Rupi Kaur: “I Struggled With Self-Worth” - How To HEAL Your Mind & Open Your Heart To Love

I'm thrilled to bring you this inspiring conversation with the incredible Rupi Kaur, celebrating the 10th anniversary of her groundbreaking book "Milk and Honey". In our chat, Rupi opens up about her remarkable journey of self-discovery and finding her voice as an artist. It's fascinating to hear how she's overcome self-doubt and grown in confidence over the years, despite achieving massive success at such a young age. We dive deep into discussions about creativity, spirituality, and relationships, exploring how these themes have evolved in Rupi's life and work. Her insights on the power of vulnerability in art and the healing nature of poetry are truly profound. Rupi's reflections on how her perspective has changed over the past decade offer valuable wisdom for anyone on a path of self-improvement. Whether you're a long-time fan of Rupi's work or new to her poetry, I know you'll find this intimate discussion both enlightening and inspiring. Get a copy of the Milk and Honey 10th Anniversary Collector’s EditionIn this episode you will learnHow Rupi's self-confidence and self-worth improved dramatically over the past decade, despite her massive success early onThe importance of creating art from a place of joy and presence, rather than solely from pain or sadnessWhy Rupi believes poetry and creativity can be powerful tools for connecting with oneself and healingInsights into Rupi's writing process and how she overcame writer's block and self-judgmentRupi's thoughts on relationships, freedom within partnerships, and her upcoming book exploring adult relationshipsFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1678For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Dr. Rahul Jandial – https://link.chtbl.com/1249-podBrene Brown – https://link.chtbl.com/1420-podRachel Platten – https://link.chtbl.com/1663-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Rupi Kaur?

  Because for me, poetry is a form of spirituality. It was never a job or a career.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Did you feel like you were prepared for the pressure or the success that came to you so early?

• 0:11Rupi Kaur?

  Absolutely not.

• 0:12Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 0:13Rupi Kaur?

  No, not at all. And I sold millions of books, but I had so much imposter syndrome.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  Rupi Kaur might just be the most famous poet on the planet. Rupi Kaur!

• 0:24Rupi Kaur?

  Literally named writer of the decade. My very talented friend, Rupi Kaur!

• 0:30Lewis Howes?

  What do you feel like was the biggest pain you experienced growing up that have taken you the longest to heal?

• 0:36Rupi Kaur?

  Believing that I am somebody who has value and is worthy of being seen and heard. And those experiences that were violent really left me feeling silent and invisible. Performing these pieces on stage was healing in a way I didn't expect it to be. In those moments, I was able to exhale because we were exhaling together. It was like, I'm not alone. These experiences, as you know, you feel so isolated and alone, and it feels like it's only happened to you.

• 1:04Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna ask you to read one poem.

• 1:06Rupi Kaur?

  Okay.

• 1:07Lewis Howes?

  My intention before you open it up is to read the poem that you think will give your younger self the most peace and freedom.

• 1:14Rupi Kaur?

  Okay, I know which one to read. It's actually one of the new ones.

• 1:18Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Rupi Kaur in the house. So good to see you.

• 1:25Rupi Kaur?

  So good to be here.

• 1:26Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back. It's been seven years since you're on the show, and 10 years since Milk and Honey came out, which is really cool. And I love this kind of collector's edition and 10-year anniversary of this.

• 1:39Lewis Howes?

  And I met you kind of right before everything really started to take off. Like, it was taking off, but it exploded after that. And you were on tour for years, and it's just been like three New York Times bestsellers at the same time. It was just like crazy town.

• 1:53Rupi Kaur?

  Crazy town.

• 1:54Lewis Howes?

  It was amazing. And I was always just like applauding and clapping every time I see like another week on the list. And just like, all the things that you were doing were so inspiring. So, congrats. The work that you've done has impacted millions of people around the world in a profound emotional, spiritual, and physical healing type of way.

• 2:15Lewis Howes?

  You know, the women on my team love your work and so many people feel it speaks to them. It resonates with them, the messages, the content and how you share your poetry. And I'm curious, we just, you know, we're talking off camera. If you could go back 10 years ago and speak to young Rupee.

• 2:34Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 2:35Lewis Howes?

  Right before, and you have some like messages in here, like a week before you published, a month before, like seven months before, if you could go back right before you published, knowing everything that's happened in your life the last 10 years. From the ups and downs, the success, the challenges, the heartbreaks, all the different things. What would you share with her about what's to come in the next decade?

• 2:58Rupi Kaur?

  I wouldn't share too much because I feel like if she knew, she might not even self-publish that original edition 10 years ago. I still, you know, it's been 10 years and I have to say, for me, everything that's happened is still quite unbelievable.

• 3:19Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 3:19Rupi Kaur?

  I haven't processed it. And I would tell her that, I'd be like, you have absolutely no clue what's about to happen, but please, through the hardest moments, just believe that you'll be okay.

• 3:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 3:35Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 3:35Lewis Howes?

  What would you say are the three biggest lessons you've learned in the last decade? About all of it, everything in your life, the success of the work, relationships, friends, family, just everything.

• 3:47Rupi Kaur?

  I would say, one of the biggest lessons is, one that comes up for me is, I felt like over the last 10 years, there were many moments where I felt like I had to do everything in like a short amount of time. I was like in my twenties, I was like, everything has to happen now. And then I realized, hold on, I have the rest of my life ahead of me. And so I can take my time. That was one lesson that I can take my time. And the other one was stop to celebrate the wins. That's something that I never did.

• 4:27Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:28Rupi Kaur?

  You know, whether it was getting on the New York Times Bestseller list the first time, staying on that list for four years.

• 4:34Lewis Howes?

  Crazy.

• 4:35Rupi Kaur?

  It was just so go, go, go that I didn't really take a moment to be like, wow, that's amazing. Instead, my mindset was very much like, okay, cool. Now what? And I feel like that that was a disservice to me. And so that's something that I'm working on now, moving forward, moving at a slower pace.

• 4:57Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:58Rupi Kaur?

  And really trying to be present.

• 5:01Lewis Howes?

  Because you were, I mean, your Instagram, you were putting out content almost daily, it felt like for a while, like poetry back in the day, or maybe seventy years ago.

• 5:09Rupi Kaur?

  Sharing like, like, I would say, yeah, around the time of Milk and Honey in the Summer of the Hours, I was probably sharing like, yeah, two new pieces a week. And I was kind of, yeah, I was all over the place. And so I was like, here's this, and here's that, and here's this. And I think like, during the Milk and Honey era, it was seamless. It didn't feel like work.

• 5:33Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 5:33Rupi Kaur?

  Because I was, I just fell in love with the craft so much. And I fell in love with it because I was performing on stage. I first started performing in two thousand and nine. And being up there just made me feel so alive. And

• 5:50Rupi Kaur?

  I was just so taken, like, I was so swept off my feet by this craft, because for the first time, it felt like I was stepping into my voice. I didn't have that as a young girl. I wasn't necessarily.

• 6:04Rupi Kaur?

  Living in an environment where my voice was celebrated or valued. And so through poetry, I was finding that. And it was just so incredible feeling like, you know, sitting at my desk and writing, writing, writing until I found the right words. And so the milk and honey era, it just like sort of, everything felt easy. It was just sort of flowing. And I think it was because I was extremely present. Uh, I was writing from a place of non judgment. And I wasn't focused on any outcome or results because I had nothing to compare it to. Yeah. I just was like, this is so fun. Like it, when I would write a poem that I really liked and it made my stomach turn,

• 6:49Rupi Kaur?

  it was euphoric. Uh, and so the book was really just a byproduct of this other purpose. I feel like I had, which was finding those right words that made my stomach turn. Then using those words to connect with people and share with people.

• 7:04Lewis Howes?

  But you were 21 at the time, right?

• 7:07Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, I was 21 when I, um, finished the manuscript and decided, okay, I'm going to put it out.

• 7:12Lewis Howes?

  That's so young for, you know, to think about writing a book at 21. Most people don't think that way.

• 7:16Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 7:16Lewis Howes?

  And also self publishing back then, it's kind of clunky and hard. Like, how did you even have the courage to say, I want to write the most vulnerable stuff ever?

• 7:25Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 7:25Lewis Howes?

  And reveal myself at 21. I'm going to try to figure out the self publishing world and get this message out to people. When everyone could criticize everything I put out there.

• 7:35Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 7:35Lewis Howes?

  How did you have that courage to put out that type of work?

• 7:39Rupi Kaur?

  I, so when I started performing in 2009, a lot of the pieces I was performing about in person were about these topics that were taboo, whether it was sexual assault, domestic violence. And the people who were coming to watch me perform, it was such a supportive group. Everyone was very progressive and radical. It was a group of like young activists.

• 8:02Lewis Howes?

