818 7 Keys to Being Present In Your Life with Chris Lee

LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL. All of us are trying to do too many things at once. We’re on the phone while doing something else. We’re on a date but we’re distracted. We’re responding to text messages at red lights. When we live like this, we never fully experience anything. We’re half-living. It’s hard to build relationships, be joyful, and be open to opportunities when you’re not present. You may even be putting your life in danger. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about the power of presence with a coach and mentor who has grounded me throughout my adult life: Chris Lee. Chris Lee has spent the last 27 years leading powerful Leadership Seminars around the world. A pioneer in emotional intelligence, Chris Lee has trained and developed people at the top of their game such as Olympic athletes, Fortune 500 Business leaders, celebrities and individuals with a desire to elevate themselves. Chris Lee also serves as a collaborator on TV and radio shows for Univision and The Fox Network. Chris says that we need to realize that life has an ending. What you’re experiencing now will soon be over- this is your one shot! By taking ownership of your life and your environment, you can stop your resentments of the past and anxiety about the future. So get ready to learn the Seven Keys to Being Present on Episode 818. Some Questions I Ask: How do we be more present? (7:00) How do we lead a more joyful life? (13:00) What’s the difference between appreciating where you’re out and realizing you want something better? (14:50) What is a lesson you’ve learned in the last six months? (36:00) What’s a lesson you still need to learn? (38:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: Seven keys to be more present (9:00) Why we stay stuck in situations we don’t want to be in (16:00) Why you need to hold other people accountable for being present (18:00) The importance of setting intentions (24:00) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 818 with Chris Lee. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  Deepak Chopra said, "Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want to do if you stay in the present moment." It's all about being present. For some reason, I keep hearing this theme lately. Obviously, there's been books written about this for years. People talk about this constantly, but we seem to miss out on the present moment. We're so focused on the past, or we're focused on what we want to create in the future. I know I've been susceptible to this many times, where I've let past experiences take place in the moment, where I've repeated the past in my mind, or allowed the emotions to come up at different times,

• 1:13Lewis Howes?

  but that moment is over. And I'm such a goal-oriented, high-performing achiever, that I'm focused on a future vision. And I think that's important to do, is to focus more on the future vision, but bring it back to the now and be present as much as possible. And we derive most of our stress and anxiety and anger and resentment living in the past or in the future. But when we bring our present moment to the now, that's when we start to feel at peace. And that's the only way we can get in the zone, is when we live in the now. And for those of you that know, we talk about this, peak performers, those that achieve the unachievable, only do it by being present.

• 1:58Lewis Howes?

  By being in the zone, by being in the flow. And today we've got Chris Lee, who's been on the show, I believe, over 14 times now. He's a transformational trainer, coach, bestselling author of a book called Transform Your Life, 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity. He's been doing transformational work for 30 years, traveling the world, leading seminars and workshops for over a million people, teaching them the art of living abundant, extraordinary, and successful lives. He's worked with top companies worldwide such as DreamWorks, Apple, Google, Sony, Univision, NBC, and Telemundo. And he's been on tons of TV, media, press, and he's here today to talk about how being present can literally save your life.

• 2:38Lewis Howes?

  The importance of living with a sense of urgency in the moment, taking responsibility for your environment. I'm huge on environment, and I want to share with you why this is so powerful. The power of setting an intention for yourself and for the people around you. Why so many people are unfulfilled in how to break the habit and the seven key steps for staying in the moment. This is a powerful one. Make sure to share with your friends. The best way to do that is just send them the link, lewishouse.com/818. Or just copy and paste the link that on the podcast app that you're listening to, whether it's Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, SoundCloud, all those places that you listen to podcasts. Just take this link and share it with a friend right now.

• 3:23Lewis Howes?

  Be an inspiration to someone in their life today with this wealth of information, this free information to support them in improving their life. Without further ado, guys, the seven keys to being present in your life with the one and only Chris Lee.

• 3:41Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got my good friend, Chris Lee. Hey. In the house. How's it going? My friend, my mentor, my coach. Very grateful that you're here. Thank you for being here. I think this is probably number What 15, 16, 25?

• 3:57Chris Lee?

  I forgot, man.

• 3:58Lewis Howes?

  A lot of times you've been on here. You've transformed a lot of people's lives in person. I think we calculated a few years ago is over 100,000 people you've worked with over 30 years?

• 4:08Chris Lee?

  30 years.

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  30 years training?

• 4:10Chris Lee?

  Doesn't look like it.

• 4:11Lewis Howes?

  Doesn't look like it. 30 years training.

• 4:13Chris Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:13Lewis Howes?

  In-person workshops, three, four and five day workshops.

• 4:17Chris Lee?

  Day in, day out with people.

• 4:19Lewis Howes?

  All day, 12, 15 hour days.

• 4:21Chris Lee?

  You were at one.

• 4:22Lewis Howes?

  I was at one six years ago, roughly six years ago. That transformed my life. I talked about my life before the opening of expression of that workshop. And then after that workshop of how things have shifted. Of course, I'm not perfect and I still make a lot of mistakes in my life. But a lot has shifted and a lot has improved because of those moments. So you've also written a book called 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity. Transform Your Life.

• 4:51Chris Lee?

  The outcome of a podcast here.

• 4:53Lewis Howes?

  That's it. We did a podcast on this and you wrote a book. It's a bestseller on Amazon. And today we're going to talk about being present, the power of presence. And you were saying you had a funny story on the way here. Something happened with your Uber driver.

