Find Your Purpose & Create Your Dream Life (Celebrating Women’s History Month) [MASTERCLASS] EP 1412

https://lewishowes.com/mindset - Order a copy of my new book The Greatness Mindset today! Today’s Masterclass episode is all about how you can find your life’s purpose and create a future of your dreams. Four experts share their tips and strategies on how to use gratitude to overcome challenges and step into a life of abundance and greatness. In this inspiring episode, Muniba Mazari, a renowned activist, artist, and motivational speaker, shares valuable advice on achieving success. From overcoming adversity to staying true to oneself, Muniba offers insightful tips to help viewers reach their full potential. Priyanka Chopra, the multi-talented Author, Actor, and Producer, as she shares her valuable life advice in this insightful interview. Gain inspiration from her personal experiences and learn how to navigate life's challenges with grace and determination. Lindsey Vonn, the legendary Olympic skier and founder of the Lindsey Vonn Foundation, shares her valuable insights on how to achieve success. From overcoming challenges to setting goals and staying focused, Lindsey's advice is sure to motivate and empower viewers to pursue their dreams. Lisa Nichols, renowned motivational speaker and author, shares her top success advice for achieving your dreams and living your best life. Join us as Lisa imparts valuable insights and strategies for overcoming obstacles, finding your purpose, and creating the life you truly desire. For more, go to lewishowes.com/1412Previous Episodes:Muniba Mazari - https://link.chtbl.com/1282-podLisa Nichols - https://lewishowes.com/278Lindsey Vonn - https://link.chtbl.com/1132-podPriyanka Chopra - https://link.chtbl.com/1067-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so if you haven't heard the news yet, I've got a new book out called The Greatness Mindset. Unlock the Power of Your Mind and Live Your Best Life Today. It's coming out soon and I'm pumped to invite you to be a part of the launch team for this book. This is a rare opportunity to get your questions answered and network with other champions of greatness in this exclusive community of conscious achievers. If you're ready to receive early access to the first few chapters of the book, behind the scenes updates from me, plus VIP access to bonuses and giveaways, then this is for you for instructions about how to join this greatness launch team. Make sure to go to lewishouse.com/launchteam right now.

• 0:43Lewis Howes?

  Again, make sure to check it out at lewishouse.com/launchteam right now.

• 0:48Muniba Mazari?

  The breath that you just took right now, that's a blessing. But you know what? You're too busy complaining. I'm talking about self-acceptance, you know, accept yourself the way you are. It's never easy. I think the biggest obstacle is...

• 1:01Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 1:25Lewis Howes?

  Over the last decade, I've been able to interview some of the most brilliant women across all industries who've inspired me on my journey to greatness. And I know I have done the same for you. And I wanted to bring together multiple stories as we celebrate Women's History Month that have really resonated with me over the years.

• 1:47Lewis Howes?

  Can you talk about the importance and what you did to just overcome fear after fear? And what that did for you, that exercise of overcoming them?

• 1:57Muniba Mazari?

  So I'll tell you something, I'm talking about self-acceptance, you know, accept yourself the way you are. It's never easy. I think the biggest obstacle is a long list of fears. All sorts of fears, known, unknown. My biggest fears were three, they were my major fears. So I I wrote them down and I said, you know what, I'm going to overcome these fears one at a time. My biggest fear was facing people, you know. And when I used to, now when I say this to the world that, you know, I was scared of facing people, people think I'm being funny. But no, and it's not the fact that I did not want to see people or I just hated people, that's why I didn't want to see them. You know, I was tired of, you know, those remarks like, oh, poor girl, you know.

• 2:41Muniba Mazari?

  I was tired of being treated as a patient. Oh, how do you feel? I feel the same. Ask me more about what I'm doing in life right now, you know. And this this mercy in their eyes that, oh, poor girl, that that really, you know, that was killing me from within. And I said, you know what, I'm going to overcome this fear of facing people. And, you know, maybe one day they will understand that I'm okay. I'm okay the way I am now. I've accepted myself, so please, you need to accept me too, you know. And as they say that when you think about doing something, the universe conspires. While I was thinking constantly about how can I overcome this fear of facing people, how can I do this?

• 3:24Muniba Mazari?

  I was going to the malls, I was doing groceries, but that wasn't enough. Out of the blue, I got a call from TEDx. And, you know, so the guy said that, you know, we really want you to come and share your story. And without missing a second, I said, I'm doing it. So that's how I gave my very first TED Talk. And in fact, while I was giving the talk, you know, I was sharing my life story with the world. You know, there I was, sitting in front of so many people and sharing my story, thinking, what am I doing? You know, I'm literally becoming an open book and everybody can come and say things to me because, you know, here I am.

• 4:08Lewis Howes?

  They can judge you, they, yeah, they can do whatever, yeah.

• 4:11Muniba Mazari?

  Of course, right? But then I realized that maybe, you know, someone somewhere in the audience needs my words.

• 4:20Muniba Mazari?

  So I'll do it for that one person.

• 4:22Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 4:22Muniba Mazari?

  And then later that girl came from the audience. And in that moment, I realized that, you know, probably being speaker is my true calling in life, maybe. You know, then the other biggest fear was the fear of not becoming a mother. And I was constantly thinking about it, that, you know, how, how can I work? And then I sat down with my mother one day and I said, Mama, I want to adopt a child. And, you know, but I was scared, you know, being a wheelchair user, I said, you know, maybe, you know, it will be hard. And my mother said, I'm with you.

• 4:54Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 4:54Muniba Mazari?

  We'll raise him together.

• 4:56Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 4:56Muniba Mazari?

  You know, and so I said, can we do this? She said, yes, let's do it. And that's how, so I applied for adoption. I waited for two years, you know. And then one fine day out of nowhere, I got a call, the lady said, there is a baby boy. And would you like to adopt? I said, is that even a question? Of course, yes. So that's how Nai came in my life. And then the other biggest fear was abandonment, as we were talking earlier. What happens when people leave? Trust me, nothing happens.

• 5:29Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 5:30Muniba Mazari?

  We are so scared of abandonment that, again, when you let go of all the extra people, you realize that you never, you never needed them. You just never needed them, you know, so have a good relationship with yourself. And you will never be scared of abandonment. So when I overcame this fear of facing people, I became a speaker or whatever things I'm doing. When I overcame the fear of motherhood, I became a mother. You know, so that's what it is.

• 6:00Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think so many people are afraid to be alone? This is kind of like this fear, I don't want to die alone. I can't, you know, go day by day without having friends around me all the time. I can't be alone. I can't go to dinner by myself. I can't go to the movie by myself. I can't walk down the street alone. Why is there this insecurity or fear that so many people have?

• 6:22Muniba Mazari?

  Because we forget that we came in the world with nothing and we leave with nothing. We came alone, crying.

• 6:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 6:30Muniba Mazari?

  And when we were born, we were in pain, right? And we were crying, that was the sign of life. Oh, the baby is alive because the baby is crying and the baby is in pain. And when we leave, we are alone. So many people have left. Life does not stop, right? We are designed, because we are social animals, right? We, human beings, are social animals, we need to socialize.

• 6:54Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 6:54Muniba Mazari?

  The problem comes, problem is not with the relationship. The problem is the expectations that we have with our partners. That my spouse has to make me feel good.

• 7:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:08Muniba Mazari?

  It doesn't work that way.

• 7:10Lewis Howes?

  It doesn't.

• 7:10Muniba Mazari?

  Your spouse is a human being too, fighting battles you are doing too. Again, if you two are not complementing each other, your life will become miserable.

• 7:21Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 7:22Muniba Mazari?

  And also, there's one thing that I've noticed. People are competing. I mean, two people in a relationship are not complementing each other, they are competing with one another. This is so silly.

• 7:34Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 7:35Muniba Mazari?

  I mean, you are supposed to complement each other, you know, but you guys are competing with each other. And no wonder why so many people are so broken, so broken. Either they switch to the new relationships like that because, oh my god, what will happen if we are all by ourselves? Trust me, nothing happens. You know, this, this global pandemic has taught us a lesson. You know, and that is, by the end of the day, we are all on our own.

