Nicky Jam Discusses Struggling with Panic Attacks, Drug Addiction, & PTSD

SUMMIT OF GREATNESS IS DAYS AWAY! Have you saved your tickets yet? Get them before they sell out at lewishowes.com/tickets. I'm thrilled to welcome the iconic reggaeton superstar Nicky Jam to The School of Greatness! In this powerful conversation, Nicky opens up about his incredible journey from childhood poverty and addiction to becoming one of the biggest Latin artists in the world. He shares raw stories of his struggles with drugs, jail time, and losing everything - and how he found the strength to make an epic comeback. We dive deep into Nicky's creative process, his relationship with God, and how he's working to heal generational trauma. His honesty about battling anxiety and finding peace is truly inspiring. Whether you're a fan of Latin music or just love a great redemption story, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to overcome adversity and chase their dreams. In this episode you will learnHow Nicky overcame addiction and rebuilt his career after hitting rock bottomThe power of forgiveness and humility in achieving successNicky's unique approach to creating hit songs with sad lyrics but upbeat melodiesHow faith and conversations with God have guided Nicky's journeyThe challenges of finding peace while pursuing a high-profile music careerStrategies for dealing with childhood trauma and PTSDThe importance of street smarts and resilience in navigating the music industryFor more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1665For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Eckhart Tolle – https://link.chtbl.com/1463-podRhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-podJohn Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I know that God exists because I'm living proof. Because I remember that I told God on my knees, I said, "God, please help me." And I felt that God told me, "Stop doing drugs and I'll give you everything back." He didn't give me everything back. He gave me 150,000 more.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  I started getting panic attacks, anxiety and stuff like that. See, when somebody goes to war, they get PTSD, right? So what's the difference from a guy that goes to the war from a kid that sees the war from his house? We still have PTSD. Ain't nobody telling us we have PTSD.

• 0:42Lewis Howes?

  We all have our own levels of trauma. I'm not comparing mine to yours or anything like that.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no, no. I can't say your trauma is less than mine. No. I didn't see my mom for more than 20 years, something like that. Wow. She was in the streets. Most of the time that I tried to do music was to see if I got famous enough for my mom to recognize me. What happened with that? Well.

• 1:07Lewis Howes?

  My name is Lewis Howes. Thanks so much for being here. I want to remind you about the Summit of Greatness, our annual conference happening this September in Los Angeles. With David Goggins, Dr. Joe Dispenza, and many more incredible speakers and performers. There will be so many live attendees there that you can meet with, you can network with, and you can help transform your life. I can't wait to see you at the Summit of Greatness here in Los Angeles.

• 1:34Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring, the iconic Nicki Jam in the house. Good to see you, my man.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  Likewise.

• 1:42Lewis Howes?

  Very excited. I was telling you beforehand that I've been, believe it or not, as a gringo, I've been big into salsa dancing and Latin pop music for 15, 20 years. I've got a Mexican fiance. I love the Latin culture. I'm learning Spanish, but... Your Spanish is so quick when you're speaking. I'm like, I still don't understand what you're saying, but.

• 2:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, especially a Puerto Rican Spanish.

• 2:03Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man, you guys are fast.

• 2:05Speaker 00

  And I'm, I'm one of like, the, like, the ones you could more understand, because I lived in Colombia. They have the best Spanish, one of the best Spanish.

• 2:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 2:13Speaker 00

  Around. So, uh, Colombia made me like, you know, speak a little bit more clearly.

• 2:18Lewis Howes?

  Clean.

• 2:18Speaker 00

  In Puerto Rico, we speak quick.

• 2:19Lewis Howes?

  You got slang too, man. That slang, I'm like, what are these words? But a couple of fun facts. I don't know. Some of these may not be fun, but one of them is, uh, we're both Pisces.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 2:29Lewis Howes?

  Born on March 17th.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:31Lewis Howes?

  On March 16th.

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Oh, awesome. What? A day before me? That's crazy. If we was hanging out, we could just celebrate in one day.

• 2:37Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, exactly. Um, maybe, we both have a love for Latin music. I'm a big salsa dancer, like I was telling you, and I love your music. So congratulations on making a big impact on the world. I think you have over a half a dozen videos that have over a billion views. You're one of the biggest artists in the world. And, uh, you, you bring so much joy and love to so many people. So I want to acknowledge you for that.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  I appreciate that.

• 3:00Lewis Howes?

  Maybe not so much of a fun fact, but something in common. Uh, you went to, you went to jail for a while for, for drugs. My brother went to prison for four and a half years for selling drugs. And we have that kind of experience in common. I didn't experience it personally, but I went to a prison almost every weekend when I was younger to go visit my brother.

• 3:17Speaker 00

  Your brother, yeah.

• 3:18Lewis Howes?

  And I know the impact that had on his life, our family's life, and my life by being associated with that. I'm curious, uh, and you went through a few different phases in your life. You, you had success early on. Then you kind of hit rock bottom, which you talk about.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  Okay, those sounds.

• 3:35Lewis Howes?

  I mean, big. You, I mean, you gained a ton of weight. You were in drugs. You almost overdosed. You had a lot of different challenges. Jail, getting caught up in the wrong activities. But then you had a massive bounce back. And I'm curious, what did the jail experience teach you about your mindset and what was possible after that experience? Because it sounded like for me, from the research I've done, that you didn't think you could really come back from that, or you struggled in a big way. You gained a lot of weight. You were like, what's the point of life?

• 4:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:06Lewis Howes?

  So how did you turn it around? Was there someone that supported you during that time? Was it something inside of you that said, I gotta make something in my life? What was the process of getting out of the darkness and into the light?

• 4:19Speaker 00

  I would say, uh, when you get in there and they close those, uh, they close that, uh. How do you call it?

• 4:27Lewis Howes?

  The jail cell?

• 4:28Speaker 00

  The jail cell, yeah, that sound is incredible. And automatically you think like you uh you lost everything, you know? I'm very claustrophobic, so the the space is very limited. Um, and uh they gave me more years, actually. They gave me six years and I came out in three.

• 4:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:48Speaker 00

  I guess, but I'm sorry, I guess, I guess uh they thought that I was a good guy and they needed to put like really bad, bad guys in there. They didn't have too much space, so I that was a good thing for me.

• 4:58Lewis Howes?

  Three years for you?

• 4:59Speaker 00

  Three years, yeah.

• 5:00Lewis Howes?

  That's a long time, man.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  It is, it is a long time, but uh the reality is uh I'm I'm the type of guy, I was born and raised in in a lot of problems, you know, like my my mom was a drug addict. My dad was a drug addict, had zombies in my house, literally, so for me, I wasn't raised in an environment where I go to jail and I'm like, oh my god, I'm shocked. Nah, it was like, for me, it was normal.

• 5:22Lewis Howes?

  It was like home?

• 5:23Speaker 00

  It was, oh, yeah, it was home. It was it was normal and it was something that I knew I was gonna be there in any moment, cuz I was a rebel. I didn't have my mom, you know, in my mentality, my mom, you know, she she abandoned me. So I was a rebel. I wasn't scared of going to jail. I wasn't scared of uh

• 5:41Speaker 00

  dying or nothing like that. You say it was for drugs, but actually it was for attempted murder.

• 5:45Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  Why I was out, why I was uh in jail. Um cuz of the lawyer things I can't really speak about.

• 5:53Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  You know, a lot of things, but uh i- it's it's one of the the worst thing that could happen to you as a human being, but at the same time, I always look to find uh positive moments and bad moments, you know, and I always like joke around and I'm always joking, even if it's a bad moment. I joked around. Oh, everybody that was in jail, I made jokes for them, I sang for them. Um, I bullied a lot of people in a good way, in a good way.

• 6:19Lewis Howes?

  Teasing people, picking up people.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  I was always, you know, the people always were like, if somebody had like, you know, uh life in prison, like, yo, keep away from that guy. He he don't he don't like nobody. I mean, I I understand why. But I would still joke around with the guy that had life in prison. That was just me, you know, I I I I made my time constructive, I read the Bible, I did push-ups, um.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  But yes, my soul was dead. My soul was dead at the beginning. After that, I was like, almost used to it, you know? So when they called my name and they say, "Nick Rivera, Nick Rivera Caminero", and they telling me that I'm ready to leave, I couldn't believe it, cuz I knew I had more years coming by.

• 6:59Lewis Howes?

  So you got out on good behavior, or got out early?

• 7:02Speaker 00

  Good behavior, and like I said, they probably needed space for real, real bad guys. And I could see that cuz the space was very limited in jail. But nothing, I came out, and when you come out of jail, it's not only about dealing with, it's not coming out. It's dealing with everything you left behind, all the bad things you left behind before you went in there. So it's like, it's a smack in the face. First of all, in three years, a lot of things changed. They had phones, had cameras. We didn't have that before. And in three years, a lot of changes. And apart from that, you know, dealing with all the problems that I left behind.

• 7:44Lewis Howes?

  You had to face those things.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  And not only faced that, your career is on the floor. Nobody wants to mess with you. Nobody wants to record with you. I went to studios, people ignoring me. I didn't have any songs doing good. I had nothing, obviously, cuz I was away. So when I come out, it wasn't like Tupac's story that when he came out, everybody was waiting for him. And, you know, like, you know, like, these rappers, when they go to jail, they in their prime. And I wasn't really in jail in my prime. When I got in jail, I was already going down as in my career, so...

• 8:14Lewis Howes?

  And how old were you then?

