5 Money Habits: What The Rich Use to Make More w/ Jen Sincero

Jen will be speaking at The Summit of Greatness this year! Don’t miss out! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.com – In the episode, Jen delves into key takeaways, including the profound influence of the words we speak on our reality. She highlights the concept of money as a dynamic form of energy and life force, shedding light on its deeper significance. Jen emphasizes the pivotal role of a resilient and empowered mindset as the cornerstone for leading an exceptional life. She underscores the importance of self-awareness in shaping thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs for personal and professional advancement. Jen Sincero is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, speaker and motivational cattle prod who’s helped countless people transform their personal and professional lives via her products, speaking engagements, newsletters, seminars and books. Her #1 New York Times bestseller, You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life (2013), has remained on the NY Times bestseller list for over five years, has sold over 5 million copies worldwide, is available in over 40 languages, and continues to grow in popularity around the globe. In this episode you will learn,To what extent words you speak have a profound impact on your reality. How money is a form of energy and life force. Why cultivating a resilient and empowered mindset is the foundation for leading an extraordinary life. Why developing a keen awareness of your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs is essential for personal and professional growth. Why desiring money is not the same as being greedy. For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1492For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960Want more School of Greatness episodes like this one? Bruce Lipton on Manifestation: https://link.chtbl.com/1312-podJoe Dispenza on the Law of Attraction: https://link.chtbl.com/1312-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection. I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Josprey Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sanchero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

• 0:44Lewis Howes?

  So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com/summit2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there.

• 1:01Jen Sincero?

  The number one question I get at my talks is, what do you do when the people closest to you don't support your growth? And the main reason they don't support it because you're killing off the person they love. I mean, think about that, like you're changing who you are and they're comfortable with who you are and they feel that's their reality too, is caught up in who you are being. So when you decide to change, you're killing off their buddy or their whatever and you're screwing up their reality because you fit into theirs.

• 1:31Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 1:55Lewis Howes?

  And I wanted to start with asking you a question about money and talking about money for a moment because because I feel like a lot of people are in fear around money right now. They're scared. They're uncertain of what's going to happen with all these things in the world around money and inflation and crisis and all these different things. I'm curious, with all of your research and all of your feedback from your audience with your book about money, what do you feel like is the number one thing that holds people back emotionally and mentally around believing that they are deserving of making the money they want?

• 2:32Jen Sincero?

  About the deserving piece? Oh, wow. Well, first of all, I think that a lot of people think it's not okay. Like, there's a real morality around making money.

• 2:45Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 2:45Jen Sincero?

  Because think about it, we really focus on greed. And when you desire money, it's not the same as being greedy. But I think that we combine those two things. And so, of course, if you decide that you want to make money, you don't tell people. I remember like when I was on my path to like, get rich, people were grossed out, you know?

• 3:06Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 3:07Jen Sincero?

  It's not, I mean, I always compare it to like, if I was like, I'm gonna lose 100 pounds, people were like, go you. But you're like, I'm gonna get rich. They're like, you're disgusting.

• 3:15Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 3:15Jen Sincero?

  You know, so there is a real judgment around it.

• 3:18Lewis Howes?

  Why is that? If someone's ambitious around making money and creating financial abundance for themselves, why is that?

• 3:24Jen Sincero?

  I think because there is an implied morality piece where you're gonna do things that are really bad for everybody involved. Like, you're gonna, money's the main goal, so you'll do anything to get rich. I think there is this really weird perception of that. And I do think that, you know, the news definitely focuses on all the evil that people do to make money. And so, you know, that you rarely hear about people giving lots of money your way or doing wonderful things with money. It really is about how evil the rich are.

• 3:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's more rare to hear. People are giving, but you don't hear about it, though.

• 3:59Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, not so much.

• 4:00Lewis Howes?

  And it's also, here's the interesting thing. Because we've also been taught to diminish our giving, like to not talk about our giving.

• 4:08Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  To make it anonymous. Don't brag that you're giving. Where I actually have started to prescribe to, maybe talk 50% of the time about what you're giving. And the other 50% of the time, it doesn't have to be, you know, you telling the world about it. But I think when you say, here's what I'm giving, it inspires other people to be generous and giving as well.

• 4:26Jen Sincero?

  Absolutely.

• 4:26Lewis Howes?

  And it doesn't have to be only money, but it can be your time, your energy, your resources in other way. But I think sharing about it sometimes empowers other people to be more generous as well.

• 4:36Jen Sincero?

  I agree. And it also takes away the stigma that you're an egomaniacal fat head and that you want like all the praise for being such a good guy. But, um, and why not? Like, we talk about other good things we do. It's this money, you know, I've written about sex, I've studied religion, money is by far the most loaded.

• 4:54Lewis Howes?

  The most loaded.

• 4:55Jen Sincero?

  Absolutely. It's the dirtiest topic.

• 4:57Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 4:58Jen Sincero?

  I don't know why. And I don't, I really don't, I don't. It's interesting though, like, did your parents talk to you about money? You know, I grew up.

• 5:05Lewis Howes?

  A little bit.

• 5:05Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 5:06Lewis Howes?

  A little bit, but, but there was stress around money.

• 5:09Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 5:09Lewis Howes?

  Which caused it to feel more unsettling. So there was some conversation, but mostly the conversation was stressful. Or their relationship wasn't peaceful.

• 5:18Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 5:19Lewis Howes?

  So I was like, okay, well, if they're not peaceful, but they're working really hard and money is tied to working hard, then something must be off.

• 5:26Jen Sincero?

  Exactly.

• 5:27Lewis Howes?

  And it wasn't a money issue, it was just an emotional healing issue.

• 5:30Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 5:31Lewis Howes?

  And that just happened to be mixed in with money.

• 5:33Jen Sincero?

  Yes. And so in your little brain, you put it attached to money makes stress. Yeah.

• 5:37Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. What was your perception of money before you started to make it versus when you started to make it?

• 5:44Jen Sincero?

  Well, I grew up in a super WASP-y household, so you know, we don't discuss money like it's, you know, dirty and uncouth.

• 5:51Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 5:52Jen Sincero?

  Um, never learned anything about it at all. Uh, and.

• 5:56Lewis Howes?

  No education around it?

• 5:57Jen Sincero?

  Oh, no. Oh my God, no. Like, nothing. And, um, and so when I, so I was very of the mind that it wasn't cool to want to make money. You know, the unholy dollar, like I was a rock and roller, so I was like more about the art and, um.

• 6:15Lewis Howes?

  And you're not gonna sell yourself out.

• 6:16Jen Sincero?

  Exactly. Selling out. Like, what a concept. Selling out basically means you're getting paid for doing what you love. Like, why is that so bad? Right? And then the whole starving artist crap and all that stuff. Yeah, and that rich people sucked and I was too cool to focus on money. I also believed I sucked at making it, which was the truth. I also had a weird feeling that like I was, it was almost like a different species. It's almost like me, there's me and then there's grownups, right? And I felt that way about money too. Like there's me and there's people who actually make like real money and have big houses and fancy cars and like do stuff like. But I was, I was like the child version of that, you know, always sitting at the kid table financially.

• 6:55Jen Sincero?

  And so it was a total identity shift that I had to go through where it was like that I could open myself up to like being somebody who could receive that kind of wealth. It was a real big shift for me.

• 7:07Lewis Howes?

  Do you think we have to go through an identity shift in order to see money differently? And to be able to receive it differently?

• 7:14Jen Sincero?

  I think you do, absolutely. It's a really great way to go at it.

• 7:17Lewis Howes?

  So what was your, you know, the key words around your identity with money? When you didn't have much versus the key words that you would speak about within yourself? Or what money is, once you started to unlock more money?

• 7:31Jen Sincero?

  Well, it wasn't necessarily around identity, my words, because I did have two very serious mantras. But there was a lot of visualizing myself with money. And like I, I wrote about buying the Audi and you are a bad and like, I'm not the kind of person who drives an Audi. Are you kidding me? Like, and like almost feeling like this, the guy who is like test drove it with me and be like, get out of here. I know who you are.

• 7:54Lewis Howes?

  You can't afford this.

• 7:55Jen Sincero?

  Exactly. So, um, so, but my mantra is really like, and before I started making money, I said, I can't afford it. Pretty much anything you could throw at me. My first words out of my mouth were, I can't afford it. And I.

• 8:08Lewis Howes?

  What are we doing when we're, we're saying that? Whether it's true or not true?

• 8:13Jen Sincero?

  We are buying into an identity as somebody who can't afford stuff. We are also proving it. You know, what you speak, you want to prove because you want to be right. And it is sort of the foundation of your reality. So when I say I can't afford it a hundred times a day, I'm subconsciously pulling in proof. Like, look at the car I'm driving. I'm living in an alley, like I make this much money a year. I'm I'm building all the foundational blocks to prove that I can't afford it. And that becomes my reality. And then that becomes my, I like to call it familiarity zone because comfort zones are not comfortable.

• 8:47Lewis Howes?

  Interesting.

• 8:47Jen Sincero?

  Right? So so then I'm just proving it over and over and over. And that becomes my reality. And then to shift out of that, um, literally means to obliterate your reality and your identity. Right? So that's why.

• 9:02Lewis Howes?

  It's like an explosion. It's like you have to have like a death and explosion, a bomb almost to go off.

• 9:08Jen Sincero?

  It does. And it's killing off your old identity. And this is why I'm going to totally go off on a segue here. But this is why, like, the number one question I get at my talks is, what do you do when the people closest to you don't support your growth? And the main reason they don't support it because because you're killing off the person they love.

• 9:24Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man.

• 9:26Jen Sincero?

  I mean, think about that, like, you're changing who you are, and they're comfortable with who you are. And they feel that's their reality, too, is is caught up in who you are being. So when you decide to change, you're killing off their buddy or their whatever. And you're screwing up their reality because you fit into theirs.

