I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Melissa Wood-Tepperberg shares the moment she found herself on her bathroom floor, looking in the mirror with tears streaming down her face, saying "I hate you" to her own reflection after years of binge drinking, bulimia, and drug experimentation. She opens up about growing up in poverty with four sisters, learning at age seven to manage household chaos, and how that early survival mode shaped decades of self-destructive patterns masked by perfection. You'll hear how she finally found peace through a practice that became her anchor, allowing her to finally see herself clearly and build a wellness platform that now serves millions, all while navigating the tension between growth and staying true to what feels aligned. The conversation dives into why the fastest way out of suffering is serving others, how to recognize when you're creating chaos because safety feels unfamiliar, and why Melissa is currently stripping away new masks as she steps into motivational speaking. She offers raw honesty about still waking up with dark thoughts after years of healing work, and how she's learned to get herself out quickly by staying connected to source. Follow Melissa on InstagramMelissaWoodHealth.comIn this episode you will:Understand why serving others is the fastest way out of your own suffering, and how coaching people for free became Melissa's pathway to alivenessBreak free from waiting for motivation by building consistent daily habits that work even when you don't feel inspired to do themDiscover the single practice that allowed Melissa to see herself clearly for the first time and opened every door in her lifeLearn how to recognize when you're creating chaos to avoid the unfamiliarity of peace, and why harmony can feel more dangerous than dysfunctionMaster the art of listening to your gut over other people's advice, even when those people are wildly successful and seem to know better than youFor more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1874For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Lewis Howes [SOLO]Dr. Marc BrackettJosh Groban Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Melissa Wood Tepperberg in the house. So good to see you.

• 0:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I'm so happy to be here.

• 0:09Lewis Howes?

  Very excited. We connected months ago. Super Bowl. Is that what it was? Super Bowl party?

• 0:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Was it Super Bowl or F1? It was Super Bowl.

• 0:15Lewis Howes?

  Super Bowl. Gary Vaynerchuk was hosting a little gathering. We met there. But I'd obviously seen your work online for the last few years, as you've continued to just soar with your content, with your message, and how you're inspiring and impacting millions of people around the world, mostly, assuming mostly women who kind of follow your content and who are really inspired by you. A lot of the women on my team are just like, Melissa, she's so amazing and what she's doing. And so it's been cool to watch your rise, but I know that, you know, you grew up very dysfunctional, similar to me. You struggled in school and kind of cheated your way through school, similar to me,

• 0:52Lewis Howes?

  and just didn't feel like you were enough. And so therefore, you know, similar to me, you wore masks, you projected like a sense of everything's, got everything put together and everything's got to look perfect and can't show people the real traumas underneath you. And you wore those masks for a long time to protect yourself, to fit in, to belong, to get ahead, whatever it might be, to survive.

• 1:18Lewis Howes?

  But when did those masks start falling off for you? When did you really start to feel like, oh, I'm in a dark place the longer and longer I hold on to this perfect image when underneath I don't feel perfect at all?

• 1:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Well, interestingly enough, I feel like I'm in this place in my life where I'm like ripping off a new mask.

• 1:40Lewis Howes?

  Right now?

• 1:41Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Right now.

• 1:41Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:42Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes. And honestly, like in this very moment, because as you overcome or continue to work through, right? Because I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas. And that's kind of my biggest awakening today is like even after all the work, it's like, and I love the work. I fucking love the process. I've learned to be in the process, but I'm just discovering new things and new wounds have come to the surface. And I think when you get to a place of where you are really elevating.

• 2:22Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And you're shifting into a different gear. Like, it's amazing what kind of shows its face to like knock you down in a sense. And almost like I think about it's like, how bad do I really want? How bad do I really want to continue this quest of becoming? And I grew up in a very dysfunctional upbringing. I have four sisters. My baby brother was born when I was 15. My dad remarried. But it was just this endless cycle of survival and doing anything that you can to, you know, for me, I'm the middle child of the five.

• 3:07Lewis Howes?

  And I'm assuming it wasn't like survival, like we don't have food and shelter survival, but emotional survival.

• 3:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Emotional survival. And we did grow up very poor. So it was scarcity mindset. And, you know, my mom worked so many jobs. My dad worked so many jobs. And it was like, no matter what, there was never really enough. So.

• 3:29Lewis Howes?

  And money, it was always like a stress around money, probably.

• 3:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Always, always a stress around money. And I was very observant to that. I was so aware of how our surroundings made my mom feel. And I knew since the age of seven that I could help or I could ease some stress. And for me, that was like stepping in like the household and cleaning, like doing all the chores, helping my sisters with their homework. Even like, I made this, I had, we had this chalkboard and I would like make a list of all the things that we had to do.

• 4:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  My sisters despised me growing up because I was super bossy. And I just felt like someone had to step in. And I just like, I remember that feeling at such a young age. And I think when you embody that energy, it's so wildly disruptive for your nervous system. And when you're in it, like when I was living in Syracuse, I just like, I did all the things that I could to just like push it down. And.

• 4:49Lewis Howes?

  What things?

• 4:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Well, I was embarrassed that, you know, we didn't have a lot of money. When we would go, like, when we would get clothes for school, it was like, we got one outfit. And then, you know, I would be the one curating the look so that my sisters and I could swap looks so that it looked like we had more money.

• 5:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, more clothes. And the emotional stuff, you know, when your parents aren't showing up for... Like, I remember this, oh, my God, so vividly. I was in second grade and it was like Parents' Day. And the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" was on.

• 5:34Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:35Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And we were going around in a circle and every kid had their parent. And I just like, I remember being alone and just like not having my parents show up. And I was so embarrassed, but I was so hurt and I wanted to cry. But I wouldn't because I didn't want other people to see. And, you know, I always tried to make like, oh, yeah, no, no. My mom couldn't come and I don't even know if my mom remembered. But I remember the teacher holding my hand and like walking around with me and like just trying. And those things for me, it was like, it was constantly those types of things. Or, you know, at a softball game and your parents not showing up or forgetting to pick you up.

• 6:19Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And just, you know, they had a lot of kids and a lot of responsibility. But it's when you're a child, it deeply affects you.

• 6:30Lewis Howes?

  Isn't it fascinating that you're still remember that today? And it's like, these memories we keep with us. And, you know, you're a parent now. I'm not a parent yet, but I can only imagine, like, I'm sure you try to show up to everything you can. You try to be there for them, everything you can. But then there might be some amazing business opportunity where you're like, oh, do I go do this thing? And then have the babysitter or the nanny make sure they take them to school that day. But then is that the thing they're going to remember when they're 40? And like, is that their trauma? Going to be like, everyone else's parents were there and mine didn't show up because she had a business meeting or whatever. It's like, we, you probably can't win as a parent, no matter how hard you try.

• 7:08Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 7:08Lewis Howes?

  There's going to be some wound or some memory because at seven, eight, 10 years old, you don't have a lot of life. And that's like such a big moment for your life. It's such a pressure for a parent, I bet.

• 7:21Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It is. And, and I think as I've become a parent, I am, oh my gosh. I'm, it like changed my relationship with my parents and then sometimes that changes again. But it's, it helps you to really understand how freaking hard it is.

• 7:40Lewis Howes?

  And have compassion for your parents. Yeah.

• 7:42Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And like, they didn't have the, they didn't, and even just like, I think of the mindfulness movement. I'm like, I don't think those conversations were.

• 7:51Lewis Howes?

  They didn't have time in survival mode. You don't have time to be mindful.

• 7:55Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No.

• 7:55Lewis Howes?

  You, you're just, what do I need to do right now to survive emotionally? You know, and, and maybe financially or physically or whatever, you might, you're in survival. You don't have the time to say, let me breathe, let my nervous system relax. We don't have that privilege in survival mode. And even if you have financial stability, but your parents are emotionally up and down constantly, you're still going to feel like you're in survival mode emotionally. Is it safe to be in this home? And that's kind of how I felt. It was like every week there was slamming or screaming or just dis-ease within my parents, you know, I knew that they loved us, but they didn't love each other.

• 8:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, same.

• 8:32Lewis Howes?

  And they tried, but it was just constant friction where you're just like, what's going to happen today when I come home from school? I don't know.

• 8:39Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah. Oh, I, I rode the same bus.

• 8:42Lewis Howes?

  It's traumatic, right?

• 8:43Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's so traumatic.

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  Very traumatic. So, and you mentioned in the beginning about how, you know, healing and inner growth is a, is a lifelong journey.

• 8:54Lewis Howes?

  And it sounds like, I don't want to assume, but it sounds like around 10 years ago, when you were starting your business, you were kind of in early phases of a healing journey for yourself. Is that accurate somewhere around there? You like started to uncover things and unmask things within yourself. And you went down more of a spiritual holistic path, right?

• 9:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes, I, I would say it was a little bit longer than that. More of like, almost like 17, 15 years of that. But, you know, moving to New York, so I like moved to, it was like the first time I came here, I was like, oh, oh, I still feel that way every day, every day.

• 9:36Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing.

• 9:37Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I've been here for 18 years and I still get this like.

• 9:41Lewis Howes?

  It's epic. When you walk outside and you're in the streets and just the energy.

• 9:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I love it.

• 9:45Lewis Howes?

  It's incredible.

• 9:45Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It can support or swallow you, though.

• 9:47Lewis Howes?

  And it sounds like it swallowed you the first few years.

• 9:49Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God, I was swallowed and then spit back up. Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

• 9:56Lewis Howes?

  What did you get caught up in in the first few years of being in New York that really messed you up?

• 10:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Well, I moved here. I drove a U-Haul here with a friend and.

• 10:07Lewis Howes?

