577 How to Connect with Influencers, Thought Leaders and Decision Makers

"FOCUS ON INDIVIDUALS WHO REALLY INSPIRE YOU." Wrapping up this year, I'm doing an inventory of what's worked in my life and business in 2017. Similar to the last Coffee Conversations with Cesar, I wanted to go over one of the most important keys to the success I've experienced this past year. Partnerships have been a massive key to my success. The podcast has grown because of the key people I’ve met and had on the show. Some of those relationships have grown into amazing business opportunities and big win/win moments. So I wanted to do a solo round on what I've learned through the years about connecting and building powerful relationships with influencers. I haven't heard a lot of people talk about the best ways to do this -- but I have seen a lot of what doesn't work going on. So in this episode, I cut straight to the truth and get real. My intention is to shine the light on what actually does work so that you can create quality relationships. If you hear me say things you've never heard anyone else say in this, let me know! I'm always interested in your feedback. Here's the truth about building relationships with influencers the right way in Episode 577. In this episode you will learn: The 3 C’s to remind you to connect with thought leaders: Chill - Let them know what they’ve done has inspired you in some way (3:50) Curiosity - Ask thoughtful questions about the things that matter the most to them right now (5:42) Care - Be of service, give on something specific, find a way to tap into their heart (7:22) How to email someone: Research them (13:35) Find 3 points of connection (14:58) Make it about what you can do for them (17:54) What not to do: (18:37) Don’t ask for advice Don’t ask for a favor Don’t ask to pick their brain Don’t ask to work for free Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 577 on how to connect with influencers, thought leaders, and decision makers.

• 0:08Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:34Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to another episode. Super pumped, guys. As we're getting closer to the end of the year, I've reflected on so much that we've created as a community, the School of Greatness community. We've done some incredible things this year, and we're just getting started. We are just getting started. So I hope you guys are finishing out the year strong. I wanted to do a solo round all about how to connect with people of influence. And partnerships has been a massive key to my success. From 10 years ago, when I started getting on LinkedIn and reaching out to people and people said no to me, nonstop, to all of a sudden, nine out of 10 of the influencers,

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  celebrities, CEOs, decision makers, millionaires, billionaires, started to respond to me. And there were things that I learned early on 10 years ago that worked, that didn't work, and that I've continued to use to just reach out and connect to people. And I wanted to talk about some of these things that I do and that I see other people doing really well on when they send emails or when they meet people in person, or how they get in contact with certain people to either interview or partner up on different business deals, things like that. And the podcast has grown because of a lot of the key people that I've met and had on the show. Again, we've done, what is this, 577 episodes right now?

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  And if it was all just me for those 577 times, it wouldn't be as big and as powerful because there's only so much that I could say. But when I'm able to bring on, you know, some of the biggest thought leaders in the world, billionaires, millionaires, top executives, celebrities, personalities, world-class athletes, you know, to people who have massive influence. That's interesting. You know, I get to learn from them. I get to hear their stories. I get to get their insights, their wisdom, their knowledge and share it with all of you. And I learn it myself and apply it to my life, but also we get to learn and grow together. And that's what this is all about, the community of greatness.

• 2:39Lewis Howes?

  And again, the podcast wouldn't be as big without being able to reach out and connect with these individuals. My business wouldn't be as big, my books, which have a lot of the interviews from these people wouldn't be as interesting. A lot of the things that I do comes from the information of other people that I get to meet and connect with. And also the power of promotion, you know, when, when you bring someone on, on a business deal or a partnership or for the podcast or an interview on, on video, and it's a powerful piece of content. More likely than not, they will share it out. So again, it helps in multiple ways to grow your audience as well.

• 3:21Lewis Howes?

