Develop a Superhuman Level of Self-Confidence and Re-Engage with your Imagination w/ Ed Mylett EP 1274

Ed Mylett is a highly successful entrepreneur who has blended his unique experiences with a diverse set of practical strategies that have made him one of the most sought-after inspirational speakers in the world today. With a strong desire to help people, Ed began sharing his inspirational and performance strategies live and online. In four short years, he amassed more than two million Instagram followers, wrote a best-selling book, and launched a popular weekly podcast, The Ed Mylett Show. Be sure to check out Ed's newest book, 'The Power of One More."In this episode, you will learn:How to gain superhuman self-confidence. How to operate from your imagination. How to adopt the ‘one-more’ philosophy. Why you should chase difficult, inconvenient things. For more, go to lewishowes.com/1274Andy Galpin on Weight Loss, Stress Management, and Reversing Your Age: 1247Dr. Joe Dispenza on Healing the Body and Transforming the Mind: 826Gabrielle Lyon on How Muscle is the Key to Living Longer: 1267 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  You are the only human being with your combination of gifts that you were given, whatever they are, and your experience. And real human beings help real human beings by being...

• 0:10Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. There's something unique about you, Ed, that's no one else... And I'm not saying this because you're here. I don't think I've said this to anyone on the show. There's something unique about you that I don't think I've ever experienced around anyone else. There's an essence, there's a presence, there's a power, a command, an authority, a humble confidence. There's like this essence about you.

• 0:55Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 0:56Lewis Howes?

  And I'm really curious, what do you think made you you? What were the elements growing up that made you all the things you are now? Was it the, you know, pre-13, kind of everything that happened with your parents? Was it stuff more from school? Was it a relationship that really kind of flipped these things on for you? What were the elements early on that made you this commanding, kind presence today?

• 1:23Ed Mylett?

  Well, thank you for that. I, uh, thank you. That's nice to hear. I, um, because by the way, I love people that have that combo. Like, I love people with a lot of self-confidence, a lot of humility. Because people with a lot of humility that have no self-confidence, you're kind of dragging them through life as a friend. Someone with all their self-confidence, no humility, they're going to burn out. They're going to make a mistake. They're not curious, they don't grow. I think that, I think even the reason I'm in the personal development space, why do I believe so much that people can change? I watched my dad do it. And then, in my case, I had to learn these things, man, to be like a baseline functioning person. So my default personality...

• 1:59Ed Mylett?

  Is insecure.

• 2:01Lewis Howes?

  Even today?

• 2:01Ed Mylett?

  Even today.

• 2:02Lewis Howes?

  Come on.

• 2:02Ed Mylett?

  Very much.

• 2:03Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 2:03Ed Mylett?

  Very much.

• 2:04Lewis Howes?

  How is that the fault? You wake up and you say, I'm a nobody, or what? What's the story?

• 2:08Ed Mylett?

  I lack this, I'm fooling everybody.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 2:11Ed Mylett?

  They really knew, you know. Uh, pretty, some imposter syndrome mixed with just like tremendous. I was bullied as a kid, my dad was an alcoholic, I wasn't a real big guy. The only thing, I wasn't good in school, the only thing I was good at was sports. A lot like with you, you were a great athlete. So, my default is tons of insecurity. So that's probably never gonna go away, the humility part. So the part that I've worked on really hard is the self-confidence part. And so I've got all this stuff in the book on those tips and what have I done to build it? Cause I had to get there just to get to baseline. And then I'm like, this stuff works. What if I refined it and made it my own and started to build these other strategies and stuff? So, the confidence part is a thing I'm always gonna have to work on.

• 2:55Lewis Howes?

  Even today, even with all the success and the, you know, the massive show and the big businesses and all the homes and everything that people see?

• 3:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. The truth is.

• 3:04Lewis Howes?

  What else do you need though, to feel more confident?

• 3:06Ed Mylett?

  I don't need other things, it's an internal game. I don't need other stuff. In other words, the, the stuff is really fleeting and temporary. So I don't need another, you know, I bought an island lately, you know that, right? Like, when I bought this island, it didn't give me, it didn't make me more confident. It just was something that I've always wanted to be able to do. But I, I, it's not stuff. What needs to happen for me is that I'm most confident when I'm living in my intention, which is to serve, which is to like, help other people. When I'm not doing that, um, Wayne Dyer, when I met him really, really young, told me, you're gonna change the world, Ed Milat. And I'm like, and he, then he, I'm sure he said this to a lot of people, but he complimented me. I met him on a beach. We watched the sun come up together. In Maui. Yeah, I was running on the beach, that's where he lived. Yeah, I was running on the beach and we.

• 3:50Lewis Howes?

  What was he like? I never met him.

• 3:52Ed Mylett?

  Incredible. So, we became a dear friend of mine, but I'm running, you know, you get up before the sun comes up. I'm running on this, I'd won this incentive trip. And there's this bald dude running towards me with his hairy back. I'll never forget this sweaty hairy back. And it was so long ago, cause I had a Sony Walkman on. And he had one, and he ran by me, I go, that was Wayne Dyer. And I said, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. And he had this deep voice like mine and he pulls it out and he goes, well, I doubt that.

• 4:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 4:17Ed Mylett?

  And he goes, I bet you changed your life. But he goes, how did I help you? And then he walked towards me and I get emotional like God's been so good to me. We sat on this beach together and watched the sun come up for about an hour and a half. And about an hour into it, he goes, "You're gonna change the world." And I'm sure he said this to a lot of people and he's like, "You're very talented. You're brilliant. You're a good communicator." And he goes, "And that's not the reason why." And he was writing a book at that time called "The Power of Intention."

• 4:45Lewis Howes?

  That's a great book.

• 4:46Ed Mylett?

  Great book.

• 4:46Lewis Howes?

  Incredible book.

• 4:47Ed Mylett?

  And he goes, "You really intend to help people." And he goes, "All these things with your father and your upbringing and all that, Ed, he goes, "That's all made you." And he goes, "You have such a heart to wanna help people." And he goes, "Would you do me a favor if we never meet again?" And we ended up meeting many times. I said, "Yeah." And he said, "Never link your confidence to your ability." "'Cause I know you struggle with your confidence. If it's predicated on your abilities or your achievements, you're always gonna be chasing it." He goes, "But if you'd link your confidence to your intentions..." "Man, do you have beautiful intentions." And that is something I knew about me. I know I have a good heart. And I've never forgotten that. So when I do a podcast or a speech, I just connect to my intent. And it's been the one thing that's brought me confidence. 'Cause if you said, "Hey, Ed, you gotta be confident 'cause you're great,

• 5:32Ed Mylett?

  or you got a house, or you have a plane." I go, "Yeah, but, yeah, but." But if you go, "You gotta be confident 'cause you have beautiful intentions to help people," I go...

• 5:41Lewis Howes?

  I might have to list you now.

• 5:42Ed Mylett?

  You might be right. And that's where my confidence comes from.

• 5:44Lewis Howes?

  So, as an athlete, I gain confidence from results. From actually getting the result of becoming better.

• 5:52Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, that's one way to get it.

• 5:54Lewis Howes?

  I was not good, and then I put in the effort. And all the mistakes or the failures or the feedback, what I like to call it, gave me the lessons and taught me how to get better to accomplish the result that I was looking for. Achieve the goal, win the game, or just improve my abilities. So what I'm hearing you say is, "Link, also link confidence to intention." Some people say, "Link it to the effort." Like the effort that you show up, that you just keep showing up. And others talk about the results. Should we be thinking about it?

• 6:23Ed Mylett?

  There's two, I have a whole, I call it the holy trilogy in the book of self-confidence.

• 6:27Lewis Howes?

  What is this?

• 6:28Ed Mylett?

  But the confidence trilogy is faith, have confidence. So if you're a person of faith, no matter what you believe in. It's amazing to me how people that believe in energy, quantum energy, or they believe in, they're a Christian like me, and I believe in both, by the way. But whatever their faith is, that they have it on Sunday. They have it in Bible study, or they have it when they get together with their friends or when they meditate. But somehow when they walk into a business meeting, they're alone. So why are you alone then, but you're not alone these other times? So I'm never alone. So that's number one. Number two is my intention. And third is my associations change my confidence. But here's the biggie. If you don't have self-confidence, here's what you have. You have a really bad reputation with yourself.

• 7:05Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 7:06Ed Mylett?

