790 Be the Greatest You with Trent Shelton

YOU WERE BORN ON PURPOSE. We often think of purpose as something we have to “find.” But what if purpose is something you already have? What if you are your purpose? It’s not something that is temporary or can be taken away. It’s your essence. Other people can tell you what you’re good at. But at the end of the day, it has to resonate with you. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about purpose with a former NFL player who reinvented himself after football: Trent Shelton. Trent Shelton is a former NFL wide receiver who is now considered one of the most impactful speakers of this generation. He reaches over 60 million people weekly through hard-hitting videos and unprecedented engagement. Though based in Fort Worth, Texas with his wife and two children, Trent connects with people all over the world through his speaking engagements. Trent says that he has a magnet inside of him that drew him to his calling of speaking. He says that we all need to find our magnet. He believes that to be the greatest you, you have to find peace. So get ready to find out what really matters so that you can continue to stay true to yourself on Episode 790. Some Questions I Ask: What do you regret about the man you used to be? (13:00) How do we develop a champion mindset? (20:00) How do you maintain a championship mindset? (24:30) Why do you say that you need to burn bridges? (35:00) What’s a demon in your life? (39:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: About Trent’s past infidelities (1:00) The key to making a relationship work (8:00) How to hack fear (19:00) Why “leverage questions” can help you reach your goal (22:00) The five principles of the championship mindset (25:00) About the four “A’s” (50:00) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 790 with Trent Shelton.

• 0:06Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix. The Dalai Lama said, "World peace begins with inner peace." And Albert Einstein said, "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." Welcome to this episode. We've got my man Trent Shelton in the house, who's a former NFL football player, wide receiver, who founded a movement called Rehab Time with over 10 million people following him over on Facebook,

• 1:11Lewis Howes?

  millions on Instagram and YouTube and all over the place online. Some of his videos get 100 million plus views. And he's changed the lives of tens of thousands of people who have gone through different struggles in their life, trying to figure out how to find their purpose, how to get through challenging relationships, how to fulfill their destiny and be their greatest you. And in this interview, we cover how to be a reflection of what you believe and what you truly stand for and stepping into that reflection. Also, we talk about the right ways to treat people and how to treat yourself, how to believe in yourself once you've found your purpose, and how to find your purpose. We cover that whole process. The top five ways to stay focused and to develop a focused mindset.

• 1:56Lewis Howes?

  And the power of peace and why it's Trent's top priority. The power of peace. When you find that inner peace, you can take over anything in the outer world. And as you listen to this episode with Trent Shelton, make sure to share it with your friends, LewisHowes.com/790. Just take a screenshot of this right now, post it on your Instagram stories, tag myself, Lewis Howes, and at Trent Shelton. And let us know what you enjoyed about this episode. Without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only Trent Shelton.

• 2:34Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got my man Trent Shelton in the house, brother. Good to see you. Glad you're here. You're looking lean and mean.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Thank you, man. Definitely lighter than the last time.

• 2:45Lewis Howes?

  Last time you were here, you were a little chubby. You know, you looked like a little marshmallow man. Michelin Man in the house.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Yes, man.

• 2:51Lewis Howes?

  But you've been training hard lately.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  I have.

• 2:53Lewis Howes?

  I like it, man. We got to hang out a few weeks ago in Puerto Rico.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:56Lewis Howes?

  It's good to do a run with you and a workout, leading the HIIT workout for all of us with Dean and the crew. And you've got a new book out, man. I'm excited about this because last time we talked, we kept saying like, when's the book gonna happen?

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:08Lewis Howes?

  And this is called The Greatest You. Make sure you guys pick it up. Check it out. It's out right now. You guys can get it. Face Reality, Release Negativity, and Live Your Purpose.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:17Lewis Howes?

  And you've been inspiring people for, what is it, five, six years now with your online content? Or longer now?

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Longer. It started 10 years ago in 2009, but I would say 2011 is where I got really focused.

• 3:27Lewis Howes?

  And it started to kind of really take off.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  About 2012. Yep.

• 3:30Lewis Howes?

  Now you got over 10, how many, you have 10 million on Facebook?

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Right, 10 million on Facebook.

• 3:35Lewis Howes?

  A couple million on Instagram and everywhere else. Just keeps blowing up. And all your videos seem like they have 100 million views. Just like, you're really intentional about your message and you speak to people's heart. And I think a lot of people are struggling right now and you bring this, this voice and this message because you've been through the struggle as well. In your book, you talk about this, but you're, you're married and you've got some beautiful kids right now. Another one on the way. But back in the day, you weren't like this perfect like husband boyfriend.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Not at all.

• 4:05Lewis Howes?

  You, um, tell us a story. You were dating someone, but then you had a baby with someone else at the same time. You were off and on. What was going on?

• 4:13Speaker 01

  It was tough, man. So it was my first year in NFL and just throughout college, man, like that was a lifestyle. I mean, growing up, that was the picture of success. You know, it's money, cars, women. That's what we thought success was. So I wanted all those things when I got it. And so I got caught up in that lifestyle that was new to me at 21 years old, 22 years old. Had a off and on relationship. That's no excuse to do what I did, but it was off and on. And she actually lived in New York and I was in Indy. So it kind of gave me room to do what I wanted to do. Exactly, exactly.

• 4:44Lewis Howes?

  Have fun.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Exactly. And live my life at that point, man. And um, I ended up meeting Maria just being out. She was in.

• 4:51Lewis Howes?

  Indianapolis.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Indianapolis, yeah, in Indy. Beautiful. I mean, when I first saw her, I was like, man, she's bad. You know, I was like, just being honest.

• 4:58Lewis Howes?

  She was a bad girl.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, and um, we messed around and we were friends, ended up getting her pregnant.

• 5:05Lewis Howes?

  And that was. While you were dating someone else?

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yes. See, that was tough, man. That was really tough because even on a deeper level, the girl I was dating, our families were really close. Like I've been knowing her since I was born. Like our family, our moms are best friends. And so it became very much a lot of friction.

• 5:22Lewis Howes?

  The betrayal, the lies.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 5:24Lewis Howes?

  The deceit, the.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Everything. And I was hurting more than just her. So now my mom and her mom are not friends. Well, they're friends now, but at that time. Yeah, they were going back and forth to each other because, you know, each was trying to protect their child. And it was like the first time I had to face reality. Like, you know, there's things you can run from, there's things you can hide, but like a pregnancy you can't hide.

• 5:44Lewis Howes?

  You can't hide from that.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  I'm asking my homeboys like, hey, what should I do? They're like, man, don't, just, just don't worry about it. Don't tell her now. Just let it blow over. And just I had to face my reality, man. I was like, I can't keep living like that. Like, let me face it. And I faced it and it was bad. It was really bad.

• 5:59Lewis Howes?

  What happened when you faced it? What did you tell the girl you're dating?

• 6:02Speaker 01

  I told her and um, I actually got kicked out of her apartment at the time and had like instant karma. I was trying to fly back to Texas and it was like a snowstorm in New York and I got stuck in the airport that day. It was bad.

• 6:14Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  So um.

• 6:15Lewis Howes?

  She's screaming at you. She's upset. She's hurt.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was bad. It was very bad. And uh, you know. Of course, over time, and even being, me being not a, just rude to Maria too. Like, I was blaming her. I was trying to blame everybody for my mistakes. So I'm blaming her, telling her like, it's your fault and, and not being a man I should have been to her during her pregnancy.

• 6:36Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  So for the first five or six months in her pregnancy, um, I wasn't too active, just to be honest with you.

