HUMAN DESIGN Explained — How to ALIGN With Your PURPOSE + MANIFEST Effortlessly

Jenna Zoe reveals why most people struggle with personal development despite reading all the books and doing all the spiritual practices. The breakthrough came when she discovered human design, a science-based system that uses neutrinos and planetary positions at your birth to reveal your authentic blueprint. She shares her journey from suppressing her emotions to fit in, playing roles in relationships that weren't really her, and feeling like a failure when things ended, to finally understanding that happiness isn't about the form your life takes but about being proud of who you're becoming along the way. You'll walk away understanding that your random quirks and unexplainable desires aren't accidents, they're the universe speaking to you, and when you stop trying to be like everyone else and start flexing those weird hidden gifts, synchronicities multiply and your real power emerges. Human Design websiteHuman Design bookAlign with Jenna Zoe: The Human Design PodcastJenna on InstagramIn this episode you will:Discover why 50 percent of people are emotional beings who need to stop suppressing their feelings and understand that cycling through highs and lows isn't dysfunction, it's their actual power sourceBreak through the conditioning that makes you choose relationships and careers based on logic instead of trusting the visceral yes or no signals your body gives you every single dayTransform your approach to manifestation by understanding the difference between ego desires that short circuit your energy and soul desires that the universe was already trying to guide you towardUncover why generators who make up 27 percent of the population can only lift others and create real impact when they're doing what genuinely lights them up, not what they think they should be doingMaster the art of making yourself proud by stretching into those uncool random parts of yourself that you've been hiding because you thought they'd never lead anywhere importantFor more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1844For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Dr. Joe Dispenza – greatness.lnk.to/1809SCPrice Pritchett – greatness.lnk.to/1821SCDr. Tara Swart – greatness.lnk.to/1833SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Lewis Howes?

  You and your message around human design has been blowing up over the last few years. More and more people are searching for human design, are studying it, and are learning about how to use it to manifest more and really how to step in their most authentic selves, so that they're not stressed and overwhelmed with life, but they're living in flow and abundance. And so I'm curious, we talked about this a little bit already off camera, but how did human design first come to you? And what started to unlock in your life once you started to be in alignment with your human design?

• 0:41Speaker 01

  I love this question so much because in my twenties, I was like the quintessential spiritual searcher. And I was endlessly, just any type of information I could get my hands on, I just wanted to know all about it, right? And I really, I think from a soul level, you know, we resonate with things when we hear like, you co-create with the universe, or you trust there's something bigger than you that's carrying you. We know these things to be true. And so I think the beginning of my spiritual journey was really about kind of connecting to that. And then I got to a place where I was like, okay, I know these things, but now my life still isn't moving forward. I haven't created my own capabilities, my own power, my own passions. Like, I'm not actualizing stuff, right?

• 1:23Lewis Howes?

  So you had an awareness, okay, yes, the universe, if I work with it, then good things are gonna happen. You had this kind of faith or belief, but you weren't seeing it happen for you yet.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Yes. And so I was reading all the books, and I was listening to all the information, and I was like, searching for that for myself. Like, I wanted to feel like I'm in alignment, I'm living my purpose. But I didn't know how. And so it was only when I met somebody who did my human design chart on me, and it was, it blew me away because it was so practical. And so you do this, and you'll get this. And this is how your energy works. And this is why a morning routine doesn't work for you. And you are built to be inconsistent. And so don't beat yourself up trying to be something you're not, right? And so the whole ethos of human design is like, actually, you already came here knowing how to be your real self.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  And ever since then, we've absorbed all this conditioning that has told us, do this and you'll be loved. Do more of this and you'll be successful. But there isn't a one size fits all. And so what human design does is it gives you your customized kind of practical manual on how you get to being your real self again. And a lot of it is actually going back to how you were before, rather than becoming something.

• 2:39Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:41Lewis Howes?

  Because we're all conditioned by parents, society, friends, culture on how we should be doing things. And we learn certain specific skills or knowledge in our journey of life. And what I'm hearing you say is we need to kind of unlearn or deconstruct these, these systems that we've been built. Some of them may work for people, but others don't work for us. And we all have a specific human design.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:08Lewis Howes?

  How do we know, how many human designs are there? And how do we know which one is ours?

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Okay, so it's not a personality test. So it's not that you're kind of answering questions about yourself. If I can get a little bit nerdy on you, it's actually a very scientifically measured thing. Because there are these things called neutrinos that are subatomic particles, okay? And we're swimming in them right now. There's a hundred billion of them passing through your thumb right now, every second, okay? And all of those neutrinos are generated by the planet in our solar system. Seventy percent of them come from the sun. And these neutrinos are controlled by what's called a weak force. So instead of like a light particle would bounce off this wall, the neutrinos pass through matter,

• 3:58Speaker 01

  okay? And they all have energy to them. And so the day, minute, time, place you're born, there's a specific neutrino stream that you pop into, and that place has a certain energy. And imagine it's like the first breath you take is that it's kind of like seeding you with this energy.

• 4:15Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  And so if you believe that you come here, your soul comes here with a certain way that it wants to be and a certain plan, then that energy that you're seeded with is the exact energy that it chooses to kind of pop in through. And so it's like, your design never changes. It's always the same manual. You're the same true essence underneath it. And you have been since the beginning. And if we can measure the neutrino stream at the time you were born. Then we can tell you about who you came here to be.

• 4:43Lewis Howes?

  Neutrino, is that what it's called?

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 4:45Lewis Howes?

  What, I mean, how do we know what the neutrino frequency is of every second for eternity?

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Similar to astrology, you can do it by measuring the position that the planets are in, because they would hit certain different angles. So instead of saying, for example, Jupiter is in Taurus, like how you say with astrology, you say Jupiter is at this specific angle compared to the Earth.

• 5:08Lewis Howes?

  Huh.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  And through this angle, it comes with a certain flavor of neutrino, for example, so. And it's actually overlaid with the I Ching. Do you ever hear of a guy called Confucius?

• 5:18Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  So he spoke about sixty-four different energies that are available to us as human beings.

• 5:22Lewis Howes?

  Sixty-four energies?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 5:25Lewis Howes?

  Why sixty-four? Do we know?

• 5:27Speaker 01

  That's what they identified as different, um, groups of energies, actually not even energies, but groups of energies that are present to the human experience.

• 5:35Lewis Howes?

  Ah, okay.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  And so what happens is the sixty-four different general angles that the planets come through are flavored with those sixty-four different energies as well. I told you, it gets a little bit nerdy, but that's how they measure it. And the guy who formulated human design basically understood how all of these different systems kind of come together. So the Shakra system, the astrology, the I Ching, and the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, and how they all overlay to kind of show you who you came here to be.

• 6:01Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:02Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so we can figure out, what is it called, neutron?

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Neutrinos.

• 6:07Lewis Howes?

  Neutrinos.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:08Lewis Howes?

  So we, with all this measuring of astrology and some different things, we can figure out the neutrinos

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:15Lewis Howes?

  based on the, essentially the minute we were born.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:18Lewis Howes?

  And so based on the moment we were born, and is it also where we were born?

• 6:22Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 6:23Lewis Howes?

  We can then figure out what our human design is. Is that correct? And so we don't get to choose our human design. It's based on when we were born and where we were born. Does it matter where in the world you're born as well? Or is it more the day and time?

• 6:39Speaker 01

  The specific time and place and day.

• 6:42Lewis Howes?

  Why does the place matter if I was born in, you know, a city in Ohio versus London?

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Because...

• 6:48Lewis Howes?

  Of the same minute

• 6:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:49Lewis Howes?

  that day.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Because the angle that you're on on Earth that's receiving the planet is slightly different. And sometimes the smallest thing can make a huge difference.

• 6:57Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:58Lewis Howes?

  So we could be born at the same minute,

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 7:01Lewis Howes?

  but we wouldn't have the same design?

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Not necessarily, no. We could have certain things that are the same about our design, but maybe your digestion will be different than mine. And that can change by one minute, for example.

• 7:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  So we need the exact same.