  You have built a habit of not keeping the promises you make to yourself. We've all heard this before, but there's a level. I have a book, a chapter in the book called "One More Standard." Here's how I built what I would call almost superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity. Think about that. Superhuman confidence in spite of my insecurity. And it's exactly what you just said. It's an effort play. If you don't have self-confidence, you've never kept the promises you make to yourself. Check that box. If you have self-confidence, you've started to keep the promises you make to yourself. If you want to have superhuman self-confidence, you keep the promises you make to yourself and one more. So if I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna work out and I'm gonna do 10 reps in the gym, I do one more. If I'm gonna do 45 minutes on the treadmill, I do one more. If I wanna make 10 contacts in a day, I do that and one more.

• 7:49Ed Mylett?

  If I'm gonna tell my daughter I love her every day, I'm gonna do that and one more. And so that higher standard, because in life, we don't get our goals, we get our standards long-term. And so if your standard is one more, what starts to happen is you go, I'm willing to do things other people aren't willing to do, and I combine that, that I have great faith, great associations, and I intend to help people. This is a formula to build wonderful self-confidence and never lack humility when you have it.

• 8:16Lewis Howes?

  So when did you learn this one more mindset? Was this from your dad or the honor? Was this?

• 8:20Ed Mylett?

  It's from my dad. So we talked about this, you know, a little bit earlier, but my dad had these couple theories he would always say to me. And so one was when he got sober, he gave it one more try. He was gonna stay sober one day at a time. And then my dad, there's no dreaming in my house. There's no like, my jet, you know, I've had, I've been blessed, like multiple airplanes, right, in my life. My jet was in almost walking distance of my dad's house. He's never been on any of them.

• 8:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 8:43Ed Mylett?

  And I would say to my dad, I would say, hey, let's go play golf in Maui. Let's go, there's these great golf courses in the ocean. And my dad would say, well, why would I go all the way to Maui to play golf with my favorite person, my son, when we can play here in Chino? It's not about there, I wanna be with my son. So this, my family had none of that stuff. But my dad knew I was a dreamer. And my dad would always say, You know, I was one decision away from changing my life the whole time. One choice. And he'd say, Eddie, you're not as far away from these dreams as you think you are. And I'd say, really, Dad? And he'd go, no, you're actually a lot closer than you think. But because you think it's so far away, you behave in accordance with that belief system and it always keeps it that far away from you.

• 9:24Lewis Howes?

  So how do we bring our dreams closer to us?

• 9:27Ed Mylett?

  The first thing is, that's a great question. The first thing is you need to believe and know that your one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one book, one thought, one something away from a completely different life. And when you know that, then you begin to look for them. And so in the second chapter of the book, I have a thing in the book called the matrix. And your matrix is your reticular activating system in your brain. It's the filter for your entire life. Okay? And this filter reveals to you the world that's in front of you. Again, an example of it is, I just, I like what Musk is doing. So I just bought a Tesla. I drove it here today.

• 9:59Lewis Howes?

  I got a Tesla too. Model X or what do you got?

• 10:01Ed Mylett?

  I got a Plaid.

• 10:01Lewis Howes?

  Okay, wow.

• 10:02Ed Mylett?

  A Plaid, it's a good one.

• 10:03Lewis Howes?

  Nice.

• 10:03Ed Mylett?

  And so I bought this Plaid and all of a sudden, man, everywhere I go, there's Teslas.

• 10:07Lewis Howes?

  You see them everywhere.

• 10:09Ed Mylett?

  I'm like, whoa.

• 10:09Lewis Howes?

  I see them everywhere.

• 10:10Ed Mylett?

  The other way, three lanes over, other side, they're like, freaking Tesla, this is crazy. They were always there. Why didn't I see them before? Because they weren't part of my RAS. So the key thing, I teach you in the book, how to slow down time and create the matrix of your life. When you make the Teslas of your life, those relationships, those meetings, those thoughts, those encounters, you can very easily do this. But there's a process of repeated visualization you do that's not complicated. It's chapter two of the book. And it will shift you. The other component too, I have a chapter in the book called become an impossibility thinker and a possibility achiever. Here's how most people's framework works. They don't have an RAS program, they're not intentional. So they keep getting, if the things most important to you are your worries, fears, anxieties, problems, bills, you will continue to have people, places and things revealed to you that confirm it.

• 10:54Ed Mylett?

  And if you operate out of your memory and your history, if this is your pattern, your framework, you will continue to find those things. You need to learn to operate out of your imagination and your dreams. This is a different framework for life. Imagination is different than dreaming. Imagination causes you to create dreams and thoughts that never happen. When you imagine something, you create a space. Once you have a thought, this is powerful. When you have a thought, you create a space that did not exist in the world before you had that thought. And that space is now exists. And the way your brain works and your life works and the universe works is, it tries to furnish that space, whether it's a negative or a positive thought. It starts to hear things it wouldn't hear. That's why like when you're in a crowded room and they say, "Louis", you can hear Louis auditorily over all the noise.

• 11:38Ed Mylett?

  Why? It's in your RAS. It's why you see the Tesla, okay? So, the key thing is being able to operate out of this imagination. Why is imagination so important? When you were a child, three, four, five years old, you were probably happier than you are right now. Why? Two reasons. A, you were closer to God. You had just been with God more recently. And two, you operated out of your imagination. You didn't operate out of a history and a memory because you didn't have one. And slowly over time, by the time you were 10, 11, 12 years old, loving people installed their limiting thoughts and beliefs, their software into you. Because most things in life are caught, not taught. You catch them.

• 12:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 12:15Ed Mylett?

  And so now you're starting to operate out of history and memory. And you repeat it and your RAS begins to see the things that reinforce that history and memory. And so you basically have the same life over and over again with a different cast of characters in a different environment, but the same emotions. You have the same emotional home. My dad used to say to me, every call, bro, till the day he died and I'm 50 years old, blah, blah, blah, whatever we're talking about. Last thing he would always say to me, "Be careful. Be careful." And I go-

• 12:45Lewis Howes?

  Careful with what?

• 12:45Ed Mylett?

  I don't know! I never knew! But what is that programming from the time you're eight years old? "Be careful. Hey, go to school. Be careful." So with that, it operated out of this fear thing, right? "Oh, I need to be careful. I need to be careful. But don't make this risk. Don't take that business decision. Don't start a podcast. Don't get on that stage and speak. Don't do this. Don't do that." You say that to an already unconfident, insecure person. He meant it lovingly. By the time I'm 50, worth hundreds of millions of dollars, "Be careful." He didn't even know he was saying it to me. But what was he doing? He was installing, God bless him, his limiting beliefs into me as a little boy. So a lot of these things that you believe, you were defenseless when you started to believe them. They were installed in you by loving people who were around you.

• 13:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 13:24Ed Mylett?

  And even though your life may look differently, your emotional home, the four, five, six emotions you experience pretty regularly, might be very familiar from your parents, one or two of them, right? And so you need to look at your emotional home.

• 13:35Lewis Howes?

  What's your most powerful emotion and the emotion that you wish you could let go of?

• 13:39Ed Mylett?

  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world. We will all do everything for love. If there were more love in the world, the way we treat one another, the way we express our thoughts, you know, you'll do anything for love, right? So, love is by far my most powerful emotion. It's like, like, I love you. And like, when I just saw you, we didn't just, like, people, we didn't just hug for like, one second.

• 14:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:01Ed Mylett?

  And you do this better than I do.

• 14:02Lewis Howes?

  I hold people, I make it uncomfortable because I just want to hug and love on people.

• 14:05Ed Mylett?

  But it's not uncomfortable, bro.

• 14:06Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 14:07Ed Mylett?

  Because the reason you're so successful is you truly do love people.

• 14:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 14:11Ed Mylett?

  And you come from that place. And I know we're bigger dudes and like, like, that's a beautiful expression of a man. A real man is capable of real love. That's a sign of real strength. So, that's the most powerful one. And then, for me, I know the emotion that I wish I didn't have, it's chaos.

• 14:27Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 14:28Ed Mylett?

  I-

• 14:28Lewis Howes?

  How often do you experience chaos?

• 14:30Ed Mylett?

  Less because I'm aware of it. But I'm gonna tell you, all the time till about five years ago, even when we first met. Why? I used to, I used to even say this, "Man, I operate great under chaos." "Man, you should see me operate under chaos." "Most people can't handle chaos." "I'm calm under pressure." Well, the reason for that was, I grew up in an alcoholic home. So, I'm very familiar with chaos. It became a very familiar emotion. And what we do is we gravitate towards the familiar emotions in our life, even if they're not ones that serve us. And I don't think there's negative or positive emotions, I say this in the book, there just are.