• 6:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  I had a wake up call because I had no excuse. My father was there for me my whole entire life. I grew up in a good household. And, uh, I was like, man, like, I'm about to have a son and I refuse to be that guy. No matter what the situation is with his baby mother, use that as an excuse or reason not to be in his life. And so I had a conversation with Maria and I said, listen, we don't have to be together. We don't have to like each other, but let's make this about our son Tristan. And we both agreed on that and we came to an understanding and as time grew, we grew closer to each other and we got to really know each other. And peel back all the layers of our past and everything. And I mean, we're married now for three years going on four.

• 7:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow, man. So you, how long were you together with your first child, just being, you know, co-parents? Not being together, but just parenting?

• 7:30Speaker 01

  About seven years.

• 7:31Lewis Howes?

  Seven years?

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, Tristan's 10. Yeah, about seven years.

• 7:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So you weren't together in the seven years. You were just?

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Off and on. Yeah, parenting, off and on. So probably about three of those years, we were together.

• 7:43Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Three of those years.

• 7:44Lewis Howes?

  And you broke, why'd you break up?

• 7:46Speaker 01

  No, we didn't break up. So the first four, right, we were just?

• 7:50Lewis Howes?

  Friends?

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Friends, parent, off and on, like friends, enemies, parent, all of that stuff, you know, just the emotions. And then we just finally came to, I feel like a, a mature place. So we're young, a mature place. And then we put all our differences aside and we realized like, we really had chemistry and love for each other and we got to know each other on a deeper level. And then that started our relationship and we've been together ever since.

• 8:11Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Okay. So three, four years ago, you, you started the relationship?

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:15Lewis Howes?

  Where you've been together?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 8:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Did you get married too or no?

• 8:18Speaker 01

  When?

• 8:19Lewis Howes?

  Did you get married too then?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Uh, no, that was, yeah, we got married, well, three years ago.

• 8:22Lewis Howes?

  Three years ago. That's when you got you?

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:24Lewis Howes?

  Okay. So you got together, got married, and then you had second child, now you have a third one on the way?

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Yep, third one on the way.

• 8:30Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing, man.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, we definitely like. I tell people all the time, that story definitely beat the odds, man, just of having to go through that. So I understand like co-parenting and you know, when I talk to men, I understand like having the troubles. Cause Tristan, he lived in Indianapolis for a while and like I was in Seattle playing and I was in Washington and then, and it was funny, like every time I would bring him in and try to make it work, I got cut. So it was like, is this like not meant to be? And even being in Texas, being away, so I understand that, but also like I really wanted to fight to be in his life. And it wasn't about making a relationship work for Tristan, though at the same time, because I knew that wouldn't keep us together. So we had to love each other, know each other, kind of despite Trent, you know what I'm saying? As friends.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Exactly. Cause a lot of people will get into relationships or get married because they have a kid together. And they think that's the kid's gonna keep them together and that's absolutely not. Or they can, Mike can bring you together, but that child or children cannot keep you together. And we knew that. So we had to figure out like. What's gonna keep someone together? I think in a relationship, just first of all, connection and selflessness. And really understand that you really love that person, like not because that's your baby mom or your baby dad. Of course, that's a factor, but I love you for who you are despite anything else, right? Anything external, I love your internal self. So we have to realize that and really come to grips with that.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  When did you realize like, oh, this isn't just my baby mom, this is co-parenting, but this is someone that I truly have feelings for. I love her soul. When did you realize? The moment, I can't remember the exact feeling or moment, but I know it was around the time when she moved down and she said, it's so funny. She moved down to Texas? She moved down to Texas and she said, it wasn't for me, right? That was, that's what she said. And she still stands by this by that day, but. She's moved down to your city. She moved down to Fort Worth, cause Indy, she felt like no against anybody in Indianapolis, but just Fort Worth is a better opportunity. And she always said, well, if it didn't work out with you, there's other guys in Fort Worth and Texas is better than Indy, right? So she moved down and when I realized that, man, is

• 10:34Speaker 01

  how, once we put our immaturity aside and became mature, how she had every right, because I was struggling. Like she had every right in the world at that point to like beat me down. I really could barely provide. It's for my child, cause I'm playing arena football. I mean, you know how that is, right? You know that check?

• 10:51Lewis Howes?

  When was this?

• 10:52Speaker 01

  This was in twenty, probably twenty eleven.

• 10:55Lewis Howes?

  Oh man, yeah, you're making it probably a thousand.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  This wasn't like the old arena football, right?

• 10:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. Five hundred a week, baby?

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Exactly, definitely for the love of the game at that point.

• 11:04Lewis Howes?

  Oh man.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  So I'm struggling with that. I'm trying to train kids on the side. And so I'm in a vulnerable position as a, as a man, not being a provider. And she had every right to be like, okay, this is my time to shoot shots at him and tear him down. But instead she built me up.

• 11:18Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Big time. She built me up.

• 11:20Lewis Howes?

  How so?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Just by encouraging me. Like when she realized, cause I had just started rehab, like rehab time started in twenty, in two thousand nine. But this is the moment when I started to realize like, okay, this is something as far as me speaking and as far as a brand and building it. And so she was there at the beginning with me making T-shirts and writing, helping me write every single name on a package and going to the post office.

• 11:42Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  And that moment.

• 11:43Lewis Howes?

  And she was there for you even when you weren't together?

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Big time. Big time.

• 11:48Lewis Howes?

  So you probably started to feel like, wow, this girl's really got my back. She really cares.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  In the ugly.

• 11:52Lewis Howes?

  And I'm not really treating her well and she's still there for me.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  In the ugly moment, because when I met her, you know, I was a football player. That was my, my highlight. So I could say, well, maybe she's with me because of that, right? Because that's my beautiful, my beautiful success. But when it was the dark moment in my life, my rock bottom, and she was there, still there for me. And she was like, she could've just been like rehab time, like, no, you need to get a real job. And other people were telling me that. She was like, I don't know, like what it is you're gonna do, but I'll help support and I'll believe in you.

• 12:23Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  With that. So she like held it down.

• 12:26Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty inspiring.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  And so it was always my goal to flip it and be like, hey, you don't have to work anymore. And, and now she's an influencer herself, but it's cool to be able to do that. But yeah, she had my back when, when a lot of people didn't.

• 12:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  And so that gained a lot of. A lot of like, I'm big on that, man. Like when you have nothing, when you're going through something, like who's really gonna be there for you? Who's gonna have your back? And sometimes it's the people closest to you that you think would, that that wouldn't. Especially when it's a person that, like she had every right to come back at me. Because how I treated her, you know, previously and during her pregnancy. But she went past all that and said, you know what? I see something inside of you and I believe in you and I'm gonna support you. And she never belittled me, never made me feel like less during that time.

• 13:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow, very inspiring. What do you think, um, what do you think it's about? That's inside of her that made her be able to do that without being resentful or angry at you? But actually put her feelings aside and support you like that?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  I don't know, man. So we have to call it right now and that's the good, but um.

• 13:28Lewis Howes?

  Is that more of like a female quality in general? Or is that just like you got lucky with her on accident, kind of?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  I think it could be a human quality with people, you know, I just, I mean, it just depends on the person and their heart. And I think she really had genuine, you know, love for me, you know, too, like. And of course, I'm the father of her son. Her dad passed away when she was 14. And so maybe she thinks that, or maybe she knows that, you know, make sure Trent's there, you know, as a man. Like I want to fully support him and make him the best man he can be for Tristan.

• 14:01Lewis Howes?

