to school. You were, I mean, you were making, the degree you got, you know, you're making more money with the career you already had than the degree could give you, right?

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  And in anything, you know, if you're paying full tuition, you have debts for years that you have to pay off for the education. And so, were people thinking you were crazy that you were going to go to school? Because they're like, can't you just enjoy your life? And you're making so much money, and you're on TV, and you're famous, and you live in LA. Why would you want to go to the cold in Boston and pay all this money, whatever it is?

• 19:34Speaker 00

  I think it's why alignment has been the word of the hour. Because even how we selected my team, so when me and mommy and my prior manager had walked in to take all of the big meetings with, you have WME, UTA, CAA, other talent agencies, I was 16.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  And I already knew I wanted to go to school. I had been talking about it forever, but I knew I wanted to go to college. Yeah, I knew I wanted to go to college. Because even my high school career, we chose a program that wasn't even meant for actors so that I could maintain my full AP schedule, even though I was distance learning. And so, when we took those meetings, I was very clear about, hey, I plan on going to school in the next year, year and a half.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  If they're not on board, they're not for me.

• 20:21Speaker 00

  It was so telling. It was so telling, because many people had the general reaction of like, oh yeah, we had an actor try and go to school, and I sent him all the scripts that he was missing out on, and he dropped out in the semester. And for me, CAA and particularly the team that I have, they were the first ones in the room immediately to be excited about it.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  To really want that for me. And it's even funny to be out of school now and to think about certain team members who I love. That waited patiently, as I said, no to pretty much everything. Because I was like, I'm going to complete my obligation and my commitment to seeing through grown-ish as an actor and as a producer. But other than that, I wasn't taking on anything new. And so that was made possible because I think by the time it was time to go to school and make that decision, I was surrounded by people that understood and surrounded by people that were excited. But I think it did take a lot of weeding out early on of, yeah, those conversations of people that are like, yeah, why school?

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  I mean, having a career, honestly, was the most kind of privileged way to get into college because I was able to think about where my curiosities were. And I had so many friends because, like you're saying, because of the expense of it, because so many times, especially as like Black and Brown students, you're dealing with the reality like this may not even translate to a job offer, this Ivy League degree of mine. And so many friends have to prioritize what makes the best job offer, what makes the best resume. Whereas coming from a place where I was like, I have my career, I was able to take, oh, I'm taking a hip hop class, I'm taking a healthcare and morality class, I'm taking this random theory class. And ultimately, all of it contributed to my own growth in ways I wouldn't even be able to name when I was choosing the classes.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  But I think those classes wouldn't have even been on my radar if I went in the traditional sense and said, all right, I gotta make something of myself using this degree.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 22:11Speaker 00

  It gave me another level of freedom and being like, what? What am I interested in?

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Right, right. Let me try that stuff. Yeah, yeah.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Now, have you ever struggled with self doubt or the fear of failure?

• 22:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think fear of failure, feeler of hmm.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  Like rejection?

• 22:30Speaker 00

  I think, yeah, I, I think that's what makes the creative industry something that I'm always kind of. Personally, having to figure out how I want to engage and how do I move with confidence? Because part of why I liked school so much is that I got direct feedback every day that I was doing well. Like, it's kind of a perfectionist's dream. You know, being like in a, in an industry where it's even above you how many no's you deal with, how imperfect it is. I get grades. I get clear feedback on what I could do better next time.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  And you're in control of your results?

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  If I study hard, I get the answer right?

• 23:05Speaker 00

  Cause and effect. I did, I put the time in, I got a great grade. I put the time in for my thesis, summa, summa, great, cute. And so I think creativity presents self doubt for me because it's so informal in how you, in how I even self assess. What does doing well look like? And so many times, doing well can be attached to, again, results of being like, oh, I have a show on air. Oh, I, I made this happen. I'm promoting this project. And for me, prompted by, you know, even my own health journey, prompted by maybe the collision of graduating, finishing the show, all these things happening at the same time.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  I think I've now intentionally been prioritizing what are experiences that I'm, no, I'm not going to be great at and how do I move through it? Because it's even random stuff. I was on the American Bake Off, the, the American version of the British Bake Off.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Was it fun?

• 24:02Speaker 00

  It was so fun, but my, my.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  I love watching the show and even though I'm only really a sous chef in the kitchen, I was like, yeah, I'll do it. But truly, my first priority was like, don't get upset at the fact that you don't bake professionally and you're not about to come off as a professional baker.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  You're not good.

• 24:17Speaker 00

  No, because I, I think for me, I definitely, maybe it's just being public facing. I don't necessarily know where I got it from, but I definitely have a sense of like, I do things that I know I'm good at. But it was limiting in the sense that if I'm not good at it, I just am like. I don't know if this is for me.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  But now you're starting to lean into it.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  Leaning into it because we had even done, we had, we had created a show, it was called Yara's Day Off, and it was on Meta, and it was where I would go with guests to do their activity, their hobby. And boy, oh, boy, was that like an immersive therapeutic experience that I don't even know if I took away the biggest lessons from until like a year later because it was me making a fool of myself for 12 weeks, which I had never done of being like, I remember one time I had a guest, Alton, and he, he's an incredible gymnast. I cannot do a handstand. More than that, I have no desire to do a handstand.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  I've been in karate, I'm a black belt in karate. There are things that I like to do that I'm good at, but I say to the team, I'm like, hey, guys, I can't cartwheel, don't want to cartwheel. I'm down to try other things out, but just FYI. They call action. They're like, Yara, we're going to teach you how to cartwheel.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  I tell you, I went to the bathroom and shed a single tear because it was just such an embarrassing experience for me of being like, oh, I'm doing something. I, by the end of the learning session, I still couldn't cartwheel.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  And I think for me, that idea of not having that linear progress was, was really frustrating to deal with of being like, yeah, I know you have to grow in things, but as long as I see myself growing, I'm good. It's those moments where the growth is so granular and so small that I've had to continue to move through to be like, no, you got to wait it out. It may not be, you may not know how to cartwheel four times doing this. You may not know for the whole year. I still don't know. But my friends have signed, have signed me up to, to teach me.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 26:07Speaker 00

  Next week.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  What is it about not being good at something right away that bothers you?

• 26:14Speaker 00

  I mean, again, a question I ask myself. I think some of it is the public facing pressure of knowing the stakes of failure at times, knowing we don't, I think especially the time that Blackish came on air, you know, we're still one of the only, we, we were one of the only black families on broadcast. And so it also meant you're kind of a part of this small group of.

• 26:46Speaker 00

  Peep of actors that have this opportunity to be on prime time, you know, television every week for the whole world to see. And I think it just created this sense of responsibility of being like, oh, I want to be as responsible as possible. And I think however my brain worked, I moved being responsible to being, again, as correct as possible, moving as yeah, as properly as possible. And still couldn't tell you where I got it from because not how I was raised. I was raised under like, yeah, you make mistakes, you figure it out, that's part of life. Like you can fail and as long as you feel like you learned something, even just spiritually, worth it.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a success.

• 27:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't know exactly where it came from, but I could tell you, I also doubled down because people didn't believe that I was as, let's say, perfect or put together as I, as I presented. And I think that made me double down because I also didn't like dealing with the doubt of

• 27:38Speaker 02

  To look more perfect or to?