• 8:09Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:10Muniba Mazari?

  So if you want to heal from COVID, you have to live with yourself. And you know why people were so scared of being on their own?

• 8:20Muniba Mazari?

  Because they have never spent time with themselves.

• 8:22Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 8:23Muniba Mazari?

  For so long, right? And they were just so scared. But let me tell you something. Being a wheelchair user, I have spent so much time on my own.

• 8:34Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:35Muniba Mazari?

  And it did not kill me.

• 8:38Muniba Mazari?

  So when you sit with yourself, you realize, oh, I'm actually a good company for myself.

• 8:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 8:44Muniba Mazari?

  And that's it. So you go, you meet people, you socialize because it's fun, but not because you need to do it, but because you want to do it.

• 8:54Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:56Muniba Mazari?

  That's what it is.

• 8:57Lewis Howes?

  And I think there's this, um,

• 9:02Lewis Howes?

  you know, it's this thing where we shouldn't be abandoning ourselves. We don't need to be at an event or be in relationships with people if they are constantly toxic, like you said, or if they're making us wrong or bad, if they're not accepting us. That's really a form of self-hatred if we keep putting ourselves in those situations and we abandon the love for ourselves, the boundaries we need to create to have the environment of peace and love and joy. So I think it's important for us to remember that, like, we don't have to keep showing up in situations where people are trying to hurt us. We can protect ourselves and not abandon ourselves.

• 9:38Muniba Mazari?

  Yes, like Maya Angelou says, when people show you their true colors, believe them.

• 9:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 9:45Muniba Mazari?

  Do not justify their toxicity. Oh, you know, my spouse is being overprotective. You know what? Because, because she's so much in love. No.

• 9:54Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 9:54Muniba Mazari?

  That's toxic. That's bad. And it's only going to get worse, you know? So be, be aware. When people show you their true colors, believe them.

• 10:04Lewis Howes?

  Yes. Why do you think, um, for people who might feel stuck in their life, uh, might feel some type of brokenness, whether it be emotional, emotionally or physically, and they say, I don't know how to go after my dreams. What advice would you give to people who are struggling to figure out what their dreams are and also how to go after them?

• 10:29Muniba Mazari?

  First and foremost, we have this constant pressure of overachievement. Thanks to social media. Why? Because everybody's posting about something great. You know, I achieved this, I achieved that, oh my god, hashtag global trotter. Wait, I cannot afford to buy a ticket, I cannot go anywhere, what am I supposed to do? Right? When you see people posting, rather bragging about what they have done in their lives every day, projects after projects, you question yourself. Am I doing enough? Am I good enough? Is my life meaningful enough?

• 11:08Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 11:08Muniba Mazari?

  Right? But let me tell you something, social media is all about the good stuff. Nobody is going to post about their daily struggles. When I try to sit every day in the morning, because my back muscles don't work, I fall back.

• 11:24Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 11:24Muniba Mazari?

  Then I try to get up, I fall back. And it happens, it continues. So basically, I start my day as a failure because I just cannot sit on my own without the help of my mother.

• 11:37Muniba Mazari?

  But my social media doesn't show that. It's all about inspirational things, right? So please, you don't have to be an overachiever every day.

• 11:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:47Muniba Mazari?

  Sometimes just waking up in the morning and not giving up on yourself is a huge achievement.

• 11:52Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 11:53Muniba Mazari?

  You know, and I do it every day, you do it every day, we all do that. So appreciate it and be kind to yourself.

• 12:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Muniba Mazari?

  And you were talking about people dreaming. I always say one thing, that dreams don't work unless you do. You know, there is no such thing as overnight achievement. No, if it comes easy, it goes easy. I can sit in the corner of the room and daydream all day long, but nobody is going to come and serve success on plate.

• 12:20Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 12:21Muniba Mazari?

  Right? So I have to be optimistic, but I have to be realistic too. I need to work to get my dreams. And that's it. And what I've learned so far, Lewis, is the attitude of gratitude works wonders. Just be grateful.

• 12:37Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 12:37Muniba Mazari?

  Because you are way, way better than many. You know, it is so powerful that gratitude has the power to turn what you have into enough. You know gratitude will never let, it will never turn your pain into suffering. It will never, you know, and so be grateful for all the things that you have. For the things that you don't have or you have lost, just be grateful.

• 13:03Lewis Howes?

  There's a, for many years of my life, I would get frustrated when things would happen, right? I, I remember having a dream of being a professional football player and I got injured. I broke my wrist and had a surgery and had to recover for about a year and a half, which kept me from playing and living my dream and playing sports anymore. And then I went through multiple breakups. So I had to learn the lesson the hard way many times in relationships. You know, just lots of things happened where I was like, why is this happening? Why? Why is this breakdown happening? Why am I in pain? Why did this happen when I was a child? All these different things. And then I finally learned a strategy where people always say, you know, when you look back, you can connect the dots.

• 13:47Lewis Howes?

  Hindsight is twenty twenty, they say, right? You can look back and you can see why that needed to happen. Then when bad, bad things started to happen, I said, you know what? I'm gonna look forward. I'm gonna have future hindsight. I'm gonna say, you know what? This needed to happen because it's helping me become a new person. It's helping me let go of toxic relationships. It's helping me get on a different path that will serve more people in my life and bring me more joy. When you had this accident, did you think about yourself in the future? Or when did you realize, I should say, when did you start to realize that? Oh, this is happening for me because it's gonna benefit more people. It's gonna bring me closer to my mission or it's gonna help me bring myself more joy.

• 14:31Lewis Howes?

  When did that happen for you?

• 14:33Muniba Mazari?

  It's rightly said, nothing is happening to us. It's happening for us. It's all about perception, right? It's all about your perspective. You know, I cannot relate to that twenty one year old who used to walk around. I don't even remember, Louis, how it feels, you know, to stand on your legs.

• 14:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 14:54Muniba Mazari?

  I just don't feel it. And if you can feel it, you're very lucky.

• 15:00Muniba Mazari?

  You know, health is such a big blessing. And when I say that health is a blessing, does not make me unlucky because I'm not healthy that way. But all I know is that when I say rebirth, it was a completely new me. It was a totally different person. And yes, there are lessons, there are mistakes. And I always say that even wrong people in your life, they become lessons. Bad times become lessons.

• 15:26Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 15:26Muniba Mazari?

  Your mistakes become great lessons. And you learn, you grow, you improve. And that's what life journey is all about.

• 15:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. I've got a couple of final questions for you. This has been inspiring and I can't wait to meet you in person one day. I have a couple, a couple of final questions for you, but I want to, I want everyone listening and watching to follow you. You've got an amazing YouTube channel. I love your stuff on Instagram. Um, your website, uh, munibamazari.com and also your name on social media everywhere. But one thing I want to do is figure out, how can, how can people see your art and purchase your art? Where can we go to learn more about this? Cause I've, I've seen some of it online. I think it's really inspiring. And I want to send people to your artwork because I think it's beautiful what you create.

• 16:16Muniba Mazari?

  Thank you. Um, um, well, you can just drop an email. I don't know. This question came out of nowhere, so I was like, okay.

• 16:26Lewis Howes?

  Is there, is there artwork on your website where people can purchase? Or where can we find it?

• 16:30Muniba Mazari?

  My artwork is on my website. So what you can do is if you have some queries, you can just send an email, [email protected] and my team will get back to you.

• 16:39Lewis Howes?

  Okay, cool. And can we, is there stuff for sale online right now? If we wanted to purchase it? Or do you do, just do custom work? Or how does it work?

• 16:47Muniba Mazari?

  Uh, a lot of work is still available, yes.

• 16:49Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Perfect.

• 16:51Muniba Mazari?

  Yes.

• 16:52Lewis Howes?

  Okay, I want, I want to send people to your artwork. I want you to, I want people to have more of your art in their homes or in their offices around the world, so.

• 16:59Muniba Mazari?

  Thank you, Luis. Thank you, appreciate it.

• 17:01Lewis Howes?