  And some of these relationships that I've met, just from an email conversation or a one-time meeting in person to then bringing on the podcast to then helping them with so much in their business or their life has turned into many other big partnerships for me over time as well. And some people I've, you know, invested in companies with other people I've brought business deals, opportunities. Other people I've gotten some mainstream massive press for them. And all these things are just about giving back. So I want to share with you the three Cs to remind you on how to connect with thought leaders. So just remember these three Cs to remind you again on how to connect with, reach out to,

• 4:05Lewis Howes?

  and build relationships with thought leaders, influencers, CEOs, celebrities, and people of influence. And the first C is chill. Chill out when you're looking to connect with someone who is in a powerful position. An influencer, celebrity of some type, chill. Say something thoughtful, whether it be in person or an email. Say something thoughtful first, you know, make sure that you've read their book and tell them how it impacted you. Let them know what they've done has inspired you in some way, you know, really. Don't make it about you and what you're up to.

• 4:48Lewis Howes?

  Chill out, be cool, and say something thoughtful about what they've done that's impacted you. Or something they've done that's impacted the world or an industry in a specific way that you really respect. You know, I think flattery does go a long way. You know, when I get an email of someone that says, you know, I read your book and in chapter seven, you talked about this. And right in that part, I started to open up and realize certain things about my life and how much it's impacted me from just reading that one story. You know, for me, you know, it's nice. It's nice to hear that the work I'm doing is impacting people. And so when someone sends a random email saying something thoughtful

• 5:33Lewis Howes?

  uh, or that that I've done that they've created an impact in some way, then that's, that's nice, you know, it's nice and I'm more receptive to wanting to respond back and say, hey, thanks so much. You know, let me know how I can support you. So that's not going to work all the time, but you gotta be chill first. And you gotta say something thoughtful, whether it be reaching out an email, online, social media, if you're direct messaging someone. You know, don't just ask for something. That's the worst thing to do. Uh, be chill, be chill, be chill, be chill. Think about what they've done that's inspired you. Number two.

• 6:08Lewis Howes?

  The second C is curiosity. Curiosity. Ask questions about how they got to where they are in their life. Ask thoughtful questions about the things that matter most to them right now. So again, don't say, hey, can I have some advice right now? Can you connect me to this person? Can you do this for me? Can you take a look at this for me? Can you invest in this? Can you promote me? Can you have me on your show? Can you do this? Can you make this introduction? Don't ask what they can do for you. Ask a question about how they got to where they are. Asking thoughtful, insightful things about what matter most to them right now. Curiosity.

• 6:51Lewis Howes?

  This is something that I think I do pretty well. When I meet people that are influential, I'm not asking them what they can do for me right there. I say, man, I'm just so curious how you, how you went through this process. And when this tragedy happened in your life, how did you overcome it? What were the first things you started to do? Who did you reach out to and lean on? I'm just curious and fascinated by human beings. And I think if we were all more curious about other people, we would be able to build better relationships in general. As opposed to just trying to be transactional and say, hey, can you do this for me? Cause you are influential and I need help right now and I want to get to where you are. Become a friend to people. Think about how can I be a better human being?

• 7:35Lewis Howes?

  And how can I support humanity by lifting others up first as opposed to asking for something right away? Curiosity, ask thoughtful questions. The third C is to care. Care, be of service. Give to them on something specific and find a way to tap into their heart. Find a way to connect to the thing that resonates the most to them. So a lot of people that I meet, I'll, I'll go through this process. I'll say, hey, listen, you know, I'm a, I'm at a different stage right now because, you know, I've got a platform with the School of Greatness podcast. So a lot of people are looking to promote a book or a CD or something they're working on. So I may be able to book them to get on the show.

• 8:19Lewis Howes?

  But afterwards I say, you know, what's the thing that's the most meaningful to you right now in your life? And a lot of people will talk about, you know, the charity that they support, or some people have their own foundations or something that they're really inspired by. When you ask questions of the heart, people start to light up. You see people's face change. You see the energy shift. When you tap into what matters most to you right now in your life? What's the thing that brings you the most joy, the most meaning? You know, their, their whole energy starts to shift. And then I say, okay, how can I be of service to that thing? Because I want to lift up humanity. How can I serve?