• 15:00Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 15:01Ed Mylett?

  Fear isn't negative. It, fear in abundance is negative. But some fear, being afraid to do this podcast, say, to some extent, causes us to prepare. So, a dose of it, it was given to us in the caveman days, so T-Rex didn't eat us, right? So, some fear is good, some anxiety is okay. Some frustration, some anger is appropriate. It's to the dosage level. And we get these four or five of them. For me, some chaos is okay, it's fun, it's exciting, it's exhilarating, right? But getting it every day, every week, every month, all the time. And so, how do you get rid of it? Well, one way you get rid of it is just be awareness. When you have an awareness of a thought, it loses its impact and power over you. It almost becomes like this, I'll do it, I'm like, I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm doing the chaos thing again. Everything's great right now.

• 15:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:45Ed Mylett?

  All the houses are paid off, my kids are happy, married to a great woman, got great friends. Friends, I'm doing the chaos thing again, aren't I? You dummy, you're doing it again. And it kind of loses its power over you. So I have a chapter in the book called One More Emotion, and how to take an inventory of the emotions you have. And so, yeah, man, mine's definitely love, and the one I don't want is chaos. Because chaos causes me to act out of anger and frustration. It can depress me.

• 16:08Lewis Howes?

  And your intentions are not going to be as, I guess...

• 16:10Ed Mylett?

  It's pure. It's a gateway emotion. Chaos is my gateway emotion to the ones I don't want. Chaos gives me stress. Chaos gives me anger. Chaos gives me frustration. Chaos gives me fear. So it's a gateway emotion.

• 16:22Lewis Howes?

  What is the result when you create from that space of chaos?

• 16:25Ed Mylett?

  It's funny. I have been, I have found the ability to externally create something pretty productive.

• 16:32Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 16:32Ed Mylett?

  But stay with me on this. But the process in getting there is destructive. The process in getting there is not beautiful. And I used to think, and a lot of successful people...

• 16:42Lewis Howes?

  Forcing your way to get the results.

• 16:43Ed Mylett?

  Almost through force.

• 16:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:45Ed Mylett?

  You know? And the, and I still do it sometimes. I'm thinking of a situation this week where I did it. And I used to think, well, that's a superpower, though, because I've created all these external...

• 16:54Lewis Howes?

  Look what I made.

• 16:55Ed Mylett?

  Look what I did.

• 16:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Ed Mylett?

  And I'm doing it because of that. The truth is, I did it in spite of it.

• 16:59Lewis Howes?

  You did.

• 17:00Ed Mylett?

  And there's a lot of things in our lives that we have linked to our formula, our recipe of success that we hold on to, that you've done in spite of those things, not because of those things.

• 17:09Lewis Howes?

  So you're 51 now, 52, 51? When you were 40,

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  on a scale of 1 to 10, of the self-confident happiness joy scale, 10 being like you loved yourself fully, you were peaceful, you had an abundant mindset, you were, had inner peace, you know, joy. 1 being you hated yourself, you were miserable, you're in chaos 24/7. Where were you on that scale at 40?

• 17:34Ed Mylett?

  Okay, the real answer is probably a 3.

• 17:37Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 17:37Ed Mylett?

  Of happiness. And, but if you met me, I could convince you that it was probably an 8.

• 17:44Lewis Howes?

  That you were super happy and you had it together.

• 17:45Ed Mylett?

  Probably a 3.

• 17:47Lewis Howes?

  And since your father passing, where are you now?

• 17:50Ed Mylett?

  Probably a 9.

• 17:51Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 17:52Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, and I no longer feel the need to convince you. Because I've learned that this has already existed within me. I didn't have to go get it. I just had to allow myself to experience it. And it took me a long time to treat myself in such a way that I allowed myself to feel these things that have always been there. I had them when I was a little baby boy. I just lost them along the way. In these patterns and programs that were installed in me and my experiences and I gotta share something with you, brother. That just dawned on me. I wrote this whole book. And two weeks ago, I had this, this is just for me and you, but everybody can hear it.

• 18:26Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 18:27Ed Mylett?

  And I've always tried to disqualify myself. I've always, you're not this.

• 18:32Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 18:33Ed Mylett?

  It always shocks people, even people that know me really well. They're like, not you. I have that, but there's no way you have it, right?

• 18:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you're too confident, too talented, too...

• 18:41Ed Mylett?

  And I don't know that I'm too talented, but I think I can fake it pretty well. And I disqualify myself because you know, the truth is that maybe for a while, everything that I got that was love when I was a child only came when I achieved something. So I started to conflate early on in my life, recognition and significance with love. In other words, my dad would love me if I hit the home run. My dad would love me if I get straight A's. And so then when I would feel these things. But something really amazing, and also like, I'm really big at holding myself. I love to beat myself up with mistakes I've made.

• 19:18Lewis Howes?

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• 20:03Lewis Howes?

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• 20:18Ed Mylett?

  I did this, I did that. I should have done this. I didn't do that.

• 20:21Ed Mylett?

  And I've always thought these mistakes, these weaknesses of mine disqualify me from being happy or helping people. And this amazing breakthrough, the one decision that changed my family forever is my dad's decision to get sober. And it changed my family forever. I'm talking to you because my dad made that decision. And I've always been so proud of my dad for that. But this is just two weeks ago. 3:15 in the morning, I wake up, I'm crying. And I wake Christiana up, I go, babe, someone helped dad. And she went, what honey? I said, someone helped dad. She goes, what do you mean? I said, babe, I never thought about this. In my dad's darkest, worst moment of his life.

• 21:03Ed Mylett?

  In some coffee shop or some room somewhere, some precious soul helped my dad.

• 21:08Lewis Howes?

  Reached out to him, talked to him.

• 21:11Ed Mylett?

  Talked to him and got him sober.

• 21:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 21:13Ed Mylett?

  And I said, babe, that's not the powerful part. And I have no idea who this person is, but I wonder if they know the difference they made in Max and Bella's, my children's lives, or your life, or the millions of people I've helped, that one decision they made. And she goes, oh my gosh. I said, I never thought about this beautiful human being. Always gave the credit to my dad, but some stranger helped him. And I said, babe, this is the bananas part. Do you know what qualified them to help my dad? Their messed up life. They were an alcoholic. They were a drug addict. Little did that person know, the things they were the most ashamed of, the biggest mistakes of their lives, when they were using drugs and drinking and stealing. That was qualifying them to change my dad's life. And all of us, we run around carrying these bags of, I'm not qualified because I made

• 21:58Ed Mylett?

  this mistake, I had this bankruptcy, this relationship didn't work, I did this thing you don't know about, I'm so ashamed of.

• 22:03Lewis Howes?

  And that's why you're qualified.

• 22:04Ed Mylett?

  That's the thing that qualifies you. The humanness in you. You are the only human being with your combination of gifts that you were given, whatever they are. And your experience. And real human beings help real human beings by being vulnerable and transparent, saying, "I know where you are. I've messed up worse."

• 22:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 22:24Ed Mylett?

  "I've made greater mistakes. I felt more s-" I know that depression. I know that anxiety. I know that shame. I know what that feels like." That beautiful soul who was a drug addict and alcoholic, they didn't know all those mistakes they're making were leading them out of their heart. And they finally got to a point where their intention was to help my father.

• 22:44Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:45Ed Mylett?

  In the lowest moment of his life, they changed my dad's life. And they're changed mine, and maybe me and you are changing a few today because of that person's mess.

• 22:54Lewis Howes?

  It's crazy.

• 22:54Ed Mylett?

  Is that crazy?

• 22:55Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing.

• 22:56Ed Mylett?

  I know. I know. Love them and thank them.

• 22:59Lewis Howes?

  That's amazing, man.

• 23:03Lewis Howes?

  Where's the biggest wound in the last few years that you've had to realize still wasn't fully healed for you? That if it was on a deeper mending process, you'd be able to go to the next level? Is there something that has come up that you've realized or paid attention to that you're like, "I thought I healed that fully, but it's still kind of there and maybe it's holding me back from more love, more peace, more service, more..."

• 23:27Ed Mylett?

  I'm great at giving love to people.

• 23:31Ed Mylett?

  I've never, very rarely, ever allowed myself to receive it.

• 23:34Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 23:35Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 23:36Lewis Howes?

  Even with your family or with friends or?

• 23:38Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. I love them, but me allowing myself just to go, "They love me." I've never said that out loud till right now.

• 23:47Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 23:48Ed Mylett?