• 7:14Lewis Howes?

  So this is like based on astrology, based on science? What would you say this is based on?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  It's like, I think it's an art and a science. I'm, my background is I grew up with, I was such a nerd at school. I was like such a science geek. And so this kind of really was my, I guess, entry into spirituality. And that's why it resonated with me so much because it's so measurable. So it kind of primarily is a science, but it's the science of who you came here to be. So then that makes it inherently spiritual, right?

• 7:40Lewis Howes?

  So what is it, you know, we're in LA right now and this is the land of tarot reading, psychics, astrology, numerology, and I'm assuming many other things. What is the difference between human design versus all those other practices that teach you about who you are and what you should be doing in your life?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  I think for me, the biggest difference is that human design gives you the manual of, it's never going to tell you're going to have three kids, for example. You're going to move next year or any of that kind of stuff. It's like your path is already laid out by your soul. Let's say you have a certain specific karma that you come here to achieve in this specific life. Right? And for you, this is almost like you treat this like a machinery. You treat your system like a machine. You do it without thinking about it. You get the mind out of the way. And that's one of the big core tenets of human design is that the mind is actually very stupid at how we run our lives. The mind is cleverer being used at looking at the outside world, becoming a genius at something because you let this thing iterate itself.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  You let it run on its intuition. You let it run on the digestion it's supposed to digest. You let it run in the right exact environment it's meant to be in. And then your mind is free to become what we currently think is unusual levels of genius in people. Like everybody has the Elon Musk capacity in them, right? But we're just wasting our brain energy on the wrong things. And so human design gives you like, just do this and do it every single day and iterate it. And then see the results happen in your life.

• 9:12Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. So it's giving you the roadmap of your own personality, body, human type. It's giving you the roadmap of saying. Where maybe if you've been told your entire life to live a specific way.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:27Lewis Howes?

  And you're not seeing the results.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:30Lewis Howes?

  If this would say, well, you're actually supposed to be more intuitive or living in this specific way, a different way. It's saying, okay, let me try that that way that I'm supposed to be living in and see what unlocks from there.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 9:40Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is the biggest thing that blocks us from achieving and manifesting more?

• 9:47Speaker 01

  Um, I think almost believing that we are all the same as other people. And then you see someone else's success and you go, I want that. And then you try to get there the same way that they've gotten there.

• 9:59Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  I actually think that, and I was saying this to you, like the, the whole thing about the mind being in charge is so um, limiting because there isn't enough information that you could absorb to guarantee that you would get to where you want to go. Right? If you're going to let the mind control and you're going to let the mind come up with all its theories, it's, it's the best spin doctor we have, right? The mind will, will outdo you every time, right? Whereas actually with these sorts of things, you kind of understand this co-creation with the universe is that the universe has mystical ineffable forces that we also know are at play. This grounds them because it says they come through to you through your body. So for you, for example, like the things that light you up are not random. That's the universe literally speaking to you through that enjoyment.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  But the mind goes, it can't be as simple as just doing what you enjoy. Or the mind goes, no, because you should feel guilty for sometimes not doing things you don't want just to benefit other people, right? So the mind is getting in the way, whereas actually when you understand the mechanisms of how your body is guiding you and directing you, then your mind is free to become a genius.

• 11:05Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. So.

• 11:08Lewis Howes?

  So we're blocking ourselves by going against what our, our human nature, our human design is telling us we should be going into.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:14Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. So what is my human design? What is like kind of the main tenets that my design says about me? And how I should be living my life for optimal results?

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, so there's many different categories of your design. The sort of top line one is what's called your energy type. Now, your energy type is not your personality. It's literally how you are supposed to use your energy to get the most bang out of your buck from that energy that you spend, right? So different people have different ways that they're supposed to use their energy. And we can kind of know this, like there's certain people who they're really full on and then they need to disappear. And then they're really, they're at 200% and then they disappear.

• 11:54Lewis Howes?

  More introverted individuals that want to be by themselves or whatever.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Right, exactly. So.

• 11:59Lewis Howes?

  How many energy types are there?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  There's five.

• 12:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay, what are those?

• 12:02Speaker 01

  So you have generators, manifestors, manifesting generators, projectors, and reflectors.

• 12:11Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  And again, you being a generator doesn't mean that you're similar to other people who are generators.

• 12:18Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:19Lewis Howes?

  Why not?

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Because you're not similar personality wise to them. You just use your energy, your mechanism is the same, right? So imagine there's eight billion people on the planet, there's not five different personalities, right?

• 12:31Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  That's very limiting.

• 12:32Lewis Howes?

  So I'm a generator, is that what I am?

• 12:33Speaker 01

  You're a generator, yes.

• 12:34Lewis Howes?

  Okay, and what's the percentage of the world that is generators?

• 12:38Speaker 01

  It's about 27%.

• 12:41Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Generators.

• 12:43Lewis Howes?

  And then manifestors?

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Eight percent of the population.

• 12:46Lewis Howes?

  Eight percent?

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:48Lewis Howes?

  And then manifesting generators?

• 12:50Speaker 01

  They're about 35% of the population, they're growing.

• 12:53Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  Projectors are about 17%.

• 12:56Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  And reflectors are 1%.

• 12:59Lewis Howes?

  1% reflectors?

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Yes, they're very rare.

• 13:01Lewis Howes?

  So generator and manifesting generators are the most common. So what is, if I'm a generator, based on when I was born or where I was born, what does it say about me that I should be doing to optimize for greatest flow, greatest impact, greatest fulfillment, and greatest opportunity?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  So the word, think about the word generator, okay? When you are doing something you love, what happens is you generate energy for everybody else.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Without trying to give it to them, without going out of your way, it spills out of you and you lift other people up. So you literally alchemize lower energy into higher energy.

• 13:41Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  But in order to do that, you have to be doing something that lights you up.

• 13:44Lewis Howes?

  Right. And if I'm not doing something that lights me up, then what happens?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  You could be helping someone move house, but net-net, you haven't lifted them up. And so as a generator, generators are here to lift the energy of the world. They literally are the fuel of the world, okay, on good energy.

• 14:00Lewis Howes?

  Yes, you're enjoying what you're doing.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  But you have to be enjoying what you're doing.

• 14:03Lewis Howes?

  If not, then it's like, it's not gonna do much.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  You go through the motions, but then you're tired and that person hasn't actually benefited from it.

• 14:09Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  So as a kid, you probably got like well done for going to see grandma when you didn't want to, right?

• 14:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Or like good boy for doing something that was a sacrifice or a duty. And that programs especially generators of feeling like it can't be as good as just doing my joy, right? But the reframe on this is like, there's a reason why your joy is different from someone else's. So why are you feeling guilty that you get the, what you think is the better deal, right? If everyone did what they thought was a better deal, everyone would be better together, right? And imagine what a great functioning society you would have if we trusted that allocation of resources from the universe, right? That's telling you, I'm gonna design your joy for you.

• 14:47Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  And I want you to follow that. Now, shut the mind up, let it do its thing and follow you, which is ruled by your gut. Generators are ruled by their gut, okay? Now, the gut speaks to you in black and white. It says, yes, I'm into it, or no, I'm not. It doesn't know gray areas.

• 15:04Lewis Howes?

  It's either a hell yes or a hell no.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  It's either a hell yes or a hell no.

• 15:07Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. And so it's almost kind of like, okay, if I'm using that framework, is this a hundred percent hell yes? Ten out of ten decision, cites me for everything about it. Doesn't mean there's not gonna be challenges probably.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 15:19Lewis Howes?

  And things to overcome.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 15:21Lewis Howes?

  But I'm excited about the opportunity. That's when I should say yes to it.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:25Lewis Howes?

  But if it's like a five out of a 10, probably don't even have anything to do with that, it sounds like, right? It's like, or, or try to pull back on as many of those things as possible.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 15:34Lewis Howes?

  Maybe I have some responsibilities or obligations I gotta fulfill.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:37Lewis Howes?

