766 Barbara Corcoran: Success in Business and Life

YOU CAN'T FAKE IT. Finding your career isn’t something you decide in your head. You have to try lots of things. Put yourself in different environments. Pay attention to what makes you happy. Little by little, you’ll find the right path. When you do, you’ll be unstoppable. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about what makes a great entrepreneur with someone who knew she had found her calling once she became a realtor: Barbara Corcoran. Barbara Corcoran is a Real Estate Queen, Shark Tank Shark, and Host of the "Business Unusual" Podcast. Barbara Corcoran’s credentials include straight D’s in high school and college and twenty jobs by the time she turned twenty-three. It was her next job that would make her one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country when she took a $1000 loan to start The Corcoran Group. Barbara is famously brash and blunt, bold and courageous, and a brilliant identifier of opportunity and talent (often invisible to others). She believes that the key to success in business is not the idea but the person. An entrepreneur's passion and drive can make or break a business. So get ready to learn what makes a great entrepreneur on Episode 766. Some Questions I Ask: What’s the angriest you’ve ever been in your life? (11:00) When did you learn to communicate so directly? (24:00) What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from being one of ten kids? (26:30) When do you feel the most loved? (30:00) What are the smart industries to go into right now? (45:00) What three questions would you ask a potential buyer? (1:02:00) In This Episode You Will Learn: What type of partnerships are the most successful (19:00) Why guilt is the worst thing for a relationship (23:00) The importance of social media in business (40:00) The two qualities Barbara looks for in an entrepreneur (49:00) What makes Donald Trump a good salesman (57:00) What to do with profit you make in your business (1:11:00) Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is episode number 766 with the shark Barbara Corcoran.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Henry Winkler said, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." And Bill Gates said, "It's fine to celebrate success, but it's more important to heed the lessons of failure." Welcome to this episode. We've got Barbara Corcoran in the house. Loved connecting with her. She is a wealth of information and such a generous giving heart. And for those that don't know who she is, she's a very successful businesswoman, investor, speaker, consultant, author, and TV personality. She began her career in the 1970s with real estate in New York City

• 1:11Speaker 00

  and really took the city over by storm, then became a television personality as known as a shark investor on ABC's hit show Shark Tank. And she also has a new podcast out that I'm loving. It's called Business Unusual. So much information and I wanted to get her off her normal talking points. So in the beginning of this interview, it gets a little interesting. It gets a little uncomfortable for her because I asked her questions about relationships, what I thought was pretty interesting, some of her responses. She's got so much experience in relationships and business, but I wanted to ask about personal relationships as well. So we discuss personal relationships and how it can affect you in your business with the type of partner that you have.

• 1:56Speaker 00

  Can the partner you have support you or hurt you in business? The power of reshaping the way you think about mistakes. How regret can quietly take down your confidence and in my opinion, confidence is one of the key.

• 2:10Lewis Howes?

  key determining factors of you being successful. If you're not confident, then that's going to hurt you in the long run. So we're talking about regret. Also, what the best qualities are for a successful entrepreneur and salesman. What she looks for, the top two or three qualities to find an incredible salesperson. And she also shares who she thinks is the best salesman that she's ever seen. And she is not proud to talk about it, actually. But this was a fascinating story about the best salesman she's ever seen. Big thank you to our sponsors today, and I'm so excited about this one. So let's dive into this all about how to master sales, success in life, love, relationships, and everything else with Barbara Corkin.

• 2:58Lewis Howes?

  All right, welcome back to the School of Greatness podcast. We've got Barbara Corkin in the house. So good to see you. I'm so glad you're here. We met for about five seconds about three or four years ago. I was on the Today Show in the green room.

• 3:11Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes, I remember.

• 3:12Lewis Howes?

  And you were in the green room as well, and I just came up and said hello. And you said you flirted with me then, like you flirted with me now.

• 3:18Barbara Corcoran?

  Of course I flirted with you.

• 3:18Lewis Howes?

  And told me I was like tall and handsome. And I was like, okay.

• 3:22Barbara Corcoran?

  It's still true.

• 3:23Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it. Thank you. But every time I've interacted with you and every time I've seen your online, your content, you always bring positivity and you just say it how it is. You've been telling me how it is before the interview about relationships, which I appreciate. And you always are very kind and generous. So I just want to acknowledge you for that before we start.

• 3:43Barbara Corcoran?

  Thank you, but you're not married to me.

• 3:45Lewis Howes?

  Not married to you?

• 3:46Barbara Corcoran?

  I've got another side. Talk to my husband, Bill.

• 3:48Lewis Howes?

  Oh, really?

• 3:48Barbara Corcoran?

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:49Lewis Howes?

  Dark side, huh?

• 3:50Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, not a real dark side, but my positiveness isn't 24/7, I can tell you, yeah.

• 3:55Lewis Howes?

  Okay. What's the angriest you've ever been in your life?

• 3:59Barbara Corcoran?

  The angriest I ever was, was being angry with my husband, Bill, because he was inconsiderate. And I can't even remember what was bugging me, but it was on Christmas Eve and I punched him.

• 4:08Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 4:08Barbara Corcoran?

  Hard with all my mind.

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  The face?

• 4:09Barbara Corcoran?

  His chest. No, no, no, no. His chest, but he's a big guy.

• 4:12Lewis Howes?

  So what did it feel like, a flea, like touching him?

• 4:14Barbara Corcoran?

  No, I got a good, I got a good connection in there. But then he left. He drove away and I thought he was driving out of my life. I panicked. But he came back two hours later, totally dressed as a goalie, a hockey goalie with mask.

• 4:27Lewis Howes?

  Nope.

• 4:29Barbara Corcoran?

  And he walked in, I thought he was gone, but then I hear him in the driveway. Oh God, he's back like a young girl. Oh God, he's back. And he walks in and fills the door frame and goes, "Hit me now, I can't feel anything, baby."

• 4:41Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 4:42Barbara Corcoran?

  And I had to, of course, roll over. And I don't even remember what I was angry with, but I loved him twice as much for the moment until the next argument.

• 4:49Lewis Howes?

  Till the next argument.

• 4:49Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:50Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You don't remember what the argument was, or it's irrelevant?

• 4:53Barbara Corcoran?

  It was something inconsiderate about my sister, who would drive anybody crazy, but I thought he should be a little bit more funnier, be more tolerant.

• 5:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:01Barbara Corcoran?

  So instead, I became the intolerant, mean-spirited woman and took it out on him.

• 5:05Lewis Howes?

  When a woman gets mad at their partner, a man partner.

• 5:08Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes.

• 5:09Lewis Howes?

  How should a man respond in that situation? Should they leave and come back with pads on? Should they take it and let them punch them emotionally or physically, or, you know, whatever it may be? Should they tread them?

• 5:22Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, it depends if you're a smart man or not, okay? If you're a smart guy, what a woman really wants to hear is that she's right. So the quicker you can accept the fact that she's right, whether you feel it in your heart or not, the happier the woman's going to be. And then if you can move right on to what attracted you in the first place and what you love about it and deliver it in a most sincere way, then you're ahead of the game versus falling down the pike, you know?

• 5:47Lewis Howes?

  Wow. You think that'll typically work if the person says, "Okay, you're right, and here's something I love about you," or?

• 5:53Barbara Corcoran?

  Let me tell you, ask any happily married man who's been married for years how he stays happy, and almost two out of three will tell you, "I tell my wife she's always right." And that's the secret to a happy marriage.

• 6:06Lewis Howes?

  Crazy.

• 6:06Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah. Well, that maybe sounds old-fashioned, but that has really been my practical observation as well. My husband's very good at saying, "You're right," much faster as the years go by.

• 6:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 6:16Barbara Corcoran?

  And that's what I want to hear, because you know I'm always right.

• 6:19Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure. I think it's, I think I've heard that before where men say, you know, if, "I'd rather be happy than right."

• 6:24Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah. But women wanna be adored, really. They really wanna be cherished for the specialness they have. And it's the same with, of course, men. But you can lose sight of that very quickly when you're in someone's life for a long time. It's so important. People get on their game, of course, when there's a marital threat. People dress up better, shave more often.

• 6:46Lewis Howes?

  Right, smell better.

• 6:47Barbara Corcoran?

  Outside threat is not so bad for marriage, yeah.

• 6:49Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So you've been married for thirty years, right? Thirty-ish, thirty-one?

• 6:53Barbara Corcoran?

  Feels like five hundred.

• 6:54Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 6:55Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:56Lewis Howes?

  Does it get better, or does it get different, or how does it evolve?

• 6:59Barbara Corcoran?

  Uh, you know, it gets better and it gets worse, I think, marriage, quite honestly. And I don't know why you're asking me. I've been married twice.

• 7:06Lewis Howes?

  Just curious.

• 7:06Barbara Corcoran?

  So it's not like I'm an expert here.

• 7:08Lewis Howes?

  Well, you've had multiple experiences. That means you've learned from different experiences.

• 7:13Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes, it's true.

• 7:14Lewis Howes?

  And I, I think you, I think as a, a successful female entrepreneur, business owner, who's invested in multiple companies and very driven to achieve and just achieve so much, I think it's even more challenging to be married for as long as you have. So that's why I'm curious, because you do have experience.

• 7:32Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, here's the good news, and I'll give you the bad news. The good news, I think, or speaking from my own experience is all I know. I think I become more tolerant and kinder and have a softer eye as I get older and stay with my husband, Bill, for all these years. Like, I could have more empathy, uh, much more easily. I can call it up. Uh, whereas only fifteen years ago, I'd be very intolerant, not accepting of something. Now, I see it's his personality, and I might as well just roll over and be comfortable with it, because where am I gonna get? I'm not gonna get anywhere. I'm not gonna change him at this point, and he's not gonna change me. The bad news is, you start to assume you know what to expect

• 8:14Barbara Corcoran?

  and never expect anything different, or better, or unusual, or exciting. But I think the key then in a marriage is also not to think you're gonna change each other and find your joy, or your, um, excitement, or whatever it is you're thinking you don't find in one individual. And find it outside the marriage. And that keeps the marriage stronger because you have other windows you're opening up on many relationships. And I'm not talking about having an affair.

• 8:40Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 8:40Barbara Corcoran?

  You know.

• 8:41Lewis Howes?

  Business relationships, personal friendships.

• 8:43Barbara Corcoran?

  Personal friendships, you know, it's like a crayon box. You can't get all the colors from one color. And that's what your husband has, has three colors. He's mastered those three colors. So you have to introduce those other colors and make sure you stay vital. I hope I was sincere in saying that.

• 8:58Lewis Howes?

  No, I think that makes sense.

• 8:59Barbara Corcoran?

  Did it sound sincere to you?

• 9:00Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. I think it's hard to say that you're gonna get everything from one person for your whole life.

• 9:06Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, you believe it when you're like a dog in heat, like you are right now.

• 9:10Lewis Howes?