• 27:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, of just, I, I think there is a sense of perfectionism I deal with, but there's also like, I kind of landed on the planet this way of being like, yeah, I just was never a really drinker because I just never really had the desire to. It wasn't from some like, I can't drink because da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  I've never been drunk in my life.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  I mean, I know, I, I know I just started drinking, but I'm like, same, because I'm just like, either it has to taste phenomenal. Which most times it doesn't. And I think being introduced to drinking on a college campus where I'm like, the warm beer or warm orange juice, not appealing.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 28:11Speaker 00

  And I think to me, I was like, yeah, never done drugs, never desired to. It was never even a decision of, oh, I can't because that would look like this or that, never desired to.

• 28:20Speaker 02

  It's just kind of your makeup, yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, some of my makeup. And so I think a lot of times I felt as though people were challenging my makeup, as though I was moving super strategically, when it wasn't that. Of course, I definitely had a fear of failure, but I think the core tenets of who I am and how I move through the world came from authentically just how I landed here. And I think some of that, some of the attention I got for moving the way I did made me feel more, mm, what is the word? Made me feel like people were waiting for me to slip up.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Really?

• 28:55Speaker 00

  Because it was always so voiced, it was voiced to me so constantly, the more I did that feeling of being like, oh, But you know you can be just a regular kid. Like, I don't know why you think you need to do all this. I'm doing this because I want to do it. Like, I would not have been able to go through four years of school if I didn't want to be there. No one could have convinced me into that, flying back and forth.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  That's a lot of work, yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  No one could have convinced me into doing it like a voting initiative, unless I wanted to do that. And so, I think the mistrust people had, that it was coming from just truly who I am, and I have a team of people that were honoring who I am. It wasn't coming from external voices of like, you know what would look great?

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  But I think it made me skeptical, like, are people waiting for me to slip up? Are they waiting for me to be, I don't know, something that I'm not? And I think that definitely made me aware, more aware of how I came off in the world. Because before, I never questioned it.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:50Speaker 00

  Until I got the comments, I never questioned, like, why I was making certain decisions, because it was just kind of second nature.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Because it's who you were.

• 29:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's who I am. And so, I think that's something that I had had to move through, where the strategic thinking didn't come in until after I had heard, oh, people are kind of waiting for me to slip up, for whatever reason.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Right. So what's your biggest fear moving forward now? You've had so much success from TV and film, and, you know, graduated Harvard, and all the things you're creating. What is the fear moving forward?

• 30:19Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. Well, I think, honestly, the fear moving forward has been

• 30:28Speaker 00

  has been not living authentically. I think I spent, luckily, I don't think I was in that headspace for too long, but I think, again, feeling like, okay, people are waiting for me to slip up. Okay, I need to be on my Ps and Qs. Also, just having an immense responsibility of being like, I'm on a show. That needs me to be on my A-game. It doesn't matter if I didn't sleep. Doesn't matter if I have to catch a flight. I'm at a school that needs me to be on my A-game. Doesn't matter if I was working. I can't write at the end of the paper, sorry, I was on set. So this is why this is like this. I was writing my thesis, and in that week, right before leading up to my thesis, we were in Paris, Dubai, LA for work. And then I landed, and I had 48 hours to turn in my thesis in person. And again, an abundance of opportunities and things I'm grateful for.

• 31:12Speaker 00

  But I think after graduating, and after, again, kind of my general health journey and what that spurred for me mentally, I think it's been The fear now has been not learning from all of that.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  You don't feel like you've learned from it?

• 31:28Speaker 00

  I think I have. I'm saying that the fear to me would be if I don't continue to take it as seriously. If I slip up from all the learnings that I've had in the last year, two years. And I've made such great leeway, I feel like, in being able to show up as myself, show up authentically. And so I think as I figure out what that next phase of life looks like, what that next phase of career looks like, I think, I don't know whether it's a fear, a want, a wish, I think my wish is to maintain and hold on to with a fierceness, this feeling of authenticity that's been curated and created.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  How do you navigate other people's opinions about you? Whether they're directed towards you, speaking to you about their opinion, or just online, or just what you think people are thinking about you, how do you navigate opinions?

• 32:18Speaker 00

  You know, I think it was a great therapy session that I was in, where she asked the question, "How do you feel about people?" And I think as simple as that was, it changed the game for me because I was so

• 32:32Speaker 00

  curious about what people thought of me. And it wasn't even about, I was able to opt out of what people thought of me publicly pretty quickly. And by just opting out, we realized like being on Twitter is not mandatory. Like, you may feel like it's mandatory, isn't. Getting off of Twitter, great feeling for the spirit.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  You know, getting off of TikTok, not looking myself up, all those things were, I think, adjustments and things that I was able to learn in real time and get support to be like, alright, this is how I'm going to navigate the fact that I'm a public person, you need all these social media things for your job. But you don't have to engage in this way of being super accessible all the time and always looking at what people are saying. So luckily, that was a lesson that I think I learned in real time and was able to learn from. But in terms of like just interpersonal relationships, I think it's the nature of just, my job is, when you're in an audition room, half of it is acting well, but also being liked. Like, and so I think it made me aware of what people thought of me.

• 33:31Speaker 00

  And I'd like to think it didn't take up too much of my brain space, but particularly if I was at events. I'm like, I'm so preoccupied with how am I coming off right now? Even the idea of I'm working.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Thinking about it at events, like here's how I'm coming off or how am I coming off?

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Even that feeling of it's, it sounds so silly. It's a good problem to have, but here I am coming in with my little Harvard degree. And again, seeming so put together that I'm putting in an extra effort to seem super chill. I'm super laid back. Like, I know you know me as the kid that multitasked Harvard in the show, but.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  But I'm relaxed.

• 34:01Speaker 00

  I'm relaxed. The thing is, I am relaxed, but I was doing this other like layer of performing because I knew that people saw me as this like type A, getting things done person. Or even if I'm at events and not drinking, then there's a lot of questions. Cause if you don't say, oh, it's because I'm sober or I have this weird hard and fast rule. Unfortunately, you still get a lot of questions like, why is that?

• 34:25Speaker 02

  It never stops.

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Right. So now I, my issue is I'm like, I drink Coca-Cola at events just to have something in my hand. But now I'm drinking so much soda that I never intended to drink.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Just drink water.

• 34:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  sparkling water is my go to.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  I know, but I'm saying for some reason, within this age demographic, getting water is even more like, wow. You think you're all that, you're drinking water.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  But why, why care about, why care about what people think about you?

• 34:48Speaker 00

  Precisely. So I, anyway.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  Who cares what they think?

• 34:51Speaker 00

  After drinking a ton of soda and being.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  Poison their brains, you know, it's like, why care when someone is poisoning themselves? Thinks about you being healthy.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  And I think that's truly the work. I think I knew immediately, okay, this is something to sort through because my journey is not drinking this much soda to make people feel comfortable, as simple as that was. My journey is not doing all of this, this extra work to seem chill because I think they think that I'm this way. And so I, I say that to say, I was, I was talking through it with my therapist and she was like, oh, well, how do you feel about the people that you meet? And I realized I wasn't developing an opinion. I was so kind of preoccupied with what they thought I was like. And as simple as that was, going into events and going into spaces checking in with how I was enjoying myself

• 35:38Speaker 00

  has gotten rid of, almost immediately, all of the little thinking and like notes I made in my head about, "Oh, I wonder if that was awkward. I wonder how they feel about that. I wonder da-da-da-da." But yeah, I was prompted by me going to this event and knowing immediately. I was like, I'm so in my head. And here I am in a beautiful room with beautiful people. It's a privilege to be here. It should feel like a privilege. It shouldn't feel like this, this constant job. And so luckily I had learned, she had asked me that question almost like a couple of days after, because I was like, it's time to work through this. And I really did feel such an immediate twist in being like, "Oh, if I am always asking myself how I'm feeling, there's just less room and space to ask myself how they're feeling about me."