  Whether we're together or not.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 14:03Lewis Howes?

  But did she always want to be with you? Was that part of like her vision?

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Um.

• 14:08Lewis Howes?

  Or she like, screw this guy?

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I believe she was attracted to me and I believe she wanted to be with me. But I think after all the mess that was going on and that whole thing of within that, you know, span of years. Uh, I think she got to the point where she didn't want to be with me. But I think it was kind of a conflict back and forth.

• 14:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. What do you regret about those couple of years where you were kind of the nastier version of yourself? To her, to maybe people in your life, maybe to yourself? What do you regret? That you did or said, and what would you say to yourself if you could go back and talk to that guy?

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Man, the things I regret is just hurting people. You know how it feels to be hurt, as far as like anybody watching this, I know how it feels to be hurt. So why would I wanna put that on the people when I wouldn't want that put on myself by other people? And so I would always tell myself, I mean, I know it's the simplest phrase in life, but treat people how you wanna be treated. Give the respect you wish to receive, give the loyalty you wish to receive. Because a lot of people say, you know, I want loyalty, I want loyalty, but they don't give loyalty. You know, or they don't give support. I want people to support me. Well, who are you supporting? And so for me, it's going back and saying, you know, be a reflection of what you believe and what you truly stand for. And make sure you pass it on to other people and set that tone.

• 15:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think I talked to Matthew Hussey, who's a friend of mine, he's a relationship coach for women. He told me one time, like, a lot of women will ask me, like, how do you find the one? Like, how do you attract the one, the person you wanna be with? He's like, make a list of all the qualities you want from that person, and then go be those things. So write down every quality you wanna attract from that person and start being that thing. You know, if you want a loyal man, be a loyal woman. If you wanna a giving, a caring, compassionate guy, you know, be that towards other people.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:55Lewis Howes?

  And you'll attract that, so that's powerful, man. Wow. I'm curious to know, you had your vision was, your purpose was to be an athlete, right? As a kid, you wanted to be a professional athlete.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 16:05Lewis Howes?

  Is that?

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was true to say.

• 16:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. But then, things got off track, and you got cut, you play arena ball for a hundred bucks a week, or whatever we're getting paid.

• 16:17Lewis Howes?

  Then, whatever happened there, did you get injured, or did you just decide this is not worth it anymore?

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Well, it happened, you know, they have the UFL at that time?

• 16:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  So I got signed to the UFL, so I left arena, got signed to the UFL.

• 16:27Lewis Howes?

  Like, three weeks.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Never happened, right? It folded, and then, that's why I was like, alright. And then I went and signed again with the Voodoo, but I never made it to the Voodoo's training camp.

• 16:36Lewis Howes?

  Team, yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:37Lewis Howes?

  Okay, so you just were like, okay, I'm not playing anymore, I gotta figure out what to do next.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:41Lewis Howes?

  When someone gets, has a purpose or a dream that they pursue, and they get a taste of it. And then their entire identity shifts into something else. How do they figure out what their purpose is now?

• 16:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I have a, I have a take about purpose and I want to touch on it. And a lot of people, I haven't really heard it said like this and it's actually in the book. I actually wrote the book, the chapter of the book and I went back probably months later. I was like, I'm gonna take this, I want to change it. And so I get that question a lot, right? How do I find my purpose? And my thing is this, I don't know if purpose is something that you necessarily find. You know, I don't know if the world has your purpose, right? I think we go like, where is it at? Like, is it down the street? You know, where, who has it? And so I think when, when we look for it like that, we can end up lost or finding something that might be a pretend purpose or something that are, you know, are wants, like are really wanting. And we say, okay, this is my purpose now.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  I think you are a purpose as a person. That's what I've been saying. When I said that, it kind of changed my life. So I say, I am purpose. You were born on purpose. I mean, of course, you know, the nerd statistics about like you, the chance of you being used like zero percent chance. And your parents have to come together, the sperms, whatever. So like, I'm like, you're, if you're looking for a miracle, you're that miracle. It's like, do you realize that? So you are a purpose. And when I really embodied that and, and really like understood that, I realized that my purpose isn't rehab time. Because that can be lost. My purpose isn't football because that can be lost. My purpose is Trent Shelton at my peer. Who am I? Because when I understand that, I can go in any placement, right? I feel those are placements.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  I can go in any of those placements and actually live my full potential, actually make a difference, actually use my life to bring betterment in this world. And so that's helped me in the process of not getting attached to something and allowing something to become, you know, a temporary identity. So I literally can leave here now and be that purpose. I can go talk to somebody outside. So you don't need all these different things.

• 18:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  And people say, well, what's my, what's the avenue, right? Of course, we look for that. What's the?

• 18:50Lewis Howes?

  What's the placement?

• 18:51Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 18:51Lewis Howes?

  What's the placement?

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Mechanism. Exactly. And I just feel like with that, you know, it's kind of a deeper soul search. So like with me being a speaker, I never wanted to be a speaker. I thought being a speaker was corny, you know? I didn't grow up, it's like, I want to be a speaker when I grow up. I wasn't in the personal development. Like, I was raised pretty much on hip hop, to be honest with you, you know? And When I look back now, I realize how many times people have put the calling in my life for this, or people have identified that. Because I'm naturally an introverted person, but when I would speak, people would say, "Man, like, you're gonna be a powerful speaker. I can probably name four or five times in my life." And so I think that-

• 19:27Lewis Howes?

  It's speaking into you.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Exactly, and that magnet that you have inside of you, you start to realize, I call it the magnet because it's what attracts people to you. And when you understand your magnet, that's when your power is released. So I realized, like, people identified my magnet way back then, I just was too blind and too wrapped up into what I wanted to do, that I couldn't even feel that. So, maybe a step that somebody can do, like, ask people, like, what is it about you that gravitates people? Like, what's your magnet? I'm sure people will tell you, it's like, "Oh, it's your smile," or "it's the way you speak," or "it's the way you do this and that." And then you just gotta go do trial and error. Test it out.

• 20:02Lewis Howes?

  Try different stuff, yeah. See what you like. I think at the end of the day, you can have a lot of people telling you what you could be good at too, like- but it's gotta resonate with you at the end of the day.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  A gentleman.

• 20:12Lewis Howes?

  You've gotta be the one that says, "Yeah, I wanna do that," or "I wanna try that, explore that." And you're gonna figure out quickly, like, maybe if everyone said, "You're gonna be a great speaker, and you did it for a year and you hated it." You're like, "Well, at least I tried it, and I don't have to think about it anymore, and maybe I can speak in a different way. Maybe I can do these creative videos where I get to speak my message online, but I'm not in front of a big stage of people." So you can still figure out a mechanism in a different way with your gift.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:37Lewis Howes?

  And try different stuff. So, maybe it's like, you loved writing, and everyone said, "Oh, you should go write books." And you try it, and you really didn't enjoy the process, but you liked writing movies, you liked writing TV shows, you liked a different creative process within that mechanism. So, yeah, I think that's a great idea of saying, "I am purpose."

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, it just empowers you. Now you're not, like, feeling like you're, you know, incapable of doing stuff.

• 21:02Lewis Howes?

  So how does someone, when they figure out, "Okay, this is the gift that I have. I'm born with purpose, because I am that purpose. And I have this talent, this gift, this attribute that adds value to other people."

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:16Lewis Howes?

  So I'm gonna go start doing this thing. But how do I actually believe in myself and develop a champion's mind of like, I want to do something at a high level?

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:25Lewis Howes?