  Exactly, yeah, exactly.

• 9:11Barbara Corcoran?

  You're blinded by the light.

• 9:13Lewis Howes?

  Right. And I think I'm realistic about like the future. And it's just like, that's why I love to ask questions of very successful people in business. Because like, how do you keep your marriage strong or a relationship strong? When it gets boring or dry or whatever?

• 9:26Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes.

• 9:27Lewis Howes?

  And I'm hearing you say you've got to find excitement in other ways, not in that relationship.

• 9:32Barbara Corcoran?

  Not very exciting news, I'm afraid. I can't deliver more. But can't we talk about the stuff I'm really good at? I mean, marriage is not my forte.

• 9:38Lewis Howes?

  That's why I like asking those questions.

• 9:40Barbara Corcoran?

  It's a challenge every day.

• 9:41Lewis Howes?

  That's why I like those questions.

• 9:42Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should be asking other people that are so happy. I can't stand those couples at a restaurant that are gazing into each other's eyes. And they look old. Forget it.

• 9:51Lewis Howes?

  Holding hands all the time, barely.

• 9:53Barbara Corcoran?

  Other things to talk about, my god.

• 9:57Lewis Howes?

  Now, I'm curious from a business perspective. When people are getting into a relationship, into a marriage or just an intimate relationship, not married. And one person is a driven entrepreneur. They're focused on their mission, their impact, their business. They want it to be successful. They want to make money and also create a great product. Do you feel like there's ever challenges in those relationships? That can be foreseen and talked about before it gets to challenging?

• 10:25Barbara Corcoran?

  You mentioned before we started Cousins Made Lobsters. They did, two partners, cousins, a few years apart, grew up together, wanting to start a business on the side called Cousins Made Lobster.

• 10:35Lewis Howes?

  Great product.

• 10:36Barbara Corcoran?

  Great product.

• 10:36Lewis Howes?

  Right down the street, we eat it. It's expensive, but it's good.

• 10:39Barbara Corcoran?

  Expensive, but lobster is expensive.

• 10:41Lewis Howes?

  Worth it.

• 10:41Barbara Corcoran?

  But great product because of the great guys.

• 10:43Lewis Howes?

  Great guys.

• 10:44Barbara Corcoran?

  The great guys, all right. I bring them up because before they went down the road toward partnership, they both went and got psychologically tested as to what was important to them. What was a turn off? A full battery of psychological tests like for four hours? And then they openly discussed it before they went in the partnership. Now, that's a dream world. How many people do that? But how smart are those guys? And they divided their tasks based on their personality traits. And they're very, very happy partners.

• 11:13Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 11:13Barbara Corcoran?

  It's a great example of how to do it right. Do most people do that? No. But some people intuitively choose people very smartly as to who should be their partner in business or in life. And I have found that the most successful ones on both fronts have been when you choose your opposite. Opposites, I know a build is always attracting and maybe not staying together. But no, I think if you can have mutual respect and build good fences and so who's good at what and who does what, I think it's got the best shot at being successful in any kind of relationship.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  Wow, interesting. Have you ever seen a really successful entrepreneur fail because of an intimate partnership?

• 11:53Barbara Corcoran?

  Happens all the time.

• 11:54Lewis Howes?

  Not from just like?

• 11:55Barbara Corcoran?

  You don't mean another business partnership? You mean because of their partner at home?

• 11:58Lewis Howes?

  Because of their intimate partner, yes. Have you ever seen?

• 12:00Barbara Corcoran?

  All the time.

• 12:00Lewis Howes?

  A man or a woman was like driven, their thing is taking off, but their emotional intimate partner somehow brings it down and...

• 12:09Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, you're kind of billing the emotional partner as the bad guy, which is not usually the case from what I've seen. I've seen it's a mutual bad dance and it goes like this. Somebody starts a business or is really committed to making a success of themselves. Very often, it's the guy because he wants to be the breadwinner and really wants to be able to... He's setting up his life. He's more serious about setting up his life and making the money. Generally, you know, it feels like this time pressure. So the guy goes out and he's got a wonderful spouse, I'll say in this instance or whoever in his life, but it goes awry. I think a lot of it goes awry because it takes 150% effort to succeed in life in the workplace. If you're going to be hugely successful, you're going to pour your heart and soul and hours into it

• 12:54Barbara Corcoran?

  and you better have a spouse who's signed up for it. So there's never an honest conversation because very often the warrior doesn't know how successful or how hard or how much they're going to be out of the home or what their single-minded focus is going to be. So you're not asking your spouse to sign up for it. And yet, most of those relationships go awry. Why? Because what the spouse wants is who they marry. That guy that doted on her and loved her and spent quiet hours at the beach, collected seashells, and saying, "I love your eyelashes," and all that shit, right? So then, all of a sudden, she's not hearing that, and she goes somewhere else for her love. It happens all the time. It's a hard balancing act, if you're serious about business. And I can tell you for myself, it has played havoc on my relationships.

• 13:39Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 13:39Barbara Corcoran?

  My first partner was very supportive, but I knew he was fine. It was like a parked car. I didn't have to give him any attention, whereas my business, my, my, my salespeople, took 150% of my time. You can't do that. You really have to parcel yourself out with what's important in life.

• 13:58Lewis Howes?

  Man, that's fascinating, because I think sometimes, I'll speak for myself.

• 14:03Barbara Corcoran?

  I knew you were gonna confess sooner.

• 14:05Lewis Howes?

  I'll speak for myself. I feel like sometimes, myself and other men that I know, who are driven entrepreneurs, that wanna build businesses and make a big impact. Myself, in the past, and other male friends that I have, have built these female relationships with intimate partners, been so committed on their vision and mission, and then feel bad. They're, they're made wrong, or they feel guilty that they're, don't have as much time to give the relationship, or they're giving too much time to the business. But that's their mission, that they feel called to. What is the conversation that men, the driven person for business in the relationship should have with the partner, before they really take it to another level? Whether it's marriage, or, you know, being committed boyfriend and girlfriend?

• 14:50Lewis Howes?

  What is the conversation they should have? So they don't feel guilty going 150% in on their mission? And they don't resent the partner for pulling back when they make them wrong for going all in?

• 15:00Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, let me tell you, the real objective, an ideal objective, is to get the partner on the same page with you. Sometimes, that doesn't work. Whatever you're aspiring to may have not been in the first place, or certainly not now with she or he's... Can I say she in this instance?

• 15:15Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:16Barbara Corcoran?

  Like, you're a guy, okay?

• 15:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:17Barbara Corcoran?

  What she's aspiring to. But I think the most important goal there is to get rid of the guilt. Guilt is a terrible thing and I'll tell you what it will also do. It will drive the relationship apart more than lack of communication. If you're chasing your rainbow and going at 150% and you're feeling like guilty that you're not giving enough to the relationship, but that's really where your heart is. You want to do that right now? This is the 10 years, you want to mostly focus on that? You owe the honesty because the guilt will erode it. You'll resent her anyway if she's not willing to play, even though you never spoke about it. So I think shooting between the eyes is the best way to go, whether it be directly one-on-one or whether you get someone to help facilitate that. Listen, I'd like to take another, I'd like to size up our relationship. I'd really like us to be honest about what we're looking for

• 16:02Barbara Corcoran?

  in the next five years. We've been together 10 years, blah blah. Let's get it all on the table. And you know what sadly might happen? You might find you're not suitable. There are chapters in life. People change. People have different aspirations. But why piss away another five years at the wrong relationship? That ain't gonna go anywhere anyway.

• 16:20Lewis Howes?

  When did you learn to communicate so like directly? Have you always been that way?

• 16:24Barbara Corcoran?

  It's shorter, I'm impatient. I mean, I can't stand any indirect communication, even with the people I work with. If they start going like, "Well, you know, I was sinking that blah blah blah blah blah blah." I go, "Listen, tell me where you land and then tell me how you got there." And guess what? When they tell me where they land, I never stay tuned for how they got there. I just want to know where you land.

• 16:43Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right.

• 16:43Barbara Corcoran?

  It saves a lot of time and also it gives permission for the other person to be direct. People really see through baloney a lot. You know, if you're dancing around the bushes, try that with a long-term relationship. Dance around the bush. If you've been together more than two years, that person's gonna look at you like, "What's he bullshitting about?" You know, whether you're saying it or not.

• 17:01Lewis Howes?

  Were you always this direct? Or did it kind of evolve over time?

• 17:05Barbara Corcoran?

  I think I've gotten more direct as I get older because you become more yourself. But remember, I'm one of 10 kids with only two parents. We didn't have 12 parents. And if you want to get attention, you had to say what you want and say it fast or you lost the attention of your parents. Boom, they were on to the next kid. Like, "Hey, this is what I want, get it out fast."

• 17:23Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 17:24Barbara Corcoran?

  So I had early training, you know?

• 17:26Lewis Howes?

  Who was more influential for you of your two parents?

• 17:29Barbara Corcoran?

  In different ways, I would say overall, clearly my mother, maybe because I'm a female. But my mother in my mind was rockin' amazing. Because she raised ten kids with hardly any money to even feed us. And did a phenomenal job and was so positive in every way. And she was a workaholic. She worked harder at ten kids through the night, the ironing, the washing.

• 17:51Lewis Howes?

  Oh my gosh.

• 17:52Barbara Corcoran?

  Than I could ever work in my, building my business, you know? But what my dad did for me, though, had a profound effect on not only myself, but my nine siblings, or eight out of nine, is he hated working for someone his whole life. He worked two jobs to support us. He was a printing press foreman in the day and he washed trucks at night. But what my father taught us, because he would constantly get fired for insubordination. And when he would come home early from work, we'd all run around the table. Dad's home early, Dad. We couldn't wait to. And he'd say, "Guess what, kids?" And we'd all scream, "You're fired." And he'd go, "You betcha. I told Mr. Stein to shove that job up where the sun don't shine." We're like, "Yay, Dad."

• 18:34Barbara Corcoran?

  But what was beautiful about my father is he taught us, quietly, in his own way, not to work for someone. And all of us are self-employed and doing very well.

• 18:43Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 18:44Barbara Corcoran?

  Except for my sister, who's a hospice nurse, but she's self-employed because she goes to people's homes. But we all have businesses that we've done well with, but I credit my dad with that. And I credit my mother with her people skills, teaching us and being such a positive human being. So combined, we had a very lucky, lucky mix. And as you know, luck is such a big card in life, right? You don't know what you get.

• 19:06Lewis Howes?

  You've got to make the most of what you get, though.

• 19:07Barbara Corcoran?

  Can, but a lot of people don't.

• 19:09Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 19:09Barbara Corcoran?

  And a lot of people don't get much, especially as kids.

• 19:13Lewis Howes?

  That's true. What's the biggest lessons you learned from being one of ten kids?

• 19:18Barbara Corcoran?

