590 Valentin Chmerkovskiy: The Art of Dance, Success and Pursuing Your Dreams

"Generosity is the key to happiness." - Val Chmerkovskiy If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/590 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 590 with Val Chmerkovskiy.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Albert Einstein once said, "Never give up on what you really want to do. A person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts." If this is your first time here at the School of Greatness, then welcome to the community. And if you are a regular, then welcome back to the party where every single week, we bring you some of the most inspiring individuals, lessons, and principles to help you really get to that next step in your life. And today, we've got Val Chmerkovskiy, who is a Ukrainian-American professional dancer, best known for his appearances on Dancing with the Stars here in the US, which he won twice. He is a two-time World Latin Dance Champion, Junior and Youth, and

• 1:17Lewis Howes?

  a 14-time US National Latin Dance Champion. Powerful. His new book, I'll Never Change My Name, is out March 8, 2018. Make sure to grab a copy right now and preorder it. In this episode, we talk about how dancing is viewed differently in Europe versus the US in relation to masculinity. Why it's not viewed as a masculine thing necessarily in the US, but it's more masculine in other parts of the world. Also, what ballroom dance taught Val about how to treat women with respect. Also, what makes an explosive, captivating performance, whether you're on the dance floor, on a stage, or in front of a group

• 2:00Lewis Howes?

  of friends. What success is and what it's really measured by.

• 2:06Lewis Howes?

  How to get to a place of confidence if you aren't feeling that way? Even when you're feeling down, how do we get to that place of confidence? That and so much more. Super excited about this one. Make sure to take a screenshot right now and share with your friends. LewisHowes.com/590. Tag myself and Val as well over on Twitter and Instagram. And before we dive in, want to give a shout out to the fan of the week. Over on iTunes, the reviews we get every single week, we review them and shout someone out. And this week is Ed Brooks, who said, "Over the years, I feel like Lewis chipped away at the rough Queens, New York exterior and made me a more compassionate man.

• 2:47Lewis Howes?

  Over the course of 11 days in 2018, I tested some of his suggestions to contribute more to others. It's made a profound impact on my personal health, my life, business, and as a husband. Thanks to you and your team." Ed from New York City. So Ed, we love you, man. We appreciate you. Thanks for being the fan of the week and leaving us a review over on iTunes. This is the year for you to continue to open up and chip away some of those rough edges. Don't take it fully away because that's part of who you are, but definitely lean into compassion so you don't let those rough edges hurt you so much anymore. So again, if you guys want to be considered as a shout out on the School of Greatness, just head over to iTunes and leave us a review on the podcast page there.

• 3:32Lewis Howes?

  All right, guys, let's dive into this episode. I'm super pumped for the one, the only Val Chmerkovskiy.

• 3:43Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got the legendary world champion Val Chmerkovskiy. Is that how I say it?

• 3:52Lewis Howes?

  It's awesome.

• 3:52Lewis Howes?

  Chmerkovskiy in the house.

• 3:54Lewis Howes?

  Dude, thank you so much for having me.

• 3:56Lewis Howes?

  So pumped that you're here, man. We got connected on Instagram. Love the Instagram. Probably, I don't know, like four, six months ago, we started following each other. And I was like, oh, just another dancer. I wonder if he's like interesting, but then we hung out.

• 4:11Lewis Howes?

  We got to connect and I was like, oh, you're actually a real dude who's got some great wisdom, great experiences. And you're much more than just a dancer on Dancing with the Stars, which a lot of people know you as. Uh, how many times have you won? Twice?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  I won twice, yeah.

• 4:26Lewis Howes?

  You've won twice. You're a, uh, world juniors and youth champion.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:31Lewis Howes?

  For Latin ballroom dancing, right? When you're what, 14 and 15?

• 4:35Speaker 02

  15 and 18.

• 4:36Lewis Howes?

  15 and 18, so world championship. That must be cool to be considered a world champion, right?

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's awesome.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  It's especially awesome, I mean, I mean, I'm in my 30s now, so like at 15, 18, for me to still take pride in a, in a title I earned so long ago. It just means that much to me because at the time, the junior world championships, I won a month after 9/11. And I grew up in, in New York, so just, you know, seeing that moment and seeing it unfold and seeing the city come together and

• 5:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  being an immigrant, for me, that was such a huge driving force to become the first ever junior world champion for the United States of America.

• 5:20Lewis Howes?

  As an immigrant?

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I mean, as a, as a human being.

• 5:23Lewis Howes?

  No one from the US would ever.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Has ever won, yeah, yeah.

• 5:26Lewis Howes?

  You were the first US to win world championship juniors.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  In juniors, yeah.

• 5:31Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was huge. And so that's, again, that's why I think it's, some people might look at that and be like, wow, okay, it's silly. He's still holding on to some junior title he won when he was 15. Uh, but to me, it was more than just a championship. It was more of my kind of, uh, rite of passage of kind of earning my space in, in this country and, you know, giving back in the smallest way. I mean, since then, I think I've given back a lot more, but for the time, I just really felt validated as an, as an American.

• 6:02Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. Wow.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  And again, I, you know, you had so many people that served this country afterwards and, and, you know, and obviously paid their dues in a, in a lot more significant way than I had. But as a dancer, as a human, like for me, that, that was.

• 6:17Lewis Howes?

  That was your best way as a teenager, what you could do to represent.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I felt like, again, I felt really, at that moment, standing on the podium and hearing our, our national anthem in Italy, uh, and, and the second and third place couples were Italian and, and they were ranked first and kind of the top couples, they were supposed to win really. Uh, and for me to kind of have that. On the dog moment and for our country and to be able to like stand there and hear the National Anthem played and see the flag. I mean, they had to like look for an American flag. No way. Because really, it's never been been the case before. So it really was, you know, in the late 90s, early 2000s, before Dancing With The Stars made ballroom dancing like

• 7:03Speaker 02

  the thing. It was like the Jamaican bobsled team to compete for the United States and in ballroom dancing because it was huge in Europe. Ballroom dancing is. Yeah. And so for me to, you know, represent the United States, it was like, what? There's a couple from the States? I mean, there were competitions where we were the only, you know, two people, my partner and I, from the United States in the entire event. So. And there's usually multiple couples from one country. Oh, yeah. Okay. So just to give you perspective, there's, you know, Russian nationals is like in the junior category alone, then youth, then in each category alone, like 500 couples. No, really?

