The Mindset Mentor: How to CONNECT to Your FUTURE & ATTRACT Your Dreams Effortlessly (It's SIMPLE!)

Today we have an incredible guest, Rob Dial, a master of personal development, podcasting, and building a successful brand. Rob has been consistently growing his business and podcast for over 9 years, and today, he's here to share his wisdom with us. We'll dive into the '6 month roadmap' to success, uncover the three energies blocking us from achieving our dreams, and explore how passion fuels our journey. We'll also discuss the necessity of drastic lifestyle changes for redefining success, the obsession with immediate results, and the challenges of staying focused on our goals in today's distraction-filled world. Get ready for an episode packed with insights to transform your life and achieve greatness! In this episode you will learnthe value of consistency in building a business, personal brand, and podcast over 9+ years, along with a '6-month roadmap' for personal success.about the three energies that block people from achieving success, love, and fulfillment, and how to overcome them.how to distinguish between passion that fuels and gives energy, and when drastic lifestyle changes are necessary for redefining success.about the psychological impacts of judging others, the importance of mindset around money, and practical steps to cultivate an abundance mindset.strategies for healing your relationship with money, unlocking abundance, and the number one story keeping people from financial freedom. For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1597For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Ali Abdaal – https://link.chtbl.com/1557-podPatrick Bet-David – https://link.chtbl.com/1547-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes and today we have an incredible show with Rob Dial, a master of personal development, podcasting, and building a successful brand. Rob has been consistently growing his business and podcasts for over nine years, and today he's here to share his secrets. We'll dive into the six-month roadmap to success, how to uncover the three energies blocking us from achieving our dreams, and explore how passion fuels our journey. Get ready for an episode packed with insights to transform your life and achieve greatness.

• 0:34Rob Dial?

  He said, "The problem is, Rob, you're acting like a victim and you're making all of these excuses. Your life will not change until you decide to be the CEO of your life." That was the most probably life-changing moment that I've ever had in my entire life, because I was like, "I get it."

• 0:46Lewis Howes?

  We have the inspiring Rob Dial from the Mindset Mentor in the house.

• 0:50Rob Dial?

  I think we've been taught goals incorrectly. Instead of having to like white knuckle our way to our goals, which I did for years, and push, push, push, and bash my head into walls and just go anyways, instead of having to push, I can actually feel pulled towards my goal. We are so incredible as humans, our brains are so incredible that you and I right now can sit in this moment in your basement and think about a future. And no matter what that future is, our brain can actually make our body feel the feelings of it's happening right now. The problem is, the universe is abundant, and I think scarcity only lives in the human mind. I would be afraid to check my bank account because there was times when I checked my bank account and it was not enough. There was negative money in my bank account many, many times.

• 1:28Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is the number one thing you did to heal your relationship with money and start bringing in more financial abundance? What do you think are the three energies that are blocking people the most from success, love, and fulfillment in their life?

• 1:42Rob Dial?

  I think the the main thing is-

• 1:47Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Rob Dial from the Mindset Mentor in the house. My man.

• 1:53Rob Dial?

  What's up, buddy?

• 1:54Lewis Howes?

  Good to see you.

• 1:54Rob Dial?

  Good to be in your new studio. Welcome.

• 1:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, new studio, home studio, pumped about this.

• 1:59Rob Dial?

  In your basement, this is exciting.

• 2:00Lewis Howes?

  I know, the greatness basement.

• 2:02Rob Dial?

  Yeah, that's where that's what we're doing it. And I'm excited about this because we just made an announcement recently for you joining the Greatness Network. So, welcome. You're the first member of the Greatness Network.

• 2:11Lewis Howes?

  Thanks, man. Excited to see what we're going to build as the hub of inspiration. So, I want everyone to check out your show, subscribe, check it out. Amazing content you've been doing for eight years now, your podcast, right?

• 2:22Rob Dial?

  August will be nine, yeah.

• 2:24Lewis Howes?

  Nine years, man. There's not many of us who've done it for nine plus.

• 2:27Rob Dial?

  When I started, it was like you and Tim Ferriss. I don't think there's any.

• 2:29Lewis Howes?

  I know, right?

• 2:30Rob Dial?

  Joe Rogan. That was about, there's three of you guys.

• 2:32Lewis Howes?

  That's it. And it's been an interesting journey over the last nine years for you.

• 2:36Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 2:36Lewis Howes?

  And you also coach a lot of people. So you started your show, but you also have a business where you're coaching people, helping entrepreneurs grow, but also helping individuals transform their life.

• 2:46Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 2:47Lewis Howes?

  And the thing that I've been feeling recently in the, in the world is a lot of people feel stuck with their life and they don't think they have the ability to change.

• 2:58Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 2:59Lewis Howes?

  Within a six month window. They feel like change is so far away. It's like, ah, just, I don't know how long it's gonna take me until I start making more money. How long is it gonna take me until I can start getting in shape? It's like, I keep trying, but it's so hard. How long is it gonna take me until I can start feeling more loved? Until I can start attracting the people I want in my life better, friends, relationships? How long is it gonna take me?

• 3:22Rob Dial?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:22Lewis Howes?

  And I'm curious, if you could break down the last, you know, nine, 10 years of all this work that you've done? And if you were to give someone a roadmap on how to completely change their life in the next six months,

• 3:36Lewis Howes?

  what would they need to do? Is it a different way of thinking? Is it focusing on your fears and eliminating those fears? Is it having a step-by-step plan? What would you do to transform someone's life in six months? So they feel like they actually are seeing change.

• 3:51Rob Dial?

  Yeah, I mean, I, I think that first off, that's like probably the best question, because that's majority of the mindset mentors, like steps of all of this, just different podcasts where I'm like, okay, when I, when I wrote the book that I, that I just got out last year, I was like, what do I do? Like, if I look at 1,400 episodes of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, like, what is it that I do? And it's more than anything else, it's how to understand yourself so you can take action. Like, the original title of the book was The Psychology of Taking Action, because I find that so many people have trouble with it. And I had a lot of trouble with it. And so like, it's, it's interesting, like, we can look and say, oh yeah, like, we both have successful podcasts. It must be so nice to have a successful podcast. But it's like, there's a lot of fears that come up in doing this. I'm like, we have to put ourselves out there. That's a lot of judgment that can come from it, right?

• 4:36Rob Dial?

  I think the first thing that that's probably the most important is like what feels right. I don't know about you, but I didn't start a podcast for money. And when you started podcasts, there wasn't any money. No, there's no money for the first five, six years. There's no money. There's no, I didn't even know there was a way to monetize it, right? So there was like, it wasn't a money thing. There was a part of me that was like, what feels like the thing that I want to do? And for me, like, I actually felt obligated to start the mindset mentor because I was, the exact moment that it happened, I can tell you exactly what happened. I was in Jason's Deli with my girlfriend at the time, now wife. And I was sitting there and it was like, it was like a movie where it was like a fever pitch. Whereas like, I started getting really stressed out, really anxious. I was looking around me and there was all these people that were like yelling at their kids and they were,

• 5:21Rob Dial?

  you know, just seemed like they were, I don't know if it was reality or if it was just in my head. And it was like, everyone looked like they were miserable around me and I was like feeling all of it. And this is like the beginning of 2015, so nine years ago, right? And I look at Lauren and I go, I think I'm gonna start a podcast. And she's like, what is a podcast? Right? Like she didn't really know what it was back then. I was like, I had this microphone, this exact one that we're using, a Shure SM7B. Because I was, I'm a musician, so I had the setup. And I was like, I have things, I have traumas that I've overcome in my life that self-development helped me with. And I want to try to, I feel obligated to teach that to people. And it just felt right, which is the most important thing. And so like, I think the first step is, don't ever chase money.

• 6:06Rob Dial?

  I heard a quote, I think it was from Oprah, where she said, follow your passion, money comes second. Money always comes second. And so I think a lot of people always go money first. How can I make money right now? And I think that the thing about it is if someone follows passion, the money might not be there right away. But I think that if you fast forward five or six years, you go, oh my God, I didn't expect it to be this good. Right? Like when you, you think about it. You might have some patience, though. That's the problem is most people want it right now. They want it now. They, they're real bad with delayed gratification. And so. I think the first thing is the feeling, like what feels like the thing that you want to do? And I think a lot of people don't give themselves enough space and silence to be able to think. Like a lot of times we're keeping so busy, we're always on Instagram.

• 6:49Rob Dial?

  Like I recently deleted Instagram completely from my phone. Everything I run through my team, just because I want more silence in my life. Because I personally believe just from, you know, I'm not religious in any sort of way, but I believe that God, the universe, life speaks in silence. So the more silence I can have, the more clear I can be on what I'm supposed to do. And so whenever I've been in silence and I get a feeling, I trust that feeling like really deeply. And I'm, I'm okay going into whatever darkness it might be in front of me and not knowing the path. So I think the feeling is the first thing.

• 7:19Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 7:20Rob Dial?

  The second thing.

• 7:20Lewis Howes?

  You need space and time to be able to feel.

• 7:22Rob Dial?

  A lot of space and time.

• 7:23Lewis Howes?

  Analyze and assess your thoughts and feelings. It's kind of like you felt called to do something. And it was kind of either nagging you, calling you, pulling you to do this. Because you kept listening to the voice inside of you that said, do this thing, do this thing. You didn't know why, but you felt excited about it, nervous about it, but also like, this is something you're supposed to do. And maybe you fail, but it's something you're supposed to do.

• 7:47Rob Dial?

  Yeah. And the thing about it that I think is important people understand is your passion doesn't always have to be your paycheck. I think a lot of people get that misunderstood. Like I think you and I are probably two of the luckiest people alive. We get paid for doing something that we're so passionate about. Like it is what we love to do. And for some people, it's not always that way. And so if someone's looking, there's two different paths. Someone's looking to make money, well, what's something that you could do that could make you money? That you could at least enjoy? If someone's looking for passion, it could be something completely different. You know, like I always tell a story, I had a lady who was in one of my coaching programs one time. And she was like real depressed and I was like, what do you love? Like what's one, what's a moment in your life where you felt like so much energy? And she's like, I have horses and we had special needs children come over to my farm and got to like do therapy with the horses.

• 8:32Rob Dial?