  I should come up with something better, but I'll tell you what comes to mind. I think you learn how to be a member of a team.

• 19:24Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 19:25Barbara Corcoran?

  And that's a usual head start when you go out in life to think that there's a lot of opinions and you kind of have to make it all gel and work. And so I think I can really build great teams. I think that's my true, true gift in any situation. And I think I could not have learned it. I probably maybe would have learned it later, but I certainly came out of the household at eighteen knowing what a team was all about.

• 19:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, because your whole family had to be that way.

• 19:53Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah.

• 19:53Lewis Howes?

  Did you play sports too, or no?

• 19:55Barbara Corcoran?

  I did not, but you know, I'm old enough that in my high school, they didn't have girl's sports.

• 20:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 20:00Barbara Corcoran?

  But I worked every day after school, and that's a sport. And to this day, I think of business as a really good sport. Contact sport at times. But it's definitely competitive.

• 20:11Lewis Howes?

  Very.

• 20:12Barbara Corcoran?

  And it probably has similar skills, but if I had been a sportswoman, I would have been great because I'm a damn good skier.

• 20:19Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 20:19Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, yeah, and that's the only sport I've really done. But my younger sisters and brothers were, a few years down, were great athletes in high school. Yeah, my brothers in particular, when the girls kicked in, yeah.

• 20:30Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 20:31Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, so I thought I would have done, I wish I had. You know, I think I would have liked to.

• 20:35Lewis Howes?

  It's like you can still play sports now.

• 20:37Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, the one sport, yeah, yeah.

• 20:39Lewis Howes?

  The sport of business.

• 20:40Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, the sport of business.

• 20:41Lewis Howes?

  And skiing, yeah, yeah. Do you ski in the East Coast, or?

• 20:44Barbara Corcoran?

  I ski out in Utah a lot because we have a little place there.

• 20:47Lewis Howes?

  Powder's amazing.

• 20:47Barbara Corcoran?

  This year, depends what year you ask. This has been a good year. Last Christmas, we were begging and praying for snow every night, yeah.

• 20:54Lewis Howes?

  Where, are you in Park City, or?

• 20:56Barbara Corcoran?

  Park City, now that area, yeah.

• 20:58Lewis Howes?

  Snowboarded there.

• 20:59Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, well, I don't, I don't go right in Park City. I go in Deer Valley because I don't like snowboarders.

• 21:03Lewis Howes?

  I used to be kind of crazy growing up when I was doing snowboarding, but I kind of, I just don't want to get hurt now. So I just like going slow and chill down there.

• 21:09Barbara Corcoran?

  That's called middle age. You start to think about risk instead of just doing it.

• 21:13Lewis Howes?

  Well, I just got so many injuries through my body, so many broken bones from playing football and other sports, it's just like.

• 21:19Barbara Corcoran?

  You don't want to do it.

• 21:20Lewis Howes?

  The pain is just not worth it anymore, just the recovery process where when I was a kid, it didn't matter, you know, I just wanted that fun.

• 21:26Barbara Corcoran?

  Also, you can have a lot of fun without going against the speed record or something.

• 21:30Lewis Howes?

  True, true. Trying to jump off every cliff like I used to do. I remember I hit my head so hard one time. This is when I didn't wear a helmet because I didn't think it was cool. I hit my head so hard and I slid down, I was in, um... Where was I in the Canadian Rockies? Slid down and I probably laid there for about six or seven minutes while people just behind me. And I thought I had a concussion or something because I was like, I will never go snowboarding without a helmet again.

• 21:55Barbara Corcoran?

  You learned the lesson?

• 21:56Lewis Howes?

  I learned the hard way.

• 21:57Barbara Corcoran?

  You were lucky.

• 21:57Lewis Howes?

  Lucky I didn't crack my head open. I just had like a minor concussion or something, but um.

• 22:01Barbara Corcoran?

  And if you're young enough, a minor concussion is no big deal.

• 22:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:05Barbara Corcoran?

  Lucky for you.

• 22:06Lewis Howes?

  Well, I played football and I probably had many minor concussions.

• 22:08Barbara Corcoran?

  And you never got it checked out, I bet. Not after, let me check my head after this game.

• 22:12Lewis Howes?

  No, and I used to only hit with my head. I would tackle with my head as hard as I could, full speed.

• 22:18Barbara Corcoran?

  You fool, you fool.

• 22:19Lewis Howes?

  Crazy. I'm lucky I got injured after my first year playing professional because I don't know if I'd even have a brain anymore if I played longer.

• 22:26Barbara Corcoran?

  I think when you get married, you should give that lovely future wife, which I have a gut feeling is gonna be soon. Give her an out in the contract that if you start acting strange with those head injuries, that she can walk away and get herself a younger guy.

• 22:40Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 22:40Barbara Corcoran?

  Be kind, be reasonable.

• 22:42Lewis Howes?

  I'd always be kind.

• 22:43Barbara Corcoran?

  I don't have a good feel about your future. You better give that girl an out.

• 22:46Lewis Howes?

  No, I'll be fine. It's been 10 years since football, so I'm fine now.

• 22:50Barbara Corcoran?

  Okay.

• 22:51Lewis Howes?

  I'll be fine. When do you feel the most loved? When you do what?

• 22:57Lewis Howes?

  Or when what happens in your life you feel the most loved?

• 23:00Barbara Corcoran?

  If you exclude children, when children say they love you and mean it, or you got my back, or however they at different ages find a way to make you feel loved, that's the best love of all. But if you want to move that out of the way, which is true of anybody who's a parent, I think. Um, I think the second best is when I see a happy team at work. Now, maybe I shouldn't be putting much emphasis on that. But when I see a happy team, all clicking like a clock and really helping each other and enjoying each other and mostly thinking they can do whatever they want and be whoever they want, they're gonna go to the sky and back again. It makes me feel so happy. I guess that's parenting too.

• 23:42Barbara Corcoran?

  Makes you feel like I've empowered these kids to be wonderful, whether they, they're not all kids, but it makes you feel full, full of happiness and love. Yeah, greatest satisfaction, greatest satisfaction for me.

• 23:56Lewis Howes?

  Building teams and seeing them thrive.

• 23:57Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, and seeing the individuals feel like they're discovering themselves, things they didn't know they could do. So it's kind of as close as you get to playing like a miracle worker. Whether it be the people at the office that I work with, I have a very small team today, building the big business that I sold, or working with my different entrepreneurs from Shark Tank. Whenever I feel like I can make a difference and I see them reaching higher and really believing.

• 24:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:24Barbara Corcoran?

  You know, because I could sell anybody on themselves really well. Pop them up and mean it, though. I'm not bullshitting. Well, I'm trimming it up, I'm trimming up. But I really, it's based on something that I really see. When I see them starting to take off, I get tremendous satisfaction out of that, yeah. And you said, that wasn't really your question, I guess. You said, "How do you feel loved?" But I do feel loved in those circumstances, which probably have nothing to do with love, but I feel loving and loved.

• 24:50Lewis Howes?

  That's good, that's good. What is the greatest mistake you've made that you're so grateful for, that you made? Because it made you a better person, from the lesson you learned or from the thing you got out of? Like you mentioned that your previous boyfriend, a boyfriend back in the day, married a secretary and was the greatest gift that you had, because you got out of a relationship that wasn't going to work, or you met your partner. Is there really like a challenge or a mistake you made in business or life, besides that?

• 25:20Barbara Corcoran?

  I don't think I'm the type of person that is brave enough to admit I've made a mistake, honestly. Because I think things have not worked out along the way, where things just didn't work out as I had hoped or dreamed them to be. But I don't see them as a mistake, because as quick as you're thinking, "Oh, poor me", you start to see the light of the door that is opening that couldn't have opened without it, okay? So I don't have like a regret of this was a big mistake or that was a big mistake. But I have to also say, I have my whole life been very cognizant of... Doing anything and exposing myself to anything, even when I didn't want to do it, because I'm deathly afraid of feeling like I would regret. Like, what if I don't do it?

• 26:05Barbara Corcoran?

  That's more of a motivation for me than doing.

• 26:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, me too.

• 26:07Barbara Corcoran?

  You know, just like, well, will I look back? Blah, blah, blah, you know? Like, for example, with Dancing with the Stars, I did not want to do it. I'm an old babe. The last thing I want to do is practice four hours a day.

• 26:17Lewis Howes?

  You were great.

• 26:18Barbara Corcoran?

  You think I was so great? Not the judges. I was the number one person on Dancing with the Stars last season. Number one rejected. Now, there's a record, okay? But, so you might say that was a mistake with all the work that that led up to. And it was a social embarrassment. I thought I'd be rejected maybe number three, or five, or six, but number one, I never saw it coming. And so I was kind of a little mortified on that one. But you know what? I'm so thankful I did it. And the minute I recovered by the next morning, I'm like, thank God I did it. And thank God it's over. It's a lot of work.

• 26:51Lewis Howes?

  It's a lot of work.

• 26:51Barbara Corcoran?

  Because I didn't want to, I said yes because I didn't want to wonder what it would have been like. So...

• 26:56Lewis Howes?

  What did you learn from the experience about yourself?

• 26:59Barbara Corcoran?

  I learned I'm not a good dancer. I swear. I've looked at the tapes now, one year later. When I thought, same tapes I looked at a year ago, I thought, you know, I really got this. But I look at the one year, I'm like, I'm stiff as a board. What was I thinking? Missing steps? So, so what I learned from that is that I can't dance well. But inside my body, I feel like I'm a good dancer. And I'll get out on any dance floor and do my own makeup steps. And people really smile as I'm dancing because I don't really give a crap.

• 27:28Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 27:29Barbara Corcoran?

  And I look like it, you know?

• 27:32Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, but what did I learn? I learned that, I learned the same lesson I learned again and again, which is thank God I did it. Thank God. And the injury of, oh, God, you did so poorly, dissipates quickly. But there's an echo to not trying something that's going to sting you, I think. Not that I know that, because I really don't do that. But I'm afraid of it. It's like... It's like fear of a nightmare that might happen. I don't know why, because I don't really have that in my life, but I'm fearful of it.

• 28:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I think that'll sting you for a long time, too. That fear of regret of like, oh, I had the opportunity to do this Dancing with the Stars and I didn't do it. How many years would you think about not, you know?

• 28:11Barbara Corcoran?

  Maybe a year, but still a bad year. Uh, regret does, I think, and I, and why I've been able to build up my personality and whatever I can get out of and give to life as best I could. What regret does is it quietly takes down your confidence a notch. Because in short, you're a coward. You shied away, even if the right decision is to shy away. Once you shy away, you quietly, without even consciously thinking, think a little less of yourself. Now, I say that from experience because I've watched many people get stronger or people where life makes them weaker. And there's a lot that goes into that. But I really believe that, uh, that regret piece is not given enough due.

• 28:53Barbara Corcoran?