• 9:43Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:44Jen Sincero?

  So it's really a thing.

• 9:46Lewis Howes?

  It's so interesting. I was I was telling someone on my team this a few weeks ago, that in the different seasons of my life, from 18 until now, I have had all these amazing experiences from school to sports teams to moving to new cities, to finding new groups and communities. And a lot of them I've outgrown in certain ways or just transitioned out of. Maybe not outgrown, but just I've gone to do other things and continue to try to evolve. I'm not saying I'm better than, but I've continued to try to evolve and let go of the old me. And and some of them don't like it. And I lose friends in the process of changing myself, reinventing myself, letting go of old behaviors

• 10:31Lewis Howes?

  and stepping into a different, you know, identity. And it's not easy.

• 10:35Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 10:36Lewis Howes?

  To have communities that you love and people you are familiar with and hanging out with that support you. And you go to parties and do whatever activities and then all of a sudden they stop returning your calls.

• 10:45Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 10:46Lewis Howes?

  And they stop texting you back. And you feel sad, hurt, you know, disappointed.

• 10:52Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 10:53Lewis Howes?

  That you're trying to go somewhere and they don't support that. It's a scary time.

• 10:57Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, it is. It's very lonely. That's why it's lonely at the top.

• 11:00Lewis Howes?

  What what suggestions do you give to people then who are shifting their identity? Stepping into a new reality for themselves and their friends don't like it, their family doesn't like it, their communities don't like it, and they're telling them to, hey, come back and hang out with us. What's, what do you say to them?

• 11:16Jen Sincero?

  Well, first of all, really make the decision, are you gonna stay small and shrink just so that you can be around those people and make them comfortable? Or is your comfort more important and your growth more important? And also, it doesn't serve them either. Like, if you all stay at the same low level, because not everybody ditches you. There are some people that are just like, oh, my God, you inspire the crap out of me. I'm gonna do it too.

• 11:38Lewis Howes?

  It's true.

• 11:38Jen Sincero?

  Right? So focus, it's all where you place your focus, right? And then also focus on who you're gonna meet now that you're getting big.

• 11:46Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:46Jen Sincero?

  Right? Those exciting, inspiring people who are turned on by the same things you are, who are doing the same things you are. Like, it's all about where you put your focus.

• 11:54Lewis Howes?

  And you can only, I mean, I really only have maybe five to seven close friends that I can actually spend meaningful time with. Outside of my girlfriend, which I spend a lot of time with, outside of my team, which I'm spending time with during the day.

• 12:07Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 12:08Lewis Howes?

  There's only so many nights and weekends that I can spend quality time with people.

• 12:11Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 12:12Lewis Howes?

  And you may need to open up space to inviting people that are at a, I don't know, an awareness or a support or a level of thinking that you wanna be at as well.

• 12:22Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 12:23Lewis Howes?

  Um, to, to create that time and connection with. So it's, it's scary, though.

• 12:29Jen Sincero?

  If it's not scary, you're doing something wrong, though, right?

• 12:31Lewis Howes?

  That's true. So how old were you when, when things started to shift psychologically, mentally, and emotionally? And did you create a bomb? Was it more of a slow breakthrough for you in shifting this identity and this old skin?

• 12:46Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah, I was 40. It was in my 40s. Yeah, you know, I really struggled and suffered for way too long. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had a fun life. Like, I was going on road trips and I was in a band and I was doing all the things I wanna do. But financially, I was just...

• 13:03Jen Sincero?

  So stuck and stubborn in my thinking, you know? And so that's actually how I finally picked up a self-help book. Like I was, I mean, self-help was as ugly as making money was for me. I was very scared I'd die and they'd find him in my house because I was too cool. And, uh, and that's when I was just like, I have got to do something. And, um, that's when I started reading them when I was sort of end of my thirties, beginning of my forties. But it was in my forties that I hired my first life coach. And went totally into debt for it, like put it on my credit card, called her and begged her for the money back. And luckily she was a great coach. She's like, that could be the most important money you ever spend.

• 13:41Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 13:41Jen Sincero?

  And then I was like, front row, doing every single, single thing she said. And luckily she was an excellent coach and I tripled my income in like three months and.

• 13:49Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 13:50Jen Sincero?

  And then once things, once I saw myself do that, then I was like, okay, this works, this works. And then I was just a straight A student, just doing all the things.

• 13:58Lewis Howes?

  Just kept showing up.

• 13:59Jen Sincero?

  Oh, I kept doubling my rates and kept cold calling and doing all this stuff that I was just like, but, but it was so cool at the same time. Like it was so fun because one of the things about being stuck is that life force that's going through all of us, right? Like it was about the money, but it wasn't about, it was about the money. Money is great. I don't want to, you know, I love having money. It's so, it's just freedom and options, right? Money is just freedom and options and who does not want that all day long? But also it was about the life force that, that I knew I could be doing better. And there was just so much Jenson Cero that wanted to like go shine, basically, right? And, and I was blocking it off. I could just feel it.

• 14:42Jen Sincero?

  So it was just this clogging and this like frustration that once I hired the coach, like I was, I was in the game and I was, I was playing and I was taking risks and I was doing stuff I'd never done before. And it was so exciting. It was so alive, you know? It's a life force. Money is currency and currency is energy and that energy is a life force.

• 15:05Lewis Howes?

  And when you were feeling stuck financially and around money, was it more of a thinking or a feeling in your body and an emotional connection to it? Or was it both?

• 15:16Jen Sincero?

  Both, definitely both.

• 15:17Lewis Howes?

  What was the thought and what was the feeling tied to it?

• 15:20Jen Sincero?

  The thought was, I am never gonna get out of this. I'm 40, I'm living in a garage in an alley. I've never been able to make money. It's just not something I personally can ever do. And then more subconsciously, you know, lots of things subconsciously, but you know, it's not okay to do it. I discovered that I had a really, the biggest block for me was, if I get really rich, I will, my father, who wasn't able to show love very comfortably, would always give me a 20 or...

• 15:54Lewis Howes?

  That was his way of...

• 15:55Jen Sincero?

  Yep, and I was like, if I get rich, I don't need dad anymore. And it's like putting a knife in his heart.

• 15:59Lewis Howes?

  Oh my goodness.

• 16:00Jen Sincero?

  That one blew everything open for me when I realized that. And, um, and so, yeah, so those were the things. But it was really hopelessness, just like frustration and hopelessness, like, how am I ever gonna get out of this? And then, and then I guess, you know, the feeling was hopelessness, despair, sadness, anger, frustration.

• 16:21Lewis Howes?

  Resentment.

• 16:22Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, resentment, yeah, everything.

• 16:24Lewis Howes?

  Now, did you resent people with money back then? Was it like, oh, you know, screw them, they're entitled, they have this?

• 16:31Jen Sincero?

  Anybody who talked about it, I was really resentful of. I was like, shut up.

• 16:34Lewis Howes?

  Don't talk about money around here.

• 16:35Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:37Lewis Howes?

  And what happens if we don't speak about money in a healthy way?

• 16:41Jen Sincero?

  We perpetuate it as being the big boogeyman. Yeah, and, and I think anything that's hush hush has, you know, and I do, I relate it to sex all the time. Like, we're all supposed to be really good at sex, but you're never allowed to talk about it, and you certainly don't learn about it, you know? So it's like this weird, mysterious, dirty thing. It really is. I mean, it's dirty. Money is dirty. You know, don't want your dirty money, like... You know what I mean?

• 17:08Lewis Howes?

  And it's dirty until you don't make it dirty, right?

• 17:10Jen Sincero?

  Exactly.

• 17:11Lewis Howes?

  Until you change it.

• 17:11Jen Sincero?

  Exactly. So just by like airing it out and talking about it and being joyful about it and talking about what you do with it joyfully and sharing it and making it and being happy that you made it and not, you know, it's so not a big deal. And it's like, we all need it. You know, it's so funny. I always think like, you know, if I told the average person like, I'm gonna give you 10,000 bucks, they'd be like, sweet. And then, you know, but talking about like, how do you feel about rich people? How do you feel about people who make tons and tons of money? And the disparity, you know, the difference between that, like you want it, but there's still dirtiness around it, which is why I put in two of my books to write that letter to money, because it's a really interesting exercise.

• 17:51Lewis Howes?

  You wrote like a love letter to money?

• 17:52Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, you just write a letter to money as if it's a person almost. So it's like, I love you. I wish I had more of you, but I don't trust you and I feel like a dirty for even saying that. And, you know, all, so all the, all the things. And then you can see what you got going on.

• 18:06Lewis Howes?

  This is a topic that I've been fascinated about for decades because I didn't have money at one point. Also, I was living on my sister's couch for a year and a half.

• 18:16Lewis Howes?

  I couldn't pay for the rent. I didn't buy food. I was just like living off of her for a year and a half while I was recovering from a surgery. A wrist that I broke playing football. And I was afraid of it. My father also got into a pretty bad car accident a year prior to me getting injured where he was kind of that like lifeline for me where he'd give me a hundred bucks when I needed it and paid for things and just said, hey, you know, go live your dreams. And when you're done, we'll, we'll figure out what you're gonna do with the job.

• 18:44Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 18:45Lewis Howes?

  He got in a car accident. He had extreme head trauma, was in a coma for three months.

• 18:49Jen Sincero?

  My god.

• 18:50Lewis Howes?

  Ended up surviving, but wasn't able to work anymore. So he was physically alive, emotionally and mentally kind of not here.

• 18:57Jen Sincero?

  Wow.

• 18:58Lewis Howes?

  So he, he passed a year ago, but it was 17 years of him struggling, right, to try to recover. So I had this, you know, father backup to support me financially in a sense. I mean, just give me a 20 or a hundred bucks here and there. And he was no longer able to do that.