  But try to make commitments based down this 100% all in.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 15:42Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  And so wherever you're at, you know, you go at the pace of love and you go, what's doable? Cause obviously we've gotten ourselves to places where we can't just all of a sudden, you know, only do those things.

• 15:51Lewis Howes?

  Stop everything.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the core tenet is for generators, like can you trust that the joy that you have and that you cultivate inside of you? That's actually no matter what your job title is, what you're really doing in terms of exchanging energy with other human beings is you are lifting other people.

• 16:07Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  And the thing is you don't even get to see that because you don't see how someone is before they came to you and then how they are when you leave them. So you don't necessarily see that alchemy in motion, but that's really what you're doing.

• 16:18Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  So you make other people more productive when you're lit up. Generators are very open or welcoming auras, so they make people wanna be around them. They're very kind of like magnetic and juicy and you wanna hug them or you wanna be around them. You wanna be in their energy. They make you more productive. They make you more inspired. That's what a generator does, right? But of course, there's so few generators that are, I guess, giving themselves the permission to just mostly do things that stoke their inner fire. And it's very visceral for you. You know what I mean? Like if you imagine watching yourself from above, when someone says, do you wanna do this? Can you imagine your body literally would go like this or it kinda constricts?

• 16:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I feel it. I feel it in my whole body.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 16:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I'll either open up or I'll shut down.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  That's the key.

• 17:00Lewis Howes?

  But a lot of us tend to go against that intuition or our gut. Is the mind the thing that blocks us the most or is the mind the thing that can also drive us the most?

• 17:14Speaker 01

  It depends what you mean. So your mind can drive you in creative projects. It can drive you in inspiration. It can drive you in coming up with logic and systems and strategies. And that's what I mean, the outside world, like what you create, what you do, all this kinda thing. When it comes to Louis, what do you wanna do tonight? The mind is not so skilled at that.

• 17:37Lewis Howes?

  So what I'm hearing, what I think I'm hearing you say is for me as a energy type of a generator, I should never make a decision based on my mind. I should always make a decision based on how my body is feeling about this thing. Is that correct?

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Yes. So it's actually kind of double for you because your authority, which is the second category in human design is that your intuition is gut as well. So you're called your sacral authority.

• 18:04Lewis Howes?

  It's like double intuition?

• 18:05Speaker 01

  You're like double gut intuition.

• 18:07Lewis Howes?

  I don't know what that means.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  So.

• 18:08Lewis Howes?

  Acting like this is a big deal, but I'm like.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Well, different people have different ways they're meant to listen to their intuition. So some people it's emotional intuition. Some people it's gut intuition. Some people it's your wants. Some people it's your instincts. In kind of common lexicon, we all think that's the same thing, but it actually shows up different for different people. Yes.

• 18:26Lewis Howes?

  So what am I then?

• 18:27Speaker 01

  So your sacral gut intuition.

• 18:29Lewis Howes?

  Sacral.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. So think about that sacrum. It's like all about desire. Do I want it? Yes or no? So.

• 18:35Lewis Howes?

  So I see, I really need to be listening to this feeling.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Yes. You're like, this excites me or no, it doesn't. And what's interesting, because the gut is black and white, open ended questions are not great for you. So if I say to you, where do you want to go tonight for dinner? If I'm like, do you want sushi or Mexican? Easier.

• 18:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Cause you narrow it down. So actually for you, for your decision making in your life, it's also easier if you narrow down your choices whenever you're conflicted.

• 18:59Lewis Howes?

  It's very black and white. It's very black and white, which can be, which could seem extreme. And I have this conversation with, uh, my partner, Matt, my business partner here, where I'm like, we need to shut this entire thing down from like some project or we need to go all in on this thing and stop everything else right now. It's kind of like extreme sometimes. He's like, slow it down a little bit, like let's, let's take some time on this. Let's organize our thoughts. I'm like, no, I'm done with this. Or like, I'm all in.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 19:28Lewis Howes?

  Um, yeah. And so it's, it sounds like. Yes, lean on that, but also make sure that I'm taking care of responsibilities and not just starting and stopping all these things all at once.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Well, he also might be emotional intuition, which means he needs to take his time.

• 19:43Lewis Howes?

  He does, and he needs to analyze everything that could go wrong.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 19:48Lewis Howes?

  And all like the potential, you know, challenges and things like that. I'm just like, no, it's gonna work. Let's make it work.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Right. But look how beautiful if you both understand each other's manual, then you're not thinking that one of you is doing it wrong and you honor each other's process.

• 20:00Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  And then you know when something is aligned is when both of you arrive at the same conclusion. So it works really well with teams too, because you know, okay, I know you're not trying to hold me back by going through all the fears first. I know you're doing your own process so that you figure out your role in this, and I'm doing my way. And then let's kind of like let the chips fall where they may, instead of being like, we have to have this specific process that everyone at work uses. It's like, okay, each one kind of combines in a different way. So it's an interesting, it's a very interesting way for optimizing how you work with people.

• 20:31Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting. How do we, I mean, there's a lot of people that are into self-help, personal growth, spirituality, that seem to be struggling still, that seem to be suffering, struggling, constantly getting into bad projects, bad relationships. Why do you think so many people suffer or struggle who are also in personal development? And they haven't figured out how to get through to the next level?

• 20:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. I love this question because I think it's so, it's so pertinent for this time. I think we've gone through such an awakening of spirituality. But I guess I feel like a lot of people that I speak to, it's almost like they need to feel like I'm taking you into account and then doing your personal development based on what is present in you, right? Rather than kind of funneling us into these things where, I don't know, I felt like more of a failure when I was trying to do all the spiritual stuff and feeling like I wasn't moving my life forward, right? When I found this thing of like, do this and do this and don't just take me on a word, but see if your life actually changes, and it did.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  And then from seeing so many testimonials of people just like using this practical manual, that's when I think it empowers you because you feel like you're capable of doing something. Rather than just like, here's my thing, trust the universe, go and do your thing and think abundantly.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  How am I not thinking abundantly? How does abundant thinking look on me? How do I use my specific gifts? Right? How do I? If I want to be a nurse, what's the best kind of nurse for me to be based on who I am and how I bring to the table? Right? Because you might be a nurse where you're going to be more in your power and more capable and more valued by being nurturing and really like connecting to that part of you. Or you might be the nurse who's very good at like the ops and the organization and the whatever. Right? So what's nice about this is like it makes you feel more in touch with your personal power because you know what to bring, you know what to lead with. And that subconsciously is what people will value you for the most, even if they don't know how. We're all reading each other's energy without knowing what we're doing.

• 22:34Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  But we'll be like, this person is someone who's capable, who I trust, who seems good at what they do. We gravitate towards people like that. Right? And so this is like, everybody is equally genius and powerful, but you have to flex it. And these are things that you're going to flex. You're going to get more energy out of. You're going to get more bang for your buck out of, rather than the best nurses are this, the best moms are this.

• 22:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. There's what? Eight billion people in the world right now? And there's probably a lot of them, a majority of them, that will never know their human design. Right? They're never going to go through the assessment. And I guess it's not an assessment, but the, what do you call it? Like when they-

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Running a chart?

• 23:08Lewis Howes?

  Running a chart. They're probably, probably most people are never going to do that in the world. So for those that don't know their own human design, how do they fully tap into this? Really this wisdom, this knowledge, this power in order to live a more fulfilling, meaningful life? And if they don't know their human design, are they just doomed forever? Or do they trust their gut on things better? Like, how do they know where they're supposed to go? What the roadmap is for them for creating a meaningful, fulfilling life?

• 23:44Speaker 01

  I think the number one thing is that- We have these very homogenized ideas of the good ways to be, the cool ways to be, the very few things that we've been taught are gonna lead us to be successful or to be lovable. Right? So people who we call geniuses are usually like artistically creative, or they're really good at some kind of like tech thing, or they're good at athletic prowess.

• 24:07Lewis Howes?