  You really have to try everything and try your best because even, and listen, two out of three things I try don't work out, you know? But people just remember the successes, whatever. But I know what the failures are. But still, I got confidence out of failing each time. A little notch up, a little notch up. So then you conduct yourself with more power in life because you feel better about yourself. And ironically, you have more to give. You're a better package to give more because you've, you've put a lot into that basket by just trying, trying, trying, trying, you know?

• 29:24Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you're more confident even though you're the first one out of Dancing with the Stars? That you, you did it and you went for it?

• 29:30Barbara Corcoran?

  Absolutely. Absolutely, I'm more confident. I got a lot of confidence out of that because every female friend and male friend I had that was even close to my age.

• 29:41Lewis Howes?

  They were like, I can't believe you even went for it, right?

• 29:43Barbara Corcoran?

  They said you're, they discourage you, you're out of your mind, da, da, da, da, da. But I won all their respect and they constantly say, that was amazing. That was amazing. So even my friends that kind of took me for granted think better of me. I went up a notch in their head, you know?

• 29:56Lewis Howes?

  It takes a lot of courage to do that.

• 29:58Barbara Corcoran?

  It takes a lot of courage to publicly fail. But I happen to be very good at public failure.

• 30:03Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 30:03Barbara Corcoran?

  Because I've done it my whole life and that doesn't bother me. I think what I didn't want to happen was that I would look foolish or old dancing with a 24-year-old ripped stud on the floor. Until I realized it feels really good to lean in on that guy.

• 30:17Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 30:17Barbara Corcoran?

  Let him spin you around that floor. And how my girlfriends are having to dance with anybody like that lately.

• 30:22Lewis Howes?

  There you go. That's a good way of looking at it.

• 30:25Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah.

• 30:26Lewis Howes?

  Why are you not afraid to fail publicly?

• 30:28Barbara Corcoran?

  Because you know what I've learned? Nobody's really watching. Nobody gives a shit.

• 30:31Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 30:32Barbara Corcoran?

  Everybody's so...

• 30:33Lewis Howes?

  Forget about it the next year or whatever.

• 30:34Barbara Corcoran?

  No, maybe even in the moment. Because the truth is that people, most of all, are thinking about themselves. So just when you think the limelight's on you and everybody's gonna say, "God, is she stupid? God, why would she say that or do that?" The minute they've given you that one moment of attention, they back on to their own problems, their own selves. So it's like overstatement of your ego to think you're really that important.

• 30:59Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 30:59Barbara Corcoran?

  You know, you could just move right on. You could distract people. You try the next thing and there are eyes on that, if you're lucky. So no, it doesn't really amount to anything. It doesn't really amount to anything.

• 31:09Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 31:10Barbara Corcoran?

  It's self-ego. That is not really true.

• 31:13Lewis Howes?

  That's interesting because you say that most people are focused on themselves. So when you mess up publicly or you fail publicly, they'll think about it for a moment, but then they're on to their own thing.

• 31:22Barbara Corcoran?

  If you're lucky and they notice.

• 31:23Lewis Howes?

  If you're lucky and they notice. Most people won't notice. It just feels like everyone notices, right?

• 31:27Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, definitely. What about...

• 31:28Lewis Howes?

  Right, exactly. What about when you want people to have the attention on you for the things you're doing good? How do you keep the attention on you? The relevancy of yourself as an entrepreneur or an individual when people are focused on themselves so much? How do you keep them thinking about you, your brand, your business, your work, your mission?

• 31:50Barbara Corcoran?

  You have to think of a way to grandstand, you know.

• 31:54Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean by that?

• 31:55Barbara Corcoran?

  Uh, good old fashioned grandstanding. Like, I built my Corcoran Group brand on the backs of the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal and the New York Post, without a doubt. I would think of all kinds of crap to get media attention, okay? As long as my brand name was in there.

• 32:08Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 32:09Barbara Corcoran?

  The best, single best thing I thought of, which was really just an attempt to get publicity when I couldn't afford advertising, because it was a bad market, was my Corcoran report. And all that was, was a one-page report giving, giving the average sale price of apartments in Manhattan, is how I labeled it. I didn't, I was too stupid to know that that was a wrong label. It was just my 11 sales. But it was on the front page of the real estate section.

• 32:34Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 32:34Barbara Corcoran?

  I was quoted on the first line. And, boy, that was an eye-opener. That's how I learned that publicity can build a brand. Today's version of publicity that I look for in all of the entrepreneurs I invest in is how good are you at social media? I don't care if you're in the sock business.

• 32:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Barbara Corcoran?

  If you're in hardware, or what's going on? How good are your social media? What's your following? Those are the key questions now. How good are you at, at building attention through social media? Because that's the new free ride, not really free, but to a large degree free, just like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, my free ride, okay? So, you have to be creative, I think, in thinking of how you can grandstand. And so, what's, like, I don't know, I'm thinking, what's a business right today? Like, well, I don't want to use Cousins, we already talked about Cousins, like Grayson Lakes, which is a, started out as a baby sock company. Phenomenal entrepreneurs I have.

• 33:23Lewis Howes?

  Is this the long, like, the long?

• 33:24Barbara Corcoran?

  Lady stocking, yeah, with the little lace on top.

• 33:27Lewis Howes?

  I bought some of those for a girl before, yeah.

• 33:29Barbara Corcoran?

  And they make girls look sexy.

• 33:30Lewis Howes?

  They make them look great.

• 33:31Barbara Corcoran?

  And they're well-priced, and they're beautifully made.

• 33:32Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, they're nice, they're elegant, they're sexy.

• 33:35Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, now it's a full fashion line, and it's, I think, $17 million in sales this year. But what are they particularly good at? There's a husband and a wife team, Melissa, the- The wife of the team has gorgeous long legs. You may remember her from Shark Time. Her husband's more of a nuts and bolts guy, but great at business. What she does is she constantly models and talks directly to the camera. She has so many people that love her. She has limited edition. She goes out constantly, constantly. She's great at social media. She knows how to primp herself.

• 34:06Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 34:06Barbara Corcoran?

  Look sexy, talk to the ladies and get sales. Okay.

• 34:10Lewis Howes?

  So she uses her assets, her skills.

• 34:12Barbara Corcoran?

  But she does it on social media. And that's built their entire business, social media.

• 34:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 34:17Barbara Corcoran?

  And did I answer your question? Because I feel like I somehow got lost in my.

• 34:21Lewis Howes?

  How do you stay relevant when things are going good? Because when things are going bad, they'll look at you for a moment, maybe, where it seems like everyone's looking at you, but then they forget. How do you stay relevant while you're growing or while things are kind of going the same?

• 34:37Barbara Corcoran?

  I'll give you another example. I have a company I just bought in this past season. I was out of my mind to buy into them. It was two guys with a product called Coffee. It was a sweatshirt blanket. You slip into it, it's like a sweatshirt, but it's actually a blanket blanket. Why I say it was crazy to buy into it, none of the sharks, they were smart enough not to, is because they're two loud mouthed guys having a good time pitching their product. And they had no inventory. They had handmade their own product. Two prototypes had no idea what it would cost to make, what they'd sell, who they'd sell to. They had none of the answers, but they're great salesmen. And I said, I'll take 15 or 40%, whatever I got of it, boom. Just because they're great salespeople.

• 35:21Barbara Corcoran?

  And what they have done is they've done in their first year 11 million dollars in sales. They found a way to produce it and sell it. But a couple of weeks ago, it was very quiet. They have had social media coverage to the moon and back. But it was very quiet and they hand delivered. And I wish I could remember the famous actress name Sexy. Cool, long-legged actress. I'm so bad with names. Whoever she was. I think she was the same actress who closed the Oscars the other night. I might be telling.

• 35:50Lewis Howes?

  I didn't watch it.

• 35:51Barbara Corcoran?

  Ah, shame on you, my man.

• 35:53Lewis Howes?

  I watched the highlight videos. I was on a plane, so.

• 35:56Barbara Corcoran?

  Oh, come on. Well, anyway.

• 35:58Lewis Howes?

  I saw your little party, watch party on Instagram.

• 36:00Barbara Corcoran?

  So long. But anyway, they sent, hand-delivered to her front door, how they found it in Hollywood, the package. And she put on video her jumping on her bed and it. They quicker than a second, started a social media campaign, people competing with the jumps. They're Johnny on the spot. That's smart business. Okay, they're causing attention. They made it happen, and then they're gonna write it again, and it's gonna be all over social media all over. They're annoyed with me that I'm here because I don't have their product because they want me jumping on the beds. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna put the hood on. I have one girlfriend that has gorgeous long legs. I'm gonna Photoshop my head in to her long legs, and I'm gonna win the contest.

• 36:42Lewis Howes?

  Perfect, I like that. So grandstanding now is like more influencer marketing. If you can find creative ways to find people with an audience. Maybe it's a micro audience or a large audience.

• 36:53Barbara Corcoran?

  Or create an audience of your own, one by one. But you really have to be able to grandstand.

• 36:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:02Lewis Howes?

  And now, let's get back to this episode with Barbara Corcoran.

• 37:11Lewis Howes?

  I know you talk about the keys to entrepreneur success a lot, but for those who haven't heard you talk about it, what are you think some of the smart ideas in business right now? The smart industries to go into if someone's maybe talented, maybe they sold a company or they're trying to start as an entrepreneur. What's an industry you really like? A product, a section you really like?

• 37:33Lewis Howes?

  You know, is software, is it coaching, is it consulting, is it an agency, is it physical goods, food, what's the type of category you really think?

• 37:41Barbara Corcoran?

  You know, really, none of the above, okay? It's not my cup of tea to think of an industry that's, that you can, uh, there's certainly leading industries. I don't believe that's where your head should be if you're thinking of going into business. I think your head should be is what do you enjoy? What are you naturally inclined to be good at? What were you always good at? Things, these, these abilities don't change much. Whatever you're, you know, if you're gregarious as a young kid, you generally don't wind up as a bookworm, you know? When you get older and get a head on your shoulders, you're still gregarious. So I think what you have to do is think, what would suit me? What could I visualize myself doing where I could picture a happy picture of myself? And I think most people are capable of dreaming that up.

• 38:26Barbara Corcoran?

  I don't think it's an analytical kind of left brain kind of thing where you apply yourself to your best shot, like going and playing blackjack and putting your chips on the right thing. No, I think you have to figure out, you're the table, where should you put your chips? What, what's on you? What's true to you, okay? And so, for me, it took me 22 jobs to find real estate, but the minute I was out opening keys, you know, opening the doors and chatting people up and it didn't feel like work and I was the boss, I knew I was gonna be the queen of New York real estate. I knew it as sure as I knew my middle name was Ann. I just could see it in my mind's eye. I never had that vision when I worked my other 22 jobs.

• 39:09Barbara Corcoran?