• 19:17Jen Sincero?

  Wow.

• 19:18Lewis Howes?

  So I remember being fascinated by this conversation 20 years ago, because I was like, I don't understand it. I don't know how to make it. Um, I don't know why anyone would give me money. You know, where does my value come from? Like, how am I gonna ask someone for money? When I don't even know what skills or values I have.

• 19:35Jen Sincero?

  Right, right, right.

• 19:37Lewis Howes?

  And early on, I started to learn from these mentors and coaches teaching me about money. And one of them was around the way we speak about money. Because if we are essentially saying this is bad and evil, or I'm not good enough for this, then why would that thing come to us if we think it's bad and evil? We're gonna be rejecting it, or we don't think we're deserving of it. Why would we receive it? Why would we bring it into us?

• 20:03Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 20:03Lewis Howes?

  And so I had to really shift this conversation, you know, 20 years ago around money. And do what you talk about, which is just having more open conversations. Not talking about it like it's this hush, hush thing, but just being more open and conversational and not being so emotionally heightened.

• 20:19Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 20:20Lewis Howes?

  When you talk about it. And learn from a peaceful place of talking about it. So I love that you have this write a letter to money.

• 20:27Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 20:28Lewis Howes?

  And really, I tell people, like, if you want your money to appreciate, you must appreciate.

• 20:34Jen Sincero?

  Exactly.

• 20:35Lewis Howes?

  And treat it like you're the greatest lover of your life.

• 20:39Jen Sincero?

  Right, yes.

• 20:40Lewis Howes?

  Treat it like if you want your partner to be investing in you and to be giving you words of affirmation and a physical touch and like gifts, if you want all these love languages, then you've got to pour into it, appreciate the partner you're with.

• 20:54Jen Sincero?

  Absolutely.

• 20:54Lewis Howes?

  Tell them how grateful you are every day. Tell them what you love about them, what you see in them. And when you appreciate a person, like you said, or if you appreciate money, it can appreciate in value and come to you in return.

• 21:07Jen Sincero?

  Absolutely. It's energy and it really, that like, money is currency and currency is energy. Like, like, I had to hear it like 6,000 times before I really got that money is energy. It's a frequency. So when you raise your frequency and get into alignment with it, and that whole alignment thing is all about, none of the limiting beliefs, just, just being in surrender.

• 21:31Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 21:32Jen Sincero?

  And in alignment and having it flow in. So at the beginning, you asked me what my mom, you know, what my words were. So at first it was, I can't afford it. And then I eventually went to money flows to me easily and freely. And this is still while I was living in the garage, still while I was, you know, so in debt. But I had started doing all the energy work around it and I was like, alright, what are my blocks? Like when you write a new mantra, it's all about like really like the letter to money, like what just kept coming up and that I was stuck and that it was hard and that I didn't know what I was doing. So there was like hard and stuck and confusion. So flowing easily and freely was just like, yeah, even though I did not believe it at first,

• 22:16Jen Sincero?

  like it wasn't about believing it. It was about the feeling because we are emotional creatures and you know, that emotion, the frequency of emotions was, you know, the flowing, the easily and freely flowing was really, really powerful for me.

• 22:28Lewis Howes?

  So now, when you write a statement or a mantra that you're wanting to step into, but you don't believe it yet, is that lying to yourself? Or how do we overcome this thing that, okay, this is what I want and this is what I'm stepping into and the feelings I want to experience, but I don't have it yet. I don't, I don't, and that's not actually true yet.

• 22:47Jen Sincero?

  Okay, I'm just gonna say if you are not successful at what you want to be successful for and you're feeling stuck, you're already lying to yourself because you're buying into the identity that is not in the flow. So that's the lie. So money flowing to me easily and freely because I live in an abundant universe and I'm a creature who receives, that is the truth. So even though the identity that I'm in is not believing it yet, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm feeling it. So I always tell people, like, you don't have to believe it at first, like, but you have to feel it. So that's why what the words make you feel like are the most important part about it. So ease and free and flow was the most important part of that.

• 23:33Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like, okay, you said you were around 40 years young when this kind of happened. Was there something in your life that was like, I'm just sick and tired of feeling this way after two decades? Or like, I just want to see what's possible for me in this next decade? Or was there something around that time that made you say, alright, this hasn't worked for 40 years of my life.

• 23:52Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 23:53Lewis Howes?

  Now I'm gonna try something different.

• 23:54Jen Sincero?

  You know, I think it was, there really wasn't like, I didn't almost get hit by a bus or, you know, I just, I, first of all, it's so boring being broke. Like, you can't do anything, right? Really, you can't do anything. So.

• 24:10Jen Sincero?

  And I think it was just sort of a, it's almost like I ripened, you know? It's almost like, how many times do you hear something before it's the aha moment? You know, why does that suddenly happen? I think you just finally are in a place where you can hear it for some reason. So I had started reading the self-help books and I was really into it. And, you know, I made a bunch of half attempts at like getting my act together. But I think it was just, I think I just ripened and then I made the decision. Like, I think really living in, and it was like a one-car garage. Like, it was small. And I think after a little while of that, I was like,

• 24:44Lewis Howes?

  I'm sick and tired of this.

• 24:45Jen Sincero?

  Oh, on, I am 40 years old, you know? I can do better than this.

• 24:50Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 24:50Jen Sincero?

  And so I think I was just so sick of myself, so.

• 24:54Lewis Howes?

  My friend Dean Graziosi says, "We pay attention to what we pay for." Do you think you making this investment in a coach made you pay attention more to, "Okay, now I gotta make my money back and I wanna make more than my money back. So I'm gonna focus, I'm gonna do all the painful things that she tells me to do, and I'm gonna be the best student I can be." Is that what your thought was because you invested?

• 25:19Jen Sincero?

  Definitely. And I will say though, is I've had clients pay me lots of money and not do a damn thing. So it's not a guarantee. So that is part of it for sure, because I've also given like free coaching sessions to my friends. And it's like the biggest waste of all of our time, right? But, um, so I do think that the exchange of money is very, very real. But I think more importantly, your attitude and the decision.

• 25:42Lewis Howes?

  It's deciding.

• 25:43Jen Sincero?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:44Lewis Howes?

  Because you can decide to invest, but you're still not committed to taking the action and doing whatever it takes.

• 25:48Jen Sincero?

  Absolutely, and I've gotten, been given things for free, especially at that time in my life. Like, anything I could get my hands on, I was a straight A student. So the money did have something to do with it, but I was ready.

• 25:57Lewis Howes?

  But you were also committed in free pay, whatever.

• 26:00Jen Sincero?

  I was so ready, no, I was.

• 26:01Lewis Howes?

  You were all in.

• 26:02Jen Sincero?

  Oh, my God, yeah.

• 26:02Lewis Howes?

  And before, you weren't committed.

• 26:04Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 26:05Lewis Howes?

  Because you had the emotional blocks that were just half.

• 26:07Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, and so I do think it was that sort of, it's sort of like the water hitting the rock. And then it's the Grand Canyon, you know? Like, reading the self-help books, like, I did, I had started that a couple of years before the garage. So I was sort of priming myself and then finally I was just like, I'll do anything like hit me, yeah.

• 26:24Lewis Howes?

  What was the book that really inspired you the most?

• 26:27Jen Sincero?

  The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Waddles.

• 26:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's a good one.

• 26:30Jen Sincero?

  I mean, not only because it's like this big because I'm super impatient, but I mean, it's super cryptic. It's like, it's all about the universe being a thinking stuff. And when you impress your thoughts into the thinking stuff, it becomes real and material world. And I just, I just, it really, really, really spoke to me. I've read it hundreds of times.

• 26:49Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 26:49Jen Sincero?

  Yes. Yeah.

• 26:51Lewis Howes?

  What was the biggest takeaway from that book?

• 26:53Jen Sincero?

  Oh, so happy you asked because I'm talking about this line all the time is to think what you want to think is to think the truth regardless of appearances. So this is everything, right? So mindset is everything. So regardless of appearances, regardless of the fact that I'm living in a garage in an LA, driving a car with no grill, like those are the appearances. But to think what you want, and I think the want is so key too, because that's your, that's your authenticity. That's not like thinking what other people think you should do and how you should live your life. To think what you want, the purpose that you were put on planet earth to live out, that's the truth. That is the truth. So your desires are the truth, not what's physically around you.

• 27:38Lewis Howes?

  Wow. So how do we know that we are in harmony and congruency with our desires? That it's for something not just selfish and self-serving by itself or ego-driven, but more, I don't know, driven by something greater, you know? Because if someone says, well, I want to make a lot of money, or I want to make a hundred thousand dollars in a year, or 500,000, or whatever it is, or millions. How do we line up our desires with our authentic selves so that we don't hurt ourselves in the process of making money? Or it become overwhelming, daunting, or draining?

• 28:15Jen Sincero?

  I think you always come back to, is it fun?

• 28:21Jen Sincero?

  Does it give me energy or deplete my energy? And does it have meaning? Those are the three things that I'm really living my life by these days. And I think that if you're in alignment with those three things, and other things certainly, but those are sort of my big three.

• 28:38Lewis Howes?

  Is it fun? Does it give me energy? And does it give me meaning?

• 28:40Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, and is it meaningful? Yeah.

• 28:42Lewis Howes?

  Is it meaningful?

• 28:42Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 28:43Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 28:44Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 28:44Lewis Howes?

  And where were you at 39? Doing things that weren't fun? That drained your energy and didn't give you meaning?

• 28:50Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I was a freelance writer hustling my butt off. And then like when I really did the math, I was like, the amount of time I spent hustling for this gig, and they don't pay that well, like magazine articles, come on. I was making like, I was probably losing money, quite frankly.

• 29:06Jen Sincero?