  They're gifted in some way, yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  Those three things, okay? No one is ever gonna raise someone and say, "The amount of care that you have for people is your USP", and that's gonna make you crazy insanely successful, right? We're not brought up that way, right? In a similar way, you're not brought up to say, "Okay, well, as a mom, if you're very good at strategizing, then that's gonna make you the best mom that you can be", right? But if you can think about those random little things that you maybe think are uncool, or that might not lead you to anything, and you can back those things, I think you can just do that and not know anything about your design, and just take a bet on those like unusual little pockets that aren't everywhere.

• 24:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, these are the underappreciated gifts that a lot of people have. You know, when I started this show, I remember thinking to myself, "I have no idea how to like run a podcast or do the, you know, to do this thing. It's not what I was skilled to do", but I've always been fascinated by people and just curious, and always asked these weird, random questions. And I was like, "Well, maybe there's something from this", so I just tapped into asking weird, random questions, and people seemed to like it. But I was listening to that thing within me, like, "Okay, here's like a hidden gift", that I don't think is valuable, but let's see where it goes.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:27Lewis Howes?

  By going into that, it worked out for me.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:31Lewis Howes?

  So it's, what I'm hearing you say is like, "Try to find the hidden gifts within you that maybe don't seem celebrated"

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 25:38Lewis Howes?

  "by others all the time."

• 25:39Speaker 01

  And it's risky. I say that lightly, but it's a huge risk, because you, your mind again, is gonna say, "No, but how are you ever gonna support yourself on that? How are you ever gonna make money? No one's gonna think you're cool. Like, what are you doing?" And to be honest with you, The fact that we even think there are certain guarantees is an illusion anyway to life.

• 25:59Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 25:59Speaker 01

  So really, this is actually working with reality that everything is an unknown, right? But it's really hard and it's the daily practice of human designers. Like again, like I said, your, your design doesn't change, but every single day to listen to your gut on every single thing, it's hard and you have to do it in new pockets of your life, right? And you have to relearn it and relearn it and get to another level with it and then refine. So this mind thing of like, are you sure? Are you not crazy? Like when I first sat my parents down and told them I was closing my food business to read Human Design. I mean, I literally thought my highest aspiration would be like they wheel me out on the lottery with a wig and I read the, the lucky numbers.

• 26:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  It wasn't cool. It wasn't a thing. It was, this is eight, nine years ago now, right? So I took a chance on that random thing that I didn't know where it was going to lead me, right? And it's not the, the career choice that is going to take us far. It's how much we show up and be our most kind of actualized, present, powerful, capable, liking who we are along the way. Like that's the thing that's the magic in people, right? It doesn't actually matter what you're doing. You can make a fortune out of gardening if you do it the right way.

• 27:08Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  If you get that zing with it, you know?

• 27:10Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely, yeah. I think I saw one of your videos on Instagram, you talking about like really leaning into

• 27:16Lewis Howes?

  your passion in terms of like being passionate about what you're doing and being excited about it. Because that unlocks new pathways, new doors for you when you're living into that. When we're doing something that I feel like we're skilled at, but we don't fully fall in love with. We're kind of in resistance still. Like, okay, yes, I have this talent over here, but my, my intuition is not telling me that it's what I want to do with my time. You know, or maybe like I used to be really good at baseball for a long time. But then when I turned 17, I just didn't have the, the energy for it anymore. I just didn't care enough about it to keep pursuing it. And I started to pursue track and field. And great things came out of that decision to leave something I had talent in to pursue something that I was more excited about.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:02Lewis Howes?

  And I think it's learning how to trust like the timing of this as well, when to do this. What about in relationships, you know? How have you learned? About what is a good relationship, whether it be in business partnerships or career or an intimacy based on human design.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  Okay, so people always ask about like, are generators compatible with this or that or whatever? Now, from a human design perspective, if you have chemistry with somebody, you're compatible. You just need to learn the other person so that there is no me trying to change you or us trying to be on the same page or me misunderstanding the very innocent reasons why you do something that I'm thinking you're sitting down on that chair for a different motivation than you would be sitting down on that chair, right? So anybody's compatible with anybody if you're drawn to that person. For the time, for the exact amount of time, you still are drawn to that person, right? But if you can learn someone else's manual, for example, the manifesting generators are very fast people, right? And so if you're with, if you're a projector

• 29:04Speaker 01

  who's with a manifesting generator to honor each other's different speeds, that already gets rid of so much friction, right? Or if you understand that somebody, for example, my mom. When I did a reading for my mom for the first time and I saw her main gift, everybody has one gift in their life that's their main thing they came here to do. When I saw her main gift was about kind of almost being a little bit abrasive and abrupt in order to shake people out of things. So my mom would be the person who like, she'll see someone wheeling a baby down the street and she's like, put a hat on that baby, you know? And I always used to think that was rude and inappropriate. But in a way, if you're doing it with the right consciousness, that's obviously another thing. It's like the way that you animate it. There's a purpose for every single role that people play in society, right? And so when you know the reason why someone is the way they are,

• 29:49Speaker 01

  you're not judging them anymore. You're not thinking that they're wrong. You're not trying to fit them in to be more like you. And what happens with our differences, if we know them, then I can actually vicariously enjoy yours through you when I'm not threatened by them, when I don't think that I have to be more like you or you have to be more like me and I'm trying to think who's better or worse. So I'm like, isn't that so beautiful that your main gift is? You know, whatever it is, well, I know what yours are.

• 30:13Lewis Howes?

  What is my main gift?

• 30:14Speaker 01

  So your main gift is number thirty-six, and that's turning darkness into light.

• 30:18Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 30:19Speaker 01

  So a lot of the stuff that you're here to do is to pull out from the places that people don't necessarily look at or talk about, and to bring them into awareness, to alchemize things that are maybe more negative into more positive things. And then your secondary one, and they play nicely together, is really about bonding with people and breaking through barriers, which, I mean, you clearly do. I've known you for an hour, and you're very good at it, right? So those two things, I know that I don't have to be them, because you're really good at them, and I'm good at other things.

• 30:48Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  And then you actually just like, literally, you thrive off seeing other people in their gifts. It's like so much fun, you know? So in relationships and in business partnerships, you can do the same thing. We're like, it's so cool how you do that, and yet there's no part of me that thinks I have to be the same way.

• 31:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  So the harmony in that is like, life-changing.

• 31:09Lewis Howes?

  I mean, you were essentially learning and studying human design for the last, what, eight or nine years, right? You were also in a relationship during that time at some point. So how did you, I think you were in a relationship for four years, you said. So how did you know, when you're in the relationship, when it was, there was alignment with the relationship versus, all right, there's not alignment? Or did you miss something in the relationship that you weren't following your own kind of wisdom, your own intuition?

• 31:38Speaker 01

  Okay, so my intuition is emotional, which means that we have to make decisions based on how things make us feel, like happy or sad, literally that, that black and white, right? So either we're up here or we're down here. And fifty percent of the population is emotional, which is crazy.

• 31:55Lewis Howes?

  So what's your energy type?

• 31:56Speaker 01

  I'm a projector.

• 31:57Lewis Howes?

  Projector?

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:57Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  But my emotional intuition... What it says is, again, you don't need to understand with your mind why your intuition is telling you what it's telling you. That's where we trip up. Intuition, you just have to listen to it.

• 32:11Lewis Howes?

  Just trust it.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Just trust it.

• 32:13Lewis Howes?

  Don't try to understand it.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Don't try to understand it. So what our mind does, it comes in secondary and goes, these are the reasons why, and this is the logic, and this was this, and this is that, and it wasn't aligned, and he was this and that, da, da, da, da. That's all noise. So.

• 32:26Lewis Howes?

  That's why you hear a lot of women that say, he looked great on paper.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:29Lewis Howes?

  He had all the things that, and my parents thought this was awesome, the school he went to, where he worked, like, everything seemed to line up, but I just didn't have something inside of me that wanted to come in, right?

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:41Lewis Howes?

  Because that's what a lot of women say, right?

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's making decisions with the mind rather than with the body.

• 32:46Lewis Howes?

  Why do so many people make the decisions with the mind rather than the body?