  That's one of the most alive I've ever felt. And I was like, but she goes, and then she goes, but I can't make any money doing that. And I said, what if you just had a job that you enjoy? You spend time that it pays your bills, but it gives you more free time to be able to help these children. And she's like, that feels good. And I was like, there might be something down the road where you might figure in three or four years that it'll make you money. But really what it is, is like, how can I enjoy my life more? And so for the first thing, I think is the feeling. The second thing for people is you have to understand like you literally have to become a different person and that's what's scary for people is that I have to be different. Like if I go back to Lewis 12 years ago, you're not the same Lewis as you were because you had to become and mold yourself into a different person. I feel like I'm a different person

• 9:14Rob Dial?

  as well. I don't think our, my podcast could be where it is now because I wasn't good enough to be here.

• 9:19Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 9:20Rob Dial?

  But years and years and years and years and years of work, 1,400 podcast episodes allowed me to get to the point where I can speak in a way that I guess is better than the way that I used to or more concisely, more value. But it doesn't just come like that. I think that's, that's part of the thing is that you'll see incremental changes. And I truly believe the, the longer the time goes on, the more I believe in like the Chinese bamboo story, which is, you know, you plant the, the seed, you water it, first year, nothing, second year, nothing, third year, nothing, fourth year, nothing, fifth year, nothing, sixth year, it grows 80 feet in about six months. And they say, they say sometimes you can like literally watch it grow.

• 9:54Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:55Rob Dial?

  I feel like it's the exact same way for success where it's like you have to find the path that you're okay with going down, that you feel good about, that you are passionate about. And I feel like eventually the universe kind of comes to your side and conspires with you. If it's like, hey, this is the thing that gives you energy. I think that's the other way that God speaks is like through energy. Like if I get energy, I'll 100% have more energy after this podcast than before because I love doing this stuff. Like this is what lights me up. And I think that's how, when you look at the entire universe, it's all energy. I think that's, that's us being like, okay, if I'm silent, I can hear the messages and I can start feeling the energy of what gives me energy. And I think that's the stuff that we're supposed to be doing in our lives.

• 10:34Lewis Howes?

  How do we know when something is fueling us and giving us more energy?

• 10:38Rob Dial?

  I mean, I think it's usually quite apparent, right? So there's some people you get around and you're like, oh, there's some people you can think about getting around and you're like, oh man.

• 10:44Lewis Howes?

  You're like drained.

• 10:45Rob Dial?

  You already feel your energy getting drained from it, right? So it's like, uh, I've always heard like people are like, they're either batters or they're vacuums. They either suck energy from you or they give you energy. Um, I think there's also, you know, things that we do that are batters and vacuums. You know, I think, I think people underestimate, uh, how much energy it takes to go to a job that you hate.

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 11:04Rob Dial?

  Like to drive, to drive to.

• 11:07Lewis Howes?

  Think about how much you hate this thing.

• 11:08Rob Dial?

  Right. You gotta wake up in the morning. And I did this for years, right? I did this for years. I had to wake up in the morning. I had to get myself ready and the whole time I was like, I don't want to go to this job. Like my, I remember just one of my bosses just hating this guy, right? And he was just so rude to every one of the sales reps, all of us. And I had to get myself ready. I had to get in the car. I had to drive there. I had to walk in. I had to put on a face like I wanted to be there for nine, 10 hours a day, every single day. It takes more energy to go to a job than you, that you hate than to build something that you actually love. And I think that's what a lot of people need to actually start to understand. And, you know, Alex Ramosi put up a post a little while ago. And it was like, most people say they want more free time to build their business, but they have a full-time job.

• 11:51Rob Dial?

  And he said, if you look at it, you have 104 days a year. If you have 52 weeks, times two, you have weekends, you have 104 days a year to build the thing that you're actually passionate about.

• 12:00Rob Dial?

  104 days? Yeah. And it might take- That's a lot of days. It's a lot of days. That's a, you know, almost a third of the year. You can get a lot done. You can get a lot done in 104 days. And so it's like, sometimes you do have to go out of balance to go back in balance. You know, like if you look at like the beginning stage of growing your podcast, there was a lot of hours, I'm sure. Yeah. And there's probably a lot less hours now where you're able to, you went way far this way and now you're way far this way if you want to be that way. And you can go back and forth between it, but I think that people just need to be aware of like, all right, being in this, around this person, do I get more energy? Do I, do I feel like they're sucking energy from me? Doing this task, do I get energy from it? Do I feel like it's sucking energy from me? Like one of the things, I had a podcast episode come out the other day about how ADHD is a superpower.

• 12:45Rob Dial?

  And, and this is one thing I think like, I hate some of the words that are used. Like it's a deficit is what is like, as something is wrong with me if I have it.

• 12:54Rob Dial?

  Attention deficit disorder. Right. Attention deficit disorder. Like there's something wrong with my brain. When in reality, if you look at somebody who has ADHD, when they find something that they're passionate about, they have what's called hyper-focus. Like they can zone out the entire world. And obsess. Yeah, right. And so what really ADHD is, is a low B meter. Like I can't do this BS. Like I'm not going to do this anymore. Or I'm just not excited or interested in it. Right. And so it's putting that energy towards what you are excited about. Right. And most people are like, well, I'm just distracted. I'm like, actually you just don't like what you're doing. And, and you have a brain that just can click it off and be like, this is not what I'm doing. If you can find something that you become hyper-focused at and you can zone out the world. Go for that thing. That's the thing that gives you energy.

• 13:36Lewis Howes?

  I think my entire childhood of school was ADHD because I just could not focus or pay attention the whole time.

• 13:43Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 13:43Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting because I grew up very dyslexic also.

• 13:46Rob Dial?

  Me too.

• 13:46Lewis Howes?

  Used to feel like it was, you know, the greatest, I don't know, deficit for me. I used to feel very insecure because I could not read and comprehend what I was reading.

• 13:57Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 13:58Lewis Howes?

  And in eighth grade, I had a second grade reading level when they tested me. And it was just always terrifying to read aloud in class because I would skip words and I couldn't understand it. But I think that deficit or inefficiency in me with that allowed me to focus in other areas of my life where I became very, you know, proficient in.

• 14:21Rob Dial?

  Mm hmm.

• 14:21Lewis Howes?

  It's what allowed me to find something else and become a master in other ways, but

• 14:25Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Lewis Howes?

  It was a struggle for 18 years, man.

• 14:28Rob Dial?

  Yeah, I mean, I've, I'll be honest with you too. Like I've, there's many times in school when I felt like I was stupid. I remember I switched. I, we lived in a bad part of town when I was younger and then we moved from second grade into a better part of town, a little bit better, wasn't great. But it was still a little bit better part of town and we had these, it was a small school. We had split classes, which means that second graders and third graders were together. I was in third grade and I remember sitting in this, in the room, trying to figure out how to read, like I, it wasn't taught to me and I was in third grade. I couldn't figure it out and all the second graders were reading out loud.

• 14:58Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 14:58Rob Dial?

  These kids that are younger than me can read and I can't read. I must be stupid. And so I think that, you know, my sister homeschools her children and she's never forced reading on them because she, and she's taught me a lot through this. She's never forced reading on them and she's like, when they're ready to read, they'll read. And one of her kids didn't start reading until he was like 10, 11 years old, wasn't into it. Now he reads more than all the other kids, but it was never forced on him. And so I think it's super important for anyone who has children out there to realize like, sometimes it just takes time for your children to catch up and their brain to change. But there's, I don't believe in using the word deficit because then we automatically think there's something wrong with me. And if there's something wrong with me, I have that identity and that identity can go with me the rest of my life.

• 15:39Lewis Howes?

  So I heard you say we should start with. You know, silence and our awareness first, right? Should we be thinking about, is that a mindset thing? Or should we be thinking about habits, vision, goals? Like if we're really trying to transform in the next three, six, 12 months?

• 15:54Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 15:56Lewis Howes?

  What are the next steps then around that?

• 15:57Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 15:58Lewis Howes?

  Do we have to change all of our habits and be extreme? Do we need to change our vision or get clear on something?

• 16:03Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 16:04Lewis Howes?

  You know, what is the steps we need to do after that?

• 16:07Rob Dial?

  Yeah, I mean, first off, you kind of figure out what it is, or at least feels right. And then there's a

• 16:12Lewis Howes?

  Energatically.

• 16:12Rob Dial?

  Right, and there's a, there's a really great book that's now a children's movie that they came out. It's called the, if I remember the order, it's the boy, the mole, the fox, the horse. There's a part of it where the little boy is, is in the forest and he's like, I, I, I can't see my way out of the forest. And the horse is like, can you see the next step? And he said, yes, he said, just take that. And it's like, I think that people who overthink, what happens is, and I tend to do this and my, my wife is a really big planner. So I've seen it in her, is we decide we want to do something. And then we think about everything that has to be done to get there. Like I used to sit down with people like, let's make your 10 year goal. And for some people, that makes them excited. For someone that's a planner, they see all 3,650 days today and they all have to be done. And so they actually become like demotivated by a 10 year goal.

• 16:56Rob Dial?

  And so I think is important, and, and I actually put this in my book is, is, is I think we've been taught goals incorrectly. I think it's good to have a goal, like this year I want to be here at the end of the year. And, but that's a results based goal, which is from today, I want to be here. That's a result. From there, I think what we need to do is then forget about the results based goal. After we create action based goals, which is what are the actions that I need to take every day incrementally to get me there? And if we just take the right actions, then eventually we're going to get there. And so like, for instance, uh, we've talked a lot about podcasts today, right? So it's like, I want to have a podcast doing a million downloads a year in a year. Okay, cool. You can look at that and be like, I'm at zero right now. Oh my God, that's a lot. Well, what do I need to do in order to get there?

• 17:41Rob Dial?

  And you break it down incrementally and just take your action-based goals. And as long as you get those done every day, a checklist of two or three things. Okay, I recorded a podcast today. For me, it was like, I, okay. Most people put out one podcast a week. I'm gonna put out three, cuz then I will get three times better within a year. That's just the way I thought about it. I'll just be three times further in a year. And so I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna say, okay, I need to get three episodes done this week. I need to plan three episodes. I need to record three episodes. I need to get those done. Don't worry about the results because eventually the results are gonna come. And so it's like, what's, what's important is, are you heading in the right direction for the goal that you wanna actually hit? Are you taking the right action? And then the thing that you just have to let go of, which is hard for most people, is the time. Time's gonna work itself out.

• 18:25Rob Dial?

  And so, goals are super simple. There's the direction, there's the action, and then you just let go of time and eventually you get there. Sometimes you get there sooner. A lot of times you get there later on down the road. But as long as you're heading in the right direction, you will eventually get to the destination that you're shooting for.