  Cheering for you.

• 8:03Rupi Kaur?

  Cheering for me. Yeah. And so, and then they were like, you know, you should share this work online. You can really connect with like the diaspora around the world. Cause my original audience was like my community, Benjubby six. And so because of them, I started sharing my work on Tumblr. And Tumblr was also like a very radical progressive space. So everybody was like, wow, this is so cool. And they, my readers online were the ones that planted the seed of publishing. Really? So I wasn't even thinking about it. They were like, they would send me messages being like, I love this poem. What book is it from? Where can I get your book? And I would laugh. There is no book. Yeah, I was like, this is ridiculous that you think there's a book. I'm, I was in university.

• 8:46Rupi Kaur?

  I'm like, still haven't finished my undergrad, like, there's no book. But once they planted that seed, I was like, could there be one? Like, should there be one? And that's when I started thinking about putting one together. I approached a creative writing professor at the school I was at, and I asked her, I was like, I have a book of poetry. Like, by the time I decided that I was going to publish the book, the book was done being written. It was finished. I mean, I had hundreds of poems. It was a matter of putting them together and deciding what was going to make it into the final manuscript. And my professor looked at me and was like, poetry? Nobody publishes that. Let's just be honest. There's no market

• 9:26Rupi Kaur?

  for it. And she gave me some advice that I think like, made sense from her perspective. Because she was right. It was and is really difficult as a young poet to get published. And she was like, you should submit your pieces to anthologies, journals, literary magazines, that sort of thing. And I was like, okay, cool. And she told me to order this book that, you know, gave you the addresses of all the places you could submit. I started submitting and very quickly I was like, this isn't going to work for me because I am submitting these individual pieces to these outlets that don't necessarily embody any of the topics

• 10:08Rupi Kaur?

  that I'm writing about. And I felt like I was doing a disservice to my work because Milk and Honey, although it's about 200 poems, from cover to cover, it also for me feels like one continuous poem. So the, this idea of taking these pieces apart and throwing them around and hoping they'll land, I was like, well, of course, it's not going to work. That's not how it needs to be done. This is how it needs to be done. And so I asked her, that same professor, I was like, well, what do you think about self-publishing? And she said,

• 10:46Rupi Kaur?

  Absolutely not.

• 10:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 10:47Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah. She was like, nobody in the industry will respect you because

• 10:54Rupi Kaur?

  yeah, you've bypassed the gatekeeper. So that's not a good idea. And then I remember thinking,

• 11:01Rupi Kaur?

  I don't even,

• 11:05Rupi Kaur?

  who is this industry? I'm so far removed from like these gatekeepers. Like, I grew up in Brampton, Malton, cities that are majority, you know, people of color, working class immigrants, everybody I knew, you know, drove a truck, worked at a factory or a labor job. I had no even like access point to this like industry of publishing and literature, but what I had was a community on Tumblr and Instagram of young people, young women who felt so seen by these words. I felt so seen by the words and all I wanted

• 11:45Rupi Kaur?

  was to like share with them. And so for me, self-publishing just made sense. And then I ended up, yeah, I ended up putting it out there in 2014. I was still in school. I thought that, you know, hopefully, I don't know, a hundred, 200 people would buy it. I had my LSAT prep books. I was gonna go be a lawyer. And then it all just happened, I guess.

• 12:08Lewis Howes?

  How, how quickly did it, did it happen for you where you were like, oh, this is more than a few hundred copies sold by like some friends and family?

• 12:16Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 12:16Lewis Howes?

  This is like, they keep selling every week. What, what was that like?

• 12:20Rupi Kaur?

  Initially, I didn't, I didn't have an understanding about what were good book numbers. So the self-published edition came out in November 2014 and by April 2015, I believe I'd hand sold or online on my website, sold about Eighteen thousand copies.

• 12:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's really good.

• 12:40Rupi Kaur?

  Which I didn't think was good.

• 12:42Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 12:42Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, because the only numbers I knew were like music numbers and album sales, which you know, it'd be like so and so went platinum.

• 12:49Lewis Howes?

  Multi-platinum, millions, yeah, yeah.

• 12:51Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, and I was like nineteen thousand, oh my god. I should go be a lawyer because like this whole thing is not working for me. And also, at that point, I wasn't thinking this is gonna be my career. It was my hobby, my passion, and I was like, wow, I'm just lucky to like, you know, connect and like, I gotta graduate and like go do the next thing. Uh, but then in April twenty fifteen, I published a photo online of a young woman on her period, it's in that book. And that really also brought a lot of people in to my work. I was really into photography and um, yep, that's the one. And in a way, that book picture changed my life.

• 13:31Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 13:32Rupi Kaur?

  It brought, I mean, it was such a viral moment that hundreds and thousands of people found my work. And I was scared because I was like, oh no, do these people think that this is what I do? Like, I'm not just gonna take photos of myself on my period, although I love this series, you know? But like, I write poems and luckily they stayed for the poetry.

• 13:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 13:54Rupi Kaur?

  So I was very happy about that. And then a publisher came along and they were like, we wanna publish the book. And, you know, we went back and forth. Eventually, uh, I ended up signing a deal with Andrews McMill publishing. And our addition with them came out the fall of twenty fifteen. And at that point, still, it was like very slow burn. Um, I graduated in twenty fifteen. I went off to India to take a few months off. We didn't do any media, any press for the book. I just sort of, I went offline. Because at this point, I was posting and sharing stuff online since like twenty twelve and I was tired. So I was like, peace, the book is out, my job here is done.

• 14:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:36Rupi Kaur?

  And I told the publisher, I was like, you know, I also perform, right? Like, I think that's my superpower. I love being on stage and it's where I connect with people. And they were initially confused because they'd not seen that before. And so I kept pushing for them to book me live events. And so they agreed to do one in San Francisco in twenty sixteen.

• 14:58Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 14:58Rupi Kaur?

  So now we're in like, yeah.

• 15:00Lewis Howes?

  A year and a half, a year after the book came out originally, right?

• 15:04Rupi Kaur?

  Uh, a year and a half after, yeah. And so I, that's when I realized things were changing because we were driving up to that event and I was in the passenger seat of the car and I remember looking to my right and I saw this lineup of people and I was like, wait a minute.

• 15:22Lewis Howes?

  Those are for me?

• 15:23Rupi Kaur?

  I thought that and then I was like, wow, you're so cocky, relax. How could you even think that's for you? And then I looked at the map and I was like, see, it's not for me because the bookstore is blocks away. And so I was like, okay, we're good. So anyways, we're at a red light. These two pedestrians are walking by, they look in the car, they're waving to me and they have this like look on their face, like they know me. And so I just assumed that they thought that I was like somebody, somebody that they knew. And so I didn't want to leave them hanging. So I just like waved back and anyways, we, light turns green, we keep driving. I look over and that lineup of people isn't ending and it keeps going and going and going

• 16:06Rupi Kaur?

  until we arrive at the bookstore and I just freeze and I was like, oh no, what, what, what's happening? And I remember my friend dropped me off. I go in and the woman working at the bookstore is red in the face, is freaking out and she's like, I don't know what we're gonna do.

• 16:24Lewis Howes?

  Cause you don't have enough books.

• 16:25Rupi Kaur?

  There's not enough books and she's like, there is a line of people cutting through the neighborhood, like this has never happened before. And I remember I held her and I was like, it's okay. I was like, I'm gonna do two shows and I'm gonna do two signings and I'm not gonna leave until every book is signed, like we'll be fine. And then she like exhaled and like, that's what we did. And that's after that moment, it never slowed down.

• 16:48Lewis Howes?

  It didn't slow down at all.

• 16:49Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, so I would say a year and a half after is when like things sort of like began to kind of get wild and crazy and it was all word of mouth.

• 16:57Lewis Howes?

  That's.

• 16:57Rupi Kaur?

  Cause no press, I wasn't posting on socials, but it was women sharing this book with other women, mothers, daughters, sisters to friends. And it's a book that I wrote, but I truly feel like, honestly, I don't, it doesn't even.

• 17:19Rupi Kaur?

  Like belong to me anymore?

• 17:21Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:21Rupi Kaur?

  Cause there's so many people who've touched it along the way. It's our book and that's why in the new edition, I've invited other women to annotate and share their reflections as well, because it didn't feel right for the 10 year edition, just to have my reflections.

• 17:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. This is fascinating. How did you, so you're like 23, 24 around this time, right? Roughly. Did you feel like you were prepared for the pressure or the success or the fame or the audiences that came to you so early?

• 17:50Rupi Kaur?

  Absolutely not.

• 17:51Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:52Rupi Kaur?

  No, not at all. Cause at that point, I still wouldn't refuse to call myself an author. It wasn't until book three that I accepted that I was an author.

• 18:02Lewis Howes?