  Where'd you move to in the city?

• 10:09Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  This teeny tiny little apartment on the Upper East Side. Sixty first and first.

• 10:14Lewis Howes?

  But still living the dream. You're like, I'm in the city.

• 10:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, yeah, no, I thought. But at first, like, we didn't have an apartment. I was sleeping on someone's couch. It was like a whole process. I didn't even have a bed. I had a mattress on the floor. It was without a, it was like half the size of this.

• 10:28Lewis Howes?

  Living like a 22 year old, you know, living the dream. You don't need much.

• 10:32Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I, I didn't. And I still like, I'm just like, how did I do it? So whenever I start to question my ability for anything, I'm like, girl.

• 10:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 10:42Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You can do anything.

• 10:45Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 10:45Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You know, and it is that constant reminder, because like all the things come in, imposter syndrome and all those limited beliefs. But when I shut that door after moving away from it all and being with myself, honestly, in a sense of peace and quiet somewhat.

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  In New York City.

• 11:04Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  In New York City, right? But like, it was just away from all that chaos. Was the first time I was like, I felt all the waves of it. Like, it was like, definitely a panic attack, I believe, because I think at that time I didn't even really know what anxiety was. But I was like, mm mm, nope, and like shut the door to it. And like, that was my, like, running away. That was the start of running away from myself, running away from all the stuff that came up. And that really, you know, translated to like going out, drinking, drinking late, and then.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  It was numbing yourself.

• 11:47Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Binge eating, numbing.

• 11:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:49Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Numbing.

• 11:50Lewis Howes?

  Were you drinking like every week or every day or?

• 11:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I was definitely drinking a lot on the weekend because I worked at the Chanel counter in Bloomingdale's. So I was like working, you know, really long hours on my feet. So like the nights that I had off, I would go out and I would just like rage. And I was a very different person when I drank. My anger really came out. Oh, yeah.

• 12:14Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So what your anger would come out was in the clubs and you would like scream at people or just nasty girl or what like, what would it be like?

• 12:23Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, like if someone like pissed me off, I would like, I've always been a little quick on the tongue, a little rough around the edges.

• 12:29Lewis Howes?

  You'd step to them. Yeah, yeah.

• 12:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I was just, it was like all my inner pain would come out.

• 12:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 12:37Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And then when all of that started to rise and even like dating guys, like I would get physical sometimes. That was just, you know, things I saw, I was repeating every pattern.

• 12:51Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 12:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And then it was, you know, when I would feel like it was too much and I couldn't face the pain, that was when I started binging like heavily.

• 13:02Lewis Howes?

  Eating.

• 13:03Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Eating. And then I would, you know, I also wanted to model. So it's like eating your face off and then thinking about, well, they want you to lose 15 pounds. So then I started purging. And this was something I did for a handful of years that no one knew about. I was really, really good.

• 13:20Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 13:21Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 13:22Lewis Howes?

  So, I mean.

• 13:23Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Not hiding my pain.

• 13:24Lewis Howes?

  Really? So purging, I mean, throwing up, what is, it's, it's not, it's not comfortable to do.

• 13:30Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:30Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's the worst feeling. You feel better like 10 minutes later.

• 13:33Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's like, my heart hurts thinking about it.

• 13:35Lewis Howes?

  The only, the only time it is good is when you have an upset stomach. But you didn't have an upset stomach. Maybe you're eating too much, but you weren't like sick in the stomach. Like, oh, you had some weird food that you're throwing up. So what is that?

• 13:50Lewis Howes?

  Like psychologically, when you're like, okay, I just ate too much, or I just wanna look skinnier and need to lose weight. But I'm numbing myself by eating because I am protecting myself. I feel ashamed of past, or I feel whatever. I'm anxious, so I'm numbing myself by eating. But now I feel shameful and guilty that I ate, so I need to purge it.

• 14:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's a vicious cycle.

• 14:15Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, it's really, and I felt like I deserved it.

• 14:19Lewis Howes?

  Deserved what?

• 14:19Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Um, to feel that pain.

• 14:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:23Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Because I was like putting myself through that. And then it was like, you need to, it was a lot of like getting rid of the feelings. But I didn't know this at the time. I was just trying to get rid of, you know, what was physically inside of me, but it was so emotionally tied. And through my lowest of lows of going out, and you know, this is when I was binge drinking, and then it was binge eating, and then I started experimenting with some drugs. Thank God it was short-lived.

• 15:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I had my wake me up moment of just feeling complete disgust with myself. Yeah, just, I was so done. I could no longer continue that path.

• 15:18Lewis Howes?

  How old were you now?

• 15:20Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  This was mid twenties. I was like, it was.

• 15:24Lewis Howes?

  You were here for a few years. You were in a cycle of just like shame or beat up and binge eating, binge drinking.

• 15:30Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 15:31Lewis Howes?

  Starting to try a little drugs here and there and being up till five, six AM at nightclubs.

• 15:37Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Sun coming up.

• 15:38Lewis Howes?

  And it was just.

• 15:39Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  On my knees over the toilet, just disgusting. And I mean, I remember, I remember just like getting up, looking in the mirror and being like, I hate you.

• 15:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 15:48Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Like I had so much hate towards myself. And I was just, I just had like tears rolling down my face. And I was like, I don't, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to live like this. I can't live like this because it's going to end badly. I could feel it. And I also knew carrying down that road was like the easy way out. Because I was so good at taking everything down in my path. But like you didn't know it, but like I was like mass destruction was a skill that I could that I had mastered.

• 16:21Lewis Howes?

  Really? But you were looked good on the outside.

• 16:24Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  People are always surprised by this stuff. And that's honestly why I share it. And why I felt I needed to because.

• 16:34Lewis Howes?

  But you were good at hiding it though, right? You were good at being like,

• 16:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Very good.

• 16:37Lewis Howes?

  Okay, it's it's noon the next day. I'm put together.

• 16:39Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:40Lewis Howes?

  Everything's fine. I'm happy.

• 16:41Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes. And then, you know, I that that moment there is when I so vividly saw like these two roads of life.

• 16:55Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 16:56Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Right? In this like gorgeous tree in the middle. And I just so vividly remember this moment. And it was like, you can keep going here and we know where that's going to end up. Or you can you can choose to create this different path for yourself. And it's going to be really hard because it's going to be everything you don't know. But it can it's like the path of like waking you the up. And I just remember I was like, okay, I'm I I want it, but I need help.

• 17:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that was the biggest moment for me because from being a little girl who thought that she could fix every single thing. And like I carried the weight of everyone and my siblings. And I have always been the savior and coming in and trying to do all the things. And, you know, buying my parents the house and like anything that I could do to save everyone. But I was I was just not saving myself. So it was this moment of like giving over and not relying on my own strength for the first time in my freaking life.

• 18:21Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that was like, that was like the the doors opened.

• 18:27Lewis Howes?

  I think we need a tissue. There's a tissue right behind you. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

• 18:32Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 18:34Lewis Howes?

  So you're in your mid twenties. You have, I guess, you know, a darkness that continues for months or years until there's a moment where you're like, okay, there's two roads I can take. I've had a few of those moments in my life. So I know that feeling of having to make a decision.

• 18:51Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 18:51Lewis Howes?

  And, you know, I grew up, when I was eight, my brother went to prison. So every weekend for four and a half years, we would go as a family to visit, you know, during visiting hours. And I saw my life starting to go down that as well. When I was 13, I had to make a decision.

• 19:07Lewis Howes?

  And I remember saying, do I want to end up in prison? You know, because if I keep doing these things, which were not massive at the time, but will build.

• 19:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It builds.

• 19:17Lewis Howes?

  It'll build. And you're going to keep getting in trouble and bad things are going to happen.

• 19:22Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Bad things are going to happen.

• 19:23Lewis Howes?

  Bad things are going to happen. And do I want to live that life and deal with that pain and shame? And I just saw what that will, you know, and I saw all the other convicts in the, and I got to know them and the traumas and the pain that they caused their families from bad decisions. And it was just like, do I want that or not? And I, and so you had this in your mid twenties and you, you knew that you couldn't do it all on your own anymore. And you said, I need support.

• 19:50Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 19:51Lewis Howes?

  So what did you allow yourself to do after that?

• 19:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I called my friend and asked for her therapist's number. I was like, I need help. I need your therapist. And like, that was like the start. But I lied to my, I mean, I like lied to my therapist. I was taking Adderall, you know, I, I like, I did want help, but it is really hard to break the cycle.

• 20:15Lewis Howes?

  Sure. Yeah.

• 20:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And to break the patterns.

• 20:18Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 20:18Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I was lying and she would, she was strong. She was like the mother that I always kind of like needed to anchor me and call me out on me.

• 20:27Lewis Howes?

  Tough love.

• 20:28Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Super tough love. So, you know, I would come in, I'll like Adderall'd out and I was like buying Adderall. It was just, it was like, I got rid of one thing and I was looking for the next.

• 20:38Lewis Howes?

  You said you wanted help, but really inside of you, you're like, eh, I still can do this myself. And I'm not going to give everyone the full picture and.

• 20:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I think I did really want help, but when you are so used to.

• 20:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Attaching yourself to chaotic things to keep moving forward. It like it takes time.

• 21:01Lewis Howes?

  Well, it doesn't feel safe to be in a safe space because you're not.

• 21:05Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No.

• 21:05Lewis Howes?

  You're not familiar with it.

• 21:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Don't even know what that.

• 21:07Lewis Howes?

  So harmony doesn't feel safe.

• 21:10Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Right.

• 21:10Lewis Howes?

  Peace doesn't feel safe.

• 21:11Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No.

• 21:12Lewis Howes?

  Because you're like.

• 21:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  What's gonna happen?

