49 Josh Shipp: How to Build an Empire of Impact

Despite a traumatic youth, Josh Shipp has built an Empire of Impact with the power of vulnerability, effective mentorship and self imposed boundaries Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 49 with Josh Shipp.

• 0:07Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  What is upgrades? Thanks so much for tuning in today on the School of Greatness, the one and only podcast dedicated to helping you unlock your inner greatness. I'm very excited about today's guest. His name is Mr. Josh Shipp, a new friend of mine. We've had some great conversations. And this episode was a lot of fun for me because I got to tap into really learning about Josh's unique story. And he actually talks about how powerful it is that we all have our own personal story. And that how we should tap into effectively sharing that story for our business and our purpose in life.

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  And the power of your own personal story, really. Then he goes into how to go about building an empire of impact that matches the income and the impact that you want to have at the same time. We talk about how to discover your why and turning your passion into a profession. So I'm very excited about today's episode. We dive deep in a lot of different things. We also talk about the very end. The power of building a dream and if it's possible to have a huge dream while being in a marriage and having kids. So I get to talk a little bit about Josh's personal story there and what he thinks is possible.

• 1:57Lewis Howes?

  When you're in a marriage with children, if you're going to leave a big mark on the world. So very excited about this. And with that, guys, we're going to dive right into this. I'm going to get right into it and start tapping into Josh's mind right away. So get your pen and paper out, get ready to take some notes and let the class begin.

• 2:25Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. I've got a new friend on today. His name is Josh Shipp. What's up Josh?

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Hey man, how you doing?

• 2:33Lewis Howes?

  I am doing fantastic and unfortunately you're not in the studio in LA. It is an amazing day, but I believe you live in California, right?

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I grew up in Oklahoma, but met my wife. She grew up in California, so I am delighted that she imported me.

• 2:47Lewis Howes?

  Nice. You know, I moved from, I'm from Ohio and I moved from New York City to come here

• 2:53Lewis Howes?

  for a girl actually that didn't end up working out, but it's been an amazing experience and lesson that I've learned since being here. And the weather, man, it's amazing right now. I'm so blessed.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  It's crazy how I've become a weather pansy. It's like in Oklahoma, you would not believe the stuff that I survived through. And now if it gets below 62 or above 72, I just become a complete and total whiner.

• 3:18Lewis Howes?

  I need a winter coat. Yeah, exactly.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, and all my relatives are in Oklahoma. Like, we hate you. Shut up.

• 3:24Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Well, you've got an interesting story, man, and I want to dive into more of it today. You've got, you're an award-winning entrepreneur and host of a show called Jump Ship on TV. You've actually done a few different shows. You've got a show coming out in the future. I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about it yet, but it's with The Rock. And you've had some, an interesting journey, I would say. And what I want to know is, how did you, what was it like growing up for you to kind of discover your passion for this type of work you do? You speak to teens all over the world. I think you've spoken to over 2 million teens. You speak at universities, high schools, and really show people how

• 4:09Lewis Howes?

  to figure out what they love and make money from what they love. And so how did you kind of get into that?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, so my story is this. My biological mom was 17 when she had me. I think I was sort of a prom pregnancy or something. My mother was abandoned by her mother when she was a baby. And then in turn, my mother did the same thing to me. She, you know, gave birth to me and then I don't know exactly how this works out, but like, I guess just got up and left, you know, eventually from the hospital. And so I immediately entered into the foster care system. And when I got old enough to kind of become rebellious and angry and oppositional, I very quickly did. And I mean, so much is clear now that wasn't then is that it's like, you know, your mom

• 4:59Speaker 01

  is certainly one of the people on the planet you're supposed to trust most. And so this was a very early, bold yelling statement to me is, don't trust anybody, especially those that you're supposed to be able to count on.

• 5:12Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. How'd that work out for you?

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Well, initially, not well at all. You know, I ended up bouncing in and out of about 12 different foster homes. Most of them were actually great parents, but I just, I wouldn't give them a chance. You know, again, it's not only that I didn't trust adults that I shouldn't, it's that I didn't trust adults that I really should. Some of these homes were terrible. You know, I was abused, I was raped, I was, you know, I would hoard food because I wasn't sure where my next meal would come from. Sort of a, you know, just a lot of like crazy, crazy, like, you know, like foster kid, like movie sort of stuff.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  And then, when I was 14, I had sort of, I moved into yet another home. And I thought, you know, here we go, yet another home, and these people are gonna talk, you know, big about how they're gonna love me unconditionally and all this crap, and yeah, whatever, let's just get this over with. Louis, dude, I would literally keep a notebook of when I entered a home, and then when I exited the home by getting kicked out, and I would try to beat my high score.

• 6:20Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  And I would document what technique I used. I mean, I was so emotionally removed from it. It was just like this game for me of like, you know, you act like you care, but I know you don't. I know you're eventually gonna give up on me, so let's just get it over. But these final set of parents... Completely changed my life. They were consistent. They backed up everything they said with their actions and they backed up all their actions with their words. You know, they were, they were tough and tender, which is exactly what a kid like me needed, was sometimes to be hugged and sometimes to be kicked. And, you know, those two individuals, the Weidemires in Oklahoma,

• 7:04Speaker 01

  completely transformed my life, completely changed my life. And this is why, one of my big things is that, is that every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story because the Weidemires were that for me. And, and that's been my drive and my motivating factor to do the work that I do with, with kids and teens and parents, is to be that one caring adult for some kid, be it through a message, a book, a show, training other people to go out and do that sort of work. That's, that's really my, my heartbeat behind why I do what I do is like, I had this insane childhood and I remember how frustrating and confusing and alienating and just what a complete and total mess I felt like. And

• 7:49Speaker 01

  to have some caring adults who didn't put on a show but were genuine and helped, helped me at that, at critical time, it's like, that's what I want to do. It's my way of saying thank you to the Weidemires and others like them that helped me.