• 5:07Chris Lee?

  Lately, a lot of things have been happening where I'm seeing how by people not being present, there's a lot of drama and there's also a lot of missed opportunities. And so on my way here, the Uber driver was spaced out somewhere and literally crashed into the car in front of her. Yeah. So I literally got out of the car and I walked. I walked up, I walked up to Hani. I'm like, okay, see you.

• 5:34Lewis Howes?

  Bye.

• 5:35Chris Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:35Lewis Howes?

  You handle this.

• 5:36Chris Lee?

  But she was, she was not present. And so when you think about not being present, we cause a lot of unnecessary drama.

• 5:45Chris Lee?

  Another friend of mine was in the hospital for a month because she wasn't walking, she wasn't watching where she was walking. She was somewhere in her mind.

• 5:54Lewis Howes?

  On her phone or somewhere else.

• 5:56Chris Lee?

  Whatever, and she stepped into a pothole and fractured a leg in three places. And so just one specific moment can set you back financially, can set you back health-wise, can set you back in so many ways because we're not present.

• 6:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think a lot of us try to do two things at once or 10 things at once. We try to text and drive quickly. We stop at a stoplight and we text really quick and then put the phone back. We're on the phone and doing something else. We're out on a date with our partner and yet we're distracted or we're, and it may not even be something we're actively actively doing on the phone, which I see that a lot, where people go out on dates and they're on the phone the whole time.

• 6:39Chris Lee?

  Oh God, yeah, I've seen, I've seen dinners where everyone's on the phone.

• 6:42Lewis Howes?

  Right, so it may not be as obvious as that because they might be in their mind thinking about something from the past or in the future and be distracted and not being present. And something that I've been really focusing on over the last six months, I've been in a new relationship and it's long distance and I guess the beauty of that is when I'm with her, I don't take my phone anywhere, I'm present and she will quickly say, you're not paying attention to me if I, for one moment I check my phone.

• 7:11Chris Lee?

  Right, because you navigate.

• 7:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:13Chris Lee?

  And so we live, we live in a constant state of fear of missing out. We're always thinking about what we have pending, the plans, the future, our vision. There's almost like this ADD quality to life now, and especially now with social media and with all the things coming at us so fast.

• 7:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:33Chris Lee?

  And if you're committed to creating big results in your life, you have plans, you have goals, but a lot of that steals time and steals moments from us. And so it does not allow us to be present in the moment. And the magic is in the moment.

• 7:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 7:49Chris Lee?

  The magic is, I'm here, I'm all in, I'm engaged with you. Because so many people are not present, they miss out on things. They miss out on life.

• 7:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, we were talking before off camera, how, you know, the last five years, there's a lot of people in your life who've passed away. And it's a reminder, I think, and I was telling you how I'm a little afraid, even though I should be more present and not thinking about the future. Because we're all gonna die, but I've like, I've never really had anyone close to me die. I've had grandparents pass away at the right time, but not someone drastically, you know, die. And all we have is this moment. There is no guarantee tomorrow, and I think the more we're reminded of that as being present, there's a lot of power in that moment. And I just think we're anxious a lot. I'm speaking for myself.

• 8:39Chris Lee?

  Right, right, right.

• 8:40Lewis Howes?

  Anxiety of resentment from the past. Or a fear of the moment because of like how I was, what have happened to me in the past, or I don't want things to repeat. And so we live in fear in the moment because we're thinking of the past. Or we're afraid of what's coming in the future, that we're not gonna meet some desired result, or something's not gonna happen. And then we live in fear of the future. So how do we focus our attention on being more present now? So that we can live more fully?

• 9:09Chris Lee?

  Well, we have to break the obsession. It's an obsession that we're in. We obsess over the past. We obsess over what was.

• 9:15Lewis Howes?

  Why do we obsess so much over it, though? When it's already gone, you can't go back to it.

• 9:19Chris Lee?

  Because we don't let it go.

• 9:20Lewis Howes?

  Why do we not let it go?

• 9:21Chris Lee?

  Because we get attached. Why are we attached? Because we're addicted.

• 9:25Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 9:26Chris Lee?

  It's an addiction. It's a focus. It's, and I think that one of the biggest problems that we have is that we think that where we are isn't it. This is not it. And so we think that happiness, or joy, or fulfillment is in the future. Or it was in the past because, and we lost it. So either we had it and we lost it, or it's in the future and it hasn't gotten there.

• 9:53Lewis Howes?

  We're waiting, anxiously.

• 9:55Chris Lee?

  And then, and I think that, you know, and I'll talk about some of the steps to, to really bringing the present moment and, and being able to be present. One of the things that we do is we miss out on the moment and we don't realize that happiness is right now. Because the only moment that we really have is this one. There is no other moment. The next moment is a promise. The next moment is an idea. The last moment is over.

• 10:22Lewis Howes?

  The last moment is just a memory.

• 10:24Chris Lee?

  It's a memory.

• 10:25Lewis Howes?

  It's history. And the future is a future idea or a potential moment in the future that hasn't come yet.

• 10:33Chris Lee?

  Right, and when it comes, it'll be the present.

• 10:35Lewis Howes?

  That's it, that's it. So how do we focus on being happier in this moment as opposed to waiting to be happy or being angry because we're holding on to something from the past? Or is that part of one of the keys?

• 10:45Chris Lee?

