How to Transform Your Mindset Around Money & Negotiating w/Ryan Serhant EP 1098

“People want to work with people they like. Kindness will always take you further than any other emotion.”Today's guest is Ryan Serhant. Ryan is the CEO and founder of SERHANT., his real estate company. Ryan is one of the most successful real estate brokers in the world, averaging a billion dollars in sales every year. In this episode Lewis and Ryan discuss the most important principle around making money, the secrets to winning any negotiation, how to make more money at your current job, the next 3 steps you should take if you’re feeling financially stuck, and so much more! For more go to: www.lewishowes.com/1098Check out his book: Big Money Energy: How to Rule at Work, Dominate at Life, and Make MillionsCheck out his website: www.ryanserhant.comDaymond John on How to Close any Deal and Achieve Any Outcome: https://link.chtbl.com/928-podSara Blakely on Writing Your Billion Dollar Story: https://link.chtbl.com/893-podMel Robbins: The “Secret” Mindset Habit to Building Confidence and Overcoming Scarcity: https://link.chtbl.com/970-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 1,098 with New York Times bestselling author, Ryan Serhant. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  Oprah Winfrey said, do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. And Benny Lewis said, the difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is how high you raise your foot. My guest today is Ryan Serhant, who is the CEO and founder of Serhant, his real estate company. And Ryan is one of the most successful real estate brokers in the world, averaging a billion dollars in sales every year. He is also co-star on Bravo's hit show, Million Dollar Listing New York, and the author of the national bestseller, Sell It Like Serhant. He's written a new book called Big Money Energy: How to Rule at Work, Dominate at Life, and Make Millions.

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  And in this episode, we discuss the most important principle around making money, the secrets to winning in any negotiation. And Ryan realized he's never talked about this before publicly, and it's that crucial to his success. How to make more money at your current job, the next three steps you should take if you're feeling financially stuck, and so much more. If you're enjoying this, please share it with someone that you think would be inspired to listen to this as well. You can just copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this, or send people to our show notes for this episode at lewishouse.com/1098. And if this is your first time here, click the subscribe button over on Apple Podcasts right now or on Spotify, and stay subscribed and up to date from the latest and greatest

• 1:58Lewis Howes?

  from around the world of the top minds on how to unlock your inner greatness. Okay, in just a moment, the one and only Ryan Serhant.

• 2:09Lewis Howes?

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• 2:53Lewis Howes?

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• 3:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. Very excited about our guest, Ryan Serhant is in the house. My man, good to see you.

• 3:13Ryan Serhant?

  Good to see you.

• 3:14Lewis Howes?

  I'm excited to connect because I've known you for a few years. I've been watching your stuff on Bravo for a while. But I love the idea that you didn't know real estate and then you learned it. And your first year, I think I read that you'd only done like $9,000 in transactions. And then, you know, over a decade later, you do the second largest sale in the U.S. history of a private home for 134 million in one transaction. So to go from someone who didn't know a skill, real estate at all, to not really doing well in the first couple of years, to then selling, you know, one of the highest, the biggest sales in U.S. history is pretty phenomenal.

• 3:55Lewis Howes?

  And the lessons you've learned along the way is inspiring to me. So I'm excited that you're here and my, my first question for you is what is your greatest fear? Now that you went from nothing in real estate, have built this massive brand and continue to achieve more and more success. What's the greatest fear while you're at this level of success moving forward?

• 4:19Ryan Serhant?

  I think my biggest fear now, um, well, I think a lot of our fears stay the same, right? Like I still get scared about money, but it's relative now, right? It's, it's different fears. Like when I first started, it was how? Am I going to pay rent? Right? It's 1100 bucks. What do I have to do to make 1100? And then what do I have to do for more money so that I can pay for food? And you don't even think about savings that way. Like you're just, how do I get through each month? Now it's, okay, so I just rented the Tommy Hilfiger headquarters, 15,000 square feet. It'll be the biggest office and retail lease in Soho this entire year.

• 5:04Ryan Serhant?

  Uh, I, I have to pay for that personally. How much do I have to sell so that I can pay for that? Yeah, I gotta build it out and to build out is a million dollars in cash. How much do I, so those fears are always there. I'd say my biggest fear now is honestly,

• 5:24Ryan Serhant?

  it's not letting down my daughter.

• 5:29Ryan Serhant?

  Who I now have, I didn't have a kid back then. So I have a baby girl now, Xena. She's two. She's, you know, she kind of wakes up a little bit more every day. And she is getting more and more aware of me and my being there and my not being there.

• 5:49Ryan Serhant?

  And I've, I feel like I've spent so much time trying to figure out myself and what works well for myself and how I work and how I do this and how I can be successful and how I can make money and how I can sell things. That like, I don't want to let her down by one, not being there, but also not teaching her the right way. And am I teaching her the right way? And she's not an employee. She is a baby. And how do I be careful with her? And how do I, you know, like those are my, my, that's like, she is my, my biggest excitement. My greatest joy and also my biggest fear at the same exact time.

• 6:29Ryan Serhant?

  That coupled in, you know, a continuous fear of failure, right? Like I, I, I set this thing up. I started this business in the middle of a pandemic. I'm doing this stuff. I, I can't fail because I also don't want to let everybody else down, you know, just like yourself. There's, you know, there's, there's agents all around the world who follow what we do and have gotten into real estate because of us. And now I gotta sell more just to keep them inspired.

• 7:01Ryan Serhant?

  It's, you know, there's, there's, there's weight there that I definitely feel.

• 7:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, the bigger we get, the more pressure or weight that there is for sure until we learn how to manage it. I'm curious if you uh, it sounds like you have a great connection to your daughter and it's, it's made you think in a different way as a, as a human being. Uh, then before you, you had your daughter. If you could only share one principle around money with your daughter and you could never share another principle for the rest of her life, what would that one principle be?

• 7:33Ryan Serhant?

  Scared money don't make money.

• 7:36Lewis Howes?

  What does that mean?

• 7:38Ryan Serhant?

  Uh, I mean, it's, it's from a rap song, but uh, what, what it means is you, you can't put money on a pedestal. You can't be afraid of it, right? Money is a resource. It is there. The minute you're afraid of money, the minute you're afraid of anything, that thing wins. And it's always you verse the thing. It's you verse food. It's you verse money. It's you verse religion. It's you verse that guy, that girl. It's you verse traffic. The minute you get afraid of it, then, then it wins. Um, and you can talk about how, well, it's not all about winning and losing. It's about enjoying the game. And I, I, I get part of

• 8:21Ryan Serhant?

  that, but I also don't. Um, and I want her to know that money is a resource and it is there to provide her with options. So I don't ever want her to be afraid of it. I don't ever want her to be too excited about it either, right? To be so afraid of it. She gets so obsessed with it because that is also not the right way. Um, and you know, you've got to be able to spend money to make money. We were just talking about that before we started, right? Like I have always put myself in uncomfortable financial situations because I know myself and I know that I will fight my way out of it so that future Ryan,

• 9:05Ryan Serhant?

  looking back in time will say, hey, remember, remember when I was afraid of rent? Now look what I'm afraid of.

• 9:14Ryan Serhant?

  And I think it's tough for people to learn that, that if you're scared of money, you will not be able to make money and you will let money rule your life and control your life and you will forever be a slave to rent. You'll forever be a slave to the dollar. You'll check your bank account 10 times a day out of anxiety, or you'll never check it because you're so nervous about what's not in there. And then you'll just become another cog in the wheel of society and you'll just become a worker bee. And that's, I don't want her to do that, you know, I want her to know that especially now in

• 9:52Ryan Serhant?

  the 2020s, man, in the, you know, the 2020s, 2030s, 2040s, like she, she can do whatever she wants. She can be whoever she wants. She can be the president. She could go, you know, with Elon Musk's little kid, whose name I don't know, and go like start a new business on Mars. Like, let's go, whatever you want to do.

• 10:16Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like there's a, every time you hit a new level of financial opportunity, financial gain, success, do you feel like the old fears come up? You know, you've got to spend 20 times more rent than you ever have before. Is there the same fear? Or do you feel like you can ever master the fear, no matter how much more money you're dealing with?

• 10:37Ryan Serhant?

