How To Shift Your Money Mindset To Unlock Financial Freedom | Anas Bukhash

Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! I sat down with Anas Bukhash, the biggest talk show host in Dubai and a successful entrepreneur running multiple businesses in the UAE, for a fascinating conversation about wealth, culture, and relationships. Having lived in both America and Dubai, Anas offers a unique perspective on how these contrasting societies approach money. He reveals how Dubai's entrepreneurial energy creates genuine wealth-building opportunities that many Americans struggle to find, despite the "American Dream" narrative. Through vulnerable reflections on his early marriage, subsequent divorce, and ten years of singlehood, Anas also shares his evolving journey toward emotional intimacy and the inner work he's doing with his therapist to understand his patterns. His insights on balancing business success with personal growth offer valuable wisdom for anyone seeking to build meaningful prosperity in both their financial and emotional lives. AB Talks - Anas’s talk showAnas on InstagramAnas on YouTubeIn this episode you will learn:How Dubai's entrepreneurial culture creates wealth-building opportunities that differ fundamentally from the American economic landscapeWhy growing up in wealth versus earning it yourself creates different relationships with money and successThe surprising role that daily prayer plays in creating structured pauses for reflection and emotional regulationHow vulnerability and control issues in relationships mirror our approach to business and successThe critical difference between "casual" relationships and true emotional intimacy in creating lasting fulfillmentWhy the strength of family units and support systems play a crucial role in Dubai's rapid developmentHow therapy can help identify unconscious patterns that affect both our business decisions and personal relationshipsWhy parenting styles often condition boys to suppress emotions, creating challenges for emotional expression later in lifeFor more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1753For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:Robert Herjavec – greatness.lnk.to/1729SCJillian Turecki – greatness.lnk.to/1740SCJaspreet Singh – greatness.lnk.to/1644SC Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy. And if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life, and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to makemoneymeasibook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment, moving forward. We have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode on the School of Greatness. Thank you so much for being here on the School of Greatness.

• 0:43Lewis Howes?

  I want to remind you that you are a blessed human being. And if anyone ever tries to discount you, I want you to remember that you are worthier than you think. You have more value than you think. You're deserving of love and peace more than you think. And sometimes we forget that. I know for most of my life, I didn't believe I had worth, based on the experiences I went through and based on the meaning that I interpreted around those events in my life. And in fact, for many years, I thought I was unworthy and unlovable. And so I had to prove myself. I had to over accomplish. I had to overcompensate.

• 1:25Lewis Howes?

  I had to, you know, boost my ego to feel like I mattered. And for whatever reason, the more I chased accomplishments and success from a place of a wound, and the more I ran away from my past pain, instead of healing and creating integrating relationship with myself, creating boundaries in life with others, making sure I was going away from people pleasing and living in true alignment service, rather than trying to please to try to be accepted or seen, that's when everything shifted. And I just want to remind you, before we jump in today's episode with my friend Anas, that you are loved and you are worthy beyond measure.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Emeasurable on how worthy and loved you are. But sometimes you just need that constant reminder. And I'm so grateful that you're here, part of the School of Greatness community, because this is a place where you can be constantly reminded of your worth. You matter, you are loved, you are accepted, but it starts with you. And if you're not willing to create that inner harmony and inner abundance within yourself by taking yourself on that journey of healing, peace and prosperity, then you'll always feel stuck. You'll always feel like something's off and like you're never enough. And so this is your reminder. And I just want to say thank you for always showing up for you

• 2:54Lewis Howes?

  and being here a part of the School of Greatness. And if you haven't heard yet, the new book that we launched a week ago, Make Money Easy, Create Financial Freedom and Live a Richer Life, became an instant New York Times bestseller. And I want to say thank you and acknowledge you for your support in buying the book and getting copies for your friends and coming out to see me on tour and all the different things in your support of this journey. It means a lot to me. And we work really hard here at the School of Greatness to find the best guests, the best content, the best research and share it with you in ways that can serve your heart, your mind, in a way that that helps you today.

• 3:37Lewis Howes?

  And if you're struggling today, I hope the book helps you today. I hope this interview helps you today. And all the content we have here on the School of Greatness helps you every single day. We are here to be of service to you. So please let me know how we can continue to help you. You can always email me, you can email us. You can send me a message on Instagram and connect there. But we're here to serve you. We appreciate you. And without further ado, let's dive into this episode today. You live in Dubai, a city of wealth and of extreme luxury. But you also grew up in America. So you have a mixture of American values and Dubai culture that you live in.

• 4:18Lewis Howes?

  And you are surrounded by and have interviewed some of the wealthiest people in the world. And I'm curious, what is the difference that you've learned from Americans and those who live in America who think about money versus business and those who think about money in Dubai? What is the difference in the mindset?

• 4:38Speaker 01

  What I think, these are all just perspectives. I don't know how accurate they are, but I feel in the US, it's a bit siloed, like each to their own. Like you don't have this unity in between each other and you're a go-getter and you want to just make as much as you can. And I don't know, I don't find that cooperative feeling as much. Maybe now versus 50 years ago, it's different.

• 5:03Lewis Howes?

  So more like, single-minded, competitive, I'm gonna get mine, I'm gonna compete against you, that type of thing?

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Probably. And then in Dubai specifically, because also each place in the region is different. In Dubai, there's a crazy level of entrepreneurship. If you actually, if whatever anybody now is watching, whatever you Google, can you believe that the UAE has done all of this in 50 years, which is younger than our parents? People sometimes criticize the UAE or Dubai and they say, ah, it's this or that, it's fake or no. No, that, do you actually realize how many years we've built all of that? It's very short, so it's a very entrepreneurial city. In Dubai, a lot of people come there, whether from the US, from the UK, from Europe, from

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Asia, that's where they start their careers because they create a business. And don't forget, it's like raw. So when Lewis has an idea and you come and pitch it in the UAE or in Dubai, you probably are the first one. It's not like it's a thousand years old and many people thought and built those businesses. No, you might be. So all of my startups are technically the first of its kind.

• 6:14Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Not because I'm a genius, it's because it's a young country. So I have an idea, I start it and it does well. So very entrepreneurial.

• 6:22Lewis Howes?

  What is the, for a lot of people who've never been there, they think of like it's, maybe it's superficial, or maybe those who have visited, it's very superficial, there's luxury everywhere, it's an excess of money. It just seems like it's just unlimited, like it just keeps coming.

• 6:40Lewis Howes?

  Does that help or hurt values within the communities there by having that much money? Or what does that do to values or communities?

• 6:49Speaker 01

  I think it's an inaccurate perception. Do a lot of rich people move to Dubai? Absolutely, because Dubai has provided so much, like it's, you know, you leave your car keys in the car.

• 7:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  You, your doors are generally open. And it doesn't happen by coincidence. It happens because the level of security and the level of effort that the government is putting is immense, like the other day I was walking with somebody who was just coming for a week, and she goes, "Can we walk here?" And I'm like, "Yeah." And for her, it was shocking, because she's like, "In Europe, I can't do this walk at the end of the night."

• 7:29Lewis Howes?

  Alone.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, no way. For me, it's a no-brainer, but for her, it's a brainer. So I think the level of safety and the level of logistics and the level of ease to build your business and all of that, and the network you build in Dubai, it's, well, if you think the world has six degrees of separation between any two people, I think in Dubai, it's two.

• 7:50Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Between you and anybody, it's probably two, max. So your network there is crazy. So that's why the rich people are moving. The schooling is great, the logistics is good, the quality of life is good, safety, which is quite undervalued, is so important. So that's why you see a lot of rich people there. But it doesn't mean there are no middle class and low-income people, everybody, there are all kinds of people. Now, to the second part of your question, how has it affected maybe culture? The interesting thing about Dubai has always been a trading city. Even my grandfather, when he was there, it's where people used to go to the port, sell carpets, sell spices, sell gold. So it's always had a lot of people, different nationalities. So we're quite accustomed to that.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  But you still feel a sense of value and togetherness, which I love, like I don't want to lose that. So.

• 8:41Lewis Howes?

  What is the, what is the mindset about how to generate wealth? How is it different with people in Dubai then versus in America? From your experience, how do they think about money differently?

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 8:53Lewis Howes?

  Is it, is it, um, is it scary? Is it something they're anxious about? Are they holding on to it? Are they, or are they thinking, I'll spend it, invest it, because I'm going to create more of it?