• 18:39Lewis Howes?

  Why do people obsess so much about having results sooner than they, I guess, should have them?

• 18:44Rob Dial?

  I mean, I think everybody, I get, I do this in my own business, right? Like, I'll sit down with my, my VP of Operations and I'll be like, okay, here's the thing that we need to do. And then I get stressed that it's not already done yet. Like, immediately, I'm like, why did I not know this thing was already here? Like, I want it to be done. It's like, this is gonna take three months. I've gotta be patient with this thing. Like, nobody expects to go into the gym for the first time in a long time, wake up the next morning and have a six-pack. Like, we know that things take time, but I think that we have been, we have kind of, not intentionally, but we've been kind of brainwashed to, to want instant gratification. Like, you, you got that smoothie delivered, right? You didn't have to leave your house and some guy came to your house and brought you a smoothie, right? And, and if, if I want, uh, we had breakfast delivered to us this morning.

• 19:27Rob Dial?

  We ordered it last night and immediately got to our place here. Um, and then, so we're used to it where it's like, I could, I don't even have to pick up my phone. I could just say, hey, Siri, you know, what is this thing? And she can give me information immediately. So we're so used to getting instant gratification. It's kind of been trained in us in 2024. But nothing takes, nothing that is amazing happens fast. Like, if you're- You know, you say, say your, your wife gets pregnant, right? How ridiculous would it be if you went up to her and you're like, hey, listen, I know it's supposed to take nine months, but like, but like, I want to go on vacation by the end of the year. Like, could you get it done in like four or five? Like, she'd smack you if you, if you did that, right? Because things take time. You know, the universe or God builds a baby in nine months.

• 20:08Rob Dial?

  And so it's like, I can make this, this decision of I'm going to do this, say, I'm going to take the right action. But the universe or God decides how long this thing's going to take until you actually get there. It doesn't matter how long it takes. What matters is today, am I taking the right action to get me there? One of my, one of my first mentors used to say something to me that I say to myself all the time, which is, is what I'm doing right now getting me closer to or further from my goals? If I ask myself that 20 times a day, it just helps me redirect in the moment to get back on path. And it's, it's super simple. Is what you're doing right now get you closer to or further from your goals?

• 20:40Lewis Howes?

  And I think if you think that on that every single day and every single, single moment, is this thought helping me get closer to my goals?

• 20:46Rob Dial?

  For sure.

• 20:47Lewis Howes?

  Is this action, is the food I'm eating helping me get closer to my goals? Is this conversation helping me get closer? Is me scrolling on social media helping me closer? Whatever that is, like moment by moment, you could be thinking and asking yourself, is this part of a process that's helping me get closer to transforming my life?

• 21:05Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 21:05Lewis Howes?

  And having the goals that I want faster?

• 21:07Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 21:08Lewis Howes?

  But most people are on such autopilot that they're not willing to, I guess, brainwash their, their minds in a positive way to constantly get back on track. Why do you think it's so hard to stay focused on our dreams and goals today more than ever?

• 21:24Rob Dial?

  Well, because it's not, it's not who you are. It's not who you've ever been. It's outside of your comfort zone. Like, when, when I see a human, I always, I love people. Like, I love sitting with somebody and thinking to myself as I'm speaking to them, I wonder what their childhood was like. I wonder what their relationship with their parents are like. I wonder what their relationship with their wife is like. Because, because all we are as adults are, we're just a set of patterns that we learn from childhood. And so like, if you meet somebody, one of the things that I think is important is if you meet somebody and you're like, I don't agree with them, there's a pretty good chance that if you had the exact same life that they did, you would be exactly the same that they are. Which means I can change myself at any moment just by changing my patterns and my thoughts.

• 22:06Rob Dial?

  One of the hardest things in, that I think people really need to dive into is like, what is the identity that they have in themselves? Like, who do they think they are? And so- You know, going back to what we were talking about, like, there was definitely times in my childhood, and I don't know if you heard, you said it before, where like, we thought we were dumb. And that thought alone, especially from a child, eight, nine, 10 years old, is like, I am dumb. I am like, I'm a stupid kid and I don't understand it. So then I would sit there in class and the teacher would teach something and I'm like, yeah, this isn't going through, like, this isn't, and it must not be going through because I'm dumb. And so I'm actually reinforcing that at every single moment.

• 22:44Lewis Howes?

  When does that pattern break?

• 22:45Rob Dial?

  It, for a lot of people, it never does. Like, if someone's listening, the good thing is if someone's listening to this podcast, there's been a moment in their life where they've gone, yeah, I don't like this anymore. Like, there must be something else. Because for the, for most people, they're still in the patterns that you meet. And that's, that's one thing that's really important. Like, I was, I was driving yesterday and, you know, I was driving past a lot of homeless people and, and I was like, man, that's so sad because I, I just wonder what happened in their childhood. Like, that's, I'm never judging anybody. I mean, my dad was, was kind of homeless for a little while and in and out of jail. And so I never look at somebody and judge them, but I look at them and I'm like, I wonder what patterns, and things happen to them to get them to where they are. And I think everyone just needs to become aware of the patterns that they have. So you say autopilot.

• 23:28Rob Dial?

  There's, there's a study that Harvard did, they found about 48% of what we do is autopilot. Like, we wouldn't even think about it.

• 23:34Lewis Howes?

  Forty-eight percent.

• 23:34Rob Dial?

  Forty-eight percent. So half of what we do in the day is just very, uh, I'm just going through the actions. And so, you know, like, I, I love, we, we've talked about it before, Dr. Joe Dispenza, where he talks about this as well, where it's like, you could take yesterday and place it on tomorrow, and it will be exactly the same unless you change.

• 23:51Lewis Howes?

  Same conversations, same thoughts, same actions.

• 23:54Rob Dial?

  It's like 90% of your thoughts are the same as they were yesterday. And so I think the first thing that's important for people is, is the awareness. Like, it's, it's simple. There's, there's two, there's really three steps. The first thing is the awareness, like, who am I? What are the thoughts going through my head? What do I like about myself? What do I want to change about myself? You develop that awareness. The second thing that you should, you should do is when you find the things that you want to change and you become aware of them, is you gotta have some sort of practice. Right? And you, the practice, you decide now, not in the moment. And then you've got to have a lot of repetition around it to start to change. So like, for me, one of the things I realized in myself, They came from my childhood is I was, I noticed about six, seven years ago, I was very judgmental in people. I didn't like it. Like, I don't, I'm like, I love people. Like, why do I immediately see somebody?

• 24:36Rob Dial?

  And in my head, talk trash about them. Like, why? It, it just popped up and it wasn't, it was a, and I always say you can't change your first.

• 24:41Lewis Howes?

  It was a pattern.

• 24:42Rob Dial?

  It was a pattern, right? You can't always change your first thought, but you can always change your second thought. And so I remember there was one time I was in a grocery store and this guy had that, you know, this huge Bluetooth speaker at a grocery store ordering, you know, meat. In the meat section, you had the big one that came across in his mouth. And immediately I judge a guy. And I forced myself to sit there. That was the awareness. I noticed. I noticed that was the awareness. I noticed I'm being judgmental. I'm aware that I don't want to be this way. My practice is I will then take three things that I like about the person and I'll say it in my head. Stop what I'm doing and I will say it. So I sat there. I hope I didn't look like a creep, but he didn't know I was there doing it. And I'm looking at the guy. I'm like, he looks like he's really nice. Um, I really liked what he's wearing.

• 25:22Rob Dial?

  And, uh, at the same time, he's got some, uh, he's got like a really good, uh, physique. He looks like he works on himself. And I was like, that was a practice. And then I was like, okay, cool. Now I can go about my day. So I stopped it in the moment because I was a pattern that I want to stop and I want to, to change. Within myself. And the practice is I was going to do the three things, uh, that I like about him. I said it. And then the last part is the repetition. So every time I did it, I noticed myself start to do this. I taught this to, to somebody who was in one of my groups. And she's, she was like, oh my God, I'm so judgmental as well. So when I notice myself judging somebody, I'm immediately going to say, and I love them. And that's how I'm going to end it.

• 26:01Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:01Rob Dial?

  So then she, like, six months later, she comes in and she's like, I was at a coffee shop the other day. And I noticed this woman, she was like, uh, you know, she was taller than all the guys. She was just a big boned woman. She was like six foot two. And my immediate thought was, holy crap, that's a big woman. And she said, without even thinking, I immediately went, and I love her. And she was like, and I noticed myself go from judgmental to the love side of it. So she could notice six months in the transition of herself. She does that for another six months. She's just going to be able to look at people and be like, I love this person. I love this person. Right. And that's what we're trying to do is identify the patterns we want to change. And then have a practice that we decide of what we're going to do when that awareness pops up. Why do you think so many people are judgmental of others?

• 26:42Rob Dial?

  I mean, I could tell you for myself and I could tell you from a lot of people I've worked with is I think we have a low self-worth. You know, and I think that it was, it was easy for me to bring somebody down because it made me feel better about myself. Right? And it's easier in the moment to be like, oh yeah, screw this person. Oh yeah, that whatever it is that I'm jealous of, or whatever it is that they have that I don't have. My low self-worth, that came from, and I could tell you where it came from, from my dad not being around. Cause I didn't feel like I got my dad's love. My dad was, was an alcoholic and so he wasn't really around. He passed away when I was 15 for being an alcoholic. And I always felt, I end up finding this out like years down the road when I started working on myself. That I felt like I came second to my dad's love. Yeah. I came second to my dad's love to alcohol, right? And so alcohol.

• 27:27Rob Dial?

  So he cared more about drinking than spending quality time with you? When in reality, as an adult, right? Now that I can look at, I was like, he had traumas that he never overcame, but I felt as a kid, he loves alcohol more than he loves me. That's why he's not showing up for me. And so that's the, the, the thought, the subconscious thought that I had and I never was aware of until my, my twenties. And so what happened was I, because I felt second to him, I felt second to everybody else around me. And so how do I make myself in the moment feel better than everybody else? Judge them, talk not, I wouldn't say anything bad to somebody's face, but in my head, I would judge them. I would be jealous. I would want what they had, whatever it might be. Cause I need to make myself in this moment feel better than the other person around me.

• 28:09Rob Dial?

  Because I just never overcame that pattern at that point in time of feeling like I was second. So the way that I make myself not feel second and feel better than, and feel number one, was I would judge everyone that was around me. Wow.