  Of course, it's really beautiful stuff. Um, this is a question I ask everything, everyone at the end of my interviews. So I would like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario that you get to live as long as you want to live and. Um, accomplish and achieve and serve in the way you want to serve to the world. And you get to live your life the way you want, right? But one day, you have to go to the next place. You have to leave this earth.

• 17:32Lewis Howes?

  And for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you. This interview, your videos, your content, it has to go to the next place. So we don't have access to your information and this message anymore. It's hypothetical.

• 17:49Lewis Howes?

  But you get to leave behind to the world, three lessons that you've learned from your entire life experience. And these three lessons is all we would have to remember your content by. I call it the three truths question. What would be, again, without you preparing for this, what would be those three truths or three lessons you would share? If that's all you could share?

• 18:16Muniba Mazari?

  Well, um, I would want the world to know what real success is. Everybody wants to become successful. My definition of success is different. Success is not about how well people know you. Success is how well you know yourself.

• 18:33Lewis Howes?

  Ooh.

• 18:34Muniba Mazari?

  Right? So know your, just know yourself. If you know yourself, you are successful. And secondly,

• 18:45Muniba Mazari?

  be grateful.

• 18:46Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 18:48Muniba Mazari?

  I wish I could say it a thousand times, but gratitude works wonders. When you are too busy complaining about what you don't have, think about a child who is suffering from telesemia, who is waiting for one bottle of blood and dreaming to have a life that you have. But you know what? You're too busy complaining.

• 19:13Muniba Mazari?

  The bread that you just took right now, that's a blessing. Be grateful.

• 19:18Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 19:19Muniba Mazari?

  We are sitting here having a conversation. So many people have left the world. We are still here. Be grateful.

• 19:29Lewis Howes?

  How important, you know, I'm a big believer in visualization. And obviously in The Secret, that's something that was talked about. I haven't watched Secret in 10 years when it came out. But I mean, this is something I practice as an athlete to visualize my results before the game would happen. To see myself scoring the touchdown in the track meet. And I'm sure you did a lot of similar things. How important is visualization in abundance? But then also, how important is taking action?

• 19:53Lisa Nichols?

  Right. So I have five visualization exercises in that book, just because it's so important. Visualization is a gift to your heart and your soul. It's a gift. Because if the idea is the seed, visualization is the fertilizer. It's the fertilizer. Because when your thoughts are connected with an emotion. See, you would visualize yourself winning. And you would feel all the emotion that came with that. And all you're doing now is you're not chasing a foreign emotion. You know the feeling. And now you're just doing what's necessary to get back to that feeling in real time.

• 20:31Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 20:32Lisa Nichols?

  And so, what a good friend of mine, Vishen, the CEO of Mindvalley, who you know. I did a visualization with him. We were in Bali. And he said to me afterwards, "I never get emotional."

• 20:46Lewis Howes?

  He doesn't. He doesn't get emotional. He's like, super, yeah.

• 20:49Lisa Nichols?

  Well, he was like, "I cried. I got emotional." He goes, "I figured it out. It's visualization. A good visualization brings in emotion." He was like, "That's how you do it." And so, I love doing visualizations. Because, and it's really important in the visualization, you can't see it over there. You have to see it right here.

• 21:09Lewis Howes?

  Feel it.

• 21:10Lisa Nichols?

  You gotta feel it right here. Like, I am. It's all I am. I am. I am in my dream home. I am in my dream relationship. And then unpack what that looks like. But most importantly, unpack what it feels like. And when you have that emotion in this moment, all of a sudden, you stir up something that I don't think will ever go back to sleep. It'll go, "Okay, let's go get that." And what it really does is it sets up a state of cognitive dissonance. And cognitive dissonance is when you see something in your mind and you see yourself in a way that your behaviors are not currently leading to it. So your mind becomes disrupted and it goes, okay, can we get there?

• 21:49Lewis Howes?

  Right, because I'm not there right now.

• 21:50Lisa Nichols?

  I'm not there right now, and that's not comfortable. Your mind wants to literally be congruent, what it thinks is what you're doing, what it thinks is what you're doing. And so when you set up a constant and abundant thinkers like you and I, we do it unconsciously. We're constantly keeping ourself in a state of cognitive dissonance, meaning, okay, what else? And I'm seeing Lisa over there and I'm going, okay, let me go. While, while being grateful for my now.

• 22:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:16Lisa Nichols?

  It's not in that I'm gonna be whole and complete when I get over there. I'm whole and complete now. I just know I'm supposed to be over there, so let me do what's necessary to get over there. And let me, let me evict any behaviors or characteristics that are stopping me and let me adopt any new ones that I need.

• 22:31Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. How does someone discover their unique calling? Because you talk about that in the book, discovering your unique calling. What if people are like, I don't even know what I want. I know I want to be uh, out of the place I'm in. I want to be abundant, wealthy, healthy, great relationships.

• 22:44Lisa Nichols?

  Right.

• 22:44Lewis Howes?

  But I don't know what my purpose or calling is right now.

• 22:47Lisa Nichols?

  I think that people put uh, too big of a notion on purpose in that they think that it has to look like a Nelson Mandela, or a Mother Teresa, or Oprah, or a you, or a I. And, and a lot of times what you're really good at is right in front of you. What you're really great at is right in front of you. And to recognize that your calling and your purpose can change.

• 23:08Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 23:09Lisa Nichols?

  That it can change. You have a long lifetime. It's not gonna be the same calling the whole time. And so allow yourself to evolve, allow your purpose to evolve. What's that thing you do effortlessly that you give no credit to? Because you're, you're, you're just looking past, oh, it can't be that because it's not hard. Well, how about, it doesn't have to be difficult. How about the fact that you're a great listener? How can you take that and, and use that and expand it? And, and don't compare yourself to someone else. Comparison, I think Benjamin Franklin said comparison is the thief of all joy. It's all, when you look left or right, you know, people are always comparing me to. Oprah Winfrey, or Yana Von Zan, or Les Brown, or Tony Robbins. I said, listen, I will, if you want me to give you Oprah, or Yana, or Tony, or Les,

• 23:52Lisa Nichols?

  I'm always going to one thousand percent fail you.

• 23:55Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:56Lisa Nichols?

  But if you're ever interested, I do a good Lisa Nichols.

• 23:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:58Lisa Nichols?

  And so when you look at what are my gifts, what are my unique gifts? I knew very early on I was a gifted speaker. I wasn't certified as a gifted speaker. I haven't passed any courses as a speaker. Matter of fact, the last time I took a speech class, I got a D minus. And my speech teacher told me, Ms. Nichols, I recommend you never speak in public. That you get a desk job. That was in my freshman year of college, the last speech class I took. So a lot of times, your gift and your purpose, you've discounted it. Either because someone else discounted it, or what's more common is you don't know how to monetize it.

• 24:32Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 24:33Lisa Nichols?

  And sometimes the greatest gift you have to give is not for fee, it's for free. You watch people like you and I and go, well, why can't I get paid for it? Well, not every gift you're supposed to get paid for. Nelson Mandela did not get paid for leading twenty-seven years when he got out of prison. He got paid after that, but he was a great leader while he was in prison. And Martin Luther King, he was a, he, he got paid from the church, but his rights, his fight for civil rights, that was a free one, and he paid the highest cost. And you can go on and on and on to the, some of the greatest leaders, Mahatma Gandhi, it wasn't a paycheck.

• 25:03Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 25:04Lisa Nichols?

  And so, and I'm not, and, and I know we're scaled down to our version, but don't get attached to having to get paid for your gift.

• 25:11Lewis Howes?

  Right. Yeah, I started this podcast as a way of, I'm gonna do this for free for a year. I'm not gonna take any sponsors.

• 25:17Lisa Nichols?

  Right, right, right.

• 25:18Lewis Howes?

  I'm not gonna do anything, not gonna sell anything, I'm just gonna create and facilitate great conversations.

• 25:22Lisa Nichols?

  And serve.

• 25:23Lewis Howes?

  And that's it. And now, the, the money is coming in because of how it's impacted people's lives.

• 25:28Lisa Nichols?

  And your intention was in the right place.