• 9:03Speaker 01

  That's also a good question. I've lived in the US and in the US, I feel, I do feel, and I hope nobody gets bothered. I don't, the American dream is, is quite just a dream. Like, I do think one percent make it and they make it big, probably the best in the world. If you make it in the US as the one percent, yeah, but the ninety-nine percent who come with the American dream, I don't know if they ever achieve their dream because I see them hustling so much just to live okay. Not even wow, not even really comfortable. It's like, I'm doing two jobs and a part-time and my wife is doing this and my son. And you're like, all of you are working for this level. So I always found that the marketing wise is great.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  You know, you think I'm gonna come and build this life, but I do think that has shifted. Now you come to the region, I've seen a lot of expats come to the UAE and Dubai and they actually live the dream. They, they come, they build a business. It could be a chocolate business, it could be a specialty coffee, it could be whatever, textile. And suddenly they have sixteen branches. So how we look at money is not out of fear. Because it's contagious when you live in a very entrepreneurial city. If you go to New York, it's a bit different than going maybe to Dallas or to Wisconsin. It's, it's very contagious in Dubai that everybody's coming up with an idea.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  So it's competitive, but if you're entrepreneurial, it's pretty a good place to be. And I've seen people, like even my, my best friend is from Boston. So a few years ago, I kept telling him, come with your wife, come to Dubai, trust me, trust me. And I had to nag for years. Eventually he did and it's, for him, you can ask him, it's the best decision he's ever made. His kids all go to a good school, he has a beautiful villa, has a nice car, has a great family. And it's safe. And he's built a business as a consultant now. So it's not like I'm selling something, I've seen it happen.

• 10:59Lewis Howes?

  He's making more money in Dubai now than America.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 11:02Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  Is there, do people talk about money differently though? Is it like an open conversation? Because I feel like a lot of people live in fear around money or it's taboo to talk about sometimes. Or it's hard to get in America sometimes. They see a few people, the 1%, getting it. And they're like, okay, maybe it's possible for them, but not for me. How's the conversation around abundance and money different in Dubai?

• 11:30Speaker 01

  I think when you live Louis in a city where you see people make it, and when I say make it, it doesn't mean you have to be a millionaire. You could just have $10,000, $20,000, but you're happy with it. So even the idea of wealth and abundance is a subjective thing. Some people don't want a million dollars. They just want a quality life where when he wants to buy a T-shirt, he buys it and he doesn't need to do three jobs to do that.

• 11:51Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  And I think that's the difference. Here, it feels they put so much effort just to live okay.

• 11:58Lewis Howes?

  Just survive, just to keep up on the rent and the payments and bills.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  There, there's more of a direct correlation as, okay, Louis came to Dubai. He worked this much, he will get the return on investment. Here, I feel you work this much, your return on investment is like, ah.

• 12:12Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

• 12:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  But that's the perception I get. I haven't lived here for a while.

• 12:18Lewis Howes?

  How did you, I mean, when you grew up here though, what was your perspective around money growing up in the States? Did you, did your parents talk about it openly? Was it a free-flowing conversation? Was it, hey, we don't have a lot of it, so don't go spend this. We can't buy this. What was that conversation like? And did it shift when you started to go to Dubai more?

• 12:39Speaker 01

  So on a tangent, the idea of discussing money, I do think is quite taboo in Arab and Asian. Like you don't sit on a lunch table and talk about it. If you read the book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, he had that contrast. One of the fathers is like, oh, it's the devil talk. You don't talk about money on this table. And then another father is like, no, we talk about money. So I never came from a culture where you talked about investments and, oh, we should invest in stocks and we should do this and don't put it in this account. Never, so financial literacy was extremely poor for me. And for a lot of my generation. You just don't talk about it. You just put your money in the saving and get your one percent per year, which is probably the most silly thing you could do with your money. If now today we are more educated, we're like, no, move your money, keep something.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  But move it, put a bit here, put a bit there, get some. Make your money work. Don't let it just stay in a bank. So that was never discussed, if that's the question. It's, and when I lived in Boston.

• 13:34Lewis Howes?

  That was, that was when you were in Boston.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  No, that was ever, always.

• 13:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, your parents never did talk about, yeah.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  And I don't think they had the idea, the financial literacy to teach us. And if you don't have the conversation, you never improve. You never debate, you never discuss which stock you should go to. So we didn't have that, but in Boston, I was on a scholarship and Boston is expensive.

• 13:55Lewis Howes?

  Very.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  So I was just trying to manage my, I was, I've been independent since I was seventeen. So, yeah, just how to, I, I remember Louis. The, we didn't have nice clothes when we were students. And, and my, my roommate was chunky, he was big, and I was so skinny. I was like, like half of this. And I was like, man, there's this store, we need to go. I don't even promote them, but it's just a designer. And I'm like, we need to get a T-shirt, but it was expensive for us. It was so expensive. Now it's not, but you look at it like we can't buy anything from there. So like, you know, why don't we buy one T-shirt like in the middle, the size? Somewhere where it looks like you're wearing spandex and for me it looks like I'm.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  And we, we literally shared, like, he's this big and I'm this small. But we both paid for it and it was really nice to have, but it just didn't look good on any of us.

• 14:49Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  But that was how, I think it's beautiful that you work towards then earning your money that so you can live well.

• 14:58Lewis Howes?

  When did you start to think about money differently? Because it sounds like you grew up where it wasn't talked about, your parents didn't talk about it, and you weren't allowed to have open conversations. So when did the shift happen for you? Where you said, I need to learn about money differently to be able to run my business or to be able to raise the kids I have or whatever it might be. What year was that? And when did it start to unlock where money flowed to you?

• 15:24Speaker 01

  The problem is I'm very ignorant when it comes to investments and I'm teaching myself. So, real estate is something that my grandfather did very well, God rest his soul, and we never learnt how he did it.

• 15:39Lewis Howes?

  He didn't teach you guys?

• 15:40Speaker 01

  No, and I think with me, because I'm a purist, when it comes to my entrepreneurship, I follow my passion and when money comes, it comes. And the good thing is, if you're usually good at what you do, it eventually does come, but it doesn't mean you're being smart. Because you could, let's say, you suddenly make, the first time you open the podcast and six months you make $10,000, buy new cameras, get the sound engineer, and suddenly you're back to zero. So, you need to realise, okay, if I'm ill, how am I making money? If you're sleeping, as Lewis, are people purchasing my book? Are people purchasing a course? And that's who, I think, I started to think more like that in the last five years or so.

• 16:23Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Where, how can I have passive income? And even I was talking to my brother the other day and he's like, yeah, this year's been challenging. We need to restructure, blah, blah, blah. And I told him, you know what? His name is Harith. I'm like, Harith, even if you take out $1,000, $5,000, whatever, every month, just put $2,000 somewhere. Put it in crypto, put it in real estate, anything. One of those are gonna hit, but I don't want it in the bank. So, let's start, and he's good with crypto and we're good with stocks. So, like, it doesn't have to be a big one. So, this is something also for the audience. We don't have to feel crippled. You could put $100, you could put $500, but that times 12 months is something.

• 17:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  And that in five years is something else. And I think we need to do that more. We're so afraid and we keep things in there saving because we're like, oh, rainy day. Yeah, but keep something as security, what will make you live maybe for three months. After that, move everything, let it move.

• 17:22Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  And that's what I'm trying to do now.

• 17:25Lewis Howes?

  I mean, you've interviewed a lot of, I think you've interviewed some people in the royal family, right?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Sorry?

• 17:30Lewis Howes?

  Have you interviewed some people in the royal family?

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:32Lewis Howes?

  In Dubai?

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 17:35Lewis Howes?

  And what is the difference between those who grow up in wealth versus those that don't grow up with money?

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Hmm, that's a great question.

• 17:44Lewis Howes?

  Because a lot of people in the royal family, or the, you know, the children of the royal family, they grew up in wealth, right? It's just around them. Is there a difference in the way they think, the way they act, the way they move? Do they have an entitlement? Are they more humble? What is the difference between growing up in wealth versus not?