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. United States, Italy, like another 200 couples, you know, England, huge, Germany, huge. I mean, all of Western Europe is huge. So tons of competition. Tons of competition, yeah. In the States at that time, if we had a semifinals, it was huge. You know, so just sheer. If you made it to the semifinals. No, no, no. If you've had enough couples to make up a semifinals or 24, meaning like 20 couples in the entire United States of America. You know, so if you think we're a huge country, yes. And we, you know, we excel in so many things, yes. Ballroom dancing was not one of them until, like I said, until this Eastern European community moved into

• 8:28Speaker 02

  Brooklyn and set up shop and made this like cultural tradition, which, you know, again, in Eastern European tradition.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Like dancing is not soft for men to do.

• 8:40Lewis Howes?

  Why is that? Why is it, you know, a strong or masculine thing over there, but over here until now, I guess, or it's starting to shift, it's looked at as soft or weak or feminine or girly or?

• 8:52Speaker 02

  I don't know. I mean, listen, I'm not giving, you know, Eastern Europe that much credit. I mean, it's still looked at as, you know, somewhat of, of, of not the most masculine thing you could do relative to boxing or, or, or wrestling or things like that. But, I mean, yeah, still, it, it, you know, we celebrate our dancers like Baryshnikov and, you know, Nureyev like. And we did to some degree, you know, the Fred Astaire's and Arthur Murray's and, and, you know, to some degree, Michael Jackson and et cetera. But there's definitely been like a renaissance in this country in the last 15 years to, because of shows like Dancing with the Stars

• 9:29Speaker 02

  and So You Think You Can Dance, uh, that really showcase another side of, of dance, especially when it comes to male dancers. You know, for us, if you can, if you could have the discipline to control your body in that type of range, you know, as an athlete. We respect athletes because of their ability to do extraordinary things. If you're able to have that athleticism while partnering a lady, while displaying artistry all at the same time, like, what can be better than that?

• 10:00Lewis Howes?

  I've, I heard from someone who said that dancers are gods athletes, athletes of the gods, right? Have you heard that or is it?

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I mean, listen, I grew up playing sports my whole life, so I, I didn't approach dance as a, as an art form. You know, I, I approached dance growing up as a, as a sport.

• 10:22Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 10:23Speaker 02

  And so these competitions.

• 10:24Lewis Howes?

  It was a sport.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  It was a sport.

• 10:25Lewis Howes?

  You approached it as like, we're going to practice where there's competitions on a weekly or monthly basis.

• 10:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 10:32Lewis Howes?

  There are prizes.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Right. I can't eat like, you know, I gotta eat right. Uh, I gotta stretch and, and, you know, and, and run and, and raise my stamina and, you know, and do like these supplementary exercises to, to stay in shape. Yeah, I mean, for me, like I said, that's how I treated.

• 10:48Lewis Howes?

  When you grew up in the US or when you grew up.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  Well, I I started dancing in the States. I have an older brother Max and he started dancing in Ukraine. Uh, because of just an after school activity. My parents never danced. It wasn't a big thing in our family at all.

• 11:02Lewis Howes?

  But it was celebrated in the country.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, in the country was, like I said, it wa- it was a thing that.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  You know, it's not the national sport.

• 11:11Lewis Howes?

  You're not playing soccer, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, or playing hockey, but uh, it was definitely a cool thing to do, you know, my parents. The the way it came around is is my brother was put into this after school activity. Uh, after school program rather that that taught young boys, you know, chivalry and etiquette and all these things and so. There was like, you know, table manners classes and and, you know, some some other class and one of them was. Uh, a ballroom dance class, just so you you you know, you know how to present a lady, you know, courtesy and pay respect to one another. Uh, and maybe even, you know, we talked about that too, is like, you know, ballroom dance really. Made me comfortable around a lady and and and made me less awkward and maybe, you know, because.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  So that was probably all part of that uh, class as well and so. You know, then then the dance teachers are always recruiting, especially boys, you know, because there's so little of of them dancing, so. She came up to to my parents and was like, wow, you know, your your son really's got potential, to my brother. And maybe he didn't have any potential at all, but you know, they'll take a body and so. Uh, they were like, all right, man, okay, fine. And so they signed him up to to actual dance class and then that's it. And when we moved to the States. Uh, you know, my parents couldn't drive us everywhere, so it's like, my brother's going to dance, you're going with him, you know.

• 12:30Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  While they, well, they did other things. And so I started dancing really in the States.

• 12:35Lewis Howes?

  When did you realize that you had like a passion for it as opposed to just, this is something my mom takes me to and.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  I don't know, man, like, I've definitely, you know, built a new relationship with dance after I joined Dancing with the Stars. Which is crazy, cuz you know, to some degree, you you moved to Hollywood and, you know, it was kinda selling out a little bit.

• 12:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Pursuing a TV show, rather than, you know, living out of a suitcase as a, as a struggling artist. You know, that that was my life before Dancing with the Stars. Uh, but I was fulfilled, you know, my pride was, I mean, I got a bank full of pride till that point.

• 13:11Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Uh, but, but my whole life really was, you know, until Dancing with the Stars, I really looked at it as a sport more than, more than anything, and also, my kind of way out of the situation I was in, that was my kind of source towards success and and then financial stability and and all that.

• 13:28Lewis Howes?

  Dancing was your, your way out to become financially successful?

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 13:33Lewis Howes?

  Even though, how many dancers make money in the world?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Very few.

• 13:36Lewis Howes?

  In ballroom dancing, right?

• 13:37Speaker 02

  In any dancing, very few. Uh, not a lot of artists, period, make money, anything creative like that, but, like I said, for me, it was the tools that I learned competing in ballroom, definitely I can apply to everything else.

• 13:51Lewis Howes?

  Well, now, when you were done, I guess, high school, moving on, did you say, I'm gonna pursue being a professional ballroom dancer and like compete around the world and try to win, I guess, the seniors championship, world championships? Or, and how much money can you make doing that? If you're like the top five couples?

• 14:08Speaker 02

  I I just, like I said, I definitely was not driven by money at all, because there wasn't really much money. I I I appreciated that I had a tool, that at twelve year, twelve years old, I, my first job, I danced in a Russian restaurant on Brighton Beach, like on Coney Island with with my brother, it was a two couple show. And we were getting like twenty-five bucks, uh, to, you know, sometimes, while that tacky live band plays, I mean, I'm sure you've seen like a mob movie before where

• 14:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Russian restaurant scene, so you got like, the live band playing like synthesized tacky music. Uh, but then you also have like this cabaret showcase or whatever. And so, you know, my partner and I, my brother and his partner, the four of us would come out and and do like a ten dance performance.