  But you're a multiple New York Times bestseller at that point.

• 18:04Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, and I'd sold millions of books, but I had so much imposter syndrome.

• 18:09Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 18:09Rupi Kaur?

  So much, because in my mind, I was like, this is weird. This is a book that I made in my living room while in college, living with my best friends, like cutting up the poems and putting them in order on the floor and being like, let me make the book cover and, you know, design this and do that. I was doing all the marketing materials, sort of like, you know, my friends were artists in their own right, photographers, singers. You know, my friend who's a singer was like, we should like record a book trailer for you. I know a girl and the girl would come with a video camera. And then the singer would be like, I'm gonna take this poem, I'm gonna sing it and that's gonna be the musical track behind it. Like, it was a community effort. And so it just felt like such a homemade project,

• 18:51Rupi Kaur?

  that it was confusing then to see it out there in the world and be received in this big way.

• 18:57Lewis Howes?

  You thought it was like a little arts and crafts type of thing?

• 18:59Rupi Kaur?

  Totally.

• 18:59Lewis Howes?

  Hobby and like, I was gonna put together a scrapbook and put it out for a few people.

• 19:03Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 19:04Lewis Howes?

  And millions of people later. Did it ever, when did it start to feel like work and less like fun hobby art?

• 19:12Rupi Kaur?

  Book two.

• 19:12Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 19:13Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 19:14Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 19:15Rupi Kaur?

  I began to write book two, well, I was kind of already writing it, but I began to like mindfully write it.

• 19:24Rupi Kaur?

  So the fall of 2016, I signed my book two contract. And I feel the moment I signed that contract, the pressure just sort of set in and it was like. That's what things got challenged.

• 19:38Lewis Howes?

  Cause there was like real money behind it too. There was a big advance. There was like more pressure. There was excitement around it, right?

• 19:44Rupi Kaur?

  And there was, and there was something to measure up to. It was like if now Milk and Honey had sort of set a bar. And I, it's not that anybody else said anything to me. I felt that if the follow-up didn't do as well, then I didn't deserve to be here.

• 20:05Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 20:05Rupi Kaur?

  And that, yeah, exactly that. I didn't deserve to be here. And so, and I had no idea how I even did it the first time. So how was I gonna do it again?

• 20:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:15Rupi Kaur?

  So that was really the challenge for me. And so as great of an experience as it was to write Milk and Honey, The Sun and Her Flowers, my second book, was that challenging.

• 20:25Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 20:26Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah. But I'm so glad that, you know, I, I think at the time, it was so challenging and painful. But in hindsight, I'm so glad that I had the deadline and the pressure because I think if I didn't have the deadline and the pressure, who knows if I'd ever

• 20:40Lewis Howes?

  Finish it.

• 20:40Rupi Kaur?

  Finish it. Yeah, exactly.

• 20:43Lewis Howes?

  Now, the thing that is interesting to me is, is you have this community of, you know, friends, women, or whatever it is when you're nineteen, twenty, and you're doing your, um, you know, live poetry at these small little events, right, in Canada?

• 20:56Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 20:57Lewis Howes?

  Um, and a lot of support, cheering you on and celebrating you when you're being vulnerable, right? Sharing kind of these intimate stories from childhood or past or breakups and family dynamics and traumas that you experienced. But then when it gets out there to millions of people online, is everyone so supportive about the types of content you're sharing around vulnerabilities, traumas, past pains, hurts? Was everyone as supportive or was there more hate and pushback?

• 21:26Rupi Kaur?

  I would say that in terms of the topics I was covering and the themes, everyone was supportive. And the people that weren't actually have never read my work. And they're kind of just like, What is going on? Like she isn't, you know, whatever people do say. But I've never felt any pushback from the topics I cover, other than, of course, Milk and Honey being one of the most banned books in America because of the themes that I'm covering. Sexual assault and trauma, which is unfortunate. I mean, so many young people have told me that

• 22:07Rupi Kaur?

  they too realized they were being sexually assaulted when they read Milk and Honey. And now this book is banned across so many schools and states in America. So that's kind of the only place where I feel like there's been pushback around themes. But other than that, I feel like thankfully, it's always been received.

• 22:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow. How did you feel about putting this stuff out there, though? What is such vulnerable things that you've experienced? You know, 11 years ago, I opened up about being sexually abused as a young boy for the first time. For 25 years, I held on to it. And it was like a poison that was inside of my veins daily. And it was causing me to react and respond in poor ways a lot of the time when I felt triggered. Because it was almost like if I ever felt under attack, whether it was true or not, if I felt it, it felt like I was being abused.

• 23:01Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 23:02Lewis Howes?

  And I didn't want to go back to that place.

• 23:03Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 23:03Lewis Howes?

  And that was very, and then it would remind me of the anger that I felt from being sexually abused as a boy.

• 23:09Rupi Kaur?

  Oof, yeah.

• 23:10Lewis Howes?

  Every time that would happen, even if it was just like, nothing was really happening. But if I psychologically felt like I was being sexually abused. So for many years, I would try to be successful, try to get bigger, faster, stronger to defend myself.

• 23:22Rupi Kaur?

  Right. Yes.

• 23:23Lewis Howes?

  And I lacked the emotional intelligence to communicate effectively and create boundaries.

• 23:28Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 23:29Lewis Howes?

  But 11 years ago, when I opened up about it, I was terrified to share this story.

• 23:37Lewis Howes?

  But I knew that I needed to do it. I needed to let it out. And for whatever reason, I had a platform at that time that I felt called like a responsibility to share my platform. Even though I thought, speaking up about this, I'm gonna lose everything. That's what I thought. I thought, everyone's gonna unfollow me. I'm gonna have no business. My life is over.

• 23:54Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, I can relate.

• 23:55Lewis Howes?

  But at least I'll be free.

• 23:56Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 23:56Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean? And at least people actually know who I am. Or what I've been through. And they can either accept it or not. And it was terrifying to talk about it. How did you get the courage to talk about a lot of these traumas that you'd experienced?

• 24:11Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 24:12Lewis Howes?

  And also not let it re-trigger you?

• 24:16Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 24:17Lewis Howes?

  And I know you talk about, you know, there's a poem here, you're talking about being in therapy.

• 24:20Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 24:21Lewis Howes?

  Uh, and where you just kind of rattle off all the traumas essentially.

• 24:24Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 24:25Lewis Howes?

  That you've had, just kind of like a grocery list.

• 24:26Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 24:27Lewis Howes?

  And I can, I can relate to that too, because you talk about it so much that you get to a point where, okay, I'm processing it. But how did you learn how to not let these things trigger you by putting them out there? And just continue to have the courage to share these things?

• 24:44Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah. It started first sharing with the women in my, girls in my life. I was in middle school, talking about it with the girls around me.

• 24:53Rupi Kaur?

  And then it went to like onstage events where I felt safe. And I think the fact that I've shared it with millions of, if I had known that these many people would have had access to it, I don't think I would have done it.

• 25:06Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:06Rupi Kaur?

  So that was an accident, but also for me, for some reason, performing these pieces onstage was healing in a way I didn't expect it to be. But like you, I also experienced, like when Milk and Honey came out, it felt like I like let go of all this weight I was holding on to. It just sort of like left my body.

• 25:32Rupi Kaur?

  Of course it didn't. It's something that continues to live inside of you, but at least I wasn't holding on to it on my own anymore. And then when I'm performing it, and I'm in community with my audiences and they're...

• 25:46Rupi Kaur?

  Connecting with it, I feel like in those moments I was able to exhale because we were exhaling together.

• 25:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:54Rupi Kaur?

  And it was like, oh, I'm not alone. Like, because these experiences, as you know, you feel so isolated and alone. And it feels like it's only happened to you.

• 26:03Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 26:03Rupi Kaur?

  And then when you're sharing it, you're looking around and so many people have gone through it. So for some reason, knock on wood, it's been quite a healing experience for me to like be on stage and connecting with people through it. And again, though, I think that throughout the years, finding the language to like recognize triggers and set boundaries in my personal life to sort of take care of myself has been like a learning journey as well. Yeah.

• 26:32Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:32Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 26:33Lewis Howes?

  What do you feel like was the biggest pain or pains you experienced growing up? That have taken you the longest to heal?

• 26:40Rupi Kaur?

  I would say

• 26:47Rupi Kaur?

  believing that I am somebody who has value and is worthy of being seen and heard.

• 26:54Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:54Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah. That's probably been like the most hardest sort of thing to like work through.

• 27:02Lewis Howes?

  What created that belief in you?

• 27:04Rupi Kaur?

  I think just I was

• 27:08Lewis Howes?

  Was there a number of instances or moments or was it just an overall tone and like kind of family dynamics? Or was there like a few things that really triggered you?