• 8:15Speaker 00

  I was like twenty something years old. I don't really remember exactly the age, like twenty-three, twenty-five, twenty-four, something like that. I come out in 2006, and I realize,

• 8:29Speaker 00

  it was gonna be worse for me. Cuz I was still doing drugs inside of jail.

• 8:33Lewis Howes?

  Probably more drugs in jail than outside of jail.

• 8:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course, you had nothing to do. You would just do drugs. And I got drugs inside of jail, I was doing. And then I started doing perks more than ever.

• 8:42Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  And I was doing thirty perks a day. So I was literally like

• 8:47Lewis Howes?

  Thirty?

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, a day.

• 8:49Lewis Howes?

  Man, your liver must have been just screaming at you.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  I know, I know. I don't even know. I think my liver loves me because I've been giving him a lot of shit since I was 11 years old.

• 8:59Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  So, uh, yeah, I was taking 30 perks a day and, and who, if you know about perks, that's, that's opium. That's, that's heroin.

• 9:08Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:09Speaker 00

  Literally heroin in the pill. And, uh, it was just embarrassments after embarrassments. It was just crazy.

• 9:17Lewis Howes?

  And you get out in 2004, 2005? Is that when you got out?

• 9:19Speaker 00

  2006.

• 9:20Lewis Howes?

  2006 you get out? It's almost 18 years ago.

• 9:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:24Lewis Howes?

  And when did you start to change your mindset? I mean, you had to face a lot of the stuff that you dealt with in the past. You had to like deal with people not wanting to work with you.

• 9:32Speaker 00

  No, well, a lot of things, a lot of things happened after that because I go, I, I start trying to get my career back, but I, I ended up doing more drugs than ever and

• 9:42Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 9:43Speaker 00

  messing up my career more and more. And, um, a lot of things happened, you know, like stupid stuff like, I don't know, like I was in my, I was in my car and my car was under my sister's name. I didn't pay for six months. I was already famous and then the cops tried to stop me. Then he didn't have a sign, so I kept going and then helicopters came or a bunch of cops came. They threw me against the car. They arrested me. It was embarrassing, the most embarrassing thing that happened. One of the most embarrassing thing that happened because imagine, imagine the, the arresting in front of everybody.

• 10:12Lewis Howes?

  All over the news too and yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 00

  All the news and we're, we're jumping until, remember before I was in jail, I had a whole bunch of street problems already. You know what I'm saying? Like street things that I can't really talk about, but I did a lot of street things and, and I was involved in a lot of stupid stuff. So I went through hell before jail and then I went through hell in jail. Then I went through hell after jail. But in 2008, I got a call. You know, after all these embarrassments, all these situations, I was overweight. I was a drug addict overweight.

• 10:50Lewis Howes?

  You were a skinny drug addict, yeah.

• 10:52Speaker 00

  I wish I was a skinny drug addict. At least I could wear better clothes. But when you're overweight and you're a drug addict, I think it's worse.

• 10:58Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  For some reason. Cause I did perks and when you, when you take pills, you eat.

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:04Speaker 00

  It's not like you take pills and, and, uh, and you not, you don't get hungry. You eat. So I ate more than ever and I got big and I just all, all I was trying to do was take the pills and eat. Out of anxiety, you know? And, um.

• 11:21Lewis Howes?

  On a scale of one to 10 at that season of your life, that time in your life, 10 being you had a lot of love for yourself, one being you had zero love for yourself, where were you on that scale?

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Love for myself?

• 11:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, like self-love, self-belief, self-confidence.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  Oh, I can say two or one.

• 11:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  It was horrible. I didn't care. I mean, I looked, I was big, I was fat. I was horrible looking. I was, uh, had no confidence in myself. Music-wise, my career-wise, I thought I was just an embarrassment and, um.

• 11:58Lewis Howes?

  You got a call.

• 11:59Speaker 00

  I had a call. I got a call in 2008. And, um, somebody told me, somebody said like, they wanted me to do a show in, in Colombia. And I'm over here, I didn't have shows, like I had to lie. Some, some people would call me and say if I could get these other singers and I would be like, yeah, I'll get you these other singers and, uh, and, and then I'll get half of their money.

• 12:20Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  And like the deposit and, and then I'll call them and say, you know what? They can't do, they can't make it, but I'll do it, I'll do it for you for that half. And, uh, then I'll call cities next to those cities, states next to those states. And I'll, I'll make three people contract me that didn't even want to contract me to do shows. I would, I would trick people into, you know, booking me shows without wanting to. So I had to hustle my way. So I get this phone call in, in 2008. And, uh, the guy's like, we need Nicky Jam for the June 18th, something like that. And I said, yeah, let me get you my manager real quick. And I'll just change my voice like, yeah, I want Nicky Jam.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, what's the date? Uh, June 12th. Oh, let me check the date. Let me see. That's the only date we have available.

• 13:03Lewis Howes?

  I like it.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  I uh, I go, I go to Columbia thinking in my mentality is like, okay, I'm overweight. I have no hit songs.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  What am I gonna do in Columbia? Why is these people like, are they, are they booking me? Cause they wanna make me feel embarrassed like, they had like the, the headline of the singers were like, they were all killing the game.

• 13:29Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 13:29Speaker 00

  They were killing, they were in their best moments and I'm like the only one that doesn't have a hit.

• 13:35Lewis Howes?

  So uh- Something from like 10 years ago maybe or something.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, probably like seven, eight, it don't matter like in the music industry.

• 13:41Lewis Howes?

  You were relevant.

• 13:42Speaker 00

  You need to be relevant. It don't matter if it's two years ago. Uh, unless you have the icon status that I have right now, but I didn't have that in those days.

• 13:52Speaker 00

  I um, I go over there and I see that uh, the show starts, it's a stadium, there's thousands of people, it's amazing. Everybody was crazy, there was people outside the hotel, I was like, I didn't wanna go out cause I was embarrassed. I had, you know, I was very insecure. Um, when I get to the show, I get to the, to the, to the place where they, they make you wait, the waiting room.

• 14:16Lewis Howes?

  Green room area.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  The green room, whatever, yeah. Um, I'm noticing everybody's performing before me. And I'm, I'm, I'm talking to uh, I talked to the promoter, but yo, why, why you got me last?

• 14:31Speaker 00

  I don't even have a hit song. These people over here have hit songs. They should be the last ones. I should be the first one. I should open for them. And they're like, nah, you wrong, bro. People here waiting for you, cause you never been here when you was in your best moment. So, obviously, cause I was, I was locked away.

• 14:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:49Speaker 00

  Um, so I'm like, wow, that's crazy. So I, I go on stage and I start performing my, my songs. And for them, they're classics. For me, they're old songs.

• 14:58Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  For them, for them and their classics and uh, standing, standing ovation, it was just incredible. I killed the game and more than 40,000 people screaming and they were crazy and it was just amazing. They didn't care that I was overweight, nothing. Nobody even mentioned my weight. Puerto Rico, everybody mentioned my weight every, every day.

• 15:16Lewis Howes?

  You're criticizing judge in your own country, but in another country, you're a hero.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  It's normal, it happens. I understand and I get it, but-

• 15:25Speaker 00

  Then I realized, I say, you know what, I'ma stay here.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  Cause I started doing shows that same week and I was doing like three shows a day. Yeah, it wasn't a lot of money, but let's say it was $2,000 a show. And I mean, three shows a day, three shows a day, three shows on Friday, three shows on Saturday, three shows on Sunday. I was like, bro, I'm making $10,000 a week here. And I started going home and bringing-

• 15:48Lewis Howes?

  And you were getting appreciated and loved and people wanted you.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  And then people saying I was a legend and you know, I was like, I'm a fat legend, but okay, whatever you want to call me.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  I, uh, I, I think to myself and I say, you know what? I'm moving to Colombia.

• 16:04Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:05Speaker 00

  I'm moving to this country. This country is showing me so much love. This country is giving me to eat. It's giving me a job and they appreciate me. And not only that, the country's so beautiful. The people are so beautiful. The way they treat people, the way they go out of their way to help you, especially Medellin, Colombia. And I said, why am I going back to Puerto Rico? I mean, in Puerto Rico, I'm this old school rapper that sucks, that has drug problems and crime and stuff like that. And here I'm a legend that people love and appreciate. Obviously, I'm staying in Colombia. So I just moved to Colombia.

• 16:50Speaker 00

  Make the long story short, I, uh,

• 16:54Speaker 00

  I go to Colombia. The first months that I go to Colombia, obviously I go party. I do all the crazy stuff you do there first two or three months. You know, did drugs, went to the clubs, hang around with the girls. Everything that you would expect me to do in Colombia. But, uh, for some reason I did so much drugs that something happened to me physically. Where I had a problem in my, um, I don't know if you call it motor system. You know, everything that your brain controls your body. So if you're gonna pick up this phone, your brain tells you, pick up the phone. I was having problems with that because of all the drugs I did. Not only in that moment, during my whole life.

• 17:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's catching up to you in your brain.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  It was catching up to me in my brain. There was something was going on in my brain. So one day I had like a problem, like a motor system problem. And when something like that happens, it's just the scariest thing in the world. It's not like, it's not like you get, um, overdose or something like that. It's your brain not working. So I went to a doctor, the doctor told me to, if I'd rather, I should stop or I'm just gonna get a term. Uh, how do you call that? When you get, when you, when you just get a.

• 17:58Lewis Howes?

  Like paralysis or like.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  Paralysis, exactly. And, um.

• 18:02Lewis Howes?