  I don't know if you ever master anything. I think you make things relative and I think you keep pushing, but it also depends on what makes you happy, right? Like, I, I am the type of person, and I know this about myself, I am not going to be happy in a nice three bedroom house with a fence and like a car and the ability to go on vacations and just like live an awesome life. Like, that's an awesome life for so many people. And I, I envy those people who can be okay with that. I am not okay with being okay.

• 11:16Ryan Serhant?

  Um, and you know, I have always wanted more, not out of greed, but kind of like a mountain climber. Right? You talk to the, you read the interviews and the books and the podcasts of the guys that have climbed Kilimanjaro and Everest. It's like, dude, why the would you do that? Like it's, you know, you don't have to climb the mountain. You can go around. You know, like I climb it because it's there. Like they can't not, you know, and I, and I feel the same way about my own life, my own career. You know, there's so many paths I could have gone down. That just definitely wouldn't have worked out. But if you can find that one where things start to work a little bit. Like you get like, take it as far as you can, because who knows when you'll get that opportunity again. And life is really, really, really quick.

• 11:58Ryan Serhant?

  And then the next thing you know, COVID and you have the blood type that is not going to be okay. And I wish I had just taken advantage of that opportunity last year. And I, I never want to be the type of person who says, you know, if only, like that, I think.

• 12:16Lewis Howes?

  I wish I would have.

• 12:18Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, you know, if only are probably the two scariest words that I can think about because before I know it, I'm going to be at a point in my life and older where I, I hope not, but I could look back and say, well, you know, if only I'd done that when I was 30, 36, 15. And I understand that regret is a part of life and um, there's always going to be mistakes. There's always going to be things we missed. If only I bought Bitcoin at a hundred bucks, you know, stuff like that. But I, I'd rather regret the things I did than the things I never tried.

• 12:56Lewis Howes?

  What's some of the greatest lessons or lesson you've learned from some of your clients? Maybe they weren't actually even trying to teach you something, but just by their energy, their way of being of you showing the homes or the conversations you had with negotiations or just their approach to life. Was there any few lessons that have really stuck out from maybe the uber successful, you know, billionaires? Or in the first couple of years when you were just working with, you know, people that were maybe buying less fancy homes?

• 13:31Ryan Serhant?

  Oh, man, I feel like I learned something from every single one of my clients because they come from a different walk of the earth that I've I've never been on, right? Like, we all have our own journeys. We all learn our own lessons. I'll say, like, if I dig down, you know, one of my first rental clients ever, because, you know, I got into the business at the end of 2008 so that I could stay in New York City so that I could pay rent, right? And so, real estate was way better than waiting tables, or bartending, or getting a temp job, and being a receptionist, or going back to school, or moving home. And so, I would post ads for rental listings on Craigslist.

• 14:10Ryan Serhant?

  I'd meet people on the corner of, like, you know, Christopher and Greenwich, and I would get lost with them in the West Village, trying to find, like, that walk-up building to go up six flights of stairs, to hope to God, the door would be left open for me, because if it's not, then I'm the worst. And trying to rent, you know, apartments for a thousand to three thousand dollars a month, right? That was, it was nearly two years of my life.

• 14:37Lewis Howes?

  Man, I wish rent was that, that cheap right now in New York.

• 14:40Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, right.

• 14:40Lewis Howes?

  Credit to Christopher for a thousand a month? Give me that rent.

• 14:43Ryan Serhant?

  Now, that was more like Avenue D. And that was, like, run real fast to get up there.

• 14:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:50Ryan Serhant?

  But I had, like, I had one client, a girl, her name was Jessica, and she, you know, was renting an apartment, her and her two roommates. And so, we were looking kind of, like, ideally a three-bedroom, but they couldn't afford it. So, we were just gonna look for a one-bedroom that could be cut up into three bedrooms. And she had her parents on the phone the whole time, because they were guaranteeing it, and they couldn't be there. And I got lost. And I wasn't, I, West Village, I wasn't familiar with the West Village. I didn't know the streets. I knew the grid, because I lived in Koreatown, lived on 31st Street and Broadway. I knew the grid, right? It goes from east to west, north to south, like, you can figure it out. You go to the West Village, and you're like, oh,

• 15:30Ryan Serhant?

  so these roads were created by horses, and no one ever changed it. So, I guess I gotta figure that out. And I got lost. And I got lost. Like twice. The first time I kinda sold my way through it. The second time I didn't know where I was going. I couldn't figure it out. And I didn't have an iPhone back then, right? It was early 2009. And she told me on the street that I was the worst. She regretted calling me. And that I should never be allowed to do real estate with anyone ever.

• 16:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:03Ryan Serhant?

  Left. And I quickly ran the other way. I think I had like tears in my eyes. But that lesson was know your, like, no matter what, doesn't matter how long you've been in any business, doesn't matter. All, everything goes out the door. But the one thing I could control was I could have, I could have researched better. I could have prepared better. The tour that I was gonna take her on, I could have waken up, I could have woken up an hour earlier and done that tour. Because I knew I didn't really know where I was going. I just was lazy, right? I didn't have the time. I was like, I found other things to be busy with. I just figured I'd figure it out. And she probably, she'll never call me ever again. I still think about her. Jessica, if you're listening, I'm sorry.

• 16:45Ryan Serhant?

  That we got lost in the West Village. I should have done my homework and done that. But, but know your. Say, a little while after that, I met a client, an international client who really was the light bulb game changer for me. Because I had zero confidence in myself. No one knew me in New York City. I had made the determination at that point. Okay, if I'm gonna stay here and do this, I want to be the best. I want to be the best real estate broker ever. I know I'm not from here. I don't look like the best real estate broker. I definitely don't blend in. But I can figure it out. And no one would buy it. No one would believe me. I was super young.

• 17:27Ryan Serhant?

  You know, I was in my early twenties and I had premature gray hair at the same time. So it's just sort of weird. And I didn't go to the schools here. My family's not from here. So the best agents in New York City, the ones who make millions and millions and millions of dollars have all that.

• 17:42Ryan Serhant?

  And then this international client reaches out. I super get lucky and she flies into New York. And I just had this light bulb moment of saying to myself, you know what? I'm going to be the greatest salesperson in the world for her. I'm not going to mess up like I did for Jessica or like I did for a bunch of other people. I'm going to know my, I want to memorize everything. I'm going to fall back on the information that I have in my brain. And I'm going to present myself like the real estate agent I want to be in five years. And she's going to see that person. I'm going to put on a show, right? Like I came to New York City to do theater. I'm going to put on the best performance of my life. And let's see what happens.

• 18:25Ryan Serhant?

  And it worked and she bought an apartment for $2.1 million. And it's not the biggest deal I've ever done in my life, but it, it, that commission, I think was like 24,000 bucks, something like that. That was two years of rent. It gave me, it gave me some breathing room. She proved to me that I can be whoever I want to be. I just got to believe in it. And I got to tell people.

• 18:51Ryan Serhant?

  Those are probably the two biggest lessons that I learned early on in my career. I've learned lots of lessons since then, but those were two important ones that really shaped how I carried myself and started working on my career and building my brand going forward. And that was 11 years ago.

• 19:07Lewis Howes?

  How did you learn to believe in yourself when you didn't have the credibility or the skills yet?

• 19:13Ryan Serhant?

  I realized that the most confident people in the markets that I was dealing with. So the most successful people, the most successful agents, brokers, developers, bankers, whatever, right? They carry themselves with confidence because they played the game like they already had the money in their pocket.

• 19:35Lewis Howes?

  They weren't desperate.

• 19:37Ryan Serhant?

  There's no desperation. It was, they walked into the room like they already won. And this was their second time coming here. Right? Like they already had the master's jacket. They already had the green jacket at home. This is the second time. And they could keep calm, they could keep their nerves and they always relaxed on the fact that I played this hole before. Right? I've been here before, even if they hadn't, they practiced it so well and studied it and rehearsed it and learned it and knew the gradients and knew everything that even if this is the first time they're hitting the ball on this hole. It's as if in their core, they've done it a hundred times. And so they could believe in themselves as being the greatest golfer. And so for me, it was,

• 20:21Ryan Serhant?

  okay, all I have to do is memorize information, study the information, know what I'm talking about. And then I can always fall back on facts, right? And, and then I just have to then believe that the facts will help me tell the stories and do the deals. And then I just have to be a person and that's it. And I think I can be great. Right? Like I, I looked at all these people that were doing what I was trying to do and they were doing much better than me and making way more money. It's like, wait a minute, I, why not me?