  How do I develop that mindset when there's so much competition? There's so many people who are better than me. I'm so far behind. I'm so young. I'm so old. I'm so whatever. I don't have the resources yet. How do I develop a mindset of belief that my purpose is something that I should go all in on?

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. This is a impactful question, man. Go through layers in it. So there's a lot of ways. I mean, I think one thing that you can do, I think fear is a part of that, right? Might not go all in because you're fearful of, like you said, you might not be as great as someone else or you might not, you know, succeed in that field. So for one, understanding where fear is, which for me, it's, it's basically just creating a known result from a situation we haven't experienced yet. So you're telling yourself what it's going to be before you ever go to do it. So of course you're not going to go do it, you know? So.

• 22:18Lewis Howes?

  If you believe this result is going to happen, it's going to be bad.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 22:22Lewis Howes?

  I'm going to fail. I'm going to look stupid. Everyone's going to make fun of me. Then you're probably not going to want to do it.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Exactly. Or be able to give your, like, it's like playing football. Like you go out there and like, we're going to lose or I'm going to have a terrible game. More than likely, you're going to have a terrible game. It's going to be hard to operate at a high level. So I've just learned to, I always say like, if fear was a door and behind this door was all this negativity, things that I'm saying like, I'm going to lose, I'm going to suck. I'm never going to walk through that door. So in order for me to walk through the door, even though the door is super scary, I have to make empowering things on this side of the door. I'm going to learn. I'm going to grow. Even if I don't win, it's going to be something valuable in it. So let me walk through this door, right? Even though it might not be perfect, I'm still going to find growth inside of it. So to me, that's like a small little trick to like really hack fear and get over fear.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  And also, of course, it's, Brendan talks about this a lot, like not just repetition, but like really like focused repetition, like finding an area and say, you know what? I'm going to get better at this because sometimes fear comes from not being prepared. You know, I mean, we go back to sports. If I'm going to a game, then watch tape, then do any of this stuff, I'm gonna be pretty scared or taking the test, you know? Yeah. So preparation also is a part of that. And so I would just tell people, you know, you gotta, you gotta figure out all that, how to get over fear, but just go out there and do it. And one way to go out there and do it, I use leverage questions. Like what? So I go all out, bro. Like, this might be over the top stuff, but... So I was running, running, what's the side, uh, next to running, I don't know what the trail was.

• 23:56Speaker 01

  My friend took me on, like a back trail. And as I'm running, it sucks, it's uphill, my heart rate is like zone five. And I just tell myself, like, if I quit on this, then I'm not living it for rehab. If I quit, then I'm putting a mindset in myself that's a quitter. And my son and my daughter are gonna feel that. Like, I go over the top with it, so I don't give up. And so with leverage questions, it can be anything. Like, it can be the simple leverage question that tomorrow is not promised. I mean, that's one of the best ones, right? A hundred and fifty thousand people die every day, tomorrow is not promised. So if I'm not going after it, then I'm gonna die incomplete. Wow. I'm gonna die being a person that I wasn't created to be. Like, I wanna meet the greatest me, I wanna meet my full potential.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  So I, I told, uh, Tom this yesterday about, I would literally go to cemeteries at one point, and this seems super creepy, like, and weird. But I would go to cemeteries after my friend committed suicide. Death became so surreal to me because it was somebody that was like next to me. I would go to cemeteries sometimes with my friend and just walk around and be like, bro, we're gonna be here one day. Wow. And it's like, you look at the tombstones, you realize that death has no preference. You know, different ages, it's five-year-olds or eighty-year-olds, it's black, it's white, it's women, it's men, it's children, it's adults. And it just made it super surreal for me. So gain leverage. Right in your life, like what's something that's gonna make you move? That's all you have to do is move. Take that first step, that's the most important step in the journey.

• 25:22Speaker 01

  And listen, you're gonna fall in your place, you're gonna be embarrassed, but everybody who's experienced greatness has been through that. Like you didn't get through a hundred million to a hundred million downloads overnight, right? I'm sure you went through things, you probably had podcasts, you're like, I'm throwing this one away. Like when I first started. Right, so go through that and study people who've been through it to give you that confidence.

• 25:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's good, man. How else do you develop a champion mind for yourself? Like how do you, how do you push through your, your dad, you're gonna have three kids here soon? You've got traveling all the time, you've got book launches, videos every day, all this stuff. How do you stay in that mindset consistently? And do you drop off ever?

• 25:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course, I drop off.

• 26:00Lewis Howes?

  That was last year when I saw you. Thirty pounds ever.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Everybody knew I dropped off, I posted a video, I was like, sure you gain weight? I was like, that's from last year. But um, I, of course, like, yeah, I don't have perfect days, you know, I'm, I'll be the first. I have days where I'm lazy, I have days where, I have times where I doubt myself, all these things. So everything I talk about, like I could practice it myself, sometimes when I'm making video, I'm preaching it to myself. But uh, how I keep a championship mindset is I understand these five principles in the championship mindset, I understand these words that everybody's heard before. But I think when you break it up, like I've studied high level people. Like I've been around, of course, athletes, I've been around people as yourself and we all have these qualities, like everybody has them. So number one is commitment. And commitment, uh, stand loyal to what you said you were gonna do

• 26:48Speaker 01

  long after the mood you said is left.

• 26:50Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, being your word.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Exactly. So when that mood leaves, who are you gonna be? So some people might be watching this podcast, they're gonna be hype or whatever, and it's like, I'm changing everything. Which is great, but we know when real life hits, who are you gonna be? Call it the New Year's Eve mindset, right? New year, new me. So you gotta find commitment and I would just challenge people, like find something small to stay committed to. I mean, fitness is a great thing, say, hey, I'm gonna go to the gym, you know, maybe two days a week, three days a week. And stay committed to that, because if you can't be committed to the small things, don't expect big results and big things to happen.

• 27:21Lewis Howes?

  Boom, yep.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  The second thing is discipline. My definition of discipline is probably the easiest definition ever, just get good at saying no to the things that don't get you a yes. And that's very hard because there's temptation out there. There's just bad habits that are just waiting for you to start doing. So maybe it's your friends. Maybe you gotta start saying no to your friends. And maybe, you know, your friends aren't bad friends. It's just that when you around them, they're not doing the things that you want to do. Or they're not at a place where you wanna go. Like, I had to leave some friends behind, not because they were bad to me. It's just that hanging around them, I knew that mindset was contagious. And I knew I wasn't strong enough to be around them because I would fall victim to that lifestyle. Right. So I had to let them go. I used to like to part, like I tell people, it's like, oh, how'd you stop partying?