• 14:55Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Uh, and, yeah, and I get twenty-five bucks and then You know, I saved up like two hundred bucks and bought myself a Game Boy. Then saved up some money, bought myself a pair of Jankos. I don't know if anybody knows Jankos, like, no offense to Janko, like probably one of the worst fashion. Right. Uh, moments in, in the history, but it was like the coolest thing in the nineties and obviously my parents are not spending that money on, on like, you know, excess denim floating from your waist. Uh, but I wanted something to fit in in school. So like I earned that Janko, you know, and I bought my first pair and with my own money. So for me, I had this relationship with dance as my source of providing.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  You know, first of all, yeah, I was twelve and, and it wasn't really maybe a long-term goal at all, but you know, I, I never really. I felt bad until this day. I don't have like long, long-term goals. I just, my overall, like that are clear. I, I have these vague kinda. I just wanna be successful and I wanna be able to uh, be, you know, kind of provide for myself and the world around me as, as. I guess as far as I could see, I wanna be able to provide for, you know, so. It's my immediate family at first, then it's my, you know, circle of friends and then beyond and beyond and, and you know, now as, as much as I could travel and,

• 16:20Speaker 02

  and, and help in, in places that I, I don't have like a family tied to, I, I'm, I'm driven to do so. Yeah. And, and you know, dance has become that vehicle for me. So. Right. I'm very grateful that, you know, and it's only recently that I really forgave my parents for putting me into this. Really? But I, I'm definitely grateful that things turned out the way they, they did. And at the same time, I'm like, I, you know, if it wasn't dance, it might've been something else. Yeah, but you're also a classically trained violinist. Yeah. At a higher level, right? I, I played violin for sixteen years. That was really the.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  The art, you know, like, I I think, first of all, I was great, you know, I I was blessed with the best parents ever. And I think that's really the key to to my success, to be honest, at least one of the major keys. Uh, and and they, as parents, just kinda put me into so many different things. And I think sports is important. It teaches you, you know, besides giving you the strength physically and and having you connect to your body, which is important. Uh, it it teaches you camaraderie and and and how to be part of a team, which I think down the line really helps you out. Um, I think creativity and and being part of the arts and and helping you, you know,

• 17:39Speaker 02

  develop the the creative part of of of your upbringing, I think is important. And academia, I think, is really important. So those three things were were huge for my parents. And and violin was my art. So, uh, they put me to to music school when I was five. That was back in Ukraine. And our music school was like the most well-known. It was like the Juilliard of of the Soviet Union, of Eastern Europe, you know. And so, uh, I got in and then when we, and I started playing violin. And then at eight, when we moved to Brooklyn, they found a a a teacher, again, a Ukrainian immigrant. There there was a violin teacher. She was a little older and she was teaching outside of her apartment, you know, out out of her apartment. Yeah.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  And they signed me up and I would come take private lessons. Her husband was a professor of Russian literature and history. And so he would teach me like Russian poem, poetry and and and literature from the great Russian writers, Pushkin and them. And then she would teach me violin for like two hours. Wow. And then. Every day? Uh, like three times a week. Wow. And then she had me sign up for a youth orchestra i- in Manhattan. And and with that youth orchestra, I became concert concert master of the orchestra. And then I got a chance to play in Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center. That's amazing, man. And play, you know, and then that's the thing, it's like, people hear, oh, Carnegie Hall, Lincoln Center.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  And nursing homes and like, you know, hospitals and so many other places like that also were just as fulfilling of performance spaces as a Carnegie Hall.

• 19:19Lewis Howes?

  Right. What was the biggest lessons that dance has taught you in general about being a great human being?

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Uh, again, I mean, when you're a kid growing up, it's not like you're taking, you know, taking notes on, oh, that was a great lesson I just learned about, you know.

• 19:36Lewis Howes?

  But as you think back now.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  But as I look back in hindsight, you know, I'm so grateful because it definitely taught me camaraderie. I think camaraderie is so huge, at least in my life.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Being part of a team and, you know, kind of having a common goal between two people, you know, and having the, you know, not having the ego to, you know, want the spotlight for myself only, but to be able to share the spotlight with someone else. And I'm a lot more comfortable, actually, now that I look at it, like sharing the spotlight. So in a way, my partner and I won juniors and we both stood on that pedestal together, you know, sharing that first place together. And I think that was huge and the fact that, and again, in hindsight, looking back at the fact that it was with a girl that I shared that moment with and I create, you know,

• 20:30Speaker 02

  created that camaraderie with a female, you know, not this fraternal world of sports that is kind of very fraternal or, or female driven, you know. It's like male, male sports and female sports and it still keeps them divided.

• 20:44Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  I think it was cool that I got to be a teammate with a girl my whole life and learn how to, you know, from a, from a sports perspective, you know, be a teammate with, with the female. But then like. From a life perspective, I mean, I learned a lot about, you know, connecting with the with the female and then through, you know, with an eight year old, ten year old girl at that time, twelve, fifteen, eighteen, you know, and then seeing the evolution of human nature amongst boys and girls was like crazy too.

• 21:14Lewis Howes?

  Crazy, man.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  But it was nice to, again, grow up with the female so present in my life.

• 21:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and you probably gained so much confidence just in general life, right, from

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 21:26Lewis Howes?

  Leading your partner, a female partner, and like having to be attentive and listening and really being aware.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Intuned, yeah.

• 21:33Lewis Howes?

  Right, because as a as a male leader in a in a male female partnership of dance, you've really got to be connected and listening to all the signals and signs, right? All the energy, if something's off, is she feeling it, if she not, is she disconnected? And how to quickly shift that if you want to have a great performance.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Right, and how you are only as good, excuse me, as you're only as good as your partner, you know, as your teammate, as she is, you know, and so for me, like if she's having an off day, I have a role in in making that a better better day for her. But yeah, and then outside of that, performing, I think it's it's so awesome, even if I ended up being a lawyer or or a doctor, the the ability to, since I was a kid, stand in front of an audience, whether it's an audience of of, you know, twenty elderly people in a nursing home, or thousands of millions of people on Dancing with the Stars, or, you know, back in those days, you know, performing, I mean, the venue always changed.

• 22:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Uh, but my approach of of that that accountability and and and being able to kind of step up to the occasion really helped me out down the road, for sure.