  And the other thing, it's sort of related to what you asked. I think it's such wrong thinking that you have to choose your spot. I think it's like finding out what clothing you look good in. You gotta go try a lot of shit on the rack and see what works with you. And then you kind of, little by little, kind of get your look and what looks well with, on your body type, your personality, the colors that are good. I think you find yourself little by little. It's very hard to sharpshoot. It's not that kind of a thing. And you know, often the people, I know so many entrepreneurs well beyond or well before Shark Tank, peers of mine in many industries that have succeeded, no one ever went out for that industry. And so that's what I want to do.

• 39:50Barbara Corcoran?

  But you know what made the biggest difference in a myriad of those, if that's a word, a selection of those people, that made the biggest difference was they came along someone they worked for who believed in them. Getting one good boss that gives you an opportunity is worth a million intellectual thoughts and Harvard MBAs grouped up in a pile. Because you kind of can sometimes need somebody else to see that light, or you get into something you never thought you'd be interested in and you really love your job. And then that winds up being what you do for a lifetime. And so I don't believe that you've named the big industries. That's more Mark Cuban stuff. He's like high-level investment strategy stuff. But I'll put my businesses against is any day, one to one.

• 40:34Barbara Corcoran?

  Because I think I'm so good at seeing who's got that talent that matches where they are.

• 40:41Lewis Howes?

  If someone's approaching you for investment or to partner with you, and you could choose only three qualities that you would dream that they would have, whether that's, you know, never giving up, a grit, a positive energy, whatever the quality may be, and you could say if they had these three qualities, it doesn't matter what business they ran, maybe timing and the economy might play a little bit of part here and there, but like if they had these three qualities, they're most likely, I would bet on them any day.

• 41:11Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, well, that's what I do every day on Shark Tank. And I've gotten better at it because I've learned to hone in on those. I could think of two, maybe I'll come up with a third if I keep talking. All right, number one is salesmanship. I have never succeeded with any business where the principal didn't know how to sell. I mean, sales is the guts of every business. If you don't have sales, you're not in business, any business, applies to everything, okay? So, okay, if you're a technology nerd and really are in a technology space, but you better have a partner who could sell this shit out of it, or it ain't gonna go anywhere. Okay, so selling is number one. The other thing I look for, and maybe it sounds weird to you, but I've learned it to be a great, almost insurance policy, I look for injury. I look for anger in the individual.

• 41:56Barbara Corcoran?

  If I could find someone, and this is true of all my successful businesses, interestingly enough, if I could find someone who had injury at an early age... And has something to prove, I got myself a winner. It's like insurance, okay? So, when I say injury, meaning they were dunces in school. Like, three out of four, three out of five sharks were dunces at school. They're, they're out to prove, you know? I don't want to out them, so I, I wouldn't, I'm inclined to use the names, but I won't. I have entrepreneurs, usually successful, never had a father. And then when they went on Shark Tank, their father, after thirty-five years was back. And to how insulting and reach them, okay?

• 42:36Barbara Corcoran?

  I have entrepreneurs who were sports figures, almost going to be professional sports people, had an injury, but were fiercely competitive with someone who wound up in their space. They hate that person. Because they played against them in ice hockey. Crazy! All I have to do is name the other person, their sales go up.

• 42:54Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 42:55Barbara Corcoran?

  So, I, anger and proving is very much part of a lot of successful stories out there. It's an overcompensation, overproving, overdriving, like, I'll show you. Give me the I show you, something that went wrong earlier. And you've got a motivated person, and it gets you through hard times really well. And then, I'm coming up with a third. I can't, there's a million other ones, but none of them as serious as that. It's those two. You have to be able to sell, and if you have injury, to prove something, it's a wonderful insurance policy.

• 43:27Lewis Howes?

  How important is a positive attitude with those two things? Like, if you were negative...

• 43:31Barbara Corcoran?

  Oh, you don't, let me tell you.

• 43:33Lewis Howes?

  I'm just, I don't know.

• 43:34Barbara Corcoran?

  You're not even better get out of the gate. Well, there's negative people. All right, you know what's...

• 43:37Lewis Howes?

  You might be trying to prove people wrong and always nasty about it, you know?

• 43:40Barbara Corcoran?

  I get it. Let me tell you what's true about a negative person. You will meet them in the entrepreneurial space. You know why? Because they are far more comfortable criticizing the next guy than doing. Negative people are bloodsuckers. They just suck your energy away. You know, the nicest thing I did for all the people that worked with me over the years was get rid of negative people the minute I spotted them. I didn't care if I had cause, they were out. You know why? Because it's like, it's like letting the enemy quietly into your camp and giving them free rein. Negative energy is the enemy of all business, especially, I've always been in sales-related businesses. You let a negative person into a sales force, they have a pity party, all of a sudden they need one more person to feel sorry for them or to point out what's wrong. It's terrible.

• 44:23Barbara Corcoran?

  I would spot them, I would feel their vibe. Do you have a few minutes on Friday? I'd love to have a chat with you.

• 44:29Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 44:30Barbara Corcoran?

  Because I felt like I was saving my good people. You know, they were good, positive people. I don't mean criticism, it's invaluable in business. You need to have your criticizers to let you know when you're off and what you could do better. But I'm just talking about real blood suckers, you know? Everybody's met a few.

• 44:47Lewis Howes?

  I hear you, I hear you. Now, sales is number one for you. If they're a great salesman, you would bet on them. If they're a great salesman with something to prove, that's like the golden ticket, it sounds like. So how does someone train to be a great salesman if they don't know how to? Is it something they can learn? Or is it something you just have to be a part of your energy?

• 45:09Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, you had a question about positive. That's the blood that goes through a great salesman. Seeing the positive side of anything. A lot of people see that as baloney, I don't. It's just like, you show me a negative and I'll say, you know, you're right, it's a negative. But I can tell you what the upside of that negative is. So you have a bend toward being positive. So you must have that, okay, to be a salesman. If you don't, you'll never become a salesman. I don't care how hard you try. I think it's an intrinsic quality, a personality trait. I know you're not supposed to say that, everybody's supposed to believe you could become a salesman. I think if you're inclined to be outgoing and positive, you can become a better salesperson.

• 45:50Barbara Corcoran?

  But the real phenomenal salespeople that I have worked with and I've made my living my whole life in different venues with phenomenal salespeople, I am telling you, they come out of the gate, maybe not out of the womb, but they come out of the... Adolescent gate as salespeople. It's very hard to teach that. It's an artistic gift to be able to sell really well. Because think of how complicated it is. You have to read the situation accurately. You have to read the person and think of how you could use them in the way that they want to use themselves. And thank you in a thank you note 12 hours later, thinking it was their idea. That's a complicated little thing, right?

• 46:31Barbara Corcoran?

  And you need to think of how that person could be used for your long-term goal of the picture you want to create. So that's very complicated math in the head. And that's what great salespeople do. The best salesman, I hate to say it, that I ever met in my life and spent endless hours with him is Donald Trump.

• 46:52Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 46:52Barbara Corcoran?

  Unbelievable salesman.

• 46:55Lewis Howes?

  How so? What was it that made him so great?

• 46:57Barbara Corcoran?

  He can read the vulnerability of people. You walk into a room, he could see what's wrong with you. He could just feel and know accurately what's wrong with you and how he's going to use that to get his way. It's an instinctive trait. I don't know if he was that way at 12. But I met him at, I guess I worked with him since he was 27, 28. He is just a couple of years older than me. And we were in the same industry, the same town. So I had so many good dealings with him over the years until, of course, he owed me money. And I had to sue him, then he didn't like me anymore. That's all right. I got the money, that's all that counts. But he is a, he could sell anyone, anything.

• 47:41Barbara Corcoran?

  I witnessed it again and again, firsthand, in his office, in meetings. An unbelievable salesman. And that's exactly what he did with the American people. He sold them.

• 47:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 47:52Barbara Corcoran?

  You know, just, he's a great salesman.

• 47:53Lewis Howes?

  What's the vulnerabilities that he would look for? And how would he use those to get people to buy what he was selling?

• 48:01Barbara Corcoran?

  Oh God, I'm thinking of a million stories of him using my own vulnerabilities.

• 48:05Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 48:06Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, but they're kind of too long-winded to tell, I guess.

• 48:08Lewis Howes?

  What's one he would use with you and then one you saw him use with someone else? Like a vulnerability they have and then what he did to lean into that?

• 48:15Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, you know, actually I'm like on scary turf here because I don't want, I've been sued by him.

• 48:23Lewis Howes?

  Oh wow, okay.

• 48:24Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, so, but let me just do it in a-

• 48:26Lewis Howes?

  In a positive way.

• 48:27Barbara Corcoran?

  Okay, in a, my most positive self.

• 48:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:30Barbara Corcoran?

  So, for example, I would, I saw him, maybe a silly example, but I saw him interviewing huge ad agencies in New York for an advertising campaign, done all the time by large developers, right? And I saw him-

• 48:44Lewis Howes?

  To promote a building that he was building.

• 48:45Barbara Corcoran?

  To promote a building. He's gonna spend a lot of money advertising, that's a sizable account for any ad agency in New York. And also how to market it, how to frame it, how to name it. Marketing slash sales, but most importantly, sales and advertising. And I saw him sit at a meeting, because I was there judging who was the best person along with them for a development site. And I saw him meet person after person, like a beauty contest, person after person after person, and then blow up the ego of one team. Unbelievable what you created here, unbelievable. And I'm like, I don't get it, I'm a marketing person, I don't get it, I don't get it. Unbelievable, unbelievable, can you do this, can you do that? And that was all done. And then he did the advertising on his own. But he, I could see, why is he doing this?

• 49:30Barbara Corcoran?

  But now, in hindsight, I see, he knew that guy was gonna float and work for free because he needed the ego pet so much.

• 49:39Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 49:40Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah. And I'll give you a story of me that will sound, you'll think I'm a witchcraft person, I'm really not, you know? But I had a situation where my husband was a Navy captain and was sinking tanks along the East Coast. And Donald had just bought Mar-a-Largo, and they were erosion issues. So my husband said to me, "Why don't you call Donald Trump and ask him if he wants me to sink those tanks in there? And I'll do it right along his coast, courtesy of the US Navy. We need the exercise, I got the tanks." I said, "I'm not gonna ask him for anything." No, it's a favor. I'm not asking for any. He's not the kind of man I want to owe anything to. No, thank you, Billy. My husband badgered me, badgered me. Finally, I wrote a note saying, "Just on the off chance you're interested." Cowardly way to do it. I'm writing him a note.

• 50:25Barbara Corcoran?

  I saw the man all the time. "Just on the off chance you're interested." I thought, maybe. I rewrote it, rewrote it, rewrote it because I didn't want it to look like a favor. I was careful. Okay, my danger gene, doo, doo, doo, doo. Sent him the note. Got hired for a big job. We were at a big board meeting with like 30 people there. Every captain of the industry of the different trades was there. He's building me up for weeks. Barbara, Barbara, Barbara, Barbara. And then he decided he got out of me what he needed. And he said, "Did I ever tell you guys about the time Barbara wrote the note?" I'm like sitting there going, "No." He goes, "Yep." She was so afraid to ask me.