• 36:20Speaker 00

  Still not perfect. I still have my moments, but it definitely made a big shift in just how I move.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 36:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  When you have a big casting, a big meeting, a big event you're going to where it seems big, right? In grand scheme and things, maybe it's not, but it seems like, oh, this could be a big opportunity. I'm meeting someone that could influence my career, or whatever it might be. What is the intention you set before going to the events, the meetings, and situations where you know this could change the trajectory of my career or future?

• 36:56Speaker 00

  I think part of the positive part, thing in suspending the traditional cause and effect, if I do this super well, then this is going to happen for me because of this event or because of this meeting. I've started to have more kind of personal self-development goals and less career goals when I go into those things.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Like what?

• 37:18Speaker 00

  Meetings. Again, it's being honest. Like, my goal in this meeting is to be as honest as possible about where I am, how I'm feeling. And it happened even last week. I was in a director's meeting and it was a, Great meeting. I liked the person, but they had some questions on the fact that I live such a straight and narrow life and whether I'd veer from that for the sake of a role, whether. And it was nice, where I think I typically would have just kind of laughed my way out of it and then had the team handle like, oh, tell them there may be a misalign.

• 37:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm hoping they're doing this and that.

• 37:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. It was so nice to have the wherewithal to be like, hey, yeah, I don't think that's a jury I'm interested in going on. I'm not excited by that.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  So you were honest with them?

• 37:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I said it in the meeting, and I think that was really new for me, to be like, I have the feeling?

• 38:00Speaker 02

  All right.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  I know where to have the courage.

• 38:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I think it was setting.

• 38:04Speaker 02

  It takes a lot of courage.

• 38:04Speaker 00

  It was setting intention of saying, oh, if my goal is honesty, if my goal is finding what excites me, then it changes how I move in these rooms. And I honestly feel so much better about it, because the times that you, that I've gone in, I speak in second person at times, the times I've gone in to, to a meeting with the idea of they are the keepers of this opportunity or thing, I feel like I short-circuit, just because it's like, what are you supposed to do with that information? Like, how does that change how you affect, like, relate to somebody or how you show up in the world? And so I think the idea of having fun at events, as simple as that is, that's so much, so many times been the intention. Let's say it's the Met Gala, and I think there was, it's always like a high-energy

• 38:48Speaker 00

  thing, but I think we realized pretty quickly, it shouldn't be high stress.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  Again.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Stop on, yeah.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  It's a fundraiser. It's a fundraiser. People spend X amount for you to show up and get your team out there, for you to look a certain way. And so it's nice, because when we've been intention-setting, it's been like, no, the priority is having fun and having a new experience. The priority is being open. And so the intentions change time to time, but I think as of late, they've really been more so about, in my 24 years of life, what am I looking, what experiences am I looking for in myself? What things am I trying to unlock for myself? And it has.

• 39:29Speaker 00

  Pretty immediately affected how I show up in rooms because yeah, I used to feel as though I was auditioning for things, but even in in non-audition settings, like it feels like, oh, it's an audition.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Really? What do you feel like now?

• 39:44Speaker 00

  I think it's just an opportunity. It's just another day. I think it's just another day. It's another opportunity to learn about myself. I think especially in an industry where I'm grateful that the question that I'm being asked more than anything is what do I want? And I'm not 100% certain. I have ideas. I have things that, again, pique my curiosity, but I have no hard and fast. This is where I want to be in five years. This is what I want to do. My top priority right now has truly been, I want to have new experiences. I've been in school for 16 years of my life. I've been on a show for 10 years. And I'm grateful that those have been net positive for me, like things that I've really enjoyed doing. But it means that even as an actor, I've been acting for 20 of my 24 years,

• 40:26Speaker 00

  and there's still so many experiences I've never even had on a set. And so I think it's been nice, even honoring the uncertainty in times where I think, no, my job is to come in super certain. Like, you know what I want? My, I want...

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Right now, you're not clear. You're like, I'm on, I'm open. I'm not sure.

• 40:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm unclear in a great way, in that I'm like, there's so much that excites me right now.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  How does that feel, though, to be on, you know, not having a current show, I guess, on TV, when you've had, you know, 10 years of success with that? And not knowing what the next, I guess, big project on TV or film will be? Do you feel at peace about that? Where most people in transition would be like, when am I going to book the next thing? I'm going to make money, or if I'm not relevant, then who am I? Do you feel about, how do you feel about that?

• 41:10Speaker 00

  I mean, I think the thoughts are inevitable now and then. I'd have to say it's not a main thought I have, primarily because of how kind of diversified. My interests are what we're involved in. I think that's where having the production company is really beautiful because while there are projects that I'm connected to that may start filming soon, but you just, again with this industry, you never know. It's nice to be like, we have our hands in things that inspire us, that get us to wake up and do the work every day. I think today, there should be a script coming in. We're very excited to read, but it's from a project that started with myself, Carrie, an incredible other producer across from us, an incredible writer, looking at each other and saying,

• 41:53Speaker 00

  "Oh, we want to be in business together. We just enjoy how we all move. We're all from the Midwest." So I think that also helps. Yeah. Very similar sensibilities amongst the team. But I think that is really helpful, the fact that I, whether it even be like, I loved doing college tours and public speaking at colleges. I was in North Carolina last week. I was in Boston the week prior. And I think having those things are very anchoring because it feels like I'm not sitting here literally waiting for the call. Because there is a real pressure to it. Auditioning, I think what's funny is that it is so not personal and so personal at the same time because it's extremely subjective. And there's nothing you did right or wrong, most of the times, because they're putting so many puzzle

• 42:37Speaker 00

  pieces together. It's, it could be your height. It could be like, oh, they have a new vision for the character. And so I think those feelings of doubt and those feelings of, okay, what's next will always be there. But I feel like having a very well-rounded world has allowed me to enjoy the challenge of that and has allowed me to then, even as an actor, prioritize. Working on television is a very different thing because it's a job. You're working for eight months. You're doing 20 episodes. You're doing 18 episodes, 13 episodes. The edits of the lines are happening day of. You're getting your script and getting rewrites as you're heading to set. And it teaches you kind of how to be a professional actor, but it doesn't necessarily, if you don't prioritize it, teach you process and what,

• 43:20Speaker 00

  what do you enjoy as an actor? Because I'm like, yeah, my skill set is learning lines incredibly fast. It's how do I get this end result? I mean, I come from... You know, my bubba's a director DP, so I'm thinking that Steadicam is super heavy, the little rig that they have to wear. I need to get my lines out as fast as possible. Because I'm thinking about everybody else on set. And so I think it's actually been really exciting to be kind of in this kind of theatrical, more film-centered part of my life, where it's really been about what is my process as an actor? Because I was approaching the other sets as a producer, and I know how behind we are. I know what we're supposed to be shooting. I know our schedules. Yeah, so I wasn't necessarily giving myself the space to play.