• 28:06Speaker 01

  And like, I was like, I used to love partying and going out. Like, I probably still do like it, to be honest with you. Like, it's fun. But I just tell myself, like, where is this leading me? I mean, I'm six, seven hours in a club and, you know, you're hungover. Exactly. And it's like, where is this really going? You know, it's just like a false sense of fulfillment that actually moves me nowhere. And so, think about that. Like, that's discipline. Discipline is, you know, you saying no to the cake or the pot that you really love. Like, discipline is not saying no to things you hate. It's easy. It's saying no to the things that you love or like that won't get you to a place where you would love to be. Mmm, that's good. Okay. Third thing is the magic word for everything, consistency. Yep.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  And my definition of consistency is anchor your actions in greatness so daily you produce nothing less than your very best. So when you're consistent, you become reliable. When you're reliable, you become a trustworthy person. People always ask Trent, like, what was your thing with rehab time? How did you grow? And I just tell people, I've been consistent and living the purpose. You, you've been consistent. Like, consistency pays off. Consistency makes you a go-to person. If I was an off-and-on person or came with an off-and-on switching, one minute on my page, I'm talking about positivity. The next one, I'm talking about something just to go viral. People wouldn't come there. People come because I know Trent is gonna talk about something with self-worth or something with growth. I'm gonna listen to Louis because he's gonna have somebody or even himself pouring into it. So I know I can go here.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  And also, I can tell other people to go there because I trust the information that they're giving. Yeah. So be consistent. Like, you don't have to be the most talented, the most whatever. But if you're consistent, it will always pay off. Mmm, love it, man. The fourth thing is faith. And faith for me is believing the odds are beatable even when the odds say it's impossible. And that's simply faith. Faith is just knowing that even though you can't see it, right? Even though it's not right there in your face, it's gonna happen. It's the gardener's mindset. It's being able to plant a seed and water the seed and, you know, you're taking care of this this seed and you don't see the growth happening on top of the surface, but you have the mindset, you have the knowledge to know that if I'm doing these things, if I'm putting in the

• 30:14Speaker 01

  work, if I'm, you know, creating the right habits, if I'm making the right sacrifices, there's growth taking place that I can't even see. And then one day, boom, right? That fruit or that crop comes up. I learned that from my grandpa because I was so impatient with that. I'm like, we just planted like yesterday, where is it at? And then next week and then I have to come back to visit him and then finally that crop would be there. And he always told me, he's like, there's something going on beneath the surface, growth taking place that you can't see. And you have to know that growth is happening even when you can't see it. Yeah. And it's the same thing with your business. Evidence, relationship, health. You gotta know, if you're doing the right things, it's going to happen. Yeah.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  And for me, that's always kept me, you know, focused, just understanding that faith, like, man, I'm doing the right stuff, so it's gonna pay off. Even in fitness, I mean, you, if a week or two, you're not seeing major results. But you know, you keep doing it, then one day you take off your shirt or you're running and you're like, man, I'm tired. I'm light. Yeah, you know, I'm good. Yeah. So put in the work. Um, fifth thing is heart. And heart is finding the strength to give more even when everything else, even yourself, says you have nothing left. And my demonstration of that would be kind of that marathon mindset. Just I think it's like mile 19, they say, right? It's like the mile or mile 21. It just catches up to you. Yeah, just like, I can't do anymore.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  But you keep pushing on, you keep pushing through. And, you know, everybody talks about the why and the reason. And you have to use those leverage questions in your heart because there's gonna be a time when life sucks, there's gonna be a time when everything in your business, your personal life might not be going right, right? When things hit the fan, when the pressure is on your life. But you have to know that as long as I keep pushing through, as long as I keep moving forward, the breakthrough is near, right? Sometimes in order to have a breakthrough, you gotta... Damn near break down.

• 32:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  That's what a breakthrough is, right? So that's the championship mindset and those are things that I reminded, I remind myself daily to practice and to keep in place with my life.

• 32:16Lewis Howes?

  You're training for a marathon right now?

• 32:17Speaker 01

  I'm actually, it's funny, I'm actually running a half marathon on Sunday with Rachel and Dave.

• 32:22Lewis Howes?

  This in Texas?

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Yes, because they asked me and I was just like, I said yes before I thought about it.

• 32:27Lewis Howes?

  When did they ask you?

• 32:28Speaker 01

  They asked me like a few weeks ago.

• 32:30Lewis Howes?

  Puerto Rico?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like, we're in a marathon, you should do it. I'm just like, a half marathon, I'm like, alright. But I've been, I've been training like six miles.

• 32:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you'd be fine.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, I was like, I was like, man, I should have like waited till I said yes first.

• 32:43Lewis Howes?

  In Austin?

• 32:44Speaker 01

  In Austin, yo.

• 32:45Lewis Howes?

  I think it's.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Or Waco, it's in Waco, that's why I did it too. Baylor is in Waco, so what's my college is, I was like, cool.

• 32:50Lewis Howes?

  You know, I think it's powerful for us when we make commitments on things that scare us before we're ready. Because then we get ready.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 32:57Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean? It's like, ah, maybe you didn't want to do that, or maybe you're not ready for it, but you had four weeks or whatever it is, five weeks to, okay, let me get my, my game to another level now. Let me be even more diligent, more committed, disciplined, consistent, and believe that like I'm gonna be able to push through by creating a routine now for this game plan, for this goal.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 33:18Lewis Howes?

  And so you've probably been more disciplined in the last four weeks than you were before that because you knew you had something at stake.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  And I don't want to go through that, that, that process of like not being in shape for it, because that's hard.

• 33:30Lewis Howes?

  And I think a lot of us don't have enough at stake in our life.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 33:33Lewis Howes?

  We, we don't have enough at stakeness. That's why I think it's important to challenge yourself every year with big challenges, something that's like, gosh, can I do that? It doesn't have to be a marathon, but maybe you could start out at a 5K or whatever it may be, you can start off with something or you don't have to write a whole book in a year, but you can get started on something. I think the, the bigger the challenge, the more committed you become to your life.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:56Lewis Howes?

  Like you step up to, uh, to something greater than yourself, you're leaning to that faith, you're like, wow, I've never thought I could do this. But I gotta figure it out because I made a commitment to myself and I want to honor the commitment. And when you follow through on some big challenge like this for yourself, you gain so much confidence and belief and poise and grace. And when you continually do that, week or month or year after year, you just become better and better. You become the greatest you when you have big stakes in your life, I believe.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  No, I definitely agree with you on that, bro.

• 34:30Lewis Howes?

  So it's like, it's almost like, okay, I had the baby before I was ready to get married. But then you like leaned into it and you grew up and you got ready for, for the marriage and the relationship, but that was a big stake.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Big stake, bro.

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  It's probably, it's probably not the best way to go.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  I wouldn't tell you to go, yeah. Don't go use that as your stake, but you're right, though.

• 34:48Lewis Howes?

  Maybe you wouldn't have risen to

• 34:50Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have.

• 34:51Lewis Howes?

  who you are now

• 34:51Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have.

• 34:52Lewis Howes?

  without having a child. Maybe you're like, I'm gonna have fun for the next 10 years.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have.

• 34:55Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna play around.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  I wouldn't have. You're right. I mean, absolutely. I've said that, like, Tristan made me like really become a man and man up because my life became bigger than me. And somebody else's life depended on me, like for the first time. Of course, you have your brothers and your family, but like having somebody directly that's your responsibility, like it made me man up. It made me look at myself and be like, I don't know if I ever told you this, but like the first thing that I told Tristan, he couldn't talk, but I, I told him in my head, you know, I don't want you to grow up to be like me. And that like hurts as a father. You know what I'm saying? And he's gonna, cause he's gonna, the whole saying, you know, um, uh, listen to what I, don't do what I do, listen to what I say, whatever that thing, like, okay. Like no kid ever does that. They're literally watching what you do.

• 35:37Lewis Howes?