  That's a scary conversation.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  A very scary conversation. And he said that and automatically my mentality was like, okay, I'm gonna stop. I called my dad and I stopped doing drugs. I, I, I got into a room for three days and you know how it is when you break a drug, especially something with opium. It's like you, you, it's like you're cold, your body's, you're vomiting, you're dying, you're cold, you're warm, you're sweaty, you're coldy, warm, your back, into your bone. Three days of that, three days of hell. And, uh, finally I get clean. Um, obviously that, that first week and I started getting, uh, panic attacks. Started getting panic attacks and, uh, anxiety and stuff like that.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  So before, oh, I did a song called Pianas and Me. I did this song.

• 18:51Lewis Howes?

  Pianas and Me?

• 18:52Speaker 00

  Pianas and Me, yeah. I did this song. I did the video with $500 that my boy gave me. Um, when I did the video, when I did the, the, the song, uh, uh, for some reason I was feeling worse. The panic attacks and I moved into a farm.

• 19:10Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, in Colombia.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Far away farm in Colombia, very cheap. It was like $500, it was a beautiful, it looked like a mansion, I ain't gonna lie. But to get to that mansion, you had to go through, uh, you know, when there's no, uh. Uh, when there's no, like, there's no street to navigate. You have to go on top of, uh... So, i- i- i- it was crazy, but for some reason, I just, you know, connected myself there. I- I was feeling better. Anxiety started getting better. I was alone, living there in that farm. I had a cow going through the window, eating my arepas. Wow. It was an experience. I felt good, you know? I was feeling better about myself. And I was there for six months, and my manager comes up. Well, he's my manager today. In that moment, he was trying to be my manager.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  I didn't want a manager, because I had a lot of bad experiences with, uh, managers. And, um...

• 20:01Speaker 00

  I go to, uh...

• 20:05Speaker 00

  He comes to me and he tells me, "Uh, Nicky, bro, your song is a (bleep) hit." I'm like, "What the (bleep) are you talking about?" So, the song you did with a buddy for 500 bucks? That song? Yeah. Months prior? I did the song a year ago. Oh, wow. A year ago.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  And I'm like, "What do you mean, the 'Be Inside Me' song? That song's been around for a year, bro." And there's songs that radio rejected it, nobody wanted to play it. Like, "What are you talking about?" He's like, "Bro, look on Insta- uh, look on YouTube." So, I went to YouTube. It had, like, more than four million views. In those days, four million views for a song was amazing. It was viral. We're talking about 2011. That's viral. 2012, that was amazing. And it was just one city. The song was killing the game in one city. That's all I wanted, because I knew if I had a hit in Medellin, Colombia, it was gonna go national. Because Medellin was like the second capital of the, of the, of the country. So, I go down to, uh... I didn't believe it anyway, so I go down and I... There's this radio station show, and I go perform.

• 21:05Speaker 00

  And when I'm performing, when I perform, I sing all my old songs, like I always did in Colombia. And then people started screaming, "Pensas en mí, pensas en mí, pensas en mí." I'm like... And I look at the DJ, I'm like, "Yo." Play that song. "Do you have the beat?" And he's like, "I don't have the beat, but I have the song. You can just sing on top of the song." I'm like, "Let's go." He plays the song. When the beat comes out, the crowd goes... Thousands of people start screaming, and they go crazy, and they start singing the song. Obviously, tears come out of my eyes, because this is the first time I have a hit after, like, almost 10 years. Wow. Um...

• 21:40Speaker 00

  To make the long story short...

• 21:43Speaker 00

  Uh, I remember my song went number one on the radio. And I'm telling you, I have Grammys, I have more than sixteen billboards, I have American billboards, I have Hall of Fame billboards, I have every award you could imagine. I have them all. And nothing made me cry more than the number one song on the radio in just the city of Medellin, in La Mega. Cause it was the first time I had success. I mean, I walked all around the street just crying, cause I couldn't believe I had something that was, people were liking. It was domino effect after that. Obviously, I lost weight. I lost more than probably seventy pounds. I was looking great, awesome.

• 22:26Speaker 00

  And when I lost weight automatically, everything changed. Really? Everything, the way people looked at me, the way people talked to me, like, the security I had to myself too at the same time. It was like, cause I know, no, this, I ain't trying to like, but I know I'm a handsome man, you know what I'm saying? I know I have it, you know? I just, if you don't take care of yourself, you can be the most handsome man, you're gonna look like, I think handsome people could be, even look worse when they, when they don't take care of themselves, you know? Um, so, I, uh, I started, you know, like, thinking, okay, this country has sixty-five, more than sixty-five million people.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  If I do a number one national song, I could jump around other countries, cause this YouTube thing is, is just what people respect. Uh huh. So... And it's share of all. This is where, this is where my business mentality automatically opened up. Okay, I'm not doing drugs anymore, I'm clean. And losing the weight? I lost the weight, cause I already lost everything, I was skinny again, I was looking good, I has, you know, I had a, I was very secure by myself. But at the same time, I was thinking, because I know for a fact that if you have a lot of million, if you have a lot of views in those years, automatically, other people, and still today,

• 23:56Speaker 00

  other countries are gonna be like, yo, what does this guy have that he has all these views? So I didn't do one number one national hit in Colombia. I did five number one songs nationally in Colombia, and I became one of the best singers in Colombia, not being Colombian, competing with J. Bobbin.

• 24:14Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 24:14Speaker 00

  Being J. Bobbin, the guy that saw me take a cab trying to get at the show, him in his Range Rover, you know what I'm saying? And I'm over here taking cabs and embarrassing stuff like that. I came from that to going toe-to-toe with him in his own country.

• 24:29Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Being one of the biggest singers nationally in Colombia, not being Colombian.

• 24:38Speaker 00

  So...

• 24:39Lewis Howes?

  Has anyone else done that, gone to Colombia, another Latin singer?

• 24:42Speaker 00

  No, they have, they've had hits in Colombia, but not be, not, not, they haven't been the number one

• 24:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  singer in Colombia, you know what I'm saying? But yeah, there's, there's, there's, I, I can't, no, actually, no, no, no. There's a lot of Puerto Ricans that has been having hits in Colombia, but none of them moved to Colombia.

• 25:01Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right. Marc Anthony didn't move there, yeah, yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Nobody, not even Marc Anthony, not even the reggaeton singers from my genre.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  And then, from that, we went to, uh,

• 25:16Speaker 00

  we, we went to like, started to try to work the US, you know, we knew that we needed to do something. Actually, the funny thing is, a song before that, it was already a hit in Colombia, I went to this, uh, program called HTV. And, um,

• 25:37Speaker 00

  I went to Miami and tried to play the song for him. I went two times. I remember his office was in a, like a, it was like in a safe, a bank safe. It was a big movie, I don't know. The guy looked like Al Capone in there. Showed him my song. I went two times there, and the second time, he's like, yo, bro, I'm just gonna be real with you, you're just too old.

• 25:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  Okay. I'm old. It's funny, because I'm living in Colombia and I have all these hits already, I'm making all these views, and the guy thinks I'm old, it's like, no problem.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  I come up with a song called Voy a Beber. Which has millions of views, probably has a billion views already. I think it has a billion views already. I do this song and it becomes one of the biggest hits in Colombia. And it starts to be a hit in the States, but without the radio support.

• 26:28Lewis Howes?

  Just YouTube, social media, Spotify, just people sharing it?

• 26:31Speaker 00

  We didn't have Spotify in those days.

• 26:33Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 26:34Speaker 00

  If all my hits would have been in moments of Spotify, if you think I'm OK now, bro, it would have been a whole different ballgame. I was one of the singers that got huge without Spotify.

• 26:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  And then Spotify came. Hate that, but yes.

• 26:52Lewis Howes?

  What do you think it was about these hits? Was it, were you strategic in the, I have to make a great YouTube video? Obviously a great song, but then the video needs to be something that's shareable?

• 27:03Speaker 00

  First of all, it was just my moment. People loved the music that I was doing. I was doing really great music.

• 27:09Lewis Howes?

  You were inspired.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  Apart from that, it was the Instagram era when it started. And I was one of the first influencers in the Spanish movement. Nobody was doing that. I was doing videos, 15 minutes, 15 seconds.

• 27:23Lewis Howes?

  15-second videos back in the day.

• 27:24Speaker 00

  Back in the days, and I was killing it. I was walking the streets of Medellin, showing people when I bought my first car. After all the days that I was messed up, all my success, everything, everything. I was really working social media. And that combined with the really good music made people just go crazy about me. Because they saw the human part of me that they never saw. They didn't know. A lot of people heard Nicki J, but never knew who Nicki J was.

• 27:53Lewis Howes?

  They just heard the music, they didn't know who you were.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  They didn't know who I were, because in those days, we didn't have that platform. Today, we have the platform.

• 28:01Lewis Howes?

  And people also love a comeback.

• 28:03Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:04Lewis Howes?

  They love when someone's, they love watching someone crash, but then they love watching someone come back.

• 28:09Speaker 00

  Oh, 100%, 100%. And, yeah, it came from that, from that to making work in the States. There's a lot of parts of the story that, you know, there's too much. It will probably be here until tomorrow, but.

• 28:23Speaker 00

  I worked the States and it came from having five number one hits in Colombia.

• 28:30Lewis Howes?

  In the States, okay.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  To having five number one hits globally.

• 28:33Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 28:34Speaker 00

  In the world.

• 28:35Lewis Howes?

  Come on.

• 28:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, globally. So from that, the World Cup, movies in Hollywood, Will Smith, Ben Diesel, my series, my Netflix series.