• 27:17Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, I would say it was a mix of family dynamics. You know, I cover some of the experiences that have happened to me in chapter one of the book and those experiences that were violent really left me feeling silent and invisible. And so it's taken a lot of work and I'm not even done doing the work to you know, be like, I am worthy of being listened to. I do have value. And that's like something that I'm only, you know, I'm really actually embodying like confidence and

• 27:56Rupi Kaur?

  Celebrating myself in just the last few years.

• 27:59Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 28:00Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 28:00Lewis Howes?

  So, did you feel like you had confidence after the first couple of books came out?

• 28:04Rupi Kaur?

  My confidence probably got worse.

• 28:06Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 28:06Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 28:07Lewis Howes?

  Your number one New York Times bestseller, you're on the list for four years. You're making millions of dollars, you're selling out arenas.

• 28:13Rupi Kaur?

  Did nothing.

• 28:14Lewis Howes?

  How did it do nothing?

• 28:15Rupi Kaur?

  I don't know, I just feel like, uh, I don't know, I wish it was different.

• 28:23Rupi Kaur?

  I just was like, I can't, I didn't allow myself to really, my philosophy was if I don't let these words, these amazing things people say about me, if I don't let those in, then I won't let all the negative things in either. I just have to stay grounded and like focus because that's just kinda how I have to like work through it. And also it's because things are moving so fast, there wasn't a moment to pause and be like, wow, this is really unique and cool what's happening. It doesn't happen very often. But now, looking back, now my life is moving at a, I feel more in control of it. And now I'm able to be like,

• 29:04Rupi Kaur?

  wow, I am doing good. And I can celebrate that.

• 29:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 29:10Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 29:11Lewis Howes?

  So, on us, let's, let's do a hypothetical scale. On a scale from one to 10, when, you know, Milk and Honey or the next book is on the New York Times Bestseller list for months in a row, on a scale of one to 10, 10 being like the most confident and feeling the most valued and loved, whether self-love or loved by others, one being like I have zero confidence, zero self-love and self-respect, I don't believe at all. Where were you on that scale most of the time?

• 29:40Rupi Kaur?

  For, during that?

• 29:42Lewis Howes?

  Kind of this whole run, you had like this few years, like book one and two being out and being so successful, where were you on that scale of like, I have confidence and self-love for myself?

• 29:52Rupi Kaur?

  I would say that I was on the lower end, but...

• 29:55Lewis Howes?

  Like two, three, four, like?

• 29:57Rupi Kaur?

  Um, I would say like, yeah, two, three, four.

• 30:00Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 30:00Rupi Kaur?

  But, I would say now I'm at like, an eight, nine, 10.

• 30:05Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's good.

• 30:06Rupi Kaur?

  So, I, and you know, I think that goes to show that...

• 30:10Rupi Kaur?

  Numbers and metrics are not what give bring confidence. I mean, yeah, I could like go online and you know, see, okay, this week it's at number one. It's just pixels on a screen to me. All the nice comments that people leave, all the things, it's just like, it doesn't actually feel like it's impacting your like real world and the things that you're going through with your family and your friends and your relationships. And so I think because I wasn't prioritizing my personal life in the same ways that I used to. Um, and doing things that brought me joy, which was really just

• 30:49Rupi Kaur?

  connecting with people, the people in my life, you know, I was like on the road all of the time. And so it went from, it took me a few years to find the right balance. And you know, I think I beat myself up for feeling like a two, three, four, but in hindsight, I'm so glad that I have had those experiences because I think that's also inevitable. Like the journey is always kind of like this. And now I've learned lessons from that and those lessons are what have now brought me to a eight, nine, 10.

• 31:21Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 31:21Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 31:22Lewis Howes?

  I think this is really important for whoever's listening, specifically women listening who maybe don't feel valued or confident or feel like kind of their own poster for whatever reason. I think this is a really important thing and I want to ask you another question about it. When did you start to feel like you were able to transition from a two, three, four to eight, nine, 10 in self-confidence, self-love category?

• 31:45Rupi Kaur?

  I would say around, I mean, there were different moments. I feel like my third book, Home Body, was like a much better writing experience. It's where I began to trust my voice a little bit more. It's where I began to find a process of writing that, you know, was sort of working for me. And then when I hit the road in 2022, for a year, I hit the road to do a world tour. That really, you know, sort of awakened a confidence in me. Cause we did like 68 shows across five continents and you're on stage like every other night, you know, in front of thousands of people and sharing, when I'm on stage,

• 32:29Rupi Kaur?

  it like even when I was a two, three, four.

• 32:35Rupi Kaur?

  As a two, three, four offstage, I could walk onstage and feel like a ten.

• 32:38Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 32:38Rupi Kaur?

  The stage just had this power and has this power to sort of transform me. I feel like I see the stage as a sort of like living, breathing organism that sort of can take a person and make them larger than life. And so being on that world tour after COVID, reconnecting with people from around the world, really allowed me to exhale and realize, okay, the hard moments are worth it because what I love and what my purpose is, is not necessarily to sell millions of books and be a number one New York Times bestseller. That clearly didn't work or stick with me, you know?

• 33:17Rupi Kaur?

  My purpose has always been, I feel like, to connect and share with people. It's why I started to do what I do. And so being onstage on that tour, connecting and sharing and, you know, during my shows, a lot of people don't realize, there is like so much feedback back and forth. There's constant banter, the audience is yelling and shouting things out. And so that really helped me realize, okay,

• 33:41Rupi Kaur?

  I am saying something that is worth listening to.

• 33:44Lewis Howes?

  Wow. How do you make your world your stage?

• 33:47Rupi Kaur?

  That's what I'm trying to do now.

• 33:49Lewis Howes?

  So it's not just when you're onstage, but it's day to day moments?

• 33:53Rupi Kaur?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 33:54Lewis Howes?

  I mean, what advice would you give to women then who maybe feel like they're a two, three, four in confidence or deserving of their value of self-love? And maybe they're trying to people please, maybe they're trying to be a workaholic to prove something and they're trying to create more results, but it's not fulfilling the desire of I'm valued, I'm loved, I'm worthy.

• 34:17Rupi Kaur?

  Exactly.

• 34:18Lewis Howes?

  What advice would you give to women struggling with that?

• 34:21Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 34:21Lewis Howes?

  And how can they shift to start to feel that they are loved and deserving to be very worthy?

• 34:29Rupi Kaur?

  I remember when I was writing my third book, Homebody, I was beating myself up so much. And then at a certain point, I got annoyed of myself beating myself up. And I just sat there and I was like, okay, so like, what am I getting out of hating myself?

• 34:46Rupi Kaur?

  I'm hating myself as if if I hate hard enough, something's gonna change and everything's just gonna get better and it clearly isn't. So I can keep on doing it or I can find another way to live my life. And for me, it was just like, I just was one day that blunt with myself. And I was like, enough of this now. I need to find another way.

• 35:09Rupi Kaur?

  And then I think what it went back to was just like connecting and writing about the things that felt most honest to me and writing the things that made me feel alive. Like when I'm creating is when I'm most connected to myself. When I'm not creating is when my confidence starts to go down to like a, you know, two, three, four, five, six. But in those moments of creating and when I'm in complete flow and I'm in my purpose, naturally, I feel like the confidence is just sort of like, it sort of bubbles up. And so maybe like finding the thing that brings you to that flow state.

• 35:45Lewis Howes?

  But you were doing that for years in your early twenties, right? You were creating and you're making stuff happen, but you were like, I'm still not valued or deserving of love.

• 35:53Rupi Kaur?

  Before Milk and Honey, I felt like the confidence was definitely there. Like, I would say that I was just so connected with myself because the creating felt so magical.

• 36:09Rupi Kaur?

  It was actually when the, when I did self-publish and all of the pressure came is when I sort of lost that because I would wake up and be like, maybe like, that's all I have in me. Maybe I'm never gonna write anything worth reading again. And, you know, I remember speaking to other women, other authors and people, and I realized, everybody goes through that. And it's just a matter of not giving up and just getting through and learning also to not personalize every emotion I felt. That was a big one because, you know, I would feel like everybody feels waves of anxiety or self-dead or, you know, any type of emotion. I would personalize it so much. And so I had to like really learn to be like, okay,

• 36:52Rupi Kaur?

  this is an emotion that's moving through me. It is not the truth. I'm just gonna sit here, I'm not gonna react, I'm gonna let it pass. And that was like also really helpful. And so the journey has kind of been like all over the place. And you know, I always say that I feel like I'm the woman of my dreams when I'm on stage. And I've really separated these two women, the woman I'm on stage and the other woman who's like kind of sitting in front of you right now, who's not on stage. And I always say this woman, the woman on stage, she's just so confident and she just believes in herself and the things that she says. But when I'm off stage is when like the doubt comes in and la la la la la.