• 44:02Speaker 00

  I'm happy with what we did, I'm happy with the set environment, but I think the space to play is kind of what I've been given now. Even just in auditions, of being like, oh, my task is how do I do something I typically wouldn't have. At an audition yesterday morning that I was taping, and it was just really, what was most fulfilling was that feeling of, oh, I'm really happy I did this process. Because that was something new for me, and I wouldn't have done that typically. And so that felt like the win in that.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  How do you not take it personally when you're auditioning for something, and you spend a few days or a week imagining, you know, and practicing and rehearsing what you're gonna do, and getting really excited and investing in the character, and then pouring your heart out in front of, you know, whether it's taped or in person, and then crickets, or it's a no, or going in a different direction? How do you deal with the rejection, or the not getting the part?

• 44:52Speaker 00

  I honestly, it's where community plays a big part. Like, I'm grateful that mommy and I are business partners, because I think not only do we make the business side of it fun, and we'll think similarly in that business side, and then she thinks beyond even where I imagine, but she's also invested in me as a human being. Not as a client, not as an actor they're trying to get on a job. And so when I think about her, and I think about even the rest of the team that I have around me, they're great people to talk to. So I do get to pick up the phone and be like, yeah, that kind of hurt a little bit. That stings a little bit. And have people to talk through it with. So rather than trying to avoid the feeling, I think the more I've just, the quicker I've leaned into the feeling, the quicker I'm through it. And the more I've tried to hold off and be like, that's fine, they went in another direction.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  Man, it doesn't hurt me at all.

• 45:38Speaker 00

  Onto the next. The more I'm spending time at night actually being like, oh, that kind of stung. But, you know, I remember getting a note even a couple months ago for a director session that my, that I had a very particular cadence. And that's something that didn't necessarily make me a fit for the character.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  They said you had a particular cadence.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  Given. It was because you have agents asking for notes, like, well, she got so far, so what could it be?

• 46:03Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  And so it wasn't like they called, like, hey, her cadence is so off, she doesn't have it. It was after asking, hey, what is it? They said cadence. And I remember just kind of being stuck on it for a second, because I'm like, do I? I mean, I know I have particular speech patterns. I have to do voiceover for the show all the time, so I'm always hearing myself talk. But I think that was a really funny instance, because one, there's very little you can do about how you speak. But it was actually a great, it was like the perfect exercise, where it wasn't personal enough to super sting. It wasn't like, yeah, she looked funny. Like, you know, it was something that was just a little bit annoying, and it was just a great exercise in how am I gonna move through this? How am I gonna talk through this? How am I gonna just kind of keep it pushing?

• 46:48Speaker 00

  And I ended up keeping it pushing, because at the end of the day, it was like, yeah, they handed out a note, because they feel like you have to give an actor something to hold on to, especially when you make it really far in a process. And it's what they thought of. And they have every right. They have a vision of the character that I only kind of approximated, and the vision of the character also being on the producing side of the things, I've seen casting sessions, and it was so enlightening, because when you go in as an actor, you don't realize how much is happening around you that has absolutely nothing to do with you. The producer shaking their head in the corner, not having anything to do with your performance, they're handling some line item. And so being on the other side, when we did Grownish and seeing those sessions, I was like, oh my god.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  This is like the best, this is the best education, because it meant that in auditions, I already know there's so much happening, and I just happened to walk into the room right now.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:40Speaker 00

  And so some of your reaction is gonna be about me, some of it. Like, you're not even gonna have an opinion about me till I leave the room and you watch the tape the next day, because so much is happening.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  And you gotta see all the people that have auditioned, and it's like, okay, maybe you're not the right fit at the beginning, but two days later, oh, that person was great, actually.

• 47:56Speaker 00

  Absolutely. There's so many times where it's like, oh yeah, that, the height doesn't work out, because we just cast this person that's really tall, or oh, you know, now that I've seen all these people, I have this new idea for this character, and I may not have even said it in the room, but they're able to, they're allowed to honor their creative instincts, because that's their job. And so I think my job is to honor mine.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, and try not to take it personally.

• 48:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Try not to. What is the emotion that you do really well on camera, but struggle in life?

• 48:29Speaker 00

  That's a great question. I think being frustrated. I have a character, my character Zoe for the last 10 years, she's always perplexed about something, always a little frustrated by the people around her for something that they did. And I'm actually proud of her. She voices what she's upset about pretty immediately, all the time. And I think that's something that I don't always do. Because my, I'm working through this again, but I think so much of my personal process is, let's say I get annoyed by something, I go, why am I annoyed by that? Why is that annoying me? And I automatically think of it as just internal work I gotta go sort out. And I think there's some truth to that. But I also think there's certain external variables that are just annoying. That you have a right to say are annoying.

• 49:15Speaker 00

  And so I think I've, I've been on a journey of finding the middle ground of like, I can't always internalize, oh, there's something about that that made me angry. Why am I angry about that? Let me go figure that out at my own time. It has nothing to do with that person. Sometimes it has something to do with that person. And it's important to voice that. And so my character does a really good job of that. And I think in many ways, it's what's fun about playing a character that's so opposite of who I am for so long was that, it's like, I wish every teenager, imagine going through puberty and having an alternate world with no consequences, where you got to just be a different person. Like, it's a real treat.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  To be like, oh, I never, I never am inclined to yell in real life, but here I am on set screaming.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  It's kind of fun.

• 49:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. I get paid to do this. A real win.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  What is the biggest challenge with having success, fame and money at a, at a young age?

• 50:07Speaker 00

  I think anecdotally, it's the feeling of have I peaked? Because there's always that feeling of why is this coming? Sometimes there's a ideal, the question of why is this coming easily? Why, why is this coming easily?

• 50:23Speaker 00

  You know, I've, I've had, I've just felt very lucky in that I wasn't the kid that woke up and said I had to be an actor. For me, it was, I have a creative urge and instinct. I started in printing commercials. I said no to auditioning for my first movie when I was seven because I'm like, I love printing commercials. I go play. Like, I play, and half the time, I'm playing with my family.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Just taking photos.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm taking photos or a commercial, like, you're hula hooping. You're biking. You're just doing different things. And so, when I had done my first movie at seven, I think what unlocked in me, again, wasn't even the instinct of, oh, I have to do this for the rest of my life, but was, that was a lot of fun. I learned how to ice skate. I got to make pancakes. I got to work with these cool people. That was super fun. And I think, because, again, I've always had this diversity of interests, in some ways, as much as I think every actor, and I'm always dealing with rejection and misdirection, it's come kind of easy. In that, I'm like, I've gotten to go to school and be on a show. That's unheard of. And they made it happen.

• 51:31Speaker 00

  After a call, it took a lot of work, but after a call, they were on board. There was no convincing that had to happen. I think if it wasn't for COVID, they were going to move the entire shooting schedule to the summer. So I just had an unencumbered year. Again, unheard of. And that comes from everybody, from the president of ABC to the president of Singularity, to the president of, to the line producer, all working in tandem.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  Do you ever feel guilty for how easy it's been?

• 51:55Speaker 00

  I think that's the flipside feeling of like, is this right? Is this right that it comes with ease? But I think, I've started to realize ease is the alignment. And it's because...

• 52:07Speaker 02

  It should, there should be ease.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, when there's alignment, there's ease. And I think, the thing I've been and my family's always been is pretty discerning. There's still ways to become more discerning, but I think, I was like, oh, some of the ease is because there's been such a discernment of, pretty immediately, of like, oh, that's not for us.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  Oh, that's not supposed to be for us. And so.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  You haven't said yes to every shiny opportunity. You've been like, no, no, no, this is for us. We're gonna do it. I like this.

• 52:34Speaker 00

  Mm hmm. And I mean, there've been challenges within that, but for the most part. I'm like, the fact that macro, I'm not walking out with any crazy stories about being on set as a child actor.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:44Speaker 00

  I'm not walking out with any crazy traumas from, from 10 years on set.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 52:48Speaker 00

  Like, I'm like, what, how lucky?