• 8:04Lewis Howes?

  How old were you when you met them?

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Uh, 14 years old. And, you know, if you think about that, it's like, here's this 14 year old showing up on your doorstep with all this baggage and garbage and crap that it, that you did not cause, that was not your fault, but now you gotta deal with it. And, you know, even though, again, they're like two of the finest people on the planet, I pushed them away. I, you know, tried to, to hold them at an arm's distance. I tried to get kicked out of there. I, I tried everything to, to, again, you know, let's just get this over with. I know you guys don't really care, so let's just accelerate this inevitable

• 8:46Speaker 01

  breakup. But they, they just wouldn't. I remember, um, one night I went to jail because I wrote a bunch of hot checks as a teenager. And they brought me home and I was, it was certainly a rock bottom moment for me. My mom made me stay the night in jail, although she could have bailed me out the night before, uh, which looking back was very wise, sort of making me feel the pain of my own stupidity. And they brought me home that next morning and I assumed they would yell or lecture, um, which was certainly in their right. And they just looked at me and very calmly said, "You can keep causing problems. You can keep pushing us away if you want, but..."

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Uh, and excuse my language, they said, "Damn it, Josh, we don't see you as a problem. We see you as an opportunity. Why don't you start to see yourself like that?"

• 9:37Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Um, and dude, Louis, they had probably said that sort of thing to me probably a hundred times. Um, I, I know them, they're just that kind of people. They probably said it a hundred times. But here I was in a moment where I was actually really ready to listen to it. Um, and in that moment, it's not fair to say in that moment my life changed, but in that moment I made the commitment that my life would change.

• 10:04Lewis Howes?

  It started shifting.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then, uh, you know, look, I've done a lot of work with young people who are at risk and my opinion is you can't change anyone's life, but if you can get someone to make that commitment to begin to accept help, you know, and so then came hundreds of hours of counseling, uh, a big brother through big brothers, big sisters, uh, you know, being more open to my foster parents, to my social workers, to all this sort of stuff of beginning to wade through my own, um, issues, uh, you know, that, that began that, that life change and man, I'm, uh, unbelievably grateful for it today as, as a guy who's married, has kids and, uh, I'm certainly not perfect.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  I'm certainly, uh, flawed in many, many ways, but, but I'm, but I'm so grateful, uh, to have figured that out and, and that the Weidemars didn't walk away, 'cause, ah, man, it would have been so easy to.

• 10:59Lewis Howes?

  Did you stay with them all through college?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, well, really, man, I, you know, I consider them to be my parents today and they're very much like, you know, you, you come over whenever they, they come out here to California.

• 11:10Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  So I, when I moved out to college, I, I lived on my own or in, in the dorms or, uh, you know, with friends or whatever, but, but I would go back there during the breaks and that sort of thing.

• 11:21Lewis Howes?

  Sure. Nice. Now, let me ask you a question about this. Something I've been thinking about lately is the story of success with people. And when I think of people with extreme success, I think about them as having extreme pain with something in their life. And do you believe that in order to achieve some type of level of extreme, extreme success, acknowledgement, or extreme love, that one must experience the worst of pains that they can experience in order to have that?

• 11:56Speaker 01

  It's an interesting question, and my wife and I were talking about it the other day because I said to her, I said, you know, I, I'm kind of like worried as a dad because I feel like so much of my success has come from having an unbelievably rocky childhood. And, you know, I worry about, you know, because our, you know, our, you know, my kid's parents are mostly stable and, you know, things are mostly stable and good. It's like, you know, do I need to start beating them and starving them like, you know, for them to, to, to grow resilient and, and have all those things that success requires? Uh, you know, I, I don't, I don't think it's a hundred percent necessary, but, but for

• 12:38Speaker 01

  me, I can certainly see both the positive and the negative side of it. Um, you know, I think you never completely eliminate those issues that you have. We all have them and it's not, you know, father or mother issues, but we all have kind of those issues. I, I think you just begin to anticipate those issues, you learn from them.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  But for me, they still show up and I'm incredibly resilient in business. You know, a dozen no's, a hundred no's does not bother me. Because I was given the biggest no by my birth parents. You know, by the people who were supposed to be there. So whatever, that doesn't bother me. However, those recurring issues of trust, that bites me in the butt sometimes in business. Because I'm either too trusting, because it's like, eh, this seems great. Or I'm not trusting enough. And I, you know, was still from time to time, hold people at an arm length distance.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  So I think those struggles and challenges that I've gone through have worked both to my benefit and against me from time to time.

• 13:52Lewis Howes?

  Do you think you'd be where you are today without them?

• 13:56Lewis Howes?

  Like, let's just say, business success. Would you have that without those experiences?

• 14:02Speaker 01

  I'm not sure. You know, my therapist, and I still talk to my therapist quite frequently. You know, he says oftentimes that people who've been through, you know, sort of trauma or these sorts of things, there becomes this grandiosity about them. You know, and it's like, you know, I wonder sometimes, have I tried to and have mostly successfully built such a sort of, a public, large-scale, you know, personal brand? In my little niche, I'm very well-known. I mean, not outside of that, but in my little niche, I'm very well-known. You know, is that a way to try to smoke signal my mother?