• 28:21Lewis Howes?

  How did it make you feel when you judged others? And what is that? What do most people feel when they're in judgment of other people?

• 28:28Rob Dial?

  I mean, we think that it's gonna make us feel better, but it makes us feel worse, right? Like, I never felt like, man, I'm so glad I judged that person, right? I never felt that way. And so it was like, I feel like what happened with me is it was, it was like a momentary, like, hit of dopamine, okay, I'm better than this person. But then in reality, it made me feel more disconnected from people, right? So I felt more disconnected. And I started pushing my feelings away for years and years and years. There was a moment where, where I finally came and understood, like, I've put my walls up so much that I'm letting nobody in at all. And it was ruining all of my relationships. And, um, and so I, I, I think what I did was I would judge other people first. I would try to cut them down in some sort of way.

• 29:11Rob Dial?

  Because I was so afraid of being vulnerable and being seen. Because in my mind, I thought with what happened with my father, like, you can't trust being close to somebody, like, someone who loves you is gonna leave you. And so you can't let somebody in because that's just, you know, when you look at the root word of vulnerable, it's vulnerar, which means to be wounded, right? I didn't want to be wounded, so I would put up these walls. And there was a moment in my life where I was like, do I just have no feelings? I actually thought that at one point in time. Yeah, I was like, do I not have feelings for people? And I was like, no, I'm actually, what I, years down the road, realized I have so much feelings that I, I think a lot of people will feel this way. I've had people, one lady specifically that I remember, she's like, I have no feelings towards anybody.

• 29:54Rob Dial?

  And I was like, actually, what I think it is, is you have so many feelings, you're afraid of what, what could happen if you let them out.

• 30:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:00Rob Dial?

  Like, I'm like, I'm about a half a second away from crying my entire life. Like, I feel things so much. I was, I swear to God, this is a true story. I was on the way over here and I was, I was listening to Lewis Capaldi or whatever his name was. And I started thinking about, like, how amazing life is. And I started tearing up on the way over here, because I was like, I can't believe I have this life. Like, this is so amazing. Like, I'm so grateful for everything that I have. So I'm, I think I'm so close, and I guess from my mom, my mom's very emotional too. Like, I'm so close to, like, emotions pouring out. And as a man, like, we're taught, a boy, you know, big boys don't cry, especially in sports, right? So we build up walls, build up walls. Things happen with my dad, I build up walls, I build up walls. But then I get into relationships, ruined every one of my relationships with women because of it. And so when I, I started working with my wife on it, like, I had to...

• 30:45Rob Dial?

  Okay, she's getting close. I need to be okay with her getting close, you know?

• 30:48Lewis Howes?

  So how did you break the pattern with her versus ruining all the other relationships?

• 30:54Rob Dial?

  Yeah, like there was, I, I can literally look back on all my other relationships before her and be like, yeah, I screwed that up. Yeah, I screwed that up, right? And I think that's the point of relationships and the point of everything is to screw things up so that you can try to get better. Screw it all up so you can figure it out. And so with her, luckily, she's incredible. And the thing I love most about her is she just gives love, right? And she's this, this space of love. And for, we went to a friend who is inside of, in Austin, about two years into our relationship and he's a couples therapist. And he's like, hey, if you and your girlfriend want to come by, just come on by. And I was like, cool, that sounds fun. Let's see what it's like, right? And, and what he ended up talking to us about is like, we have two different love styles. Like there's the love languages, which is important, but we have two different loving styles, which is,

• 31:38Rob Dial?

  hers is an anchor, which means like, she's good. She's, she's in love, like she's, she's good in love. She shows love. You know, both of her parents are still together. So there's, there's that aspect of it. She's secure, right? That would be, and she's very secure. Me, on the other hand, is I was what he calls an island, which is like, I'm okay with being alone. And so the one thing that he said to me that, that was really interesting is he's like, he's like, it's not just about how you relate to each other, like mentally and talking to each other. You also have to be very aware of your nervous systems. And Rob's nervous system lights up whenever you come in too, too fast. Like with someone who's an island, you take time to warm up in someone's presence. So that was one thing that really helped us is I'd be sitting, working, trying to grow the business and stuff.

• 32:23Rob Dial?

  She would come in with all this love and I'd be like, red flag, red flag, red flag. Like, you know, someone's attacking the, the fort.

• 32:28Lewis Howes?

  Just loving you.

• 32:29Rob Dial?

  Just by giving me love. That was it. Because it was like, I don't know if this is safe, right? Because I never felt safe with that, right? And so what happened was we started learning like, okay, it takes me a little bit longer to warm up. So there'd be a few minutes where she would come in, she'd talk to me and stuff. And then she started giving me love and it was like, oh, now I can receive this. And so for me, it was just like, understanding like, okay, there's hers love style, there's my love style. Uh, there's definitely five love languages that go in there. And really, I think it's more the other is like, I, I think that when I look at like what love is, like we see love and as, as on, on TV is like, Head over heels and it's more lust than anything else and you fall for each other so

• 33:09Rob Dial?

  much love. What I think love is, is feeling safe in the presence of somebody else where you know you have so much to work on and they have so much to work on and I feel safe, I feel safe in my wife's presence to work on all of my childhood trauma with her, through her, and, and being able to try to rewrite that story through her.

• 33:29Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's cool.

• 33:30Rob Dial?

  Yeah, and that's, that's the way that I see it. It's like, I love her, she's amazing, she's like the, the rock in my life, like she's the glue of everything. But at the same time, it's like, I have never felt in a moment unsafe and that she doesn't want the best for me and she wants to help me with whatever it is that I'm working through.

• 33:44Lewis Howes?

  It's pretty sweet. It's pretty nice.

• 33:47Rob Dial?

  But it's hard to get there. It's hard, it's hard, you know, it took years of opening up. We've been together for 10 years now, right?

• 33:51Lewis Howes?

  10 years?

• 33:52Rob Dial?

  10 years, yeah. We celebrated 10 years last month.

• 33:55Lewis Howes?

  When did it start to switch over for you where you felt emotionally safe in the relationship with your wife?

• 34:00Rob Dial?

  I mean, it was, it's slowly a process.

• 34:03Lewis Howes?

  Like last month?

• 34:04Rob Dial?

  Yeah, I'm still working on that one. Um, no, I would say probably, probably six years, man. Like, it took, it took a ton. And, and the, the thing that, that I'm grateful for is that she saw me working on it, me trying to get better and me opening up, that she, uh, didn't leave because it's like she wasn't getting what she wanted or something like that. And so I think that, that it was me opening up and it's, you know, it's a relationship. We both have things that we need to work on. So, you know, there's definitely times where she's working on things and I'm like the, the one that's solid for her. And so I think that for me, it probably took like six years. It took, it took until we went, we went and traveled, um, about three years into our relationship, we went and traveled for six months overseas. We were completely out of the country for

• 34:48Rob Dial?

  six months. And I didn't realize it, but that was like a make or break moment in our relationship where she was like, I don't know if this is gonna work.

• 34:55Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 34:55Rob Dial?

  Yeah. And then, and then after she was like, this is definitely working. She's like, because there was no fights, there was nothing, and it worked. And so she's like, okay, I think that, after we came back from that is where we really were a whole lot tighter. And so probably about three years in there and then six years where it's like, I'm gonna keep opening myself up and, you know, I'm sure I'll look back in 10 years to this conversation and be like, oh yeah, there was still a lot that I wasn't open up to, you know? So it's like, I feel like I'm the most open, but I'm sure that over years, um, I'm gonna keep finding more aspects of myself that I need to work on.

• 35:24Lewis Howes?

  You haven't arrived yet?

• 35:25Rob Dial?

  No, that's, that's an important, and that's an important thing, man. Like, I think that everyone listening to this podcast needs to, to realize, like, I, for years of self-development, you know, I've been working on myself now for 19 years is when I first got into self-development. When I was 19, I'm about to turn 38. 19 years, and for, I would say, the first 17 years, I was like, working towards a destination of like, getting there, whatever getting there was. And now I've come to the realization of, I'm, I hope I live to 100 years old. And if I live to 100, I'm still going to be working on myself. And, and it's like, cliches are cliches because I think they're true. Where it's like, not about the destination, it's the journey. Like, it's not about getting there, it's about this process of like, you know what?

• 36:08Rob Dial?

  I'm gonna work on myself, and, and I'm gonna love myself while I'm working on myself. And it's a journey. And as soon as one thing, I get better at one thing, there's probably gonna be another thing that pops up I need to work on.

• 36:19Lewis Howes?

  What do you think are the three energies that are blocking people the most from success, love, and fulfillment in their life?

• 36:27Rob Dial?

  I think the, the main thing is people feel like they're not good enough. We feel like we're not worthy of it.

• 36:34Rob Dial?

  We feel like we're not smart enough, not pretty enough. You know, when I look at people's paradigm and their identity they have of themselves, I always say it's like, it's like ice cream, but it's where it's all, all ice cream is ice cream, it's just different flavors. Where it's like, everybody's core, and I've worked with thousands and thousands and thousands of people in this, and I still haven't found one person whose core feeling is I'm not enough. And if I'm not enough, I won't be loved. And that's, that's what I found with every person. The way it shows up in other ways is like, I'm not smart enough, I'm not worthy of love, I'm afraid of failure, I'm afraid of success, I'm, you know, I'm not gonna be able to provide for my family. All of those stem back to because you feel like you're not enough. I won't be able to provide for my family because you feel like you're not enough to be able to get there. I feel like I'm gonna fail because you feel like you're not enough to succeed.

• 37:19Rob Dial?

  And so, then the next question that pops up with people is, well, why does everybody feel like they're not enough? And so, this is, when I say like, I spend a lot of time in silence, this one thing it took my wife a long time to get used to is, is my silence. Like, I'll just go outside and I'll sit for two hours. She was like, what did I do wrong? Like, that's originally what she thought, you know, like, that was her thing she was working on? But I'll sit there and I'll just think. And, and I'll think for a long time. And the thing that drove me the craziest was like, why do we all feel like we're not enough in some sort of way? And I have a couple of theories and ways that I think that it pops up. The first thing is that, you know, if you look at a child, if a child, you know, is six months old and you have your drink next to them while you're changing them and they kick it off

• 38:01Rob Dial?

  and they spill coffee all over the ground, you're not going to yell at a six months old, right? If they're one year old, they're learning how to walk and they knock your coffee off onto the ground and they spill it onto the floor. You're not going to yell at them at one years old, but at some point, a parent treats a child as if they're an adult and they think they should know it by now. And this is not me judging parents in any sort of way. That's the hardest job in the world. But at some point, we all have a break where the parent goes, what are you doing? It could be three years old, it could be four years old, and the child immediately thinks there's something wrong with me because they feel a retraction of their parents' love, which is the most safety that they can feel. And then there's a break off and the average child is reprimanded eight times more than they're praised.