• 25:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, but it wasn't like, how can I do this right now to make money? It was how can I serve the maximum number of people?

• 25:34Lisa Nichols?

  That right there. That when people live in a place of servant leadership, my grandmother said when I was twenty-four, if you leave and how you, how can you serve the most people? When I sit with my team, I go, how can we serve more people? How can we serve, last year, we were able to touch thirty million people. How, and that's all our question. Now, as we serve, our platform gets brought up, but how can we serve? Tell me how we can make more money. I'm not interested in that. I mentioned, how can we serve more? Cause if I do the right thing for the right reasons, everything I need will be a byproduct of that.

• 26:04Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 26:04Lisa Nichols?

  So I think we get caught up in, you know, society allows us to have us, has us looking at possessions. And so we begin to measure our joy and our abundance on possessions. I, I have a friend who's worth, he's worth fourteen billion dollars. I didn't even write that. I had to write it down so I could see it.

• 26:23Lewis Howes?

  Probably zeros is out there.

• 26:24Lisa Nichols?

  Right, right, a lot. He's worth fourteen billion dollars. I checked my email on my phone before we started and he's on my phone asking me, please come visit me. Cause he's lonely. He's rich, but he's not abundant. He flew from Canada to co- to come to my house for New Years, just to be around people who were celebrating and wanted nothing from them. And so, don't pursue the things. Pursue the acts of service and everything you need will come. I promise you.

• 26:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's powerful. Let's talk about the four Es. What is this principle of the four Es that you talk about in your book?

• 26:59Lisa Nichols?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, so that I, I, I like to break up my life in quadrants and I help my students. I do a lot of coaching. I do personal development and professional development coaching. And no matter where you come, where you come to me, whether you come to me for personal development or whether you are, want to turn your passion into profit in this professional development and business development. For entrepreneurs, we go over the four Es. Because abundance is holistic. It's a holistic experience. So the first is enrichment of self. That you're only gonna go as far as you think you're worthy. I can push, you can push, you can have the greatest product. But if you don't feel worthy, you will work hard to sabotage that relationship. You don't know you're doing, you don't know you're doing, you think these are the things I need. And you're driving that guy away.

• 27:44Lisa Nichols?

  You're driving that woman away. Because your self-worth says they weren't gonna stay forever anyway. Or self-worth around money, you have a cap. That you feel like you're worthy of a million dollars. You will always get to nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand. And you will stop because your self-worth says it. So enrichment is number one.

• 28:02Lewis Howes?

  What's a good exercise or process that we can follow on a daily basis? Maybe something simple to enhance our enrichment.

• 28:09Lisa Nichols?

  Absolutely.

• 28:10Lewis Howes?

  And worthiness.

• 28:11Lisa Nichols?

  Absolutely. I did this for six months, every single day, right after I brushed my teeth. And it's the I see you exercise. And you get in the mirror now. It's not necessarily simple, cuz you're dealing with yourself.

• 28:25Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 28:25Lisa Nichols?

  And as complicated as you are, will be the degree of the.

• 28:28Lewis Howes?

  Mechanics of it are simple.

• 28:29Lisa Nichols?

  The mechanics are very simple, yes. I appreciate that distinction. You get in the mirror and you complete three different sentences. You wanna write this down. The first sentence, you look at yourself and you say your name. So you say Louis, and you complete this, I'm proud that you. And find seven different things every day to celebrate yourself for. Seven different. Each day, you can do the same thing you did the day before. But each day, do seven different things to be proud of. The second sentence is gonna knock you down a little bit. It's gonna come from your gut. Louis, I forgive you for. And cut the shackles to blame, shame, guilt, regret, and anger. In that sentence, you cut those five shackles. Not the first day, maybe not the third day, but by the twenty-first day, by the thirteenth day, you'll feel some relief.

• 29:13Lisa Nichols?

  So Louis, I forgive you for. And go back five years, fifteen years, twenty years, do that forgive you for that thing, don't nobody know about. But you, go ahead and cut those shackles. Cuz if you can still think about it, it's still in your energy space. And then the third sentence is Louis, I commit to you that. Before you make a commitment to anybody else throughout your day, you make seven commitments to you. So the first sentence is, I'm proud of you. You're celebrating yourself first. We are under celebrated as a, as a society. We look for acknowledgement. They inter, they interviewed a hundred executives that all made over a quarter of a million dollars and said, would you like a five percent raise next year? Or would you rather be told thank you more often? One hundred percent, one hundred percent said, keep your money. I'd rather hear thank you.

• 29:57Lisa Nichols?

  So we're under celebrated, but first celebrate you. Be the example. When I was on Oprah, when she said, what do you do? I said, I recognize that I'm the example of how the rest of the world is supposed to treat me. And it's my job to give the world the best example of how I like to be treated. So celebrate yourself, forgive yourself, cut the shackles, and then commit to yourself before you commit to anyone else. That right there.

• 30:18Lewis Howes?

  Powerful.

• 30:18Lisa Nichols?

  That right there will begin to fill your cup up to get to your salsa.

• 30:22Lewis Howes?

  I love that. Where did you start to learn that process? Was that something you just started to practice yourself and started looking in the mirror and trying different things?

• 30:30Lisa Nichols?

  You, boy, you asked the question. Um, I was in a relationship, engaged to be married, and it became abusive. I was emotionally abused. And then, um, he picked me up and threw me three feet across the room and choked me until I passed out. I don't tell a lot of people that. Um, and I was suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder. And my mother asked me to go to the doctor, strongly recommended I go to the doc. Mm, drug me to the doctor.

• 30:58Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:58Lisa Nichols?

  And after the assessment of me in Manhattan Beach, um, my doctor said that I was clinically depressed. And I, I said, how did I get here? Me? That don't even fit with my name. I was head cheerleader at my high school. I was, I was the captain of the track team. I was, I'm always the person to get people going. It didn't fit. How did I get here? I don't know if you've ever found yourself saying, how did I get here? I was sitting on the table in the doctor's office saying, how did I get here? And when she wrote me the prescription, she handed me the prescription. And I read the prescription and it said Lisa Nichols Prozac.

• 31:40Lisa Nichols?

  It was like, I was looking at a foreign statement, my name and Prozac. And I asked her, I said, can I try something for thirty days? Cause I, I realized I was just sad. I lost me. I had lost me in him. I had lost me in being a mother. I had lost me in being the mother of a son whose father was in prison. And trying to hide that shame. And then trying to make this man happy and then beginning to fend for my life. I lost me. So I needed to discover me. I needed to remind myself who I was. And so, I just realized I, I didn't celebrate me. I, I was beating myself up. I was really mad at me. And I was showing up for everyone else. So I just made up these sentences.

• 32:25Lisa Nichols?

  And I did it to rescue myself, to turn my crawl into a walk. And I ultimately was able to turn my crawl into a walk. And my walk into a run. And my run into a soar. But it started out as a crawl. So I don't offer the how I got to that exercise often unless someone asks. Thank you very much, my darling. Thanks for sharing and opening up. I, I've, I've, I've, I've long since learned four things.

• 32:54Lisa Nichols?

  This, to me, this is the road to true freedom. I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to protect. I have nothing to hide. And I have nothing to defend. That your perception of me, after I tell my truth, has actually none of my business. My perception of me, that I go to bed as whole and complete as I woke up.

• 33:19Lisa Nichols?

  Before I check how many likes I have on Facebook, that I like me first. And every other like is bonus.

• 33:26Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 33:27Lisa Nichols?

  Like it. That was a long road to get to. Long road.

• 33:30Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 33:30Lisa Nichols?

  Long road.

• 33:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, we probably have to constantly be reminded of it, you know.

• 33:35Lisa Nichols?

  And then when I.

• 33:36Lewis Howes?

  Get in that place.

• 33:37Lisa Nichols?

  And then when I, when I live like I'm forgetting, you have to have accountability partners stashed in the corners of your life. And you have to give them an assignment on your high day. You have to give them an assignment on your high day. If I look like I'm slipping.

• 33:50Lewis Howes?

  Well, my ego's in the way.