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Is that a way to try to say, you know, either I'm okay, or look what you missed out on? Or, you know, is that somewhere inside of me, perhaps a motivating factor? And dude, I'll be honest with you, early on... Getting in the business that I'm in, speaking and writing and those sorts of things. Early on, it was about those sorts of things. It was about me, me, me, me, me, making me feel better, making me look cooler, making me seem more significant, instead of what it should really be about, which is obviously about your audience. But in the beginning, you know, my motivating factors were very much around ego and making

• 15:27Speaker 01

  myself feel better and look better and, and, and juking everybody about my own problems. And let's talk about yours and focus on what's going on in your life, because I don't want to talk about mine.

• 15:39Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Which, interestingly, you know, anyone who's been through something rough, be it in business, you've had some sort of failure or bankruptcy, or personally, you've gone through a divorce or something tragic, or tragic death, or whatever, that is one of the most powerful illustrations and opportunities you have to influence someone, is to talk about it. And not just to talk about it, to talk about yourself, but to talk about it, to illustrate and have the right to call out those challenges in the other person's life. And when I started out, I didn't talk about any of this stuff I just told you about the first five minutes of this conversation. I shied away from it.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  I didn't want to seem like a whiner, I didn't want to seem like a complainer, when ultimately, you know, people learn more from our failures, our screw-ups, and our hardships than us just always talking about our successes. But I was terrified in the beginning to talk about it.

• 16:40Lewis Howes?

  Were you just afraid to be vulnerable?

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Um, well, I mean, part of it was, I certainly hadn't worked through my own issues myself. So I, I felt like I had, I had a... I had the struggle there, but no perspective on it. You know, no like, you know, and here's the insight, or here's the lesson, or here's a whatever. So I feel like it would have just been vomiting on the audience.

• 17:06Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Would, would, yeah, no, no.

• 17:09Lewis Howes?

  Being a victim.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 17:11Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Um, so i- it was partly that, and, and then, yeah, exactly, partly ego. Again, I don't want to seem like a whiner, I don't want to seem weak. If I'm on a stage, that means I'm supposed to elevate myself, but really, in my opinion, the stage is not built for the speaker, the stage is built for the audience.

• 17:31Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  It, it, it's there for their benefit, not for yours.

• 17:35Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Uh, a- and so much early on was about me and my benefit. But then, I just got to this point where I felt like my message was phony, and garbage, and me trying to be any and everything but myself. Uh, and I said, screw it, I'm just gonna go out there and be honest and vulnerable, and real, and me. Uh, and one of the first times I did that, not the first time, I don't want to lie to try to make some kind of like, really cool story, but one of the first times I did that, uh, a girl came up to me and handed me a suicide note and said, "Thanks, I don't need this anymore."

• 18:16Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Uh, I'd never had anything like that happen.

• 18:21Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  And I remember sitting in the parking lot with that note, just looking at it, and I was just like, I, I must have sat there for a half hour, like, I had no idea what to say, no idea what to do. But it, it hit me of like, um, you know, I must be vulnerable, I must be honest, I must be open, because I believe when we're vulnerable about our screw-ups, um, A, we let people know that they're not broken, weird, and alone, uh, that they're, that that all of us are messed up, um, and, and that all of us are imperfect, and all of us have those struggles and those doubts. I knew, and in that moment, that was, I'm gonna commit to continuing to do that.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Because of young people like this young lady, who for whatever reason, um, may think that she's the only one.

• 19:16Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Let's talk about everyone's own personal story. And what it mean, why we should share our own personal story in a real, authentic, vulnerable, honest way, uh, for the purpose of kind of fulfilling our passion and, uh, building a business or career or life around that. Why is that important? And how do you do it effectively so it doesn't come across as ego or cocky or whatever it may be?

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, great question. Well, I think ultimately, your story is, is your ultimate credibility. And, and also a bit of your ultimate, you know, unique positioning. Anyone can teach web design, or self-help theories, or whatever the case may be, uh, business stuff. But, but your unique perspective, story, struggle, uh, failures, successes, lessons, hardships, ups and downs, all of that. That really, really, really makes, makes it unique, makes it more palatable, and, and I believe gives you ultimate credibility.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  I mean, a lot of people are scared to talk about sort of their failures and screw-ups, thinking that it weakens their credibility. But I would argue it does, it does just the opposite. You know, the second you're writing a blog post, speaking on a stage, writing a book, doing any of that kind of stuff. People already, even if you don't see yourself this way, people already put you up on a, a bit of a pedestal. Um, and I believe your job is to kind of, not in a negative way, but kind of beat yourself down a little bit to remind them that, look, I've been in a similar situation.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  Not your exact situation, you know, my struggle is different than yours, but I've been through that struggle. And, and let me tell you about it. Now, it is tricky to make sure that you're using that struggle, that story to benefit. Uh, and the way I think about it is... Is again, the point is not, the point is the audience is not the therapist. The point is to bring up the story and then pause and then as clearly as you can, spell out what the lesson is for that audience, for that listener, for that reader. So for me, I mean, something I might say would be, you know, to a, to a young audience

• 21:49Speaker 01

  might be, you know, maybe you weren't left at the hospital when you were born. However, I know full well there have been times when you felt completely alone. And, and then I'll try to, I'll do a technique I call Barnum-ing, where I try to spell out perhaps inevitable situations. You know, maybe your parents recently got divorced. Maybe this thing happened, maybe that thing happened. Because ultimately the

• 22:17Lewis Howes?

  Something's happened, yeah, you'll throw it.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Exactly. Yeah, ultimately, the message here is, is use your story as, as credibility and in order to gain permission to speak directly into that other individual's life.

• 22:33Lewis Howes?

  And build trust and, yeah, all those things.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 22:36Lewis Howes?