• 21:13Lewis Howes?

  Something's about to happen.

• 21:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 21:15Lewis Howes?

  Where's the chaos?

• 21:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:16Lewis Howes?

  You're always looking for it because you're so used to it. It's familiar. So when safe isn't safe and you don't know how to feel calm in harmony, you're always looking to recreate chaos, whether it be in a relationship or whether it be in your own life or addictions or whatever it might be.

• 21:32Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, and I was very good at if the chaos wasn't there, I will bring it.

• 21:37Lewis Howes?

  Isn't that interesting?

• 21:38Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God, in relationships, things with friends, work like being able to really self reflect and see where you are just a disaster in disguise. Like, it is hard work.

• 21:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:56Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I will be so honest with you today. Like, I still, to this day, wake up and my first thought first from the moment I wake my eyes after doing this work for so many years, goes to a dark place.

• 22:12Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 22:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes, but I now know how to get myself out. And it's just it's I think when it's so embedded in your nervous system, it it's takes so much time to to get yourself out of that place. And I know now, I know when I'm I know when I'm bringing it. I know when I'm being self destructive and I'm definitely so far from that part of me, but she's in there, let me tell you.

• 22:47Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 22:48Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I have great access to her if I need her. But which is also a good thing.

• 22:53Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 22:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Which I've learned to really embrace and love and be like, you are one fiery pistol.

• 22:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:00Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  God knows if we need it, it's there and the access is quick. But I I'm just being honest.

• 23:06Lewis Howes?

  Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You know?

• 23:07Lewis Howes?

  What is the first thought that comes to you on a daily basis when you wake up or on a typical day? Where does that dark thought go to?

• 23:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's like the overwhelm. It's just like, oh, my God, you know, it's just, it's that immediate almost like being on that wheel of anxiety, but I step off now and I'm like, no, no, you know, and this is where I've cultivated this practice and this connection with source and knowing that I can connect at any moment in any time. And that is what helps me see like the light of day. And I, you know, I shared this once on, I was doing a Q and A and I shared this and it was like the most viewed thing I had. And I realized that there is

• 23:59Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  still that part of me, right? That wants to like make things look really pretty with a bow. And of course I've cracked myself open, but there's still so much. And I think that is where I'm at right now today, where I'm like, I am so done just like ripping off these masks and really just being so radically transparent with myself, but also with people who are ready to do it for themselves too. Cause it's not just for me. And I think that's where this work has fueled something in me that I've always known was in there

• 24:37Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  since I was a little girl. But it's, it's this choice every single day, like to this day. It's like I'm choosing, I'm choosing to be devoted to myself.

• 24:51Lewis Howes?

  So when you started, you know, kind of waking up from doing destructive things into creating a more healthy lifestyle for yourself, 15, 17 years ago?

• 25:00Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 25:01Lewis Howes?

  And you went down that journey and, and you started these healthy practices. You said, okay, I'm going to reach out for support. I'm going to find a therapist, even though I'm still lying to my therapist. I'm doing the, the steps though. And I'm like in the work. And then what else did you start doing to develop a healthy practice for yourself?

• 25:19Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 25:20Lewis Howes?

  Were you still nightclubs and, you know, modeling and doing these things that weren't supporting you? Or were you removing yourself as well from environments?

• 25:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So instead of, like for me, instead of focusing on removing one thing that really helped me when I was in it, and still when I feel overwhelmed, it's like, what can I add in to help, like, make me feel just an ounce more at ease? And when my therapist started really calling me out on things, then it was like, okay, I can't even lie to her. Like, I just, I just have to be honest. So it was like, that was, that shtick was old. I couldn't do that anymore. But then I was finding, I was feeling this, like, I need to be told. Like, I need to be told what to do. So I started seeing a health coach. And I remember the first time I walked in and I was like, okay, give me the diet.

• 26:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Like, that, I, I was in that mindset of like, tell me the thing, I'll do it, and then I'll see results. And, you know, I was trying to lose weight because I wanted to be a model. And at this point, I had gotten signed by a top agency, but it was like, I lost like 15 pounds. And I lost 15 pounds. And then it was just this long road of torture.

• 26:40Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:41Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Because I thought that I was very into fitness and very into wellness, but my relationship to myself was still so disconnected that I was looking outside of myself for all of the resources. So I was taking what a trainer would tell me to do. You needed to do 45 minutes of cardio and then 45 minutes to an hour of strength training. And I became psychotic with that. So it was like every day, an hour of this. And I was working out two hours a day, writing down every morsel of food. It was so obsessive.

• 27:15Lewis Howes?

  It's exhausting.

• 27:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It was exhausting. It was unwellness.

• 27:21Lewis Howes?

  Did you feel like you were getting, when you looked in the mirror, were you like, oh, this is working though? Or were you like, I'm still not getting the results I want?

• 27:29Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So when I was in the height of really just, it was like micromanaging every single thing. I did get really, really thin, but it was unhealthy and I just looked, it was painful.

• 27:42Lewis Howes?

  You didn't feel healthy?

• 27:43Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, I didn't feel healthy. And then, plus, when you're suffering from needing disorder, the flip can happen too, where then I started gaining a lot of weight. Yeah, I was like, when I was doing all the crazy workouts, HIIT workouts and running myself into the ground, I was actually at my heaviest.

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 28:05Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes, because it was just, you know, pumping my body with cortisol. I was so stressed out going into workouts, stressed out leaving, and that was like a big moment in my life. I remember so vividly leaving a super popular class with a popular instructor. And there's no shame because things work differently for people. And I think that this is where we need to cultivate these relationships with ourselves and see what really makes you feel in harmony with yourself. And I just remember, I like got off the train, 14th Street, and I was walking and I was like, I feel horrible. How am I paying to feel worse?

• 28:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  What is wrong? And I was just like, I think I'm just, I was just searching. And then I started meditating. I felt this.

• 28:57Lewis Howes?

  How old are you now, roughly?

• 28:59Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So this was, at this point, I, it was like

• 29:08Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  12 years, 15 years ago. I'm 41, you do the math.

• 29:14Lewis Howes?

  Twenty, twenty-six, twenty-seven.

• 29:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Exactly, late twenties. And I've, you know, I still felt this, although I was slowly, it was like becoming more self-aware, like patching things up as I was going. But I felt that I was. I was just out here for all the answers. Tell me and I'll do the thing. And I was covered in cystic acne.

• 29:37Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:37Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I had horrifying cystic pimples all over my face, my neck, down my back. And I did everything. It was like I saw every dermatologist. I did Accutane. It was just, it was awful. And now I realize like that was my, how I internalized my anxiety for so many years. It was coming out in my skin. It was the stress. It with a combination of products I was, I was using and food for sure, environment. But it was my nervous system. Like trying to, to wait to like, you know, bang on my door. And I just felt like, you know what? I, I've gotta go in here.

• 30:17Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Like I, I've, I've gotta like almost, cause I, I think when you are so dysregulated, you don't even know what home and safety is. So there was just this feeling that I felt I needed to, I needed to take all of that and come in here.

• 30:35Lewis Howes?

  So you started meditating?

• 30:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I started meditating. I've meditated every day since.

• 30:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:40Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that's how I'm here. And I can tell you that for a fact. I know that with everything inside of me because it was the thing that helped me see myself for the first time for like who I really was. And not any persona or facade that I had put on. And I was really interested in wellness, but because my relationship with myself was still so dysfunctional. It was the thing that helped me look in the mirror and like find so much like deep love, like true love for, for me and for my skin and loving myself through my acne

• 31:24Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  and not being at my happy weight and.

• 31:28Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It just helped me. It was like, almost like, just like defogging the lens. And everything got like a little bit brighter.

• 31:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow. How much on a scale of one to 10? Before this? What was your self-love scale? 10 being like you really loved yourself from an authentic, conscious place. One being you hated yourself. Like, where were you on that?

• 31:51Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I was probably like a three, four.

• 31:53Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 31:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  The work that I was doing, from like a

• 31:57Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  from like a one, two. So like, I was, and that doesn't sound like progress, but it is.

• 32:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I think that's the thing that I

• 32:06Lewis Howes?

  So you really hated yourself before that?

• 32:08Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I hated myself because of my actions.

• 32:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I wasn't proud.

• 32:14Lewis Howes?

  You were out of like alignment with yourself.

• 32:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Complete. Completely disaligned. And when you can, you know, I was, it was very much focused on the physical. And then once I realized that I could regulate from bringing some calm to my mind, even just a little bit. Wow. Then I started moving differently. And this is when I started understanding like, no wonder why. Like, I don't like, those classes are not working for me because they make me feel really stressed out. And anxious. And they bring out all that stuff that I'm like, really working towards shifting. And then I started blending

• 32:59Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  elements of Pilates and yoga. And it was like, I was just weaving these things together, but it felt like this like inner dance with myself. But it felt good.