• 38:43Rob Dial?

  And because a lot of times, a lot of times, parents are trying to keep their children alive, you know, like kids are wanting to jump off of big walls. And so what we do is we, we parent, the same with our parents, which is usually yelling at the child. And so the average child is reprimanded eight times more than they're praised. Yeah, fear. Which, which goes to, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough, eight times more. I'm not doing it right. Not doing it right, I don't know what I'm doing. And, and a lot of times we have this, this built into our system after a while of like, looking over our shoulder being like, mom, am I doing this right? Am I, am I doing this right? Am I doing this right? And we develop this, I don't know what I'm doing on my own, I can't do this, I'm not smart enough, I need somebody else to tell me what to do. Someone else's approval. Right, all of that. And so in, in turn, what happens is we start to develop this like, I'm not enough.

• 39:26Rob Dial?

  And it's all just different flavors of I'm not enough. And so what happens is, and I can speak for myself, is what made me think that I would finally be enough is achievement, right? Success. Success. Once I make a certain amount of money, once I have a certain amount of followers, once I get to this level of success, then I'll finally be enough. And then I got there and I realized, yeah, you're still that hurt little boy inside. Right? You're still that, that there's nothing that's different about you. And, uh, you know, we spoke about this last time on the podcast where you were talking, we, we kind of spoke about it. And you said, there was a guy that was in your, your building that, that just jumped off the building, right? Super successful. And so we think like, so many of us think that success and money are going to get us a point of fulfillment.

• 40:07Rob Dial?

  You'll never get there. And nothing external will ever fulfill you. So like my, my path has been external, external, external. My path from now on, like what I'm working on, and it's, it's a daily process is can I feel like I love myself and I'm fulfilled? Without having to do anything. And that's a process and that's really hard to get to. And I, I meditate on a journal on it and I, I sit in silence and I just think about like, think about how far you've come. Think about all that you've done. And even though you've done all of these things and you have stuff to show the world, you still feel like you're not enough. Why is that? And so I, I've been working on that and just being like, you know what?

• 40:47Rob Dial?

  There's nothing that you need to do today. I can, if I want to, but there's nothing you need to do today. Nothing that you could accomplish today that can make you more of who you already are. And as you are, you deserve love. And so instead of going and seeking for that love, why don't you just actually try to do it right now in this, in the moment that you're sitting with yourself? And so like, there could be three energies, but I think they're all just different moldings of that one energy of I'm not enough. And so I think that if most people can realize like, there's a meditation I used to do from a guy named Muji. And he used to always say, he said, you have, you have no pockets. You have no storehouse, which basically means like, no matter what you do, until the day you die, you cannot be more or less of what you currently are.

• 41:30Rob Dial?

  And so why don't you just decide to give yourself love and acceptance in this moment without having to achieve anything? And then go out into the world and achieve from the feeling of already feeling like you're whole versus you feel like there's a void inside of you.

• 41:44Lewis Howes?

  What happens when we achieve something when we feel like we're not enough?

• 41:48Rob Dial?

  I mean, it's it's usually not that great. Like, I don't know about you. Like, I had this moment

• 41:55Rob Dial?

  two weeks ago, I think it was with my my VP of Operations and she was like, she she was like, she was like, you ever sit back and like, think about what you've done? And I'm like, you're already laughing because you're like, yeah, I don't even do this enough either, right? And she's like, she's like, you ever like, think about like, like, we were talking about coming out here to LA and like how I'm on your podcast and all these amazing podcasts, like, things that I've wanted to do for years are like, all come. She's like, you wrote a book last year, like, very few people write books. And she's like, have you celebrated any of that? And I was like, no. And she's like, why? And I was like,

• 42:30Rob Dial?

  I mean, all of my friends have podcasts, all of them have books. So it just seemed like, which is kind of a good thing because it's like the five of the people that you spend the most time with, like, you know, I'm spending time with you, you've written three books. And I can immediately be like, oh, my God, I'm not good enough because I haven't written three. Right? But it's like, even with all of the all of the achievement and success, there's like, as soon as you get there, there's the next thing. Before my book even came out and it was like about to launch, I already had the idea for the next one. I was like, this is so stupid.

• 42:57Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 42:57Rob Dial?

  Like, why don't you just sit there first and be like, yeah, you wrote a book. This is amazing. You never thought you would write a book. It was never a goal of yours. You know, and you and then and so that's why I started kind of like tearing up this morning as I was driving, listening to Lewis Cabalde and whatever his plays last night, I don't even know what it is. But I said, and I was driving and I was like, I was like, man, there was a time when you were sitting in your friend's house that you were renting a room from him and you were like, I'm gonna start this podcast thing. And first it was me and my friend together. And then he ended up before he launched it, he's like, yeah, I don't want to be a part of it. I was like, okay, I guess I'll do this alone. But they were terrible and they were horrible. And I would never, I I can look back at that and be like, man, you've come so far. You've done so much.

• 43:39Rob Dial?

  But a lot of times we're like, looking out of the the the front windshield, saying, what's next? What's next? What's next? What's next? Versus like, take a moment every single day to look in the rearview mirror and go, you know what? I've done a lot and I'm proud of myself for what I've done.

• 43:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I have a photo, I'm gonna pull it up real quick, that my sister sent me recently.

• 44:00Lewis Howes?

  And it's of my, it's of myself when I was probably like five or six, right? Oh my god. So it's like, uh, there's a little car, you know, I'm playing with. Yeah. My sister sent a video of me like playing with this little toy car. Uh, my grandmother is filming it. Yeah. And it's, you know, I was watching this video and then she sent me a screenshot of me like smiling at the camera as this little kid. And I showed this to my fiance, Martha, you probably won't be able to see it in the camera here, but I showed this to my fiance Martha the other day. She goes, wow, I would have really liked this kid. Like this little boy, I would have, you would have been like a good friend of mine. Yeah. Really? I just felt like I was worthless. Yeah. I just felt like I was the youngest, I was stupid, everyone was better than me. And it just didn't feel like I was enough.

• 44:46Lewis Howes?

  She was like, nah, you had blonde hair, I was, I would have been attracted to you, right? And I was like, okay. But she goes, you know, the interesting thing is like, isn't it crazy that your soul was in this little body? Hmm. And you've transformed and changed over the last, you know, thirty five years now. Hmm. And this is a past life. She goes, past lives doesn't have to be, you know, before you were born and thinking about like past lives. But thirty five years ago was a past life. Your cells were different. The way you thought was different, you know, your, your environment was different. Your habits were different. It was a past life. Yeah. And your soul has stayed inside of this body that has transformed and,

• 45:27Lewis Howes?

  and ascended from what it was thirty five years ago, five years ago, two years ago, you know, three months ago. We're constantly changing and evolving. Whether we like it or not, but we have to ask ourselves, do we want to change our thoughts and our habits and our actions? Um, and it's crazy to think like I never, you know, as a kid, I'd always dreamed of having a life where I felt loved. And I loved myself and felt like I was able to make an impact and fulfill the dreams that I had, right? And so Martha, she'll look at me, she does this with me every week. She'll look at me, we'll just be walking down the street and she'll just look at me and start crying. She'll be like, wow, life is so amazing. Like, we're so blessed. She starts tearing up and just like, almost every week, she's like, I'm so grateful for life. I'm so grateful for the life we get to live.

• 46:13Lewis Howes?

  I'm so grateful we have each other, you know, we both get to follow and pursue things we enjoy. I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful. And I think a lot of people don't recognize, even when they're in a bad situation or they're stressed out or struggling, I don't think people realize how much of a gift it is to experience life.

• 46:29Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 46:30Lewis Howes?

  And you and I both have been in times where, you know, we've been stressed out, broke, you know, not feeling enough, all these different things for years. And even then, it took me a while. I remember when I started to shift my mindset and shift my energy around the situations I was in, where I was on my sister's couch, didn't not making any money, you know, had a surgery and just feel like, what's the point of life?

• 46:53Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 46:54Lewis Howes?

  And I remember when I started to shift it from a depressed state and a victim energy into more of, let's experiment, let's have fun with where I'm at. Everything started to change for me when I shifted that energy of victim, stress, overwhelmed. And it doesn't mean it wasn't still challenging, but I made it more fun moment by moment. I made it an adventure. I think having that mindset really allowed me to take actions from a more positive state. Those positive states created more positive results day by day, which eventually led to something over time that was more positive.

• 47:30Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 47:31Lewis Howes?

  And I think if people can start thinking that way, it will help them to attract what they want quicker. And you talk about this concept, this exercise called future pacing. And I'm curious if you can explain what future pacing is.

• 47:45Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 47:45Lewis Howes?

  How we can apply this today to start manifesting what we want in a faster, better way.

• 47:51Rob Dial?

  Yeah. I started almost, I was like, getting a little bit teary eyed when you were talking about your walks with Martha, because my wife does the same thing.

• 47:57Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 47:57Rob Dial?

  And she, she like keeps me grateful, right? Like, it's, it's, it's good to have that where she, she's like, she'll start tearing up too. And I'm like, what is it? Because? She's like, It's random moments. What am I, and then my, my wounds go, what am I doing wrong? I'm like, what did I do? And she's like, and, and so it's like, She's like, life is just so good. It's so amazing. It's amazing. Do you ever think about how beautiful life is? I know. And I'm like, oh, my God, yeah, thank you for reminding me of this. And so, um, so yes, I definitely agree with you. Um, the thing that, that is, the reason why I actually changed the name of the book from the psychology of taking action to level up is because of kind of what you're talking about, which is my view of the world is I feel like the world is a video game. And it happens to work for me because I'm, I'm real competitive. So I'm like, let me see how I can get to the next level.

• 48:40Rob Dial?