  Interesting. Now, you talk about building an empire of impact and I think what you really mean is, how do I make an income around also leaving the biggest amount of impact with what I love doing or what I'm here to do, my purpose, my mission? So how does someone, you know, maybe struggling with their career, with their business, maybe they're just not excited about what they're doing, they've got a crappy boss or workforce that they're in, how does someone, number one, discover what they're passionate about if they don't already know? And then how do they start the process of making income around their passion to leave the biggest impact?

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, to me, I almost can't imagine that anyone

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Doesn't know what they're passionate about. Um, you know, I, I think most people have an idea. Maybe some people are afraid to say it out loud.

• 23:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  You know, because-

• 23:36Lewis Howes?

  They'd be shocked, man. When I ask people, "What are you passionate about?", they just say, "I don't know." But you gotta evoke some questions out of them, and then they're like, "Well, I love hanging out with friends", or "the beach", or eating food.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:44Lewis Howes?

  Eating food. But it's like, sometimes people are so shocked, or they're just so dulled from what they've been doing for so many years, that they're like, "I kinda forgot myself, you know, what I love doing."

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Exactly, yeah. Or, or "I didn't even think about this thing that I really, really love", which should've been my answer to your question, or whatever. You know, "I didn't know that there would be a way that I could slowly, eventually, you know, earn money doing that thing."

• 24:10Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  So, you know, to me, I, I think most of us, and I imagine, uh, and I love listening to the podcast as well, I think most people listening to School of Greatness kind of have, you know, at least a rough idea-

• 24:22Lewis Howes?

  Sure.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  -of what that is. So, to me, uh, really what matters then is not kind of, it's so easy to see, here's where we are today. And ultimately, when we're thinking about what we want to do long-term, what we do is we look up people online, we listen to podcasts, we read books, we watch shows, and we see people that are, you know, if we're at step A, we see people who are at like, step, you know, X in the alphabet, or Y in the alphabet, like, really, really have established themselves. And the problem with that is, it's important to look, um, not at your mentors, or heroes, or role models in results, but rather to look at their first steps. Uh, for two reasons.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Number one, if you look at someone's, uh, kind of where they're at today, it may be flashy and inspiring to a certain degree, but it's also gonna be depressing to you. Because you're gonna think, "They're so much more confident, competent, have it figured out, they have all these things that I don't have, there's no way I could be like them." But if you research and study them, and you look at their first steps, you'll realize they doubted themselves, they failed, they had all those insecurities that you're going through right now. Like, all of that stuff was the same, and so- I think looking at the end result, maybe is perhaps from time to time, a nice carrot.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  But looking at those beginning steps is actually a better on-ramp for individuals that are getting started. So to me, really, the only question that matters is this. What is your next step? And what is the training and accountability you're going to get around that next step? Most people focus on, "I eventually want to do blank. In 10 years, I want to do this. In 5 years, I want to do this." Who gives a crap? If you do not go to the next step, that B in the alphabet, you're never, ever going to eventually get to the promised land. So maybe you're at a dead-end job and you hate it and it's soul-sucking and all of those sorts of things. But you love graphic design.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  You'd love to have your own like one or two-man graphic design business. You need to ask yourself, "What is my next step? And what is the training and accountability I need to get around that? Does that mean I need to learn those skills? Does that mean I need to get a handful of clients on the nights and weekends? What is that next step? What do I need to learn? And who's going to lovingly harass me if I don't get that next step done?"

• 27:02Lewis Howes?

  What's your thoughts on mentors?

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Absolutely game-changing. The right mentor will save you years, tiers, and dollar bills with whatever it is you want to do. You're learning from someone's successes, from someone's failures. Man, I think it's so crucial. And to me, my personal practice of mentors in my own life is that I have a handful of mentors for different areas in my life that I want to improve. I'm a father and a husband today, and that is very, very important to me, particularly because of the way I grew up. It's a really big deal to me.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  And so I have a guy in my life, his name is Ken. And I think he's an awesome father and seems like an awesome husband. He's been married for 30-something years. He's a mentor to me in that area of my life.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  And then, you know, I have another mentor who's a mentor to me in business and, you know, sort of building a personal brand, but then scaling it beyond just a one-man operation that always relies on you. And so I think it's so and so important to have those mentors. And I would encourage everyone, you know, yes, having digital or online or at a distance mentors through podcasts or books or online mentoring programs is great, but I would also challenge everyone to have at least one mentor who lives within 50 miles of you, who can sit down with you, look you in the eyes, and tell you those hard truths, you

• 28:46Speaker 01

  know, encourage you when you need to be encouraged and call you on your crap when you need that too.

• 28:51Lewis Howes?

  Right. Now, I've got some, you know, I've had many influential mentors and I've talked about this on my show before, and I want to know what your advice is to, one, finding the right mentor, and then, I guess, enrolling them and why they should be giving their time to you for a period of time, however long the relationship may last.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, great, great question, because, you know, particularly people that are sort of up and coming or aspiring speakers or authors, I will get approached in all sorts of, as I'm sure you do as well, all sorts of varied ways and tactics and this and that. And what has worked for me to secure mentors and what has worked for others to secure a bit of my time has been this, is that, you know, anyone who you're going to want advice from is likely successful in whatever that endeavor is.

• 29:51Lewis Howes?

  Very busy.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. And likely, or not even busy, I don't actually see it as a compliment, but values their time and understands there can always be more money made, there can always be all that, but there's a finite amount of time. So you must approach these people, understanding that they're busy and smart as hell.

• 30:15Lewis Howes?