• 28:47Speaker 00

  Oh my God, I've done so much. I mean, I don't even know where to finish or start, to be honest with you, but I'm really grateful for what Columbia and my fans and the whole world have gave me. And I'm proud of myself too, because I busted my.

• 29:03Lewis Howes?

  Of course, man. Now, I'm curious, because you grew up in an environment that wasn't a rich mindset environment. It sounds like both your parents were involved in drugs. You didn't see your mom really at all or much, I think, for a long time.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  Okay, so you understand the story. My dad, when my dad was, when I was nine years old, they caught my dad with 25 kilos of cocaine.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  An undercover cop that hanged out with us like he was our friends in the family and all that. So he goes to jail. He bails himself. Instead of going to jail,

• 29:38Speaker 00

  he takes us as a fugitive to Puerto Rico because he knew that my mom wasn't in, my mom left the house and my mom wasn't in position to take care of us or nothing like that. We was going to be alone. So my dad just, you know, he just took the risk. And in those days, the system was not like today. Today, you travel from the States to Puerto Rico, they gonna catch you in the airport. Today, back in the days, back in the early 90s, it wasn't really like that. So my dad takes us to Puerto Rico and that's how, that's how we end up in Puerto Rico. You know, my dad, as a fugitive, was, you know, taking care of us and that's why I didn't see my mom for more than.

• 30:20Speaker 00

  I don't know, 20 years, something like that.

• 30:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:23Speaker 00

  I mean.

• 30:23Lewis Howes?

  Did you talk to her at all on the phone?

• 30:25Speaker 00

  I lost my mom.

• 30:26Lewis Howes?

  20 years.

• 30:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, she was a drug addict. She was in the streets.

• 30:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 00

  She was in the streets and then she had a problem where she stabbed this guy and they deported her to Dominican Republic. I didn't even know she was in Dominican Republic. So I didn't know where my mom was. Most of the time that I tried to do music in my comeback was to see if I was, if I got famous enough for my mom to recognize me and get to me.

• 30:54Lewis Howes?

  What happened with that, with her mom?

• 30:56Speaker 00

  It did happen.

• 30:57Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 30:58Speaker 00

  I did a show in Dominican Republic.

• 30:59Lewis Howes?

  Come on.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, you'll see it on the Netflix series. I did a show in Dominican Republic and my, my bodyguard told me, Nikki, this is lady outside. She's saying that she's your mom.

• 31:14Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  And I'm like.

• 31:16Lewis Howes?

  You haven't seen her in 20 years?

• 31:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:21Speaker 00

  And I couldn't believe it. And I just went outside and she was arguing with the bouncers of the event. And then I called her and then obviously we hugged and we had our moment.

• 31:31Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:33Lewis Howes?

  Holy cow.

• 31:34Speaker 00

  Till this day, you know, we have contact. We talk every day. I bought her a house. You know, I take care of her. I can't really see her as much because she lives in Dominican Republic because she got deported because of her situation. She can't come here. I'm fighting that. I'm trying to get the pardon from United States so she could come back. I'd rather have her over here because it's hard to make a, how do you say?

• 31:57Lewis Howes?

  Connection.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  A connection if she's not with me.

• 32:00Lewis Howes?

  Visibly with you, yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:02Lewis Howes?

  What is that like? I mean, I can only imagine just the challenge of having a father, you know, doing drugs, your mom not really being around or being in the streets and you guys having to leave her.

• 32:12Lewis Howes?

  I mean, how do you, I mean, it sounds like you didn't have a good foundation mentally or emotionally on how to navigate the world.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  No, I never did. Well. I have the street smart. Thanks, thanks for that situation. You know what I'm saying? Thanks because of the situation of my mom and my dad. I have a street smart and that's something that you don't study anywhere. You know, I was raised in the streets on my own, literally. I've been singing since I'm 12 years old. So I was always in the streets trying to hustle, trying to make money, trying to do it, trying to make it, trying to get there and, and the big guys would take care of me from the streets and all the guys from the hood would take care of me. And, and you know, like my, my father did a good job as a father and I respect him. I love him so much and I will always respect him because he did the impossible to take care of us.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  And, uh, but I have guys from the streets that I have to give credit to that were my father too as well.

• 33:07Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:08Lewis Howes?

  Who kind of helped raise you as well. Cause you were in what, Old Town San Juan? Is that where you kind of grew up then?

• 33:14Speaker 00

  Well, the reality is we lived everywhere in Puerto Rico. So we can't say, I can't say I'm from one spot from Puerto Rico. Cause when you're poor, you don't really have, like stick to one spot, you know, like you move around. Wherever it's easier, cheaper or whatever. So yeah, I lived in pretty much all the big cities in, in, in Puerto Rico.

• 33:31Lewis Howes?

  When did you start to, I guess, navigate the emotions of all the trauma? Cause what I like about you and your story is it seems like you've been able to kind of break this generational trauma and do good in the world.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:43Lewis Howes?

  Whereas a lot of people would just keep traumatizing themselves or doing things that would harm others because they don't have the foundation.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  The reality is in the moments that I did street stuff and all the bad stuff that I did when I was a rebel and all stuff like that. Um, if I ever did something bad, I did bad to bad people.

• 34:04Lewis Howes?

  Ah, yeah.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  You know, I'm not a justific, I'm not, you know, justifying it, but the reality is that, uh,

• 34:12Speaker 00

  I never, I never did anything bad to somebody that, that was a good person. Cause I'm a good person. You know, I've never disrespected any person that, that, that, that was humble or a good person. It was nothing that, you know. So, I'm really proud of myself as a human being, cause I've always been a good human being. Like, the kid that I see is this eight-year-old kid that would help all the ladies, uh, buy their groceries and, and bring their stuff and always smile. That's Nicky. That's my essence. That's just who I am. I'm a humble guy. I've always been like that. I just got crazy and I, and I lost myself, you know? But even in those bad moments, I always saw myself as a good guy.

• 34:49Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 34:51Speaker 00

  Um, yes. I didn't, I didn't have that, uh, mom and dad to take care of me the way, uh,

• 35:00Speaker 00

  they had to. And, and, and yes, that, that could probably, you know, take a toll when it comes to, you know, confronting the world. But at the same time, I appreciate that, cause today, I have so much street smart. And, and it's cause of that. It's cause I'm a survivor, you know? And I learned so much in the streets and, uh, being street smart is something that's very important. You know, I know a lot of people could say, "Oh, why would I want that?"

• 35:29Speaker 00

  You don't want that, you don't know you want that until something happens to you.

• 35:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 35:33Speaker 00

  You know? Until something that you be like, "Well, if I had a little bit of street smart, I probably wouldn't fall into that situation." And thanks for that. I learned not only about bad situation, but I learned how to hustle my way into making business and being smart and just, you know, making things happen. Cause I, I, the street gave me that. The street gave me that knowledge and college doesn't even give you that. You know? I mean, no disrespect to people that go to college, but they should show people in college how to pay taxes and, and stuff like that and how to, you know, be an entrepreneur and, and make money and, and, and, and, and survive in this world. And I feel that it's just, they show you too much stuff that you don't really need in, in, in, in the day-to-day, but that's a whole new conversation.

• 36:18Speaker 00

  We'll talk about that some other day.

• 36:20Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 36:20Speaker 00

  Um, but yeah. I, I, uh, they didn't show, they, I didn't have that foundation, as you say, but at the same time...

• 36:28Lewis Howes?

  The streets gave you that.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  The streets gave me that. They gave me something even bigger.

• 36:31Lewis Howes?

  What about the biggest lesson your dad taught you growing up?

• 36:37Speaker 00

  Be humble.

• 36:38Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 36:39Speaker 00

  Be humble and, and, and my dad is one of the most humblest guys in the world.

• 36:43Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 36:45Speaker 00

  And it hits me hard, you know, cause even in bad situations, my dad was the type of guy that if somebody needed something in their house, or they needed help, or they needed anything, my dad being broke, my dad, you know, being in a bad situation, he will go and he will help them, you know, and that's something that I learned from him, you know, and that's, that's the human being that, I'm sorry, I guess, but that's the human being that I am, you know? It don't matter the money that I make or whatever I have, I'll help anybody.

• 37:17Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 37:17Speaker 00

  That's just the way I am. And, and I learned that from him. He never gave me, uh, advice, you know what I'm saying? He just showed me how it is to be as a human being and, and that's, that's Nikki's essence, you know? I'm a humble guy. I don't know what you saw when I came inside, cause sometimes you don't automatically feel it, but the energy I give people when I go to places, I'm just a cool guy.

• 37:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, love, love.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  It's all love, you know what I'm saying? And, and well, you see, when, when, when, when I came in, when I came in with a big crew, I'm like, and you're like, oh, that's a big crew, like, they're gonna wait in the room, you know what I'm saying?

• 37:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, but, but automatically, automatically, my mentality is, I'm not here thinking I'm a superstar and I'm coming into your house doing whatever I wanna do. I'm, I'm automatically letting you know, don't worry, I'll, I'll, I'll put my people on the side.

• 38:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, I wasn't worried.

• 38:07Speaker 00

  No, but you probably didn't care, but.

• 38:10Lewis Howes?

  For sure.

• 38:10Speaker 00

  But you saw my intentions.

• 38:12Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 38:12Speaker 00

  You saw my, my, my DNA is that. I am not the person that thinks he could do whatever he could do just cause I'm famous.

• 38:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  Or nothing like that. I'm just a humble human being and, and, and my dad showed me that.