• 33:10Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 33:11Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I was not punishing myself for what I ate anymore. And I was just literally in flow. Like, it brought me in this flow state. And at this time, I didn't even have 10,000 followers on Instagram, but I just felt this like, it was like

• 33:29Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I have no idea how, what, where, like, what you're gonna do, but like you have to share this and you have to share this because you have to come back to that seven-year-old little girl who was looking outside the window when your dad drove away when my parents separated. And I felt like this is it. Like, this is unfortunately, like, this is the card that I've been dealt and this is my life. And I think so many people who come from broken situations or even bad marriages feel like this is it. And it's not it. And

• 34:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  you can change the course of your life at any point. Every moment is an opportunity to begin again, to do something different than you did the day before. That just helps you feel so deeply connected to yourself. And, you know, I talk a lot about meditation and movement, and that is how I created a platform. But as I'm at this point in my life today, it's from being so connected to whatever it is you connect to. But to me, it's the Creator. It's, it's this higher power so much greater than me. And like,

• 34:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  when I close my eyes and I meditate and I go in and I like bring the energy to my heart, it's what, it's like, I feel so surrounded and so safe and just reminded that like I am being divinely guided. And we all are. When we can get ourselves to just take a moment. And I, I mean, I did it, I did it in the morning for 20 minutes this morning. Before speaking, I always like to really, really ground. So 20 minutes is like, I love that. However, that doesn't always happen. I am so consistent, but I'm super flexible. You have to be. Because I was crazy with all the things before. And I'm not, I'm not

• 35:35Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  disciplined. I don't even love the word. It doesn't work for my nervous system because it makes me feel like I'm rigid and I had to write things down. I need to track and I need to, how many macros am I, and I'm just like, I don't know, and I don't even care. But when I'm feeling this, where I'm feeling this aliveness and this excitement for, honestly, like, it's so interesting because I feel like I've been there so much, so many deep challenges with work and just all of the things that come with being an entrepreneur. But I am so excited for no reason.

• 36:11Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It feels so good just to be like, show me, like, guide me. And through staying so deeply connected is what has just continued me on this path of like cracking me open. Had me set up that $24 tripod I got on Amazon, setting up my phone. I had no lights, no camera, zero editing. I mean, I literally would, I would press play and I'd be like, hi. And I would go and I'd run back on my mat and then I'd be like, okay, today. And I would just like do the thing that I did myself, but I brought people along with me. And then the more that I started doing it, it was like, people were like, like, can you do that longer? Like, where can I get this clip?

• 36:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And, you know, it was like Instagram stories when that first came to life. And then I just felt this, I was like, I need a home for these humans who want the same thing. We all want it. We all want to be, you know, when I, when I come back to like my why every day, I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves. That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And through sharing it, it was just like, it was crazy. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I was connecting with people all over the world who were like, thank you so much. And they were writing me these letters and I'm sobbing. And at the, you know, at this point, I'm pregnant with my son.

• 37:39Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And also coming to this place of like, I know what it feels like to be brought up in a disconnected home and I like wanting to be so connected to it all, whether it was a little chaotic or completely, you know, a sense of calm. I just, I wanted to be with it.

• 37:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:58Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And it, it's just been this incredible journey of.

• 38:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  What's next?

• 38:06Lewis Howes?

  That's incredible. The thing that I'm hearing you say, which I really love, is that when you started to, it sounds like your seven-year-old self was screaming at you during your adult life, when you were doing things out of alignment with what she wanted. Right? When you weren't protecting her, when you weren't showing up for her, she was screaming at you in different ways. She was like, you know, the acne was coming out, you're, you know, going against, you're going against your body by binge eating or binge drinking or, you know, late nights, all these different things. And she didn't feel safe with you as an adult trying to take care of her because you weren't taking care of her. And so she felt unsafe, right?

• 38:51Lewis Howes?

  And when, and when you treat your inner child poorly as an adult, bad things happen in your life. And, or you don't feel good, right?

• 39:03Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 39:03Lewis Howes?

  And you're not attracting abundance. You're not setting yourself up to be able to manifest your vision. You're not bringing the right relationships in your life necessarily. And things feel off. You feel out of alignment because you're not taking care of the inner being inside of you that needs cared for. And what it sounds like I'm hearing you say is when you said, okay, these two paths I can take, continued destruction or, you know, reconnecting to self and doing better choices. That's when, when you started, and you started to really be present with yourself and take time to listen to the still small voice, which is God, I think, and also your inner child.

• 39:48Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 39:49Lewis Howes?

  It's almost like the voices of both combining and saying, what does the inner child need and what is God directing me to do?

• 39:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Love, exactly.

• 39:56Lewis Howes?

  And when you are able to meditate for a minute or 20 minutes a day, or however long you do on a daily basis, you can hear the decisions you need to take today. And you can be guided on what you need to do in the next step. Even though you don't know what's to come, or you feel I'm uncertain, or what should I, what's the future gonna bring? When you can listen to yourself and where you're guided, you can take action on what is needed today. And it sounds like you've been doing that for now 10, 15 years. And by doing so and continuing to be in alignment with your intuition, by serving your inner child and by serving the higher power for yourself,

• 40:38Lewis Howes?

  abundance and manifestation becomes easy, easier. And you just said like, I didn't even have 10,000 followers. I just started taking these actions and doing what felt right to me and being consistent for 10, 15 years. And because of that consistent, um, integrated, authentic actions, it's like, ah, manifesting everything. I'm on the cover of these magazines and this is growing and audiences. And wow, these things are just happening for me, right? But if you were going down destructive paths, this wouldn't be happening.

• 41:08Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, of course not. And that's why I say I know I am here because of my practice.

• 41:15Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 41:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Because my practice keeps me grounded to myself. It keeps me completely locked in with what matters most to me.

• 41:25Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And like the thing that matters most to me in my life is having peaceful balance, peaceful harmony.

• 41:31Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 41:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  In my life, in my workplace, in my relationship with my family, with my friends, with every single thing that I do. And it's so interesting, the more that I just kind of like give over because I can be a little bossy.

• 41:49Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Definitely bossy.

• 41:50Lewis Howes?

  You're like my team when they're watching, they know.

• 41:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, they know, but I'm not a micromanager. But I, I am a number eight on the Enneagram and that has really helped me understand as an active controller. That's why I've remained the CEO. No matter what every single person told me that I needed to hire a CEO, I just, it, it never felt a hundred percent. I've tried and tested a lot of things that were other people's ideas and let me tell you, they don't work. I hate to say it.

• 42:21Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 42:22Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that's where I'm not always right, but when something feels completely wrong, or I have nothing, do nothing.

• 42:30Lewis Howes?

  Do nothing.

• 42:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Nothing. I'm in such a flat place right now and I feel, oh my God.

• 42:36Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean? Like you're not taking on new projects? You're not like launching new stuff or what?

• 42:41Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I'm just, I am being. And it's wild what happens.

• 42:46Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 42:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You like, it just, it's so interesting because you know, there, there is this part, like I've, I've tried things. I've had PR, I've done all of these things and I, I think when your mission is so big and you want to really spread your message as far and as wide, you try things and even when it feels against the grain, but I am such a sensitive, energetic person that I've just really learned that I have to listen to that. And when something just feels like even an ounce of force, like listen, I could have pitched, you know, had

• 43:26Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Dylan on my team, reach out to everyone on all the pod, but I'm like, no, that is not the way for me. It's through true, authentic connections. And like, I, I just know that, right? It's like, we met in the way that we were meant to meet. You reached out so flu, by the way, it was so nice. I was like, oh, this is just like so me, like so organic and it felt raw.

• 43:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:49Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that's when I think the most incredible things.

• 43:54Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 43:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Come into your life when you're not gripping.

• 43:59Lewis Howes?

  Or forcing.

• 44:00Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Or forcing.

• 44:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and trusting the timing of things.

• 44:03Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 44:04Lewis Howes?

  You know, I tell my fiance, Martha, like.

• 44:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I love her.

• 44:07Lewis Howes?

  She's always like, I wish we would have met like 10 years ago, like we would have had such a lot like our life would have been so much better and we wouldn't have been through so much pain and relationship breakups and something like that. I'm like, I wouldn't have looked at you the same way 10 years ago because I wasn't ready for you. I wasn't, I wasn't ready to be in a loving, peaceful relationship. Like, I wasn't ready. I would have been like, oh, you're like an attractive, like, beautiful girl who's really talented, but you don't have enough wounds for me, you know, it's like, you're not a something, you're not a project I need to like.

• 44:37Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Fix.

• 44:38Lewis Howes?

  Help out or something, right? And I wasn't attracted to that. I wasn't attracted to peace.

• 44:43Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh.

• 44:44Lewis Howes?

  So I would have created, you know, I would have hurt you probably, you know, I'd probably done something wrong or I'd have been like, eh, you know, whatever, I just wouldn't have been ready.

• 44:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  That's so honest. It's so.

• 44:54Lewis Howes?

  And I needed like, I needed to go through my own healing journey to feel ready for peace because I didn't have peace inside of me still. And so I needed to be peace before I could have peace in my environment. And she's like, oh, that makes sense, you know, but, but timing is everything.

• 45:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I agree with that.

• 45:15Lewis Howes?

  And, and, you know, until sometimes we could have breakdowns, unfortunately, like you had a break, big breakdown when you're in your mid twenties, then you were ready for a breakthrough, right? And unfortunately, it wasn't sooner, you know, we all wish it was like we had peace and less pain and sadness and, and things we did poorly sooner, but timing is everything when you can trust in a higher power. So, do you believe in God?

• 45:42Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I do. For me, it's like, it is this, it's a higher power.

• 45:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:48Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And.

• 45:49Lewis Howes?

  Where was your life when you weren't believing in a higher power versus where you do now?

• 45:55Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I mean, it was disconnected.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:57Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  There was no anchor.

• 45:59Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 46:00Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And.

• 46:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  There was no contentment, like, just like feeling.

• 46:05Lewis Howes?

  Never happy.

• 46:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God, contentment is such a.

• 46:08Lewis Howes?

  Never, never good enough, right?

• 46:09Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Never good enough. No, no, no, no. And I, I mean, I relate so much to your story with Martha, who I love, by the way. She's amazing. With Noah, like Noah, I feel like he was like a saving grace in my life because he's so calm. He's so grounded. He's like everything that I just was so unknown for me. And it was a massive part of me being able to drop into myself and to really go deep and do the work. Because I felt safe with him and I felt this safe.