• 52:50Speaker 02

  When you're hearing all these other child actors coming out about.

• 52:52Speaker 00

  All these other stories, you know, I have a, a family that takes pride in us as individuals, both me and my brothers handling our money and, and having a grasp of money management. So I'm like, we've never had a fear that one day it's gonna be gone. Cause I know where it all is, you know?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  You don't have any money wounds or traumas, huh?

• 53:09Speaker 00

  I was doing an interview about money yesterday and they're like, so what were your money troubles? And I'm like, you gotta see how I was raised. I'm so, again, I feel so lucky. I'm like, I was raised with a family that was so intentional about being like, we want you to feel in charge and autonomous and we're here to guide you. But I was going, mommy set it up so I'd go make friends with accounting at Blackish and I'd go pick up my check every week, where typically you don't see it as an actor. It gets sent to your team. And then you see kind of the end result. I got to see it. I got to see how much the percentages were. I got to see what the taxes were and I was able to check. I remember one time there was a wrong amount on my check and I was savvy enough at 14 to be like, hey, this isn't the right amount.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 53:47Speaker 00

  They're like, oh yeah, you're right. Um, so I'm saying like I, like, I, again, it is easy to feel guilty to be like, why have I, why have I had it so good? In the, in the general scheme of things. And I, I really couldn't tell you why, but, but I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that even on this road to self-discovery, I do have to say I've known myself pretty well. And so.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 54:12Speaker 00

  I'm, I'm realizing that some of this is the result of having known myself and continuing to learn myself.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, it sounds like your parents have been an amazing.

• 54:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Foundation for you for knowing yourself, being yourself, you know, empowering you to step into yourself.

• 54:29Speaker 00

  So quirky, you know?

• 54:31Speaker 02

  It's amazing.

• 54:31Speaker 00

  Like it did not cross my mind.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  It's interesting that the first thing we talked about, I don't know if it was when we were rolling or right before, you mentioned how you wanna learn how to build mental fortitude and how to overcome challenges.

• 54:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Is it feel like, I mean, because it kind of sounds like from your perspective, what I'm hearing is that you haven't had a lot of challenges in your life. Like it's come pretty easily. I'm sure you've had to, yeah, work eighteen hour days and fly back and forth from Harvard to LA and do like work at a high level.

• 55:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  But not a lot of extreme adversities is what I'm hearing. Is that what I'm hearing?

• 55:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think, I mean, part of it.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Like intense work and effort, but not extreme adversities.

• 55:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I think for me, there are two things I realize. One, I think I minimize maybe some of the challenges I do face.

• 55:20Speaker 02

  Well, also dealing with a lot of pressures from just being in the industry and all these different things.

• 55:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, so it's funny, I think some of it is that because I've moved through it, eventually, sometimes I think my ability to look back with the rose colored lenses, I'm like, no challenges.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it wasn't that hard.

• 55:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, mind you, while we were in it, deeply challenging. So some of it is that I do know I'm minimizing past challenges. And I'm trying to come to terms with just being more honest with that. But I think some of it too is just knowing, again, coming back to the cause and effect thing, so many things happen to good people, so many, yeah, so many things you can't account for. It has nothing to do with how morally upstanding you are, has nothing to do with how many resources you have, what you have, what you don't have. And I think maybe it's just, maybe it's hitting my quarter life crisis a little, a couple of months early. But I think I hear, I hear stories of what people go through, whether it's, it's family members passing, certain things like that.

• 56:18Speaker 00

  And I go, would I be willing, would I be not able to overcome, willing to overcome? I think I have the capacity to do things, but I'm like, do I have the willingness?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Really?

• 56:28Speaker 00

  To, to see a challenge and, and push through it. I'm always, part of it comes from just my genuine amazement of, of the courage that people muster in times that. Feel almost impossible, at least outside looking in. So maybe some of it, it just, it comes from that space of like, I'm truly amazed. I can't wrap my mind around it when I hear other people's stories of like, what made you double down and push through these hard moments? Again, part of why we started the podcast was being like, I want to hear. What, what did make you go through that? And it's been really clarifying to me because I think it almost felt like there's some sort of magical alchemy that I, I couldn't name that's happening versus like, no, it's, it's

• 57:09Speaker 00

  a mixture of human perseverance and the fact that hopefully, God willing, what, the traits that you need come to you when you need them. The qualities that you need come to you when you need them. And so that's helping me make sense of it. But I think for me, I'm like, what is the mental fortitude regimen? That, that helps us as young people just continue to build a sense of not even just discipline in terms of schedule, but discipline in terms of being like, I know what my mind is doing. I'm kind of aware of it.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  That's interesting.

• 57:41Speaker 00

  I'm able to move through this. I'm able to move through the inevitable losses we're going to deal with, challenges we're going to deal with, the things I can't account for.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's really insightful though.

• 57:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. So it's been top of mind, but I, I don't know how helpful it is to be thinking about it too much.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Because, because I think, um, you know, if you're not willing to invest in doing hard things now, you're going to experience a lot of pain later.

• 58:04Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  And it's going to be a lot harder to manage them mentally, emotionally.

• 58:07Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  And so learning how to navigate your own minds at this age and investing in, I'm going to, which I don't think people should say, I'm just going to experience pain all day so that I'm prepared for pain later and it doesn't hurt me as much. Cause I really do believe life should be about creativity and flow and joy and love and fun. I believe that's what we should be focusing on and intending to create every day if we can.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  How can we bring joy and love and service to this moment? And how can I be my creative, authentic, honest self, like you talked about, which is alignment. And when we're in alignment, things flow to us easily and we can see and discern things like you talked about. But I do believe there is a, a level of Time every day where there's discipline where I'm gonna say no to temptations or no to the coke all day or no to the alcohol all day or no to partying every day

• 58:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  all night or to only fun extreme things. Because if you're not fortifying your mind, it will be hard to face adversity later when it will come. It will hit you hard. It'll be unexpected and it will hit you. And if you're not preparing little by little, it's gonna be daunting.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  I think that's the thought that keeps me up, which is what should I be doing? Do you feel like you've always been disciplined?

• 59:27Speaker 02

  No, no. I mean, as a kid, I was confused and scared and, you know, rebellious and, you know.

• 59:33Speaker 00

  But even as like a college athlete like that, that's something even if I was flying back and forth and doing all of that, my friends that were waking up at 5 a.m. every day, I was like.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  No, I learned it, I mean, in high school, I learned how to be disciplined because then I had a goal of sports.

• 59:48Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:49Speaker 02

  And so it was 5 a.m., you know, I was waking up at 5 a.m. and doing study hall and reading the Bible in the morning. I went to private boarding school when I was 13, so it was like very strict in terms of like you study from 6 to 8, you go to bed, you get up, you work out, all these things.

• 1:00:03Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  And, um, and in college, when it was like you didn't have the house parents in the dorm kind of telling you what to do. You had to create your schedule. But I was so clear in my vision and my dream that I was willing to sacrifice anything.

• 1:00:17Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  So I would give up all of the fun of life.

• 1:00:20Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  You know, I would have fun, but I wanted to do the things that people said were fun. Drinking and going out and do these things. I was like, that's not fun to me.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  That's a great way of naming it because I think that's something I've struggled to name of being like, it's not that I'm sacrificing these things. It's not a sacrifice. I wasn't interested.