  Yeah, so the, I think there are seven keys that I've discovered and I've uncovered by, you know, through the research and through being in trainings and seeing what's gonna bring people joy and fulfillment.

• 10:58Lewis Howes?

  Peace now, yeah.

• 10:59Chris Lee?

  And the first key is to realize that this is the moment. This is the only moment we have. And realizing that this is the only moment we have is realizing that by living in this present moment, I get to bring all of me to it.

• 11:16Chris Lee?

  So I get to be engaged in it. And so by living in the present moment is realizing that the past is a memory, the future's an illusion, and so I'm gonna make it count.

• 11:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Chris Lee?

  And when I live from the present moment back to the point that I've lost a lot of people, a lot of people have died in the last couple of years and recently, is realizing our own mortality. Like, we live life like we have forever. We live life like it's gonna, like there's a guarantee of tomorrow. And I don't know there's another moment. And so when I live life from this is the only moment I have, I'm living life from urgency. And so I'm living life from, I may not see you again. So let me be present.

• 11:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:56Chris Lee?

  Or I may not, we may not pass this way again. And so when I live from the moment, what I'm doing is I'm celebrating it and acknowledging it. And I'm able to be present in it. And so what stops me from that is the guilt of the past and the anxiety of the past and the resistance of what, you know, I've been through, afraid of going through it again. And so that leads to the second key, which is to embrace and accept.

• 12:29Chris Lee?

  Where you are. That what's happening right now is actually happening for you. That what's happening right now is your benefit.

• 12:43Chris Lee?

  Because as long as I'm thinking that that this relationship isn't it, this moment isn't it, this house isn't it, this career isn't it.

• 12:53Lewis Howes?

  This partner.

• 12:54Chris Lee?

  This partner isn't it. What I'm doing is I'm putting all of my happiness on a result. And so by me being grateful for the moment that I have, whether it's, it could be a bad moment, it could be a good moment. It could be, you know, an amazing moment. But being in gratitude of what's happening right now is a moment where I can choose happiness. Because my happiness is up to me. And so my enjoying of this moment is up to me. And so when I'm able to embrace the moment and live in it, then I'm present. Because by not being present, I miss out on you. I miss out on relationships.

• 13:38Chris Lee?

  I miss out on life. It could bring me an accident. I could, I mean, there's so many things that could happen and that do happen when we're not present.

• 13:46Lewis Howes?

  And if we're always focused on the future, we never experience anything, really. We're just waiting for something. We're like half living.

• 13:55Chris Lee?

  Right.

• 13:55Lewis Howes?

  Kind of half present, but always thinking of something in the future. We're not able to really tap into the flow of feeling everything and being everything and experiencing everything. And then that's what can be sad. You know, I've experienced this in my life where I've been disconnected because I've been thinking about the past or holding on to something. Stress, anxiety, whatever, anger, resentment. And then I don't live the fullest moment. I don't get to experience life with all the joy and pleasures and really connect to people. The same thing when we think about the future, so.

• 14:27Lewis Howes?

  It's a powerful reminder to realize we only have this moment. Realize it, embrace and accept where we are and know it's for you. As hard as that may be, because there's a lot of moments that you've been through and I've been through and so many people. It's hard to say this moment's for me when you're feeling desperate, when you're feeling like the world is against you, when you're feeling in scarcity, when you're feeling just like you're living in fear. It's really hard to tap out of that or to get out of that and be joyful. So how do we, how do we do that?

• 14:57Chris Lee?

  Well, it's interpretation. It's back to what we talked about, living a bulletproof life, which is choosing an interpretation that empowers you. What doesn't allow me to be in the moment, what doesn't allow me to be present with you or to be joyful in my life is thinking that what's happening is against me. What's happening is, you know, I'm taking it personal or I'm letting it take my power away. It may be something that you don't want happening in your life, but you make a choice to choose happiness, to choose to see the good in it. You know, to see it in a positive light. And so that allows me to be present. And when I'm able to be present, then I'm able to enjoy my moments.

• 15:37Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 15:37Chris Lee?

  So many people go through people's lives and they were never present. They were never there, they were never connected. They miss out, they don't remember even conversations. And you see it at funerals, people are like, what was the last thing I said to them? Or what was, what could I remember of them? And a whole lifetime can be summed up in two conversations. Where there were so many moments that you were with somebody that you weren't present. And, and most people are not in the moment. And it's really challenging. And the next principle in terms of being present is to monitor your thoughts, to be aware of where is your mind going when you're with somebody? You know, kind of like when your partner is saying, hey, you know, come back.

• 16:18Chris Lee?

  You know, monitoring your thoughts is being, is noticing where your mind is going, noticing what you're thinking. And is what you're thinking taking away from the moment? Is what you're thinking something that's driven by the past? Is what you're thinking is about something that, somewhere else you want to be? Because we're always thinking about the next place. It's kinda like we live in ADD land. We want the next shiny object. We not, we want the next exciting moment. And so it's really challenging to actually be present.

• 16:47Lewis Howes?

  What's the difference between appreciating where you're at? And also recognizing if, well, I'm actually in a toxic relationship. And I don't wanna be in this. I do want something better for myself. I do want a better career. I can be happy with what I have now, but I also wanna gain something greater.

• 17:06Chris Lee?

  Well, you have, in the moment, you have, you have several choices. One is accept it. The other is change it.

• 17:13Lewis Howes?

  You accept the relationship.

• 17:15Chris Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:15Lewis Howes?