• 22:46Lewis Howes?

  What do you think are the key elements to having an explosive performance? In terms of just chemistry and connection to the audience is just wild. What are those elements that need to come from you, or need to come from your partner, and need to come together?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  I mean, I I I thought about that. I I think authenticity is is is a huge thing.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Like we're, you know, I I have a tour this spring, we're going on the road. And it's kind of the follow up to to a tour we did two years ago with my brother. And it's it's like it meant a lot to us and it did really well. And now we're going out on tour again. And I'm thinking like, how are we gonna make this the best tour ever?

• 23:31Speaker 02

  I mean, do I think of myself as the best dancer in the world? Not really, honestly. So how am I gonna produce the best product people have ever seen? And I realize like, the best is really just you at your best, at your best. Like the most authentic you you can create, that's the best version of what what you can create, period. You know, and so I'm I'm I learn a lot from others. I observe and I I don't have the ego to say, that's not nothing worth my time. I'm very in tune with what others are doing and I'm really, you know, very complimentary of what what others do. But ultimately, I I take what I can from from learning from them.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  But then, you know, I I make it as authentically me as possible. And so, you know, back to your question, I think people are really inspired by seeing people just super comfortable and authentically themselves. You know, whether they're playing ball or whether they're performing, dancing, I think it's just or like playing music, creating music. I think anybody that's creating are the most powerful when they're, you know, can exude that authenticity.

• 24:45Lewis Howes?

  How do you get to that place if you don't feel comfortable with yourself?

• 24:48Speaker 02

  Practice. You know, I I think ultimately, it's like, it's not so.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  I don't know, it's it's it's it's pretty like, it's not so fancy. You know, the like, the road to success isn't as as fancy or as like, complex as people make it. It's like, honestly, just action is really important, doing like, wake up, be consistent in your preparation. And and and it'll probably like, you know, most likely will add up. Like, it's it's really mathematically proven formula of like, the more you do something.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  The more likely you will succeed in that, you know, it's like the chances are higher. Now, there are no guarantees, obviously, but you you raising the chances of your success by by continuously doing something. But yeah, preparation, I grew up, my dad had wrote this huge quote over his his desk because at the dance studio, you know, my my dad owned the dance studio, ultimately got into the business of dance because my brother was, you know, wanted to open up a dance studio.

• 25:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  So he was the teacher and my my dad kind of managed that. And so I I was there every day and over his desk is favorite quote is fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. And pretty like, I mean, to some degree is pretty shallow of a phrase. I mean, this is definitely a cliche that everyone knows now. Uh, but I'm old school like that. I really believe that, that, you know, confidence, it's like chicken or the egg, what comes first? The confidence or or or, you know, or the the great performance? You know, you have a great performance, so you start believing in yourself, then you have the confidence. Or you have to have confidence first to to really perform at your best. But honestly, it's just like work, you know, that's the, it's like the the poster you have.

• 26:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  You know, it's like an iceberg and and people really just, the performance is just the tip of the iceberg.

• 26:45Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Behind it is is all the the meat of it.

• 26:49Lewis Howes?

  Absolutely. When you're approaching, uh, you know, a new partner, either on the show or a performance you want to do in general. But when you have a new partner that you're supposed to go on a journey with and you have competition, Dancing with the Stars, performances, whatever it is. How do you approach that? Maybe it's someone who is a good performer and has confidence in themselves. Maybe it was someone who's never danced in their lives.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 27:13Lewis Howes?

  How do you approach connecting with them in order to get the best performance out of someone?

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Uh, I, I mean, at first I I just try to connect to them like on a human level, you know. I I think I'm a pretty cool guy, so. I don't know, it's too hard. No, but I I I, like I said, I try to win them over in terms of just making them feel like I have their best intentions in mind. You know, I'm here, you know, this is the first thing I say, like, I'm I'm I'm here for you. I'm, you know, loosely speaking, at your service. I mean, I'm not, but I I am here, I'm I'm at. Your service when it comes to you fulfilling yourself in this competition. And that can't be, you know, you will never reach your peak without your own effort.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  But you have a hundred percent of my undivided, unconditional attention and effort. And I'm here for you, you know, and so hopefully that gives them a little bit of confidence. Gives them a little bit of inspiration to match that intensity and match that passion that I have for them. You know, I wanna, I guess the way I put it is I have to earn my, my voice, you know? And, and I use it at rehearsal, I really use it, you know, I'm, I'm tough, but I gotta earn that. And, and I earned that by, you know, walking the walk, not just demanding things from them. Like you gotta do more and you gotta be better, but actually, you know, earning that kind of demand first by actually showing up and, and doing it myself.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  But then, yeah, but then it's, then it just put, you know, then it pushes the person to, to really squeeze every ounce of their effort into the project. And that always ends up being a win for them. Whether we win or not, they walk away like, damn, like I could actually apply myself to anything and really, really accomplish anything I want. I mean, how random is this? I actually became a ballroom dancer out of nowhere. It really isn't so much about the dancing as much as the growth of the person.

• 29:15Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  And dance is such, such a great, again, it's just such a great platform with, with such a great tool to, to connect to people.

• 29:26Lewis Howes?

  I mean, when I, I started, you know that I salsa dance, I showed you a little fifteen second clip. And when I started learning how to salsa dance, I think it was about twelve years ago, eleven, twelve years ago. It gave me so much more confidence with everything else in my life. You know, just having the skill to knowing that I could do it whenever I needed to with anyone who could understand. Cause it's a language. It's like you either speak the language or you don't. You can't really fake understanding Spanish. You can kinda get some stuff, but people are gonna know that you're not from a Spanish speaking country unless you really speak it fluently. And when I started learning it, it was one of the most terrifying things I'd ever done. Right, for three months I was terrified.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Why?

• 30:11Lewis Howes?

  I think I was terrified because I didn't want to look silly, I didn't want to look stupid. Cause I couldn't do it, I wasn't good. And so I, and I always remember telling girls who wanted to dance with me, because I lived above a jazz club that would play jazz and have salsa dancing once a week. And I would go down and watch, and I was fascinated by just all the sauceros who were out there. And I was like the only tall white guy in the building. And all these girls would ask me to dance, and I was like, no, I don't want to make you look bad. I would say that all the time, I don't want to make you look bad. Really, I didn't want to look bad, but I also was embarrassed because I didn't want to make them look bad. Cause all these guys were making them look amazing, and I was like, there's no way I could do that.