• 20:56Ryan Serhant?

  Right? Like I said, you know, if only are the two scariest words in the English language for me. Why not me are the three most motivating words in the English language for me because they always push me to, to, to do a little bit more. And so I would say that's how I was able to kind of like build that confidence was just learn the information. Right? Learn everything about a certain area and that's how I'm going to beat the internet. Right? Because these people can buy on the internet now, you know, then and now especially they, they can sell on the internet. They don't need a real estate salesperson. You know, real estate agents are going out of business. They're going out of style. Who needs a human anymore? Turns out humans need humans to help them make decisions.

• 21:38Ryan Serhant?

  And until a house figures out how to sell itself to another house, we'll still be there. As long as we know more and can discuss the information. And that gave me the confidence to then move forward and then I would do one deal. And I would just scream it from a mountain top so that the success of today would beget the success of tomorrow. And then just keep pushing and pushing and pushing and then. Here I am 13 years later.

• 22:06Lewis Howes?

  And what's the, uh, the greatest strategies you've learned about negotiating down and negotiating up? You know, you just negotiated down, I think you said a big amount off of, uh, rent, uh, for your, for your new office space, but you also negotiate up to try to get the maximum out of, uh, selling as well. So when you're buying and you're wanna,

• 22:32Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah.

• 22:32Lewis Howes?

  What's the most you've taken off of a listing price that you've helped someone buy?

• 22:38Ryan Serhant?

  Yep.

• 22:39Lewis Howes?

  And purchase? And what was the strategy for getting it to that much off and also in the reverse above listing?

• 22:46Ryan Serhant?

  Can I tell you something that's so interesting about that question? I've done a lot of podcasts. I, I do a lot of talking about real estate for 13 years. No one has ever asked me how to negotiate and I ju- and I don't know why.

• 23:04Ryan Serhant?

  You were the first guy to ask me, how did it go? And it's what I do all day long. It's so, people are like, well, how do you close and talk to me about this, that? It's so interesting. Um, and I wouldn't have known to tell you to ask me that question. Like if you had said, Ryan, what's the one? I, I wouldn't have jumped to that and I also don't know why, but to answer your great question.

• 23:25Lewis Howes?

  Well, the reason I ask is because I feel like anyone listening and myself, I've never purchased a home.

• 23:30Ryan Serhant?

  Sure.

• 23:30Lewis Howes?

  I've done investments and stuff like that, but I've never purchased a home and I'm always thinking, okay. And you triggered it by saying, well, I got this lease for, you know, way more than the asking price off. I'm like, well, how do we negotiate down a car, a house of whatever? And how do we negotiate up to get a premium on what the market is offering? What is the psychological strategies? What is any strategy done in an ethical manner? In order to do that, is it an energy thing? Is it psychology? Is it, uh, you know, the approach? What are all these things that you do to, and what is the biggest down negotiation you've had? And the biggest up? And then what are the strategies?

• 24:10Ryan Serhant?

  Sure. So there is an amazing movie.

• 24:14Ryan Serhant?

  Starring Matthew McConaughey called The Ghost of Girlfriends Past.

• 24:20Ryan Serhant?

  Okay, it's classic. Everyone should see it. Um, at the end of that movie, Michael Douglas is like his dead uncle who like taught him everything he knows about dating. And he's got a scene where he says, "The one in the relationship who has all the power is the one who cares the least." And that is true for any business negotiation, house negotiation, promotion negotiation, anything. What if you really want it? You really want it, but you can't show it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get to that. Um, so how to negotiate down, okay?

• 24:59Ryan Serhant?

  Is by far the easiest because uh, all you have to do is not want it, right? You have to be willing to walk away. You have to be willing to be okay with loss and know there are other options. So the biggest discount I've ever gotten was probably, um, I would say, uh, this summer, the past summer that just happened. So listen, COVID hit and destroyed New York City. A million people left New York City. Wow. The real estate market was soft here to begin with because of oversupply and it got real bad. Like transaction volume dropped by over 80% when COVID hit. Disaster. So the lowest market, I think, in real estate history was this past summer.

• 25:42Ryan Serhant?

  So I had a buyer, which means it was a great opportunity. To buy. For, to buy and for opportunists who, who know that you don't bet against New York City. Like, and so, uh, there was a seller at a building called 157 West 57th Street. Okay, um, they bought this apartment for $34 million years ago. Oh my gosh. They outfitted it with about $2 million worth of upgrades, audio, furniture, everything. So 36 million in. 36 million in. It's been on the market for a while. They'd cut the price down. They're losing money.

• 26:17Lewis Howes?

  What were they, what were they trying to sell it for?

• 26:19Ryan Serhant?

  Uh, I think they started really high and then they, like everybody.

• 26:23Lewis Howes?

  Like 50 million or something or?

• 26:25Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, I don't remember if it was that high, but then they went down. Um, I think they eventually got down to like 25.

• 26:32Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:32Ryan Serhant?

  So they were willing to take a 12 million dollar loss. Um, uh, because they own it in cash. And so it's like, what else can I do with the money? And listen, people are like, oh, I lose so much money in real estate. You, you don't lose money if you don't sell. So the asset is worth something when you buy and it'll always be worth more at some point, unless you need the money today. If you need the money today, yeah, sure. Could you lose money? Yes. Um, uh, which is why cash flow will kill you. But anyway, so I had a client who just wanted a great deal. He's like, listen, I don't need to buy anything in New York City. I don't even know if I would ever even use it, but.

• 27:06Lewis Howes?

  But if you find me a deal of a lifetime.

• 27:08Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, but if you find me a good deal, I'll buy. And so that to me is a challenge. Where I said to myself, all right, all right, dude, let me see what I can find you. So I see this apartment. It's been on the market for a while and say, let's go see it. Sees it. Uh, okay. All right. What do you want to offer?

• 27:24Lewis Howes?

  Right now it's around, it's around 24 at this moment.

• 27:26Ryan Serhant?

  20, yeah, 25. Yeah.

• 27:27Lewis Howes?

  25.

• 27:28Ryan Serhant?

  So we offered 15 million. Okay. This guy's in it for 36. We offered 15, which is 10 million off the current ask, which is already reduced by.

• 27:38Lewis Howes?

  20 million. Yeah, yeah.

• 27:39Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, yeah. Um, and long story short, fast forward, uh, we held firm for four months. And he just said, listen, I'll buy it, but I don't need it. And we went out and we saw other things. But at the same time, I kept pushing him a little bit, like, cause I want to get a deal done. So let's go 15, 250, right? All right, fine. Give him another 250. It's not going to, it won't do anything. But I slowly, slowly, slowly got them to come down 22, 20. So you could tell they wanted to do a deal, but the one in the relationship who has all the power is the one who cares the least. So we, I got him up to 16 and a half and we held firm.

• 28:24Ryan Serhant?

  They came back finally at 16, 750 and that was the hardest negotiation I'd ever have to do is get him up $250,000.

• 28:32Lewis Howes?

  Shut up. Cause he's like, I don't want it. I'm already up more than I want.

• 28:35Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, exactly. He's like, I don't need this. Why are you buying? I'm not buying this. And I, I again, went through the whole process. I explained to him the value. It's like, the money doesn't mean anything to you and you're buying this for 51% off. This is going to be the biggest luxury discount trade in the history of New York City. And we closed and that's exactly what it was. CNBC, CNN, every single press, but you can look up the deal, closed last summer. Or sorry, uh, it was summer or close towards the end of the year, actually, probably. You know what? I think it closed in December.

• 29:07Ryan Serhant?

  And he bought it for 51% off.

• 29:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 29:09Ryan Serhant?

  Since then, the market's totally rebounded. So that was holding firm and saying, basically saying, hey, please sell to someone else. By all means, please sell to someone else.

• 29:20Lewis Howes?

  If you can find a buyer, go ahead.