• 38:24Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. How do you, I mean, how do you stay humble when you're one of the biggest Latin pop stars in the world? And you have, you know, all, a lot of money, businesses, success, followers, fame, you sell out arenas fifty to a hundred thousand people at a time? How do you stay humble and, and have the essence of little Nikki inside of you at all times when the world adores you?

• 38:48Speaker 00

  I could say, I'll stay humble because it's just part of my DNA. It's just, it's in my blood. I do not, if I have to, if I have to stop being a human being, a good human being, to be a superstar, I'd rather stop being a superstar and be a good human being. You know? It's a... That's cool. There's, there's something in, when Hecto Labor said, in Spanish said is, "Es chévere, es el grande, pero es más grande ser chévere." And the way you could say that in, in English is, it's good to be big, but it's bigger to be good. And that's something that I have in my head, you know? That's always that stuck in my head.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  And I'm the type of guy that when I leave a place, I want people to say, yo, he's a cool guy, bro. I like being with him. I enjoy, but I don't want to be the guy that leaves and be like, oh, he's a [BLEEP]. Right. He's a jerk. I don't want to be that guy. I don't like being that guy. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not happy of being that guy. I don't want to be the guy that comes to a place and brings a bad energy. Or people be like, oh my God. Or people just deals with me because I have the success or the money or the power, or whatever you want to call it, I have. I want to be the guy that you really want to hang out with me. I want people that work for me, admire me and not fear me because of the check. And work because they admire what I'm doing, you know? And you show people

• 40:17Speaker 00

  the blueprint of how you should be. You know, a lot, a lot of people, a lot of, it's not easy. It's not easy, but I, I think what helped me was falling at the same time. And coming from a, coming from the ground, you know? And if you see my background, automatically, you'll realize I was never, I was never a cocky guy. I was always the guy trying to help his sister eat. You know, I would go to Dunkin' Donuts and wait in the back when they throw the donuts away. And I'll pick them up and I'll take them to my sister's, she could eat. I would go pack groceries and make $20 a day. So I could buy ham, cheese, milk, Coca-Cola and cigarettes for my dad.

• 40:58Speaker 00

  I've always been the guy that, you know, helps people and I'll get out of my way. And I know it's easy to say it from the mouth, whoever knows me knows that if I have cash in me, it's not mine, it's everybody's, you know? I'm the type of guy that, there's a guy in the light. And even if he's gonna take drugs, I'll give him a hundred dollars. I don't care, because you'll probably get a heart attack in that sun out, in that light. And I'm probably avoiding that, you know? And I know everybody be like, "Oh, cool, that doesn't make any sense." Well, because it doesn't make any sense because of the world you live. You don't, you don't come from that. I came from that, I understand that situation. My mom came from that, my dad came from that, my uncle died from that. So it's just, you know, it's, it's, it's just who I am.

• 41:38Lewis Howes?

  Right. What about your mom? What do you think is the biggest lesson that she taught you from a memory that you have? Either good or bad, or from her absence for so long? What is something that she taught you to do or not to do? Whether, again, that she, that she said it, or she embodied it, that you witnessed?

• 41:59Speaker 00

  I, I think, I think what I learned about my mom is just to like,

• 42:07Speaker 00

  don't take for granted any, any time. You know, just be with your kids, man. Enjoy your kids the most you can, you know? The better you can. I'm not, I'm not gonna lie here and say I'm Mr. Father of the Year. I am not. I, I, I didn't, I wasn't raised like that. But I'm the type of guy that if my kids need me, they can get me. Anytime they want me. And I'm there for whatever they need. I am not Mr. "What are you doing, daughter, or daughter's dad?" Because I didn't have that.

• 42:36Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 42:36Speaker 00

  I never had that. And my kids, if they see this interview, they know, they're gonna say, "He's real."

• 42:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 00

  I do not, I am not that father.

• 42:44Lewis Howes?

  But if they call you and they get, they get a hold of you.

• 42:46Speaker 00

  Whatever you need, I'll be there in a second.

• 42:49Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  Whatever you need, I'm that type of dad.

• 42:53Speaker 00

  And I'm that type of dad, and I'm not saying that's the best type of dad. That's just, that's the dad that I am. Why? Because of the foundation that I had in my house.

• 43:01Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 43:02Speaker 00

  And I know my mom doesn't live the way she wants to live today. Is not happy the way she should be, just because she was, she wasn't there for me. So I learned that lesson. I'm not saying that, uh, she was, uh, I'm not saying she was bad or good. Because when I learn about her situation and what she went through, I understand it more and I forgive her.

• 43:26Lewis Howes?

  You can have compassion for her.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  100% and hey, forgiveness is not for her, it's for me. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for yourself and that's what I do. You know, I forgive and I'm happy that I do because I live better and I don't care. I have friends that... I have a friend here that I had a problem the other day. I had a problem with him four years ago. I didn't talk to him four years ago. And he's hanging out with me this weekend, this week, here in L.A. And we squashed the beef months ago. And the reason why we squashed the beef was because in my mentality, I don't feel good having problems with people. I just rather fix the problem. I feel better.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  I sleep better and that's just the way I am. I have friends in my life. I will never forgive that guy what he did. You crazy? You know, with that macho mentality. Bro, do whatever you want to do that makes you happy. I'm happy forgiving. I'm happy forgiving people doing bad. I don't care. You know why? Because it makes me a better human being. It makes me get all that weight off my shoulders and live a better day, you know?

• 44:34Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful, man. I've heard you mention a little bit about your faith in God in some interviews, written interviews, but I haven't heard you speak about it. Maybe I just haven't seen them. But when did you start to create a relationship with God? Or what is your faith like today?

• 44:51Speaker 00

  Well, the thing is Puerto Ricans, we very, very Christians. You know, like we believe in God a lot. We have a lot of, you know, we have a lot of faith in God and a lot of people... You know, this world today, a lot of people do not think about God and care about God. I've realized that back in the days. There's a whole bunch of singers, Daddy Yankee, Farroko. They're in church right now and they worshiping God and they giving the word. They spreading God's word around the world and people are making fun of it like it's a joke. I come from everywhere. You couldn't even joke about that. So it's always been for me, God has always been like first for me.

• 45:32Speaker 00

  Even if I don't go to church, I have a very big connection with God.

• 45:37Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 45:38Speaker 00

  I respect God and I know that God exists because I'm living proof. Because I remember that I told God on my knees, I said, "God..."

• 45:47Speaker 00

  There's a whole bunch of talent out there, but none of them got the talent I have. Please, please, help me conquer back my career. And I felt that God told me, "Stop doing drugs, and I'll give you everything back."

• 46:06Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  He didn't give me everything back. He gave me 150,000 more.

• 46:12Speaker 00

  And if you saw where I came from, and the hole that I was, and what I went through, and how my mom was in drugs and prostitution, and my dad was a drug addict, and I was a drug addict, and I was in jail at the same time that my dad was in jail. Because they caught my dad off that case that I told you, the same time I went to jail.

• 46:36Speaker 00

  You can't be in a deeper hole than that. And then doing Hollywood movies, and doing the World Cup, and owning businesses, and having more than five number one hits globally? Come on. You think that's a coincidence?

• 46:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So what was that conversation like? Or do you have a consistent conversation with God?

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. If I tell you I pray I'm alive, I do not pray. I have ADD. And to pray, you really have to have patience.

• 47:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  I just talk to God.

• 47:07Lewis Howes?

  What do you say?

• 47:09Speaker 00

  Everything. I'm like, "God, I know I messed up. I'm sorry. I need your help here. I need you to help me with this. Tell me, just guide me. Tell me what I have to do. I know that I'm messing up." Like, I have a conversation with God, like he's my friend. I don't sit down and pray, because I know there's codes of praying. You can't just sit down and ask for stuff. You have to, first, thank God for what you have. Then, second, you have to ask for other people's petition, what they want. And then, you talk about yourself. That's the right way. That's the Bible way to... I don't have patience for that.

• 47:46Lewis Howes?

  Right, seems to have a conversation.

• 47:47Speaker 00

  And it's not that I'm selfish.

• 47:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  I'm not selfish at all. It's just that I have ADD. Like, I'm really, I'm the type of guy that I could talk... If I talk to somebody and the first minute is not interesting, you're gonna lose me. You're gonna lose me and I'm gonna be zombie with you for a long time. And you're gonna talk, just talk and I'm not really gonna listen. That's just the way I am. I don't know, it's because it could be probably the genius part of me because of the music. Because I'm always thinking about stuff and my mind goes $150,000, $150,000 per hour.

• 48:23Speaker 00

  I said.

• 48:23Lewis Howes?

  You're making $150,000 dollars an hour too.

• 48:26Speaker 00

  I can make that too. I mean, we don't really need that, but.

• 48:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:30Speaker 00

  Reality, the reality of everything is.

• 48:34Lewis Howes?

  So you made a pact with God, it sounds like.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:36Lewis Howes?

  You made a pact, you made a promise.

• 48:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, I made a promise. I ain't saying that I haven't broken my promise a whole bunch of times. I ain't saying that I'm perfect. I ain't saying that I'm not messing up. I still have my skeletons in the closet. I still have my, my, my problems from the past attacking me right now.

• 48:54Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 48:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course, I mean.

• 48:57Lewis Howes?

  They're still coming after you.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  They come back, yeah, they come back. They come back, man, I mean, come on, look.

• 49:02Lewis Howes?

  What does that feel like?

