972 Why Money and Success Aren't Always the Answer

On today's 5-minute Friday, Lewis shares an unsettling experience he had last week and meditates on the complicated relationship between wealth, success, happiness, and fulfillment.-For more: https://lewishowes.com/972 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is Five Minute Friday.

• 0:10Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to this Five Minute Friday, and I wanted to start this episode with a quote from Jim Carrey. He said, "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer."

• 0:27Lewis Howes?

  I've been thinking a lot about success, greatness, and where happiness fits into the spectrum. Because I think I see a lot of people chasing, chasing, chasing money, accomplishments, followings, building their brand, all these different things, which, hey, these are all great things, all fun things. But when we wrap our entire identity and desires around money, around the need to get bigger, more powerful, more famous, all these different things, when we tie our happiness and fulfillment around that, it's a recipe for unhappiness, depression, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and all those things.

• 1:12Lewis Howes?

  When we tie our happiness to, and film it to, having a powerful vision that's bigger than ourselves, doing things for others, you know, inspiring the people around us, taking care of our health, growing, learning, adapting, evolving, overcoming adversity. When we, when we focus on the moment-to-moment, being our best, improving, those type of things bring us more joy, more gratitude, more positive energy. And I want to share a quick story. I was driving up the coast of California this last weekend. I took my girlfriend up to San Francisco. She said she wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge. So I took her on an amazing adventure and a journey up the coast of California.

• 1:58Lewis Howes?

  And for those that have done that, they know how beautiful it is going all up the coastline. And we had this amazing four-day experience, just enjoying everything, connecting, diving deeper into our relationship. And I really realized, like, having that intimate, connected relationship is what brings me a lot of fulfillment and joy. Just both of us together, learning, adventuring, enjoying the beauty of life together.

• 2:24Lewis Howes?

  And we drive back down through the state and we get back and as I pull into our building, we live in a high-rise kind of condo building and as I pulled in, I noticed something different. There is a police car, a few police cars, there's some yellow tape, um, kind of blocking off the entrance way. So we had to kind of go around the main entrance and I see a white tent in the parking lot, just in front of the building. And for whatever reason, it just did not feel right. It didn't look good. And I said to myself, I really hope no one jumped off the building.

• 3:05Lewis Howes?

  And as I pulled in and I parked my car and I talked to someone who was working in the building, I said, tell me someone didn't jump. And he just said, yeah, they did. I go, are you serious? And unfortunately, someone jumped off, um, the 27th floor of my building and committed suicide. And it, it weighed on me heavily for the last couple of days. And it's something I haven't been able to stop thinking about because we later found out who the person was.

• 3:40Lewis Howes?

  And this was an individual who was, you know, well-known in Hollywood entertainment world. He was extremely wealthy, had hundreds of millions of dollars, was involved in big Hollywood movies, uh, and investing in them and other big projects. He was involved with big political leaders. And it was someone who was well-connected, had a lot of credibility, who had hundreds of millions of dollars, had access, influence, power, all those things. And yet, he took his own life. And it really.

• 4:18Lewis Howes?

  It's just, I've never seen that. I've never seen that so close to home, right? You hear about these things, you know, people are struggling and going through depression and loneliness. And this happens, this happens all over the world. And I've been hearing that suicide rates are up, especially during coronavirus. And it just, it got me thinking, and I really don't know what I wanted to say about that specifically. I just wanted to know that I wanted to come on here and, and tell you that, you know, having lots of money can help in a lot of ways, but it doesn't help in every way.

• 5:00Lewis Howes?

  And I don't want to speculate on what this man's life was, what he was dealing with, and where he was feeling emotionally, mentally. I don't want to speculate on any of those things. But I do know that creating deep intimacy, connection, community, is a big proponent of happiness, is a big proponent of gratitude and joy. It's the people we spend the time with, it's the quality of our relationships, which brings meaning and value to our lives. And yes, different people are going to struggle, even if you have the quality relationships, doesn't mean you're going to be perfect and everything's going to be okay. There, there might be other challenges that are involved there, but I just want you to think about,

• 5:44Lewis Howes?