  And they don't give their time up to anyone.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  Exactly. So to me... You know, sometimes the way that I need to get in that circle is by, you know, buying their program, or going to their seminar, or this and that, and you just getting around them, that sort of thing, getting on their radar. Or, you know, another thing that I will do is I will, maybe I'm going through a very specific issue in my business, and I want an answer to it. I will email a question with three possible responses. So I'll say, "I actually just emailed a guy about this recently. And I said, 'Hey, I'm curious how you structured this. Is it A, this? Is it B, this? Is it C, this?

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Just feel free to reply with A, B, or C. Thank you very much.'" So I, A, don't expect them to tell me everything, like, "Can you tell me how you, from scratch, build a home?" Or whatever.

• 31:14Lewis Howes?

  Right. And you don't give your whole backstory of three-page email and expect them to read it all?

• 31:19Speaker 01

  No. You know, and if you have a website or something, like, just stick that at the bottom. If they, if they feel the need to know who you are, to like, make sure you're not going to waste their time, or actually have the courage and maturity to implement it. So just A, B, C, because it shows, A, I've, I've, I've, I've taken this ball down the field as far as I can. Like, I'm not expecting you to do everything for me. I've done a research, I've done research about what I think the answer is. That's why I've clearly spelled out an A, B, C. I just think you're smart enough to tell me which of, which of these answers is right, because to me, in my situation, I could argue that any of them are right. So which one is best? So that's kind of my step one in the process.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  And then step two is to follow up and thank them after I have implemented the advice that they gave me. Because I, I have been so sick and tired of one-night-stand mentees.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  You know, people who would say, "Hey, what do I do about this?" Well, here's what I think. And then boom, gone.

• 32:26Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  And it's like, you know, man, you didn't even call me the next day. Like, you know.

• 32:31Lewis Howes?

  You didn't tell me what happened. Yeah, exactly.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  I know. And so that proves to the mentor, A, that you value them, that you value the investment that they made in you with their time. Dude, some of these folks you're going to be approaching are so successful, they could charge you, you know, and they're generating thousands of dollars an hour for their time. And so if they give you just 15 minutes, they have made a significant investment in you. So I think, I think you must honor that investment that they have given you by showing them, and not for, not for your own gain, not for you, but as a thank you to them.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  You know, "Look, I implemented and here are the results I got. I really, really appreciate it."

• 33:19Lewis Howes?

  There's another bigger pet peeve of mine, I'll speak personally for myself, when someone reaches out and really wants some type of advice or mentoring or something, and they're like go-getter-y, they, they come after it, they're, you know, follow-up number of times, it takes them months sometimes, and then they get what they need, or they're looking for, and I, and I give them the time or the energy or the information, whatever it is, and then they go off and do nothing with it.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:46Lewis Howes?

  It's the most unsatisfying, like, leaves this empty feeling in my stomach at least, that the person wasn't willing to take action on anything, and really just kind of stayed in the same place. But when someone comes to me, and then I give them the information or some type of mentorship, and they take action and get results, that's the most rewarding feeling.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 34:10Lewis Howes?

  But when nine times out of 10, people don't take the action you give them, that would support them in achieving their goal, whatever it is, it leaves me very unsatisfied, and it's kind of like, you know, you really got to do the right things to get in front of someone, I think, to make it worth their time and be, feel valued.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Absolutely. Yeah, and again, man, just not trying to be so... So selfish in that transaction, you know, and I have certainly made those mistakes myself, you know, being young and ambitious and these sorts of things. You can, you can try to like just sprint it when really realizing that this is a marathon. That you, you know, anyone who's a mentor, like anyone that you respect, you just, I feel like you just want to honor them, like honor them, honor their time, like be genuine, like, you know, don't, don't be crazy and like, you know, just do this all sloppy. Um, you know, another side tangent of advice would be you got to realize email is the most crowded channel

• 35:11Speaker 01

  and snail mail is the, the least crowded channel. So, you know, if you're having trouble trying to get in touch with someone, you know, try to, you know, perhaps vary your channel where it's not as crowded. I, I once wanted someone to answer a question. Um, and I sent them an iPad with a video on it with my question. Uh, you know, an email is going to get deleted, but, but an iPad's not going to get thrown away.

• 35:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, someone sent me a laptop once with a, a video on it. And I was like, that got my attention.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 35:44Lewis Howes?

  They said, keep the laptop. I was like, all right, thanks.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Exactly. You know, and it's not about the significance of the thing they sent you. It's not like, oh, because it's a $2,000 laptop. It's that here's someone who has broken the typical pattern.

• 35:59Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Someone who's being thoughtful and intelligent about the way that they're approaching someone, uh, that they feel like, uh, you know, could offer them some advice. That's, that's really, I think, why people like, you know, yourself, myself and others, respond to that sort of thing is like, you know, if they're willing to go out of their way to do something this, uh, creative, then they're very likely going to implement the advice.

• 36:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and you don't need to do the whole laptop or iPad thing. I mean, I got an email a couple

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Well, you do for me. I want to be clear. Your box 530.

• 36:32Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. It really moved me. And I was just like, man, this guy took the time. He was so authentic in the video. Told me what he appreciated about me. And I was like, who doesn't like to feel appreciation? For what they do. And, you know, it's gonna make me remember him. He didn't ask for me for anything either. He just said, I want to say thank you. And that was it. And, you know, next time he emails me, I'll probably respond and want to give him some of my time. So. Um. That's definitely some great advice. I appreciate that. Uh, what else do you think? Do you, do you feel like mentorship is then one of the keys? To getting to where you've been so far in your, let's say, business success and kind of like? TV show success, book success, that type of thing?