• 29:21Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah. Sell to somebody else. Negotiating somebody up is a different story, right? It's the fear of loss, but on the total opposite side.

• 29:34Lewis Howes?

  And I got a, I got a good offer here. Should I just take it and not go for more?

• 29:39Ryan Serhant?

  Sure. Um, but if you're trying to get a buyer to pay more money, then you're, you're working on what we call the difference between a want and a need. So how do I make a want a need? So this guy might want something. Yeah, sure. They want it. But I'm only going to get him to pay more if I convince him that he needs it. And so you have to then look for people's points of fear. If he doesn't get this, what, what triggers that fear? Like, what's he going to be afraid of? Is it finding something else that's as nice? Is it doing the whole process all over again and going and trying to find something else? Is it, his wife is going to be pissed? Is it, they won't be in the school district, whatever it is, that fear?

• 30:24Ryan Serhant?

  And you do this on both sides. For any negotiation, a tip is, and I used to, I, I, I write this down. If you're in between one side and another, you write down. What makes the other side afraid? What makes that side afraid? And you play towards those fears to get the exact number you want. And oftentimes I'll pick the number ahead of time before I even start to the negotiation. And more often than not, I always get my sides to the number I knew that they were going to come to anyway.

• 30:51Lewis Howes?

  How do you, how do you ask what their fear is without asking them what their fear is?

• 30:55Ryan Serhant?

  You talk to them just the same way you talk to people. You ask questions. The greatest thing any adult likes to do is hear the sound of their own voice.

• 31:06Lewis Howes?

  Talk about their life, yeah.

• 31:08Ryan Serhant?

  Talk about their life, talk to me, right? Let them yell, let them, when clients yell and scream and get angry, it shows to me that I'm getting closer because they would not exhibit that emotion if they didn't care. And the one who cares the least holds all the power. So if you're yelling and screaming at me, you go fuck that guy and I'm not doing this and screw him. And you're hanging up the phone, you're calling me back or you're going to text me tomorrow or you're going to email me in three days.

• 31:35Lewis Howes?

  Can we get that, can we get that?

• 31:37Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, right? So I would say I, dude, the deal we just did in, in Palm Beach, right? He was looking at things that were in the 10 to 20, 25 million dollar range.

• 31:55Lewis Howes?

  I mean, went for 134.

• 31:57Ryan Serhant?

  And he paid 134.

• 31:58Lewis Howes?

  That's crazy.

• 31:59Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, but to understand, so what's the fear there, right? If you start to look at those types of buyers who have that type of money, the fear there is one, you're going to buy a house that is going to be out of market in 12 months, right? So do you really want to even spend, if you have the money, do you want to spend 20 to have a house that's going to be dated in 12 months? To have a house that's going to be rebuilt by somebody else that'll be worth even more? Do you want to be driving by other people's houses that are nicer that you could have just spent up? Yeah, exactly. Also, there's a tax play. And so how do you upsell? One, you play to the fear, you turn a want into a need.

• 32:44Ryan Serhant?

  And then you also don't focus on the money, you focus on the value. So it's not about the money. It's not about it being 134 million dollars of dollars, right? It's 134 million dollars in value because he would have spent that money in tax. Right? And so in Florida, there's no state income tax. And so let's not spend that money in New York. Let's spend that money in, on the beach, right? In, in Florida. And there's a lot of different things you can do there, but um,

• 33:20Ryan Serhant?

  it's about playing to those wants, turning them into needs and saying, hey, this house can't be replaced. Is it a lot more than you wanted to spend? Sure. Also, don't buy it. Right? Don't buy it.

• 33:32Lewis Howes?

  So you're not pushing, not pushing on someone, taking it away from them.

• 33:36Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, yeah, we do the takeaway.

• 33:37Lewis Howes?

  Not being desperate, not being like, you need this house, you should get it, but saying, hey, don't buy it.

• 33:42Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, listen, there, I could talk to you about how to negotiate a thousand times. Negotiation is, is all an improv. Everybody has different triggers. Everyone has different cultural ideas for how they want to negotiate. People are born stubborn. People are born soft, like they're, everyone is completely different. Uh, you know, you, you play to people's egos, right? You play to the fact that, um, you know, it's okay. It's totally fine if you can't afford this. Let me go show you something else.

• 34:11Lewis Howes?

  Oh, we'll find somebody in your price range.

• 34:13Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, yeah. No, listen, it's totally okay. Right? That's the wow moment. Like the wow moment is when you, someone gives you a budget, you show them four houses in the budget and one that you tell them do not buy. I'm not even telling you, I just want to show you because I got access to it and it's insane. Let's just go for two minutes. Let's just go.

• 34:32Lewis Howes?

  Show you what you could get in maybe five to 10 years. Yeah.

• 34:34Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, like this is so awesome. It's on the way. Let me just show you for fun. Wow them. And I dare them to buy anything in their price range.

• 34:45Lewis Howes?

  Wait a minute. So, uh, let's say you do this a hundred times to your clients. Um, you, you show the four options, three in their price range, one in the lower end, one in the middle, one in a little bit higher. And then one, three times more than what they're thinking, ever 10 times, whatever. How many people, what's the percentage of people that take the one that's so far out of their price range?

• 35:08Ryan Serhant?

  Super small.

• 35:10Lewis Howes?

  Like three percent, two percent?

• 35:12Ryan Serhant?

  I'd say five percent actually go for it. But what I'm trying to do is not actually sell that property. I'm trying to close them in general because I don't want to show anyone 10 houses or 20 houses or 50 houses. That's not a good use of my time.

• 35:27Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 35:28Ryan Serhant?

  My job is to sell and to close. So I will, you know, when people say, hey, I want to see something between one and $2 million. If I just show you houses between one and $2 million, you're going to want to go back out next weekend and the next weekend. And then you're going to go on Zillow and you're going to see a thousand things and then your friend's going to tell you about this other place and da, da, da, da, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. So if I show you three to four houses that are the best, because I know all the product, I know all the inventory, these are the best. You should buy any of these. And let me just show you one more thing and it's 3.2. Do not buy it. Don't even think about it. Don't call your banker. I know you can figure it out. You're rich. I get it. I get it. Even if they're not rich, right? Pad the ego.

• 36:10Ryan Serhant?

  Then what I do is then I take them to something that's 2.2, 2.4, 2.5. So it's above the budget, but it's not nearly as scary as the house I just blew their socks off with. And then I take them to the house that I knew they were going to buy all along, which is then how you close them. Cause then we go in and like, well, this one, I think I can make this one work. Like, yeah, I know you can. That's why I brought you here, right? But we got to move fast because somebody else is interested or whatever the situation might be. That works 70% of the time.

• 36:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow. That's great. So instead of doing six weeks of showing every weekend with them, you show one weekend, four, five properties and hopefully you can get to a faster decision.

• 36:56Ryan Serhant?

  I had a woman client years ago who taught me that lesson because she wanted to see everything in the city, Upper East Side, downtown, FIDIA. Let's go to Brooklyn. Let's look at everybody. And I, I just said, yes, because I didn't want to lose her as a client, right? She's going to buy. She's got the money. She's pre-approved for a loan. Let's go. And she just couldn't figure out what she wanted. And I kept trying to get at her. And I was like very close to firing her. Like I've never fired a buyer, but I just kind of wanted to be like, you know what? I don't think this is work. I can't be your New York tour guide. Thank you. I've seen more apartments with you than I've ever seen in my life. But if you're actually going to buy something like I gotta show apartments to people who will buy them because that's how I make a living.

• 37:40Ryan Serhant?

  There's no salary. There's no benefits in this job. I eat what I kill.

• 37:44Ryan Serhant?

  And then I started asking her questions the same way like we were just talking about. And it was when I really realized, wait a minute. I have to ask buyers more questions to get them to talk about themselves. So I can really see what they like. What makes them tick? What do they want? So that I can then connect the product to their wants and desires. Because she might think that she wants Upper East Side because that's where she grew up and that's where her family is and this is this. But it turns out she's a female bodybuilder. Okay. And she really likes fitness, which I could tell.

• 38:21Ryan Serhant?

  But I didn't know to the extent and she really liked strip clubs.

• 38:26Ryan Serhant?