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Well, to get a little bit historical on you, if you think about where humanity has been for the last couple hundred years, right? It has been a lot of top-down sort of control. And a population is easier to convince you all to go to war and to, you know, do certain things. If this is the logic, we all have to agree on the logic, there's one objective reality, let's all get on the same page, rather than there is no objective reality. We're all just here bumping up against each other, doing our random things. That's a nightmare, right? For a society.

• 33:25Lewis Howes?

  There's gotta be some order and some organization somewhere, right?

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, but when you think about it, then the people who are in government are supposed to be the people who are very good at coming up with common laws, they're very good people who are being balanced, who are being fair, who come up with how people interact and come together, but giving people their freedom. So when you're trying to suppress a culture with a religious, um, homogenized belief, then there is this thing that we all, that is logic, that gets handed down to us, that you have to do what makes sense to other people. And that's how you get your love and belonging from the tribe, is by justifying that what you're doing is for the same reasons that everyone else would want to do the same things.

• 34:03Lewis Howes?

  So how can women specifically make better decisions in choosing the right male partner for them? If they want to choose a male partner?

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:13Lewis Howes?

  How can women choose better in relationships?

• 34:16Speaker 01

  This is gonna sound a little crazy, but one of the other big conditionings that we have is that we have to make, um, the right decision that we ensure is gonna make our relationship last forever, and that's a good relationship.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  What you actually want from that is to feel the most amount of love. Right? You want to be in love and in the energy of love every single day of your life. So from that perspective, whether that changes twenty times or once, doesn't really matter. So for me, that relationship was correct for as long as it lasted. Because it grew the amount of love I had in my life.

• 34:51Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's correct.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Until my emotions started telling me otherwise.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  And am I better off because of that relationship? Am I more open-hearted because of that relationship? Am I more happy with who I am? Yes, right? So that was not a terrible relationship. That was a life showing me that was a perfect amount for it to last.

• 35:14Lewis Howes?

  Oh, okay.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  So a big thing to get rid of is I have to know how my future is going to look in order for me to be happy. Actually, you just need to be happy today. And then your tomorrow will start off better, and that will compound. And then it doesn't matter about the form that it takes because the inside is going to be more actualized, more evolved, more in love, more open-hearted, more all the things that we actually want, right?

• 35:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  So it comes from kind of letting go of this guarantee to micromanage how the life is going to unfold for you to think of how it needs to look for you to be happy and to do the happiness today and then to trust that that's what activates the rest of the work, the ninety percent of the unseen forces kind of coming together to make things happen the way that

• 35:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  that we can't engineer, like opportunities, synchronicities, meeting people out of nowhere, stuff that we couldn't even do if we were the best minds in the planet, right?

• 36:06Lewis Howes?

  You know, there is some, there's something to choosing to be positive and happy and grateful for certain elements of your life and trying to maximize that. Because when we maximize that energy, synchronicities unfold, right? These unseen forces for good show up in our life. Or they, they block us from something bad essentially happening, right? Or they, they move us in a different direction. But why do you think there are certain people who seem to have it all but are still choosing to be unhappy and not choosing to be grateful for what they have? They're complaining or feeling entitled for what they don't have. Why do you think that happens?

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Um, I think that's one of those things where there's many different causes for one symptom. Right, so on the outside, this person you're saying is ungrateful or unhappy. The number one reason I would say is that if you haven't liked who you've become along the way of getting to what you want, then that's never going to be a happy result, right? You can't get to joy if you don't pave it along the way with feeling like you love being who you are. And you've probably been in situations like this in your life before where maybe things are hitting the fan, but you still love the fact that you have your own back through it. And there's this incredible piece of like, okay, well, we're on this adventure of life. The soul wants to experience everything.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Let's lean into this, knowing that I think I'm gonna make sure that I'm okay, right? And that weirdly transforms even the most negative experiences into these like fascinations. And I think if you don't know how to do that, then that's already a big, that really takes away from your happiness. The second thing is also that, again, the brain is addicted to finding something to focus on, right? And it's, and it could be being focused on creativity, but when it's turned inwards, it's gonna look for problems, it's gonna look for unhappiness. That's what's gonna happen when you let it run amok in an area that it's not supposed to run amok in. And the third one is, I think, is an addiction that we're being programmed with from the outside conditioning of, you know, you should find reasons to be unhappy.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  Or you grew up around people who were that way and you need to decondition from that automatic pattern. That again, like you were saying in the beginning with your parents that condition you. Even if they weren't doing it on purpose, it's passed down until you have to be the one that says, you know what, let me not just decide to be rid of it, but let me practice being rid of it today. How would I move through my day when I catch this thing come in and I go, uh, uh, uh, uh, what else would I do instead? And you might feel like an imposter the first time you do it because it's not gonna feel natural. Right. But even if you can just flex it slightly, the universe goes, oh, look who's trying to be more than selves, let me go help this person out.

• 38:54Lewis Howes?

  What was the thing you had to decondition over the last 10 years? That was running your life the most.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  I think the emotional piece is a really big piece. And this is, like I said to you, 50% of the population are what's called emotional beings. So you're what's called non-emotional, meaning when you're by yourself, you're cool, calm and collected. It's only when the world comes to you, or when people come to you, or a situation comes to you, you feel a certain way. When you're emotional, you can wake up and be happy and feel on top of the world. Same exact situation the next day and you feel totally different. And for me, I was really brought up when I was in a low mood. What's wrong with you? Why are you upset? Smile, don't be a sport brat. You know, I'm English, right? So don't be a sport brat. And for me, it was a real judgment about having negative emotions.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  And I still struggle with it today. I'm not rid of it by any stretch of the imagination. I just am more aware of it, so I have levity around when I'm doing it to myself.

• 39:56Lewis Howes?

  Got you. So you're emotional, I'm non-emotional.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  You're non-emotional.

• 39:59Lewis Howes?

  So explain that again, someone who's emotional versus non-emotional.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you don't generate your own emotions. You are like a mirror and a sponge to the world around you. So this, actually, when we talk about people who are empaths, we really are talking about, in a strict version, we're talking about non-emotionals. Because you're able to feel what I'm feeling. Because I have my own emotional roller coaster going on, I'm actually not able to viscerally tap into your emotions.

• 40:25Lewis Howes?

  As an emotional person?

• 40:26Speaker 01

  As an emotional person.

• 40:27Lewis Howes?

  Non-emotional person, I can understand your emotions.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  You can feel my emotions.

• 40:31Lewis Howes?

  That resonates. I feel like I can feel everyone's energy.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 40:34Lewis Howes?

  And something that I saw on your Instagram, when you were talking about empaths, you said, "We shouldn't be absorbing, we should be observing."

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 40:43Lewis Howes?

  That's something you said recently. Don't absorb others' emotions, observe.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 40:48Lewis Howes?

  And I think that's interesting because empaths take on the weight of anyone around them.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:53Lewis Howes?

  And they feel it and they feel emotionally drained, where they have no energy if they absorb it.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:59Lewis Howes?

  So it's learning to notice someone's energy and still be empathetic, but don't absorb it, right? Observe, connect, but don't let it penetrate your energy center. Don't let it penetrate your soul to where you're now in that state of being as well.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 41:14Lewis Howes?

  That's a hard thing for a lot of people who are in that non-emotional empath state of being.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. It is, and it's it's an interesting one to understand that, you know, when you're not absorbing my stuff, you would be able to show me what I'm feeling, because I'm so mired in it, I have no idea what's going on some of the time. So you would magnify and be able to show me what's going on with me, if you're not then taking it on. So let's say, for example, I am an emotional. I wake up, and let's say I'm happy today. I'm two out of ten happy, okay?

• 41:48Lewis Howes?

  Ten out of ten happy, you said?

• 41:49Speaker 01

  I let's say, for example, I'm two.

• 41:50Lewis Howes?

  Oh, two out of ten, you're not happy.

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Because it goes on a it goes on a scale, right? So let's say, one day, I'm on a two out of ten. I walk in the room, and I see you six out of ten happy. I'm like, you look happy today. And you've become happy because you felt what I've done, and you magnified it, right? And that's beautiful, but I can see it more clearly through you than I can through me.