  And so when you look at like future pacing, I'll kind of explain it and I'll explain it in the, the view of the video game itself. So I always look at life as if I'm in a certain level. You know, like I'm at a level, I'm at level 37, next month I'm going to be a level 38 of this game, right? And at level 37, there's been many challenges that have come to me. And I used to be the same way where I was definitely a victim and I would make excuses. And I had a conversation with my, uh, when I was 19, I hired a one-on-one coach and we met every single week. And he was trying to help me get better at sales and get better, you know, taking action like I was supposed to. And I was always late for calls. I was always making excuses why I didn't take the actions. And then he, he had a legitimate conversation with me and he goes, he goes, hey, if a business fails, whose fault is it?

• 49:25Rob Dial?

  And I was like, the CEO's. He said, if a business succeeds and somebody's able to get all thousand employees to go towards one mission, they succeed. Whose fault is that? And I was like, that's the CEO's fault. He said, now, if you get to the end of your life and you are just regretting it and you don't like what it's become and you feel like you wish you would have done more and you wish that you would have had more potential that you would have brought out to light, whose fault would that have been? And I was like, that'd be my fault. He goes, but if you get to the end of your life and it's everything that you wanted it to be, and you saw every single challenge as something that was built for you to improve, and you improve with every single challenge, you get to the end of your life and you look back and you're like, man, I'm so glad everything I did, whose fault would that be? And I was like, that would be mine. He said, the problem is, Rob, you're acting like a victim and you're making all of these excuses.

• 50:10Rob Dial?

  Your life will not change until you decide to be the CEO of your life and blame everything on yourself, good or bad. We talked for two years. That's the only conversation I remember. All of them were good. That was the most probably life-changing moment. That I've ever had in my entire life because I was like, I get it. It's all my fault. And so with every challenge, it went from the challenge that would come to me and then I'd make excuses to why I was folding. Oh yeah, it's because of this. And then it became, oh, this challenge is coming to me. It's my fault. I need to be the one that ends up, you know, doing something with this. And so the way that you look at that of the whole course of life is I remember and the way I came up with future pacing is I was planning. This is in two thousand and two thousand and nineteen before stuff got real crazy, right?

• 50:54Rob Dial?

  I was gonna do a big event in twenty twenty, right? That didn't happen, but I didn't know at the moment. And so I felt all of these fears. Oh my God, I'm the only person on my team. I don't have a team. I'm not good with logistics. I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I gotta get people to fly in. I gotta find a hotel. And all of the reasons why not, which usually happens with us, came into my head. And I said, okay, let me, this is, I don't feel good. Let me flip this. And I was at a coffee shop in Austin at Lazarus is what it's called. I remember exactly where I was doing it. And I said, okay, the moment, I'm gonna write from the moment where everyone's leaving the event.

• 51:28Rob Dial?

  I had three hundred people show up to event in Austin, Texas. This is how I did it. And I started writing from the future version of me that just accomplished that thing. And I started writing it as if it was just a journal entry. And I started writing it and I was just like letting it flow out of me. And then what happened was, it was really interesting. I got done. It was like two pages. I went, oh my God, this is the entire plan. Like it was literally the entire plan that was hard for me to access because I was in so much fear. When I put myself into the future version of myself, it was like all of the downloads came from it.

• 51:58Lewis Howes?

  How did I do this?

• 51:59Rob Dial?

  Right. Which we ended up doing the event just a couple of years later. So it ended up working, which is, which is what's awesome. It didn't, once again, time didn't work out the way I wanted it to. That's the way the universe works. But it did eventually happen. And so what happens is a lot of times when we decide that we want to change, the immediate feelings of fear pop up because our ego wants to keep us in the exact same place because that's safe. Change is a threat to the brain. So it's all unknown. We don't know what's gonna happen if we get outside of our comfort zone. But if we can take ourselves and put ourselves into a future level or into a future where we accomplish this thing and say, I just, you know, if someone's goal is to make a hundred thousand dollars a year. I just made a hundred thousand dollars in 2024. This is exactly how I did it and just let it flow out of them. One thing that I've, I've told people many times, it's really interesting that the feedback I get.

• 52:44Rob Dial?

  Some people say that the exact words of I, I was still writing, but I didn't feel like I was writing it anymore. It was just kind of flowing out of me as if I wasn't the one doing it. It was just God or the universe just flowing out of me and saying, this is what it is. And then a lot of times people look at it and they go, oh my God, this is the exact plan of how to do it. And then when you look at that, it gets so exciting to look at that plan where you're like, all right, yeah, I kind of want to take some action now.

• 53:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Rob Dial?

  Because now I'm not thinking about the failure of it. I'm thinking about the success of it and I'm thinking about what that would be like. So it's just the, the flipping of looking at the future in fear versus looking at the future in excitement, which is, is really interesting. One thing I, I, I talk about a lot and I don't know if people like truly get it in their bones is that we are so incredible as humans. Our brains are so incredible that you and I right now can sit in this moment in your basement and think about a future. And no matter what that future is, our brain can actually make our body feel the feelings of it's happening right now. The problem is we sit here and we go, I'm going to start this business. And then our brain immediately flips to, well, the business could fail. These are all the reasons why it could fail.

• 53:52Rob Dial?

  And we feel the feelings right now in this present moment where there's no problems of a business failing.

• 53:57Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 53:57Rob Dial?

  It makes it really hard to take action when you feel the feelings of failure and fear and anxiety inside of you, being broke, all of that. And so it's, it's a lot harder, but we could also sit in this moment and we can, this is the, what the power of visualization is. And visualize what it could be, what we want it to be, what it's going to feel like when we do end up hitting that goal. And we can feel those feelings. And so instead of having to like white knuckle our way to our goals, which I did for years and push and push and push and bash my head into walls and just go anyways. Instead of having to push, I can actually feel pulled towards my goal because I'm being excited by what's about to come down. Um, what's about to come for me because I'm feeling the feelings of the success versus feeling the feelings of the failure.

• 54:38Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 54:38Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 54:40Lewis Howes?

  What do you think is every, what do you think is everyone watching or listening right now? What do you think is the number one thing they need to hear in their lives?

• 54:49Rob Dial?

  Yeah, something that I've been working really hard on, that's not the easiest. You just need to learn to accept reality. And I find that most of the time, what we're doing is we're just, we're just, like I just said a second ago, we're kind of like white knuckling our way through life. And, and one of the things I've been really working hard on recently is accepting every aspect of myself. So for years, there was like parts of myself I wanted to change, right? And now it's me looking at those parts and saying, I love this part of me as much as I love the other parts of me.

• 55:26Lewis Howes?

  Could you still want to change those parts of you?

• 55:27Rob Dial?

  Sure. Well, the thing is, when you, when you actually accept them, they start changing. We think like, okay, what's the next step? What's the next thing that I have to do? And so what's really interesting is like, let's say for instance, that I, I'm very selfish, right? And I'm like, okay, so I've, I've understood this conflict inside of me of selfishness, right? And I want to change this aspect, this selfishness. So inside of me, there's a conflict, which is selfishness. When I want to change an aspect of me, I create another conflict. So now I'm fighting two demons at one time, which is the selfishness and the aspect that I want to change the selfishness inside of me. But if I look at myself and I say, like Alan Watts says this, like he always says, like, you're, all of us are just rascals. Like there's parts of you that is a rascal.

• 56:11Rob Dial?

  Like there's a part of me that is, that is, that is amazing. There's a part of me that's loving. There's a part of me that's sweet. There's a part of me that wants to give love to every person that I meet. There's also a part of me that is selfish. There's a part of me that's judgmental. And there's a part of me that could be, you know, sometimes like there's, there's parts of me that I don't necessarily enjoy as much. And I want to change them. When I want to change them, it creates another conflict, which is now I'm fighting, I'm fighting aspects of myself versus saying, you know what? Yeah, there's parts of Rob that are selfish. And I can see from his childhood why those parts of him exist. And I know what that kid was going through. Where he said, there's no one else that's gonna be taking care of me. I'm alone at this. I need to develop this selfishness. And I can go, you know what?

• 56:56Rob Dial?

  I can still love that part of me. And when what's interesting is when you stop resisting it. And you start accepting it. It just kind of fades away a little bit more. And it's not about getting rid of it. It's about if it's at a seven out of 10. It starts getting to a four out of 10, a five out of 10. And so if I can just accept myself fully. And I can go, yeah, there's parts of me that are that are beautiful. And there's parts of me that are not beautiful. This the outward world is just a reflection of all of us in the internal. There's parts of this world that are beautiful. There's parts of us that are not beautiful. And so I can look at the world and be like, I want to change this aspect of the world. I always go, does that aspect of me live inside of me? And I'm like, it does. Okay, so how can I love that part of me? And so the biggest tip I can give people that I am unconsciously trying to work on is much.

• 57:41Rob Dial?

  This is what I'm spending majority of my time in silences. Is when I identify parts of myself that I want to quote unquote, change. Instead of trying to change. Can I just accept? And what's really interesting is when when you accept. It makes it way easier to love yourself. Which when I said like, we're all. Our biggest fear is I'm not good enough. And if I'm not good enough, I won't be loved. Whatever we're searching for from the external, we're actually searching for from ourself. And so what's keeping me from loving myself is wanting to change myself.

• 58:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 58:09Rob Dial?

  And so if I can go, I don't want to change myself. I want to love myself more.

• 58:15Rob Dial?

  It's there's so much less resistance to the world and everything just seems a lot easier.

• 58:19Lewis Howes?

  That's big. So stop trying to change yourself. Starts to start accepting yourself and then you'll start to change.

• 58:25Rob Dial?

  Right, and you'll start to love yourself. So it's not a lot of people like, I want to get better at self love.

• 58:28Lewis Howes?

  So I can love, well, I want to get changed so I can love myself.

• 58:31Rob Dial?

  Right, exactly.

• 58:32Lewis Howes?

  But in both to accepting and loving yourself. And knowing you still have work to do.

• 58:37Rob Dial?

  Love, I believe, is if you look at a child. Love is a natural state of a human. Which has accidentally been programmed out of us, I think, through a lot of. Parents and society and all that stuff. And so a lot of people like, I want to work on self love. How do I love myself more? The the key to it is not trying to change yourself to love yourself. The key to it is to self love is self acceptance. If I love, if I accept all aspects of myself. And I stop resisting, the natural state that I flow back to is just a state of self-love. And it's love for myself, but it's also love for everyone else around me.

• 59:10Lewis Howes?

  We're talking about patterns here. In your whole show, Mindset Mentor, really gets people in a framework around how to think differently to support themselves for success and more peace and abundance. We talked about money briefly the last time you were on.