• 51:03Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 51:04Barbara Corcoran?

  That she must have written the note. How many times, Barbara? Four or five times?

• 51:08Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 51:10Barbara Corcoran?

  I was like, I thought I was in some kind of a horrible. Everybody's looking at me. She writes a note? She's afraid of you? Only the week before, I was amazing. He was done with me. I knew it. Didn't want to pay the commission. Done. Contract never got done.

• 51:24Lewis Howes?

  No way.

• 51:24Barbara Corcoran?

  So that is acute ability to read vulnerability. How would he know that? To this day in life. But I saw him do that over and over. He's just, he, yeah.

• 51:35Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 51:37Barbara Corcoran?

  Do you know, when I was selling real estate, I could always pick up between the lines, between what people said they would buy and what they'd actually buy. So they'd say they wanted a terrace. Had to have a terrace. Had to have a terrace. They were leaving for the terrace. And I knew a surest, I knew my name, that they weren't going to buy a terrace, that I was going to sell them instead on a view apartment, a new building versus a terrace, a new building that they wanted. Because what they were really looking for was charisma. That's an ability to read people, okay? And be able to substitute. So that's another version of that, but on the negative side. Does that make sense?

• 52:12Lewis Howes?

  You did it in a positive way. Yeah.

• 52:14Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, I could have done it in a negative way if I had that ability. I didn't.

• 52:17Lewis Howes?

  Sure, wow.

• 52:17Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah.

• 52:18Lewis Howes?

  So how did you see this with people then? Where you could shift what they wanted to something that you could still sell them in a positive way? Like you said, they wanted the terrace, but I knew they just wanted charisma. How do you spot that personally when you're selling a home or something else?

• 52:31Barbara Corcoran?

  I think most of us, if we listen well, could sense it. I think what it is, it's only delivery. First of all, very often you're selling couples or a single person and you have time to chat. If you get below the person's skin and kind of figure out what kind of person you are, very often you know better than they know what's gonna make them happy. They could be repeating what their peers said they should have or the way they, you know, you don't know where it comes from, but get to know them and you could reach your own conclusion. So I really found that the old slogan buyers are liars is really true. They don't mean to lie. But what you've really gotta do is, in any sales situation, really get into the person, ask a lot of questions and try it.

• 53:15Barbara Corcoran?

  Like if you, after you're visiting with someone, trying to sell them something, someone said, "What do they like?" What would you say about them? "What do they really like?" What would you say about them? That's where you find where the soft material to sell is, I think.

• 53:27Lewis Howes?

  If you were given three questions to ask any buyer, potential buyer, that came in to you, you can only ask them three questions.

• 53:34Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes.

• 53:35Lewis Howes?

  To try to figure out who they really were, what they were really interested in, or what you could potentially sell them.

• 53:40Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah.

• 53:40Lewis Howes?

  What would you say, maybe two or three of these questions that you would ask, to see what you could get out of them?

• 53:45Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, the first question I would ask is, "When do you need it for?"

• 53:51Barbara Corcoran?

  Urgency is 90% of it.

• 53:52Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 53:53Barbara Corcoran?

  The second question I would ask is, "When do you need it for?" And the third is, "When do you need it for?"

• 53:58Lewis Howes?

  Really? The rest doesn't matter?

• 54:00Barbara Corcoran?

  Because if you have a motivated person who needs something, you've got a sale.

• 54:04Lewis Howes?

  Doesn't matter, they're like, "We need it next week."

• 54:05Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, it doesn't matter, you have time to figure it out. But you get, instead, like as a real estate salesman, in a typical qualifying, in all my qualifying forms that I taught every salesman, every manager used my entire life, first question, bolder, the only one bolder, "When do you need it for?" Because salespeople will say, "Oh, so what are you looking for?" No, they miss the big question, "When do you need it for?"

• 54:24Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 54:25Barbara Corcoran?

  Because they will move all over the board as to what they'll actually see and what they'll actually buy. And you have all the time in the world, because how do you really know that? Because you haven't spent time with them. You're gonna actually believe what you hear? It's crazy. You need to spend the time to form your own impression of what they're really going to buy or what is, just really where the sale is or where's the opportunities. It doesn't just have to be in sales, it's in business deals, everything. You need to have the ability to spend time enough to read them well. But, the one thing you can ask upfront is, "When do you need it for?" Because I had more salespeople in the early years spin their wheels endlessly with the high-priced customer, all cash, this and that, price is no limit, but they didn't

• 55:10Barbara Corcoran?

  need it.

• 55:11Lewis Howes?

  For years.

• 55:12Barbara Corcoran?

  And they were, go to work with them for years and spend all that cab fare and car services. No, the, the need is the most important question you want in any sales situation. And any salesman that comes in and doesn't vet that out right away or on the phone is not a good salesman. I could tell right away, not a good salesman, they miss the main question. Yeah.

• 55:32Lewis Howes?

  That's good, I like that. Any type of sale you're looking for, you need to ask that question. What's the thing you're most proud of that no one knows about?

• 55:40Barbara Corcoran?

  There's really nothing that no one doesn't know about, I'm sorry. What's in my mind is on my tongue, out of my mouth, you know, one of those. There's really nothing that people don't know about, really. If, I wish I could come up with new stuff. I'm so tired of talking about the same stuff.

• 55:53Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing that you're proud of that you're just proud of the, the most that you've done? Maybe you don't talk about all the time, but something you've done, maybe it could be something small or big.

• 56:02Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, two things came to mind, big and small, so I'll give you both. Small, but somehow feels so big in my life, is when I first got my first profit for running the Corcoran Group, and I never made any profit year in year out. I pay, I was putting that cash back down long before I even had it in my hands. I was always reinvesting, reinvesting, because I wanted to see how far I could go. But in those years when I finally got my first profit, I had about forty-eight thousand or maybe a forty, forty-some odd thousand dollars. I could see, what, we're gonna actually have a profit? How did that happen? And I bought my mother and father a brand-new car each. I bought my mother a bright blue Pontiac convertible, because she always wanted, blue's her favorite color, she always wanted a convertible her life.

• 56:45Barbara Corcoran?

  And I got my father a, what do you call those big-ass cars that everybody like?

• 56:49Lewis Howes?

  SUV, Suburban, a truck.

• 56:51Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, all in this, you know, all the drivers you hire, they, in the old days, they had those big cars with the big backs, that, one of the, Lincoln Continental, no, Lincoln, yeah, not a Continental, Lincoln. And I had my Uncle Richie and his friend drive it out to Florida and deliver it.

• 57:05Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 57:06Barbara Corcoran?

  I remember at the time, there were so much in disbelief, because we always had a clunky old car with all the kids stuffed in the back, it was always, and all of us learned how to drive, we were always crashing that poor car. How my dad put up with it, through store windows, we were like, whatever, we were, each kid was learning, it got more dense. But I remember that day, and I'm so happy I thought of it in the moment, because it's bad when you miss these moments. I remember thinking, I'll never feel more satisfaction or richer than I feel in this moment. And it's not that I wished it upon myself, but you know, that's exactly been the truth. I've never felt as rich again, or as endowed, or as lucky, or as fulfilled ever again as that moment, you see? And so that, that was that, okay.

• 57:48Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 57:49Barbara Corcoran?

  And you, so I'm gonna say proud of. That was the most satisfying and such a, oh my god. Okay.

• 57:55Lewis Howes?

  That's good.

• 57:56Barbara Corcoran?

  The most overreaching thing I'm most proud about is I, I proved Sister Stella Marie wrong. I still hate that bitch. She was a nun from hell, and I later learned out that she was buried in the nun yard and that she had a drinking problem. I wish someone had told me that as a kid, that she had a drinking problem. Who knew that nuns drank, other than on Sunday, right?

• 58:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow, I didn't know.

• 58:16Barbara Corcoran?

  I didn't know either, okay. And of course, we were raised by nuns in our Catholic school, and they were all great except for the one I had, Sister Stella Marie. So I'm so proud that her messaging to me that I'd always be stupid just because I couldn't read, that I didn't let that determine my life, because I was, I, I had a hard time getting over that, you know? And I had the help, my mother told me I was a genius. So that helps a lot, you know, having somebody on the other side.

• 58:41Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 58:41Barbara Corcoran?

  But the idea that I've proven again and again, and now, it's a weird thing, I'm kind of very thankful to her, because I think because of her, I tried so hard.

• 58:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 58:51Barbara Corcoran?

  Do you know? So really, if she, she was kind of like an early version of Ramon Simone. She played that role. And I'm so thankful that I got over that, mostly because not only have I had success as a result of it, but mostly because I keep that message going out to all these dumb kids at school. It's such a sad thing, the kids are defined by how they do in school. And yet... Most successful people I know who built their own stuff weren't good in school. That's been an MO, I see. So I feel like I'm lucky to be around to keep getting that message out.

• 59:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and you said most successful entrepreneurs have a lower IQ or average IQ, right?

• 59:29Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes, well, I don't really know that.

• 59:31Lewis Howes?

  You feel like it's that way. They're street smart, they're not book smart.

• 59:34Barbara Corcoran?

  They're street smart, not book smart. But what I really mean by that is that, you know, that rejection card is a big kahuna in building anything in life, not just business. So they're too stupid to lay low when they've been smacked about. You know, most people get punched, you stay low, I don't want to get punched again. They just keep popping up like a jack in the box. Keep popping up like... And so that takes a certain lack of intelligence, I think.

• 59:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it does. Just keep going, you don't think about it too much, keep going.

• 1:00:00Barbara Corcoran?

  A smart guy would lay low, right?

• 1:00:02Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. I'm glad I'm not that smart.

• 1:00:04Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:05Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious. You talked about this, the first year you made a profit, forty thousand dollars, I think you said?

• 1:00:11Barbara Corcoran?

  Forty-seven, I think.

• 1:00:12Lewis Howes?

  Forty-seven thousand, five hundred and sixty-two.

• 1:00:15Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, I don't know about that.

• 1:00:15Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. If someone is an entrepreneur right now, let's just say they had their biggest year ever and they had a bunch of extra cash laying around. They're just like, wow, we finally made some money, an extra hundred grand, an extra three hundred grand, whatever it is, a million bucks. What should they do with that extra money? How should they reinvest it to continue to grow?

• 1:00:34Barbara Corcoran?

  Two things I thought of right away. Number one, they shouldn't have that money. Okay? If you're really serious about building a business, you put in the pedal of the metal, you're spending the money and putting the bets down long before it comes in. So the idea, like, I made a mistake that one year I had a profit. Shame on me. I mean, I made something good of it, of course. But you should really have any money coming in over aggressively targeted towards something that you do well. And I think the best place to put the money, and I work with my entrepreneurs all the time on this, and they're not so inclined. Most people want to put the money in on a new idea, a new version, or a new this. You know, the best place to put the money is what has worked. Where have you gotten your sales?