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, I mean, I know, I know without question it was for me. I, I think back to. About four years ago. When, you know, I had, you know, essentially what I do is being a speaker and an author, or at least that's just what I was doing back then. Um. You know, I had had some pretty significant success in that and, and sort of checked off a lot of those. You know, crazy goals that I secretly actually never thought I would accomplish. Um, but then, you know, I kind of woke up and realized that I have essentially a high paying manual labor job.

• 37:47Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  Uh, my wife and I were about to have our first kid. And. The idea of leaving. Uh, my family now than with a child. And, and family being so important to me. You know, consistently to have to earn a living. Um, was just to be honest, very, very heartbreaking. And, um. Just sounded absolutely terrible. To me. And so I sought out a mentor. Who worked with a personal development guru, so to speak. To sort of help him grow his business from. You know, this one guy who is pretty successful at doing this thing.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  To a team and various sources of. Impact and income. And I paid this guy, um, $10,000 a month. To meet with me for just one day a month in person. To give me very specific, you know, things that I needed to do. And honestly, that advice was worth 10x what I invested in it. But again, you know, someone could hear, "Oh, my gosh, 10,000 bucks for a mentor. That sounds crazy." But it's not crazy if you know, A, that you're going to be committed to implementing it, and B, that you're going to figure it out, and that you know that ultimately, you know,

• 39:17Speaker 01

  not making those wrong hires, not scaling in the wrong way, not doing all those things that you could do, you know, trying to well-intendingly scale your business, or grow your business, or grow what, or start your business, or whatever your situation is, is going to be worth absolutely every single dollar.

• 39:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you know, that's another, that's another thing to talk about is like, if you really want to mentor that bad, you can just hire one, you know, if you've got the money to make it happen. And that accountability of like, "I need to make my money back,"

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:53Lewis Howes?

  may give you the urgency to take action even that much greater, as opposed to looking for a mentor.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  You know, it's an interesting thing, and it isn't, you know, the idea of like, either I'm going to charge someone to mentor them, or on the other side, you know, I'm going to pay, you know, him or her to mentor me. It's kind of an interesting topic that sometimes people get the wrong idea about. And for me, I serve this organization called You Speaker University, where I mentor and train other people who essentially want to do what I do. And for me, it was not so much about the money, but the money became a, well, not only a symbol, but a bit of a gatekeeper.

• 40:34Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm. Who's going to take action? Who's serious about it?

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Exactly. Like, if you don't, yeah, if you don't have some skin in the game, and like, if your husband or wife isn't going to, you know, harass you of like, "All right, but you, you know, you better listen to what he says, and you better take action, you better do this and that." You know, sometimes I think, you know, we're better, at least a guy like me, I need to, there needs to be a bit of that calculated, intelligent risk there for me. And then, as a guy who's now mentoring others, you know, I think that money is ultimately, to me, it's not about the money that, "Oh, I get to make that money." But again, it's the sort of person

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Or the sort of people that you're going to find who see that investment as a no-brainer. Those are ultimately the people that are going to be the coolest, the best to work with. They've humbled themselves because it's not, they have more on the line than just, "I'm going to send a blind email, but I've made an investment and this is significant to me." And then, you know, those are the folks that are going to actually go out there and eventually succeed.

• 41:49Lewis Howes?

  Right, exactly.

• 41:52Lewis Howes?

  Now, what's your, you know, you've got this passion, you've got this mission you're on, you've got TV shows coming out, books, you mentor people, you coach them, you've got this great business, but what really is, one, your biggest regret up until now?

• 42:08Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  So many. I mean, truly, yeah, I know it's like funny now, but, but, but, I mean, I mean it. To me, I think because of the way I grew up, I sort of overcompensated with ego and "I need to do this on my own" and "I've got this" and, you know, "I'm going to prove you wrong." There was so much fear and arrogance and ego in what I was doing. And I was doing things early on for my ego instead of to actually make a difference. Or I was doing things to build my ego instead of building my business on the other side of the equation.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  So, I really regret not being more open to partnerships and hiring people and realizing that I can't, should not, and will not do this all by myself. But I need to humble myself and realize, at the end of the day, there are three things I'm great at and I'm pretty terrible at everything else.

• 43:26Speaker 01

  And so, why not focus on and nerd out and continue to sharpen and hone those handful of things that I am pretty dang good at? And have the maturity to team up with others who can fill in those gaps and realize that that's okay. That's one thing. And then another thing for me is just my disciplines around my work and my life, you know, years ago were very terrible and very destructive to my family life, which is the

• 44:09Speaker 01

  very thing that I say I do all this for. And to me, I can shed some light on that. Number one, I cut off my workday at a very specific time, every single day, Monday through Friday, even though I don't have to do that, even though I could do this work whenever I feel like it. But I have a very specific shut-off time. And then I literally hand my laptop to my wife because I don't have email on my phone, I don't have Twitter, Facebook, any of that on my phone. Because in years past, I was both robbing my business and my family.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  You know, when I was with my family, I would check an email, get sucked into it emotionally, but not actually reply. And so now, poof, I'm gone from them, I'm just a warm body. Right. Or I would be working but not have specific kind of work hours and parameters around it. So I felt like I was neglecting my family and I had this sort of remorse there instead of knowing, this is my specific sacred time to work on my business stuff, so dude, no worries, no regrets, the family knows that this is that time, so do your thing. You know, I'm so appreciative for putting those parameters on now.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  And sometimes when you're doing your own thing, it's like, you know, I'm the man, I don't work for a boss anymore, I can do this whenever, wherever, this and that. But at least for me, and I've found for many others, having some self-imposed boundaries.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  Um, is so, so helpful to your success long term.