• 18:02Speaker 01

  It's a very good question, and of course, you have all kinds of people.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  You know, some rich families, the kids take it for granted. They don't feel the value of money. And some, they suddenly have a business acumen and a finance acumen. And the ones I was lucky to befriend, it's, they don't feel inferior to money. I think a lot of us that we came from a modest background or a simple background, it's like, it's a taboo. It's like, how can I get it, you know? But when you, when you think it's just a tool and like, it's a mindset, it's kind of a confident mindset. You know, when you feel you can't get the girl, or you're already losing? So you walk up to the girl, you're already feeling inferior, or you're insecure, or you're trembling.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  That energy doesn't welcome the best-looking or the smartest girl, for example. But if you're like, I think it's worth a try. You know what? I think I have the right confidence. Let me have a conversation. Very different response. And I think their confidence towards money because they've lived it is a bit different for somebody who's like, I don't know. And I really believe law of attraction only works not by what you write down or what you say out loud. I think it's, law of attraction is based on conviction, inner conviction. And if your inner conviction is clear that you actually, Lewis actually inside, believes he will have the best-selling book next year, for example, you truly think.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  No, my book, I wrote it so well, it has a definite chance for it. Then you have a chance. But if you're like, it's not that good. Well, you say it's good to everybody, but internally, and the same goes to how we look and same goes to how we feel about our brain, our self-esteem, and what we think we're worth. So if you look at your relationship with money, and you truly think, I'm talented, I'm working hard, and I'm pretty sure I can one day have a vehicle like a private jet. I think I can have a private jet, or I think I can have a million dollars, or, or, or. You truly believe it. I do think if you, then you add that with the work, it will equal manifestation.

• 20:13Lewis Howes?

  For someone though, watching or listening that's saying, well, it's easy to have conviction when your parents are wealthy and you grew up in wealth. But if I didn't grow up in wealth, or I have a more of a modest upbringing like us, how do I create a conviction inside of me that I feel comfortable around money? And I feel comfortable money is coming to me if I don't know how to handle it?

• 20:38Speaker 01

  On the first part, I will contradict it too. So some, let's say a wealthy kid who his parents pass away, he inherits all the money. How many blow out all the money?

• 20:50Lewis Howes?

  A lot of them.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Because that, you see, so it doesn't guarantee sustainability, doesn't guarantee profitability for the long run. A lot of wealthy kids, they just don't know the value of money, or they're not financially literate to know how to keep it. Dad had a lot of money.

• 21:07Lewis Howes?

  He's the one who made it.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  And now I don't know how to make money. I lose it all, I throw it all away in five years. A lot of even professional athletes or whatever, as soon as they stop, whoop, all the money goes. So it's never a guarantee if you were born into wealthier, stay wealthy. Who made you wealthy? You need to learn from that person.

• 21:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Now, with, with us to, for, for somebody that comes from a more modest background, I do believe in small wins. You know, it's like.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Confidence is a muscle. And if you train it, it's gonna get strong. And if you stop training, it's gonna wither away. And then you have to retrain it. Maybe the second time you retrain it, it's quicker to build. Because you have the body memory. And I think the same confidence for me has always been departments in your brain. So when we say somebody is confident, it's a very blanket statement. It's quite inaccurate. Yeah, but he's confident in what? Oh, he's a great public speaker, so he's very confident in public speaking. But maybe he's very not confident in relationships. Maybe he's very insecure as a father. So we cannot just say somebody is just confident. It's a very delusional way of giving that sticker away. So I like to see it as departments.

• 22:21Speaker 01

  And how do you build these departments is by practice. A bicycle, the first time we tried to get on a bicycle. We were so insecure, we were so fearful. We put those two small training wheels on the side, then you remove one. But eventually, you even do it without even holding the handle. You're so good at it. And even if you stop for a year, the next time you quickly pick it up. So I believe that's my advice is trial. So when you try, you're like, man, and as I invested in Five Stock, they all flopped except one. It's not bad, you know? I think this is why, when I did the research on this one, kind of worked more. And suddenly you're getting 1% confidence, 2% confidence, 3%. And suddenly you're at 70% confident. And now you know your shit. You know how to.

• 23:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  And I think that's so important.

• 23:06Lewis Howes?

  It's interesting because I was, I was looking at an office building a couple of months ago. And one of the, one of the units I was looking at to rent out. The broker, I was like, ah, I feel like it needs some upgrades or whatever. Would the, would the owner put money to invest to upgrade it? And she was like, whatever you need done, she will do. Because she has owner's guilt. And I go, what do you mean? She goes, well. She got handed this building, this big building, and she's got a portfolio of like massive real estate portfolio that she didn't create. It was like her father passed away and gave her all the properties. So the broker is like, whatever you need, she's gonna do it because

• 23:48Lewis Howes?

  she feels guilty. And so she'll invest in like just making it nice for you. Not trying to make the most money from it, but just like, I'm already making so much that I didn't create.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  It's imposter syndrome.

• 23:59Lewis Howes?

  It's kind of just like, yeah, I'll do whatever to just to make people happy type of thing. Do you notice that as well in Dubai with like children of the royal family who've been handed a lot of money? Do they have this kind of guilt for receiving it? Or they have a different level of confidence?

• 24:15Speaker 01

  I don't know many in the royal family, but the ones I've met are really impressive.

• 24:23Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 24:23Speaker 01

  I swear. Like, just the level of sophistication, the level of knowledge and well-traveling, that's huge, you know, when you're well-traveled or when you're well-educated. And when you, Louis, when you're born, and I hope I don't sound too biased, but I'm a big fan of my own country. And the writing is in the pudding, like you can see, it's actually a great country. So when I see how the leadership that made the country a united Arab Emirates, how they were visionaries, like literally Louis, with everybody watching, can we, if anybody told us 60 years ago, that this piece of desert is going to be one of the most sought-out

• 25:07Speaker 01

  countries in the world and best cities to live in in the world, nobody would have believed it. Not you, not me, nobody, nobody. But you had visionaries. And if somebody's going to watch this, yeah, of course, you had the oil money. How many countries in the world have oil money?

• 25:21Lewis Howes?

  A lot.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  Where are they?

• 25:22Lewis Howes?

  Not too well.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  That's my point. There is, there are, some of them have corruption, some of them, they just don't know how to use it or invest it in their people. You know that one of our leaders, God rest his soul, he's the founder of the UAE, his name is Sheikh Zayed, Allah rahmatullah. So Sheikh Zayed, when he was taking the leadership, I'm told that he went to families, telling them, and listen to this, he telling them, I'll pay you if you send your children, your boys and girls to school. Not you pay to go to school, no, I will pay you. I will reward you if you send our children to school. And we call him Baba Zaid, which is like father Zaid, because he was literally a father to a lot of people in the country and outside.

• 26:09Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Like, I've been to Comoros Islands, which nobody probably knows where it is. And I saw, I was in the car, because I was with UNICEF. And we're going across this island, and I see a small school, and it's written Sheikh Zaid School for Children. I'm like, he even has a school here? So he was very, even in the US, he did a lot, by the way, a lot for the hospitals and for a lot of charity. So coming back to the idea, if you have a leader who's investing in these people and paying them, like, please send them to school, please. Because he knows in 20 years, those kids are the next wave. So I think when you say petrol money, it's one thing, but what are you doing with it? For example, Dubai doesn't have petrol.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  But look at Dubai.

• 26:54Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Number one income tourism. Look at that, like, that's a huge achievement. People might not, people might think Dubai is still running on oil. No. Dubai is about tourism.

• 27:04Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 27:04Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 27:05Lewis Howes?

  How much does it bring in a year with tourism?

• 27:06Speaker 01

  I don't know, I can't make up those. I'm sure we can find them on ChatGPT, but just in the last two years, I was talking to somebody in the tourism. In the last two years, we have increased, only Dubai, 400,000 new people.

• 27:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  And they're not low income. These are families that are bringing money and investments in the city. I know Miami, I heard Miami is doing very well also in the US, and there are certain cities that are providing a good place for families to come and just settle. So.

• 27:37Lewis Howes?

  That takes extreme vision for someone like that to say, okay, we are in a, you know, a plot of sand. There's nothing here. There's no infrastructure. There's no plumbing. There's no roads. There's no nothing. It's just sand, desert and heat. And Dubai is hot, man. It's hard to fricking live there.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  In the summer, yeah.

• 27:54Lewis Howes?

  It is. Oh, it penetrates your soul, that type of heat.

• 27:58Speaker 01

  It's just so different, Louis. Even the ruler of Dubai, he decided to build a port when nobody, they're like, why you want to build such a big port? And he's like, we should build it. And everybody didn't agree or didn't see it. That is one of the most important ports in the region today. Like, when you think of it, like, it's easy not to say, "Yeah, of course you should build a port." No, no, like, back then, why would you?

• 28:21Lewis Howes?

  Right, no one was going there, yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  And, but, you know, when you have, that's beautiful. Like, I would love to sit on a dinner table and listen to people like that, that had, and we have them across the world, whether it's a Muhammad Ali, or a Gandhi, or a Mandela. You have visionaries, and they saw something that they didn't need to do, because some of them are already wealthy, they're okay, they don't need to do it. But there's a passion in the people, and I think if you invest in the people, you never go wrong, never.