  as you're on your path and journey to greatness, as you're out there building your entrepreneurial dream, or you're going after that dream job, or you're going after that, that dream body, whatever it is that you want, that you want to buy that dream house, that car you're looking to buy, whatever it is, the thing that's your dream, and you're on your path in your own journey of greatness, I want you to remember that sometimes the end of the day dream and goal is not the thing that's going to bring you the most happiness and joy. In fact, from my own personal experience, Every time I had big dreams and big goals, I was left completely unfulfilled about 15 to 30 minutes after the fact of achieving them. From being a two-sport All-American, to being a professional athlete, to making my first million dollars

• 6:29Lewis Howes?

  in business, to all these different accomplishments that I achieved, up until I was about 30 years old, I was never satisfied. I was never truly happy. In fact, I felt more empty and alone sometimes after I'd achieved these big goals. My ego got filled up, my ego was happy, my ego was excited, but then my heart was unfulfilled and unhappy, and I didn't understand until, most of you know my story, when I started to open up about sexual abuse and finally accept myself and finally start doing more of the inner deep work and finally start finding the joy in the day-to-day moments, and the joy and the beauty of just looking into the sky and being next to a tree in the wind

• 7:14Lewis Howes?

  and driving up the coast of California. It wasn't the moment of seeing the Golden Gate Bridge that brought me the most joy and peace and fulfillment. It wasn't the end of the trip, it was the beautiful, messy parts of the drive along the way, the unexpected moments that brought me joy, and the person I was with where I got to experience these moments. So I just want you to take a moment today to reflect on what you're chasing, what you're going after, and the people in your life, because all these things matter. And if you're thinking about harming yourself in any way, if you're thinking about doing

• 7:55Lewis Howes?

  something harmful to yourself, then I would love for you to check in with a friend and tell someone. Tell someone how you're feeling, how you're thinking. Do not keep this inside. If you don't have a friend that you feel confident with and sharing, then feel free to get help from the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. You can call the number, it's 1-800-273-8255. Your life matters, your opinions matter.

• 8:23Lewis Howes?

  You're a valuable human being. And I want you to know that. I want you to know that you are loved, even if you may not feel loved by anyone around you. I've been there for many years of my life. I didn't feel anyone loved me. And that was a lie. It was a lie that I was really good at telling myself. Lots of people loved me, but I didn't feel it. I wasn't capable of receiving it. And I, and mostly it's because I didn't love myself. People loved me, but I wasn't willing to receive it. And I didn't love myself because of the shame and guilt I felt from all the things that happened and from my childhood. But I'm telling you, you matter and your life matters. And if no one's told you lately, I'm telling you right now that you matter.

• 9:06Lewis Howes?

  And your life is deserving of incredible things. But you've got to be willing to show up and do the work and it's not easy all the time. I understand. You might be in a dark place at different times. I get it. It's not fun and it's really scary. But there are people that want to see you thrive and see you happy and fulfilled. And I want to see you succeed. I want to see you succeed. And I want you to know I got your back. And we're here every single week to try to support you in every way we can to help you in your life, improve your goals, improve your dreams. But ultimately, the quality of your life is related to the quality of the people you spend the most time with. And those experiences you have.

• 9:48Lewis Howes?

  That's where the magic lies in life. That's where the juice of this world lies in the day to day moments. Not at the destination, not the end goal. All that stuff is fun. The Golden Gate Bridge was fun. It was cool to be there. But when you sat there after an hour, then you got to move on. And you got to enjoy the day to day. Probably not what you expect on this five minute Friday, but it's something that was on my mind and on my heart and I wanted to share with you. I'm so grateful for you. I'm grateful for your, that you're a part of my life and this journey. Whether this is your first time listening to the podcast or you've been listening for seven years. I'm glad you're here. We'd love to hear your thoughts. You can always leave a review over on Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts about

• 10:32Lewis Howes?

  this specific topic, about anything. We'd love to hear from you. And if you want more inspirational messages to keep you motivated and inspired every single week moving forward, or just a little pick-me-up in those moments of the week that might be hard for you, I send text messages to people that want to be a part of that group. And you can text me the word PODCAST to 614-350-3960. This is a place for you to feel loved, feel supported, be inspired, and live your best life. I'm grateful for you. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.