• 46:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Sense in my life that really, I think, when you do have that, and it's very important that while he brought so many elements of that, I was discovering it within myself. I wasn't look, I, oh, by the way, when we first started dating, I was like, he's gonna save me. Thank God, I need to be saved. I thought he was gonna save me. He was gonna like, and then he wasn't.

• 47:10Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 47:10Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes. I remember like he would wake up in the morning and he was like so happy and he would like, be so excited for his day and I would, I hated what I was doing.

• 47:19Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 47:20Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I was just like, how do you feel like that? And like, how do you find your thing? Like, I was so, I was like, the grip was so tight and I was just searching and he was like, just try to, and I have, I still, it's hard for me to focus. Definitely undiagnosed ADHD. I mean, it's just, it's there. But he said, if you can just like pay attention to like the thing that you're interested in. And for me now, it's like, pay attention to the thing that like lights you up. And just give it a little focus.

• 47:56Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 47:57Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Focus a little bit on it. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, what does he mean? Like, I'm fit modeling. And then it was funny because during my. Like I would be fitting all day and I like worked as a fit model for years, but I was like making bank guaranteed cash.

• 48:13Lewis Howes?

  Good money every day.

• 48:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It was amazing money and I wasn't like a big model, but I was like, I don't even care anymore because that was exhausting trying with all these supermodels in the room anyway. Like at least I'm making money.

• 48:23Lewis Howes?

  You're in a room and they're like fitting like the jeans and the shirts to you and all that stuff.

• 48:26Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Exactly.

• 48:27Lewis Howes?

  So you don't have to like be on for photography to like be in the world stage.

• 48:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's actually.

• 48:31Lewis Howes?

  Not like runway modeling. You're just like, I get to hang out and the designers are just like fitting to me and.

• 48:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 48:37Lewis Howes?

  And I'm getting good money.

• 48:38Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I was making great money and I just remember like when things really kind of turned on where, you know, I would go, I would go to my, my fittings and maybe the tech designer was like, oh, I'm feeling really tired. And I'm like, well, what is the first thing like, well, how do you go to bed? And what is the first thing you do when you wake up? And then it was like, I was coaching. I started coaching, but I loved it. And then it was like, so when you're unhappy in a situation, or if you don't love your job right now, bring a little joy to the job. You gotta dig a little deep and like that, when I started doing that, wow. First of all, the lights go on and I was like, I am so, I love helping people.

• 49:22Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I was just like a little thing. I'm like, well, take magnesium, turn the lights on, put your phone away. And it's like, nothing's changed. I'm still like sharing all of these things, but then I started working. So I, I went to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online, the online course. And that for me was like, I didn't even want to do it because I hated school and I was like, oh God, you have to take tests. And they're like, it's open book test, but I'm, or you know, and I'm still was like, oh my God, just the idea of taking a test gives me severe anxiety. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to challenge myself. And I remember Noah saying, let me get it for you. Let me pay for the course. And I said, no, thank you. But I have to do it for myself. If I let you pay, I'm just going to be like, oh, whatever. I, I knew that. So I was like,

• 50:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I have to earn this.

• 50:09Lewis Howes?

  You need to invest in it.

• 50:10Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I needed to invest. So doing that and then I started coaching people for free. I, you know, I would meet them in coffee shops and then, and then I, I was, I like pitched myself to this integrative doctor. I was, he'd never worked with health coaches before. He hired me. It was the first, first health coach he ever hired. Dr. Morrison, big shout out to you. Thanks for believing in me. And now he, you know, they have health coaches in their practice. But it was like, listening to that, like, the focus for me, really helped me understand that, like, okay, I couldn't leave my job because I was making great money. But on the evening, maybe like, a couple evenings a week, I put, dedicated a little

• 50:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  time, and then the evenings became weekends, and then the weekend became, and then I had people who wanted to pay me. And then I was getting all these offers. And that was really it. Like, that was when I was like, I think I can literally do this.

• 51:05Lewis Howes?

  Live off this.

• 51:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I started coaching, full time. And I loved it. But I knew there was something missing. And I'm in that place right now. And it's so fun.

• 51:14Lewis Howes?

  What was missing?

• 51:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I felt like I loved talking through, but when I started blending movement, it like, I became alive.

• 51:25Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 51:25Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that was how I started teaching digitally. And I never, I'm not a trainer, I never started teaching in studio. I started teaching online. And then, you know, I feel like, even after all of these years of doing this, and I love, I love what I do. I am so grateful and so proud of myself, that I'm like, you did it, and you're still doing it, and you're gonna keep doing it, because the unfolding is what I've learned to really just get excited about, right? And I love speaking, and I love being able to spread this, but also to help people apply their lives, and their mess, and their stuff, to like, to really get them there.

• 52:09Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 52:10Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  To like, hold, you know, it's like handholding and guiding along the way, that I feel like is something that I love to do. But there's something that happens when I'm on stage or speaking, where I feel, I feel at home.

• 52:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's beautiful. Something you said, you know, it's really interesting. Because there's a lot of people that are struggling or suffering or in depression or anxiety. And what I've learned over the years that the fastest way to end your own sadness and suffering is to be in service to someone else. And like you said, you were maybe a little down or whatever, and you started coaching people just like for fun for 10, 20 minutes. And it just made you feel alive. When you're in service to someone else, helping provide value to someone else, it's the greatest gift you can give yourself to. It's almost selfish because of how good you can feel to help another person.

• 52:58Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  That's how I feel with the work that I do. Like, I'm just like-

• 53:01Lewis Howes?

  You're amplifying it too. Yeah. So it's like you're helping millions and you're like, man, what a gift. Like, this is so beautiful that I get to be of service and use my pain or my sadness for so long. And what I learned on how to get out of it to help other women who are struggling in whatever they're struggling with. And if people watching or listening just knew that, like, if you're suffering in any way and sadness right now, the fastest way to overcome that is to get out of yourself and start helping someone else. Helping someone with whatever you can help them with, I don't care. Listen to them. If you have no skill, just listen to them and sit with them. If you can provide value in some way, provide value for free, whatever it is, it's gonna make you feel better. And the more you do it consistently, it's gonna get you out of that sadness and suffering. And it's not

• 53:45Lewis Howes?

  gonna solve everything, but it's gonna help you a lot.

• 53:48Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It really does. And I think also, like, moving your body, like, it's wild what movement can do. I think it's just like, it brings magic to your life because all the, you know, all those endorphins and your dopamine, the serotonin, and you're just like, and I think that just becomes a magnet.

• 54:10Lewis Howes?

  Hundred percent.

• 54:11Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So bringing, like, it's like, it opens up the energy.

• 54:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. If you can, if you can meditate on a consistent basis and calm your mind, if you can move your breath and be intentional for a few minutes a day with your breathing, whether that's with movement or not, and then if you can use movement on a daily basis in some intuitive way, you're 90% of the way there.

• 54:34Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  That's my medicine.

• 54:35Lewis Howes?

  That's it. And if you can start just eating a little bit more intuitively, you know, a little healthier.

• 54:41Lewis Howes?

  It's gonna solve a lot of problems.

• 54:42Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God.

• 54:43Lewis Howes?

  A lot. You're just gonna feel better. You're just gonna feel better. You're gonna be clearer. You're gonna be happier, more joyful, more loving, more grateful. And it's not gonna solve everything, but it's gonna solve a lot.

• 54:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It is, and I think people are waiting to feel motivated. And if, let me tell you, I'm a super motivated person. I don't always feel motivated to do the things. So when I'm feeling that way, like, I lean on my habits. It's like,

• 55:10Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 55:10Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Your habits are the vehicle that are gonna inspire and turn on this motivation inside of you. Then you become more motivated to keep it moving. But like, if you're sitting around waiting to be motivated or inspired, like, we have to, we have, we have to know that we're the creators of that. And it's like coming back to the things, unfortunately, that you may not want to do in that moment. Like, I don't wake up, like, skipping to meditate and work out every day. And by the way, I do it for like thirty minutes. But I'm consistent and I'm devoted to myself daily.

• 55:44Lewis Howes?

  That's great.

• 55:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that's where it's like less of this, like pounding into the ground. And it becomes,

• 55:49Lewis Howes?

  Beating yourself up and extremism. Yeah, yeah.

• 55:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:52Lewis Howes?

  But how do you stay consistent when you've got a, you know, a big business now? You're a mom, couple of kids, you know, you're married. You've got responsibilities as a wife. You've got extended family, I'm assuming, that have stuff coming up all the time. You've got friends, you've got. How do you do it? How can you stay fit, healthy, calm? You know? How do you manage it all?

• 56:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's even more reason for me to stay consistent. And I know what it feels like to feel bad. And I know what it feels like to live life feeling like that. And I don't want to. And even on my most down days. And some days, like, I do think you just have to let yourself, like, be in that. And to feel all the feels, cry, say the, like, really get it out. Because it's got, you have to release it.

• 56:47Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But I I still do the work. I still come back to it because it has me here. It has me living a life beyond my wildest dreams. And I never thought things were possible. And I now know that anything is possible. I really, truly, with everything inside of me, believe that when you want it. And when you, it's not even working hard for it. I think you have to work super consistently. But when you're just willing to feel all the feelings to, you know, it's, I always say, it's like the days that you don't want to do it, that you need it most, that will completely elevate your process.

• 57:32Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 57:34Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And it's just like I, after all of these years, and I still have these, and you know, I have such a deep relationship with my inner self. And it's like these internal conversations that I have, and I get myself there. And I do, I do, and I just, I wanna live this life to the fullest.

• 57:52Lewis Howes?

  You said though, earlier that like, you're in a place that's kind of an interesting place right now is you said, I don't know if you said flat or neutral or?