  Once I'm really worth it, then I'll get around to having it. I'll get it, but I don't have it yet.

• 23:52Lewis Howes?

  What would it take for you to be really worth it?

• 23:54Ed Mylett?

  Well, that's the thing is like, there's that line keeps moving.

• 23:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:59Ed Mylett?

  And so that line keeps moving. I want to do that.

• 24:01Lewis Howes?

  I'm worth a million, okay, but not till 10 million, till 100 million, till...

• 24:05Ed Mylett?

  The line moves. And what where it's been healing for me lately is like...

• 24:10Ed Mylett?

  I'm worthy of it now.

• 24:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:12Ed Mylett?

  I've always been worthy of it. And the truth is, the right type of love has no conditions on it. Like, my children, I love them unconditionally. There's, there's literally nothing either one of them could do to make me love them less or more. And I tell them that all the time. You get this or that. I can't love you more and I can't love you less. My daughter could, worst case scenario, I mean, never, she could literally end someone else's life. And I'd be like, alright, um, where is it? Let's bury the body. You know, like, I mean, like, that's, you love your children unconditionally. And then I realized something in my faith. God loves me even more. He's always loved me even more. He's made me in His image and likeness. And for all of you that are listening to this, you were born to do something great with your life, but that's not the condition to receive love.

• 24:56Ed Mylett?

  All this achievement, you and I are both about a max out. You're about greatness. The highest form of maxing out and greatness is to give and receive love.

• 25:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. But you didn't receive it that well.

• 25:06Ed Mylett?

  No. And I think lately, I'm like, I feel you. Thank you. I accept that. When someone compliments me, I always go, yeah, but, you know, you're... And lately, I go, I'll take that. Thank you. I'll take that. Thank you. And at first, it even felt a little insincere, disingenuous. But I've had many more moments the last, since my dad died. Candidly, since my dad died, I'm like, I robbed myself of that. And I'll tell you what happened. Right before my dad died, we had a conversation. And my dad said to me, um, I'm so proud of you.

• 25:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:40Ed Mylett?

  And I love you so much. And he goes, I said, Dad, he goes, no, I want you to listen to me. And he said this to me, he goes, I can't believe God gave you to me as my son.

• 25:50Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 25:50Ed Mylett?

  And I felt, I felt loved. And I went, he's felt that way all of his life. Why did I wait till his last breaths to receive it? And I'm not gonna do that again in my other relationships. I'm not gonna wait till they're gone. My dad's impact, you and I were both talking about our dads. My dad's impact is far greater on me now than it was when he was gone. And you don't need to wait for that. You don't need to wait around for that in your life. You can receive it now. And I allow myself to receive it much more often now.

• 26:18Lewis Howes?

  There's probably nothing that you regret, that you would change differently in your past about situations, because it's made you who you are. But let's just say you were going back to before you got married.

• 26:29Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 26:31Lewis Howes?

  Is there anything that you would do differently? With yourself, in the relationship, or as you were starting to have kids, about emotions, connection, intimacy, receiving, giving love, is there anything you'd change?

• 26:43Ed Mylett?

  Tons. The biggest one is my lack of presence.

• 26:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:47Ed Mylett?

  I was always in the future, which is a good place to be. I'm not a guy who's in the past a lot.

• 26:51Lewis Howes?

  Because then you're innovating, you're resourceful, you're creating something from nothing. It's powerful.

• 26:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I'm not a past guy, but I'm a future guy. But the truth is, the best people are able to be in the present and still operate, be in the future, but be present in the present time. And I don't, I didn't do that very well. There's a lot of times, man, when my kids would do things, and now Christine goes, "Do you remember when Bella?" And I'll go, "I don't remember." And she goes, "But you were actually there." But I wasn't. So would I change that? Yes. I should have given myself the gift of being more present where I was. And I do that very well now. I'm very much a present person.

• 27:26Lewis Howes?

  You turn your phone off after you get home, and you put it in your car, or whatever you do. You'd spend 10 minutes closing things out, and then you go in the house and you connect, yeah.

• 27:34Ed Mylett?

  I do, yeah. I have strategies for it because I know me. And then anger.

• 27:39Lewis Howes?

  You were angrier then?

• 27:40Ed Mylett?

  Way more. I'm an intense dude. In fact, people who see me now on social that knew me back then, I'd be like, "Wow, man, like, you've really changed." I just thought that my intensity and even what moved into anger was strength, because I saw it in my dad.

• 27:53Lewis Howes?

  Because it got results, certain results.

• 27:55Ed Mylett?

  And I think I modeled it a little bit. My dad was a yeller, when he was, before he was sober. And even a little bit after, truth be told. And my dad would operate, my dad could go to anger pretty quickly.

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:06Ed Mylett?

  And I used to think that's what a man did. I've watched my dad in many physical fights, many angel games. I watched my dad inside of the freeway. I watched, we came out of church one Sunday, St. Dennis Catholic Church in Diamond Bar. Some guy said something my dad didn't like in the donut line. And we got in the car, and my dad calls the guy over to the car, and he says, "Hey, what did you say?" Bam! And headbutts the guy at church in the parking lot, in front of all the other parishioners, right? So I think I modeled a little bit. I didn't do anything like that, but I modeled, hey, anger, men. Men can do that thing, you know, don't disrespect me, you know, that whole thing.

• 28:43Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:43Ed Mylett?

  And so I had a lot of that when I was young, like, don't, you know, I'm going to assert my authority.

• 28:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:49Ed Mylett?

  And as I got older, it's almost become funny to me. And what it be, what the change for me was having kids. I'm like, if someone ever spoke to my daughter or my son, the way that I have talked to some of these people that have been around me. And for someone like you that knows me now, they'll be like, there's just no way, man. No, man, I really did. I really said things I regret. I really did things that were out of anger too often. And, and I don't like that guy. He hasn't been around for a while, but every once in a while he'll rear his head.

• 29:16Lewis Howes?

  A little bit.

• 29:17Ed Mylett?

  He can be there once in a while, but.

• 29:18Lewis Howes?

  What makes you angry today?

• 29:20Ed Mylett?

  Anytime I see someone operating out of anger, I think they're afraid.

• 29:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:24Ed Mylett?

  And so for me, it's, uh, when do I get angry? I got angry today. Today is a, I said recently I had one of those episodes. So my show got posted today and someone on my team posted it incorrectly and it wasn't on YouTube.

• 29:36Lewis Howes?

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:37Ed Mylett?

  Okay. And so my default when that happened was anger. Who did this? What happened?

• 29:42Lewis Howes?

  I know that feeling, right?

• 29:43Ed Mylett?

  Of course. But what was I really? I was afraid. I was afraid the show wouldn't do well. I was afraid it would be embarrassing. I was afraid the guest was going to be upset with me. So when I operate out of anger, it's always fear. I'm always afraid. Well, what about back in the day when you're hard on people? I was afraid I was going to be broke. I was afraid we were going to lose the business. I was afraid this situation was going to happen. I was afraid someone was going to shame me, so I'm going to get in front of it and be angry with them. So for me, anger is just a manifestation of fear. And when I see it in other people, men or women, I have empathy for them because I know they're afraid.

• 30:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:14Ed Mylett?

  And I really do believe that. I think anger is always a result of some type of fear.

• 30:18Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. What do you think is the biggest things that hold all of us back from achieving our dreams faster? Three biggest things?

• 30:26Ed Mylett?

  Well, one is the proximity to it. We really do believe it's further away. Like, we honestly believe this thing is like a 20-year thing. And so because we believe that, we keep it there and we miss out on these, you know, possibilities in our life. The second one is I have a chapter in the book called on equanimity. I say one more, um, level of equanimity. Equanimity is our ability to be calm under duress. So, I said earlier, slow things down. The greatest athletes that we admire can slow things down under pressure. They're calm. If you think of a Tom Brady, who's everybody's example in this age is that when it's the noisiest and the crowds, the craziest, and it's the playoffs, and it's the highest stakes. For the average person, everything speeds up and they lose control. Good friend of both of ours, Michael Chandler, fought this last weekend. It's a great win. Great win.

• 31:09Ed Mylett?