  So, um, yeah, no, there was, there was none of that. It was not fun. It was exhausting. It had some meaning, but you gotta get all three, you know? Yeah.

• 29:15Lewis Howes?

  Or at least start working towards it. Cause you may not be able to at this season, but you gotta focus on, can I, can I get one?

• 29:21Jen Sincero?

  Can I get one? And is it leading in the direction of something that is fun? That is gonna give me energy and has meaning? Cause you're right, like when you're building a company or when you're doing something like, it is exhausting. And, but if it's still exciting and fun and has meaning, then yeah, yeah, it doesn't get to be a picnic all the time.

• 29:37Lewis Howes?

  When was the biggest aha moment for you then? Like, was it after you made a certain amount of money? Or a client paid you something? Or was it just a feeling you had? Like releasing all of it in the process of working? Like, when was that moment where you're like, I'm actually emotionally and mentally free around the idea of money?

• 29:56Jen Sincero?

  Oh, interesting.

• 29:59Lewis Howes?

  Maybe I'm not abundant of money.

• 30:01Jen Sincero?

  I will tell you, no, I actually did. And I did put it in You Are a Badass. I put it in one of them. It was when I, I had, oh my God, it was such a cool moment. So. Because money is currency and currency is energy, right? So we're really gonna get woo woo with the money.

• 30:16Lewis Howes?

  I like it.

• 30:16Jen Sincero?

  Really shifting the mindset around money. And I, and bring me back to my story if I go off on a tangent because I'm about to go off on a tangent. I want to remember, but I.

• 30:27Lewis Howes?

  Money is currency and currency is energy.

• 30:29Jen Sincero?

  Yes, money is currency, currency is energy. And I've had so many clients that have told me, and it's happened to me too, where they manifest when they get into the meditation and they start to raise their frequency.

• 30:38Lewis Howes?

  Yes.

• 30:39Jen Sincero?

  And they focus on the amount, the exact amount comes in from outer space that you didn't even think of. And so my story is around that where I was working with my coach and we were really gonna shift my money reality. And so she's like, you know, what amount of money would be really great for you to make right now? Like what would have a lot of meaning? And I was like $10,000 because I'm $10,000 in debt on my credit card and I hate being in debt. She's like, perfect. And so she's like, okay, so how soon are you gonna make it? And she goes, you know, like about a week, two weeks. Because I, you know, and I was at the time making like 30 grand a year. I was like, my God, if I made 10,000 in a week, that would be incredible. And I was like, but you know what? I gotta do it in two days because I know myself and I won't keep myself in that frequency. Like I'll lose steam and I'll decide that like, nah, it's not, I can't do it or whatever.

• 31:24Jen Sincero?

  Like I knew that the stuff would start creeping back in. So I was like, all right, 10 grand in two days. She's like, great, okay, so how are you gonna do it? And at the time I had this little online coaching business that I had just started coaching writers. And I was like, I'll get three private clients, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then we're, you know, putting all the pieces in place. And then she's like, okay, and is there anything else? And I was like, well, you know, there was this guy that I was coaching years ago. He was my first private client. I was charging him like 50 bucks an hour. And I was like, I could also call him and see if he wants to work with me again. And she's like, okay, great. And we're still on the phone and I checked my email and he has written me. I have not thought of this matter, communicated with him in years. Email, he's like. You know, are you still coaching? Can you help me?

• 32:09Jen Sincero?

  When can we start?

• 32:10Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 32:11Jen Sincero?

  And so she's like, okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna put together a $10,000 package for him and you're gonna sell it to him right now.

• 32:17Lewis Howes?

  Holy cow.

• 32:18Jen Sincero?

  I know, and I was like, $10,000. I was charging him 50 bucks an hour. I was, and I really adore him. He's such a special person. And I was like, felt like, you know, a greedy pig. Blah, blah, blah, all the things. Fraud complex, gigantic.

• 32:33Lewis Howes?

  Imposter syndrome.

• 32:34Jen Sincero?

  Oh, beyond, beyond. And so she's like, and what we'll do is we'll put together $15,000 package and a 10 so that the 10 looks cheap. And I was like, I can't do 15. She's like, all right, 12. Pain in my ass. So did a 12, sent it to him and literally wanted to throw up. I was just like, if he, I, cause I really cared about this guy. He bought the 12.

• 32:54Lewis Howes?

  Holy cow.

• 32:54Jen Sincero?

  I know.

• 32:57Lewis Howes?

  You're like, it should have been a 15.

• 32:58Jen Sincero?

  I know, exactly. I know.

• 33:00Lewis Howes?

  Well, here's the thing, you know, it's not like you were charging him 12,000 an hour. Obviously you created a position and a packaging of services that would over deliver, that would serve him a big way.

• 33:10Jen Sincero?

  I worked with him for five years after that.

• 33:11Lewis Howes?

  Exactly.

• 33:12Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:13Lewis Howes?

  So it's not like, I'm just gonna charge some number and then give very little.

• 33:17Jen Sincero?

  Oh, no.

• 33:17Lewis Howes?

  You made sure that the value was there.

• 33:19Jen Sincero?

  Totally.

• 33:20Lewis Howes?

  How did you learn to package and position your value to be able to charge for what you wanted?

• 33:24Jen Sincero?

  My coach helped me put it all together, but then I had to rise to that frequency. And I'll tell you, you know, when you're charging something that scares out of you, you show up with your A plus game like, and he did too. Like it was a lot for him too. We knocked it out of the park.

• 33:37Lewis Howes?

  Cause you pay attention to what you pay for.

• 33:38Jen Sincero?

  Yes, yes, yeah, totally.

• 33:40Lewis Howes?

  You'll rise to the occasion, like, I gotta focus.

• 33:42Jen Sincero?

  Yes, yeah.

• 33:43Lewis Howes?

  I gotta show up on time. I gotta deliver the results on time.

• 33:46Jen Sincero?

  Absolutely.

• 33:46Lewis Howes?

  Give my best here.

• 33:48Jen Sincero?

  Yep.

• 33:48Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. So now here's, I'm curious about the next thing. Was that everything to the story first off? I'll make sure I get it.

• 33:55Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:56Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Money is currency and currency is energy. I'm curious about the next thing. So once this happened and you sold a $12,000 package and you were like, this is crazy and this is more money than I've ever made in my life, essentially, in two days. Did you fall back at any point? Or did you stay focused?

• 34:13Jen Sincero?

  Oh, interesting.

• 34:15Lewis Howes?

  Cause sometimes people get an opportunity. And they decided and then, well, I tried it again and it didn't work. So maybe this is a fluke, maybe this is a one time and

• 34:24Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 34:25Lewis Howes?

  The thermometer goes back down to what they're comfortable and familiar with.

• 34:28Jen Sincero?

  Very common, very common. I did not, but only because I continued to get coaching. And I got bigger and bigger and bigger packages. I mean, I was paying six figures by the end.

• 34:38Lewis Howes?

  Hundred grand for like a year of coaching or? Wow.

• 34:41Jen Sincero?

  So I just, because I knew myself, I was like, I am rickety in this whole sort of wealth consciousness department. So I knew that I had, it's like getting a personal trainer, right? So I just kept investing in the coaching and now, now I'm good, but I do still have to work at it. I mean,

• 34:57Lewis Howes?

  It's different levels.

• 34:57Jen Sincero?

  It's different levels, you know?

• 34:58Lewis Howes?

  You feel comfortable at this level, but if you want to break through.

• 35:01Jen Sincero?

  Exactly.

• 35:02Lewis Howes?

  And do something you've never done, it means you've got to have a different frequency still, right?

• 35:05Jen Sincero?

  Exactly. You got, you know, yep, there's always more growth to be had.

• 35:09Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like you're kind of at like a block right now? Because again, you've sold, you know, I don't know, five or 10 million copies of your books. You've got coaching program, you've got all these course, like success, financial freedom, all these different things. But is there like a level you've reached that you feel like, okay, well, can I break through? This is so much now and I feel abundant, but could you break through?

• 35:31Jen Sincero?

  If I want, if I could decide what I want the next thing to be yet, I'm still in that sort of incubation period of like, what would be fun, give me energy and have meaning. I'm getting there. Like I definitely feel like I'm getting there and I'm doing a lot of things that meet those requirements in the meantime, but it's not the big.

• 35:48Lewis Howes?

  What's your biggest, what's your biggest fear or insecurity around money right now?

• 35:52Jen Sincero?

  That I don't know what to do with it when I make it. Like I'm good at making it. My bookkeeper called me one day and she's like, would you please just open a savings account at your bank? Cause I had like a million dollars in my checking account. This was a while ago. I finally got my, so I hired financial plan, like I've hired people who are grownups who know what they're doing with money. But like, I'm teaching myself about it, but I find it boring. I find investing boring and confusing and out of my league. So luckily there are amazing people who know what they're doing. So I have finally gotten that team together.

• 36:24Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha.

• 36:26Jen Sincero?

  And there is a little tiny part of me, if I gave it any attention, that is a little scared it's all gonna go away.

• 36:33Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 36:33Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, but I don't, I'm not, it's not that bad and I probably should not even speak it out loud.

• 36:37Lewis Howes?

  Right, right, right.

• 36:37Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 36:38Lewis Howes?

  Well, you're being, you're being honest about it. I think. There's one thing about speaking it out loud so it doesn't happen, but another thing about saying it so it doesn't have power over you.

• 36:45Jen Sincero?

  Right, oh, yeah, okay.

• 36:46Lewis Howes?

  You know, it's like, if you're afraid of it, like you're afraid to have the conversation around money.

• 36:51Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 36:51Lewis Howes?

  I'm all believer, like, don't speak into something into this, as you don't want that to happen, but I think, you know, when I started talking about my fears, my shame and my insecurity, it actually felt like the poison was coming out of me. And now I could see it outside of me, or I could have a conversation with it as opposed to it being in me and afraid to talk about.