  Your example. So you needed to become the example that you're speaking into.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  And everything. And even now, like, I like to see him, watch me, you know, hey dad, where'd you go? I ran six miles. And just planning that, oh, I'm doing this, I'm working. So he's seeing that and he's seeing that example. So now, you know, he wants to go do more. He's seeing what it takes. I'm like, I don't play sports no more and I'm having to do this. So you wanna make it to NFL? You better start getting on it, you know? But now he sees it in me. I'm not just talking it. I'm living and that's the best way of influence is to actually be like an example. You talk about burning bridges. Yeah. Why do we need to burn bridges in our life and what does that mean? Yeah, so let me be, let me be clear about this part. You don't need to burn every bridge in your life, right? If there's an argument, there's something that like, don't burn certain bridges.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  But there are certain bridges in your life that lead you back to destruction, that lead you back to pain, that lead you back to a toxic place in your life. Those bridges that don't serve you, you have to burn them. Because if you don't, don't think you're so strong that, you know, you can, oh, I can, I can have this in my life, I'm strong enough not to go back here. No, you gotta let it go. You have to literally like, burn up the boats, right? And let it go. So what are those bridges in your life? Maybe it's friends, maybe it's habits, maybe it's addictions, maybe it's your mindset. You have to burn those bridges because when you do that, you have no choice now but to move forward and build the bridges in your life that need to be built. Like, I, I wouldn't be able to build the bridges that I built with you, that I build with other people if I would have had these same bridges.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  I can promise you, because I wouldn't be in this world. My mindset wouldn't have brought me into personal development, wouldn't have brought me into doing what I do now. So I had to burn certain bridges. What can people do to evaluate those parts of their life? Should they, there's, write a list of like their closest friends, family, of like habits? Like, what are the things they should be thinking about? So, a simple thing that they can do is write a list of, I always say it's people, or habits too, write a list and just put a D or E by it, right? A D is for drain, an E is for energize. Yeah. And that's it. And so if somebody has, I say like a CD, like consistently draining you, then those people don't need to be in your life. It's just facts. If somebody's consistently draining you, if nobody, they're never pouring nothing into you

• 37:50Speaker 01

  and you're always pouring into them, you're gonna be empty. A relationship should be reciprocated. It should, they should pour back into you. So are they consistently draining? Now, you're gonna have people in your life that drain you, that need to stay there. You're gonna have that. But- There's people in your life that are, you know, consistently bringing drama, gossip, problems to you. Like, you're never happy, you're never fulfilled around them. You have to let those people go. And then energizes, are these people bringing energy to my life, positivity into my life, bringing growth into my life? Even though they might not tell me everything I want to hear, they're telling me things that I need to hear, they're challenging me. They're making me see a bigger vision. Like, when I talk to some of my friends, like, and some of my peers, I don't want to hear what they have to say sometimes, because it's exposing me. But I love that, because I know in that exposure, I have to grow from it.

• 38:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  So, that's an easy way to do it.

• 38:37Lewis Howes?

  So just make a list of the people in your life first, and then maybe the activities in your life, the habits, the addictions, things like that. Instead, does this give you energy, or take energy from it, drain, or, or, or energy?

• 38:48Speaker 01

  In a great way with your friends, check your text messages. Your text message groups. Like, I literally had to realize that a lot of my text messages with certain people, like, I would do the history, I would just look, see what we've been talking, we're talking about.

• 39:00Lewis Howes?

  Nonsense.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Nonsense. Didn't go anywhere. And then I have a group of people where we're talking about goals, growth, family.

• 39:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  Things that.

• 39:08Lewis Howes?

  Successes, everything.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  So I say, you know, I want more of these conversations in my phone, and less of these. So you can tell a person's lifestyle by their text message threads. Straight up.

• 39:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Look at your texts, I like that. Okay. Now, you've gotten to a place in your life, it seems, where you've got such clear energy. I mean, since the last time I saw you, you're no longer Marshm- Marshmallow Man. You've got, like, clarity in your face, like, your skin is different, your eyes look different. You've got this energy, this focus. You've got, you know, this book coming out, The Greatest You. You've got ten million plus people following you and listening, hundreds of millions of views. Family is healthy, thriving. What's the greatest challenge for you at this point in your life to get to the next level? Or what do you face? Was, is there a demon in your life? You've practiced these things for a decade. You're on top of it, you've eliminated all this stuff.

• 40:00Lewis Howes?

  What do you do next? Is it, I'll just maintain this? Or there are new demons or challenges that come up for you?

• 40:07Speaker 01

  Oh, man, that's a deep question. Some, let me, let me think about that for a minute.

• 40:12Lewis Howes?

  The real, the real demon, what is the, what is the, what is the thing that challenges you? Maybe it's in your marriage, maybe it's with your kids, maybe it's with family, it's comparing yourself to other people. I don't know, what's the?

• 40:26Lewis Howes?

  What's something that you struggle with in your mind that you constantly have to play a game with yourself to say, "No, that's not what I want."

• 40:34Speaker 01

  Probably...

• 40:39Speaker 01

  I don't wanna say comparison, but I think the the growth and success thing, like for me. So what I mean by that is, I gotta figure a way to like really, the word is, this is a great question, and I'm glad you asked it. So for me, it's always making sure. So I'll paint the picture like this. Of course, growing up, my definition of success was totally different now, right? It's, um, it was-

• 41:07Lewis Howes?

  Making money, being famous.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Exactly. So even with that part of it, it's like,

• 41:14Speaker 01

  I have a business, I have employees to take care of, right? So of course, making money, you have to make money if you have a business, or you don't have any business. But for me, it's, of course, I'm getting this massive growth, and I feel a lot of times, it's, you know, it can take you to a place that you don't wanna be at, right? That resistance.

• 41:32Lewis Howes?

  Like where?

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Just from the standpoint of,

• 41:36Speaker 01

  I wouldn't say doing things that are against your morals, cuz it's not that deep, but the celebrity, the attention that you get, like all the extra stuff that I don't care anything about. You know, I don't. I can honestly say that because I've had those things, and those things didn't fulfill me. So I'm the guy that's like, shying away from that.

• 41:52Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  And my being,

• 41:56Speaker 01

  I wouldn't say the word lazy, but being content with stuff, right? Versus being like-

• 42:00Lewis Howes?

  Pushing.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Pushing. How much do I need to push? Right? I have that battle. I mean, it's just so hard because every single day I create videos. I create videos every day. I can impact people, I can speak and all that, but is that really worth it? And so Bob Goff has this quote, I should've just said this at the beginning to make it easy.

• 42:15Lewis Howes?

  He's great, I love him.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  I'm paraphrasing it, but he said, like, "I don't wanna be successful at the wrong things." And his quote is a lot more beautiful than that, but I'm just paraphrasing. "I don't wanna be successful at the wrong things." And for me, it's like, what does success really mean? I know I'm impacting people's lives, and it's great, but at the expense of what? Right now, I'm not at home, you know, with my kids, obviously, my family. And so it's like, it's that battle. Do I just chill and relax and be okay and say, you know what? This is fine, let me just keep doing this. Or do I grow? But I know in growth, a lot of other sacrifices are gonna take place.

• 42:46Lewis Howes?

  So what is the greatest you then? Is it constantly reaching the next level and impacting more people and?

• 42:53Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 42:54Lewis Howes?

  Or is it being content and living like a balanced life and, and, and making sure you're healthy and happy?

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Peace is the greatest you.

• 43:01Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  I feel like.

• 43:02Lewis Howes?

  Inner peace, man.

• 43:03Speaker 01

  That's, that's.

• 43:04Lewis Howes?

  If you don't have inner peace and you have all the success, what the point?

• 43:07Speaker 01

  That's where I'm at. That's the definition I've came to in the last year.

• 43:11Lewis Howes?