  And normally, Michael, he's one of the greatest fighters in the world. But when he has been in duress in some of his fights, things speed up and he starts to do this brawl mode. And I watched him in this fight. Things started to not go his way. And he slowed things down and he started to show some equanimity under duress. And that's when things slow down and we can perform at our best. So the second thing I would say is equanimity. The third thing is I have a whole chapter in the book on the way you manage time. And this is just, there's so many heavy things in the book, but the idea that still people manage a day in 24 hours is hilarious to me. That this archaic concept that a day is 24 hours is bananas. Like, the 24-hour day was just made up by somebody about the sun and the earth going

• 31:51Ed Mylett?

  around each other, building, you know, 100 million years ago or whatever it was. And this is before there was electricity. There were cars. There was the internet. There was a smartphone. So you're gonna tell me I should measure my day the same duration of time? I calibrate time. When the sane dude didn't have the internet? Well, I used to have to do a project in high school. We'd have to go to the encyclopedia, go down to the library and research for hours. My kids can Google something in 10 seconds now. Again, I can text message you instead of mailing you something that takes a month to get to you. So I've shrunk my days. My days now are from, my first day is from 6:00 a.m. to noon. In that day, it's called a mini-day. 6:00 a.m. to noon, I get into that day whatever I want. Some days are chill, some days are faith, some days are working out. But the amount, we've all had that morning where we go, I got done more this morning than I have in three weeks. I know. Right?

• 32:36Ed Mylett?

  So why can't that be every day? And it is, I can tell you. So my first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. At noon, the clock goes off. We're in day two. And I reevaluate really quickly for five seconds. What just happened? What did I do? What do I need to do more of? Next day is noon to 6:00 p.m. I'm gonna get the same amount of business, contacts, faith, fun, whatever it is, in that ecstasy, in that day. Third day is 6:00 p.m. to midnight. It's a third day. This gives me three days in one day. I get 21 days a week. If I get 21 days a week, you get seven. Stack that up over a month, a year, five, 10 years, I'm going to smoke you in life. And I've bended and manipulated time so that my accountability is different. It's not the end of a day or end of a week or end of a month. It's at the end of a basically a six or eight hour window.

• 33:18Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting.

• 33:19Ed Mylett?

  And other people respond to you differently because what is scarce is valuable. People begin to respond to you differently when your time is more scarce, when it's more precious. And so it's completely changed my life the last 25 years, running mini days as opposed to 24 hour days.

• 33:34Lewis Howes?

  Huge.

• 33:34Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, so those three things.

• 33:36Lewis Howes?

  You're probably one of the best enrollers I've ever met. Enrollment for me is the key to really accomplishing your dreams. Enrolling yourself that you're confident enough and have the skills and the tools to develop what you need to to have what you want, the relationship, the career, the business, the life, the health. But also enrolling others in your vision, in your dreams. Where did you learn this skill of enrollment? Of saying, I've got this idea, it's in the future. Most people think it's 30 years away, I think it's three months away, which seems impossible. And I'm going to call these five people and convince them essentially, but enroll them in a vision that they didn't even know was a possibility in their mind.

• 34:18Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 34:19Lewis Howes?

  You're going to speak this vision into them, into their souls, and then they're going to say, yes, vote for you, sign up for something, listen to something, interview with you, pay you to speak, or whatever it might be, give you lots of money, all these different things. How did you learn the art of enrollment?

• 34:35Ed Mylett?

  Okay, that's a great question. And in the book, I have this whole chapter on leadership and vision, but like, you ask the best questions, bro. I love you. So, two ways. One, a couple of very special coaches that I had in my life that were great visionaries. And for some reason, I've always been fascinated with great orators. So I did my dissertation in college on Dr. King. Whatever your politics are, I think two of the great orators of all time are Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy. Both of the different parties. I just think they're tremendous orators and they were great at painting these big visions. And then I read a book called Selling the Dream a long time ago, written by a guy named Guy Kawasaki. And he's the guy that basically helped like Apple with Macintosh.

• 35:14Lewis Howes?

  Selling the dream?

• 35:15Ed Mylett?

  Selling the dream. And um, he's a really unique dude.

• 35:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I've met him a few times.

• 35:19Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, and so what the book's premise was this is that great leaders are evangelical about their cause. They're evangelists. And they do that through public preaching, but they sell a big enough dream so that the dreams of all the people within their stewardship can fit inside the one they're selling. So even for you with this whole media empire you're building, one of your big roles, man, is to sell a big enough dream for everybody that gets around you. Guests, vendors, advertisers, the guys that work with you, the ladies that work with you. That it is so big and so compelling that all of their dreams and visions for their life can sit in, fit inside that one.

• 35:51Lewis Howes?

  Fit there, yeah.

• 35:52Ed Mylett?

  And then the key thing is to repeat it over and over and over. Most leaders get tired of hearing themselves talk. And you know what, and by the way, this is true as being a mother or a father. As a father, my job is to sell a big, we're gonna do something awesome as a family. I know, Dad. No, we're gonna do something awesome. You're amazing. You're a superstar. I know, Dad. Doesn't matter. I'm telling them over and over and over again. Most leaders think, I gotta say something new to these old people. But the truth is, you need to say something old to new people. Keep saying it over and over and over again. Sell it big. Look at all the people you admire in your life. They're visionaries who are evangelical about their mission and their cause. Not necessarily the money or the, the cause. What's the cause? Think about Oprah Winfrey. Think about Martha Stewart. Think about Dr. King. Think about Mother Teresa.

• 36:37Ed Mylett?

  Think about any leader. Think about Steve Jobs. You watch old videos of Steve Jobs? He wasn't selling megabytes. I've asked, I've asked, I've asked Wozniak several times. Tell me about Steve. What was he like? I said, by the way, why did you name the thing Apple? Just curious, man. What a weird name for a company. Back when companies weren't even, he goes, well, you know, and, and Wozniak's is almost like a savant. He goes, oh, well, really, two reasons, Ed. A, came early in the phone book, so we wanted people to find us early. And Steve said, Apple's made him happy.

• 37:07Ed Mylett?

  And so great evangelists learn to link their cause and their mission to people's bliss. You can look at an old YouTube video of Steve Jobs and he's rolling out a Mac. He's not like, "Here's the speed." He's like, "Isn't she beautiful?" Wouldn't you like, "Look at her curves." Wouldn't she make you happy to take her home? He's selling happiness in an inanimate object. McDonald's, number one seller of food in the history of planet Earth.

• 37:29Lewis Howes?

  The Happy Meal.

• 37:30Ed Mylett?

  Happy Meal, number one holder of real estate. They don't sell food, they sell happiness. Their number one meal's a happy meal. Their mascot's a clown. It has nothing to do with food. But they're in the evangelical dream selling happiness business. What's the number one thing they sell in there? Coca-Cola. You get a Coke and a smile. Happiness, so great entrepreneurs, great parents, great people have this energy where they're selling you a dream that's big enough that you can fit inside it and the dream at the end is happiness. That's the formula.

• 38:04Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man. So why do you think people are stuck on, "I'll never be able to be good enough to accomplish what I want, the dreams are not possible for me." What keeps them stuck though?

• 38:15Ed Mylett?

  What keeps them stuck is this false belief system that their past is their future. So they're operating out of an operating system of their memory and their past.

• 38:22Lewis Howes?

  So how do we let go of the past?

• 38:24Ed Mylett?

  Well, we have to create a compelling future. In other words, you're not going to let go of one thing until you've grabbed on to the next.

• 38:29Lewis Howes?

  You have to create a new future.

• 38:30Ed Mylett?

  You have to create a future in it. And by the way, it's okay that you don't believe all of it initially. As long as it becomes repetitive and we begin to take steps towards it, right? So it's, it's, for me, I still have stuff from my past that's there. But this future is so big. And by the way, some things are okay. People go, "Why do you still work so hard?" Well, I want to create a... There's still a little part of me that doesn't want to be broke. There's still a little bit of fear.

• 38:53Lewis Howes?

  But you're not broke.

• 38:54Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, but you've interviewed some of the most successful actors, entertainers, so have I. And you get them privately and sometimes on your show they go, "You afraid it's gonna go away?" And I go, "Yeah, I am, that's why I work so hard." So there's an element of that that's okay. It's creating this vision for your life that's compelling. But there's this other thing. And I love Think and Grow Rich. It's one of my favorite books of all time. Next to my scripture is my favorite book. But you don't just think and get rich. You have to do things. And by the way, rich can mean more bliss, more happiness, more peace. But you don't just get those things by thinking. There's some things you have to do. But the most powerful part of Think and Grow Rich, man, is he has this part, he says, "Can you survive the temporary?" And if you can survive the temporary, he says, "On the other side of temporary pain..."

• 39:36Ed Mylett?