• 37:32Rupi Kaur?

  And so the goal for me, or what I've been working on in this past year is bringing these two women together. Because there's no reason that this woman on stage can't be the everyday.

• 37:44Lewis Howes?

  That's poetry right there.

• 37:45Rupi Kaur?

  That's what I'm trying to do.

• 37:46Lewis Howes?

  I like it. I'm interacting with your poetry right now. I like this. No, because I think, I mean, and most people don't even have a stage where they can like step into being like an alter ego confident person almost also. They don't have that, right? And they're just always anxious.

• 38:01Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 38:02Lewis Howes?

  And it's, it's, they're never feeling enough. Do you have an alter ego when you're on stage?

• 38:08Rupi Kaur?

  I don't think it's my alter ego.

• 38:10Lewis Howes?

  What is it?

• 38:10Rupi Kaur?

  I think it's just my biggest brightest self.

• 38:12Lewis Howes?

  Let's go. I like that.

• 38:13Rupi Kaur?

  I just feel like me, I feel like when I'm off stage, if anything, I'm feeding into the version of me that as a young girl, people told me that I was not enough, not smart enough, not this or not that. And because as a young girl, that's what I heard and that's then what I sort of practiced being. That's, it's, it's hard to like change those habits. But the stage gave me this ability to always be the girl I felt I was inside, the one that I felt like the people around me weren't ready to receive when I was younger. But the stage gave me so much room for that. It was my world. Nobody was on the stage with me.

• 38:56Rupi Kaur?

  Those people who said that I, you know, wasn't enough and didn't deserve to, you know.

• 39:04Rupi Kaur?

  Have a voice and use my voice. Those people were not on stage with me. The stage was mine and I was gonna use it however way I'd like.

• 39:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 39:10Rupi Kaur?

  Or whichever way I'd liked. And so I feel like that's like the beautiful thing about the stage and why performing, which was my first sort of love. When it comes to poetry, I mean, that performing is where my work starts and it ends. Uh, which a lot of people don't know, but like, that's why I always say anytime I'm touring, people come watch me perform because it's a, it's like. It's a totally different frequency compared to just being at home and reading the book on your own.

• 39:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 39:38Lewis Howes?

  So owning your voice or having a lack of voice seems like it was a theme throughout your childhood.

• 39:43Rupi Kaur?

  Mm hmm.

• 39:45Lewis Howes?

  If you um could speak to parents who have young kids. And they're watching or listening right now, what advice would you have for parents? You're not a parent yet, but if you could speak to parents from a. A child perspective of you being, whether it was culturally or your parents or, I don't know who it was, but if it was like.

• 40:08Lewis Howes?

  What is the environment that parent can create to instill their kids owning their voice? Without being like chaotic all day long, but owning their voice.

• 40:19Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 40:19Lewis Howes?

  And growing up to believe that they matter.

• 40:23Rupi Kaur?

  I feel, I mean, I don't know if I have the right answer here because.

• 40:27Lewis Howes?

  But what did you need to hear growing up?

• 40:29Rupi Kaur?

  I.

• 40:32Rupi Kaur?

  Feel like what I needed was when I was using my voice, not being chastised constantly for it.

• 40:38Lewis Howes?

  Can you give an example?

• 40:39Rupi Kaur?

  Like. Hard for me to come up with one, but it's.

• 40:46Rupi Kaur?

  My family is my life, like they're like my greatest support system. And I think that, you know, my parents are so loving and they've given me so many gifts. But every child is different, you know, I'm one of four siblings and each, each of us has needed something different, maybe a different style of parenting. And I think I, you know. Maybe needed a little bit more affection than I received. And so I think giving children the space to experiment and use their voice and like make that environment safe for them and trusting that they'll be okay. And that only when we are given an environment or put in an environment

• 41:30Rupi Kaur?

  where we are allowed to use our voice and we practice using our voice and we're not, you know, told to like be quiet or we're not chastised for it. We can then go into the competence of using our voice as like grownups and adults.

• 41:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, well, something we were talking about off cameras, the process of a lot of your work is kind of based on like sadness and pains, like creating from a place of sadness and pain. I've had many musicians and artists on the show who who've also created from that place. And they've gotten, I guess, either famous or had success with their their work from kind of sadness or darkness or pain. Do you think it's possible to create art from a place of love and joy and be as successful as creating art from a place of pain and sadness?

• 42:22Rupi Kaur?

  I believe that it is possible to create from a place of love and joy. Can it be as successful? I don't know, but I don't care because I'd rather be happy and joyful than be sad. That's kind of where I'm at. You're right, like Milk and Honey was me processing some very tough situations. You know, I wrote to heal, like their writing was my therapy. But the joy that I'm feeling today and the happiness and the peace that I feel, I would not give it up for the world. And I'm happy to share also that I'm feeling joy and I'm feeling happiness. And I'm also in a state of flow with my writing.

• 43:05Rupi Kaur?

  It's flowing through me the way that Milk and Honey float through me for this next book that hopefully will come out soon. But I feel like, you know, with every project, it's different. But I'm in a place where I'm truly so happy. And I I can feel that that joy is helping birth the project.

• 43:28Rupi Kaur?

  A book of poetry that I am so excited about in ways that I was excited about Milk and Honey.

• 43:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What do you, how did you create an environment of peace, joy, and love within you to be able to allow this to flow out of you?

• 43:43Rupi Kaur?

  I just began to like tell myself the truth, like.

• 43:46Lewis Howes?

  Which is what?

• 43:47Rupi Kaur?

  Which is, I feel like, you know, for a long time over the past 10 years, I consistently did things that didn't necessarily bring me joy. A lot of that was just like, you know, if somebody was like, oh, this opportunity is really good, or go do this, or go do that. I would put aside something that I really enjoyed doing to go chase that opportunity because it was like good for my career. And that was not really feeding my soul and I was moving at such a quick pace that I wasn't really able to take life in. And so I think the thing that's brought me joy is presence and I really didn't have a lot of that post Milk and Honey. Cause I mean, life changed so quickly that I sort of like lost it for a moment.

• 44:29Rupi Kaur?

  But being present has allowed me to now get back to a place where I'm finally writing again. Without judgment and without focus on the end result or the outcome. So when I am writing, I get up in the morning, I go to a cafe, I start writing and you know, in the past few years, if I was writing and as I was writing, I was judging the work and I.

• 44:54Lewis Howes?

  In the middle of the sentence.

• 44:55Rupi Kaur?

  In the middle, I was like, this is shit.

• 44:56Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 44:57Rupi Kaur?

  Like, this is not gonna be, this is not gonna make it to the book. Like, just, okay, move on, flip. And then now, and that made writing difficult because then when you're doing that, that inner child, that inner voice is like, well, you're really mean, so I'm just gonna hide and I'm not gonna come out and then you experience like writer's block. And then you're just like, oh my God, like, why isn't this working? And there was just so much resistance. But I would say that presence and focusing on the things that bring me joy and like living life is where the poetry comes from. And so now I, when I'm writing, you know, I, I let it flow out of me without any judgment.

• 45:36Rupi Kaur?

  And the moment that it starts to not feel good and I get to a place where I'm like, oh, there's some friction, I stop. I'm not like, you know. Forcing myself to sit there for five to eight hours a day and write the way I forced myself to do that with the sun and her flowers. I'm like, listen, if I can get an hour in, if I can get two hours in, it's good enough for me. And then, you know, I go, after I leave the cafe, I go home and I might spend like a few hours editing if the flow is sort of coming and it's happening. Cause for me, poetry is a form of spirituality. It was never a job or a career. And I think when all the big metrics came, it was like, oh my God, this is my job. This is my career.

• 46:20Rupi Kaur?

  And I did began to stop treating it like a form of spirituality. And now I've sort of, after 10 years, like come full circle to that moment where I'm like, okay, no, this is a form of spirituality. It's where I'm most connected to myself. So why would I ever bring judgment into that space?

• 46:38Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What does spirituality mean to you?

• 46:41Rupi Kaur?

  Connection with the self. When I'm connected to myself, I'm deeply connected to nature and the universe. And it's just presence, it's breath, it's slowing down, it's laughter, it's conversations, it's love, it's these things that I have learned to just value and prioritize so much more in my life.

• 47:03Lewis Howes?

  Do you have a relationship with God or the universe? Or do you have a, to your creator, to your creator or?

• 47:11Rupi Kaur?

  I definitely have like a relationship with my, with the universe. It's kind of like as a sick person, this, um, God is like a universal energy. And so it's a universal energy that's in me, it's in you, it's in nature, it's in all of us. And so I definitely have a relationship with that. And also my community.

• 47:36Rupi Kaur?