• 42:07Lewis Howes?

  Got it.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  But that also works on the other side, too, where a lot of non-emotionals get called the most emotional people. Because if I walk in the room two out of ten sad.

• 42:15Lewis Howes?

  Two is a, one is the hi- sad?

• 42:18Speaker 01

  One is less, like, let's say, two out of ten.

• 42:19Lewis Howes?

  Ten is the highest, gotcha.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  So let's say I'm two out of ten sad that day, okay? I walk in the room, you, all of a sudden, get in a bad mood. And I'm like, what's wrong with you? Why are you in a bad mood? And you don't know, because you it wasn't there before I walked in, right? You're just able to reflect to me what I'm not even aware of.

• 42:37Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  If we have that languaging, then I can be like, thank you so much for showing me what was going on with me today. And instead of going, what's wrong with you? Right? Because you guys are the are the open, right? You're the open emotional. And so you feel whatever else is going on in the world.

• 42:51Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  And we're just like, playing our own songs, completely unaware.

• 42:57Lewis Howes?

  I wonder what my fiance is. She's, I can't remember if she's a manifestor, or she, I think she's a non-specific manifestor. I don't know if that's a thing, but maybe it's manifestor generator.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:06Lewis Howes?

  But I don't know, but she's positive ninety percent of the time. Like, she is in a positive, joyful, grateful state. Consistently. It's very rare for her to be low, low energy.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:20Lewis Howes?

  Which really is nice for me. Cause I think I've always in the past been in relationships where I didn't know what I was gonna get. And it was harder for me because I would absorb energy. And I would shield it and I would allow it to drain me. Now I've learned how to observe differently and just accept people for where they're at and be there for them in a different way as opposed to taking on their pain and sorrow and trying to like fix it. That was a wound that I had to learn how to heal. But being in a relationship with someone who is truly grateful for life, that truly loves her life is a joy. It is like a gift that I hope everyone can experience at some point because

• 44:03Lewis Howes?

  it's, it's, it's challenging to be with someone that isn't a happy person.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:09Lewis Howes?

  Consistently. It just is. And it's hard to be with someone for years who you don't know how to help them become happier.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:17Lewis Howes?

  And that's something that I experienced because I just, I chose based on a wound and nothing wrong with them, but just felt like it was always harder because they weren't happy.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:26Lewis Howes?

  And so I hope everyone can get to that state. You just unlock more when you, when you are a hap- generally happier person. But I feel like a lot of people struggle with happiness. A lot of people suffer and struggle with feeling worthy of happiness, of learning how to believe they're a good person, of believing they're enough. Why do you think we struggle so much with being happy? And how can we learn to love ourselves deeper so that we are happier?

• 44:58Speaker 01

  I love that question. So I think there's two different kinds of levels of happiness. So for example, I could be in a low mood today, but still be so fulfilled and almost loving watching that process of waking up, just being more like me today. But that me state can mean like, still fine. You know what I mean? So there's two, there's almost like one that's like the bottom of the ocean. That's like your core fulfillment, joy to be alive, like grateful, like, oh my God, this is like, this is an adventure. You know what I mean? Like, let me just observe what's going on today and it's all interesting and all beautiful and so amazing, right? That level of happiness, I think, really comes from being who you're supposed to be, you know, and being happy with who you are. And almost feeling like you're doing what brings you.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  The self-esteem, the fulfillment, the giving and receiving in the way that you're supposed to, right? I think when you give to the world in a way that you feel like there is an abundance more coming from it, it changes your whole worldview. Because you're like, there's so much more where that came from. I'm so happy to serve. I love giving to people. I love seeing how I get received when I give to people. It kind of is like the genie wishing for one wish and then you get tons more back, right? When you're tapped into like, this is, I'm in my magic. So then I don't just know that I'm special from here, but I feel that I'm special every single day because I know that I have something I've cultivated and given energy to that I really feel like is me. It's like my home frequency. I can come back to my base of what my value add is in this world, right?

• 46:25Speaker 01

  So I think that's number one is like, there's so much deeper levels of happiness that are available to you. If you can break away from constantly telling yourself you have to be like everybody else, constantly trying to get the love and belonging, the kind of short-term cookies. You can kind of forego them and put the sort of time in to take the risk to get it from the sort of longer-term value, giving people value rather than what can I get out of life so quickly?

• 46:49Lewis Howes?

  Those cookies are so good. Cookies are so good in a moment, just, oh man, I love those cookies. But there's so much, there's so much greater benefit when you can delay, or at least not every day have to go for the cookies. I'm not saying never enjoy it, but you know, as a metaphor, just not going for the pleasure every single day.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:09Lewis Howes?

  Really going for a state of long-term happiness and fulfillment.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. Comes down to making yourself proud of who you are, I think.

• 47:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  And that feeling is not replaceable by any other thing, I don't think.

• 47:21Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  I think when you're like, I really am happy, almost like you're an apparent being like, you know what, that was a hard decision, but really, I'm impressed with you. I think that is the ultimate. If you want to be happy, you make yourself proud of you.

• 47:35Lewis Howes?

  A hundred percent. When was the time in the last decade you were the least proud of you? And at your lowest energy state?

• 47:42Speaker 01

  I think the end of that, the ending of that relationship was very difficult for me because another thing that I was really conditioned with, my mom is Indian. And my parents have been married forever. And one of the things I really was conditioned with is that it's if a relationship goes well, you've done well. Like it's your job as a woman to make a good relationship. And so you fail, you're the failure if you don't make it work.

• 48:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  That was a big one for me. So that was a really, really hard time of being like, am I, am I defected as a woman? Am I not desirable enough? Did I not do enough? Was I not more malleable? Should I have, you know, been more flexible or rolled down more, you know, whatever, all those different stories that you can create. I think that was a really big one for me. But I don't think I would have undone that conditioning if I hadn't gone through that experience.

• 48:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So you felt like you were a failure with the relationship ending?

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  I felt like it was on me. I think a lot of women go through that too.

• 48:45Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 48:45Speaker 01

  I think they feel responsible for making a relationship go well.

• 48:49Lewis Howes?

  Where do you, I mean, there's something to be said for, you know, people who are in relationships, relationships for decades that are like, listen, we had some hard seasons, some hard years. And we could have easily just said, you know what, this isn't working or some bad stuff happened and we should have left. But we decided to stay together and we're so grateful 10, 20, 30 years later that we did. Because every relationship has some seasons.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:17Lewis Howes?

  But then there's also, like, I see that point of view, but then I'm also like, okay, if your body is rejecting something and it's telling you this is not working and I'm giving it my all and I'm trying and we're going to therapy and you're really trying to commit to make it work, but it's you're rejecting it and it's just a disconnect. I also see the benefit and the value and consciously uncoupling. And saying, listen, we gotta go, this isn't working.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:42Lewis Howes?

  Let's take some time and maybe we come back together in the future.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:45Lewis Howes?

  And I don't think there's a right or wrong either way.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 49:47Lewis Howes?

  I don't think it's like you're a failure if you didn't go through all the hard times and go for 30, 40 years and make it out beautiful, holding hands as like 90 year olds on the other side. Because you could also be together for a long time and be miserable.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 50:00Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's like, and there's a lot of probably Indian families. That to stay together even though they don't fully love and have a fullness of life.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 50:09Lewis Howes?

  Right? I'm sure you see both.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Completely. And that's the thing, and I love that you've touched on this because that's the thing about human design is that we're always trying to look for, always tough it out or leave the second you're ready. But actually, everyone's on a different path.

• 50:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  So that advice isn't going to work for everybody. And you know, you're kind of, I guess, well predisposed to seeing this because you're very open in your chart I had a look at. You're very open in your mind. So it's always about kind of not having your fixed opinion on things. It's always about saying, yeah, I could see that maybe. Sure. I don't know. Could be wrong, could be right. Let's see. Right? And that's one of your gifts. And I think that's one of the things is that we're always trying to find the right way to do life and then wronging everybody else who's not fitting into that directive and say, instead of saying, we are all on radically different journeys, journeys no one else can even ever even come close to understanding. So us using our, again, using our mental energy on trying to

• 51:04Speaker 01

  find some kind of system that makes us all be on the same thing or same level of understanding or same goal or it's just a moot exercise, you know?