• 57:58Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, neutral.

• 58:00Lewis Howes?

  What are you uncovering right now? Like in the last decade, you've really uncovered a lot and grown a lot and created a lot. Right? Uh, and where are you now? You mentioned earlier also like, you're still doing even deeper unmasking and letting go of, you know, past wounds on a deeper level. Does that mean you're, what does that mean?

• 58:20Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 58:21Lewis Howes?

  You know, with your, your business and also with your, your personal journey inside?

• 58:27Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So right now, I am, I'm doing some energy work. And it's funny because I feel like since I've been doing this work, I've kind of shifted away from other things. Like I love therapy and I think therapy is a great tool. But this has been something very transformative for me to understand that like we're all energy. And I, it's like, I, I'm just like vibrating energy and I can feel people's energy. And it's just something that magnifies my life. So the more that I'm just really paying attention to the energy that I hold around me and.

• 59:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's really hard because I went like this with my business, right? Like I, when I really hit that peak growth and then it's like, okay, like, what are we doing?

• 59:25Lewis Howes?

  Keep expanding and building, create, let's launch this.

• 59:27Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Exactly, and hire more people and test and try all of these things. And it got away from me.

• 59:35Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It got a little too far away from me. And I was so unhappy. And I, I've been feeling it for a while. But it's overwhelming. And then, you know, it's so easy to be like, oh, well, this person, although if, you know, didn't do that, make that decision and I was doing this. Listening to other people and

• 1:00:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I've, I've actually never talked about this, but a couple of years ago, I brought in some investment. I, I, just with a small group of people. And it was really like not completely locked in to, to like my gut, you know? But it was a guided decision that I felt from people who are very intelligent. I was like, you know what, like this.

• 1:00:30Lewis Howes?

  Successful.

• 1:00:30Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, of course. And I also have stood behind for so many years, like, oh, well, school wasn't my thing. And finance isn't my thing. Enough of that bullshit. Like, it is so easy to hide behind and just think you can just like hire things. And I do believe that you have to really give the majority of your energy to the thing that you're really, really good at. But I had to really face this feeling of like, why am I so uninspired?

• 1:01:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I had nothing. I was just like, it was all, it was just like putting on an act. And I can do that.

• 1:01:13Lewis Howes?

  When was this?

• 1:01:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Um, it's, it's been going on for a year, but it was, it was like. Chipping away at kind of understanding, maybe in certain rooms, the vibes weren't vibing and I'm just like walking away and I'm like,

• 1:01:29Lewis Howes?

  Why am I doing this?

• 1:01:30Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Well, yeah, and I'm just like, why wasn't it vibing? Who contributed to the vibes being off? And like, I had to go under the hood of my business. And own that the decisions that were made were my decisions.

• 1:01:51Lewis Howes?

  At the end of the day, you said yes.

• 1:01:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  This is because of things I have chosen to say yes to. Whether I felt it or not, I did it. So owning that is when I was just like, and I pulled up the sleeves and I'm like, and let's get to work because nobody can fix this but me. And it was just a lot of deep, like for me, it starts with intuition and energy, but then it has to be supported by aligned actions. So you feel the thing, you take note, you kind of investigate. And then it's like you, you have to ask questions and, and sometimes there's just certain people that are not meant to be in your orbit. And that's okay, because I think when something's not working for you, it's not working for them either.

• 1:02:37Lewis Howes?

  Sure, of course.

• 1:02:38Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But you're pulling the plug, you know, or they're pulling the plug, by the way. And it's amazing what was kind of starting to happen and shift. And I had built this beautiful space, this like, you know, I started doing this stuff in my living room. Noah, when, you know, he was like, it's so funny because he's like, you know, you were doing this thing and I was like so happy for you that you were like content doing this thing. But then it's like, when he started paying attention, he's like, you're like, you have a real business. It was really cute and funny and he was always supportive, but he's just like, whoa, like this is crazy. And then I, he literally built a custom desk in our living room. And I had me and two other girls on the team.

• 1:03:22Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So, you know, I went from that and then I went to like this, WeWork space that was a closet with three desks. And now I've built this beautiful space with a studio in the office.

• 1:03:35Lewis Howes?

  Incredible.

• 1:03:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But I didn't feel good being there.

• 1:03:38Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:03:39Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No. I didn't know why.

• 1:03:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I I had to uncover and I had to ask hard questions and then I had to face things. But through the process of listening and taking action and other people sometimes taking action, I am in a different space in my life right now where I feel like I've like just cleaned up some cobwebs and made some really hard decisions of also buying my investors back. They're amazing, the most incredible group and it was nothing to do with them. It was just the simple fact that something was not completely feeling in

• 1:04:28Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  the flow for me. And I think I put on my own pressure of feeling like I've got to deliver this thing, but also understanding that I think people, you know, make it sound like the North Star should be selling your business. And I just like the more I kind of

• 1:04:50Lewis Howes?

  Raising money, selling the business.

• 1:04:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah. I was like, oh, my God.

• 1:04:55Lewis Howes?

  Hiring more and more people.

• 1:04:57Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I was just like, I love that. I love what I love this. I don't think that's I don't think that's it. And just being really honest and transparent and has helped me to just really come back to myself.

• 1:05:14Lewis Howes?

  Wow. That's beautiful. Yeah, more is not always more.

• 1:05:17Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, it's not. And and I think testing and by the way, because I think it's so easy to think about all the money and the things you say, oh, God, the time. And I weighed on that for a bit, to be honest. But then I'm like, thank you.

• 1:05:35Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you for for showing me, for guiding me, for allowing me to really own this. And to just know that those were my lessons and I had to do, I had to go all, you know, through all of these things to be at this chat, this neutral chapter, which, you know, I like highs when they're high and I even can vibe with a low when it's low because it's just like, I'm used to this.

• 1:06:02Lewis Howes?

  But you're not used to this.

• 1:06:03Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, but I'm, oh my God, it's so beautiful. And I'm just like.

• 1:06:08Lewis Howes?

  You don't know what to expect next. Is that what it is? Or you're not clear yet?

• 1:06:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I know that I want to do more motivational speaking. I'm a motivational speaker and just saying that more, I'm like, Melissa, you are a motivational speaker. Stop saying you want to be, you are a motivator. And I just, even that, like exercising that skill and the way that I talk about it. And getting, getting myself out there to, to do more things and I feel really excited without knowing a damn thing that's about to come.

• 1:06:45Lewis Howes?

  So what does that look like? If you had a vision for your life over the next few years, what does that feeling or experience look like?

• 1:06:53Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Honestly, it all comes back to my community because it is, oh my God. I mean, and how this came to be is I did my first like really big class in Brook, in Brooklyn at the One Hotel years ago.

• 1:07:09Lewis Howes?

  Like a live class in person?

• 1:07:10Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, like an in-person class where I, you know, we did a meditation and I guided a class. But it was the speaking part that I walked away from that experience. And by the way, it was so crazy because I stayed at the One Hotel the night before because I was like, I need to just like get grounded. And sometimes when your kids are crying, you know, I was just like, give me a moment. This is my first big thing with 300 ish people that I had ever done. And I was in the room and I like thought people were like screaming on this like the street, but then I looked out the window and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, I think they're lined up for coming. And I like, I started to panic because I was like, are

• 1:07:55Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  people are gonna come? Like, are you sure they RSVP? It was so weird. I started feeling like no one was gonna come.

• 1:08:01Lewis Howes?

  I know that feeling.

• 1:08:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God. And then I didn't prepare a damn thing.

• 1:08:06Lewis Howes?

  Well, you'd been preparing for 10 years. You know, you've been doing reps.

• 1:08:11Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah. And honestly, that is my inner genius that I can drop in. I'm so connected to Source and that just flows through me. I've never like, I don't plan a class. I don't plan a meditation and I didn't plan a talk, but it poured out of me.

• 1:08:28Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's cool.

• 1:08:29Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I went home and I remember I was like laying in bed, my legs are up the wall as they are every night before bed. And I was talking to Noah and I said, I feel the most like at home and I just feel that's what happened to me today is what I meant to be doing.

• 1:08:47Lewis Howes?

  You felt alive.

• 1:08:48Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes, I felt so alive.

• 1:08:51Lewis Howes?

  When's the last time you did one of those?

• 1:08:55Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So that's where things get interesting, right? Because I've done some, I have done some, but I can really hide behind teaching a class because it's safe and it's known.

• 1:09:10Lewis Howes?

  Versus what?

• 1:09:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Versus just getting up there and speaking.

• 1:09:14Lewis Howes?

  Oh, so it was, so you've been doing more class teaching?

• 1:09:17Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Well, like it kind of blends. It's like a motive, you know, a meditation and then we move and then we, and by the way, that is beautiful and I love doing it, but I just like every time I'm speaking.

• 1:09:28Lewis Howes?

  Just speaking.

• 1:09:29Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Just.

• 1:09:30Lewis Howes?

  Oh, not doing a class.

• 1:09:32Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And by the way, people like our members, my members come to me like, sure, I can give, I can put you through a killer workout, a workout that you, you know, a lot of people are strong. This is, it's different because it's mostly using your own body weight and just like the blend of that alone, combined with the way I kind of, you know, will fuse things together.

• 1:09:55Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But people come to me for, for, for the, it's like what I give in my energy and feeling motivated, right? Like, because that starts to pour through me when I'm teaching and I feel that in my soul. Like, that's what they really want. They want all of it, all the things.

• 1:10:14Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. But it's a feeling more than, they get a workout anywhere.

• 1:10:18Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, they can work out anywhere and they do, you know, but.

• 1:10:22Lewis Howes?