• 28:49Lewis Howes?

  That's true.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  And notice all the names that I just said, they all invested in their people.

• 28:57Lewis Howes?

  So how is the conversation around money today there? Are people talking about it openly, or is it still taboo in conversation?

• 29:04Speaker 01

  Not taboo at all.

• 29:05Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Now, people talk.

• 29:08Lewis Howes?

  They do.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  I think the internet also helped a lot, you know?

• 29:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Investments in people, how they use their money. It's in my family, it wasn't, but I know even in Asian families.

• 29:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Usually money won't be discussed much.

• 29:20Lewis Howes?

  So when you're around the royal family, or you see them, they're very sophisticated, they're very well-traveled. What else do they have? They're very well-educated?

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Very. And again, because we have this lineage, right? If you start from Sheikh Zayed and Rashid, who are the founders, and then you, you take that teaching, and how they approached the country, and how it was so important that the people are happy. For example, as an Emirati, we get land for free. We get a loan to build, we get an interest-free. We get, um, education for free. We get, um, what else? There is a loan to build, and a loan for weddings.

• 30:00Lewis Howes?

  A loan for weddings?

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you can actually get married, and...

• 30:03Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 30:03Speaker 01

  So they set you up.

• 30:05Lewis Howes?

  How important...

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Like, it's not so, they will set you up, they'll support you where it's really important to set you for life.

• 30:10Lewis Howes?

  How important is marriage and family in Dubai, or in UAE?

• 30:16Speaker 01

  It's huge.

• 30:17Lewis Howes?

  Why? Why are they investing in people getting married?

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Because one, you want your people to grow. And you want to build family units that are really strong. And I think maybe we're generally in the modern world, we're undermining the value of strong families. It's so beautiful. Like, I work with my brother. He's my business partner and all of. And my mother brought us up so well. We have such a solid unit. Like, me and my brothers are all buddies. And we all trust each other. You can't beat that. Like, you can't find a business partner if he's also competent. And your brother's competent, you always wanted a brother.

• 30:53Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  He's your blood.

• 30:54Lewis Howes?

  If he's not competent and someone else is.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Then you don't use him. Like, I do think to be a great entrepreneur, you should be ready to fire your mother.

• 31:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow. That's so... It's tough.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's what it takes. You can't be like, oh, but, you know, that's my buddy. That's my mother. That's my brother. No, you have to, as an entrepreneur.

• 31:11Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  You have to be very effective.

• 31:15Lewis Howes?

  You've got to get up with the best person in the position to help you grow.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I'm lucky with them. And coming back to your point, marriage and good units and good families build a society. And if the society is built on ethical, good value people, good mannered people, good units, you have a very strong society. In Europe today, maybe in America, a lot of places in the world is very disintegrated. Like, when you said NSU, I lived both. I lived the American life and I lived the UAE life. And I love some things in both. And I don't like some things in both. So I try to merge the most of everything, so.

• 31:52Lewis Howes?

  What are the things you loved about both and things you don't love about both?

• 31:56Speaker 01

  Okay, so in America, I really liked, just the people are really nice. I love that. And I loved my college years. And it was just really good formative years for me. What I didn't like is the family values, where I felt were very weak compared to where I come from. Like, if you just see your family once a year, or Christmas or Thanksgiving, for me, that was sad. Like, I'm like, you're missing out, guys. Like, this is so important. We go once a week. To our families or we talk to them, it's such a strong unit with your brothers, your siblings. So that I didn't like. And like I said in the beginning of the interview, like there's not much unity between people. Now, back home, I think we moved so fast.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  Maybe before it was more rigid. Now we're so open to the world, so now we're great. But a lot of topics like the money was taboo. Culture, openness to the world. Now Dubai is one of the most modern cities. But one of the beautiful things for me that I don't want to change is the good mannerism. I don't think Louis, you've been to the UAE, you've been to Dubai. It's very difficult to find an Emirati who wouldn't treat you with good hospitality, good mannerism, and just be nice to you. So that's really nice and how you're warm with people.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  If you just say, "Oh, guys, I'm hungry," they'll all invite you.

• 33:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  Whether he has money or not, he will invite you.

• 33:20Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's in our culture. And I remember, for example, in a neighboring country, my dad was in Oman. So he went to the mosque to pray, and he went to the small town in Oman. Very, very, like a farming town, maybe. And he just went for prayer, like, let's say, afternoon prayer. And at least three guys in the mosque, they're like, "Your lunch is with us." And he's like, "No, no, with me." And they're like, "Competing who would invite my dad." And I found that quite sweet, like you don't see it in a lot of places in the world. They truly mean, it's not like they're just being nice. They really want to take care of you. And he's like, "Listen, if you don't have a place to stay, our house, we have a guest room." And it's...

• 33:57Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 33:59Speaker 01

  You're brought up like that. You're brought up to be nice to other people and hospitable. And you represent your culture, your religion, and your country that way. And I love that. And I think the world generally needs a bit more of that.

• 34:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:16Lewis Howes?

  What are the values you've learned through...

• 34:20Lewis Howes?

  Prayer that have allowed you to create more prosperity.

• 34:26Lewis Howes?

  Do you pray frequently?

• 34:28Speaker 01

  I do. I used to do it much better.

• 34:33Lewis Howes?

  You're a bad prayer.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  No, I don't think there's such a thing as a bad prayer. I was brought up in a very conservative family. My dad is religious, my mom. And I think there's a lot of beauty to prayer, Louis. It's... Let's talk about it from an objective point of view. When you're a busy person. And in Islam, there are five prayers. And I think Christianity, I think you can pray.

• 35:01Lewis Howes?

  Five a day, right?

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, at different times. And I think in Christianity, it's flexible. I think on Sunday, you go to the church. And different religions have different practices. But the idea of prayer, that you have to pause. I think that's really important. Like today, we talk about meditation, we talk about leave your phones. So imagine you're in a religion where five times a day, you need to take a five-minute break. It doesn't take long. And you go and you pray and you take a spiritual connection. Or literally a pause. I think there's a beauty to that. It teaches you time management. It teaches you prioritization. It teaches you to take time for yourself. And it's also, our prayer is a bit of movement. So there's a bit of stretching, it's like yoga.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  So I think there are a lot of pros and discipline.

• 35:50Lewis Howes?

  One of the things I love about the five times a day prayer.

• 35:57Lewis Howes?

  It's probably a lot easier to let go of the past. If someone, if you got into an argument with someone or you're feeling frustrated or resentful about something. If you're praying about it five different times a day. You might be able to let that go quicker. You know, from one prayer to the next, hopefully you could let it go. I'm not saying everyone can, but that type of practice of forgiveness, of reflection of, okay, how do I want to show up in these next five hours or next four hours until the next moment? I didn't show up well. I reacted to my neighbor. I screamed. I honked in the car. Okay, how do I be better these next few hours? I think that five times a day gives you, hopefully, a moment to reflect and say,

• 36:41Lewis Howes?

  I gotta be better. Let me go apologize to the person I just did this to. That's not okay.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Even, you know, in our prayer, we have something called waduh, which is like you have to just wash your face and your hands. Just that interesting practice calms you. Imagine like literally you're really pissed off, you're stressed at work, and you're like, okay, guys, let me just go pray and come back. And you have to go wash, and you wash your face. Does that interesting practice calms you down, by the way?

• 37:07Lewis Howes?

  You cleanse yourself.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, so then you go and pray, and now you're forced to be good and nice and pray, because you need to disconnect from the stress you just had in the meeting, or an argument with your partner, or so suddenly, you're pausing now. And I think that's where I agree with you. When you pause, you regulate. I remember, by the way, your answer on Navy Talks. I asked you a question. I said, Louis, if you could teach every child in the world one thing only, what would you teach them? Your answer is one of the best answers I've ever had on the show, truly. He said emotional regulation. And I think a prayer or a disconnect allows you to regulate before you just fight and cause something that it's like when you're arguing, you go for a walk and then come back.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  So there is a lot of blessings to that.

• 37:55Lewis Howes?

  What season of life were you making the most money? What year did you bring in the most money from your businesses?

• 38:05Speaker 01

  I have four businesses at them. I used to have six. I have four now. Uh, but the funny thing is each one does better in different years.

• 38:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  This year, the hair salon is like.

• 38:15Lewis Howes?

  Hair salon?

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Woo. It's doing well.