• 49:03Speaker 00

  I saw my mom do crack cocaine. I saw my mom do stuff that people normally don't, don't see. I saw my dad do drugs.

• 49:14Lewis Howes?

  You watched it as a kid.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  I watched it as a kid. I saw people getting killed in my face in Puerto Rico in the hood, like normally, like every kid will see. And as a, and as a teenager, I saw a lot of people die. Best friends, I saw my best friend die in my face, in my face. See, when somebody goes to war, they get PTSD, right?

• 49:36Speaker 00

  And they get treatment for PTSD. The reality is, there's no really treatment for PTSD. Because most of them, they stay messed up, they come from the war. Okay, so what's the difference from a guy that goes to the war? From a kid that sees the war from his house. And sees what's going on in the streets and see his mom going where she goes through and all that. We still have PTSD. Ain't nobody telling us we have PTSD. Ain't nobody studying us. But of course, I saw the traumas that I have. Of the stuff that I seen. So yeah, I could be clean a whole bunch of years, but I ain't saying that sometimes I have my alcohol days when I go crazy.

• 50:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  You know what I'm saying? Like till this day, I smoke weed because I need to deal with the anxiety.

• 50:19Lewis Howes?

  You need a release. You need some calm. Yeah.

• 50:20Speaker 00

  Because I have a lot of anxiety problems. I've been here standing down and you can see I move my leg. I can't stop moving my leg.

• 50:26Lewis Howes?

  I used to be like that a lot, just constantly shaking my knees, constantly anxiety.

• 50:29Speaker 00

  I always do that.

• 50:30Lewis Howes?

  Trauma. Yeah.

• 50:31Speaker 00

  I always do that. I be, I move 24 hours, 24 hours a day. I can't stop. I have my, my girl says I have a motor up my.

• 50:39Lewis Howes?

  Have you ever looked into ways to heal the trauma emotionally?

• 50:45Speaker 00

  Well, I thought telling my story was going to help me in Netflix and it helped me a little bit. But you still have those problems, you know? I don't think you'd ever heal it completely. I think you get better.

• 50:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I've been on a really like a 12-year healing journey.

• 51:03Speaker 00

  You been?

• 51:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. I was sexually abused by a man when I was a kid when I was five.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  I went through that too.

• 51:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. You know, my brother was in prison. It wasn't like you, but it was, it was watching a hero of mine get a jail.

• 51:16Speaker 00

  That's not easy.

• 51:16Lewis Howes?

  And being there and you know, the trauma of that, just parents going through stuff, all that thing, all those things. We all have our own levels of trauma. I'm not comparing mine to yours or anything like that. It still affects you.

• 51:28Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no, no, no. This is something that I tell people. A lot of people tell me that, no, well, you know, after everything you went through, bro. I know people that their parents got divorced. They're more affected.

• 51:42Lewis Howes?

  Than what you saw.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  Than what I've been through.

• 51:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  So I can't, I can't say your trauma is less than mine.

• 51:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  No. I mean, bro, not everybody's, everybody's built differently.

• 51:52Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. But about 12 years ago, I started opening up about the sexual trauma and I started.

• 51:59Lewis Howes?

  Reintegrating a relationship with my younger self. You know, you have little Nikki, I've got little Louis. And I started having conversations with him, as kind of weird as that sounds. I started to build a relationship with the parts of me that were wounded and scared and insecure and traumatized for years. And said, listen, as an adult, I'm going to be here for you. I'm going to give you that compassion, that grace, that love, and I'm going to protect you. Like, I've got you now. And I started to do that work, but opening up about it. For 25 years, no one knew that I was sexually abused. Because I was so afraid and ashamed.

• 52:35Speaker 00

  Nobody, no man wants to talk about that.

• 52:37Lewis Howes?

  No, no one talks about it. But it started opening my heart more. I lived with so much anger and frustration and just wanted to dominate and just win at all costs. And I never wanted anyone to hurt me again. And so that mask would come out in different scenarios. But as I started to heal that, it took many years and it's still a journey. I started to feel a sense of harmony and peace that I'd never had in my life. I never felt peace inside, just always on edge. Like, who's trying to get something from me? Who do I need to please? Constantly, and constantly shaking my knees all day long. Constantly on edge, like, where's the attack?

• 53:11Speaker 00

  I still do that.

• 53:12Lewis Howes?

  Where's the attack? Even if I'm on my couch, where's the attack? Where's the tiger coming at me, right?

• 53:18Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 53:19Lewis Howes?

  And you opening up about it, it sounds like it started to support you. You know, you did the Netflix thing, started to support you. It's been a journey for me, and I'm 12 years in. In the last four years, I've really dug deeper into having a coach support me healing all the different relationship dynamics.

• 53:35Speaker 00

  You're saying 12 years?

• 53:37Lewis Howes?

  12 years of healing.

• 53:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

• 53:39Lewis Howes?

  It's a journey. Like you said, it's not like, oh, I talked about it, I'm healed.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  I did my Netflix, I did my Netflix thing in 2018. I still got so much to go, but people want to understand that.

• 53:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, but I've realized you can't just talk about it a little bit. And it's not about rehashing the past and talking about it, but it's about integrating. The vision and the version of you that you want to start living today. And mending and healing the past in the process. And when we can integrate the vision from the past to the present. We create harmonious freedom. And it's, it doesn't mean every day I'm like perfectly feeling peaceful. But it's a consistent practice, just like the conversation you have with God on a consistent basis.

• 54:20Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 54:21Lewis Howes?

  It's a consistent conversation with self, higher self, God. And creating that forgiveness process like you talked about. So I really acknowledge you Nikki for, for starting to open up about it because I know it's extremely hard to talk about. And I know, no one's got to understand but you, what you've been through.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:38Lewis Howes?

  Some people can relate, but no one's got to understand fully the traumas that you've had.

• 54:42Speaker 00

  Hundred percent.

• 54:43Lewis Howes?

  And I acknowledge you for, you know, it's the amount of pressure and the weight that you've probably had to carry from the past skeletons and things you're still carrying. Things you're still carrying that you haven't told anyone and maybe you never will.

• 54:57Speaker 00

  Every day.

• 54:57Lewis Howes?

  While also trying to be an artist and be on stage and, you know, be of service to your team and your family and your friends and your communities. The pressure and the weight. I acknowledge you for being in the process of the journey. I know it's not perfect. I know you make mistakes. I know you're, you know, you've got stuff.

• 55:17Speaker 00

  I make them every day. I'm gonna make them tomorrow too.

• 55:19Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. But the, the journey you're on, I think is beautiful. And I don't think a lot of people in your position, specifically in the Latin communities. Open up and talk about this stuff.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  No, no, no. Especially, especially the, uh, what you were saying about sexually abuse. Those are things that, uh, people from my music industry.

• 55:39Lewis Howes?

  And you want to talk about that.

• 55:40Speaker 00

  Being a thug and a rapper and. You know, people don't, they don't open up about stuff like that. So, but I've, I've, I've always been known as the guy that just talks about everything. And I use everybody as therapy. I'm using you as therapy right now. I use, um, my friends when I play basketball after I finish and I tell them all my problems. And, uh, they sit down and I tell them in a funny way, but at the same time I'm releasing. So that's why, you know, I, I, I, uh, I make it through. I make it through the days and, you know, I have these days where I have anxiety and I, and a lot of things go and, you know, depression and stuff like that.

• 56:21Speaker 00

  And I have sixteen days where I'm just smiling and laughing and having fun. So. Hey man, it's better, it gets better and better. I am not here saying, oh, I live a sad life. No, I live a beautiful life. I'm happy. I have beautiful kids, beautiful friends, beautiful girl. And, um, and I enjoy life, you know, I enjoy life to the fullest. But I have my black moments too, dark moments too. And I just, you know, that's, that's being a human being. That's just what it is. But, you know, my past hasn't been easy. So I deal with a little bit more, you know, I deal with a little bit more. Hey, hey, hey, there's some people that have been worse than me, you know, there's people having worse than me and they still living, you know?

• 57:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 00

  Some people can't eat. Some people don't have legs. Some people don't have arms. Some people don't have, uh, they lost their parents. Some people that's...

• 57:11Speaker 00

  This guy said, this guy was sad. Well, there's this saying about this guy that was sad because he didn't have any shoes. And then he saw the guy that didn't have feet. Then it's like, you know, it's like you say, like you always, there's always somebody that lives a worse situation than you. So be grateful. Be grateful what you got.

• 57:34Lewis Howes?

  I mean, you've seen extreme poverty of, you know, my fiance was telling you, she's from Mexico. I visit, I visit Mexico City a lot. And even in the nicest parts of Mexico City.

• 57:43Speaker 00

  You'll see it.

• 57:45Lewis Howes?

  You know, I'm always reminded when I see a seven-year-old girl walking up, just trying to get five pesos to sell a little bit of gum. And just day by day.

• 57:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, I see that in Colombia too.

• 57:56Lewis Howes?

  For her parents, Puerto Rico, everywhere. I mean, in LA too, there's homeless people everywhere. It's like there are people and there are kids that don't have much. And we are blessed, even with the problems, the challenges, the traumas that we've experienced. We are blessed. And there's a lot to be grateful for.

• 58:11Speaker 00

  We are, we are.

• 58:12Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, do you, um, do you ever think about, do you ever visualize and, and think about what you want to manifest in the future? Do you, do you put thoughts out in the universe and the world and say, I want to manifest this? I want to create this. And do you ever look at the world that way? Or is it more of, I'm just speaking to God and I'm going after my goals, but you're not visualizing as much?