  She's straight, but she really liked men's strip clubs. Because she loved seeing women and their bodies and she would acknowledge them. And she was like friends with a bunch of, you know, with exotic dancers. And it was like, it was, you know, and I had no idea. And it was like a year into this damn search that I actually found this out for her. It's like, wait a minute. I have one more thing I want to show you. 540 West 28th Street.

• 38:56Ryan Serhant?

  Right next to Scores, which is a strip club in New York City. It's such a long time ago, a penthouse, just above her budget, outdoor space. With a strip club next door, tough building to sell in because most people. You know, they're like, well, I have a three year old. Is there a strip club? Like, yeah, but you know, it's, it's the future, man. Everyone strips now. It's cool. I took her there. She saw that. She laughed. She thought it was funny. She bought that apartment.

• 39:29Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You spoke to her emotions.

• 39:33Ryan Serhant?

  You speak, you speak to the desires, right? Like, what are the wants? What are the true desires? What's, what is your client's love language? Um, and you dig down and all you have to do is ask questions, right? It's improv. It's yes and, and just consistently ask questions.

• 39:48Lewis Howes?

  If you could only ask three questions to a potential buyer or seller,

• 39:54Lewis Howes?

  to get as much information as you could to then use that information for negotiations, what would those three questions be? And you couldn't do a follow-up question. It can only be three questions. The answers they give you are the answers they give you.

• 40:07Ryan Serhant?

  Only three. I ask a lot more questions than that.

• 40:10Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 40:10Ryan Serhant?

  I'd say the first question is always, uh, for me, anyway, let's say you're buying in New York City and I gotta ask you three questions.

• 40:19Ryan Serhant?

  Um, uh, is, "Talk to me about your personal connection to the city."

• 40:25Ryan Serhant?

  Right? Cause that's gonna help me answer, "Are you from here? Are you not from here? Do you have any connection to it? Do you love the park?" Right? Do you, do you work in this? Like, what do you do? Talk to me about your connection to the city. Because they'll also then talk to me about their fears of the city. Maybe there's certain parts they really don't like. Maybe there's certain things they don't, maybe they, they like to, you know, I don't know.

• 40:47Ryan Serhant?

  My second question is going to be, uh, "Where do you work?" Because I need to know if they do go to the office.

• 40:55Lewis Howes?

  Two hours or if they want, yeah.

• 40:56Ryan Serhant?

  Do they commute? Where do you, where do you work? You know, what's that, are you, do you need to work from home? If you can work from home and you wanna be in New York, then that opens up a lot of things. Also, we should probably look for another bedroom because you need a Zoom room these days. Um, uh, and you can get more in Brooklyn, let's say. Like, instead of getting a three-bedroom condo in the city, if you work from home now, two days a week, let's go get a townhouse in Brooklyn that's gonna double in value in five years. Right? Um, and then I would probably ask,

• 41:27Ryan Serhant?

  um, uh, "Are you prepared to spend more money than you've ever thought about spending?" On a house.

• 41:38Ryan Serhant?

  Because most people get very, very shocked, not just in New York City, this is everywhere.

• 41:43Lewis Howes?

  Just the down payment you have to pay on a house is crazy.

• 41:46Ryan Serhant?

  So I want to know, one, that answers me, budget, conversation about price, we got to talk about money. Right. But it also, the way you phrase that question enables me to have a emotional conversation about money with them. Right. And see how they answer that question. And that also shows me, are they going to be uncomfortable with me? When I'm talking to them about closing costs, taxes, purchase prices, pre approvals, talking to their husband, to their wife, you know, to anybody. Or are they going to be an open book with me and just say, Ryan, let's go get this deal done. This is what I got. Let's figure this out. Help me maximize my, you know, whatever the situation may be. Those are probably the three most important questions. Everything else is filler and will help me do the deal.

• 42:28Lewis Howes?

  And why do you think most people are just bad at making money in general?

• 42:34Ryan Serhant?

  I think, I think most people are afraid of money. Honestly.

• 42:38Lewis Howes?

  What are they afraid of? Is it the opinions of the people?

• 42:41Ryan Serhant?

  They're so afraid of not having it, that they literally manifest not having it. If you focus so much every day on your lack of money, then your future will give you exactly what you focus on. Which is a lack of money. I, I believe that we have the power to predict our own future. Like we, we, that was me with my Chinese buyer. Like, I'm going to be the best broker ever. I'm going to be me in five years. I'm going to be future me for you for three days. Let me see if I can do this.

• 43:18Ryan Serhant?

  And it works. And she buys something. Now, I didn't transport myself into the future, but my brain, the way I presented myself, I got a suit on a debit card. I got a car service on a credit card. Right. I like, I, I, I got new shoes. Like I, I put everything into current Ryan's wallet, which was terrible, but I carried myself with a level of confidence that I was hoping that I would be able to in the future.

• 43:47Ryan Serhant?

  And it like set me free. And I think so many people either focus on the money. You know how they say a watched pot never boils? Like if you put the pot, right, like on the burner to boil water, it takes forever. You put the pot on the burner and you go watch TV and it's like,

• 44:06Lewis Howes?

  It's boiling.

• 44:07Ryan Serhant?

  It's the same exact amount of time, but your connection to that time is different. Because in one instance, all you do is care about the water boiling. And in the other, you don't give it. And guess what? The water still boils. So the people who focus on the money, the people who are afraid of the money, will have the least amount of it.

• 44:31Lewis Howes?

  How do we shift? How do we shift our mindset around that in order to attract and earn more money?

• 44:37Ryan Serhant?

  So it's the same way that you present to a buyer, the same way I would. It's not about the money, it's about the value. Right? If you want to make more money, you need to start figuring out what is your value? What can you provide? And is it to your boss? Is it to the community? Is it in the form of content? Is it in the form of flipping card? I don't know. What is your thing and what is your value that you can provide that someone is willing to pay for? And then how can you maximize that value with the allotted time that you have every day? Because not everyone has the same amount of time. Right?

• 45:21Ryan Serhant?

  And we do, we all have the same 24 hours every day. You, me, Oprah, Jeff Bezos, right? We all have the same amount of time. But it's not necessarily fair to say that because some of us have three jobs. Some of us have 10 kids. Some, you know, we all have different responsibilities. So we don't have most time to put the work in. But what is your value? And If you're in a job, let's say, so that we can talk about like a specific example, and you want to make more money, but you are a W2 employee and you're or you're an hourly wage employee and you want to make more money there, you need to show that you provide more value than what your current hourly wage is and what your current salary is. So you

• 46:06Ryan Serhant?

  need to start being the future role before you are the role. So a pure example of that is

• 46:13Lewis Howes?

  Mike Tyson, when I interviewed him, he said, "You need to be the champ before you become the champ."

• 46:17Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah.

• 46:18Lewis Howes?

  You need to train like the champ. You need to think like the champ. You need to act like it. You need to be the champ before you be the champ.

• 46:25Ryan Serhant?

  A thousand percent. Assume the role before you are the role. So like, I'm looking to my right. There's a girl who sits here. The majority of my company is run by women. And she started as a rental agent for me and really wanted to make more and do more. But hey, you're a rental agent. You just started. Do that. She had an act for new development. And so she started just doing new development research and putting it in front of me without me having to ask for it. I was like, okay, thanks. And I would still go to everybody else for projects, right? Not her. She's brand new. She does rentals. And then she started cold calling developers.

• 47:06Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 47:07Ryan Serhant?

  And putting appointments in front of me. It's like, okay, but you have no idea what you're doing. I have to go with you. She's like, no, I know. Please do all the talking.

• 47:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:15Ryan Serhant?

  Slowly but surely, she

• 47:17Lewis Howes?

  She's making you money.

• 47:18Ryan Serhant?

  Basically, is making me money. She's showing me value. She's doing work that I have to tell other people to do. She's doing without me having to tell her to do it, which shows me that she can take incredible initiative, even though she has zero experience, doesn't know what she's doing, but she's figuring it out and willing to figure it out. And

• 47:38Ryan Serhant?

  Now she runs new development for me and helped me build the company that I'm running today. And makes way more money than she ever did as a rental agent because she said to herself, I want to run new development for this guy. That's a big business. I want to sell towers. If I ask him to put me on towers, he's going to ignore me or that's going to be weird. So I just need to start showing my value today. Here's my value. I have extra time because I'm brand new and I have no business. I'm going to start doing research that I see his people are too busy to do. I'm just going to start presenting it to him for free.