• 45:56Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Have you, have you ever met your mom?

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Never. No, I've actually, in my entire life, uh, I've only met one individual related to me. And that was just a couple of years ago.

• 46:10Lewis Howes?

  Is your mom still alive?

• 46:11Speaker 01

  She is.

• 46:13Lewis Howes?

  What's holding you back from reaching out to connect with her?

• 46:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, great question. Um, I have tried to reach out to her a few times. A few times when I was little, we would talk on the phone. And she would say, I'm gonna come meet you next Tuesday. Um, and she wouldn't.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  She would say, you know, and I would get all excited and like get really dressed up and like couldn't sleep the night before. Um, and then she wouldn't show up. And I remember pacing in that living room and pulling back the curtain and is that her car? Is that her car? I wonder, oh, maybe that car that drove by, maybe she missed the address on the house.

• 46:51Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Um, you know, that, those moments really strike me and actually shaped me today, like, something I'm really good at is time and something that unhinges me.

• 47:02Lewis Howes?

  Being your word.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Is time. Uh, you know, Louis and I, we had our, we had our Skype thing, scheduled the day for noon. You know, I'm showing up at 11:55. Hey, I'm here just to see, uh, it's like, uh, but, but I'm just like that, you know, if my wife. Yeah. If my wife is running late, like I gotta be careful there 'cause like I will get pissed off.

• 47:21Lewis Howes?

  I hear you.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  You know, and so it's, it's something that's, that's shaped me again, as I said earlier, kind of good and bad. It can set me off to the degree that it really shouldn't, but, but it also makes me realize that you never know what a promise that you've made to someone could mean to them that to you is not a big deal.

• 47:44Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Like honestly, man, you know, that I'm gonna come see you Wednesday at three o'clock and I wanna meet you. That like I, my world revolved around that time. Everything revolved around that time. Um.

• 48:02Lewis Howes?

  So when did you, when did you finally forgive your mom?

• 48:09Lewis Howes?

  Or have you, have you yet to forgive her yet?

• 48:12Speaker 01

  No, I would, I would, I would humbly say that I have. You know, and if I could go back and change everything, I wouldn't change a thing. I, I know that may sound cliche or like motivational speaker of me to say, but I genuinely mean it. I probably forgave her probably once I started in that counseling and, and realized how, you know, my life might have been worse, you know, had she held on to me, you know, had she kept me, who knows, sort of that instability that she had in her life at that young of age.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  And also realizing that, you know, when you forgive someone, forgiveness is really not about them, it's about you.

• 49:02Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  You know, it frees you, you know, even though I, I've never been able to say to her, "I forgive you," but saying that to myself has, has, has really freed me.

• 49:17Lewis Howes?

  Have you been able to forgive yourself yet?

• 49:22Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, I think.

• 49:24Lewis Howes?

  Do you think you, you can fully forgive yourself without at least reaching, seeing her and taking the action to see her?

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so. I mean, I, I certainly don't hold any grudge to her, you know, about what happened and I, at least at this point, don't blame myself, you know, I certainly did early on, you know, maybe if I was smarter, cuter, more interesting, or funnier, or, um, all of those sorts of things, she would have stuck around. But I just realized it is, you know, it's something that happened. I, I can't control it, I have to forgive, I have to move on, I have to try to, to learn, you know, is there something to be learned from it? Is there something good I can do from it? You know, that's a, that's a perspective that I have on it now.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  Is that the perspective I always have on it? Of, of course not. But, but when I'm healthy and, and, and doing the things I need to do and, and am around the people that I need to be around that remind me of who I am, not, not the lies in my head or the fears in my past, then, then yeah.

• 50:37Lewis Howes?

  What's your biggest fear moving forward?

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Hmm. I mean, I, I think ultimately, to me, it would, it would circle around my, my biggest motivating factor, which is being a great dad and husband. That means more to me than, than any of the stuff I'm doing professionally. Even though I enjoy it and even though some of it is kind of cool. That's what it is. And so my fear would be that I would, that I would allow myself to get sucked in, that I would allow myself to get sucked into, you know, accolades that can come from a book

• 51:25Speaker 01

  or TV or, or this and that and to begin to get seduced by that and, and think that that's what matters and, or that's who I am, or how well that's going defines who I am or who I'm not. You know, I, I, I think that would be a fear for me to, to influence, as you said in the introduction, two million kids, but, but not deeply, deeply influence my kids, deeply support and encourage my wife. You know, then I would just be an absolute hypocrite and, and I would be ashamed.

• 52:06Lewis Howes?

  Do you think you can have both where you're impacting millions of people around the world or, you know, a large amount of people around the world and also be there for your family, your kids, your wife, you know, with a hundred percent attention and love and?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  You know what, that's the life I'm attempting to build. You know, and Louis, I've tried to find that mentor. And I'll be honest with you, I haven't found him.

• 52:37Lewis Howes?

  Because there's not too many people, you know, you look at like Oprah and things like that.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 52:42Lewis Howes?

  It's like, can you have both?

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's easy to find like, the person who's young and successful and has killed it. Or it's easy to find like, the person who's an awesome family man.

• 52:54Lewis Howes?

  Who hasn't killed it yet.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Or, or his definition of success is different.

• 52:59Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  But, but I want to, and, and this is the exciting journey that I'm excited to go on, is, is unquestionably, I am motivated and intentional in building this empire of impact. But I also want to unquestionably run after and, and build a meaningful, loving, fun, you know, imperfect, but meaningful family life. And I have been unable to find that mentor. But, but that is, that is a challenge in front of me, and that's the challenge I'm excited to go after.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  And to me, I think it, so much of it is making smart, long-term, scalable, technology smart, financially wise investments and moves in your business. So as an example, although I could travel and do paid speaking gigs and get paid a, a truckload of cash to be on the road a couple hundred days a year, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. So instead, I'm going to stay at home and with my team, we're gonna lose money in the beginning. We're gonna make an investment in the beginning.