• 38:17Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man, I gotta, I gotta come and get a haircut in Dubai.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  For sure. It's a good one. And I, I got inspired by New York loft style salons.

• 38:24Lewis Howes?

  Oh, they're nice.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:26Lewis Howes?

  They're nice.

• 38:28Lewis Howes?

  So a lot of your, a lot of your business ideas, you just visit America, you see what's working and you say, oh, we don't have this in Dubai. Let me bring this over and it's gonna crush.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Actually, two, two of the six were because of an American idea.

• 38:40Lewis Howes?

  That's smart.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:41Lewis Howes?

  If it's not there, but you know it does well somewhere else, then hopefully the.

• 38:45Speaker 01

  The first one was artificial grass football or soccer fields.

• 38:48Lewis Howes?

  You didn't have.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  So I played it in, in Boston, we played and it was air conditioned. I'm like, oh.

• 38:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  In Dubai with our weather, air conditioned, but turf with cleats.

• 38:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, with soft turf with like rubber.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  With the, exactly. And I brought it and we were the first in the UAE and it went from one or two pitches, I think, I think twenty six, twenty eight pitches.

• 39:07Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:08Lewis Howes?

  Indoor?

• 39:09Speaker 01

  Indoor.

• 39:09Lewis Howes?

  Indoor, so it's AC. I was gonna say, cause you can't have grass there.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:13Lewis Howes?

  Just be watering all day long.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  It's not a smart thing to do.

• 39:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, that's cool.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  That depends. Each year, some of the businesses do well, some not.

• 39:22Lewis Howes?

  What was the year that you made the most? You don't have to say how much, but what year?

• 39:27Speaker 01

  What year? Uh. I think. Maybe two years ago, three years ago, we did great in all.

• 39:36Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  So.

• 39:37Lewis Howes?

  How much were you praying leading into that year?

• 39:42Speaker 01

  I don't pray for money.

• 39:43Lewis Howes?

  I, I'm not talking about money. I'm just saying, how much were you praying?

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Uh, spiritually?

• 39:47Lewis Howes?

  Yes. Not like, give me more money, but how much you just acted as a prayer in your life.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Every day. I think it's important. Uh.

• 39:55Lewis Howes?

  Were you doing it, were you doing it more before that, that?

• 39:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:58Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  I've just been, I'm a consistent guy.

• 40:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  Like even every night I will journal. And in my journal, you'll see my gratitude, what I did today, that kind of like a diary, and what I'm happy that I did and what was quite cool. And part of my, this is like, it's not a secret, but I don't usually share this, but part of it at the end, I will write, like, they call it affirmations. I don't like the word affirmations. I think it's over trendy. But I think it's important to write things that you want to do or get. So I do that every day. And you know that was the funny part, Louis, if you, any of you watching do this, go back at the end of the year and you'll see, you'll be shocked at how much of it actually happened.

• 40:42Lewis Howes?

  Of what you write down, what you want to create.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  What actually happened. Like you said, you're gonna do all of this in the beginning of the year? You'll be shocked what happens at the end of the year. Yeah, like I do that and I'm like.

• 40:53Lewis Howes?

  Check, check, yeah, yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  It's pretty cool.

• 40:56Lewis Howes?

  You were, you got married young, 24?

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 41:00Lewis Howes?

  Married for nine years?

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:02Lewis Howes?

  Then divorced, then separated for the last 10 years?

• 41:05Speaker 01

  Nine, 10 years, yeah.

• 41:08Lewis Howes?

  What did you learn about yourself through getting married in your early twenties, getting divorced in your early thirties, and being not married for the last 10 years, but co-parenting?

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 41:19Lewis Howes?

  What have you learned about yourself from the whole process?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  I learned that I don't advise people to get married young. Because it's very formative years in the modern age. Maybe back in your dad's time, my dad's time as well, it was a bit different, expectations and criteria.

• 41:36Lewis Howes?

  Didn't work for my parents when they got young too, but.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know, maybe if it worked because maybe the expectations and criteria of marriage was different 50 years ago or 80 years ago. Today, I think because you want them to be a proper companion and really get you, like we were talking also about your relationship, you need that proper partnership. Because they, they kind of wear more than one hat, not just the mother of your kids or just your wife. It's your go-to, your advisor. So I learned that young marriage, in my opinion, young marriage has two advantages. I used to say one, it's two. One, that if you have kids, the difference in age between you and your kids is small. So you become buddies, which is pretty cool. Other than that, I never had anything. I didn't think it was positive. But the second one that I recently added is you're ignorant.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  And when you're ignorant, you don't overthink things. So for example, today, at this age, I know how expensive it is to have children. And now if I get married, I'll really be careful how many kids I would have, right? But when you're twenty four, you figure it out. Yeah. Like you have kids and you're not over, you just do the bungee jump, you know? You're not so scared. So I think there is some advantage to that, not recklessness, but that like, I don't know, but I'm gonna find out. We'll make it work, yeah, we'll make it work. So that's with young marriage, and I think that's what I learned. And I think it's such formative years. When you're in your twenties, you think you kinda know, but you, we were different people at the end of the marriage, like literally. It's like you become another human.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  So for me, especially the twenties, if your trajectory is ten degrees to the right and hers is five degrees to the left, you multiply that by five years, and that's just trajectory, I didn't even talk about speed. Imagine, at some point, one of you is looking at the other in the rearview mirror, at another point, you don't even see them anymore. So I do think we change a lot, and as I always imagine the dolphins, you need to swim like the dolphins. Like sometimes you're a bit front, they're a bit behind, but you're kind of still in harmony. And if there's no harmony, you just grow apart and you fall out of love and you just change. So that's, I think, on the young marriage. Co-parenting has been great.

• 43:53Speaker 01

  I was, at this, I would give advice. Oh, they say when you marry, you marry a family, especially in our world. I think you do. You marry the family. Yeah, you don't marry only the person. Marriage, you marry the family because your children, Lewis, will also be brought up in their household. Right. With their, with her mother, with her father, with her siblings, with her auntie, her cousin. Especially the children, gravity to the mother also. So it's not like only your wife is bringing him up or her up. So I knew the value also even more of my in-laws when I divorced. Because they're till today, they're great. And till today, I speak to my stepmom, I speak to my ex-wife. And they're lovely people. They speak highly of me, I speak highly of them.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  And I realize how important and one of the best decisions I've made was to marry into their family.

• 44:43Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Because when you're divorced, then it's like when you let somebody go in your business. A lot of them are not nice because the benefit is gone. The contract or the agreement is gone. So now they don't have anything with Louis. They can say he was a bad boss, I can't believe that, they can do everything, just blame you. But if they leave and say, man, Louis, one of the best periods of my life, great leader, I learned a lot from him. Now, I always say judge people on how they live. And I think when I left that family, they've been class.

• 45:18Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  So that's helped us a lot in co-parenting. And we have two beautiful boys, so we're always in touch about them.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  And what was your third question about now? You said you're divorced.

• 45:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you've been, you've been not married for ten years now. What have you learned about being divorced and then single essentially for the last decade?

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know if I'd get married again.

• 45:44Lewis Howes?

  Why not?

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Now I'm more open to it.

• 45:46Lewis Howes?

  If marriage is the fabric of your culture and your country.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  You're getting me now.

• 45:50Lewis Howes?

  Why would you not want to be in alignment with the values of your country and culture?

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Now I am more.

• 45:58Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  And to be honest, I wasn't so much. Maybe it is the trauma, maybe it is.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  Just trying, I was so focused on my businesses and it actually paid off, you know?

• 46:09Lewis Howes?

  You got results.

• 46:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think now I'm more open to the idea that, you know, in the last stretch of your thirty, forty years of your life, I'm forty-three now. Let's say another forty years, if we live healthily, hopefully, you start to think, okay. Companionship is actually nice. Intimacy is actually nice. And that's what I'm trying to teach also my son. So with my son, I told him, when we talk to our children, we say also Baba. Instead of only, it's funny. I don't know how in certain cultures, we also say to our, so they say Baba to you, but you also say Baba.

• 46:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  It's weird, but it's in our culture. So I was like Majid, his name, I'm like Baba, listen, I don't want you to be brought up like the pop culture that we were brought up in. We were brought up with music videos and so many women. And masculinity was defined by the quantity, not the intimacy. And I said, that's how we were brought up in school, in high school, in college. That's what we thought. You see movies, you see videos, you see music, and that's what you're taught as a man. You have a lot of women, you're a really masculine guy. And I told him, I don't want you to, I had to uninstall a lot of that programming from my brain, which still today is a process.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  But I told him, I don't want you, I would love for you to have lived a life where you come and tell me, Dad, I fell in love three times in my life. The fourth one was my, my love of my life and I married her. I'll be so proud of you, rather than you telling me I went out with forty girls.