• 58:34Speaker 00

  Uh, I don't really have a goal as how I want people to see me. I know the reality is that people gonna value me way more when I'm not in this world. And I know that's just the way it is.

• 58:47Lewis Howes?

  They'll value you more when you're gone?

• 58:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:49Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think that is?

• 58:50Speaker 00

  It's just the way it is. Especially with artists and people that's done what I've done and been living where I live. And I know, because I know this for a fact, because I've seen a whole bunch of rappers that haven't even done one little part of what I've done. And they die, and then everybody...

• 59:07Lewis Howes?

  Then they're relevant.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  Then they're relevant. And I'm not saying I'm not relevant.

• 59:11Lewis Howes?

  But you're massive though.

• 59:11Speaker 00

  I'm talking about, but it's not about being relevant.

• 59:13Lewis Howes?

  But your impact is huge right now.

• 59:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, but it's not about that. It's about the message of your life.

• 59:23Speaker 00

  Getting to people. People really valuing what you've done in life and what you've been through in life. People do it because of the Netflix thing and stuff like that, because I was smart enough to like do it now instead of wait for somebody to do it when I wasn't alive. But the reality is that's just the way it is. I know for a fact it's the way it is. I'm telling you, when people see everything I went through my whole life and I'm not here, people are gonna...

• 59:59Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:01Lewis Howes?

  But I feel like people, you know, see you, respect you.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  I think, I think, I think it's gonna be way more. I think it's gonna be way more. And I don't see that people do not respect me. They do respect me, they love me, they have way respect for me and love. And I have loyal fans, and I'm very grateful for everybody and grateful for the fans and everything. But I know for a fact that that's just the way it is. It's just crazy. Life is crazy.

• 1:00:26Lewis Howes?

  I mean, you have a new album that kind of talks about some of this, some through lines through some of this. Can you share what this is about and what you're excited about?

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  Well, the album is called Insomnia.

• 1:00:38Lewis Howes?

  Insomnia.

• 1:00:38Speaker 00

  Well, in Spanish is insomniac.

• 1:00:42Speaker 00

  It's talking about everything, this album talks about everything I've been through these last two years. You know, I went through, I've been through a lot these last two years. Alcohol.

• 1:00:54Speaker 00

  A lot of partying. A lot of problems with my, uh, relationships and stuff like that. And I, I have a problem with insomnia. I, I don't sleep a lot.

• 1:01:05Lewis Howes?

  You don't sleep much.

• 1:01:05Speaker 00

  I don't sleep much. And when I listened to this album, I put together the album and I listened to every lyrics, every lyric and everything that I did to this album, I realized

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  I need to put a name that reflects this. And automatically I was in the plane and I said, insomniac.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Every song is at night. Every song talks about 3am this.

• 1:01:30Speaker 00

  I haven't slept because of this, or

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  I'm in my cyber truck at 5 o'clock in the morning, or

• 1:01:39Speaker 00

  you know, like every song has, takes, even the nice songs that has an upbeat type of vibe takes place at early dawn, you know what I'm saying? So automatically in my mind, I said, insomniac. So I have this new song coming out called Insomniac. It's like a merengue type of vibe, an urban merengue. It's really insane. It's a, you're gonna love this song. It's really crazy. It's a sad song, but it's an upbeat song.

• 1:02:09Lewis Howes?

  Insomniac.

• 1:02:10Speaker 00

  Insomniac. So when you listen to the song, you don't even realize it's a sad song. You're gonna enjoy, enjoy the song, you're gonna dance and you're gonna have fun with the song.

• 1:02:18Lewis Howes?

  But the lyrics are sad.

• 1:02:18Speaker 00

  But the lyrics, what it says is, is, is like a sad song. And that's what Nikki's known of, because I did El Perdón with Enrique Iglesias, and if you listen to that song, it's a really, it's a sad song, but it's an upbeat song.

• 1:02:30Lewis Howes?

  It is.

• 1:02:30Speaker 00

  And so when you listen to a up, if you make a sad song to an upbeat song, that's Nikki's DNA, that's what I do.

• 1:02:36Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 1:02:37Speaker 00

  And it's just.

• 1:02:37Lewis Howes?

  Why do you like doing that, making a sad song to an upbeat vibe?

• 1:02:42Speaker 00

  It's just my, just my way of working. It's just the way I am. I think everybody has their own color, you know? And uh, that's the genius part about my music. You know, if you.

• 1:02:53Lewis Howes?

  Oh, it's very, it's a contrast.

• 1:02:55Speaker 00

  If you pay attention, if you pay attention, if I would, if I would sing this song. Actually, I do these songs in different beats, in slow, sad beats.

• 1:03:05Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:03:06Speaker 00

  And then.

• 1:03:06Lewis Howes?

  And then you'll bring it back.

• 1:03:07Speaker 00

  I make them faster, and then I upbeat, I, I, I make it an upbeat type of vibe, and I make the tempo quicker. And then you'd be like, oh my God, bro, I would have never thought this was a sad song. That's just the way of me working.

• 1:03:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, because when I think of like a sad song, like a Spanish song, like a Mexican Spanish singer, it'd be like, uh, uh, what's the guy's name? The guy who passed away.

• 1:03:29Speaker 00

  Juan Gabriel?

• 1:03:31Lewis Howes?

  In the last couple of years, Fernando, um.

• 1:03:33Speaker 00

  Fernando, Vicente Fernando?

• 1:03:35Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:03:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I mean, he, but he would have these like romantic sad songs.

• 1:03:39Speaker 00

  But even if you have these.

• 1:03:40Lewis Howes?

  Slower, like slower, yeah.

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  You can, you can make that, you can make that happy. It's, it's all about the beat.

• 1:03:46Lewis Howes?

  It is.

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  You know what I'm saying? Because if I tell you, I'm dying. I don't want to live anymore. And then you go, I'm dying. I don't want to live anymore. You, you, you, you forget he's saying that he's dying.

• 1:03:59Lewis Howes?

  Let's go, baby, yeah.

• 1:03:59Speaker 00

  You know what I'm saying? If, if you make this song an upbeat song automatically, you forget it's a sad song. That's just my way. You know what I'm saying? It, the music is, is crazy. You could say even the worst thing, like something like very bad to a girl. But if you say it in an upbeat, and you make it sound nice.

• 1:04:19Lewis Howes?

  She's gonna like it.

• 1:04:19Speaker 00

  Sing it, she's gonna like it.

• 1:04:22Lewis Howes?

  What do you think, if, if you could reflect on all the music that you've written and you sung?

• 1:04:29Lewis Howes?

  Just something that speaks to your heart right now. Maybe this isn't the, the ultimate lyric for you, but what's one sentence or one line in a song that you've written that speaks to your life right now? Whether it be in a new album, your first song, any of the songs you've worked on, what's a, a, a, a sentence within one of your songs that speaks to you right now?

• 1:04:52Speaker 00

  Why you guys always gotta come with these punchlines? He gotta make me think, cuz right now...

• 1:05:00Lewis Howes?

  That's what I like.

• 1:05:01Speaker 00

  A song that represents me right now,

• 1:05:07Speaker 00

  right now, has to be Insomnia.

• 1:05:10Lewis Howes?

  What's a line within the song that speaks to you?

• 1:05:24Lewis Howes?

  Then translate that in English.

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  I used to hate alcohol. Now I don't stop drinking. I do it to hide the pain that you can't see at simple eye.

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  The reason why I did these lines is cuz there's been a lot of controversy about me drinking and hanging out and partying and stuff like that. After me stopping drugs 10 years before and people thinking that... Cuz, you know, people don't understand, my drug problem was not alcohol, was perks and cocaine and stuff like that. So, yeah, that sentence right there.

• 1:06:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow. There's a... I love this, I can't remember if it was, I think it was the Oscars acceptance speech from Matthew McConaughey, when he won the Oscars years ago. He talked about his hero that he was chasing, which is himself 10 years in the future. He was like, "I'm always chasing my hero, who is me, 10 years in the future."

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, I heard that one.

• 1:06:25Lewis Howes?

  And I really like that concept of kind of imagining your future self and what does your future self look like? If you could see yourself 10 years from now, Nikki in 10 years,

• 1:06:36Lewis Howes?

  and it could be the ultimate version of you, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, you know, lyrically, musically, financially, whatever it is, relationally, what do you see for yourself as that person in 10 years that you would love to be able to get to?

• 1:06:53Speaker 00

  I would like to really...

• 1:06:58Speaker 00

  I can say

• 1:07:01Speaker 00

  just be behind the scenes and work with new singers, you know.

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  I enjoy the music industry. I enjoy the creative part. I would love to be the guy that, you know, I already have some artists and stuff like that, but I want to like really focus into that and, you know, just always be in the music scene, you know. I just like music. It's my life. It's my passion. So just to be like a manager, producer and, you know, create

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  and have, being part of one of the biggest singers in the world in that moment and 10 years from now, for me, that's awesome, you know, because it's just something that I want. Apart from that, I just want peace. I want peace. I want to live okay. I want to have health. I want to be happy and nobody's 100% happy, but at least anything close to 100%.

• 1:07:54Lewis Howes?

  80, 90%. What do you think would allow you to create more peace in your life?

• 1:08:02Speaker 00

  Allow me to have more peace in my life?

• 1:08:09Lewis Howes?

  It's called the school of greatness, not the school of average, Nicky. So that's why I'm bringing these questions for you.