• 30:52Lewis Howes?

  And it wasn't until, you know, after a few months, I finally was convinced to try it out. And I did more, and I finally just dove in and said, I'm gonna make people look stupid. I'm gonna look stupid until I figure it out. And it took me a few months until, I remember I finally, I couldn't figure out how to do a double turn. Like in one, in one moment. I could do a single turn and then go back into the steps, but I couldn't double turn or triple turn or four turns.

• 31:17Speaker 02

  It's gotta be in the same time.

• 31:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, same time, right? And I couldn't figure it out. Like my hand was all messed up, I didn't know how to do it. And then one day, someone finally taught me how to do it. And it was like, all of a sudden, I was fluent in salsa dancing. I like finally got it, right? And I had so much confidence with everything I was doing after that. It was like the thing that was getting in the way. And it just made sense after that. I didn't have to count steps. I could just feel the music. I could feel the music and I could connect with my partner as opposed to looking down at my feet. And like trying to see where's the one beat, where's the five beat, you know, I didn't have to count anymore. And it gave me so much more confidence in my life. I had such a respect for. Women in general after that, so much more.

• 32:02Lewis Howes?

  And I would go out to the salsa club two, three times a week. And I remember for me, it became an art. It was like something I appreciated very much where it wasn't like, how can I go like hit on girls? I really wanted to appreciate the experience. And it built such incredible relationships with people through, I mean, the, the, the dancing world. The, the people are so wise and caring and giving and cultured and intelligent and just all doing really creative things. And I just really appreciated my experience and I still do. But I feel like it gave me so much confidence with speaking on stage, with doing interviews, with connecting with humans in general.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 32:44Lewis Howes?

  Because it was like the ultimate insecurity. You're putting yourself out there on a dance floor in front of one person and in front of everyone else.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:54Lewis Howes?

  So it's ultimate vulnerability.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:56Lewis Howes?

  Right? And you have to, you have to put yourself out there in order to connect, to get a great experience.

• 33:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:04Lewis Howes?

  Like you said, you've got to be authentic.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have to be authentic and I mean, that's where the partner kind of comes into play as well. I got, I got a lot of confidence from my partner as well, you know? It's not just me giving to them, but I, I get so much more in return, you know? So it's like, when you talk about standing in front of an audience and performing in front of people like, I drew a lot of inspiration and strength from my teammate, from my partner.

• 33:30Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 02

  But yeah, like you said, it's, it's a language too, and I, I forget about that. It's so awesome to be able to connect with people.

• 33:37Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:38Lewis Howes?

  And I remember, you know, I think at first I wanted to look good and then I said, all I want to do is make my partner look good. And I think when you make your other person look really good, you look really good.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:50Lewis Howes?

  You know what I mean? As opposed to making it about you and having to do all this little solo stuff. When you're just like, how can I listen to my partner and connect? And like, see how she's feeling? Am I spinning her too many times? Is she getting tired? Like, how can I really make it an experience for her?

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I mean, on the most shallow level, like that's the sexiest thing about it. It's like, that's when I look my best is when I present my lady in a way that makes her look like a queen. Then in return, you know, I, I'm a reflection of that. My coach always said like when you come out to perform you want all the females watching. You know, to look at her and be like, man, look at her perform. He must be so great to dance with.

• 34:31Lewis Howes?

  Right. I want to look like that girl, right? You see her perform and everyone wants to be dancing with you.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Right, and I think it goes for relationships as well, you know, I mean. If my significant other is unhappy and, you know, is.

• 34:47Lewis Howes?

  It's a reflection of you.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:48Lewis Howes?

  It may not all be a reflection of you.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Absolutely, yeah, but I mean, to some degree, yes, everyone's independent and everyone's strong, et cetera, et cetera. But we all need a little, you know, love sometimes and part of that love is, is, you know, being supportive and, you know, inspiring the, motivating that other person. And I get a lot of that, you know, through my experience with dance.

• 35:11Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Did you ever get made fun of being in America, dancing all the time, going to these classes? It's like you're not, you're a little girl, you're not masculine enough here.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  All the time.

• 35:20Lewis Howes?

  Little wussy, little dancer boy.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Okay, keep going.

• 35:25Lewis Howes?

  What do people say?

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Bro, my name is Valentin, you know, I was a ballerina, ballerina, like, I was a million things.

• 35:32Lewis Howes?

  But it's more masculine in, you know, Eastern Europe, right?

• 35:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:37Lewis Howes?

  It's more celebrated.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a little more celebrated. Ultimately, like, it was tough.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  But at the same time, I'm not gonna like dwell on it, like, I'm not gonna sit here, oh, I was really bullied. Like, of course I was bullied, but I also think that that's kind of part of life, you know? People are not gonna all celebrate you all the time. Like, there are gonna be people that are gonna look at what you're doing and laugh at that.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  But do I say, like, am I gonna say that that motivated me even more? Eh, not really, like, it just, I, I'm lucky enough to have had other voices that were so much louder in my life and so much more prominent that.

• 36:18Lewis Howes?

  Keeping you focused.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I muted those voices out pretty quickly and I really loved it. Like, you know, you couldn't talk me out of it, like, you know what I'm saying? As much as I wanted to fit in in school, I, I wasn't gonna compromise what, you know, the happiness I was feeling dancing to do so. I just kept it to myself. I mean, to be honest, I did keep it to myself. I was winning competitions and. And and maybe that is another thing that kind of helped me with my ego check as well as like No one knew. No one knew, you know, and so I would come into school, I had to fit in on on on, you know, those other levels of of of cafeteria politics, you know, which is, you know, sports.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  I was always great at sports. I played basketball. I was up on, you know, just cultural things or local culture of, you know, growing up in in in Brooklyn, like hip hop was huge. So not not to not, I didn't do it to fit in, but like I I was a product of the culture around me and I was pretty cool and and social and, you know, it's just I had this little secret that after school I went and and and ballroom danced. So in high school, people didn't know that you were doing this? No, I mean, the first thing i- in elementary school, I I actually tell the story in the book, but like, uh, before I even learned English that well, um, my school put on a play Happy Days