• 37:11Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 37:11Lewis Howes?

  And then I could get coaching about it.

• 37:13Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 37:14Lewis Howes?

  And then I could, okay, let me create a game plan. Okay, well, I'm afraid of it, but now I have a coach to help me, you know, invest it the right way and whatever I need to do.

• 37:22Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 37:23Lewis Howes?

  You know, so.

• 37:24Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 37:24Lewis Howes?

  As opposed to ignoring it and just, I hope I don't lose it, but I don't want to speak about it.

• 37:28Jen Sincero?

  Right. That's a good point. That is a good point. Okay, I'll tell you another one.

• 37:33Lewis Howes?

  What's the other one?

• 37:33Jen Sincero?

  We're airing out my training. The other one is that I'm gonna make too much of it and I won't, and it is, it's kind of like the same as the first one, but I won't know what to do with it. Like, I'm scared of it coming in too fast and too much because it's gonna bury me alive almost. Yeah, I know, I know. And so this is why, so I.

• 37:52Lewis Howes?

  Bury me alive.

• 37:53Jen Sincero?

  Kind of, yes.

• 37:55Lewis Howes?

  Why would it bury, why would money bury you alive?

• 37:58Jen Sincero?

  Just tell a deal what I.

• 37:59Lewis Howes?

  Well, this is the interesting thing, Jen. I think it's powerful that you're talking about this because there's different levels of insecurities or fears at the stages of money we make. And when I was broke on my sister's couch, I had a lot of fear and insecurity, uncertainty of the future. And then I remember one day I made sixty-two hundred dollars in an hour doing like a live webinar, selling a program. This is in two thousand nine.

• 38:21Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 38:21Lewis Howes?

  Before there was like courses and webinars, all this stuff.

• 38:23Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 38:23Lewis Howes?

  And I go, I'm the richest man in the world with sixty-two hundred dollars. Now, I had to split that with the person who promoted this, this training for me, but I still felt like thirty-one hundred dollars in an hour. I go, I could do this every day for the rest of my life, right? Because I was sleeping on my sister's couch.

• 38:38Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 38:40Lewis Howes?

  But there was still, I'd never made six figures. And so there was still a challenge, like, how do I do this? And how do I manage it? And I understand it. And now taxes, what? All my money's gone. I just made money. I have zero again, and this fear of like, this tax thing. And then you get to the next level, the next level, and next level. And I just think there's different challenges or things we get to overcome at every level of money as well.

• 39:02Jen Sincero?

  Sure, yes. New level, new devil, right? Yeah.

• 39:07Lewis Howes?

  So one of the fears is, will the money bury me alive?

• 39:10Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 39:11Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think that is?

• 39:13Jen Sincero?

  Gosh, why do I think that is? I think it's my insecurity about not knowing what to do with it. When I had, when I had very little of it, I could manage it, right? That was easy. And then as I started getting more and more, and so I do have pieces in place, but I've opened, I've hired a new financial team. So I can make, like, build the nest and it will come. Cause I was like, if I don't take care of this, I will literally block it. I will energetically block it if I'm scared of it coming in and think it's gonna bury me alive. Like, that is not a abundant mindset, you know?

• 39:44Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 39:44Jen Sincero?

  So, yeah, so I, I just created the nest, so now, bring it on, universe.

• 39:49Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. So now you can, you have, you have a foundation for it to come in.

• 39:53Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah, so it's not scary anymore. Cause I know where it's gonna go. Yeah, but I realized that, I was just like, wow, I am kind of scared of it coming in too much. I know, it's interesting, isn't it? Yeah?

• 40:05Lewis Howes?

  I think it's fascinating. I think we all get to experience at different levels how to break through. Otherwise, wouldn't it be interesting if it was just, I don't know, if there's no obstacle, if I like, you know?

• 40:15Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 40:15Lewis Howes?

  What do you think are the key things that abundant mindset people around money do differently than scarcity mindset people around money? If you had to say three or five kind of key things?

• 40:29Jen Sincero?

  They...

• 40:33Jen Sincero?

  Appreciate it, as you said, that is a biggie. They appreciate it and they speak about it. As they love it, they're not weird about it. They're also generous with it because when you pinch yourself off from giving, you, that is sort of a subconscious way of saying there's not enough to go around and it's not gonna, I'm not in the flow. So when you don't give generously, it's because you're scared that it's not gonna come in anymore. They take risks, you know, you gotta take risks. You are where you are because you've been doing what you've been doing. So if you want to change your life, you've got to do stuff you've never done.

• 41:07Jen Sincero?

  What else? Well, the people, they learn about money. Like you, you focus on money. Like that was such a big thing for me too. Like when I was broke, I, I never wanted to think about money, right? I was all about writing songs and, you know, doing much, you know, more noble things.

• 41:22Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 41:22Jen Sincero?

  But then, but when you're broke, all you think about is money. Like I don't really think about money that much now that I have it like, but every single decision you make when you're broke is about.

• 41:30Lewis Howes?

  So I have enough to pay for this.

• 41:31Jen Sincero?

  Exactly.

• 41:31Lewis Howes?

  Can I afford it? What happens if I don't?

• 41:33Jen Sincero?

  Right, you wake up in the first thing in the morning in a panic because you gotta pay your bills. So you're always thinking about money. So it is really just sort of getting in the flow with that and just, you know, being on good terms with it and focusing on it. And, and you know, how are you gonna make it? Like being realistic about your income streams and you know, and if you want to make it, you've gotta coax it in, you know?

• 41:56Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 41:57Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 41:57Lewis Howes?

  I'm curious about this. Okay, you, you're a starving artist. You wanted to do noble things, which about art and making art and all these different things. What would have happened if someone would've said, Jen, you know what? I love that you're an artist. I love that you have this, you know, passion for art and you want to keep doing this. And this is where you've been for 40 years and we don't want you to change. Here's a hundred grand a year for the rest of your life.

• 42:26Lewis Howes?

  Don't worry about money up to a hundred grand. What would that have done to you if someone would have given you a hundred grand a year? And you would have just been like, okay, I'm gonna write and do whatever I want. And how do you think it would have been mentally, emotionally, spiritually versus you having to risk emotionally and mentally?

• 42:43Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 42:43Lewis Howes?

  You getting to heal, let go, overcome.

• 42:47Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 42:47Lewis Howes?

  Challenge yourself into asking for money and to becoming something greater than that limiting belief. What do you think, where do you think you'd be now?

• 42:56Jen Sincero?

  Probably would have spent it on beer, honestly, back in those days. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I wasn't, you, you're absolutely right. It's an, it's an, it's a frequency. You know, it's like, it's like, uh,

• 43:08Jen Sincero?

  I don't know. I mean, I always, I always had,

• 43:13Jen Sincero?

  I guess, I'm gonna say gall, that's not the right word, but I did, I did do a lot of stuff that was pretty edgy. And I, I pushed the envelope a lot. So I may have gotten there, but I don't think it would have been as exciting as it was to do it myself. You know, there really is, you do grow. And they, they say, you know, starting your own business is the best personal development course you can possibly take. Cause all your stuff comes up, right?

• 43:38Lewis Howes?

  All of it.

• 43:39Jen Sincero?

  So.

• 43:39Lewis Howes?

  Leadership training, it's leadership training, it's inner child training, everything.

• 43:43Jen Sincero?

  Everything, totally.

• 43:44Lewis Howes?

  Pushed.

• 43:45Jen Sincero?

  Totally, so, so it wouldn't have been as satisfying, I don't think. I think I still would have done it though, cause that is kind of my personality. When I'm ready to change, I'm ready to change and I do it.

• 43:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 43:55Jen Sincero?

  So, but I think it wouldn't have been as glorious and I'm definitely, I probably wouldn't have written you a rap. Which totally changed my entire life, so.

• 44:02Lewis Howes?

  It changed yours, but it also changed other people's lives.

• 44:04Jen Sincero?

  Yes.

• 44:05Lewis Howes?

  So it's who you become, the lessons you learn, the wisdom you have.

• 44:08Jen Sincero?

  Yes.

• 44:08Lewis Howes?

  To then be able to be of service and teach.

• 44:11Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 44:11Lewis Howes?

  From your own experience.

• 44:12Jen Sincero?

  Exactly. Yeah, the book about me getting a hundred grand a year, just for being, would not be that interesting to people.

• 44:18Lewis Howes?

  Right, right. That's interesting.

• 44:19Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 44:20Lewis Howes?

  What is the question you get asked by your readers the most? That you wish they truly could hear and believe the answer to?

• 44:30Jen Sincero?

  Oh, so many. Well, the one that I said about what do you do when the people closest to you don't support you? Another one is how do you keep the motivation? Like, you know, we go to these seminars, we read books, we listen to the podcasts and we're all raring to go and then.

• 44:45Lewis Howes?

  A month later, you go back in your.

• 44:47Jen Sincero?

  Exactly, yeah, so.

• 44:48Lewis Howes?

  So how do you stay motivated?

• 44:49Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 44:50Lewis Howes?

  On your vision and on your growth journey?

• 44:53Jen Sincero?

  Well, I call it going to the spiritual gym. And you've got to have a spiritual gym practice because you do not get to work out physically and then stop going to the gym. Once you're in shape, so just because you got in shape at the seminar or listen to the podcast or whatever, you don't get to stop doing stuff. So, and it doesn't, and you know, I'm working so hard to start my business. I don't want to do anything. Damn, wait, wait, wait. So it's like, it can be 20 minutes. You know, you working out for 20 minutes a day can do a lot of great things. So it's like, spiritual gym workout, meditate for 15, read a self-help book for five. Like, what music are you listening to? Who are you hanging out with? What makes you feel like you could flip over a car? Like, what are those things? And do them every single solitary day for 20 minutes. It's not that big a whoop-de-doo.