• 33:52Lisa Nichols?

  Get in my face. Get in my face. Right. Get in my face and remind me of the man, of the woman I said I wanted to be. Don't let me off the hook for the twenty twenty version of me.

• 34:03Lewis Howes?

  Cause we're humans. It's gonna happen. As long as we're breathing, we're gonna be out of integrity at some point.

• 34:07Lisa Nichols?

  Come on. Your humanity's gonna get in the way. Your ego, or ladies, your she-go is going to get hooked.

• 34:12Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 34:13Lisa Nichols?

  Absolutely.

• 34:14Lewis Howes?

  Your resentment, your.

• 34:16Lisa Nichols?

  Your smallness, just smallness. It all fits in smallness. I'm, I'm, I'm human. And so I, I'm, the best thing I did was to keep people around me, to hold me accountable to the woman I said I want to become.

• 34:26Lewis Howes?

  Sure. That's great. I love that. That's why I have a lot of people from the Midwest who, who work with me on my team, to support me, keep me grounded.

• 34:32Lisa Nichols?

  Right, right, right, right, right. Like, don't get too Hollywood.

• 34:34Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 34:35Lisa Nichols?

  Don't get caught up in the lights and the cameras and the dag gone headset.

• 34:38Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Exactly.

• 34:40Lisa Nichols?

  Absolutely.

• 34:41Lewis Howes?

  Okay, enrichment. That's the first part. Uh, the second part is enchantment.

• 34:44Lisa Nichols?

  Relationships are going to define the quality of your life. When you're on your bed on your last days, you're gonna wanna know who's gonna be around you. Bottom line, you're not gonna care about another podcast. You're not gonna care about another sponsor. I'm not gonna care about another book or the freaking New York Times best, it matters to us now. But the relationships in your life are going to determine the quality of your life. And so mind your relationships. And so in the book Abundance Now, I teach you how to, how to heal broken relationships that matter to you. How to give back level set. I give you this great, um, this great tool, um, called, um, it's a, it's a, it's a, a conversation to heal a, a broken experience. So, uh, it's called a communication charter. I use it in my company. I use it at my house.

• 35:30Lisa Nichols?

  And, um, so just is about how do I keep great relationships? And then the third area. Is engagement, work engagement. You're gonna spend so much time in work. And we're so emotionally attached to our work. And most of the time, people are attached in such a dismal way. That why would you have that dismal energy around something you're gonna spend so many hours in? So I teach you how to shift your energy toward your work. So that you no longer look at it as your work. Now, it's no longer your J L B. Like everyone in my community, all everyone in my tribe, they no longer say they have a job. They say, I have an investor. And when you look at your job as your investor, you really rename it as your investor.

• 36:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:07Lisa Nichols?

  And it's investing in your breathtaking future. It has the capacity to buy anything you want for your future. If you mind your money right.

• 36:14Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 36:14Lisa Nichols?

  Right? It can buy your freedom. And all of a sudden, you start treating your investor better and you're more excited about going. Matter of fact, you're grateful. You're grateful for your investor. Man, my investor was L A Unified School District. That was a hard place to be when it was a job. I'm just telling you, but as an investor, for three and a half years, I wrote myself a check. And I put in a memo line, funding my dream. I didn't even know what the dream was. I wasn't even clear. I just knew whatever my dream was, it was gonna cost some money.

• 36:41Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 36:42Lisa Nichols?

  And I needed to pay. And I need to have some money to pay. In that if I was gonna ask other people to invest in me, I had to be my first investor. Who am I to ask someone to put money my way when I didn't put money my way?

• 36:51Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 36:52Lisa Nichols?

  So I wanted to, I wanted someone for them to match, just match my investment in me. I got ten in, can you put ten in? I got twenty in, can you put twenty in? And so when you look at your job, your work engagement as an investor into your breathtaking life, all of a sudden, there's a different energy around it.

• 37:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:06Lisa Nichols?

  And then the last one is money endowment.

• 37:08Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 37:08Lisa Nichols?

  And to recognize more than the Dr. Seuss family and the Disney family and the McDonald's family and the Lawrence Welk family has a right to an endowment. When you get the understanding, and I really unpack it here, where you kinda go, what? Like I'll, I'll make you do a couple of Scooby Doo looks in the book like.

• 37:25Lisa Nichols?

  When you look and go, I can do an endowment, like I, like, cause we think it's for them. Remember, I started this conversation with abundances for those people over there. Especially when it comes to an endowment, our living legacy, like in your book and be a quick, create, creating a legacy. To recognize that, wait a minute, there's a Lewis endowment and a Lisa endowment and a Don and John and Tanya endowment and, and fill in the blank here endowment. And I need to live my life to set up my endowment. All of a sudden, you become responsible for generations to come.

• 37:55Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 37:55Lisa Nichols?

  Responsible for changing the trajectory of your family's life. That's some bold stuff. When in your lifetime. You do a needlepoint move for your family. In my lifetime, I was able to do a needlepoint move for my son. Like, he's a Nichols child. He's one of many Nichols men. But that's a Nichols man who now knows what it feels like to cook in Italy and in Tuscany and in Florence and in Venice and in Rome. That's a, that's a Nichols child who knows what it feels like to go surfing on the coast of Australia. That's a Nichols child who understands what it feels like to stand on the tallest mountain in Africa. Like, his life. I asked him this morning, I said, Jelani, can you, when you get married and have children, can you stay in California? So mommy can really see her grandchildren?

• 38:40Lisa Nichols?

  And he goes, well, mom, that's kind of restrictive. It's restrictive to stay in big California. It's like, mom, that's kind of, because he knows the world.

• 38:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:48Lisa Nichols?

  His, his paradigm shift has occurred. He won't ever live like another. And he'll take everything he's learned and expand the Nichols male child experience. So in, in my generation, in my lifetime, I was able to change our family experience for him. And so I, I believe that we have a right to look at our legacy.

• 39:10Lewis Howes?

  You think you could have been as successful on your own or without the team?

• 39:13Lindsey Vonn?

  No, you need a team. You absolutely need a team. And so it goes with everything that you're doing, whether it's in business or sports or whatever, you know, you can't do everything by yourself. So surround yourself by people that will help you. And, you know, my coaches were amazing. I had the best ski technician in the world, Heinz. He literally was just as invested in my success as I was. I mean, if I, when I won, he would cry, you know?

• 39:38Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 39:38Lindsey Vonn?

  It was great and, you know?

• 39:40Lewis Howes?

  Did you cry too?

• 39:42Lindsey Vonn?

  I cried because he was crying. It was like a thing. I'm like, Heinz, why are you crying? You're making me cry. Um, and, you know, he would, he was so nervous when I crashed and, you know, like, it just feels really good to know that someone's that invested in what you're doing. And they're putting just as much effort into what they're doing to make you succeed as you are.

• 40:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:01Lindsey Vonn?

  It's like me working in the gym, you know, he's in the ski room tuning my skis for hours on end. A lot of people don't know that about ski racing. It's, your equipment is a, is a huge part of your success. So if I didn't have him, if I didn't have my coaches, I didn't have my physical therapist, Lindsay Wininger, who helped me get back from all my injuries. You know, if I didn't have, like, all those people, I couldn't do what I did.

• 40:26Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 40:26Lindsey Vonn?

  So.

• 40:27Lewis Howes?

  Team is everything. What was the greatest lesson your coach taught you?

• 40:32Lindsey Vonn?

  It was my coach from Minnesota, the ninety-six-year-old. He said, when I was like, I think I was like ten or eleven. He said, "I'm fast the way I am, so don't change it." Because a lot of people at that time in my career tried to change my technique. And even my dad was like, you know, this isn't, she's not going to succeed if she stays like this. And he's like, "No, this is her natural talent. Stay with what you, what you, what you have. Don't try to be someone else. You know, you're fast the way you are." And so, I kind of, you know, morphed that into life as well. You know, it's like, you are who you are, and that's what makes you special, so stick with it.

• 41:10Lewis Howes?

  That's a good lesson.

• 41:12Lindsey Vonn?

  Right?

• 41:12Lewis Howes?