• 37:47Speaker 02

  and I played Patsy. And so I didn't get the Fonzie, obviously, spot or any of the cool kids, but I got Patsy, which is cool. Yeah. Uh, and and they had like a little dance that they, you know, she choreographed like a little two-step, whatever. And you were like And I killed it. A machine. Oh, I was a machine. People like, who's this kid? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I was, and it was the first time I got to communicate and and and connect, you know, and that was my language be, you know, before English became my language. Uh, and so that I kind of blew my cover on that. But it was already too late for kids to not like me, you know, they were already friends with me because I I'm I'm like their their favorite teammate to play ball with, you know, so it's too late to just like this on me now that they know I'm a ballroom dancer.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Right, right. So I definitely don't make it the first thing I say. I don't go to a club and like, hey, I'm Val, I'm I'm extraordinary dancer. This is really the last thing I say, not because I'm trying to keep it,

• 38:47Speaker 02

  keep it away from people, but I just, you know, first of all, I'm a human being, you know, the worst thing right now, you know, with my celebrity, my pseudo-celebrity status, is like, I always hear it, you know, "Why don't you just stick to dancing? Like, keep your opinion to yourself, stick to dancing." I hate that, like, it kills me because, like, before I am a dancer, I'm a human being, you know, with the thought process and emotions and like, the whole emotional palate and an opinion, a train of thought, and, you know, before we even get to dancing being a big part of my life, there's so many more other, you know, so many other parts of my life that really dictate my, you know, decision-making and personality and who I am, so.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, dance, dance has been great to me, you know, but, like I said, now, as I grow older, I'm building a new relationship with it, and I appreciate it even more now.

• 39:44Lewis Howes?

  Do you think dancing, becoming a great dancer, has allowed you to become a better man? Do you think it correlates with one another? When you understand how to dance with a partner and really treat them well on the dance floor, that that translates?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 39:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  I think to a degree. I mean, look, I'm not vouching for the entire dance community.

• 40:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  There are a lot of, you know, I don't know if misogynist is the right word, but like, there's definitely a lot of discrepancy there as well. I think, you know, people are gonna be people regardless.

• 40:17Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  In general, but me personally, for myself, yeah, it definitely played a role, you know, just even, even that train of thought of, you know, even, you know, when we bow at the end of the dance, it's, I'm always in shadow position, you know?

• 40:35Lewis Howes?

  Behind.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I'm saying "thank you," and I'm saying "thank you," you know, and I'm presenting, like, the piece of work, you know, I'm the frame. I'm a fancy frame, you know, golden crusted and everything. But she's really the, you know, the work of art and, you know, together we create this experience that you get to see every time, you know, every time you look at us perform. That... Principle, you know, taken into the real world when I go out with my lady. Uh, I'm really not trying to be front and center. Uh, and, and maybe she isn't either, uh, but I'm much more. I'm a much more giving individual and, and I'm much more like inclined towards. You know, presenting.

• 41:19Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  You go get the table.

• 41:20Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, maybe to a degree that, that, that helped me with that.

• 41:27Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  But there's also physicality behind it that probably helped me out a lot.

• 41:32Lewis Howes?

  Like what?

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Um. Just being able to embrace often and, and not, you know, be comfortable with. You know, the close proximity when, when it comes to at least meeting. Meeting girls, understanding the distance, you know, respecting the distance. You know, uh, but also being comfortable with. You know, organically, you know, making that distance smaller and smaller, you know, metaphorically speaking.

• 42:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course. Wow, man.

• 42:06Lewis Howes?

  What's the biggest failure you think you've faced in your life?

• 42:10Speaker 02

  My biggest failure? I mean, I fail all the time. You know, so I, I. Nothing comes up in my head. Because I just don't. Like, I'm not really looking at my failures. I, I try to keep them moving. No pun intended, but yeah, I try to, I try to keep it moving like. It's hard not to, obviously. It's not, there's no like secret formula, but.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  I think it's, it's already. I'm, it's already a win when you try, you know, and, and it's. I'm the last person to talk about, you know, participation awards. I'm, I'm so. You know, against that. I'm, I'm last, you know, I'm old school when it comes to that.

• 42:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  But.

• 42:55Lewis Howes?

  First, second and third.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, but ultimately it's like.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  You you either, you know, what what they say, and I'm not, I'm not the one that that said this, but like you either win or you learn, you know, the reality is when you give it everything you have, and that's the key, it's like when you give ninety nine percent of it, eh, you know, no, it's like you gotta give a hundred percent of what you have, and when you do, I mean, how can you ever feel like you you failed?

• 43:24Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  You know, so my biggest failure is is when I didn't give it my all, you know, but uh, when I did, it was always a success. I mean, to some degree, you could even, I mean, who said that me being on Dancing with the Stars, me winning Junior Worlds, or me being two-time Mirror Bowl champion is is success by any stretch of the imagination, you know, success is a relative term. I find it success because I gave it every, absolutely every ounce of what I had every single time. So that's how I measure success.

• 43:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's the thing you're most proud of, that most people maybe don't know about you?

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Damn, slick. Some beef.

• 44:04Lewis Howes?

  Slick like your hair.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  I know.

• 44:07Lewis Howes?

  Slick and clean.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  I got it, man. I got a fro. I gotta keep it down. Uh, what am I most proud of? I'm I'm most proud of,

• 44:18Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm most proud of being a a good son and and a great brother and a decent friend and like those those things I'm most proud of.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  I'm I'm most proud, you know, of of being able to buy my mom a car, like, uh, two years ago, three years ago. That was a proud moment of mine. Um, and then outside of that, I'm I'm just, I'm I'm proud. I'm proud that that I was lucky enough in my life with all the influence and all the experiences that I had that, you know, as as much of an ego as I may have, it it never kept me away from learning and never stopped me from looking at someone else and being like, wow, that was awesome.

• 45:04Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  And and ask, you know, how how did you do that? Or or be a fan of other people's work and I really think that that really helped me a lot because I'm I'm never too cool to learn something new.

• 45:17Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Biggest lesson your parents taught you?

• 45:25Speaker 02

  Well, my mom, probably just, you know, eat my vegetables. Um, my dad.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, you know, my, my dad is.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  The biggest lesson I, I learned from my dad is, I think, is in line with how you do anything is how you do everything. And so his whole thing is like, I don't care what you wanna be or what you go, you know, what you wanna pursue. Uh, but you better give it like a hundred, you know, a hundred percent of your effort every single time. So if you were, you know, if you wanna be a, a garbage man, you know, you, when you take out the garbage, you take out the garbage better than anybody has ever taken it out. You know, if you're gonna dance, you're gonna, you're gonna dance better than anyone has ever performed, you know, and give that much effort. If you're gonna play ball, you're gonna be the best basket, you know. So for him, it was more about squeezing every ounce of you to try to, you know,

• 46:23Speaker 02

  achieve excellence in everything that you do.