  But they get a feeling and something's unique with you that they want more of.

• 1:10:27Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes, and I'm, I'm really, I'm stepping into that.

• 1:10:30Lewis Howes?

  So what, does that, I mean, okay, I'm trying to understand that. So you like doing classes, but that's not the main thing you want to be doing?

• 1:10:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's, I feel like it was, I love teaching digitally. Like, I am, I.

• 1:10:43Lewis Howes?

  Not in-person classes?

• 1:10:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I mean, I'll do it. I love it occasionally, but like, I'm not going to teach every week in a studio or like train client. Like, that is not my soul's work.

• 1:10:53Lewis Howes?

  So what is the vision then for your soul's work? Is it to speak on stage for this next season of life?

• 1:10:58Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 1:10:59Lewis Howes?

  And not teaching a workshop or a class, just speaking?

• 1:11:03Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So i- it's a combination of both. And I'm, I'm really.

• 1:11:08Lewis Howes?

  What does the perfect speech look like for you? Where you feel most alive?

• 1:11:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's starting with my keynote.

• 1:11:14Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:11:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Like, really giving, like, the story and the how I have gotten to this place. But then it's taking that and it is giving the how-to to everyone in the space.

• 1:11:29Lewis Howes?

  Like, with a class example or more like, okay, so no class, no workout?

• 1:11:33Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  A meditation, definitely a meditation. Maybe we'll get up and we'll do something.

• 1:11:37Lewis Howes?

  But not like laying down on the mat and doing a workout. Okay, so it's not a workout speech?

• 1:11:41Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's not a workout.

• 1:11:42Lewis Howes?

  It's a speech speech?

• 1:11:43Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's a real.

• 1:11:44Lewis Howes?

  Okay. So when's the last time you did one of those?

• 1:11:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  So the last time I did that was, I was invited to, where did I see, where did I speak? I went to Austin and Snapchat had me come for, what is, why am I drawing a blank on the? South by Southwest, thank you. Like, it was huge for me to have them come and.

• 1:12:07Lewis Howes?

  And how was that?

• 1:12:08Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It was incredible. It was amazing.

• 1:12:12Lewis Howes?

  But that was like five months ago, six months ago.

• 1:12:14Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you. Look at this. I love this.

• 1:12:15Lewis Howes?

  So. What are you waiting to do the next one?

• 1:12:18Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Well, I'm, we're, I'm doing one in the beginning in Q1. We're looking at booking the space like right now. Like I'm, we're, I'm actively working towards getting this thing together, but it's, there's nothing standing in the way. It's, it's more now. I know that I've taken a lot of this space to like get myself and I've done a lot of talks in between too. Like I did one last Friday, I'm doing one next week. And you know, room of 70 people, 100 people, I've spoken to 500, 500 plus. So I've been grooming this, but this one I'm putting on.

• 1:13:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:13:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  This is my event.

• 1:13:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, in early next year.

• 1:13:04Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And as you know, that takes, I mean, it's a lot of work. So we've been chipping away at this for a while, but I can very confidently say in 2025.

• 1:13:15Lewis Howes?

  It's happening.

• 1:13:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's freaking happening. Like cannot, I, I, I really can't wait. And when I, even like last Friday, when I spoke to these 70 women, I was like, I am so, like, I'm the most me I've ever been.

• 1:13:34Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so you feel the most alive when you're doing this?

• 1:13:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I do.

• 1:13:37Lewis Howes?

  I can see it in your energy.

• 1:13:38Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I know, I completely shifted, I felt it.

• 1:13:41Lewis Howes?

  But you've only done a couple of them this year, it sounds like, right?

• 1:13:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, I've done more than a couple.

• 1:13:46Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:13:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I've done, I've done a lot. Yeah, I've done a lot, but they're very much like I'm being invited.

• 1:13:54Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 1:13:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But I wanted to use this time to like exercise my skills.

• 1:14:00Lewis Howes?

  I mean, why don't you just do it at your office space like once every week or every two weeks, like just let women come in and do like a, you know, 100 person event and just get your reps.

• 1:14:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:14Lewis Howes?

  It doesn't have to be a big production.

• 1:14:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, no, it doesn't.

• 1:14:16Lewis Howes?

  Like, oh, we have to plan six months in advance to have like a event.

• 1:14:19Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But I feel like I really, my energy vibrates, like I feel very called to, like the space we're looking at is a thousand people. Like I just, I've done the 500s, I've done a little more, but I feel like I'm just.

• 1:14:33Lewis Howes?

  Bigger thing now.

• 1:14:33Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, and I have been, I mean, the thing is with, and I love where you're going with this, call me on it.

• 1:14:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I am.

• 1:14:40Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, I like it, thank you, because it's also, I have to face that.

• 1:14:47Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I have, and, and this is something like, I had to ask myself, like, am I procrastinating? This is when I started working with this.

• 1:14:55Lewis Howes?

  Doesn't need to look too perfect.

• 1:14:56Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, and I was like, am I procrastinating? And, and it, it was so clear, and this is when I really got to work. It's been about four months of this. I had so much detangling to do. And I, it's not an excuse.

• 1:15:12Lewis Howes?

  I hear you though.

• 1:15:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  But when you're so tangled.

• 1:15:15Lewis Howes?

  It's hard to give your energy to something.

• 1:15:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You can't.

• 1:15:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:18Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And it's, and now, as, as things are all, you know, starting to open up, it's like, I, I'm opening up.

• 1:15:24Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure, sure. Timing is everything.

• 1:15:26Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's everything.

• 1:15:27Lewis Howes?

  I was talking with, uh, I was with Gabby Bernstein last night. We were talking about you.

• 1:15:30Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  She's the best.

• 1:15:31Lewis Howes?

  And, um, talking about how, you know, she's always, she's loved watching your journey and just how you've exploded. But, um, she did something for years, I think, I remember it was a year where it was like, once a month, there was like a beautiful church in New York City that she would just.

• 1:15:45Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, I used to go.

• 1:15:46Lewis Howes?

  Did you?

• 1:15:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Lewis Howes?

  So there's gotta be something like that where also it doesn't have to be a big production.

• 1:15:51Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, I like that.

• 1:15:52Lewis Howes?

  I wanna do this once a month for 300 or 500 or however many people, where it's like a 90 minute thing, and I'm just gonna get my practice reps here in New York for the bigger thing that I'm gonna build later.

• 1:16:02Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Ooh, I really love that.

• 1:16:03Lewis Howes?

  And it's content for the app, and it's whatever. You can invite your friends, you can bring, you know, other people, whatever it might be. And just whoever shows shows.

• 1:16:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  That's a great idea.

• 1:16:13Lewis Howes?

  If it's a thousand people, but I'm gonna bring my best once a month.

• 1:16:17Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Hmm.

• 1:16:17Lewis Howes?

  And, and I get a rep every month, and I, I'm gonna create something for myself, and I'm also gonna have content for the whole month. And I'm gonna have, you know, more videos to show other big events, what I'm doing in front of, like, it's just gonna activate it.

• 1:16:31Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Hmm, I love that.

• 1:16:32Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:16:32Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I felt a very strong yes when you said that.

• 1:16:35Lewis Howes?

  Like, it can, doesn't have to be produced, overproduced, but it could be a beautiful church. It could be, like, I don't know whether Gabby did it, but it always looked, oh, it's pretty beautiful.

• 1:16:43Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I, yeah, she, I've been to like one that she did at a church, and then I was, I would go to Marianne Williamson, who was also like one of her teachers.

• 1:16:50Lewis Howes?

  She did weekly.

• 1:16:51Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, I went weekly for, for a long time.

• 1:16:53Lewis Howes?

  So you could do something like that.

• 1:16:54Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 1:16:55Lewis Howes?

  It could be once a month to start.

• 1:16:56Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I love it. Like, this is great.

• 1:16:58Lewis Howes?

  I like this.

• 1:16:59Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  No, I'm, I'm really liking this. And what I've been, what I've really been peeling back the layers on is clearly perfection.

• 1:17:07Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Can you tell?

• 1:17:08Lewis Howes?

  If I, I mean, yeah. If I was, if I were you, I would say, you know, you should give yourself a challenge to, to make it feel a little scary. And I wouldn't wait till next year. I would say, how do I do this in November or December?

• 1:17:20Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Okay.

• 1:17:21Lewis Howes?

  It's like, how do I do this before the end of the year?

• 1:17:22Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Hmm.

• 1:17:23Lewis Howes?

  Where I don't feel fully prepared, where it scares me a little bit because I feel like I want it to be this produced, perfect thing. And just show up and give my heart and soul to my community.

• 1:17:33Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Hmm. I love it. And that's when I'm at my best, by the way, when it's less produced, which is what I've gone back to.

• 1:17:40Lewis Howes?

  The mic and you on stage.

• 1:17:41Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Lewis Howes?

  And put a little music on and that's it. And you, you deliver, you know? So I mean, the holidays are coming up. It's like, it's a perfect time, November, December, to like, just put something together. And see who shows up, you know, it's scary when you don't know how many people are going to show up. I just had an event a few weeks ago. And I was literally like, I have no idea. It was a 6,000 person venue. And I go, I don't know if people are going to show up or not. Like, we're going to have a thousand people here and it's going to look empty is.

• 1:18:09Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Right.

• 1:18:10Lewis Howes?

  It was until people are there, you're like, oh, okay, this thing is full, but it's a little scary.

• 1:18:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It's really scary.

• 1:18:16Lewis Howes?

  And I've been doing it for eight years, you know, it's like. So I don't know, something what I'm hearing you say is like, you just being able to show up and hundreds of people coming and you being able to deliver. And the joy that brings you like, and the memory that gives you at night afterwards and how you get to talk about it and how you get to relive it. That memory dividend is, sounds like it's one of the greatest joys you have.