• 45:38Jen Sincero?

  You know, when you think about that it's going to change your entire life. You know, so, and take it as seriously as anything else because that work will make everything else that you're taking seriously and trying to achieve so much easier. And, you know, I'm giving a lot of talks right now and the, and the thing that I'm just so excited, and I'm so excited to be speaking right now too, because it reminds me, it's my spiritual gym, right? Like, we all need it. So, but the thing about, because we are spiritual creatures having a physical experience, right? And if you, and like, instead of just giving it lip service and talking, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that. But think about it, we are the universal intelligence that created everything that is.

• 46:20Jen Sincero?

  We are, our thoughts are universal intelligence, the stuff that created everything that is. Why are we not more stuck up? Why are we not feeling so powerful all of the time? If we're really going to believe it, if we're really gonna go steroids on woo-woo and, and go there and really, like, if you thought about that all day long, about your thoughts being... You know, when you're in alignment, not the garbage thoughts that you think, but when you get quiet and you tap into your inner yippie skippy, as I like to call it, and you're there and you're in the flow, it's like, it's so exciting, right? Instead of spinning out on how pissed off you are at somebody, you're freaking out about this.

• 47:03Lewis Howes?

  Judging people.

• 47:03Jen Sincero?

  Judging people, what we do all the time, right? If you can just catch yourself, and that's why awareness is the key to transformation, right? So you just catch yourself when you're in the spins. And this is why meditation is so important, because it gets you into the habit of catching yourself, right? Because you're trying to stay clear. So it's not just about catching yourself in meditation and moving the thoughts away. Meditation is practice for doing it all day long. So catching yourself and being like, ah, I'm gonna tap back into universal intelligence, the stuff that created all that is. So, and then just going from there.

• 47:34Lewis Howes?

  If you could reflect on You Are Bad, which, when I read it, it gave me like this jolt of energy, because I was like, this is exactly what I want to talk about consistently. You know, I had, the School of Greatness, I think, had come out for maybe, I don't know. I think I read your book maybe a year after I started. I saw it on the shelves, but I ended up getting it maybe a year after I started the show. And I was like, this is amazing, I'm so glad you're talking about this, because it's everything that I believed in and everything I wanted to continue to express in my own way. If you could reflect on one idea from that book, and you can only share one idea.

• 48:12Jen Sincero?

  You're so mean, man, all right.

• 48:14Lewis Howes?

  That you believe is the thesis of the book, that you want people to remember, and remember a concept, a phrase, an idea from it, what would that be for you?

• 48:27Jen Sincero?

  Well, kind of what I just said, but since I just said it, I'm gonna use my point for another.

• 48:33Lewis Howes?

  Another one, yeah.

• 48:33Jen Sincero?

  My one thing, my one thing I get to say. I really believe that if we all did something that scared us every single solitary day, our lives would change so quickly, we wouldn't know what hit us, right?

• 48:47Lewis Howes?

  Let's go Jen.

• 48:47Jen Sincero?

  And scary in that like terror excitement way, like terror excitement. Like you don't have to like run into traffic, you know, but something that's like in the direction of where you want to go that scares you because fear is the sign. It's the compass that you're getting outside of the familiarity zone.

• 49:01Lewis Howes?

  So true.

• 49:02Jen Sincero?

  Right? So if you just take those steps outside and just do the scary thing every day, every day. Wow. Cause that's, that's really when I was making all of my huge financial transformations, it was always, you know, my coach would always tell me something. I'd be like, totally didn't want to do it, but I knew if I did it, it would transform our life and it was exciting, you know, it was like leaping into the void, just like ah.

• 49:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 49:29Jen Sincero?

  And that's the sign, yeah.

• 49:29Lewis Howes?

  I have this concept in, in my latest book, The Greatest Mindset, called Creating Your Fear List. If you want to become fearless, you've got to create a fear list.

• 49:37Jen Sincero?

  That's brilliant.

• 49:38Lewis Howes?

  And really go all in on this. This is something I did as a teenager in my twenties, in my thirties, at different seasons of life. I was like, what is the thing that makes me feel so insecure right now? I had a lot of false confidence.

• 49:49Jen Sincero?

  Love that.

• 49:49Lewis Howes?

  You know, I was like this jockey ego, like I'm big and tough and I'm an athlete and I can dominate on the sports field, but then I couldn't talk to girls without being, you know, sweating and being terrified.

• 49:59Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 49:59Lewis Howes?

  I couldn't dance or sing in public without being like humiliated or whatever it was.

• 50:04Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:05Lewis Howes?

  I, I couldn't speak in public also. So all these things I wrote on my fear list in my twenties, after I broke my wrist and was on my sister's couch, I was like, I'm already humiliated. I have no money. I'm living in my sister's place for a year and a half. Um, you know, my dad just went through this thing that I don't have him really in my life anymore. Uh, my, my passion, my dreams are gone. So I have, what do I do now? Let me just conquer all my fears. And it was the greatest gift I gave myself because it gave me so much belief and confidence in me. Every time I would just get a little bit better in my fears. It's not like I had to like overcome it all in a day.

• 50:41Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 50:42Lewis Howes?

  But I just saw like, saw a little bit of progress every day and practicing my fears, public speaking, a little bit every week. I was like a little less nervous, a little more confident, a little more skill every week over a year's time where I was like, man, I'm a powerful human being. I can do anything now. Let me figure out the next fear and just kept repeating it. And and I'm still in that now, like I'm I'm trying to learn Spanish and I still get insecure like speaking Spanish. I'm still like a beginner, but it's like, I gotta keep practicing and a little bit of growth every day, a little bit better, you know? I don't think we fluent overnight, but what am I overcoming just little by little? That really gives me a lot more confidence in self and belief. And I think my thesis is self doubt is the killer of dreams.

• 51:24Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 51:24Lewis Howes?

  When we doubt self, it's really hard to do anything.

• 51:28Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 51:28Lewis Howes?

  Courageously, because we're constantly in doubt mode.

• 51:30Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 51:31Lewis Howes?

  So I loved your book about stop doubting yourself and start stepping into your greatness.

• 51:35Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 51:36Lewis Howes?

  And um, and a lot of people are stuck in doubt. What do you think beyond facing fears we can do to believe in ourselves more? And overcome the the self doubt that we have better?

• 51:50Jen Sincero?

  I think not waiting until you're ready, you know? And this is kind of saying the same thing, like facing the fear, but like making sure everything's perfect. Making sure you've got all the money tucked away, making sure you're the right weight, you know, whatever, like just doing it now. You know, just do it now and take action now is is a really big one, I think. And um, and also, you know, paying attention again to how you speak about yourself and what you think about yourself and what you, how you treat yourself and, you know, I wrote a whole section in Bad Habits about boundaries, you know? Boundaries are huge when it comes to self care and self doubt.

• 52:32Jen Sincero?

  And we make lousy boundaries and put everybody in front of us because we want to be liked. And you know, and then we're passive aggressive and resentful, which is super fun for everyone, you know? So it's like, but you know, really getting clear on who you are and what you love and making that a priority.

• 52:51Lewis Howes?

  When did you stop abandoning yourself?

• 52:54Jen Sincero?

  You know, I still do it sometimes, of course. I mean, yeah, yeah.

• 52:57Lewis Howes?

  In what ways do you?

• 52:59Jen Sincero?

  Oh, God.

• 52:59Lewis Howes?

  Is it in relationships? Is it in self-care? Is it in the way you talk to them?

• 53:03Jen Sincero?

  Not speaking, you know, sort of not standing my ground in the moment if somebody says something really crappy. You know, and it doesn't have to be, I'm not, I also don't want to be the personality police, like if someone's gonna say something. But more just not saying anything, like instead of like rushing it over because it's awkward. Just letting it sit there, like the big turd it is and let it, everybody like have a good look at it instead of helping them recover or, you know, just like in the, in the moment is always interesting to me. So slowly, so my mantra for the past five years has been like, slow down and shut up. Like just slow down and shut up. Like I'm, you know, just listen and just choose your words wisely.

• 53:46Lewis Howes?

  You don't have to react to everything.

• 53:47Jen Sincero?

  Exactly. So, yeah, for sure.

• 53:50Lewis Howes?

  Personality police is everything.

• 53:51Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, it's not your job to teach everybody how to behave. Let them say what they want. Let them, you know, and this is all part of my whole, like not giving a crap what people think of me. It's just like, think what you like. Think what you like. It's not my.

• 54:02Lewis Howes?

  Right. It's almost, it's almost, you know, in a way, and I've done this many times. It's not like I'm saying I'm above or anything, but when we judge another person because they didn't do it the way we liked it, or they think they should do it, or it's appropriate in the setting, we are being judgmental.

• 54:18Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 54:18Lewis Howes?

  We are being judgmental. We're not accepting. I'm not saying that's the right or wrong thing to do, but it's just something to notice.

• 54:25Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 54:25Lewis Howes?

  There's a judgment that's happening.

• 54:27Jen Sincero?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:27Lewis Howes?

  And when there's a judgment, there's usually a right and wrong.

• 54:30Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 54:31Lewis Howes?

  And so it's just, is that serving us in the flow of our peace, our happiness, our abundance? And being in harmony with the world. And maybe there is a time where we need to step up and create a boundary and say something and say, get away from me or whatever it is, but.

• 54:44Jen Sincero?

  But it's really more about, it's the inside job thing where it's none of your business, you know, that's their journey. So that's really, you know, and I don't think we ever get there. I don't think, I think it is human.

• 54:56Lewis Howes?

  To judge.

• 54:56Jen Sincero?

  To judge. Yeah, and it's fun. Come on.

• 54:59Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure.

• 54:59Jen Sincero?