  It's a beautiful lesson. And how, how do you deal now and how did you deal with negative thoughts? Did they fester for a while? Did you have a technique that allowed you to get out of it into more positivity? What did you do?

• 41:24Lindsey Vonn?

  Hmm, I mean, I think journaling helped, you know. Honest, like skiing was the best outlet for me.

• 41:31Lewis Howes?

  It's therapy, huh?

• 41:31Lindsey Vonn?

  Yeah, and which was why it was so hard to retire, you know? Which is why then, you know, COVID, sitting there with your thoughts, not ideal. But ended up being great. Yeah, I mean, I think social media was at times really difficult.

• 41:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 41:48Lindsey Vonn?

  Because other people would say negative things about me, and that would kind of creep in. And I wouldn't necessarily always believe it, but it's still kind of, it's like there. You know, it's like a little mosquito, and it's like,

• 41:59Lewis Howes?

  Annoying you.

• 42:00Lindsey Vonn?

  Do people actually think that about me, you know? And it kind of adds a little bit of doubt in there. And it's not always the easiest to get rid of those negative thoughts. But I try to focus on, again, like, what makes me happy? Why am I doing this? I'm not doing it for other people, I'm doing it for myself. And, you know, everyone's going to judge you, everyone's going to, there's always going to be people that say bad things about you, but, you know, when the lights are off and you go to bed, you know, it's just you. And are you happy with yourself? And I think that's the ultimate question. And if you can be happy with that, then you're good. Who cares what it all stinks?

• 42:39Lewis Howes?

  Amen to that. There's a great speech by Matthew McConaughey. Where he talks about his hero is ten years away from him. He's always chasing his hero when he won the Oscar, I think it was. He said, "I'm always chasing my hero who's ten years away from me." We've talked about your 10-year-old self. You've had a couple of years of transition now. I'm curious, in 10 years from now, where do you see yourself being? And what advice do you wish your 10-year-old, your 10-year-away self would give you right now?

• 43:12Lindsey Vonn?

  I have no idea what I'll be in 10 years. Like, I don't know where I'll be in 10 days.

• 43:16Lewis Howes?

  I know, it's crazy.

• 43:17Lindsey Vonn?

  I, and I, I really like not knowing. You know, I used to really try to, I'm a planner, and I like organizing and like knowing what's gonna happen and like planning as far out as I can.

• 43:29Lewis Howes?

  You're always scheduled. You got a marriage, you got training.

• 43:31Lindsey Vonn?

  Yeah, it's always a schedule. And I kinda really like not having as like, you know, as tight of a schedule as I used to have. And so, I don't know. I have no idea. I mean, hopefully I'll have kids and, you know, 10 years is a long time, you know, I'm 36 and that's, you know. I don't know. But I, I know that I have a lot more to do and, and that's really exciting. I think the same is, you know, when you asked me, what would I tell my 10-year-old or 16-year-old self? I wouldn't say anything, cuz I have to have those experiences and I'm excited for them, you know? Good or bad, I think, you know, it's just a part of the journey. And so far, it's been great, so I feel like.

• 44:15Lewis Howes?

  Just keep it one day at a time.

• 44:16Lindsey Vonn?

  You know, keep it one day at a time, keep it simple.

• 44:18Lewis Howes?

  And when do you feel the most loved? When you're doing what?

• 44:22Lindsey Vonn?

  Hanging out with my dogs, yeah. They love me no matter what. It's the best feeling ever.

• 44:28Lewis Howes?

  Isn't it incredible?

• 44:29Lindsey Vonn?

  That's why I have three, I'm the crazy dog lady.

• 44:30Lewis Howes?

  Oh my, it's not crazy. Well, I have one cat, so I'm the crazy cat dude.

• 44:33Lindsey Vonn?

  Oh, that's where I draw the line.

• 44:35Lewis Howes?

  Cuz I travel so much, I travel so much.

• 44:38Lindsey Vonn?

  And cut.

• 44:40Lewis Howes?

  She's a good cat. She just relax, she's like a little dog. She like lays next to me and she just like purrs on me.

• 44:45Lindsey Vonn?

  I think I'm scarred for my mom's cats, they're traumatizing.

• 44:48Lewis Howes?

  No, you need a chill cat. You need a cat that's like a dog, that like plays fetch and, nah, nah, nah.

• 44:54Lindsey Vonn?

  No, it's not. Yeah, so my dogs are the best, like, nothing like, well, you know, having Ben and Jerry's, with my three dogs, watching Law and Order.

• 45:02Lewis Howes?

  Or pizza.

• 45:03Lindsey Vonn?

  Ideal.

• 45:03Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 45:04Lindsey Vonn?

  Yeah, that's when I feel the best.

• 45:06Lewis Howes?

  What is something about yourself that you're most proud of that most people don't know about?

• 45:13Lindsey Vonn?

  Um, I don't know. I feel like everyone knows everything about me, sometimes way too much. Um, that I'm most proud of, um, I don't know, I'm most proud of my family. Just like, you know, I think I'm really lucky to have, you know, siblings that are, you know, as great as they are and, you know, I'm really proud of, you know, where everyone's, how far everyone's gone and I guess that has nothing to do with me, but at the same time, I don't know, I feel like we're all a unit, so I'm proud of them.

• 45:49Lewis Howes?

  Beautiful, yeah. What about your biggest fear right now?

• 45:54Lindsey Vonn?

  Hmm, I mean, I had a lot more of them a couple of months ago, but I feel like...

• 46:01Lewis Howes?

  What were they a couple of months ago?

• 46:03Lindsey Vonn?

  Well, you know, I hadn't really processed, like, you know, retirement. So I guess now I'm, I don't know, I'm just kind of happy not knowing what's gonna happen. You know, where I was a little bit nervous, you know, what was gonna happen before, like, you know, where's my career going, you know, what's life, what's gonna, you know, just... Cause you know, as much as I have things planned, nothing's really planned.

• 46:25Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 46:25Lindsey Vonn?

  Right, so, I don't know.

• 46:27Lewis Howes?

  And your fears now?

• 46:31Lindsey Vonn?

  I don't know. I kinda, it's, I guess it's similar to skiing, like, I don't really, I try not to think about any, like, I don't, I never had fear when I was skiing. And I think I'm finally in a place where I'm like very present in the moment.

• 46:44Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 46:45Lindsey Vonn?

  And not thinking about, you know, what could go wrong, I'm just thinking about what opportunities are there.

• 46:50Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 46:52Lewis Howes?

  And what is the question you wish more people would ask you, but they don't ask you?

• 46:56Lindsey Vonn?

  How are you doing?

• 46:58Lewis Howes?

  How are you doing?

• 46:58Lindsey Vonn?

  Yeah, I'm great, thank you, how are you?

• 47:01Lewis Howes?

  People don't ask you that enough?

• 47:02Lindsey Vonn?

  Like, in a general way, like, you know, it's like, how are you feeling?

• 47:06Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 47:07Lindsey Vonn?

  Like, I don't know, people, it's like, there's greetings, where like, hey, what's up, you know, how's it going, but it's like, actually, how are you feeling? Like, are you happy, you know what I mean? Like, I have a few people that say that, and those are my friends.

• 47:23Lewis Howes?

  Not many people ask you how you're feeling?

• 47:24Lindsey Vonn?

  No.

• 47:26Lewis Howes?

  Again, next time I'm at an event and you're by yourself, I know what to do.

• 47:29Lindsey Vonn?

  Exactly.

• 47:30Lewis Howes?

  I know what to ask you.

• 47:30Lindsey Vonn?

  You know the tips.

• 47:31Lewis Howes?

  I'm coming up to you, I'm gonna ask you how you're feeling.

• 47:33Lindsey Vonn?

  I'm pretty simple.

• 47:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:34Lindsey Vonn?

  Yeah, those are, I think those are really important things.

• 47:38Lewis Howes?

  Who is the person in your family that has taught you the biggest lesson?

• 47:43Lewis Howes?

  I'm sure they've all taught you something, but what's a lesson that really stands out?

• 47:45Lindsey Vonn?