• 47:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Like, okay, what does that even mean? Like, do you want me to clap that you, because if you're charming, you'll probably go out, yeah. But that's not the goal. The goal is, can you be intimate? Can you be vulnerable? Can you build an honest, clean, not cheating or fighting or toxic? Can you build something healthy? I'll be so proud of you if you do that. And I want to instill that in my sons.

• 48:05Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:07Lewis Howes?

  Did you feel shame or some type of trauma when you went through the divorce? Based on cultural norms, was there anything there? Or did you feel at peace about it?

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Divorce is not as scary as when my mother got divorced. When my mother got divorced, it was difficult for her, really tough. She went through a hard time in the society. Now it's way more open, but now I feel also some people are just too easy with it. Like they don't even wait. I don't like when people give up too easy. Like in six months, you're divorced, what does that even mean? What did you even do?

• 48:41Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  So I didn't face backlash from my society. But I'm sure there is some trauma somewhere. You know, when you build, when you invest nine years of your life with someone and you build a family with them, you can't be a robot and just think everything is fine. It's not. And I think somewhere in your subconscious, you're like, okay, anti-vulnerability, anti-commitment.

• 49:07Lewis Howes?

  Anti-intimacy, yeah, all that stuff.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  And because I'm also a control guy. And control is you stay on the surface.

• 49:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you don't go deep.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  You don't go deep, and that's not great. You have to, and vulnerability is bravery, vulnerability is courage. And to say, I'm gonna try, if it works, it works. That's scary.

• 49:26Lewis Howes?

  Have you started to tap into your vulnerability and open your heart more since then?

• 49:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, in the latest years, in the last two years, maybe.

• 49:35Lewis Howes?

  First eight years, no.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 49:37Lewis Howes?

  All surface, all control, make sure everything's safe for you?

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 49:42Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 49:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:42Lewis Howes?

  How did that feel versus opening your heart more in the last couple of years?

• 49:46Speaker 01

  The thing is, look, people talk about it like it's black or white. We're very binary as humans. And not everything, there is a beauty to everything. If you don't have anything serious, and you're a person who's working a lot, and you're working hard and you're enjoying your work, and when you meet someone, you meet someone, but maybe it's surface. There is a beauty to it. Let's also not be foolish and say that, oh no, that's so sad and depressing. It doesn't have to be. And also, if you decide to be intimate, there's another richness to it. The surface level relationship, let's not call it ugly or disgusting. Because it's just hating on something that maybe somebody is not too excited about.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Maybe we'll call it a very light sweetness to it. Light, but it's not rich, it's not enriching, it's not full of good ingredients. And maybe it doesn't feed the soul as much as, maybe it will quench your thirst, but not proper. Now intimacy, if done properly, and I think you're, one day we need to sit and learn about your intimacy. I think once you hit that correctly, that's a different flavor. That is like, you're like, you can't go back to being casual or surface.

• 51:01Lewis Howes?

  So hard, yeah.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Because you just experienced companionship, you experienced pure love. That's beautiful, but not common.

• 51:09Lewis Howes?

  What do you think it'll take for you to fully be intimate and allow for yourself to open your heart and be deeply in love?

• 51:19Speaker 01

  I think inner work, I don't think it has much to do, I do believe there are certain, like you met Martha, right? She was a key to Louis, she was one of the keys to your heart. I do believe we have keys around the world. I don't believe one soulmate, I believe soulmates. I'm a probability guy. But is the probability that you're going to meet more than one in a lifetime? I don't know, even if it's a hundred thousand around the world. It's you and your fortune, right? So when you meet one of those keys, I think you need to invest in that one at least. Now, there is a key to Louis's heart. But also Louis, if he doesn't work on himself, he's gonna throw that key out. He will not know how to deal with it. So to answer you, I think a lot of it has to be inner work. If your inner work are your inner awareness.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  And I don't want to sound it like too Tik Tok-y. No, when I mean inner work, I mean proper, like you talk to a proper therapist, you learn about yourself, you see your patterns, you see how you deal with people, who are you actually attracted to? I was talking to my therapist about something very interesting, and it's, I think, a Carl Jung. A teaching. And the idea is each of us has an inner image of the gender that you're attracted to. So I have an inner image of the girls that I'm attracted to, that I'm not consciously aware of. So if you ask me as Lewis and Alice, which kind of woman is the ideal woman? I'll give you the the shapilda, like one, two, three. Job description, I'm so clear, I know what they want. And she's this, she's sophisticated, well-traveled. I'll say everything. All the perfect things that probably anybody would say.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  But then you come and x-ray my track record. Then you're like, Alice, you usually are attracted to somebody, not exactly like what you just said. Maybe it's like 30%, but 70% is not what you've been preaching. And then Alice, as me, I have to actually see, I'm like, oh, my inner image of a woman, what is it? Is it aligned with what I'm telling Lewis verbally unconsciously? And as long as they're very different, you're going to be screwed. We talked about how also you were attracted to certain women that are not good for you.

• 53:23Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  So that's a pattern. That's your inner image of the girl that Lewis likes. And it's like a Velcro. So girl after girl is passing you, but one of them sticks. And you wonder why that one? Why of that age and that personality and that look and that person? You start to see what's going on. And then you have to understand why. So that's the inner work I'm talking about. When you understand your inner image of the person or the woman that you like should be actually aligned with what you'd actually say on paper.

• 53:57Lewis Howes?

  What's the inner work you've been looking at that you've been most afraid to address?

• 54:03Speaker 01

  I'm not afraid. That's the cool thing. I actually am not. I'm a trier, I'm a curious human. So I, I, this, the funny thing is in my show, AB Talks, we talk a lot about mental health and all of that. And I never had a therapist, although I talk about a lot of, a lot about it. But I, because we were brought up, like we talked earlier, in a very reactive way. Like when you're in depression, you should get a doctor. When you're, no, you should see therapy as preventative maintenance, not reactive maintenance. Like going to the gym, even if you're in great shape, you have to maintain it.

• 54:40Lewis Howes?

  Keep going.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  So I'm like, okay, I did the first therapist, didn't work. Second, nah, it felt like homework. Third one. Third one clicked that I look for, he's in New York and we just met recently in person finally. And I'll bring out my notes, Lewis, and I'll be like, oh, really? Okay. And it's so fun to talk to him because he has a great mind and I told him, listen, I don't want to vent. I'll vent for a bit, but I need a brain. I don't want to slide down on a sofa and I talk already. I'm not a guy who is like introverted with my feelings. So I've done that. I need a brain that challenges me, asks me the right questions. So with him, I haven't been afraid. I'm just curious and I can talk about, man, I don't know how to build culture at work.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  And we'll talk about that that week. The next week I can say, you know, I really miss love.

• 55:29Lewis Howes?

  You miss love?

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we'll talk about that. So it's beautiful to, you don't have to be in a very bad place just to talk to somebody. And you start, and if some, an outsider looks at Lewis or Anson says, let's look at your pattern. What's going on? You're like, man, I'm so frustrated every day. Why are you frustrated, Lewis? Business, blah, blah, blah. Okay, well, let's dig in. And you start to see, and he compared my approach to business and how I approach relationships. I never combined them.

• 56:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow. He compared it?

• 56:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:02Lewis Howes?

  They're very similar.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  He showed me the symmetry.

• 56:04Lewis Howes?

  What's the similarities of how you approach business and relationships?

• 56:09Speaker 01

  One of it is the, the control. You know, I'm not a controlling person, like where are you, who are you with? I don't care about all of that. I love giving freedom because I also appreciate it for myself. So I can't preach what I don't practice. But surface level relationships, control. You know, treating it like it's, it's another meeting in your day. Hmm, it's not a meeting, relax.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  Relax. You don't have to go see them if you're feeling bad. You don't need to be a pleaser sometimes and you're not a pleaser at work. So don't be a pleaser. And you start to see, and you build your childhood also. Because a lot of how we are is our relationship with our mother, our relationship with our father. They say that you replicate the love language of the same gender parent. And you want the same love language as the opposite gender parent.

• 57:05Speaker 01

  And when you think of it, like, okay, Louis' mom, even if, let's say, your mom wasn't expressive, but you're fondly attracted to non-expressive woman. Because it's familiar, it's your comfort zone. But that doesn't mean that's what you need.