  Accept the career.

• 17:16Chris Lee?

  Accept, you know, a lot of people complain about where they are and they don't do anything about it.

• 17:20Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 17:21Chris Lee?

  And so either, like I have somebody I was coaching who's miserable in her relationship, but she won't break up with him.

• 17:27Lewis Howes?

  So either accept it.

• 17:28Chris Lee?

  I'm like, either accept it and embrace it that that's the way it is.

• 17:31Lewis Howes?

  And love your life.

• 17:32Chris Lee?

  And find joy anyway in it.

• 17:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Or move on.

• 17:36Chris Lee?

  Move on. Change it.

• 17:38Lewis Howes?

  Why do we have such a hard time accepting and changing? And we just stay stuck?

• 17:45Chris Lee?

  Because we think that things should be different than the way they are. And we also think that it has nothing to do with us. When we're the ones who are creating it. We're the ones who are causing it. And so by not being present with the responsibility of what I'm creating, then what I do is I'm always thinking that this is not it and it should be different. And then we stay stuck. And then we're stuck in a situation we don't wanna be in.

• 18:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:14Chris Lee?

  And then we're miserable about it and we complain about it, but we don't do anything about it.

• 18:18Lewis Howes?

  And we don't live in the present either.

• 18:19Chris Lee?

  And we're not in the present.

• 18:20Lewis Howes?

  Okay. What's, uh, is it, what, are we on number three right now?

• 18:24Chris Lee?

  We're on number three.

• 18:24Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 18:25Chris Lee?

  So number three is to be all in. To be all in, in the moment. You're either all in in life or you're all out. My point of view is I'm either all in my relationship. There's no half in.

• 18:36Lewis Howes?

  This is kind of what people are doing when they're not accepting the moment and they're complaining about it, or they're not changing it, right? They're they're half in.

• 18:44Chris Lee?

  They're half in.

• 18:45Lewis Howes?

  In the relationship, the career.

• 18:46Chris Lee?

  Or they're not even in, they're really not in.

• 18:47Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 18:48Chris Lee?

  And there's and and really, to me, it's either all or all in or not. You know, there's no half committed, half in, half. You know, you don't want an employee that's half committed. You don't want a relationship that's half committed. It's, you know, and so by being all in, I'm bringing all of me to it. I'm gonna bring all of myself to the situation. And I'm gonna put thought, body, heart, mind, spirit, all into the in the present moment. And so that's a key to being present by being all in. And being all of me, like generous and and present and joyful and bring all the gifts that I have to the moment.

• 19:26Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:27Chris Lee?

  Because most people are kind of like waiting for a circumstance change.

• 19:32Lewis Howes?

  Or they're just dabbling a little bit, half in a little bit, like you said. It's not until we go all in is when we can really experience life, I think, at the fullest.

• 19:40Chris Lee?

  Well, think about it, in your relationship right now, are you all in in the relationship?

• 19:43Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 19:44Chris Lee?

  And is your partner all in?

• 19:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 19:47Chris Lee?

  And how's that feel?

• 19:48Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing. It feels great. And here's the thing, in my last relationship, I was emotionally trying to unwind and get out for years.

• 19:57Chris Lee?

  Right.

• 19:57Lewis Howes?

  You know, in and out through therapy, breaking up, back together. And it was more stressful because I wasn't all in all the time.

• 20:06Chris Lee?

  And you wanted to. I mean, it's important to to make that clear. I was there with you.

• 20:10Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 20:11Chris Lee?

  You wanted to.

• 20:12Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 20:13Chris Lee?

  But the wanting to is not the same as being.

• 20:15Lewis Howes?

  Of course, yeah.

• 20:16Chris Lee?

  And when you come from that criteria, then you can make some decisions that are pretty, it becomes easier.

• 20:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 20:22Chris Lee?

  Because do I want to be in a situation, whether it's work, relationship, family? Do I want to be in a situation where there's a partial commitment?

• 20:31Lewis Howes?

  I I think it's really challenging, this is probably a whole other topic for a podcast, but it's challenging to. The worst thing is indecision. It's like, do I go all in or do I go out? Being in the middle is the worst. You know, I I'm not just talking about my last relationship, but multiple relationships.

• 20:47Chris Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:47Lewis Howes?

  Different opportunities in my life. When we lack the courage to just make a decision, that's when we suffer the most, I feel like. We're like, "Well, I want this, but I don't know if I want this."

• 20:58Chris Lee?

  But what we don't know is that indecision is a decision.

• 21:02Lewis Howes?

  Indecision is a decision?

• 21:03Chris Lee?

  Yes, you're deciding not to decide.

• 21:06Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 21:07Chris Lee?

  And so you're making a choice to be in limbo.

• 21:09Lewis Howes?

  That's the worst.

• 21:10Chris Lee?

  Which is why so many people are unfulfilled. Because they're not, they're not doing what they wanna do. If you're in a career that you're not all in, get out. If you're not, if you're in a relationship, you're not all in, get out. So either change it or accept it.

• 21:26Lewis Howes?

  Accept it and go all in?

• 21:27Chris Lee?

  Yeah, accept it and go, "Okay, this is the way it is. Here are the benefits. There's clearly enough benefit that keeps you in or else you'd be out. So here are the benefits, I'm gonna accept it." You know, I was talking to somebody else and he was like, "Well, you know what? You know, there's 10 items that to me are important. This person has seven of them. And three of them I cannot stand. And so I'm gonna stop complaining."