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  Wasn't interested, yeah. And, um, learning that skillset of disciplining my mind to say no and to be okay with people not understanding me. That was the scary thing because I wanted to have friends.

• 1:00:49Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Because I kind of felt alone as a kid, so I wanted friends, but they didn't understand me because I was going off chasing a dream. And I was, you know, getting up at 5 or going to bed at 10 or whatever it was. Because I was committed to something.

• 1:01:03Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  You know, and so maybe people didn't understand you. Oh, you're on set eighteen hours a day. Like, just come hang out with us after school. We're just like going to go hang out and run down L.A. or whatever, you know, so. But you're like, no, this is fun to me. And this is part of a dream and a curiosity that I'm leaning into.

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:19Speaker 02

  And it's providing financial abundance and opportunities that are going to set me up for my future.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  So it's just making a decision.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  But I think, do you think a lot of your peers, in terms of people your age, struggle with discipline? And they just chase fun and, you know, hours of social media distraction that isn't supporting their vision?

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  I'd have to say it's fifty fifty. I'm pretty lucky to feel surrounded by people that are chasing a dream. And all of it looks very different.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:50Speaker 00

  Some of them I don't even understand, but I see the passion. And so I think just by the nature of maybe just who I've ended up in community with, I'm surrounded by people where I feel like, generationally, there are a lot of people that are moved by, whether it's their art or their career. I think I saw that both in the creative landscape. I saw that at Harvard. And so.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  But you've been in communities of people at the top of the top. These are people that are like, working full time, that are in the acting world or the production world, or Harvard, which is a very elite level of like commitment.

• 1:02:22Speaker 00

  But I think even in the creative space, what was a good example is I'm like, all my friends are the top of the top now, but they didn't start that way.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:02:28Speaker 00

  And so many of them had really interesting, kind of non-traditional ways of getting into their respective field, which require just a lot of belief in self. Not necessarily traditional schooling to be a musician, traditional this to be that. And so in that regard, I see a lot of discipline there. And I think what's funny is I hang out with people that all have bedtimes, that are like, well, I'm cool tapping out. And also people that are very sure about what is fun to them and participate in like, oh, this is what's fun to me. It's different for each of us, but it's cool to be like, oh, yeah, people are only showing up because this is enjoyable to them. And they have felt freed of showing up for the sake of showing up.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  But that's a lot of people that are like, again, who are striving to be at the top, that are very creatively talented, that are in elite rooms. But that's not, I wouldn't say that's most twenty year olds or twenty-four year olds, or people in their late teens right now in America, right?

• 1:03:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. I think it's, it's, it's a mix. Like, when I see somebody like. My, my little brother, sixteen, we're technically same generation. It feels like a world of difference.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  What generation is that?

• 1:03:30Speaker 00

  Gen Z. It's technically Gen Z still. And, you know, he's someone that's also very creatively inspired. But I think the difference that I see is that even having like Instagram didn't come about till I was thirteen. And even though that was young, it was enough time for my brain to have had a life before social media. And it was, sorry, it was years before it became a regular part of my life.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:53Speaker 00

  And it was years before we were using that to compare. So I just feel like I had more mental tools about how to deal with it. Still hard, still on my phone way too much. I, I turn on grayscale at random times to be like, let me, I don't know, does it disrupt the serotonin? I don't know the science behind it, but I'm like grayscale. But I think the thing that I see is like, oh, their world is so busy all the time. That I can't even blame the feeling of distraction because I'm like between all the news that's being intaken. And between the fact that I feel like when I was growing up, I was only preoccupied with the life that I was living. Because there was no.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  You weren't watching everything online about every problem in the world all at once.

• 1:04:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, and there was also no way of seeing the life that even my friends were living. Except for the handful of times we were having a playdate.

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  A handful of times.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm like, there was just no way of checking in on that.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  And they could see everything all at once.

• 1:04:44Speaker 00

  And I think even like creatively, like I've had the privilege of being in all these luxury fashion spaces. But that was all tied to work. I did not find myself in any of those stores prior to working with these brands.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:04:54Speaker 00

  Because it just wasn't on my radar.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:56Speaker 00

  The way my brother has friends where it's like, oh, they know all of it, all the time. They're tracking Fashion Week.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:05:02Speaker 00

  And I was like, I think I learned what Fashion Week was when I got an invite to attend because I was working in this space. I didn't have, again, all these worlds I was checking in on that didn't have anything to do with me right now. And so I, I do feel like there's a particular challenge and I have a lot of empathy for just generationally, that feeling of what are we going to do with this information overload where it's even hard to parse apart? What do I need to intake? I'm a severe over news listener and I think my task has been listening to a little less news. Because it's like, there's only so much you can do about it and it pushes, at least for me, I think it pushes me into a space of, of feeling very overwhelmed versus feeling activated. So I've been trying to be like, okay, what amount of news makes me feel activated?

• 1:05:46Speaker 00

  But not overwhelmed.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, one of the things, uh, you know, my. Early on, I was just taught never to watch news and entertainment. Just get updates. You know, because you can easily emotionally, especially if you're empathetic, you can be like, 10,000 people died today in this other part of the world. Like, what is wrong with you? You could, that can take over your whole life. One person died in my town and there was a shooting. That could take over your whole life. And if you're seeing it sensationalized, if you're entertained through the visual expression, sound, audio, video, making it like a movie, it's, for me, it's exhausting. So I can't watch the news.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  I can read it and be informed and educated and be like, okay.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  And just, but the entertainment of it or the clips of it just constantly, it's just, I don't think it's good for the brain. And I think building mental fortitude is learning how to block out that and say, how can I be educated and updated, but not entertained by fear?

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, and some of it is a great point because some of it was that I've always been an audiophile. We grew up in a house where we didn't watch TV except for Saturdays for an hour, which I love, but it meant that I love audio. That is my form of entertainment. And so you're absolutely right. There was a time, even though I don't know if I would call it that while I was listening.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's different.

• 1:07:08Speaker 00

  That it was more so like, oh, I'm listening to NPR.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's different.

• 1:07:11Speaker 00

  You're listening to NPR so much that they're sending you free merch. That may be a cue. That may be a cue that you're listening to too much NPR. Because I was like, I have the app on my phone. I'm not even waiting till I'm in the car. I'm listening all the time. I'm waiting for the midday update. I'm waiting for the end of the day update. I'm cycling through local news. I'm typing in local stations. And so I think changing that, because then I was listening to political podcasts at night. I was falling asleep to them. I was like, oh, bedtime, time to turn on.

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  And every, every news channel and every political podcast has their bias and their opinion. And so they're going to be, you know, spreading opinions one way or another. But when you read it. And you just read the updates. Usually you're just saying, okay, this is what happened.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:07:53Speaker 02

  And you can form your own opinion, you know, that's what I've learned.

• 1:07:55Speaker 00

  I love NPR because I'm like, it is pretty, it is pretty straightforward. But I think for me, the amount I was consuming of just of like every podcast available, again, was fulfilling more of an entertainment side. So it's been nice to literally reintroduce. I have those moments where I'm like, okay, time to get updated here.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's good.

• 1:08:13Speaker 00

  I'll do, I'm a, I'm a twice a day. Maybe I'll get to a once a day person. I'm a twice a day person, but in between, I'm back to listening to old time radio shows. Johnny Dollar is my favorite insurance investigator played by Bob Bailey.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:08:25Speaker 00

  And so I'm like, oh, if this is fulfilling the need to be listening to something, what else can I be listening to? Back to This American Life, back to just like.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  Feed your soul.