  Has served, has given me so much resilience and strength in my, in moments that I've wanted to give up. You know, my community has survived multiple genocides. There's, our history is

• 47:49Rupi Kaur?

  full of examples of people rising to fight the oppressor and, you know, do really hard things. And so in my life, when I'm having a difficult time and I want to give up, I can just look at my community and find endless examples of courage and resilience. And that's, I've like constantly tapped into that for the last 10 years to give me strength and keep going. Cause I'm like, oh my God, if we could survive that, this is easy. I can do it.

• 48:19Lewis Howes?

  I can write a poem.

• 48:20Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, exactly. I can write a book.

• 48:23Lewis Howes?

  Do you ever hear a voice that's not yours speaking to you?

• 48:28Rupi Kaur?

  What do you mean?

• 48:29Lewis Howes?

  Do you ever hear a voice inside of you that's a higher power, a higher self, a higher version of you, God, the universe, spiritual?

• 48:39Rupi Kaur?

  I would say.

• 48:40Lewis Howes?

  Angel, do you hear anything guiding you?

• 48:44Rupi Kaur?

  I wouldn't say a voice that isn't mine, but I would say that there is

• 48:51Rupi Kaur?

  a voice sometimes I hear in my belly that is,

• 48:56Rupi Kaur?

  that is kind of like that woman on stage who is guiding me. And it's like a gut instinct type of thing. And it doesn't happen a lot, but I feel like there are, that inner voice is always speaking. It's a matter of like, are we tuned into listening to it or not? And I write a lot about that in the third book, Home Body. I was really working on listening to my inner voice and, you know, have a lot of pieces about inner voice and going inward and blocking out the noise. Cause I feel like we always sort of know what we need. It's a matter of, are we listening to it or not? Yeah, that's kind of how I.

• 49:38Lewis Howes?

  But I also heard you say that you had, you know, the inner voice was very like judgmental of you at period times. So are there two different inner voices?

• 49:45Rupi Kaur?

  Oh, my God. I feel like there's so many inner voices. They're like confusing my whole life all the time.

• 49:52Lewis Howes?

  But how do we tap into the higher power of our greater self, our spiritual self, our all-knowing self, our non-judgmental self versus tapping into the power of our critic?

• 50:04Rupi Kaur?

  I think it's a practice. Like if you get so, how many reps of that, listening to that non-judgmental voice can you get in? I just got, for a while there, there was just so many moments where I chose to believe the voice of self doubt. And I let that voice have so much airtime that the more airtime it had, the more that I, you know, it became my reality. And this other higher power, I was just sort of shutting out, not giving it, you know, this airtime it deserved. And so what's made the difference now is just like getting those reps in and believing that and choosing to believe that that is the truth.

• 50:47Rupi Kaur?

  That's kind of been, and now when the inner critic comes in, I've used this like, I've gotten enough reps in of using this like amazing voice that believes in myself that this one can be a lot louder than the inner critic and the inner critic eventually just gives up and just decides to like, all right, call it.

• 51:03Lewis Howes?

  How do we teach that? Or how would you teach a friend that? If you're, you got a girlfriend who's like, you know, they're so smart and talented and beautiful. And you see something inside of them that they're unable to see. Every time they look in the mirror, they're just like, I'm ugly. I'm not good enough. No one loves me. I get heartbroken all the time. I suck, you know? How can we teach that? Or how could you share that with someone else on how they can start to listen to their

• 51:30Lewis Howes?

  spirit self over their critic self more?

• 51:32Rupi Kaur?

  I'm not sure, but.

• 51:38Rupi Kaur?

  Because people sometimes ask me that question and I'm like, I don't know, but

• 51:42Lewis Howes?

  Like I'm still figuring it out.

• 51:43Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, and also like, I'm also, I've gone through enough things to realize like, I'm an eight, nine, 10 confident right now, but life might happen and knock me off my feet. And like, I might go through an experience that suddenly that voice of self doubt is back. And suddenly I'm back at a two, four, five. But this, but the next time that happens, I am good. One thing I'm going to know for sure is that it's possible to work back to a 10. And that I think will make all the difference. But also, I think what has helped, what my readers tell me at the end of shows, or when I meet them on the streets is, they say that

• 52:24Rupi Kaur?

  when they found my work or they read my work, it's when they feel most connected to themselves. And they feel like they've found a voice and they've started writing. And I think that's a way to like, um, silence that inner critic and like, learn to love yourself and believe yourself. And that's why creativity is such a beautiful thing. I use creativity to fall in love with myself and believe in myself. And I think that a lot of my readers are doing the same thing.

• 52:50Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's beautiful. We're, you know, Milk and Honey is 10 years old. And again, if you guys don't have the, the new edition, make sure you guys pick up a copy of this. Really inspiring stuff. It's got a lot of annotations from other inspirational celebrities and talented individuals who've kind of shared their thoughts. And you reflect on everything at the end as well, which seems like you're starting to kind of celebrate it.

• 53:15Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 53:15Lewis Howes?

  You know, at the end, which is good because you're doing that more of like all the stuff you've done.

• 53:21Lewis Howes?

  But we went back and thought about like, okay, right before you started this, you know, if you could speak to that younger version of yourself.

• 53:30Lewis Howes?

  But if you could go in the future 10 years and think of, you know, 40, 41 year old you, 10 years in the future.

• 53:40Lewis Howes?

  And if we could imagine, if we can go through a creative expression for a moment, if you could just imagine the next 10 years from this moment, this conversation, and then 10 years, we do another conversation, right?

• 53:51Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 53:51Lewis Howes?

  10 year anniversary, 20 year anniversary of this. Imagine your life of everything that's about to happen.

• 53:59Lewis Howes?

  Relationships, whether you have a family or not, the work you do, the community you're part of, you know, everything you do to create and things that happen in your life. And if you could go hypothetically, if you go 10 years in the future and imagine you are that person. And you are sitting in front of yourself and you're gonna give advice to your current you.

• 54:22Lewis Howes?

  10 years in the future, what do you think is the wisdom that you would need to hear now? From everything you're about to experience in the next decade? That future you needs to tell you.

• 54:34Rupi Kaur?

  Create work you believe in and don't rush it for anybody or anything. That's one for sure.

• 54:42Rupi Kaur?

  And

• 54:46Rupi Kaur?

  my best work comes

• 54:51Rupi Kaur?

  from being connected to a life source. Which is like love and laughter and family and friends. Center that and value that and the rest will figure itself out. That's kind of the advice that I'd wanna give to myself.

• 55:10Lewis Howes?

  Any relationship advice you think your future self would give you?

• 55:14Lewis Howes?

  Because again, your readers and your followers have seen you go through challenges in relationships from childhood to now, right? Based on your work.

• 55:26Lewis Howes?

  Is there anything that your higher conscious, tenure, you know, self would tell you?

• 55:31Rupi Kaur?

  My next book is all about that.

• 55:36Rupi Kaur?

  It is

• 55:38Rupi Kaur?

  about

• 55:41Rupi Kaur?

  I think like Milk and Honey was

• 55:45Rupi Kaur?

  It's like, it's raw, it's intense, you know, the experiences that you go through and the emotions you feel as like a young teenager. And this next book, book five, that I'm working on is the difficulties that come up with relationships, more serious relationships as like in adulthood. And that's kind of the book I'm writing right now. And I am being very intentional with being honest. And I'm really hoping that in 10 years, I can look back at book five, the one that'll come out hopefully in the next few years. And I can, there'll be a lot of lessons there for myself.

• 56:29Rupi Kaur?

  So that's kind of like what I'm sort of processing right now is like, what kind of relationship is right for me? How to tell when a relationship isn't right? When it's time to leave? How to leave? How to process the guilt of leaving?

• 56:46Lewis Howes?

  Parting someone or?

• 56:47Rupi Kaur?

  Exactly. So there's like a whole world that I feel like I'm like diving into that um, that I'm excited to share with, you know, people of my generation. I think a lot of us are, you know, I'm not married, but like I have lots of friends who are married and maybe not in the best marriages or, you know, people who are in long-term relationships. And they're like, well, leaving seems hard. So I might as well just stay to make this work. And like, I feel like these are topics that like we should, you know, that I'm excited to sort of like dig into in like a poetic way. And like, yeah, explore. So that's kind of my next thing.

• 57:29Lewis Howes?

  And is this, I'm just curious, is this your writing here?

• 57:32Rupi Kaur?

  It is.

• 57:32Lewis Howes?

  Okay. On this, on this poem on page 99, there's an annotation that you share, kind of reflecting on. You say, who else is addicted to that feeling of falling in love? You get at the start of relationships. I live for it. I swear the number of times I've almost ruined a good thing just so I could get back out there and experience that thrill again is problematic. Where do you think that comes from? That feeling of like? That rush, the addictive feeling of like this newness to this kind of experience. And then it's kind of either it gets boring or old, or it's just not the same feeling.