• 21:48Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 21:49Chris Lee?

  I'm gonna put my energy towards the seven.

• 21:51Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 21:51Chris Lee?

  And so that allows you to create fulfillment in your relationship and in your life. So by being all in, then you could bring your energy, you could bring your joy, you could bring your passion. You could bring all of you into it.

• 22:07Lewis Howes?

  Okay, step four.

• 22:08Chris Lee?

  Step four is be an ownership of whatever moment you're in. Most people are spectators. They're like watching, they're observing. They show up to a place and they observe. They go to the party and they, "Oh, I don't like the food. I don't like the, you know, this is, the vibe's weird." And then they, they're in this observer mode or they show up into situations. Their life, it's their life, but they're a spectator. And there's like a T-shirt that read like, I saw years ago, "Life is not a dress rehearsal." And so, life is life. And there's a beginning and there's an end. That will keep you present. There's a beginning, there's an end. And we don't know where we are. We don't know what stage of beginning or end.

• 22:52Chris Lee?

  You know, there's a beginning, a middle, and an end. According to Buddhists, beginning, middle, and end. So we don't know where we are. Is this really, are we still in the beginning? Are we in the middle? Are we the end? So the important thing is that when you take ownership for where you are, whether it's a restaurant and you're in ownership of being there and you're noticing what's happening around you and you're present. You take ownership for the conversation. You're in ownership for the environment. You're in ownership for what's going on. That also allows you to be present. Instead of just watching. Because when we're watching, we're observers. We become judge and jury. So there we are. We start judging the situation.

• 23:30Lewis Howes?

  And gossiping.

• 23:31Chris Lee?

  You know, we start making up stories about why, you know, we can't be present. And so when I'm in ownership, it's so funny because wherever I go, people think I work there. Like I'm in a store, like, "See, you're the manager."

• 23:45Lewis Howes?

  Because I walk into everyone, you're...

• 23:47Chris Lee?

  I walk through life present. Like I'm engaged. I'm with a salesperson. And I'm present with them. And when you're present with people, and this is one of your gifts, people feel around you like they're the most important person in the world. You have that gift. People feel like, you know, like you're their fan. Like you're their number one fan. And that's what makes a great interviewer. That's what makes a great inspire, somebody who inspires other people. Because people feel like you're present with them. And so being in ownership allows you to look at the entire aerial view of what's happening around you. And then it allows you to be present.

• 24:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:28Chris Lee?

  You know, so if I'm in ownership of where I am, then I'm able to be present versus I walk on eggshells wherever I go. And I'm nervous and, you know, I'm not in ownership of my life.

• 24:42Lewis Howes?

  You know, you talk about environment a lot in the last six years since I've known you. And I really appreciate the reminder because I think it was something I was doing organically. But the more you address environment and how...

• 24:56Lewis Howes?

  We are in ownership of our environment, of our physical space, our apartment, our homes, the environment. When we show up to a space, we are in charge of how it thrives or how it dies. And by our way of being, by our energy and by being present, of course. And I think that's something that you do really well, obviously, is always showing up with energy and a light and a joy that shifts an environment if it doesn't have that. And it's amazing how one human being can change the entire energy and environment of any space, conversation, experience.

• 25:31Chris Lee?

  Yeah, it's like I was saying, you walk into a room, or you walk into a house, or you walk into a store, and you could be an observer of it and like, what's, you know, and judge it, or you can be that environment.

• 25:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Chris Lee?

  And so part of, part of what I commit to myself is to be, be responsible for the environment I'm committed to creating around me.

• 25:52Lewis Howes?

  And the experience you want to feel.

• 25:53Chris Lee?

  The experience I want to feel, the environment, what I want to see around me, what I, what I am committed to creating. And so I, before I go into a space, or before I go into another, and this is like, actually the next step, in addition to being in ownership, have an intention. And so, the intention, this would be five, right? So the intention is, what is your intention when you're sitting down with your significant other? What is your intention when you go into the board meeting? What is in your intention when you're talking to your employees? What is your intention when you talk to your mom? So what's the experience that you want to create when you're with that person?

• 26:32Lewis Howes?

  For the skeptics listening, or who's thinking, okay, so do I have to have an intention every 10 minutes of my life? You know what I mean? It's like, I wake up, I have to have an intention for how I'm gonna have breakfast with my spouse, and then go to work. Do I have to set it all, a 10-minute reminder in my mind for intention? Or how do we navigate that?

• 26:50Chris Lee?

  I don't think it's so much so specific. I think it's more of a general intention. Like, my intention is to create joy around me. My intention is to create love.

• 27:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:00Chris Lee?

  And if there's something that's specific that you're engaging with, you know, your girlfriend or your boyfriend, I'm committed to creating connection. You know, I'm committed to listening. I'm committed to being present. So it's all intentional.

• 27:14Lewis Howes?

  That's why I think it's really effective in the morning to set a clear intention of how you want to show up that day.

• 27:19Chris Lee?

  Of course. That's the first thing I do when I wake up. In addition to being blessed and grateful for being alive and for breathing and for making it to another day.

• 27:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 27:30Chris Lee?

  I get clear about my intention for the entire day. But sometimes intentions can be broken with the smaller intentions. Because if you have a board meeting or if you have a team meeting with your employees, you've got to have an intention about what you want to create. And so leaders come from intention. Is it got to be, you know, micromanaged every moment? No.