• 8:59Lewis Howes?

  These influencers, these people who are in this position, to give to them, to not ask for anything but to give to them. So I will write checks right on the spot to people for their foundation. I've written a ton of checks to people that have come on the podcast and said, when I've learned what their foundation is, at the end, I just say, hey, I'm going to write you a check and I hand it over to them right then. And then I don't ask for anything, you know, I'm not asking, hey, can you do something for me? I don't do that. All I think about is how can I be a friend, be a friend to them? And when someone has this type of position, they're getting asked all the time for help from people. They're getting asked for people to promote them, to share something, to tweet them.

• 9:42Lewis Howes?

  Uh, if I had a dollar for every time that I, you know, I don't even have that big of an audience online compared to a lot of these individuals who have hundreds of millions. You know, I'm in the millions range, but if I had a dollar for every time someone randomly just reached out to me on Instagram and said, hey, can you shout me out? I'd be a freaking millionaire because people that I don't even know just reach out to me and say, hey, I'm working on this thing and I would really like some help to getting the word out there. Like, do you understand how much that me, I have going on myself, let alone these people who have much bigger audiences? They have so many people pulling at them. There are some, some close friends of mine that I've known for years where I don't ask anything for, who are some of the most influential people in the world, in my opinion.

• 10:28Lewis Howes?

  The things they say, the people they're connected to, I don't ask them for anything because I know that they have a thousand people asking them for things every single day. All I try to do is give and be support and create a space for them to be themselves. And that's it. That's really the key. You can't ask for anything in return. If someone offers even, I, I typically say, I'm good right now. I just want to continue to give to you. You know, unless I really, really needed something and they said, hey, what can I do? Like you've just given me so much, how can I give back to you? Then maybe I'll, I'll say something, but ask for nothing in return.

• 11:03Lewis Howes?

  If you want to connect with influencers, thought leaders and decision makers to help you with your, your products, your services or promote you, you're going about it the wrong way. You need to ask for nothing, ask for nothing of these individuals. Start building friendships. But ask for nothing. Maybe in five years, maybe in 10 years, maybe in two years. Um, they will support you in some way that'll be uh, powerful for you, but you can't expect that and you should not expect that. All you should expect is to be able to say, hey, I just want to be uh, chill and be a friend of yours and be able to be of support. The law of reciprocity at some point will um, give back to you.

• 11:48Lewis Howes?

  Whether it's from that individual or someone else you meet from them or uh, just the law in general of reciprocity, it'll come back to you in other ways. And it may not be from that person, but you being a giving human being will always pay off. Now, listen, yes, you get to be discerning and not let people walk all over you and just keep completely take advantage of you all the time and relationships being one sided. I get it. You get to be discerning of that, but we're all thoughtful human beings here. And when we go into something and you think you're going to get something out of a relationship right away, you're going to rub that person the wrong way. And that's why I don't ask for certain things and I, and if I do ask for something,

• 12:33Lewis Howes?

  I give, give, give, give, give for as much as I can first, without asking for anything first. This is super crucial. This is friendship building. But influencers are again, getting asked daily for something from so many people. They're constantly getting asked and they feel taken advantage of if you ask them right away. But if you ask for nothing, then they feel taken care of and they feel respected more of who you are and not what you can give to someone. Okay? So again, the three Cs, chill, be curious and care. Again, there's no ask them to promote you in there.

• 13:17Lewis Howes?

  It's chill. Say something thoughtful in an email, say something that's supportive to them. Be curious, ask them questions about how they got to where they are. People love to share their story. People love to talk about their story, about the things they've overcome. Ask them questions. Don't ask for advice. And then number three, care, be of service. Give to something specific to the matters of their heart and then ask for nothing in return. Now here's uh, a, a simple way to email someone. If you're emailing someone of influence. From a blind email, here's an approach that I did early on. And again, it goes back to the three Cs of connection. But number one, first, research them.