  That's so true.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  With success is like, it's peace, is getting to my core self. Like, I'm interested, like, who is Trent Shelton at the core? Without all this stuff over the last thirty-four years that's been added on and all these ideas in the world, like, I'm just like hungry for that because I know at the end of life, I ask myself this question a lot and I don't know why lately, but I'm, I'm always asking myself, what really matters? Like, at the end of life, what's gonna really matter? I know my mom being sick, that really opened my eyes up to a lot. It's like, what really matters? And I don't wanna get to the end of life, knowing I lived a life that, of course, I made a lot of impact, but I didn't make the impact in the places that I should have made it. So that's why I was saying with youth sports, like, I wanna get into that.

• 43:53Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  And everything, so that's the battle, man. And it's a lot because everything's coming at you every type of way. So it's like, am I being lazy?

• 44:03Lewis Howes?

  Am I playing small?

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Am I?

• 44:05Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Am I not reaching my full potential? Am I where I should be? Yeah, exactly. Or do, is there another level, another level? And like, some people are, are, that drives them, like, the next level, next level, but like, how many next levels? If you're losing yourself in the process of doing it.

• 44:17Lewis Howes?

  What if you're reaching the next level and you're not losing yourself? You continue to explore yourself and you unlock new things and you're growing. So maybe it's an answer for each person, it's different for every person.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  I think it's your definitions and your meanings and what you want out of life.

• 44:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Cause I don't have kids right now, but I can imagine, like, I'm getting old, I'm thirty-six, I just turned thirty-six and I'm like. When I turned thirty, I started, I looked at a baby differently than when I was like twenty-nine. I saw a baby, I was like, huh. Like, yes, kids were cute and I liked them before, but I was like, ah, like, almost cried, like, a little bit, just like seeing a baby. Cause I could see what it could feel like being a dad. And thirty-six, like, I feel it more and more. I, I still have the desire right now to have kids, but I feel like, okay, one day, this is gonna probably change my life.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, for sure.

• 45:06Lewis Howes?

  And my, my whole priorities will probably change.

• 45:08Speaker 01

  For sure.

• 45:09Lewis Howes?

  For like a deeper meaning of family and like intimacy with like a small group of people. And making sure I wanna be there for them. I can only imagine, like, once you're away from your child for like a weekend or a week, it's probably like, breaks your heart.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, and that's why, like, I sacrifice so much in that. Like, I'll be like, no, I don't wanna do that, even if it's like financially, like, good and great, I'm like, nope. Because at the end of the day, I know what Tristan, Maya, my boy or girl, is gonna remember. And so, like, I'm flying back later on a red eye just to be at my son's, it's called a Gator, and it's like a little run they run around the school, just to be there. And it's, it's not a track meet or whatever, but I want to make sure that he always knows that even despite everything I had going on, I was always present in his life, like, so, success to the world means absolutely nothing to me if I'm not successful to my world. Right? So, that is the, the balance factor of my life and trying to figure out that. Like, I'm the type of guy where I probably could be like somewhere on an island, somewhere with my family, and like disappear and be good.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  And be good, yeah, this was just the normal stuff, but then, there is a side of me too, that I know requires me to fulfill the calling I have in my life. Being in the spotlight or making these videos, like, that doesn't, I'm an introverted person by nat- naturally. Like, that's the used to give me anxiety. I said this the other day, being in a crowded room, I still feel alone at times, that's the type of guy. And so, but, it's my calling, and I know that I was created for this and I'm meant to do this, so I had to walk into it. And it fulfills me, by the way, like, it's not like I'm doing this and I hate it, but that's just who I am. So, sometimes I wanna fall back and be like, I don't need people on Instagram and all that type of stuff, like Facebook, but then I understand people need me, so.

• 46:50Lewis Howes?

  Oh, snap. That's a whole nother thing, it's part of your purpose. It's like, if you're on an island by yourself, would you be doing a disservice to your purpose?

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 46:59Lewis Howes?

  So it's kind of about, it's trying to figure out the balance for yourself, like being content with the impact you're making and happy with what you're making now. And also being present for your life and your family. And how much to push, that's interesting. It's tough, man. I think our mind plays tricks on us too.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:15Lewis Howes?

  It's like, what is enough?

• 47:17Speaker 01

  There you go. I asked, that's, man, that's a great question. I asked that question. Actually, when I was here last time and I went to, I was thinking I was going to New Zealand. I had that on the camera. I asked everybody in the audience that question. Like, via VIP. They came on camera and said, what's enough? And everybody gave their different answers.

• 47:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, like, what's enough money in your bank account? What's enough impact? What's enough?

• 47:38Speaker 01

  And will it ever be enough? J. Cole tackles that good. He has, I don't know if you saw that video of J. Cole, but he talks about that. Like, he talks about, like, basically, like, being a hamster on the wheel and just, like, the running for the next level and next level this, you know? You get this money, next level, and he has a great video about that.

• 47:54Lewis Howes?

  I feel like it'll never be enough in the sense of I'll always want to give something to humanity.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:01Lewis Howes?

  Like, I'm always wanting to be working towards something to help people. Whether that's helping two kids at a youth program, coaching them as opposed to trying to coach the world. Or if it's continually impacting more and more people or serving people through a product or a service, whatever it may be. But I feel like even if a billion dollars just planted in my bank account, I would still want to do something for people.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:25Lewis Howes?

  I don't know. It's not necessarily about the money anymore now that I've got money. But it's about showing up every day and knowing that I'm here for a reason and fulfilling that I am purpose.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, contribution.

• 48:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, the contribution. Otherwise, it's like, what's the point? So it's never like, it's not about like, what is enough? It's like, how much are you willing to give? How much, how much can you consistently give?

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:48Lewis Howes?

  I think, I don't know. Where you can also make sure you're present for your family and the things that matter the most. So you're not just giving all your time and energy to strangers. But you, how much can I give to my family? How much can I give to myself? How much can I give to others?

• 49:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I prioritize, like my top priority, like is peace.

• 49:06Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  And it takes, and I know I lose a lot. I feel like I lose a lot of gain in the external realm of stuff. But I prioritize my peace.

• 49:15Lewis Howes?

  That's smart. So how, how can I have peace in my heart? And how much can I give with peace in my heart, maybe?

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:22Lewis Howes?

  Once I start to feel stressed and overwhelmed, then I need to pull back and go back to peace.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:26Lewis Howes?

  Maybe that's the balance.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so.

• 49:29Lewis Howes?

  Cause inner, yeah, inner peace is, should be the, the focus.

• 49:32Speaker 01

  Exactly. I mean, without it, life is, yeah.

• 49:37Lewis Howes?

  How often have you felt a lack of peace in the last 12 months?

• 49:44Speaker 01

  Maybe a few times.

• 49:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. It's more like a day or two maybe.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm more, cause I'm more conscious of it and what I want with that. Like, and I set my day up for that. Like, I mean, I literally set my day up, like before 12. Like, my family knows that it's like my time, like just for me. Because a better me, cause at first my wife was like, like before 12, like, I said, you can call me, obviously. But like, let me take this time for me so I can come back home a better man for you and a better father. Because if I'm frustrated, if I'm not, as I do my four A's, I'll call them and take care of that and get my workout in. I'm gonna be not the greatest me I should be for you. So let me be the greatest me. And so I love to get people their, their long time, their self-care time to be positively selfish. So you can come back a better version for me.

• 50:31Speaker 01

  So I'm like, okay, cool, go to the spot, like do that, please. So when you come back home to me, you know, you're refreshed, you're at peace and it makes it better.

• 50:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  So, and she's, my wife has realized that and see how like, how better I am for her and for the kids.

• 50:46Lewis Howes?

  What are your four A's?