• 1:18:38Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It is.

• 1:18:39Lewis Howes?

  When you're on stage speaking. And so don't limit yourself on your ability to serve until the perfect timing or the perfect space or the perfect. I have to detangle everything. I get the detangling, but it's like, you can keep getting practice reps locally. In a, in a smaller venue, you know?

• 1:18:59Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you. I needed to hear that.

• 1:19:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. And your community wants you, right? You're doing a disservice by not adding a space for them to show up.

• 1:19:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You're freaking right.

• 1:19:09Lewis Howes?

  They're messaging you saying, we want more of you. And this is the thing you want to do more of. It's not like you're wanting to do something that you don't want to do. It's not like your audience is asking you to do like a mastermind or a coaching program or another course where you're like, I'm just tired of creating more. They're asking you to do something that your heart is telling you you love the most. Based on what I'm hearing you say.

• 1:19:29Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  A million percent. Thank you. I needed this.

• 1:19:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I would set a date in November, December.

• 1:19:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Okay.

• 1:19:36Lewis Howes?

  And say, I'm just gonna get a venue that I can just do a two hour talk.

• 1:19:40Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And that's the thing. I'm just like, I don't, I don't set it. Just like a walk in.

• 1:19:44Lewis Howes?

  Walk in.

• 1:19:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Do the thing.

• 1:19:45Lewis Howes?

  That's it. No production.

• 1:19:46Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 1:19:46Lewis Howes?

  Mic and some music.

• 1:19:47Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I like less production. That's not a big thing.

• 1:19:51Lewis Howes?

  And you can keep doing the thousand person venue later next year. You can set that.

• 1:19:55Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:55Lewis Howes?

  And create that, but this is where your heart and your soul comes alive and where you can serve your community. It doesn't need to do Gabby Bernstein, Marion Williams from style. You know, it's like, serve.

• 1:20:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you.

• 1:20:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:09Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I really needed.

• 1:20:10Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna text you and see next week if you've got a date.

• 1:20:13Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Done. No, I feel like as soon as you said it, and I think this is where, you know, with my team right now, I feel like I've really just been coming back to the basics of like, what brings me alive? Like I've been, I actually went back to doing my lives on my phone with no, like we have lights in there, but it's like dark and it's not perfect.

• 1:20:35Lewis Howes?

  It's not fancy.

• 1:20:36Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, my God, it's like, it's when I'm the most me.

• 1:20:40Lewis Howes?

  I mean, even consider going back and just make it look like your living room. You know, maybe you don't want to film your living room anymore, but make it, set it up like your living.

• 1:20:47Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I do still film in my living room.

• 1:20:48Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 1:20:49Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, I will never stop doing it.

• 1:20:50Lewis Howes?

  At home?

• 1:20:51Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yes.

• 1:20:51Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 1:20:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah. I bring it with me everywhere.

• 1:20:54Lewis Howes?

  Well, it's amazing. Amazing. Yeah, I would love to see you on a stage in New York, like just a church or a venue like, get what Gabby did.

• 1:21:01Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You gave me a gift.

• 1:21:02Lewis Howes?

  Like it could be once a month. It doesn't have to be weekly and just see how that feels.

• 1:21:06Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Okay.

• 1:21:07Lewis Howes?

  And book it, only book it one month ahead. If you don't want to do it next month, I don't have to do it anymore. If it's getting too overwhelming or it doesn't feel right, I'm stopping, you know?

• 1:21:15Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Team, get ready.

• 1:21:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, it's not, it doesn't be some big producer thing. And that's the feeder for like, oh, we're gonna do a thousand or two thousand person venue next year. And this is like, you can sell tickets to that at your monthly thing.

• 1:21:28Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah, I feel like I've been standing in my own way. And honestly, it's so interesting because I think you can be really excited about something and at the same time so scared of really stepping in.

• 1:21:43Lewis Howes?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:21:44Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And I will admit that.

• 1:21:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course. Yeah. But this is, you're here for a reason today, so.

• 1:21:49Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I'm, you gave me, it was like an electric, like, listen and yes, and.

• 1:21:54Lewis Howes?

  Well, just you talking about it, I'm like, this is what you're most alive is what you're saying, you know, and I'm feeling that. And I'm like, well, why have I only done it a few times this year? You know, it's like, just do it once a month, you know?

• 1:22:05Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Okay.

• 1:22:06Lewis Howes?

  On your own, here in New York.

• 1:22:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Lewis Howes?

  This has been beautiful. I've got a couple of final questions for you, but

• 1:22:11Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Amazing.

• 1:22:12Lewis Howes?

  what I'm hearing you say throughout this entire conversation is that when you give yourself the space and time to start listening to the direction of your life. And am I in the direction that I want to be in or am I not? Based on how I'm feeling, based on my environment, based on the people in my life, am I on the direction, am I on the path? And do I feel good about me? Do I have a good relationship with me? When you've been able to do that consistently, good things happen in your life. When you keep taking consistent, healthy actions on a daily basis.

• 1:22:51Lewis Howes?

  More abundance comes to you, you're manifesting the right things, organically, things flow to you better, and it feels more effortless. When you're making decisions that are not in alignment with your inner child or with the divine,

• 1:23:06Lewis Howes?

  it's a lot of effort and things don't flow to you. And there's a lot of destruction and sadness and suffering in your path. And so I want to acknowledge you, Melissa, for the journey you continue to take to be on service to the little girl inside of you, to be there for her, even when she's maybe screaming at times and you're doing not everything perfect all the time, but you keep realigning with the values you have that she needs.

• 1:23:31Lewis Howes?

  I know you have kids, but the most important child you have is the one with yourself. And so I acknowledge you for being on that journey to being a great mother to yourself, as well as your own kids. And being of service, using your soul to be of service to your community. And I acknowledge you for making the actions in your business recently to realign with that, even though that might be scary and worried what people are going to think about me and what I'm going to upset some people and these different things. But, you know, more is not always more. And so I acknowledge you for taking these challenging courageous steps.

• 1:24:10Lewis Howes?

  And I'm so excited that we're connecting and I hope to see you continue to be in your power without it being perfect.

• 1:24:18Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, yes.

• 1:24:21Lewis Howes?

  I've got two final questions for you, Melissa. Before I ask them, how can people who are listening or watching be of service to you today? Where can we support and follow you and serve you?

• 1:24:32Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you. I just, I'm like so full of gratitude. It's such a beautiful thing when you can like really take it in. You can come to melissawoodhealth.com and I have workouts and meditations. I have over a thousand videos and I really, truly have something for everyone that was always important to me, no matter what stage of life you are in, whether you are pregnant, newly postpartum, have never worked out, have taken years off. And, you know, with these workouts and the programs that I've created, I feel very confident that it will guide you to a place of true inner alignment with yourself. And meditations, I have recipes.

• 1:25:16Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  I really share so much. I try to give it all there. And our Instagram for Melissa Wood Health is at Melissa Wood Health. And my personal is at Melissa Wood Pepperberg.

• 1:25:30Lewis Howes?

  Awesome. Okay, we'll make sure to check that out. And if you're in New York, make sure to follow her to see when she's doing her event here in New York at the end of this year, hopefully. No pressure, but only if it fills a line for you.

• 1:25:42Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  It does.

• 1:25:42Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:43Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  You lit a fire. Love it.

• 1:25:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I don't want you to feel like I have to do this, but it's like if you feel called, the end of this year, it's happening.

• 1:25:53Lewis Howes?

  This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of our conversations. It's called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want in this world, but it's your last day on this earth. So imagine you're as old as you want to be. And from this moment of this conversation until that last day, you get to create everything you want in your life. Whether you want to create more or less, whatever it is, you get to develop and create anything. And all your dreams come true. Everything comes true. But for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you, all of your content, the videos, this conversation, anything you create. We don't have access in this world after you're gone hypothetically.

• 1:26:35Lewis Howes?

  But on the last day, you get to leave behind three truths. Three things you know to be true from all your experiences in life. Kind of like your three lessons to life. And this is all we have to remember of your content. What would be those three truths for you?

• 1:26:50Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh, God, this is so good. The three truths for me would be to

• 1:27:03Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  listen to your gut because it's guiding you in ways and directions beyond anything you ever could have imagined. Open your heart. Because when you do,

• 1:27:21Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  it opens the doors to everything in your life.

• 1:27:28Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  And the third would be to be exactly who you are. And no matter what's going on around you and people are doing things you want to do and they're, you think they're doing it better, the more that you can just come back to you and move through life in the way that you do is where I think the beauty of us really unfolds.

• 1:27:59Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. Final question, Melissa, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:28:07Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  My definition of greatness is

• 1:28:17Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Having this

• 1:28:21Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  contentment and alignment in your life. No matter what it looks like, because I think when you peel all of that stuff back, it's this, this feeling that you wake up with. And you just feel so good and excited for it all. Like that to me is just what living a great life is and being a great person and just showing up with this greatness through it all.

• 1:28:50Lewis Howes?

  Awesome. Melissa, thanks for being here. Appreciate it.

• 1:28:52Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:28:53Lewis Howes?

  Amazing. Anything you wanted to add or anything?

• 1:28:56Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Oh my God, I feel like we went there in every way, shape and form. And it's so interesting too, because I feel like I told my story so differently. And I love what you pulled out of me.

• 1:29:10Lewis Howes?

  Great. It's beautiful. Thank you. Appreciate it.

• 1:29:12Melissa Wood-Tepperberg?

  Thank you.

• 1:29:12Lewis Howes?

  I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

• 1:29:56Lewis Howes?

  And now it's time to go out there and do something great.