  You get introduced to your other self. And that other self, he doesn't say this, but that other self produces that other life. And so here's what happens for most of us. We think everything's permanent. And because we think it's permanent, we make permanent decisions based on temporary conditions. Even our bodies, other than our souls, are temporary. I was with my dad, holding his hand, when his body ceased to exist anymore. His soul exists still. But if your body isn't permanent, your problem isn't, your pain isn't, you need to create a different relationship with pain in your life. The idea that you're going to avoid pain, I have a chapter in the book called "One More Inconvenience." Chase difficult inconvenient things.

• 40:15Lewis Howes?

  Like what? Like what is something you're chasing that's inconvenient?

• 40:17Ed Mylett?

  In a given day, the phone call you don't want to make. The meeting you don't want to have. Driving out here, there's a friend of mine who I'd like to help me with the book. It's incredibly uncomfortable phone call for me. It's the thing I don't want to do today. I don't want to bother them. It's inconvenient. And for me in my life, the inconvenient thing on the page is the one that now jumps off the screen at me that I must do. For most people, their relationship with the pain and the inconvenience is to avoid it.

• 40:41Lewis Howes?

  Avoid as much as possible.

• 40:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, but if you could say to yourself, "On the other side of this is this other self." And so whatever your pain is right now, relationships just ended, financially, something that's difficult for you to do. Maybe you're trying to lose weight, whatever it might be. On the other side of that temporary pain is the other self. I have a thing I gotta say to you last minute on this topic. In the book, I have this part about pinata. And what most of us as humans don't do is we don't understand compound pounding. The relentless pursuit of something, you're making what I call invisible progress in your life. Like your show has gone boom. And everyone goes, "Wow, Lewis went from 400,000 to millions of subscribers. He's the number one guy." That didn't just happen this year.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  This is our 10th year.

• 41:23Ed Mylett?

  You were compound pounding on this sucker when no one was doing this.

• 41:26Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 41:27Ed Mylett?

  But here's the pinata thing. I go to this party, it's five-year-olds. I didn't even want to go to the party, it's five-year-old kids. Like, what am I doing here? But as a good friend. They have a pinata, we've all been to them. First kid gets up, hits the heck out of the pinata like a hundred times. No candy comes out. Next kid gets up, whack, whack, whack, nothing. Next kid, whack, whack, whack. These three now quit, they're gone in other part of the party. There's three or four kids left, everyone's losing interest. Everyone's pounding on this thing. What they didn't know is each of those blows was breaking down the pinata, although there was no evidence it was true. The last boy gets up, I swear, actually it's a little girl. Last girl gets up, she goes, wham, hits it one time, bam, all the candy comes out. And everyone celebrates. In people's lives, so was it her blow that broke the pan? No, it was the cumulative shots. Most people don't wait around for the candy.

• 42:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 42:12Ed Mylett?

  They quit before the candy comes out of their relationship, of their body, of their business, of their bliss, of their meditation. It takes time, but you're making invisible progress. If you ever start to get down or know what to do, give yourself credit for the compound pounding you're doing. You're not sticking around long enough for the candy to come out. And that's what you need to be doing if you're gonna change things.

• 42:33Lewis Howes?

  What's the most inconvenient thing you had to do in the last, I don't know, 10 years? That was like, uh, that created the biggest breakthrough in your business or life?

• 42:43Ed Mylett?

  This, being a public person.

• 42:45Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 42:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, speaking about-

• 42:47Lewis Howes?

  Cause you didn't do this for a long time.

• 42:48Ed Mylett?

  Never.

• 42:49Lewis Howes?

  You resisted it for, until like five years ago, right?

• 42:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, about five, six years ago. This, um, when you're so insecure and you're so shy, which I know is still weird for people to know because I can be, when I'm with a friend.

• 43:01Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 43:02Ed Mylett?

  You get this, but I'm really introverted. And, um, like I'm on the road, I get room service. You know, I, I stay in. If I was at a mall and we went to high school together, I would love to say hello to you. I'm probably gonna duck into a store and hide just because I, I don't know. It's not that I don't love it, I do. I remember, I was just saying this to someone coming out here today. I, oh, Rob Deardick and I were talking, Rod driving out here. And he goes, man, that's a lot of work having a book. And I said, yeah, and I go, but you know what, bro? I remember when no one wanted to read what I had to write.

• 43:29Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 43:30Ed Mylett?

  So I'm really, really grateful for it. At the same time, that part of expressing myself and being open and being vulnerable. And by the way, I do it in droves now. I fully embrace. If you watch my social media, me, I'm like, hey man, I'm having a bad day. You know, this is not one of these. This is a day I'm not doing crap that's in my book. You know, I didn't do anything that's in the book today. And so I, uh, I've embraced it fully and I love it, but the most difficult thing for sure was expressing myself publicly and public speaking, anything public, public, public. And yet I'm, you know.

• 44:02Lewis Howes?

  You're an incredible public speaker. One of the best.

• 44:04Ed Mylett?

  Thank you. I, I, I thank you. And it was usually on the most inconvenient thing, on the other side of it is not just your other self, but your greatest gift is revealed to you. And so for me, most of my greatest gifts have been revealed of me doing the really uncomfortable inconvenient thing. On the other side of it, I meet this version of me. I'm like, ah, the whole time I could have been a really good speaker. This thing I was the most afraid of, that I thought I sucked the most at, might be one of my greatest gifts. And it's nuts.

• 44:34Lewis Howes?

  I get a lot of this from you, like overcoming the fears, the insecurities, the dreaming. This stuff is what excites me. But a lot of people also wanna learn how to make a lot of money. Or they wanna learn how to build their business, or they wanna learn how to accelerate the growth financially, right? They wanna get out of a scarcity mindset into an abundance mindset financially. What would you say if you could only share three things that you could do? Or if you could take away everything else and you can only do three things to build a business or generate wealth? You had to strip away all the other skills or assets that you had, but these three things you could only do to get you as much as you possibly wanted, what would that be for you?

• 45:16Ed Mylett?

  Okay, the first thing is that you have to identify what you're great at doing and stop trying to play life at the things that you're mediocre at doing. So, I know what I'm good at doing. And there's a very limited group, so it made it easy to pick from. It's not like I had 80 things. I'm good at like really two things. I've made hundreds of millions of dollars with these two things. And ironically, let me say this to you also. That thing you're great at may have been born out of your biggest pain.

• 45:39Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely.

• 45:39Ed Mylett?

  So, and this is a gift that you have as well, but one of my major gifts is my ability to read people and to be present with them. Why? I had an alcoholic dad.

• 45:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:49Ed Mylett?

  When he would come through that front door, I had three little sisters and a mom. And this five-year-old little boy would have to look up at his hero. Is he drunk or sober? Is he walking? Is he slurring? Is his tie tied correctly or is it loose? How's he moving? How's he talking? And if it was drunk dad, I need to get my sisters upstairs and mom should go take a shower. If it was sober dad, we're great. But I would have to read this man. And so that allowed me to learn to be present. You know, it's a terrible way to learn to do it, but I did. Then the second skill would kick in. I can talk. I would grab his hand. And my sisters would go upstairs and say, Daddy, I hit a homerun in the baseball game today. I got a 90 on my spelling test. How was your day? What did you do? And I would talk and change his state.

• 46:33Ed Mylett?

  And as I grew up, those two gifts have made me a lot of money in business. My ability to be present and listen, my ability to talk. So what are your gifts? What are two or three? It could be your nurturing skills, your intellect, your problem solving, your intensity, your passion, your calmness, your peace, your humor, whatever it is. The second thing that I would say is that you have to get into business of truly caring about people. I know that sounds real generic, but people matter, things don't. When I worked at the orphanage and I walked into the orphanage that changed my life, and I know you know that story. My little boys were eight to 10 years old. Here's what they wanted from me. I want everyone to hear this very carefully, get nothing else out of the show than this. If you only get one thing. These boys needed someone to love them, care about them. Here's a big one that almost no one does for another human being.

• 47:18Ed Mylett?

  Believe in them. And then just show them how to do better. Yeah. We say it again, love, care, believe, and show them how to do better. When I left the orphanage and went into business, I figured out they weren't unique.

• 47:30Ed Mylett?

  Every human. Ed, how do you coach the top politicians or CEOs? Love them, care about them, believe in them. And then show them how to do a little bit better at whatever it is. So that's number two. And then the third thing is you have to become obsessed. You have to become obsessed. This has to become an obsession of yours. You know, our obsessions become our possessions. And the truth of the matter is that most of you don't understand the effort, the time, the focus, the obsessiveness that's required to do something great with your life. You want to do something great, you better be great at it. Greatness rises. So if you can get really good at those three things, listen, why are you so good at this? Why is it so... You're great at this. The whole idea of greatness is the concept of the show. But you have to get great and you have to be intentional, you have to be obsessed.