• 46:25Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 46:26Speaker 02

  Uh, rather than like pursue this or pursue this. He never told me what to do in that sense. All he did was kinda guide me to be at my best all the time.

• 46:37Lewis Howes?

  Was he too hard ever? Was he kind of like pushing you to practice and train?

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:43Lewis Howes?

  Kinda too much or was it just the right amount?

• 46:46Speaker 02

  No, I think it was just the right amount. I, I think, no, ultimately, it's like the, the, the biggest lessons I learned are really not by him preaching anything to me, but just by his actions. You know, this was a, you know, my parents were thirty five years old when they picked up, you know, two, two grown, grown kids, fourteen and eight, and left their entire life, their ancestry. Like, people don't, don't realize that. Like, when, when people immigrate to America, they really like leave everything behind. So to be thirty five years old, two kids, family and friends, and, and to just get up with no job prospect, nothing, and, and leave to another country.

• 47:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Set up shop and then, you know, I'm young, but I, I was very present. So I, I remember the everyday struggle and sacrifice and.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  You know, like I said, my dad, I mean, to some other, on some other level, like my dad also could have abandoned the family. Like thirty-five, really driven, ambitious, handsome. You know, he could have just been like, this is really hard. I'm, why, why I gotta work in a pizzeria right now to feed four mouths when I could be out and, you know, and just take care of one. Uh, but he never did, you know, and so actions like that, he stuck it out and, and, you know, realized potential for two of his sons to, to go on and, I mean, what are the chances of two Ukrainian kids that, that immigrated to Brooklyn, grew up, uh, you know, ballroom dancing, find themselves in Hollywood, the most, one of the most competitive, you know, industries in the world,

• 48:19Speaker 02

  on one of the top TV shows of, of this generation at the same time. You know, that's a, that's a result of my parents, my parents' sacrifices. You know, and so that, that, those are the biggest lessons. Though, you know, he, he gave me like a size twenty-three shoe to fill. So as a father, as a man, as a, as a, as an entrepreneur, as a human, like, that's somebody that I, I idolize and learned a lot from, not in some specific message he, he gave me, but more of like everyday action that he put in, every day until this day he does. You know, now I have to, I lecture him on things, you know, I, I try to help him out and, and give him some guidance.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  Because he's so, you know, not stuck in his ways, but like sometimes I'm like, dude, there's a lot more to life.

• 49:09Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 49:10Speaker 02

  You know, showing up to work.

• 49:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, wow. And what's the greatest gift that Dancing with the Stars has given you?

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Uh, the opportunity to, to connect to so many people. Uh, and then on a smaller scale, the opportunity to help.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Someone else, such a vast degree.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  I'd never thought in my life that this project was gonna give me that opportunity. You know, I thought I was going to L.A. to showcase my, my dance ability and yeah, I'll teach real quick. But ultimately, it's, it's really about me and showing my talent. And, you know, like I said, I've built a whole new French, uh, relationship with dance because of the show. Uh, and most, mostly because it, it put me in a role that I found myself embracing so much more than I ever thought I would. And that's the role of mentor and guide and, and caretaker for, for, you know, in my case, uh, these celebrities that come on, onto the show, not, you know, having no expectations

• 50:15Speaker 02

  and, and leaving with it being one of the more monumental moments of their life and life-changing experiences.

• 50:21Lewis Howes?

  For almost everyone that goes on the show and stays on for a while, it's,

• 50:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:25Lewis Howes?

  It's a life-changing experience for most of them, they say.

• 50:27Speaker 02

  I, I would, I would say so. And then, uh, yeah, I mean, I could only speak on my own behalf, you know. People that I've, I've had the pleasure to be partnered with.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Like I said, I think just having one other person show their unconditional, undivided attention and effort towards them really inspire them to, you know, go all out and,

• 50:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  And do any, you know, pursue whatever, whatever they, they want.

• 50:56Lewis Howes?

  You got a new book that's coming out and it's called, "I'll Never Change My Name: An Immigrant's American Dream From Ukraine to the USA to Dancing with the Stars." Make sure you guys go get the book. Uh, you can preorder it or get it out right now. Barnes and Noble, Amazon, all those places. Where can they connect with you online personally?

• 51:19Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm, I'm, I'm really present on Instagram.

• 51:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  I'm at I Am Val C. I guess I changed my name.

• 51:28Lewis Howes?

  You shortened it.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  But yeah, I, I'm, I'm getting better with social media. It's, it's just a lot, but,

• 51:35Lewis Howes?

  What is it?

• 51:35Speaker 02

  Instagram, Facebook.

• 51:36Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and do you have a personal website as well or no?

• 51:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:38Lewis Howes?

  No, Instagram, Facebook. I Am Val C. And what's the main thing they're gonna gain from this book? Why, why should they get this? What's, what's in this that they should know?

• 51:50Speaker 02

  I mean, in terms of the title at least, you know, I'll never change my name is within the context of the conversation. One of the things I've experienced joining Dancing with the Stars is how I quickly became the Russian kid. And I'm, first of all, Ukrainian, which is whatever, which is cool. But, you know, the conversation we had about how proud I am of being the first American to ever win a junior world title for this country, ever, you know, seventeen years into living in this country, being proud to be an American, I joined this incredible show

• 52:33Speaker 02

  in which I am the Russian kid, you know, and I guess the whole idea is that Smirkovsky will never sound less foreign, you know, but it doesn't make me less of an American or less proud to be an American or less driven to make this country a better place. And even that message alone, I think, can help a lot of people, you know. Valentin Smirkovsky is not, you know, John Smith or Johnson or anything that's, you know, red-blooded American. But, like I said, and with the conversation of immigrants, you know, right now, it's

• 53:17Speaker 02

  so important to know that as an immigrant, the last thing I ever felt was entitlement. And the first and the most, you know, motivating thing I've ever felt was gratitude. Yeah. You know, I'm so grateful, to this day, I'm so grateful to my parents for making the trip, but ultimately to this country for opening its doors and giving me a chance and, you know, hopefully in next generation, because of, you know, Maxim and Val Smirkovsky, who made this impossible to pronounce last name a household name now.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Hope Felice Mikowski won't sound as foreign to people next generation. Like, I don't know, like, an Italian last name now doesn't sound as as foreign. An Irish last name doesn't sound as foreign. A Jewish last name doesn't sound as foreign, you know, but these were all, you know, early nineteenth century, twentieth century, you know, you would you would listen to those last names and be like, immigrant. Now it's as American as it gets.