• 48:11Ryan Serhant?

  Right? Present it for free. Show your value. So that there will be a point when I realize I need her here. I don't know. I need, could you do that same report you did for me last month? Can you do that again?

• 48:27Ryan Serhant?

  And presenting opportunities and presenting value. Show your value and also show what your position would be like if you weren't there. Right?

• 48:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Because when you're not there, what is the pain that someone's going to have?

• 48:39Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, the cost of replacing you is oftentimes more than paying you more.

• 48:48Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 48:49Ryan Serhant?

  Every job is completely different, but I would really, really say assume the role before you are the role and present your value. And that's how you make more money. And if you're, if you don't have a job and there's a thousand places you can make money, you know, there's so many things you can do today. Figure out what you like talking about. Go do that thing and do it more and find other people who like talking about those same things. Even if it's, you know, it's movies, whatever it is, you're obsessed with Billie Eilish. There are ways to make money out of that obsession and that passion and you'll turn that into something else. Next thing you know, you're Ryan Seacrest.

• 49:32Lewis Howes?

  And what do you think is the difference between a rich mindset or abundance mindset around wealth and a poor mindset?

• 49:38Ryan Serhant?

  Wealthy people.

• 49:41Ryan Serhant?

  Know how to use money. Um, and unwealthy people, uh, they know how to spend money. I, I, like, without being overly simplified, you know, that is what I've seen the best.

• 50:02Ryan Serhant?

  And wealthy people also don't nickel and dime. They don't because they know that their greatest asset isn't their money. Their greatest asset is their time. People who are less wealthy will nickel and dime everything because every dollar counts. And they will spend hours, days negotiating, fighting over something. And I'm like, dude, the amount of time that you have spent trying to save $7,847.47, you could have made $20,000 doing this, that, or the other.

• 50:39Ryan Serhant?

  And so that's probably the biggest difference. The wealthy understand that their greatest asset is their time. The poor feel like their greatest asset is money. And so it's about where you put your focus, right? And not being afraid of money, understanding that money is a resource.

• 50:57Ryan Serhant?

  You know, and not putting it on that pedestal.

• 50:59Lewis Howes?

  Do you negotiate the same way you do with a billion dollar buyer seller?

• 51:06Lewis Howes?

  That way that you do with your daughter and your wife?

• 51:12Ryan Serhant?

  Ay yi yi, Lewis Howes. I really try not to. That is a, a real.

• 51:23Lewis Howes?

  So it means you do.

• 51:25Ryan Serhant?

  It is a real sticking, you know, I, I remember I went to like a benefit, charity benefit back in the day when those things used to be legal. I don't know, eight years ago. And this wealthy hedge fund guy was getting this award because wealthy people, they award themselves all the time, just like actors. And he got up there and he was being funny and he was like, you know, he just told this story about how he had to hire a therapist to teach him that his family are not his employees. And that he can't boss his children and wife around the same way he does at work all day. And that it was tough for him because if you work 12 hours a day, the majority of your life is telling people what to do in his position.

• 52:10Ryan Serhant?

  And then you get home and you can't do that. And you have to become a different person.

• 52:15Lewis Howes?

  And you're cleaning up diapers and you're, yeah, doing everything else.

• 52:18Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, or you're expecting other people. And it's so funny, here's my wife who's like,

• 52:23Lewis Howes?

  She hears you.

• 52:24Ryan Serhant?

  She's FaceTiming in, I think it's the baby probably. Trying to say goodnight, but um, um, you know, it is, uh, I really try not to. Um, and it is hard, man. It's hard not to take work home. It is very, very difficult. Um, and it's, it's very frustrating. It's probably like one of the hardest things that I have to consistently work on is not negotiating with my family and working with the family the same day I do at work. And I saw my dad had the same struggles when I was growing up. Right? He was very tough, very strict, very stern. Because that's exactly how he was at work and that's, that was his life. Um, it's definitely hard to do.

• 53:09Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing about your wife you love the most?

• 53:13Ryan Serhant?

  A lot. My mind immediately goes to the physical. Um, uh, she has a great body. Uh, do I love that the most? Um, it's a, it's a part of it. She, to be honest, man, like we have so much in common and we like the same amount of things. We also don't like the same amount of things. Like back when there were events and things, we would both love a good cancel. Like, oh dude, they canceled? Oh, yes. Let's just sit. Let's do zero things.

• 53:44Lewis Howes?

  Just be.

• 53:44Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, let's just be. Let's just like, what do you want? Let's watch a show about people being brutally murdered. That's calming. Let's do that, right? But I would say she has this insane. She is like my biggest, she's my biggest fan. She, and she is so unbelievably protective that sometimes it's almost uncomfortable. Because I'm like, I got it. I, you know, I can, I don't worry about me. I can figure it out. But she is, you know, my beautiful rock. Um, and uh, will stand by me through everything and believes in me way more than absolutely anybody.

• 54:27Ryan Serhant?

  Uh, through thick and through thin, even when I'm not there. Even when I make the mistake of treating her or anybody else like an employee, even when I put myself first every day. Um, uh, she is still there and that is very, very hard to do.

• 54:41Lewis Howes?

  And what's the thing you're most proud of as a father about your relationship with your daughter?

• 54:46Ryan Serhant?

  Xena, so Xena's two. Um, my relationship with her. I am baba to her. Uh, she knows I'm her dad, I think. Um, she's bilingual. She's bilingual.

• 55:00Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's good to go.

• 55:02Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, because my, Amelia and her, her mom who live with us are Greek and everyone's Greek, hardcore Greek from Athens. So it's Greek all day and then dad English. Um, and so, you know, she's, she doesn't speak a lot yet because there's lots of different things going on in her head. Um, I, the thing I'm probably most proud of. Uh, is. I don't know why this is so, I don't know why this stands out to me. I, um, we were gonna go out to the park. I was putting her in a stroller and she looked at me and she put her finger up and basically said, wait, like she forgot something. And she went back to the playroom and she came back.

• 55:45Ryan Serhant?

  And she got into her stroller and she had gone and she had gotten both of her fake cell phones. Um, and I, I carry two cell phones. And.

• 55:58Ryan Serhant?

  I don't, my mind immediately went to memory. Okay. Um, it's like, and to, wow, she watches like everything. Um, and you know, she will have a strong memory and she will be good at follow up. And making sure that things get done. I think the ability to execute is a very, very hard thing to teach people. Um, and I think that she'll be able to, to do that. She's also super nice. Like she holds kids' hands that she doesn't know. She hugs people she doesn't know. And that was not me as a little kid. So I can't take any credit for that.

• 56:40Ryan Serhant?

  Um, but it's like, it's awesome for me to see, cause if I could go back in time to myself as a little kid, I would tell myself to open up. Stop being so shy. People are going to be your greatest asset. Please meet more of them. Uh, instead of just watching TV. And I don't think Zena is ever gonna have that problem. She thinks like the whole world is her friend.

• 57:01Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. If someone is feeling financially broke right now, or just hasn't been able to break through this kind of limited amount of financial resources that have come in their life, whether they're entrepreneurial and they're broke, or they're at a job that they haven't really made a lot of money from, and they're just like, how do I really do this to get to the next level? They don't have the confidence. They don't have the skills yet. They have the desire, but they don't know how to make it happen. If you could only share three next steps, three next moves from that place on how they could really set them off, set themselves up for more financial success. And, and really attract that big money. What would those three steps be?

• 57:46Ryan Serhant?