• 48:14Ed Mylett?

  And if people knew behind the scenes, this seems very easy, but I know your schedule. I know what you've put into this. I know what the time is, I know what the relentless pace is, I know what the focus is, and how much you think about it. I know this has to be something that's just infectious and when people get around you, that emanates and there's an energy and there's like, this person's just gonna will this to happen. And when you have that, you have to be cognizant of your energy. You're always making people feel something, so take control of what they're feeling. And so, I think just most people dramatically underestimate the amount of obsessive, crazy, relentless focus it takes to be great at something. And then they go, "Whoa, I don't want to be that out of balance or controlled." Then you don't want to be great. Because there's gonna be a period of your life, not out of balance, but where some things take priorities over others. That's not a lack of balance.

• 48:59Ed Mylett?

  Nothing's like this all of the time. And by the way, the hardest working you've ever been, the most crazy focus you've ever been, was the happiest you've ever been in your life. You go back, well, when I was studying for my master's degree, whatever, you're like, "Weren't you crazy focused, you were busy all the time." If you're a mother and you're carrying this baby and it's the hardest thing you've ever do is carry this baby, plus you had a job and you're bringing this person along, it's the happiest times of your life. Or when you're the most, you feel out of control, you're the most obsessed, is when you're the happiest. It's this just flawed belief that if I do nothing, if I just have, "Ah, I'm gonna be super happy." You weren't... There's plenty of "ahs." I meditate every morning, I pray every morning, it's what gives me the energy and clarity of mind to do something great.

• 49:42Ed Mylett?

  But this notion that that brings bliss, that nothingness, doing nothing, expand, no expansion of your being, no contribution, is gonna make you happy? This is a flawed belief. You're literally moving from the very things that will make you happy. This notion that you not growing

• 49:59Ed Mylett?

  And expanding, you not contributing, you not evolving. Your spirit was born, all the cells in your body regenerate themselves. Your digestive tract is brand new every six months to a year. Your lung tissue regenerates it. Your skeletal system regenerates about every six to eight years. Like you're constantly being reborn all the time internally. So externally and in your heart and your soul and your spirit and your brain, you should be as well. These are the things that make us happy, not not just doing nothing.

• 50:28Lewis Howes?

  Right, having a purpose, having a mission and intention.

• 50:31Ed Mylett?

  It's what gets you up, it's what you were born for. That mission, by the way, may be to to serve other people and to to bring peace to them. Great, but have something.

• 50:40Lewis Howes?

  I mean, you're at a stage right now, fifty one, you're going into the the fifty's decade. You've accomplished so much, you've, you know, made so much, you've got the homes, the. I've been to a lot of your homes, I've been in a plane of yours, I've seen the lifestyle. It's an amazing lifestyle that you've created for yourself. You had nothing, you had a vision in your mind, and then you got yourself to that vision.

• 51:00Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 51:02Lewis Howes?

  What excites you for this next decade? What are you thinking about now that you have everything externally, let's say? I'm sure you want to create more and build more, but what is the main mission for the next nine years of this decade?

• 51:14Ed Mylett?

  I want people, bro, I'm so glad you said this. I believe all this stuff's connected. I'm not like this is Zen entrepreneur, but sometimes I come across that way. I believe entrepreneurs and business people in general are the change agents in the world. I don't believe it's going to come from a political movement. I I believe that entrepreneurs like ourselves are the people that are going to change the world. And I believe the planet's at a tipping point. And I think that we're trending in a direction where we're people, so many people feel invisible. So many people feel that they lack something.

• 51:48Ed Mylett?

  There's a lack of kindness and gentleness and love, particularly expressed by business people.

• 51:56Ed Mylett?

  Business people in general, the last thirty years have contributed to this in a major way. The brutal nature of business, the cutthroat nature of it. And I think the next ten years that entrepreneurs, hopefully people like myself that are in thought leader space, can begin to show people that entrepreneurs are the ones who can bring the most love and change and solutions to people's lives. And for me, because I do have this platform, I want everyone to feel seen. I want people to know you do matter. That person, that alcoholic and drug addict that helped my dad mattered, big time.

• 52:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 52:28Ed Mylett?

  And you matter. And we need more people to come to you and say, you matter, and here's the actual reasons why you matter. It's not just a saying, you matter because of this. And I want to give people the tools and the resources to do it. I really would love to think that when I'm done, that all of us collectively have turned the corner on this way we treat one another in the world.

• 52:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 52:48Ed Mylett?

  Concerns me so deeply, man, that my experience every single day with most people is that we have a lot in common. And that we really do want to love and care for one another. And that sometimes success gets in the way of that. The financial pursuit gets in the way of it. Some of these thought leader entrepreneurs that are so aggressive about money, money, money, money, money. And I don't mind that because I think that that money can do a lot of good. But I believe there's a more beautiful and elegant way to get there. I don't think business has to be brutal. I think that there's an elegant and beautiful way to create wealth in your life and bliss that there's not a lot of examples of, and I intend to be one of those examples.

• 53:31Lewis Howes?

  And for those that want to become more entrepreneurial, but maybe have that fear of believing in themselves, would you say there's a shift in the mindset between scarcity and abundance when it comes to money? Like, do you remember a time when you didn't have any?

• 53:44Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 53:45Lewis Howes?

  And then it started to shift and it started to really roll? Was there like a shift in the mindset or what?

• 53:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I was raised thinking that wealthy people got their money kind of through some ill-gotten means. And that, you know, that maybe it had to be a little bit cutting corners or shady or something to get money.

• 54:01Lewis Howes?

  Some illegal stuff or whatever, yeah.

• 54:03Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, just, you know, maybe just hurt people to get it, is what I thought. And so, yeah, I started to have, when I started to make some money, I used to, Christiane and I, when we were kids, we actually live on the actual beach I used to walk on with my wife when we were in high school.

• 54:15Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty cool.

• 54:15Ed Mylett?

  I know, isn't that crazy?

• 54:16Lewis Howes?

  In Laguna?

• 54:17Ed Mylett?

  In Laguna. And I would say, babe, I'm gonna get you one of these houses someday.

• 54:21Ed Mylett?

  And and she goes, you will? I go, yeah. How? I don't know yet, but I'm gonna get you one of these houses. I would ask my dad, I go, Dad, who are these people that live in these ocean? Who are they? Like Martians?

• 54:31Lewis Howes?

  On a cliff over the ocean.

• 54:32Ed Mylett?

  Who are they? My dad would go, I don't know, but man, I wonder how they got there. You know, I don't know. And then what I would do is I'd go touch my dream once in a while. So like on a weekend, I'm a big believer.

• 54:43Lewis Howes?

  I love to do this.

• 54:44Ed Mylett?

  You you move towards what you're most familiar with, right? So I would go, hey babe, let's go. If I make 12 sales this month, or X, Y, Z, we're gonna do one night at the Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Beach in Dana Point. And we'd go down there and get the valet and I'd give the dude my keys and feel like a big shot. I had like five bucks to tip him, you know? And then we'd check into the hotel and she'd go get a massage and I'd go play golf. Then we'd hang out at the pool and have a nice bottle of wine. Just one night. Every 60 days, touch it and then go back. Then we do it again, then we do it again, then we do it again. All of a sudden, I became familiar.

• 55:12Lewis Howes?

  You do it every week.

• 55:13Ed Mylett?

  Your mind starts to become familiar with this dream, right? And then I'd meet the people that were there. I was like, these are actually pretty nice people. A lot of them are very kind. Many of them are very charitable. Not all of them. But you know what? Not all of the broke people I know are very kind. In fact, these are just human beings that have solved people's problems, that are willing to take risks, that are willing to dream. And so the more familiar I became with my dream and the people associated with them, the more I became comfortable, the more I thought I belonged there. Over time, you begin to believe you belong in your dreams when you touch them periodically. And so for me, it just was this periodic shift of, actually, a lot of them have helped people.

• 55:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 55:54Ed Mylett?

  A lot of them make a difference. And you know that as well. You've interviewed some of the richest people in the world. And not all of them are great people.

• 55:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 55:59Ed Mylett?

  But about the same percentage that are broke are good people, that are richer, good people.

• 56:04Lewis Howes?

  What's the one skill you would like to develop in the next nine years?