• 27:49Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. I think in the morning, you should set your intention for the day. And if you have a big moment that day, you can ground yourself beforehand. I think it's always good to reflect at night and say, did I show up?

• 28:00Chris Lee?

  Did I get, yeah. Did I, was I present? Was I present?

• 28:05Lewis Howes?

  Or was I distracted?

• 28:05Chris Lee?

  Was I engaged?

• 28:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 28:07Chris Lee?

  Did I accomplish what I wanted? Did I create the environment I love? And if I didn't, then what can I learn from it? What can I do different the next day? But think about, like, before you have big events, like, one of the things that I do with you is I'll ground you, like, before you do, for example, you're on Ellen, we grounded before Good Morning America, all these, or big speeches. One of the things I ask you is, what are you going to create? And it just, it gives you the power. It just lets you know that you have the power to create what you want. In an environment.

• 28:37Lewis Howes?

  That's it. Okay, number six.

• 28:40Chris Lee?

  Number six is to hold people accountable in being present.

• 28:44Lewis Howes?

  What's that, what's that look like?

• 28:45Chris Lee?

  Louis, you're spacing out. Can you get present?

• 28:48Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 28:49Chris Lee?

  That's what it looks like. Sweetheart, I'm talking to you. Can you, you know, can you stop playing Candy Crush for a moment?

• 28:58Chris Lee?

  Guys, we're at a dinner party and I noticed that we're all on the phone. Can we take a moment and put our phones away and let's be present? So it's not- Hold people accountable. So it's not screaming at them? No, no, no. Look, accountability is love. Let's be clear. Holding people accountable is saying I love you. When I hold you accountable, I'm saying you're capable of a bigger game. Yeah. You're capable of bigger possibility. And so, holding people accountable is, is clear on the environment you want around you and you're ensuring it. Just, for example, if you are not, if you don't want in your environment, people disrespecting you when they disrespect you, then you actually stand for that boundary, which we've talked about in the past.

• 29:41Chris Lee?

  And so, holding people accountable to being present creates an environment of people being present. I have a friend, a very close friend, and for the longest time, I was afraid to speak up. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But I noticed every time I was with her, we'd have dinner, she'd be on playing Candy Crush. We'd be at a movie and she'd be up playing Candy Crush. We'd be doing whatever and she, and, and it got to a point, I was like, can you, when we're together, can you do me a favor? I want to be with you. I don't know how much, I, you know, I, maybe I scared her. I don't know how much time we both have on this earth. But I really want us to have quality time together. And so, that completely shifted the relationship.

• 30:23Chris Lee?

  And now, that longer happens because that person knows that when they're with me, they're gonna be present. That's good. I was once at a dinner party, it was so funny, there was like 12 people and all 12 people were on the phone, texting and doing whatever. And so, I'm sitting down, so I text the person who invited everybody, "Hey, how you doing?" It was next to you, yeah. The person that invited me, I texted her. And she looks up and she goes, "Why are you texting me?" She goes, "Well, that's the only way we can talk." Wow. And she got, she goes, "Guys, let's put our phones away." But it's just, and I don't think people do it in a bad way. I just think that we just get caught up. And it goes back to the point that where we are isn't where we think we should be. Wow. Powerful. Instead of enjoying the moment.

• 31:06Chris Lee?

  That's it. Okay. And, uh, number seven? Number seven is be mindful of your physical space and your movements.

• 31:18Lewis Howes?

  So your body.

• 31:19Chris Lee?

  Your body. So whether it's driving, the physical, look, we are all physical beings and we're all, millions of people moving at the same time. And so by not being present, where I'm stepping, I could literally kill myself.

• 31:39Lewis Howes?

  It's true.

• 31:40Chris Lee?

  Two weeks ago, a woman in Puerto Rico had her head set on, she's a very well-known woman from a family of givers. She was 65. She's listening to music in her phone and she goes out of her house to put the trash in some other place. The trash truck ran her over.

• 32:02Lewis Howes?

  No.

• 32:04Chris Lee?

  She couldn't hear, she didn't see. She was like in her own world, da-da, boom, ran her over.

• 32:09Lewis Howes?

  Dead.

• 32:10Chris Lee?

  Like one second, she wasn't present of where she was walking. Another friend of mine, she was stepping off a helicopter, she was, her brain was somewhere else, missed a step, back surgery.

• 32:24Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 32:26Chris Lee?

  Stories of people, I don't know what the statistics are of how many people slip in a bathtub. Your brain's somewhere else, you're not thinking, where am I stepping? By the way, this podcast may save someone's life. You're not conscious of where you're stepping. So you know how you hear the, watch your step, literally watch your step, it could literally save your life. So be aware of where you're walking, what you're doing, what you're, you know, as you're moving. Don't text and drive. Be aware that you're in a car, it's moving. You text, that could be the end of your life. So just being conscious of that, be mindful of that.

• 33:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Don't think that, yeah, don't think that you're talented enough to do both, text and drive, walk on the street and look down and texting the whole time.

• 33:12Chris Lee?

  Or then it won't happen to you.

• 33:13Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 33:14Chris Lee?

  One moment that you're not present can affect your life, or it could affect a relationship. Many relationships end because people, they were never present with each other. And being present also implies being present with yourself, be present with your body, listen to your body, listen to what's going on. Sometimes we have, we could have a health issue that we're not paying attention to, that we avoid and it turns into something worse. So it's like, it's really, the point of this that I'm going to share is, is living life present.