• 58:06Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 58:07Lewis Howes?

  Where do you think that comes from? And where are you now?

• 58:11Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, I think that, I mean, yeah, I always talk about it with my friends. I like initial falling in love stage is so much fun. And I think it's because I haven't found the right person. I think, I believe that when I do find that person, I won't really be focused on trying to get back out there and experiencing that falling in love.

• 58:38Rupi Kaur?

  And also what I'm searching for, or what I hope exists is

• 58:44Rupi Kaur?

  freedom within a relationship. And we sort of talked a little about that offline is I have this like limiting belief that I'm working on, which is that, oh, long-term relationships are suffocating. And so I probably can't, yes, you're trapped, they're suffocating. So I probably will never like be able to like survive one. And so, and now what I'm working on bringing in to sort of my state of mind is like, no, in the right relationship, I can be with someone and still be free.

• 59:13Lewis Howes?

  Amen to that. I mean, I, my whole upbringing was around feeling trapped because my parents had a model of they were both trapped.

• 59:20Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 59:21Lewis Howes?

  And they were both miserable and it was chaotic in my childhood and my, my home. And I begged my parents to send me away at 13 because I just couldn't be around the energy. I knew they each loved me, but they didn't love each other.

• 59:34Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 59:34Lewis Howes?

  And it was traumatic in many ways.

• 59:39Lewis Howes?

  Just the screaming, the fighting, the slamming, the uncertainty of it all, the chaos of it all daily. I didn't know what was gonna happen.

• 59:45Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 59:46Lewis Howes?

  As a child, you feel very unsafe if your home is unsafe.

• 59:49Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 59:50Lewis Howes?

  And so for me, I would get into relationships and feel trapped and felt like I had to people please constantly. I had to change who I was to make the other person happy. And then I was just unhappy and trapped. And I didn't have the courage or the tools to exit the relationship because I was afraid to be alone. There was like, whatever it was, you know, it's just like, I was afraid to hurt someone.

• 1:00:09Rupi Kaur?

  Someone, that's the big one for me. Yeah.

• 1:00:11Lewis Howes?

  But then when I was alone, I was like, I'm free, you know, it's like peace, I'm free. That's amazing. I can be myself again.

• 1:00:17Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 1:00:17Lewis Howes?

  And the thing that I've learned through, you know, just the healing journey is I was telling you about with Martha offline. I was just like, when we started dating, I, I told her upfront, I was like, I'm gonna tell you the truth about everything, but you're probably gonna run away because you're not gonna like it. Because every other person I would tell the truth about, they would get pissed off or angry, upset. And so I would start kind of pulling back the truth. Because I didn't want people to be upset with me, which is kind of limited a little bit, right?

• 1:00:45Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 1:00:45Lewis Howes?

  And I was like, I'm gonna tell you everything, the truth, and you're probably not gonna like it. And she was like, I've always been one of the guys who never told me the truth. So she was, the stuff that most women didn't want to hear from my past, she was like, okay, I accept that. You know, that's your truth.

• 1:00:59Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:59Lewis Howes?

  You know, okay, cool. And I was like, really? You're not gonna get mad or scream at me? And the more I just said, this is 100% who I am, you can take it or leave it.

• 1:01:08Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:09Lewis Howes?

  The more she accepted me, the more safe I felt. And it took time, you know, because some women can be, I'm sure guys can be tricky too, and say, yeah, I accept that about you, then change later.

• 1:01:18Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 1:01:19Lewis Howes?

  Right. But I think the more you step into, I'm 100% gonna be who I am. And I'm also gonna take responsibility for my actions and things like that, but I'm gonna step into who I am in this relationship. And if you can feel the other person accepts you.

• 1:01:34Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 1:01:35Lewis Howes?

  Then you're setting yourself up for, I think, a harmonious relationship, if things align and everything else. But, and that's the one thing I said to Martha, I said, there's only one thing that will make me upset in this relationship before we got committed. She'll say the same thing.

• 1:01:52Lewis Howes?

  I said, the only thing that will make me upset, you can do anything and I will accept you. I will get upset at you, I will get mad at you, I'll never yell at you, nothing. You could ask her today, I've never been upset at her for anything. Cause I chose to accept who she was. Her life path, her decisions, her career, she's an actress, she kisses guys on screen, like I chose to accept that. And not change her.

• 1:02:14Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 1:02:15Lewis Howes?

  But I said, the only thing that I will not accept is if you get angry at me for no reason. If you like get upset at me for telling you the truth. If you like are against something of me being who I am. And you try to change me, I was like, that's not gonna work. You can have a conversation with me about something you don't like, you can be disappointed or upset, but you can't get angry at me without having a conversation first.

• 1:02:39Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 1:02:40Lewis Howes?

  Without, you can't react at me first, you have to calmly have a conversation with me.

• 1:02:44Rupi Kaur?

  Cause then it triggers that unsafe space.

• 1:02:46Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, and I was like, I'm gonna run away.

• 1:02:48Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:48Lewis Howes?

  It's not gonna work.

• 1:02:49Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:49Lewis Howes?

  So you can be upset, you can be angry, but you have to communicate it calmly.

• 1:02:53Rupi Kaur?

  Exactly.

• 1:02:54Lewis Howes?

  Can't scream at me, none of this stuff.

• 1:02:56Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Lewis Howes?

  And she does that, she's calm when she's upset and she talks to me and we work it out.

• 1:03:02Rupi Kaur?

  It feels like you've found, once you stepped into who you are, you also attracted the person who also stepped into who they are.

• 1:03:10Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:03:11Rupi Kaur?

  And just, yeah, you met somebody at your, where you're at.

• 1:03:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:17Rupi Kaur?

  Which is so beautiful.

• 1:03:17Lewis Howes?

  But it took years, you know, it took years of making painful decisions that were painful and relationships and sadness and all these different things, and then me doing the healing journey, which is all gonna be a journey forever.

• 1:03:30Rupi Kaur?

  Right.

• 1:03:30Lewis Howes?

  So, but it sounds like you're doing the same thing for you.

• 1:03:34Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, it's so amazing to hear you say all these things, so I feel like I'm like right behind you in doing the thing.

• 1:03:39Lewis Howes?

  I was 10 years ago, I was doing what you're doing, you know, it's like, it took me a long time to figure this out.

• 1:03:44Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, yeah, it's so, like, I'm so happy for you and it's so happy to hear also.

• 1:03:48Lewis Howes?

  It's possible, it's what I meant to say, cause you're like, I feel trapped and it's suffocating. I'm telling you, it is possible if you keep doing the healing journey.

• 1:03:57Lewis Howes?

  If you look at your heart and you like really take care of it, I'll tell you one more quick story, cause I know we gotta wrap up here soon.

• 1:04:05Lewis Howes?

  I was in like intensive therapy for, I don't know, six or seven months and I was going almost every weekend. Cause I was feeling this pain in my heart. I don't know if you've ever had pain, physical pain in your chest, like, like a sharp pain, it's kind of a numbing pain consistently in relationships at different times when I felt like trapped. I'd feel this pain.

• 1:04:24Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, I felt that.

• 1:04:26Lewis Howes?

  You did?

• 1:04:26Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:27Lewis Howes?

  And I remember, I was like, I will do whatever it takes to let go this pain, but I don't know how to do it.

• 1:04:34Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Lewis Howes?

  I don't know how to do it. I'm trying all these things. And so I, I met a coach and therapist where I was like, I will be here every weekend if I need to be. And I was doing four, five, six hour sessions on Saturdays sometimes. Cause I wanted freedom. I wanted peace and freedom and I didn't have it in the relationship. And I didn't have the tools on how to like communicate and how to get out and create boundaries and all these different things. And there was one day, three and a half years ago, that I was having this conversation and all the healing, like the journey and the integration at all integrated. And I was able to, literally heal my heart where it kind of, it felt this pain explode and like a rush throughout my body. It's really hard to explain.

• 1:05:19Lewis Howes?

  And it was like complete freedom and peace that I'd never felt in my life. And I've had that peace in my heart for the last three and a half years. It hasn't come back. And I'm so grateful for that because I didn't think it was possible, but consistently showing up for self.

• 1:05:35Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 1:05:36Lewis Howes?

  And healing the inner child inside of me. And creating weird ceremonies where I'm like hugging myself as a child and like, integrating that childlike self and saying, I have you as an adult. You're safe. You're home now. And being that parent to my younger self was one of the greatest gifts I ever gave to my younger self.

• 1:05:55Rupi Kaur?

  Wow.

• 1:05:56Lewis Howes?

  And it set me free.

• 1:05:58Rupi Kaur?

  Yes.

• 1:05:59Lewis Howes?

  And so whatever journey you're on right now, which sounds like you've been doing similar stuff, keep doing it.