  I mean, everyone's taught me something. I think,

• 47:49Lindsey Vonn?

  you know, my grandfather and my dad taught me, you know, about toughness and, you know, what it really means to, you know, sacrifice and work hard. And I think those are incredible traits that, you know, not a lot of people have. And like, I have a really good understanding of what it means to sacrifice because they had such a great example for me.

• 48:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 48:14Lindsey Vonn?

  But I mean, I think my sister Karen really kind of has been, she's just helped me be like a person.

• 48:23Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 48:24Lindsey Vonn?

  And that's awesome.

• 48:24Lewis Howes?

  A human being.

• 48:25Lindsey Vonn?

  Yeah. I'm like, that's been great.

• 48:26Lewis Howes?

  Not the athlete and not the competitor, the personality.

• 48:30Lindsey Vonn?

  Right. And that's the one thing I love about my family, which, you know, is why I talk about them so much is just because they're, I'm always me, you know, so they always, you know, it doesn't matter what I do, I'm always, you know, gonna be me and they always treat me like that.

• 48:46Lewis Howes?

  What is the self-talk you do internally? If you don't have a mirror, if you're not alone in a bathroom, what's your process that you say to yourself? What are the reminders? What are the mantras, meditations that you think about before that?

• 48:59Speaker 04

  It always helps me to voice it whenever I'm insecure. I either, I'll write about it somewhere, or I'll speak to somebody who I trust, my mom, my husband, my best friend.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  But I find it easier to talk about it. So that's why I have a healthier relationship with my insecurities because I take away their power by discussing them. I choose not to live with them alone in the dark recesses of my mind because then they become monsters and then they become really, really large and they're usually not real. So it's always been very helpful to me whenever I'm feeling crazy or insecure or afraid or even if I feel like I've made a mistake.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  My dad told me this when I was very young, when I was, you know, sixteen, the first time. He sat me down and he gave me a glass of champagne and I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, you're sixteen, you know, you can have a glass of champagne with me, you're gonna do it anyway.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  It was like, and he told me, he was like, whatever happens in your life, you should feel free to be able to do it with your parents. There's nothing to hide um from us, um I'll always be in your corner. And you know, he told me that about feelings. I always had the freedom to talk to my mom or my dad as a kid about anything I was feeling. I just, at least to my father, I wouldn't discuss the boyfriends, but my mom, she was like my best friend. She knew about every um, you know, object of attraction that I ever had.

• 50:40Speaker 04

  And I think that that sort of gives you um the sense of confidence to be able to talk about it. And I just think it's a great first step to get rid of insecurities.

• 50:52Lewis Howes?

  I'm just a big believer, I love everything you're saying, and I'm just a big believer that if people really listen to this and understand, take it in what you're sharing, that it's hard to achieve anything without confidence. You could have the greatest experience, you could have the greatest degree, the skills, you could have the family, you could have the money, like you could have good looks, whatever it is, you could have the stuff. But if you don't know how to build confidence when it matters, it doesn't matter if the world believes in you, if we don't believe in ourselves, nothing's gonna happen.

• 51:23Speaker 04

  The world won't believe in you, if you don't believe in you. And I I think like as as someone in the public profession, you know, my job is to be entertaining and be confident and in every step that I take and in every move that I make. But I think recognizing that confidence is not something.

• 51:44Speaker 04

  We are born with, it's it's a skill. It's like, you know, it's a muscle almost. If you think of it like going to the gym. And you know, to to have muscles and to be in shape, you've got to work at it, just like the vocal cords. People, the greatest musicians in the world, they use, you know, their their vocal cords. They do riyas, like we call it in Hindi, but which is um, warmups and stuff like that. So confidence to me is like that. You start you using that at a very small level. Um, everyday life, you know, when you're in school, there were times when I was in school where I used to take the other hall uh hallway because I didn't want to bump into someone else.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  When I started high school, by the time I was in 11th grade, I was walking in the middle of the hallway.

• 52:32Lewis Howes?

  You're stood around, you get people moving away, yeah.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  I was like, excuse me, I didn't even have to say that. I was just walking because, and that's the same person. But I think that in any profession or any aspect of life, confidence is, perception is reality. Most people believe that, right? You know that how people perceive you is what they think reality is. So give them something perceivable.

• 52:55Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Amen to that. What would you say are three things on a daily basis that you do to build confidence that you think anyone could apply for their life, even if they feel like they have no confidence?

• 53:06Speaker 04

  When I wake up in the morning, I take time in the bathroom. Like I I shower, I will, you know, pick the outfit that I'm feeling today. I will um, you know, sort of doing my makeup and my hair sort of helps me uh or my skincare routine, actually. Night helps me be sort of introspective. Otherwise, through the day, I'm very erratic. I have, you know, multiple balls in the air. Um. Professionally, I'm doing a lot of things. I'm always behind on time. I'm always playing catch up. So at the end of the night and the beginning of the day, I really give myself some silence. I play music and, you know, um. I put my creams on and I really think about.

• 53:47Speaker 04

  What the day is going to be like and how my first step outside room is going to be. When I take that first step outside my safe space, it sets the tone for my day. So I try not to have it be erratic or scary or like, you know, if I'm late and if I'm running, that always sets the tone for my energy through the day. So I try to really, you know, start my day on the tone I want to have and the confidence I want to have. And at every given step during um the day, I remind myself of the things I have instead of the things I don't have.

• 54:23Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  Like insecurity comes from, a lot of it sometimes I think comes from, oh my gosh, I don't have this, it's not good enough, or I'm not good enough for particular scenario or a particular situation, or, you know, we start judging ourselves and this was another lesson, actually, and activity that my mom and I used to do is we used to count our blessings. And, you know, me and my husband do it too, whenever we're feeling crazy because our schedules are insane. We're, you know, always in different parts of the world. Um, we do that. We count our blessings about just five things that whenever you're feeling sort of crazy and unstable, that um, you know, you have that you're really grateful for. And I'm not even saying this superficially, this was

• 55:06Speaker 04

  um, like truly an exercise. No matter how badly off you are, someone else is worse off than you. That makes it so easy to count your blessings.

• 55:17Lewis Howes?

  I mean, especially watching this uh, this latest movie that you're in, I mean, White Tiger. It, I've been, I've only been India once. I went there four years ago and studied meditation in Chennai uh, for a couple of weeks, but I went to Delhi and, you know, kind of traveled around a little bit. I didn't see everything, but I saw a lot of uh, dark things and a lot of things that were constantly reminding me, wow, I have a lot to be grateful for every moment. So I think it's important to have that perspective in our lives that we always have something to be grateful for, even when it's the darkest time, there's something to be grateful for.

• 55:51Speaker 04

  Absolutely. And that's so empowering. That to me is my greatest mantra is, you know, truly and tangibly do it, on your fingers, do it, like just five things. Um, and it's it's a great exercise to do with someone as well, your kids, your family, you know. Um, anytime, it's just like five things, then you have to just say it, rattle it out. Um, the five things that you can think of at that point. But, um, you know, the the crazy part about The White Tiger is that it's based in India and you probably reacted to it because it's it's shot so authentically. But if you think about it, the majority of the world lives in those conditions.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  You know, and um, the socioeconomic divide that exists right now is only increasing.

• 56:38Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  Like even the Sustainable Development Goals have been set to eradicate extreme poverty because it's such a big problem. There's such a large population of the world. And we as privileged society, we as privileged people, anyone who has a roof above their head and meals um on their table is privileged. And as privileged people, like that's something that's our concern. Um, you know, there's a large generation of children who don't have a choice in their future or in their lives. They don't know if they can have aspirations or dreams. And um, how desensitized we were last time, you know, you've driven past a homeless shelter and you've not even looked at it

• 57:23Speaker 04

  or a homeless person and not even looked at them. It's the desensitization that we as people who have um, and that's the differentiation between the have-nots. But it's also a reality and it's a reality every everywhere in the world.

• 57:39Lewis Howes?