  First of all, I think step one is doing a, and I'm not gonna give you like tactical steps, like, okay, here's what you're gonna do. 9am every day, right? Step one, you gotta do a self audit. And you need to decide if the things that you're doing with your time, because again, think about the wealthiest people. They're not going after the money every day. They're trying to maximize their time. So time is your greatest asset. Are you making the absolute best use of your time? Is what you're currently doing for work, where you get your paycheck? Is that the best use of that time to do that job? Is there any growth there? Is there anything else you can do? Do you even like it? You don't have to love it. Do you even like doing it? Because if you don't like doing it,

• 58:30Ryan Serhant?

  you're not going to push yourself to do it. You're not going to get out of bed to do it. And then you are going to get stuck in a rut and then you are going to get burnt out. And you are going to be sitting there waiting, right? We all need a place to go. Like, we're all fish, man. You know, like, if you're a hamster in a wheel, eventually you're just going to slow down and you're going to stop. But if you are on the river of life, like, success is around some corner. It's probably not around the first one or the second one, but it's out there somewhere. And eventually, the more you work and the harder you persevere, you will be dumped into the ocean, which is going to give you a thousand more possibilities.

• 59:14Ryan Serhant?

  And then you're going to say, I didn't even know this was possible for me. So do that self-audit as step one and really focus on what are you doing with your time? That is making you money, right? And could you do anything else? Like, for example, I was trying to model an act and very close to doing an hourly wage job to make money. And I knew that it all would have sucked. I was holding self, I was hand modeling. I was holding phones for 150 bucks an hour, pre-tax,

• 59:48Ryan Serhant?

  to make money. And I thought that was awesome, you know? And so I didn't want to do that stuff anymore. And so I got my license, I got my real estate license because I could do whatever I want all day long, every day, to make money. And not a single person is ever going to come to me and say, "Listen, Ryan, I think you sold too much." "You know what? That deal is too large. You're making the other agents look bad. We're not going to give you the bonus this year." Like, it doesn't happen, you know? And it's not- Okay, well, I worked my ass off hard today and then I kind of take it easy tomorrow. So I'm still gonna make the same amount of money this week. I worked my ass off really hard. I might make $0. I do nothing. I might still make $0. But what I put into it, I'm eventually going to take out. Mm hmm. So figure out what you're doing with that time is your first step.

• 1:00:33Ryan Serhant?

  Yep. The second step is most people, and it blows my mind. Most people have no idea the person they want to become. They have, they just kind of go with the flow, which is okay. They follow the path. They're like, well, I got this job. I had a kid. I do this. I do that. It is not that hard to look at your life like a whole movement. Get a pen and a paper or use your phone, right? But I find pen and paper sometimes is good for exercises because it actually like moving your arm physically and your wrist and your hand helps you remember things. And we're so used to typing, your brain can't remember whether you typed a note

• 1:01:18Ryan Serhant?

  or a text or an email because it's all the same physical movement. And so if you don't write things down, important things, make sure you do it with a pen and paper because you'll remember it. So write down who you want to be in 24 months and get really, really, really detailed. For me, I go out much further than that, but like, figure out where you want to be in two years. And maybe in two years, you're still in school if you're listening to this. So go out five years. Five years. What do you look like? How much do you weigh? What are you wearing? Where are you standing? Who are you standing next to? And don't write Abraham Lincoln. Like be realistic. Think about the absolute best version of yourself. Five years from today, what is that person doing?

• 1:02:04Ryan Serhant?

  And if they are living the greatest life ever, write that down and then do the reverse math and figure out for yourself how you're going to get there. Rip out that piece of paper and carry it in your pocket every day for the next year. And I swear to God, you will by default have predicted your future and you will figure out how to make more money because you're carrying it in your pocket with something that you personally wrote down. Like if anyone wants like a secret little mind trick, you do that little exercise and it works. Now, maybe you don't have the yacht that you wrote down for yourself, you lunatic.

• 1:02:43Ryan Serhant?

  But your life is going to be way better than it would have otherwise, right? That's step two.

• 1:02:49Ryan Serhant?

  And step three is honestly,

• 1:02:54Ryan Serhant?

  do not be afraid to ask for help. I think a big fear that a lot of people have, some people ask for help too much, okay? But most people have a fear,

• 1:03:10Ryan Serhant?

  and a friend told me this, a fear of being embarrassed.

• 1:03:14Ryan Serhant?

  And it's not even a fear of failure. They have a fear of being embarrassed. We are so focused on our appearance and our image now, right? Social media, this, that, where'd you go to school? Where'd you go to, what is your job? How much do you, what's your car? Like, get over your fear of being embarrassed and ask for help, ask for assistance. If you can do more and you can provide value for someone else, tell them and say, give me a chance. What's the worst they can do? Say no? Okay, great. Ask somebody else. And do not wallow in self despair and just wait. Ask for help. And if all else fails, tell that person

• 1:03:55Ryan Serhant?

  where you want to be in five years and say, and I think you can help me get there. And this is how I'm going to help us do that.

• 1:04:05Ryan Serhant?

  I just need an extra five bucks an hour. Or I need the ability to work on Saturdays. I know you don't pay overtime because of this, because of that. You tell me what else I can do. I'm gonna do that research for you, or I'm gonna stock the shelves for you, or I'm gonna do this for you.

• 1:04:20Ryan Serhant?

  And yeah, ask for help and put yourself in positions that might be uncomfortable, but they will pay you back. I think those are the three big things.

• 1:04:30Lewis Howes?

  You're 36, right? 37 in July?

• 1:04:34Ryan Serhant?

  37 in July, yeah.

• 1:04:37Lewis Howes?

  So I'd like you to imagine your 50-year-old self was in front of you.

• 1:04:41Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:42Lewis Howes?

  You're facing your 50-year-old self hypothetical scenario.

• 1:04:45Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Lewis Howes?

  And you get to have a conversation with your 50-year-old self. What would you say to your 50-year-old self? And what would you want your 50-year-old self to say to you as advice for the next 13 years?

• 1:05:03Ryan Serhant?

  So I think about this a lot. I think about this an unhealthy amount. I should stop. I should focus more on the moment. I I would ask myself,

• 1:05:18Ryan Serhant?

  was it worth it?

• 1:05:21Lewis Howes?

  Was well worth it? The effort, the work?

• 1:05:24Ryan Serhant?

  Yeah, like every was, was it worth it? Like, you know, I work every day. Right? I work all day, every day. My eyes wake up and I work and I'm, you know, I, I feed off the stress, but it is a lot. Like, I spend very little time with my wife. It is calendared when I see the baby.

• 1:05:50Ryan Serhant?

  In an alternate universe, my life isn't like that, but that's the sacrifice that I need to make right now for what I'm trying to build. And I want to know,

• 1:06:02Ryan Serhant?

  when I'm 50, was it worth it? Cause maybe he says yes, maybe he says you could have done it with a different schedule. I don't know, whatever he's gonna say. And I want 50-year-old me.

• 1:06:18Ryan Serhant?

  One, I want him to tell me, yes, it was worth it, but I, I also think he would tell me, because I would tell this to myself when I was 26. You should have gone bigger.

• 1:06:30Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:31Ryan Serhant?

  Right?

• 1:06:33Ryan Serhant?

  You could have gone bigger, like you should have, you should have done it. Because like I said, my, like, I don't ever want to say if only. Because most of the risks that I think we're faced with, almost all of them. The worst thing that can happen is most often not death. Right?

• 1:06:59Ryan Serhant?

  So how do you push yourself to like, go that extra mile? You know, you think about, I don't know, as a analogy, like, physical fitness, right? If you do the same thing every day that you're comfortable with, your body gets used to it. You do not lose weight, you do not gain muscle. No matter what, even people who have gastric bypass, eventually you do the same thing over and over. You put the weight back on. Okay, because you're treating your body unlike the way you treat your mind. And so your body only changes, and it's the only body you have, if you push it that extra mile. Right?

• 1:07:41Ryan Serhant?

  And I find the same thing in life, I find the same thing in business. It's why I started a residential real estate company in the middle of a pandemic in New York City when a million people left. It's why I just rented 15,000 square feet in the middle of Soho and took down a building bigger than Prada. Like, I'm not Prada. What the fuck am I doing? Like, what? No real estate company has an office like that. It's why I'm trying to change the game because I know that as long as I, as long as I work and stay busy, I will be too busy to fail. It just has to work. Because I wrote it down that it does work and it's in my pocket.

• 1:08:21Lewis Howes?

  What is the biggest year in sales you've done so far? What's that number, Ben?

• 1:08:27Ryan Serhant?

  Single year, 2017, I closed $838 million.

• 1:08:33Ryan Serhant?