• 50:47Speaker 01

  So the four A's, some really simple, but. It works. So I always say how you start your day and influence your day. Obviously, you have a great video about that. So and a great book too, right?

• 50:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  And so the first A is appreciation, obviously. Wake up gratitude, thank God, thank, you know, whoever you thank, thank them, you know, you're appreciated for life. Two is affection. I always say hug a day keeps depression away. So I usually hug my wife, my kids. You might not have somebody and go hug your coworker or something. Be weird at first. And three is accomplishment. So set your day up for a win. So do something. I used to dunk a basketball on a seven foot goal until we got rid of our goal. It just made me feel powerful. I started my day off with a win. So that's accomplishment. Three is accomplishment. And four is activity.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  And that's usually my workout. So I always say movement is is very critical when it comes to mental health, like move, get outside, nature heals and protecting your peace. So that's like my protect my peace thing. That's what I call it, like protecting my peace.

• 51:52Lewis Howes?

  Protect the peace.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 51:54Lewis Howes?

  I like that, man. And I think everyone should be focused on themselves first. Otherwise, you're not going to have anything to give anyone else.

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 52:01Lewis Howes?

  I love that. Protect the peace. Why can you dunk on a 10 foot rim or no?

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Right now, yeah, I probably can. I gotta get warmed up.

• 52:08Lewis Howes?

  Me too.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not maybe when I got these 25, but no, like.

• 52:13Lewis Howes?

  It's tough, man.

• 52:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's different.

• 52:15Lewis Howes?

  It takes a couple of warm up trials for it too, still. I love this, man. Make sure you guys get this book, The Greatest You. Trent's got some of the most inspiring videos online right now. And a lot of other friends with Jay Shetty and Princey and a couple of other guys. But you're you're in the top of inspiration with everything you do, man. So make sure you guys check this out, The Greatest You. Follow him on Instagram, Facebook. That's where all of his videos are. Are you on YouTube too?

• 52:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:38Lewis Howes?

  Put it there too. It's just Trent Shelton?

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 52:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. So make sure you check all that stuff out. I think I asked you the three truths last time, but I'll ask you again. If you could leave the world behind with only three messages, three lessons, and no one had access to your content anymore because you had to take it all with you when you die. Billions of video views with all these great messages, books, you create everything you want in your life. But at the end of the day, you take it with you. You can't leave it behind. And you get to leave behind three truths.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  All right.

• 53:07Lewis Howes?

  What would you say is the three things that you would leave behind for people to to be the lessons you would leave behind?

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Number one, it all starts with you. Self responsibility, the world owes you nothing. Uh, that's where your power is. Number two would be,

• 53:24Speaker 01

  protect your peace.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  And number three would have to be your life isn't over. So.

• 53:33Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean by that?

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Just no matter what you're going through in your life, know it's not over. It's another story, it's another chapter. Uh, sometimes in the storm, you know, we feel like it's gone, it's done. But your life is never over until it's over, over. So you always got more in you.

• 53:47Lewis Howes?

  You can always rewrite a new story.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Exactly. Just turn the page. Every day's a new beginning, every day's a new page.

• 53:52Lewis Howes?

  I love that, man. Who's your biggest inspiration right now?

• 53:58Lewis Howes?

  In your life?

• 54:00Lewis Howes?

  Someone you know or someone you don't know?

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Outside of my family, because that would be like a typical answer. Biggest inspiration?

• 54:10Speaker 01

  J. Cole. Yeah.

• 54:12Lewis Howes?

  Who is this?

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 54:14Lewis Howes?

  Who's J. Cole?

• 54:15Speaker 01

  You don't know J. Cole?

• 54:16Lewis Howes?

  Maybe I've seen.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  You know J. Cole.

• 54:18Lewis Howes?

  Maybe I've seen.

• 54:20Lewis Howes?

  Maybe I've seen videos or something, right? I probably seen, maybe I just saw another name.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Okay, well, he's, I mean, he's top rapper. I mean, outside of Drake.

• 54:27Lewis Howes?

  Okay, I'm sure I heard the music.

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, you, for sure you heard it.

• 54:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  For sure you heard it. Yeah, middle child song. But yeah, J. Cole, just for the simple fact that I love his message. I just love to see people at such a high level, but don't lose themselves. Like, I saw a picture the other day, he's riding a bike in New York, getting his hair cut at a, just a local barber shop. So, and he's always giving back just cool things. And he just does everything against the grain, you know, as far as like, going against the machine and, and calling out the things that need to be called out. And just the person, like, you can be a regular human being and still do great things.

• 54:57Lewis Howes?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  I like his message, man. Of course, I love his music, I'm a fan of his music. So it's kind of one of the people that I'm like,

• 55:03Speaker 01

  salute, I like what you're doing.

• 55:04Lewis Howes?

  That's cool, man. Well, I gotta acknowledge you, Trent, for, uh, for showing up, man, and constantly improving your life. Because last time I saw you, you're still doing big things, but I see your health at another level. Getting to meet your wife, it was cool to just see that, you know, you haven't let this success and the fame and all the people following you and praising you. Hold you back from like having this strong bond with your wife. You were just on FaceTime before we started. It's like, I love seeing men keep a tight bond with like their family. It keeps them grounded and like keeps a focus. So I acknowledge you for all that, man. I acknowledge you for doing the challenging thing and writing a book. It's not easy. And for everything you do, man, you're setting an example for running distance. It's not hard, man. All this stuff you do is not easy.

• 55:49Lewis Howes?

  So I acknowledge you for not allowing your success to make you lazy necessarily on your health and your relationships and things like that. And not taking the easy way out, man. So I acknowledge you for all that. Make sure you guys get the book, follow Trent. Trent Shelton, is that Trent Shelton or Rehab Time? What's the?

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Trent Shelton, but I mean, you're gonna follow Rehab Time too.

• 56:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, Trent Shelton.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Trent Shelton's my main.

• 56:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Everything.

• 56:12Lewis Howes?

  Final question, what's your definition of greatness?

• 56:18Speaker 01

  What's my definition of greatness? You doing what you're credited to do. I think that's greatness and being who you're credited to be.

• 56:26Lewis Howes?

  Team Money.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Team Shake Your Brother House.

• 56:34Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Powerful one. I love always asking my friends and influencers the deeper, more challenging questions to get them to really open up. So I'm glad Trent was able to share more of the vulnerable and open up about stuff to help you in your own life. And let me know what you enjoyed about this. Share this with your friends. Tag me on Instagram at Lewis Howes. Tell me what resonated with you the most. I like to reshare a bunch of people that tag me as well. So we'll reshare a few of those every single week. Tag me, let me know. If this is your first time here, please subscribe right now on your app. Just go to your app, click the subscribe button on School of Greatness on Apple Podcast or Spotify or SoundCloud, wherever you are.

• 57:17Lewis Howes?

  Subscribe and leave us a review over on Apple Podcast or on iTunes. Those reviews really help us get the message of greatness out there. And be a hero for someone today. Send them this. Message, send them this interview, send them this right now. Just take the link from the podcast where you're listening to it and send it over. Send them a text, post it on your social media, send it somewhere so a friend could hear this message. Spread the message of greatness, be a hero for someone today and do that. And as we circle back to the beginning, Jimi Hendrix said, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Find that strength within yourself to have love for yourself, to have love for others,

• 58:02Lewis Howes?

  to let go of the anger, the resentment, the frustrations that you have in the world, because that means you won't have the inner peace. And until we have inner peace, we can never have world peace, said the Dalai Lama. And Albert Einstein said, "Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding." I love you all so very much. You know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.