  I don't want to give away the whole movie. I want everyone to watch it because it was really powerful and uh and inspiring to see uh someone come from, you know, poverty to essentially become, uh, you know, an entrepreneur and be successful in their own way. And the the story is really powerful, but you took on a role that is I I found fascinating because that's probably not, I don't know if that's how you would react in real life. Because I know you have such a giving, grateful heart, caring about humanity. But your character does something that's very controversial. And uh, you essentially, from my opinion, don't take accountability.

• 58:14Speaker 04

  Um, yeah.

• 58:15Lewis Howes?

  And and how, how did you feel?

• 58:19Lewis Howes?

  Doing a role that is probably against your morals, your values and the way you live your life right now.

• 58:25Speaker 04

  I never judge my characters, um, you know, like I never judge people. Live and let live, each person is individual to their decisions. And if I started to judge, I would never be able to play bad guys and I love playing bad guys.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  But um, I think what was most interesting for me when I was playing Pinky is she's an American. You know, she and I'm an Indian who's grown up in India and understands the complexity of the diversity of that country. There is no one India, there is multiple Indias and you can spend your whole life trying to get to know it. And you'll still never know her. So this is one aspect of India that is showcased in this movie, but it's also. It's more than that, it's the story of this one man and everyone else from his perspective. So it's not us looking at him or the country, it's him looking at all of us saying, oh.

• 59:25Speaker 04

  You know, and especially with my character, she's woke, but she's fake woke, right? She's one of those girls who's like, why don't you pull yourselves out of your circumstances? I, my parents worked in a bodega, you know, and I pulled myself out, why don't you do it? He doesn't have a roof over his shoulders. His pa- his family doesn't have food, it's a completely different complexity that. Most woke people don't have the ability to understand, including me, I lived there and I can't claim to understand it because. You know, I um, have had um, you know, basic lively life rights. Uh, since I was a child, I've been to school, I've had an opinion of about where my future is going to be choices.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  Um, and that's what's so amazing to me about this movie was that I I leaned into playing a character that was fake woke and, you know, pivoted when it wasn't convenient. Me and my husband both, uh, in the movie, not my real husband.

• 1:00:25Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  Um, my cha- the character in my, um, in the movie. Both of us sort of like were like, this is not the right thing, but you know, when it wasn't, when it was inconvenient, we kind of stood back and watched. And that's a very human testament, which is why this bu- this movie, which was originally a book by Arvind Adiga, uh, which came out in two thousand eight. It was a Man Booker Prize winner. It was a New York Times bestseller. When this book came out, that's exactly what it did. It was such a human sort of transcript, human behavior, you know, flawed, not black or white, living in gray, all of them, living in gray, which is truly how we live. And it's sort of self-reflective.

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  It's in, it, it should make people feel introspective and think about the last time we behaved like that.

• 1:01:16Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:17Speaker 04

  Um, plus it's clever and it's sarcastic. I sarcasm is my favorite language, so I really enjoyed the tone of the movie as well.

• 1:01:26Lewis Howes?

  Speaking about sarcasm, was it pretty easy for you to, to, uh, to step into that character, living in L A then, with all the, uh, woke, fake woke people here?

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  Um, I mean, I will say that I, I may have been inspired by my surroundings just a little bit.

• 1:01:44Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious, excuse me, I'm curious about, um, your evolution as a, a woman in this industry. Typically, younger women are more desirable for opportunities in their late teens, early twenties. And it's like when you're twenty six, twenty seven, it's almost like you're old as a woman and you may not be the young sexy one anymore or something in this industry. How do you feel after getting into your late thirties now? How have you evolved personally to not allow that stigma to hold you back from being who you want, who you want to be, from accepting yourself, from loving yourself, from innovating and reinventing yourself that you've done so many times? How do you not let that stigma hold you back?

• 1:02:28Speaker 04

  I can't say that I don't. I just am hoping that it doesn't happen to me, you know. We live in a world where anything is possible right now, as we've seen in the last few year, a few months, years as well. Um, and I, I think that I remember when I was in my, when I was twenty eight. Um, my mom sat me down one day and she said, you know, um, you, uh.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  Girls have a shelf life and you're reaching that. Where, you know, the older boys, um, they're always looking for the younger girl to act with. And even if they're in their fifties, you know, they're still gonna be working with twenty year olds, but you're gonna be old and you need to think about a business. Uh, if acting opportunities stop coming your way, that's how I actually started my production house. Because I was like, you're right. What if I'm like, I need to be financially independent in my life. But at the same time, while this was happening to me, I recognized that innovation and reinventing who I am. Even for me, is so important and being true to the craft that I'm doing.

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  And the, the service that I have to provide, which is my job. So I started trying new things. I started wanting to grow. I didn't want to stagnate into doing the same kind of roles. I didn't want to stagnate in, you know, similar kind of parts or even languages and borders. And I did music. I was signed as a record, recording artist to Interscope, I met Bose. Um, I pivoted from that into television that I had never done, English language TV. Then I moved into features in America. Now I'm producing in India and America and acting in both these countries. Which are two of the greatest movie industries in the world. But if I sat down to think about the glass ceiling that was built for me.

• 1:04:22Speaker 04

  Um, I would never have a trajectory powerful enough to break it.

• 1:04:26Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  Cause I didn't make that glass ceiling. So I don't want to think about where it is. You know, it's been made by other people. So you just kind of have to have. You know, speed and run towards your end game and, you know, have a goal and be ambitious. And fuel that ambition every single day.

• 1:04:44Lewis Howes?

  What is the end game?

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  To have a legacy, I think. I want my um children to be proud of, you know, the the legacy that I've had. I wanna be, hopefully, you know, part of um, you know, the history books of entertainment where I may have contributed to the arts in some way um with the work that I have done or the work that I create or the work that I will do. So I wanna be able to, as a woman, you know, um leave a better world for the girls after us, like the women before me did for me. I don't think about voting today. I don't think about driving today. I don't think

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  about aspiring to have the same job as a man. And all of those fights um were fought by women that came before me. So it's my responsibility and our responsibility as a generation to leave it better for the next one. So those are broad strokes of my end games.

• 1:05:45Lewis Howes?

  And what, I mean, I'm sure you get this question a lot. I'm just curious because my audience is a lot of high achievers. They they're big dreamers. They're going after what they want. They're learning the skills, the tools to become more confident, more more giving, all those things. It sounds like you're doing everything all at the same time. How do you navigate intimacy, connection, love with, you know, you know, your husband, your family, your friends, the people that matter the most to you? How do you navigate relationships with such a busy, full plate?

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  It's not easy. Um, you know, there's not as much face time as you would possibly want, but I, when I made the deal with the devil about, you know, running at this fast pace many years ago, I realized that there would be sacrifices that are required. And um, you know, when you have, there's no free lunch in the world. And when you have ambitions, you've got to sort of pay for it. And um. But I overcompensate, or I try and compensate um with making sure even if I don't have FaceTime or if I've like for a very long time in my life, I missed um you know birthdays and Diwali and New Years and I would always be working and all I could do was apologize and my family

• 1:06:59Speaker 04

  always understood because you know I was I was working at something. But um I think that uh I I I made sure that I always call. I never forget birthdays. I will always call on a birthday. If I go to a city, even if I can't meet someone, my family, my friends, I'll make sure we FaceTime. We'll call. I'm I'm very, it made me very thoughtful about the people I love. I love loving the people I um that I care about. I love making them feel special and I love being empathetic. And I I I think it's very important um to leave the baggage of the job behind when you

• 1:07:41Speaker 04

  walk into your house and just be true to what you're feeling. I I think it's it's important to choose relationships when you're really busy because we can all be caught up in life. And you know, life is like a really fast river, you know, you don't know what the currents are going to be because it's just moving. You don't know what you're gonna bump into because it's just moving. But you have to choose to hold on to something when you wanna take a breath, right? Just like that, you have to choose to hold on to a relationship, whatever that might be with your children, with your family, with your parents. You have to make the time and you have to tell the people you love that you love them.

• 1:08:20Lewis Howes?

  I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in there. That review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

• 1:09:03Lewis Howes?

  And now it's time to go out there and do something great.