• 14:01Lewis Howes?

  You know, on LinkedIn 10 years ago, I would do all this research about people I was connecting with first. Find out where they went to school. Find out how many people they're connected to that I know. Find out, you know, go to their website, research their bio. Learn about all their likes and interests. You know, you get to be a semi detective here. Spend some time watching video interviews, reading articles that they wrote. Do your research, that's first. If you, uh, there's nothing worse than when someone messages me and asks me a question randomly for something. And I'm like, huh, I just gave the answer to that like two weeks ago on my podcast. So it shows to me that they just saw my social media numbers or saw that I, you know,

• 14:44Lewis Howes?

  have a newer time bestselling book or a top podcast or something, but they don't actually listen. And they've never actually read the book. And they just saw this and reached out and said, hey, I love what you do. Can you help me here? What would you do in my situation if I was doing this? It kind of arrives me the wrong way because I'm like, you didn't take the time to go through and research. So why should I take the time to just give to you when 20 other people are emailing me the same day? Who are thoughtful in their email and who are thoughtful in their messages? And have done the research. Why should I just all of a sudden give all my time and attention to you? So again, research the person first. And the second thing is find, I like to find three points of connection.

• 15:28Lewis Howes?

  You know, I don't know why I, I don't know the science behind this or the data or the analytics behind this. This just works for me. I try to find three points of connection. So the first could be, you know, I did this back when I was using LinkedIn a lot 10 years ago. It'd be like, okay, where do they go to school? Where are they from? Um, that's one point. So if someone was from Ohio, then I would say, hey, I'm from Ohio as well. We've got, we've got a lot of pride. People from Ohio have a lot of pride and we kind of stick together. And so I would say, hey, I'm from Ohio as well. It's always good to connect with a fellow Ohio guy or Ohio girl.

• 16:05Lewis Howes?

  The second thing would be how, how many people do we know in common? How many people do we know in common? So I would go on LinkedIn and see how many mutual connections we have. I'd go to Facebook and see how many people we have in common because they show you that. I'd go to Twitter and see who they're following. I'd go to Instagram and see who they're following that I'm following. I'd find these mutual points of connection and say, you know, I know Jeff and Sally and Susan that you're connected with as well. And Jeff and I were just talking about you last week. So that's a second point of connection of other human beings. That builds more trust and credibility when a friend of theirs knows a friend of yours. There's more credibility.

• 16:48Lewis Howes?

  There's a closer connection to humanity, a closer connection to friendship, a closer connection to family. So again, find that could be the second point, the people you're connected to. And the third point could be another interest could be, you know, I would always look for if they played sports. There's something about the mentality of an athlete and the bond of brotherhood in the locker room from what you go through, the hard work, the discipline, the, the early morning lifts, the late night trainings, all these things. It's hard to break that type of experience and that connection. So I would find something about sports or you could find something about the school you went to. If you went to the same school or if it was in the same conference. Find some type of connection where the bond is strong.

• 17:32Lewis Howes?

  And so again, I try to find three points of connection where I'll just share that in the first sentence or two. You know, I saw that you're, I always love connecting with other people from Ohio. Um, I saw that you went to Capital University and I went there for a couple of seasons to play football. And I saw that you're connected to Jeff, Susan and Sally. And Jeff and I were just talking about you last week. Boom, that's your intro. After that, make it about what you can do for them. You know, go back to the three Cs, the chill, curiosity and care. You know, don't say something thoughtful again about what they've done, how they've impacted you or how they've impacted your industry or humanity. Ask a question about how they got to where they are in their life.

• 18:15Lewis Howes?