• 51:14Lewis Howes?

  And I think that the challenge or the opportunity we all get to face is are we going to live our life trying to please everyone else based on our decisions or lack of decisions? Or feeling guilty and bad and wrong for decisions we make that others don't approve of?

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:30Lewis Howes?

  Because it's really hard to make decisions if we're thinking, why don't want people to be upset at me?

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:36Lewis Howes?

  And I did that for a long time. I stayed in relationships too long that I shouldn't have. I got out of stuff that I probably shouldn't have because I was worried about the opinions of others.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:46Lewis Howes?

  So you felt like you were in a low part at the end of that relationship because you felt like a failure.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  I felt like I wasn't being my best self.

• 51:53Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I felt like it wasn't bringing out the best in me and therefore I shamed myself for that because it's not good to feel like you're not happy with how you're being, right?

• 51:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  And and also, yeah, I really had to contend with like, if I end this, then am I stupid? Am I making a really bad decision? Because again, like you were saying, he's great on people. We're good enough together. My whole family loves him. He's successful. He's this, he's that.

• 52:17Lewis Howes?

  Nice to me. He's the whatever it is. Yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  All that stuff, you know?

• 52:21Lewis Howes?

  What was in telling you like this isn't in alignment or this isn't the right thing for me right now? What was telling you? Was it your intuition? Was it your gut? Was it just like you didn't feel like you were in your purpose or your joy? How were you able to know that, okay, I'd given this enough time? And the season is ready to move on to the next thing?

• 52:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I can come up with a lot of logical reasons for you. But I think, I think ultimately, if I watched myself in net-net, my emotional state was more negative than positive.

• 52:52Lewis Howes?

  In the relationship.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Towards the end. So then that kind of tells you, again, it's like the body knows, right? Like it just, it's so tangible. We just need to watch ourselves as if from above and say, does this person look like a thriving? Does it look like it's soothing you or not? And you don't need to be able to explain it away.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  On a more, I guess, on a more logical level. I went in with certain roles that I played that were, again, if we're always trying to be who we came here to be, they weren't ultimately part of who I was, right?

• 53:25Lewis Howes?

  They weren't serving you.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 53:26Lewis Howes?

  Or your future you, your highest you.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 53:29Lewis Howes?

  So you went in playing certain roles in a relationship and then you realize this isn't sustainable? This isn't me? So it was kind of like your responsibility.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:37Lewis Howes?

  For being those roles. Cause you were almost.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Completely.

• 53:40Lewis Howes?

  Inauthentic in a sense, right?

• 53:42Speaker 01

  And those are my cookies. Look how good of a girlfriend I am. Look how supportive I am. Look, you know what I mean? The cookies are sometimes a little hidden like that, right? It's like, look how much I'm helping this person be successful. That's so much more easy than trying to be successful on my own, right?

• 53:57Lewis Howes?

  So from, I mean, I don't know anything about the relationship, but if I was in that and I'd be like, wow, okay, this person, this is who this person is. They're showing up in this way and now they're trying to be something different. It might be confusing.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  Very.

• 54:08Lewis Howes?

  For the guy.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Oh, no, very.

• 54:09Lewis Howes?

  So it's.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Beyond.

• 54:11Lewis Howes?

  Right, he's probably like, wait a minute, you were super supportive. And now something is shifting and now you're trying to be this other thing? That's not, you know, who are you?

• 54:19Speaker 01

  Oh, I played such a good trophy wife and I was good at it. Like you said, like with the previous sport, like I was good at it, right? So you can't blame, you have to, I think ultimate self-responsibility gives you ultimate power.

• 54:30Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  Over your own life. You absolutely, everything is for your own movie. So it's always I, I, I, I, I. I played the good role. I played the thing and therefore I got out of it what I put in.

• 54:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  It doesn't matter about who the character is that I was playing with. I would have played that character on whoever it was.

• 54:46Lewis Howes?

  For anyone, until you learn the lesson.

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 54:48Lewis Howes?

  That this wasn't, I mean, maybe it's like, okay, I can be this sometimes, but this is not the role I'm supposed to be playing in my life right now. Is that what it sounds like? This is interesting. But here's, here's the other interesting thing. You'd been studying human design for, I guess, three to five years by that point already. So what were you not listening to with your own study and practice of human design?

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 55:14Lewis Howes?

  What was your human design telling you to do that you were directly going against?

• 55:19Speaker 01

  This is really interesting. I think the emotional piece again, actually, with us, because I was so suppressing my own, my joy and my sadness.

• 55:28Lewis Howes?

  You were suppressing it?

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Suppressing.

• 55:30Lewis Howes?

  Why were you suppressing joy?

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Because I think England is a little different than America.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  You know, you can't be too, there were certain situations where I felt like, and therefore was told, but that's because I felt like it, right? That's why it actualized in the outside world. You can't just, you can't just drink tea at midnight and just be dancing on the, on the table by yourself. Like, you know, have some alcohol, fit in, like, sit down and be cool and have conversations. And, you know, I, I felt this like want to be kind of like, you know, unboundedly joyful for no reason that I suppressed. And I also suppressed tears, right?

• 56:06Lewis Howes?

  Cause you're, cause friends or society in England was like, oh, don't be too happy.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Like, you're wacky. That's crazy. Yeah.

• 56:12Lewis Howes?

  Relax a little bit.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't.

• 56:14Lewis Howes?

  And when you were emotional or crying, they were like, what are you crying for? You know, they couldn't take it either way, the extremes.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:20Lewis Howes?

  Kind of keep it in the middle of this, not surfacey, but kind of not fully authentic.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:25Lewis Howes?

  Way of being, is what I'm hearing you say.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 56:27Lewis Howes?

  At least the people you're with or the, the places you're around.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:31Lewis Howes?

  So you were suppressing both emotions.

• 56:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:34Lewis Howes?

  All to enjoy.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  To be more palatable.

• 56:36Lewis Howes?

  To be more accepted or fit in. Interesting.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  And now.

• 56:39Lewis Howes?

  To try to belong.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:41Lewis Howes?

  But you weren't being fully authentic or vulnerable.

• 56:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 56:44Lewis Howes?

  And so you weren't actually belonging at all. Cause you weren't belonging to yourself.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  And if you, if you take it in this frame, like you're asking me, the emotion is your motor center as an emotional being, right? When you're an emotional being, emotions is your power center. Comes from your solar plexus, right?

• 57:02Lewis Howes?

  And you took it away.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  So when you take that away, firstly, you have less energy. Second of all, you can't make decisions, the correct decisions in your life. And you're suppressing all of your life force from directing your life forwards. If you imagine, okay, there was already certain things that were supposed to be in place to move my life forward for me from the universe, just like there is for all of us. You're literally holding them back from just, instead of just letting them, unleashing them, right? Letting your destiny move through you, right? Because you're just holding yourself back because you're saying, this is not a good way to be. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be an emotional being. Okay, so you're, you're constricting all of that life force inside of you instead of letting it out.

• 57:40Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 57:41Speaker 01

  So then you stay small.

• 57:43Lewis Howes?

  And you don't use your voice.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  That's all.

• 57:48Lewis Howes?

  You didn't like, you used your voice at all?

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Not until the end. And then I think I'd suppressed it so much that it came out completely, um, how do you put this? Um, disproportionate. You know, when you keep so many things inside?

• 58:01Lewis Howes?

  Extreme.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, you, you say some, well, not even extreme, but you say, I'm not happy. And someone's like, what do you mean you're not happy? It's come out of nowhere, like.

• 58:08Lewis Howes?

  You seemed happy the last few years, yeah.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  You know, and that's unfair to do on a person.