  But, um, but I do think that it's a very worthwhile way to spend your time, like working that muscle and just getting, because it's also more fun, like. If you don't, if you just leave it to them and let them do it, it's, it's, you're not spinning out on it anymore. You're not focusing on it, which pulls more of it into your radar anyway. Like, if you can just focus on what feels fun and good and true, and just like, let them have it back.

• 55:24Lewis Howes?

  Right. How important is healing our past and our thoughts tied to having peace around making money?

• 55:33Jen Sincero?

  Super important. Because if you're, because if you go out and make a ton and you're still weird about it, right? You're, first of all, not gonna enjoy it, and you'll probably lose it. Or you'll be, you know, put it in a hole in the backyard and never spend it, or...

• 55:49Lewis Howes?

  Corn it, yeah.

• 55:50Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it is.

• 55:53Lewis Howes?

  What is the thing that people should focus on healing the most in order to set themselves financially free?

• 55:59Jen Sincero?

  I think it's different for everybody. I think we all are fed different lies and fears and things. So I think it's, but figuring out what your bag of worms is, you know? You've gotta get clear about that. And I'll tell you, the way that I discovered the big kahuna for me, which was my dad, like stabbing my dad in the heart, like I was talking about earlier, was spending money. So the way that, so I did, I did the letter to money. I was doing all, I was really serious about figuring out my stuff with money. And I was at a coaching seminar, and this coach was speaking from the stage, and he said that he charged $85,000 a year to work with him. And I, he was great, and I really loved him, and I totally wanted to work with him. And when I heard $85,000,

• 56:44Jen Sincero?

  because I had been doing all this work on my wealth consciousness, instead of being like, "He's high!", like what a, you know, but about a million...

• 56:52Lewis Howes?

  He's crazy, yeah, yeah.

• 56:53Jen Sincero?

  Very rational excuses not to do it. Instead of going there, I went to, "Okay, how am I gonna get 85 grand?" Like, that's where my mind went first. And that's only because I'd been going to the financial spiritual gym for so long that that's where my mindset was. So I went, "How am I gonna get $85,000?" And I had a vision of my father. And a lot of stuff comes to me visually, a vision of my dad. And he always wore this yellow v-neck sweater, and he had his hands in his pockets, and he was looking down at the ground really sad. And I was like, "Oh, my God, that's it. It's, it's going to kill him if I get rich, because he won't be able to show me he loves me anymore."

• 57:26Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 57:27Jen Sincero?

  It was so profound, and that really was a straw that broke the camel's back for me.

• 57:31Lewis Howes?

  So what did you do after that then?

• 57:33Jen Sincero?

  Well, it was interesting. I ended up not working with that coach. But I ended up-

• 57:37Lewis Howes?

  It got you thinking about, yeah.

• 57:38Jen Sincero?

  But I ended up hiring a different coach.

• 57:40Lewis Howes?

  For a lot of money.

• 57:41Jen Sincero?

  A couple of weeks later for the same amount.

• 57:42Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 57:43Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 57:44Lewis Howes?

  And so how did you heal that belief around like, I'm gonna kill my dad if I make a lot of money?

• 57:50Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 57:50Lewis Howes?

  Did you have conversations with him? Did you do something internally?

• 57:54Jen Sincero?

  It wasn't about him at all. It was about me and my perception. So what I started doing was visualizing him being so proud of me and supporting me and being happy and like turning it around, just being like, he's gonna be so relieved that I can take care of myself. Cause my dad had me when he was older, so it's like, he'll feel so rested. And the other thing too, that was so funny, like my relationship with him was pretty rough. And so whenever, um, when I started getting, when I started making money, and I would tell him about it, he didn't really listen very well. And I'd be like, Dad, you know, I just got paid this much. He's like, that's nice. He has an Italian accent that I always try to imitate that I'm terrible at. At the end of the call, he'd be like, you know, do you need some help financially?

• 58:38Jen Sincero?

  And I'd be like, Dad, I just told you that. And so I get, you know, all after the yellow sweater, hands in pockets moment, I was like, it's the only way he knows how to show love. So I could be like, Dad, I just made $10 million. And at the end of the call, he'd be like-

• 58:51Lewis Howes?

  Do you need 20 bucks?

• 58:51Jen Sincero?

  Do you need 20 bucks? I'd be like, you know, that'd be great. Thank you so much. And I could see how much it meant to him. And I get 20 bucks and everything's good. So it was a really beautiful, and it really healed my relationship with him a lot.

• 59:03Lewis Howes?

  Did he say, I love you? Did he speak?

• 59:05Jen Sincero?

  Oh, he always said, I love you. Like, he was, he was good that way, but he was a real, um, he just, he was a super introvert and he just was really uncomfortable with emotions. Yes. And he's Italian. I thought, they're all screaming and yelling. And I was like, are you sure you're Italian?

• 59:19Lewis Howes?

  Sure, sure. But that was his way of showing affection and that he loved you by this act.

• 59:24Jen Sincero?

  And he also was raised to think men are providers. And that's how you show, yeah.

• 59:27Lewis Howes?

  Even if you make money, I'm still gonna provide and support you.

• 59:30Jen Sincero?

  Yes.

• 59:30Lewis Howes?

  What do you think would have happened if you would have? Stopped allowing him to give you, you know, ten, twenty, fifty bucks.

• 59:38Jen Sincero?

  It would have really hurt his feelings.

• 59:39Lewis Howes?

  Because he wanted to give it to you. What would have?

• 59:41Jen Sincero?

  It would have really hurt his feelings. Like, it really would have made him feel cut off for me.

• 59:47Lewis Howes?

  So this is interesting because you don't need someone to pay for you for things, right? Like, you can pay for your own life. You can pay for food and dinner and trips and your home. Like, you don't need someone to pay for it.

• 59:58Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 59:59Lewis Howes?

  The thing that I've learned in the last couple of years of being with my girlfriend Martha is that it's, you know, I don't.

• 1:00:10Lewis Howes?

  She can take care of her own stuff, and she takes care of certain stuff, and there are certain things that I take care of for us. And I take care of myself financially in certain ways. But I've gotten to the point where I don't feel like I need to pay for everything to feel like she, like, I'm enough.

• 1:00:28Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 1:00:28Lewis Howes?

  Like, I'm good enough, or that I'm deserving or worthy, or this is my value in being able to give everything financially. Now, again, and I don't want to rob her of being able to pay for the things that she's made her money. I want her to be able to pay for certain things for herself. But it does mean I get to show up

• 1:00:49Lewis Howes?

  in a different way, maybe not financially, but spiritually, with my presence, with my generosity of my words and my time, like, my thoughtfulness, and provide value in other ways not tied to money. And sometimes that can be uncomfortable if we haven't trained ourselves how to provide value outside of money in a relationship.

• 1:01:16Lewis Howes?

  And I've had to learn that, and it's been a powerful breakthrough in a lot of ways.

• 1:01:20Jen Sincero?

  Cool.

• 1:01:21Lewis Howes?

  It hasn't been in the last two years. It's been like a decade of me doing this, but it allows me not to feel like, oh, she's paying for her own food right now. I'm worthless.

• 1:01:30Jen Sincero?

  Right. Yeah.

• 1:01:31Lewis Howes?

  Then I'm nothing to her, and, you know.

• 1:01:34Jen Sincero?

  Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:35Lewis Howes?

  And it's been, it's been, it's been powerful to empower her to be able to make decisions financially.

• 1:01:40Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Lewis Howes?

  Which she was doing before me. She didn't need me to do that.

• 1:01:43Jen Sincero?

  Right.

• 1:01:43Lewis Howes?

  She was already doing that.

• 1:01:44Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Lewis Howes?

  But to me, now I feel like I have to pay for everything.

• 1:01:47Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47Lewis Howes?

  And she just has to, like, let me provide.

• 1:01:50Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, I know. It's interesting.

• 1:01:52Lewis Howes?

  It's more of a mutual providing of value in the relationship intimately.

• 1:01:58Lewis Howes?

  Peacefully, like the highest currency for me is peace.

• 1:02:01Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:02Lewis Howes?

  I would take peace over money all day long. And she brings peace to the relationship. Therefore, I don't need her to ever spend money on anything. Be peaceful and I'm, you've got a happy man.

• 1:02:17Lewis Howes?

  But um, and I think that's just something to look at, like what, how can you bring value into a relationship not related to money?

• 1:02:23Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, well, listen, Louis, I'm cutting you a check after I leave. You said that right after. I was like, of course it's my daddy's stuff. I mean, come on. Yeah. Yeah, no, that is something to look at for sure.

• 1:02:35Lewis Howes?

  What was the best lesson your dad's taught you?

• 1:02:38Jen Sincero?

  You know, he, uh,

• 1:02:42Jen Sincero?

  oh, I don't know. This is such a great lesson, but it's a really funny line, so I have to say it, but I remember when, I think he taught me a lot about perspective because he grew up in Italy, uh, in Naples and um, he didn't come over here till he was in his twenties. And so I, and he just always thought American children were so spoiled. He was like, oh my God, you whiny little, like, I can't believe. So I remember like one time, like in college, I was like, Dad, will you help pay for therapy? I'd really like to talk to a therapist. He's like, you don't need therapy. You know what you need? A war fought on your soil. And I was like, okay, right. Good perspective. But just sort of his, um, I mean, I think also that you can love in different ways.

• 1:03:24Jen Sincero?

  Like, I feel like that's sort of what he has really taught me, you know, with the money stuff, like that was just his, you love however you can. And that he really, I mean, the guy could not look at me without crying, like he just, but he couldn't express it. So it was like, it was really like he couldn't. And I was so angry at him for so long for not.

• 1:03:41Lewis Howes?

  Telling you certain things?

• 1:03:42Jen Sincero?