• 1:08:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  Feed your soul, you know? Um, this has been awesome, girl. I want to ask you a couple of final questions.

• 1:08:39Speaker 00

  Please.

• 1:08:39Speaker 02

  That's cool. Uh, one of the things, you know, I got to meet your mom, lovely lady. Uh, and just seems super wise and fun at the same time. So, um, congrats on calling in your mom as a child and entering this world with your, your parents. But, um, I read that you grew up with your parents either teaching you or showing you how to live a life of service. Like, living a life of service was important and how can we add value and contribute to whatever it might be, friends, family, society. Uh, and I'm curious, um, what are your thoughts about service? And what have you learned through being of service, being a giver, finding ways to add value?

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  What have you learned about how giving allows you to receive as well?

• 1:09:27Speaker 00

  Hmm, yeah, well, like you said, I, I come from two really wonderful, thoughtful parents, Ashen and Carrie, who I call Bubba and Mommy, but really wonderful people that.

• 1:09:40Speaker 00

  Have their own global backgrounds. So, you know, my, my bubba moved to the States from Iran when he was eight, comes from a very global service minded family. My mama comes from a family where it's like my papa and Nana, my papa in particular was really involved in the civil rights movement. So that very direct idea of what it is to be of service, to sacrifice kind of your own comfort for the greater good. And so much of the dialogue around being of service just happened at the dinner table, happened in a very natural way where I don't think I even realized, oh, I'm, I'm having these heady conversations. Sure, sure. Hear me. And I think there were also things that they did that were very supportive of that, of going to schools that had volunteer requirements, whether that was the Montessori

• 1:10:22Speaker 00

  or the public school or the Catholic school I went to. They all had volunteer requirements. And so I think it was also being modeled for me in every environment I was in of not just how money is a resource, but how your time is a resource. The idea of giving as being just a part of the fabric of life and not as something that you wait to do once you have quote unquote made it. Even when they were giving me and my brothers just allowance, they, they, again, having really thoughtful parents, what mommy had done was we had put all of the money that we made from acting right into savings, but they'd give us an allowance for being on set. Oh, wow. And from that allowance, from those 10 bucks or however much we decided, they had the save, spend and donate bucket. And we got to choose how much are we donating? How much are we saving? How much are we spending?

• 1:11:08Speaker 00

  And again, I think these were, I, I say this all as a foundation of saying I had a great foundation of ways in which being of service can be integrated into our day to day life. And I think even still. That's cool. Having mommy as a business partner, one trait I think I admire most that many people can attest to. I was in a room she wasn't in, talking about something random, and literally somebody else, another actress paused to be like, can we talk about Kiri Shahidi? Because what she is, is so deeply tapped into the world around her and so deeply curious that I think she is constantly of service by giving kind of her mind as a resource. We will see someone at the airport who say, oh, who says off randomly, oh, I really want to start this shirt company. She'll be like, oh, that's interesting. I'm, I've cataloged,

• 1:11:51Speaker 00

  oh, I met this one entrepreneur that makes shirts that I would love to connect to. She's connected authors with lawyers for their multi-million plus book deal, not real, and...

• 1:12:01Speaker 00

  Not realizing that's what it was for, but just being like, oh, you're an interesting person. This is another person that's interesting. You guys should be connected. That's cool. But it comes from just being so deeply attuned and paying attention in spaces that we're in the same rooms and she's picking up on things. I'm like, huh? Oh, yeah, I guess that did. That did happen. But I say that to say, I feel like it's an example of what it means to be attuned towards service. And it's not even necessarily, oh, I'm working with this organization or this foundation. It's truly, I'm operating from an anchoring place of how can I be of value to you? Yeah. Even if it has nothing to do with me. Most of these things never circle back. It's a thank you. That's beautiful. That you may get. But to answer even your question on giving, on being of service

• 1:12:45Speaker 00

  and then receiving, I think I've had a lot of examples of how things, time, resources that I've given have come back around in ways that I could never expect. I wasn't expecting it when I gave. Yeah. And I think even in our, starting our production company, we were both astounded by how many people wanted to work with us when we were just opening our doors, had yet to prove ourselves as producers, because they knew what it was like to be in a relationship with us. Yeah. And the things that we'd give generally without saying, hey, we're going to circle back around in a couple of years when we have our own offices, dah dah dah dah dah. And so I think a lot of what I've received has been the result of giving. And I think

• 1:13:28Speaker 00

  I've learned so many lessons about how that happens. My Papa has this great term he uses relationship equity, which is, one, just logistically, especially for us 20 year olds, call between needing things, especially from the people around you. It's okay if you need things and you need to call people, but call between. See how they're doing. Yeah. Check in. Not when you need it, only. Yeah. Not just when, not, hey, how are you by the way? Yes. But more than just calling between needing things. I was raised on relationship equity, which is your, your, the priority in this world is building relationships with the people around you. It's not building networks. It's not building contacts, it's building relationships.

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  I love that. That's been my whole life, it's been about relationships. And it's kind of how I built everything. You know, in the interview business too, it's like you've got to build relationships to be trustworthy enough.

• 1:14:16Speaker 00

  I was gonna say, it's so much about trust, of both who you let in and building something, but also people coming to you and having a trust. So yeah, I'd have to say, I think trust is the resource that I, that is given when you, when you give.

• 1:14:29Speaker 02

  That's great. What's the thing you love the most about both your mom and your dad?

• 1:14:33Speaker 00

  Ooh, that's a good question. Why, I think I said some of it for mommy, but just to, to double down. I really am so moved by how moved she is by the world, by how much she cares about the people around her, whether it's the people in this room we'll never be in again, whether it's the people that have been in our lives forever. She has a, a want to be a value add to somebody's life. And it could be, it could be in a very small way, in a very big way, but I think, I don't even know, it feels almost subconscious, there's an ease in what she does it. It's not like, oh, she's thinking about, oh, what can I do to your benefit? But it's really, it's really inspiring how naturally that comes. Because I think it's something, that reminds me too, of the power of being present,

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  of, of what I was missing out on when I was so in my head, or like all the things that can happen when you're right here with somebody in a room. And I think from my, my bubba, I feel like, I, I think there's, I mean, there's a lot. Well, not only is he the reason that I'm, I'm a foodie and have a, a very wide-ranging taste in music, but I think he's also one of the first people that modeled the idea that being a family and being creative can, can really go hand in hand, because he was the first one in our family. He, he was a Prince's photographer for 10 years. And I think that was always such a family-oriented environment in which he was, you know, we were on tour with him.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  And, and would hop in and out, not the whole time, but we'd hop in and out of tour stops. We'd go to his house when he was dropping off film. And I think in many ways, he helped set up the model by which we run our family, which is like, there's a way to maintain being a high-level creative and pursuing your career, but also being so invested in and concerned about our family as the main unit. Because I think it reflects the fact that, you know, my brothers and I, whenever any of us had a job, we were always on set for the other person. Just to be there.

• 1:16:27Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:16:28Speaker 00

  Just to be like, I'm so excited for you. And I think it's those little things that have made. The experience so enjoyable generally was like, oh, I never had to sacrifice a distance from family or this feeling that this was a solo journey in order to be doing this. And so, yeah, I think that's something he modeled very, very early on.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  That's cool.

• 1:16:51Speaker 02

  I've got a couple of final questions for you, but I want to make sure people check out your new podcast with you and your mom.

• 1:16:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  It's called The Optimist Project, right? It's on everywhere, right?