• 58:12Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh, yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Instead of communicate along the way of, I feel sad today and I don't know why, and it's nothing to do with you, but I just need my space to be sad.

• 58:21Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  That's what emotions need to be doing. There's no rhyme or reason sometimes when you feel really teary. Or you feel like, I have a different emotional way to other people. Different sizes, different behaviors, different patterns of emotions. Mine is kind of sad and happy, sad and happy. Like I feel teary and then I want to dance down the street. Some other people.

• 58:41Lewis Howes?

  Within like a moment?

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Um, it's fun day to day, I'd say.

• 58:43Lewis Howes?

  Okay, gotcha.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  And then other people, you know, when they are really low, and these are people who often get diagnosed as being, you know, um, manic or bipolar or whatever. There's just some people who have so much creative emotional power in them. Think about people who've moved the world through a song about a breakup, right? When they're in that songwriting process, they need to remove themselves and be away from people, and mire in that sadness so fully, because it creates something inside them. But instead, if they're like, no, put on a brave face and go out there and be with people and hide that, it's saving, it's basically muffling all of that creative power inside them, right? Low and high emotions is what makes a human experience worth living. If everything was just neutral,

• 59:30Speaker 01

  there'd be no point in being here, right? So the emotional color life. But we also need to be mindful of how much we allow other people like you to understand it's not about you if I'm sad today. And if I come to you and I say, I'm really sad today, can I cry? And then you hold my hand, that makes us bond more. And you know it's not about you, right? And so it creates deeper intimacy when people are okay with their emotions, right? And sharing them.

• 59:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, 100%. What do you think are the keys to manifesting?

• 1:00:00Speaker 01

  I think there's a couple. Firstly, did you manifest it? Or did the universe give you the sign of what to want? Because that's what it was trying to send you or get you to go towards in the first place, right? Is it your voice or is it the universe's voice inside you?

• 1:00:15Lewis Howes?

  How do you know?

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  Well, yeah. That's the number one thing. And I think the second thing about manifesting is there's a difference between manifesting a chocolate cake, okay, versus manifesting your purpose, your destiny, your soulmates, your life partners. Things that are like, really your things that were always supposed to be yours and always supposed to come to you. I think it's almost egotistical to say you manifested them. Or maybe there just needs to be different words. Did you put the amount of energy into the right things and grow your consciousness to a level that you were able to then get those things? If that's what you want to call manifesting, those are the things. And in which case, it's okay to want anything, including money, if it comes from your soul. And you almost can't explain why you want that thing.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  If you're going after something you think you want because it's going to give you something else, then that's a short circuit because you might get it. But then, like you said, it might not stay or you might not be fulfilled during it. So I think you can manifest anything, but you may as well manifest those things that your soul really wants, rather than the things that you think you should be manifesting or from an ego place.

• 1:01:21Lewis Howes?

  How do we know when it's a soul desire versus an ego desire that we want to manifest something?

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  I think an ego desire is I want it because it's going to give me something else, like a secondary thing. Or because I think I will like myself more, or my parents will like me more when I want it, or I'll be more impressive to others, like you were saying about making other people happy, that kind of stuff. In which case, if you really want to make your parents happy, and that's a true desire from inside, and you really feel the yearning from within that you don't even know why you want your parents to be happy, but maybe that was your karma of your life, then just ask for that. Don't short circuit it by asking for the thing that you think is necessary for you to get that end result. Just ask for the end result and let the universe fill in the details, you know? But I think when it comes from your soul, you can't explain why you want it. You just, it's just this drive of like, and you know, I tell people,

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  you can see in people's design, people who are motivated by money, their soul just wants money. Or their soul just wants fame, or wants to be recognized, or wants to be seen. There's nothing inherently evil or wrong about those things, right? Because for example, your soul might make you want money so that you move into the house that's next door to the person that you had the greatest karma to heal with. We don't know what leads to what. So it's not good to like judge them by certain things that are good to want or bad to want. But if you want them from a true purpose, reason, it's coming from inside you and you can't explain why you want it or what you think it's going to give you. You just know you want it.

• 1:02:48Lewis Howes?

  This has been inspiring. Human Design, the revolutionary system that shows you who you came here to be. I want you guys to make sure to get a copy of the book. Go to the app, myhumandesign.com, or you can go to My Human Design on the App Store as well to learn more about your energy type, the gifts that you have, and the roadmap that you should be taking in your life to live more fully, more authentically, and allow flow to come into your life. Make sure you guys get a copy of this. The universe has a plan for you and Human Design is here to help you find it. So if you feel like you're not sure what's happening in your life, you feel stuck, you feel... It's not clear.

• 1:03:29Lewis Howes?

  This can be a great place for you to get more clear on your unique blueprint and how to follow the roadmap. You're also on social media yourself, Jenna Zoe on Instagram, my dot human design on Instagram as well. And the book, my human design dot com slash book. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of my interviews. It's called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. It's the last day on earth, many years away. You get to live as long as you want to live. And you get to create and manifest all of the things that your human design tells you you're supposed to do. But for whatever reason, on this last day, you have to take everything with you.

• 1:04:10Lewis Howes?

  The book, the app, the content, everything you've ever said or shared is gone from this world. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. Three things you know to be true. And this is all we have to remember you by are these three truths. What would that be for you?

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Believe in every natural inclination inside you. You don't understand all those random things about you that you think are unacceptable, uncool. Nothing is in you by accident. So take a chance on those random, small, uncool things.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  Stretch yourself a little bit every day to make yourself more proud of yourself.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  Nothing will give you the self-esteem than feeling like you've cultivated more of yourself and shared it with people every day.

• 1:05:01Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. That's beautiful.

• 1:05:06Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask the final question, Jenna, I want to acknowledge you for your courage to take on this journey for your life. And because you've taken on this journey for your life, you're able to help and inspire and impact so many more people than lacking the courage. Than staying stuck or staying in a stagnant place in your life. You've opened yourself up to serve more, and it's really beautiful. So I'm grateful for you for leaning into this gift of yours, to this weird uniqueness of yours inside of you and taking the steps toward it. It's been really inspiring to learn more about you, to connect with you today, to hear about the work you're doing with human design and the tens of thousands of people every day who are.

• 1:05:51Lewis Howes?

  Tapping into the information within them through your work. So I'm really grateful for what you're doing. Before I ask the final question, is there anything else on your heart or mind that we missed that you feel like we should be talking about today? That you feel like if the audience really heard, that it would support them on a different level?

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  How much time you got? I'm kidding. One of the things I think I'm seeing a lot of recently is a lot of questioning our worth.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  A lot of sitting on our couch, trying to find our problems. Sitting on our couch, trying to feel worthy. Sitting on, I think a lot of it is that you flexing yourself out in the real world is what will give you the feedback that you are worthy. That will give you the feedback that you are not, you know, you're not your trauma. Going out and playing with matter with the fabric of life is what changes us. You know, rather than trying to, meditation is amazing and, you know, visualizing and all those things are wonderful. But there's a true alchemy in let me, this whole thing is set up here for you to dance with, right?

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  And I think there's a real powerful thing in reframing action as push, push, push, grab, grab, grab, then just like, let me see with all this stuff. Like, what can I do with it, you know? And that's when you really learn about what you're capable of is when you see yourself be it. And that's so healing, I think.

• 1:07:15Lewis Howes?

  So not just sitting in your room, asking yourself, am I worthy? But going out and living life and experiencing it and playing with the magic of life.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so that you can see your worthiness come out of you. So you can see, oh, I actually do like how good of a person I am to this person. I actually do like seeing myself come out of this effortless gift that comes out of me. And I do see that not everyone has it. And, oh, so maybe it is there, right? Because again, if you're sitting at home, it's only through your mind that you're understanding it. You're not living it through feeling it in yourselves, you know?

• 1:07:46Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  There's a difference.

• 1:07:48Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful. Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Taking everything that is yours to begin with, and turning it into an expression that you love.

• 1:08:02Lewis Howes?

  Ja, thank you so much. Appreciate you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you,

• 1:08:44Lewis Howes?

  if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.