  Yes, and not listening to me the right way and all stuff. And I'm just so, he lived into his nineties and I'm so glad he did because I feel so good where our relationship was by the time he passed. Because I put down the bag, you know, I was like, let it go, Jen, like he is doing.

• 1:03:56Lewis Howes?

  Doing his best.

• 1:03:57Jen Sincero?

  The best that he can. And he loves me and how lucky am I that I have a dad who loves me that much? So it was really, really great. So I just feel like he really taught me a lot about, it doesn't have to be the way you expect it to be. It can be different. Somebody can love you differently than you would love them. And that you expect it and to be grateful as hell that they do.

• 1:04:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that.

• 1:04:18Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:20Lewis Howes?

  I want to ask you about coaching because I've heard coaching a few times. As an athlete, I know the value of coaching from sports into business. I have a relationship coach, I have a, you know, health coach, nutrition coach. I have coaching in every area because coaching worked for me as an athlete to get to my goals.

• 1:04:36Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:36Lewis Howes?

  And accomplish the dreams that I had in sports. So when I transitioned from sports into life, the first thing I did is look for mentors and coaches to guide me on my path. I don't think I'd be where I am today without having great coaches and guides. Do you think we should all find a money coach? Or have some type of coaching within money, whether that's a financial advisor? Or maybe it's reading your book around money or listening to content about money? Or should we have guides and coaches?

• 1:05:06Jen Sincero?

  Yes, I mean, especially if you're not making it like.

• 1:05:09Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:05:10Jen Sincero?

  You need money and you, you need it now, you know? So get a coach. Like I always talk about Olympic athletes have coaches. Why do you think you and your scraggly little trying to scrape it together? Why do you think you don't need one? You know, that's what got me doing it. I was just like, who am I kidding? I've been trying for 40 years on my own and I couldn't do it.

• 1:05:28Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:05:29Jen Sincero?

  Yeah, no, I think coaching, I think coaching because also we all know what it's like. Like when you're saying, you know, how would I coach somebody who's going through what I'm going through? It's super easy, right? When it's not me. So that's what a coach also does is like they see, they're not in your forest with all your trees. Like they're looking at it without all your bull around it, you know? So they can see it so much more easily. And so a good coach can save you so much time and money in the long run.

• 1:05:53Lewis Howes?

  Do you have a coach right now?

• 1:05:54Jen Sincero?

  I don't have a coach right now. Yeah, but I'm still in that sort of incubation. Maybe I need a coach to help me figure out what I want to do next. Yeah, no, but I'm not scared of hiring them. I mean, I love that, yeah.

• 1:06:04Lewis Howes?

  But you're in a season of discovering and reflecting on what you want next.

• 1:06:08Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:08Lewis Howes?

  You've done so much in the last decade and.

• 1:06:10Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:10Lewis Howes?

  And now you're figuring out, okay, where am I at?

• 1:06:13Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:13Lewis Howes?

  What I want to contribute or how do I want to show up?

• 1:06:15Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:16Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Interesting.

• 1:06:18Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:18Lewis Howes?

  It'll come to you.

• 1:06:19Jen Sincero?

  It's fun and I'm still, and you know, I'm still doing stuff and I really believe in not sitting around and trying to figure it out. Because when you're about to do something new, you don't know what it is. You've never done it. So you gotta go out and do stuff.

• 1:06:30Lewis Howes?

  Try things.

• 1:06:31Jen Sincero?

  Try things. So I'm out there trying things for sure. And I'm, you know, and I'm still doing all the bad stuff. You know, we've got a lot of really cool things happening in that arena. So, um, so that's all super duper fun.

• 1:06:41Lewis Howes?

  That's great. That's great.

• 1:06:42Jen Sincero?

  But just, you know.

• 1:06:43Lewis Howes?

  Living the dream, Jen. I got a couple of final questions for you.

• 1:06:45Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:06:46Lewis Howes?

  What is the thing you're most proud of that most people? Want to know about you?

• 1:06:53Jen Sincero?

  Um, I would say that I'm a really good friend. I have friends, I have lifelong friends from forever and a lot of them and we're just like a family and

• 1:07:03Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 1:07:04Jen Sincero?

  I have, I feel like I'm an art collector and I have all these masterpieces of humanity that I just, I pick good ones.

• 1:07:10Lewis Howes?

  That's a great.

• 1:07:11Jen Sincero?

  And I keep them around because they're really important to me.

• 1:07:15Lewis Howes?

  That's cool.

• 1:07:15Jen Sincero?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Lewis Howes?

  I like that explanation of it.

• 1:07:19Lewis Howes?

  You're an art curator of humanity.

• 1:07:21Jen Sincero?

  I am.

• 1:07:21Lewis Howes?

  I like that.

• 1:07:22Jen Sincero?

  I'm telling you, I want to have it unveiling, which will just be called a party to some people, but.

• 1:07:26Lewis Howes?

  I like that a lot.

• 1:07:30Lewis Howes?

  I asked you this question on our previous interview, that was a virtual interview, but I'm curious your thought, your response to it now.

• 1:07:36Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:07:37Lewis Howes?

  So we'll have to reflect afterwards on what those answers were before to where they are now.

• 1:07:42Jen Sincero?

  Pressure's on.

• 1:07:43Lewis Howes?

  This question is called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario.

• 1:07:47Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:07:47Lewis Howes?

  You get to live as long as you want to live on this earth, but then one day you turn off the lights in this physical world.

• 1:07:53Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:07:54Lewis Howes?

  And you get to create and achieve and accomplish all the things you want to do.

• 1:07:57Jen Sincero?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:07:58Lewis Howes?

  Uh, but for whatever reason, all of your written, audio and video material has to go with you.

• 1:08:04Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:08:05Lewis Howes?

  From all your books and this interview and everything is gone. Hypothetical scenario.

• 1:08:09Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:08:09Lewis Howes?

  But you get to leave behind three truths, three lessons you would share with the world and this is all we have.

• 1:08:15Jen Sincero?

  Okay.

• 1:08:15Lewis Howes?

  Left of your, your words. What would be those three truths for you?

• 1:08:21Jen Sincero?

  Um, well, let's see. Three truths would be the most important thing to develop if you want to really live an awesome life is your mindset. Really develop your mindset and pay attention to it. Do the scary thing. Definitely do the scary thing every single day. And. Have as much fun as you can. Like, what else are we here for?

• 1:08:49Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's beautiful. You have, again, 10 year anniversary of You Are a Bad. You've got other amazing books as well. You're a Bad at Making Money. You're a Bad Every Day, Bad Habits. So many amazing books. Number one New York Times Bestseller. You've got an amazing course, I believe, as well. Coaching course.

• 1:09:11Jen Sincero?

  Group coaching course. It's so fun.

• 1:09:13Lewis Howes?

  At JenSincero.com, S-I-N-C-E-R-O.com, where you can get that information. What do they get in this course and this coaching?

• 1:09:22Jen Sincero?

  Well, I'm doing it live now, which I haven't done in eight years, and it's so much fun. I missed coaching. I really miss talking to other people. And it's, I've been selling it as a DIY course for a while, but now I'm back in it. So basically, you get, it's eight weeks long. You get, and what I love about this course is I wrote it right after I finished writing You Are a Bad. So I put in a lot of, like, time management and sort of like, you know, brass taxi kind of thing. And every other week is a spiritual element. So you start applying the spiritual to the tactile. So, because I really feel like, you know, we talk about all this stuff, but unless you're actually doing it while you're taking action, who cares? So, people, it's been so much fun. So basically, you get a video at the beginning of the week, you get a PDF with the video,

• 1:10:07Jen Sincero?

  and then every other week, you get a 90-minute coaching, group coaching call with me.

• 1:10:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow, that's cool.

• 1:10:12Jen Sincero?

  It's recorded, so if you can't be there, it's fine. And then, or a guided meditation, or a guided motivational.

• 1:10:19Lewis Howes?

  That's beautiful.

• 1:10:19Jen Sincero?

  Something or other. Yeah, it's really fun. And a Facebook group where you can hang out with the other people in the chorus.

• 1:10:25Lewis Howes?

  Everyone can use more, more coaching from you.

• 1:10:27Jen Sincero?

  Thank you.

• 1:10:28Lewis Howes?

  The synergy, I love it. You're also on social media everywhere, Jen Sincero, everywhere on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. What's the main platform you hang out the most?

• 1:10:36Jen Sincero?

  I like Instagram the best. Yeah.

• 1:10:38Lewis Howes?

  Okay. Make sure to follow you there. So if you enjoyed this, make sure to follow. Share a story, leave a message about your biggest takeaway from this episode on social media and also in the comments below over on YouTube. I want to acknowledge you, Jen, for your journey, you being an example of what's possible for people. Someone, you know, your whole life until you were 40, really being stuck in a mindset and having the courage to break through, through taking action on your fears consistently, through investing in yourself, through investing in coaching, through... Being willing to risk feeling vulnerable, feeling overwhelmed, feeling embarrassed, feeling like a failure at times and doing it consistently over the last, I guess, 15 plus

• 1:11:22Lewis Howes?

  years now. So I really, really acknowledge you for you being a channel to share this work with the world and impacting so many people along the way. It's been a beautiful journey to watch. I'm a fan of you, your work, your books. It resonates so much with me. So I acknowledge you for the gift that you are to humanity as well. It's beautiful.

• 1:11:41Jen Sincero?

  Thank you so much. It's so nice to meet you in person. You're like that easy, but you're totally kindred. You are like, you're just there all day. Yeah.

• 1:11:51Lewis Howes?

  My final question is, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:11:55Jen Sincero?

  Allowing yourself to be, do, and have everything that lights up your little heart.

• 1:12:00Lewis Howes?

  I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple Podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered

• 1:12:45Lewis Howes?

  right to your inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.