  Something thoughtful, something that's meaningful to them. And then Step three, care. Ask them what you can do for them. Say, hey, I'd love to connect with you to learn more how I can support your mission here. Or more how I can support you with your business, or more how I can support you with the biggest challenge you're facing right now. You know, these influencers and celebrities and CEOs, they face challenges and have pain points in their life as well. And they're always looking to get to another level. So if you can help solve their problems the fastest, whether it be through an introduction to someone that they're looking to hire, whether it be, you know, if you see something's off in their website, or they're not doing enough video, and you can help them solve that very easily and effectively,

• 19:00Lewis Howes?

  find something that you can do to support and give value to them. Again, things that you should not do. Do not ask for advice. Do not ask for any favors. Do not ask to pick their brain or to take five to 10 minutes to jump on the phone to ask them a few questions or to take them out to coffee. Do not ask also to work for free. I used to think that this was the way to go about it. You know, ask to work for free for a few months and things like that. Until I started getting people every week emailing me saying, hey, I want to work for you for free. It's actually almost more overwhelming. Because I'm like, well, what are your skills? What can you do? How can you add value to our team and to our mission? And they're just like, well, I'll do anything. I just want to learn.

• 19:46Lewis Howes?

  It's like, well, that's going to actually take more time away from me and my team if I'm going to have to, you know, walk around and show you how to do things for three months. I'm actually just teaching you, and you're learning a ton, and I'm taking away from me executing what I need to do. Whereas, I need an executor. Someone who can say, hey, listen, I see that you're not doing this on social media. Or I see that you're not doing this on list building. Or I see that your video could use work here. Or I see that I'm an expert on YouTube, and here are the 10 things that I could be doing every single week for the next three months for free, that I will implement, that you don't need to hold my hand or tell me to do anything. I will take action and do it all to take it off your plate. Now you're on to something. If you can say, hey, I want to do this for you.

• 20:31Lewis Howes?

  And here's the specific thing I can do that will get you these specific results. Now.

• 20:38Lewis Howes?

  You're piquing my curiosity and other people's curiosity. But when they have to, uh, you know, when you say, hey, I'll work for you for free. It's like, it's almost more of a stress because then you're just floating around, not sure what to do. Where they're looking for someone who can really take action and implement their vision. So again, don't ask for advice, don't ask for favor, don't ask to pick their brain and don't ask to work for free unless you have something specific you can help them solve that you are a master at. If you're just a, oh, I'll do whatever you need me to do. That's not helpful. That's more work for them to think about, well, what's all the things I need them to do? And are they credible? And do they have results? Et cetera, et cetera.

• 21:20Lewis Howes?

  So to recap this, you know, influencers, thought leaders, decision makers are important for a lot of these big brands, individuals, because all these individuals are looking for reach. They're looking for an audience. They're looking for, um, people who can talk about them, their brand, their product, their service. And give them credibility, uh, and help them build their business by building their sales force, by building their reach, by building their audience and things like that. That's really what it comes down to in connecting with influencers, thought leaders and decision makers. You know, you're looking for people who can maybe invest in your business. You're looking for people who can promote your business, your brand,

• 22:00Lewis Howes?

  uh, who can partner with you on certain things to help elevate the thing that you have going on. That's the key. But the approach should never be, how can I get them to do this for me right now? It should always be, how can I serve this person? And show them that I'm just inspired by who they are and care about who they are and really want to see their mission succeed. And maybe one day they'll be like, hey, how can I, how can I give back to you? And for, so for me, just so you guys understand how I do this, you know, I don't ask for anything unless it's like, I've got a book coming out and I say, hey, will you take a photo? And send it to me so I can post it on Instagram. I don't even ask them, will you post it on Instagram? I say, hey, will you just take a photo of it and send it to me? I'll promote you even more.

• 22:45Lewis Howes?