• 1:08:14Speaker 00

  The thing is, you really want that answer. That answer is really, this is a strong answer. To be honest with you, I have to retire.

• 1:08:22Lewis Howes?

  Really? From music?

• 1:08:24Speaker 00

  There's no peace. There's no peace in the music industry.

• 1:08:27Lewis Howes?

  Being on the road, constantly creating hits.

• 1:08:29Speaker 00

  There's no peace.

• 1:08:30Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:08:31Speaker 00

  I have to retire. I'm not doing it now, though.

• 1:08:34Lewis Howes?

  Right. You're in your prime.

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  I don't need that peace right now. I need the other peace right now. Nah, but I ain't retiring right now, but I know retiring and just relaxing and enjoying life and not worrying about making more money and making more money and making businesses and stuff like that. There's no peace in there.

• 1:08:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:53Speaker 00

  Peace is not caring about anything anymore. Okay, analyze this. Who has peace? Old people. They're 60, 70 years old. They don't care about nothing.

• 1:09:06Lewis Howes?

  They let go of their possessions.

• 1:09:08Speaker 00

  You're stressing about stuff. I know you are. I don't know what it is, but you probably stressing about stuff. I'm stressing about stuff.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Ninety percent of the people in this in this room outside are stressing about stuff. I don't think old people have that situation.

• 1:09:24Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:09:25Speaker 00

  You know why? They retired.

• 1:09:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  They chilling. They relaxing.

• 1:09:29Lewis Howes?

  They might have regrets, but they're not stressing about all this stuff.

• 1:09:31Speaker 00

  But you're not gonna you're not gonna have peace when you're grinding. There's no when you're hustling. There's no peace. There's gonna be a little bit of happiness, but there's no peace. That's a lie, bro. There's no way you can have peace because you're always trying to get something more. And then how come you have peace when you're stressing about getting more and more? You know? So that answer that I'm giving you, I know it's not the one people want to hear. But that's just Nikki.

• 1:10:00Lewis Howes?

  That's where you're at, yeah.

• 1:10:01Speaker 00

  I'm an honest guy.

• 1:10:01Lewis Howes?

  For sure. I've got a few more questions for you, Nikki. This has been awesome. I'm really grateful for your time. And before I ask them, I want to make sure people check out Insomniot. Right? So Insomniot, I want to make sure they check out the new album. You've got a lot of content on social media everywhere. So people can follow you on Instagram. I don't know if that's the main place.

• 1:10:21Speaker 00

  Nicky Jam on Nicky Jam. Instagram is Nicky Jam, yeah. TikTok is Nicky Jam.

• 1:10:25Lewis Howes?

  Everywhere you're at. So follow you, check out your stuff. You're on tour right now also? You're doing shows?

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  I'm gonna start, yeah. I'm doing shows, but I'm gonna start doing my tour, the US tour soon.

• 1:10:34Lewis Howes?

  And so people can go where can they go to get tickets for the tour as well? Or the shows that you're doing right now?

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  They go to NikkiJam.com and they'll see, they'll find everything.

• 1:10:42Lewis Howes?

  Everything, okay, cool. How else can we be of service and support for you today? Before I get into the last final questions.

• 1:10:49Speaker 00

  Um, nah, man. I'm just, just being here and, and, you know, making this interview and having people listening to what we talk about and, and, and really thinking about what I'm saying and taking it as a constructive way. I'm cool with that.

• 1:11:04Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful, man. What do you think would be the biggest fear that you'll face? Either now or in the future? As you're trying to continue over these next 10 years within your career and, and building what you're building? Do you have any fears in the process?

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  The fear I have is to having a

• 1:11:23Speaker 00

  Not having health, you know?

• 1:11:24Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:11:25Speaker 00

  It's the only thing that scares me. I mean, everything else I'm not really scared about, you know? It's not having health. Health is everything.

• 1:11:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  If you have health, you can be poor. If you have health, you can be rich. If you got health, you can deal with any situation. Health is everything.

• 1:11:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Speaker 00

  That's all I want. I want to have my connection with God and have health, the best health I could have.

• 1:11:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:48Speaker 00

  Sometimes I don't, sometimes I don't do things right for my health to be okay, but hey, we're human beings. You know, we're learning every day.

• 1:11:56Lewis Howes?

  I've heard many times from different people that health is wealth and inner peace is the new rich.

• 1:12:01Speaker 00

  Yes, sir. I agree with that 100%.

• 1:12:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:06Lewis Howes?

  There's a question I ask everyone towards the end. It's called the three truths question. It's a hypothetical question and a scenario. So I'd like you to imagine for a moment.

• 1:12:14Speaker 00

  Do I need to have a huge IQ to?

• 1:12:16Lewis Howes?

  No, no, no, no. You just need to have an imagination. And I'd like for you to imagine, Nikki, that you get to live as long as you want in this world.

• 1:12:24Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:12:25Lewis Howes?

  And you get to accomplish and create everything, anything financially, physically, you know, businesses, you're managing the biggest artists, whatever you want to do, it all happens. But for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth, many years away. And in this last day, you have to take everything with you that you've created. This conversation, all your music is gone. Anything you ever make, for whatever reason, it's hypothetical scenario, it's gone. Let's just hypothetically. And on the last day, you get to leave behind your three lessons. Everything you've learned from your life, from all the music you've created and all the work and the health and the problems and things you've overcome.

• 1:13:07Lewis Howes?

  You get to share only three things, and that's all we have within your content to remember you. Let's just hypothetically. What would you say would be those three lessons you would share with the world? I like to call it the three truths. What would those be that you think?

• 1:13:22Speaker 00

  Three lessons that I would like to leave the world?

• 1:13:25Lewis Howes?

  Share with the world, yeah.

• 1:13:26Speaker 00

  Before I leave?

• 1:13:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and that's all they would have to, you know, they wouldn't have your music anymore.

• 1:13:30Speaker 00

  They could be words?

• 1:13:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, any words or lessons, or they could be lyrics, they could be... That you think if this is all you can leave behind, what would be those three lessons for people?

• 1:13:42Speaker 00

  I would love to leave behind...

• 1:13:46Speaker 00

  All the funny moments in my life.

• 1:13:51Speaker 00

  Cause it shows people how to smile always and enjoy life no matter what. That's one of the things.

• 1:14:01Speaker 00

  You said I can't include music?

• 1:14:03Lewis Howes?

  All your content is gone, but you get to share, you know, a lesson.

• 1:14:06Speaker 00

  I would like to share.

• 1:14:10Speaker 00

  My.

• 1:14:13Speaker 00

  Traumas.

• 1:14:14Lewis Howes?

  Damn.

• 1:14:15Speaker 00

  And how I surpassed them in many ways. That's one of the, that's the second one.

• 1:14:24Speaker 00

  And.

• 1:14:32Speaker 00

  I would say.

• 1:14:36Speaker 00

  I would like to share.

• 1:14:42Speaker 00

  My humbleness.

• 1:14:48Speaker 00

  The human part of me that makes, that makes my essence.

• 1:14:51Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. I've got one final question, Nikki, before I do, I want to acknowledge you for a moment. I want to acknowledge you for.

• 1:15:02Lewis Howes?

  The evolution of you. Again, this is the first time we've met. I've only seen your stuff online. I see the, the, the creative genius in you through your music and your work and your content. This is the first time we've met and I've heard good things about you from other people that I know who know you. And I would acknowledge you for. Being here today through all the traumas and the troubles you've been through. I want to acknowledge you for taking care of little Nikki inside of you. And I know it's a, a beginning journey that you're going on with, with being there for him and all the stuff that he was neglected. And I want to acknowledge you for. Being honest and open with people in this conversation, but in everything you do.

• 1:15:43Lewis Howes?

  Because I think people look at you and they look at people like you. And think that you don't have any problems because you're famous, you're successful, you've got money and everyone wants that. But there's a lot of complexities behind the scenes within you. And I just want to acknowledge you for being on the journey and acknowledging your humanity, your imperfections and the things you're working on. And my hope for you, if you don't mind me speaking into it, is that you do find peace in the process. And you don't have to wait till you retire. My hope for you is that in your conversations with God, you find a deeper sense of peace.

• 1:16:20Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:16:21Lewis Howes?

  And a deeper sense of love. And you heal everything that you need to heal, because I believe when you keep doing that with yourself, you're going to transform the world in a bigger way that you're not even, you're not even scratching the surface on how you're able to transform the world and help heal others through your art and your music when you continue to do that for you. So take or leave that. I just wanted to acknowledge you for the journey and I see incredible things in you for the future, so.

• 1:16:49Speaker 00

  Amen.

• 1:16:50Lewis Howes?

  If I can support, hopefully I can come watch a show one day and.

• 1:16:52Speaker 00

  You can, of course. I can't wait.

• 1:16:54Lewis Howes?

  Bring my lady and we'll have some fun. But I have my, my final question, Nikki, what is your definition of greatness?

• 1:17:02Speaker 00

  Greatness is humbleness. Greatness is falling, losing everything. And getting up, cleaning your shoulders and get it back again. Greatness is smiling even if you have the worst moments in life. Greatness is helping other people. And having fun while you're doing it and smiling while you're doing it. Greatness is being wrong. And then realizing that.

• 1:17:46Lewis Howes?

  You could be wrong.

• 1:17:49Lewis Howes?

  And then make it right.

• 1:17:52Lewis Howes?

  That's for me, that's, that's, that's what I think greatness is.

• 1:17:57Lewis Howes?

  I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter

• 1:18:40Lewis Howes?

  and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.