• 54:19Speaker 01

  We're gonna make an investment of time without getting paid for it initially, in order to build out things that can scale both impact and income, without me having to constantly get on a plane and get away from, from my family.

• 54:33Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  So that's what I'm going to be attempting to do over the next 20 years. But I think it's, you know, to me, one of my big life philosophies is that wishful thinking is not a strategy.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  And I can hope and wish and think and positive, you know, thinking all day long that that would happen. And yes, that's helpful, but I also need to understand that everything I say yes to in my business, every opportunity I say yes to, every little venture I start up, every yes is saying no to something else.

• 55:08Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  And so, am I making smart, wise decisions there that are in alignment with my so-called values?

• 55:16Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. I like it, man. Well, let's wrap it up with the final question, and that is, what's your definition of greatness?

• 55:23Speaker 01

  See, this was the one question I knew you were gonna ask.

• 55:25Lewis Howes?

  (laughing)

• 55:26Speaker 01

  So I was like, I'm gonna get him, this one's gonna be premeditated.

• 55:30Lewis Howes?

  (laughing)

• 55:31Speaker 01

  Um, alright, so here's my definition of greatness. Intentional, consistent, incremental improvement.

• 55:43Lewis Howes?

  There you have it. I love it, man. It's a great one. It's a great quote.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, intentional, consistent, incremental improvement, and, you know, for someone listening, you know, to me, that's, that all goes back to that next step. If, if you can take your next step towards greatness, that, that's all that matters. Don't look at someone else's next step, or where they're at, or, or if you're ahead of people, don't, don't be prideful in that. But, you know, intentional, consistent, incremental improvement, I think that's pretty dang great.

• 56:18Lewis Howes?

  It's, that's great, man. Always about taking the next step and improving yourself.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 56:22Lewis Howes?

  I love it, man. Well, Josh, where can we find you online?

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Yep, I'm at Josh Shipp. That's S-H-I-P-P dot com.

• 56:31Lewis Howes?

  Awesome, and everywhere else is your name, I'm assuming? Twitter, Facebook?

• 56:35Speaker 01

  Yep, yep, Josh Shipp on Twitter, Facebook, all that.

• 56:39Lewis Howes?

  And what's, what's one fact, fun fact about you that almost only a few people know about you?

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Uh, hmm. When I was a kid, I was very overweight, and I had to shop in the, this section of the store for Husky jeans.

• 56:57Lewis Howes?

  (laughing)

• 56:58Speaker 01

  And damn those retailers, they would put it at the front of the store.

• 57:02Lewis Howes?

  (laughing)

• 57:03Speaker 01

  And it's like, look, I know I'm overweight, do you really have to call it Husky?

• 57:07Lewis Howes?

  (laughing)

• 57:09Speaker 01

  So yeah.

• 57:10Lewis Howes?

  Nice fact.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  That's why JCPenney's went out of business.

• 57:13Lewis Howes?

  Why? Nice man. Well, Josh, I appreciate it, man. Thanks for the insights and for opening up and sharing your wisdom. I know everyone listening really appreciates it as well, and we will talk to you soon, man.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Absolute pleasure.

• 57:37Lewis Howes?

  And there you have it, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode with Josh and really talking about all these different questions about the importance of your personal story for your business and also how to build an empire of impact. I really liked that part when we're talking about building an empire of impact and making money around that impact as well. So if you guys enjoyed this, make sure to check out the show notes over at LewisHowes.com, or you can check out SchoolOfGreatness.com as well. Please leave a comment, leave a question at the very end of the show notes, and leave your thoughts on that specific question. Go ahead and share this with your friends over on Twitter and

• 58:18Lewis Howes?

  on Facebook. Make sure to check out Josh's website as well over at JoshShip.com. And I appreciate you guys, I really do. I've been meeting a lot of people randomly in LA and at different conferences, and pretty much every time I travel, it seems like I'm meeting different listeners of the podcast. And I tell you what, it's such an amazing feeling to hear your personal stories about what's inspired you, which guest you loved the most, what thing they said that really touched your heart, opened your mind, opened your soul, and started inspiring you to go after what you want in your own life and in your business and your health, and really stepping

• 59:02Lewis Howes?

  into your own greatness. So again, if you guys ever see me around, feel free to stop me, say hi, let me know what episode you loved the most. It would mean the world to me. It's what I love doing the most is really connecting with you guys. With that, guys, it's a pleasure to do these podcasts. I've got some big ones coming up soon and I'm gonna be sharing some more solo rounds. I've been getting requests for solo rounds a lot lately. I've done a couple and I'm gonna be doing some very personal ones in the near future. Some, uh, some things I'm excited to share with you guys. So if you haven't yet subscribed to the podcast, please do over on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, and everywhere else you can subscribe and continue to spread the word.

• 59:47Lewis Howes?

  Whichever episodes you love, just share the word over on Twitter and Facebook, Google Plus, LinkedIn, all over the place. You guys know where to find me, I'm at Lewis Howes everywhere. And, uh, I'm just so blessed to have this opportunity to hang out with you once a week and share amazing guests with you and all of their wealth of information. So thank you again so much for being a listener and spreading the word of greatness. You guys know what time it is, it's time to go out there and do something great.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

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• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of fraternalism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  To lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood, now is the time.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  To make justice a reality for all the God's children.