• 1:17:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's on everywhere.

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  You doing video too, or mostly just audio?

• 1:17:08Speaker 00

  It's audio primarily, but there will be a video component that we're launching, which we're excited about. But yeah, it's with Sirius XM, but you can find it everywhere.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, everywhere. Awesome. What is the, tell me a little bit about it. What is it gonna be? Is it an interview? Is it just you and your mom? Is it gonna bring you on different experts? What's the main thing?

• 1:17:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I think true to our business relationship, we've really co-conceptualized it behind the scenes. I'm hosting it. So we're both in the room, but I'm hosting and interviewing. And I think it's some of what we teased and talked about throughout this conversation. It started from the conversations that her and I would have of one, these kind of more existential conversations of where we're both at in our lives and what are the questions that wanted to be answered. But also, a lot of it was both of us being very lucky to be in these exclusive rooms, finding ourselves just the nature of our community to be like, we're at a small get together with every major politician and every major collected artist. Or we're at the TED conference, which has a barrier to entry of X amount thousand to get a ticket.

• 1:18:09Speaker 00

  And so many times, the conversations that were really insightful to us were happening in these exclusive rooms. And it was really a matter of accessibility. Like, there's so many questions we got answered, not even realizing that that's what was going to happen, just the nature of having conversations with people. And so for us, we curated a guest list of the people that, many people that we've already talked to privately and personally, of being like, no, let's make this official. There's so many gems in how they've shared their stories. And I think there's so many messages of optimism just through people's journeys of them sharing how they've overcome certain challenges, what their current takeaways are. So it's been a very exciting process because we do a lot of brain work behind the scenes.

• 1:18:51Speaker 00

  And then by the time I get out here to to ask questions, it the conversation always flows in very interesting ways. But luckily, it's has served its initial purpose, which was for us to be able to have really fulfilling conversations with people and realize. Many times I was always the youngest people person in this room, and sometimes that can be mistaken for being the only young person interested. Which is far from true. Like there's I understand I could be an anomaly in a certain way, but I think I come from a deeply curious generation. And I think there's so many things that we seek out in terms of information, and that's part of why it was inspiring to me to know. Oh, yeah, I just happened to have been in the room while this conversation was happening, but I know so many people that would learn from that.

• 1:19:34Speaker 00

  So many of my conversations with my peers are about us asking each other these questions.

• 1:19:39Speaker 02

  That's cool. Well, people can get it's out November 20th, correct?

• 1:19:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's called The Optimist Project. Go search for it online, follow, subscribe, check it out, listen, all the things. You'll be posted about it, I'm assuming on social media as well, so.

• 1:19:55Speaker 00

  We'll be able to escape it.

• 1:19:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. So follow you on on Instagram. That's your main platform where you post content. Check that out.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  This question I want to ask you, two final questions.

• 1:20:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:20:08Speaker 02

  Before I ask them, I want to acknowledge you, Yar, for the journey you're on. I think it's really cool that you have been able to live a life of your dreams up until 24. And now you're still saying, how can I learn? How can I grow? How can I evolve? How can I master other things? You're not just saying, oh, I've been successful. I'm going to keep doing the same thing. But how can I continue to step into trusting myself, knowing myself, and being of service of myself to the world in all the different ways you want to be?

• 1:20:39Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:20:40Speaker 02

  So I acknowledge you for what you've created, where you're at now, and also where you're going. And that you're doing it with your family and you're able to do it in a in a purposeful, peaceful place. So I really am excited to watch your journey. I hopefully will stay.

• 1:20:53Speaker 00

  I'm also excited to watch.

• 1:20:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun. And speaking of your journey, there is a great, I love the Matthew McConaughey. Acceptance speech for his Oscar many years ago, where he talked about his chasing his. His self in the future, ten years out.

• 1:21:09Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  He's like, I'm always chasing myself in the future. The person I want to be ten years in the future. If you could think at thirty four, that you are thirty four. Your thirty four year old self has lived the next decade of life. With all the visions, plans, dreams. That you're thinking about, all the things that you're not thinking about that are going to come to you. The challenges, the adversities, the everything that's going to happen over the next ten years. You're thirty four and you're sitting right in front of you right now. What three pieces of wisdom or advice? Does your thirty four year old self need to tell you now that you need to hear?

• 1:21:50Speaker 00

  Hmm. I think, what would thirty four year old Yara have a clue in on?

• 1:21:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:57Speaker 00

  Well, I think to our conversation on, on mental fortitude to know. To be reassured that I'll continue to show up for myself. Well, it would be nice to hear from thirty four year old Yara. That there's no point in stressing about future challenges.

• 1:22:17Speaker 00

  Maybe not that there's no point, but that we move through them.

• 1:22:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:22:20Speaker 00

  And that, and that we are capable of moving through them. I mean, I think thirty four year old Yara, I'm excited. For her to give me intel on what happens when we follow our curiosities. I think I've been able to do that and I'm at a point in my career where. There is always going to be a bit of strategy. There is always going to be a bit of business and I like that part of what we do. But it'll be reaffirming to be like, well, what blossomed from the curiosity? What's the thing that I didn't expect we were going to do? Um, because I feel like even, even though I feel like I've been a very consistent person in my life. In terms of like core values, like who I was at sixteen is not a far stretch from who I am now.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:02Speaker 00

  Um, I also could never imagine what I was dreaming about now at sixteen. So I would love to know what thirty four year old Yara is dreaming about.

• 1:23:11Speaker 02

  That's interesting. That's cool.

• 1:23:14Speaker 00

  Is that two things?

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  What else you think she would tell you? One more, one more lesson she would give you?

• 1:23:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, what would she tell me? I mean, I, I'm.

• 1:23:25Speaker 00

  I think I'm excited for whatever wisdom on on her journey in trusting herself and her instincts. I feel grateful to be of service and I know a part of my journey in being authentic to myself is is trusting myself because oftentimes I think I defer to the people wanting to be of service to the people around me. Care for the people around me that it's more so a new mental challenge to be like, wait, how am I feeling about this? What am I thinking about this? Because it's just how I've how my brain works at this point. So I want wisdom from her about that.

• 1:24:00Speaker 02

  That's good. Okay.

• 1:24:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:24:02Speaker 02

  Love that. I'll let you think about it more after our conversation.

• 1:24:04Speaker 00

  I also want to know what interest rates are.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. What stock you're investing in.

• 1:24:11Speaker 02

  Final question for you, Yara. This has been powerful. Thanks for being here.

• 1:24:14Speaker 00

  Thank you so much.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  Of course. The final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:24:19Speaker 00

  I think my definition of greatness, it could be a synonym for authenticity. When I look at people that I consider great, it's because I think they have tapped into themselves in a way where they feel irreplicable. No one could even try to do what you do. Not because other people don't have the skills, but no one can be you right now. So yeah, I think it's the people that are so authentically themselves and that feel like, oh, you've tapped into a greatness that that could only exist within you.

• 1:24:52Speaker 02

  Snap it up. Like that. Awesome. Thanks for being here. Appreciate it.

• 1:24:56Speaker 00

  This has been so fulfilling for me. I have a lot to journal about.

• 1:24:59Speaker 02

  That's good. I want you to. I want you to come away with like reflecting on stuff.

• 1:25:03Speaker 00

  No, I am.

• 1:25:04Speaker 02

  That's powerful.

• 1:25:05Lewis Howes?

  I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

• 1:25:49Lewis Howes?

  And now it's time to go out there and do something great.