  And typically, you know, they just want to give back. And they'll post and share things as well. And and so it's all good. But I'm never really like asking for these things. I think when you build up such goodwill and such quality friendships with people where you're just giving and giving and giving. People want to give back. Good people want to give back to those that give to them. And if you just feel like you're taking advantage of constantly, then maybe that's not the relationships you want to continue to build, ones where you're getting taken advantage of. So focus on those individuals that really inspire you that are aligned to your mission that align to what you're up to. And think about how you can, one, be chill around them and say just thoughtful things and

• 23:29Lewis Howes?

  things that inspire you. You know, flattery goes a long way, but you don't have to be a fanboy or fangirl around these individuals either. You can be chill about it. Number two is being curious, you know, ask them questions about how they got to where they are, the things that are most meaningful to them, the things that bring them the most joy, ask them those types of questions. And then three, care. Be of service, give on something specific and find a way to tap into the things that connect to their hearts. That's what it's about. It's very simple. This is not challenging. Uh, you know, if you have no audience, if you have nothing to offer, it may be more challenging to get the attention of some of these individuals, and that's something to be mindful as well.

• 24:09Lewis Howes?

  You know, why would they, when they're getting reached out to thousands of people or emailing them or messaging them or tweeting them? Uh, why would they respond to someone that can't offer uh, a service? They've got limited time, limited resources. They've got people they're already trying to support on their team, their friends, their family, their own network. So you can't also expect that because you follow this process that all of a sudden everyone you reach out to is going to respond to you. No, you've got to have a skill, a talent, value to offer. And it can't just be, well, I'll work for free for this person for six months. That's not valuable enough unless you can get specific big results in a short amount of time.

• 24:53Lewis Howes?

  So if you have any questions about this, I'd love to hear your thoughts, your questions, or if there's any other ways that you've found powerful to connect with influencers, thought leaders, decision makers, send me a tweet at Lewis Howes, or better yet, I spend a lot more time over on Instagram at Lewis Howes. Send me a direct message or comment on a post and let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts of what's worked for you, and you can go to the show notes at lewishouse.com/577. We'll have a lot of these key points on there as well. Go there and leave a comment on the blog and let me know, again, what you've found to be helpful here, other things that you've done that have supported you

• 25:35Lewis Howes?

  in connecting with thought leaders. You know, another point to mention here is thoughtful, meaningful gifts. I'm not talking about swag and shipping people your products from your t-shirts with your brand on it. I'm talking about thoughtful, intentional gifts. You know, a guy named John Ruland has a book called Giftology, which talks about the power of gift giving to connect with people. And really thoughtful gifts that people want to keep in their home because they're so meaningful to them. You know, that's another approach is really reaching out to people through the power of a gift that connects to the heart. You know, John had a guy carve out this like beautiful mug that kind of tells

• 26:17Lewis Howes?

  a story of the school of greatness and speaks to my heart. And you know, I have coffee and turmeric, almond milk turmeric that I drink out of it and other things. Every couple of days, I see this mug and I think of him, right? I think of him and his thoughtfulness of creating this gift for me and thinking about me. So again, there's another approach is really, okay, how can you connect through a powerful gift, a custom pair of shoes? If someone loves a certain type of shoes, a powerful art piece that that really resonates to them, something that is of high value to that individual. It doesn't have to be super expensive, but something that's meaningful and valuable. Again, don't send your t-shirts or your hats that have your logo on it. That's not a gift.

• 27:03Lewis Howes?

  That they care about, not something that you care about. So again, share with me your thoughts. LewisHowes.com/577. All about how to connect with influencers, thought leaders, and decision makers. I hope you guys enjoyed this one and we've got a couple of other big episodes coming up before the end of the year. You guys are inspiring. I see your messages all the time over on Instagram and Twitter. Thank you for continually supporting the School of Greatness podcast. We have some massive things planned for next year and I'm so excited to start talking about them and start sharing them with you because

• 27:44Lewis Howes?

  it's all about you. It's all about how we can lift this community up, rise the standards to what is, what we're capable of as human beings, and continue to pursue and achieve our dreams. I love you so very much. And as always, you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.