• 1:01:19Barbara Corcoran?

  Give me the sources, what has worked? That's where you put your money, all in, put it, pile it up until it stops working, then you move to something else. But people don't do that. People is like the new stuff, like, oh, but if we hire a PR company... You know, we really get, no, no, no, the trade show has reduced eighty percent of your money.

• 1:01:36Lewis Howes?

  Right, showing up and building those relationships yourself, yeah.

• 1:01:39Barbara Corcoran?

  Whatever has worked for you before, keep repeating, repeating, repeating. And I just think the money shouldn't be there in the first place. Do you know, my whole life, I opened offices much bigger than I had any business doing. If the minute I had sales in a company and started seeing that we were doing well, and I started smelling a profit, like we might get a profit, this thing might really start kicking in, I was out looking for office space. And if I needed, if I thought I needed eighteen desks, I'd go out looking for thirty-six.

• 1:02:06Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:02:07Barbara Corcoran?

  And I plunked the money down, start, because I, I found that when you threw the money on to your bet in advance, you find a way to make it work. If you wait till the time is right, and wait till you have the profit, guess what? There's a smarter guy out there that's already put the money, your competitor, and he's already ahead of you. And it's such a quick market when you're competing. You gotta like, like there's a, like the timer on you, you know, get it going. You have to have it done early, I think.

• 1:02:34Lewis Howes?

  So invest it back in the thing that's worked before for you until it doesn't work anymore.

• 1:02:38Barbara Corcoran?

  And more than you think you could handle. Because human beings who are talented, especially entrepreneurs, are remarkable on making things work when the gun's against their head and they're under fire. But gives them a lot of leeway and have them plot out, they start to go to sleep. It's really, it's really not healthy for a business.

• 1:02:55Lewis Howes?

  It's that pressure that allows you to really kind of have more urgency and make it happen.

• 1:02:59Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, you're a football player. Did you play better in a game or in practice?

• 1:03:03Lewis Howes?

  Game.

• 1:03:03Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, same difference, same old thing.

• 1:03:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, okay, so you said that was the first thing, was, you said there was two things potentially.

• 1:03:09Barbara Corcoran?

  So the two things that I wanted to say was, you shouldn't have the money, it should be spent way in advance. And the second thing is spend it on stuff that's worked before.

• 1:03:18Lewis Howes?

  There you go. When, I got a few questions left for you. I don't even wanna stop this, but I wanna make sure I respect your time.

• 1:03:22Barbara Corcoran?

  You are so handsome.

• 1:03:24Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 1:03:24Barbara Corcoran?

  And, and I must say, not just handsome, but the way you look at me, it's kinda hard for me to think you have a girlfriend.

• 1:03:34Barbara Corcoran?

  Because you are flirtatious. I know you're not flirting, but in my mind, I've convinced myself.

• 1:03:38Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 1:03:39Barbara Corcoran?

  You're into me.

• 1:03:40Lewis Howes?

  I am. I'm into you. I am.

• 1:03:43Barbara Corcoran?

  Oh, God.

• 1:03:43Lewis Howes?

  I love an interview.

• 1:03:44Barbara Corcoran?

  You tell Bill.

• 1:03:45Lewis Howes?

  I will, I will, I will. Okay, final few questions. I wish I had more time, but we'll get you back on here. And you have an amazing podcast.

• 1:03:54Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes. Oh, thank you. I was supposed to be here to promote it. I have such a bad one on that.

• 1:03:57Lewis Howes?

  It's called Business Unusual.

• 1:03:58Barbara Corcoran?

  Unusual.

• 1:03:59Lewis Howes?

  Unusual. And I just started listening to your first few episodes. They're short, bite-sized.

• 1:04:04Barbara Corcoran?

  I'm making them longer through popular demand.

• 1:04:06Lewis Howes?

  That's good. Yeah, I listened to one of the interviews that you had with, I think, was it Mike or someone in your team?

• 1:04:10Barbara Corcoran?

  Yes.

• 1:04:10Lewis Howes?

  The guy who runs...

• 1:04:11Barbara Corcoran?

  Mike Stevens.

• 1:04:11Lewis Howes?

  Mike. And then you have these other shorter, you know, 10-minute episodes that are beautifully done because you teach a powerful story and a lesson up front, and then you do some Q and A from listeners. So I think it's really well done. Make sure you guys go listen. Business Unusual.

• 1:04:25Barbara Corcoran?

  Thank you for the promotion.

• 1:04:27Lewis Howes?

  On iHeart.

• 1:04:28Barbara Corcoran?

  iHeart or wherever.

• 1:04:29Lewis Howes?

  iTunes, Spotify, everywhere, yeah. Make sure you guys check it out. This is one of the few questions I was curious about you. When do you feel the most pain?

• 1:04:38Barbara Corcoran?

  You don't mean physical pain?

• 1:04:40Lewis Howes?

  Emotional pain. Yeah. No, not like someone's punching you, but when's the... When do you feel like anger, pain, frustration? What happens in the world or in business or in relationships where you feel the most pain?

• 1:04:52Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, business has never caused me any pain at all. I mean, even the toughest of times, somehow I always felt I would make it. And so that gets you over a lot of pain if you could see the... If you could see the finish line. And it always was clear to me where the finish line was, you know? So in the worst of times, I didn't really feel pain. It's true, you have stress and you feel responsibility because you're providing... You're feeding a lot of people, if you think about it, and you don't want their jobs going away. So I felt the responsibility and the pressure of that. But no, the only area of my entire life I ever feel pain is over my children.

• 1:05:26Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:05:27Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, and I'm not a worrier by nature, but with regard to my children, I am. And I'm always, um, I'm always... And I have great kids that are doing well, so it makes no sense whatsoever. But I'm always feeling like I... I have no control there. And I'm scared to death that they won't have as fabulous a life as I have. And I don't mean about monetarily, because I think that's another whole issue. You can really wreck kids with money. It's easier to raise poor kids than rich kids, my own philosophy. So, it's not that, it's just that I want them to feel the satisfaction and the joy of accomplishing on their own, having truthful, good friends, having people that love them.

• 1:06:10Barbara Corcoran?

  And I'm always, I'm always over-concerned about it. Always concerned and fearful about it. It's a terrible thing. I should probably get a shrink. It's now, my youngest is 13, my oldest is 24, maybe a little late, but not so late.

• 1:06:24Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:06:24Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah. Maybe I need a good shrink, because I do worry about that. If that's the closest I feel to pain, like I start to think the worst, and yet there's no reason for it.

• 1:06:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah. That's fascinating.

• 1:06:35Barbara Corcoran?

  Not fascinating, it's ridiculous. Why don't you say it? It makes no sense.

• 1:06:38Lewis Howes?

  I think it's fascinating, that's where you feel the most pain, because as you said, it's where you feel the most love, too. With your kids.

• 1:06:44Barbara Corcoran?

  Oh, of course, with your kids.

• 1:06:45Lewis Howes?

  So you feel the most love and the most pain in the same place.

• 1:06:47Barbara Corcoran?

  That's not fair.

• 1:06:49Lewis Howes?

  I know, right?

• 1:06:50Barbara Corcoran?

  We just want the love part.

• 1:06:51Lewis Howes?

  We just need a trick, we need to learn how to...

• 1:06:52Barbara Corcoran?

  We just want your wall, love, love, love, love.

• 1:06:53Lewis Howes?

  I know, right, exactly. I'm curious, how do you raise kids when you have money? When you have lots of money, or an abundance of money, or more than most people in the neighborhood, let's say, or... How do you raise?

• 1:07:09Barbara Corcoran?

  How do you avoid spoiled brats?

• 1:07:11Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 1:07:12Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, entitled kids, the worst.

• 1:07:14Lewis Howes?

  How do you raise kids that do want to work hard, when you have, when they have the ability to have everything? Or you have a nice lifestyle, or luxury, or comforts?

• 1:07:21Barbara Corcoran?

  Mm-hmm. Well, number one, you have to realize, there's a lot of things those kids are never going to have that you have, okay? Which is the satisfaction of doing it themselves.

• 1:07:35Barbara Corcoran?

  So that's unfair. So in that way, the rich kids gets the short end of the stick.

• 1:07:42Lewis Howes?

  They have an unfair advantage by having an advantage.

• 1:07:45Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, yes, if you could follow that logic, I'll agree with you. Yeah, it's true. And so I think there are a couple of areas that I focus on, but still I worry. And I have a 24-year-old that has no airs, hardworking, you'd swear he was a poor kid. But he was an easy kid. He was born easy, he was kind of easy to raise, so I got lucky, okay? But I did keep my eye on a couple of balls, which I think a lot of my peers, other rich, rich affluent or affluent kids in the New York area especially, I didn't keep their eye on as parents. I think they help too much. I don't help my kids unless they ask, okay?

• 1:08:23Barbara Corcoran?

  So the extra tutors, the specialized training to compete, the cool look, all of that, I resisted. Okay, and it's hard for me because I want to do just like another.

• 1:08:34Lewis Howes?

  You want to give, you want to give.

• 1:08:36Barbara Corcoran?

  And then another version of that, but more powerful, is I let them fail, which is the hardest thing in the world for a parent. Okay? Hardest thing in the world, okay? So if someone, like for example, I watched A Very Big Difference, all right? I would have my son come home and complain about his science teacher. And my answer was, "Your science teacher's right, go in and figure out how to make him your friend." I had other peer moms, kids in the same class, that went in and spoke to the science teacher, made it very clear they didn't like the way he was talking to their kid. And you know what? They may have been right, he wasn't appropriate, this person I'm thinking of. But guess what? They missed the main thing.

• 1:09:18Lewis Howes?

  Doesn't matter, yeah.

• 1:09:19Barbara Corcoran?

  They should have told their kid to shut up and put up, because that's the way life is, okay? So I think as an affluent parent, you A. Give your kids everything that they had wanted to earn on their own. They've already had the fancy vacation, the lovely car, the this, that, the lovely home, the maid service. They didn't have to know and make their bed. They already had all that.

• 1:09:38Lewis Howes?

  First class supplies, yeah.

• 1:09:39Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, but then on top of that, you haven't allowed them to build their confidence because you don't, you shelter their failing. You're there to catch them, to buffer it. Ooh, ooh, ooh. And then the last thing is don't shepherd them toward where you see them. So many people buy into the right school, the right grades, the right industry, the right job, the right introduction, all this stuff. You know what you take from your kids when you do that? Their confidence. It's like you're in partnership. You're not in partnership. They were loaned to you. You've got to give them back and they're going to go out in the world long after you're gone. So I really try to hold back. It's a, it's a self-discipline.