• 57:18Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  So if you start to backtrack your childhood, your parenthood, your good relationships, you start to see what's going, what are you attracted to and what are you doing wrong?

• 57:30Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest lesson that you've learned about yourself in therapy?

• 57:34Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  Dissecting why I am the way I am.

• 57:50Lewis Howes?

  That's been your biggest lesson? Learning how to dissect why you are the way you are?

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Because if I ask you, Louis, why are you such a go-getter? Why are you so competitive? Why are you such a... You're like, I've been this way, that's me. But why?

• 58:05Speaker 01

  What happened at home? What happened in school? You know? Were you bullied? Were you not? Were you the popular guy? Were you a person that identifies your value just with how good-looking or how strong you are in a game, in a football game? Is that your worth? Where's your brain? What are you attracted to? Why do you need people to like your images and pictures and comment too much? You start to understand, for example, I am, we're eight boys and one girl, but my parents divorced and married and had more kids. But from my mom and dad, we're three. And we're so different, Louis. And I told David, the doctor, I told him, I don't come from a, like, a really poor background.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  I come from a comfortable background, modest and comfortable.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  But I behave... Like somebody who came from nothing. Like I know I have the drive or some of somebody that is so driven, so passionate. But my brothers don't. And I don't mean it as a making fun. No, it's maybe it's better. I don't know.

• 59:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  But why am I wired this way? What happened? So that's that's a good question.

• 59:14Lewis Howes?

  What have you learned?

• 59:15Speaker 01

  We just started this like two weeks ago. But it's it's interesting. I'm the eldest. So that we started there. I'm the eldest and. And he said something along the lines, I don't want to quote because I don't want to say it wrong. But something along the lines that when you're the eldest, I was alone in Syracuse with my mother and. Maybe I started to maybe we still didn't reach there, but maybe I started to connect. Achievements and good deeds and good actions with pleasing my parents.

• 59:44Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  Like, oh, they're happy now. I need to do more. Oh, they feel I'm a good guy, a good boy. And maybe this is just one theory. We still started, so but he's pretty cool.

• 59:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  And I think being the eldest has a lot to do with it.

• 1:00:00Lewis Howes?

  What do you think is your biggest block? From allowing you to love deeper? And feel freer? That you haven't yet figured out through therapy?

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Vulnerability. I think it's hard.

• 1:00:17Lewis Howes?

  It's hard for you. But you have a show that's all about vulnerability.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  It's easy to listen to vulnerability, not be it.

• 1:00:22Lewis Howes?

  It's easy to ask the questions and hear someone else, but not be it. Interesting.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  Of course. It's easy for you to tell me to go to the gym 10 times, but you go 10 times.

• 1:00:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  It's much easier. And I do respect vulnerable people. I do appreciate and admire. And that's what we need to push ourselves, especially as men, Lewis. When you really do, I've I've seen a lot of research and studies on men versus women. For example. There is this, I shot an episode with a psychotherapist about this. Did you know? That? Parents tend to be much more. Loving to daughters than sons.

• 1:01:01Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  So when the daughter falls and scratches her and you're like, oh, darling, are you okay? Your son goes, dad, it's like, it's okay, it's okay. Get up. You're fine. Look at that.

• 1:01:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  They could be six each, six years, six years.

• 1:01:14Lewis Howes?

  You're training and conditioning.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  You're telling him, stop crying. Keep your emotions down, stop yapping. And the daughter like, come here, let me, let me clean it. And I'm not saying all families are like that, but it's, it's a quite typical approach. Even if I was at that, probably I would have done that by default. But then you think about it, like if he wants to cry, let him cry. If he feels hurt, treat it like you would treat your daughter. And I understand the world can be tough and you need the, the men to be men and strong and responsible. But they don't have to be suppressing emotions and getting angry or becoming toxic eventually. So.

• 1:01:51Lewis Howes?

  Do you still suppress your emotions?

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Less because being a father makes, makes your heart softer. Like he sit, he sit me on a plane with a nice movie, I probably tear up for sure. Especially on airplanes.

• 1:02:04Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:02:04Speaker 01

  Because of the altitude. There's a whole research on it, by the way.

• 1:02:07Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  Because I always used to tear up on planes and I'm like, there's something with planes. And I actually researched the high altitude.

• 1:02:14Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  And the oxygen, yeah.

• 1:02:16Lewis Howes?

  There's.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  You could watch an ad and be like.

• 1:02:19Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 1:02:21Lewis Howes?

  I watched a, I watched a movie, I don't know, a few months ago and I cried like three times and I'm like, people next to me must be thinking I'm crazy, you know? Man, that's interesting.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  And I will look forward to you being a dad.

• 1:02:32Lewis Howes?

  I know, I'm excited.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you'd be a great dad.

• 1:02:35Lewis Howes?

  I feel like I would have been terrified in my twenties. I think I would have, I just don't think I would have done a good job. I mean, maybe I would have stepped to the occasion, but I didn't have any, any money. I didn't have a job. I think I would have just been terrified. I wouldn't have been a good husband. Maybe I'd have been a good dad, but I wouldn't have been a good husband, I think. Because I'd be out trying to make money and then coming home and thinking about the kids.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Lewis Howes?

  I wouldn't have known where to put priorities into.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Lewis Howes?

  Priority needs to be with your partner, I believe, before the kids.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 1:03:07Lewis Howes?

  And.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Because they're gonna grow up and leave.

• 1:03:09Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Which they call an empty nest.

• 1:03:11Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  And you're, you're with the partner who you probably neglected for the last few years.

• 1:03:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. And they're gonna resent you and be frustrated the whole time.

• 1:03:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:19Lewis Howes?

  You know, so I think that's the key and finding a. I don't know what it is, like, do you know who Cesar Millan is, the dog whisperer?

• 1:03:27Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:03:28Lewis Howes?

  He's a, he's a, he's at a big TV show in America where he trains, he's a dog trainer.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:33Lewis Howes?

  But he, he, his whole thing is he doesn't train dogs, he trains humans. So it's all about kind of rehabilitating humans on how to be a better leader in their life so they can lead their dog.

• 1:03:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:46Lewis Howes?

  Cause most dogs lead the, the human. They're, they're leading the way, they're pulling.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Man, the guy I got to, to train my dogs trained me.

• 1:03:55Lewis Howes?

  That's what he does. Yeah. You gotta train you on how to be more confident, more assertive, all these things, right? Better relationship with yourself so that the dogs will look up to you and say, oh, he's a leader, not me.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04:06Lewis Howes?

  Anyways, he said, you know, in America, we have it all wrong. Um, in American families, when he's training mothers and fathers, right? And he, he said, he usually goes, the priority is, you know, mom first, then dog, then kids, then husband. And the husband is like, you know, what, what's in this for me? If I'm the last person here and I'm always, and I'm out hunting and provider, I'm working my butt for this family and she put the dog ahead of me, you know, it's like. So, and I'm sure the, the woman probably feels last in some cases too, but he's, he was explaining how you've got to have the parents, you know, first priority.

• 1:04:52Lewis Howes?

  Then the children, then the dog.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  If we're competitive as people, uh, and as men, the competition, the true competition should be, how can I win over my woman consistently on a long run? Rather than jump to 20 women.

• 1:05:11Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 1:05:13Speaker 01

  If we really, again, we're probably competitive, me and you, we really think about it.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  If you're charismatic, you're well spoken, you're good looking, you're healthy, you're well off.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Anybody you'd be pretty good at. Probably any first date. Probably the 10th date because you're an impressive human. You worked on yourself. But is that really an achievement? Or is it that when you find somebody really good and you keep her loving you? And not going routine and boring or neglecting or no, keeping her really loving you. Even after 60s, he's like, man, this guy is just unbelievable. That's way harder, by the way. Way harder than winning over 10 random people and at the surface level.

• 1:05:58Lewis Howes?

  What do you think it's gonna take from you to be able to create that? In a relationship in your life in the future?

• 1:06:05Lewis Howes?

  Because you've lived a life now of 10 years of singleness of, you know, is in a way selfishness of not having to. Obviously you show up for your ex-wife in certain ways, but it's not as invested in a partnership that you would have right now.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:06:19Lewis Howes?

  You're not, you show up for your kids, all these things, but you're not in an intimate relationship where you're committed. What do you think it's gonna take from you to be able to fully commit in a relationship and go all in? And keep winning her over every day for years?

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  Man, I like your questions, Lewis.

• 1:06:38Lewis Howes?