• 56:08Ed Mylett?

  I'd like to develop the skill of more presence and I want my meditation abilities to expand. I'm a pretty good meditator, but I think there's another level I could get to of emptying my mind more regularly. Um, I would like to be able to do that. I would like to.

• 56:23Ed Mylett?

  Have the skill of being more comfortable in public environments. I'm good in them, but I'm, make me, a lot of people can relate to this. I'm very drained when it's over.

• 56:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I know the feeling.

• 56:32Ed Mylett?

  You know?

• 56:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:33Ed Mylett?

  And I'd like to be charged up by being around people more than I am drained by it. And it's not that I don't love them, I do, but there's an element of me that's working at it. And it's, because my love for people is off the charts. I know you can relate to this.

• 56:46Lewis Howes?

  You have so much energy when you're on stage, you bring, you know, all of it.

• 56:49Ed Mylett?

  All of it, so do you, right? You know what that's like. And so, I'd like to have that ability to enjoy that more. And I think probably the pathway to doing it though is my meditation. And so for me, it's just, I want to grow that part of my life, that muscle.

• 57:03Lewis Howes?

  That's powerful, man. I'm so excited about this book. I got to dive into some of it. I want to get to the rest of it though.

• 57:09Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 57:09Lewis Howes?

  But The Power of One More, The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success. I can't recommend enough to buy a few copies of this. Give it to your friends, do a book club, and share this out on social media. The Power of One More. It's going to be a very inspiring book for you. It's going to help you transform the way you think, your emotions, your actions. So make sure you guys get a few copies of this book. And make sure to support Ed, follow you on social media. You've got an amazing podcast. I had a great time when I was on there. You have some incredible people and you ask amazing questions as well. So make sure you check out your show. Social media, you're mostly on Instagram and YouTube.

• 57:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 57:47Lewis Howes?

  You on any other places?

• 57:48Ed Mylett?

  I'm on Twitter and Facebook and all that, but you know, my podcast is on all the platforms too, all the audio platforms.

• 57:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. But edmylet.com is where they should get the book?

• 57:56Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, no, you can get your book anywhere. Go anywhere that books are sold. And if you go to thepowerofone more dot com. There's great tools on there that'll help you with the book, enhance the experience of the book. And it's a heavy book, I'll be honest with you, there's a lot of tactics and strategies in there. So if you want to read a heavy book that'll really help you, there's, it does not lack for detail.

• 58:13Lewis Howes?

  Love this, man.

• 58:15Lewis Howes?

  How else can we be of service to you?

• 58:17Ed Mylett?

  Oh brother, I want to see you keep changing the world. I want you to continue to grow. I'm so proud of you. I love you. You're the future.

• 58:24Lewis Howes?

  Thanks man.

• 58:24Ed Mylett?

  And I mean, you know, I told you I got in here today. I just watching you shine makes me so happy.

• 58:29Lewis Howes?

  Thanks man.

• 58:30Ed Mylett?

  And I just want you to be enjoying and loving your life. And the way that everybody can help me is just be kinder to people. And be kinder to yourself.

• 58:37Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 58:37Ed Mylett?

  And really, really begin to operate out of your dreams and your imagination. If you're a praying person, those dreams in your imagination are a form of prayer. And they can be answered.

• 58:45Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. This is a question I've asked you before. It's called the three truths. So imagine it's your last day on earth, many years away. You get to accomplish everything. You're the best meditator in the world now. You're more present, loving, all these, all these things, you know, you've accomplished everything. And you've been the man you want to be.

• 59:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 59:05Lewis Howes?

  But for whatever reason, it's the last day, and this could be any time in the future. And you can't leave behind the wisdom that you've shared. The books, the podcasts, the videos, it's all gone for whatever reason. Hypothetical. But you have three things you can leave behind, three lessons to the world. This is all we would have. Of your wisdom. What would those three truths be for you?

• 59:28Ed Mylett?

  One, there's a God in heaven who loves you that made him, made you and your image and likeness and his image and likeness. So there's a God in heaven. Two, you were born to do something great with your life in big ways and small ways. Just like that person who helped my dad. They thought that was a small thing. It may not be on Instagram. It may not get 20 million likes or views, but you were born to do something great. I'm gonna say that to you again. You. You were born to do something great with your life. You are not average and ordinary. And the third thing is this, there's a power to doing one more. And if you'll do one more, your one decision, one relationship, one meeting, one encounter, one thought, one podcast interview, one book. Away from a completely different life. You don't lack vision. You lack depth perception.

• 1:00:11Ed Mylett?

  You think you're further than you are and you keep keeping it in that distance because you think it's so far away. You're one more away. I'll give you the last example of it. Played golf two weeks ago with this dude. Everyone says, you gotta meet this dude. He's a similar net worth. I show up to the first tee, he goes, man, Ed, my big fan, I can't wait to spend the next five hours talking about you. I go, that ain't how it's gonna work, bro. I already know about me. I want to know about you. And he goes, well, I can tell you the whole thing on the first tee. I go, give it to me. You gotta hear this, Louis. He goes, 1986, I loaned a guy 50 grand. So did my best friend. Said you both loaned him fifty grand. He goes, yep. He goes, a week later, my friend got cold feet, asked for the money back. I kept the loan. It turned into seven hundred and fifty million dollars.

• 1:00:48Lewis Howes?

  Holy cow.

• 1:00:49Ed Mylett?

  I said, come again? He goes, seven fifty. I said, who'd you loan that money to? Jeff Bezos.

• 1:00:55Lewis Howes?

  Holy, he did not.

• 1:00:57Ed Mylett?

  I said, come on, man, are you serious? He goes, yeah. I go, man, you really were one decision away, one relationship away, from totally changing your life. He goes, yeah. Now, that's an extreme example. I don't have one of those, but I'm a series of those one more's in your life, and so is everybody listening to this. So you're one away, one relationship, one meaning, one person, one thought, away from changing your life.

• 1:01:16Lewis Howes?

  That's a good story.

• 1:01:17Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:20Lewis Howes?

  Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you, Ed, for the way you constantly show up. You're such a giver to so many people.

• 1:01:25Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 1:01:26Lewis Howes?

  Myself, so many of our peers, my friends that are friends of yours as well. Every time I'm around you, there's an energy that you bring that is infectious in a positive way.

• 1:01:37Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 1:01:38Lewis Howes?

  And you, just your way of being instills belief in other people. You do it with me, you do it with so many other people, you do it with people that are just listening or watching, that don't get to experience you in person. So I really acknowledge you for the constant transformation you're on. And I really am inspired by the model you've developed, you know, as a human being. So I just really appreciate you, your friendship, your generosity, your message, everything about you, man. And hopefully, I can, I gotta play golf with you someday. I haven't played in years. I've played like once in five years.

• 1:02:08Ed Mylett?

  You probably beat me right out of the game.

• 1:02:09Lewis Howes?

  I'm not that good, man. But it'd be fun to just hang out.

• 1:02:12Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:02:12Lewis Howes?

  Hang out and have some lemonade.

• 1:02:13Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, that's what I drink, lemonade. Lots of lemonade.

• 1:02:18Lewis Howes?

  But I acknowledge you, man, I appreciate you, and I'm very excited about this book and the message and your ability to serve so many people for the rest of your life.

• 1:02:25Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 1:02:25Lewis Howes?

  Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:02:28Ed Mylett?

  My definition of greatness is that your life matches your vision for it. That you create a life that matches your vision for your life, and that's greatness, no matter what that looks like for you. I have a sister who I think lives greatly, and she's blind. My middle sister Andrea is blind, and she's a schoolteacher. She can't drive, she can see some stuff, but she can't drive, she can't grade papers. But she spends her entire life using the gifts God gave her, that formula I gave her earlier, of serving other people. Her gifts are, she's a fourth grade Christian schoolteacher and doesn't make a lot of money. And she's living in greatness, and she's living in greatness. And she's taken her nurturing skills, her patience, her ability to teach.

• 1:03:10Ed Mylett?

  Her height, she's 4'11". So she's the same height as all the students. And she's living greatly. And so she's living her dream. And to me, that's this, living in the service of others, using your gifts to serve them. And your, your life matches your dream for your life, is living a great life. And my sister's a great example of that. So Andrea Ward, who used to be Andrea Mylett, is living a great life and she'd be a great example.

• 1:03:33Lewis Howes?

  Wow, it's beautiful. And Mylett, appreciate it, man. Love you, brother.

• 1:03:35Ed Mylett?

  I love you, man.

• 1:03:36Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it, man. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.