• 1:10:15Lewis Howes?

  Challenging, yeah.

• 1:10:16Barbara Corcoran?

  Self-discipline thing. So it's more what you don't do than what you do. How's that?

• 1:10:19Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 1:10:19Barbara Corcoran?

  I wish I had explained that more succinctly, but I had to get around it.

• 1:10:22Lewis Howes?

  It's powerful. I had Sarah Blakely on and she said that...

• 1:10:26Barbara Corcoran?

  Lovely woman.

• 1:10:27Lewis Howes?

  She's amazing. Love her and Jesse. She said that her dad at dinner table every day would ask her, "What did she fail at today?" Like every day, he asked the question, "What did you do that you failed at?"

• 1:10:38Barbara Corcoran?

  Wow.

• 1:10:39Lewis Howes?

  So he made it a like daily requirement to fail at something.

• 1:10:42Barbara Corcoran?

  My gosh.

• 1:10:43Lewis Howes?

  And she said that was one of the keys.

• 1:10:44Barbara Corcoran?

  I hope he also gave a compliment.

• 1:10:46Lewis Howes?

  I'm sure.

• 1:10:46Barbara Corcoran?

  She's very positive.

• 1:10:47Lewis Howes?

  So positive, yeah. So I think that's powerful to like, let your kids fail.

• 1:10:51Barbara Corcoran?

  And she's a self-made woman with a huge success.

• 1:10:54Lewis Howes?

  Huge success. Spinx is crushed. Okay, this is one of the final questions, I promise.

• 1:10:59Barbara Corcoran?

  Thank God, it's almost over.

• 1:11:01Lewis Howes?

  This is called the three truths.

• 1:11:02Barbara Corcoran?

  Ah, I didn't know about this part.

• 1:11:04Lewis Howes?

  Yes, I ask everyone at the end, the three truths.

• 1:11:06Barbara Corcoran?

  I should have done better research.

• 1:11:08Lewis Howes?

  It's okay, it's okay. You'll be great at this. Imagine you have as many years left on this world to live.

• 1:11:15Barbara Corcoran?

  That'll be about 10.

• 1:11:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you have a long time. But for whatever reason, you've got to pick the day for you. You've accomplished everything, but one day you've just got to say, "Okay, now's the time. I got to go." And everything you've ever created, you've got to take with you. Let's just say hypothetically, right?

• 1:11:32Barbara Corcoran?

  Everything you've created, you take with you?

• 1:11:33Lewis Howes?

  You gotta take it with you.

• 1:11:34Barbara Corcoran?

  Sounds like a weird question.

• 1:11:36Lewis Howes?

  I know, hypothetical. Hypothetically, right? All your podcasts, your books, the work, your messages, you've got to take it all with you. So no one has your message that you've shared anymore. But you have a piece of paper and a pen to write down three things you know to be true about all your experiences, your whole life lessons. And these three things you would share with the world. That's what they would have to remember you like. What would you say are your three?

• 1:11:58Barbara Corcoran?

  I'm trying to give this advanced thought to come up with a good one.

• 1:12:00Lewis Howes?

  I like to not have a plan because you comes up with what's in the moment. So three lessons or three truths that you would share. What's coming on your mind right now?

• 1:12:09Barbara Corcoran?

  The first thing that I thought of is that people are wonderful. The next thing, maybe this counts as one, I don't know what your real rules are here.

• 1:12:18Lewis Howes?

  Go ahead, you make them up.

• 1:12:20Barbara Corcoran?

  The other thing or part of that, if you can't count it, is true.

• 1:12:23Lewis Howes?

  Sure, count it as one, yeah.

• 1:12:24Barbara Corcoran?

  Is that, that you have to see the light in people. You have a happier life, you have a more fulfilled and loved life, okay? And maybe three, the complainers, the people that say, you know, that bring you down, that don't have a sense of humor. In fact, maybe I'd replace it with, get rid of the clunkers and make sure you surround yourself with people who know how to laugh. You know, I only have friends that have a sense of humor. I learned years ago, because I get great opportunities to have new friendships and I, I bring new friends in my life, I don't know how I squeeze them in. But my criteria, after I've been with them once and I could tell they want to be my

• 1:13:08Barbara Corcoran?

  friend, I'm thinking, they really make a good friend, I think I'll invite them. I stop and I say, do they have a sense of humor? If they don't have a sense of humor, I end it right there. Because people with a sense of humor bring a whole bag of delicious things with them. They're big-hearted. They're sharers, they're generous of spirit and heart and physically they're generous. They're huggers, it's a big one to get hugged.

• 1:13:31Lewis Howes?

  I love hugging.

• 1:13:31Barbara Corcoran?

  Hugging is good. So if you could just qualify, they have a sense of humor. You wind up with a lot of good people in your life.

• 1:13:39Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:39Barbara Corcoran?

  And you wind up as a result of that with a great life. Because think about what's more important in life than who you surround yourself with. It's choosing the right people. That's a big thing in everything you do.

• 1:13:49Lewis Howes?

  That's it.

• 1:13:50Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:50Lewis Howes?

  I love those. Those are great truths.

• 1:13:52Barbara Corcoran?

  It's great truths. I don't know, did that count as three? I hope so.

• 1:13:55Lewis Howes?

  You have one more?

• 1:13:55Barbara Corcoran?

  No, no, I don't have any more left for me. That's about it. I want to get out of here now.

• 1:13:59Lewis Howes?

  That's perfect. Well, I want to acknowledge you Barbara for constantly showing up consistently. You've been consistently fun-hearted over the last decade that I've been watching you on TV.

• 1:14:09Barbara Corcoran?

  You're a sweetheart. You don't look old enough to have seen me that long.

• 1:14:13Lewis Howes?

  You've been consistently creating big results in everything you touch. Or seemingly in everything you touch.

• 1:14:18Barbara Corcoran?

  The ones I report.

• 1:14:19Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. And you continually are a huge giver. I love that you want to show up. You don't have to do the work you're doing. You've made enough money, you've had a lot of success, but you constantly show up.

• 1:14:29Barbara Corcoran?

  Don't credit me for that. I'm very selfish. I enjoy it so much. It's self-serving. Don't make it look like I'm here to give to everybody. I get it much more out of it.

• 1:14:39Lewis Howes?

  Of course, of course. Well, I acknowledge you for everything you do. It's amazing. And you've got your show. Is there anything else you want to talk about? People can follow you on Instagram, Twitter.

• 1:14:47Barbara Corcoran?

  Wherever. They follow me everywhere. I have a big mouth. But the most important thing is if they're going to watch Business Unusual, tell me what you like and dislike about it. It's still in the motion of being invented. You've been there a long time.

• 1:14:58Lewis Howes?

  I have. Six years.

• 1:14:59Barbara Corcoran?

  Six years. Amazing what you've accomplished.

• 1:15:01Lewis Howes?

  Almost 100 million downloads, 750 episodes.

• 1:15:04Barbara Corcoran?

  Well, all of a sudden I don't like you. It's funny how that just switched, right?

• 1:15:08Lewis Howes?

  Hey, you've got a career that I admire in other ways.

• 1:15:10Barbara Corcoran?

  Yeah, but I want to do it better. So I appreciate the feedback.

• 1:15:13Lewis Howes?

  So Business Unusual, check it out on podcast, on Spotify, on iTunes. Subscribe now, rate it, review it.

• 1:15:19Barbara Corcoran?

  And why don't you add in here, I'll give everyone who listens to Barbara's podcast 10 bucks if you write to me.

• 1:15:26Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 1:15:27Barbara Corcoran?

  No, you say it, not me.

• 1:15:28Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 1:15:28Barbara Corcoran?

  You say it.

• 1:15:29Lewis Howes?

  Oh, I'll pay for it. I was like, you'll pay 10 bucks? Amazing.

• 1:15:33Barbara Corcoran?

  No, no, no, no. You can pay it though.

• 1:15:35Lewis Howes?

  Okay, I like that. My final question is what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:15:41Barbara Corcoran?

  Always really trying everything in your power to just try harder to see it all work out, whatever it is.

• 1:15:50Speaker 00

  Thank you. Appreciate you very much.

• 1:15:53Barbara Corcoran?

  My pleasure. I wish I could take you home with me.

• 1:15:56Speaker 00

  Amazing.

• 1:16:04Speaker 00

  There you have my friends, such an inspiring and eye-opening interview with Barbara Corkin. I loved in the beginning where I got her to kind of get uncomfortable and open up a little bit about relationships because she told me afterwards, she was like, I wish you would have asked more business stuff early on because I wasn't prepared. And I said, that's exactly what I wanted to go into, to get you really talking about stuff that you haven't talked about very much. And I think by her doing that, we really allowed ourselves to open up in a big way and share some powerful insights. So I hope you enjoy this one. Make sure to share this with your friends, lewishouse.com/766, tag Barbara on Instagram. Take a screenshot of this, tag myself at Lewis Howes. Let her know that you're watching this, that you're listening to this.

• 1:16:47Speaker 00

  I'm sure she would love to see all of your support and see what you enjoyed the most out of this. Put a quote up of hers that you liked and share it on your Instagram story. Make sure to check out her podcast as well, Business Unusual. Again, she's got some inspiring stuff, stories and insights over there, and I really am enjoying her show. So make sure to check it out, Business Unusual, as well as Shark Tank on ABC. Powerful show. I love watching it. Big thank you to our sponsors and a big thank you to all of you. We continue to grow this podcast. We are almost at 100 million downloads. We're not there yet, but we're getting very close and it's all because of you. So I want to thank you so much for constantly showing up, for constantly listening and constantly

• 1:17:32Speaker 00

  sharing these episodes. We are always looking to grow at the School of Greatness. We're always looking to improve, to find the best talent to bring on an interview, to find the best information to help you solve life's greatest challenges and optimize your greatness inside of you. So, we appreciate the support. If you haven't left a review yet, make sure to leave a review. If this is your first time here, please subscribe over on the Apple Podcast app, on iTunes, on Spotify, or anywhere you like to listen to podcasts. We love your support and share these with a friend. We've got 766 episodes. We've got some incredible guests coming up very soon that I can't wait to share with you. So, I thank you all for all of your support.

• 1:18:16Speaker 00

  And as Bill Gates said in the beginning, "It's fine to celebrate success, but it's more important to heed the lessons of failure." Look at your life in the last six months and ask yourself, "What are some of the smallest or biggest failures you've had?" Really reflect on those. Reflect on how you can improve from those mistakes or failures you've made. See what you can do differently moving forward so you don't make those same mistakes or failures again. It's okay to fail. It's a necessary step on the path to success. Just make sure you don't make the same failures over and over again. Be aware of them. Take inventory. Give yourself the feedback you need and start moving forward with positive action towards your dreams.

• 1:19:01Speaker 00

  I love you so very much, and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.