• 59:28Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 59:28Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious.

• 59:29Rob Dial?

  That video went crazy viral too.

• 59:30Lewis Howes?

  It went crazy, yeah.

• 59:31Rob Dial?

  I like that people like that.

• 59:32Lewis Howes?

  I know. I'm curious, you know, since most of our life is about the patterns we live in, and we're on autopilot. How important is our mindset around money? And what are a few things we can do every day to start cultivating a different mindset of abundance versus a pattern of scarcity that we've had our entire lives around money?

• 59:55Rob Dial?

  Yeah, I mean, this is one thing I've worked on a lot, which is I, and I'm still currently working on it, and I'm probably working on it till the day I die. I'm accepting that, right? Is, um, is that, uh, the universe is abundant. And I think scarcity only lives in the human mind. Like, when you look at, I, when I sit outside and sit in silence, I have a backyard and a bunch of trees and some property and stuff. And I always look at it and I go, okay, I'm a part of nature. I'm not separate from nature. And so there's aspects of me that were, were the same. And I look at nature and I go, what can I learn from nature? And I've started like asking myself and trying to figure this out. And if you look at like, an apple tree, right? The point of an apple tree is not to give a human apples to eat.

• 1:00:39Rob Dial?

  A point of an apple tree is to reproduce and make more apple trees. And so the way that it does it is not by, an apple tree does not make one apple to try to make another apple tree. It makes, it's on average about 800 apples a year that could fall off, go roll down, be outside of the shade of it, and it could get in the sun and they could turn into an apple tree. That's abundance. If you look at- The universe that we live in, I think there's 200 trillion stars that are in this universe that's constantly expanding. There's, there's abundance in everything, all over the place, all the time. And if you look at like, even just to go to like, a human creating another human, I think it's like, hundreds of millions of sperm that men create every single day,

• 1:01:22Rob Dial?

  to go to one egg. And so it's like, there, there's, there's abundance to try to make this, this reproducing thing happen, right? So it's like, there's so much abundance everywhere. What I found for myself is that I was always looking through this like myopic viewpoint of scarcity everywhere. And when I look through the viewpoint of there's so much scarcity, then it makes it a competition and it makes it, oh, well, you know, Lewis is making a bunch of money. He's stealing money from me. It's the way a lot of people feel like he, if he succeeds, then that means I'm not succeeding. That's what a lot of people think. Oh, this person just, just became successful. That means that there's less in the world for me. But in reality, it's not that way at all. There's so much abundance everywhere around you. So if you're looking through the viewpoint of scarcity, and this is just a simple challenge for people. If you, if you notice, yeah, I have a scarcity mindset. I've been looking through,

• 1:02:07Rob Dial?

  okay, I don't like when this person succeeds because I feel like they're taking away from me. I don't like when that person, um, when, when my, uh, my sister succeeds because then my, my parents are gonna love her more than love me because there's a scarcity of love. There's a scarcity of everything around. When you realize that like, there is no scarcity anywhere around you, the only place that scarcity exists is in your mind. Wow. Then you can start to say, okay, well, let me actually look and try to find abundance around me. Like if my, going back to the example, if my mom loves my sister a lot, does that mean that she has less love for me? Like I've never met somebody who has a bunch of kids and I go, well, I ran out of love for my children, right? It's, there's no, there's no scarcity around it, but we think, oh yeah, it's a competition between me and my sister.

• 1:02:49Rob Dial?

  And we think when someone else succeeds, like, oh, they just made a million, they signed a million dollar contract. That means there's a million dollars less for me. Right? Money's constantly being used and circulated and so. When you look at it, you realize that nobody, just very few people, take money and just put it into their bank account. That eventually gets spent somewhere or goes somewhere else. So it's constantly circulating all the time. And so just because somebody else succeeds doesn't mean that you can't. There is enough room for every single person in this world to succeed in whatever it is that they want to succeed at. And so what I would say is, and I think I've been saying a lot of people with a lot of people is, is test the validity of your thoughts. And this is what they say in cognitive behavioral therapy. Test the validity of it. So if I have a thought of, of there's not enough to go around.

• 1:03:33Rob Dial?

  Okay, let's just test the validity of it. And the way that you do that, people always ask me, the example I give is, imagine that you're on the debate team in high school, right? And your whole life, you've been on the viewpoint of there's not enough money to go around. Now, what I want you to do, just for fun, just go ahead and try to debate the other side. And say, there's more money than to go around for every single person.

• 1:03:55Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:03:55Rob Dial?

  And just debate it for a minute and see if you can find any proof that the other side might be true. Because what happens is our beliefs are just a set of patterns and thoughts that we've done over and over and over and over and over again. And because we've had it happen so many times, we believe that that's actually true. And true means like written into the fabric of the universe, right? Is it true that there is not enough to go around? Okay, well, let's test it. Let's say, is there a possibility that there's enough money to go around for every single person? Is there enough love to go around for every single person? There's enough happiness to go around for every single person? Is there a possibility that there's enough for every single person? And if there is, your belief is complete BS and there's never been true in the first place.

• 1:04:36Rob Dial?

  Which is like, we, our beliefs are like a house of cards. You just need like one good flick and it all crumbles. And once it crumbles and you see the other side of it, you go, all right, let me start opening myself up a little bit more to it. And so, um, you know, like I give like tips and tricks and tactics around it, but I think, people just need to understand is that the most important thing is just what is your perception of life? And is it possible to just look through another, another viewpoint to see what it could be?

• 1:05:02Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is the number one thing you did to heal your relationship with money and start bringing in more financial abundance?

• 1:05:10Rob Dial?

  Gratitude. Being grateful for it. And this is, and I'll say it again, I think this is, this is what I said in the last podcast, but I think that's, I for the longest time had this, this viewpoint of there's not enough money to go around. And I didn't know I had it, but it was just like scarcity around money because money was scarce when I was a kid. Right? I remember hearing things like my mom saying, we don't have enough money. Right? I can't buy that because we don't have enough money. I did a lot of, I did a lot of shame around money too. Like I remember the most, I remember the first moment I had shame around money was I wanted, remember GAK? When we were kids at GAK? It was like that, it came like an egg and it was like, kind of like a Play-Doh thing.

• 1:05:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:46Rob Dial?

  I wanted GAK. And my mom was like, we don't have enough money for it. And I was like, three or four years old, I remember throwing a fit. Right? On the couch, to the point where she's like, all right, fine, let's go. We went to Target to go get it. And I remember, feeling so much shame at like, four years old. Because we didn't have money. And my fit made my mom go buy money that we didn't have. Like go, go, go buy it with the money that we didn't have. So I felt shame. I was like, shame's first was that feeling around money. And scarcity around money because we don't have enough. There's not enough to buy these things. Right? And so, so for me, what happened was with the scarcity mindset around money, was in every single time money would come in, because my energy around money was scarcity. It was never enough. It was, okay, you know, I'd make,

• 1:06:30Rob Dial?

  whatever, $2,000. And I'd be like, like I want to make, why am I not a millionaire yet? Why don't I have $100,000? You know what? I only got $2,000. I'm gonna, I'm just gonna be able to pay my bills. I don't have anything extra. And so it was immediately, because the energy of it was scarcity, when it would come in, it was scarcity. When I would spend it, it was scarcity. I would be afraid to check my bank account because there was times when I checked my bank account. And it was not enough. There was negative money in my bank account many, many times. Right? I went back in my like, old email account a couple of years ago, to like 2011. And I think in the, the last three months of the year 2011, I had seven overdraft fees. Right? So I know what it's like to not have, to not even have $0, but to have less than $0 in my account. Right? So the energy around money was scarcity.

• 1:07:16Rob Dial?

  And then what happened was I remember hearing a podcast one time where somebody was saying, your problem with, with money is that you think too scarce. Whenever you walk past a penny on the ground, do you pick it up? I was like, no, I don't. Most people don't because it's just a penny. But if you pick it up and think, oh my, this is, this is the universe trusting me with this penny. Thank you so much for this. And I put it in my pocket. If I can be trusted with a little, well, then maybe I could start to be trusted with a lot more.

• 1:07:43Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 1:07:44Rob Dial?

  And so then, you know, with having an online business, payments come in at random times. And so I would, I set my notifications on that every time a payment would come through, I would stop everything that I'm doing. Once again, awareness, practice, repetition. The awareness was I have scarcity around money. I want to change this. The practice is, I'm going to feel grateful every time this money comes in. So I'd close my eyes and I would say, God, I'd see the person's name too. So I'd say like, Joseph, thank you so much for trusting me in your transformation. God, please give me whatever guidance I need to help this person get to wherever they want to be in their life.

• 1:08:16Lewis Howes?

  That's good.

• 1:08:16Rob Dial?

  And then I would go back into what I was doing for the day over and over and over again. So the awareness was I had the scarcity. I wanted to change it to abundance. I want to change it to gratitude. So the practice was every time a payment would come in, I would force myself to stop anything that I would do and close my eyes. And I would have cultivate the feeling of gratitude. And then the repetition, I would do it over and over and over and over again. And over years and thousands of payments, it just became a thing now where it's like, I have, I have this feeling of so much gratitude towards it. And what I have found is that if you can be trusted with a little, you can be trusted with a lot. And that also comes with like sharing it. And I was, you know, very cheap and I don't want to give anybody anything. And I was, I was notorious for being the cheapest person out of all of my friends 10 years ago. A hundred percent, right?

• 1:08:58Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 1:08:59Rob Dial?

  And I was like, I need to change that. I need to start seeing what I can do. And so sometimes we'll go out and I'm like, I'll pick up the bill and I'll, I'll do these things. And so it's like, you go buy people. One of the things that I've done since I was, since I was probably 20 years old is I, I like to keep water and crackers and $1 bills inside of my car. So when I see a homeless person, I don't go, oh yeah, I'm going to judge them for the money that I give them. I say, hey, this was given, I think in my mind, this was given to me to give to them. And so it's just flowing through me to give them. So I'm going to give them water. I'm going to give them crackers. I'm going to give you a couple of dollars. And what I found is that my brain has started to realize if I can give to this other person and I can still eat, then there must be an abundance. I have an abundance in my bank account. And so that's just been like the way that I've cultivated in myself, the, the, the change of scarcity mindset around money to abundance around it.

• 1:09:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:09:44Rob Dial?

  And it's still something I'm working on. Like it's not, I don't expect it to ever be gone, but I'm trying my best to work through it.