• 54:22Lewis Howes?

  True, true.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  You know, so.

• 54:23Lewis Howes?

  If you think about it, most, I mean, most of us are immigrants. I mean.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, this country is built.

• 54:29Lewis Howes?

  My grandmother's mom came over and parents came over from Italy and my other side came over from England and Wales. It just wasn't my parents.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 54:39Lewis Howes?

  So, you know, I'm a I'm a product of an immigrant, you know, family.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Right, lineage.

• 54:44Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, so.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  We all are. But, yeah, but thi- this isn't a political book at all. It's it's just one one nuance that I'm I'm proud to talk about because I think it's an important conversation to have. Gratitude, like, just just so grateful, you know, no one, no one's coming into to this country to, and again, I'm I don't want to generalize, there there are a lot of, you know, I I speak for myself and and at least the circle of immigrant friends that I have, is that the feeling is like, man, how can I contribute? Like, how can I prove that, you know, this this, you know, the baton that you've given me, like, I'm gonna run the fastest lap you've you've ever seen, you know, so I'm gonna make a difference in this country.

• 55:31Lewis Howes?

  I want to ask you a couple of final questions. This one's this one's called the three truths. If this was your last day many years from now, and you achieved everything you wanted to achieve, you said everything you wanted to say, you did every type of artistic expression that you wanted to do, it came true. But for whatever reason, all the content and information that you had out there, books, videos, was all erased. And you had a piece of paper and a pen.

• 56:01Lewis Howes?

  That was left and you got to write down three lessons where three things you knew to be true about your experience that then you would pass on to the world and that's all they would have to remember you by.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:12Lewis Howes?

  Are these three truths. What would you say are your three truths from your experiences to date?

• 56:18Speaker 02

  Uh generosity is the key to happiness. And that just came out.

• 56:25Lewis Howes?

  There you go.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  I've never said it like that, but yeah, if I had to do three truths, like I really, I really believe that. Um, and it's so easy and it's like, it's like a, it's like a cheat code in life. Like if you're ever down and feel depressed, do something for someone else. And it's like you'll see your day broadened, you know, lighten up and you also see your worth just rise to yourself, you know? We're all, I mean, especially in today's world, you know, social media is so incredible, but at the same time, I feel like it's also adding to so many people's anxiety and like people feel like they're missing out or, or, or not doing enough or running out of time.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Um, and I think, yeah, when you wake up and you're, you know, questioning yourself and I have friends and I go through it all the time. I mean, the easiest thing is to, you know, on whatever scale, it's all relative to you is to just try doing something for someone else.

• 57:24Lewis Howes?

  That's good.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Um, second.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  This might be stupid, but like, you know, stay physically active. Like honestly, I'll, you know, it's, it's not as complex as people make it. Life is, is like, there are pretty simple tools in life that could turn it around for you. And I think it's not about the aesthetic, the physical aesthetic. Rather than the the the feeling that you feel when you're physically active.

• 57:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  That's the other thing is like, I'm really grateful to dance for. I thought about it like, I was recording the audio book for this and I was in a booth sitting for hours every day and I was just thinking like, how lucky am I that my job requires me to move? Uh, because after the the the session, I couldn't wait to go to the gym, you know, but people unfortunately have to make time for the gym because their work doesn't, and I was lucky enough to constantly be moving. Uh, but yeah, moving.

• 58:25Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  Whether it's in the form of of dance or sport or just exercise for yourself, movement is key. Uh, those two, and then the third one, the three truths. Damn. Hmm. So what I got, I got generosity is the key to happiness.

• 58:44Lewis Howes?

  Health.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Health, movement.

• 58:45Lewis Howes?

  Movement.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  Uh, and that the best pizza in the world comes from Brooklyn, New York.

• 58:53Lewis Howes?

  I'm gonna have to have it in Brooklyn next time with you. I like that. Um, before I ask the final question, Val, I want to acknowledge you for your your generosity and your gifts. You know, in a world where it's not cool to be a male dancer, you make it cool. You make it accessible and you show the power of masculinity through dance. How actually you can be a masculine man, human being, and still be gracious and grateful and caring and compassionate and giving. And I think, you know, when you're leading someone on the dance floor, you're really being in service to their to their experience.

• 59:36Lewis Howes?

  And when you're leading people in the world, you're being in service. And I think that's one of the keys to being a great human, masculinity, all those things, they they combine for me. So I acknowledge you for following your dream as an artist and pursuing it, no matter what money is involved, and showing other people what's possible for themselves by pursuing that craft, for being your authentic self, for showing up passionately, and for constantly pushing the envelope of what's possible. So we acknowledge you for that, man.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  Thanks, man.

• 1:00:09Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course, of course. Make sure you guys get this book.

• 1:00:13Lewis Howes?

  I'll never change my name. Check him out on Instagram @IAMVALC. And the final question for you is, what is your definition of greatness?

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  These questions. What is my definition of greatness?

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  My definition of greatness is being a master of a craft

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  whilst using it for, you know, to help the world around them. And, and, and yeah, and in that process, you know, being a master and keeping your humility. I think that's awesome. I think when someone is truly a master or mastered a craft of some sort that they dedicated a lifetime to, and then they use that craft to make their world a better place.

• 1:01:09Lewis Howes?

  Val, appreciate you, man. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

• 1:01:16Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this one. I hope you got to dive in a little deeper behind the man of Val. And if you're an artist or someone who is into creativity, hopefully this inspires you to be able to continue to pursue your passion in your art and also earn some credibility and success around that, whatever success looks like to you. And as the great Albert Einstein said, "Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts." If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends. Tag me @lewishouse on Instagram. Make sure to tag Val on Instagram as well or on Twitter.

• 1:01:58Lewis Howes?

  And the link for this is lewishouse.com/590. Share it out. Take a screenshot of your phone with listening to this app right now. Post it on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. I'd love to connect with you over on social media. It means the world to me that you continue to listen. And more importantly than listen, that you apply these principles to your life. That you take action and implement and execute these things. And make a massive impact on the people around you. Your friends, your family, your loved ones. You follow through on becoming the best version of you. So that you inspire those around you to do the same. You were born for greatness. This is what your destiny is. And you know what time it is.

• 1:02:41Lewis Howes?

  It's time to go out there and do something great.