  Because it's probably been a pretty good life over the last decade. Freedom, I don't have to, at surface level, I can have fun with people. I don't have to fully commit. I don't have to open my heart. I don't get hurt. I'm in control. I end it when I'm done.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Like I said, there's a beauty to all scenarios.

• 1:06:58Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  But there is also delusion. So.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  When you don't know otherwise, you think that's it. You know, there are a lot of nice quotes on this, but none of them are popping in my mind, but it's. It's like when you haven't been on the other side of the hill, you think that's the hill. That's the world, right?

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  What is that saying about the fish? Like the fish thinks this is like something that I would, I need to search this.

• 1:07:29Lewis Howes?

  A pond, it's the only, it's the only amount of water in the world.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, something like that, you know, that you think this is it. So when you have been used to. Diet relationships or lightweight. You think this life and it's nice and whatever, and because you don't know else, you have no contrast or no benchmark. But when you try intimacy, which I have tried once in 10 years. You realize the beauty of intimacy. And once you know you can't undo. It's like you have. Stop, man. It's literally in anything in life. You could go on a certain airlines and you think that's the airlines all of your life. You go, this is the standard. You don't even feel bad. The moment you try a really good airlines, good service, everything like. Oh, now you can go back.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, stop. So the thing with intimacy is similar. The moment you have a serious relationship or a healthy one or pure love. It's very difficult to go back to superficial love or superficial liking. So to answer you what would, and it's a bit different for me, Lewis, because. Thank God I was blessed to have a good ex-wife. I was blessed to have children. So I don't have the peer pressure now. I have to just try this marriage thing. I don't have that peer pressure, which a lot of societies and cultures give you. Secondly, a lot of them get married for kids. I don't, if I have kids, great. If I don't, it's okay. So suddenly in my subconscious, I don't have these drivers that a lot of people don't admit.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Like today, even Gen Z, if I'm not mistaken, they're getting married earlier than some. Yeah, because I do think it's the social media like, oh, he proposed and I posted it on TikTok and it flew. And they love that fantasizing idea of it. So my point is that I don't have those peer pressures. So now the criteria is only proper compatibility and companionship. And to answer you, you need the key that we talked about, a really good key. That when Lewis or Anas is vulnerable and he's giving his love language, there is a ROI. You feel love too. So your love tank is also filling. Yes. If you always just give and you feel their love language is just not translating or vice versa.

• 1:09:44Speaker 01

  It's not a good relationship. And I think that's when you're like, let's say I give you a bit of me. And I get a nice hug back or like a really good love language that I love. I'm like, oh, that's cool. Okay, one more. Now I'm becoming more vulnerable because there's a return. You know what I mean? And then you're like, okay, now actually it's safe. Yes. And I think this is where you'd be willing with the right partner and the right intention internally. You can, especially if the love languages are compatible. I think that's so important. Yeah.

• 1:10:19Lewis Howes?

  It's this one, man.

• 1:10:21Lewis Howes?

  I've got two final questions for you.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:10:23Lewis Howes?

  But I want to make sure people go follow you over on Instagram. You've got millions of followers on Instagram. You've got a massive YouTube show as well.

• 1:10:32Lewis Howes?

  Where should we connect with you the most? Where are you the most? Is it YouTube, is it Instagram? Is it?

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  Instagram I use personally. I like that platform. YouTube is my main hub for the interviews.

• 1:10:43Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool. It's the same name, Anas?

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  Anas Bukhash.

• 1:10:46Lewis Howes?

  On YouTube and Instagram. We'll have that linked up. We'll check that out there. How else can we be of service to you today?

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  How can you be of service to me?

• 1:10:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  I just appreciate you, Louis, as a person. You're a good person.

• 1:11:03Lewis Howes?

  Thanks, brother.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  From what I feel as well. I can't x-ray you, but I do feel that. And I'm happy for you. And I'm happy when I see your partnership. And I see how you're such a student, Louis. I love that. You're curious. You want to learn. You want to be a better human. And I like people like that.

• 1:11:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:11:27Lewis Howes?

  Very similar.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, we are.

• 1:11:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  So I don't want anything. I think your company is nice.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  And you're a good person. So it's nice to bugger.

• 1:11:37Lewis Howes?

  Good to see you, brother. I got two final questions for you. Before I ask them, I want to acknowledge you also for your evolution. I think being a successful business entrepreneur, leader, you know, you have a massive following. I think you talking about, hey, I've lived a pretty good life, but I've also been holding back in my heart in certain ways that could expand me emotionally and help me evolve as a human. I think it's powerful for people to hear because living in Dubai, you could have anything you want at any time, you know? Whether girls or whether it be food or what, you know, opportunities, like you can have it all, it seems like, which can be fun and tempting, but also is it always fulfilling?

• 1:12:20Lewis Howes?

  Is it going to allow you to fully dive in and expand your inner world in that lifestyle? So you talking about this and you diving in with a therapist finally? I think it's a good thing. And I acknowledge you for taking that on. And I'm excited to see what you create with your heart moving forward. But you deserve to feel the expansive love of feeling fully emotionally safe within a relationship.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  And I think you've reached that.

• 1:12:47Lewis Howes?

  I feel like I have.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  In a person in life, and I love that.

• 1:12:49Lewis Howes?

  I feel like I want to get married if I didn't feel that way at this age. I would just stay single forever unless I felt emotional safety.

• 1:12:57Speaker 01

  I learned something recently. A friend taught me this. She said, do you want to know if you're in a good relationship? It's when your nervous system is at ease around that person.

• 1:13:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's how I feel.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  And that's why I'm telling you.

• 1:13:12Lewis Howes?

  I've never had that before.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  I've never had this much peace of mind. And I was talking to another friend recently about her relationship and her love life. And she was confused and all of that. And I told her, you want one way to measure if you're in a good, serious relationship. Anybody can do this. Watch how many times per week do you lose your peace of mind? If it's once a week, it's too expensive.

• 1:13:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 01

  If it's once, maybe a month, once every two months, that's normal. We're human, we argue, we... But if you're losing your peace of mind often, there's something off.

• 1:13:46Lewis Howes?

  Something's off.

• 1:13:47Speaker 01

  So I really believe that you... And the video that always tends to go viral is when I talk about... And probably you can relate now because it seems like you're in a good relationship. I say, when a woman or a man is truly in love and feeling safe, they turn into a young child, a kid. The girl, no matter how strong she is on the outside and how independent and a leader she is outside her home, she wants to come home and be a princess. The boy, being tough and this decision maker and whatnot, he wants to come home and just be a little naughty, mischievous little boy. And he can be silly with his girl.

• 1:14:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  And you really, we all have to monitor which relationship made us feel that way. Because that's true vulnerability. That you're just, you're you. You can be silly, sarcastic, you're not judged, you're not shamed, you're not trying to be the specific image that they want you to be.

• 1:14:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  So bad relationships have a lot of shaming. You know, good relationships have celebration.

• 1:14:58Lewis Howes?

  Heart to sat.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:00Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful, man. I want that for you. Final question, my man. What's your definition of greatness?

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Oh, that's your question every episode? Yeah, yeah. Yours is how are you really, right? How are you really doing, yeah.

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  My definition of greatness. I think success is a very subjective thing. People think it's one. It's, oh, money, cars, life, family, kids. People think success has one definition. It's very wrong. Because some person just loves to bake cakes in his small cafe. And he has his two kids and he finishes. And that's his, that's his best success. That's his greatness. And we have no right to say, oh, that's not great. He should have a tower. But he doesn't want a tower. He's okay with his small coffee shop. He's happy. So then we have to decide for each person that success is subjective. What is yours? What is yours is very different.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  For me, my only, I don't know if it's a fear. I don't think it's a fear. It's a concern. Is I, I'm not afraid of death. But I always hope not to die before achieving a good level of my potential. At least eighty percent, then I can go. But I, my greatness is that if I feel, of course, other than being blessed with my great family and my health and my country and the life I've built for myself. Other than that, I do want to elevate mindsets. That's my goal is to make, to provoke thought, to make people consider, to make people think twice. Maybe they'll still disagree with me, but I made you think. I made you consider something else.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  And if I can do that and you can do that and people can do that, we're elevating the next hundred years. Even after this little interview that we're doing and yours on mine. And point one percent, you did something. You changed somebody's way of thinking. And imagine we multiply those kinds of conversations across years. We are elevating the next generation of our kids to have different ways of looking at life and hopefully a much better advantage than we did.

• 1:17:11Lewis Howes?

  So that's greatness. That's my man. Thank you. Appreciate it, brother. You too. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward.

• 1:17:55Lewis Howes?

  And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.