  Uh, in a single year. It was the biggest year with closings. Two thousand nineteen, I did one point four billion, which was the, which was closed and sa- and uh, in contract. So it was, but it was just over. It was like seven fifty and like six ninety, something like that in contract. So that was the biggest year for total transactions. So they, for me, I focus on total transactions because it's, it's the work, right?

• 1:08:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:59Ryan Serhant?

  Whether it closes this calendar year or not, right? Like I did the work in twenty nineteen and then twenty twenty was like just the worst. Like twenty, we were halved, halved in twenty twenty.

• 1:09:11Lewis Howes?

  What's the goal this year?

• 1:09:14Ryan Serhant?

  Um, my goal this year is written right over here and it's seven hundred million and we'll probably hit that by like June. Now I gotta push myself even further.

• 1:09:26Lewis Howes?

  What would it take and what would it look like to do three billion this year?

• 1:09:31Ryan Serhant?

  Um.

• 1:09:32Lewis Howes?

  What would it take for you? How, what would you need to show up differently?

• 1:09:36Ryan Serhant?

  I just scale.

• 1:09:37Lewis Howes?

  Cross two, or to cross two billion. What would that look like?

• 1:09:40Ryan Serhant?

  It would, it would look like a lot more people than just myself, which I am actively working on to scale the brand and scale the business so I can multiply. Um, uh, and I learned that early, like one of the best pieces of advices, one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given when, you know, as an entrepreneur was learn how to use people. Use people. Use people underneath you. Use people above you. The people above you can help you get to the next step. The people below you are gonna let you step on them so that you can get to that next step and they're gonna be appreciative of it because they weren't in that position anyway. So how can you consistently use people? Scale. Use people. Scale and grow and grow and grow.

• 1:10:25Ryan Serhant?

  Um, uh, and most people are like, wow, I can do it by myself. And that's impossible.

• 1:10:33Ryan Serhant?

  Can't build a rocket by yourself.

• 1:10:36Lewis Howes?

  There you go. Couple of final questions for you. Before I do, ask those questions, I want people to check out this book, Big Money Energy, How to Rule at Work, Dominate at Life, and Make Millions. This is a really inspiring book, lots of great stories, funny stories, great lessons, principles. Make sure to check this out if you want to learn more about how to earn more, how to make more, how to change your narrative around money as well, which I think a lot of people need to start with that is the energy and the mindset around money. Really, really well done book. Big Money Energy. Make sure you guys pick up a copy. Lots of different codes, practices, examples, stories, lessons, and all that stuff. This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths. It's a hypothetical

• 1:11:21Lewis Howes?

  scenario again. I'd like you to imagine that it is the last day on earth for you many years away. You get to live as long as you want to live, but eventually you got to turn off the lights. And everything you've ever created, this episode, this book, you know, all of your content, it's got to go with you to the next place, wherever that is. So there's no information about you in the world anymore. Hypothetical scenario. But you got a piece of paper and a pen that you get to write down three lessons that you've learned in your life, and you could share these lessons with the world. These are the only things you could share to have to remember you by of your information. I call it the three truths. What would you say are yours?

• 1:12:02Ryan Serhant?

  Oh, God, the school of greatness. What are these questions? I guess the first lesson is that

• 1:12:14Ryan Serhant?

  people want to work with people they like. And kindness will always take you further than any other emotion. Right? Even when you don't want to be kind. It is important, right? Life is short, and what comes around goes around. That's one. Two is you can always go further. Like, you know.

• 1:12:45Ryan Serhant?

  There's always that extra push that you can do. There's always that extra thing. There's always that little bit of extra. You know, it's like the mom that can pick up a car if her kid's stuck underneath it. Like she's not that strong, but she went that extra in that moment. Does she gain more muscle? Is she a soup? No, but in that moment, she could go further. The third thing, you know, for me is it's a quote. And so I know it's a cliche one, but it is so true. What got you here won't get you there.

• 1:13:19Ryan Serhant?

  And that's every day. And I think for people too, who feel like they, you know, well, this isn't meant for them. Well, I was born here. I'll never, that'll never, that'll never work for me. I'm not that smart that I can't even get there. Right? Any, any self doubters out there who read my three truths, now that I'm dead, um, uh, sucks. I had so much more to do. Um, uh, like absolutely anything is possible. Right? Uh, if you believe it to be true. And whatever got you here, and if it's a situation that sucks, right? Don't worry, because it ain't getting you there.

• 1:14:05Lewis Howes?

  Ryan, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, man. This is, uh, this has been powerful and inspiring and I acknowledge you for the constant transformation you make every year for your life from starting, you know, 12, 13 years ago, making only $9,000. I think in that first year in transactions to now doing roughly a billion on average a year, uh, and above that. And this year is going to be closer to 2 billion. And I acknowledge you for, for, for, for living in your truth, for doing the things that you really desire, for going after it all out, for inspiring people and sharing your journey along the way. You've got an amazing, you know, vlog and YouTube channel and all the content you create for people to show people how you've done this. So I acknowledge you for showing up, man, and for opening up here. I think it's really inspiring what you're creating.

• 1:14:49Lewis Howes?

  And, uh, I'm glad to be a part of it, uh, in a small way to support you through this. And I want people to get the book again, Big Money Energy, How to Rule at Work, Dominate a Life and Make Millions. Lots of great stories, lessons, examples, practical strategies on how to do this for yourself. So make sure you guys check this out. You are all over social media, Ryan Serhant on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. I think Facebook is Ryan Serhant official, but everywhere else people can follow you, RyanSerhant.com to learn more about there. And I have anything else that I, you have a podcast as well on iHeart that people can check out that I was on also, if you want to hear Ryan Grill Me, which

• 1:15:33Lewis Howes?

  I thought you did, you know, your first couple of interviews, I thought you did a great job. I was like, man, you're a great interviewer. Probably because you ask people questions all day long when you're showing them real estate. So you understand the psychology of asking questions. Anything else we need to be aware of?

• 1:15:48Ryan Serhant?

  Last thing I'll say is if you are looking to buy or sell a home, my email is [email protected]. Or you can go to serhant.com.

• 1:16:00Lewis Howes?

  People, people need it in New York or anywhere?

• 1:16:03Ryan Serhant?

  Any, New York, I mean, we're in New York, the majority of our business in New York, but I have, you know, our, our platform has 6,100 agents in 109 countries now. So

• 1:16:13Lewis Howes?

  Anywhere.

• 1:16:14Ryan Serhant?

  Anywhere.

• 1:16:15Lewis Howes?

  And final question, what was that? [email protected] as you said?

• 1:16:18Ryan Serhant?

  [email protected] is the email. Yeah.

• 1:16:21Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Email Ryan if you want to buy a home or sell a home. Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:16:27Ryan Serhant?

  Well, my, my mind goes immediately to like happiness. I say things are great a lot. It's like definitely one of my most overused words. I think these are great all the time. And it's, it's kind of synonymous with pure happiness for me. So greatness is also like the school of unbridled happiness. Because you can be great, but if you're not happy, life is short.

• 1:16:56Lewis Howes?

  Ryan Serhant, thanks, man. Appreciate you.

• 1:16:59Lewis Howes?

  Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you did enjoy it, then do me a favor and share this with a friend. You can copy and paste the link wherever you're listening to this podcast, or use lewishouse.com/1098 and just share this out to a few friends right now. Text it to them. Post this on social media if you enjoyed it and thought it was valuable for you. And I'd love your thoughts on what you enjoyed most from this. Please leave us a review and a rating over on Apple Podcasts right now with your biggest takeaway. And we love to share those with our Greatness Newsletter every single week. So make sure to post your review, what you enjoyed most about this, and make sure to subscribe over on Apple Podcasts or Spotify as well. And I want

• 1:17:41Lewis Howes?

  to leave you with this quote from John Maxwell, who said, "There are two kinds of people in this world, those who want to get things done, and those who don't want to make mistakes." Which one are you? I want you to think about it. Because the person that wants to get things done is always going to make mistakes and is always going to be failing in their path and process towards accomplishing what they want. So be willing to make mistakes, learn from them, keep moving forward. It's not about being perfect. It's about getting things done in a powerful way and move you closer to your dreams. I'm so grateful you took the time today to be here. And I want to remind you, if no one's told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.