• 33:47Chris Lee?

  Could literally not only save your life, transform your relationships, it could transform your businesses. I mean, it can make such a big impact, which is why I want to talk about it. Because I think most people nowadays with social media, the misuse of social media, because social media is not the problem, but the misuse of being so engaged and being in constant, constant engage in other things, we miss this moment. And this moment is the most important moment you have. Because you may not have another one, you may not wake up tomorrow. The plane may not land. Every time I land on an airplane, I am in gratitude. I'm the one who claps. Yay, we made it. People ask me, how's your flight? You're looking at me, right? Good flight. Because I don't take a moment for granted.

• 34:32Chris Lee?

  And so I think that if we live more consciously present and be present with the people that we love, express how we feel today, make every moment count. This will elevate people's lives.

• 34:46Lewis Howes?

  Do you think it's gonna get easier for people or harder?

• 34:49Chris Lee?

  It's getting harder because there's so much more coming at us.

• 34:53Lewis Howes?

  There's distraction and information and tension and news.

• 34:56Chris Lee?

  There's distraction, there's information, there's all these, it's kind of like, you know, the dog that chases the shiny object, you know? It's like, we have attention, it's like, we literally have a collective ADD where there's just so much happening. And also, there's the whole thing of wanting more, more, more, more, more, more money, more followers, more success, more of whatever, something hot or something brighter. And we don't realize that the key to joy and happiness is happening right now. This moment, this is the moment. Because all of those things will never bring fulfillment and don't bring people back and don't bring memories back. You know, some people are so on auto, it's like we live on autopilot

• 35:39Chris Lee?

  that people come in of our lives and we never really, we were ever really present with them. Even parents are like, I never, I've heard this in my training room, I was never present with my children. I missed out on 20 years because I was in, I was in somewhere else. And that happens in everything. And so I'm the guy in your life that's like, look, you know how I am, Louis. I'm like, look at me, you know, I love you. Okay. I'm like, I live that way because I live aware that one day you'll be watching this podcast and I won't be alive. And you won't be, this is going to be recorded forever.

• 36:13Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 36:13Chris Lee?

  We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna be a memory. It's scary at the same time, it inspires me to want to make every moment count.

• 36:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 36:23Chris Lee?

  To want to be present.

• 36:26Lewis Howes?

  I love this. Let's do a recap really quick. The first one is realize that this is the only moment. The second one is embrace and accept where you are. And it's for you.

• 36:37Chris Lee?

  Right, because if you, when you resist, you're missing out on the moment.

• 36:41Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm. The third one is to, to not dabble in the moment is to be all in.

• 36:45Chris Lee?

  To be all in.

• 36:46Lewis Howes?

  On everything that you're experiencing in your life.

• 36:48Chris Lee?

  Yeah, to be all in.

• 36:50Lewis Howes?

  Fourth thing is to be in ownership of the moment you are in. The fifth is have an intention for what you want to create for the day, the moment, anything that's happening. The sixth is to hold people accountable to be present. So if people are distracted, don't allow them to continue that. And the seventh is to be mindful of your movement, your physical space and your body. Because one moment you could end it or injure yourself or hurt yourself.

• 37:15Chris Lee?

  Correct.

• 37:16Lewis Howes?

  So be, be mindful of your body and your movement. I love these keys. I wanted to ask you a couple of final questions.

• 37:22Chris Lee?

  Yeah, sure.

• 37:23Lewis Howes?

  Um, one is, it's about a halfway year mark and you've done 30 years of trainings. But what have you learned in the last six months? That's new or that's been reinforced for you from your trainings? Or just your life in general? Some new lesson that you've had in the last six months?

• 37:46Chris Lee?

  One of the biggest things that I'm, that's really landing this year for me is taking care of me is self-love.

• 37:58Chris Lee?

  And taking care of me is everything from releasing relationships that don't work, taking care of my body, taking care of my health, you know, I got Invisaligns, I was showing you my Invisaligns, you're getting braces.

• 38:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:11Chris Lee?

  You know, these are just things that, that are ways of me loving myself. And I think that as productive people and leaders and people that are committed to making an impact, we forget about ourselves. And so I'm really big on loving yourself, taking care of you. You know, create the space for you to disconnect, to, you know, meditate, to do things that are mindful. So that's really landing for me in a big way. I'm doing things that I haven't done my entire life.

• 38:45Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 38:46Chris Lee?

  You know, like I've done like laser treatment on my face, I'm, you know, exercising, I'm dieting, I'm, I'm, I'm a trainer. I'm doing things that I used to think, I don't have time to do that.

• 38:57Lewis Howes?

  Neglected.

• 38:58Chris Lee?

  I just didn't think it was important.

• 39:00Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. You're going on vacations more, you're taking trips with people you care about.

• 39:05Chris Lee?

  I'm, I'm connecting more, I'm taking time out, I've spent a lot of time with my mom this year. You know, I'm doing things that, that come back to fulfilling me. Not so much about making the money or getting the deal, or I don't, I don't come from that need. I come from a, a place of gratitude. And so that's the biggest key for me that I'm learning and that I'm really, it's really landing in a big way. And so of course I'm lending that for people in my trainings and people like, you know, it's across the board. People would rather take the shirt off their back.

• 39:38Lewis Howes?

  Help someone else.

• 39:39Chris Lee?

  You know, help someone else out, do whatever they need to do for other people, but they don't do it for themselves. So that's one of the key things that are happening.