• 1:06:04Rupi Kaur?

  Okay.

• 1:06:04Lewis Howes?

  Keep doing it, even when you're like, ah, I don't want to do, go to this session or do this work or I'm like tired of this. Why can't I just feel it and it can't be easy?

• 1:06:12Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:13Lewis Howes?

  Keep going.

• 1:06:13Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah. I'm trying to remember that I feel good right now. I'm that, I always keep referencing the eight, nine, 10 confidence.

• 1:06:20Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:06:20Rupi Kaur?

  Because I've been doing the work, because I'm doing the therapy and I'm being consistent with it. So to not stop it when I'm at eight, nine, 10, in fact, To make it like a continuous practice at that point.

• 1:06:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean it need to be every day or every week, but like be consistent with it.

• 1:06:36Rupi Kaur?

  Exactly.

• 1:06:38Lewis Howes?

  I'm so happy for you. We met, what, seven years ago?

• 1:06:40Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Lewis Howes?

  Seven years ago.

• 1:06:41Rupi Kaur?

  I feel like a different person and in the best of ways.

• 1:06:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you're doing amazing things. I want people to get the book Milk and Honey. I've got two final questions for you and then we'll wrap it up. I want you guys to get the 10th Anniversary Collector's Edition. It's really inspiring. It's 200-ish poems, correct?

• 1:06:59Rupi Kaur?

  It's no, it's more now.

• 1:07:00Lewis Howes?

  Now?

• 1:07:00Rupi Kaur?

  So I added, I wanted it to feel like a director's cut of the original. With like my thoughts in it and I didn't want to just change the cover, you know, of, of course I did. That was also one of the most funnest parts with. One of the biggest challenges was trying to figure out how to take a cover that's sort of solidified in people's minds. For the last 10 years and change it in a way that doesn't sort of disrespect the reader. Who like loves that original cover so much. And you know, that original is black and white and for me, when I thought about the last 10 years and being at where I'm at now, this place of celebration, this place of joy. It was only natural to infuse the 10-year edition with these colors that represent joy for me.

• 1:07:44Rupi Kaur?

  Because I realized I, all the challenges that I was experiencing when writing Milk and Honey, I've overcome them. As have the readers who fell in love with Milk and Honey. They have survived so much over the past 10 years and that's something to celebrate. And so I wrote an introduction, I did the annotations, I've included diary entries. And one of my favorite things is a new chapter I added. The remembering, which is full of, I think it's about 40 new poems.

• 1:08:12Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool. Yeah, it's beautiful. I love all, I love all of it. It's amazing.

• 1:08:16Rupi Kaur?

  Thank you.

• 1:08:18Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna ask you to read one poem.

• 1:08:20Rupi Kaur?

  Okay.

• 1:08:20Lewis Howes?

  And I don't know if. You know exactly where it will be, but my intention before you open it up is to read the poem.

• 1:08:31Lewis Howes?

  When you're at your lowest moment. And to read the poem. That you think will. Give your younger self the most peace and freedom that she really needed to have.

• 1:08:42Rupi Kaur?

  Okay, I know which one to read. It's actually one of the new ones. Okay. There are seasons we shine. We glow certain months. Then there are seasons a cold knocks us to our knees and we wonder. Why life hurts so much? It takes wisdom to stay down. It takes guts to decompose, to wither, to cry out all our color. And then. When we've reached the end of our end. Once everything past is shed. The dirt will raise us little by little. The earth will feed us until our spines thicken.

• 1:09:24Rupi Kaur?

  And like the spring before, we will rise faces full of color. Hearts full of joy, we will stand soaking in the heat of summer in no time. Forgetting that the winter ever came.

• 1:09:38Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 1:09:39Rupi Kaur?

  That's a one, right? It's like a reminder that. It will get better.

• 1:09:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:45Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:46Lewis Howes?

  Is there one more too?

• 1:09:48Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, let me see.

• 1:09:51Lewis Howes?

  And for those that maybe are new to you. Maybe this is their first time hearing about you, I don't know if that's possible, but. You also do all the drawings yourself too, which is so cool.

• 1:09:59Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah, I love doing. Visual arts was my sort of like first form of expression. I started as a young kid. And then when I found poetry, I sort of stopped drawing and painting altogether. But then including these little drawings in the poetry was a way for me to like bring my love for drawing back.

• 1:10:15Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 1:10:16Rupi Kaur?

  This is one that. I think is one that a lot of my readers love.

• 1:10:22Rupi Kaur?

  It's on page 197. I want to apologize to all the women I've called pretty before I've called them intelligent or brave. I'm sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you're born with is the most you have to be proud of. When your spirit has crushed mountains. From now on, I'll say things like, you are resilient, or you are extraordinary. Not because I don't think you're pretty, but because I know that you are so much more than that.

• 1:10:57Lewis Howes?

  Amen. Let's go now. I like that. That's great.

• 1:11:00Rupi Kaur?

  Thank you.

• 1:11:01Lewis Howes?

  Um, I want to acknowledge you, Ruby, for your resiliency and for your journey of showing up, being vulnerable with yourself, with your community, your intimate community, but also your community of the world. I want to acknowledge you for going on the healing journey and starting to love yourself the way you deserve to be loved and starting to believe that you're worthy and that your voice matters.

• 1:11:24Rupi Kaur?

  Thank you.

• 1:11:24Lewis Howes?

  So I hope you're, I hope you're feeling that for yourself. And I just want to acknowledge you for the journey you're on.

• 1:11:30Rupi Kaur?

  Thank you. That means so much, especially coming from you. I feel like you put so much love and joy out into the world. And it's such an honor to be in conversation with you and to like feel inspired. It's not all the time that I get to like sit down and like a conversation like this just like feels so easy. And it feels like I'm being fed. So thank you for creating a space for so many of us.

• 1:11:52Lewis Howes?

  Of course, of course.

• 1:11:53Rupi Kaur?

  To like, talk about healing and talk about the hard things. I appreciate you.

• 1:11:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course. Um, before I ask the final question, where can we get the book? Can we see you on tour soon? How can we support you with what you're up to right now?

• 1:12:07Rupi Kaur?

  You can get the book anywhere books are sold and I am on tour for the next two months. Um, I'll be going across America, the UK. And usually when I'm on tour, I'm performing, but this is the first time I'm exclusively doing like a book signing tour. So come get your book signed and yeah.

• 1:12:26Lewis Howes?

  You're not performing?

• 1:12:27Rupi Kaur?

  I'm not performing this time.

• 1:12:29Lewis Howes?

  Just a books, book signing, photos and stuff like that.

• 1:12:32Rupi Kaur?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:12:32Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 1:12:33Rupi Kaur?

  Yeah. We'll do a tour, like a performance tour again with the next book.

• 1:12:36Lewis Howes?

  Are you going to be active on social media? I've, I've seen you doing less consistently. Like you take like a month off sometimes.

• 1:12:42Rupi Kaur?

  I know. I'm so bad.

• 1:12:44Lewis Howes?

  You went hard for 10 years.

• 1:12:46Rupi Kaur?

  I'm tired.

• 1:12:48Rupi Kaur?

  I don't know. I mean, I love to even speak to you offline about it.

• 1:12:51Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:12:52Rupi Kaur?

  I feel like I've been doing it for so long. Like, I've been, you know, on Tumblr since 2011, on Instagram since 2012. Like, how much longer can I keep doing it? But I know that it's important. You know, what tour forces me to like, put myself out there. And a lot of people don't also realize that I'm still kind of camera shy, even though I stand up in front of people and I'm like, you know, performing and doing all the things, talking to a camera still a little bit odd to me. But you know what? I'm getting better at it. And once I hit the road, I start tour on Sunday. I'm gonna get back out there and just be like, talking to all my people.

• 1:13:29Lewis Howes?

  That's good, that's good, that's good. Okay, perfect. Well, we can follow you on social media and the website. Where can I get the link for the tour? Is that it?

• 1:13:36Rupi Kaur?

  It is on my website, rupi cor dot com. You can go on my TikTok or my Instagram and it'll be the link in bio.

• 1:13:43Lewis Howes?

  First link there. Okay, cool. Final question for you, Rupi. What is your definition of greatness?

• 1:13:53Rupi Kaur?

  My definition of greatness at this moment is finding the strength

• 1:14:01Rupi Kaur?

  to do the things that make you feel alive. Because those things are not always easy to do. But I believe that when we do those things that make us feel alive, we can be great.

• 1:14:11Lewis Howes?

  Rupi, thanks for being here. Appreciate you.

• 1:14:13Rupi Kaur?

  Thank you.

• 1:14:14Lewis Howes?

  Amazing. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

• 1:14:58Lewis Howes?

  And now it's time to go out there and do something great.