• 1:09:49Lewis Howes?

  What do you think is the number one story blocking people from creating abundance? The story they tell themselves.

• 1:09:56Rob Dial?

  I don't think that that most people feel like they are capable or worthy of success.

• 1:10:03Rob Dial?

  Whatever success means to them. And so I think that first off, people need to actually describe what success is. For some people, for me, what success was was being, you know, getting, making millions of dollars and stuff. For some people, success might mean being a really great father or mother. For some people, it might be something different, whatever that might be. And so I think that what it is, is to say like, well, where is it that I want to be in life? And the thing that I love about being human is you can create anything that you want to create. You know, like I don't, I don't expect that I'm going to be in the NBA, right? I think those times have passed and I wasn't that good. I was decent, right? So like, I understand that's something I can't create, but there are other things I can say with where I am now in life. What is it that I want to create? If I lived to 98, I've got 60 more years.

• 1:10:47Rob Dial?

  Over the next 60 years, what is it I want to create? And then I figure it out and then I just sit there and I say, are there any fears or limiting beliefs that are coming up? While I'm thinking of this? And they'll come up. And you'll feel them and then you just start to feel them. And what I like to do is journal through them. Cause I always tell people like, like life, life is complex. Like it's very complex. Like if I were to say, you know, what's three plus seven, most people are going to say 10. But if I say, what's 246 times 398? Most people are going to be like, I don't know. But if I said, hey, if I give you a pen and paper, do you think you could figure it out? Most people can go back to like fourth, fifth grade and start to do long, long, long multiplication.

• 1:11:24Lewis Howes?

  I could do the calculator.

• 1:11:25Rob Dial?

  I could see the fear coming out as soon as I said it.

• 1:11:27Lewis Howes?

  I'm an idiot. I'm dumb. I can't do this.

• 1:11:30Rob Dial?

  So it's like, I know, I saw, I saw it clicking in your head, like, but I don't know if I could do that. Right? But if I give most people a pen and paper and they started writing it out, they could start to go back and figure it out. Our life is a million times more complex than that math problem. There's thoughts, there's feelings, there's emotions, there's programs, there's patterns, there's things that we have to do. There's other people in our life. I always say for most people, like, just go to a pen and paper. Where is it that I want to be? Where, what do, one of the most important people, one of the most important questions people can ask themselves is, what do I want? And to get really clear on it, just write it out and journal that out. And then say, ask yourself another question. Are there any fears or limiting beliefs coming in the way of that? And you write out those fears and your limiting beliefs. And then go, like I said, try to play the other side for a second. Is there a chance that this fear is completely false?

• 1:12:16Rob Dial?

  And one of the things I found that works with people is, is to do something like, it's called pre-mortem in a business. Where you, when you start a business, plan the failure of the business and ask yourself how the business is going to fail. Right? I did this when I brought in my VP of Operations. She goes, before you do anything, I want to do a pre-mortem, which is, how does this business fail? And I was like, okay, this is cool. So we planned out how my business could fail. And then what we did is we had a game plan of everything that we need to make sure that we worked through, so we wouldn't fail. And so it's the exact same thing where it's like, where do I want to be? I figure it out. I figured out all my fears, my limiting beliefs. How could, and then what you do is you go, what's the worst that could happen if I take this path? What happens is, uh, there's a, a study that found that, uh, psychologists did that eighty-five percent of what we worry about never happens. At all.

• 1:13:00Rob Dial?

  The remaining fifteen percent, only twelve percent of it, I'm sorry, twelve percent of that doesn't happen as bad as you think it's going to. Which means the remaining three percent, three percent of what we worry about, happens as bad as we think that it's going to. So thirty-two out of thirty-three times, it doesn't happen as bad as you think that it's going to. And so let's just plan out the absolute worst that could happen if I decide to change my life and take it on a new path. And plan out the whole thing and say, what's the worst that could happen? Now, if I'm gonna ask myself that question, what's the next question I need to ask myself? What's the best thing that could happen? And then I say, is it worth it for me to go and try to make a change and try to create my life into what I want it to be? Usually you find your fears and the worst that could happen is not really that bad. And the best that could happen is like beyond what you could possibly conceive.

• 1:13:42Lewis Howes?

  Good stuff, man. I want to ask you one final question.

• 1:13:47Rob Dial?

  Okay.

• 1:13:48Lewis Howes?

  You know, in the previous interview we did, we talked about your three truths and your definition of greatness. So people will link that up. So people can go watch that. You've got the mindset mentor, which I want people to go check out, subscribe, follow, listen to four times a week now. Is that right? What are you doing?

• 1:14:02Rob Dial?

  Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

• 1:14:04Lewis Howes?

  Amazing content. I told a friend of mine that I was having you on today. He goes, man, I listen to his show almost every single day.

• 1:14:10Rob Dial?

  Really?

• 1:14:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, 20 minute episodes.

• 1:14:11Rob Dial?

  That's awesome.

• 1:14:12Lewis Howes?

  Great mindset inspiration.

• 1:14:13Rob Dial?

  What's his name?

• 1:14:15Lewis Howes?

  His name is Humble.

• 1:14:17Rob Dial?

  Humble?

• 1:14:18Lewis Howes?

  Humble the poet.

• 1:14:19Rob Dial?

  Humble the poet?

• 1:14:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:20Rob Dial?

  Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Humble? What's up, man?

• 1:14:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:14:23Rob Dial?

  I need to get a conversation with him.

• 1:14:24Lewis Howes?

  That's my morning conversation is like listening to your show.

• 1:14:26Rob Dial?

  That's awesome, man.

• 1:14:27Lewis Howes?

  So make sure you guys check out Rob's show, Mindset Mentor. He's a part of the Greatness Network now, first show within the Greatness Network. We're assembling the Avengers of inspiration. And Rob was the one we wanted first on the network. So you can check it out. Part of the Greatness Network.

• 1:14:43Rob Dial?

  Got to figure out what Avenger I am.

• 1:14:45Lewis Howes?

  The Avenger of mindset? I don't know. The Avenger of gratitude?

• 1:14:49Rob Dial?

  Yeah. We got time.

• 1:14:50Lewis Howes?

  Self-love, you know, all these things, abundance.

• 1:14:53Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:53Lewis Howes?

  But here's a question I want to ask you about. You're also all over social media, Rob Dial, everywhere on social media. What's your main platform right now? Is it Facebook? Is that where your biggest is?

• 1:15:02Rob Dial?

  My biggest is Facebook, but the one that I'm growing the most on and that seems to be doing the best is Instagram.

• 1:15:08Lewis Howes?

  Instagram.

• 1:15:09Rob Dial?

  Yeah, Instagram's going crazy. We're growing like 50,000 a month at this point.

• 1:15:13Lewis Howes?

  There you go, man. Keep it going. What is that strategy? Reels? Videos?

• 1:15:16Rob Dial?

  Reels, videos, just trying to put the best content out.

• 1:15:20Lewis Howes?

  That's right.

• 1:15:21Rob Dial?

  I'm, I sit down and I plan it. I mean, to make a 15, 30 second reel, I might spend 20 minutes scripting the entire thing.

• 1:15:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow, really?

• 1:15:28Rob Dial?

  Yeah. Spend a lot of time just trying to make.

• 1:15:29Lewis Howes?

  It's not just random, you're actually strategizing.

• 1:15:32Rob Dial?

  Strategizing, 100%.

• 1:15:33Lewis Howes?

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:15:33Rob Dial?

  Yeah, there's a whole lot of strategy it puts in these little things, you know?

• 1:15:36Lewis Howes?

  It's great, man.

• 1:15:36Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:37Lewis Howes?

  It's great. Okay. Check them out everywhere. This question I ask you is, well, actually first, before I ask you this, if you guys are enjoying this and feel free to leave a comment below. If you're on YouTube, leave a comment below, subscribe and share your biggest takeaway from this episode with Rob. What was the thing that stuck out with you the most? Leave that below. You can also timestamp that in the comments so other people can see what you enjoyed the most. So share that below. We'll have Rob's channel linked up as well. My question for you is this, if you could. Step into the future 10 years. You know, you're 38.

• 1:16:12Rob Dial?

  Yep, about to be next month.

• 1:16:13Lewis Howes?

  There's gonna be a lot of changes and transformations that happen in the next couple of years, but also over a decade. You know, if you think back almost 10 years ago, right before you launched this show.

• 1:16:24Rob Dial?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:24Lewis Howes?

  You were a completely different person.

• 1:16:25Rob Dial?

  For sure.

• 1:16:26Lewis Howes?

  And if you could step into the future and think 10 years out.

• 1:16:31Lewis Howes?

  And you're there right now. You're 48. Imagine your life. Everything you've created, failures you've overcome. The life you've lived, all these different things. And if you could give your current self one piece of advice from that future self. 10 years out. What is it that you need to hear? From the future you, right now?

• 1:16:54Rob Dial?

  48 year old Rob, what he would say to 38. He would say.

• 1:17:01Rob Dial?

  Make more space for yourself. Make more space for your family. Focus on loving yourself, focus on loving your family. I think if I do that. I think the next 10 years are just gonna be amazing for me. I think, I think just, I think when you just come from that state, just it. Flows out of you, inspiration, creativity, which I think is our natural state. I mean, I've never met a non-creative child. You know, I think it's kind of programmed out of us. I think that when you come from that state of. Hey, no matter what happens, I love myself and no matter what happens, I'm loved by the people around me. Then I have no fear of going out and failing because I've already won.

• 1:17:37Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:17:38Rob Dial?

  Really, there's a, there's a line of a, um. There's a line of a guy that I listened to that, uh, his name's, he used to be, uh, lead singer of, uh, surfaces. And he's, his name, uh, is, uh, Forrest Frank, and he's got this line. And it says, I just turned a milli down to be home with my son. Y'all don't get it. I can't gain a thing if I've already won.

• 1:17:58Lewis Howes?

  Ooh, strong.

• 1:18:00Rob Dial?

  He's like 27 years old and I was like, this dude's got it. And I think if I just have that viewpoint of like, I've already won. Like what, why don't I just enjoy the fruits of it? Not saying that I'm gonna sit back and do nothing. I don't have that built inside of me. But it's like, I've already won. Like, why don't I just have fun with it?

• 1:18:16Lewis Howes?

  That's great, man. Rob, I'm in. Thanks, buddy. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And

• 1:19:01Lewis Howes?

  now it's time to go out there and do something great.