• 39:46Lewis Howes?

  That's a good lesson.

• 39:47Chris Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:47Lewis Howes?

  What's a lesson you think you still need to learn after that? You know, for the next year or two, where do you need to grow?

• 39:54Chris Lee?

  Oh, I know exactly the answer to that one. My, learning to say no.

• 40:00Chris Lee?

  Because I just love what I do. I love to be in service. I love, you know, to, I was looking, I already have my schedule for 2020.

• 40:09Lewis Howes?

  You're booked the whole year.

• 40:10Chris Lee?

  I'm booked the entire year. And not only am I booked the entire year, there's people that want me to do stuff and I feel bad because I want to do it for them. And for me to say, you know what, I can't do that for you. That's something that I gotta learn to do in a way that empowers me, that I don't feel bad about it. That, you know, because I don't like turning people down. You're the same way.

• 40:29Lewis Howes?

  It's so hard to say no.

• 40:30Chris Lee?

  Right?

• 40:30Lewis Howes?

  I've been doing it this year, I've been pretty good at it. Because a lot of people have asked me for it.

• 40:34Chris Lee?

  You also have people saying no for you.

• 40:36Lewis Howes?

  I do, yeah. But people still get to me direct.

• 40:38Chris Lee?

  Right. Yeah, people, yeah.

• 40:40Lewis Howes?

  It's really hard. I even did something this week. I'll tell you more off camera because it's more of a personal thing that happened with a mutual friend of ours. That I felt like I was put in a really bad situation. That this person asked me to do something for them and I just felt so uncomfortable. They asked me to do it a year ago. I did it and I didn't want to do it.

• 41:02Chris Lee?

  I think I know who you're talking about and I think you shared part of that.

• 41:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, maybe. And then it happened again recently. They needed me to do something again and I felt like, oh man, I already committed to this and I didn't want to do it.

• 41:13Chris Lee?

  Right.

• 41:13Lewis Howes?

  And I was, and so I just said, I can't do this. You're like, no. And I'm like risking the fact that I'm going to lose this relationship over one moment.

• 41:21Chris Lee?

  Right, right, right.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Where it's like, it makes you, you don't want to lose a relationship because of you saying no.

• 41:26Chris Lee?

  Right.

• 41:27Lewis Howes?

  And you, you know, I don't know, I don't want to lose a relationship because of that. So it's like, how do you say yes to please people, say no to please yourself?

• 41:34Chris Lee?

  But then, but then it goes back to my first lesson, which is self-love. Saying no sometimes is saying yes to you.

• 41:41Lewis Howes?

  That's true. That's true.

• 41:42Chris Lee?

  And so that's, that's what I'm, I'm working with.

• 41:45Lewis Howes?

  Well, you got a book. People can get the book, Chris Lee, 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity: Transform Your Life. I wrote the foreword, so make sure you guys go get it. Support our friend Chris. You're on Instagram. Is it still Chris Motivador?

• 41:59Chris Lee?

  Yes, it is.

• 41:59Lewis Howes?

  On Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

• 42:01Chris Lee?

  Chris Lee, motivational trainer.

• 42:03Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 42:04Chris Lee?

  And Instagram, at Chris Motivador.

• 42:07Lewis Howes?

  Motivador. They can come to a training of yours. Seminars, workshops all over the country. If they DM you on Instagram, you do trainings all over the world. You can tell them where to go. Exactly. They can get your book. I love you. I appreciate you. I love you too. You're amazing. I'm so grateful. This is the 300th time we've been on here. You've helped so many people on these podcasts. When we get together and do things, we always have an amazing time. I'm so grateful. You're my life and I love you so. I love you too. Thank you for being here. Appreciate you. Cry. Always.

• 42:44Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friend. I hope you enjoyed this interview with Chris Lee on the seven keys to being present in your life. If you enjoyed it, just share it with a friend. Pay it forward. Be a champion in someone's life. Send them the link, lewishouse.com/818. Or you can just copy the link on the podcast app that you're listening to and just shoot a text to a couple of friends. Post it on social media. The more you share this, the more we can impact the world and grow together. We are constantly bringing you the best people in the world, the best ideas in the world to help you improve your life. So your support means the world to me. It means the world to us by sharing this out there and spreading

• 43:25Lewis Howes?

  this message. Over 120 million downloads we have on the podcast, close to 5 million downloads a month right now. We continue to grow because of you. And my mission is to continue to bring in the most inspirational people for you. Get them to open up and share in ways they've never shared before on The School of Greatness. If you haven't left a review yet, please leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. Just click on the Apple Podcast icon on your phone and just click a rating and a review. Let me know what you thought about this. Our team reads these out to ourselves every week in our weekly team meeting and I want to share them out on social media as well. So leave us a review and a rating over on Apple Podcasts.

• 44:07Lewis Howes?

  Deepak Chopra said, "Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want to do if you stay in the present moment." If you want to get rid of anxiety, stress, fear, insecurities, be present. If you want to eliminate worry and uncertainty, stop focusing on...

• 44:25Lewis Howes?

  The past, because it's not here right now. The only thing that is here is now. The future is coming. It will be here. You want to have dreams about the future, but you don't want to stress about it. You want to live urgently, but you don't want your future to dictate everything in your emotions. Get excited about it.

• 44:48Lewis Howes?

  Live with joy, but be present. The most powerful thing you can do is live in the moment. I love you so very much. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.